#also not going too deep into classism because it is too easy to let this convo get out of hand.

[benchowmein]

really missed the point. to say its laden with colonialism when talking about how a house is built feels only true by proxy of where it exists, not the role it played in colonialism (which you can make a stronger argument for the prairie farms, but they aren't the "cottages" in "cottagecore".) to break down parts of an aesthetic like cottagecore -- which can markedly vary -- and say it is influenced by colonialism (not even addressed the conversation about classism) implies more than just the era these "aesthetics" originated from (which is equally arguable, since then it becomes an argument about where an aesthetic's components originate from.) calling for colonialism to be mentioned on an aesthetics page is deviated from the conversation one wants to have about these countries and their cultures as a whole, which becomes a much larger task, and not about the components themselves, all of which are cherry picked for an individual's preference and what they consider cozy and cottagecore

dark academia is different in the sense that it heavily regards its aesthetic origins and ongoings with intellectualism and old european colleges (which spots its roots in harry potter and the "magical" novelty of going to school in a castle.) and the very heavy history of said colleges which, if an individual wanted to learn more about the implications around such colleges, then they should go to the respective places and learn about the college histories themselves.

I love that you describe cottagecore as being "cherry picked for an individual's preference and what they consider cozy and cottagecore". You are right: cottagecore girlies do cherry pick the palatable elements of a bygone age, and ignore their deep roots in feudalism, enclosure, colonialism, misogyny, and conservatism.

Your prose style is very leading: you use the impersonal pronoun 'one' to encourage a reader to agree with you. But Wikipedia is not about a 'conversation one wants to have', it is about compiling sources to present the pertinent information to readers. The article also goes into extreme and superfluous detail about Greek pastoral poetry. Do you think this is as relevant to cottagecore's development as, say, the Arts and Crafts movement? Do you think we shouldn't mention Orientalism when we discuss fashion in the late-Edwardian period because it turns the conversation into one about colonialism?

Just to point out as well: you can't say that prairie farms arent' the 'cottages in cottagecore'. There is no defined principle for what is and what isn't cottagecore. I would never describe Gierthoorn as the archetype of cottagecore, but I can recognise how it conforms to the aesthetic. Media set in early America and on the frontier is often used in cottagecore.

Dark Academia is much more obviously steeped in elitism, yes, but cottagecore is steeped in merely a different mindset from the same period. To consider the cottage as 'free' from the constraints of the town, to think of agriculture as an ornamental task, to idealise the 'natural purity' of the countryside and of a life of knitting and painting, is to romanticise the aesthetic of being poor. The cottage was not free. The common land was taken from the farmers and worked by a wealthy landowner. Farmers worked for a pittance on land they did not own, often in houses they did not own outright, and had barely enough to scrape by. Sure, we can cherry pick the good side of this, but that is exactly the danger of aestheticising a complex and multiply-realisable way of living.

It can all be summed up by this: the other editor's last edit to the article changed "According to critics cottagecore offers a nostalgic, romanticized view of rural life" to "According to critics cottagecore offers an realistic romanticized view of rural life". This is unfounded in the critics' work. It is not true. It is the personal opinion of an editor being inserted into an article. And they are describing my inclusion of documented critiques of the aesthetic as a personal opinion. And...they changed it to "an" for no reason

#real talk. can you give me a solid definition of cottagecore so i can more effectively discuss this lol #also not going too deep into classism because it is too easy to let this convo get out of hand.

[scintillyyy]

okay okay here's the full essay on my expanded look at understanding classism & conservativism within 90s comics-

okay, so. dixon. dixon has some truly terrible views imo. but. but. sigh. the thing about understanding his biases and how they were inserted into his works means understanding the absolute contradictions and cognitive dissonance commonly seen in conservative beliefs.

because it's easy--very, very easy--to make blanket statements like dixon hates poor people & dixon hates women. but to simplify it into a blanket statement like that is to miss a lot of the less obvious, far more hidden biases in favor of focusing on things that were not necessarily only a him problem specifically so much as they were larger, more widespread problems of the 90s.

the views on wealth or: they hate poor people, but no, not that poor person, that poor person doesn't count

okay, so the thing to understand about conservatives like dixon, probably, is that they do very much hate poor people on a societal level. they are itching to slash benefits & place the blame for the ills of society on the lower classes & in fact feel that poor people are responsible for the fact that they are poor. they hate poor people for having children that will go into the "system" & "leech" off the hardworking americans, & they hate that those children will grow up to also be poor and remain in the system as much as they very much vote for policies that contribute to it. in their eyes, poor people would just choose not to be poor and then will be able to make it happen for themselves, so if you don't, you're just not trying hard enough.

however, despite having a deep societal hatred for the lower classes, when it comes to poor people on an individual level, it gets a little more murky for them. because they don't necessarily hate poor people on an individual level. in fact to them, in this world, there exists the following: the Good Poor and the Bad Poor. and conservatives like chuck, despite their overarching societal hatred for the lower classes, love who they deem the Good Poor. because the Good Poor prove their worldview right. they are proud of the Good Poor. the Good Poor are everything america stands for & deserve everything in the world. so who are the Good Poor? who are the Bad Poor? well, it's pretty clear-cut, actually:

the Good Poor are largely white, but do not discount that the Good Poor, on occasion, will actually include a person of color. conservatives (well, those who will go blue in the face assuring you they're not racist. obviously for the very overtly mask off racist conservatives it is highly unlikely that a person of color can achieve the Good Poor status, but it's not impossible so long as the person in question is self hating enough) absolutely lap up stories of young children of color who rise up from disenfranchised circumstances to do something great (think: the fb news article about an inner city black girl who invented something super cool. conservatives love stories like that. their worldview is so vindicated with them.). the Good Poor do not have to utilize benefits, or if they do, it's only for a short period of time so they can get on their feet and make something of themselves, after all, conservatives love the american dream & they love when people achieve it. the Good Poor are hard at work & uncomplaining because they just have to work hard & be patient & they will be rewarded for it. the Good Poor scrimp & save & don't allow themselves luxuries, but if they do get a luxury, it's because they worked hard for it & saved up & deserve it. the Good Poor are able to catapult themselves into a better standing regardless of help because this is america, where hard work is rewarded & you too can pull yourself up by your boostraps. the Good Poor don't let themselves get caught in the trap of being dependent on the state or having too many babies or having babies too young, but if they do, they make the right decision. the Good Poor try to leave Bad places in order that their children can get a good education so they can avoid getting trapped in the system. the Good Poor do not complain, they just work harder. i guess to really summarize who they perceive as the Good Poor, it's those who reject the trappings of the Bad Poor.

the Bad Poor, to them, are largely people of color, especially those in inner cities (though there is such a thing as the white Bad Poor for them & it usually includes those they deem white trash or methheads) the Bad Poor are those who they see as content to use benefits indefinitely, or are perceived to use benefits without ever paying into them. the Bad Poor include those that are invisibly disabled and unable to work, people who are mentally ill, those that choose a life of crime over hard work (let's not think too hard of societal factors that may contribute to this), those that are homeless (but only the homeless they feel are choosing to stay homeless, those they feel are sufficiently making an effort to better themselves are at least closer to Good Poor), those that are addicts but making no perceived effort to overcome addiction, those they perceive as choosing not to work so they can remain on state benefits, those who have more than one kid (because to them more kids = more benefits, and the first one was one thing, but if you keep doing it despite not being able to afford the first, well. they really don't like that.) the bad poor are content to scam the system, eating t-bone steaks with their food stamps while the Good Poor suffer in their couponing. the Bad Poor are usually more poverty level, while the Good Poor, the True Poor to them, are usually right above that at the cusp of too rich for benefits, so they're the true strugglers.

and like. obviously, there's no such thing as a good poor or a bad poor. there are simply people. the difference between the pictures is that there is no difference & most of their perceptions who they believe the Bad Poor to be are bogeymans they've made up. real life circumstances are not cut and dry, and those divisions are divisions they themselves created and worsened with their policies. but to them, there are differences within that grouo. and those differences are key. because in their worldview, the Good Poor is soemone who does deserve any help they may have to unfortunately receive (though they don't need help & probably dislike the fact that have to receive it) whereas the Bad Poor does not deserve any of that.

take the following two examples:

a young couple gets married at 21. he works as an automotive technician & she's a CNA. shortly after their marriage, there's layoffs at his work & she is 8 months pregnant pregnant. they cannot currently afford health insurance through her job. they don't have enough money saved up in the bank to pay their rent & utilities as well as groceries. they end up being in a position where they have to apply for benefits like unemployment, food stamps, & medicaid for her in order to stay afloat for the next few months while he is looking for a new job. the benefits float them through their time of need and once he gets a new job a few months later, they no longer need the benefits, and stop them. they continue to live paycheck to paycheck, but can afford life's necessities.

a young, unmarried couple are 19 and have two children. he works as an automotive technician, she works as a beautician. he gets laid off at work. they apply for welfare benefits. while out of work, he gets into an automotive accident & fractures a cervical vertebrae that places him in severe pain that lasts long after the break is healed. due to this pain, he is unable to find a new job with the skillset he has & ends up forming an addiction to painkillers. he eventually needs to apply for disability. no longer able to afford childcare, she has to also quit her job. they are dependent on medicaid & disability, WIC & food stamps, for the forseeable future. they scrape together what they can to give their children as much as they can.

so the first one, to them, is a Good Poor, the second a Bad Poor. because the first one to them in an example of the system working as it's intended. the first to them is two hardworking poor people, who deserve help & are a good example of how good, hardworking people can fall on hard times, need a little help to get back up and then go back to being self sufficient. the second is very easily flandarized by them into two people who didn't want to work because if they did they would have found a way to make it work, but they didn't & they decided to stay within the system, so they're Bad Poors who get what they deserve. this is just how the world works to them.

anyways, this is a fundamentally dissonant viewpoint! it falls apart very easily! but it's so very ingrained that there is no amount of logic that can undo it. because they have their examples where their system works, ergo it works & that's how it should be for everyone & if it doesn't work then you yourself are personally responsible for the fact that it doesn't, not anyone or anything else. that is how they conceptualize the world. and like. yes, on a societal level, they hate both Good Poor and Bad Ooor. they aren't going to ever going to want to expand the help they receive. on a personal level, however, their feelings are actually more complicated than all poor people are terrible. because while they're not jumping at the chance to provide the Good Poor help to get there, necessarily, they are entirely rooting for them to work hard and achieve the american dream. they believe they truly like the Good Poor & they want opportunities available to them. they cheer if the Good Poor achieve stability because that is their worldview at work & there's a sense of satisfaction there. they are at peace. they like the Poor who make them feel at peace. they want the Good Poor to get the opportunities needed to lift themselves up, like the founding fathers intended. or something.

(as an aside, wrt them & benefits. in an ideal world, it's not that benefits wouldn't exist it's that they'd be very sparingly used & only for those who deserve/earned it. the cognitive dissonance around benefits like medicare and social security, for example, is that they fundamentally don't see it as a benefit. they see it as something they've earned on account of years and years of putting their own money into it & they are owed that because it's *their* money. if they are using any sort of benefit, it's because they have done their due diligence and put money into the system & are owed it. they get their welfare because they funded it, others shouldn't if they did not.)

(another aside, this is why they don't necessarily see the benefit in them paying local taxes for schools despite the fact that they attended schools funded by their parent's generation. they may be fine with it when their children are attending, but if they are not personally benefitting from it or are childless, they don't see why they should be forced to use their money to pay for something they're not even utilizing)

as for wealth, there is a veneration of the wealthy there. but there is a full belief that you should not punish the wealthy for being wealthy. they, after all, earned it. not being wealthy is a skill issue, to them. the temporarily embarrassed millionaire mindset does ring a bit true, in that they truly believe that anyone can make it regardless of their start if they're skilled & work hard enough, but it's not entirely the correct way of describing it. because they might wish a big pile of money falls in their lap, but they in no way think they're entitled to be rich or have money. people are owed what they are due & get what they deserve. these kind of people would be aghast at having more personal funds with expanded benefits for themselves if those funds came from millionaires who earned it with their own hard work. to these people, the idea of those benefits...that *is* theft from millionaires to them, no ifs ands or buts about it. after all, it's theft of their own hard earned money when it's done to them (money taken out of their paycheck in taxes to be used by people who aren't them.).

so when you're talking about the 90s comics and his conservativism & classism therein, i think this is a pretty important worldview to keep in mind because it's very often there, embedded in the story. & his classism, this type of classism imo, so very often intersects with his racism and sexism it is hard to completely separate them, but it's important to. because sometimes it *is* an almost completely separate issue that actually is it's own unique thing that has this exact mindset behind it.

because the 90s comics are filled with this mindset of Good Poor vs Bad Poor, not just Rich vs Poor. the rich vs poor is evident in the ways he writes bruce, tim, and even dick to an extent. they're hardworking rich ppl who are generous & benevolent & do all the good things rich people should do & keep the city safe from the Bad Poors with their vigilanteism. but like, while he writes certain poor people like that, as Bad Poors, based on his biases, it's also extremely evident that not all Poor people are equal to him. a lot seem to be treated as if they deserve their lot in life. some are treated as if they deserve better.

so we need to talk about steph. and i've talked at length before about how i feel dixon evolved perceptions of steph's class throughout her appearances, but there's a lot about steph's treatment in comics that just gets attributed to chuck dixon hates poor people & while that is certainly is probably true-ish, it's not the whole story behind it. because i need to assure you guys that he probably doesn't actually care too much that steph isn't rich or that she has a criminal father or that she has an addict mother, or that's she's poorer than tim, or whatever, because she's a Good Poor despite that. in fact, her having less money is what makes her the better story to tell. her being lower class and an underdog is the point. the american dream starts from the bottom, right? it's a feature, not a bug. she is a Good Poor. to dixon, steph deserves anything & everything she needs. does she need to beat her deadbeat dad up in the prison? she gets it. he's the one making her life hard, so she deserves to give him payback. does steph need to prove her worth as a vigilante? he wanted to give her the ultimate gift of being robin. like he would give her the moon if he could. he loves her so much. and don't just take it from me, here's some of his own words on her:

(source)

so while there are things like "steph is okay with getting talked down to by a rich person because she's a Good Poor" that are emblematic of this brand of classism, her being poorer is not why he made steph lesser than anyone. (that would be his sexism). in fact, her being poorer wasn't why she was a failure to him at all. it's actually a big part of why she was destined to be a future success & a big part why she deserved future success to him. there is nothing that someone with that worldview loves more than someone who is an underdog & wins all the rewards they deserve through their hard work and grit. it's the world working as it should. there is no surprise in my mind that the vaunted role of robin was something he was desperate to give her as a reward for her hard work. & that she would have excelled so much and only would have failed because bruce can't work with her because he can't help but need to protect the womenfolk. or something.

her story from an underdog to achieving great things is something that many people relate too & they can sympathize with the world being against her. her story as an underdog but succeeding despite nobody helping her is a conservative wet dream, it's their idyllic world in action.

tim & steph and the conservativeness of their stories

so. we get to his two main characters & mouthpieces, tim & steph. and the conservativeness of tim's story is very overt & in your face. everyone is aware of it. it's in the very special episodes, the way dixon has him talk down to steph & be a little sexist, the nature of his origin as a rich kid who went to boarding schools. he sails through life, is respected by friends and family, & gets all the training and education he needs. it's aspirational to the male comic book readers. he's a benevolent rich kid who thinks of others & is oh so humble at times, as rich people should be. it's clear as day that he was written by a 90s conservative dude that believes in reaganomics. it's in your face.

it's also relatively easy to dissociate him from the more overt conservative mouthpiecing because of this. especially as he had the benefit of being written by plenty of other writers including alan grant & dennis o'neil who didn't have him quite so bad as all that. so it's easy to be like "this is just dixon talking vs this is who tim should be".

the thing with steph, though, is she's also very, very insidiously a conservative story as well. one from the complete opposite end of the spectrum.

because conservatives love. love. the idea of the american dream. the idea that you can start from nothing, receive no help, & succeed based completely on your own merits without any help. and that. that's completely and utterly baked into every facet of steph's character. everything from her humble beginnings to her success based solely on her own skills and determination despite nobody believing in her is the american dream in a nutshell. and while again, the overt stuff like the pregnancy story are best thrown in the trash, her existence being tied to the idea of the american dream is a little harder. her story is just one who succeeds based entirely on her own merits! if you make it an easier journey, or have her get more help, she loses the charm of the underdog or its relatability. and it's not that it's a bad story at its heart, there's a lot of good there that people relate to & find happiness in, it's just. a very conservative, bootstraps one at its core. the conservatives are at peace with it. they are happy to see it. it means that the system & world worked the way it should. success comes from hard work & determination after all.

all in all, i think it's very easy to just put everything under one big umbrella of classim, but imo the big thing is that there's a belief system there (not one i agree with, personally, but one that's there) that can explain the writing choices more fully.

#anyways i do not personally believe any of these beliefs #but this is how they twist and justify their worldview in their head #and it's very apparent in tim #and always lurking under the surface but even more present for steph

[schrijverr]

Growing Pains [Barbara's POV] 3

Chapter 3 out of 6

Barbara doesn't know who Robin is under the mask, Dick does. This causes some strange interactions as their friendship develops.

In this chapter, Dick seems to have developed a dislike for Barbara, who already has a Robin problem to worry about. Ugh, what a day.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: classism and bullying

~~~~

Chapter 3: Suddenly Shunned

Barbara can’t fucking stop thinking about Robin, the twat that has been making her life miserable ever since she met him lat night. He’s just infuriating and it’s even more infuriating that she can’t stop being infuriated about him.

God, that’s too much infuriated.

He doesn’t deserve the space in her brain. She can do much better than getting mad at some cocky kid that Batman just happened to pick up. She’s the bigger person. She’s more mature. She can shake it off.

But, god, is he annoying. Like, calling her a copycat? Really? She still isn’t really over it. She matched aesthetics, because it has a function and shows cohesion. Being cohesive is a big part in teamwork.

That Robin dick just doesn’t get it and he’s a prick and Barbara should just let it go, no matter how mad he makes her. She has school to focus on and she does need to focus. She can’t have her dad be suspicious because he grades dropped. Not to mention her scholarship.

So, she takes a deep breath and enters Mrs. Holland’s English class. She can just focus on reading some book or another and not think about Robin.

They don’t have a standard seating plan, but Barbara always tries to be in the back corner and most people let her sit there, since everyone kind of has their spot. And indeed her seat is empty this class as well.

However, she’s stopped in her approach by Dick, whose seat is the one in front of hers, where he has sat since his first day. Until now, they haven’t really spoken, since Barbara tries not associate, but their few interactions have been surface level friendly enough. Today, though… today he is giving her a glare.

Barbara has no clue what could have made him glare like that.

She goes over everything that happened, trying to find if she has done anything or if the media has spun something her dad said about the whole Tony Zucco thing. But nothing comes to mind. She lend him a pencil in history, gave him a little smile when they saw each other in the hall and even partnered up with him for that discussion in English class last time.

All in all, she’s been nothing but cordial to Dick, despite not befriending him and hasn’t had an interaction with him outside of school. No matter how indirectly.

Yet something must have ruffled his feathers, since his glare doesn’t let up the entire way to her seat, though he doesn’t go as far as to turn around in his seat to continue glaring. He does, however, huff and look away.

A part of her wants to demand what the hell his problem is, because it is clearly targeted. But she also doesn’t want to cause a scene or be dramatic, when it’s really nothing big or explicit.

The last thing she wants is for her classmates to notice her when she wants to keep a low profile. On top of that, she also doesn’t want to be an asshole to the grieving kid for seemingly no reason, especially since he’s becoming more and more popular.

Barbara had already expected his rise to the top of the social hierarchy before he’d even set foot in the school. Wasn’t hard to guess with his foster father and who his parents had been. Everyone saw it coming, honestly.

She, on the other hand, is not popular. But she doesn’t mind her place on the social ladder. It’s not like she’s all the way at the bottom or something. She doesn’t get bullied, she gets excluded, she’s invisible. And she’s learned to like it there.

It’s useful now too.

However, she finds that it’s incredibly easy for her to become visible now that one of the more popular kids has taken an interest in her. And not in a good way.

All throughout the day, Dick just keeps sending her these looks that she can’t figure out and it’s driving her nuts. He’ll look angry one time, calculating another, then be trying to explode her head with his eyes. And she hasn’t even done anything!

Others are joining in, mindlessly following Dick’s lead, because he’s the new hot shit in town, so he’s their new little leader until the shine wears off and they all go back to mindlessly following after Conrad. Or maybe Dick will take his place. Time will tell, she guesses.

At times like these, she really misses Pamela. Pamela wasn’t from the most well off family – though she was well off enough to afford Temblor and to be at Gotham Middle School Academy – but she wasn’t a part of the elite. So, they’d be able to share a look and giggle when the others were doing stupid shit.

But that’s gone now and Barbara is left to mourn a friendship that never got a chance to fully take off. She sometimes feels like her and Pamela could have been real friends. And it hurts.

She feels even more shunned than usual by her peers and she has no clue why. If she knew what was up, she’d be able to compartmentalize it and shove it away, but now the mystery just keeps gnawing on her and she feels backed up.

All because Dick Grayson has decided her presence is a slight upon today’s rare okay weather. It seems like he’s gotten used to his social standing real quick.

Ugh, Barbara already has enough going on in her life with Robin trying to take her spot, she can’t use additional stress at school. She needs to keep her grades high enough to keep her dad happy and her scholarship in place. He wants the best education for her. She couldn’t care less. Being Batgirl is more important than doing well in English.

Still, not needing something, doesn’t mean it’s not there. So, she feels everyone’s eyes on her, making her more shy, more withdrawn. She has always escaped into her own head, using fantasy’s to cope. Starting all the way back when her mom died.

It’s not really working this day, though.

Like her Robin problem, her Dick problem keeps pulling her attention to the world. She just can’t figure him out and confusion must be visible on her face whenever their eyes meet. Though she is reluctant to do so, eye contact invites confrontation.

Not that Dick seems to be planning any sort of confrontation. He’s just… looking, like he’s studying her. It’s weird.

And it’s just her too, not just a weird quirk that has come out now that he seems more like himself and less like the grieving shell that joined them. She doesn’t know what pulled him out of that slump and she isn’t sure she’s grateful for it either. He doesn’t deserve to be stuck grieving forever, but she could’ve done without his staring.

Specifically his staring at her. To everyone else he’s super nice. Despite what it seemed like he’s a social person under there, easily creating a rapport with most of their classmates. It almost gives her a little whiplash, but she knows what the blanket of grief can do to you.

Naturally, this means that Dick challenges her notion of him during lunch. Where Barbara is sitting even more by herself than usual with more chairs between her and the next person.

It’s lonely and Barbara is hyper aware of the whispers and looks. So, she immediately hears Conrad’s unsubtle voice ask Dick: “Did Miss Scholarship do anything to you?”

Barbara hates it whenever anyone refers to her like that and she clenches her fingers around her utensils as she waits for the inevitable mockery and laughter.

It doesn’t come.

She looks up to see Dick frown in confusion as if he hadn’t realized he’s been glaring daggers at her all day, or like Daphne puts it: “Yeah, you’ve been mean mugging her all day.”

Dick’s face rapidly goes through a series of expressions that Barbara can’t all make out or place, but she definitely sees some confusion, then apprehension, before she sees disgust. Then Dick snaps at his newfound friends: “No, what the hell is wrong with you.”

Now, Barbara is not the only one who is confused by Dick and instead everyone is looking at him with surprise. There really isn’t another reason why he might have been glaring, she realizes, which makes his suddenly violent reaction to the question quite odd.

It seems that Dick realizes the outburst doesn’t fit with his persona, because he slaps on a smile that looks surprisingly real in the circumstances and says: “I mean, no, why would I have a problem with her? I just have a headache.”

That feels like one big lie and Barbara’s suspicion is tickled. That first reaction was his real one, she’s sure of that. Dick is playing at something, but she can’t figure out what he would be playing at. Another infuriating thing on top of many others.

However, it seems that her curiosity is the only one that is piqued, because Conrad says: “Whatever, man,” and turns to another conversation.

And like that, the status quo is returned as people follow Conrad again, like they’ve done for their entire time here. Dick gets left in the dust, the shine starting to wear off on the new kid.

For a second, Dick seems very lonely, sitting at that table surrounded by the other rich kids. Despite the Wayne wealth that he is now a part off, he looks very out of place and Barbara is reminded that a month or so ago, Dick Grayson was a circus performer, not a ward of a billionaire CEO.

She wonders how he ended up there at that table. How he even ended up at the Wayne estate in the first place. There is more to Dick than meets the eye and if she didn’t have the Robin mystery/nuisance to solve, she’s sure she would have put her claws into this instead.

Still, despite compartmentalizing it and shoving it away, she can’t help but study Dick closely and curiously for a second longer.

In that second, Dick – of course – looks her way, locking eyes with her. His eyes aren’t glaring like they’ve done all day, instead they look a little lost. Very expressive, those eyes, Barbara thinks, before remembering the power they hold.

Just because he isn’t a massive asshole, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have social power. He can still make her life difficult and it’s already difficult enough. So, she quickly looks away.

Time will have to tell whether or not Dick can grow to fit in with the other rich kids or if he will flounder. But Barbara isn’t going to give him attention while he figures himself out. She wants to be invisible at school. Just keep her head down and make her dad proud.

Batgirl can handle an infuriating problem that keeps nagging at her brain and won’t be compartmentalized. Barbara on the other hand, has enough problems as it is. She’s not going to make Dick another one of them. Hopefully the shine will wear off on her too.

#rr writing #batman #barbara gordon #barbara gordon is batgirl #batgirl #robin #robin dc #dick grayson #dick grayson is robin #dick grayson and barbara gordon #robin and batgirl #dc #dc comics #growing pains au #bruce wayne #early days batman

[gatheringbones]

["I am anti-Semitic. I am not writing this from a position of moral exemption. My hands are not clean, because like other non-Jews in this society I have swallowed anti-Semitism simply by living here, whether I wanted to or not. At times I've said, fully believing it, that I was not taught anti-Semitism at home growing up in Cleveland in the 1950's. In comparison to the rabid anti-Semitism as well as racism that many white people convey to their children as matter-of-factly as they teach them the alphabet and how to tie their shoes, my perception of what was going on in my house is accurate. But only relatively.

On rare occasions things were said about Jews by members of my family, just as comments were made about white people in general, and about Cleveland's numerous European immigrant groups in particular. My family had "emigrated" too from the rural South during the 1920's, 30's, and 40's and their major observation about Jewish and other white people was that they could come to this country with nothing and in a relatively short period "make it." Our people, on the other hand, had been here for centuries and continued to occupy a permanent position on society's bottom. When I was growing up there were Jewish people living in Shaker Heights, one of the richest suburbs in the U.S., where Blacks were not allowed to purchase property even if they had the money, which most, of course, did not. The fact that Jews were completely barred from other suburbs and perhaps restricted to certain sections of Shaker Heights was not of great import to us. I remember vividly when my aunt and uncle (my mother's sister and brother) were each trying to buy houses in the 1950's. They searched for months on end because so many neighborhoods in the inner city including working-class ones were also racially segregated. I was six or seven, but I remember their exhausted night-time conversations about the problem of where they might be able to move. I felt their anger, frustration, and shame that they could not provide for their families on such a basic level. The problem was white people, segregation, and racism. Some Jews were, of course, a part of that, but I don't remember them being especially singled out. I did not hear anti-Semitic epithets or a litany of stereotypes. I do remember my uncle saying more than once that when they didn't let "the Jew" in somewhere, he went and built his own. His words were edged with both envy and admiration. I got the message that these people knew how to take care of themselves, that we could learn a lesson from them and stop begging the white man for acceptance or even legal integration.

Despite how I was raised, what I've come to realize is that even if I didn't learn anti-Semitism at home, I learned it. I knew all the stereotypes and ugly words not just for Jews, but for every outcast group, including my own. Such knowledge goes with the territory. Classism, racism, homophobia, anti-Semitism, and sexism float in the air, are embedded in the very soil. No matter how cool things are at home, you catch them simply by walking out of the house and turning on the t.v. or opening up a newspaper inside the house. In the introduction to Home Girls, I wrote about the unsettling relationship to how I sometimes view other women of color:

Like many other Black women, I know very little about the lives of other Third World women. I want to know more and I also want to put myself into situations where I have to learn. It isn't easy because, for one thing, I keep discovering how deep my own prejudice goes. I feel so very American when I realize that simply by being Black I have not escaped the typical American ways of perceiving people who are different from myself.

I never believe white people when they tell me they aren't racist. I have no reason to. Depending on the person's actions I might possibly believe that they are actively engaged in opposing racism, are anti-racist, at the very same time they continue to be racially ignorant and cannot help but be influenced as white people by this system's hatred of people of color. Unwittingly, anti-racist whites may collude at times in the very system they are trying to fight. In her article, "Racism and Writing: Some Implications for White Lesbian Critics," Elly Bulkin incisively makes the distinction between the reality of being actively anti-racist and the illusion of being non-racist— that is, totally innocent. She applies to racism, as I do here to anti-Semitism, the understanding that it is neither possible nor necessary to be morally exempt in order to stand in opposition to oppression. I stress this point because I want everybody reading this, and particularly Black women, to know that I am not writing from the position of having solved anything and because I have also heard other Black women, white non-Jewish women, and at times myself say, "But I'm not anti-Semitic." This kind of denial effectively stops discussion, places the burden of "proof" upon the person(s) experiencing the oppression, and makes it nearly impossible ever to get to the stage of saying: "This is an intolerable situation. What are we going to do about it?"]

Barbara Smith, Yours In Struggle: Three Feminist Perspectives On Anti-Semitism and Racism, Firebrand Books, 1984

#Barbara Smith #lesbian literature #history stuff #wasteland radio

[severetimetravelnerd]

DROP THE ACT(FT.HONGJOONG) (PART 5)

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” -Oscar Wilde

You and Hongjoong couldn’t stand each other…right?

I only write on this blog on Tumblr, so if you see my work on any other platform, please let me know immediately.

Taglist: @kwonnansi ; @unabashedturkeytreeslime ; @happiestgirlontheeastcoast ; @to-all-the-stories-i-love ; @bangtanxberm ; @bunnybubkook​ ; @nctflix​

Appearances from the Wooyoung and Seonghwa, and also Sunwoo from The Boyz

Helloooooo~ I hope you enjoy Part 5! This is my favourite chapter, so do leave me notes and comments about what you thought :))) 

My update schedule is not fixed, so please do let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

RIVALS TO LOVERS AU, IDIOTS TO LOVERS AU, Not exactly Enemies, but kinda, FAKE DATING AU

Warnings: Cursing, talk of snobby families, kissing, mentions of alcoholism, arranged marriages, breakups, partial smut, blatant classism.

Word count: 3100

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut in later chapters

————————————–

You excused yourself early that night, only pausing to text Hongjoong as you drove home. Hongjoong himself only realised you were gone when Seonghwa was looking for you and he offered to call you. As he took out his phone, he saw your terse text.

- Hey

- I’m not feeling too good, so I’m going to head home

And immediately, he felt dread overcome him. It just felt...off. 

His brain went into overdrive. Shit. Were you that upset about the kiss? Things did get weird only after the kiss. Granted, with the way your parents had been glaring at you, he did have to kiss you, but he’d be lying if he said most of it wasn’t just him wanting to kiss you. And he did. He did lie to you. Partly because he was afraid of your reaction, even if you did get caught up in the moment and kiss him back. Mostly because he was terrified of what it meant. He hated you. He hated you and your family with his entire soul. How could he want to kiss you? 

No. It was just a temporary lapse in judgement. Call it the moment. Call it confusion. Call it whatever. But he most definitely did not want to kiss you. Even as his hands were aching to hold you again, that night, in bed, he told himself over and over again that he did not want to kiss you.

---

It was easy for you to avoid Hongjoong for the next few days, as there were no parties or galas. Of course, you could have texted him. Or he could have texted you. But neither of you did that. You threw yourself back into work. At least, you tried to.

A week after you last saw Hongjoong, you snapped your laptop shut after reading an email from the marketing team about your new cologne launch. It had a ‘woodsy’ scent. Fucking hell, of course, it had the one thing you associate with him. Okay, maybe not one thing. Maybe every perfume note that smelled like him sent you spiralling, which was inconvenient since you sold perfume for a living. You groaned and leaned back in your chair, marvelling at the situation you got yourself into when you jumped hearing someone knock on your door.

“Come in.”

The door swung open, and a very familiar head of short, wavy hair popped in. In seconds, your expression went from tired to complete and utter shock. 

“Mirae?!”

She shut the door behind her and smiled nervously as she pulled you into a hug.

“Y/N!”

You stared at her, still in disbelief. You missed her. Of course you missed her. She was your best friend. Is your best friend. No matter how upset you were with her for disappearing for three years, you still loved her. But were you pissed as hell? Yes.

You raised an eyebrow as you stared at her.

She took a deep breath before coming to sit down in front of you.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

You turned and looked around.

“Oh, are you talking to me? I’m sorry, I thought you forgot how to talk.”

You gave her a pointed look. She gave you a sheepish one.

“Are you done being petty?”

“Nope. You’re going to hear about this for a really long time.”

“Fair enough.”

The two of you sat there in silence for a few minutes before she broke it. 

“Can I at least explain why I disappeared?”

You nodded.

“Do you remember, around 4 years ago, I started dating this guy called Kim Hongjoong?”

You tensed immediately but simply nodded in agreement. 

“Well, I never wanted to date him. My family…well, let’s just say that business wasn’t going well. My dad looked around and became fixated with Hongjoong. He was rich and was new to the business, so he didn’t know about my dad’s drinking problem. So, my dad forced me to date Hongjoong. He tried to force me to marry Hongjoong.”

Mirae paused for a second, clearly finding it difficult to talk about.

“I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Not that Hongjoong was a bad guy. He was great. I just…I didn’t love him. And I did not want to marry him. So I made plans to run away. You remember my cousin Kiara, right? Yeah, she let me stay with her. Just before I left, I told you he broke my heart and I told him you forced me to break up with him. I’m sorry. I was desperate. I texted you before boarding the flight and yeah…I disappeared.”

You stared at her wide-eyed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“…I don’t know. It was just hard to admit that my family is that fucked up.”

You quickly hugged her, feeling awful. You weren’t even able to help your best friend when she needed it. What kind of a friend were you?

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Mirae. I should have been there for you.”

“No! You were there for me. I was just having a tough time talking about it.”

“Is it safe for you to be back here?”

“Yeah. My mom covered for me. And they just got divorced the other day. So yeah,” she turned to give you the happiest smile you’d seen from her in a long time, “I’m staying with my mom.”

---

The two of you spent ages catching up and only when she left did it sink it. You had no reason to hate Hongjoong. You didn’t even have to feel guilty about it anymore. Just like that, so much tension left your body. You knew there was something there. There had to be. You knew it wasn’t just you. And maybe, maybe like you, Hongjoong was also conflicted. Maybe he didn’t know what to do, since he thought he hated you. God, you had to tell him. You absolutely had to tell him. You two could finally drop the act of hating each other and just…be you.

You drove to Hongjoong’s office, knowing full well he wouldn’t go home before 6.

You walked down the hallway of the empty office, the employees having gone home for the day, and with each passing step, you felt your heart lift with a kind of elation. It was freeing to stop pretending to hate him. And you knew. You knew deep down you had always liked him. You didn’t have to suppress it anymore. 

You quickened your step. 

Hongjoong had to feel something. He could also give up the ridiculous farce of hating you. He kissed you for god’s sake. He even stayed with you the night of the storm. He took you out on a picnic just so you could relax. There had to be something there. There absolutely had to be. 

And that was when you saw the open door of his office. 

You frowned. That wasn’t like Hongjoong. He had the most peculiar habit of locking every door he could find. Suddenly, you started to feel uneasy. Peeking through the door, you felt your skin crawl as your instinct was proven right. 

Hongjoong was there, sitting on the couch in his office. But he wasn’t alone. There was a topless woman straddling him, with his hands wrapped around her waist as she unbuttoned his shirt. You wanted to claw your eyes out because of the sight of Hongjoong with another woman…you were desperately pinching yourself to take away from the pain in your chest. Yeah, you knew he met a lot of women, but to actually see it…it made you feel sick. And that’s when you heard them.

Hongjoong was trying to kiss her when she pulled away with a glare. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Jia, that’s not true.”

“Oh, so you mean to tell me you’re not dating Y/N?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Then what is that all about?”

“It’s just another ploy by an ice-cold, money-hungry bitch who is terrified of parting with her money.”

There was silence for a minute before Jia burst out laughing. 

You could feel your knees get weaker. That was what he thought of you? That was why he thought you were doing this? You dug your nails into your palms hard, drawing blood.

“I see you still think of her the same way.”

He leaned back lazily.

“Of course. She made Mirae break up with me just because I didn’t come from wealth, like her.”

“So... is this all just to prove something?”

“I mean, it is a massive fuck you to her family’s snobbery, so that’s a plus.”

You couldn’t breathe. All this while, Hongjoong thought that was why you hated him? And he still thought of you the same way? Even after getting to know you? Even after you thought he had worked past it? Even after pretending to care? Everything he was doing was just to prove a point? A ‘fuck you’? All the time you thought you shared something was just that? 

And just like that, the way he called you princess made you sick. 

You walked away as quietly as you could, eyes screwing shut when you heard the moans behind you. As you walked to your car, you felt this overwhelming weight. 

You should have known. You really should have known. 

Even as you sat there in your car, trying to calm down before driving, as you told yourself that he was an asshole and it didn’t matter, you knew you were lying. Hongjoong…mattered. And yes, seeing him with another woman hurt, but it was the fact that he thought you hated him because he didn’t come from wealth that killed you. All of a sudden, you were frantically rethinking every interaction with him and trying to see what you did that made him feel that way. 

The princess thing, the picnic…it was all just a ‘fuck you’ to your family?

It was nothing new. They all left in the end anyway. Sunwoo? He left. Mirae? She left. Your parents? You laughed. You never even had them in the first place. Why would Hongjoong be any different? You shouldn’t have been surprised. Yet, you were. Because you thought he knew you. You thought you knew him. And most of all, you thought he would stay. 

---

Your eyes were listless as you stood in your parent’s living room, sipping on water, deliberately ignoring the obnoxious conversations happening around you. You didn’t even bother looking up every time you heard pointed digs at your love life or pointed nudges about Sunwoo. In fact, if you had been okay, you would have noticed that your mother was unusually warm. But you didn’t. 

Her insistence on you coming home for dinner, her warmth, everything…it all fell into place when you saw Sunwoo walk through the front door with a bag of food. He froze when he saw you. Dressed in his old grey hoodie and black puffy jacket from high school, he clearly was not expecting to walk into a family dinner. His wince when he felt your aunt’s nails on his arm gave away the fact that he was very much unhappy about being there. You heard your mom voice out confirmation for what you knew she had orchestrated. 

“Oh, Sunwoo! Is that the cake your mom sent?”

“Uh…yes.”

“Sweetie, why don’t you join us for dinner?”

Your mother hugged him and looked up at him in a way that made it clear that it wasn’t a question he could say no to. He could only gulp and nod. 

He almost immediately made his way to stand next to you, leaning back against the wall. He tilted his head towards you and smirked. In that moment, a flash of memories flooded you. All those parties where you and Sunwoo would stand like this, quietly whispering and warning each other about potential boring and judgmental adults. He leaned in and conspiratorially whispered,

“They got you too?”

And normally, you would have played along, but you were so tired. You were so done. You were so alone. You simply nodded. 

The way Sunwoo turned to you immediately knowing something was wrong was almost frustrating. He knew you well. Too well. 

---

An hour later, you were seated next to Sunwoo at the formally laid out dining table. It was always formally laid out. No one was ever there to mess it up. No one ever rushed with warm food and accidentally spilt some over in their enthusiasm. No one ever fought over who got more food. No one ever laughed over the table. It was always cold and isolated. And your family liked it. They liked that it was a house, not a home.

You were forcing yourself to eat the food on your plate, tuning out from the conversation around you when you heard Hongjoong’s name. No one had said anything too direct about him, so immediately, without even meaning to, you started paying attention. It was your father’s brother who started it. Of course. 

“Thank god I didn’t have to go to that party by Aurora Mists. That bloody upstart Hongjoong. I don’t think I could have kept a straight face.”

Your gaze stayed down on your soup. No one would have known a thing about how you felt. Except for Sunwoo. He saw your grip on the spoon tighten, and he watched you carefully, knowing you were upset.

You heard another voice chime in. And another. And another. It was too much for you to take in. You could only make out what was said last.

“He makes such a fool of himself. And oh my god, his clothes. They’re so trashy.”

Your voice was quiet when you replied.

“I like his clothes.”

It was so quiet that none of them heard you. No one other than Sunwoo heard you. He reached out to hold your hand, just about managing to comfort you, when you heard your mother sniff.

“His background really shows in his lack of taste.”

You slammed your spoon down, relishing in the stunned silence that followed. Your voice was louder this time around.

“I like his clothes. I like his taste. What’s so wrong about it?”

Your father looked aghast. 

“But Y/N, he…”

“What? He what?”

“He doesn’t come from a good background.”

“You mean he can actually earn money without bribing half the politicians in the city?”

You looked around again, daring them to say anything. 

“Don’t ever talk about my boyfriend this way again.”

You stood up, the sound of the chair grazing the floor making your mother flinch. It was exhilarating, doing the very thing she rebuked you for all your life. And you walked out of the room.

---

You were standing on your balcony, grateful for the peace of your locked room. You could sneak out down the tree and get away from them. You just needed to stop shaking first. 

Subconsciously, you registered the rustling from the tree, but you still jumped when a figure landed on your balcony. You turned towards them, moving away when the figure stepped into the light.

“Relax, it’s me.”

And you did. You did relax the moment you saw it was Sunwoo.

Trying to keep the mood light, you forced a smile.

“You couldn’t knock?”

And for the first time since he got back, you heard him sound angry.

“Don’t.”

“…Don’t what?”

“Don’t pull this bullshit where you act like you’re okay.”

You stared at him in silence, registering what he said. He moved towards the wall and sat down, waiting for you to occupy the spot next to him. You did. He stared at you, finally back to the old Sunwoo you knew, with no filter.

“What’s going on with you and Hongjoong?”

You couldn’t look at him when you answered.

“We were faking being in a relationship to avoid a merger with you.”

Whatever Sunwoo was expecting, it was not that. He blinked twice.

“What?”

“Your family wants to merge companies. I don’t want to. But I’m under family pressure to merge. Hongjoong…he has his reasons.”

Sunwoo just nodded, staying silent. You knew he was waiting for you to continue. 

“I caught feelings. And I thought they were mutual. But he hates me. And he thinks I hate him like my family does.”

You turned to look at him, and his heart broke at how tired you looked.

“I can’t do this anymore Sunwoo. I’m so alone.”

His voice had the slightest tremble when he said,

“No. You’re not.”

You couldn’t hold back the biting laughter.

“But I am. I don’t have my family. I don’t have you. You left and you never fucking kept in touch. I don’t have Mirae. And I definitely don’t have Hongjoong, but I was stupid enough to think I did.”

Sunwoo stayed silent for a minute before he turned towards you.

“You know why I was trying for the merger? I couldn’t care less about it. I just thought it might give me a shot with you.”

You turned towards him, confused.

“You know why I was trying to be flirty and suave? Because I was desperately trying to impress you. You want to know why I didn’t keep in touch? Because I panicked.”

He was pale and looked nervous enough to throw up, but determined to continue. Your gaze flickered down to the vein straining against the skin on his neck. He was clearly upset.

“I panicked because I’ve fucking been in love with you ever since I was thirteen. So, no, I’d say you definitely have me.”

His eyes went down to your lips before turning away.

“My parents won’t push it if they see you with Hongjoong, so I’ll make sure they’re there at the next event you attend with him. You don’t have to put yourself through this anymore.”

Your mind was blank. You really couldn’t comprehend what just happened. But you did know Sunwoo was upset and out of reflex, you pulled him in for a hug.

“Sunwoo, I’m sorry, I”- 

He hugged you tight, desperately trying to take in every bit of you.

“Y/N, it’s-it’s okay.” He took a shaky breath. “I know you don’t feel that way about me right now. Maybe you will someday. Maybe not. And I swear we can put this behind us. Things will go back to normal, no matter what you feel for me. But '', he looked up at you with feral eyes ``use me. You can use me to get over Hongjoong.” He brought your hands to his chest. “Use me however you want to get over Hongjoong.”

---------------------------------

Copyright © 2020-2022 @severetimetravelnerd All rights reserved.

Any unlawful and unauthorized sharing of these works will result in legal action.

(Reblogs are good :) )

#hongjoong angst #hongjoong fluff #hongjoong x reader #hongjoong x y/n #ateez angst #ateez fluff #hongjoong series #ateez series #idiots to lovers #rivals to lovers #fake dating au #hongjoong scenarios #ateez scenarios #sunwoo angst

[ilianchant]

Alright. Let’s talk accents, dialects and languages.

To preface this; especially when it comes to dialect and language, definitions are very muddy and complicated and this will only have an extremely simplified definition without going too deep into Linguistics. Plus, many factors . This is meant to be for roleplay and not a paper after all. To start, I’ll just put down some terms and how I’d describe them.

Accent: The way someone talks and the way the pronounce words.  Dialect: Pronunciation AND an own vocabulary and / or grammar. I use dialect to encompass regiolects, sociolects and other -lects. Language: “a dialect with an army and a navy” - normally meant to use a standardised way of writing and speaking in a sociopolitical sphere. 

Dialects and accents are not always seen negatively, and there’s a hierarchy. 

Meaning that not always do people look down on those who speak a dialect; it really depends on the dialect in itself, how and when and where they grew up, rural or in a city, did they move during their lifetime, and sometimes even just on the teacher they had at school.  In some areas, speaking a dialect ( no matter which one ) is frowned upon, but that doesn’t mean that it’s exactly the same in another area where it’s fully accepted in every aspect of daily life; professional or not, no matter the social class. On the other hand, speaking that very same dialect in another place may be mocked and be treated as someone being uneducated, but also seen as interesting, nice, hot or whatever. Same for accents. It really really depends on the dialect/accent and the context in which the muse is moving in.

Dialects can vary in a very small space.

And yes - it can vary from village to village. You probably heard things like “WHICH British  accent/dialect”, with British also being replace by other regions and nationalities. And this, yet again, varies a lot from country to country and their respective history.

This means that there are many intricacies and subcategories and not just, for example, Bavarian. Should you name that very specific dialect your muse (may) speak? No, unless you want to. At the same time, please be aware that those differences exist. 

Classism is rampant. 

Yes, everyone can be classist. I think no sane person would give their muse a racist accent ( I won’t demonstrate one because it’s disgusting. But I’m sure you can think of examples. ), but I’ve seen it so often, that people laugh at how a character or a muse talks, especially if they come from a less fortunate background, think like, for example, anti-social lower-class youth in the UK - or chavs.

Dialects are still seen, in many parts of the world, as an inferior form of language, or the inability to speak the standardised language, or in worst cases, makes the speaker seem less intelligent or professional and other negative connotations. An example we all well know would be AAVE, and I don’t have to tell anyone about that stigma. But that also applies to working class dialects as mentioned before, or dialects traditionally associated with them (or just being a sociolect). Plus, don’t forget how in many parts, dialects were and are actively suppressed, so speaking them means you’re uneducated, stupid and whatnot.  You wouldn’t mock someone in real life for their accent or when they speak dialect, right? 

And as I said - everyone can be classist in that regard, and at worst, also be xenophobic or racist, especially if it’s about ESL speakers, but that’s worth a whole other discussion. That doesn’t mean that you are, but for everyone, there’s potential for it. And it’s a very easy trap to fall into once you choose to transcribe how a muse speaks phonetically. Which also can contain mistakes and errors.

Everyone uses their own vocabulary.

We all know those lists with British English and American English where they show the differences in vocabulary, but as you certainly now, this also varies inside a country. So even if you don’t sound like you’re speaking dialect and rather use the standard pronounciation, the words you use also hint at where you’re coming from, likewise with your muse. So if you don’t want or can’t write up the phonetic transcription of how your muse speaks, they most likely use a vocabuary from the region they come from - if you’re from another place, that’s also something that you can look up. Makes them all more believable.

What are solutions?

Not to just point fingers without providing any solution. Just to make it short: research, research, research. Not only on languages, dialects and accents in themselves as in how to transcribe them (if you choose to), but also the history of the region and country. How is my dialect viewed, in and out of the group? Do people prefer the standardised language? Has there been a history of language suppression? What are typical words and idioms from where my muse is from, where they have lived? 

But also, most importantly - dialects and accents are not an exotic gimmick to make a muse more interesting.  

#{ ORDERS? // psa. } #ok to reblog #(and comment) #rp help

[agentrouka-blog]

It's often said that Ned was the first to use Sansa as a pawn via the betrothal to Joffrey, but Catelyn's part is ignored. She actively encouraged him to accept the arrangement, was even eager for Sansa to be "used as a pawn" for their family's benefit. Ned is responsible for his own decisions and it's fair to hold him accountable, but it feels very disingenuous to erase Catelyn's accountability and put it all on Ned because "patriarchy." Sansa was failed by both parents in this, not just one.

I don’t know if these two asks are from the same person, but I’m grouping them together, because they concern the same thing:

apologies, i know i sound petulant, but i saw you say once that you don't blame ned for all of sansa's issues, but reading your posts, it seems like you do? not just you, every conversation in the sansa fandom anymore about something bad that happened to her, or a mistake she made, immediately devolves into "if NED hadn't done this or if NED hadn't done that or if NED hadn't failed her." idk how to interpret that except that he's blamed for all her woes, all her insecurities, all her flaws.

Preface: It is kind of impossible to leave out “because patriarchy” because that is the entire point of it. Both Ned and Cat as characters, as partners and as parents, are products of a deeply sexist, patriarchical society that harms ist most vulnerable members. The most vulnerable to Ned and Cat are their kids. Judging by what other parents are capable of (Lannisters, Tarlys), they are downright enlightened. And yet. Cat has internalized the misogyny and sexism the same way Ned has, no denying, but that doesn’t change the fact that Ned has all the actual legal power of decision-making when it comes to their family, and that this made clear in their confrontation.

1) Equal levels of blame. I agree that Cat hands Sansa over to Joffrey same as Ned. I don’t believe anybody is “erasing” that. Unlike Ned, she is driven by tangible fear for her family, and she actually becomes more uncertain of the choice while Ned changes his mind. At first, he wants to reject Robert’s offer, Cat is aghast.

“He will not understand that. He is a king now, and kings are not like other men. If you refuse to serve him, he will wonder why, and sooner or later he will begin to suspect that you oppose him. Can’t you see the danger that would put us in?” (…) Catelyn remembered the direwolf dead in the snow, the broken antler lodged deep in her throat. She had to make him see. “Pride is everything to a king, my lord. Robert came all this way to see you, to bring you these great honors, you cannot throw them back in his face.” “Honors?” Ned laughed bitterly. “In his eyes, yes,” she said. “And in yours?” “And in mine,” she blazed, angry now. Why couldn’t he see? “He offers his own son in marriage to our daughter, what else would you call that? Sansa might someday be queen. Her sons could rule from the Wall to the mountains of Dorne. What is so wrong with that?” “Gods, Catelyn, Sansa is only eleven,” Ned said. “And Joffrey … Joffrey is …” She finished for him. “… crown prince, and heir to the Iron Throne. And I was only twelve when my father promised me to your brother Brandon.”

It is a mix of sincere fear that rejecting Robert’s offers might mean danger, and her internalized sexism (and classism) which tells Cat this match is the best that Sansa can ever hope to get. Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. In a world where all your power derrives from the men in your family, that is the greatest amount of indirect political power any woman could hope to obtain - husband willing. Every husband would be a gamble in terms of character, and she herself intenalized an acceptance of infidelity and inequality as a girl. A happy marriage is not a priority for Cat, a sensible, dynastically advantageous one is. Unlike Sansa, Cat has no romantic illusions about marriage and is not about to make that a priority for her daughter. Because patriarchy. 

But, there is no suggestion yet that Sansa would be literally handed over to strangers right then with next to no supervision. Catelyn stayed at home in Riverrun until the day she was married.

After they are interrupted by Luwin with Lysa’s message, Cat becomes more insistent that Ned should head South. But NOT more insistent that Sansa should be betrothed to Joffrey. Ned tells Cat to remain in WF with Robb.

Then silence fell, until Catelyn found her courage and asked the question whose answer she most dreaded. “What of the other children?” Ned stood, and took her in his arms, and held her face close to his. “Rickon is very young,” he said gently. “He should stay here with you and Robb. The others I would take with me.” “I could not bear it,” Catelyn said, trembling. “You must,” he said. “Sansa must wed Joffrey, that is clear now, we must give them no grounds to suspect our devotion. And it is past time that Arya learned the ways of a southron court. In a few years she will be of an age to marry too.” Sansa would shine in the south, Catelyn thought to herself, and the gods knew that Arya needed refinement. Reluctantly, she let go of them in her heart. But not Bran. Never Bran.

Cat is almost surprised that Ned intends to take three of their children down south with him. THIS was Ned’s idea, not hers. And while she doesn’t really fight him on it and convinces herself of his logic, it is also made clear that this is a “My decision is final” moment for Ned. “You must”. Their relationship is not truly equal. Because patriarchy. 

“Yes,” she said, “but please, Ned, for the love you bear me, let Bran remain here at Winterfell. He is only seven.” 

“I was eight when my father sent me to foster at the Eyrie,” Ned said. “Ser Rodrik tells me there is bad feeling between Robb and Prince Joffrey. That is not healthy. Bran can bridge that distance. He is a sweet boy, quick to laugh, easy to love. Let him grow up with the young princes, let him become their friend as Robert became mine. Our House will be the safer for it.” He was right; Catelyn knew it. It did not make the pain any easier to bear.

He uses the same argument Catelyn used about Sansa’s betrothal to convince her about Bran. I was twelve... I was eight… It did me no harm, it won’t do them harm. Our House will be safer for it. Both Bran and Sansa are political tools to their parents, even at their tender age. If Cat had the final choice, they would have stayed at home, but she does agree with Ned. So I do agree that they both together decide to throw them into a very uncertain situation. Ned decides, Cat abides.

2) Unequal levels of blame. When things go down, it is Ned who is in charge of his two daughters. Cat was reluctant to send them South but I assume she was hoping he would, you know, do actual parenting. But here is where we see him make grave mistakes of indulgence and neglect. And that is why there is more focus on Ned failing Sansa (and Arya!) as a father than there is on Cat as a mother. We never even see Cat interact with her daughters. Mind, Cat is failing Robb and Rickon in the same way back home, buried in grief for Bran’s injury. But while Cat throws herself into the path of Valyrian steel, and is saved by Summer and comes to regard the wolves with more fierce devotion than even Robb, Ned kills Lady at Robert’s behest and barely puts up a fight about it. Because his king ordered him to do it. And because his daughter’s pain is not reason enough to refuse an idiotic order like that. Because patriarchy. 

3) I am not a Cat fan. I like her, I even like her better than Ned, but their subscription to the sexist values of their time hurts them both and makes them culprits, too. Ned takes advantage of his power from time to time, he doesn’t refrain from scaring Cat early in their marriage (while cuddling in bed, no less) and from almost bruising her arm in the scene above. He even gets petulant when their arguments convince him. (”The Others take both of you.”) Cat, meanwhile, is numbed to feeling the kind of empathy you would hope for from someone as perceptive as her. We get extremely little sympathy from her over Lysa’s, basically, entire life. She doesn’t even consider Joffrey’s personality when contemplating Sansa’s match. Her first consideration of young brides are whether or not they have child-birthing hips. A trail-blazing feminist, she is not. But within this framework of sexism and patriarchy, she is not the one with the power. Ned is. And he uses it. So I will hold him accountable for that, too. 

So, yeah, I don’t hate either of them. Imperfect parents are a fact of life, and I find them - and what GRRM expresses with them, this inevitability of doing things wrong by your children in some way, even with the best of intentions - fascinating and valuable and indispensible. But I don’t want any of their children to BE them. Ned and Cat 2.0 is actually the last thing I want. I want their children to surpass them in every way, but especially in terms of equality within relationships. 

#asoiaf #eddard stark #catelyn stark #patriarchy #sexism #parenting #asks #my posts

[artsynimbus]

MK couldn't write racism so they turned the faunus subplot into Everyone Loves Blake. Seriously all the major players: Adam, Ilia, Sun, and eventually Yang for some reason. It's both hilarious and pathetic how they bungled up this topic.

Can I also include Weiss being a major player/ultimate ally if she was written to be- and if they really wanted to put it together, have Weiss and Blake dismantle a huge part of the injustices going on with the faunus which would’ve been a huge character growth thing for Weiss (not like the little bit we’ve seen hasn’t been.. cute) and solid personal growth thing for Blake (referencing how she was apart of the radical part of the WF and did some bad shit of which Roman referenced, but her confronting that and changing it could’ve been a huge thing for her-) ..you know if MK gave a shit and really wanted to work on that instead of shipping. Like, allow me to vent but, V1 introduces these heavy topics and “illegal labor forces” which lets be honest is a sugared up way of saying slave labor, being a thing  right? And this is something Blake addresses to Weiss who seemed very ignorant of this being a fact-  which i mean looking at it perspectively, have we ever seen illegal slave labor in RWBY? No, so why would we believe Blake over Weiss? The only thing we can really go off on is that Blake has been apart of the WF since childhood- its been her life so she would know almost everything revolving around the subject of classism and racism toward the faunus, so its easy to believe her right? So then why wouldn’t they show that, or at least have Weiss have an inkling of interest into looking into that? Is it because having the rich princess realize her wealth and status was built off the bodies of the faunus would be too dark a subject? Like I’m still confused as to why this has never been addressed or looked into by Weiss at all. By V4 when she was literally doing nothing but being sad and lamenting that she was back at her shitty home  with her shitty dad, i thought the writing would take that turn- but nope, Weiss is running away from home because it sucks and dads a meanie. Like.. wow.. being at home could’ve given you access to your fathers files and perhaps proof of what blake was saying as being true, and this evidence could’ve had you take your father down volumes ago--- even if she wasn’t going to do that, M&K could’ve wrote her running away from home cause she knows where these slave labor camps are, and shes there to fuck shit up to liberate some faunus-- but nah thats too deep right?? Lets get very surface level and just show that yeah her dad is mean and hits her and thats why shes really running away and also look at this Freezerburn goodness! Like I’m not saying her dad being a shitty abusive character isn’t bad, but its surface level drama that eclipses a gigantic issue that literally affects a whole race of people and treats them as second class citizens- why are the viewers of this show subjected to focus on the former rather the latter- or why isn’t the former connected to that latter? Why wouldnt Weiss let her dads abuse and corrupt behaviors be illustrated as a motivation that drives her to end her fathers reign of the SDC? Why is surface level drama eclipsing the deep issues a reoccuring thing within the show? Why didn’t they do anything with what they’ve given us volumes ago regarding the subject of racism and classism of the faunus? Even bigger, why introduce ANYTHING about the subject of racism when its clear youre picking and choosing what can be seen and discussed- which by the way is extremely offensive in my opinion. Racism AS A WHOLE  is fucked up and how cute it must be to literally look into it as a writer and be like “yeah we won’t show the dark stuff regarding this issue cause we don’t want our viewers who don’t know what discrimination and racism is like to feel sad, but lets villainize the radicals born from this issue, and lets also heavily focus on having teenage boys bully bunny girls, and have people glare at a cute cat girls just cause they’re faunus” just to keep around the underlining message that ‘hey this is bad’ . O k a y   y e a h   it is, but what are the heroes that we’re focusing on gonna do about it? And why are we automatically demonizing the faction born from hate from the humans? If perspectivism is put into play we can easily say yes, adam and sienna are wrong, BUT so are humans that allow this construct to continue- the only characters who attempted to do anything about this issue in the entirety of the show has been Blake with Sun following her lead(at the WF rally and Menagerie). So wtf am I supposed to think as a viewer, about everyone else and/or this theme? Is Racism a Faunus issue that the faunus have to solve? How does that make sense??? And i get that right now with Salem, tackling the faunus issue would be a lot to juggle, but ALL of this could’ve been worked on BEFORE Salem was introduced- and Not to mention she’s just a bootleg Kaguya(naruto) plotting and planning at a round table with a bunch of buffoons we’re supposed to pretend are overpowered sooo...??? I really don’t get why the subject has been kept on the back-burner for so long...but then again i do know so whatever right?

#my inbox #answers #rwde #rant

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Soulless Riffing: Brainless Wrap-up

I got a supernatural action/romance book series as a gift that’s just riddled with stuff that I hate….and as a steampunk Victorian London action romance story filled with werewolves and vampires…it’s yeah gonna be easy to poke fun at.

I just want to say, it’s totally cool if you like this story or ones like it!  It’s certainly a better caliber than a lot of what I make fun of…however…I can’t help but want to make fun of it.

Over here for the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7+8, 9, 10+11, 12, 13, 14, and Epilogue.

So here are my final thoughts on the book Soulless for those interested in such things:

It’s not good quality but hell, you’re probably not reading magical woman in Victorian times bangs hot werewolf while hitting zombies with an umbrella cause you want really deep themes and tight prose.

Despite my grumblings on Alexia’s Italian prosecution complex and supernaturals as an oppressed race, it’s not really that problematic.  I think it’s a pinch ignorant and unintentionally glib, but dang I’ve seen way worse.

I think the book’s greatest strength and weakness are kinda one in the same, it just depends on your perspective. 

That would be the abiding and consistent frivolousness of it all.  I personally feel as if it hurts the story cause it feels as if there’s no stakes and that the conflict doesn’t matter.  But you can see the appeal.  Even when shit is really going down, it’s not properly stressful or scary.  Humor is never far away, it’s just straight up fluff!

The plot contradicts itself for no apparent reason, it has giant holes, and what sense it does make is highly dependent on every single character (even ones meant to be smart) not having enough brain function to make sentences by themselves.

This is more subjective but the relationship at the center wasn’t great if you ask me. The conflict is all childish, with no suspense that it’ll be a more than chapter long hindrance. The main differences in their personalities are basically on gendered lines, with a little werewolf vs. human culture for color.  Alexia has lower self-esteem, gets sad sometimes, is more likely to be polite, and is more reluctant about a sexual relationship.  Besides that they’re incredibly similar to one another. They’re antagonistic, strong-willed, self-righteous, frivolous, stupid, short-sighted, not self-aware, and have similar politics. They’re so similar when they have an argument they just circle the drain.  Nobody adds anything or learns because they’re just vomiting the same unprocessed, inept perspective at one another.  You’ll never be short on conflict, but it’s all non-arguments about petty bullshit that don’t even manage to be funny.  

For something that’s meant to be fun and frivolous there’s a surprising lack of action and sex. The story wants to both be kinda that virginal ravishment and female empowered libidos at the same time and it just...doesn’t mesh. I honestly feel they should have leaned more on having a horny protag, and just played up feigning confidence, clumsiness, with a bit of uncertainty.  Instead Alexia both wants to both spend a week locked in a cabin fucking this man, but also IS THIS AROUSAL????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!?!?!?!  There is 1 page of a sex scene, the make out scenes were frankly underwhelming and froze the pacing, and Alexia only has 1 proper fight in it all and that’s over by what page 5? LAME!

I feel as if she should’ve leaned more into the cheesy ridiculousness of it all.  Like her umbrella is actually a living familiar (her father’s) who’s perhaps at first begrudgingly working with Alexia.  The umbrella is sarcastic and dramatic but ends up being deeply loyal to Alexia. Named Parry or Saul for parasol?

Her evil family, or maybe a higher up in government is actually connected to the genocide club? DUN DUN DUN!

Queen Victoria seems like a delicate older woman, but in a climactic battle it turns out she can take care of herself and says some dumb nonsensical one liner like, “JUST LIE BACK AND THINK OF ENGLAND!” when she blunderbuss’ the antagonist out a grand window in her castle.

Well…to be fair… I haven’t read the whole series so who knows if that last one happens.

But let me give you a proper Too long; Didn’t read:

On the good side:

It’s easy to read frivolous fun that indulges in the Victorian aesthetic with a supernatural flavor. The opening of the story, I still contend is good. There is genuine friendship tenderness in this story that is lovely.  It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and sprinkles humor throughout.   The lead has sexual agency, women’s libidos are celebrated, and there’s an implication that sex outside of marriage is fine.  It does follow a sensible (if could be improved) pattern of intrigue, romantic development, climax, and conclusion. It’s also written in a particular voice that many would probably enjoy.  The voice is horny, juvenile, and superior both in the respect that Alexia is NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS but also a snotty kinda British superior attitude for being witty enough that your backhanded compliment seemed polite enough that it wasn’t recognized for what it really was.

…Okay so maybe that last line was in itself a backhanded compliment.  I found the voice irritating, but I can understand why it’s attractive to so many young women.  What does any reasonable person want from a young adult novel aimed at young women?

For it to be sexy, silly, that the protagonist is better than the average person and by extension YOU ARE for enjoying her adventures.  And hey listen, young women are shit on ALL THE TIME for all sorts of bullshit.  Women should have these outlets to just briefly, BRIEFLY feel as if they’re smart, powerful, and sexy!  I give a hearty fuck yeah to that!

On the bad side:

There is a caveat I have with what I just said above. Some of the superior tone of Soulless (and it’s not exclusive to this title I assure you) is that some of the superior tone comes down to misogyny, classism, and even a little of what’s appropriate for a GOOD MAN (beyond yanno don’t be shitty.)  I cannot abide by that.

The story’s frivolousness when it comes to serious topics is a disservice.  

It could have easily been more fun.

The story could have also been EASILY molded into a plot that made more sense.

The story has no idea how to be subtle…which helps it feel as if it’s a YA novel.  This novel books itself as adult, but it’s really really, really, really, REALLY a young adult book and it should have been labeled/marketed/etc as such.  I came in expecting a fun saucy novel, but left feeling condensed to by a 16 year old. Like honestly, I feel as if she wrote a young adult novel, her editor wanted a sex scene at the end, so she quick pushed out a page of a tame one, and because of that they felt weird labeling it YA.

But what the hell do I know?

If you want turn your brain off fun and like supernatural Victorian hooey? Go for it!

If you don’t like those things? Be a butthead like me and hate read things for a masochistic thrill.

Did you know there’s a sequel? THIS BAD BOY IS A SERIES AND YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH SCROLLING PAST MY RIFFS ON THE SEQUEL TOO SOON BUCKO! WOOHOO!

#brainless #soulless #riffing

[redorblue]

The ministry of utmost happiness, by Arundhati Roy

I’ve talked about this book with my book club, and I’ve heard from a lot of people that this book is hard to get into. On the one hand, I understand - if you’re not familiar with the setting and the Urdu vocabulary (like me) it can get confusing, and the amount of names and places and people doesn’t help. But as I’ve been emphatically telling all those people: it is so, so worth it. Yes, it can feel overwhelming sometimes, but you’ll be rewarded with stories (intentional plural) that are as beautiful as they’re heartbreaking, with characters that feel alive and enigmatic at the same time, and (probably) with a whole new picture of modern day India. You obviously can’t expect to learn everything there is to know about a country and a people as big as that from one book - and a fictional one at that - but it provided me with a whole lot of starting points to do my own research. Plus, it’s one of those rare books that leave me with wide eyes and more emotions than my shriveled heart can deal with, so excuse my enthusiasm - both intellectual and emotional.

One of the complaints I’ve heard about this book from people who have actually made it through the first ten pages is that the narrative structure is confusing. Again, yes, I see your point, but I think there’s a reason why the story is so episodic, with narrators appearing out of the blue and mentioning people and events that only get explained much later. Somewhere towards the end of the book (in my paperback version it’s on page 436) Tilo writes a poem that in my opinion is the key to understanding the fractured nature of the book:

“How to tell a shattered story? By slowly becoming everybody. No. By slowly becoming everything.”

The book isn’t coherent in the conventional, easily detectable sense of the word because the story isn’t. It can’t be, what with all the different conflicts and catastrophes and bigotry that it sometimes barely touches upon and sometimes elaborates a bit more. In fiction, we’re used to the characters having smaller social circles than we do: less family, less friends, rarely colleagues, barely any of the everyday acquaintances that most of us just have, without knowing where exactly they came from or any intention of deepening them. One of the three focal characters in this book is a bit like that (although that’s intentional and meant to make a point about her personality), but the other two, to whom belong the most confusing parts of the book have the huge social circle that comes with living in one place for a long time, especially when one of them has a rather colorful personality. Point is, it’s normal that seen from the outside, people’s lives aren’t coherent or easily understandable because they’re suffused with context that doesn’t always get an explanation when it’s handy because sometimes there isn’t one, or it leads to another story that leads to another that leads to yet another... Because in the end, no one is an island, we’re just not used to seeing it in fiction.

The same goes for the conflicts that are touched upon here. There’s rarely an easy explanation or black-and-white sides to be taken (which is not to say that the book doesn’t take sides, because it clearly does, but it shines a light on different views on an issue), and if real-life conflicts don’t work that way, why should a literary representation of one be any different? If you give it enough time to affect enough people, it automatically becomes a “shattered story”, and the only way to make any sense of it at all is by allowing the narrative to adapt to that - to become fractured and messy and told from the eyes of people who come with their own lifestory and everything that entails. Long story short, I think the structure of the book makes a necessary point about the story it tells, adds to its lifelikeness and doesn’t even need to be that confusing - you just have to let it unfold in front of your eyes without getting hung up on every single name you don’t recognize.

Another complaint I’ve heard is that the characters are not relatable, or that they don’t feel like fully developed human beings, and here’s where my sympathy stops. It’s true that there’s rarely any interior monologue or other kind of explanation that explicitly tells you why has done this or said that, but I don’t think it needs to. Through pretty neutral accounts of events and backstory it gives you enough clues to at least make educated guesses (otherwise known as interpretation) about a character’s choices, and to deduct important tenets of their personality. It might not be as satisfying sometimes because you never get the ultimate proof that you guessed right, but where’s the fun in having it all served to you on a silver platter? I think that’s exactly the reason why so many people don’t like main characters - you’re too deep inside their heads, too aware of their logical flaws and mental loops and repetitive insecurities. It’s much more fun if the author leaves a bit of space for the readers to fill in thought processes, and Arundhati Roy leaves a lot of space for that. There’s a lot to unpack here, and I’d love to write about so many of the characters in there, but this has already gotten longer than I thought, so I’ll only talk about my two favourites, Musa and Tilo.

I feel like I have a better grasp on Musa’s character (and also, I fell for him. Hard.), so I’ll start with him. On the surface, his life appears to be nothing but a  string of tragedies, with him as a simple vehicle that the author uses to tell us about how fucked up the situation in Kashmir is. After all, he was pretty much forced into the underground after Amrik Singh made him his newest source of entertainment, and “underground” in this context means that he’ll have to join the rebellion. But I think that is a very superficial view on his character. For me, the two defining aspects of his personality are his sense of justice and his bond to the people and the valley of Kashmir. Sure, he could have fled to some faraway place in India, or elsewhere, kept his head down and hoped that Amrik Singh’s network doesn’t stretch that far. That wouldn’t have been easy, but theoretically doable. In reality, however, going someplace else wasn’t really an option. He’s tried that already with studying in Delhi, and even though he obviously knew how bad the situation was back home, he still chose to return after he graduated because he doesn’t want to live anywhere else. He loves Kashmir and his people with all his heart. So the underground it is - because he can’t bear the injustices done to them, because he owes it to his daughter to be brave, because he can’t run away from his grief and this might be the only way to work through it.

And it takes a toll on him, of course it does. It’s heartbreaking how both he and Tilo remark on how he has become less substantial (smudged, as Tilo calls it) than he used to be, which is such an on-point metaphor for what being in a war (and a pretty hopeless guerilla war at that) does to a person. But in his thought processes and his interactions with Tilo (and briefly with Garson Hobart - I can’t remember his real name for the life of me) show that he’s - maybe not the same person as before, but a person, a complete human being, which is a lot more that what you usually get. I mean, let’s face it: he’s a Muslim in a rebel organisation, which is more than enough to get you labels such as terrorist, fanatic, extremist etc. I was a bit afraid that someone in my book club would call him that, because my reaction would have probably got me banned from the book shop. There are so many instances where you can see how kind a heart he has, how intelligent he is, how caring - and yes, also how much he suffers from seeing his people suffer and how he puts everything he has into make it right, but what’s important here is that it’s not his only defining feature.

(This is the point where I realised that this post was definitely going to be too long. So I split it, with more in-depth analysis of Musa - or rather getting my feelings for him off my chest - here.)

Tilo, on the other hand, is not as easy to grasp because she is presented to the reader as she presents herself to the world - stoic, not exactly talkative, very hard to reach. A lot of that has got to do with how she grew up, in an environment heavily influenced by racism, classism and prudery where her mother felt like the only way she could raise her daughter was to pretend they weren’t biologically related and then adopting her. I guess you could say that such an arrangement is better than growing up in an orphanage, and it could have been a lot less damaging if her mother wasn’t so very concerned about her public image, or so demanding, controlling and condescending. But she was, and the effect that had on Tilo is obvious - she’s someone who “lives in a country of her own skin”, the borders (seemingly) closed off. It’s not that she can’t care for people; it’s obvious that she’s loved Musa for a long time, and that she came to care deeply for Naga and Dr. Azad Bhartiya, even before she adopts Miss Jebeen the Second and moves in with Anjum. Rather, her issue seems to be that she has trouble accepting other people’s feelings towards her and getting attached to anyone. It’s why, for example, her marriage to Naga didn’t work (who, on a sidenote, really got treated unfairly in Garson Hobart’s POV), why she didn’t want to go through with the pregnancy when she came back from Kashmir, or why she didn’t even break things off properly with Naga and just... floated out of his life. To be fair, his family’s racism towards her didn’t help either because I’m pretty sure it stung her more than she let on, but her behaviour fits her overall pattern in interacting with people, so I don’t think that was the main issue.

It’s probably also why her post-university relationship with Musa works so well. They’re both aren’t controlling people, they trust that the other would never hurt them intentionally and they know that their communication works well enough that long-time separation doesn’t shake the foundations of their relationship. It’s a very unique bond they share, one that doesn’t go away from one of them marrying someone else and sleeping with them, even loving them, as Musa did with his wive Arifa. They know what they have, wherever they live and whatever they do. That’s another aspect I loved about the book: it never pits the two women in Musa’s life, Arifa and Tilo, against each other. Not even Tilo is jealous when she learns of Arifa’s existence, she simply trusts that if Musa loved Arifa, Arifa must have been a remarkable person. This is a testament to Tilo’s magnanimity - just because you have attachment issues yourself doesn’t mean that you’d automatically be okay with the person you love starting a family with someone else.

But Tilo knows that she’s not that person (at least not at that point), and although she worries a lot about Musa, she knows that a conventional happily ever after wouldn’t work for them. On the one hand because Musa is so tied up in Kashmir’s struggle for independence - which Tilo wholeheartedly supports - that she would never ask him to give it all up to live a life of safety with her (another thing about Tilo I deeply appreciate). But on the other hand I’m pretty sure it also wouldn’t work for Tilo herself. She’s too aimless, too far away to go through with the whole getting married, settling down, having kids etc. shtick. She needs this kind of open relationship that leaves her her space, that gives her a kind of attachment she can bear. It’s mainly emotional, and the few times a year it gets physical, as in being in the same room, it happens mostly because she decided to come back to Kashmir, with the exception of the few times Musa comes to Delhi. I do think that from her side, things might have been different if Musa had lived longer (after Tilo adopts the baby and moves in with Anjum), but on his side things would still have been the same, and I firmly believe that she’d have stayed true to herself and not asked him to walk away from his cause for her.

Which leads me to the question that has made me reread almost the entire book as soon as I was done the first time: Why did Tilo and Musa break up after university? It’s never said explicitly, but I’m pretty sure that he asked her to marry him, in all probability also to come back to Kashmir with him, and she said no and that was that. I still haven’t found an answer in the text (see, this is what I mean by interpretation being both fun and frustrating), but I have a theory. I think that his belonging, his rootedness in a family, a people and a region, was too much for her, who has never been made to feel like she belonged anywhere, was accepted and appreciated anywhere. In that situation, it wasn’t enough that she loved him and he loved and accepted and appreciated her, because in real life, the love of one man doesn’t magically fix every single one of your issues, even if it is the love of your life. So she refused him. And he, honorable person that he is, didn’t press the issue, stayed true to himself and went back to Kashmir. Where they met again years later, under unimaginably sad circumstances, to rekindle, in their own way, one of my all time favourite fictional romantic relationships.

#the ministry of utmost happiness #arundhati roy #book review #2019 #books

[izzetengineer]

Okay, because I’m a sucker for writing memes

1. what are you currently working on? A gaslamp fantasy novel (Argentum in Aqua, which is the one I’ll be answering the rest of the questions for), a (stalled) online ongoing classic fantasy (Seventh Son), and an accidental urban fantasy short story about a pair of lesbian supernatural private detectives who adopt a teenage ghost girl (Pretty Maids All In A Row).

2. summarize your current project: Gaslamp fantasy secret-society-conflict featuring vampires, werewolves, magicians, cuttthroats, murderers, hypnotists and far too many people who make Very Poor Life Choices. 

3. summarize your current project poorly: Clueless student gets in over his head, ends up joining forces with grumpy one-armed ex-soldier, ex-pirate vampire who has terrible taste in friends and his murderous terrible friend, and lesbian werewolf who is fed up with your shit in order to try and save the world. Also it’s snowing. A lot. Can you tell the author massively prefers winter to summer yet?

4. describe your favorite character or characters: a certain pair of ex-pirate magicians spring to mind immediately. Because nothing says friendship like drinking your mate’s blood, hurling throwing knives at his head, or breaking both the law and the rules of magic in order to try and save him from almost-certain death. 

5. post a line from your current project without any context: (not a line, but who’s counting?) “It wouldn’t do for either of us to stand out too much, after all.” “No, it certainly wouldn’t,” Fest agreed absently, looking over at the six-foot-something werewolf currently demonstrating to an admiring audience exactly how easy it was to do handstands on a chair. 

6. how do you get through writers block?: Mostly by figuratively banging my head against the wall, deciding I’m a terrible writer, and then going and binging on video games/books/TV that has the aesthetic I’m writing in until words happen again. 

7. would you want to live in the world of your current work?: Hm. On the one hand, transitioning there’s pretty easy, and magic’s /fun/. On the other side, if we’re talking living in the city in which the plot takes place, it’s full to the brim with sexism, classism, and all kinds of fun political awful. So it’d highly depend on what I ended up doing career-wise, really. 

8. briefly discuss your outlining process, if you outline: I don’t. I’ll occasionally write out where I’m expecting the plot to go, but half the time it’s a case of sitting down and letting the story go where it wants. 

9. what is the aesthetic of your current project?: Snowfall in moonlight, dark Victorian streets with orange lamplight glowing through the fog, pine forests, broken glass, blood on the snow, deep dark polished wood, stone walls, cobbled streets, mountain air, the smell of woodsmoke and the taste of blood and ice on your tongue.

10. what song sums up your current work the best?: I’ll get back to you on this one. But right now Miracle of Sound’s London Town (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6hF3EaICxk) is one of the ones which immediately gets me in the mood to write for this particular ‘verse.

[arielmagicesi]

all-girl trc intro post

the only men who exist in this world are everyone’s terrible dads/tree dads, Jesse Dittley, Glendower, Whelk, and various background characters. obviously like the world is populated with men and women and nonbinary people and whatever but like, for our main cast, ALL WOMEN. maybe some nonbinary women too. like my gf Blue

here’s an intro to all of these women:

Blue Sargent: the original, the one and only, in canon she really is the one and only. she identifies as nonbinary and fluctuates between she/her and they/them pronouns. also she’s explicitly a woman of color. hairstyle ranges from completely shaven to messy bob haircut filled with hair-clips. bi but female-favoring. denim jacket and patches aesthetic. intersectional feminist who feels exhausted and stifled by her shitty school and town. loves her family a lot. makes friends with women and girls for real and has a bunch of Internet friends who yell about, idk, anarchy. she came out as bi and nonbinary pretty young because she was always encouraged to research feminism and shit and so her family was like “yeah cool awesome!”

in regards to magic shit: loves trees and environmentalism; when she finds out she’s a tree-light she’s thrilled and uses it to do forest shit. contacts Neeve at a young age and learns more about her mirror powers and amplifier powers and writes slam poems and makes bad art about the implications of woman as reflector. she was always told that when she kissed her true love, THEY would die- not “he.” this was slightly disappointing but she got through it by doing lots of stuff that she thought would make herself unappealing, like wearing garbage clothes and not doing any makeup or whatever [which was her kind of style anyway]. too bad that appealed exactly to her future gf...

Jane Gansey: a trans girl and lesbian, neither of which was approved of by her WASP family. she got stung by bees at age ten and believed that the woman’s voice she heard telling her she would live because of Glendower was proof that she was fated to find Glendower’s tomb and wake him. She ran away at age twelve and caused a huge stir when she used her bank account to go to England to meet with the professor, Dr. Ramona Malory, who she’d been chatting with online. Malory let Gansey live with her while things were sorted with the Gansey family, who were terrified about the scandal, and finally they came to terms with their daughter being a girl and allowed her to start taking puberty blockers and start transitioning. At fourteen, she left home again to travel the world in search of Glendower and finally made it to Henrietta.

She enrolled in the all-girls school, Aglionby, halfway through freshman year of high school, and used her trademark Gansey charm to make friends. Being a history nerd and well kind of a nerd about everything to do with the humanities, she had an easy time in school. But she dealt with constant panic attacks, anxiety, insomnia, horrible guilt, etc, on her own, until she met her best friend...

Rose Lynch: butch dirt lesbian who had a tough time coming to terms with uh everything. she grew up on a farm with her older sister, Diana, who was always the perfectionist, but Rose was the favorite child. she dreamt her younger sister Madeline when she was three, and always dealt with the ugly repercussions of the powers she inherited from her father Niall. the Lynch children were told to keep everything secret, and Rose especially was taught to repress everything. that came in handy not only with her dreaming powers, but with how she felt about girls. She wasn’t fond of girly stuff, but that was OK, because she lived on a farm, and wore overalls and plaids and messed around in dirt and hay since childhood.

When her father died and her mother fell into a coma and the Lynch sisters were cast out of their home, she fell into a deep depression and started coping by shaving all her hair off, listening to shitty EDM, street racing, and drinking excessively. She also had a self-harm habit. She’d made friends with Jane Gansey a few months before Niall’s death, so she moved into her weird-ass factory house. She and Gansey spent a lot of late nights talking about their feelings, or avoiding their feelings, or yelling at each other, but they loved each other a lot. when their sophomore year started, they were joined by a new girl that Gansey latched on to...

Adele [Addy] Parrish: she grew up in a trailer park, like in the books, and is more or less the same except for what changes by being a girl: like that she faces more sexism, that she’s seen as a disappointment for not being pretty enough, and that certain stuff about abuse/classism she faced was gendered, i don’t think it’s my place to get into what ways because i’m not really an abuse survivor. Anyway she spent all of her life dealing with lots of horrible shit, and coped by burying herself in books and studies and work and telling herself that she could leave this place by merit of her brain.

When she finally managed to get herself into Aglionby, at the start of tenth grade, she joined a lot of student clubs for stuff to put on her college applications, and met Gansey through them. She was pretty in awe of Gansey and fell a little in love with her, intrigued by the Glendower project, and willing to put up with shit from Rose if it meant being friends with Gansey. Much later, she and the others met Blue at Nino’s and Addy tried to invite her over to hang out with them, Gansey messing it up somehow, and then Addy went after her later to apologize and Blue, overly charmed, asked her out. Addy was like, “oh, uh... wait, you can do that, to another girl,” and Blue was like, “yeah sure [but I can’t kiss you but I’m not gonna tell you that because needless conflict]” and Addy was like, “oh. nice. good.”

Anyway the point is both Addy and Blue are bi and sort of awkwardly work it out together and then the relationship develops a lot of issues, similarly to in the books, and they break up, just in time for Cabeswater to unleash magic-forest hell on poor Addy who was just trying to make connections at Gansey’s fancy Washington party. also if it isn’t clear she’s clearly my favorite

Noa Czerny: always a weird, genderfluid skater, fond of early pop punk bands and bad 90s trends. and arts & crafts. until they were murdered by asshole “friend” Barrington Whelk, who went to Aglionby’s brother school... idk some other rich-people name... and made friends with Noa at a dance party or something. they would hang out, and Noa had bad self-esteem so they just hung on to Whelk’s every word, and eventually got sacrificed. they came back as a ghost and warned Gansey, in a gentle voice, on the ley line about Glendower when she was ten. then casually hung around Aglionby and Nino’s and sort of made their way into the group via ghost magic, and slipped from time as a final sacrifice. seriously about as sad as the books

Hannah Cheng: raised by Seondeok, she learned to love and hate herself at the same time- both being told of her potential to be amazing, while it was made clear her mother saw her as a tool a lot of the time. She hated the magical artifacts industry from a young age and, shortly after being kidnapped, spent a lot of time holding onto silence and safe spaces as a way to deal. Then she grew into using humor and apathy as a coping mechanism, and became fond of dark jokes and terrible pop culture references balanced chaotically. When Seondeok sent her to Aglionby, she gathered friends pretty quickly through the handful of students of color and kept them through astonishing bursts of kindness and general charisma. She was always comfortable with casually flirting with her girl friends because, well, she was pansexual and didn’t see any reason to hide it, but when she met Jane Gansey, she saw a lot of herself in her- scared and charming and smart and, somewhere in there, a genuine heart reaching for the stars.

#tw mental illness #tw abuse #tw alcoholism #tw self harm #yiiikes these books really are something actually #tw kidnapping?? #trc