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codenamed-queenie · 4 years

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#BatsInQuarantine

I am going insane. So I poured my restlessness into one long and very detailed post and got super into it. Please enjoy this hot mess.

The Justice League, being the well-meaning virus-proof Super Friends that they are, took one good look at the news, one good look at their non-powered friends Ollie, Bruce, and their families, and collectively decided that these normal humans must be Protected At All Costs.

Now, keep in mind, Bruce is never one to roll over when it comes to being benched.

However, he understands the importance of social distancing. He knows he needs to set a good example for his kids, and keep up appearances as Gotham’s Most Responsible Multi-Billionaire.

So. Quarantine it is.

But how are his kids handling it?

Dick -

100% on board in the beginning. Gotta do the Responsible Thing. Gotta set a Good Example. Besides, guys, this is gonna be Fun. Quality Family Time is always a Must.

He lasted 2 days.

Then he started to get twitchy.

And as everyone knows? A Trapped Dick Grayson is a Feral Dick Grayson.

He bounces off the walls.

Literally.

“I have to climb.”

“Dick, no.”

“I have to climb everything.”

Has scaled the manor 16 times already. Has climbed the chandelier. The banister. Bruce. The roof. The Cave. Anything in the house that’s been bolted down and especially anything that hasn’t.

Duke found him clinging to the wall 10 ft off the ground like Spiderman and screamed so loud it shattered glass.

Desperate for news of the outside.

He thrives off of it like a starving man.

Was the one to suggest he and Barbara take a break to Social Distance from each other (”Sorry, babe, kissing spreads germs”) and experienced Instant Regret(TM) approximately 5 minutes after.

The Family has labelled him a Flight Risk Level 1 (Most likely to say f**k it and make a break for the outside world)

Jason -

Accidentally got trapped inside the manor with the others when Bruce called Shutdown. If he had his way, he’d be chilling in his favorite safe-house right now, binging The Witcher with Roy and Artemis, and not worrying about finding a stray brother in his sock drawer.

But he’s nothing if not an opportunist.

The way he sees it, Jason has 3 options:

Self Improvement

Self Isolation (See Duke, Cass, and Damian)

Descension Into Madness (See Dick and Steph)

And, well, he always wanted to try a few things. Now he’s got the free time to do it.

So he settles on baking.

Alfred’s got enough food and raw ingredients stored up to feed an army. (Not because he’s a Panic-Buying-Hoarder in times like these. But because he’s a Panic-Buying-Hoarder all the time. Just try feeding 11+ teenagers sometime.)

Uses recipes he finds off Google.

His first few attempts are, in a word, ‘tragic’.

Alfred slips him a few of his recipe cards, and Jason suddenly starts seeing Results.

Turns out he’s pretty good at this baking thing once he gets the hang of it.

Hope everyone’s okay eating nothing but pie, macaroons, biscuits, and whatever else Jason whips up.

Cause that’s gonna be the only food left by the time he’s done.

Barbara -

Self-quarantined with her dad.

They’ve been binge-watching classic black and white movies together.

It’s a fun time, but she’s started to get a little antsy. Loving her dad and wanting to be around him 24/7 are, understandably, mutually exclusive.

Calls the manor to video-chat every day.

For her sanity just as much as theirs.

Gives everyone little challenges to film on their phones and send in. She makes compilations of everyone’s submissions so they can all watch and laugh together.

Bonus points for Creativity

One comp shows the family trying to drop Mentos into coke bottles.

Dick did a handstand, and dropped his Mento from the second story balcony.

Tim did it wearing the Batman cowl. The soda exploded into his face, and the rest of the video is just Bruce’s Shrieking.

Stephanie tried it, but the bottle tipped. Everyone on camera screamed as the bottle rocketed through the front window.

She spends most of her calls having one-on-one convos with Dick.

They’ve come up with little code phrases so they can be Cheesy even with family members lurking in the background.

She thinks the way he clings to the monitor is cute.

Almost like he’s giving her a hug through the screen.

(It’s easier than letting herself worry about his mental state, at least)

Tim -

Oh this boy.

Freaked out for the first five minutes before he decided ‘hey wait, Bruce is letting me stay in my pajamas all day? Noice.’

Now he’s just vibing.

The rest of his family is Low-Key shielding him.

He Has No Spleen, you see.

Steph: “Someone could cough on him and he could die!”

He just goes about his day, playing Animal Crossing like there’s no tomorrow, tinkering on projects, taking naps, etc. Living his best life.

Meanwhile there’s always someone lurking behind him, keeping watch, keeping him safe.

Dick sneezed within 5 feet of Tim once (the fact that he was on top of the dusty bookshelf Tim was perusing is irrelevant)

Jason still full-body tackled him the second Tim’s back was turned.

No one with any symptoms--

Like, any symptoms. They don’t even have to be Corona-related.

--is allowed within 10 feet of Tim.

Tim has been wandering the manor for weeks, now, without seeing another human being.

(He sees Dick on the ceiling sometimes, but that doesn’t really count)

He’s been trying increasingly drastic pranks and shenanigans to draw someone, anyone, out.

But it doesn’t matter how many times he steals Damian’s sword, or sets fire to Jason’s brownie bites.

Nobody wants to risk it.

Cass -

No one has seen her since quarantine started.

Everyone is approximately 87% sure she’s somewhere in the manor though

Because she does eat the meals Alfred leaves out for her.

Or at least someone does, at any rate.

(Jason and Santa top the running suspects list)

Santa was Steph’s suggestion. For some reason it snowballed.

It’s assumed that Cass misunderstood the meaning of ‘social distancing’ and took it too far.

But no one knows for sure.

She is Tim’s Guardian Angel.

People who so much as clear their throats a little too loudly anywhere near him suddenly wake up on a different floor of the house four hours later.

Duke came closest to spotting her while he was up in the attic.

Either that, or there’s another Creepy Sister everyone forgot to tell him about living up there.

She is silent, and watchful, sticking to the shadows, but she does leave the occasional note out to brighten her siblings’ day.

Things like ‘helo i love u’ and ‘hop u ar ok’ mostly.

She is bound and determined to protect her family from this invisible threat, no matter the cost.

Steph -

Like Dick, she was Super Pumped at first.

(Just kind of showed up at Wayne Manor before quarantine was enacted. The original purpose of her visit is unclear, but regardless, she’s Trapped.)

Also Like Dick, her descent into madness was swift.

She is impossible to pin down.

Not like Cass or Damian, who’ve stayed off the grid, and are therefore Untraceable.

No. She’s impossible to pin down, because she never stops moving.

Switches seamlessly between Zumba on top of the Giant Dinosaur in the Batcave, and furiously knitting Alfred (the Cat) a sweater with a pair of Tim’s used chopsticks.

Braided everyone’s hair while they were asleep.

Even Bruce’s.

She tried to do Tim’s, but somehow blacked out and regained consciousness in the attic.

When she woke up with a scream and a furiously twitching eye, she startled Duke out of his Makeshift Fort he built out of old cardboard boxes and antique furniture. He’s had to resort to finding a new hiding place.

Sometimes, on the rare occasions she does sit still, staring off into the distance, she’ll suddenly start laughing hysterically. This may last between thirty seconds and thirty minutes, depending entirely on how long it’s been since she’s knitted a cat sweater or done cartwheels through every room in the house.

Blew up the greenhouse out back, somehow.

Everyone has agreed not to talk about it.

Some people were built to handle prolonged time inside their homes.

Stephanie Brown is not that way.

Damian -

Damian Wayne Cannot Be Contained.

At least not inside the house.

He took off thirty-six hours into quarantine.

Thanks to the security equipment around the borders of the Wayne Estate, he can’t escape the grounds.

(He’s tried and failed multiple times. Jason and Bruce have a running bet on how many times the perimeter alarms will go off per day.)

(Jason is winning.)

He wanders the grounds with Titus as his only companion.

The two of them run laps, practice drills, and find ways to occupy their time.

No one’s entirely sure what those ways are.

In fact, nobody knows exactly where Damian is at any given time.

Only that he is Out There.

And he’s the best security system Wayne Manor’s ever had.

So far, he’s stopped five groups of civilians scaling the perimeter walls before the lasers and electric nets even have a chance to deploy.

They were trying to break in and steal supplies.

(Even ones they already had in surplus. Like Toilet Paper.)

He’s also stopped Dick from escaping twelve (12) times.

Drags him back by his shirt collar and deposits him on the welcome mat.

Usually with a note for Alfred/Jason, requesting more fruit tarts.

Duke -

Did not leave the attic for two weeks.

Then Steph discovered his hiding spot (read: was dumped there by Cassandra) which forced him to relocate to the basement.

Yes, it turns out Wayne Manor does have a basement.

This was a surprise to Duke, who always thought that the Batcave was Bruce Wayne’s basement.

Alfred keeps him supplied with all the necessities:

i.e. food, magazines, assorted pastries from Jason’s latest batch, usually straight out of the oven.

Duke also snagged the Manor’s Alexa.

She has become a sort of ‘Wilson’ to Duke’s ‘Chuck Noland’.

She is his only comfort. His only ally.

He’s determined to wait out this quarantine, doing his best to avoid the others.

Duke has seen these people under pressure.

He knows exactly what he’s dealing with.

Duke: “Alexa is the only motherf****r in this madhouse I ever respected.”

*offended butler noises from the other room*

Duke: “And also Alfred.”

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nchyinotes · 6 years

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How to launch an independent magazine, by Delayed Gratification

February 22 2018

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/how-to-launch-an-independent-magazine-22nd-february-2018-tickets-40937174190?aff=es2

In this class you will:

-Learn how to turn your magazine idea into reality

-Find out how to identify a successful editorial niche

-Understand the nuts and bolts of commissioning writers and designers

-See how to pull together a winning subscription, distribution and marketing plan

-Discover how to survive and thrive beyond the first year

You will leave with a good insight into the independent publishing industry and a strong idea of how to set about launching an independent magazine.

Thoughts: I actually found this event on eventbrite a few months before it happened, sent it to my friend who I knew would be interested (hi Ayesha!) and then forgot about it. Then the day before, she asks if I want to go because her friend cancelled so she had an extra ticket, so I ended up going with her haha. I’ve always been vaguely interested in starting a magazine, and was actually the co-editor of an online art magazine aaaages ago with my online friend (hi Angela!), but was never really serious about it. While some of this information was not new for me (a lot of it overlapped with your typical entrepreneurship/startup advice, ie. finding a niche), the advice that was specific to launching indie magazines (logistics and business aspects) was very useful and interesting, and I really appreciated the numbers they threw in from their own business. Overall, was a very fun and honest look at the business, and the organisers were super friendly. Also left with a free copy of Delayed Gratification (their mag), which was cool to read.

EDITED NOTES

Introduction

Met early 20s in dubai, journalism students, working as time out editors, learnt how to make print mags together / fell in love with it

Went in different directions, and then all ended up back in london at 30

Just over 7 years now

Named independent magazine editors of the year 2017

Most independent magazines are losing if not hemorrhaging money - lots of vanity projects, made as a shop front for creative agencies.

Attrition rate is extraordinary. Intense desire to make them, but the number that make it past issue 2 / 3 is very low.

Lower barriers to entry than ever before - people are used to them, a lot more need for them (solace in print from digital world) + tools are there + there are all these places to sell them now (mag culture!)

Bad news: will probably break your heart, high failure rate, odds are against you, difficult economic model to make work, are not immune to pressures in mainstream press (but don’t face: massive debt built up in 80s/90s for rapid expansion, pensions liabilities, offices)

Were dreamers + journalists: novices at nuts and bolts of making money/funding

90% of success is turning up - determination to keep going even in early years

Maybe expand into documentaries / books in the future

Key lessons

1) you probably shouldn’t launch an independent magazine - sink which you pour your money, dreams, hopes

Brainstorm: Why do indie mags fail?

Not thinking about how you pay for issue 2 → run out of cash v quickly (where frequency comes into it, ie. weekly)

Just getting visibility: Hard to find your audience - with so much competition, etc

Often have expertise in one area, but lack expertise in another function that’s vital to bringing product to market

Content burn out, esp. If you make big commitments (launch with huge interview etc) - second album syndrome? Not to create too many structures that need to be filled in early days.

2) ^ can be overcome with a niche - you need a niche

Fat brad magazine

Terrible people magazine

Slightly foxed, nutmeg (scottish football periodical), mc1r (only about redheads)

Their niche: slow journalism, something to champion

What it did for them:

issue 1 cover was by obama’s hope poster artist (+ issue 5, limited edition posters, interview = all for free)

Content by Interviews (henry kissinger, etc) + writers - because it resonated with them, wanted to support it = can use those people’s credibility to add to theirs

Coverage + press: something to talk about (today program on radio 4: one 6 minute interview got them ~400 subscriptions = able to be condensed and easily explained/summed up)

Could have been slightly more bullish about fast news in the start, should you be worried about alienation??

Brainstorm: A name and niche

Colors magazine - activism & protest issue

Trend (mindfulness) vs Niche

Helps to sort of person we appeal to, what need am i filling that hasn’t been filled, what is my spin

Need to be passionate (committed, reason without a doubt), not egotistical, believe in your idea, ask for help a lot, honest

3) you need to think about the business

Beyond issue 1, what it is to run a magazine business (VAT returns, subscription systems, fb ads)

Frequency & cost

Weekly or monthly is really really fast. Always easier to go from quarterly down, because it shows you’re getting better, etc (awks if you have to go the other way).

Issue 1: 12 pounds, issue 2: 10 pounds.

When setting price for individual issue, what would you charge for a year’s subscriptions? You want to offer subscribers an appealing discount (that you’re not losing on each subscription)

Christmas is key for the indie mag industry - big burst of subscriptions as gifts. So don’t launch in jan or feb lol, christmas run is key, be well established for this! 50+% this year was from last 5 weeks of sales

Don’t launch in summer - nobody gets subscriptions then, more newstands then

Print, digital, or both?

People don’t want to pay for digital issues, not that captivated by complicated stuff you can do on there.

You have to charge VAT + pay percentage to platform for digital copies

People expect to pay less for digital copies

But there are some digital projects that are fascinating - de correspondent (similar premise, crowdfunded, purely digital in dutch, really collaborative / self contained digital ecosystem. / community driven)

Physicality - You can get people to pay for a physical / tangible object that they just don’t for digital, they have relationships with them.

Latterly (weekly newsletter, after building huge online audience for free, now printed publication)

^ merits of this?? Passion project more bc of time sink??

Subscriptions vs newsstand

Subscription systems

Gocardless (pay direct debits)

Chargebee - portal

V difficult to make money out of newsstand sales - 50% of the cover price, 3-6 months after mags are sold, and they generally only sell 60% of the ones you’ve sent them. Treated as marketing for subscriptions.

Not difficult to set them up

In London / UK: Ra&Olly, MMS, Smiths (difficult + unresponsive + dont fulfill, but have a stranglehold on mags in country)

Paid: gold star media (get you in to salons, hotels, airport lounges, etc)

Is your magazine one that a company would like to support? Team up because they really like it

Customer

Site sales: shopify

Fulfilment: newsstand

Adjust your expectations

4) take subscriptions!!

Newsstands are hard

It’s money upfront, will help with print bills, cash flow, etc

Community building

More chances for someone to like someone

Alternatives: Kickstarter, indiegogo (to test out if appetite is there)

Subscription renewals / Direct debits ?

Do not build your business model around advertising, it’s so diffused + competitive, can’t do trackability on print issues

No ads > bad ads

Corporate work - if you prove you can make mags, you can make them for other people too

Magazine as a broader way of selling your skill set

plan for issue 2/3/4 already + worst case scenarios

5) you need to make something special

Making your magazine:

Commissioning editorial content

There are a lot of really good writers out there desperate to work for you

Draw up a commissioning form - rights and responsibilities, deadlines, etc

Approach writers that you like - tell about mag & ask them to pitch OR give them a story and ask them to write it

Longer form + freedom

Always pay! You have a contract, leverage, etc

Editorial pagination * av word count * word rate = commission

First: 10p/word

Now: 25p/word

Industry average: 30p/word

Interviews / verbatim interviews: with an expert in the subject. Get it without having to pay a word rate, take what you need from it, may tighten it up for free anyway when you send it back for approval

Ask people who just brought out a book

Finding a designer - they expect a very carefully designed product

Don’t be afraid to let things evolve - keep moving/changing things around

First issue is not going to be perfect, important thing is that it exists

Look at magazines / things you like + get in touch with them

Have your favorite designer create a template (or a regular design) for you - easier for recent grads etc to follow, at a cheaper price

Design software: considerable expense

Indesign, photoshop - creative suite, expensive monthly. Worth looking at older versions (old DVDs on ebay - work with designer to save it down a version)

Pagination (80-100), size (delayed gratification is too big/wide to fit through most letterboxes, something smaller / standard sizes are better), GSM (cyclical trends), binding (perfect bound, saddle stitch / staples are much cheaper)

Costs of the last issue, excl. Wages (which has come up a huge amount, 7-8k in the beginning bc lots in house and paying less) : 23.8k pounds

West ale ?? printers company

Approach the printers

The only thing that’s going to push your price up is if its special paper they have to order 4 u

You’ll get inundated with calls once you start up

You want a printer that will work around you (missed deadlines or changes post-proof stage)

6) you need to tell people about your mag

Brainstorm: how are you going to get noticed?

Making waves - Print someone controversial, getting into mainstream press

Power of positivity vs negativity (attract passionately negative people? In emails? Lol. prepare yourself for backlash)

Collaborating with influencers / people with followings / associations that make sense / endorsement (within the niche) - genuine

Loving print means embracing digital - lots of new people come from digital content

Weekly newsletter : manageable amount of content, keep engaging (mailchimp), moving people through the marketing funnel

Events - sense of community, benefit for subscribers.

Free is not recommended. Commitment.

Indie mag community - swap inserts in different titles/issues/newsletters, nicer fit, more interest

Podcasts

Questions

Usually print about 1000 copies of issue 1

Issue 0 - proof of concept (rarely done in indie mags)

Limited run projects - must be pitched to advertisers / subscribers before hand as such (will probz break ur heart at issue 6)

#entrepenuership #publishing #2018 #london #media #event

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