#also wanna figure out some tags and get some icons done....

[allkinds-oftrash]

Dress

A/N: Hello again yall happy one month to the first part - Magic Jake! I honestly don’t know how the rest of you do it always putting out content consistently I applaud you all! For those of you have been following or listening to me ramble about this fic forever, thank you for waiting and its finally here!! It went through a couple of rewrites and changes but we made it. I would like to thank my writing friends for always writing with me, listening to my TGM rambles and hyping me up for this fic @hptriviachamp (an iconic beta reader a girl can ask for!) @jeanvanjer (who yall can thank for some of the most wholesome and fluffy scenes in this fic) @sophiamariabeckett (a bestie for life).  To all my Top Gun mutuals and new friends thank you so much for welcoming me into the fandom and always engaging back whenever I interact with yalls’ posts - you guys are the best!! Special shout out to @magneticghouls my Top Gun bestie. @rad-topgunn @tgmavericklover @jakeseresins @pegxcarter @mavswife [Do let me know if yall wanna be added or removed from my taglist!]

[Fic Notes: I’m a dumbass and made the Young Guns 20 somethings in the first fic so Jake is celebrating his 25th birthday in this one. While the MC has a name, this can be read a dark WoC!Reader fic]

So without further ado, I present Dress! Happy Reading - support and hype a girl by screaming to me about this in reblogged tags and comments thank you!! :D

Part 1 - Magic Jake Based on This Song | Playlist I Made For The Vibes

Our secret moments in your crowded room They've got no idea about me and you There is an indentation in the shape of you Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

It had been exactly 7 months since she had met Hangman in that fateful Go-Go bar on her birthday. Funnily enough, it was his birthday today. As she prepared for his surprise party with his friends at the Hard Deck, she replayed the last few months back in her mind. Of course, it always goes back to the first night they spent together. She smiled thinking of the first time they kissed at the back of the taxi. She had made the first move grabbing his collar and she was glad she did. It was everything she had hoped for. 

All the pent tension from the strip tease exploded in that single kiss. Sahara swore she felt fireworks going off at the back of her head. She remembered how his lips felt on hers. They were soft but he was nowhere gentle at all. Jake couldn't get enough of her. 

"Sahara, you good?" A voice broke through her thoughts. She looked up to see Coyote.  "Hm, yeah I'm fine. What's up?"  "You're looking a little red there." At the mention of her blushing, she turned even more red. God, she was embarrassing.  "I'm alright, just hot." She brushed it off casually and fanned herself to sell the ruse. Then she glanced at him curiously, "How else can I help?"  "We're pretty much done." He gestured to the Hard Deck being all decked out with birthday decorations. He then rubbed the back of his neck, kind of nervous for a moment. "I was actually wondering if you'd like to bring out the cake with me when Hangman walks in."  

She blinked at him in surprise. She figured he would do it since they were so close. She knew it was no big deal but also being the person who brings out the cake at these things was usually close to the birthday person. She had known him for less than a year. 

"Really, me?" "Yes, you." Coyote laughed heartily. She couldn't help but smile, he had the most contagious laugh. "I'm sure Hangman would want you to."  "Alright then, just let me know when." She smiled at him and then went back to finishing up putting up the last of the streamers. She did a round of the bar, greeting the other Young Guns and making sure everything was perfect. 

Just as she was about to go find Coyote, he found everyone. 

"YO everyone!! Rooster just texted, they're on their way."  He announced to the room as everyone took cover in their hiding spots. Coyote gestured to Sahara to follow and they both headed to the pantry to get his cake. 

She had a small smile as she entered the room. It was safe to say that over the last 7 months, Hangman and her had pretty much christened most of the Hard Deck with their late night quickies. It was probably their best kept secret from the crew. 

"I knew you'd like the cake." Coyote said excitedly when he caught her smile. She raised her eyebrows for a moment before looking down at the cake, her grin growing wider. It was perfect and she knew he was going to love it. The cake itself was the navy blue of his helmet and the words "Happy Birthday, Hangman!" read in mustard yellow. It was a nice touch for Coyote to incorporate the birthday boy's favourite colours. At the top was a fondant F-18 hanging by the cliff held on by a noose. 

"You designed this?" She asked.  "Yes, ma'am." "He's going to love it, Coyote!"  He smiled, proud of himself. He prided himself on knowing Hangman best. "Thank you, thank you. Glad I didn't let Phoenix order it for me." 

"The words would be reading 'Happy Birthday Bagman' right now." She giggled remembering how Jake hated being called Bagman by Phoenix. Then they heard voices outside. The two of them fell silent to listen to them. Sahara smiled, recognising Jake's voice and of course Rooster teasing him. Coyote had a small grin make its way to his face when he saw Sahara's face hearing Hangman's voice. If he was going to trust his best friend with anyone else, it would be her. 

~

Rooster really couldn't give Hangman a break, not even on his birthday. As Hangman was led to the Hard Deck, his frenemy kept pushing his buttons. 

Hangman had made the mistake of relaying his plans for his birthday and had a dreamy smile when he mentioned calling Sahara for a night in. Rooster poked him playfully,

“Calling Sahara now, are you?" He wore the same smirk Hangman wore most days. Jake wasn't sure if he liked being on the other side of it.  “What about it?” Hangman pressed his lips together and narrowed his eyes at his rival. Rooster couldn’t help but chuckle at how defensive he was getting already.  “Oh, come on. You really don’t see it? You like this girl.” Rooster pointed out. He was being a little shit by teasing Hangman who froze at the mention of liking her.  “What makes you say that?” He asked incredulously. He was Jake Seresin. He doesn’t like anyone. Sahara and him were just having fun and they both knew that. 

“You haven’t slept with anyone else in the last half a year.”  “How-” Hangman’s jaw dropped at his observation, “How the fuck do you know that?”  “We all know Hang. You’ve only ever been taking Sahara home every night. Not that we’re complaining. It’s nice to see you settle down.” Rooster was purposefully picking his words. He knew all the commitment buzzwords were going to set Hangman off. And it did. Jake liked Sahara enough but they were not settling down. Rooster was being ridiculous and getting on his nerves. Hangman clenched his jaw and glared at his frenemy.  “Settle down?? I am not. Fuck off, Bradshaw.” Hangman hissed as they walked into the dark and empty bar. He frowned at the scene. This was not the lively Friday night at the bar he was usually used to. 

“Where is everybody? Did Penny close up early?” He asked Rooster quizzically as the latter turned on the lights with a playful grin. Immediately, everyone jumped out of their places and yelled in perfect unison, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANGMAN!!” 

Hangman just about fell back in shock. He figured it would be a quiet birthday; a few birthday drinks between him and the crew, then having dinner with Coyote before calling up Sahara for a late night in. This was not at all what he was expecting. He was touched. All their friends had come together to celebrate him. Then to put the cherry on top, out came his two favourite people with the cake in hand leading the birthday song. Everyone in the bar rallied together to sing to him in their loudest voice. 

His eyes lit up as Sahara and Coyote brought the cake to him. It meant a lot that it was the two of them. Coyote let her hold the cake as he came around Hangman’s side to clap his back.  “WOOO Happy Birthday, pal!!” He yelled at the top of his lungs in a celebratory manner. Sahara held up the cake to him with the widest grin. “Make a wish, Jake.” 

When she said his name like that, he became undone. He kept it together and matched her grin. Closing his eyes, he made his wish. Though there wasn’t much to ask for. He already had the perfect birthday so far. Then he opened his eyes, looked deep into her eyes and blew out the candles. The whole room cheered. 

“Didn’t really need to wish for anything else now that you’re here, sugar.” He smirked flirtily at her. She just laughed as the blush dusted her cheeks pink. While she knew all of his flirty lines, every time he pulled them on her, her heart still raced. Being around him always feels like the first time they met. She set down the cake on the table and handed him the knife for him to cut into it. 

Jake wrapped his hand around hers as he took the knife from her. He shot her a wink before snaking his other arm around her waist. She smiled as he pulled her to his side and kissed her temple. He bumped Coyote by the shoulders affectionately. "Thanks so much for this, y'all." He said to everyone but really he was looking gratefully at Coyote and Sahara. They beamed back at him. His grin grew wider as he cut into the cake. 

As per tradition, he had to feed the person he loved the most. Everyone knew who it was. He faked feeding himself as everyone groaned and both Coyote and Sahara playfully punched his sides. 

"Okay okay, wow someone is touchy." He raised his hands defensively, teasing Coyote's pout. He then goes to feed his best friend before completely rubbing the piece of cake all over his face. Coyote yelled before grabbing the cream off the top of the cake and retaliating. Now they were both covered in chocolate. Their crew burst out laughing while Sahara shook her head at their shenanigans. She grabbed a couple of napkins to pass it to them when Jake came over to her with a sly grin. Immediately, she stepped back - knowing what was coming. 

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation My hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah) All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting My hands are shaking from holding back from all this (ha, ha, ha, ha)

“Jake Hangman Seresin, no. This is my best foundation, I will kill you if you mess it up.” She just kept going back until she hit a wall. His smirk just grew wider once she was trapped.  “Awe come on, sweetheart, a little kiss for the Birthday Boy.” He leaned towards her. His bright eyes shining with mischief as he placed his arm by her head boxing her into the corner. She rolled her eyes playfully at his tactic.  "You're ridiculous and you owe me, Birthday Boy." She chuckled. Then she brought her hand up to his neck, her fingers wrapping around the nape pulling him close to her. She closed the gap between them and kissed him. Instinctively, his other hand went to caress her cheek, his fingers laced within her hair seconds later.  

They both think they'll never get tired of kissing each other. He adored how she was always so gentle with him and her kisses. He loved how soft and warm her lips were against his. How she played and tugged at his hair at the nape of his neck to make him moan. At his moan, Sahara smiled against his lips, allowing him access. She relished in how he always kissed her like he couldn't get enough of her. Like he couldn't breathe and she was his lifeline. As he slipped his tongue past her lips, his arms slid down the curve of her body. They circled her waist and tugged her flush against him. She sighed into his mouth with pleasure before following his lead and pressed herself against him. 

At this point, Coyote was done giving out the cake to all the guests and he was confused to find the Birthday Boy and his partner in crime for the party missing. Their crew spotted him looking around and went up to him. Rooster was the first one to point them out in their little corner. 

"God, they're like teenagers on prom night." He snickered while Phoenix made a face.  "I think they're adorable." Fanboy said and Bob echoed the sentiment.  "Babe, you find all the couples adorable." Payback grinned at his boyfriend as he walked up to him and slung his arm around Fanboy's shoulder. "Roost, you're the cockblocker, mind interrupting them? I have their cake." Coyote held up the last two plates of his cake. One of them had the plane by its noose. He figured that's the piece Hangman would have wanted. 

While their friends were pushing each other towards the two of them, Hangman and Sahara were lost in their own world. The birthday boy in particular was annoyed by their clothes acting as a barrier. A playful smile formed on his face as an idea came to him. He started to slip his hands up the skirt of her dress and dragged his fingers higher up her thighs. He was extremely satisfied when it earned a gasp from Sahara. 

“Jake!” She whisper-shrieked against his lips. She pulled back from him. “It’s not as if we haven’t done it here, darlin’.” His damming smirk made its way to his face as his hand left her thighs to rest on her waist to keep her close. He used the thumb of his other hand to firmly wipe off the blue frosting that now coated her lips. He gave her a quick peck and grinned, "You taste delicious."  She just shook her head at him amused. Just as she was just about to suggest that they return to his party, Coyote came up to them. 

Coyote had his eyebrows furrowed slightly in annoyance. Not at them but the fact that the crew had physically pushed him towards them to interrupt. Coyote was just happy they stopped themselves. Unlike some people, he wasn’t a cockblock. He just held up their plates of cake with a smile. “We kept the last two pieces for you two.” 

Sahara cooed at him gratefully taking her plate. “Thank you, Coyote, that’s so sweet!” Then realising he had probably handed it all out on his own when she was supposed to help, she dipped her head apologetically. “Sorry I didn’t help.”  “It’s alright, Sahara.” Coyote waved her off casually while Hangman had a smug smile.  “It’s okay, sweetheart, you were busy with making birthday wishes come true. A noble cause, really.” Hangman nuzzled his face into the curve of her neck, pressing a soft kiss against her skin. 

His best friend couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how cheesy they were. “Whipped!” He coughed subtly. Immediately, Hangman’s head snapped up and he glared at Coyote.  “I am not!” He insisted. What the hell was up with everyone giving him shit about their relationship today? Coyote gave him a knowing look.  “Sure, Hang.” Coyote then passed the Birthday Boy his cake and walked back to the crew. 

Sahara nudged Jake by the shoulder to follow suit. He whined softly. “No, I want you.” “It’s your party, Jake.” She countered, already tugging him to their group of friends. Honestly, she was starting to feel bad for taking up his time. Not to mention his insistence of not being whipped rubbed her off the wrong way. It just confirmed to her that they were nothing more than fuck buddies. She pushed the thought of her mind. She knew exactly what she was getting into when they met. Jake Hangman Seresin was not the relationship type. They were just having fun. She was the one who had to cap her feelings and expectations. 

Jake sensed something was off but since she was putting on a smile and more than happy to be involved in the party, he let it go. He could always ask her later.

“Fineee.” He dragged out the word like a child then gave her a sweet look, “Anything for you, sweets.” He then tucked his hand around her waist into her back pocket as he followed her along to join their friends. 

He was admiring his cake while the crew was talking amongst each other. Coyote slid up next to him and Hangman grinned, gesturing to the cake.  “You did a great job, pal, I love it.” He complimented his best friend. Coyote smiled and clapped his hand on his back before giving him a side hug.  “I knew you would.” He said then watched as Hangman had a dreamy look watching Sahara. He nudged his best friend, “I hope I didn’t freak you out earlier. Don’t go all ‘Jake’ on her.”  Hangman snapped out of looking at her like a puppy and frowned at Coyote. “What are you on about, Coyote?”

Coyote rubbed his eyes tiredly. They both knew Hangman was the best and knew everything there is about planes and fighter jets. But this boy was DUMB when it came to his personal life. “Jake, I know you aren’t this stupid.”  Hangman was even more confused because Coyote never used his name, especially not after they broke up. “Javy, I honestly have no idea what you are talking about.” 

“Don’t freak out on her because you’re scared of committing. Not every one of your relationships is going to crash and burn like ours.” Coyote chuckled drily. The two of them were honestly good now but that didn’t mean they were immune from the heartache that followed the messy breakup of best friends turned romantic partners. It took them a while but they were closer than ever. Coyote saw firsthand how the fallout of that affected Hangman. He never really dated anyone after that. 

“We did not crash and burn.” Hangman scoffed while Coyote gave him a look. Jake didn’t like to admit it but their relationship was his one failure in life. He took it as a personal failure in a life where he was pretty much the best and perfect at everything. He conceded with a small shake of his head, “We’re fine now, aren’t we?” 

“Yes, which is why I’m telling you not to ruin whatever is going on with Sahara.”  “There’s nothing going on!” “Do you want something to?” Coyote was on a roll today. After all, no one else knew Hangman better and he wouldn’t want it any other way. He looked over at Sahara pensively. He could never tire of staring at her. The way her hair shined in the light, it was so soft and ethereal. He loved weaving his fingers through it. When she laughed - as she was doing so right now with the rest of the crew - it was like bells and it was so contagious. He realised it had slowly become his favourite sound in the world. He especially adored how her eyes light up when she laughed or was just happy that day. His heart raced as he watched how well she fit in with the crew. How well she had integrated into his life in the last 7 months. 

“I don’t know, man.” He sighed softly, unsure what to do with these feelings he had been suppressing for so long. 

~

A couple of feet away, Sahara was distracting herself from her feelings with the crew. They always made her laugh and that always put her in a better mood. They all went around sharing their favourite less-than-perfect Hangman moments. She loved hanging out with them. They had the best stories about Jake for her and were always welcoming of her. 

Payback was animatedly describing the time Mav had shot down Hangman after he had tried to pull the usual shit where he left Phoenix and Bob hanging and was being an asshole in the sky. Sahara was pretty surprised to hear of this. She knew he could be cocky and too sarcastic for his own good but she didn’t realise how competitive he got in the sky. 

“And my favourite part was when he got Phoenix and Bob killed and then had the audacity to ask them for help and Phoenix drops the most badass line:" Fanboy finished his boyfriend's story and pointed to Phoenix to say her line. "I'm dead, dickhead." She delivered it perfectly. Sahara couldn't help but laugh out loud. Instinctively, she turned to look at Jake who seemed to be deep in conversation with Coyote. Her eyebrows dipped ever so slightly at how intense Jake seemed to be. Moments later, she turned back to the crew, not wanting to disturb him. 

Phoenix caught on to her look and nudged her with a knowing grin.  "You know you should just tell him."  Sahara blinked at her friend and raised her eyebrow ever so slightly. "I don't know what you mean." She decided to play dumb. The last thing she needed was for Jake to overhear them and freak out. The rest of them overheard and started to laugh in unison. Now she was even more confused. Rooster raised a beer at her.  “The two of you seriously need to make it official, already.”  “Hey, you’re not allowed to interfere with them!” Payback said sternly as the rest of them exchanged looks. She felt extremely out of the loop and narrowed her eyes at them suspiciously. 

“What do you mean he’s ‘not allowed to interfere’ with us?” She pointedly asked Payback. Everyone started to look guilty and no one said a word. It took a moment but it clicked. “You guys bet on us?!” It was the kind of frustration that was so calm, the crew knew they were in trouble. They all hung their heads low like children being reprimanded. She sighed softly, not wanting to make them feel bad. 

“I’m sorry.” came the chorus of apologies and she just shook her head, now more amused by how in sync they all were.  “It’s fine.” She shook it off, “I should have known. Now tell me, what are your timelines?” She rested her elbow against the table and leaned into the crew, genuinely interested to hear their theories. 

Rooster - 7 months and proclaimed he could get them together. Which is why he was being so pushy today.  Phoenix - Never. She didn’t have any faith in Hangman changing his ways  Payback - 5 years  Fanboy - 10 years Coyote - 7 months without interfering  Bob - In their own time 

Sahara smiled at Bob’s sweet answer, “That’s really thoughtful, Bob.” “It’s a cop out.” Payback teased him while the rest of them smacked him lightly on the chest. Then Sahara grabbed her wallet and took out a couple of ten-dollar bills, handing them over to Payback. He glanced at her curiously, waiting for an explanation. “I’m with Phoenix. He’s not the committing type.” It was hard for the crew to see her so resigned. They all rallied around her to comfort her.  “You guys it’s fine. I like him as he is. I know what I signed up for.” She told them reassuringly. Still, they weren’t fans of how it was making her feel. 

“Hey, if it makes you feel better, he’s only been taking you home the last few months. That’s gotta count for something right.” Payback supplied while his boyfriend continued, “He could like you too!” Fanboy’s optimism never failed to cheer her up. They all cheered with their drinks as a smile came back onto her face. 

The comforting and cheering didn’t go unnoticed by Hangman. Their fanfare was loud enough to drag him over to see what the fuss was about. He wrapped up his conversation with Coyote and they went to investigate. He came up behind Sahara and wrapped his arms around her, his chin resting on her shoulder with his cheek pressed against hers.

“What’s all this celebration without the Birthday Boy!” He playfully frowned at them. 

Sahara relished in his warm embrace. She never pegged him for the affectionate type but lately he had been so cuddly with her. She thought back to the last couple of months. It's how he would want to spend time with her outside of their hookups. Sometimes they'd grab dinner at The Hard Deck and he would play with her hair while he told her about his day over drinks. It was endearing to see him go from pulling at her hair in private to gently twirling them between his fingers at dinner. Every time he played pool and she was leaning against the empty table across from his, without fail, he would find a way to drag his fingers along her waist when he brushed past her. It always tickled and she would tell him to stop. He would just wink and smirk, "You're my lucky charm, sugar." 

It was just these little things that added up. The one memory that stuck out to her was a couple weeks ago. 

~

It was one of those lazy off days and the crew decided to have a rematch of their beach game. Sahara sat on a lounging chair with his spare aviators she had stolen from him, watching them run around shirtless. It was an eye candy fest and she definitely wasn't immune. After a couple of quarters, the game ended and everyone jogged to the benches to grab their things. 

Jake made his way right to Sahara with a wide grin. 

"Couldn't stay away from me, could you, sweetheart?" His devilish smirk made its way onto his face. She shook her head, amused. That was Jake-speak for 'You came!' "Of course, I came. You asked me to." She teased him and he gave her a flat look. He then dropped to her lap and without realising, laced his fingers with hers.  "Shhh," He pressed his index tenderly against her lips, "I have a reputation to uphold you know." He couldn't help but admire how soft her hands were and started to play with them absentmindedly. It was one of the rare times he was holding her hand and they both decided right there and then, it was their favourite thing to do. 

And of course, just on cue Rooster interrupted them. He looked down at their interlaced hands then back at Hangman as if he couldn’t believe it. Jake noticed the looks and stared him down. “What are you looking at, Bradshaw?” “Nothing, you guys are cute.” Rooster had a knowing grin as he gestured to their hands. On instinct, Jake pulled away. Rooster headed to the rest of the team, chuckling to himself. Sahara frowned at the interaction. She never did understand their odd tense rivalry-friendship dynamic they had going on. How easy it was for them to get under each other’s skins so easily. 

“You know you don’t always have to let him get to you.” She said gently, grabbing his hand again. “And I think we’re very cute.” She leaned in and softly brushed her lips against his. After that day on the beach, Jake felt more reassured being touchy with her. She certainly wasn’t complaining, it was a nice change. 

~

Coming back to the present, she kept a small smile for him while she looked at the rest of them to keep their latest discussion under wraps. She didn’t want to scare him off. She knew deep down if they confronted him with feelings, he would run off without a second thought. Her hands shook ever so slightly, hesitating. Then realised she was being ridiculous. Him being stuck to her like an octopus was a sign he was fine with her being touchy. Finally, she wrapped her arms around his. 

"They were just telling me how you left them hanging in the sky and how Phoenix told you off." She relayed the story she was told earlier. He huffed at his classmate.  "You always take the opportunity to put me down with my dates, don't you Phoenix?" He narrowed his eyes.  "You do that all by yourself." Both Phoenix and Sahara spoke at the same time. They chuckled before high-fiving. He reluctantly removed his arm from her waist to swat away the high five.  "You're supposed to be on my side!" He poked her side, making her chuckle.  “I am on your side." She turned her head to kiss his cheek and he cheekily turned his head to kiss her lips. Before it could turn into another make out, Rooster decided to be a little shit and coughed teasingly. "Get a room!"  He was loud enough for everyone to hear. 

Sahara blushed at the comment while Hangman rolled his eyes. He detached himself from her for a moment to hold her hand and started to walk away. 

"Well don't mind if we do." He said so matter of factly, it didn't even register what was happening to Sahara until she was being dragged away to the exit. She just smiled at everyone, waving and calling out goodbyes as they left the bar. 

Say my name and everything just stops I don't want you like a best friend Only bought this dress so you could take it off Take it off (ha, ha, ha)

Carve your name into my bedpost 'Cause I don't want you like a best friend Only bought this dress so you could take it off Take it off (ha, ha, ha, ha)

The moment he had parked the car, he made a beeline for her lips. He couldn't keep his hands off her. He went from caressing her face to roaming his hands all over her body and finally holding her waist to pull her over to his lap. She squealed in surprise into his mouth as he did that. It gave him access to slip his tongue in. He moaned in pure ecstasy when she pulled his hair in response. He had been waiting hours for this. Sure, the party was fun but really all he had wanted to do that day was stay in with Sahara. He could somewhat admit it to himself now. He hadn’t fucked anyone else in the last 6 months. He liked her. She was his happy place. There was no where he felt more safe than in her arms. Though usually, he had her arms pinned above her head. 

They started making their way back to his apartment, their lips still connected. As they reached his door, he turned her around and kept kissing her while he had his back to the door to unlock it. By some miracle, he managed to open it and dragged her in. She kicked the door closed with a back kick and moaned into his mouth as he nibbled at her bottom lip. Her hands started to roam under his shirt while his fingers were tangled in her hair. He started to guide her towards the bed as if they hadn’t done this every other night for the last few months. She giggled against his lips as he pulled her down with him as he fell onto the bed. They broke apart for a moment as she landed on his chest. 

"Hi." She said, looking up at him and her eyes were shining. There she was. He sat up and tugged her over to his lap, making her straddle him. He reached out and tucked her hair back gently.  "Hi." He echoed as brought his hand down to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing her jaw. "Are you feeling better now?" 

She frowned slightly as she got comfortable loosely wrapping her legs around his waist. "What do you mean?" "You had on a fake smile for half the night." He ran his thumb over her lips. She didn’t realise how well he knew her, it came as a pleasant surprise. She quirked an eyebrow, "So you know all my smiles now, do you Hangman?" She teased him, not quite answering the question. Now it was his turn to frown, deeply. He didn't realise when or how it had changed but he didn't like being called Hangman by her. 

"First of all, who's Hangman? I'm Jake to you, darlin'. Second, of course I know all your smiles. I know you, Sahara." 

Everything seemed to stop when he called her by her name. She stiffened ever so slightly at her name. Now, that was a first. It surprised her. He never called her that. It was always a cheesy pet name. She always assumed it's so he wouldn't get her and the other girls' names mixed up. Tonight felt different. It was the way he said it too. Soft and gentle. Like an intimate secret between the two. She started to heat up, blush creeping up her cheeks - loving the way her name rolled off his tongue. She buried her face into his neck, desperately trying to hide her shock and the effect it had on her. She started to trail kisses from the column of his throat, slowly making her way up his jaw. Hopefully it was distracting enough to keep the questions off her. 

"I know you too, Jake. You seemed upset with Coyote." She mumbled in between kisses. Jake groaned, unable to concentrate on anything but her lips on him. She grinned at how well it worked. She finally found her way to his lips and gave him a deep kiss before brushing his hair back gently. "What were the two of you brooding about?"   "It was nothing." He waved her off, letting out an impatient huff when she pulled away. Immediately, he remedied that by bringing her face back to him. She giggled at his eagerness.  "Fine, pillow talk later." She obliged him, threading her fingers through his hair and kissing him. The birthday pilot smiled contently. He reached behind her to unzip her dress carefully. 

She frowned ever so slightly.  "You always rip my dresses off, what gives?"  "Isn't this your favourite dress?"  "No, it's similar because I know you liked it so much when we first met but you ripped it." She tried to look annoyed but honestly, him ruining that dress was the hottest thing he'd ever done. Favouritism be damned. She then leaned down to his ear, her breath fanning against the shell of it, "So I bought another one for today, just so you could take it off." 

He almost came in his pants right there at her seductive tone. He grinned and gave her an excited look, 'This, just for me?' She nodded to confirm and he gleefully tore it off before dragging her down under the sheets with him.

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try And if I get burned, at least we were electrified I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about

She couldn’t help but beam up at him after they were done. There was something different about tonight. They could both feel it. It didn’t feel so disconnected and everything felt so much more magnified. Their emotions were running high and intense. If her crescent nail marks on his bedpost were anything to go by. It felt like they put everything on the line. She turned to his nightstand and opened up the drawer where she kept warm towelettes for them to clean up. She passed him a roll while she undid hers to clean herself up. Before she could bring it down, Jake pressed his towel against her. “Here, let me. Just relax.” He had her rest against the pillows. He worked his way down her thighs and started wiping down the mess they made. God, what a beautiful mess it was. 

She was moved by the gesture. Usually he would just clean himself up, they’d get a glass of water separately and she’d head home. Tonight really was a first for many things. She then took her towel and started to clean him up. Just as she wiped him down gently, Jake shot her a dangerous look, “Careful now, we wouldn’t want to start Round 3.” 

She rolled her eyes at how horny he always seemed to be. “Oh hush and let me do this for you.” She continued, taking as much care as she usually does with everything she does. Now it was his turn to lie back down and watch her intently. There was an intimacy to their ritual tonight that wasn’t there before. Jake can’t say he didn’t enjoy it. 

Once they were done, like clockwork, Sahara went to get them glasses of water. He didn’t know what came over him but he had the idea to run a bath for them. He grabbed his favourite bath bombs from his Lush drawer and headed to the bathroom. He drew the bath and picked out the galaxy bath bomb, dropping it in. He then heard Sahara’s melodic voice break through the room. “Jake, where did you go?”  “In here, sweetheart!” He called out to her and poked his head out with a delicious smile. He then gestured for her to come in. 

She raised an eyebrow at him being in the bathroom. She didn’t know why he needed her there when he was probably peeing but he’s the birthday boy, she was going to indulge him. She gingerly stepped into the bathroom and gaped at the sight before her. Her eyes immediately glowed with warm affection. The bubbles glowed in the dim light and he was already submerged in the tub, looking so deliciously inviting. 

“Isn’t it your birthday? I’m supposed to be pulling out all the stops. You’re making me look bad, Hangman.” She teased as she walked over to the edge of the tub. He glared at the use of his callsign.  “Jake.” He practically growled, correcting her. “I love how that always gets you hot and bothered.” She stuck her tongue out at him. His glare and annoyance disappeared quickly at her teasing. God, he loved her. He really did. He felt it earlier in bed. They went to another plane of existence when riding their highs.  “You want to see hot and bothered, Sahara darlin’?” His usual mischievous grin replaced his gloomy pout from moments ago. She knew that look. It had gotten her into trouble before. Before she could react, he pulled her into the bathtub. 

“JAKE!” She screamed as she fell into the tub with a splash. He was laughing at her all wet.  “All wet and screaming all for me, just the way I like it.” He smirked as she came up for air. She just rolled her eyes and splashed him. “That was FOUL, Hangman.”  “Call me that again.” He threatened, his tone light as he grabbed her waist and pulled her against his chest. Without prompting, she curled her arms around his neck.  “What are you going to do about it?” She taunted him. Her legs were already locking his in between her thighs. She was rubbing against his length. Out of habit, he gripped her thighs as he gasped. She hummed in satisfaction at the sound. 

“When - when did you get so good at teasing?” He could barely get the words out.  “Learnt from the best.” She sent him a smirk to rival his. He had created a monster and he adored her. She closed the gap between them and kissed him passionately. She had her fingers laced through his soft hair, her other hand stroking the nape of his neck and bit on his bottom lip just the way he liked it. He moaned with pleasure into her mouth, allowing her tongue to slip in as she deepened the kiss. 

It was all heightened tonight between them. They could have sworn electricity passed through them in that kiss. Sahara put everything on the line. She wanted him to know how she felt without saying it. That she felt the same and he shouldn’t be scared to tell her. 

He was feeling all of it. His body worked to catch up with the intensity of the moment. His arms around her waist tightened, bringing her close to him until there wasn't an atom between them. His hands roamed her back before making his way to her soft and silky hair. He couldn't quite explain it but he could feel her emotions. He definitely got the message. He never realised how in tune with each other they had become until this moment. It was bound to happen. He was bringing her home basically every night. 

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation My hands are shaking from holding back from you (ah, ah, ah) All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting My hands are shaking from holding back from all this (ha, ha, ha, ha)

Say my name and everything just stops I don't want you like a best friend Only bought this dress so you could take it off Take it off (ha, ha, ha) Carve your name into my bedpost 'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

They came up for air a few minutes later, reluctantly pulling away from each other. Their arms were comfortably around the other, still connecting them. They didn't know what to say. The kiss had quite literally taken their breath away. 

They can't remember which one of them leaned in first but soon enough their foreheads were resting against the other's. They just sat there in silence for a few minutes, just taking in each other and thinking how they ended up here. 

Sahara knew she couldn't do this anymore. She was in too deep with her feelings. Never mind if Jake potentially felt the same. If he couldn't say it soon, she can't just stay wasting her time waiting. She was only going to get hurt. She had to tell him. Her hands were trembling again. How much she desperately pinned for this man was ridiculous. He didn't even feel the same way! She parted her lips to tell him. To finally let him go. She was even going to use the godawful line, 'We still can be friends. You've become my best friend in the last few months.' But she didn't want that. She didn't want to be his stupid fucking friend. 

Then he said the one thing she never expected to fall from his lips. 

"Sahara," He said with such care and tenderness as he deliberated his next words. Her world finally felt like it stopped spinning. It was powerful how he grounded her so easily with her name. 

"I love you." 

Flashback when you met me Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me Flashback to my mistakes My rebounds, my earthquakes Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth of me

Jake Seresin never really believed in love. At least not for himself. Some people just weren't meant for the white picket fence life. He knew that early on in his life. He was always meant to be in the sky. He bore all the risks. That's why it was so easy being with Javy. They were both in the same field, they were best friends and understood each other and their life. Then Jake just had to go fuck that up. He couldn't handle the commitment. Javy eventually wanted to settle down. He wasn't ready. 

Now he knew better. Javy was his first love. Sahara? She was his forever. 

The last few months that had been building up to this even if he didn't know it. His love for her creeped up on him when he least expected it. He should have known. He should have realised when he went from just admiring her physicality, he found himself enamoured by the little things. 

How she lit up whenever she talked about the things she loved and her day, the way her nose scrunched when she was annoyed with something or allergy season was starting to kick in. It's the way she knew him better than anyone else, anticipating his moods, wants and needs. How he could do the exact same for her. She saw past all the bells and whistles of being Hangman. She found Jake and loved him unconditionally. It's how they saw each other beyond their reputations when no one else did. 

He loved her. It all came down to this moment and he had to tell her. He edged back ever so slightly to get her reaction. He hoped she felt the same but knew better than to expect it. 

I love you. The words were echoing through her mind. She couldn't believe he actually said it. She simply stared back at him, gaping at him ever so slightly.

"You know a picture lasts longer." Jake couldn't handle the serious silence and just had to break the tension. She splashed at him.  "Don't ruin it! Give me a moment." She sounded exasperated but really pleased at the confession. His hands cupped her jaw and caressed it gently.  "I really do mean it, Sahara. I think I might have loved you from that first lap dance." He winked playfully and she rolled her eyes at his flirting.

She thought back to all those moments she could feel something between them but never entertained. All because he just wasn't the commitment guy. He was never one for words either way. It was the way he always put her first and was there for her. Be it him always ordering her favourite drink first, or saving her a seat. Somehow, always managing to find her in a crowded room. He was always there to lend a listening ear and be there for her. She had never felt more in tune and in love with anyone else. 

This was one of the rare times he couldn't read her. Only because he was so nervous about her reaction, it was clouding his usually clear judgement. At her deep-in-thought expression, he was quick to reassure her with a soft nudge,  "You don't have to say it back if you're not ready. I just wanted you to know." 

The quiet seriousness of his tone broke her heart. She could tell how scared he was. The way the sea foam eyes she loved so much were searching hers for any indication she felt the same. For some semblance of why being vulnerable was worth it. Her arms hanging loosely from his neck left to snake up his arms. Her hands tenderly held his wrists as her thumbs ran over the back of his hands soothing him. 

"Of course, I love you too. Maybe not from the first lap dance," She chuckled softly as she rested her forehead against his, "but I adore you, Jake Seresin. I can barely remember life without you. I don't think I've ever met anyone who sees and cares for me the way you do. You, yourself sir, are a wonder and I'm lucky to love you. She carded her fingers through his hair. 

His smile was wide enough to split his face in half. Scooping her up in his arms, he started to pepper kisses all over her face. In between breathless kisses, he whispered to her, "Say it again." 

"I love you, Jake." She giggled against his lips.  "I love you too, Sahara." They enjoyed the rest of their bath, giggling away at their new found relationship status. 

And I woke up just in time Now I wake up by your side My one and only, my lifeline I woke up just in time Now I wake up by your side

That night was the best sleep either of them had gotten in months. They were where they belonged: wrapped up in each other. Jake had his arms securely wrapped around Sahara - one holding her waist while the other resting across her chest, his hand lazily cupping her boob. She had her head tucked perfectly under his chin and their legs were comfortably tangled together. 

Jake was the first to wake up, he happily hummed in a soft tone so as not to wake his girlfriend up. He grinned at the title that popped into his head. His girlfriend. He liked that a little too much for someone who spent his adult life running from relationship labels. He hugged her gently, making sure she was real and wouldn't disappear anytime soon. His hand moved from her boob to brush her hair from her face. He was content to watch her till she woke up. 

Soon, she started to stir ever so slightly and feeling his gaze on her, she decided to tease him. Her eyes were still closed as she spoke in a sleepy tone that Jake found just absolutely adorable. "It's a little hard to sleep with you staring, creep."  His smile widened and flirted, “Well I’m a little hard staring at you, sweets.” He pressed his length against her to show off. She couldn’t help but laugh at his cheesy joke. She turned around to face him, her legs wrapping around his waist and her arms around his neck in their favourite position. 

“It’s 9am, Jake, too early for this.” She rested her forehead against his, breathing him in for a moment before leaning down to kiss him. He kissed her back hungrily, causing her to grip his shoulders and moan. As they held on close to each other, they couldn’t help but feel extremely lucky. 

Neither of them ever thought they’d end up here.

Jake with his emotional baggage and not so stellar reputation as a team player. He was also never one to commit. He never saw himself settling down, until her. Now he could picture a whole future. 

Sahara had her fair share of long term partners and they were all lovely but this moment right here was perfect. No one understood her like he did. He knew every one of her idiocracies, he knew how to set her entire body on fire with a single touch and she knew him just as well. No one had ever come close to the way she felt about him.  

"I love you." She said softly as they pulled away for air. He gripped her tighter, never wanting to let go. 

"I love you too." 

There is an indentation In the shape of you Only bought this dress so you could take it off You made your mark on me, golden tattoo Only bought this dress so you could take it off

#Top Gun #Top Gun Maverick #Jake Hangman Seresin #Glen Powell #Jake Hangman Seresin x Reader #Jake Seresin #Hangman #Hangman x Reader #Top Gun Fanfiction #Sanji Writes

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney

#hehe idk how to tag this #ive spent SO long on this post im so glad its done #follow forever #eden.txt

[feathered-serpents]

Tagged by @crit20lesbian (thank you!!) 

1- why did you choose your URL?

When this blog started I was really into Good Omens (still am! just quieter about it but that’ll change as we get closer to season 2) so I wanted a URL that referenced Good Omens but was also neutral enough that I could switch fandoms without it being weird. “Feathered-serpents” is meant to be referring to the angels and snakes in Good Omens but also the feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl because I’m a mythology slut. I love this deity so much and he’s ALWAYS made to be a monster in Western media when he’s!! A god of art, wind, and knowledge!! And created humanity!! He’s so cool Aztec mythos is SO COOL 

2- Any side blogs?

Not really. I used to have a Flight Rising side blog but it’s been abandoned for awhile. Been thinking about making a Dragon Age sideblog but I basically just use Twitter for that so this is what we get 

3- How long have you been on Tumblr?

10 years. Since I was 13. Technically 11 if you count when I made a blog in 2010 but didn’t know how to use tumblr since it’s not user friendly and just let it sit there for a year until I figured it out. 

It’s certainly done something to my development. Dunno what. But something 

4- Do you have a queue tag?

No. Everything you get is live 

5- Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I’ve had a series of blogs over the years, leaving older ones by either switching fandoms after I’d built too much of a niche in one to change my whole blog or by deleting the accounts cause I was swearing off tumblr and we can all see how that worked out. This one is my fifth main blog and I made it cause the fourth one got shadowbanned for no reason! Yay! 

6- Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

There’s this amazing comic by the artist @hollow-head of Aziraphale and Crowley’s drunken debate from the book and it contained a panel with Aziraphale in a little rocket ship as Crowley explained interstellar bird travel. I thought it was cute and asked if I could use it and they said yes and even sent me a version with a white background. I love it and I’m never changing it 

7- Why did you choose your header?

I really like the book Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman it’s DEEPLY weird and I’m still waiting for an adaptation. There’s an illustrated version which is beautiful and my header is the scene where the main character first enters the Underground world. I thought it was cool! 

8- What’s your post with the most notes?

The fucking. Stupid female aliens post I made in a rage after hearing that female aliens were barely included in the game Mass Effect because the artists “Didn’t know what that would look like” 

Like five seconds after I made this some dude reblogged it with “takes more than a voice and pronoun change but aight” after calling me a “puritan who hates women” on a separate post for expressing my approval of a scene in that same game being changed where a woman is confiding in you about her tormented childhood while the camera is just. Glued to her ass for no reason 

(he also reblogged and disagreed with me on like. many Mass Effect posts. It was deeply strange. I did not know him. He’s blocked now) 

9- How many mutuals do you have? Not sure but quite a few! I’d say about half the people I follow are mutuals as I tend to follow people I see in my notes a lot 

10- How many followers do you have?

1,577 but the number tends to go up and down constantly and also a good amount are probably porn bots 

11-How many people do you follow?

279! 

12- Have you ever made a shit post?

That’s all I do here 

13- How often do you use Tumblr each day?

That’s between me and god 

14- Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Not really. If someone is annoying me or if they just post too much content I don’t like I’ll just block them. Usually it’s not even because I think they’re a bad person I just don’t wanna see their Eliasfucking posts in the TMA tag I’m sorry it’s too much* 

*(that’s an example i’m not referring to anyone specific) 

15- How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Usually avoid unless I think it’s very important 

16- Do you like tag games?

Yes but I will usually forget to do them unless I do it RIGHT AWAY (like this one) 

17- Do you like ask games?

Also yes but I tend to forget to respond to those too. I will do the WWDITS/TMA prompts you all sent I will do them I just get overwhelmed by things I enjoy 

18- Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

We’re all in pretty niche corners so I don’t think any of us are “famous” but I am mutuals with some really cool artists. That’s fun! 

19- Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Platonically <3

Oh god now I have to tag people uhhhhhhh @alexiley​, @dudeiwannasleep​, @annabelle--cane​, @ghostbustermelanieking​, is that enough? that feels like enough (no pressure!!) 

#personal #tag game

[knitting-with-norbert]

Four SMP Factions Complete

First of all, can we just appreciate how many fucking blanket squares I’ve completed now? They barely fit into a photo together and I’m very proud of myself because they look pretty cool

Anyway! I’ve been hard at work trying to knit up some of the faction flags or faction indicators for my Dream SMP-inspired blanket! 

I should first say that three of these designs are not mine, I just adapted them into knitted form based off of their flag designs. However because Tumblr is weird about how tagging when you put a link in posts, I’m not going to link to their socials, but you should 100% check them out!

Before we jump into it, though, I just wanna say something to you guys - while I really appreciate the likes on these posts and it’s so, so lovely to see my work being found and appreciated, but I would like to ask you guys a favour if possible! Would you be able to perhaps reblog this or check out the full post on my blog (link in bio to not mess up Tumblr tags) or to check out my twitter (bio again) and help me spread the words over there a little

Basically, any vouch that you guys can give me if you like my stuff is so, so appreciated and, yeah, would mean the world to me!

Anyway, lets get into it!

As you can see I got four faction symbols completed! The flags of the Eggpire, Las Nevadas and Kinoko Kingdom and then my own design to represent The Syndicate

the original Eggpire flag was designed by Nikiforosisgone! There’s not a close up photo with the faction members because I haven’t yet done the squares for the individual faction members for the Eggpire - but this is a cry for help. Please send me ideas for Bad (and any of the others, really, aide from Ponk) because I’m completely stumped as to what to design for his square!

Any and all suggestions will be so very appreciated!

The original design for the Kinoko Kingdom flag was created by estchiyu on twitter!

I think that the flag came out looking pretty good! It looks better in person actually, because I was taking these photos after, like, three hours sleep so I wasn’t really functioning properly to be honest with y’all. But what’s also pretty exciting is that I’ve done the first drafts of almost all of Kinoko Kingdom now! Just Drista to go and then all four residents will have their squares completed for the first time

(of course I’m gonna have to go back and improve them all afterwards, but that’s pretty cool, right?)

And I also have plans for what I’m going to do for Drista, which is even more exciting!!!

The Las Nevdas flag design was originally made by Fundy on his stream a couple of months back

Out of the four pieces I made this time around, this is probably the one that I’m the least keen on - I made some mistakes when writing up the pattern and so it has meant that I somehow fucked up and the emblem isn’t centred, so I’m gonna have to start from scratch I think to figure out where I went wrong there

But I think the colours and shades I used are pretty spot on - I just need to figure out the gauge for the white wool because it doesn’t seem to be right, if you get me? 

But this is gonna be another quick cry for help: I’m pretty stumped as to what to do for the designs for Slimesicle and Fundy (I don’t want to just do a fox, you know?) so if you have any ideas as to what I can do to represent their characters please let me know! 

This design for the Syndicate is actually made up by me - it’s not a flag, of course. But I needed something to represent their faction as a whole, so I settled on this

There’s a lot more details about this design in my full blog post (link to my site in my bio if you’re interested!) so I’ll skim over some of the more important parts

I knew I had to include the end portal/table somehow, it was just a matter of doing the table as a whole or using the design for the blocks as a border - I’m gonna be playing around with this design a lot more in the future and I think it’ll probably end up with me using the portal design as a border for the design

Then I couldn’t decide what to do on either side of the table - I wanted to do little icons for every member or the initial of their codename, but then wasn’t happy with how they came out looking and so eventually settled on the firework rockets, but they’re much more of a placeholder than anything else

Regardless, I do think that it came out looking pretty cool, considering that when I started I had basically no idea what I wanted it to look like!

I also need help for Niki and Ranboo’s individual squares, so if you have ideas... send ‘em in!

If you are interested in checking out the full post which goes into a lot more details about all the squares and also the blanket plans in general then there’s a link to my website/blog in my bio! As I already said, my social links are also up there and any support you can offer me either on this platform, on my twitter or my instagram is so, so appreciated!

Freddie 🐸

#dream smp #dream smp fanart #las nevadas #las nevadas fanart #the syndicate #the syndicate fanart #the syndicate smp #the eggpire #the egg dream smp #the eggpire fanart #kinoko kingdom #Kinoko Kingdom fanart #technoblade #technoblade fanart #dream team fanart #quackity #quackity fanart #badboyhalo #badboyhalo fanart

[nikkoliferous]

Phase One: Thor

Since I was looking up my past live-blog of the novel and realising how annoying and repetitive reading through it all is because of my having structured it as a bunch of reblogs, I’ve decided to organize it all into one long-ass post instead. In case anyone else wants to read it in the future. Or in case I decide to re-read it. Because I’m hilarious. 😅

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO

My Hilarious Yet Wrathful Overview Of Phase One: Thor, Redux

—

If your son who’s to become king requires a babysitter to not screw it all up and also the idea of him being king is stressful enough to put you into a coma, maybe, uh… reconsider doing that? Just a thought.

But you see here why Odin was so deadset on Thor becoming king, despite him being ill-suited for the role. It’s not about what’s best for Asgard; it’s about personal legacy. Thor is Odin’s mini me, and Loki is very much not. There are places within the text where Odin laments Thor “lacking his father’s wisdom” (he’s definitely inherited your humility, though, Odin!), but he hopes for Thor to grow into a “wise king” like himself. Whereas he holds no such illusions (lol, pun) that Loki will ever take after him.

now with tag commentary! #this scene is in the script and both novelizations #(though in reading this novel seems to just be a more complete version of the junior novel? #idk i'm confused because they're supposedly written by different authors but so far the text is identical) #and it drives me insane each time i read it

“Haha, I’m a warmongering piece of shit, isn’t it funny?”

I know, I know. I try to cut Asgard some slack for being such a militaristic culture because social changes happen slowly and when you live for thousands of years per generation, it makes sense that your views on things like war would be regressive. The text says Odin has ruled Asgard for tens of thousands of years (so much for taking Loki’s “give or take 5,000 years” line literally; sure, the Odinsleep would have extended Odin’s lifespan, but by that much? Idk).

Still, fuck Odin. Especially since he’ll eventually try to shame Loki for doing the same thing he’s fucking boasting about here. And on a much smaller scale too.

…is it, though?

I actually think Loki’s relationship with being the centre of attention is really interesting in its complexity and we don’t discuss it enough. I’ve said this before, but he strikes me as the sort of person who craves attention but also wouldn’t really know what to do with it if he had it. He craves it as a result of neglect, because he’s never been shown recognition or validation. This is why he seems to revel in it in Stuttgart, even in (or maybe especially in?) his brainwashed state. But he also frequently comes across as pretty introverted and has horrible self-esteem, so I think on another level, sustained, genuine attention would make him feel kind of uncomfortable. Loki seems to believe that in order to be loved or respected, he has to literally be Thor, though. And Thor has always been the centre of attention, so for Loki, attention is synonymous with respect.

I find Loki’s relationship with wanting attention especially fascinating because I too both crave and fear it. As a borderline, I need it. When no one is paying attention to me, I lose my sense of identity. I feel as though I literally cease to exist. It’s excruciatingly painful. And yet, I have no authentic sense of self; I’m just a chameleon, and the closer people get to me, the more likely it is they’ll see behind my mask. They’ll realise it’s all a show and that I’m actually no one. And then they’ll leave. I can’t help wondering if that’s how Loki feels sometimes too.

Wait, what? You mean goat. His horns are shaped like a goat’s. This is a ram: 

This is a goat:

This is Loki:

Do you see now? They’re like a goat. Not a ram. Not a cow. A GOAT.

This book was written before Ragnarok was a thing, so it may be unfair to connect the two, but it still seems worth noting that it was Thor who reduced Loki to being no more than a trickster to begin with. “You could be more,” my ass. Loki’s problem has never been that he was one-dimensional; it was always that the people in his life, including Thor, refused to see any other dimensions to him. Which makes those words particularly cruel—as if they aren’t cruel enough already, what with the physical torture and all. 

Always happy to have cause to point out that

Loki was on Thor clean-up duty their whole lives; he certainly was not trying to kill Thor.

People like to point to Loki’s attempted genocide of the Jötnar and attempted(-ish? lol) conquest of Earth as proof that he’s some kind of violent maniac. But in a little place I like to call reality, Loki was historically far less aggressive and bloodthirsty than his peers.

Question: why is one conqueror evil and the other is righteously entitled to ruling over the Nine Realms?

Asgardian exceptionalism FTW

I can’t even begin to imagine what would lead you to expect such a thing, Odin. 😂

Uh, ‘cause it is?? And also their planet is MELTING without it??

This is all only within the first two chapters, btw. Lmao

—

—

—

“Looking for answers,” my foot.

YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU??

#i mean unless you knew heimdall #he only commits treason on days that end in y

—

—

What’d I say? Thor clean-up dutyyyyy 

Just wanna remind everyone that this 

is why he’s smiling during this scene 

because it makes me laugh every time. 😂 

—

My heart breaks every time I remember that second excerpt because literally ALL OF IT happened to him when he survived falling through the wormhole. My poor boy. 😭

But also of note… Loki gets cold (and also does not like being cold). This interests me because 1) as many are aware, the prevalent headcanon that Loki has a low body temperature irritates me and 2) it possibly(?) lends weight to the theory that he may not be fully Jötun, whether by virtue of his birth or Odin’s spell.

Haha, look at this Feminist Icon™ trying to take credit for his female friend’s accomplishments! Truly inspiring. 

#for some reason the ragnarok lovers have somehow decided that thor is both a feminist and lesbian icon #whatever that means 🤷‍♀️ #and i'm still trying very hard to figure out why #is it literally just because he *says* he respects women or whatever in that dumb rambly conversation with valkyrie?

Ooh… you were so close to getting the point, Volstagg. So close. Take your tongue off Odin’s boot for just a couple minutes longer.

Also, the author just forgot the name of the Casket. How did this book get published? 😂

JUST LOOKING FOR ANSWERS, HUH?

Because fuck Loki, amirite? He, uh… he’s a prince too, you know.

Also… Fandral, you dweeb 😂

…am I reading too much into this, or did Odin just literally forget that Loki exists?

On the other hand, the author also seemed to forget Loki existed for most of this chapter, so who knows. 🤷‍♀️

lmao @ Jane immediately trying to convince herself she’s too rational to be attracted to a stranger 

Honestly, though, big mood. 

Just your periodic reminder that Thor’s sycophantic friends KNEW Loki was right and decided to throw him under the bus anyway. 

Just as I’ve always said: That was it. That was their ENTIRE rationale. That Loki *could* have done it, therefore he must have. Please tell me these people have nothing to do with Asgard’s justice system.

…lol, jk, Asgard has no justice system.

Ok, first of all, no.

Second: thank you, Fandral. You’re a self-absorbed cad, but also evidently Thor’s least stupid friend.

Thirdly, how…? First, it was, “Loki arranged all this because he’s jealous of Thor.” Now they’ve suddenly jumped all the way to, “All of Asgard is in danger.” What exactly does Sif think Loki is planning? He’s gonna, what… assassinate Odin and then sell Asgard to the Jötnar?

—

Please stop hurting me.

Just so there’s no confusion: this one sentence explains everything Loki did for the rest of the movie. It explains how a person who has been historically non-aggressive suddenly transforms into a warmonger. To prove himself a real Asgardian, like his brother and father and grandfather. 

—

…why did Odin fall into the Odinsleep in two completely different scenes in this book? I’m super confused.

Also, we really need to talk about how cruel it is of Marvel to keep forcing Loki to prove his loyalty again and again and again when he’s been doing so almost literally since we met him. And by “we need to talk about it”, I mean I need to tie Kevin Feige and co. to a chair and spend a minimum of five hours lecturing them on how poorly they understand their own fucking character.

Let’s just be clear here: they’re talking about Loki. They’re saying Loki, their LEGITIMATE king, is an enemy of Asgard, based on evidence so paper-thin it’s practically invisible. Just… please, let that sink in. Take a moment to appreciate how utterly fucked up that is. 

I’m sorry (not really), but Thor was so much funnier before Ragnarok.

This scene has always kind of bugged me. If Odin removed Thor’s powers, how come he can still control the weather? Confusing.

So what exactly was Thor’s plan anyway, before he realised he couldn’t lift Mjölnir? He was just gonna call on Heimdall to help him commit treason AGAIN, show up on Asgard against the expressed command of his king, and… Odin would just shrug and be like, “You got me, son! I guess I can’t keep you down. Welcome home!”?

…I mean, I guess that more or less is what happened in the end, but it’s hard to imagine it would have still gone down that way without all the stuff that happened with Loki. Idk.  

#look what i'm saying is... thor is not exactly a thinking person #no one on asgard is a thinking person #except loki but he's crazy now so he's also thinking somewhat poorly lol

Cool, Thor. Now imagine feeling that way for ONE THOUSAND YEARS and develop a little fucking empathy for your brother.

But you won’t.

You’ll brush off his feelings of worthlessness as “imagined slights”. 😒

Nice that somebody knows how the royal line of succession works, I guess… 

That sound you hear? Yeah, that’s just my heart breaking. NBD. 

First, they mislabelled it the Casket of Eternal Winters. Now it’s the Cask of Ancient Winters. Author must have been thirsty when they wrote this. Lol 

Look, not to nitpick, but this is not the recommended procedure when you see a storm that you don’t believe is of supernatural origin coming. I’m just saying. Lol 

Uh… ‘cause he is?? And your pals are committing treason AGAIN, Thor, so it technically is responding to a threat to Asgard. Just FYI.

Anyways, this is an important point that doesn’t get made often enough. People want to act like Loki illegally usurped the throne somehow, but even without the deleted scene that explicitly shows Frigga passing rulership to him (a scene which is, for some reason, entirely skipped over in this book, but whatever), understand this: Loki could not have controlled the Destroyer unless he was legitimately King of Asgard. The fact that he’s able to do so is irrefutable proof that his rulership is valid.

lmao you little shit

So… here’s my issue with this scene (and with Thor as a character): He always assumes that Loki’s acting out specifically to hurt him. That Loki’s entire life and thought process revolves around Thor. He does it in this scene, he does it in The Avengers… it’s just a chronic thing with Thor. Everything is viewed through the lens of Loki inexplicably hating him.

But that’s… just not accurate. Yes, Loki harbours a lot of jealousy towards Thor. But that’s not what’s happening in this scene. Loki is not trying to kill Thor here because he wants him dead; he’s doing it because Thor (and his friends) are getting in the way of Loki completing his ultimate goal. Loki tried to solve this problem non-violently, by lying about Odin being dead. It’s Thor’s friends who all but forced his hand by going behind his back and trying to bring Thor back to Asgard against Loki’s (and Odin’s!) direct orders.

For all the humility he’s learned in the past few days, this entire speech is still really all about Thor. About assuming that Loki’s doing this for personal reasons, because he holds a grudge against Thor for some unknown reason. This is implicit in his request to “take [my life] and end this.” It never even occurs to him that his friends are traitors to the Crown and Loki, as King of Asgard, is perhaps justified in pursuing them.

It also needs to be acknowledged that Thor’s apology here is hollow, even if it’s ultimately coming from his heart, because he has no idea what he’s apologising for. “Whatever I have done to wrong you” is not an apology. An apology addresses specific hurtful actions taken and commits to not repeating those mistakes in the future. Thor cannot commit to not repeating the hurtful things he’s done, because he doesn’t know what he’s done. Despite his best intentions, what Thor is doing here is actually kind of manipulative. He’s not addressing any substantive issue between the two of them; he’s just trying to talk Loki down. And it ultimately fails not because Loki doesn’t care or because he wants Thor dead, but because it doesn’t actually change anything.

Finally and only semi-relatedly, we should maybe at some point talk about the fact that Loki, who is stated to be a master tactician, has displayed a weird pattern of hardly ever being as lethal as he could be. He freezes Heimdall in place instead of killing him outright; he backhands Thor with the Destroyer instead of incinerating him; he, well… *gestures vaguely at almost the entirety of the first Avengers movie* Anytime the violence is even a little bit personal, he seems to hedge. Odd behaviour for somebody who’s supposedly super evil.

I’m sorry, I know I’ve pointed it out at least a hundred times before, but I just can’t encounter this scene in any form without taking a moment to appreciate how underrated and hilarious it is.

I also genuinely wonder how many Ragnarok stans who have accused me of having no sense of humour, have failed to laugh at moments like this one. Kinda feel like if you need to have the comedy spoonfed to you in the form of ass jokes, maybe you’re the one whose sense of humour is lacking. 🤷‍♀️

Let’s be super clear: this is not what happened. Loki did not betray Odin; he was betrayed by Odin. He did not open Asgard to its enemies; he attempted, misguidedly, to destroy Asgard’s enemies. And he most certainly did not commit suicide out of a sense of guilt.

I’m not saying Loki did nothing wrong, nor am I saying he feels no regret for the lives he has taken. What I’m saying is there’s no indication that he believes he betrayed Odin or Asgard in the process. Which makes perfect sense, because he didn’t. Everything he tried to do was for Odin and Asgard. It was misguided and horrible, yes, but it can hardly be classified as a betrayal.

The insurmountable burden on Loki is not that he did terrible things, but that no matter what he does or how hard he tries, Odin will never look at him with anything but contempt. Consider once more these passages from the very beginning of the book, at Thor’s coronation:

—

Consider that this book goes to great pains to point out that Odin favours Thor because Thor is a warrior like him. And yet even when Loki embraces that, even when he acts more war-like than ever before, Odin rejects him— just as he always has.

There is a reason why this moment is the last time Loki will ever call Odin his father. Because he realises once and for all that, no, nothing he tries will ever be good enough; no, Odin won’t ever look at him with pride. That is Loki’s burden. That is why he lets go.

The epilogue is really just two pages of making me want to vomit. 

There’s your party where Thor and a certain subset of the fandom insist that Loki was mourned. There’s barely an indication here that anyone even perceives his demise as a negative thing.

“[Sif] could see Frigga thought [Loki was dead] as well” also contradicts the tie-in comic for TDW, so I don’t know what the author is on about there. Unlike the majority of Marvel comics, the tie-in comics are canon to the MCU, so it’s a bizarre statement to make.

COULD YOU SMEAR THE DEAD* ABUSE VICTIM A LITTLE HARDER, PLEASE? Fucking hell.

No matter how many times I encounter this scene, in whatever format, I still fail to become desensitized to how disgusting it is. I realise there’s a good chance that whatever version of events Thor has been told was twisted at best; but how you can look at a man whose son has just committed suicide under any circumstances and say there will never be a better father than that guy, is utterly beyond my capacity to understand.

And Odin’s “you’ve already made me proud” line just feels like extra salt in the wound because, again, Loki let go because he realized Odin would never say those words to him. And yet they come so damn easily when it’s Thor.

Fuck this entire family so much. I think I hate them more than Loki does. Sometimes I wonder what he would think about that. How he would react to knowing that not only is he actually loved, but that he’s so loved that people are genuinely furious at the way he’s been mistreated. That there are people who regularly devolve into full-on rants because they just can’t contain how much anger they have towards the people who hurt him. I think he’d have a hard time wrapping his head around that concept, tbh.

Anyways, to end on a not-completely-depressing note, I’m still waiting for someone at Marvel to explain how Loki knew what Thor said in this scene after plummeting into a wormhole. ‘Cause he references this conversation as Fauxdin at the end of TDW. So like… ?? Did he steal Odin’s memories before he erased them? Because that would be… kind of neat, actually. And very clever. Not entirely ethical, of course, but it’s Odin, so fuck ethics.

WELP, THAT’S IT. Thanks for following along with my dumbassery, hope you enjoyed yourselves. Lol

#phase one: thor #loki meta #thor meta #odin's a+ parenting #frigga's b+ parenting #topic: thor and loki's broken relationship #loki #thor #heimdall #lady sif #the warriors 3 #jane foster #ragnarok cinematic universe #mcu #topic: asgardian hypocrisy #topic: asgardian militarism #topic: odin's family dynamic

[cluelesslesbian]

Check-In Tag✨

AKA a very long post about moi and this account bc I was tagged by the lovely @katelfiredemon <3

IF YOU SEE THIS, PRETEND I'M TAGGING U like this is completely optional (and long omg) so I don't wanna FORCE anyone to do it but asjhkl I think it's cute

1. why did you choose your url?

My og url was something dumb bc I only used tumblr to keep up with artists and writers I admired… this one is revamped to be ~relatable~ bc I wanted something that I felt comfortable adding on my art?? But ok-

clueless = because THERE’S TIMES THAT I’M A LIL SLOW TO GET A JOKE SDFHJKL

lesbian = bc I’m not out to my family but my sexuality is something I like about me,,, so I wanted to acknowledge it somewhere (and the anonymity of tumblr = ideal tbh)

2. any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

I made one like yesterday lol! It’s @blue-dragon-shin-ah and it’s for Akatsuki no Yona (an anime and manga I TOTALLY rec! It’s like a historical themed fantasy, comedy, romance WITH a found family trope it’s so good)

but ngl I have no clue how to keep track of more than 1 blog so it'll be a lot more inactive than this one asdhkl

3. how long you’ve been on tumblr?

hmm according to my tumblr account it’d be 2016 since that’s the oldest post I’ve kept (I deleted everything and revamped this acc in december 2020)

BUT I did the math and I would’ve made this account in middle school so around 2013-2014 lol I don’t think I used it much until voltron was booming in like 2016-2018.. Then I lowkey stopped… until now!

4. do you have a queue tag?

oof no

……...I probably should? like 90% of my blog is queued or scheduled… but ngl I barely remember to tag posts at ALL some nights so I probably won’t (rip if that’s annoying,, but I don’t make much og content so I figure anyone following me is chill with this lol)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

In middle school?? To see funny posts and not be pressured into having an ~online presence~ tbh. That’s literally it lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and keith's expressions r hilarious

Before I just,,, chose sokka bc I love that blue boi and the edit of him had a yellow bg that I LOVED (and matched with my pink theme)

7. why did you choose your header?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and klance sdjfhk

Before it was just a colour palette bc I wanted my blog to be my fav colour: PINK

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

My zukka art omg- like I did one that I put effort into which I KNOW is my top post (it’s got like 600 notes??? I still can’t believe it I love that!! 🥰)

BUT MY SECOND TOP IS A POST OF REALLY REALLY ROUGH SKETCHES OF THEM AND I LOWKEY CRINGE AT IT (it’s got like 500 notes.. And I’m like… y ?? I can DO BETTER 😭)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

…...listen I’ve literally never had mutuals until this year (minus my one irl.. I love u bitch!! but u know that bc we text on other platforms too)

idek am i supposed to be keeping track??? I just smile a lot when i see the darker-tinted notifs in my activity feed

10. how many followers do you have?

hmmmmmmm ok i lowkey don’t want to answer this bc my whole love for tumblr is that followers don’t matter? You could follow me today and unfollow tmrw bc i ship something you don’t and life moves on??? So yeah no answer here

11. how many people do you follow?

1807 babeyyyy

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

...wait define shitpost- technically any original post under #yeetidk might be a shitpost cause they’re all just?? my shitty rambles tbh???

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Sometimes i’ve got the app open allll day long but other days?? I’ll go on like once in the morning or at night just to check my notifs and then that’s it

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lmaoo bold of you to assume i interact with anyone enough to have a fight (AKA no)

If i did tho?? I’m the type to try and come to some middle ground before dropping the issue so idk- i’m more likely to lose bc i’m willing to （づ￣3￣）

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Wish-granting/curse stuff: no.

Politics/Donation posts: depends! I try to only reblog posts like these that I know a bit about bc I don’t really wanna contribute to misinformation ykno?

I did start tagging these posts as #important but I’m not like?? gonna be mad at anyone for not reblogging political posts (also a heads-up if you wanted to block #important: I also tag some lgbt+ stuff under there so you’ll likely miss those too, not a huuuge loss but just an fyi yknow??)

16. do you like tag games?

asdfghjkl this is honestly the first tag game i’ve ever been part of so i have no opinion 😭 tho formatting this post has been a bitch asdhjkl I gotta get back to my homework when I'm finally done this

17. do you like ask games?

I've done a grand total of 1 and I felt so?? ashgjl awkward and bad for asking people to talk to me about myself- maybe if I do one that isn't about me I'll like it more

I do love sending other people anons to compliment them when they do these games tho 😌

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

....this requires me to pay attention to people I follow more than I have been so I literally have no idea??

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

yes. the one readings this. love u, sweetheart 😘

/jokes

I don't?? usually get crushes? idek.. thought I was aromantic for a while bc of that lmaoo (but then I got a crush on someone irl and I was like "oooh ok so maybe im just gay then")

#did i proofread any of this?? no. did I copy and paste someone else's q&a and type over it?? yup #so if u see anything kinda wack asdhklj ignore it. i gotta go back to my homework #about me #blame the coffee

[sunsetcurve]

so...the last year has been rough. for everyone. but i’ve been lucky in a lot of ways, especially with the people in my life, and i wanted to take a second to thank some people on here. because genuinely, you guys mean so freaking much to me. i’ve had a lot of online friends in my life but none that feel so much like family. these are the people who have carried me through the last year, who’ve made me feel seen and heard and supported me in all my endeavors and just been wonderful to me all around. i love you guys, and happy new year <3

i’m about to get into it now. and i’ll try not to cry too much along the way.

@neshatriumphs​ nesha, when i say that you’re our fandom mom i mean that you’re my family, i mean that you’re my biggest supporter, my inspiration, my rock, the person who makes me want to be my best self, all the time. i can’t explain to you what your support has meant to me over the years. whether it’s leaving me incredibly kind notes on my fics that make me want to write more just for you, or sending me asks when you know i’m feeling down, or just making me laugh with your hilarious takes, you have always, always been there for me. you’re the toughest person i know and you make me want to keep pushing every day. you’re so incredibly talented; your ideas are just always stunning and inspired and despite being humble about it you’re amazing at everything you do. your art, your writing, your aesthetics, all of it. loeg and share-a-lair were just spectacular and such a show of how complex and original and smart your writing is. barring just your talent you’re also an inspiration in how passionate and kind and dedicated you are. you care for others everywhere you go. you come on here and constantly make me want to be a better person. it’s not just me, either—you’ve taken on the role of helping all of us in any way you can, and you just make us feel loved and supported and give us someone to always look up to. i love you. plain and simple, you’re my family, and i’m so, so grateful to have you in my life.

@juliesdahlias​ you know when you meet someone younger than you and you’re like how do they have this much talent in their body? and you can’t even be mad about it because you just want to root for them and you want good things for them and you think of them like a little sibling? that’s me around you all. the freaking. time. pearl, i’m constantly blown away by how smart and driven and passionate you are. you have so much talent to offer the world and i love seeing you thrive more than anything. you inspire me every freaking day; i mean, your tiara thief drabbles literally made me pull my fic out of my drafts for the first time in months. every time you post it’s something iconic and beautiful, whether its your fics or your edits or your headcanons. and not just that, but you’re so incredibly supportive of everything i put out there. like with ths, the way you latched on to it and are one of our biggest fans and made content for it literally as soon as we started!! that was amazing!! you’re just such an incredible person in every sense of the word; you’re talented and hilarious and kind and passionate and i love you so so much. i cannot wait to watch you do amazing things because i know you’re gonna be one of the greats. ily. 

@ciara-knightly i can’t even put this into words. i’m sitting here trying to say it right and every time i start i just turn into “!!!!!!!!” cause i love you so much. i know i’ve said this before, but shona, you’re honestly like my older sister. this whole year of just, really getting to talk to you beyond tumblr has shown me how honestly kind, passionate, smart, and supportive you are. talking to you is one of my favorite things in the world, whether it’s rambling about tiara thief, or discussing feminism in media, or just getting life advice. you always know what to say to lead me in the right direction and reassure me that things are gonna be okay. i look up to you more than i can tell you; i’m constantly inspired by your talent and your drive. you’re endlessly supportive and you make me laugh all the time, and i hold literally every convo we have close to my chest because it means so much to me to just be able to have them with you. i’ll never be over the fact that you basically discovered jatp, or us talking and making predictions for weeks before it aired, or us plotting out the whole dystopia novel together—which, even though it didn’t really pan out, was such an amazing experience because i got to do it with you. and i absolutely scroll back through our convos on a regular basis to scream over our tiara thief headcanons. everything i’ve done with you has been incredibly fun and meaningful, so what i’m trying to say in this very long winded way is that i’m so, so glad i know you, and i can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. 

@bitchmilsky lizzie, i literally think of you like you’re my little sibling. my weird, crazy, hilarious, incredibly kind and supportive and creative and amazing little sibling. ever since i met you you’ve been nothing but fun and friendly and wonderful to me. your posts never fail to make me laugh and i love seeing whatever you’re up to, even if it’s video games that i understand nothing about. you have so many fun ideas and you’re so freely yourself, it’s honestly inspiring. the things you make are always adorable and every time we go live together and chat i always have so much fun, and talking and i just want to meet you in person so badly because i know we’d be an amazing, unstoppable duo and that you’d make me laugh until my sides hurt. i’m still waiting on that cross-country road trip. we could roll the windows down and belt our way through the entire hd musical soundtrack, and it would be epic. for real, though, you’re one of my favorite people ever, and i hope this year brings you nothing but fun and good things because that’s what you deserve. i’m sending you a million virtual hugs and also booty shorts that say poggers on the ass. i love you <3

@zackmartn i know i’m gonna start crying right now because i love you so much and i’m trying not to because i just did my makeup but dammit, nikki, i just love you so much. i remember when i first came on here and was afraid to talk to you because i was like “ohmygod she’s so cool she’s the king of this fandom she’s amazing” but i thank god that you reached out to me every day. i honestly can’t imagine my life without you; you’ve been such a presence in it for so long that you’re inseparable from it. even the times i’ve gone on hiatus i’ve been stalking your blog from a distance like “i just wanna know what she’s up to...”. you’re honestly like an older sister to me and you’re one of the people i admire the most; you’ve been through and continue to go through so much and yet every day you come on here and decide to be a freaking light to all of us, to make me smile, to support me literally endlessly. like, the amount of times you’ve driven me to near tears from your reviews of my writing is ridiculous. the freaking umana fan club?? the way ths is one of your top tags??? it’s just...insane and such a show of how boundless your support is. and that’s not even getting into how freaking talented you are!!! i stare at your gifsets all the time!! and your fics like....holy shit you literally created this whole universe that i’m so freaking invested in and is better than literally anything that canon could ever do, and i know i’m honestly terrible at responding to messages but i hope you know you never have to start holding back with me. most of the time when i get stuff you send i have to sit there and get my thoughts together and that takes forever, but i love love love reading it anyway. the way you get excited about the things you love is everything, it’s something that i really really love about you, and i hope you continue to keep that passion and love for everything. and i hope that this year brings you nothing but good things, because you deserve that more than anyone. i love you. 

@willexs eliza, babe, i know we joke all the time that we were put on opposite sides of the ocean because we’d be too powerful if we were together but i really think it’s true. imagine us meeting. the universe just wouldn’t be able to handle it; it would implode. listen, you’re literally like my twin, my other half. we have so much in common that it’s honestly ridiculous. we operate on the same brainwave, and every time we talk i’m blown away by how easy it is and i honestly love it so much because i could not have picked a more talented and creative and fun person to work with. writing ths with you has literally been like...one of my favorite writing experiences ever. i can’t believe that it started on such a whim because it’s such an important part of my life now and getting to have you next to me while we figure this whole thing out is honestly the best part. it’s not just all the characters and dynamics we’ve created, it’s the fact that i can send you incoherent ramblings at ungodly hours and you’ll pick them apart, it’s the 3-hour phone calls to make playlists, it’s you always making me feel heard and inspiring me. it’s this like...excitement of building towards something amazing with someone i love. you understand me on this crazy and fundamental level, and sometimes it blows my mind how similar we are and how well you know me without us having even met. i feel like we’re the embodiment of “nobody gets me like you”. and i know i’ve said this before, but i really do think you make me a better writer. i love how you make me laugh, i love that you always have the best takes and i love how talented you are with your incredible adorable art and your fics and your gorgeous edits and i love that we egg each other on and hype each other up. i love that, despite being on opposite sides of the ocean, we’re still best friends. and i love you <3

​@cactus-con lou!!!!!! i literally just...ahh i love you so much!! i know i’ve said this before but you were the first person i talked to in this fandom, and you made me feel so freaking welcome. and that has never changed. talking to you is so easy and natural, and you make me feel loved and heard all the time. i love getting to share stuff with you because you always always always hype me up. not just that but like...your talent?? literally unmatched!!! you’re amazing at everything you do it’s ridiculous. i love love love all your artwork, i could stare at it literally all day. you have so much talent and i literally cannot wait to watch you do such great things with it. i just...you’re such a wonderful person to everyone around you. you spread all this love and support and kindness and i think you’re one of the most genuine people i know and i’m so so glad i know you. i hope this year treats you so well because you deserve nothing but good things. i love you. <3

@owenjoyners where do i even start?? brooke, you’re like my other twin. i know i’ve said this before but it’s literally insane to me that we’ve known each other for less than a year because it feels like i’ve known you my whole life. you are such an incredible freaking person. you’re funny and you’re kind and you’re talented and you make me smile every damn day. i love getting post notifs from you because i swear to god i light up every time. your gifsets are always gorgeous, and i’ve watched you learn and improve and you’ve gotten so good, it makes me so happy every time. your art??? you say you’re just starting out but i can’t even tell you how much i love it. your fics!!! you’re good at everything and it’s honestly ridiculous. and it’s not even about your consistently amazing posts, i also just...i love talking to you more than anything, even if we’re just simping over owen together. you make me laugh all the time and you always hype me up; you’ve let me ramble about my fics and helped me get my ideas together, you’ve talked stupid life stuff like school and college with me, and you’ve given me someone to go to whenever i need it. i think of you as one of my best friends and i can’t get over how fast we clicked or how easy it is to talk to you. i need you to come visit me so i can give you so many hugs and we can have a sleepover and talk for literally hours on end. in the meantime, we need to call again sometime because that was honestly so much fun. i love you with all my heart. 

and some people i want to say thank you to, because even though we don’t talk as often as i’d like you’re still amazing, and you make me smile all the time, and i love seeing you on my dash or in my notes: @taylorswiftrulestheworld @onplanetmars @dr-rigatoni @swellviews-finest @symphonic-concert @molinasmercer

#nikki tag! 💛 #lizzie tag! 💜 #nobody gets me like you tag ❣️ #nesha tag! 💟 #brooke tag! 💙 #lou tag! 💚 #shona tag! 🌟 #heather tag! #otter tag! #jamie tag! #k tag! #faith tag! #monisha tag! #pearl tag! 💖

[wiltingpierrot]

Gem Glow: Part 1

Welcome! Well, this isn’t really made to entertain. I’m just doing this to recover from trauma and get a good grasp of the show’s lore while having my girls react with me. Feel free to tag along.

We’ll be watching four episodes a day and react only to the major events as tackling all of them is a toughie.

 Sharpie: “I want to see real tears, Wilt.”

Wilt: “Tears? At the very first episode?”

Sharpie: “Yes. Otherwise I’ll make you cry by some other means.”

Wilt: “I have these tear marks. Those count, yes?”

Sharpie: “Real tears, I said.”

Wilt: “Ahh, how iconic.”

Spinel: “The area around the lighthouse is lacking a lot of flowers. That’ll change someday!”

Sharpie: “Yes, after a lot of blood, ink and tears had been shed first.”

Spinel: “Here we have a shot of the show’s hero, lamenting the discontinuation of a certain ice cream snack brand.”

Sharpie: “Is this triggering your PTSD yet?”

Wilt: “Not really. I thought it would but surprisingly I’m still okay.”

Lars: “Well, if you miss your wimpy ice cream so much, why don’t you make some with your MAGIC BELLY BUTTON?”

Spinel: “Hey Sharpie, let’s make foodstuff with just the energy in our gem.”

Sharpie: “And you still owe me 86 years’ worth of happiness.”

Wilt: “What is this civil conversation you’re having? That’s not how I wrote you two.”

Sadie: “Uhh Steven? Do you want to take the freezer with you?”

Spinel: “Think what would’ve happened if Sadie didn’t let him take that freezer home.”

Sharpie: “Does… does the cat’s face looked different to you?”

Spinel: “I love the lighthouse. The view up the top is always so breathtaking.”

Sharpie: “I’m not so happy with our roommate though.”

Wilt: “…I might have to draw this someday.”

Spinel: “Don’t you just love it when your pets greet you as you enter your house? I wish you would greet me whenever I fall asleep.”

Sharpie: “You’re just my nightmare.”

Amethyst: “’Sup, Steven.”

Spinel: “AME!!!!”

Spinel: “I AM IN LOVE.”

Sharpie: “You can stop replaying this 5 seconds worth of Pearl now.”

Spinel: “It’s 4 seconds worth of Pearl, you heathen.”

Spinel: “HOOO MAMA. Remember when Garnet kicked our ass?”

Sharpie: “She kicked your ass. She kicked your ass so much I had to start a switch to intervene. Now that I think of it, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Sharpie: “Being sliced open is one thing. Being pulled apart is another.”

Spinel: “It’s good that we’re stretchy.”

Sharpie: “I can disable that function and tear you apart like that, actually. Ever wondered why it doesn’t hurt when others pull at you like taffy but I can?”

Spinel: “I can do the same and prevent you from escaping my hugs.”

Sharpie: “*sigh*… I hate you.”

Spinel: “Ahaha! Pearl is so cute!”

Sharpie: “Ahaha! I love this technique.”

Wilt: “It’s good for breaking a hole through walls in maximum security prisons, yeah.”

Amethyst: “Uhh you guys, these things don’t have gems.”

Garnet: “That means there must be a mother somewhere nearby.”

Sharpie: “That’s a fascinating thought.”

Wilt: “It’s similar to how Pearl can project figures that can maintain itself while independent of the source. In this case, the main centipeedle can project independent but smaller versions of itself.”

Sharpie: “How come 2nd Projections aren’t like that, I wonder. Like we can’t have separate bodies or anything…”

Wilt: “Probably because the 2nd Projection has a personality of its own and it stems from the original gem, while Pearl Projections and mini-centipeedles are pre-programmed projections that would act accordingly to the original’s commands. Like, if Spinel makes a projection separate from her, it wouldn’t be you.”

Sharpie: “Fair enough.”

Spinel: “Speaking of Pearl Projections…”

Sharpie: “No.”

Pearl: “Steven, until you learned to control the powers in your gem, we’ll take care of protecting humanity. Okay?”

Spinel: “I want Pearl to snap my neck like that.”

Sharpie: “As if impaling you wasn’t enough.”

Spinel: “PFFFTT-“

Amethyst: “We went out and stole a bunch!”

Spinel: “That’s my Ame.”

Pearl: “I went back and paid for that.”

Sharpie: “That’s…. that’s very Pearl of her.”

Steven: “He left his family behind!”

Spinel: “AHAHAHAHAHA”

Sharpie: “What’s so funny about that?”

Sharpie: “Oh my stars. I hope we don’t have to bear another one of those.”

Wilt: “It’s catchy. I like it.”

Sharpie: “What a happy little family. It’s a shame that they’re doomed to a life of madness onwards.”

Amethyst: “Quick! Try and summon your weapon!”

“Awww, no weapon.”

Wilt: “He’s struggling. A sign of a well-rounded character. The progress is dramatic if we compare this episode to the last ones. And it only took him a few Earth years.”

Sharpie: “And it took us like what, 86 years to get this far and we’re still inferior to most we meet in our travels.”

Spinel: “God I love Pearl.”

Sharpie: “Can you even pay attention to anything that isn’t Pearl?”

Spinel: “I’m capable of paying attention to a lot of things and to nothing at the same time, Sharpie. Be amazed.”

Steven: “Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon?”

Pearl: “Oh! I’ll go first.”

Wilt: “I love Pearl.”

Spinel: “I love Pearl.”

Sharpie: “…”

Spinel: “AUUGH! Pearl is so beautiful.”

Wilt: “This is so anime.”

Spinel: “This scene makes me wanna stand underneath a cherry blossom tree with her in a Friday afternoon and confess my love.”

Sharpie: “God both of you disgust me.”

Pearl: “Pay attention to these petals, Steven.”

Pearl: “The petal’s dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real-time based on the physical properties of this planet.”

Wilt: “HELL YEAH, I LOVE PEARL.”

Pearl: “With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem, and perform your own dance.”

Pearl: “Like so.”

Spinel: “HELL YEAH, I LOVE PEARL”

Sharpie: “So… Pearl’s approach is tuning into the technical reality of the universe to tap into her gem’s energy,”

Amethyst: “Listen Steven. All that practice stuff is no fun. Whenever I need to summon my weapon, it just happens.”

Sharpie: “And Amethyst’s approach is just winging it. Considering Ame is a gem made for war, of course summoning a weapon is natural instinct. Pearl however… She had to learn serious fighting, something most Pearls aren’t made for.”

Spinel: “We’re the same, ain’t we? Spinels ain’t made for violence but we can whoop butt just fine.”

Sharpie: “We just got lucky… and incredibly unfortunate at the same time.”

Sharpie: “Gems are such nuisances. So much that in other places of the world, a group of humans actually built little Distortion Bombs capable of disorienting corrupted gems to a point of repelling them away. Unfortunately those things are powered by tiny bits of gem shards, which is obviously not an easily obtainable source of power. The project was discontinued.”

Spinel: “The invention worked on us, too, which is kind of impressive!”

Sharpie: “The best those little bombs done to us were to irritate us, or temporarily disable our senses. Corrupted gems have warped sentience I think, so they would rely more on instincts and run away from the source of irritation as much as possible.”

Sharpie: “They say if enough energy is given into the device, it’ll have high enough amplitude to potentially dissipate a gem’s physical form. But this is just a fever dream. There’s no way they have access to that amount of energy without slaughtering a Diamond first. Still, props to the engineer who thought that was a good idea.”

Spinel: “So instead of using gem shards, he decided to use us by writing the function into Springy. If we poof, we can give bad gems nearby a head ache and make them go away. We can protect people even if we die in battle! He basically turned us into heroic suicide bombers against corrupted gems.”

Sharpie: “Necessary, considering every time we poof we somehow cause part of a building to catch on fire, killing the people we’re supposed to protect in the process.”

Spinel: “Uh huh… yeaaahh….. I mean, where else is the excess energy supposed to go?”

Sharpie: “I dunno. Some other harmless form of energy apart from heat? The sparkly dust clouds were already perfect and you just had to change it into something deadlier. Thanks to you, seven people that stood close to us turned into soup.”

Spinel: “Well, there was that one time where the fire storm actually saved us from a meanie who wanted to crush us. We can’t just ignore that.”

Sharpie: “Seven people died, Spinel. Seven people that happened to be our allies.”

 Wilt: “Please stop. We have to finish this episode.”

Steven: “So I’m supposed to work really hard and not try at all at the same time?”

Garnet: “Yes.”

Garnet: “Or…”

Garnet: “You can link your mind with the energy of all existing matter, channeling the collective power of the universe through your gem.”

Garnet: “At least that’s my way of doing it.

Spinel: “C’mon, kiddo. It’s not that hard to understand. It’s how Springy lived for the past 40 years. If she can do it, so can you.”

Sharpie: “I bet this makes the most sense to you, huh Wilt?”

Wilt: “It does. Considering we are all just ripples of energy on the surface of the large lasagna we call the observable universe.”

Sharpie: “What a nerd. Also we’re half-way through the episode. You better cry, Wilt.”

Wilt: “I’m saving this shot for reference.”

[cc-tinslebee]

Hey!! Real quick -- thank you @demetriandelibinaryboyfriends for the tag!!

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

I wasn’t not expecting this in the slightest— I decided to watch Cobra Kai on a whim in January while my mom and I were dying my hair, and somehow it became my second hyperfixation of the year?? Wack??

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

Actually, my first introduction to the Karate Kid was the 2010 film with Jaden Smith. It came out when I was younger, so I used to watch it religiously. Then after watching The Outsiders in eighth grade, my dad convinced me to watch the first two original Karate Kid movies before they were kicked off Netflix. Lowkey, the entire time, I was like, “Johnny Cade??” I still haven’t seen the third film because Netflix DVD is homophobic (/j), but I didn’t really get into it until Cobra Kai.

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:

🎶Demetri and Eli, binary booooyfrieeends brooootheeers.🎶 You already know. Somehow relate to both of them a little too much— also Moon!! My beloved!!

Favorite ship:

Elimetri, MoonPiper, and Samiguel all have my heart 🥺

Underrated character:

*takes out a list that hits the floor and keeps rolling* Okay so—

I’m just playing— for underrated-underrated characters, Moon because she’s overshadowed by Yasmine and misogynists, definitely Chris because he’s a legend, and Bert/Nate because the wiki always says ‘some kid’ in reference to them which is like ://

But Moon and Demetri are 100% my biggest underrated-even-though-they’re-a-somewhat-big-character characters. Moon is not a villain and Demetri is not the worst, thank you very much. *points at Reddit and The Cheat Sheet* y’all are just misogynistic and neurotypical.

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):

MoonPiper is kinda underrated, I think? A good chunk of the fandom is adamant on it, which is great, but in the lense of the show, not so much right now. Also torisha kinda! My girls!!

And Shawbby!! Let Robby have a bond outside of this karate nonesense!! It’s what he deserves!!

We’re not gonna talk about my season one-exclusive Moon/Eli/Demetri ship, we’ve already been over this—

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the leg, babey!! I’m definitely on the side of @demetriandelibinaryboyfriends about how it’s genuinely amazing how Demetri just took the move Eli used against him and ran with it. Yes, he is petty, and we love him for it. Me too tbh

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

Dork man TKK-era Daniel had the best fashion sense tho

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

At first, I was going to say I couldn’t think of anyone, but now!! Bring back my boy Freddy Fernandez!! He totally disappeared after the beginning of the first film, and I wanna see him again!! Also Ali’s friend Susan!

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Any Moon & Demetri scene, and I am once again asking them to pay rent— also 100% the Valley Fest scene where Eli pulls Demetri onstage. Iconic of them.

Also, lowkey, any Torisha scene. Somehow so unintentionally gay?? I legitimately thought they were telling me that Aisha had a crush on her??

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

Lowkey, please gods no. Didn’t he appear, like, one (1) time in season three? I think it’s good that they have a comic relief character that’s involved in the conflict by extension, but not actively involved. It’s great to see the LaRusso family, two of them in the midst of this big fight, another getting roped into it and being extra passionate about her husband and daughter being hurt, and then you have the youngest child, serenely playing video games and not giving any fucks

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

I second Bri’s remark — having done karate in the past, Cobra Kai would eat me alive, and I don’t trust Johnny to teach another neurodivergent queer kid. I could probably stand to gain from Daniel’s patience; I’d definitely be Demetri in that situation.

What’s your training montage song?

Dude, I have an entire playlist that I work out to, and I’m very indecisive, so I’ll just say my my main hype song, House of Wolves.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

You already KNOW I’m saying Kickin It. I won’t go in-depth because I already have, but the absolute power they’d have. Demetri and Milton, our favourite sassy Jewish nerds and their aggressively cool (respective) boyfriends Hawk and Jerry. Kim vibing with Sam like they deserve (and give me that good Kim & Bert cousins content, hand it over 🤲🏻). Miguel talking with Jerry in Spanish and, like, idolising Jack!! And you already know the comedic opportunites the Falafel Phil/Anoush thing could have.

Not sure if y’all have done this yet, and don’t feel pressured to if you don’t want to, but I figured I’d tag you folks!! @spidercrush3 @brattycobra @latetoalltheparties @binary-boyfriends4life @transdaniellarusso

#cobra kai

[imanativeofswlondondahling]

Hiding in Plain Sight (1)- Tom Holland X Reader

Word Count-1792

A/N: This was inspired by this wonderful post by @starsholland. Without it this would not be happening. This will be a multi part fic, but I don’t know how many chapters or when it will be posted so if you’d like to be tagged let me know:)  Welcome to Tom being undercover on Tumblr. Quick notes- Y/T/B = Your Tumblr Blog, Y/A is your age :)

“You’re not going to make me go undercover on Tumblr are you?” Tom asks as they hook up the mike to his white t-shirt. “I’ve heard dangerous things about that site.”

“No, no. We’re sticking to Reddit, Twitter, Youtube. Maybe some Quora and IMDB.” The redheaded assistant sitting across from him states as she places the GQ laptop across from him. Tom sees Harrison’s shoulders silently moving up and down, laughing at the idea of him having to go undercover on the site that he had been telling horror stories of for weeks leading up to this interview. “If any of these don’t sound good to you, we can skip them.”

“No, those sound fine.” Tom says. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Camera A ready?” She asks the camera man sitting diagonally from where she is. In response she gets a nod. “Tom when you’re ready say something like I’m Tom Holland and I’m going undercover on the internet to answer your questions. It’s actually me. Something like that.”

From across the room Harrison watches as Tom flows through the questions easily, hoping from site to site with better technical luck than he normally has. He can guess that some of the answers will be giffed and blasted around social media within minutes of this interview going live. It would shock him if it didn’t.

“Check it out mate.” On his screen flashes Tom saying I drink tea darling over and over again. “Your fans love it. Which is good, seeing how upset a lot of them are over the Disney/Sony thing.”

“Where is this?”

“Your favorite site.”

“Instagram?”

“Tumblr.” Tom rolls his eyes and falls back into the couch.

“Why are you even on there?”

“Why aren’t you? So many fangirls, so little time.” Tom shoots a dirty look at Harrison. “But in all seriousness, there’s a lot of great reactions and gifs that you can only find on Tumblr. You should check it out.” Tom reaches for Harrison’s computer but he pulls away. “Make your own account. It costs nothing.”

“Ugh, fine.” Pulling his phone out of his pocket, downloads the app and creates an account. Expecting one of the fangirls to have already have taken his common username, he’s surprised to be able to fill out the form with tomholland2013 as his username. Will that seem too much like him? Who knows. It’s not like he’s planning to actually use this site. He just using it to see what Harrison wants him to see. “What do I look up?”

“Just search the hashtag Tom Holland and look under recent for the most recent stuff. Most of it is your undercover interview. Or you can look under the Tom Holland top posts and see what your fans are obsessed with.” Tom is on the main page and sees a suggestion of blogs. A lot of them have his name intertwined in them with his picture as the profile picture. Guess it wouldn’t hurt to follow some blogs while he’s on here? 

The first one he follows is @starsholland who seems to write fanfictions about him but also shares a lot of marvel pictures. By clicking follow it brings up a lot of suggested blogs to follow. He clicks on @tonguetiedholland and sees another fanfiction writer but also a lot of posts between them and other bloggers. “Is this site just fanfiction?”

“No, there’s pictures and edits and stuff too. Why? You only interested in the fanfiction?”

“I only seem to find fanfictions.” Tom replies as he clicks on a blog called @tomhollandsstan, finding a mix of fanfictions, pictures and conversations. However his eyes scroll through one of the fics and find something much more raunchy than he anticipated finding. “Holy hell. What are they writing all of this about?”

“Reading something steamy Tommy?” Harrison teases. Tom feels his face flush with the embarrassment of knowing that there are girls and guys out there picturing stuff like this with him as the main feature. 

“I’m getting off this site. It’s bloody porn.”

“No wait, you’ve just stumbled down the wrong path. Let me send you some blogs to look at.” Harrison pulls up some of the ones that are mostly pictures and reactions. “What’s your tumblr handle? I’ll send them to you?”

“Tomholland2013.”

“Really? It wasn’t taken?”

“Nope.”

“See how long it stays secretive.”

“I don’t plan on using it.” Tom says as he hits follow on some of the other blogs that Harrison sent him, including one that was @Y/T/B. He found himself scrolling through it a little more in depth than he had with any of the other pages he had been on. The posts and your reactions were more what he expected of tumblr. Glee filled, but not thirsty. Hitting follow was a no brainer.

Across the country, your phone lights up as you get a notification from Tumblr. You’re about to swipe it away, since your day is currently going down hill as the recipes you’re in the middle of trying out are turning into pinterest fails. Also you should have checked before you started baking a cake that you had powdered sugar to make frosting, so you’ll have to do another pinterest deep dive for a frosting recipe since you can’t use your tried and true recipe.

However, the name on the notification catches your eye- Tomholland2013 has followed you. Wow someone finally snatched the name. There had been jokes around the fandom for months that someone should snag the name so Tom could have it whenever or if-ever he decided to join tumblr. But it seems someone has decided to be Tom. Whoever it is though seems to enjoy your posts because they’re liking your posts in succession. While your stand mixer whirls, you open to their blog and see there’s nothing there. Not even a banner or an icon photo. They must be a super new blog. You back out of their blog and almost back out of the app when you see a message from this Tom Holland wanna be.

From: Tomholland2013

I really like all your edits of Tom. Can I use one as my profile pic? X

You pause for a second before replying. This person wasn’t the first to ask to use one of your edits as a profile picture. Why does this feel different though? It has to just be because of the name. You click to reply to the ask.

I’m so surprised someone finally took the name. Me and @imanativeofswlondondahling had a bet going on for how long it was going to stay open in case Tom wanted it. Anyway, feel free to use my edits, or if you have a favorite picture of Tom, send it my way and I’ll make an edit for you.

You hit send on the ask before you can change your mind and then you turn back to your cake- which has probably been overwhipped now.

“Do I have a favorite picture of Tom?” Tom mumbles to himself as he reads over your reply. He’d love to see something that was made for him, but that means finding a picture of himself that he wants edited. “Harrison, com’ere mate. Take a selfie with me.”

“What’s this for?” Harrison asks before posing. @Y/T/B wouldn’t know this was just a selfie. You’d probably think he just did a Google deep dive.

“Need a profile picture. For my blog.” Tom teases, before clicking back to his messages on tumblr. There has to be a way to send a direct message instead of an ask like he did before. He had been planning to use an edit you had done of him saying I drink tea darling, but he wasn’t going to toss up having a custom made icon. After fiddling around on the app for a few minutes Tom finally figures out how to send a message and sends the picture he had snapped with Harrison a few minutes earlier. He tacks on a quick message asking her to do whatever she wants with the picture and to take as long as she wants and or needs. After hitting send, he clicks back to your blog's main page, trying to learn more about you.

At the top of your page, simply stated, it reads Y/N, Y/A, Tom Holland Fan. Well that does tell him you’re around his age, so that makes him feel less like a creeper. He wants to know everything he can about you, but all he can find through scrolling is mainly, well him. He can’t explain why, but there’s a sort of pull towards you from what he can find in your messages to other people and responding to anon messages, you seem like someone he’d want to be friends with. You have a great sense of humor and make jokes as often as you can in your messages. 

“Haz, can I turn on notifications for, like a certain blog?” Tom calls across the living room.

“Thought you weren’t going to use it.”

“There’s a couple blogs I like.”

“Sure, let me show you.” Tom passes his phone over and watches as Harrison turns on notifications for your blog. “Oh she’s great. Her reactions when news is posted is great.” A notification pops up on your screen. “Apparently she just posted.”

A cake maker I am not destined to be. Gordon Ramsay will make an idiot sandwich out of me.

A picture of a very sad looking cake appears under her text. “Maybe she should stick to making edits.” Harrison jokes. 

“Mate, that’s rude.”

“But it’s not wrong. Plus it’s not like yours would look much better.”

“Mine would be worse.” Taking his phone back, he clicks on the comment bubble and types out: looks better than anything I would make X His inbox dings a couple moments later. 

How have I never seen this photo of Harrison and Tom? Did it get posted while I was attempting to bake?

I think it’s an old photo. Found it on my phone. X And technically that’s not a lie.

Well I’ll hop on that edit. Any colors you prefer?

Blue or Red would be good I guess. X

I’ll get right on that. What’s with all the x’s?

Oh it’s a European thing. It’s just how we sign off texts and messagesX

If it’s annoying I can try and not do it?X

It’s fine. Just didn’t know why it was there. 

Do you think Tom does it?

Oh most definitely. What kind of Brit would he be if he didn’t?X

Well I’ll go get on the edit, hopefully I’ll have it done in the next day or so

No hurryX

Thanks againX

#Tom holland #tom holland tumblr #tom holland undercover #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #harrison osterfield #imanativeofswlondondahling #starsholland #tonguetiedholland #tomhollandsstan

[cheeryfairygender]

Oh, that's so swag about sharing a b-day with Nagisa! /gen /pos That's neat tbh /gen

In terms of Vocaloid/UTAUloid recommendations, I've currently been listening to Pyrite Girl and What Gave It Away, both songs made by R.I.P. (with Pyrite Girl originally sung by Kagamine Rin, and What Gave It Away originally sung by Otomachi Una) on loop. Oh, and if you ever wanna listen to some good Kasane Teto covers (and I genuinely mean good /gen), look no further than Tanjiro Taidana and their covers. They're an amazing ass UTAUloid song artist/tuner, and while they primarily use Teto, they also occasionally use other UTAUloids and even Vocaloids.

Yeah, buffalo wings can be spicy, heh. In terms of wings or the sauce of whatever food item, there's usually a mild option, a medium option, a hot option, and so forth (sometimes). Depending on that, they can be spicy. However, I have a tolerance with spicy food, as well as a huge love for spicy food, so I'm a bit bias in terms of if a certain food is spicy or not /lh However, I completely respect you not tending to not like spicy food! /gen /nm I get that it's not everyone's cup of tea.

Yeah, I can definitely understand your opinion on the artstyle. Looking at the examples you provided, it honestly makes complete sense /gen (not /s). And considering I've completed DRV3, yeah, it's kind of unique compared to the other two [main] games /neu

Oh, and as for the air fryer thing you mentioned in the tags, you can usually figure out how to use it+how to airfry certain things by looking it up! Just type in Google if you can airfry XYZ food, and it'll usually give the suggested temperature and time. I'm sure you can airfry sweet potato fries, as you can airfry regular French fries (whether they're frozen or from a fast food place)! /gen /nf I feel that sounds dumb and easier said than done, but if it makes you feel better, I didn't know how to use it at first for quite awhile /gen /lh (not /s)

Oh oh, and don't worry about not adding reply icons! It's all good /lh /gen /nm

TBH I want to like spicy food but it's a sensory issue for me because I can't tolerate the pain very well, and I don't like a lot of flavors of the actual food that has spice. But oddly enough, I like Japanese style curry. It's super good. Apparently as a little kid I liked spicy food though which makes it super weird I grew out of it. I really like sour food, though! I think the issue is that spice stays in your mouth even after eating, but sour goes away super fast (unless you injure your mouth/tongue from too much/too strong sour food).

I just generally don't like things with strong flavors...like, I don't even like how black pepper tastes. I tend to eat...bread. And sweet baked products. I usually just eat a lot of samefoods but my sister is an incredible cook so I eat whatever she makes when she cooks! Otherwise I just kinda graze on snacks.

Also I listened to the music and it's super interesting /positive, I like finding smaller vocal synth artists! Also yes yes I've heard Tanjiro before and he's GREAT at utauloid tuning. I feel like utauloids are often tuned better than vocaloids nowadays because you have to put in more effort to get them to sound good and it's easier to just put less work in for vocaloid.

Airfryers are just super intimidating IG I think we got ours for free from someone who didn't need it??

Also to make it clear I don't like...dislike v3? It's a cool game, it just doesn't satisfy the itch the first two games give me, which honestly makes sense. The original Danganronpa series ended on purpose--they reached a good end for it. V3 is kinda like a new beginning so you can't go into it wanting what the original series had. I feel like the graphics/art style for Danganronpa didn't age well with time. For the original games, it made a lot more sense considering when they came out and the consoles they were released on, but that kinda sloppy, eccentric style doesn't transfer well when there's a higher production value like v3 has I think.

I think the WEIRDEST thing is how...much worse the games got in terms of jokes/content. Like, the things about incest and any homophobia got way worse. Kaito says slurs against gay men/trans women in the Japanese version more than once, I think.

In SDR2, most characters are implied to be bi and wlw or mlm. There's less in DRTHH, but they're still there. The original games write queer characters subtly but in a very good way. You still have this subtle writing for v3 but they completely upped the explicit jokes to the point it isn't silly or funny...just uncomfortable. (Mikan, Teruteru, Kazuichi, Nagito, Hajime, Imposter, and Nekomaru are all implied to be queer off the top of my head. Makoto, Mondo, Taka, Chihiro, Hifumi, Mukuro, Junko, and Leon are all implied to be queer iirc as well.) Like with Leon in DRTHH, his cousin has romantic feelings for him, but he makes it SUPER clear he hates it and it makes him super uncomfortable. But then I think v3 just has straight up incest with the monokubs? I'm not sure if the other characters reacted uncomfortably to it or not, though. But just...the way the characters talk/the jokes they make totally changed. It's super odd to me. It really takes me out of it and it

I guess my main issue is the shift in how the characters act, less context for the behavior of the characters (like, DRTHH extends into SDR2, and vice versa. Each game lends into each other), transferal/execution of the Danganronpa style, as well as the user interface. The user interface is super busy and confusing for me.

Also, the characters are intense like usual but in a super weird way. Like...negatively? In DRTHH, they were all extreme in a way normal teens could be. Instead, they feel like...superheroes. Like, their whole talents are pushed too hard. In SDR2, they were still extreme but in an, again, rather normal way.

I just seriously love the characters though. I think it's a good game, but you can't play it and expect an experience like the original series. You can only really play it and do your best to not compare it at all.

#asks #mod hop #long post #hmm #incest mention #danganronpa spoilers #ndrv3 spoilers #drv3 spoilers #SORRY I HAVE. A LOT TO SAY. IM SUPER TALKATIVE

[noonewouldlisten25]

HI I GOT TAGGED FOREVER AGO BY @derpyflowergarden AND @gauntletknight AND HAVE BEEN SO BUSY I FORGOT TO POST. OOPS 🤣

1-Why Did You Choose Your URL

Looking at it now, I realize it sounds edgy as hell. However! When I picked it, it was just because "No One Would Listen" was my favorite song from the 2004 adaption of "Phantom of the Opera." The 25 at the end is cause I had done the math and figured it would have been about the 25th song on the album had it not been cut.

2-Any Side Blogs

•An active selfship blog I refuse to give the name to 😂

•A semi-active incorrect Star Wars blog

•A dead WWE Imagines Blog

•And a dead blog that was just a place for me to vent when my mom passed

3-How Long Have You Been On Tumblr

I wanna say since 2015?

4-Do You Have A Queue Tag?

I have never used to the Queue a day in my life so...

5-Why Did You Start Your Blog In The First Place?

I REALLY don't remember-I wanna say it was to look at some Hetalia art and I couldn't explore this artist's blog without an account?

6-Why Did You Choose Your Icon/PFP?

It was made for me by @gauntletknight cause I think I'm fucking hilarious. The background is the Omni pride flag. Ace is my favorite One Piece character-but I'm also asexual. So it's an OmniAce icon :D

7-Why Did You Choose Your Header?

Although I haven't been active in the Black Butler fandom FOREVER, but Snake is my favorite character and my header is my all time FAVORITE panel of him.

8-What's Your Post With The Most Notes?

I think the one where I said I wanted to be as petty as Nickelodian was over the Super Bowl/Sweet Victory fiasco

9-How Many Mutuals Do You Have?

No clue ouo

10-How Many Followers Do You Have?

594 :o

11-How Many People Do You Follow?

3007...I need to weed the inactive ones out 😅

12-Have You Ever Made A Shitpost?

90% of my posts are shit posts :D

13-How Often Do You Use Tumblr Each Day?

Honestly, if I'm on my phone, I'm probably on Tumblr.

14-Did You Have Another Fight/Argument With Another Blog Once?

While I wouldn't say a full fight, I made a comment on a post before how my generation shouldn't have to go into debt just to go to school//better ourselved, and I got a fucking ESSAY of hate.

I told them to fuck off and blocked them :D

15-How Do You Feel About "You Need To Reblog This" Posts?

EDUCATE DON'T GUILT TRIP.

16-Do You Like Tag Games?

Mhmm!

17-Do You Like Ask Games?

I don't get asks for ask games much, but I like when I do!

18-Which Of Your Mutuals Do You Think Is Tumblr Famous?

I don't wanna bother them, so I'm not gonna actually tag. BUT!

@Gauntletknight @Pompadorbz @Derpyflowergarden and @Fallenstarace

19-Do You Have A Crush On A Mutual

My secret uwu

Tag Someone!

(*holds post out to anyone who wants to!*)

#tag game #me #shut up haley

[curiousconch]

Lions on the Prowl

Chapter 7 of Ricochet (An Open Heart AU)

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: Bryce and Rafael go on the hunt to unravel the sinister truth, hoping that what is revealed leads to Heather.

Pairing: Rafael Aveiro x MC (Dr. Heather Song) | Bryce Lahela x MC (Dr. Heather Song)

Words: 1.8k+ | Genre: Crime, Suspense/Thriller, Romance

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / language, violence

Author's Notes: As promised, here's chapter 7. It has minor references to canon, but I did some tweaks to fit the overall storyline. Thank you so much for taking time to read this series. Please let me know if you want me to include/remove you in the tags list. Also, disclaimer: Majority of the characters are owned by Pixelberry, except the main character Heather Song and an OC Jordan Anderson.

Bryce slipped his phone into the pocket of his suit after his call with Rafael. He got into his car and punched the coordinates of his destination, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for the GPS to load. Once he heard the first set of directions, he turned on the ignition and drove off. As the miles went by, he began to map out his strategy to interrogate the person who started it all - Travis Perry.

After half an hour, he was let into the maximum security facility. He went through the strict visitor SOP before he was led into a small room, devoid of anything cheerful. He tried his best to shake off the inherent thoughts he had about Heather's current situation, focusing instead at the matter at hand. Several minutes passed before he heard a click and the door opened, revealing a dank and skinny figure.

When Travis realized who was visiting, he rolled his eyes.

Bryce watched as he sat down while his handcuffs was hooked at a protruding hole in the center of the table. He waited for the guard to step outside before he leaned forward, switching into full-on lawyer mode.

"You better tell me what you know now, Perry."

Travis smirked, looking ominous.

"Desperate much, are you, ADA Lahela?" he leaned back, slouching. "Why come to me so early on in the game?"

The answer was easy, he was desperate. Every passing minute that Heather was missing reduces the possibility of finding her alive. He knew that much. And Bryce was willing to risk anything to see her breathing again. Even endangering his career or his dignity.

"You know very well why I'm here, Travis," his fingers ran up his blue tie, loosening it a little, hoping that he was playing his cards right. Bryce knew Perry's confidence came from the knowledge that he had nothing left to lose. He can't put him at fault though, his sentence were pretty much signed, sealed and delivered. However, the ADA didn't expect him to give up anything without a fight. He was the criminal who attempted to kill a senator, after all. So he came prepared.

Bryce shook his head, sneering back, a finger pressed lightly on his chin.

"Travis, Travis, Travis..." he stood up, circling around the prisoner like a lion on a prowl. "Aren't you forgetting something? I'm just a man who can offer you something that is going to be very hard to turn down," he stopped once he stood directly behind his prey. He then crouched down and leaned forward, his smug face inches away from Perry's. "So, you interested?"

Perry hissed, a look of disdain overcoming his previously confident composure.

"I thought so," Bryce smiled, satisfied. His work wasn't done yet though. He put the tips of his fingers together, pulling back so he can continue to prance around. It was the signature Lahela move.

This was a signal to anyone beyond enemy lines that Prosecutor Bryce got you in his grasp. That's why they call him magic hands.

"You better start talking then. Clock is ticking," he returned to stand opposite him, the palm of his hands pressed flatly on the metal table. "Well, that is, if you choose to cooperate."

The perp he worked laboriously to convict fell into a contemplative silence. Bryce watched intently, as Travis closed his eyes and took deep breaths before sitting back up, determined not to say a thing.

"I take it you don't want to talk then?" Bryce pursed his lips in an attempt of mockery. "Why? Suddenly grown a conscience after being caged for a few months? Wanna make Jonathan proud?"

At the mention of his younger brother, Perry abruptly stood up causing his chains to rattle against metal. He lost control, as he screamed to the young ADA's face.

When he lost his steam, Travis eventually backed down looking pleased with himself as he found Bryce's stunned expression.

"You will never catch him! Jordan is more cunning and more capable than any of you pieces of shit!" Travis roared, startling Bryce. "You're all just as worthless as that fucking senator! You think you're so different? Well guess what, you're all the same!"

For a few long moments, Bryce did seem like someone who just lost a battle. The convict sat down and pressed the button under the table to call in his escort. But before anyone came back in to get him, the cunning golden boy mimicked his movements and stared back at him.

"Well, thank you, for your kind assistance," Bryce said quietly as a guard entered and uncuffed Perry. Travis looked back at him, puzzled. He was ordered to stand up, and when he was about to leave the room, Bryce quirked a brow, his lips twisting into a smirk of a cheshire cat.

The mouse just fell into the trap.

"Jordan, huh? I wonder who that is."

Perry's face drained of all color. Bryce chortled in reply before he continued his celebratory address.

"And since you didn't agree on anything, I'll consider it an early holiday gift that doesn't need to be repaid," the lawyer brushed back his hair and stood up, straightening his dark grey suit. With a shrill scream, the heavy metal door closed upon Travis Perry's face, leaving Bryce alone in the room. He waited for a few moments, fixing his tie, then walked back out to the correctional's office.

One more thing before we're done here.

He requested for Perry's files, browsing through his phone records and visitor logs for the past 6 months. When he turned to the third page, he found exactly what he was looking for. Bingo. He fist bumped the air, then took pictures of the pages where he found the matching name. As he set out to collect the rest of his belongings, he quick dialed Rafael and reported his findings.

"We have a name," he walked back to his parked car and got in, turning the ignition on. "It's Jordan Anderson. Look for any records related to him and how he connects with Travis Perry, I'm coming over." he backed up the car out to the road and drove to town.

Hold on, Heather. We're coming for you.

***

Rafael reopened Perry's files for the tenth time since tonight after he ended his call with Bryce. It was a breakthrough, after hours of not being able find anything of value since the investigation started. The name didn't ring any bells, but he was confident he's going to find something. He had to.

Before he closed the file another time, he read a single phrase in the page about Travis Perry's family background. There it was listed:

Parents: Theodore Perry (Deceased), Jenny Perry (deceased)

Siblings: Jonathan Perry (deceased), foster brother (presumed alive, identity unknown)

He highlighted the two words - foster brother.

Is this him? Did we find the kidnapper?

He beckoned the agent beside him who was poring over Farrugia's phone logs. "Marshall, can you find out if Travis' parents took in kids for foster care?"

The agent nodded and opened the application for the National Foster Care directory. Raf watched as he browsed per county, directing him to a site containing Boston's list. Time seemed to slow down for Rafael as Agent Marshall typed in the parents names into the search criteria. He pressed enter, and together they watched the loading icon, as the app attempted to pull up any matching records.

After an excruciatingly long 10 minutes, the application displayed a single name: Jordan Anderson.

This was the solid lead they needed.

He directed half of his team to find anything they could regarding Jordan Anderson. One by one, they pooled in the data and eventually created the most accurate biography of the man who just became Boston's most wanted.

Raf asked for his image to be emailed to the IT guys to run facial recognition on surveillance footage around Edenbrook and Bryce's condo, marking it as urgent. He approached the whiteboard, and began to write a summary of what they knew so far:

JORDAN PETER ANDERSON

* Foster brother of Travis Perry

* Aged 29

* Last known address: Everett, MA

* Last known occupation: Maintenance Crew, Stintson and Co. Cleaning Agency

* Criminal records: Juvenile detention for Shoplifting, illegal drug use, stalking, trespassing

He also listed down the number of restraining orders issued against him, painting a picture of a long history of offenses and a troubled life. He read the accompanying material that they were able to dig in the last half hour and built a psychological profile of the suspect.

Several minutes after, ADA Lahela walked into the room. Bryce nodded to him, before perusing the bulleted points on the board. "This is good work," the prosecutor said.

Raf handed him some of the printouts, allowing him to make his own analysis. The special agent began to discuss his.

"He appears to have a close bond with his foster family, seeing that he didn't move out of Massachusetts. As to how much contact he had with Travis, we're uncertain yet," Rafael said.

With that, Bryce pulled up the pictures he took at the correctional facility. He showed it to Raf.

"There were several rows of the same number in the call logs starting a few months back, starting on the day Perry was transferred," Bryce pointed at the records in contention before proceeding. "So I trailed a pattern. I tried looking at the days when that same number didn't appear in the call logs and looked at the visitor records instead. The name Jordan Anderson came up every single time."

"We received a tip!" an agent stood up and approached the two conferring men, interrupting their discussion. "Apparently, Dr. Song called for a car to bring her to the airport this morning. The driver waited in front of ADA Lahela's complex and was about to leave when he saw a suspicious guy in an overall leaving a side entrance. He was carrying a black luggage bag and a woman who the driver thought as drunk. The woman matched her description."

They shared a look, prompting them into action. Rafael pulled up his phone to dial the surveillance room, but before he could, it pinged for an incoming email. It was from an anonymous sender. It contained a video file attachment. He tapped the play button.

It was a dash cam footage. The first few seconds were dim, but it wasn't long before a black car pulled up into the empty road. The vehicle stopped, a male figure emerged from the driver's seat. He opened the backseat door and there was Heather, limp and unconscious, being dragged by a man who shared the same face as the picture in the printouts. Both men's breathing hitched.

The video finished playing when they heard another ping. It was another email from the same sender. This time, it only contained a single line:

24th Avenue, Panacea Pharmaceutical Boston Tower.

"Panacea? Why does that sound familiar?" Bryce questioned, frowning.

"Panacea, as in the Panacea Labs?" the agent inputted, looking at each of them. "Panacea Labs partnered last year with Edenbrook and Mass Kenmore, prompting the construction of a new office downtown. But the company was shut down due to ethical and regulatory violations, halting the project. It was never finished."

"Can someone put up a recent image from 24th Avenue?"

Another agent walked up to them, showing his laptop screen.

There in the image was a faint sign, Construction Ongoing. Underneath it was the word Panacea.

Rafael raised his phone beside the computer, comparing the still frame from the video.

There it was, at the upper left side, the same sign and the same word.

At that moment, both men knew they were only scratching the surface. But they can deal with that later.

Right now, they knew where Heather was. And it's about damn time they get her back.

Taglist @ramsey-lahela @eleanorbloom @choicesficwriterscreations for Fics of the Week

#open heart #open heart fanfiction #rafael aveiro #bryce lahela #choices fanfiction #play choices #choices #open heart 2 #open heart au #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week

[darlinrogue]

“ sometimes i realize one day i could die, i could just disappear and the world would be none the wiser. there’d be no one to miss me and that terrifies me more than death itself. ” — kenny @ adam!

It’s All Down Hill From Here Ya’ll

Adam and Kenny || @ofgrief

Adam woke-up with the hangover of a lifetime. A whole ass construction crew wedged inside his cranium going to demolition town. Big, sweaty, muscly guys with jackhammers, wrecking balls, and heavy machinery. For some stupid reason he left the curtain open last night. Morning light spilled into the room and stabbed his eyeballs with serrated knives. Adam groaned and rolled over. He pressed his face into the pillow. His body ached, his head hurt, he was nauseous, and he kinda had to pee— shit, he hadn’t woken-up like this in a minute. Someone needed to shut-up their phone, the incessant chiming was getting on his last nerve. Then it hit him. That was his phone and his alarm going off at God’s forsaken hour of six-thirty. 

Adam slapped at the nightstand. He smacked the shit out of the alarm clock and knocked his car keys to the floor, no phone. Adam weathered the agony of lifting his head-up enough to look and hear the blasted thing beneath him. He slid halfway out of the bed and clawed at the floor beneath the headboard. Then, bingo, his hand closed around the phone and he pressed the power button to shut it up. With most of his upper body hanging off the mattress, Adam crumpled to the floor. His calves tangled with the blankets and he dragged the sheets clean off the bed with him. Flopped against the carpet, he massaged the bridge of his nose. There was a black hairband around his wrist and he had no clue where it came from. Adam yanked back his tangled, frizzy hair into a ponytail to get it out of his eyes. He laid there, blithe and numb, letting incoherent thoughts skim the surface of his consciousness. Bit-by-bit, Adam reconstructed the past twenty-four hours and it was enough to make him laugh. 

Damn, he was good.  

Eager to bask in a rare accomplishment, Adam turned his attention to his phone. He blinked and wiped the grit from his eyes as the screen flicked to life. He had one text message in his notifications. Kenny Omega, at a little past midnight texted him: [Wanna hang out?]

Adam let that time bomb tick as he unlocked his phone and checked Twitter instead. He searched Matt Hardy and perused the iconic’s Twitter feed. Another grin cracked Adam’s face down the middle. Hardy had no idea. That little task of self aggrandization done, Adam opened the messaging app. He stared at the screen and the little bubble of text from Kenny. Absent-minded, Adam reached down and yanked his belt off— only now realizing he never took it off. Then he answered Kenny’s question with a question.

[Got anything in mind?]

He paused, tongue running over his lips. Then, he untangled his legs from the sheets and blankets. Adam pushed to his feet and stumbled across the room to his bag on the desk. Inside he found Advil and a flask of whiskey. He washed the pain medicine down with a generous swig of alcohol. Adam coughed, beating on his chest to clear his dry throat. On the way to the bathroom he stripped out of his jeans. While brushing his teeth, his phone chimed. Adam spat into the sink and leaned over to read Kenny’s reply.

[My place. Dinner at six?] 

Okay, so that wasn’t ‘hanging-out.’ In Adam’s book, ‘hanging-out’ with Kenny was playing video games or going to an arcade. Maybe they’d work-out, train and drill in the ring, sit around the hotel room and watch movies. All the little things they did as a tag-team to kill time on the road or between matches. What Kenny proposed sounded like a —dare Adam say it— a date. Like two adults, sitting down over a candle-lit table, and talking about serious things for a couple of hours. Which, it was Kenny, so not a big deal, but at the same time, it was Kenny, which was a big deal. 

Since, November their relationship had been stuck in this weird, strange, gray, Twilight-Zone that was neither friendship or anything else. Cuddling in bed or on a couch, flirting, lingering too close, heady with physical desire, and softened by intimacy. Stablemates were always close, stuck on buses and planes for hours together enforced liking someone. Kenny and Adam had seen each other at the worst, at their best. This thing went beyond that. They were friends, tag-partners for a period, all they had left, and yet, nothing at all. Adam could ask Kenny: ‘What the fuck are we?’ If he thought he’d get a straight answer.

Unwilling to unpack all that, Adam dressed to work-out. He left his hotel room and started down the stairs to the lobby. He thought about dinner at six. Today’s original plan was to drive seven hours back to North Carolina, shooting straight-up I-95 along the coast. If Adam left after breakfast he’d be back in the afternoon. Staying another evening in Jacksonville wasn’t a big deal. Such were the benefits of a lonely bachelor life. A neighborhood girl usually took care of Adam’s dogs on Wednesdays. He could call her, offer a generous tip, and get another night. Around the sixth floor landing, he yanked his phone out of his pocket and gave Kenny his answer. 

[Sure, I’ll bring milk and beer. Give me your address.]

Down in the hotel gym he started his work-out, running through reps with almost memorized, mechanical ease. While Adam counted bicep curls, his phone chimed and he glanced at it long enough to see that Kenny had sent the address. Between sets, Adam popped the address into Google Maps. The house was a little over a half-hour drive away on Pointe Verde Beach, just outside of Jacksonville. Strange, because Adam had no memory of Kenny owning a house in or around Jacksonville. He heard whisper of a house near Orlando. He was vaguely aware that Kenny had stayed with Callis or Nakazawa a few times. Adam shuffled this mystery home off as another thing he just didn’t know about Kenny. He finished his work-out on the treadmill, running until endorphins blasted Kenny and the last of the hang-over from his brain. Adam returned to his hotel room to shower. 

While hot water rolled down his back and he scrubbed conditioner from his hair, Adam wondered after Kenny’s ulterior motives. Back in December Kenny made it clear what he wanted from Adam: sex. That wasn’t Adam’s own ego talking, that was straight out of the horse’s mouth. Kenny had said he wanted Adam to kiss him, touch him, and fuck him. That was what he said, almost verbatim. Adam was an adult. He spent a significant chunk of his twenties sexually active. He wasn’t shy or prudish, he had no hang-ups. He could do all the things Kenny wanted. Hell, he’d gladly do them, under the right circumstances. Provided Adam could negotiate the differences between male and female anatomy with any competence. Physical desire was absolutely a dimension of his attraction to Kenny. Except, he wasn’t sure if this was the right circumstances. The thought that Kenny was inviting Adam over to dinner for the sole purpose of propositioning him for sex, turned Adam’s stomach over. He cranked the water cold and sobered beneath the icy spray, jaw tight. He turned off the water and toweled off. Adam texted Kenny again. 

[Nak’s not going to be there, is he?]

Two seconds later, Kenny replied: 

[Nope, just us.]

And to keep some kinda banter, Adam texted him back, hoping that the words read as teasing.

[No Callis, either?]

[lmao no he’s in Tennessee doing Impact crap for the PPV. He left this morning.]

And Adam hadn’t felt this nervous about being alone with Kenny since the first time they played Mario Tennis with Chase Owens. Because shit, he’d been stringing Kenny along for months now. Sure, Callis had been a consistent cock block, but Adam wouldn’t pretend he and Kenny weren’t playing some kinda game. A no-rules, Calvinball-Esque, game with moving goalposts. There were no boundaries because Kenny and Adam never set any. That would imply proper and honest communication. All of it was impromptu and they were living on a prayer that neither of them stepped on any toes. In a way, Daily’s place was a blessing. The presence of others acted as a natural check-and-balance on Kenny and Adam’s weird dynamic. So long as they didn't talk about it, didn't acknowledge the elephant in the room, everything was fine. An evening alone felt like cutting the breaks. It wasn’t that Adam feared having sex with Kenny or Kenny outright trying to jump his bones. It wasn’t that he didn’t want that, or that he hadn’t thought about it. 

It was just that he wanted more.

Call him a sap, but Adam loved Kenny and he wanted Kenny to love him too. He wanted to go on dates. He wanted to wake-up in the same bed in the morning and to kiss Kenny awake. He wanted the small pleasure of fixing breakfast for both of them. Even to do the dishes together and all the boring domestic tasks of day-to-day life. To talk about how their days went but also to exist in quiet intimacy. He wanted to walk down the street holding Kenny’s hand. To drop casually in conversations, “My boyfriend Kenny—” To argue, make-up, and do better next time, all of it. And they were so off the rails because Adam was afraid that saying ‘no’ to Kenny in any capacity would kill what little they had. The what-ifs piled in Adam’s brain. Kenny using him for sex and then never talking to him again. Kenny telling him off for introducing more emotion that was necessary to a physical relationship. Kenny letting Adam know that he had finally moved on from his hot cowboy tag-partner and he won’t be needed anymore. The moment Kenny figured-out that he wasn’t going to get what he wanted from Adam— was the moment Adam lost him. 

Adam ate breakfast at the hotel hot bar. He had yogurt, an orange, eggs, and some links of sausage. He arranged for an extra night at the hotel and texted the girl who took care of his dogs. Then he got hustled by said teenager for almost twice the usual rate because she had, ‘lots of homework.’ Adam couldn’t complain because he was honestly kinda proud. She’d make a great carny one day. With not much else to do in Jacksonville, he left the hotel to go shopping. Adam had only packed for one night and not for a maybe-date with Kenny. He bought a white button down at a clothing store. Then, stopped by an uptown grocery store to buy 2% milk and local IPAs. Adam spent about three minutes lingering by a display of pre-arranged bouquets at the store, wondering if flowers would be too much. He walked away from the display, walked back, almost walked away again, stopped, and then stared a little longer. His hand fluttered by his side and before he could stop himself, Adam grabbed a bouquet of yellow flowers. Shit, he was an idiot. 

He thought, as the cashier rang him up, that Kenny was going to laugh at him. 

He took a lunch break at a small Mexican hole-in-the-wall because his diet was shot to hell today and he’d just have to admit it. Back at the hotel, he did his second work-out, showered again, and then realized he had three whole hours to kill. Three hours to get dressed, fuss over his hair, sit around, stare at the dumb flowers he bought, and consider if waterboarding would be a more or less effective form of torture. He scrolled Twitter, did some Duolingo. His body was tense, a live wire, his heart pounding. Adam left thirty minutes early and so took a twenty-minute detour, just to kill time. All so he wouldn’t look like a complete, desperate dweeb— showing-up early and with flowers? That would be way too much. 

The house was situated in an upscale, rich and retired, suburb nestled by the ocean. It was smaller, blander than the two, three story beach homes that towered around it, with their sparse lawns and obnoxious, pastel colors. It was a one-story, Spanish-style home with a brown roof and off-white siding. Palm trees and shaped topiary decorated the well-tended front yard. The sun back dropped the city to the West, burning gold. The angles of light painted the thin, sparse clouds pink, purple, and orange creamsicle. Adam parked in the driveway in front of the garage. He stepped out of his car and the wind, tasting of salt, pulled at his hair. Between the neighbor’s fence and the sand dunes, he caught sight of the Atlantic. The waves rolled and churned, edged by white foam-like lace. Adam walked around to the other side of the car. On the floorboards were the milk and beer, and on the passenger seat were the flowers. His hands trembled and his heart thudded against his chest like a hammer. Do or die, he had to commit now— fuck it, life was short and that bouquet was like twenty bucks. He tucked the beers under his arm, picked-up the milk in one hand, and the flowers in the other, 

Adam walked up to the front porch and used his elbow to ring the bell. Before Adam even retracted his hand, the door opened. Kenny stood on the other side of the threshold. His hair was yanked back into a loose ponytail at the nape of his neck. Flour dusted his pink t-shirt across the chest. Adam’s eyes drifted down to khaki shorts and the loafers he wore without any socks. For a brief second, Kenny stared at Adam, also giving him a once-over. Adam hesitated, trying to decide if he should give Kenny the flowers or put something down to offer a handshake— like a dork. He managed neither before Kenny cussed. 

“Son of a bitch, you dressed nice, shit, stay there.” Kenny pointed at Adam to indicate where he should 'stay.' Then, Kenny vanished into the house, leaving the door ajar. Adam gaped, brow furrowed and blinking like an owl. A Gregorian choir in his brain chanted, ‘dork, dork, massive dork!’ 

Kenny hadn’t come back by the time Adam processed his absence. So, he took the first step over the threshold. “Uh, Kenny? I’m coming in?” Adam called, to no reply. 

The inside of the house had a blandly typical beach house vibe. White walls, seashell decor, stock paintings of the ocean, and blue accents. There was a wood sign on the entry hall wall that read: Happiness comes in waves. To his left was the kitchen, a large space, with expansive white countertops and black appliances. There were a few bowls and dishes left out, with signs of being used. The sink was to put it lightly, a wreck, filled with utensils, cutting boards, and knives. Adam put the milk and beer in the fridge. Then noted that the dining room table was set. Each place had a gleaming crimson plate. No forks or knives, just chopsticks. A drinking glass for water. Kenny even had even folded the cloth napkins. All set on a black placemat. Adam wandered on into the rest of the house in search of Kenny. Connected to the dining room was the living room. Tall windows on the East wall allowed an expansive view over the pool, yard, and ocean. The sliding glass back door had been left cracked, to allow the cool and brisk breeze in. Adam pushed his hands into his pockets and soaked in the ocean at sunset. 

Footsteps echoed down the far hall. Kenny passed the living room doorway, on the way to the kitchen. He caught Adam out of the corner of his eye and pulled back, changing direction at the last second. Kenny smiled and spread his arms wide so Adam could admire new outfit. He’d changed into dark jeans, a red v-neck, and a black blazer. Still in the loafers, Adam noted, but that was just part of the Kenny charm. 

“Better, right?” Kenny asked. He did a full turnaround and then jaunted over to Adam. He smoothed the lapel of his blazer down. “I didn’t give you a dress code, so I packed something nice to wear just in case. Didn’t wanna feel awkward in khakis, ya know?”

“Yeah, you look good,” Adam agreed, returning Kenny’s grin. They diverted their gaze to the floor together. Adam, trying to find something to say, exaggerated a  look around the house. “Is this your uh, home?”

“Nope! I rented it on Air BnB,” Kenny said, proudly. “I’ve never used the app before, but it found this pretty sweet crib, so I’m impressed. A little pricey maybe, but for an evening, just for us? Worth it, I’d say.”

Adam heard Kenny but he couldn’t think of a response. It hit him that the food on the counter, the set table, the entire house, pointed-to one thing. Kenny had planned this. He had to look for a house, find one, pay for it, plan a menu, buy food, bring tableware, find time. He had planned this at personal expense. He had put real thought into setting-up a dinner for him and Adam.  This wasn’t some off-the-cuff idea. The only improvised part about this was inviting Adam himself. And to think, Adam thought Kenny only wanted to Netflix and chill. 

“I, uh, I got you these,” Adam stammered. He held out the flowers to Kenny. “Just, a housewarming, gift, I guess for — for you.”

“Oh, you did, thank you, Cowboy,” Kenny smiled, he took the bouquet from Adam. He hesitated, awkwardly gripping the plastic casing of the flowers. 

“I guess, you can put it in some water?” Adam suggested. He scratched at the back of his head. 

“Yeah, right, good idea,” Kenny nodded, he stepped back from Adam, lingered for a second, and then headed to the kitchen. 

Adam followed Kenny and while Kenny tore through the cabinets in search of a vase, Adam took a second look. Beside the stove were three white bowls with flour, eggs, and panko crumbs. On the burner sat a large, cast-iron pot filled several inches deep with cooking oil. A thermometer rested beside the burner. Kenny exclaimed, “ah-ha,” When he came up with a vase. He filled it with water and settled the flowers in. Brow furrowed he poked a couple daisies upright. Kenny set the vase with the flowers in the middle of the table, as an impromptu centerpiece.

“There, that livens-up the place,” Kenny said, putting his hands on his hips. He smiled at Adam and the ocean, through the windows behind him, framed his face. His eyes bluer than the sea and Adam only just noticed he didn’t have his glasses on. Instead, the glasses were hooked in the pocket of his blazer. Adam was invited here, talking with Kenny, about to have dinner, and his trepidation only grew.

“Is this all for us?” Adam asked, he leaned against the kitchen doorway and shoved his hand in his pocket. With his other he gestured broadly at everything. 

“Yeah, I thought it would be nice?” Kenny admitted, it was his turn to shrug. “Just us, for once. We haven't gotten to spend a lot of time together recently and there's some, some things I wanted to talk to you about. Stuff that's— that's better here maybe than at Daily’s Place. Is it too much?”

Kenny looked bashful, his smile soft, peering at Adam, his hand working over the back of a chair. It was nervous and sweet, open in a way that Adam hadn’t seen in months. Words were hard, but pushing off the doorpost and walking over to Kenny was easier. For a second, Adam’s hands hovered between them, and then he hooked his fingers beneath Kenny’s lapel. Kenny giggled and rested his forehead against Adam’s, his breath tickling Adam’s bottom lip. 

“It’s perfect,” Adam murmured. He untangled from Kenny’s jacket and slid his hands down Kenny’s sides until Adam held his hips. Adam pushed his palms against the jut of Kenny's bone, “What's for dinner, chef Kenny?”

Kenny giggled and gripped at Adam’s hands. “Well, I was thinking,” he glanced back at the kitchen, “I’d make us Tonkatsu, you know, those pork cutlets you get in Japan, with the breading and cabbage? I haven’t had any in a while and it’s one of my favorite dishes. And I ordered sushi, and dessert, from a couple local places—”

“So, you’re cooking?” Adam asked, he quirked an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, what’s so bad about that? I can cook,” Kenny protested. He pulled back from Adam and moved into the kitchen. Adam returned to his position by the doorpost as Kenny rummaged in the fridge. He pulled-out a bag of plastic boxes and then a platter of salted pork. Kenny rolled his eyes, “Don’t tell me you’re afraid I’ll burn it? I promise only a little singe, for flavor. I mean it’s Tonkatsu, grade school children can make it.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Adam laughed, he lifted his hands to placate Kenny. “It’s just, you never hit me as the cooking type. Order in and dine-out always seemed more your style.”

Kenny stuck his tongue out at Adam. He laughed though and turned the stove on to heat the oil. The plastic bag crinkled as Kenny sorted through small platters of elegant sushi and laid each on the counter. “We can eat this while the oil heats. I wish I had a nicer serving tray but I didn’t think to bring one, and this house doesn’t have one— I looked. Oh, and I don’t know how you feel about it, but I got some sake too. It’s in the fridge. Do you like it hot? I’ve never had it, so, I don’t know what’s better.”

“Man, I don’t even know,” Adam said. He never liked the flavor of sake —too dry for his taste— so he’d let the discussion drop and hope that was better than rejecting Kenny’s offer. Adam walked over to help Kenny carry the sushi to the table. “I got you milk, though, two percent. I uh— put it in the fridge.”

“Oh, hell yeah,” Kenny smiled.  

While Kenny removed the covers from the sushi, Adam fetched his meager contributions to the meal. He returned with the gallon of milk and an IPA. Adam poured Kenny a tall glass of milk and Kenny poured Adam’s beer. Teeth buried in his bottom lip, like this task was monumental, Kenny dumped the bottle into the glass. By the time the bubbles fizzed down, Adam’s ‘beer’ was mostly air. It was the thought that counted and Kenny looked pleased. Before sitting down himself, Kenny pulled-out Adam’s chair for him. Adam muttered his thanks and sat down. Kenny took his place on the opposite side of the table and used his chopsticks to divvy up the sushi pieces between them. 

“Where’d you get this?” Adam asked. 

“Sushiko, a small place by the river, Cody recommended it,” Kenny said. “It’s a nice little restaurant and we’re by the coast so the seafood is fresh. I mean it’s not really, authentic, but that’s hard to get in America anyway.”

“Yeah, but it’ll be good,” Adam countered. “Do you want the ginger?”

“Nah, you can have it,” Kenny said, to punctuate his point he picked up a heap of the ginger and plopped it onto Adam’s plate. “Do you remember how to use the chopsticks? It hasn’t been that long since you were last in Japan, right?”

“I order take-out once a month to keep my skills sharp,” Adam promised. He picked-up the chopsticks by his plate. Then, took the ends and stuck them beneath his top lip like a walrus, “Goes like this right?”

Kenny laughed, hand lifting to cover his mouth as his shoulders shook with racks of giggles. Adam smiled and wiped off his chopsticks with his napkin. It was the kinda joke he’d crack when he was ten, on the rare occasion his parents took the family out to eat. His sister would find it hilarious, his father and mother less so. Yet, it seemed to amuse Kenny to no end, and all that bashful shyness was gone when the laughter subsided. 

“Yeah, close enough,” Kenny said, waving his hand. “Here you should try the tempura roll, it’s my favorite of all the inaccurate American sushis.”

Kenny picked up a piece of sushi with his chopsticks and offered it over the table for Adam to try. Adam didn’t point out that he already had a piece of that type on his plate. He only leaned forward and opened his mouth so Kenny could feed him the sushi. Adam bit down and savored the taste of shrimp, rice, and crunchy breading. 

“It’s good,” he said, nodding and humming his approval.

“Isn’t it?” Kenny asked, he jammed a roll with avocado in his mouth and grinned, pleased. “It’s kinda cliché, but I love this stuff.” 

Adam took a sip from his beer to wash down the rice gummed behind his teeth.

“I’ve always meant to ask,” Kenny said, he pointed with his chopsticks at the beer. “Do you... like that stuff?”

“Beer? Yeah, pretty well, it’s not my favorite drink,” Adam admitted. He ate another piece of sushi and chewed through his thoughts. “It has to be a good beer, the cheap crap isn’t worth the calories. Pleases the hell out of a crowd though.”

“Yeah, don’t you have to drive back?” Kenny’s brow furrowed. 

Adam laughed, “A beer or two isn’t going to send me over, Kenny. It's not like liquor, it's a much lower alcohol content. I probably won't even feel the buzz, especially drinking on food. By the time I leave, I'll be close to zero. I try to keep track of my limits these days, and you know, it’s hard to be no carb and take shots.”

“Trainers got you on no carb?” Kenny asked, with a lifted brow. It was a quick change of topic and Adam appreciated the tact. 

“Yeah, have been for a while now, it’s probably better that way,” Adam shrugged. “You know not all of us shred fat like you.”

“Well, that’s not so easy these days,” Kenny admitted. “Not all of us are as young as you.”

“Hey, a few months and I’ll be thirty,” Adam pointed-out. “Or like, twenty-four by Cody’s metric, something like that.”

“You can’t say that being youngest wasn’t a good shake,” Kenny said. “You never had to pay for anything.”

“Just all the ribbing,” Adam grinned.

Adam popped some ginger in his mouth and waggled his eyebrows for emphasis. Kenny was all grins and the smiles were a relief. This wasn’t a total cluster fuck and Adam hadn’t said something to screw-up the mood. This was going much better than his anxiety allowed him to anticipate. A pause to eat lulled the conversation to a brief silence. Yet, Adam could tell by the way Kenny studied his Philadelphia roll, there was something on his mind. 

“So, uh, last night,” Kenny said, he placed his elbow on the table. “Did you sign a contract with Matt Hardy? Did I interpret that segment correctly? I was preparing for my match so I wasn’t really paying attention, but—”

Adam paused, chopsticks halfway to his mouth, and then he grinned. “I did.”

“Did you read that contract?” Kenny probed. “Listen, I know you and Hardy go back but I’m not sure you should trust that guy, Page. He’s a bit of a carny— I mean his gimmick is ‘Big Money Matt.’ That has got to be a warning sign. I know Matt and Nick brought him in by burying his vessel or whatever, but he’s changed a lot since the Stadium Stampede. He’s got the whole, I guess split personality thing going on?”

“Oh, I read the contract I signed,” Adam nodded. He savored the taste of a Dragon roll, fishy and popping with acidity. “Hardy didn’t, but I did.”

“Oh, really,” Kenny waxed, he pressed his finger tips to his chin. “Something you wanna fill me in on?”

“Yeah, I switched the contracts,” Adam said. 

Kenny gasped, “You switched the contracts?! Oh, ho, Page, I knew you were smart, brilliant, tell me everything.”

“Well, I knew he was going to invite me to a bar, because he said so on Twitter,” Adam began. “Like, you said, I’ve known Matt for a while and he’s always been a dick. He was talking all about how I’m going to be some great star or the ‘top guy’ in AEW, or whatever, some bullshit, but I kinda figured his plan was to get me drunk and willing to sign something stupid.”

He leaned back in his chair, sipping on his beer and thinking. Adam couldn’t get why every other manager in AEW was salivating at the idea of getting him on their payroll. The Dark Order was trying to recruit him. Taz was talking about him. Matt Hardy seemed to think Adam was the second coming of Jesus. Adam assumed that he was so sought after because the actual best wrestler in AEW was already spoken-for. And Jon Moxley wasn’t the type to tolerate companionship. So, that left Adam Page. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. 

“So, I uh, had a little something prepared for him,” Adam shrugged. “I don’t think he’s figured it out yet, so like, don’t go spreading it around? Snitches get stitches, Kenny, and I mean it.”

“My lips are sealed,” Kenny promised. He pantomimed zipping-up his mouth, locking it, and throwing away the key. He leaned forward, hand bracing against the table. “But really, what was in the contract?’

“You wanna know?” Adam asked. 

“Yeah, I wanna know!” Kenny said. 

“Well, I’m not going to tell you,” Adam smirked. “You’ll just have to find-out with Matt Hardy and everyone else. I don’t wanna pop the surprise.”

“Aw, Pizz, you’re killing me, now that’s all I’m going to think about for the rest of the night!” Kenny laughed, he deflated into his chair. Then he bounced back, livened with an idea. “Oh, I know, you made it so you get a third of his merch sales? A half?! Man, that’s brutal. Ooh, I know what you should’ve done, what I would do? Make him your butler for a few weeks, that would be funny.”

Adam chuckled, cheeks flushed with amusement. All he did was shake his head and keep his mouth shut. Kenny gave-up, lifting his hands in a gesture of peace. While they ate, Kenny talked about the Women’s Title Eliminator tournament and all that went into organizing it. He seemed excited to debut the woman’s bracket next week. He promised that he had seen the matches, and they were, “fantastic.” In particular he was ecstatic about Aja Kong and Yuka progressing. Adam had no idea who Maki Itoh was beyond her Twitter, but Kenny was adamant she get a contract at some point. On his part Adam was happy to sit back —long after polishing off his own plate— and listen to Kenny, occasionally interjecting a question or an affirming, “mhm.” Eventually, Kenny got around to eating his last piece of sushi. His eyes darted beyond Adam’s shoulder and pushed himself to his feet to go check on the oil. 

Adam turned in his seat to watch Kenny in the kitchen. He was eyeing a thermometer dipped in the pot. Pleased with the temperature, he moved to start working with the meat. Kenny used a skewer to dip a pork cutlet into the flour, then egg, then back into the flour. Adam cleared the sushi plates from the table. He rinsed them in the sink. He cleaned a few other dishes, cutting boards, and knives, listening to Kenny complain about getting flour on his fingers. Adam put the dishes on the rack and dried his hands on a towel. He wandered to Kenny’s side. Kenny had coated two cutlets in panko crumbs and the breaded meat sat on a plate ready to go. He fiddled with the thermometer, brow furrowed in concentration. He adjusted the temperature on the stove and then gripped the pot handle to center it on the burner. He hissed when his hand touched hot metal. Kenny stuck his finger in his mouth. 

“Hot,” he breathed to Adam. 

“Yeah, no shit, go rinse it under the cold water,” Adam ordered. “Are you okay?”

“Just my pride,” Kenny said, as he ran his finger under the faucet and washed his hands of flour. “I thought I was going to be so cool, making Tonkatsu for you, and you’d be like, ‘wow, look at Kenny be a boss in the kitchen,’ and now I’m just kinda—”

He returned to the stove and looked at the simmering oil with particular trepidation. 

“Now, I’m just kinda nervous,” he admitted, smiling again. “Like, I don’t want to fuck this up and ruin the evening, or something.”

“Do you want help?” Adam asked.

“How heroic,” Kenny pined. “A cowboy come to save me.”

“Yeah, yeah, mostly I just don’t want the food burned,” Adam said, stepping to Kenny’s side. He nudged his hip against Kenny’s and picked-up a skewer. The task was simple, pick-up the two pieces of meat and plunge them into the boiling oil. Yet, when Adam did it, Kenny looked at him like he did something astounding. Adam handed the tongs to Kenny, “you can flip them on your own, right?”

“Pfft, I got that,” Kenny bragged, taking the utensil from Adam. He positioned himself, watching as bubbles formed around the meat. The panko browned to an appetizing gold. As the meat cooked, it exuded juices that caused the oil to spit. Kenny yelped, when some struck his arm, shifting behind Adam. “Unless it fights back?!”

“Aren’t you the guy who fought a G1 with a fractured heel?!” Adam snapped. “Don’t be a baby, it’s just oil, it’s not going to bite you! Get in there.”

Kenny patted Adam’s shoulder and shifted to plunge the tongs into the oil. He flipped both pieces of meat. Although, he held the tongs at the furthest extent to avoid oil splatter. Adam placed his hand on the small of Kenny’s back to hold him steady as they waited the last minute for the meat to finish. It was such a simple gesture but Kenny’s nerves seemed to evaporate under his touch. Kenny fished out the cutlets and placed them diagonally on a draining rack. The cooking done, Kenny kicked Adam out of the kitchen while he finished the rest of the meal. Adam returned to the dining table, sat down, and enjoyed his beer. The soothing melody of Kenny banging around behind him as background noise. 

A few minutes later, Kenny placed a plate in front of Adam. The cutlet had been sliced thin and fanned across the edge of the plate. A generous heap of shredded cabbage piled in the middle garnished with a slice of tomato and lemon. On the side were pickled radishes. The colors popped and the meat smelled delicious. Kenny laid a small container of pouring sauce between them on the table. Kenny sat down with his own plate across from Adam.

“This is so— great, Kenny,” Adam breathed, looking over the food. He picked-up his chopsticks and dove in for the Tonkatsu. It was juicy and savory, with a nice crunch. Adam groaned, “It tastes fantastic.”

“Thanks, I was worried about overcooking it, but with you at my side, it was easy,” Kenny said, he smiled. He poured some sauce on his cutlet. “We make a great team.” 

Adam focused on pinching some cabbage between his chopsticks, eyes casting down to the plate. “Yeah, I— I guess we do.”

“Hey, it was just an observation,” Kenny said, he nudged Adam’s foot under the table with his own. "It doesn't have to mean anything."

“No, no, it’s fine,” Adam said. He took a sip of beer but didn’t taste it. “You’re right, I was just thinking— I’ve tagged with a lot of people lately, and none of them are like you. You really are the best.”

“That’s sweet, cowboy,” Kenny grinned, but Adam sensed the need to change the conversation. Mourning the tag-team wasn’t uplifting for either of them. 

“So, where did you learn to make this?” Adam asked. He gestured at the Tonkatsu. “’Cause it’s really good. Not going to lie, that’s what I miss about Japan— the food. They just don’t have the same, I don’t know, style? Yeah, style, in America.”

“Well, I learned from one of the ladies I stayed with when I first moved to Japan in, 2008, well, kinda learned,” Kenny elaborated. He shrugged, “mostly I just watched her cook and sometimes she let me help. She always did the bits with the oil because she was afraid I’d burn myself. My Japanese wasn’t good back then but I’m pretty sure she thought I was just an idiot.”

“I mean, you can be a bit,” Adam paused. Kenny pressed his lips thin, so he picked his next word carefully, “ditzy?”

“I’ll give you that,” Kenny said. “I wouldn’t trust me around a big pot of boiling oil either. You handled yourself pretty well in there, though.”

“Deep fried is a staple food in the rural south," Adam said. "It's a survival skill, where I'm from. It's okay, Kenny, you can kick my ass Street Fighter, later, so that way we're even."

The conversation slowed so they could finish eating. Just the sounds of chewing and chopsticks clacking. It was good, the cabbage contrasting to the meat, and the sauce adding a hint of sweetness. It wasn't an awkward or uncomfy silence, Adam wasn't looking for an excuse to breach it. It was just them, together, enjoying the mutual company. When Adam finished eating, just to gross out Kenny, he picked up his plate and licked it clean. The gesture had the intended effect of making Kenny screw-up his nose and expression. Adam took his last swig of beer and then carried both their plates to the sink. Adam helped Kenny tidy-up the kitchen. Adam washed the dishes and Kenny dried, putting the plates away on the shelves. They moved around each other like this was something they did every night. Yet, each time Kenny’s elbow jostled Adam or he moved a step closer, a warm heat spread across Adam’s skin. It was dark outside when they finished and Kenny turned on lights in the house to illuminate the rooms. 

“You up for cake, cowboy?” Kenny asked as he returned. He took a box out from the fridge and finagled the lid open. Inside the box was a small, white cake decorated with vanilla icing, raspberries, and fancy swirls. Kenny smacked Adam’s hand away when he tried to taste the frosting. 

"Ow," Adam grunted. He cradled his hand to his chest.

“I didn’t really know what you liked, but everyone likes vanilla, so I figured I couldn't go wrong,” Kenny admitted as he took the cake out of the box. Adam got plates and a knife to cut with. Kenny stuck his tongue out as he sliced into the cake. It was obnoxiously cute. He pointed with the knife, “Is this big enough?”

“That’ll do it,” Adam said.

 Kenny sliced the cake and put a piece on a plate that he handed to Adam, then cut his own piece. The inner filling of the cake was a bright red raspberry and Adam hummed, eager. to try Kenny took a fork and cut off a small piece of his cake slice. He offered the morsel to Adam. Once again, Adam let Kenny feed him. It was sweet, with a delicate crumb, and acidic with the fruit. Kenny opened his mouth, making an ‘ah’ sound, to indicate he wanted Adam to return the gesture. Adam obliged, watching with fascination as Kenny’s lips closed around the fork. A speck of icing trapped at the corner of his mouth. Before he could stop himself, Adam leaned forward and kissed it off— grinning all the way back as Kenny’s cheeks flushed. 

“You remember when we tricked that waitress into giving us free cake?” Kenny asked. His eyes lit-up, to divert his attention though, he glanced down for another bite. “That was— fun.”

“I don’t think we tricked anybody,” Adam laughed. "I think the waitress knew what was up the whole damn time."

“What, we weren’t a convincing couple?” Kenny asked. The question so earnest, his voice so soft, that Adam almost dropped his plate. Deep in Kenny's eyes hid a kernel of curious probing. Like he was testing the waters. Wading-out waist high in a surging tide.

“I— um, I guess we were.” Adam ducked his head, but Kenny shoved at his shoulder and the tension dissipated. 

“I’m just teasing you, Hangers,” he laughed. “Eat your cake, before I do. Hey, I know, why don’t we go sit outside? C’mon.”

Kenny had already split off and so that settled it. Adam got a beer from the fridge and followed Kenny out the back door. At the edge of the pool was a small sitting area with chairs and a couch. The ocean crashed against the shore, loud and echoing in Adam's inner-ear. He felt the tide wearing away the sand in his teeth. Kenny sat down on the couch, tossing his phone on the coffee table. He crossed his legs up and finished off his cake. Adam joined him on the other side of the couch. They remarked on the flavors of the cake and speculated if the icing was cream cheese or not. Finished eating, Kenny put his plate down and lounged back against the cushions. 

Adam studied Kenny’s profile. His straight nose and angular jaw, the untamed stubble on his cheeks. His lips pink with red raspberries. In red and black, he looked marvelous. The wind tussling his curls. And his eyes, so scarce these days, holding every emotion Adam hoped to see reflected in them. Adam’s heart collided with the inside of his ribs. He took his last bite of cake and put aside the dishes. Then, for courage, he swigged on his beer and set that aside too. He leaned into the cushions, adjusting a pillow underneath his right elbow. 

“Hey,” he said, voice coarse and weak, the word lost to the ocean. Kenny looked at him, hearing him anyway, and Adam opened his arms wide, “What are you doing over there? Get your ass over here.”

Kenny slid over until he leaned against Adam’s side. Adam swung his legs up onto the couch and pulled Kenny against his chest. Kenny settled between his legs and Adam draped his arm over Kenny’s back. Something dislodged in Adam’s lungs and he breathed easy for the first time in months. Kenny sighed and pressed his cheek to Adam’s collarbone. His hand ran over Adam’s bicep. Adam reached over Kenny, picked-up his beer, and took another casual swig. Part of him regretted the alcohol because now his breath must smell like beer and cake. The other part of him needed it to function in this moment. 

Adam drew broad circles between Kenny’s shoulder blades, feeling each hard muscle, defined and strong beneath his hand. Kenny was warm in contrast to the cool night, like a little personal heater. Adam chuckled, content as he leaned back against the arm rest. Kenny turned his face into Adam’s chest and buried his nose into Adam’s shirt. He shuddered in Adam’s arms, a full body tremble working all the way down his spine. Adam lifted his hand to work his fingers through Kenny’s hair and curls. A little coarser now since he dyed it, black and silver. Adam didn’t know what else to say or think, or do. Didn’t know if this was Kenny using him for comfort or something more. If he was supposed to read between the lines, look for the fine text, or just be a quiet and good pillow. Maybe, he'd just pretend that the way Kenny clung to him was because of love. 

“I like your hair like this,” Adam mused. He ran his fingers through Kenny’s scalp. It was an easier question than: why did you bring me here? What do you want from me? What are we? 

“Thanks,” Kenny muttered. He turned his cheek to press against Adam’s chest. Adam considered that an improvement. 

“Are you okay?” He managed. 

Kenny sighed, shoulders heaving. He wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist and cinched in, holding him close. It was the total experience of being owned. That Adam was Kenny’s to have and hold onto. It was possessive in a way that thrilled Adam. That there were seven billion people on this planet and he was the one Kenny Omega invited to a rented house for dinner. Adam was the one who got to hold Kenny Omega, not anyone else. Adam was the one Kenny Omega wanted to be held by. It had to mean something. He wanted it to mean something. Please, let it mean something. 

“It’s just,” Kenny whispered. His voice soft, but Adam carded his fingers through Kenny’s hair to encourage each word forth. “Sometimes, I realize one day I could die. I could just disappear and the world would be none the wiser. There’s be no one to miss me and that— that terrifies me more than death itself.”

Then, Kenny laughed, shaking his head, giggling like he said something funny. Not something that Adam had no idea how to react to. Every word of it raised a protest inside Adam though. That he cared, that he would notice, that he would be devastated to lose Kenny. That he lost Kenny once and he had no intentions of ever doing it again. Except, Adam had no idea how to say all that in a way that made sense. When he opened his mouth to speak nothing came out but a huff of carbon dioxide. Kenny tensed, feeling Adam’s diaphragm tighten. It was as if Adam’s anxiety infused and intertwined with Kenny's, into something ugly between them. Adam could just hold Kenny tighter and that would make Kenny understand. Hold so tight to Kenny that he couldn’t leave, couldn’t go anywhere, and they’d just fit together, and it’d work. 

Except, Adam was no longer so young and stupid as to believe that would work. It wasn’t enough to ask Kenny, ‘do you trust me,’ when he already breached that trust. Adam couldn’t hold on alone, they had to meet in the middle. These things had to be mutual. This was a two street and Adam had no idea if Kenny was walking towards him or away. He was just a blur in the distance that he was chasing like hell. As if, when he caught Kenny, he’d get the answers to the questions he was too afraid to ask. 

Kenny shifted, pushing back against Adam and the awkward silence between them. The silence Adam let linger too long. He wondered if just screaming would work better than this. Kenny sat-up, and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. He clung to one of Adam’s hands like it was a life raft in the middle of that ocean out there. They sat thigh-to-thigh, hip-to-hip. Maybe, that’s how Adam felt, like Kenny was drowning and all he could do was yell advice from the shoreline. 

“Look,” Kenny began, he licked his lips. He stared at where their knees touched. Adam could feel Kenny's pulse fluttering beneath his fingers. “There’s something I gotta tell you.”

Kenny giggled again, shoulders shaking and Adam had no idea what the joke was. He placed his other, free hand on Kenny’s shoulder. 

“I set all of this up to tell you, but I— I don’t know what to say,” He admitted. He shook his head and squeezed Adam’s hand. 

“Whatever, whatever you feel, man,” Adam offered, lamely. “You know I’m here for you.”

“Look—” Kenny began.

He looked-up, gunmetal blue eyes matching Adam’s gaze. The warm glow from the house burned his cheeks gold and he shivered. Kenny was scared, the thought hit Adam like a gunshot. Terrified, looking at Adam, like Adam was going to hurt him. Like a whipped dog anticipating being taken out back.  

“Adam, I—”  he began, then a sharp chime cut him off.

Both Kenny and Adam looked down at Kenny’s phone on the coffee table. Don Callis, calling Kenny, the phone vibrating against the glass. Kenny withdrew his hand, untangling from Adam, scooting away. Like, he'd been burned and scalded, like he just put his hand back on that pot handle and this time gripped tight. “I’m not— I’m not going to answer it. I— I told him I’d be busy,” Kenny stammered, his hands working through his hair. There was a bite to his tone that set Adam’s heart on fire. “I don’t know why he’s calling me he should know.”

As Kenny’s pitch hitched and his voice cracked, Adam lunged forward to hit the decline button on the phone. The phone stopped ringing and Kenny sighed, his face stricken pale. Adam himself breathed for the first time in almost a minute, slowly leaning back into the couch. His hands rested on his knees. The ocean crashed and receded. 

“He can leave a damn voice mail,” Adam managed, cracking a half-grin but when he looked at Kenny it was not returned. Instead, Adam met wild eyes and a pale face, white with fear. In a few seconds it calmed, the war raging in Kenny dying down as he glanced away from Adam. As Adam watched Kenny pulled the glasses-free from his front pocket and shoved them on his face. He licked his lips, jaw working tight. “Kenny, is everything okay?”

“Fine, it’s fine, I’m fine,” Kenny repeated, his hands rubbed over his thighs. “I’m not— I’m not going to keep you, you can go. It was— It was fun tonight, thanks.”

Kenny lifted and waved his hand as if to dismiss Adam. Adam’s felt his temper go through the roof, just a moment of complete rage that calmed immediately. There were no words, just screaming like if he opened his mouth, a long drawn howl would escape instead of anything coherent. And that was the best he could do to express the emotions in his head. His teeth gritted and Adam rubbed his hands through his hair, trying to clear out the thoughts from his head. 

“No, wait, Kenny what did you want to tell me?” Adam asked. “What were you trying to say before Don called?”

“All, I wanted to do was just tell you that— that,” Kenny stuttered, and Adam had no faith that what came out of his mouth next was the truth. “That you can always talk to me if you need it. That, that I’m here for you, Page, and like, that you don’t need to go signing stupid contracts with Matt Hardy, but you didn’t so, it’s really not a problem. You— you didn’t need me.”

“Is that it?” Adam asked, he glanced around the house. Thought of the sushi and the home-cooked meal. Of cake and Kenny dressing nice just for Adam. “You did all this, just to tell me that? Are you sure that’s what you wanted to tell me?”

“What do you think?” Kenny asked, he peered at Adam. The glasses and his expression were like a brick wall. Impassive, unreadable, and drawing Adam to a total stop. Adam’s stomach twisted, lips parted in unvoiced confusion. Adam couldn’t answer the question because he was afraid of what Kenny thought. Kenny didn't love him, Kenny didn't care, Kenny was using him.

 “Seriously, Page, I’m fine— you can leave if you want,” Kenny repeated. “It was fun tonight.”

“No, no, no, Kenny,” Adam interjected. “No, I’m not just leaving, I’m not going anywhere until I get some damn answers about what the hell is going on. I’ve been out of my mind for months trying to figure us— this, out.  It ain’t even just about what you did to Moxley or any of the other crap. I was with you in Japan, I know how you are. Excalibur may be scandalized but I was there when you won the Intercontinental title off Tanahashi. I know how it goes. What gets me, is that you hadn’t done that shit since Japan. Ever since Don Callis came back you’ve been acting weird and I think by this point I deserve some damn answers.”

“Okay, fine, fine, what do you want to know?” Kenny demanded. He crossed his arms over his stomach. “I am an open book.”

“It’s just, I don’t know—” Adam stumbled over his words, the real questions getting in the way of the ones he could actually ask. What are we? So, instead, he stumbled-on, “Are you sure you can trust Don?”

“Of course, I can,” Kenny scoffed. “We’re changing the business Adam, changing the world, history! All those solid steel doors, those arbitrary barriers in our sport? They’re gone now! Impact, New Japan, NWA, Stardom, they’re all clamoring to get a spot on our show. We are the hottest thing in wrestling, not WWE, us. Tony Khan, the Bucks, and Cody, the whole locker room, they should be thanking us, we’re giving them jobs, improving their pay checks, and what do we get?! Just like you said, Excalibur on commentary with a bad attitude. No one else shares my vision, no one else gets it, not like Don does.”

Kenny shook his head, curls flopping around. He spoke fast, quickly, trying to get to the next words as soon as possible. 

“I thought that was all bullshit,” Adam admitted. “Just shit Don was making-up to justify taking the title.”

“Page, please!” Kenny said, his hand fluttering in Adam’s direction. “We’ve been planning something like this for years. This isn’t a mere money-making scheme, Don isn’t like Matt Hardy. And yeah, maybe that means I can’t be around Matt and Nick as much anymore, maybe the locker room hates me, maybe I’m not as popular with the audience— big deal. They’ll come around, they always come around, they’ll realize how much I’ve done for them. People change, this is— this is bigger than any one person.”

“Oh, Don isn’t like Matt Hardy?” Adam asked, he lifted an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

Kenny pushed to his feet and Adam stood too. Kenny’s hands fluttered around and something flexed in his jaw like he was chewing on sand. His voice was darker, biting with anger as he shook his finger at Adam. “Don’t even start with me, Page, about who to trust. We both know your track record.”

“Matt Hardy doesn’t give a shit about me,” Adam stated. Kenny stepped-in like it was a warning, but Adam squared his shoulders and with a look wilted Kenny. Adam took sick satisfaction in the inch or two of height he had. To lift his chin, and stand his ground. “And Don Callis doesn’t give a shit about you.”

“Don is like family to me,” Kenny snapped, his finger jutted into Adam’s face, his voice lifting in pitch and volume. Adam couldn’t remember if they ever got to this point with each other, yelling. No, he remembered some shoves in the ring. “He cares about me. I know he does. I’ve known him since I was a child, Page. It’s not the same thing.”

Adam worked his teeth into his bottom lips. He placed his hand on his hips and glanced towards the ocean. Black and churning, the waves thrown in turmoil, rolling, clawing-up the beach to high tide. Adam let himself feel the wind in his hair and his pounding heart. He glanced back at Kenny. 

Back in the day, Biz Cliz days, the Bullet Club, and the Elite was Kenny’s family. They were the ones who looked after him after matches. They were the ones who fetched ice or hot packs for his injuries. They were the ones at ringside. The ones in his tag-teams. The ones who helped him pick-out clothes or get in his ring gear. Adam thought they were family and he had fought like hell for that family. Scrabbled to keep the little niche of home he’d found, that place he belonged. He spared a thought, that something had gone wrong, terribly wrong. So wrong, that Kenny, went to someone else instead of his family. FTR, the Dark Order, Matt Hardy, the Good Brothers, Don, all these side distractions instead of the stable that cared about them. Egos blew-up, friendships faded, but it took more than a couple of arguments to break the Elite. There was a looming specter, sticking his fingers in the crack. Adam may’ve left the Elite but he always thought there’d be something to go back to. He never thought his absence would unravel his friends— never dreamed it. 

He didn’t even think they’d notice he was gone. 

“Does your family usually hit you with a microphone?” Adam asked. 

Kenny’s lips parted, his jaw falling slack. His shoulders drooped and then he rubbed his hand beneath the rims of his glasses. He crossed his arms, gaze turning downwards. Adam’s hands fell to his sides, feeling that the fight was over. Kenny shook his head as if to physically dislodge Adam’s words from his skull. Kenny was a fighter, he was a leader, he was a crazy visionary, who did his own thing. He always had an argument in him. He always kicked-out. He fought sixty minute matches against Okada. The way he capitulated in defeat here and now was fascinating because it was so against him. It was like Adam pushed back and found nothing but dust. That he had glanced back over his shoulder and suddenly Kenny had turned to salt. A pillar of salt, crumbling in Adam’s hands. A divine and cruel trick, stealing from him what he most desired, at the last possible second. 

Adam sighed, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets. Then, Kenny lurched forward and pressed his forehead into Adam’s shoulder. Adam closed his eyes and reached-up to tangle his fingers back in Kenny’s hair. He worked out a knot and then smoothed his palm down Kenny’s back. Kenny trembled against him, fingers twisted in Adam’s shirt. It was a desperate grip, like this attention and concern was foreign to Kenny. Like he was starved and Adam supposed that made sense because this didn’t feel like something Don Callis would do. Because Don Callis didn't care about Kenny. He wouldn't take care of Kenny, not like his friends would— like they were supposed to. They had failed Kenny and so he went to someone else. (They had failed Adam and so he had went to someone else). Adam hummed, low in his throat, and buried his nose in Kenny’s hair. He smelled of cologne and sea salt, and everything Adam missed. 

“Forget about Don,” Adam said. “I— I shouldn’t’ve said that, it’s none of my damn business.”

“I just don’t want to fight with you,” Kenny admitted. “I don’t— I don’t deserve you, Page.”

“Nah, don’t say that,” Adam shook his head. “Because if you were gone, you know I’d miss you, right? I ain’t got that many friends left, Kenny. You’re special to me.”

“Charmer,” Kenny grunted. 

“Can’t coast on just my good looks, you know,” Adam chuckled. He wrapped both his arms around Kenny and drew him tighter. Knowing that he was being used. Knowing that they were no closer now than they were before. “Gotta have some personality.”

“Hmm, but you are good-looking,” Kenny agreed. His hands smoothed down Adam’s side, unabashed in feeling the muscles and curves of his waist. “You’re very handsome, cowboy.”

Adam chuckled as Kenny wrapped his arms around him. It felt good to be needed. Good to be wanted and held. To be possessed by someone. Adam wanted Kenny to own him. But, he wasn’t sure if it was real or if Adam was just here, and hot, and it worked. 

“I can stay,” Adam murmured. “Just one night, you and me, like— like in the hotel.” 

“You— you want to?” Kenny asked. He pulled from Adam to look at him, or rather let Adam look at his glasses. “I have an extra toothbrush.”

“Good, because all my shit is at the hotel,” Adam said, flashing a grin. 

Adam tapped Kenny on the back to urge him back inside. Adam carried in the plates and his mostly undrunk beer. At the kitchen sink, he chugged a few big gulps and poured the rest of the alcohol down the drain. Adam rinsed and cleaned the dishes, while Kenny finished tidying-up behind him. The domesticity was intoxicating, giving Adam more of a buzz than the beer. It was deceptive too. For a second, Adam could pretend they did this little ritual every night. Clean-up after dinner, put-away all the dishes, and then, turn off the kitchen lights, head for bed. As Adam followed Kenny down the hall to the master bedroom, he rubbed the sweat off his palms and onto his pants legs. 

The master bedroom had a large bed, a couch, desk and chair, and a TV on a stand. A sliding door connected to the back patio outside. Airy, light blue curtain hung over the windows and glass. The walls were painted white and the bedding was blue. The typical beach decor was as bland as the rest of the house. Kenny rummaged around in a suitcase, left on a couch with a few stray articles of clothes on the cushions. He procured a set of soft fabric shorts and tossed them to Adam. 

“I don’t sleep in pajamas like you do, Pizz,” Kenny said. His early energy was gone and he said all of it like it was a statement of fact. Adam didn't doubt Kenny's ability to put on a show though. Even if he felt like shit he'd find a way to hide it. “So, you’ll just have to do with my work-out clothes. I washed them, I promise.”

“Are you going to sleep in your X-men undies again?” Adam teased. Kenny found a toothbrush but instead of handing it to Adam, he chucked it at Adam’s head. Adam caught the flung toothbrush with a clap of his hands. “Hey, I like Wolverine!”

“No, for the record I wore briefs this time,” Kenny said. He shrugged off his blazer and smiled softly, almost regretfully. “I came prepared.”

Adam stepped around the edge of the room, watching as Kenny peeled off his shirt. He’d seen Kenny shirtless a thousand times. He could map each expanse and stretch of muscle, the powerful curve of his back, his thick arms, and broad shoulders. This time felt special, significant, especially when Kenny glanced over his shoulder at Adam and caught him watching. Adam ducked his head and escaped into the bathroom. 

Once the door was closed behind him, he stared at himself in the mirror. Adam splashed cold water on his face and then brushed his teeth. He changed into Kenny’s shorts, used the toilet, and left, wiping his hands on the hand towel. Kenny had changed into a pair of sweat pants and he was yanking the curtains closed over the window. Adam walked-up behind him, hooked an arm around Kenny’s waist and pulling him back to his chest. 

“I’ll wait for you in bed,” Adam murmured, dipping his head to speak in Kenny’s ear.��“Don’t take too long, I’m tired.” 

“Yes, sir,” Kenny chuckled. “You know, I like it when you boss me around.”

“Make sure you wash behind your ears,” Adam ordered, severely. 

Adam tapped Kenny’s hip and sent him off towards the bathroom. He turned off the bedroom lights and the nightstand lamp then slid underneath the covers of the bed. It felt like this would be easier if he didn’t have to look at Kenny. Then they wouldn’t have to face anything, just be with each other. The bed was softer than Adam was used to and he fought the mattress to roll over on his side, punching at the pillow to get it shaped right. The ocean rumbled and Adam sighed, exhaling with the tide. He heard the bathroom door open and the latch close behind Kenny. He heard each pad of Kenny’s footsteps on the carpet before the mattress dipped and Kenny slid into bed. Adam rolled over, reaching for Kenny and guiding him closer. Kenny shimmied over and Adam tucked his arm over Kenny’s side, his hand resting over Kenny’s stomach. He pressed his nose into Kenny’s neck and Kenny hooked his calf around Adam’s leg to bring them flush. Every inch of Kenny’s body pressed against Adam. Kenny laid his hand over Adam’s and intertwined their fingers. Kenny rumbled, content, then slid his foot down to put his ice cold toes on Adam’s ankle. Adam jerked, cussing, and Kenny giggled. 

Adam’s eyes fluttered closed. Kenny’s breath as gentle as the ocean. He’d been dreaming about this for months, having Kenny back here. The memory of the hotel room a poor substitute for having him under Adam’s arm. Warm, heavy, his pulse tangled with Adam’s. Adam wiggled his arm underneath Kenny and clutched him tighter. He nuzzled his nose into Kenny’s neck. Here he could say anything. Anything at all, whisper it and pretend Kenny was sleeping, and Kenny could pretend he was sleeping if he didn’t want to hear it. And it’d be like a confession, words lost to empty air, absolution offered to wash them clean. Adam opened his mouth and nothing came out. Instead his lips moved and he mouthed, “I love you.” Without uttering a single sound. Then again, “I love you.” 

“Adam,” Kenny grunted, and Adam almost panicked, wondering for a second if he had actually said those things out loud. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Adam asked, sleep dragged at his mind, making him a little dumb. 

“Staying,” Kenny said. “I know I— I freak-out on you there.”

“It's fine,” Adam whispered. “It happens. Wanna hear a crazy idea I have?”

Kenny shifted, wiggling in Adam’s arms to turn over. Adam grunted when Kenny dug his elbow into his ribs so he could leverage himself onto his opposite side. Kenny buried his face in Adam’s chest and Adam wondered if that was just how he preferred to sleep. Adam rolled onto his back and dragged Kenny with him. He let his fingers play with the ends of Kenny’s hair as the other hand interlaced with Kenny’s on his stomach. Kenny settled himself and Adam licked his lips, just stupid enough to share this crazy idea. 

“Hit me, cowboy,” Kenny ordered. 

“We leave in the morning,” Adam suggested. “I don’t know where to, maybe nowhere specific, but it’s just the two of us. Sleeping in motels, eating shit at dinners, and working the indies— making like fifty bucks a show, so there’s never enough money but we make it work. Maybe we’re a tag-team again or it’s just us in singles. We dominate the competition, earn those dumb little regional belts we used to own. No more stakes, no more crap, just— wrestling, fun as it used to be.”

“We’d be recognized,” Kenny muttered, and Adam remembered the goofy BTE bits he used to shoot down for Kenny. Poking holes in the logic or saying the joke wasn’t funny. All because he was afraid of committing to an idea. Turn about was fair play he guessed. “We could— we could wear masks.”

“You ever wrestle in a mask?” Adam asked. 

“No,” Kenny admitted.

“Sucks,” Adam grunted, “And the moment you did a One-Winged Angel, everyone would know who you are. It’d just be El Generico all over again.”

“We should go horse riding,” Kenny suggested, he yawned. “I haven’t done that in a long time.”

“Next time you’re in Virginia,” Adam promised. “I’ll take you.”

“Mhmm, maybe that should be sooner, rather than later,” Kenny smiled. He settled then and Adam shut-up so he could sleep. In a few moments Kenny breathed easily, and steadily, his eyes closed. Adam twirled a black curl around his finger, absent-minded. 

“I love you,” he said, to the empty room. An observation, a statement of fact, Adam kissed the top of Kenny’s head. This time, he whispered into those curls, “I love you.” 

And then he adjusted himself so he was comfortable in the pillows. Adam sagged, the tension bleeding out of his stiff frame like water. Kenny mumbled softly in his sleep and Adam tucked him close to his side. Thoughts twisted-up in his head, Adam drifted unconscious. Then, when his eyes opened, the room was bright, light spilling in through the thin curtain. The sea raged and the gulls cried. His arm was dead weight, asleep. Adam blinked, lifting his head. In the night, he and Kenny had shifted. Kenny’s head laid on his bicep as he slept. His hand rested on Adam’s chest, fingers crooked. Needing blood flow back in his fingers, Adam slipped his arm out from under Kenny’s head. He sat-up in the bed, careful not to jostle the mattress too much. Adam opened and closed his hand, fingertips tingling painfully. He looked down at Kenny. 

His hair was in total disarray, tangled on the pillows. A little bit of drool welled at the corner of his parted lips and he breathed rough, long, slow. Without Adam, he turned onto his side. Adam slid out of the bed. He found his jeans and changed back into his clothes. Adam stepped into his boots and returned to the kitchen. He rummaged in the fridge, the options were meager. Eggs, ketchup, cheese, milk, and luckily, a pack of bacon— probably stuff Kenny bought specifically for breakfast, based on the large container of protein powder beside the fridge. He poked through the cabinets and found the flour from last night, but also sugar, baking powder, cheap imitation vanilla, and salt. 

Adam was methodical as he cracked eggs to scramble and for pancakes. He whipped-up the batter in a bowl and found the frying pans in a lower drawer. The back burner slow-cooked bacon with a tantalizing sizzle and on a front burner, Adam cooked the pancakes. Making just enough for him and Kenny. He cleaned-up as he went, leaving dishes on the drying rack. He did the eggs last, scrambling them with cheese and pepper, when he heard the water run, indicating Kenny was up and using the bathroom. A few minutes later Kenny wandered into the kitchen, rubbing the heel of his hands over his eyes. He paused in the doorway, gaping as Adam assembled two plates of pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

“Mornin’,” Adam grunted, as he took a knife and fork out of the drawer. He walked over to the table and sat down. 

“You made breakfast? I should invite you over more, geez,” Kenny said. He sat down with his plate. “Did you sleep, okay?”

“Not too bad,” Adam said. He watched as Kenny took a bite of eggs and grinned as Kenny moaned almost obscenely. “Was pretty nice sleeping next to you.”

“Well, cowboy, you can do that anytime you want,” Kenny promised. He tapped his fingers against the table. “So, I guess you’re heading out then?”

“Yeah, I gotta,” Adam said. “I got a seven-hour drive, training and working-out to get on, and like, I’m bleeding money paying my neighbor’s daughter to watch my dogs. But uh, this, thing, last night, it was fun? We should do it again.”

“Including the cuddling?” Kenny asked, propping his chin against his hand. He picked-up a piece of bacon between his fingers and cheekily tore a piece off. “I couldn’t agree more. Especially, if you’re going to cook like this.”

“Definitely the cuddling, you’re a pretty good hand warmer,” Adam nodded. He scrapped the last of the eggs onto his fork and polished it off with some pancake. He stood-up and took his plate to the sink while Kenny finished eating. 

Kenny followed Adam out as he returned to his car. They hugged and Adam settled into the driver seat. He recalled the inane story he spun last night, where they go back to the indies and pretended the past year didn’t happen. It wasn’t fleeting because it was impossible. It was simply too late. As Adam turned the ignition he wondered if he could convince Kenny to come back with him to North Carolina instead. Just hide there until the next Dynamite or something. Steal a little bit more time. He put the car in the reverse and let the thought die under the rear wheels. 

#ofgrief #‘The Idiot Speaking’ || OOC #‘Beloved’ || Adam and Kenny #‘Deals with God’ || Adam: Verse #i bet there's at least a few typos in this but it's in god's hands now