#also what even is gender

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[linddzz]

Thinking about Weird Barbie and how she's the very obviously queer outsider of the Barbie world, she straddles the lines between Barbie and the Real World. She's the most aware of the performative nature of it all. She supports Barbie while also gently mocking her panic at losing the hyperfeminine perfection. Her weird house is also home to the discontinued reject weird Barbies, the outcasts (including very gay earring Ken) who never fell into either the original matriarchy or the Kentriarchy brainwashing.

The other more classically heteronormative and beautiful Barbies both pity and fear her, and at first the narrative pities her as well. She's the vessel of girls going weird and crazy and feral on their dolls and that's amazing. Weird Barbie is aware of who she is and how the world sees her and she loves it. She's Weird Barbie and She Owns It.

#i couldnt identify with a lot of the Barbies Feminine Crisis on as deep a level as other women i know #but holy shit did i see what they did with Weird Barbie aka Queer Barbie #GOD this movie did such a great job capturing the feeling of #gender is fake and but also its real #ive been having gender thoughts #mostly about how im so goddamn ambivalent about gender that i can't even identify #with the idea of thinking about What Is My Gender enough to say its nonbinary #my gender is Sure Okay #she/her yeah fine its whatever #barbie

[pokeberry5]

girl experiences gender euphoria and is immediately slammed by grief

for @litttlittt <3. this was supposed to be a portrait of caroline hill, but litta mentioned tim looking like janet when dressed as caroline and identity issues and angst and things spiraled

something about tim not knowing if he's his mother's child or bruce's or neither's.

figuring out the looks:

i wanted janet to have that poofy 70s hair

#tim drake #dc #bruce wayne #janet drake #sart #i'm picturing this as transfemme tim hence “he” and also compounding issues about bruce treating him as a daughter #which is exactly the gender validation tim wants and needs but isnt sure he deserves #but this also definitely works for trans tim #she gets to process that she looks like her mom!! and her mom will never get to know her daughter #would she have wanted to know her daughter? even though she showered tim with love when she was around #she barely knew her son #gender idk he's a girl 👍 hope that helps #i went down a rabbit hole looking up vintage dior necklaces -- hopefully something martha wayne wouldve worn #-- but dior necklaces are COMPLICATED #i almost drew pearls but i think that wouldve been too cruel to bruce lol #(a decent amount of my art--even when it's not femme tim--gets tagged 'gender' and i dont know what im going but im glad 👍)

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

being nonbinary in a world that refuses to acknowledge more than 2 genders is weird bc like. i've literally found myself thinking "what if i go on hormones so my parents misgender me but in a different way"

#just for variety. just to shake things up a bit. diversify my trauma portfolio #also it's weird for several hundred other reasons this is just what has been recently on my minds #also 'i don't necessarily want to present as a specific gender but i DO want people to be deeply confused about what they're looking at so' #I don't want to be MISgendered i want people to be so confused they give up even attempting pronouns #out of sheer psychological horror if nothing else #you've got neopronouns i've got NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!pronouns

[aliosne]

Saw a post about working class butches in physical labour jobs and wanted to make my own, so: I love you butches who do childcare or early education. I love you butch nurses. I love you butch house cleaners and janitorial staff. I love you service industry butches. I love you butches who do sex work. I love you working class butches who do “feminine” jobs you are cool as hell

#butch #lgbtqia #lesbian #its me im butches doing stereotypically feminine work #when I was nannying full time I kind of thought of it as I was doing Nanny Gender #like especially bc I wore mostly dresses then for practicality reasons #which gave me The Dysphorias but yeah. my way of navigating that was to get a little fluid with it. #also even tho they don’t get perceived as such: all of these jobs are as physically demanding as many ‘physical’ jobs #like girly at least when I worked in a warehouse/delivery bay I got to sit down #look I could probably think of a better term than ‘physical labour’ but like. you know what I mean. #anyway. sometimes you have those I am uncomfortable when we are not about me moments #and then you remember that you can just go talk about your experience

[houseswife]

transgender detector going haywire rn…

#the fact that this was in the down low (THEE gay episode) too #this is either transmasc chase getting pissed about being misgendered #or transfemme chase reacting in indignation to being outed #take your pick #this bad boy can fit soo much gender in them #house md #robert chase #gregory house #hatecrimes md #greg house #like I’m trying so hard not to see chase as anything but an annoying cishet man #but the sheer level of queer implications they throw at him makes it insanely difficult #remy thirteen hadley #the more I think about it the more canon it feels #because he doesn’t even have long hair anymore. he’s not so twinkishly pretty as to be mistaken for a girl at this age. so what was this!!! #he has STUBBLE #+ somebody mentioned in the rbs that this is also trans!remy proof and. omg ur so right #enby thirteen rights #or whatever other headcanons y’all have for ‘em!! #prodigal siblings #prodigal twins

[maomango-doodle]

Playing around with the color wheel WEEE

#self-indulgent doodles babyyy #mostly a mix of pose studies and chibis #my fave color is green but im rly into pink lately #color palettes based on pride flags btw. except for the last doodle page #gender is like clay. its whatever i want it to be 🫶 #half op vash and no op knives are so important to me #love me some relaxed/silly vw. sharing clothes or glasses #SOOOO normal about ww wearing vash's coat :DDD #and vash being comfortable enough to let his wings and feathers out around ww and not cover up his scars #also tryna come up with a name for legato-vash-midvalley trio. not even a romantic trio theyre just a couple of buffoons annoying each othe #midgatovash? legavashvalley?? VHS as in vashhornsummers?? valleybluestyphoon??? #god im so bad at coming up with names..... #i'm mainly thinking of their dynamic in '98 but trimax also works #so much flavor to this trio imo #anyway. it's fun playing dress up with characters and trying to find what would fit their style and all. i wanna do more of that #trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vashwood #millions knives #legato bluesummers #millionsummers #midvalley the hornfreak #shinxo art

[ratislatis]

I'll find you. For the love of god, I'll find you. Wait for me.

hee hee hoo hoo AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PAIN PAIN SUFFERING PAIN IN ALL DIRECTIONS!!!! TO HELL WITH IT (LITERALLY)!!!!!!!!!

#oakworthy #dungeons and daddies #dndads #fanart #hermie the unworthy #normal oak garcia #The Normal AU #counterpoint: this could also be normal canon. pun intended #they're soulmates your honor #rip to everybody on a phone. this only looks good on pc #I haven't drawn or really even posted about normal a lot because #I guess my internal image of him doesn't really look like what the rest of the community draws him as #like I tried to do the fluffy haired normal in one of my first posts with him #(was also an oakworthy drawing LMAO) #but it didn't feel right for me. it didn't match what I saw in my brain #no disrespect to fluffy normal. shoutout to that guy #gotta be one of my favorite genders #but yknow. every artist has their own unique way of drawing the cast #and it can tell you so much about how they perceive them. so much about the artists themselves. #have you fucking looked at sage's willy stampler. the npcs series. have you looked at their fucking anything dude #have you fucking LOOKED at iersei's EVERYTHING. ESPECIALLY THEIR NORMAL HE IS SO CUTE #I went on a whole rant about dndads artists to my friend qrow the other day. because I could not physically #keep in how much I love these people in our community #would you guys think im weird if I made a post going into Extremely Concerning Detail about how much I love the artists here #I love so many artists here #its so insane. its SO insane #IM ALREWADY ON MY SOAPBOX. ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT #SOB #I have to do my homework

[zivazivc]

For those of you wondering about Les's mysterious younger sibling. It's Hed, he's the little brother.

They share a mom who was a rock troll. Les's dad is funk, and Hed's dad is rock, but he lived in Vibe City since very young so he's also basically mixed genre like his bro.

In the second pic he's singing/rapping Tastes Just Like Chicken by Scatterbrain. I feel like this is the kind of music he would make when younger.

and bonus: meet the nominees for the worst parents award

#trolls #dreamworks trolls #ex bandmates #my art #I feel like trolls' music genres are based in their genes (race) #but are also an amalgamation of their upbringing. culture. and perhaps even gender (🤔) #like it's an integral part of their self expression that they can't live happily without #and like all those things many have a clear relationship with it while with some it's not so cut-and-dried #and they need a while to figure it all out #I chose the parents genres solely based on what the brothers' genres derive from irl because I'm a little obsessed with the little details #they are also whatever is the troll equivalent of potheads and crackheads. also drunks... #also just awful trolls all around #the brothers really hit a jackpot with them #trolls oc #les #hed

[amusl02]

Son of Ogre

#*proceeds to French kiss his gf* #those scenes caught me so off guard like WHAT but also aww both are down bad for each other <3 #baki hanma #baki the grappler #baki son of ogre #baki #my art #sketch #I need more girlies in the fandom like do you know how many fics this fandom has?? NOT ENOUGH #(girlies in a gender neutral way) #there’s even less fanart but I mean fandom-type of fanart if ya know what I mean #no but fr when he and his gf are in screen I feel like I gotta cover my eyes you never know when they’ll start climbing each other #BUT ALSO #it’s sort of refreshing seeing a shonen protag who seems to actually like his partner… like I was expecting a bromance not THAT #not complaining though they are cute

[miracleofunicorns]

Seeing all these fankids running around makes me think of the tmnt 2003 fandom days <3<3<3, there are def more fankids but I only have so much steam

(fankids left to right)

Amaterasu Hamato belongs to @sha-biest Casey Jr. belongs to Leonardo Augustine Hamato belongs to @star-sparkler Lita May belongs to @cupcakeslushie Yummi Hamato belongs to @rednleafff

#I like how EW!Donnie grew up differently from Replica!Donnie and still made an oops baby #Donnie is just determined to make babies and not think about what happens after the baby exists #ALSO ALSO I LOOOVE how most of these kids were either “poofed” into existence via either science or magic or even just straight up adopted #bc way back in the 2003 fandom days if you wanted a fankid then mpreg was involved #I still see it and I appreciate it bc the mpreg is often called as a trans thing NOWadays #and as someone who is constantly smothering her/his/their gender lovingly with a pillow I think that's neat #art #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt fan art #tmnt #rottmnt future au #rottmnt michelangelo #rottmnt mikey #tmnt fan art #tmnt 2018 #tmnt fanart #Lita May #yummi #Ammi #Yummi Hamato #The Last Ronin #Augustine Hamato #tmnt fankids #rottmnt fankids #Amaterasu Hamato

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[radsplain]

"the problem is men, not trans women!"

ok but what is a man? what is it about this group of people that makes them a problem? is it the identity of 'man' that's the problem? and if all men stopped identifying as men would the problem go away?

#self-id is rotting your brains #this also reminds me of the posts i used to see like 'i hate ALL men and YES that includes trans men!!" like lmao #what the hell are y'all even on about #breaking your backs bending over backwards to validate grown ass men as 'women' #and throwing actual women (afabs) into the oppressor class to keep the “logic” consistent. how embarrassing! #gender lunacy #self-id #radsplain.txt

[sporeclan]

< Previous | First | Next >

All grown up <3

#clangen #clan generator #warriors oc #warrior cats #sporeclan #only two of them got to get their names :(((((((( #you all have no idea how much i wanted to instantly burst into tears when spottedfrost saw mousegrove doing her best. sobbing. wailing even #also i love you piperkit. she cant stop talking about snails ever to the detriment of her family's sleep schedule and i love her for it #sc moons #sc:mousegrove #sc:piperkit #sc:finchkit #sc:spottedpaw #sc:spottedfrost #sc:cliffpaw #sc:cliffthicket #sc:foxspeckle #sc:oakfox #sc:minklake #sc:fadedtuft #a little fun fact i looked through the files to see what mushroompaws name wouldve been and it was mushroomprance... so cute </3 #im keeping cinnamonpaw's name a secret for now in case he ever returns #edit: i forgot to add the ages and genders................ sigh.............. its what i get for drawing while tired and exhausted

[sainamoonshine]

My unpopular opinion is that in languages with grammatical gender like french, it does make sense for Murderbot to be referred to by whatever pronoun is usually used for robots or constructs. (In french, therefore, grammatical masculine.) Because there are no traditional « it » pronouns in these languages for objects, and while there are neo-pronouns, they are things one must choose for themselves. Do you honestly think MB actually spent time thinking about its pronouns?! No it didn’t. On forms it picks « non-applicable ». When people ask it what pronouns they should use, its honest opinion is « why do you even need to talk about me. Just don’t fucking do that. Don’t think about me either. Just fucking stop perceiving me altogether! »

Thinking about what pronouns to use probably makes it way more uncomfortable than letting people call it what they’ve already been calling it. Making a conscious choice about its identity? And telling other people about it??? No thanks bye, it’s just gonna walk into the ocean now, see you never.

Lbr it probably thinks the only bots that get fancy pronouns are comfort units, and the pronouns are probably shoved into them by humans same as everything else. MB would meet a bot using a neopronoun and it would wish it could barf. Because in a language like french, he/him and she/her, when applied to objects, ARE fulfilling the function of the english « it ». Nobody is saying the table is a woman or related to feminity in any way outside of stand-up comedy; when it comes to objects grammatical gender really has fuckall to do with human gender even if we use the same words. Even animal species names have grammatical gender and everyone gets that there are male and female turtles even if the word « turtle » is a female word, it’s not that confusing.

(I know this is strange when your language has different pronouns for people and for objects, but understand that english uses the same word to indicate if I’m addressing one or many people, and that is confusing to me.)

TL;DR; stop harassing international fans for not getting the correct MB pronoun in english right off the bat. Yes in english calling it « he » or « her » or « them » is upsetting because it’s projecting an identity unto it. But same goes for trying to get a foreign language translation to use a pronoun intended to express or showcase an identity (or even a lack of one!). Murderbot has not thought about it this hard, refuses to think about it this hard -> and that is its only canon accurate gender identity.

#the murderbot diaries #taking a bat to an hornet’s nest there but I said what I said #I go by she/her because that’s the default people use for me even tho my own gender identity is also #ugh I would sincerely prefer not to have to deal with this think about it or even be perceived #and I would be hella pissed if a book of my life came out and people got into fights about my pronouns #trying to assign me the most politically accurate agender pronoun possible #when my own choice has always been specifically to let people call me the default because idc #and I don’t want to be identified by any identifier that might indicate I do care #and using a different pronoun even if its a gender neutral one is a CHOICE! #it does indicate a preference! and caring about it enough to pick a word and tell people about it!!! #Murderbot didn’t pick IT that is specifically the point! #it was used for it and MB just kept going with that #I mean imagine it if wrote down a different pronoun on its ID form one day and someone actually called it that #it would set itself on fire #its discomfort at having made a personal choice and the personal choice being respected would be off the charts #maybe it a later book after hella character development but I just don’t see it happening tbh #respect the agenders who just don’t want to get involved and use the pronoun equivalent of the default avatar that came with the account #PLEASE #that is all

[public-trans-it]

i was a trans man until after a lot of build up of doubting myself, i finally realized that we are putting ourselves further into boxes by not accepting that we are the biological sex that we are and we can do WHATEVER we want at the same time.

clothes and makeup and certain interests do not equal gender.

and not liking being a woman is an unfortunately natural symptom of puberty and/or experiencing society’s deeply ingrained misogyny. and everyone deserves support for those problems.

but we can all fight together against gender social constructs in a healthy way without prescribing people hormones and invasive cosmetic surgery to make them more like the sex they “should” be according to… social constructs…. and help them be comfortable in who they are

Alright. Its been like 9 fucking months that I have been staring down this ask. What better time than to give TERFs some nuance than right in the middle of a fucking hate campaign going on where people (well... singular person probably) are calling me a TERF. This wont backfire.

This post arrived in my inbox shortly after I made another post about gender, and just how fucking weird it can be, and how I genuinely believed every single person on this planet has a fascinating relationship with gender, and so much nuance and personal identity in theirs. Even cis people. Even TERFs. In the tags, I even begrudgingly encouraged TERFs to talk about their gender on that post if they wanted. I genuinely think that TERFs do have really cool relationships with gender. As I mentioned in those tags, the quickest way to explode a group of TERFs is to get them to start talking about their own relationships with gender, and see how vastly different it is, and watching them stab each other in the back over it. So I told them to ramble away about how they view gender, as long as they stayed the fuck away from the rest of the blog WHICH THIS ANON CLEARLY FUCKING IGNORED.

But... this anon does bring up another topic I want to talk about.

Detransition.

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I am a huge supporter of detransitioning. This is... surprisingly... not a very common stance in the trans community, and it breaks my fucking heart. Like, I get it. I understand why. A LOT of detransitioners, like the person in this ask, end up weaponizing their feelings of gender against other trans people.

My support of transition comes from the intersection of two very central beliefs of mine:

Everyone should explore their gender without feeling a need to commit! This is a pretty common belief in the trans community! Damn near universal in fact! We even have a fun little term we use for people who decide to play around with gender, only to end up a bit closer to where they started and being perfectly happy with that: Cis+. Someone who is cis, but at least put in the work to understand the trans experience, and actually CHOOSE to remain Cis instead of just defaulting to it with societal pressure. Many trans people are much more comfortable around 'Cis+' people, because they know these are people who have taken the time and put in the work of being an ally. Self examination isn't easy, especially not publicly, and doing so is genuinely one of the strongest ways a Cis person could ever show their support.

It is never too late to transition. This is also a pretty common belief in the trans community! It is... sadly not quite as universal though. But it is something very important that needs to be said. You could be 80 years old, sitting in a retirement home, and go "You know what? I think I'd rather wear a dress and be treated like a lady. I don't want to be buried as a man." And I think every single trans person should have that freedom!

I was discussing this with @thydungeongal the other day, far more paraphrased than this post, and she said something incredible that has been knocking around in my head ever since.

"Gender is an ongoing process"

Those five words they said to me sum up my feelings far more than this entire post could. Gender IS an ongoing process. My gender has changed SO MUCH over the past three decades. From the straightjacket of assigned gender that I was once forced into; to the very stylish and still lovable finely tailored suit of femininity that grew a little too stuffy to wear constantly, even though I do still enjoy it and try it on from time to time; to the wonderful and freeing losely fitting clothing of being aegogender, finally feeling free to be myself and just act naturally and feel natural without having to keep up an appearance!

And I think, there is no length of time you can try out being trans, and trying out new genders, before eventually coming to the realization you were cis all along. Even if you started HRT. Even if you got SRS. Heck, I don't even think you should have to call yourself trans to do either of those things in the first place, why would I be upset that someone did them and then realized they weren't trans? No single moment in your life should EVER lock your gender in place into some unchanging, set in stone thing.

So I support detransitioners completely, with my entire heart. They deserve just as much support as every other 'Cis+' person out there.

So anon, while many people may hate you and lash out at you for detransitioning, I want you to know, that I am not one of them. It sounds like your detransition might have been forced by peer pressure, which is heart breaking to hear. No one should ever force their own gender expectations on another. I hope that wasn't the case. I hope you came to the decision yourself, after realizing whats right for you. I will never give you hate for your detransition.

I WILL ABSOLUTELY GIVE YOU HATE FOR BEING A FUCKING TERF THOUGH. YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE WITH GENDER DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO POLICE THE GENDER OF OTHERS, FUCK OFF. GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

#I think I'm gonna start doing that for Read Mores #so you can find your place easier after click it #since my 'style' in these long posts is like... a fairly longish NON-readmore post. followed by the actual readmore. Let me know if it work #text essay #gender #detransition #I uh... also have some more... complex feelings of detransitioning #that may be a LIIIIIIITTLE more controversial......... #none of it goes against what i said here #its more personal stuff with my own gender and how detransition specifically is something that exists not as gender itself #but as the societal perceptions of a persons gender #but thats a more complex topic that I'll add on to this at another date #also I am absolutely taking this ask at face value for the sake of this post #but I am not so naive as to believe that the blatant TERF that sent it was being genuine #this is ABSOLUTELY the kind of thing they send people to drive a wedge in the community #I'm not even going to fucking dignify that part of it with any mention in the body of this post #edit: ........... okay the readmore accidentally moved somehow #I fixed it now though