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flamediel · 3 years

Text

About me

ok, so I figure it was finally time for me to make one of these since i’ve been here for a bit and I hate how disorganized tumblr is. Hi, I’m Nadia, I’m 19, and this is my CNCO blog. I’m a mixed black muslim bisexual who uses they/them pronouns and I’m studying law. Other random facts about me are I box, make my own clothes, paddleboard, and love dogs. My aesthetic is all over the place and so is my brain so while typing this out i decided to make a moodboard that’s ✨my aesthetic✨ so here lol:

Was that necessary? no. did I do it anyway? yes. Moving on..

so what will you find on this blog?

Primarily, CNCO. This is a side blog so I tend to stay pretty on brand with the content I post. I tend to answer asks here, be it about fandom tea or random stuff relating to the boys, but when inspiration strikes I’ll write fics, make moodboards, or even pull together random uquizzes and zodiac interpretations no one asked for. I host a lot of events on here too like to celebrate their albums or band anniversaries, so stay tuned for that as well. As you can see we do a little bit of everything here, so feel free to stop by for a chat whenever.

Where can I find your writing?

All my fics can be found under the ‘#my writing’ tag on my blog, so check them out there! anything tagged minors dni (or cnco smut for older posts) is 18+

What writing do you have coming up?

Chris sex tape smut

Boxdiel smut

Sub!Richard Smut

Zabdiel + Power Play

The boys while you’re pregnant (Minus Chris since it’s already up)

Richard pampering you

a ton of songfics I have half finished

And if you want anything else, I am taking requests! Keep in mind they may take a while though, I tend to write when inspired and I haven’t had the time at all lately with work. Also, if you remember requesting something that isn’t here, it’s because I likely haven’t gotten to starting it. once I do, I’ll add it here.

Where can I find your moodboards?

These will be under the ‘#cnco moodboard’ tag on my blog! Requests for moodboards are open (and will probably be fulfilled MUCH more quickly).

UQuizzes?

Which CNCO member are you?

Which CNCO hookup are you?

Where are your CNCO Zodiac interpretations?

I’m only doing full chart readings for the boys once we get their birth times, since I don’t like how inaccurate readings can be without houses and such (ie, Chris’s Sagittarius energy doesn’t make sense until you realize it’s all in the fourth house). That means I’ll be analyzing Joel and then Chris’s birth charts in detail for now, and when we get the rest of the info I may do the others’. This is gonna take a while since these are long and take a ton of research, sorry about that

Joel: Part 1 (part 2 coming soon)

Chris: (TBD)

Management vs record label analysis

You've done some analyses of cncos team from a legal perspective, where are they?

Joel leaving the band timeline/contract renegotiation explanation

Who owns cncos trademark

Why are some of your posts tagged minors dni?

Why didn’t you answer my ask?

personally, I don’t feel comfortable with minors interacting with any explicit content on my blog. I tag it that way for people to be able to blacklist these posts (including adults who don’t want to see them). I know minors look at this content anyway, I’m not dumb, but this gives them the opportunity to be responsible without me having to make this whole blog nsfw, andit also provides a clear warning. Minors I find repeatedly interacting with my NSFW posts are getting blocked. You’re violating my consent and disrespecting the rules I put in place on my blog, and I don’t want you around if you cant understand that.

my inbox is almost always full and it takes me a while to get to stuff! I will though, i promise, and if it takes a while maybe resend it since tumblr doesn’t like to work sometimes.

Why do certain anons have symbols/emojis?

It’s like a signature so I can tell which anon it is. if you want one just ask!

can you tell me about X cnco thing?

usually, yes. but also, keep in mind I don’t know everything, and most of what I say is my opinion, as with everyone else here. don’t take it too seriously please. I will also sometimes answer asks sarcastically or jokingly and entertain dumb stuff, if you have a problem w that just send smth in about that instead of fighting, no need to get disrespectful over tumblr shit I swear it’s unnecessary.

Why wont you answer dms?

I am. so so bad at checking dms. so bad. it gives me anxiety and i WILL leave people on read. honestly if you’re not my mom you should not be expecting quick replies from me. if you want to talk more and we’re mutuals, message and ask for my snap. I tend to be more active on there

Why aren’t you following me/liking my posts/in my notes?

I probably am, this is a side blog, I interact from my main @imbrium-mare

Any other important notes?

A couple. First, something light. info about me is in my ‘#about me’ tag, and if you care what i look like check the ‘#my face’ tag, I tend to delete those every now and then so you might not find anything.

Secondly, more heavy. Like most active cnco blogs, I’ve dealt with my fair share of “anon” hate. Most of the time, I can figure out who you are pretty easily. Yall aint slick at allll, and I am more than happy to expose anyone who thinks online bullying is okay. casual reminder, using racial and homophobic slurs is not cute. I will not tolerate it, you’ll be blocked. the fact people think this is ok to do over a BOYBAND of all things? tragic.

And finally, since this will now be my permanent pinned post, any events I host or new things I write will be linked in a reblog of this post and pinned, rather than pinning the actual post with it. That way this information is all still accessible. That’s it! have fun, and I hope you enjoy your time here xx

#about me #pinned post

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princesscas · 4 years

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Hi! I have a question. I haven’t been heavily involved in tumblr/social media for a while. I had stopped watching supernatural for a couple of years and just got back into it. I ship destiel, but sometimes things about wincest come up. I keep seeing things about people not wanting to “ship shame” which you just mentioned as well, and I’m just confused. How is it okay that people ship two brothers? Like they are actual brothers on the show?? I don’t care that they’re not irl. I don’t know who the N girl you’re talking about is but apparently she cares about canon, so how can she like it? And why is it wrong for people to condemn people for shipping two brothers, when that is the thing inherently wrong? Like it’s disgusting... it’s not about them being guys, it’s incest... Again, I just don’t get it and I hope I don’t come off as rude! Thank you!

Nah, you’re not rude at all! Never ever like them. I’m still upset about what happened two days ago so what the hell, tea time!

To start off, I believe that everyone can ship whatever like like as long as they aren’t sending hate to others. Take a look at this (lengthy) post about ship wars. People can ship whatever they want, end of story. Doesn’t really matter anyway because people are gonna do what they wanna do. Do I like those types of ships like you described above? No, but it’s none of my business to tell others what they can and cannot ship. Sometimes I read darkfics. That isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Is the post/fanfic properly tagged with such elements? Then it’s fine. Start hyjacking posts/leaving nasty comments? That’s 1000% not fine and it never will be.

Something that doesn’t get brought up enough: There is a vast difference between an ordinary w//cest shipper and a J-two-squared tinhatter who believes the said two actors are secretly gay, their wives are beards, they hate mish, everyone who doesn’t like w//cest are wrong, etc.

Now, it’s on the shipper if they start normalizing such things. (in//st, unhealthy, etc) And the rabid obsessed (N&Co) hate-everything-that-breathes crew is a prime example of this.

This thing is already long so why not throw out some receipts, huh? IMO, you cross that ‘ship whatever you want’ line when you do this:

...I ship an angel and a human my dude. (and two 100 yr old super soldiers, I wonder what they think about stucky lol) also jesus christ the rest of that is a mess.

/tw: biphobia here./ REAL bisexuals? “oh you aren’t bisexual if you like one angel and a hunter.” And they’re obsessed with calling everyone ‘teenager girls.’ This is not only wrong but also pretty damn transphobic and misogynistic. 1) Most people have aged over the years (wow that’s crazy right?) 2) trans, nonbinary, and gender fluid people exist.

Overall, these people are a horrible bunch. They’re obsessed with preaching to people about ‘tagging properly’ when they could take it upon themselves and use a blacklisting extension. Or just block every single blog they don’t like. These people are a very small portion of the fandom but they’re loud, they want you to think they make up all of the fandom but they don’t. Not even close, when other in general posts gets thousands of notes/retweets and theirs get maybe a couple hundred. (and a lot are from reblogs for replies)

Not gonna lie, I feel the need to defend w//cest shippers because I’ve known/have/had mutuals who do ship it and they’re nice as can be.

The loud bunch are so loud, it silences the others who partaking in normal fandom things. Or really, if I were them, I wouldn’t want to associate myself with those people.

Let’s pretend for a second. Imagine if you loved a ship (it could be any ship from any fandom) but the fandom is toxic as hell and the most ‘popular/well known’ blogs/artists/writers are these people. Fandom corners have history on the way they were built upon throughout the course of the fandom’s media.

You browse the tags, the blogs, the fanfics, and find yourself staring at a hateful group of cult-like bigoted people. But wait. These people? They don’t like fanfiction or fanon. No, they hate anyone who writes anything outside of textbook canon. Any characters outside of SW/DW/JW won’t be present. (if you’re curious or are brave enough, go look at the AO3 tag, it’s sad)

I try to be empathetic with people. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine what it’s like. To love a show so much with your favorite ship but one part dislikes it and another part are so inherently hateful.

The OP deleted but this thread on Reddit is exactly what I’m talking about. And they mentioned something else I think not many people bring up: OT3′s.

I’m gonna quote this but it’s 1000% true.

“What I can't for the life of me understand though is why people would hate on Misha as an actor because of his role on the show. I've seen a lot of Misha hatred - and I mean A LOT of it. In fact, I recently went through the anti-misha tag on tumblr and blocked over 200 tumblr accounts that either were dedicated to bashing him or castiel, or posted constantly about it.”

“It's really nuts to me that people would choose to put so much time and effort into hating an actor who hasn't done anything to them personally or hasn't even affected their lives, when they could be putting good feelings into praising the actors who have affected their lives in a good way instead if you feel me.”

Constantly is the key word here. I don’t think these people ever stop, not even for one second, to sit down and say, “God this is exhausting, I think I need a break this week.” I really dislike these people but I also feel empathetic for them. What is their mental health like? It isn’t healthy. Go show a therapist this, they’d probably quit on the spot. (okay prob not but that’s my best example atm)

This has gotten extremely long so I think I’ll stop here. There are some nice people out there who will ship things you don’t like but a toxic side can make it seem much worse than it actually is. Ironically, it’s usually the opposite. (ie: voltron’s’s toxic side scaring off other shippers of that fandom)

Lemme end this with pre!serum smol Steve and his legendary quote:

#i just try to be nice man #i need to go finish my fanfc instead of talking about this lol #fandom things #mandy answers anon #drama for ts #anti bibros #anti bronlies #Anonymous #tw wincest #tw incest

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hermannsthumb · 5 years

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ok trying this again lol hopefully tumblr doesn't eat my message but i saw where you reblogged that halloween prompts last night and wanted to request "strangers who hooked up at a party while in costume but tbh i might be in love with you so i’m gonna walk this earth looking for the right woodland nymph" for newmann. the thought of hermann dressed as a woodland nymph is CUTE!! thank you, maria

from list of halloween prompts here

HEHE this one took me a while bc i’ve been slammed with a cold the past few days thats made me want to do nothing but like. lie in bed. HERE YOU GO ENJOY

———————————————

“Sexy fairy, huh?” Newt says.

The dude leaning against the wall lowers his drink and frowns. “Pardon?”

“Shit,” Newt says. “Hang on. Sorry.” He pulls out his plastic fangs and works his jaw a few times, then settles right back into his most charming smile. “I said sexy fairy, huh?”

“Oh,” the dude says. He looks down at himself–the illfitting white tunic, the tacky fake vines glued to it, his sandals (socks with sandals, actually, wow)–and gives a self-conscious tug at the equally tacky flower crown atop his head. He’s a real hottie. Big brown eyes, dark eyelashes, cheekbones–definitely Newt’s type. He’s surprised that no one else dove in to chat him up first. “I think it’s meant to be a nymph, actually. I bought it at the costume shop on the way here.”

He’s all posh and English. Newt wasn’t expecting that, but he thinks he can dig it. He leers. “So the sexy is all you, then?”

The nymph’s frown only deepens. “What do you mean?”

“I mean–” Newt sighs. “I was calling you sexy.”

“Oh,” the nymph says again. “Er. Thank you.”

They slip into uncomfortable silence. (Way to go, Newt. Struck out already.) “Are you here alone?” Newt tries again.

It’s the wrong thing to ask: the nymph makes a face and takes a long sip of his drink. (Purple, with weird foam on top, probably whatever’s sitting in the punchbowl marked Witch’s Brew.) “Yes,” he says. “I came with my date, but he–ah–”

His eyes drift to a guy in a semi-matching costume on the dance floor, who’s currently bumping up against some hunk dressed as a sexy pirate.“Ditched you?” Newt says.

The nymph makes a non-committed sound. His hand tightens around the head of his cane (which he’s also wound fake vines around–Newt appreciates the creativity). “I didn’t want to dance,” he says, and then it’s his turn to sigh. “We only met a week ago, on some moronic–dating app my sister insisted I try. I should’ve known he’d…”

That won’t do; Newt was trying to get the guy’s number, not send him spiraling into moodiness. “Hey, I’m here alone, too,” Newt says. “All alone.” He doesn’t even know the host–it’s one of Tendo’s exes, he thinks, who he may or may not have gotten sushi with one time years ago but never bothered unfriending on Facebook.

“Mm,” the nymph says. He gives Newt a long once-over. Newt wishes that he’d planned better, and worn something a little sexier than just standard vampire. (Like sexy pirate; the guy the nymph’s date latched onto instead had the right idea.) As is, he’s probably only passably sexy: his pants are tight enough, and his shirt is open enough, and he has enough glitter in his hair (because it’s fun) to light up like a fucking disco ball in the light. “I suppose you’re going to ask me for my mobile number now. Or offer to get me a drink, despite the fact that I clearly already have one.”

Newt grins goofily. “That was the plan.”

He get another long, considering stare. Then the nymph sets his drink down and clasps his free hand around Newt’s wrist. “Follow me,” he says.

“Cool,” Newt says. “Uh, are we going to the kitchen? I think it’s–”

They’re not going to the kitchen: they’re going to an empty broom closet. Newt can appreciate a forward-thinking man who knows what he wants.

“You ought to know,” the nymph gasps, tangling his fingers in Newt’s hair, “I don’t really do these sorts of things.”

“Really?” Newt says. He grins up at him, face inches from the guy’s stupid tighty-whiteys. “’Cause I do. You want me to put my fangs back in?”

“No. Ah–!”

***************************

Newt wakes up with a hangover (predictable), his phone buzzing off the side table with his alarm (annoying), and the strangest sensation that he met the love of his life last night (unexpected). The sensation is only amplified when he picks up his phone and sees that he’s, apparently, sent no less than five texts to his dad about it (his fucking dad, of all people, Newt needs some friends), but it quickly turns to dread when he sees the mess that is his poor forearm.

(“I’ve got a spot right here,” Newt slurred. After mutually-reciprocated hijinks in the closet, he and the nymph–who had told him his name at one point, Newt was sure, he just totally forgot–proceeded to get totally smashed off whatever the fuck Witch’s Brew was and then make out in the corner until Newt finally reminded him that he still wanted his phone number. The nymph was game. He was less game when Newt showed him where to write it in bold black Magic Marker one he rucked up his sleeve: his right forearm, between his jellyfish tattoo and his Godzilla tattoo, on a small patch of empty, freckled skin.

“Cute,” the nymph said, wryly.

He said it in a way that made it clear he didn’t think Newt’s tats were actually very cute. “I like them,” Newt said.

“Can’t I just–” the nymph was struggling with the marker, “–put it right in your, ah, phone?”

“This is more fun,” Newt said.”)

The number is nothing more than a smeary mess now–probably casualty to the massive rainstorm raging outside that, if Newt’s soaked pile of clothing on the floor means anything, has been raging since he stumbled home last night.

He can’t even remember the guy’s name.

SOS, he ends up texting Tendo after a healthy amount of coffee and Tylenol. hooked up with super hot guy at a party last night and have no fucking clue how to see him again and i think i might be in love. help

you’re almost forty, Tendo replies, which is no help and isn’t at all the sick burn Tendo probably thought it was.

Newt resorts to stalking Tendo’s ex’s Facebook page instead. For anything, really. There are only a few photos up from the party last night (so far, anyway), and most of them are focused on the dance floor and the guy’s friends. Newt clicks through obsessively anyway. The ornate Jack-O-Lanterns that’d been on the front porch, Tendo’s ex and some chick in zombie makeup, the punchbowl of foaming purple Witch’s Brew, and–finally, in the very back corner of a shot–Newt standing with his mystery man. Tacky crown and all. He exists, at least, not some extremely specific hallucination on Newt’s part, even though a reverse image search turns up with absolutely nothing but links to buy his costume.

He has better luck with a blurry photo of his mystery guy’s (deadbeat) date laughing in the kitchen under the bright orange string lights: Tendo’s ex actually tagged him. Probably because he wasn’t totally crashing the party after seeing a post about it like Newt was. Newt’s luck pretty much stops there; not only does the guy make no mention of the nymph Newt spent the night with when Newt stalks his page, but he hasn’t updated his status in literally six months, and none of his friends (because Newt combs through his friends list, too) look remotely like Newt’s mystery man.

So. Newt sends him a friend request.

He accepts it in the amount of time it takes Newt to take to feed his fish, heat up a tiny bowl of spaghetti-o’s, and regret sending it in the first place; he almost spills the bowl over his laptop in his hurry to send a message. Hey, weird question, but who’d you bring to that party last night?

lol why?

“I’m in love with him” is definitely a little forward, so Newt makes up a fast, and hopefully at least mildly believable, lie. He has my umbrella.

Typing for a while. tbh idrk him, we met online. his name was hermann

Then: i think hes a teacher or something

who are you anyway? comes a second later.

Hermann. Newt likes it. It also rings a very, very vague bell. cool thanks! Newt sends back, and then quickly unfriends the guy. Anyone who could possibly ditch a guy as hot and funny and, overall, perfect as Hermann (as Newt remembers him, anyway) is not worth Newt’s time.

exciting update, he texts Tendo. his name is Hermann!

Newt has a lecture to teach at six, three hours from now, so in lieu of actually preparing for it, he decides to be a creepy stalker instead. Hermann’s date said he was a teacher: none of the local public schools have a Hermann (or a Herman, for that matter) on any of their staff pages, K all the way up to Twelve, nor do the private schools. He has better luck when he pokes through staff directories for nearby universities instead: this gives him two Hermans and one Hermann, but neither of their provided pictures look remotely like Newt’s Hermann. Not even when Newt squints.

He spares another miserable glance at the smeary ink on his arm before shutting his laptop. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.

He’s walking to campus from his bus stop the following week–the day before Halloween–when the most fucking unbelievable thing in the world happens.

He sees Hermann.

Just sitting outside the campus coffee shop at a little table, sipping a paper travel mug dotted with little orange pumpkins. Reading over some notes. Newt’s sure it’s Hermann: it’s Hermann’s big brown eyes, Hermann’s long eyelashes, Hermann’s sharp cheekbones, Hermann’s cane propped against the brick wall next to him. Newt’d recognize him even with the stupid nymph costume swapped for more sensible sweatervest and tweed. “Hermann!” he shouts excitedly, waving both arms. “Dude!”

Hermann looks up. He drops his coffee.

He’s completely speechless when Newt finally manages to book it across the street (dodging traffic, including the bus he came in on) and collapse, panting, into the empty seat across from him. “I can’t believe it’s you!” Newt says. “Holy shit, dude! I’ve been trying like crazy to track you down. I lost your number, so I had to message your shitty boyfriend–”

“Not my boyfriend,” Hermann says, faintly.

“Right, your shitty date,” Newt corrects. “You look so good. I almost didn’t recognize you without all the leaves. I’m so glad I found you. What are you doing here, anyway?”

Hermann blinks a few times. Registering it all. “I work–” He says, and gestures to the stairs that lead up to the main part of campus. “Er, here. Physics. I teach physics.”

That explains why Newt couldn’t find him on any faculty pages–he just assumed that Hermann couldn’t possibly be working at the same university as him and didn’t bother checking. He though he would’ve remembered seeing a face like that around. Physics, though, makes sense–it’s not like they’d be in the same building. “I do too!” Newt says. He leans in, beaming away. “Well, not physics, biology. I can’t remember if I told you my name or not. It’s Newt. Dr. Geiszler, if you wanna be serious, but I’m pretty sure we’re way beyond that at this point.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. “No, you didn’t say your name.” He blinks a few more times before finally seeming to get over his shock, and it’s replaced with mild amusement instead. A small smile. “You’re a doctor?”

“Are you that shocked?”

“You’re not very–” Hermann does a very bad job of disguising his laugh as a cough. “Professional. You know–at the, ah, party, you really should’ve just let me–”

“I know,” Newt says, and Hermann’s smile grows.

“Writing it on your arm was a terrible idea,” Hermann says. “I was horribly offended, you know, when you didn’t call the next day.”

Newt fishes his phone out of his pocket, unlocks it, and offers it out to Hermann with a grin. “Looks like I won’t be making the same mistake twice, then.”

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #meet cute!#newts-geiszler

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huntershowl · 4 years

Text

@alreadybrcken said:

8, 9, 31, 32

honesty meme | accepting

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

1) thank u for finally letting me rant about this because it’s been stewing in my mind since u brought it up a while ago. i hate when people are passive-aggressive toward their rp partners for not getting to their thread fast enough. DO NOT DO THIS. DO NOT DO THIS. it’s immature, it puts undue pressure on your partner in what’s supposed to be a fun hobby space, and it’s really shit behavior. PEOPLE WILL RUN THEIR BLOGS HOW THEY WANT TO RUN THEIR BLOGS. i’m never going to apologize for prioritizing the threads i’m most excited about – sometimes, i’m super into a particular verse, a particular pair, or whatever, and if that’s what’s most fun to write, that’s what’s most fun to write. so i’m gonna write it first. being passive aggressive toward someone is not going to make your threads suddenly more fun to write. it’s just going to make them force out a halfhearted reply because they’re nervous or feel obligated, instead of shelving it for when they’re actually feeling the thread. just. don’t do this. good lord. 2) i’ve already talked about aesthetic elitism but THAT. i absolutely understand wanting to keep to a certain aesthetic / make your blog look nice. hell, i feel you. but it becomes super obvious after a while which ones will only give a shit if your blog is also formatted the EXACT same way, just as unreadable in aesthetic. it’s a big pet peeve of mine. in general, overly inaccessible formatting – double small text, a huge and constant variety in bold, giant words, different fonts, and colors – immediately turns me off of a blog. i read a rules doc the other day and had an actual physical headache trying to do so. part of that also: I GRUMBLE ABOUT THE TINY ICON TREND SO MUCH KAJSHFKJHSF PL E A SE. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE WITH MY HORRIBLE BLIND EYES WHAT TF IS GOING ON. icons are less of a big deal tho bc i don’t have to Read Them. 3) i understand reblog karma while not practicing it myself, but i fear the growing trend of “don’t reblog anything from me, ever.” it makes me super nervous and just isn’t how i do things, or have ever done things, and in a space where i’m trying to have fun i don’t want to be looking desperately through the notes of a photo post with no desc. for the source every single time a good one pops up on the dash. so i tend not to follow if that’s a part of somebody’s rules, and it seems like it’s happening more and more often lately which makes me nervous af sjkdhfsdf.

9. What is your opinion on exclusivity? Do you practice it? Why / why not?

I DIDN’T USE TO. up until very recently, i was vehemently non-exclusive, because ... like. i’ve been on tumblr rp on and off for about seven or eight years. i’m used to my favorite partners leaving without a trace, and it breaks my heart every single time. so i tried to kind of distance myself from getting so invested in rp relationships that i’d be that upset when they inevitably leave, by keeping myself open to duplicates and remaining adaptable. but sometimes i’ll just. god. i’ll start interacting with a blog for a particular canon character and after a while, sometimes something just clicks and i don’t want to interact with other versions of that character. but even on this blog, which i’ve only had since january, i’ve already gotten burned by doing that. so i’m tentatively saying yes, i practice exclusivity, but not in an official way and not beyond a few select canon partners who i’ve got a really good and strong rp relationship with. so far you’re the only one i think? at least the only one i haven’t been afraid to slap a ‘this one’ sticker on for being exclusive. akjsdhfkf

32. Is there something you don’t know the meaning of but you haven’t asked anyone because you think it’s supposed to be general knowledge? Was there ever something you had to ask someone to explain?

honestly i’m sure there has been – most of that stuff happened wayyyyyy long ago in my first years of rp though. but as of now, i think i’m good on colloquial knowledge

WAIT NO. WHAT TF IS SESSIONBOX

Have you ever experienced discrimination?

on this blog so far? i have not. at least, not directly. if anyone’s been discriminatory towards me or hellhound for any reason, they’ve done it quietly enough that i haven’t noticed, but i’ve made sure to surround myself with good people so? if anyone tries they will get-a-Blocked.

#{ lord have mercy this got long. }#drama cw #{ not really but. just in case i guesS }#>> OUT.#negative /#{ ALSO NOT REALLY BUT I GUESS????? }#{ TIS THE NATURE OF THE MEME }#{ pour one out for the rp partners who have vanished over the years :( }

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diningpageantry · 5 years

Text

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215168/chapters/43151156

Chapter 3/10 of It’s A Handheld Disaster

Word Count: 1553

Chapter Summary: Baz takes Simon's shitpost text a step further, and the outcome ends up spreading a few rumors.

SIMON

bi-sammy: sammy would still fuck huxley if he looked like the fish from shape of water

I grin smugly at my screen, sitting in a dark room with nothing shining but my mobile. The shutters stay shut, and the light from the bottom of the doorway barely filters into the room. It’s just me, this scratchy blanket, and Baz, somewhere else in England on another screen. I absolutely adore that.

gaystrell: why would you say something so controversial yet so brave.jpg

Sometimes, I catch myself smiling. Other times, I elect to ignore how real it feels. It’s weird, given that it feels like I’m just chatting with someone who I see everyday. The casualness of this reminds me of texting Penny in the afternoon on a Thursday.

Except, given the current time, it could be interpreted as more intimate than that of a friend’s text.

8am on a Saturday is usually a time reserved for comfort. For staying warm with someone you care about. Instead, I’m just messaging Baz.

bi-sammy: because im right

bi-sammy: hear me out here ive got a brilliant idea

gaystrell: whoever taught you the definition of a brilliant idea was clearly misleading you

bi-sammy: dont be an arse until youve heard it

bi-sammy: wanker

gaystrell: you’re truly proving your point

bi-sammy: ANYWAY

bi-sammy: shape of water au

bi-sammy: thats all

gaystrell: i’m appalled.

gaystrell: hold on.

I don’t think much of it. Occasionally, he disappears for an hour to two. I don’t bother asking, assuming it’s none of my business, but I do tend to worry a bit. I hope he’s alright.

After clicking off my phone, my head settles against my pillow as my eyes fall shut.

There’s something about this. There’s something about him. It’s a bit hard to pinpoint what it is, but the overwhelming feeling of comfort I have in the notifications I get from him just answering my bullshit is incredibly welcomed. He’s semisweet. I don’t know why I didn’t see it earlier, but he’s a fantastically bitter person.

My head slowly turns over, eyes opening and straining in the darkness.

I hate my empty room.

I hate the absence of comfort--I hate the plainness of these walls.

I want to say I hate my foster dad, but I also feel like I’m not allowed to say that. Not because the system will take me again and throw me back (even though I could have left a year back, if I was still in it). Instead, I feel like I shouldn’t hate him. Theoretically, I should be thankful for what I have. I’m not in a boy’s home, and I haven’t been since I was 11, but the remnants remain. The fights don’t go away, and neither do the weeks of starvation.

Still, I sort of despise living here under Davy.

That’s what he makes me call him. His name. His nickname. Not dad; of course not dad. He’s had me in his care for roughly six years, but he’s still Davy to me.

Shitty fucking Davy, with his strict curfews and practically using me as a housemaid because he’s too cheap to care for himself.

Shitty fucking Davy, not letting me add anything to my room because the day I turn 18, I’m out of here until his next kid (and cheque, apparently) come in. Told me I’d wreck the walls and ruin his furniture if I did put anything on it, too.

So that’s what I’ve got. Blank walls, blank furniture, blank everything. It’s like a jail cell for a bedroom, and everything I’ve got to show for myself is in a backpack and two dresser drawers/

But, at least, I own my mobile.

Every summer job, mixed with odds and ends shit and whatever I can do for my bill. It’s all mine, and Davy can’t fucking touch it.

Maybe that’s why, when I feel it buzz against my chest, it makes me feel more alive. It’s a reminder of all that work just to be able to talk to someone freely.

Arguably, the best feeling in the goddamn world.

I grab it and flip it over. It’s just an email about uni.

Fuck.

I end up scrolling through tumblr for a little while, doing nothing but liking and reblogging a thing here or there. It takes a little while before a little drop down falls from the top of my screen.

gaystrell: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1r7Wkwj7MSFk0--DgquHGhYVBbqneEYq0J01t0uMRmxA/edit?usp=sharing

gaystrell: feel the need to apologize before you click the link, but then again, you asked for this hell

When I click on it, it pulls up a doc titled just “crackfic”, and I’m floored with the first sentence alone.

“Fuck my fish ass harder, daddy.”

My hand flies up, covering my mouth as I practically wheeze as quietly as possible. A few paragraphs in and I’m nearly crying into my palm, muffling my laughter as I read through pages upon pages of the most ridiculous fic I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.

I check the word count out of pure curiosity, and it somehow makes me laugh harder.

bi-sammy: holy fucking shit

bi-sammy: i swear to god if you don’t post that i will

gaystrell: already in the process of making the archive post

gaystrell: i seriously believe you underestimate my sincere ability to be the biggest dick on the street

bi-sammy: i dont know whether or not u meant that as ur literal dick or the big dick energy in making that a post but id probably agree with you in both

bi-sammy: tag me in the post pls i want to be the first to reblog it

gaystrell: you’re a ridiculous, sad, little man

gaystrell: of course i’ll tag you

Within minutes, it’s uploaded with the absolute worst slew of Archive tags attached to it, and as soon as he tags me in his post, I tap the notification.

Scales, Fins, and other Fishy Daydreams

Word Count: 3,192

Summary: Fish!Huxley and Sam get it on Shape of Water style

@bi-sammy this is your fault (you're welcome)

I immediately slam like and pull up reblog, rapidly typing out my response before posting.

absolute madman. cant believe youve done this. i trust you with my entire life.

As usual, he's quick to reblog back.

anything for the absolute pain in my life x

Smiling shamelessly, I ride on the moment's high as our conversation stays out in the world. I quite enjoy this version of his softness. The public, taunting replies to mine. In all this time of following him, I can't really recall him ever being this friendly with anyone but me.

Makes me feel special. Maybe too much so.

BAZ

The jarring shock of the seemingly endless notifications rattles me momentarily speechless.

It isn't even 15 minutes after I'd replied to Snow and there's already a few people reblogging it with comments about him and I. A quick “i ship y'all’ to “powermove of the century”. Each make me flush deeper as the replies flood in.

If I were to be practical, I'm aware that I shouldn't be so flustered over the concept of us being a couple. It's most likely my overactive, sad, lonely imagination, but the idea of being loved just makes me blush. Especially since it's someone who doesn't seem to absolutely loathe me.

gaystrell: are you reading these?

bi-sammy: the what?

bi-sammy: i have. nothing to read. i cant read.

gaystrell: use your two remaining brain cells look at the notes for the crackfic

bi-sammy: holy shit

bi-sammy: im cackling

A notification pops up, making me snort this time. I pull up the post and send it off to him without a second thought.

gaystrell: sent a post

gaystrell: “sounds like something huxley would do for sam”

bi-sammy: stop im gonna piss myself shits too fucking funny

I pull it back up, scrolling down to reblog and adding a quick reply that, in all honesty, I should have thought out more. Secretly, part of me is glad that I sent it.

huxley wishes he was this smooth ;)

Within seconds, replies flood in from everywhere. From jokes about Snow and I possibly dating to the concept of Huxley writing (purposefully) shitty homoerotica about himself as a fishman. I quite like the conversation about the latter, while the former makes my chest knot in ways inexplicable.

Going through the notes makes me smile, even if it's mildly embarrassing. The amount of times I've seen the eyes emoji used is definitely excessive, but still somewhat welcomed.

Even my archive has a few comments already, although more based around the fic itself. More ironically, though, is the one person who probably took it seriously and just commented, “Nice fic!” I love the abundance of shameless appreciation for obscure fanfiction in the depths of this community.

Snow's messages roll down my mobile screen as I'm checking the comments, continuously replacing the previous message for the top slot.

bi-sammy: mate

bi-sammy: i love you

bi-sammy: also every time you reblog something of mine i get like 5 followers

bi-sammy: if you mention me i get 10

bi-sammy: youre???????????? a god????????

bi-sammy: can i marry you????????????

I slowly close my laptop, eyes on my phone with an absolutely gleeful grin.

gaystrell: when and where?

#carry on #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #mine #it's a handheld disaster #snowbaz #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm-pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #baz pitch #simon #baz

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nikatyler · 5 years

Photo

Technically I still want to stay on a break but also...yesterday was the worst and I basically needed to come back here to feel better. Did it help? Not really, but fuck real life, who needs it anyway, ya know? Sims are never gonna give me up, never gonna let me down, all that good stuff.

God, what a mood. I should shut up. Instead I’m gonna do the replies, yay!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “Screenshot Folder I did something very unlike me this week: I deleted...”

Must resist the urge to grab and edit all the Sammy shots ��

Go for it!

Side note, yesterday I added so many new screenshots to the folder. Some of them are really old and no one would ever possibly go and think “this one screenshot with really bad lighting? yup, gonna edit that one”. Unedited screenshots folder? More like a literal archive because simmeronnie is a freak for keeping things organized and in one place

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “Yeah sure. Into the fire!”

That seems healthy. lolol

He scares me, to be honest. He looks like he’s the gift from heavens but I have a feeling he’s the exact opposite

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Dad, guess what I want for my birthday.” Ross: “A dog. I’ve...”

Maybe there's hope for him yet!

Yes! He’s slowly but surely getting better. Kind of. We can’t call it a redemption arc but he’s getting better for sure.

green-productivitea replied to your photoset “One day, you’ll go to space, Sunset. I know you will. Keep dreaming...”

Oh, i'm melting

I’m weak for all the moments he shows he cares for her tbh

simlovinggirl replied to your post “tumblr you fucked up, just saying in case no one has told you yet I’ve...”

i just saw this too, i just requested like 50 posts from like 3 different stories, so we'll see how effed up my blog is now. Sorry your having issues too :(

elisabettasims replied to your post “tumblr you fucked up, just saying in case no one has told you yet I’ve...”

Almost nobody remembers when this happened before. It got straightened out but I had so many posts marked sensitive then. As, usual, they went too far. Also the new guidelines have gone too far, too.

Here’s a few things I remember getting flagged:

Sunset. Loads of posts with Sunset in it. Rude. What has she ever done to you, tumblr?

Ross and Valentine teasing each other (well, actually it was Valentine teasing Ross but still)

Why create this “female-presenting nipples” nonsense when the algorithm can’t tell so called female-presenting and male-presenting nipples apart

Basically sims in swimsuits are a big no

Sims travelling around the world? Sorry Ezra and Carrie, it’s dirty :/

Gen 2 of Raven Legacy was sooooo nsfw y’all. Maaaany posts were flagged

For some reason the algorithm doesn’t like Zoey??

My gen 4 pose dump got flagged as well

I have like two posts with sims kissing in bed in their underwear (Tyler and Sharon in the extras tag and then Miracle and Adam in the legacy) and they both were flagged DESPITE THE LACK OF FEMALE-PRESENTING NIPPLES YOU STUPID ALGORITHM THE GIRLS HAD BRAS FFS

Sorry that was aggressive. Wow.

The bras were really nice by the way. My bras are ugly compared to theirs

Did someone say big mood?

Also since it apparently picks the posts by colour as well, posts with a lot of orange/yellow/pink in them were often flagged as well

Surprisingly, only my posts from 2017 and 2018 were affected. The super super old stuff from 2016 wasn’t flagged at all.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Marika: “You’re still as stupid as I remember you.” Ross: “I’m stupid?...”

Oh fuck /off/, Marika

Me whenever I see her in the game

Also, fun fact, all of Ross’s lovers got married by MCCC later. Marika was the only one who remained single. Guess Ross has to pass up that “the Worst” title to her, huh?

jackssims replied to your photoset “Marika: “Anyway…how is my daughter? She’s going to be thirteen, isn’t...”

That ship has sailed? You just straight up left her? Bye ��

Y E S

I want to say something else but spoiler alert, those would be the exact same words Sunset says later, so I’ll just shut up here. Wait for Sunset to say it in a few weeks.

kupari replied to your photoset “Ross: “She has a family. This conversation is over.” Marika: “You...”

I'm glad I'm not the only Marika around heh

It’s a pretty name! Also I’m sorry that my Marika is a bit of a bitch D:

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “I don’t go upstairs to December and Kieran’s bedroom anymore…and this...”

LOL

I’m editing them out of the holiday for sure. They freak me out.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “I should’ve told her about Marika, I know…but I just couldn’t do it....”

Eh, in this case, I don't think waiting a day or two will hurt.

I mean yeah, it took her years to change her mind too.

dandylion240 replied to your post “Not leaving, might be taking a break”

I agree its not the same right now. I think everyone is just waiting to see what happens.

elisabettasims replied to your post “Not leaving, might be taking a break”

I had to turn off seeing reblogs to get some peace from the anxiety and, frankly, dramatics coming out of this. LOL

I feel like things have calmed down a little bit? Which means I guess I can come back but also, I still have a lot of homework and it would really be for the best if I stayed away...but let’s be real I don’t have the willpower to stay away.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Wait nevermind…are you okay??”

I don’t wanna put the 👀 emoji bc he could just be legitimately sick, but I’m gonna go with the 👀 emoji anyway

👀

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Caleb: My daughter has a girlfriend. That’s…that’s…I’m happy for her...”

Like any other mature, centuries old adult. You be happy for her.

He is gonna be happy once he’s over the surprise lol. He’s just too shocked to think straight right now.

jackssims replied to your photoset “I failed to get a good screenshot so here’s Sunset looking pretty much...”

Oh god what a mood

Me last year during my birthday party when I realized all my relatives had given me money to get a driving license when I’m in fact terrified of driving (to this day I still don’t have a driving license and I’m not planning on getting it unless I really have to get it)

Me this year...oh wait I’m not having a birthday party with my family this year, nice. And the only thing that was close to a birthday party got cancelled because my friend bailed on me. Really nice I love my life

stfu ron stop being so bitter literally no one cares

jackssims replied to your photoset “Lilith: “I’m surprised you finally decided to show up. What brings you...”

👀

👀 the only acceptable emoji when it comes to this generation

idk what I just tried to tell by that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#replies #alfalfalegacy #simlovinggirl #dandylion240 #green-productivitea #elisabettasims #jackssims #kupari

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moonraccoon-exe · 5 years

Note

Ok tumblr is messing around with me now and I have no idea if the first message sent but I read all my tags and I really do love seeing yours on my art

LISTEN. ARTIST.

I TRIED.

BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE’S A TAG LIMIT ON TUMBLR OF ONLY 30 TAGS.

HOW DO YOU. HOW. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WRITE EVERY THOUGHT AND IMPRESSION I HAVE OF YOUR…YOUR….BREATHTAKING. BEAUTIFUL. MAJESTIC. ABSURDLY GORGEOUS AND INSANELY STUNNING ART.

IN ONLY 30 TAGS?!?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!

*sHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK*

I would add here the gif of the bird SCREECHING but I don’t want to scare or spam you aklsjdfkladjglakdjaldkj

OKAY. LISTEN. I’M GOING TO CALM DOWN BEFORE BECAUSE…IT’S NOT. I MEAN IT’S NOT EVERY DAY THAT YOU GET SENT AN ASK FROM A

S T A R

AKLSDJFLKDAJGLKDAJFDALKGJALKGAD

(Imma- Imma go on under the keep reading, yes? I just, I just DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH TAG SPACE, I WANT TO KEEP GOING HERE)

Okay, oKAY, I want to freak out because HOLY FUCKING SHIT, IT’S AN ARTIST THAT GETS THOUSANDS OF NOTES PER ARTWORK, IT’S THE GENIUS BEHIND THE PROMPTO AND NOCTIS QUOTING MEWTWO COMIC, THIS IS A SUPERSTAR, FAMOUS DIVINE ARTIST WITH ANGEL HANDS THAT DRAW PHENOMENAL ART, IN MY GARBAGE LANDS AND TALKING TO ME, I’M FREAKING OUT, EVERYBODY CALM DOWN

But I’m gonna try to STAY STILL AND KEEP IT COOL, because I don’t want to creep you out and to keep this relatively in order instead of making THE MESS OF A 3-PAGES LONG RANT OF YELLING AND SCREAMING BECAUSE HOH MY GOD YOU’RE TALKING TO ME AKLSDJLAKDJGADLKGJDA I DIE

So first of all!

I’m sorry it took me so long to reply. The week’s been sorta messy and busy since friday ahah, so even though I did have time to answer to your ask, I wanted to do it only after I had added the tags. You know, just to let you know that I did. And…to not give you more work or so you don’t browse through your thousands of reblogs, here is the link...it’s not much, I filled my 30 tags too quick and barely started saying something, but just to let you know that I did. Heh. ;w;

Okay, I just got attacked by a sudden GIANT WAVE OF SHYNESS, but I’m still going to say the tings I have in mind and want to tell you hnhgnhg

Thank you so much for reading my tags. Thank you immensely for taking the time to do that, really. I know how Tumblr can be so deadly quiet, and how most of the people who reblog (IF they reblog) put nothing in the tags, a few tag general stuff, and there’s only comments in 1 or 2 reblogs. I say this not to credit myself, it’s not that. It’s just that, with the quantity of reblogs you get, and you saying that you check them ALL out…well, thank you.

I know it can be tiringto check reblog after reblog and see nothing over and over again. Anyone else would just give up and stop checking because no one says anything. So thank you for taking the time to check not just my tags, but everyone else’s, despite it not always turning as you may wish ;w;

Also, thank you so much for taking the time to write to me. You didn’t need to. It’s too much of me to ask from artists to tell me if they want me to add comments or not. It even sounds rude, “YOU contact me if you want to know what I think about your art”. Gee. It can come off as rude and not right…but I think you understood me. And for that I’m immensely grateful.

Thank you for reading my tags, and thank you even more for dropping by to tell me you did. For each 7 artworks I reblog asking if they’re seeing the tags, 1 replies. In this case, it was you. and I’m so hyped about it, you have no idea. Thank you so much

Aaah, also, no other ask of yours made it in. This is the only one I had, so no worries. And even if a million had made it in, no worries! It’s so insane that you took the time to write to me once, AND stayed to make sure it sent? That’s so sweet of you, it really is so kind, thank you so much for worrying about that and being so attentive… ;w;

Oh no, this is getting so long, but I’d really like to say more about your art because the tags weren’t enough, seriously…I’m sorry I keep talking aksljdakldjg I’m sorry ;n;

I just wanted to let you know that that comic is brilliant. Genius in every way. Many see just the joke, which is great enough, but seriously, I looked at everything and it’s…insanely mindblowing in the most beautiful way ever. The art itself is GORGEOUS beyond anything I can say. I don’t have words enough and I lack the vocabulary to express how INSANE and stunning your art is, it’s truly…a jewel, but better and prettier.

Your artstyle is gorgeous no matter where you look at. Lineart, colors, textures, anatomy, expressions, there’s literally not a single thing that isn’t BEAUTIFUL. I’m keeping this very short because of how much I’ve written already, but seriously, your art makes my head explode because it doesn’t fit in my mortal brain. It’s so stunning, I have no way to describe it.

You’re FANTASTIC at making comics. I wouldn’t have known you need practice if you hadn’t added that in the tags. I love the flow and I think that it’s everything arranged in a very good way. I don’t know how to word it, forgive a non-native speaker ;n; But like, the way you placed everything where it is, the dialogue boxes and the characters, it all has a nice flow, and nothing looks off. I’m no artist but personally I’d say you’re AMAZING at comics

I’m in love with the expressions you drew, you have no idea. The sequence of Prompto confessing is insanely beautiful due to the load of emotion that it transmits. The joke is great, yes, but your add added it the real weight it needed and MORE. That 4 panel sequence is so GORGEOUS because it transmits and holds within all this pain, this serious sorrow, this huge weight of his identity crisis. Honestly, if you had decided to make it a drama, you’d have nailed it.

And you also nailed comedy FANTASTICALLY!! Which is insane, makin both things work out in such short lapse SUCCESSFULLY? Wow. That takes more than just “drawing pretty”.

What I mean to say is that you’re a complete, phenomenal artist. Visually and emotionally, you draw wonders. You capture emotions, you draw really beautifully, and you’re creative and everything flows.

And basically can I have an autograph aksldjdalkgjadlkgjad

I’ll keep this ask as my autograph because oh m y g o d what were the odds such a giant of an artist wote to me??? :)

SO YEH, I’M SO PROFOUNDLY SORRY AND EMBARRASSED FOR THIS RANT, I UNDERSTAND IF YOU’RE CREEPED OUT KLASJDAKLDGJDAKLGJADGKL I’M DONE I PROMISE AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

But yeh. Thank you again for taking the time to write to me. That talks very niceyly about you as a person, too… ;w;

I hope you’re having a FANTASTIC day!!

#coonreplies #nooling #coonrants

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icequeen-shiva · 6 years

Text

a follow-up of sorts to my fat girl post

i’ve had multiple people dm me about their own experiences, and i don’t want to spread myself too thin in any direction. i didn’t want to keep addressing this individually over and over again, so i thought... maybe this would be best? :\ please hear me out, and please know i mean this as kindly as i can. that’s where i want to come from with these massive thought posts. kindness, but also firmness that i owe myself.

to start out, i appreciate SO MUCH how much this has touched people. i didn’t think it would have such an impact, because i’m a small blog. when z asked me if he could reblog it, i was floored. if what i said has impacted you, i’m happy with that. i’ve received such positivity and that makes me terrified that i’m going to sound like a bitch. i really, really don’t mean to come from a bitchy place right now. please know that.

... but i don’t wanna talk about it more than i already have, and i’m sorry, but i have the right to choose that for my own mentality.

i didn’t put up that post with the intent to open myself up to conversations with strangers, acquaintances at best. i’m not saying i don’t appreciate the feedback. i am TOUCHED that it’s resonated with people, please believe me. that makes me so happy. and i’m not at all saying don’t talk to me if you want to thank me for what i said and tell me your reasons, anything like that. you can! i love knowing it’s helping! you all have such different backgrounds, but we connect on this. that’s great. i’m really, really glad if my post has helped you in some way.

but i have to say, one thing: although i understand that my wording may have definitely implied it, i don’t think i’m a worthless POS. far from it. and while i do appreciate all of you reminding me that oh, i’m beautiful, i’m not worthless, etc. .... yah, i know. and i know a LOT of other people do need those reminders and they don’t believe they’re worthy of anything. i know that maybe you need to hear those things. i know it feels like the thing to say. and thank you for the kind words, truly, but... those aren’t my words. i did finish that post saying something like “it’s no wonder i’m alone,” i totally understand WHY i’m getting these kinds of responses and again, please understand i really do appreciate your replies. i really, really do. but that’s at my worst, when i’m looking at myself physically. when i am being a bitch at myself. when i’ve had a rough day, when i’m angry, when i’m jealous. yes, i look at my body sometimes and think “that’s disgusting, why haven’t I taken the steps to change my life yet if I hate this part of me so much?” but that is a reflection on my flesh suit. that is NOT a reflection on what i think of ME, as a person, overall. frankly, i think i’m fucking fabulous. and i’m not lying. and it’s been hard as hell to get to that point, and honestly, most of the reasons it’s been so hard have NOTHING to do with my weight. my weight struggle has been the one i’ve had my entire life, and it’s the one most people identify with, but it is NOT the struggle that has shaped me the most.

and i do not have to explain that to anyone. i refuse to. i’m sorry if that strikes your curiosity, but i’m not going to talk about it.

the big reason that i don’t want to talk struggles-- fat struggles, depression struggles, life in general, whatever it may be-- is because that’s simply not what works for me, historically. i don’t enjoy it. i don’t feel better after it. i usually feel worse, and i know that’s not how it works for several people, but that’s how it works for me. i’m really, really sorry to those of you who have wanted to use this to bond with me, but i don’t... do that. i’m sorry. talking about it works well for many people i know, but it just doesn’t for me, and it works even less when i’m talking to a stranger. and i’m sorry if that sounds blunt, but that is what we are. acquaintances at best. on the internet. we connect on knowing what it’s like to be fat in this day and age. but we do not know each other, and i don’t open up to strangers more than once in a very, very long time, and i’ve met that quota with the fat post. what works for me is meditation, working on my writing, looking at stupid cat videos until i’ve laughed enough that the smile comes naturally again, sometimes i’ll look up new crochet patterns for hours, sometimes i’ll hook up the snes and play one of my favorite old games. but at heart, all of my coping mechanisms are disconnects from other people, rather than connects. i’m sorry if you want to connect as your coping mechanism, but i have to politely decline. i really, really don’t want this to sound like i’m not interested if it doesn’t benefit me too. i don’t want to be a bitch. but my prerogative is my mental health.

if talking about it even to a relative stranger helps you, then please, find someone who is comfortable doing that with you. i am not trying to shame anyone’s ways to cope. do what works for you to let out the negativity. d o i t. just don’t do it with me, is what i’m asking.

i pretty much suck at talking to people AS A WHOLE, as you may have noticed. and i feel terrible about it and like i’m going to be viewed as a bitch who ignores people, and i’m not trying to do that. even before the fat post, i’ve had many dms and i just .... i didn’t want to talk so i didn’t, and that was rude, i know. i regret it, and if i’ve ignored you, i am sorry. that was childish of me, and i know i should explain this up front and hope for the best. and it’s never been anything against the person at all, it’s always been just me wanting to chill on the internet and interact only in likes, reblogs, and replies to posts. the last few days haven’t been the best so now i want even less to talk directly one on one with people, so all of you responding to the fat post are getting a hit from that. it’s not your fault or anything you’re doing. it’s just me. i’m really sorry. i’m extremely nonsocial and 8/10 times i just DON’T want to talk. to anyone. so selfishly i let myself not talk. i don’t care if you’re my very best friend, i don’t care if you’re barack obama, i don’t care if you’re jesus, if it’s one of those 8 times then i’m gonna find a way out. “liz, why did you make a blog then? this revolves around communicating with people. you have to talk.” because i wanted a little piece of the tickling community for myself that wasn’t on a toxic garbage forum and that’s not really so much to ask.

(note: not everyone on tickling forums instead of tumblr is toxic garbage. some of them are very good people.)

anyway... please, please understand that i don’t mean any of this offensively. please, please understand you are all wonderful people and i hope you find happiness and a light in yourself. it’s not easy to like yourself. i count myself lucky that i’ve somehow learned to do that, in spite of things.

i appreciate all of you and how my words have helped you. some of you have expressed you want to become friends, and maybe in the future we will be. i’m just saying we’re gonna need more common ground than we like tickling and we’re fat and depressed. (and we need me to not be a fucking wall when people try to talk to me. i'll work on it.)

but please don’t be upset with me if and when i don’t want to have a conversation about how hard our lives have been. or a conversation at all, because i’m just not up for being social and that’s just regrettably how i’m wired at the present. i’m sorry for not addressing this better on a one on one basis. i need to learn how to do that more effectively. i hope i haven’t hurt anyone, and i’m sorry if i have. i’ll probably still be around right now reblogging and browsing the dash, but i can tell you right now that if you try and talk to me, i’ve used up my brain for the minute and i’m not in.

liz out.

#mental health #please don't think less of me #@everyone

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haljathefangirlcat · 3 years

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still thinking about that “we Have To Talk about how quips are ruining fandom by destroying meta and turning all fic into shitposts” post @ms-demeanor wrote a great rebuttal to, and about the other posts she wrote about it and about the You’re Doing Fandom Wrong attitude in it, and about the notes on those posts. not gonna reblog or reply to any of those because my thoughts are admittedly kind of random and jumping from place to place and probably OT to the point of the discussion, but you know. still thinking.

so, uh. not trying to start wank or anything but enjoy the ranting that got way out of hand under the cut.

so, like... that one “we can’t just block everyone who quips and shitposts because some of these people also write actual meta but then they unfortunately go back to Not Engaging With Canon by writing quippy shitpost-y stuff” line, or however it was actually phrased? besides the blatant entitlement with the “you have to fandom ONLY in ways I like, I can’t just engage with the part of the content you create that I’m interested in and scroll past the rest” thing (which kinda reminds me of the whole “you can’t CNTW on some of your fics, I should be able to read ALL of your fics” thing, in a way) and the ”I refuse to curate my fandom experience and I’ll make it some stranger’s problem” thing (which... reminds me of a few other things, but tbf it has probably been around since the very first days of fandom), what if someone doesn’t even see meta and quips/shitposts as fundamentally different and mutually exclusive approaches to fandom? what if they see them as just two ways to be interested in a specific fandom and interact with it, and maybe even closely linked together, so going from one to another is actually very, very easy for them? hell, what if they (gasp!) even mix quips and meta together sometimes?

I have a few posts about what I think Baran bo Odar and Jantje Friese might have been doing with mythological references and themes in Dark, and about what I got from the series finale. some are meme-like, phrased in a joking tone, probably even shitpost-y? another one is literally just a gifset plus me having intense Feels in the tags, and the last one is an edit of the kind I’ve seen people complain about as “those cringey unoriginal tumblr aesthetics that all look the same” in at least a couple of occasions. does that automatically mean I only wanted to “win” at fandom (with my hard-earned prize being... a handful of notes in a fandom that’s not even that big compared to others) and that I haven’t actually spent probably way too much time thinking about the significance of Martha’s Ariadne play as a commentary on character interactions/plot/narrative themes (and honestly still do from time to time), or that I don’t occasionally read the captions under other people’s gifsets and suddenly feel very much enlightened about why the Ariadne play mentions the myth of the Flood of all things? that I didn’t start reading posts and comments and reviews and theories about the series finale as soon as I finished watching it? that, just because I didn’t write 10K+ words of Perfectly Serious Seriousness about all that stuff, I simply refused to Engage With The Text?

... and if I said that I feel a little irrationally self-conscious at the idea of writing down all of my (often rambling, sometimes jumbled) thoughts about a series that to me actually does feel very deep and complex, so adding memes and humor to that or finding different means to put my ideas out there makes me feel more comfortable expressing myself while also taking off the (admittedly made-up) pressure of having to write a whole coherent essay where I have to find a clear and explicit way to explain where every single thought comes from and how it leads to the next like I’m gonna get graded on it? or that a lot of those thoughts stem from memories of spending five years of high school translating and analysing ancient Greek poetry and reading and watching and discussing every available interpretation and reinterpretation of it from Nietzsche to Vernant to Dürrenmatt to Christa Wolf to Pasolini to a lot of others and from certain things in Dark violently hurtling me back to those times without even asking for permission, so a part of my self-consciousness is actually “I probably don’t actually know/remember enough about this to base a whole in-depth analysis on it even though I do think there’s something there” and another part is “shit I’m too lazy to dig through all of my old textbooks and homework and additional readings to hunt for the thing I feel the desperate need to reference or figure out who might have said it, so no extended explanation here either”? I guess in the end it would all boil down to “there’s an amount of effort and physical and mental energy I’m willing to put into fandom but I also have limits to stop something that makes me feel happy from becoming a chore”, which. considering the whole “you have to put all your resources into constantly pouring out 100% serious meta and nothing else because that’s what I like, no deviations allowed” thing? yeah, I can see saying stuff like that would still make me a blight upon fandom. and/or Not Engaging.

which, I realize, it’s a thing I keep coming back to. but that’s because I really, really, really hate it? seriously, what even counts as Engaging With The Text correctly? not shitposts, and not quips either, apparently. Regardless of the fact that humor and crack have existed in fandom since forever and that it’s actually not uncommon AT ALL for them to be born out of looking at canon from different angles, pointing out whatever the fan in question finds surreal/strange/implausible/convoluted/awkward/just kinda funny about it.

also, not canon divergence/what if fics motivated not by a desire to “fix” something that made us feel bad when it happened in canon but by a desire to actually fix what we felt was objectively a poor writing choice from the author, because we shouldn’t Engage by analysing the text to criticize it or to think over how and why certain aspects of it don’t work for us or how we think the structure of the text itself could be modified or even improved, we should Engage by... writing meta and/or writing canon-compliant fics with perhaps a little allowance for slightly-to-the-left-of-canon-compliant missing moments fics, I guess?

from what I’ve gathered from reading other fandom discussion some time ago, AUs are also out, especially Modern/No Powers AUs, because those are always just an excuse to slap your fave’s name on your OC/disguise your original fiction as fanfic to get comments/ignore all that’s interesting about canon to write yet another dumb syrupy high school or coffee shop AU, even if I’m honestly not sure what kind of AUs people are even reading to never get to the “there’s no supernatural threat so let’s focus entirely on the fucked-up family dynamics and blatant mental issues in a world where you can’t just ignore them by marrying off your daughter or sending your son to be someone’s squire” AUs or the “this is pretty much what happens in canon but adding new dimensions and different outlooks on the themes by moving everything to a new context” AUs. seriously, I could rec you a pretty great “this guy would be a horrible father and treat his children horribly in any world, it’s not just the feudal society around him, it’s him as a person” AU and that’s literally just the first thing that came to my mind. but, hey, maybe Engaging is only engaging with the canon plot and setting and nothing else, what do I know.

... fuck, thinking about it, I’m not even sure if by “not shitpost and not quips” I should even mean humor/crack? because it’s not like the OP was clear about it in any way? maybe it’s just all that’s weird and tropey and not-canon-compliant? I can see the “everybody gathers in the main character’s stuff to smoke weed and weird shit happens” fic I got a chuckle out of some time ago being one of the dreaded tumblr-born shitpost fics that are supposedly ruining fandom by ensuring that fans stop thinking (?), but what about the “everything is the same but this one character is a catboy, not for any particular reason but just because” fic I’m currently following and loving? people have been joking and shitposting about catboys a lot on tumblr lately (I distinctly remember that the last catboy joke to pop up on my dash was the “I’m your catboy gf and I’m stuck in a wall” one...) and finding an always-a-catboy!AU initially got an amused smile out of me, so is the mere premise enough to make the fic just a joke/just taking a trope and running off with it/just part of a shallow trend? even when the author literally goes “oh shit just realized this is all a metaphor for neuodivergence and masking” in the story notes? unless writing a character who’s never explicitly stated to be neurodivergent in canon as a being literally or metaphorically neurodivergent in your fic is always shallow projecting or posturing issuefic... instead of, y’know, looking closely at the text and Engaging with it by interpreting it that way....

I feel all this ranting/venting might end up plunging into Why We Slash discussion territory now, so I better stop here.

anyway, in short, good to know I’ve been in fandom for years yet I’ve always been just a Fake Fan who Can’t Think and is constantly Doing It Wrong (by Not Being Transformative Enough, possibly). gonna do my best to stay exactly like that in the future <3

#... see THIS is why i don't write meta #fic is so much easier be it crack or not #ugh i feel i should probably delete this to avoid a giant headache but let's give it a try

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desperatelyseekingroleplay · 6 years

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looking for fandom rp partners!

fandoms: i'm putting this at the top because it's the most important part for me; think of it as an interest check. if something isn't listed here? i'm not interested (this includes fandomless plots and ocs). if you aren't in one of these fandoms, please... don't message me... don't even bother with the rest of the post.

fandom — characters i could write — current interest

rick and morty — morty, beth, summer — ★★★★★

supernatural — sam, castiel — ★★★★☆

death note (anime) — almost anyone — ★★★☆☆

gorillaz — noodle, 2D — ★★★☆☆

team fortress 2 — medic, sniper, scout — ★★☆☆☆

portal — GLaDOS, rattmann — ★★☆☆☆

fullmetal alchemist (anime) — ed, al, nina — ★☆☆☆☆

overwatch — almost anyone — ★☆☆☆☆

pokémon (games) — n, lillie, gladion — ★☆☆☆☆

rules: last time i tried this, it didn't really work out too well, but i'm really tired of having no one to write with, so... yeah. we're trying again. things that i want to note because of what happened with my last request:

don't message me saying "i was wondering if you wanted to do something that wasn't on your post!" seriously. i probably don't.

don't message me asking to do, specifically, something that i said, within this post, that i can't do (no smut, i'm a minor) or don't really want to do (not much romance, it's not my cup of tea).

don't come to me with fandomless or oc plots. i only do fandom rp, and i'm even becoming weary of ocs within fandoms at this point. i'm tired.

one last thing i want to say: i will not, under any circumstances, write underage or incestual relationships. this is the only unbreakable limit that i'm setting on my topics, other than the smut thing, which is a legal issue.

sorry about that! i swear to god, i'm not usually so salty. so, do you think you can handle those little rules? if you can, great! here's my info.

about me: i'm vinny, living at the ripe age of thirteen. i have about 6 years of roleplay experience, and i've been on tumblr since 2015. i'm a nonbinary (they/them) lesbian. i love being close with my writing partners! i think roleplay is a thing that can make you form very intricate friendships. but i'm not looking for a date, especially not if you're an adult. (not that i don't like talking to adults, because i'm fine with that!)

style: these days? i'll do just about anything, from one line to a whole novella. my only criteria is that we discuss and match lengths, because there's nothing i hate more than writing a lot and getting a little. i'm not that harsh about this, i just don't want to write three paragraphs and get two lines in response. also, i usually write in all-lowercase (purely for the aesthetic), but you don't have to, and neither do i! if you hate it, just ask, and i'll stop in our threads.

time: my timezone is est.

availability: i'm usually a full-time student, but i'm on summer vacation right now, so i have a lot of free time. i may take a while to get to responses if i'm low on inspiration for the particular thread, but most of the time, i'll whip out my phone as soon as i get a notification and respond (or start a response) right on the spot.

preferences: alright, time to get down to the nitty-gritty. i'll put this simply: i'm thirteen. you know what that means? i'm super fucking edgy! i don't know how else to say that, honestly, because it's just a fact. i'm fine with casual stuff, sure, but you know what really butters my eggroll? angst. if i can't cry myself to sleep every night from our thread, is it really worth writing? is it really worth it? so, yeah, i hope that's enough to express what my favorite plots are like. i'm fine with other stuff, too, though! just keep in mind that i can't write smut, and i'm really not all that into romance. (yeah, i get it. you all wanna do romance. but i'd rather... not?)

contact: if you reply to this post, or like it, or reblog it, or anything else like that, in order to get my attention, it won't work. that's because i never remember to check posts like these. please im me instead! my url is gunemote! i'm fine with doing roleplays over tumblr ims, but since tumblr sucks and i'm mobilezoned about 60% of the time, i prefer to make discord servers where we can organize our threads into channels (or, at least friend each other on discord and write in the dms there). i don't use any other apps, either, just discord; and i'm not gonna change that. thanks!

#Desperately Seeking Roleplay #Writing Partner Wanted #Roleplay Partner Wanted #Roleplay Partner Ad #Roleplay Partner Search #Roleplay Partner Needed #Rp Buddy Search #Rp Partner Needed #Rp Partner Wanted #Rp Partner Ad #Rp Partner Search #Fandom Roleplay Wanted #Seeking Roleplay Partner #submission

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phancystuff · 7 years

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Trying to Remember How it Feels (To Have a Heartbeat) 1/7

Pairing: Dan/ Phil (Phan) Summary: Dan moves into a new apartment in London and, though it’s a step up from his old apartment, his landlord gives him strange warnings while he’s touring the place-- something about the last renters leaving because of ghost sightings. But, Dan doesn’t believe in the supernatural. He quickly changes his tune when he meets Phil Lester, the ghost haunting his apartment. Well, if haunting means quickly becoming the best friend he’s ever had. (Title from Harry Styles’ song Two Ghosts) Notes: This is the first part of my Spooky Week Special! This fic is almost 100% already written and I plan on updating it every day until Halloween. Please note that, although this fic has the warning of major character death, it is not in any way graphic. Tags/ Warnings: ghost au, Halloween, major character death (obv. it’s a ghost au lol), depictions of panic attacks, angst, fluff, HAPPY ENDING, mentions of suicide (it happens in a movie they watch)

Read it on A03 Completed fic masterlist here

Dan woke up that morning in a mood, which is never a good thing when you’re supposed to do something particularly adult-y. Something like tour a new apartment because the one you’re currently living in is literally falling apart at the seams and your neighbors drill ridiculous DIY projects at all hours of the day. Dan’s YouTube channel had been doing pretty well lately, too, and he could finally afford a better apartment. He had made it hard on himself in the beginning by refusing to get a roommate, but he liked his space. It didn’t matter, anyway, it was finally time for him to move up in the world and trade his current hamster cage for a slightly bigger one. And yet, there Dan was, the morning of an apartment tour, on his third coffee, and still feeling like someone had hit him over the head and shoulders while he was sleeping. Sickly sweet Starbucks lattes weren’t even touching his exhaustion; it was that serious. So maybe that’s why, later when Dan was touring this potential apartment, he couldn’t be bothered with the stupid things that were coming out of the landlord’s mouth.

The white, middle aged man, who had introduced himself as Paul, had just closed the door to the master bedroom and was leading Dan to the kitchen when he glanced back at Dan. “Yeah, I just want to give you full, fair warning. The last renters left because they kept seeing a ghost.”

“You don’t say?” Dan hid his eye roll, answering uninterestedly. He didn’t know what the landlord was playing at, but ghosts didn’t exist and this was a nice apartment. He couldn’t be scared away from it. It was an old building, but it had recently been renovated and featured new, shiny appliances. The space wasn’t huge, but it would work perfectly for a 26 year old, single YouTuber. It had a great view of the city and an elevator to aid in the moving process.

“Yeah, ghosts! I mean, I never saw any ghosts, but I do get a weird feeling when I walk around here.” Paul rambled on and Dan leaned against the kitchen counter, staring at him. “From what I hear, the last landlord that owned this property didn’t carefully inspect the place and it ended in some poor bloke dying. Not really sure how; it was back in 2010. But, obviously, everything’s ship shape now.” The man trailed off, gazing around at nothing in particular.

“Uh huh,” Dan answered politely, but distractedly, crouching down to look at the controls on the impressive-looking stove. He wasn’t really listening.

“Oh, yeah! The stove is new and state-of-the-art--” as the landlord barreled into more information about the admittedly nice stove, Dan totally forgot about the weirdo’s ghost comments.

***

A week later, Dan was moving into his new apartment. He had spent a few days weighing his options, but had ultimately decided to apply for the flat that Paul had showed him. The application had been accepted quickly and now Dan was staring at his new home with a large, heavy cardboard box in his arms. Thankfully, his parents and younger brother were kind enough to give up their Saturday to help Dan out. They were hoping to get it all done in a day. Dan glanced back toward the street and felt overwhelmed by all of the boxes, furniture, and stuff in the moving van. As he made trip after trip from moving van to apartment, he felt increasingly thankful for the elevator in the building.

Dan, his parents, and younger brother were in and out of the apartment all morning with boxes and furniture. “Fuck, Dan, when did you get so much shit?” Alex collapsed on the sofa that the four of them had finally fit it into the far corner of the lounge. He glared at Dan, who just rolled his eyes at his moody teenaged brother. Dan couldn’t really say much; he was moody too when he was sixteen. Dan was just glad that he didn’t start his YouTube channel until later in his life. Less cringe-worthy stuff on the internet, that way.

“Sorry Lexy,” Dan put emphasis on his little brother’s childhood nickname, “How about you let me know what I don’t need and I’ll bin it. Would that make you happy?”

Alex puffed out a breath, “Yeah, start with the shoes. You have enough to make the average girl jealous.”

Dan crossed his arms, “sexist little punk.”

“Self-absorbed twat.”

“Wanker.”

“Assho--”

“Boys! Enough.” Their mum suddenly appeared at the opening to the lounge, looking at her offspring disappointedly. “Daniel, you’re 26, you should know better.” Dan looked down at his toes, feeling more remorseful that he was 26 and was still being disciplined by his mum. Alex just looked smug, until their mum turned to him and crossed her arms. “Alex, Daniel is your older brother and he needed our help today. So don’t complain. We’re family, we help each other. That’s what family does.” Alex rolled his eyes in response.

Dan collapsed next to Alex, letting a sigh escape his lips. “Thanks for helping me, you guys. Even though some of us are annoying little pillocks who should be locked in a room until their bodies are no longer being ravaged by hormones--” he looked pointedly at Alex-- “I really appreciate the help.”

“Well, of course you need help, it’s not like you can afford movers on a YouTuber’s salary.” Alex snipped, shoving his shoulder against Dan.

Their mum looked between them with exasperation, throwing her hands up. “I give up! Brothers! So nasty to each other!” She turned around, exiting the flat to get more boxes. Alex giggled.

Dan looked at him unbelievingly. “Did you really just giggle?”

Alex met his stare with furrowed brows, “No, I didn’t fucking giggle. Why would I giggle? The only funny thing here is your career path.” Alex shoved himself off the couch, “come on, you lazy fuck. You aren’t gonna pass all the work off on us.”

“Will you stop being such a prick?” Dan also pushed himself off the couch, already forgetting about the giggle that he had very clearly heard. Instead, he was thinking about offering to order pizza for everyone so they could have a much-deserved lunch break.

***

Later that night, Dan worked in his new bedroom, making his bed and unloading the boxes that had been haphazardly stacked about. The whole process of bringing in his stuff had taken the better part of the day and then his family stuck around to help Dan start to unpack. They didn’t really get far with it, before Dan was insisting that he could handle the unpacking part and that his family had done enough for him. Of course, Alex had made a relieved sassy comment that Dan had ignored and Dan’s mum checked and double-checked that Dan was ok to do it alone. Dan’s dad suggested going out to dinner and everyone had been more than happy to comply.

His family left long ago and Dan was alone in the apartment. It seemed so big and empty. Every footstep seemed to echo. Dan hated new places. It would get better when his stuff was unpacked and arranged. Until then, Dan just blasted some Vampire Weekend and rifled around in the boxes marked ‘bedroom.’ Whenever Dan moved somewhere new, he set his bedroom up first. The bed was the most important thing, especially since it was pushing 10:00 PM and Dan had gotten up disgustingly early that morning. After the bed was made, Dan went through the process of setting up his computer. Connecting to the internet was blessedly easy, but that was because the internet provider had already been in a couple days ago to install the router and ethernet jacks. Dan had stressed to them how important it was to get everything sorted and they had complied.

Fixing up his bedroom also included building his video background, which was always one of his favorite spaces to decorate. Of course, the iconic butt chair was there. He hung fairy lights around his bed frame and delicately put various knick knacks on display on his bedside table. Posters were hung, clothes were folded and stuffed into his chest of drawers, books were fitted into his new bookshelf, bedsheets were smoothed down, and slowly the boxes disappeared. Dan broke them down and slid them in the hallway, promising himself to take care of the pile rather than trip on it for the next two weeks. Before Dan knew it, it was 1:30 AM and he was crashing, quickly.

Dan silenced Ezra Koenig and tore off his clothes, changing into soft pajama bottoms. He lay down on his bed, groaning at the feeling of his aching body sinking into a blessedly comfy memory foam mattress. Dan had paid a small fortune for the bed, but it had been so worth it. He slept like a baby in it. Dan got out his phone, checking his social media accounts for any important updates. He reblogged some fanart on tumblr, watched some of his friends new YouTube videos, and liked some tweets. Dan himself tweeted, ‘of course the first thing i set up in the new flat is my bed. it’s where all the magic happens and by magic i mean sleep.’ Dan spent a few minutes replying with sassy comments to fans, before feeling his eyelids start to drift closed.

“Ugh, the lights. Gotta get the lights.” Dan murmured to himself, forcing his eyes open. He rolled to the left, aiming to get out of the bed, when the lights were suddenly off. Dan perked his head up, looking around in the room that had just been plunged in darkness. He couldn’t see a thing. He groaned, thinking about how he would already have to contact the landlord about electricity problems. “Stupid faulty electricity,” Dan pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes. “Whatever, it can wait until morning.” Dan pushed the bedcovers down, wiggling under them. They were barely over his body when sleep overtook him.

Dan slept late and when his eyes finally cracked open, the sun was obnoxiously brightening the room. Dan put ‘dark curtains’ on his mental shopping list and pushed the covers off his body. He lay there for a second, observing the ceiling (and praising the lack of cracks in it).

Moments later, his feet touched the floor and he remembered the electricity the previous night. Curious, Dan pushed himself out of bed and padded over to the light switch on the wall. He flicked it experimentally and watched the overhead lights come on and off, on and off. They were working perfectly. There must have been a brief, scarily coincidental, power outage the previous night.

Dan went into the kitchen and made a coffee and popped some toast into the toaster, thanking both his past self for packing some food to sustain him as he moved in, and his mother for unpacking the food immediately. Dan got out his phone as he waited for his breakfast and sent a quick text to his mum. ‘Bless you for unpacking my food.’ She sent him a heart emoji without hesitation and asked him about his first night. He made light conversation about unpacking and sleeping, but quickly said goodbye to her in favor of breakfast.

Dan opened up the notes app in his iPhone, looking at the list of video ideas he had going. Although he had tons of unpacking to do, he was due for a new video soon. He didn’t want to spend a lot of time with a script or with editing, so he figured it was time for another video in his “Quick and Dirty with Dan” series. For these videos, he would essentially set up a camera and rant/ philosophize about a subject for five minutes. He only edited out the “um’s.” They were fun. People cared about his opinions on things, surprisingly. Dan composed a quick tweet: ‘any requests for a quick n dirty?’ and he watched the responses flood in. Of course, plenty of his fans suggested lewd things, inspired by the name of the series. Several tweets said ‘Donald Trump’ and there was no way that Dan was going to fall down that hole. Dan scrolled through his replies, munching on a bite of buttered toast. One tweet jumped out at him and he thumbed the text, liking it. ‘Talk about your experience with/ opinion about the supernatural! Like ghosts, not the show lolol.’ Immediately, Dan recalled the weird conversation he had with Paul the landlord about the ghost that apparently haunted this apartment. It would be a perfect story to include in his video.

When his toast was eaten and cup of coffee was drained, Dan tottered back to his bedroom, maneuvering around boxes. Dan made his bed and changed into his signature black outfit. He set up his camera and lighting equipment and sat down in his chair, checking the viewfinder to make sure that his video background looked agreeable. Dan pressed record, speaking his regular greeting of “Hello internet!” and barreling into the topic of the supernatural.

Three or four hours later, the video was being uploaded onto YouTube. Dan’s more scripted videos took much longer to create, which was why he really liked this series. Dan left the video to do its thing and went to unpack the kitchen, blasting Britney Spears and singing along badly. “Toxic” came on and Dan picked up a wooden spoon, holding it to his mouth and purring out the first words of the song, “baby, can’t you see?” He danced around the kitchen. About halfway through the song, Dan noticed that he was hearing double. There was another voice under Britney’s that wasn’t his own. It wasn’t a particularly good voice, either. It missed some of the notes entirely. Dan furrowed his brow and picked up his phone, checking that Spotify hadn’t accidentally given him a weird, cover version of the song. It hadn’t. Dan paused it and silence enveloped the kitchen. He pressed play again and the song was back to normal, Britney back to her sensual self. Dan felt a little unnerved, thinking about the electricity and the weird mystery voice. He considered exploring the apartment a little, checking closets and corners for possible squatters. In the end, he didn’t do anything of the sort, laughing at himself instead. He needed to get the place set up, then maybe Dan wouldn’t feel so jumpy.

Dan paused Britney and checked the status of his video. He was surprised to find that it had already uploaded successfully. He was impressed with the internet speed. He scrolled through YouTube comments, liking a few clever ones. He rarely replied to YouTube comments, unless one was especially funny. He didn’t find any funny ones, but did notice quite a few that looked exactly identical.

‘Umm wtf ghost at 1:33??????’

‘YOU BETTER BELIEVE IN GHOST STORIES, DANIEL, YOU’RE IN ONE!!!11! 1:33’

‘1:33 Ghost. Ghost. Ghost.’

‘Seriously, what the fuck is that at 1:33??’

Dan rolled his eyes at the comments. These weren’t new on the world of YouTube. People loved creepy things and once one person commented a timestamp and a ghost sighting, it was like a disease. Dan clicked the timestamp on one of the comments, fully expecting a shadow or stuffed animal falling over.

Instead, Dan felt like his heart stopped.

He paused the video. He suddenly felt hot, heat prickling across every inch of his skin. In the video, in the dark doorway of his bedroom, there was an unmistakable figure. A man. He was barely a glimmer, but, boy, was he there.

Dan stared at the screen, wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him. There was literally no fucking reasonable explanation for what he was seeing. Dan tried to rationalize it, but was coming up with nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Instead, he was thinking about the landlord’s comments, the mysterious giggle that he thought was Alex, the electricity problem, the strange voice he heard while singing “Toxic.” Dan started shaking. He was afraid to play the video and watch what the figure would do. But he had to. Curiosity ate at him. Slowly, shakily, Dan pressed play and watched the entryway. The man looked up at Dan in the video. Dan blanched at the man’s pale skin, dark hair, and piercing eyes. He didn’t look unfriendly, watching Dan with curiosity. In the video, Dan was saying something about “the idea of ghosts scaring the diddly heck out of him,” and Dan saw the ghost’s mouth quirk up in a smile, before he was simply phasing out of frame.

Dan paused the video and released a breath that he had been holding.

“Sorry for intruding on your video.” Dan screamed, actually screamed, jerking violently in his chair. It pitched back and he crashed to the floor. The room echoed with the sound of the loud crash and Dan felt momentarily dazed. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering if someone had slipped him hallucinogenic drugs without him knowing. Alex would probably get a kick out of doing something like that. Suddenly, a figure came into Dan’s view, looking at Dan upside down. It was the figure from the video. The ghost? The hallucination? Dan’s eyes widened at the man. He looked… concerned. “Oh dear, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. Are you all right?” Dan noticed the voice had a Northern tinge, and now was really not the time to notice such a fucking stupid detail.

“Me? I-I-- well, I-I. Are y-you? Ghost? Who, who, who are you?” Dan stuttered pathetically, trembling all over. He felt cold and hot at the same time. He wondered briefly if he had a fever. Maybe he hadn’t woken up yet and this was a dream.

The figure covered his translucent face in equally translucent hands. “Oh god, I’ve really muffed this up. Of course you would be frightened.” He removed his hands from his face and stared down at Dan. “Won’t you get up? We could go to the lounge? I’ll introduce myself properly!”

Dan just lay there, trembling. He blinked his eyes over and over, willing the ghost to disappear. He wasn’t awake. He was asleep. This was a dream. He pinched himself. It didn’t work. He slapped himself in the face. Nothing happened.

“Hey! Don’t hit yourself!” Dan jumped again. He stared into a pair of ghosts eyes a moment longer and decided that he should at least pick himself off the floor. He did so, probing the back of his head and wincing at the tender spot that was definitely bruised. Methodically, he picked the chair up off the ground and tucked it under the desk, trying to breathe evenly. It was a losing battle. Finally, Dan snapped, and the floodgates opened. He began breathing harder, the unmistakable feeling of panic sweeping over his body. He felt lightheaded and numb. Dan sat down on the floor, hard, breath coming faster and faster. He pushed himself against the wall of his bedroom, trying to get as far away from the ghost as possible. His breath wheezed out of him, specks of spit flying out of his mouth. Dan pressed his head in between his knees as he lost feeling in his fingers. He didn’t feel real. He was terrified. What was happening to him? “Hey, hey, now. It’s ok. God, I’m so sorry, Dan. It’s ok. Breathe. Slowly, slowly now.” Dan knew that the voice was coming from the object of his fears, but it was good advice. He tried his best to take it, trying to control his lungs. He used every trick he had learned throughout his life of living with anxiety. He imagined that his lungs had legs and were running away and he imagined himself running after them, catching them in his hands. He listened to the soothing repetition of “it’s ok, shh, slowly now” coming from the mouth of the fucking ghost across from him. Dan picked up his heavy hands and brought them up to his own neck, dragging his fingers along the sensitive skin there. Anything to ground him. Anything to make him feel real again. Minutes later, Dan’s breathing began to slow. He focused hard on forcing it to stay slow. “There ya go, good. I’m not a bad guy. I couldn’t hurt a fly, I promise.”

Dan looked up at the ghost who had crouched down in front of Dan’s crumpled form. He would have looked like a completely normal guy, if not for the see-through skin and the slightly hovering body. This was the first time Dan was getting a good look at him and he was surprised, to say the least. The man in front of him was more like a boy. He had long, black hair that was cut into a style resembling cool 2007 emo myspace kids. Interestingly enough, he was sporting a worn, blue shirt and grey sweatpants. He had piercing blue eyes. “You’re a ghost.” Dan’s voice was shaky and monotone. He felt exhausted. Dan realized that his face was wet with tears. When he had a panic attack, he often couldn’t tell the difference between hyperventilating and sobbing. It all blended into one disastrous experience.

The figure looked embarrassed and Dan thought he saw the ghost’s face turn red. “I am a ghost. I’m sorry.” The ghost scratched at the back of his head. “Dan, I feel terribly. I should have realized that you would have reacted like this. I accidentally drove the last renters out and I never even purposefully revealed myself to them. God, I’m just an idiot. I just couldn’t believe that you were a YouTuber and I got so excited to see the camera and--”

“--Ok, ok. It’s, um, ok, I guess.” Dan cut the ghost off. He blew out a shaky breath. “How do you, um, know my name?”

The ghost looked embarrassed again. “Oh, I heard your family call you Dan. That sounds so creepy. Sheesh,” he refused to meet Dan’s eyes. “I wish I could leave you alone forever, but I-- uh-- am kinda tethered to this place. Can’t leave.”

Dan nodded slowly, deciding that, if this was happening and this was reality, he might as well be cordial. “Oh. Well, do you have a name?”

Phil clapped his hand over his face and Dan couldn’t help but jump a little, body still on edge. “I’m really cocking this up. Yes of course I have a name, I’m so rude. Phil Lester, at your service!” Phil stuck his hand out at Dan who just stared at it. Phil slowly retracted it, “sorry, habit.” The ghost coughed, “sorry.”

“Right. Um.” Dan chewed his lip and stared at Phil with wide eyes. What was the proper etiquette when it came to ghosts? He couldn’t offer Phil some tea and cakes, for chrissakes. Dan suddenly remembered something Phil had said only seconds before. “You know YouTube? How?”

Phil smiled a sad smile and crossed his legs. He looked like a monk who had achieved enlightenment with his hovering. “I had a channel back in the day. I had a lot of fun with it.” Phil stared at his legs, picking at the fabric covering his knee.

“Oh! Wow, you were a YouTuber?” Dan couldn’t hide his disbelief. What were the odds that the ghost tethered to his new apartment had also been a YouTube when he was alive? Dan wasn’t even going to dwell on how weird that sentence was. “What was your username?”

Phil met his eyes and smiled shyly, “oh, um, it was amazingphil.” Dan raised his eyebrows. “I know, I know. I made it in 2006.”

“That’s fair; everyone had quirky usernames back in the day.” Dan remembered his first youtube channel name and was briefly thankful that he never made a single video on it. He couldn’t imagine what kind of professional life he could have with a name like ‘danisnotonfire.’

“Yeah, I guess. But mine was particularly silly, huh?”

“Not as bad as danisnotonfire,” Dan said, laughing a little.

“That’s your channel name?!”

“Oh no, no. But it was the account I made when I was 16. I never used it to make videos, thank god.” Silence followed Dan’s comment and he was struck by the sudden realization that he was having a fucking conversation with a ghost. “Hey-- did you turn off the lights last night?” Dan tilted his head to the side slightly and Phil looked abashed.

“Um, ah, yeah. You had just worked so hard and looked so comfy. I just flicked them off for you, it wasn’t hard.” Phil cleared his throat, “electricity is one those things that I can manipulate.”

Dan hummed to himself. “So you were watching me last night?”

Phil’s eyes widened. “Sorry! Sorry! Bad habit! I don’t see many people. It’s just nice to--” He cut himself off. “I think it’s about time for me to leave you alone. You need some space,” Phil nodded to himself, “I need to get out of your space.”

“Phil! Phil, wait! I still have--” and then the ghost was gone, as quick as he had appeared. “--questions.” Dan finished lamely.

Dan looked around his bedroom, almost surprised to find that it hadn’t changed; only Dan’s perception of it had. Everything was too bright and crystal clear, like he had been swimming underwater with his eyes open until that moment. Dan shakily got up off the floor and made his way to the bed, collapsing on it. He didn’t bother to put on different clothes or get under the covers. So, a ghost was haunting his new apartment. What was he supposed to do about that? Let the landlord know? The landlord already knew; he had bloody warned Dan. Tell his parents? His subscribers? Well, his subscribers had already seen it. Curious, Dan pulled his phone out of his back pocket and scrolled through his replies on Twitter. The ghost was literally the only thing that any of them were talking about. Dan checked the views on his video and his mouth dropped open. It was almost to one million views, which was pretty normal for him, but it always took a couple of days for the views to add up to a million. His video was going viral. Dan locked his phone and placed it on the bedside table. What was he supposed to do about this? He began to drift asleep, the exhaustion of his panic attack weighing him down into the mattress. Phil had been a YouTuber when he was alive; maybe Dan would ask him his opinion. Before Dan could consider how odd of a concept it was, he was asleep.

Chapter two

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic #ghost au #halloween #spooky week #spooky week special

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ccorneliast · 7 years

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A Heart In Barcelona - Chapter 3: A Carrison Fanfiction

Rating: M Summary: Carrie and Harrison go on a weekend getaway to Barcelona during filming of The Empire Strikes Back in the late seventies. Something happens on that trip that changes their lives forever. Disclaimer: this is a real person fan fiction, so it all definitely came from my imagination and I’m not trying to offend anyone (you know the drill). I did take some creative liberty on what concerns the timeline, so stuff that is mentioned/places they visit may not have existed in the seventies, I apologize in advance; I do use/paraphrase some parts from Carrie’s books, as a way of making it feel more like them. A/N: Jennifer, my love, this third chapter is for you ( @jennydehavilland ), for your constant love, friendship and excitment over these two. Big thanks to my girls over at the carrison groupchat, y’all are the best.

On AO3 (tumblr was being stupid so it ate my italics, so i’d recomend reading on AO3 this time!)

I hope you enjoy this new story of mine and don’t forget to reblog and tell me your opinion!

You’d think that an afternoon of such intimacy and years of accumulated tension would be enough for them to keep their hands on each other. Instead, as they make their way to the España Square, Carrie’s eyes rarely meet Harrison’s. Truth be told, it just dawned on the two actors that they rarely had this much time alone as is, and they don’t quite know how to deal with it.

Soon enough, if they weren’t careful, Harrison would start to get annoyed at Carrie’s mood swings and, in turn, she’d begin to resent him for his frustratingly unconcerned demeanor.

They walk side by side, though miles apart psychologically, until they reach it. The square is momentous in itself, it’s huge fountains dominating most of the space. Up above, almost sky high, they could observe the Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya, an enormous classical edifice, much too different from Gaudí’s architecture.

Harrison glances at his wrist watch and mumbles: “Maybe we should get something to eat.” She nods.

They walk up the steps (more steps, ugh) until they’re by the bigger, more crowded fountain. Carrie spots some street food and urges Harrison, with little to no words, to follow her lead. They pay for some delicious, though unreasonably priced, meaty sandwiches.

“You wanna sit there?” Harrison’s questions, uninterested.

She does. She sits down on the grass, right in front of the fountain. He sits next to her with some difficulty, for the area’s overflowing with tourists and natives alike.

“Harrison,” she says, but it’s barely audible. She tries again, this time turning her face towards his. “Harrison.”

He continues eating, but nods.

“What was that earlier?” she asks. He keeps chewing, but it’s not a way to divert the attention from the conversation. He doesn’t try to deny it or change the topic. Instead, he says:

“That thing was jam-packed.” He takes another bite. “I couldn’t breathe up there.” On top of the rooftop of La Pedrera.

“Why didn’t you say somethin’?” she chews on the straw of her drink absentmindedly.

“Didn’t want to worry ya, kid.” His eyes focus on the still dormant fountain instead of on hers.

“Bullshit.” She sets the cup down in front of her and brings a hand to his face, turning it towards her.

“What?” he’s shocked by how quickly her tone turned aggressive.

“You heard me.” She repeats, her hand falling to her lap. “You weren’t trying to be selfless.”

“Then what was I doing?” his tone is dangerous.

“Can’t crack that up yet.” She ponders it for a few moments.

“I have that problem sometimes.” He confesses. “When things aren’t the way I want them to.” He finishes his sandwich and puts away the wrapper in his backpack.

“When things aren’t the way you want them to be…” she echoes. He’s unbelievable.

“I didn’t want you to see me like that.” People start cheering, but they remain absorbed in their conversation.

“Afraid?” she runs her hands through her hair and successfully makes a ponytail.

He keeps quiet.

“That’s it, right?” she smiles, pleased. “You didn’t want me to see you scared?” the fountain rises and water starts splashing around in various colors. “You didn’t want me to think you’re what? Human?” she presses. His eyes reflect the pinks and blues and yellows. “Tell you a secret, I don’t. Never have.” That’s a lie, a big one. Big movie star, Harrison Ford, fearless and manly as can be. That was her mindset and, frankly, it was scary to think otherwise.

He turns around, effectively shutting her up. His mouth clashes onto hers, his tongue slipping inside her, demanding and expecting nothing but her very best. She obliges, of course. The music in the square is nearly deafening, but it doesn’t throw her off. Her hand grips the hair on the back of his head, tugging him closer and closer. Their lips slide on each other until he’s breathless. As they part, she sits back up in her place, their skin barely touching.

Then, softer:

“You kiss like a poet.” The words barely reach her.

“Kissed a lot of poets in your life to know how they go about it, Harrison?” she laughs it off, uncomfortable.

“You know what I mean.” He says, their eyes never meeting.

She does. Because every time he looks at her, suddenly flowers grow in her chest.

The morning sunlight accompanies them on their way to La Sagrada Família. The map easily leads them to the closest transit station. The metrotakes them directly to the cathedral, as they exit the station. And then they see it, through the waves of tourists and countless bright green trees. La Pedrera and Casa Batlló may be Gaudí masterpieces, but Sagrada Família?

It’s a monster.

Its height is unfathomable and the exquisite sculpture work on the facades is unbelievable. Portraits of Christ’s life cover the entirety of its outside and its shape is eerily reminiscent of sandcastles on the beach. It looks like a fantasyland castle – wet sand dripped through fingers, both sharp and soft.

Carrie and Harrison circle the entire structure, taking in the seemingly unorganized order of the figures carved into every inch of the front. So much is happening, everywhere, that the overall style defies categorization. The west side is austere and tormented, drawing their attention to an emaciated Jesus on an iron cross. Stone women wail beside a pile of skulls at his feet. However, the east side is an abundance of life – humans and angels and animals and wheat – and topped by a green tree covered in white doves. Carrie inhales at its beauty, and they’ve only seen the outside.

As they enter the cathedral, they’re aware of an absence of noise. Organic figures intertwine with colorful and intricate stained-glass windows. On the right side, windows dyed with blues and greens and purples bid goodbye to the sun, whereas on the left side, where the sun rises every morning, warm colors like oranges and yellows welcome it.

“Fuck, this is beautiful.” Harrison whispers, only to Carrie. She nods.

And then, an overwhelming need to pick up her notebook pops up. An entire storyline occurs and she wants desperately to write it down. She tugs on Harrison’s shirt’s sleeve and he looks down at her: “Harrison,”

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” they keep walking through the columns.

“I want to write.” Her voice is tight.

“What, now?” his eyebrow creases.

“Please,” she tugs harder, more urgent.

“Okay, okay.” He looks around. “Sit down there, huh?” he points to one of the columns farther to the left.

She walks towards it, slumps on the ground and leans against the warm stone, hot from the sun rays. She fumbles inside her bag, fishing out her little grey notebook and a black ink pen. Words flow out of her and onto the paper, energy turning into energy. Harrison observes curiously, taking note of the way her lip curves when she’s thinking of what to write next, the way her teeth bite into it when she knows she’s got a good idea. Her back is curved over her ink-stained hands and the yellowed-out pages.

It’s a mesmerizing sight, even amongst all of Gaudí’s beauty.

A while later, her head rises and she smiles. His body, his soul, fills with the most pleasant adrenaline he’s ever felt. The sight of her proud smile imprints a crescent moon on his lip, and the desire of capturing this moment and savoring it for more than these mere seconds is overpowering. He sneaks out his camera and snaps the swiftest shot he’s ever taken, her lips and sparkling eyes forever inside his jeans’ pocket.

I wish the world would swallow us whole, in this moment. This, it hits me, feels like falling in love.

The afternoon train is already speeding out of Spain and it’s warm-colored buildings, en route to reality, also known as grey old London.

“When are you gonna show me one of those things you write?” Harrison mumbles.

“What?” Carrie’s eyes are cloudy from tiredness.

“Will you ever show me?” his eyes are the smallest hint of hopeful.

“Someday, Harrison,” she responds. “Someday.” She smiles, though not very convincingly.

“What is it exactly that you write?” he thought of letting go of the subject, but he’s too invested now to stop.

“Whatever I feel like.” She replies. It doesn’t seem enough to satisfy him. “Sometimes, it’s journals. Others, poetry. Rarely prose, though I do have a million ideas for it.” She laughs, suddenly nervous for having his undivided attention.

“Interesting,” he looks at her like he’s studying her. It’s intimidating. “Very different writing styles, then.” She nods. “Does it feel different?”

She lets her hair loose from the pony tail and it falls down onto her shoulders. “When I write a diary, I do it to listen to myself, not to communicate.” He nods in understanding, inciting her to continue. “It’s sort of like I’m cloning myself in an effort to try to understand myself.” She chuckles. “Just trying to get to the edge of my personality.”

“And poetry?” her gets up and makes his way across the table, sitting down beside her. As if this conversation couldn’t get any more daunting.

“Oh, poetry is a lousy lousy way of communicating.” She explains. “But such a great way to find yourself.” His lip curves upward in the most endearing smirk.

“So, your words mirror you.” He tries. When she doesn’t react, he bites his bottom lip in anticipation. She melts a little bit inside.

“My words burn.”

If only he knew every hurtful, confused, venomous words she’s written about him.

“It’s ironic how artistic we become when our hearts are broken.” As she says this, she realizes how truly powerful her words are, because it looks as though his face shut down. His eyes look glassy and dark, his facial features very harsh, as though they were hand-painted with coal. She almost regrets them. Almost.

“All art comes down to love and heartbreak, isn’t that so?” she’s enjoying the effect she has on him. He must understand. Her smile is wicked.

He plunges into her, dives into her, drowns. His lips are hers, his bottom lip trapped in between his. Her hands on his soft, brown hair, pulling him closer, as close as she pleases. In her waist, she feels his fingers digging perfect oval holes on her skin. His slight stubble rubs against her sun-kissed skin and it feels nothing short of exciting. These days, it feels like he only kisses her to shut her up.

As the train breezes through the French countryside, Carrie and Harrison kiss. The kiss doesn’t quite feel the same, though. Her air leaves her body and enters his, enters her spirit, enters her life.

#carrison #carrie fisher #harrison ford #fanfiction #rpf #carrison fanfiction #tita writes #a heart in barcelona

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buffyisms-archive · 7 years

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Below are a list of extensions and how to use them to help you RP on Tumblr. Some of them pertain to help you write (grammer, ect.), some of them make your dash easier to manage, some help organize, some do other things! I use all of these in my everyday RPing and it seriously helps things so much. This has a huge portion on Xkit and all the Xkit extensions that are super helplful. The Xkit is at the bottom of the post, because Xkit is the most popular and well known. P.S. One thing I’ve struggled with is organizing and running multiple blogs on seperate accounts, so there will be quite a bit that will help you with that. P.P.S. I have posted this on my archived blog so it is better for viewing a long post than it is on my current theme.

SESSION BOX

Omg session box is MUST HAVE FOR RUNNING MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS. If you have ever wanted to be logged on to multiple accounts in the same browser, dude this is amazing. You can have one tab be one blog, and another tab be the other. Download it for Chrome here

STAY FOCUSED

is a chrome app that can make you stay focused on writing. It will block distracting websites. How I use it is when I need to do drafts, I will set it to block all websites except tumblr.com/blog/buffyisms/drafts (obvs replace buffyisms with your own url), it will even block the tumblr dash mode. You can set it for a time of day or a certain ammount of time. Download for Chrome

AUTO TEXT EXPANDER

is a chrome app that lets you type shortcuts and it will replace them with longer things. I find this extremely useful for QUICKLY TAGGING THINGS. I talk about different ways to quickly tag in my Xkit secotion below, but honestly I find this so much easier. It stores more and has more freedom. It is so useful if you use fancy tags, or if you have tons of character tags to remember. For example if I type ism in the tag box it will automatically replace it with ( & ⁱ'ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗᵃˡᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˢˡᵃʸᵉʳ. ⁱ'ᵐ ᵗᵃˡᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵇᵘᶠᶠʸ | ɪꜱᴍꜱ. )

WORD COUNTER

is an app that you can highlight a bit of text and right click and hit word counter and it will tell you how many words are in it. This is good if you want to match your partners reply and make sure yours ins’t too short, or long, or whatever. For example this paragraph has59 words. Download for chrome

NEW XKIT. AKA the HOLY FUCKIN’ GRAIL of tumblr roleplaying. Since Xkit has like five million things on it, I will be listing the Xkit extensions that help me with roleplaying, what they do, and how to use them. Seriously Xkit is God, and if you RP on a desktop/laptop I would HIGHLY recommend getting Xkit. First off all, you can download Xkit here for google chrome, they have Xkit for firefox as well. IMPORTANT: DOWNLOAD NEW XKIT NOT THE REGULAR XKIT AS IT DOESN’T WORK ANYMORE. YOU CAN’T HAVE BOTH AT ONCE. ONLY HAVE NEW XKIT INSTALLED.

XInbox What it does: Enables you to tag answer posts before you post them. This is amazing, and necessary if you use any kind of tagging system at all. Delete multiple asks in the mass editor mode. This is good if you are cleaning out your inbox or if tumblr fucks up and gives you multiple of the same ask someone sent you Tags usernames automatically aka it will tag any answer you publish with the askers username. This makes it so they can find it in their tracked url tag. Tags anonymous posts with a tag of your choosing if you have a certain tag for anons. Tags answer posts with a tag of your choosing if you have an answered tag. If you have different tags for ooc and ic asks I wouldn’t use this feature.

One click postage This is my favorite feature and I literally can’t be on tumblr without this anymore. In short what this does is create a hover pop up over any reblog button on dash so you can reblog straight from dash. You can use keyboard shortcuts to queue, draft, ect. Buttons to straight post reblog, queue, or draft post Creates a green already reblogged button to let you know that you may have already reblogged that post. Remove caption option and a box to replace caption

Tweaks This comes with every Xkit and is a huge list of any tweaks Xkit can give you. P.S. There are tons of tweaks and i’m not gonna list them all, just the ones that I use to help me RP. Wrap Tags so you can read all the tags someone uses on a post without it getting cut off. Show new post icons on secondary pages aka your blog page, your queue, your drafts, ect. You can create a new post from anywhere. Always show the move to top button on queue aka any post can be immediately moved to the top of the queue. Show the mass post editor and blog setting button

Anti Capitalism Gets rid of ads, which is amazing because none of us want them.

Blacklist This is a must have for anyone with triggers. This doesn’t just block tagged things, but it go through the text of a post for your trigger words. It has two options one is a warning for trigger word posts and the other will just not show them.

Editable Reblogs This is a MUST HAVE. This allows you to once again be able to cut posts, because no one likes a dash that has 32094380x replies and takes up the whole dash. Just click a little button and you can edit any part of a post. Including you’re partners reply, you’re previous reply. Also good for those little survey things so you can actually fill them in, or bold them, or whatever.

Notification Block This will block notifications from you’re activity page on a certain post. (Note: only works on the actual activity page and not the activity pop up.) If you’re like me and you make tons of ask box memes or little guides just like this one, you totally need this one. If you have a post that has become popular and ruined your activity so you can’t see the activity you actually need to see to RP, this will make it so it does not appear on you’re activity page if someone reblogs your post. This goes without saying, but don’t use this on thread posts that ya know, you actually need to see when someone reblogs it. Example, if this guide right here becomes popular I can make it so it doesn’t mess up my activity page. (although i’m posting it on my archive blog because my current blog has a theme that would make this harder to see). HUGE NOTE: To get this to work right you should have GO TO DASH installed (that I will talk about soon). So to get this to work, pull up the post on YOUR OWN BLOG and click the little hand. This will take it to the post on your dash. At the bottom with all the other buttons, there will be a button with a hand and a lightening bolt. Click this to stop all notifications for that certain post.

Outbox This saved your sent asks. It saves the last 50 of them. It saves both things you send people and private replies. Super good if you need to reference something with plotting or if you can’t remember if you sent that person the same meme.

Post Archiver This is a totally underrated Xkit extension. It is amazing if you have multiple RP accounts. It is also good for tons of other things too. So pretty much you can ‘save’ any post into the xkit archive popup. If you see a post you don’t want to reblog or queue yet, but don’t want taking up your drafts, you can click the button with a down arrow at the bottom of it and save it to Xkit’s Archiver. With multiple blogs I use this if I see a musing post or a meme that doesn’t work for the blog i’m on but I would love to use it for my other blog. You can have categories you can save to that helps organize your archived posts. I’ll have a category that will say ‘Buffy memes and musings’ and when I log on to Buffy I can view them and reblog them on her. This is also amazing to save resources. Any guides or anything you can use later on, save to the archiver and view them any time.

Post Block This is amazing if a post people reblog keeps on appearing on your dash and you don’t wnat to see it anymore. Pretty much makes it so you don’t have to see the post anymore

Quick Tags Dear God, this is another one of my life savers. This adds buttons to when you reblog or post a post, both in reblog from dash and normal reblog, to add tags that you choose. I will say that this only adds 30 tag bundles. But each tag bundle can contain tons of tags. Some people will add tons of tags to a bundle and delete the ones they don’t use. For me that’s too much. But to each their own. I use this for quick tagging musings, memes, character photos, promos, ooc posts, ect. With the click of a button it’s already tags. Amazing if you use fancy tags, or can’t remember all your tags.

Reblog Yourself Literally you can reblog yourself. Good for rebloggin your self promos

Tag Tracking Shows tags in sidebar to track. Essential for tracking your url tag and group verse tags.

View My Tags Another amazing thing to help you tag everything. You can use instead of or with quick tags. This shows you your most recent fifty tags. and you can search for certain ones. Because it does most recent tags, if you use this I would do frequent tag drops.

Bookmarker Adds a little line divider on your dash from the last thing you read. Great for lurking on the dash, it will tell you that you had already read (or sometimes havent read but last time you refreshed the dash) below that line.

Old Sidebar Returns tumblrs old sidebar. I love this because you can easily get to you posts, queue, drafts, ect.

Tag Replacer Must have if you redo your tags. You can put in your old tag and it will find everything tagged with that and automatically replace that tag with your new one. Amazing for redoing tags and maintaining blog organization.

Auto Tagger I use this to automatically tag certain kinds of posts. I.e. it will tag all queue posts with my queue tag, or all audio or video with a tag you have for those kind of posts.

Find Inactives Omg essential for cleaning your dash. it can find blogs that have been inactive for an ammount of months that you set. Unfortunately it can’t unfollow them for you, but finding them is like 3/4 of the battle! This will keep your following number to the people that are active on your dash

Enhanced Queue Totally freakin essential for anyone that uses the queue for anything, ‘specially if you queue replies. My favorite feature is shuffle queue. If you queue up a bunch of gif sets from a blog but don’t want them to come out one after another, or queue up replies but don’t want them all stacked up, you can shuffle the queue. Note: It will only shuffle the posts you have loaded. If you want the whole queue shuffled, scroll down until the end of the queue is loaded. On that note, if you have a large queue but don’t want some of your replies to end up coming out two weeks later, when you queue up your replies, only load one or two more times and then shuffle. That will keep them still in the front. Just don’t shuffle the whole thing after or it will redo that.

Hermes Underrated GOD of xkit. If you ever scroll through your dash for a long time, you will notice things starting to lag and it’s so freakin’ frustrating. This is because your browser still has to remember and keep loaded those posts from the start of your dash. Hermes makes all the posts you have already seen blank, so your browser doesn’t take as much memory to remember them and lessens dash lag.

Mass Deleter This will delete all your current drafts or likes. Now for the drafts, I don’t find that useful unless you are legit clearing out everything. I wish there was a way to toggle the draft button off because tbh it’s a scary button. But it has a confirmation pop up so don’t worry! On the other hand I love the delete all current likes. It keeps my likes more clean.

Shorten Posts Do long posts bother you on your dash? Whether they are memes or other peoples replies or whatever. But you don’t want them to completely disappear, because hey! you might need them. You can set a set pixel length and all posts will be shorten to that. You can click a button to expand the post to it’s original if you want to read the whole thing.

WEBSITES TO HELP YOU WITH THEME STUFF

Pictaculous you can upload your theme background or sidebar pictures and it will give you a color scheme to use on your blog

Screenfly is a site you can view your blog on different screen sizes to make sure it looks good on all screens. Includes ipad and mobile phones too.

Subtle Patterns by toptal has tons of subtle backgrounds that work with tiled backgrounds. Great for pop ups, or your theme background, or graphics, or really so much.

WEBSITES TO HELP WITH WRITING STUFF

Tone Analyzer is so freakin’ cool. Paste your writing or replies in, and it will tell you what emotions you emote in it. Not just which ones, but the percentage of each, and which phrases, sentences that have those certain emotions. It is just so freakin’ cool PS if you’re an angst queen like me, it’s just gonna say sad most of the time lmfao.

Grammerly is a google chrome app that can help you correct your grammer way better than the autopmatic spell corrector.

Readable is a website that you can paste your writing into and it will analyze it and tell you cliches you have, or if your sentences are too long, ect.

OTHER USEFUL/COOL WEBSITES TO HELP WITH RP

CopyPasteCharacter is great for all those symbols that you might need for anything. It has like all of them and by clicking on them you automatically copy them.

Aestheticizer this is great for any kind of fancy script. Put in words or sentences and it will convert them into any kind of fancy text. This is awesome if you use the new fancy tags trend because then you don’t have to copy and paste every character.

Discord is pretty much an online alternative to skype. Create a chat group and invite people and just chat ooc or ic!

Evernote is a notebook organizing website that I use to help me keep track of EVERYTHING. Tag names, things I owe, plot ideas, everything!

#dearindies #tumblr rp guide #rp guide #this is still an archived blog this is just posted here because the theme on this blog is easier to read and this is a long post

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sage-nebula · 7 years

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@mywaywardcupcake --- Thank you so much for reblogging one of my fics recently! (This one here---snippets from Tilling a Grave to Keep Things Level.) I’m sorry I missed your initial reblog; my first salty meme that I made for the twentieth anniversary PokéAni movie has been filling my notifications, and tumblr ends up eating some notifications when you receive too many. I’m sorry about that!

That said, I read your tags, and---there is more to that fic, but it’s unfinished. It’s currently resting at 16 pages / 8317 words. I can’t say when it will be completed, but here is another snippet since you were interested:

It was the work he put into this that led him tracking down Jounouchi that Saturday after school—well, that and the fact that Jounouchi had been AWOL the previous day, something Hirutani was not about to let slide. Hirutani found him over by the bike rack, steering his bike away from it, and although Hirutani felt a brief note of confusion for why Jounouchi was choosing to walk alongside his bike rather than ride it, he had his unspoken question answered a second later when he noticed Honda Hiroto by Jounouchi’s side.

Honda. Of course. If Hirutani had to guess, that was the reason why Jounouchi had ditched on the previous day’s activities, too. If that was the case, Hirutani couldn’t claim to be surprised.

As much as he wanted to lay into Jounouchi for ditching him, and as much as he wanted to chew him out for not even bothering to check in today as well, Hirutani swallowed his temper and made his way over. He caught up to them as they made it back to the main path, and circled around so that he was standing in front of Jounouchi’s bike. Honda noticed him immediately and stiffened, but Jounouchi didn’t look up until Hirutani placed his foot against his bike’s tire to impede its progress.

“Oh. Hey,” Jounouchi said, and it took actual effort for Hirutani to not roll his eyes at how casual he looked and sounded.

“You have plans tonight,” he said instead, and while Honda scowled (no doubt thinking all sorts of things he wouldn’t dare to actually say while Hirutani was standing right there, Hirutani was sure), Jounouchi frowned a little, looking confused.

“Uh, not . . . really, no. I don’t really have anything going on. Actually, I was thinking—”

“No, I’m telling you, you have plans,” Hirutani said. Honda exhaled sharply and looked away, while Jounouchi raised his eyebrows.

“Really?” he asked, and he leaned against his bike’s handlebars. “Says who?”

“Me. Who do you think?” Hirutani said. Jounouchi snorted and smirked a little, and it was only because Hirutani knew Jounouchi wouldn’t—couldn’t, really, but at least wouldn’t in this case—say no that kept him from resisting the impulse to knock the smirk off his face. “Listen. Kirishima is throwing a house party tonight since his parents are out of town for the weekend. Not only will everyone from his group be there, but I’m sure there will be plenty of others, too—others that we can secure tonight so we don’t have to do the extra legwork later. We’re going.”

Jounouchi, to his credit, did look interested. “Will there be chicks there?”

This time, Hirutani did roll his eyes. “What the hell do you think? Obviously, but—”

“And it’s gonna be a big thing, right? A ton of people will be crashing it, right?”

“Probably. Do you—”

“Hey, Honda.” Jounouchi looked over at Honda, who looked a bit startled at being so abruptly pulled into the conversation, though probably not as startled as Hirutani felt that Jounouchi actually had the audacity to talk to Honda right in front of him. “Wanna go to a party?”

Hirutani didn’t know where to begin—whether he should point out that Honda clearly wasn’t invited, or that Jounouchi didn’t need to sit there and invite someone when it was obvious the two of them were going to the party for a reason—but before he had a chance to say anything, Honda’s eyes darted to him for a second before he looked back at Jounouchi with an expression that suggested he had swallowed a live insect.

“No thanks,” he said.

Hirutani was grateful that Honda at least knew his place, but the fact that Jounouchi actually looked a little disappointed did nothing to lessen Hirutani’s quickly souring mood.

“Okay. Suit yourself,” Jounouchi said, before he looked back at Hirutani. “Sounds cool to me, man. I’m in.”

“I know,” Hirutani said, and Honda rolled his eyes and looked away with another bitchy huff as Hirutani said, “We’ll meet by the station at nine thirty. You can tell your old man you’re spending the night at my place.”

Jounouchi scoffed. “Like he gives a damn where I am. He’ll probably be passed out by the time I leave, anyway.”

“Even better.”

By this point, the crowds had mostly thinned, with the only stragglers being those who had to cross the schoolyard to make it to their after-school clubs or sports teams. They still had about six hours to go before the party, and there was plenty they could do in that time—plenty that Hirutani wanted to do, anyway—but before he could open his mouth to say anything, Jounouchi beat him to the punch.

“Anyway, I’ll see you later. We’ve got things to do before the party.” He jerked his head toward Honda, who glanced over at Hirutani, but said nothing.

Hirutani clenched his jaw as he looked at Jounouchi. “What things?”

Jounouchi shrugged. “Just stuff, don’t worry about it. I’ll meet you by the station later, okay?”

Though he would be well within his rights to point out that, no, this was not okay considering that Jounouchi had ditched out on him the previous day, Hirutani knew that he would at least have Jounouchi later that night, and what they were set to accomplish at Kirishima’s was more important than whatever petty bullshit Jounouchi had going on with Honda. “Fine. Don’t be late.”

Jounouchi rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. C’mon, Honda, let’s go.”

Hirutani stepped aside so that Jounouchi could steer his bike past him, and he watched the two of them head toward the school gate, Honda suddenly looking a lot more animated (but no less pissy) as he said something to Jounouchi, who shook his head as he replied.

In a few more months, they would be done with middle school. About four months, actually—less than a half a year. Once they graduated, Hirutani and Jounouchi would go to Rintama High, and Honda would go to whatever pissant school he had chosen. Hirutani didn’t know which school it was, and frankly, so long as it wasn’t Rintama (and he felt confident in thinking that it wasn’t), he didn’t care. The important thing was that, in four months time, Jounouchi and Honda would be separated by different schools, and at that point, Honda wouldn’t be a problem for Hirutani to contend with anymore. He would finally have Jounouchi where he wanted him.

Four months. He just had to make it through the next four months.

Aside from that, I saw your note about liking Hirutani’s characterization, and thank you!! In all honesty, I’ve fleshed out Hirutani a lot, and I don’t feel it makes me arrogant to say that I’ve put more care and effort into the king bitch himself (as a friend of mine once called him) than Takahashi ever did. That said, if you liked his characterization there, then I have written quite a few other fics with him, if you’re interested. (And if you’ve already read them and I’m wasting your time, I’m sorry! It’s just that, like I said, Tumblr has been eating my notifications over the past few days, orz.) Those fics are:

A Spark to Ignite --- Jounouchi caught Hirutani’s eye after school one day when they were thirteen. The problem---for Jounouchi, anyway---was that Hirutani never had been very keen on letting things go. [Pre-Canon]

It Will Be Held Against You --- Hirutani intends for Jounouchi to join his gang again, but of course, Jounouchi has always been stubborn. They may have to spend some time in negotiations first. [This one serves as a prequel to chapter 11 of the original manga, but because of that it can also serve as a prequel to . . .]

Whispers in the Dark --- When Yuugi finds Jounouchi with Hirutani and his old gang and pleads with him to come back, Jounouchi forcibly pushes him away. This one decision leads to a downward spiral, but then, Jounouchi will do anything to protect those he loves, no matter what happens to him in the process. [Canon Divergence from Ch. 11 in the manga]

Bound to Leave a Mark --- Hirutani always likes it when he leaves a scar, but sometimes the most significant ones happen by a pure stroke of impulse. [Pre-Canon]

Not a Fan of Puppeteers --- The Millennium Items are stolen from Yuugi after Battle City, and Hirutani ends up with the Millennium Rod. This ends about as well as one would expect.

A Harmless Chat --- On his way home from work one evening, Yuugi is "offered" a ride home by Hirutani, and an invitation to talk. Yuugi accepts, but as anticipated, the talk isn't something he wants to hear. [Post-canon] [Established Wishshipping]

Conversations and Promises --- Yuugi finally tells Jounouchi about the conversation he had with Hirutani, and Jounouchi takes it about as well as you would expect. [Post-canon] [Follow-up to A Harmless Chat]

Hirutani isn’t actually in that last one, but it’s a sequel to a Hirutani fic, so I figured it was worth listing, anyway.

Anyway, I hope to have Tilling a Grave to Keep Things Level finished eventually, and I’m really grateful that you enjoy both my writing and my characterization of Hirutani, because I’ve put a lot of thought and care into him, bastard coated bastard that he is. :) Thank you!!

#mywaywardcupcake #i hope it's okay that i made a post like this #but i wanted to reply somehow

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