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sweetestlamb · 3 years

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Call My Name

Summary: “I don’t know what to do I think I’m falling for you.”

Author's Note: Back with my longest update for this story, almost 10k!! I have only written that much for a chapter for IOTNBO, I’m so proud and excited. It’s thanks to many of you who have been messaging me to let me know how much you appreciate my story and those of you who are making artwork in any capacity based on my story, I am honored thank you!! I battled a lot with the ending but finally I just went with my gut, the characters wanted to act this way and who am I to fight it? I hope you enjoy and I will see you again in the next chapter! Amazing header by @ewolfwitchwisegirl every time I see it I can’t help but smile. Thank you endlessly.

She checks the time on her phone again, for no particular reason just curious about how much time has passed since she last checked. Five minutes. Interesting, she'll make sure to check again to see if her hypothesis is correct, that time seems to move slower in Ju-Kyung's house it feels as if they have been sitting here for hours yet her phone is displaying something completely different and there has to be a scientific explanation for that.

"You acted like you didn't want him to have your phone number but now you won't stop checking your phone." Su-ah teases across the room, hanging upside with her feet on the wall as her fingers move across her own endlessly buzzing phone. She's not jealous about that, not at all.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I was just checking the time." She replies coolly pushing the phone away from her with complete disinterest.

She states blankly back at twin penetrating stares of disbelief, rolling her eyes she lowers her head onto the table picking at the skin on her index finger.

"I told you to stop doing that!" Ju-Kyung admonishes grabbing her hands and halting her abuse, they are hideous to look at the skin peeling all over no amount of lotion can rectify the damage she's done. They are one of the reasons she loves winter, she has a bounty of gloves to hide them from view. Self-consciously she tries to twist them away, they look even worst next to the soft plush skin of Ju-Kyung, who consistently moisturizes the appendages.

"Just leave them. They're ugly anyway."

The other girl ignores her bringing out the hand cream she's seen so many times, she simply sighs when the thick lotion is rubbed into her brittle skin. They both know that this is pointless because she'll soon wash away any benefits but Ju-Kyung is always persistent and she's given up on fighting with her. With a light pat and triumphant hum, Ju-Kyung releases her.

"There. Don't they look beautiful?"

They don't. Out of all the things she hates about herself and that lists grows more abundant everyday, her hands are high on the list. They make her feel hideous and as if anything she touches will also lose its beauty. A twisted nightmare inducing Midas touch.

She doesn't reply beyond shoving them into the pocket of her blazer.

"Su-jin?" Su-ah calls from behind her, sounding more serious than she's used to. She tightens in anticipation, barely turning her head.

"Are you okay? I've been giving you space but I want to know what's wrong. What happened at school?"

Her chest constricts painfully, she's not ready for this conversation possibly will never be but if she refuses will they shut her out? Will she be abandoned? Fear rushes through her veins at the very idea of being without them.

She forces herself to speak, "I...its-- what....I"

The words are lodged in her throat choking her until it's hard to breathe, she starts wheezing and then she's wrapped up in a tight hug, her last bit of oxygen squeezed from her body.

"Shhhh. It's okay. We love you, don't cry." Su-ah coos at her, stroking her head and mumbling soothing words into her ear. Ju-Kyung wipes away ardent tears she hadn't realized had fallen, her smooth hands soft on Su-jin’s wet skin.

"I can't. I'm sorry, not yet. Please don't go." For once she says exactly what's in her heart, people leave that's her reality but not them, she can't lose them death would be easier. So she begs tightening her once limp arms around Su-ah's small waist, clinging to the other girl like a weeping child. Her father has stolen everything she's ever loved from her, they couldn’t be another casualty.

"We're not going anywhere. We love you, no matter what. Nothing could change that."

She allows Su-ah to rock her back and forth, deep in her heart she knows those words aren't true, feelings change and once they figure out her secret, this love will fade and they'll grow apart; pity is the kiss of death. Once they know how truly pathetic she is they won't be able to look at her, she'll just be a broken doll that needs to be fixed.

"We love you."

Sure, but for how long?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Becoming Sujin's friend wasn't easy she can remember the day she first saw the abnormally beautiful girl, she looked like a character out of a Korean drama with her perfect round face and effortless style. She'd simply stared in awe, too dazed to approach the other girl. When they crossed paths in the hallway she watched the other girl intently, she decided in that moment they had to be friends.

It was like destiny, they ended up in the same class and she started to follow the other girl around smiling warmly every time those cool eyes would look at her in question. She sat near her in the cafeteria and greeted her every morning, yet she was no closer to becoming her friend still skirting the edge of acquaintance.

Then one day out of the blue for the first time the other girl approached her, her face expressionless but the air around her was frigid. She gulped watching her draw nearer until they were face to face.

"What do you want from me?" She blinked at the unexpected question, rolling it over in her mind and still not coming up with an answer.

"What?" Was her eloquent reply, she was finally having a conversation with her dream friend and she couldn't get her thoughts together.

"You're always following me. Do you want something from me?"

She thought it was blatantly obvious what she desired from the other girl but she smiled before replying, "Friendship. I want to be your friend."

She'd never seen the other girl look confused before, her eyes got wider and her lips almost disappeared from how tightly she was twisting her mouth.

"Why?"

Her first reaction was to laugh because it sounded like a joke, who wouldn't want to be Sujin's friend she was one of the smartest and prettiest girls in the school but something about the look on her face told Su-ah those answers wouldn't suffice. The other girl was peering at her with deep searching eyes, waiting for her response.

Shrugging she didn't overthink her reply, choosing not to list the many reasons and going with the most basic, "I like you."

It was her first platonic confession, she almost blushed at the words and the potential misunderstandings but Sujin simply looked at her before walking away without another word. She sighed thinking she'd scared the other girl away, walking home crestfallen.

But the next day, Sujin said good morning to her first for the first time ever and they walked to class and as they say the rest was history, they became each other's confidant and best friend. Sujin, the first person to know about her crush on Tae-hoon, always there to wipe her tears after their countless break ups.

Su-jin is like a sister and that is why her breakdown feels even worst, she doesn't know what's going on, has never seen her best friend cry before. Su-jin isn't one to be open about her emotions, her smiles are as elusive as her tears. So her heart aches as Sujin shakes in her arms, wishing she knew what was hurting the girl this deeply so she could rescue her.

"I'll go wash my face." She's reluctant to let the other girl go but she knows the intricacies of her brilliant mind, knows that she's embarrassed and mentally ripping herself apart. Unwrapping her arms she lets her go, tears pooling in her eyes watching her friend suffer.

Quickly brushing the moisture away she turns to Ju-Kyung who isn't faring much better, dark mascara lines dripping down her cheeks. She laughs sadly wiping at the marks with her thumbs before pulling her fingers back and wiping them on her jacket.

"I'm sorry I'm crying, I know we need to be strong for her." Ju-Kyung apologizes but more stubborn tears rolls down her face and she hugs her tightly, needing the comfort herself.

"You're allowed to cry. We'll be there for her until she's ready to tell us what's wrong."

They nod and hug each other weeping for their friend who so solemnly weeps for herself.

It shocks them both when a loud vibration penetrates the silence of the room, the noisy disturbance makes them jump apart before they both glance at the phone on the table before looking at each other.

"Do you think it's...."

"What if it's.."

They speak at the same time and that's the exact moment that the door creaks open and Sujin arrives with red-rimmed eyes her hair now pulled back in a low ponytail.

Su-ah looks at the phone with wide eyes before looking at Sujin, then back to the phone before smiling innocently, "You should check the time."

Sujin doesn't react at first, standing completely still before she takes a hesitant step forward as if the phone has transformed into a bomb. Gingerly lifting it up she wipes go unlock the screen, trying to look unbothered her movements exaggeratedly slow. Su-ah sees right through her, sees the way her fingers twitch and how she takes a deep breath before opening the message.

She watches Sujin's face for a reaction, a smile or frown but there's no reaction until she huffs and throws the phone away with a sharp whisper, "That idiot. What the hell is that?"

Without asking for permission, they know each other's passwords there isn't much privacy between the three of them, she picks up the discarded phone, eyes bulging at the message before she starts to giggle. It was exactly who they thought and his first message to her is an image and the words, saw this and thought of you.

She grins at the message, wondering if Seojun knows how flirty the message reads. He'd openly let Sujin know that she was on his mind. She'd spontaneously decided to save Sujin under that name in his phone Ju-Kyung had told her about their interesting conversation and the pet name, then he used it again at the gate and she couldn't resist. What girl didn't like being called a princess?

"If he calls me that one more time I'm going to break his motorcycle." She winces at the threat, shifting her eyes. Okay, it seemed there was one girl. She needs to tell Seojun to never mention to Sujin that she was the one to save her under "princess" she had helped him get her number after all, they were practically friends now. He couldn’t throw her under the bus.

"Are you going to answer?" He wants to know if you want him to buy it for you." She giggles at the new message gasping when Sujin snatches the phone from her hands, she looks over at Ju-Kyung with a raised eyebrow at the show. They both watch with conspiring smiles as the commonly emotionless girl angrily throws herself into the bed and starts animatedly tapping on her screen.

She's never looked more alive.

It's the universe righting itself when she hears Ju-Kyung's mother yell up the stairs.

"Ju-Kyung, tell your friend Su-jin her father is here to pick her up."

Ju-Kyung's mother says the words upbeat, mumbling about doting fathers and harshly hitting her husband on the back of his head as she wonders to the kitchen. She schools her face into a plastic smile, despite the fear gripping at her and making it hard to focus. But she can't show any cracks in her display today, too much has happened and she can't allow anyone to be suspicious. They have to believe that her father is a loving man who picks up his daughter out of the goodness of his heart.

He almost looks normal smiling serenely in the doorway, even lifting a hand to wave at her. Cold ice chills run down her spine at the terrifying action.

"Why didn't you tell your mother and I you were going to a friend's house? We were worried sick about you."

She can hear the threat coded in those words, how dare you go anywhere without my permission, she rushes to his side knowing every minute she wastes he will punish her for. She'd inconvenienced him by making him pick her up. He would make her regret that decision.

Bowing to Ju-Kyung and her family, avoiding Su-ah's watchful eyes she rapidly puts on her shoes watching as her father bows as well thanking Ju-Kyung's parents for allowing her to stay so late and when they turn he grips her tightly all but dragging her out the door. His coat blocks the treatment from view and she grunts when he swings the car door open and tosses her roughly inside.

Slamming his door shut he glares over at her, "Do you know how hard it was finding this dirty shit hole of a house? Are you befriending anyone now? This is the kind of person you've deemed worthy of being seen with, you're a Kang for God's sake!"

She swallows her angry, desperately wanting to defend Ju-Kyung but his hands curled tightly in fists make her stifle her argument. Instead she bows her head quietly, letting him spew acid dripping words at her.

"You're not allowed to come here again. My daughter can't be seen with the help."

She anxiously claws at her hands in her lap, jumping when he yells in the confined space of the car.

"Answer me now! Do you understand!"

Staring out the window she replies, voice empty.

"Yes."

He doesn't wait for her to tug on her seat belt before driving off, done talking to her since she listened to his order.

When they finally walk through the front door she flinches when he grabs her arm suddenly, he rolls his eyes as if she's being dramatic. Seeming to get gratification from pressing his fingers deeper into her skin, she grits her teeth through it all.

"Don't flinch like that around others or I'll make you regret it. Tomorrow you are going on a date with a son of a very powerful man, make sure you hide all your bruises."

This time she can't stay silent, rage bursting to the surface.

"I don't want to go on a date with anyo--"

The smack of his open palm across her forehead drives her entire head to the side, her neck snapping so hard she imagines this is what it feels like to have whiplash.

"You shut your fucking mouth! Did it look like I was asking you a question? You will go on this date." His voice is hard and impenetrable, when her mother limps out with a black eye she gasps in shock unprepared for the gruesome sight.

Mom.

"Look what you made me do to your mother. You better start obeying me again or things will get worst."

She's been selfish, she is knew what would happen to her mother when she didn't come home, knew that her father's fury would need an outlet but she couldn't bring herself to come here. Knowing what her fate would be didn't make her any else scared.

"You need to listen to your father."

She can't bear to look her mother in the eyes, she's been thrown to the wolves too many times to feel true sympathy for the woman who gave birth to her. They are both victims, that much she knows but she can't help the anger that has been present since she was young begging her mother to save her.

She knows now, nobody can save anyone else. If you can't save yourself you're as good as dead.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He knows he can't be upset with Ju-Kyung or Su-ah, they are unaware of what their friend is going through but dread fills his stomach when Ju-Kyung tells him that Sujin was no longer there, her father had picked her up.

He slams a fist into his pillow, wanting nothing more to smash the man's face in he's never seen the bastard before but he knows that he would hate him on sight. He was a coward and a bully and he could not stand those who picked on others, they were the scum of the earth.

He sends her another unanswered text message reading her last message to him.

Delete my number, I don't want to talk to you.

She hadn't been amused by the sparkly purple tiara, he'd seen it on display in a children's store and immediately her regal scowl popped up in his mind. He hadn't thought about it before snapping a photo and sending it to her. That had been hours ago and still nothing from her after a heated debate about whether or not she was a princess.

Sighing in exasperation he sends another message.

Let me know if you're okay.

He's sent five other unread messages, all variations of this message worry making him break all his rules about texting the opposite gender.

He glares at the phone as if it's to blame, tossing himself onto this bed and dragging a pillow across his face to groan into.

Almost choking on the cloth of his pillow he shoves it away when his phone finally vibrates on his stomach, eagerly opening it he smiles at the message on the screen.

I'm okay.

She's lying, he's certain of that he's seen the bruises first-hand without makeup lessening the effect. But she's cognizant enough to send him a message and despite the hell she must be going through she cared enough about him worrying to reply, something unfamiliar flutters in his belly. He writes it off as indigestion and flops into his pillow before sending his final message to her.

I’ll see you tomorrow, princess.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

He's wondering the halls aimlessly sneering at everyone who looks his way, he doesn't mean to be this moody really didn't mean to snap at Chorong but he can't help it, Sujin is absent her empty seat mocking him in class so he had to escape. He's lost count at the amount of messages he's sent at this point, none of them have been read. He growls at the radio silence, he hates being ignored and when she's the one doing the ignoring his frustration only builds. He doesn't bother analyzing why.

"You look ready to kill the next person who stares at you the wrong way."

He glances at the near monotonous tone behind him, turning to face Suho. He doesn't know how the other boy was allowed to leave the classroom when he currently has the hall pass but rules are usually broken for the star student, he scoffs at the privilege. Nobody ever calls him a troublemaker though.

"Being a brainiac sure comes with perks." He drawls leaning against the wall.

Suho guiltlessly shrugs, crossing his forearms before grabbing his arm. He doesn't fight the grip allowing himself to be pulled, maybe this will distract him from his thoughts.

"Where are we going?"

Suho doesn't answer but he drags him up the stairs leading to the rooftop, he's instantly reminded of the last time he was here. Her tears warming his chest as she shook apart in his arms. He mentally groans, he’s supposed to be forgetting her why can’t he get her out of his mind?

"You know don't you?" Suho gently states, letting his arm fall between them and staring at him with sure eyes. He peers back squinting in response, uncertain if the other boy is truly alluding to what he thinks. He doesn't say a word, Sujin would never forgive him if he uttered her secret to anyone, he'd never betray her trust regardless of if she's fully given that to him.

"Know what?" He states slowly , watching his friend’s every move.

"About her father."

A deer caught in headlights, if you looked up that saying his face would be the accompanying image.

Forcing his jaw close, he shakes his head staring at Suho suspiciously.

"You knew."

Suho must feel his judgement because his face hardens before he looks away, "I did."

"Why didn't you do anything?" It's not his place but he can't help his vexation, how long had the other boy known and done nothing?

"We were......young. I slept over, I fell asleep on the couch and I heard him. The next morning she had a split lip and her father told me she accidentally fell down the stairs."

Disgusts winds through his chest at the story, this had been her life since she was a child. While he'd been mourning the loss of his own father, Sujin was being beaten and abused by her own. They were both fatherless.

"I felt guilty every day. I didn't know who to tell, her father was close friends with my dad and I didn't think he would believe me and...... I hated him. After my mom died I hated him so much. I didn't want to ask him for help."

He wants to scream, "What about Sujin? Couldn't you see her pain? Wasn't that enough to put your pride aside?"

But he doesn't because it won't do Sujin any good and Suho has been through his own trauma, he learned that his words have power and despite his anger he doesn't want to hurt his friend, never again.

"It's not your fault." He means it, they were both children. But he just wishes that Sujin had someone back them, that she knew that what was happening wasn't her fault. He just wishes he'd been there.

But he can't turn back time, no matter how desperately he wants to. All he can do is treasure the time he has now.

Her knows what he needs to do.

"I need a favor."

Suho stares at him before slowly nodding.

But not before asking his own question, "Why do you care so much?"

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. The question spins around in circles in his head, no answer offering itself.

"Do you..... like her?" Suho cautiously inquires searching his face to see if he gives anything away. He doesn't try to hide his emotions.

"That's not important. She needs someone, I've decided to be that person."

The other boy looks at him like he's a puzzle he can't figure out but he nods as if that answer is enough. He'll store that question away for further inspection on his own.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

There's no guarantee that this will work but he stands awkwardly on the sidewalk peering up at the intimidating mansion, it makes his own apartment look like a child's toy. Inadequacy pricks at his ego before he shoves it to the crevice of his mind, this isn't about him.

The driveway is empty that was a good sign. He hadn't thought ahead to what he would do if her father had been home, he wouldn't be able to control his rage. It's a blessing that he won't have to make that decision today.

Pulling out his phone he stares at her number before pressing the call button. It rings and rings and he's sure she's going to ignore him as she's been doing all day, he moves to hang up and call her back when he hears silence and then a quiet, "Why do you keep calling?"

He lets out a sigh of triumph, punching a fist into the air.

Collecting himself he states breezily into the phones, "When people call someone they usually have something to say princess."

Her reaction is immediate, "I told you not to call me that."

"I remember when you told me." He replies cheekily, unable to fight the smile that grows hearing her annoyance permeating through the line, just happy to hear her voice at all.

"Then why do you keep calling me that?" She tightly replies, sounding like she could turn a coal into a diamond in her mouth.

"It suits you."

"Why? Because I'm rich and spoiled?"

"No. Because you're pretty." He hears himself say, wondering if he's been possessed because he's thought that before looking at the girl he was still a man and he had eyes but he's never planned on saying his inner thoughts out loud.

It takes a moment to realize she hasn't responded, scared she finally hung up he cries out, "Hey! Are you still there?"

Another long pause drags out and he becomes really worried that she's gone after taking so long to get her to answer, maybe everyone's right and he's an idiot.

"Don't say stupid things like that." There's something about her voice, it sounds higher than he's used to and he wonders if maybe she's embarrassed. Maybe even blushing. He'd pay real money to see that sight.

Not wanting to push his luck any further he powers on, resisting the urge to ask if she's blushing. She wouldn't be honest with him anyway.

"Come outside I have something for you."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

She contemplates what she should do as she peers down at her phone. His name and number flash on her phone as the phone locks itself. She'd begrudgingly saved his number when it became clear that he had no intention of leaving her alone. Nobody besides Su-ah had ever texted her this frequently, she was earning scarily that she didn't hate it. Although she hardly replied, not knowing how to maintain a text conversation.

Su-ah had teasingly said she should save the boy as prince, so that they could match. She rolled her eyes at the suggestion, Su-ah was so cheesy sometimes they weren't a couple why would they need matching names? Instead she'd saved him as "do not answer" but she'd already broken that rule, she realized appalled at her lack of control.

Losing more control she sighs before crawling out of bed, not bothering to put on makeup to hide the mark on her forehead, he had seen worst. Her father left after taking her to the doctor, regaling another story of her clumsiness and they walked out with cream, powerful enough to ensure that no scar would be left behind. Nobody wanted scarred goods he explained.

The closer she gets to the door the faster her heart beats, how did he know where she lived? They had never discussed that and why did he come all the way here? Didn't he have anything better to do than stalk her? Taking a calming breath she reaches the front door, she can hear her frantic heart beats thumping in her ears.

She turns the door knob, pausing at the sight of his back. The sun is shining brightly outside, the direct opposite of her gloomy dark home. It was a sin for the day to be this beautiful when her life is so damn ugly. With the sun streaking his hair hues of dark brown he turns to face her.

She feels uncomfortable at the rush on emotions that bleeds across his face.

"Don't."

He looks at her quizzically, perplexed by her strange seemingly unprovoked request.

"Just don't.. emote so much."

Of course he doesn't listen, a smile stretching across his face as he steps closer to her. Reaching out with gentle fingers he brushes against the bandage on her forehead.

"Are you okay?"

He’s always asking her that.

She doesn't feel like lying at the moment, not with his gentle hands and soft eyes beaming at her.

She mutely shakes her head in decline. She doesn't miss how he freezes as if shocked by her honesty. He's not the only one.

"Is that why you didn't come to school?" His voice is barely a whisper now, as if they're sharing a secret only for their ears.

It's a question that doesn't need an answer so she chooses not to respond.

"What did you want to give me?" She breaks the moment, taking a step back until his fingers fall from her skin.

He stares at her for a moment before leaning forward, dangerously close and she tries to retreat but her feet are stuck to the floor as she watches his face get closer to her own. His hands reach over her shoulder and she tilts her head up to follow him, as he lowers his head and her heart skips as realization washes over her, he's going to kiss her. His lips are right there, supple and pink looming closer as her own drop open in surprise and....anticipation? She registers that he's going to kiss her and she might want him to. No. She does, she never knew she wanted this so ardently until it was just a breath away. And now she can't think of anything else but his lips on hers.

She's never been kissed before, never wanted to be either. In second grade and unlucky boy had tried to force a kiss on her, chasing her around the playground puckering his lips and tugging at her skirt. He'd only been able to kiss the sole of her shoe has she launched into a perfectly executed round house kick, shocking him more than hurting him but she'd been placed in time out for a week with no playtime or recess, she had felt no remorse. All the other boys who used to eye her with interest now looked terrified after that incident, no one ever tried to steal a kiss from her again.

She waits for her body's natural defense to kick in and for that itch under her skin to buzz, but it never comes because she doesn't feel unsafe. Knows that he won't hurt her despite her constant dismissal here he is, once again demanding a space in her sham of life. Instead of fear, nerves ravages her body as she pants loudly staring at his mouth only inches away. Is she allowed to want? She's never had the luxury before to desire such trivial things, it overwhelms her. Shocked by her own thinking and the dawning of feelings she didn't ask to have, she scurries backwards covering her mouth with her hands. Now that she knows that she desires this, she can't have it. She can't taint him with her darkness.

"What are you doing?"

He's smirking with a bag now in his hand intensely watching her and she feels transparent, he's looking straight through her and urge to hide is overbearing.

Turning around she sees his motorcycle and she almost laughs at her unnecessary mental break down.

He hadn't been trying to kiss her. That was merely a fantasy she created in her mind, whatever this was it wasn't romantic. Who could want something as broken and worthless as her, but more importantly her life was not her own to do what she desired. She was an object in her father's plan, a pawn that he could move as he saw fit. It was a mistake to yearn or even ponder, her fate had been decided long before she was born.

She shouldn't be here, should have never read his message or saved his number she's playing a dangerous game and in the end she'll be the one most damaged. She turns away, rushing to the door no longer curious about his gift. Curiosity is a privilege she isn't allowed.

"Hey! Where are you going?" He grabs her wrist, not scared to touch today. Her body is burning from all the spots he's already set aflame since he arrived.

"Let go!" She tugs her arm away and he sets her free at her barest resistance, but he leaves no space between towering over her and refusing to let her break eye contact. His cologne is distracting. Everything about him is.

"What were you expecting?" She fights the urge to blush as he glances down at her lips before focusing on her eyes.

"Nothing. I wasn’t expecting anything.” She will ensure that she doesn’t in the future, it’s not a lie but rather an oath to herself.

He stares at her unblinking, its unnerving and she squirms under the hard appraisal.

“Don’t you want to see your gift?” She shakes her head no, but it seems the question was rhetoric because he doesn’t wait for her answer or acknowledge when she refuses.

“I told you this reminded me of you.” He purrs softly, she’s never heard his voice like this. It’s so soft that it can barely be considered a whisper, he always acts like she is something fragile. She doesn’t know how to feel about it.

There's a rustle of a bag opening and then a weight on her head, reaching up she feels hard plastic and ridges and bumps. She knows what it is and she doesn't know how to respond, nothing has ever prepared her for this moment. She’d hidden it well while sitting in Ju-Kyung’s room looking at the child’s tiara, pretended to be annoyed to cover up the way her skin was sticky hot and sweaty.

When she was younger she had wanted a princess birthday party, with all the trimmings and decorations her eyes sparkled as she told her parents still full of hope and innocence then, believing that she could have anything she wanted if she asked. Her father’s guffaw had shattered that fantasy.

“We will not have a childish gathering, very important people will be there. You are not going to embarrass me.”

In the end there was no theme to her birthday and she didn’t get to wear the sparkling tiara she’d seen so many other little girls don on their birthday, she had no friends to invite and she sat alone and abandoned in her room.

And now, years later there is almost an identical replica sitting on her head. She sniffles looking hard at the ground, blinking rapidly but knowing it’s already too late.

“I told you to stop. Why won’t you listen? Just stop.” She’s crying now, there’s no way to hide the tears barreling down her cheeks. He looks taken back, hands reaching out for her and then dropping before reaching again.

“Sujin.”

Hearing him say her name instead of the persistent nickname only makes her sob harder, crying for the younger version of herself that just wanted to be loved and was beaten everyday instead. Wishing that Sujin had this, had someone who was willing to stay, who wanted to be there. She wouldn’t have dealt with such crippling loneliness.

“I have to go back inside.” She turns to unlock her door, scared of him and everything building between them.

He doesn’t stop her this time, she can feel his eyes heavy on her back and she halts when he calls out.

“Just.....don’t ignore my messages okay?”

She inhales, wiping at the wet sheet of tears on her face. She should ignore him, he is “do not answer” for a reason.

She nods slowly, “I won’t.” The scariest part is that she means it.

“Good. Come to school tomorrow, it’s boring without you.”

She doesn’t reply and closes the door without turning back, using it has support when her legs finally give out inside. All of her strength suddenly depleted.

She walks straight to her room, sitting at her large vanity looking back at a reflection of a girl she can't recognize.

The purple tiara sits ridiculously on top of her head, all flashy plastic rhinestones and glitter, something out of a child's dream. Her dream. She brings one trembling finger to touch it and without her permission her face breaks into a smile, it's small and fleeting but accompanied with the rosy blush on her cheeks she stares in shock at the face that looks so much like her but can't be.

"Who are you?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Seojun slips on his helmet roughly, he plans on texting her and making sure she keeps her promise. His heart is still recovering from her reaction to retrieving the gift, it was apparent she assumed something else was occurring. It almost looked like she thought he was going to kiss her but she hadn’t moved away, not right away. Did that mean.....

The engine of a sounds behind him shocks him out of his dangerous inklings and he twists his head to see sleek SUV pulling into the hidden garage, the metallic door lifting up to house the vehicle. He doesn’t move, eyes locked on the car. Hands tightening on the armbars he waits impatiently but determined. When the door finally opens and an older man steps out, shorter than him with salt and pepper hair and glasses on his weathered face his blood boils all at once.

“Can I help you? Do you have business here?”

Taking a deep grounding breath, he slides a leg over his motorcycle and revs it to life the rumbling engine calming his homicidal thoughts.

He will never forget this face, he looks like a normal middle-aged man nothing revealing the evil that lurks inside. Menacingly he slowly raises his hand, extending his pointer and lifting his thumb, darkly satisfied when a look of surprise flashes on the older man's face.

"Bang." He pulls back his finger sharply, and now the man is walking angrily towards him but he's ready for this and he twists the throttle and speeds off.

You're not going to hurt her anymore, I'll make sure if it.

The bike thundering beneath him echoes the powerful intent in his mind.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Her father’s pounding on her door shocked her so much the tiara fell off her head as she jolted, she'd carefully picked it up and hid it in a draw fiercely protective of the object already. She knew she shouldn’t keep it but she can’t imagine throwing it away.

Just for a little bit.

"You're meeting someone tomorrow, you'll go right after school. Stop at a store and buy an outfit, something fitting for a date. His father is someone I need on my side, don't mess this up."

She'd sat numb at her father's callous words, he clearly had no issue using his only child to gain favors from others.

"Oh and one more thing, I saw some delinquent outside he even threatened me. You better not know who that punk is. If I ever see him around here again I'll call the police."

That comment has been replaying in her mind all day, he shouldn't have come over yesterday and she shouldn't have humored him by going outside. She kept forgetting rationality around him and it would get them both in danger, her father had all but promised that.

After some careful consideration, she decides to seek him out because school is the safest place they can interact without her father knowing.

He's not in the classroom and she tries to think about where else the boy might be, he's usually never too far from her and she realizes that she hasn't seen him today besides their morning classes. He'd seemed distant then, barely looking at her before drooping off to sleep.

After searching the entire school she's no closer to finding the boy and she sighs in exasperation, why is he so elusive today when she commonly can't get him to leave her alone?

Pulling out her phone, she hesitates for a second before mustering the courage.

Where are you?

Staring at the message she clicks the heel of her shoe, watching the message change from delivered and to read. Her stomach clenches as she waits to see his response, maybe he's already tired of her and finally decided to listen to her advice?

Hating the way her heart thumps in anticipation she moves to pocket her phone but before she can complete the movement, it vibrates to life in her hand.

She freezes.

It's foolish because she sent the first message and she's looking for him but now she's too nervous to check her phone.

Thinking of the soothing beating of his heart on that day, she feels her own heart calming.

Feeling fortified, she lifts the phone and with a sigh opens the message.

In the gym. Why? You miss me?

Is this what this emotion is? This gnawing feeling in her chest when she couldn't find him, it can't be right? They are nothing to each other, correction she's nothing to him.

So no, she can’t miss him.

She clears her thoughts as she walks to the gym, wondering why she never considered looking there.

Sweat and musk clings in the air when she presses the double doors open and all eyes shift to her instantly, slipping on her mask she suppresses the nerves lurking behind her placid stare.

Meeting his eyes across the room, she can't help but notice how sweaty he looks his fringe sticking to his forehead and a droplet rolls down his forearm. Swallowing deeply she closes the gap between them, peering up at him. Discomforted at the way she feels when he slowly smiles at her.

"We need to talk." She doesn't wait for his answer, grabbing his wrist and tugging him from the room. Pretending she doesn't feel all the eyes watching their every movement, everyone needs to just mind their own business.

When they're outside, away from the audience she releases his arm. His heat warming her own cool palm. Suddenly he grabs her hand, twisting them and stroking at the raw shredded skin.

She snatches her hand away harshly, glaring at him. But his angry stare douses her own, a thick vein protrudes from his forehead.

"Did he do this to you? He growls, his fists tightening into balls again.

She stares at him in confusion, unprepared for the level of frustration he's exuding.

Feeling like honestly will be the best thing she shakes her head in decline, "No. I did this to myself."

Disgust. Malice. Contempt. She waits for any of those emotions to cover his face but he's never logical.

"Why?"

Concern. Always genuine concern.

She's never thought of the reason behind her strange compulsion, the desire to wash her hands overwhelming at times.

She's not ready to ponder the psychosis of her actions, not with him and not with herself.

"Did you see my father yesterday?" She changes the topic, regaining control over the conversation before he derails it too far off track.

His lips twists illustrating his displeasure at her obvious attempt to dodge his question but he looks away before replying.

"Yes. After you left, I saw him."

"Did he see your face?"

His eyes dart over her face, as he's searching for an answer to a question only he knows.

Slowly he drawls, "No. I had my helmet on. He didn't see me."

The same moment she releases a sigh of relief he cheekily asks, "Were you worried about me?"

Staring at his smirking face she feels her anger flare back to life passionately.

“Do you think this is a joke? He can destroy you! Stop acting without thinking about the consequences!” She whispers harshly at him, very aware of their precarious situation in the hallway and how easily rumors can spread in this god forsaken school.

“You are worried about me.” He looks even more pleased as he nods smugly.

“Are you insane? Did you listen to a word I said. Seojun, this isn’t a joke!”

He steps closer, eyes harden sharply like someone flipped a switch. “You don’t need to worry about me. He can’t do anything to me, I’m going to protect you.”

Protect her. No one has ever uttered those words to her, and she lets them wash over her before rejecting them, sneering at him with contempt at his brazen claim she says, “Stop saying nonsense. You need to worry about yourself.”

She walks away with her heart firmly lodged in her throat.

I’m going to protect you.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Ju-Kyung and Su-ah are disappointed when she tells them that she can’t go with them for tteokbokki but they don’t ask her too many questions, easily believing her lie about going to night classes. She hates lying to them but there’s no way to explain what she’s doing without exposing too much about her father.

She rushes out of the school thankfully running into no one, not even a certain nosy shadow. He’s shrouded by his friends and girls who swoon at the sight of him looking in disdain she leaves the school, reminding herself this is how it’s supposed to be.

The boutique is expensive, a store associate greeting her at the door and showing her around immediately as if she can smell the money on her. She couldn’t care less about what she wears and she informs the clerk to choose whatever she thinks is appropriate for a date, the word poisonous on her tongue. It’s her first date and it’s with someone she has no amorous feelings for, someone she has never even met before. She walks out of the store with her uniform folded neatly in a bag as she decided to walk out in the new outfit. The clerk had chosen a soft lilac dress with chiffon ruffles lining the hem and shoulders, paired with a white heels and a matching bag. She allowed it because it felt nothing like her, she would have never chosen this for a date and that made her feel like she got to keep a little bit of herself, he wouldn’t be getting the real her.

She checks the address on her phone once more, walking to the street corner to hail a cab feeling like she’s off to an execution.

But that’s when she hears a feminine cry, looking around frantically she sees a young girl across the street surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves, high school boys. They are all laughing and rowdy, seemingly unbothered by the terrified wide gaze of their supposed prey. The cab driver beeps his horn at her impatiently and she ignores it, instinctively making her decision. Running across the street with no thought of her own safety, she smacks away a dirty paw that is reaching out for the trembling girl, her eyes made larger by the huge glasses resting on the bridge of her pert nose. She seems oddly familiar.

“What are you scum bags doing?” She steps in front of the girl shielding her from their unwanted attention.

They all cheer and holler, turning to jostle each other as if they have been given a gift.

With a smarmy smile, one of the boys steps forward pursuing her body with hungry eyes, “Well look here boys, we caught an ever better catch. Look at this sexy little thing.”

He grabs his palms together as they all shout in agreement and when she feels a hand on her wrist, she twists away pulling herself out her reach and swiftly kicks him in the knee he falls to the ground with a grunt of pain.

“What the fuck! You bitch!” He curses at her and another boy lunges forward to grab her but she easily ducks out of his reach and punches in in the chest. The other boys watch in clear astonishment, slowly retreating from her with their hands outreached trying to placate her.

“Hey, hey we’re sorry we were just messing with her. We’re going okay, calm down.”

But then she feels a hand on her ankle and she turns to dig her sharp heel into the offending hand, his scream of pain ringing pleasantly in her ears.

“Get out of my sight before I break your face.”

They all rush to follow her order, picking up their fallen friends on the ground hurling more curses in her direction but leaving with their tails between their legs, pathethic little vermin.

“Are you okay?” She turns to the younger girl with gentle eyes, looking over her body for any injuries and relaxing when she sees nothing out of place.

“Ye-s-s.” She stutters out looking at her with something akin to wonder and awe in her eyes, she shifts uncomfortably under the stare. She isn’t anyone’s hero, she just did what anyone would do.

“Okay. Get home safely. “ She starts to walk away but then a small hand grips her forearm, turning back with curious eyes she looks at the other girl waiting for her to explain.

“Thank you. This is the second time you’ve saved me.”

She looks at the other girl in confusion, taking in her face and those glasses and suddenly the memory resurfaces in her mind. The girl’s bathroom and all those jealous girls ganging up on her, breaking her down because she was better than them she hated those people the worst. Bullies that were so insecure that they lashed out and tried to hurt others, she had grown up seeing one her whole life.

“That was you.”

“You’re always saving me. Thank you so much.’

Shaking her head she replies, “I wasn’t the one who saved you that day. It as Ju-Kyung, I only came at the end. You don’t need to thank me.”

But the other girl ignores her and begins to bow deeply repeating her words of gratitude, she reaches out to bring her back up.

“Stop. You don’t need to do this.”

“Do you want to get some coffee?” She blinks at the sudden question, blinking and then staring some more.

“I just feel so grateful to you, I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t come. You’ve helped me so much, it’s the least I can do. Please.”

She checks her watch discretely, there is still some time before her “date” and looking at the round pleading eyes of the girl she feels her resolve weaken, sighing she goes against her good sense and nods.

“Okay, we can get some coffee. But I have another.....engagement.” She struggles to find the correct word for the sham of a date and settles on that. She would much rather call it a business transaction but that would yield too many questions.

The young girl beams at her, animatedly dragging her off her excited voice sweet and high as she praises a nearby coffee shop.

“My Oppa works there, he can give us free coffee!” She states with youthful entitlement evident in her tone, she has no doubt that she will be given what she wants. It must be nice.

The coffee shop is a quaint spot, she’s never noticed it before despite being in this area before. A bell rings announcing their arrival and they both walk up to the register.

“Oppa! I’m here!” The girl calls out, leaning easily across the counter with no sense of decency, there are no other customers in the store though so there’s no one to judge her and Sujin finds her behavior oddly cute, she’s quite the ball of energy.

“Oh, you’re here?”

A chill runs down her spine. She knows that voice. But it can’t be?

But life isn’t done making a mockery of her yet because Seojun turns around, coffee pot in his hand looking...interesting in his uniform she takes the image in greedily before forcing her eyes away.

“Can we have free coffee? This is my unnie Kang Sujin.”

“Unnie?” They both cry at the same time and the younger girl immediately grabs onto her arm, huge puppy eyes penetrating her face. “Can I call you unnie? You already saved me two times. I feel like you’re my guardian angel.”

She stands shocked by the girl’s admission but before the words are finished processing in her foggy mind, Seojun shouts out looking murderous “Saved you? Did someone try to bully you again? Who is it? I’ll kill them.”

Unsure of who she should reply to she just stares at them both like a fish on land. floundering around. They are both such forces of nature.

“I’m fine Oppa.” She watches the girl roll her eyes as if his behavior is common and something to be peeved about, “These boys were trying to bother me but unnie came and beat them up! It was like something out of a movie, they all ran away crying.” The girl tries to demonstrate the moves waving her arms and legs around wildly, almost knocking the coffee cup from her brother’s hand.

“Hey!” He yells in warning, moving the hot pot away. “Be careful before you hurt yourself.”

The younger girl looks chastised for merely a second before she’s announcing she needs to use the bathroom and running off, leaving them alone to stare after her.

Awkward silence remains in the wake of her departure.

She’s tempted to run away, he is the last person she wants to see right now.

“You really did that? For Go-woon ah?” His voice is soft, almost shy. For once he isn’t the same self-assured Seojun she’s used to see, he looks younger and the resemblance between the siblings is uncanny now with him looking at her with the same look of awe, his little sister had just minutes ago.

“I.....yes I helped her. They were idiots, I did for myself. They were an eye sore.”

But despite her dismissal, he smiles-toothy and ridiculously charming. It’s almost painful to look at, he shouldn’t be allowed to smile like that.

She stares at him lost in his smile and when he reaches out to grasp her hand, she doesn’t fight it helplessly leaning closer to meet him over the counter, their eyes are locked as the space between them shortens, their bodies moving as if they’re opposite ends of a magnet.

“Thank you for helping my sister.” He breathes out, his deep voice smooth and airy suddenly there isn’t enough air in the room. He rubs a thumb across the expanse of her hand, and she forgets to be self-conscious and simply enjoys the tender caress.

“Oppa! Can we get free coffee or not? Why aren’t you making it?” Go-woon’s loud voice shatters the intimate moment as they both fly apart, she moves halfway across the room in her shock.

Go-woon looks between them both suspiciously, “Did I interrupt something? You both look guilty.”

“No!” They shout in sync again, Sujin groans realizes that this probably only serves at making them look even more guilty. Go-woon’s mischievous eyes confirm her thoughts.

“I’ll make your coffee. You can both have a seat.”

Go-woon starts to walk away to find a table, but she checks her watch again realizing she doesn’t have much time left if she’s going to be on time, she has to leave now.

“Can I have mine to go? I have to be somewhere and I’m almost late.”

Then Go-woon chirps in, “Me too oppa! I just realized I have to start a project, I should go home.”

He stares at them both blankly before shifting his gaze to Sujin, “Where are you going?” He asks finally taking in her outfit, his gaze starting on her face and boldly sliding down her figure. His stare is hot enough to burn.

Go-woon giggles answering for her, “Oppa look at her, come on. it’s clear she’s going on a date. Boys really don’t know anything.”

She blanches as how easily the young girl is able to correctly assess the situation, she hadn’t thought it would be that easy to see.

Seojun’s eyes harden as he turns away, staring at the coffee brewer as it works. He grabs two cups and pours the dark hot liquid in, before adding milk and a syrup and a layer of whipped cream on top. Go-woon hums happily clearly this is her preference as he hadn’t asked her how she wanted her coffee.

He silently hands the cups to them both. His face is blank and unreadable vast difference from the beatific smile he had blessed her with earlier. She feels as if she has done something wrong, but she has no clue what that is.

“Go straight home and don’t talk to anyone. Call me when you get home alright?”

Go-woon is barely listening to him instead she’s happily licking at the thick layer of cream on her cup cooing at the sweetness.

“Unnie, thank you again. I hope you enjoy your date, I’ll see you at school!” She suddenly has an armful of Go-woon before the girl is bounding out the door with only a “Bye oppa” to her brother thrown over her shoulder.

“You haven’t said it’s not true yet?”

She turns back to look at him, tilting her head lightly before sipping from her cup. She’s never had coffee this sweet, but it’s delicious so she takes another sip humming at the flavor.

He looks away for a moment, his chest expanding deeply before he turns back to her.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your date. That you have a date, is that true?”

She raises an eyebrow at this straightforwardness, gone in the shy boy she only saw for a minute and this is the Seojun she is familiar with.

“I didn’t.” She agrees.

“Why?”

“Because it’s true. I am going on a date.”

During the conversation he started wiping down the already pristine counter but at her words his hand freezes and she watches his fist tighten in the wash cloth he ultimately throws it to the side to direct all his focus on her now, no longer nonchalant and unbothered.

“With who? Do you like him?”

She laughs meanly at his question, “You’re so naïve to my world. A date is just another business transaction, he is the son of someone my father needs on his side. I’m his peace offering.”

“What?” He barks loudly, looking like he wants to hurt someone. She can imagine who that person might be.

“Don’t get attached to me. My life isn’t mine to live.” She says tired of this discussion and all the feelings he has brought to the surface. Lifting her coffee cup she bids him farewell, “Thank you for the coffee.”

She doesn’t give him a chance to reply, already knows what he’s going to say but he doesn’t understand everything isn’t as black and white as he keeps assuming they are he needed a reality check, so she provided one.

Once on the sidewalk she checks her phone, she only has twenty minutes to spare. She can’t afford to wait for a cab so she opens the cab service app, entering the address and sighing in relief when the ETA says that she will arrive in fifteen minutes. Accepting the charge and confirming her location she sighs before lowering her phone, waiting.

But then she feels arms curl around her shoulder, bringing her back into a solid surface she almost fights the sudden embrace until he whispers in the side of her head, “Don’t go.”

She tries to pull away but he only holds her tighter, his arms are strong as he holds her firmly against his body. His warmth soaks into her skin and the urge to fight melts away as she relaxes into his embrace, he smells like the deep roast he had poured for them and something inexplicably Seojun that can’t be described with mere words.

“Stop,” She pleads with him, she has to go even if the idea of going on a date with someone else makes her sick to her stomach.

Someone else. Where did that come from? Did that mean that she wanted to go on a date with Seojun?

She can’t answer that question, doesn’t want to deal with the reality.

“No. I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop. Sujin, don’t go.”

She shivers as his words curl around her just as warm and tempting as his arms around her shoulders.

“Why are you doing this?” She demands, her eyes already filling up with tears of frustration she’d convinced herself she had to do this, let herself be used. It was easier this way to listen to her father. But he’s making everything hard and she needs to know why he cares.

“Why do you care who I go on a date with? Why are you doing this?” She screams into the air, deflating into his arms after her tantrum. Letting him brunt the entirety of her weight, he doesn’t even budge easily holding her up. He shifts his body, bringing his chin onto her head and holding her tighter, leaving no space between them.

“Isn’t it obvious by now princess?”

She opens her mouth to berate him, not that damn nickname again. He seriously needed to stop that before she got accustomed to it even now instead of annoyance a foreign emotion rose up inside of her.

“I told you to stop calling me tha--”

“I like you.”

The breath is punched from her lungs and her head swims with his words and she has no retort, no quick rebuttal, nothing. He has left her utterly and devastatedly speechless.

#true beauty #true beauty kdrama #han seojun #kang sujin #Seojin #turning up the heat #I just love straightforward characters #your honor she's his princess #true beauty fix it

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hualianff · 3 years

Text

T.F.T.A (I.H) III 《II》

Irodori – Hiroaki Tsutsumi “I can touch up some patches of the walls that look washed out?”

“Uh, no you don’t have to-“

“-oh! And I can vacuum the carpets in the morning before work, during the day, and at night once everyone leaves so the floor will always be spotless-“

“No, really, that’s a bit much-“

“Does anything in your office happen to need dusting?“

HX sighs. This human never stops.

First, it is the food and drinks he delivers to the employees on each floor–without being asked to. His employees are filthy slobs when it comes to dealing with their customers as it is; the extra vacuuming would admittedly be appreciated. Though, HX has no complaints when XL personally brings him fresh coffee and pastries from the bakery on the corner.

Then, it is the excessive cleaning that has somehow become one of his biggest priorities, courtesy of XL. HX supposes this is what he needed a custodian for in the first place. But he can’t help but wonder how YY found a human who is so damn eager to be worked like a slave.

“Mr. Xuan, what cleaning fluid brand do you prefer the bathroom floors to be mopped with?” Xie Lian asked, still sitting in the lone chair in front of HX’s desk, one hour after he first entered. Here he was, going through a laundry list of sterilization questions while HX was still trying to process just how ugly the human’s work uniform was.

He’ll have to do something about that.

HX was, by no means, generous or fashionable. Hell, he currently had on all black–the inner and outer robes being different shades–and cheap sandals that exposed just how pale his skin was. He sported the same skull earrings since first getting his ears pierced, and he kept his hair back in a simple, low ponytail that felt like a rope of lead at times.

They surely must make quite a pair, like the dark and mysterious goth teen meets the wrongly-dressed happy-go-lucky old man. There is no doubt HX beat XL in age by a couple of hundred years, yet, XL somehow still gave off wise-beyond-his-years energy. A man who has seen and been through plenty of life’s obstacles.

Such fragile beings, humans were.

“Um, Mr. Xuan?” XL spoke up again when HX didn’t answer his twentieth question right away. “Is it alright if I call you that? Or should I call you Black Water?”

HX’s frown deepened, sincerely considering how XL should address him. It was not like XL knew the truth behind the title Black Water, and for that reason, it felt improper for the human to speak a name he was not aware held so much power.

“Mr. Xuan is fine,” HX says curtly.

“Oh, okay. Mr. Xuan it is.”

HX exhaled with thinning patience. He placed his elbows on the desk, preparing to shoo his new employee away so he could work in peace.

“You can just call me Xie Lian. I hope to be of the best assistance to you, Mr. Xuan,” XL adds quicker than HX can respond. “By the way, about those cobwebs surrounding the hallways lights-”

Seriously, was this guy out of his mind?

From XL’s perspective, he believes he hit the jackpot with this job. Not only is it incredibly low-stress compared to his previous hustles, but XL often finds himself to be most useful in keeping Black Water company. Yes, XL is aware HX strives to be as antisocial and non-confrontational as possible. And yes, a boss-employee relationship probably shouldn’t cross a certain line into the best friend zone.

But whenever HX happens to be nearby, and XL bounds over with a dozen updates on his work and random stories that he can’t help sharing, HX begrudgingly stays and listens.

“See? Doesn’t dusting make everything nicer to look at?“ XL questions with a sunny smile, gesturing to the bookshelves on one side of HX’s office. He was a quarter of the way through with this task when his boss walked in.

HX merely grunts, then plops down in a chair different from the one guests typically sit in. It appears to be a new addition to the room. In XL’s eyes, more furniture means more growth in self-care for one’s personal space. In this case, HX’s working environment.

Naturally, XL approves with a satisfied nod. He also can’t stop the next words from tumbling out of his mouth.

“By the way, I noticed your tastes in literature differ across many subjects: Folklore, politics, ocean science…”

HX raises an eyebrow at this comment.

“What about it?” he asks, a little blunt, a little curious.

XL continues dusting in between the shelves. He faces away from HX and is glad his boss can’t discern his nervous expression. XL knows he has his nosy moments, knows that he often unintentionally crosses others’ boundaries in order to connect, which irks people all the time.

Maybe this is one of those moments.

Still, XL wants to try.

“Do you want to tell me about them? I’m quite the avid reader myself, and some of these titles look positively compelling,” XL says, skimming a hand down the exquisite spine of one of the books. He turns his head just enough to sneakily eye HX’s reaction, who hasn’t changed his seating positions the last forty minutes.

HX’s arms remain crossed over his chest, staring straight ahead at the wall of bookshelves XL insisted on dusting and tidying. His obsidian eyes noticeably sharpen, jaw slightly relaxing.

HX doesn’t say anything for a long minute. One minute bleeds into two, and then three.

XL sighs, a bit disappointed. He doesn’t want to push HX’s limits, nor initiate conversation he is in no place to discuss. Quietly, XL turns his attention back to work.

But as XL squats down to straighten out some books on the lower shelf, the image of black robes gliding along the floor catches his eye.

HX walks to one of the middle bookcases, caressing his fingers along his vast collection until he pauses on a book with an emerald green cover and characters glimmering in gold. He plucks the novel out of its homely crevice, opening the cover to flick through the worn pages.

XL takes this as his cue to approach, waving around the feather duster in anticipation. HX shifts to show the human the open book, finger pointing to the section header.

“This one is a myth about a parasitic ghost who latches onto its host and feeds off of sadness, sorrow, despair,” HX explains slowly, deliberate with his words. XL’s mouth opens in an “oh” shape, expressing interest in his features.

HX brings the book closer for XL to see.

“It’s one of my favorite reads,” HX murmurs, focusing on the text. XL blinks in astonishment, feeling especially honored that HX shared this with him.

It has only been one month since XL started working at Paradise Deals, and despite HX’s “I don’t care” attitude when it comes to basically anyone ever, XL definitely considers them to be friends.

And that is honestly the most he could ever ask for.

“Then I’ll be sure to put it on the top of my list,” XL chirps, tapping the book with the duster.

The corner of HX’s mouth tugs upwards.

*** Flor y Sangre – Sophism, Isabella LeVan, A Million in Vermillion One day, as XL rides the elevator up to the eleventh floor, it stops at the third floor first. The doors open to reveal a man with a green dress shirt tucked into black-and-white checkered pants. The same checkered-patterned suit jacket hangs loosely over his shoulders.

The man’s dark hair is long enough to cover his ears, making him appear quite young. Side bangs obstruct his eyes, but upon seeing XL’s face, the strands fly out of the way as he shakes his head in surprise.

“YOU!” The man seethes out, stomping into the elevator with clenched fists.

“M-me?” XL looks around, then points to himself questioningly.

“What are you doing here!? And what the hell are you wearing!? Am I supposed to fall for a dumb disguise like this?” The stranger fires back, voice getting more high-pitched as he jabs an offending finger at XL’s nose.

XL is beyond confused. He glances down at his custodian attire, the nameplate thankfully still in place. It’s in navy this time, courtesy of Black Water’s kindness is providing XL with more than one work outfit that doesn’t automatically suck the soul out of whoever sees it.

There is an awkward beat of silence.

The elevator doors close, XL now pressed with his back against the wall, nervously fiddling with the mop in his hands.

“Do I know you?” XL asks, forgetting his manners in a panicked state while searching his memories, trying to recognize the man in front of him.

“Fucking rude, as always,” the man sneers, giving XL a nasty stink-eye before backing off. “If you won’t reveal your true self now, I’ll just follow you until you do.”

“Excuse me? I have no idea what you’re talking about,” XL rushes out, sneaking in a few bows here and there. “Perhaps you’ve mistaken me for the wrong person?

The man crosses his arms as if seriously contemplating XL’s words. His eyes shift from XL’s face, to his attire, to the mop, and then finally, up towards above XL’s head.

He decidedly shakes his head, unconvinced.

“No, I’m not that gullible. How convenient would it be that the first time I see you in who-the-fuck-knows-how-long, you’re stuck like this,” he hisses lowly. “Weak. Useless. Ignorant.”

Now that makes XL’s eyebrows rise into his hairline. He’s been harshly insulted before–regarded as pitiful and lacking potential in many areas–and likes to think his skin is thicker because of it. But to be directly attacked by a man whom he has no memory of meeting before? XL can’t help but feel like this is entirely uncalled for.

How does this man even know him?

The elevator doors slide open, having reached the eleventh floor. On the other side stands Black Water, wearing an expensive-looking suit with navy lining and silver cuffs. His foot stops its tapping on the ground where it had been denting the carpet.

“Xie Lian, I’ve been looking for you,” Black Water says, completely ignoring the other man in the elevator. “I’m meeting with a few clients on the east side of the city, and I need you to handle the documentation.”

He holds out a huge briefcase with the same fish symbol as the ones on the doors in the hallway. As XL steps out of the elevator to accept the briefcase, an interested “Xie Lian, huh?” sounds from behind.

“Pardon me, sir, if I can’t recall our first acquaintance. But did you need something from me?” XL asks while turning around, attempting to hold out an olive branch once more. Next to him, Black Water pulls out his phone and mindlessly scrolls down the screen.

“I can’t believe you actually did it. Got yourself a name and everything,” the man says, disbelief coloring his features. Then his eyebrows pinch together in a sudden display of anger. He locks eyes with XL, those amber eyes looking eerily similar to his own. “You disgust me.”

Before XL can react, the elevator doors slam shut instantly with a loud boom, masking the sound of fingers snapping right next to him. XL jerks at the sound, hands white-knuckling the briefcase.

“Do you know who that is?” XL asks his boss, tilting his head. This encounter has left him awfully confused and a little worried about his job. Would this affect what his boss thinks about his impact in the workplace?

It seems this trouble is needless when HX eyes simply narrows his eyes at the closed doors, a stormy expression on his face.

“No one to concern yourself with.”

Bonus:

XL finds out QR is the lower-levels’ boss, who holds an apparent grudge against him…? Once QR had come across XL in the elevator, he sticks around like an unwanted pest, somehow having the time to harass XL many hours a day.

XL: “Why does this guy keep following me around and insulting me?”

XL eventually cleans QR’s floors too because he has time and it seems QR won’t leave him alone.

HX: “Give me back my custodian!”

QR: “Fuck off! Why are you so defensive about mortal scum?”

XL, wiping down the doors, whistling: (´∀｀*)

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven offical's blessing #hualian #hualian au #xie lian #hua cheng #he xuan #qi rong #cerdrabbles #TBC #one of he xuan's books is titled 'how to get away with murder' no cap #xie lian and he xuan best friend agenda #guess who suggested he xuan should get a custodian in the first place #it's the same person who he xuan leeches off of to pay xie lian his salary #protect xie lian at all costs he's gonna need it #I'm writing this instead of doing online college #college is a scam

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spectralscathath · 3 years

Note

do robyn :3c:

Send me a RWBY character and I’ll tell you:

Robyn Hill

My top three ships for the character

Clover/Robyn (Lucky Shot is my OTP), Qrow/Robyn (Jailbyrds is a spite ship and I’ll admit it), Roman/Robyn (Rob the Rich, if only for the name)

My three least favorite ships for the character

Robyn/any of the other Happy Huntresses, Robyn/Winter (I remember that fucking ‘snowbyrd’ discourse you bastards), Robyn/Qrow (when I remove the spite goggles I don’t like this at all.)

My biggest criticism for the character

you got 10 minutes? 20? Maybe 30? Buckle up fuckos. I got some points to make and you’re gonna listen.

1. Robyn Hill is wasted potential

Robyn’s first appearance was one of my favourite scenes of Vol7. No joke! She was witty, interesting, had an excellent banter with Clover, deliberately stood down from a fight she couldn’t win, though she seemed eager for a challenge, showed some cunning, and looked like she was having fun.

And then pretty much all of that got ignored. Robyn was set up as a good, smart leader with a cocky swagger, history with Clover, a deceptively cunning streak, and a calm, level-headed attitude. What Robyn was from then on was Angry Shouty Hothead Picks Fights She Can’t Win. She turned into someone impulsive, short-sighted, bullheaded, and focused only on fighting. 70% of Robyn’s lines are about violence and how she likes violence and how she wants to fight with VIOLENCE. The other 30% are, incidentally, ‘i’m so smart and understanding and kind, I’m gonna force people to undergo a lie detector test via peer pressure and ultimatums but it’s actually tragic that no one wants to be my friend because of my semblance. Poor me.

And that was not what I was expecting. That is not what was foreshadowed. And compared to what the potential could have been, a good allusion rich with depth, a setting that could ahve been interesting if it wasn’t so rushed, how she could have been a player on the board, filled so many possible roles, and instead she was a walking ‘Ironwood bad’ mouthpiece that didn’t actually do anything (and has never done well in a fight, which is RWBY’s staple). What a waste.

2. Robyn Hill actively makes things worse and gets no comeuppance

Robyn Hill makes situations worse. First of all, she steals supplies from Ironwood (and then doesn’t use them???? what the fuck????), which puts Ironwood under stress, which then leads to Ruby being Miss Unhelpful (but that’s a rant for another day). Robyn then gets classified info from Blake and Yang who, may I remind you, never met her. She could have been a spy! But no, Blake just has a gut feeling (because the script said so).

Robyn then calls James out on this, which later leads to ‘how did Robyn know about the global communications tower’, which means the fighting happens in the office, everyone stresses, Salem provides one of the few redeeming scenes in the show post-Ironwatts fight (it all went downhill from there, even more then it already was). Robyn didn’t explicitly cause this but she sure as fuck had a hand in it.

Then you have fucking. Clover’s death. Yes, Robyn, agreeing with the serial killer who just tried to murder you and starting a fight in an enclosed space when you’re a ranged fighter vs your melee combatant ex-boyfriend is absolutely the smart thing to do. And then, for a moment, Qrow and Clover nearly sort things out, and fucking Robyn jumps in again. And then, what did she do? She got knocked out immediately. Yikes. Ladies and gentlemen, our ‘Resident Strong Female Character’. But because she did all this, she pretty much guaranteed first: Tyrian escaped. Secondly: Clover died.

And yeah, Robyn. Just because Qrow didn’t personally shove that blade through Clover’s chest, he still worked with The Serial Killer Who Kills People to help. So yeah, Robyn, that does count as some sort of murder. Or at least, accomplice to murder. You’re also vaguely adjacent to it, so don’t get all ‘but Qrow’s innocent’.

It’s the same problem with team RWBY. They do terrible things, they whine about how hard it is, and all is forgiven cause they’re cute sad girls. There’s no comeuppance. There’s no growth. It’s just the script going ‘this character is right because we said so, so now we’re gonna do our best approximation of if a pretzal and a contortionist had an unholy boneless lovechild and bend the plot so the characters win anyway.’

3. Robyn Hill is a static character

This is gonna sound weird with this lil header but Robyn actually had an arc in vol7! She had an arc that was fairly basic, she went from ‘I don’t trust Ironwood and want to know what’s going on’ to ‘I am actively ruining Ironwood’s goals’ and finally settled on ‘I know what’s going on, Ironwood is worth supporting, and I do trust him.’ It was a simple arc, but it didn’t need to be anything more then that.

Then in the span of about 1 minute all her actual development was reversed and she ran backwards to her original stance of ‘Ironwood bad’. We literally saw her devleopment walk backwards, and there it stayed. She spent all of vol8 as an empty voicebox that occasionally pipped out ‘Qrow’s my friend’ and was devoid of any personality. She didn’t have much beforehand that wasn’t fairly generic, so it’s almost impressive.

The problem is that static characters take a lot of work to avoid being boring characters. A lot of rwby just has these problems in general, character development is either ignored, skipped over, or given to the wrong characters, but in Robyn’s case it’s actively annoying because she had some development, and then she ignored all of that to go back to being ‘ironwood bad’ with a side of ‘Qrow good’ because we needed to be reminded of that after he got an innocent man killed.

4. Robyn Hill is an unnecessary character

Why are you here. What do you do. Robyn was stated to be a character meant to act in opposition to Ironwood, to put him under stress like every other fucking character in this series. This was ‘confirmed’ by Eddy Rivas, which means zero because at some point the mentally deranged Weazel Ball that masquerades as the crwby writing team’s collective braincell will rapidly and suddenly change direction, causing massive retcons and plotholes in their moth-eaten threadbare dishtowel they dare to call ‘lore’, and we will have a different excuse for this waste of a good VA.

Here’s the thing tho: Robyn as ‘opposition for Ironwood’ isn’t fucking special. The fucking air in the Atlas Academy lobby opposes Ironwood. Robyn seems to be there... because Mantle needed a voice? Okay, well, why the fuck did Mantle need to exist? Because... the election plotline needed to exist so Jacque could do something mean? God, everything about Mantle and Robyn and the election plotline is just annoying. It drags and it adds nothing to the plotline and it all should have been culled so instead we could focus on things that are actually important (like maybe: the myth arc? character development? the fucking Schnees in Atlas???) rather then rwby’s fuckboi incel attempt at ‘classism = bad?’. If I, as a professional paid editor who works with actual manuscripts, was given the scripts for rwby vol7, I would have gotten the big red highlighter and done a shitload of crossing out. Then I would have told the writing team “come back with your second draft”, but alas, we got the Atlas Arc.

My favorite thing about the character

I love her design aside from that ugly-ass scarf. Also, her VA, Cristina Vee, is the only redeeming quality of this tire-fire of a character. Godbless and praise.

A headcanon I have about them

She deals with chronic ‘ponytail keeps falling out’ syndrome, just constantly. So many hairbands get used up when she does anything.

What I would change about them if I was making a re-write

Everything. Every fucking thing. Especially that stupid fucking lie-detecting semblance.

What I I think of their character allusion and what (if anything) I would change about it

It’s incredibly underutilised. It’s Robin Hood in-name-only. It’s like, the most basic ‘oh the name is Robin and they steal’ and there’s not even any of the most obvious tells. Where’s the bright green? Where’s the hood? Where’s the fucking longbow? Where’s the ‘giving to the poor’ that comes after ‘stealing the rich’? She didn’t actually use any of those things she stole to fix Mantle, she just stole it.

Literally, all the classic elements of Robin Hood are missing, all that’s there is a name and... that’s it. The allusion isn’t there, and even if it was, it’s done in a boring fashion.

Personally, I would add more Robin Hood elements, and I would change one key thing. I would change her allegiance. Instead of ‘Robin Hood on the side of good’, I would take the team WTCH approach, a ‘good allusion turned evil’, and I’d have Robyn working with Salem, or, at least, as an antagonist. Because that could be actually interesting then the boring and unnecessary storyline we had.

#rwby #robyn hill #asks #if you get mad at this just remember Galatians 4:16

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greyias · 5 years

Text

FIC: By the Guidance of Stars - Chapter 10

Title: By the Guidance of Stars Fandom: SWTOR Pairing: Theron Shan/f!Jedi Knight Rating: T (this chapter) Genre: Angst, H/C, Romance, Humor Synopsis: The Coalition tries to heal in the aftermath of the Battle of Yavin 4, but not every wound is physical. A series of missing scenes set during the end of Shadow of Revan. Author’s Note: It’s been a long time since you saw this header... eh? Thanks to TheWIPProject2019 I’m trying to get this beasty finished up before the end of the month. And we’re close! So close! Also, I feel the need to point out again that certain viewpoint characters do not necessarily reflect my own views, etc, etc. Just trying to stick to what’s portrayed in canon. Warnings: See Chapter 1.

The sun and the gas giant rose on the horizon as morning wore on, their duel for dominance cranking up the humidity into an uncomfortable swelter that he was becoming unfortunately familiar with. After the debrief with Saresh, Theron had retreated further into the canopy under the guise of helping with departure preparations. He wouldn’t go so far as to say it was cooler there, but it was a little less miserable than baking out under the sun.

Of course, there were several things that needed to be done before their withdrawal from the planet, but his motivations weren’t exactly selfless. After the meeting had wrapped, Lana came by to bid her Republic counterparts farewell, and Theron hadn’t felt the need to stick around and chat. He’d never been particularly talented at saying goodbye when he was on the best of terms with people — and things with Lana were… complicated.

Prior to his capture at the hands of the Revanites, there had been this queer sort of understanding between them. He wouldn’t go so far as to call it blind trust — but they’d had each others’ backs during their long exile. Partners in crime, if only by necessity rather than choice. They’d built a familiar rapport that to an outsider might mistake them for actual friends. And yet traditional friendships didn’t involve getting each other tortured by the enemy—although maybe they’d never really been so much as friends. Just temporary allies stuck together for an extended period of time.

It was probably Theron’s own fault for forgetting that.

After his escape from the Revanites, he hadn’t been able to completely ignore that itchy feeling of unease that settled between his shoulder blades when she was around. On some rational level, he knew it wasn’t fair to Lana that he would get a flash of a dark room deep in an underground Rishi compound. It wasn’t really her fault that he felt pressure building in his skull at the memory of forceful mind probes, or for a moment only hearing the ragged echo of his own screams reverberating in a small cramped room. All of that would eventually go away in time, he knew. It wasn’t utterly rational for him to hold a grudge — but then again, Theron had never really been accused of being a paragon of rationality.

So he’d kept his final interaction with her as short as humanly possible, which may have meant that he’d come off a little more terse than he’d intended if Kira’s arched brow at him was any indication. He’d felt a little pride in being able to be mostly civil with Lana during the whole thing, so he’d ignored the Jedi’s silent admonishments. He was less successful in ignoring the ugly feeling bubbling in his gut at leaving Grey alone with Lana to talk. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was concern. It was too difficult to untangle at this point, and he honestly didn’t care as long as he just got himself as far away from the awkward situation as possible.

So he’d made himself useful instead. Satele had given him a manifest of several shuttles on the ground that needed preflight checks. That was the pretense anyway. What they’d really needed was a thorough sweep for bugs, tracking devices, and any other nasty surprises before docking with the Dauntless and getting back into Republic space. Just because there was a temporary truce when it came to the remaining Revanites and the search for Vitiate didn’t mean that they had to blindly trust the Imperials. After all, if it had occurred to Theron to try and use the opportunity to gain extra intel while both sides were together, he was fairly certain the same thing had occurred to the Imps.

He hadn’t really found anything noteworthy or surprising — except for just one interesting thing. The last shuttle on the list had been assigned to him as part of his reinstatement with the SIS. A ship with a very familiar name and registry — Sojourner.

It was standard procedure for the government-owned property of any rogue intelligence agents to be confiscated, inspected, and then reappropriated as needed. That wasn’t the weird part — just another uncomfortable reminder of how much Theron had to straighten out once he got back to Coruscant. No, the weird thing was how his ship had wound up in Satele’s possession.

It was very possible that it was pure coincidence. Wartime led to a lot of organized chaos, and it wasn’t out of the ordinary for assets to be reassigned where they were needed most. It was also possible that Satele had somehow managed to arrange the transfer of his shuttle to her fleet. But there was no reason for her to do that. They weren’t exactly close and she would had to have some sort of motivation to put forth the effort. Like realizing the charges leveled against him were trumped up and had held onto something for him until his name was cleared. But that implied some amount of faith in him, both in his character and his abilities. And that just… he didn’t really know what to do with that.

As his hand brushed over the familiar hull, a rush of memories and emotions washing over him, he decided that maybe the could analyze the implications and the coincidences later. For now he was just happy to have something of his own back again. Well, technically it was still Republic property. But possession was nine-tenths of the law, as the saying went.

The crunch of heavy boots in the underbrush roused him from his thoughts, and he glanced up from his datapad to see Grey making her way through the jungle. A quick glance at the chrono let him know that the morning had worn on longer than he’d realized — and that their time here on Yavin was growing to a close. An uncomfortable feeling rose in his chest at that thought, and he did his best to ignore it.

“So, I see you found me,” he said by way of greeting.

“You managed to discover a good hiding spot,” she commented lightly, her tone almost teasing.

“What makes you think I’m hiding?” He tossed back, tapping out a few last commands into the datapad before stowing it away.

She gave a little shrug, still with that half smile. “Well, you’re off here on your own. I thought you just hated packing.”

“Well, packing is the worst,” he agreed, “although I’m not hiding from it.”

She quirked a brow. “Hiding from something else then?”

“You don’t give up easily, do you?”

The teasing grin faded into a gentler smile. “You disappeared pretty quickly earlier. I wasn’t sure…”

It probably was a little wishful thinking that his quick exit earlier would have been completely ignored and forgotten. He swallowed the sigh that threatened to escape and wondered if it was worth the attempt to bluff his way out this conversation. Their time here on Yavin was almost up — and there were far better ways to spend it than debating about Lana Beniko.

“Satele needed help with departure prep.” That earned an arched brow in disbelief, and he felt his bottled up sigh escaping before mumbling, “And maybe I also thought things might be a little less awkward without me there.”

Her face didn’t exactly fall but her eyes dropped to the ground, lips pressing together. He did his best to ignore the pang in his gut that made him want to take back the moment of honesty. It really wasn’t fair that she could twist his insides up with just a look.

“I had hoped that we could all part as friends, but… I understand your feelings about Lana right now,” she said after a moment, “and it would be wrong for someone to tell you that you have no right to them.”

He was fairly certain she didn’t understand all of his complicated feelings regarding their Sith ally, or soon-to-be former ally rather. He didn’t exactly have it all sorted out himself — but it was a nice change of pace that he didn’t have to argue about his feelings.

“It’s less that, and more… giving you space.” There was a little more hesitation in his reply than he would have let others’ hear — but then again, taking this sort of care in a conversation was also a bit of new territory for him. At her quirked brow, he added, “You and Lana have a little bit of a different dynamic. It’s not my place to impose.”

His words were genuine, if a little grudgingly uttered. He wasn’t sure exactly how right Kira had been about everything — but she had a point about him trusting the woman in front of him. It was not something he afforded to many people, but this particular Jedi had earned his at the very least.

“That’s very thoughtful,” Grey said, her lips twitching at the hints of a smile, “but you didn’t have to go so far.”

Theron shrugged lightly. “You know my motto: go big or go home.”

“I did not realize you had codified that particular impulse into a motto.” Her quirked lips quivered a little, as if she was suppressing a grin.

“Impulse?” He asked with mock indigence. “Are you suggesting that I don’t think through everything I do?”

That got the grin to emerge as she let out a snort that was very undignified for a Jedi Master, but she didn’t seem to notice. “Maybe just the smallest of suggestions.”

His harumph was half-hearted at best, but it earned a snicker, and more importantly, moved them away from the awkward topic. Of course, they still hadn’t addressed the bantha in the room, which was the one thing he’d been avoiding thinking about as much as possible. Which was that the time for their own parting was rapidly drawing nearer. Part of him just wanted to keep up the teasing, maybe see exactly how loud and undignified he could make her snort. It was almost tempting to just keep things light and happy and not even bring up the fact that this could be the last time they saw each other — at least for a long while. However, it was probably better in the long run to just rip off the kolto patch now and not draw this out any longer.

“So, this is it, huh?”

Her mirth evaporated as she caught onto his meaning and she gave a small nod. “I suppose… I suppose it is.”

“It’s been quite a ride, hasn’t it?” He added. “I mean, it’s not every day you dismantle a galactic conspiracy and save both the Republic and the Empire from destruction.”

“Not every day,” she allowed, “and not necessarily all at once.”

Oh. Right. He almost forgot who he was talking to. Theron made a living working in the shadows, but even after all the time they’d work together he hadn’t quite gotten used to standing in the long one she cast. “Brag, brag, brag.”

“I’m not bragging,” she insisted quickly, “or trying to undercut your accomplishments — it is a very good thing we did here, Theron.”

Oh stars, she was just so… so… he didn’t even know, just that he was going to miss this too. Even if it made him feel awkward and uncomfortable far more than he ever wanted to. What the hell was wrong with him?

“I’m kidding,” he said, only letting her linger in the flustered state for a few moments, “and if we’re being honest you did most of the hard work.”

“Do not discount your own contributions.”

“I’m not,” he assured her, “I’m just giving credit where it’s due.”

“You deserve just as much credit,” she said firmly.

“Well, I mean, I did get my old job back,” Theron said, “so it’s not like it all went unnoticed.”

“Well good,” she gave a small huff, “the Republic and the SIS are very lucky to have as dedicated and talented an agent as you.”

“Can I get a recording of that to play back for the director?” he joked.

“Certainly. Where is your recorder?”

From the look in her eye and tone of her voice, he wasn’t sure if she was serious or not. The mental image of her facing off with Marcus Trant was an amusing one. Jedi overachiever versus the Republic’s chief spy — it would certainly be quite the show. Not that Theron really needed any extra help with someone singing his praises, and definitely not from his, uh… his…

Okay, they didn’t really have any definitions right now for whatever this thing was. That was fine. Suited him perfectly really. Definitions were muddy and confusing and just made a mess of things anyway. That was probably part of what had tripped him up in the past. Well, that and working too much. Not that he was going to stop that. The working part. He had things to do. Besides, it was better to just go with the flow and see where the moment took them and—

“So what’s next for you?” she asked. The way she was tilting her head slightly at him in confusion said that perhaps his utter mental derailment over the state of their not-relationship may have not gone entirely unnoticed.

He cleared his throat, trying to refocus back on the present. “Coruscant. Have to debrief officially, do some paperwork. Boring stuff really. You?”

“I must admit, I don’t exactly know. I will have to report back to the Jedi Council and see where they want to send me next.” A frown of stole across her face as she gave the matter further thought. “I… did not exactly ask for permission to head to Rishi. That will take a little bit of explanation.”

He almost teased her for the flagrant rule breaking and broach of protocol, but a memory of the previous night resurfaced and quashed the impulse just as quickly. “Well, at least you had the Grand Master with you for the latter half of this whole mess. That should help.”

“Yes,” Grey said, “I am certain she will help straighten everything out.”

“You know, I think she just might.”

The words escaped him without much thought, which surprised him a little. Apparently they did the other participant of the conversation as well because her eyebrows raised a little in surprise, but she didn’t comment directly.

He gave a half shrug, trying to recover his footing. “I mean. You are her favorite.”

“Theron, she cares just as much—”

“It’s a joke,” he cut her off, perhaps too quickly, before he could hear whether she was about to argue in favor of Satele’s impartiality when it came to her fellow Jedi or if the statement was going to be a little more familial in nature.

The frown returned in full, her hands settling on her hips as she fixed him with a look for his rude interruption. “I am not trying to intervene or insert myself where I do not belong, but… she does care. Even if it’s not shown in the same way everyone else does.”

Theron’s gaze drifted down to the lightsabers clipped at Grey’s belt and then back to his shuttle, an odd feeling bubbling up in chest. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just a really confusing one. Something he had no idea what to do with and he let out a long sigh, hand unconsciously drifting to the back of his neck to rub at an invisible itch. “Yeah, maybe… I mean… it’s just weird for me.”

Her frown melted away into a contrite look and she cautiously laid a hand on his. “I apologize. That was not my place to speak on.”

“It’s okay,” he said after a moment, giving a quick glance to their surroundings before adjusting his hand so that he could thread his fingers through hers. “Just one of those things. Not sure if I’ll ever get used to it — at least with her.”

That didn’t seem to particularly mollify her, so he added after a moment’s hesitation. “But can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

“After everything that’s happened lately, I’ve been starting to wonder if you might be right. About… that. And maybe a few other things.”

The apologetic expression gave way to a genuine smile that was almost blinding in its intensity and almost made up completely for the awkward conversation. Well, and her close proximity definitely didn’t hurt.

He did another quick scan of their surroundings and a readout flashed on the HUD in his ocular implants, letting him know that the area around them was completely clear of onlookers. So he stepped in even closer and dropped his voice an octave as he gave her fingers a squeeze. “You know, it’s kind of funny.”

“What is?”

“Everyone knows you as this famous Jedi — and yet no one knows just how amazing you are.”

“I’m not—”

“You are,” he punctuated his words with another squeeze of his fingers, and followed it up by cupping her face with his other hand so she couldn’t look away. “Sure I mean, you can swing around a lightsaber like nobody’s business, but you also make a pretty damn good spy and saboteur.”

“I would not call those my strengths,” she said, “I am only as good as those supporting me.”

He hummed softly in consideration. “So you’re saying you had a pretty good partner then?”

“The best.”

“Sounds like a pretty lucky guy to me,” Theron mused, “although I’m pretty sure he can’t do nearly as good a pirate impression as you.”

She flushed at the mention of her cover identity back on Rishi. “I was just trying to get into character. For the mission.”

“You got very into character if I remember correctly.” He grinned as the color in her cheeks darkened. “Complete with a very ridiculous pirate outfit.”

“It’s not ridiculous!” she insisted. “It’s… historically accurate.”

“You had an ornamental eyepatch,” he pointed out. “What did you wind up doing with that thing anyway?”

“It’s on the ship.” She gave him a look. “Why? Do you want me to go and get it?”

“Hmm, maybe later.”

“Later?”

“I’ve got a different idea on what we could be doing with our time.” He brushed his fingers across her cheek, watching the way her breath hitched ever so slightly with motion. “If you think you’re up for it.”

This close up, he could see her entire thought process as she worked through the innuendo and invitation. A subtle furrowing of the brow in brief puzzlement, before her eyes widened ever so slightly in realization, and her cheeks flushed even darker than before. Then she was looping her arms around his neck, leaning in for a long, slow kiss filled with desire and promises of much more.

As she pulled away, she looked up at him with those big blue eyes. “Something like that?”

“It’s a good start.” He grinned back at her, one hand going around her waist as he pulled her in even closer. “Why don’t we move to somewhere a little more private?”

Her return kiss was answer in itself.

#swtor fanfiction #theron shan x jedi knight #Theron Shan #Female Jedi Knight/Hero of Tython #otp: adorkable #oc: greyias highwind #SoR Fic O Doom #ONE YEAR LATER #we get an update #thank goodness for #thewipproject2019 #(this is a frankenchapter)#(in that it has pieces from all of the cut chapters that preceded it)#swtor #fanfic #greyfic

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feathersxdreams · 6 years

Text

Secrets [k.jw] au

Pairing: Kim Jungwoo Genre: Fluff

Credits for the Jungwoo PNG I used in the header go to kkkai [deviantart.com]

Promotions were difficult. Long and hard days filled with practice, performance and interviews, little sleep or time to rest and also little food. Everything was rushed and hectic and stressful. You had known this would be happening before but it was hard to see the full extent before actually having to go through it. The past few days you had passed out every time you sat down in front of the mirror, waiting for your make-up and hair to be done. It was one of the few times you could get some rest without having to stress.

“[y.n]?” Someone tapped your shoulder gently. “You’ve got a visitor.” You raised your head to look at the door through the mirror. A soft smile spread on your lips as you saw who it was. Jungwoo, your best friend, returned that smile brightly before walking over, leaning against the desk in front of you at a spot where he wouldn’t be in the way of your stylist. Immediately you felt happy and at ease. Jungwoo was the one person that could do that to you. You loved your members but it wasn’t the same as it was around Jungwoo. You had known him for years and fully trusted him. “Hey.” He greeted. “Hey yourself.” You were tired and wanted to sleep but chances to talk to him were limited these days. Both of you were promoting in your groups right now and he had a whole lot of fans who would be following him if you tried to meet up. And both of you know that dating rumours would spread as soon as people saw you alone together. Which would be followed by hateful comments towards the two of you and neither of you really wanted that. “You look tired.” He remarked. “Still cute, but tired.” He looked at you worried. For some reasons he took the whole stress way better than you. Probably because to him dancing was way easier which meant that he didn’t practise till late night unlike you. But you had to. In order to make everyone happy, you had to. “I’m okay.” You answered. His compliment had made you a little happier. A little fuzzy and warm on the inside too. It was nice to hear it from him. It was nice to see that someone worried. Your make up covered up those dark circles underneath your eyes and the fact that you looked really pale these days. Only those who really payed attention where able to see how tired you really were. You didn’t tell anyone how drained you felt. They had other things to worry about and you didn’t want to take their attention away from promotions. “You need to sleep more.” Jungwoo leaned forwards a little to look at you better. For a second you worried that he would be able to see how tiered and ugly you looked underneath the make-up. Being friends with a visual from a popular boy group without feeling ugly wasn’t easy. You were happy your best friend was loved and complimented by so many but you couldn’t help but feel a little envious. Also, you tried avoiding standing close to his group during encore so you wouldn’t have to be to insecure about your own looks. “I’m okay, Jungwoo.” You didn’t want anyone to push you to do something. You knew what you were doing and what was okay for you. You didn’t need anyone to tell you what to do. Or what was good for you. “I’m just worried.” He mumbled, looking a little sad. “I don’t want something to happen to you.” The puppy eyes he gave you made you feel bad and guilty in an instant. Your best friend only worried about you while you lashed out at him for doing so. “I’m sorry for lashing out.” You would’ve let your head hang if it wasn’t for your stylist to hold your chin right now. “But I’m okay, Jungwoo.” You were. Maybe a little exhausted but nothing you couldn’t handle. You chose the idol life. With its good and bad sides. Jungwoo didn’t answer. He seemed to think about something but before you could ask, he got called by someone who told him that he had to go on stage now. He was gone before you could even talk about different topics, leaving you a little sad. Talking with Jungwoo always helped you calm down and feel better. Your hair and make-up were done just five minutes later and your manager ushered you and the rest of your group out and towards the stage. NCT was already done with their rehearsal and you saw them fooling around in front of a camera on the other side of the stage. Right now, Jungwoo was standing next to Lucas, leaning against him a little, while watching Taeyong talk about something. Your group got called out to go up next and someone handed you your name sign to wear over your top. You put it one, before following the other members, taking your position, right behind your leader. Rehearsals went well, so did the prerecording a little later. You would perform live today but for some reasons they still wanted a pre-recorded version. You didn’t ask. Questioning things sometimes just led to arguments. You put on a bright smile and danced and sang. After all it was for your fans, right? And you wanted them to be happy. The downfall came a little later. You started feeling a little dizzy a few minutes before you had to go on stage for the actual live performance. Till now you had been okay. Tired, but still okay. You drank a few sips of water, telling yourself that it was nervousness and that it would be gone as soon as you started your performance. However, it didn’t. You felt hot and cold at the same time as you took your position and your limbs were heavier then usually while dancing. You shook your head slightly and told yourself to focus but still noticed how you were dancing off beat and not being able to fully do the moves. When your group reached the first chorus you felt like throwing up and seconds after you finished it, your vision started to spin before you lost sense and everything turned black.

When you woke up you were in a hospital room. A needle in your arm, attached to a long tube that ran to an infusion bag. You felt weak and tired, way more than before. But also, shocked because you obviously fainted during a live show. You fainted in front of people and cameras. On live television. And the possible consequences scared you. The door was opened, reviling your manager. He looked relieved when he saw you were awake and softly closed the door before walking over. “How are you feeling?” He asked. Your first instinct was to tell him that you felt okay but then you realized that it was, what had brought you here. And that he probably wouldn’t believe it anyway. He had made it clear that he didn’t want you or the rest of your group to lie to him when it came to health. “Exhausted.” You mumbled, eyes casting down. You expected him to scold you for putting your company in a bad position and stuff like that but instead he reached forward and patted your shoulder. “No activities for you for at least a week. And I will personally take you girls home after your dance teachers wrapped up practice.” He gave you a stern look. “Sleep the rest of the day, I will take care of everything else. Including the dating rumours. And if you want, you can put out a message for your fans tomorrow, telling them how you feel, alright?” You widened your eyes. What dating rumours did he meant? You had stayed away from most other idols in public and still somehow got caught in a dating scandal? At the same day you fainted? “Your friend Jungwoo rushed on stage right after everyone realized you dropped to the floor.” Your manager explained when he saw your expression. “The show producers were fast enough to immediately switch over to the pre-recorded version so people only saw you like that on television for a second but there were quite a lot of people who filmed your performance. Or started filming after they saw it happened. And now there are about fifty videos showing how he carried you of stage while Eunjung held onto your hand. Could have been a romantic drama scene but for us it means more trouble than we already have.” It did. Having you faint in public would already cause a lot of harsh comments from the public. Jungwoos appearance stirred up rumours and more negative comments towards both him and you. This was a lot. “I’m sorry.” You mumbled. You really were. You hadn’t planned to cause this much trouble. For anyone. And you also didn’t want to pull SM Entertainment into this. “SM Entertainment put out a statement already. They explained that the two of you are friends since elementary school and that Jungwoo got really worried when he saw you faint and couldn’t stop himself from rushing up there and trying to help you.” You had a feeling that SM took the whole situation a lot worse than your company did. People knew that you and Jungwoo went to school together and that you had befriended each other, however you rarely talked about it in public. There had been some dating rumours before but nothing that wouldn’t die down if it just got ignored. This was different. And SM Entertainment was a far larger company than yours, just like NCT was a more popular group than yours. Plus, their company seemed to be caught in scandals more often than most other companies did. “Should I put out something too?” You asked. But your manager shook his head. “We take care of the dating scandal, you take care of yourself for now.” You were relieved. You had expected harsh words from both your manager and your company but till now none of that had happened. Instead they took care of you and everything that needed to be done. “Thank you.” You couldn’t bow because you were lying in bed but you made a mental note to properly thank both your manager and your company for doing all of this. “Thank us by getting healthy again.” Your manager grinned before promising that he would talk to a doctor to find out when you would be allowed to go home and then saying goodbye for today. You yawned, getting ready to sleep more when someone knocked. Seconds later Jungwoo slipped into the room. “You should be sleeping.” He whispered when he saw you looking at him. You rolled your eyes. “Does that mean you would have just sat down and stared at me if I did?” It seemed a bit creepy to you to hear this. Why would he be here if he expected you to sleep anyway? “Don’t roll your eyes at me right now. Do you know how scared everyone was after you fell?” Jungwoo stopped in front of your bed, giving you a slight glare. “I knew you were tired but that was not what I expected.” Unlike your manager Jungwoo actually appeared to be angry. He was still glaring slightly and that for him was weird enough because he normally wasn’t like this. “I didn’t know this would happen.” You started defending yourself. “You know how stressful promoting is and you also know I’m not a good dancer. I didn’t want to lack and make the performance bad for everyone.” You didn’t. The people who supported you deserved a great performance and therefore you had to work hard to make them see you appreciated every little bit of support. “And that’s why you decided to not sleep for almost five days and skip almost every meal? Your fans want you to be healthy not to pass out because your body just gave up. Do you understand what everyone was going through after you lost consciousness?” His tone was so harsh that tears started to spill from your eyes. You expected your management to be angry and him to be all understanding at for some reason both parties were doing the exact opposite. And you were still tired and felt weak and bad because you had dragged him into this mess. He had to be angry because of that, right? “I’m sorry that you are part of this.” You whimpered. “I didn’t want to put you in a bad light and start rumours, I’m sorry Jungwoo.” His eyes widened at that. “You think I’m angry because they think we are dating?” He questioned and you nodded. He had to be, right? His company probably had some harsh words for him afterwards. “They can think were dating all they want, that’s not what I care about. I don’t regret anything I did after it happened. You are my best friend and that gives me every reason to care for you.” He took a few steps closer and grabbed you hand. “I’m mad because you were not taking care of yourself. And not just the ‘forgot to eat breakfast’-type. You were so absorbed in trying to be perfect that you forgot to eat and sleep. I know a lot of people praised you for being better and for being able to follow the choreography so well, even though it is really fast but not at this cost.” He sat down next to you while speaking. His tone was a lot gentler than before and so was his expression. It was back to the Jungwoo they knew. The soft, cuddly, caring Jungwoo that you liked, not the one who made you cry just a few minutes ago. “Move over.” He pushed your leg gently. You were confused but you did what he told you, scooting over in your bed. “We always used to cuddle, when you were crying, remember?” Before you could do anything to stop him he had climbed into bed next to you and wrapped his arms tightly around your body. He was right. You used to cuddle whenever one of you was sad but that was before any of you debuted. Now anyone could come in and see this. “We’re already in trouble because of dating rumours if someone sees this it will only get worse.” You tried to stop him but your best friend didn’t budge. “I don’t care, they can think whatever they want.” He mumbled, pressing his head into your shoulder. “I’m not pulling on that needle in your arm, right?” You shook your head, lifting your arm to show him. He didn’t bother raising his head so it was kind of useless. “But what if you get scolded by your company?” Jungwoo responded with a scoff. “They’ve been through worse than this.” His voice came out muffled. “None of us had a bad reputation previously and a lot of people wrote positive comments about me carrying you of stage so they saw it as more of a ‘positive scandal’ and didn’t stress too much about it.” He reached out pulling his phone out his pocket, unlocked it and tapped a few times before holding it in front of your face. A video that someone had taken during your performance. It started during the middle of the first chorus which meant the person had started to film just seconds before you fainted. And you were right. Suddenly there was a collective scream heard and you saw yourself sinking to the floor. The music continued playing as the rest of your group surrounded you, trying to figure out what had happened. Then you saw Jungwoo rushing onto the stage and grabbing your wrist carefully, before taking of his jacket, tying it around your waist and lifting you up. It ended after he had carried you backstage, Eunjung holding your hand and following him. It was weird seeing yourself like that. To be honest you always felt weird when watching videos of yourself but this one was a new kind. “Thank you for taking care of me.” You spoke into the silence after it had ended. Neither one of you had spoken for a minute or two. You had needed that time to process everything you just saw. “Read the comments.” Was all he said, watching you while you scrolled down, reading what people had written about it. There were a whole bunch of people who were concerned, asking if you had gotten sick or accusing your company of overworking you. A few who cursed out either Jungwoo or you and told you to stay away from each other. And a lot who wrote that they were shipping it, leaving uplifting messages and wrote how amazing he was for being so fast and taking care of you and how he was ‘boyfriend material’ and that they hoped that you and he were dating but even if you would turn out to be just friends it would be an amazing friendship. “You don’t need to worry about it.” He mumbled. “The majority of our fans seem to support us. And people knew we were close friends before and supported us and now they still do so.” No matter what he said you still felt shitty. You had gotten your company, your members, your manager and him in trouble. “Please don’t ever do stuff like that again.” Jungwoo looked at your face while speaking. His gaze was intense enough for you to blush a little. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice. “I know you’re not confident in your looks and dancing but please don’t push yourself like that again.” He really had no clue what he was doing to you. Not a single clue. At least you thought. “I don’t like seeing you like this. It hurts.” You felt your heart skip a beat at that confession. Like he was saying it in a way that meant he liked you more than just a friend. Or you were interpreting to much into it. “Why do you worry so much?” You asked without even thinking about it. Jungwoos behaviour towards you today was different from usually. And it couldn’t just be because you fainted. He didn’t get worried to the point where he was angry. Because Jungwoo didn’t get angry. “Because I care!” He rose up further. “You’re one of the few people that I need in my life. Whenever it's to lively and loud in the dorm I know that I can call you and we can meet up at the river. I know that you will tell me when I behave like an idiot and that I can tell you if I worry or think about something a lot. But there is one thing I might have kept one thing away from you.” “What?” You asked. It was surprising. Jungwoo and you didn’t keep secrets from each other. No matter how embarrassing or dumb they were. “It’s easier to show you.” “Oh god, you got a tattoo, right?” Jungwoo laughed and shook his head. “No, that’s not it.” He grinned, inching a little closer. “Don’t move, okay?” A nod from you. If he asked you to you wouldn’t. “Can you close your eyes?” Another nod. You fully trusted him. And he wouldn’t do something stupid. The next thing you felt were soft lips moving against you own. A hand that tangled into your hair. And butterflies that danced wildly in your tummy. You had always felt happy and giddy whenever Jungwoo was around but this was a new kind. His kiss was gently. Just like his personality. “I like you, [y.n].” His lips brushed against your cheek. “I like you so damn much. That’s a reason why I worry so much about you. I know it is going to be hard and that we are going to have to hide it for a long time probably but I am willing to do this for us.” He was right. You had seen how much damage and trouble relationships could cause for young groups. You would have to hide it for years probably before you could tell anyone. But just like him you were willing to do this. “I like you too.” Both of you giggled. It helped a lot with the nervousness. Giggling always helps when you nervous. “And I want to try it.” You knew you were putting a lot at risk. But you deemed it worth it. Jungwoo was worth it.

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