#also i feel really bad for tory like her home life fucking sucks

[magnetic-rose]

characters who have redeemed themselves in season 3:

- demetri

- daniel

- sam

characters who i still love but they are on THIN ICE right now:

- hawk

- tory

characters who i wish could get written off the show completely like i really fucking can’t with them:

- robby

- kyler

#paloma watches cobra kai #i know hawk is going to redeem himself i saw that spoiler so #also i feel really bad for tory like her home life fucking sucks #it doesn't excuse her actions but if every other male character can get redeemed then so could she #it is pretty painful seeing her get manipulated by kreese so effortlessly #and daniel is now... the love of my life??? how did we get here #i am LOVING him this season #johnny... it took this fool eight whole episodes to get his shit together #that kind of annoyed me #also like #as much as i love the bond between miguel and johnny #the fact that their bonding happened at the expense of johnny's relationship with robby HIS ACTUAL SON #left a bitter taste in my mouth #i don't even like robby but oh my god johnny fucking sucks and is such a defeatist when it comes to him #that being said johnny is still my baby daddy

[islareeveswriting]

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Progress is better than perfection.

Slowly, but very surely, Molly was coming to terms with that concept. For as long as she could remember, she’d been a perfectionist, always striving for more. There was nothing wrong with that, at least she never thought there was, and everyone had always told her it was a good thing - it meant she was driven, determined, had passion. It was all true, Molly didn’t doubt that. However, recent events had taught her that maybe perfection didn’t really exist. At least not so simply. Perhaps it looked different for everyone, and even more than that, perhaps it looked different in each situation, different every day. Perfection in her uni work, wasn’t the same as perfection in her love life, or home life, or her happiness. And perhaps progress could look a little like perfection if she wasn’t so reliant on perfection being the finished article.

Of course the progress she really wanted wasn’t Harry stood in a boxing ring, hands encased in heavy black gloves, bouncing on the balls of his feet as hits came his way. In fact that looked like the last thing she wanted. What she wanted was for Harry to be able to walk faraway from anywhere that caused him any kind of harm, but that just wasn’t on the cards, seeing as he was adamant the only way Aaron was going away was if Harry gave him the fight he’d been promised. The fight Harry had promised him the night Molly had walked out of his flat and left him alone.

If there was something to be said for it, Molly supposed at least Harry was training in a proper boxing club, with proper trainers, who knew what they were talking about, and were training him to fight not just to punch, but also to avoid serious injury. It was clear that hadn’t been a consideration before. The first time Harry stepped in the ring with Martin, two days ago, it was very obvious that all Harry had ever worried about once he had a pair of gloves on was getting hits on his opponent. He wasn’t actually thinking, just fighting, just hitting. There was no thought about how his movements left him open for attack. He was clumsy, never planning ahead, never thinking about anything other than getting his fists into someone. Even Molly could see Harry had a lot to learn, she didn’t need Martin to say it, but he had.

In Harry’s defense, he was picking it up quickly, he was good at it, he had the head for it when he actually did think about it. But that didn’t make Molly feel any better, because who he was stepping in the ring with, didn’t. He would be exactly like Harry was when he’d first stood opposite Martin. All Aaron would want was to hurt Harry, and all the thinking ahead and mindfulness in the world wouldn’t stop him. It was the second time Molly had stood on the sidelines to watch Harry train, and he was definitely more equipped than the first. Only he was equipped for the drills Martin shouted at him, or the hits Martin threw. Molly couldn’t help but fear he was nowhere near equipped for the viciousness of what Aaron could, and, no doubt, would swing his way in two days time.

The new club was smart, clean, tidy. Nothing about it felt seedy or dodgy. There were a few punch bags hung from the ceiling, a weight training section, a few machines that Molly didn’t want to guess what they did, apart from the obvious stationary bike and treadmill, and the centre ring where Harry seemed to spend most of his time. Molly didn’t feel uncomfortable in the setting, the only thing that made her feel off kilter was the reason she was there watching Harry break a serious sweat as he threw heavy punches into Martin’s pads as the older, slightly greying but in serious shape, man called numbers at Harry.

Molly hadn’t been there long, perhaps twenty minutes, stood at the edge of the ring, and her eyes hadn’t left him as he seemed to dance around the square. Harry had acknowledged her with a smile, but Martin quickly called his attention back, reminding him he couldn’t afford to get distracted for even a second. Harry had told Molly, Martin was the best man for the job. He knew people like Aaron, knew how they worked, he’d come from a similar background, started the club to get kids like Harry out of bad places. If only Harry had found Martin earlier perhaps they’d find themselves somewhere very different.

There was a heavy sweat leaking through Harry’s t-shirt, turning the worn grey material much darker as it seeped down his back. Hair from his tied back bun was pinging into tight ringlets around his forehead and sticking the skin like it was glued there. Molly could see he was getting tired, his arms were getting lazy, and his breathing heavy enough that Molly could hear it over the music, and Martin’s shouts and her own head, which was perhaps the loudest thing in the room for her.

All she’d done, for as many days as it had been since Harry told her he was going to train for the fight, everyday after work, was overthink everything. Every move she’d made, every word she’d said, everything that had led them to the point they were at. Nothing made her want to walk away, but there wasn’t a part of her that wanted to see Harry go through with it. Even when Martin praised him, and told him he was doing a good job before lowering his arms.

“You ok?” Molly looked up from where her eyes had dropped to the blue mat under Harry’s feet, to Harry. He was lowering down to a crouch, undoing the straps that held his gloves in pace. The skin underneath was red and marked from how tight it had been, but Molly knew that would be nothing to how tight the bandages underneath were.

“I hate this,” Molly admitted quietly, and it wasn’t the first time. Harry reacted much the same, just dipping his head as he unwound the sweat stained ribbons from his hands. There was nothing to say, nothing he could say to make it better, it was the way it was, and Molly knew that too. “You sure there’s no other way?” Molly asked, like she had everyday since he’d told her what he was planning to do. Harry lifted his eyes, looking at her through his lashes, bottom lip pouting a little before he shook his head.

“Lol, you know there’s not, I’ve told you,” Harry sighed, and Molly nodded, her head dropping. “Once it’s done, it will be done though, yeah?” Harry reminded her tipping her head.

“Are you sure though? Aaron doesn’t seem like the sort of guy who just b-

“I’ve said, he will fuck off after, so he will, ok?” Harry’s voice was sterner than Molly would have liked, it made her recoil, frowning up at him and pushing his hand away from her face. They just stared at each other for a few seconds, Molly sucking her cheeks in and Harry kissing his teeth.

“You seem very sure about it,” Molly pointed out, narrowing her eyes. Harry just shook his head, eyes dropping to his hands, refocused on his bandages, unravelling them carefully and neatly. His knuckles were red, a little bruised from all the training he’d been doing, and a little swollen, but Molly had been assured that was normal. There was something over Harry’s face, lingering in his lowered eyes, that Molly recognised and she didn’t like it. It was the sight of him almost literally biting his tongue, she’d seen it before, and she hated it. “So you gonna tell me whatever it is you’ve decided I don’t need to know, or we going to do that whole thing again where you keep it from me?” Harry didn’t look up as Molly folded her arms across her chest, just let his jaw hang slack, slightly off centre, hands frozen on the last of his wrapping.

“How am I ever meant to keep secrets from you when you can see right through me?” Harry smirked, finally lifting his eyes as he shook the last of his bandages of and began to fold them, hands working without needing his eyes or even really his mind. That part he was well rehearsed in. Unwrapping his hands and tidying up after himself.

“You’re not meant to,” Molly grumbled, and Harry cocked an eyebrow. “Not about this Harry, I need to know what’s going on, stop trying to keep me in the dark, it’s not fair,” Molly forced, and Harry sighed, swallowing and shaking his head a little.

“There’s just somethings I’d rather you didn’t know ok?” Harry told her, getting back to his feet and beginning to clamber through the ropes to hop out of the ring.

“No, not ok, not even a little bit ok,” Molly told him a little frantically, but entirely frustrated. “Just tell me, at this point, I think I can take it,” Molly pointed out quietly. She watched his eyes move to her covered neck, the zipped sweatshirt she was wearing done up to the top. No one seemed to question her choice of outfit, more appropriate for Autumn than the warm weather they were experiencing, though she had got a few double glances. Even Lauren hadn’t questioned it when Molly had seen her the day before. Thankfully Jimmy had decided to go home in between his last two exams, because Molly knew for a certainty that if anyone was going to ask why Molly, someone who loved summer clothes, was wearing jeans and a jumper, it would be her best friend.

“I’m going to lose the fight,” Harry told her, calmly, his voice still and monotonous, eyes locked on Molly, waiting for what he was saying to register. At first she just frowned, staring up at him, trying to compute.

“What do you-?” But then it clicked and her face fell, head beginning to wobble slowly from side to side. “Harry, no, you can’t, are you mad? He’ll kill you,” Molly pointed out, as Harry’s words sunk in and she realised all the training in the world would make no difference. “You’re seriously telling me this fight is fixed?” Harry nodded, slowly, still as calm despite Molly’s rising tone, yet lowered volume. “Then why are we here? What’s the point?” Molly asked, laughing sarcastically, shrugging, hands flying around wildly.

“Because I still want to put in a good fight,” Harry told her, and Molly scoffed, looking down at the floor as her eyes began to fill. “Lolly, it’s going to be fine,” Harry tried to promise, stepping closer, but Molly only stepped away.

“How? How is it going to be fine? He told me he’d kill you, and you’re going to let him,” Molly reminded Harry. Aaron’s words, his threats, had bounced around her head every second of the day since he’d whispered them in her ear. It was all she could really remember fully, everything else, before, after and in between, seemed like a blur.

“He’s not going to kill me Molly, if you’d just listen-” Molly cut Harry of with another scoff and she saw the way it wound Harry up, the way he strained his neck as it crawled over him. “Listen to me for fucks sake, you don’t know what you’re talking about so just let me explain,” Harry seethed stepping closer and taking her wrists gently in her hands. “You’re so fucking stubborn, if you’d just give me a chance, you’d realise I do actually know what I’m doing,” Harry told her, and Molly quietened, shoulders dropping as she fell back a little. “I’m going to let him win, it means he’ll get a good payout because odds are on me to win, understand?” Molly didn’t react. “Part of the deal is he doesn’t actually knock me out, I’ll just go down in the sixth and that will be it, ok?” Molly didn’t really know what any of that meant, and she just swallowed. “He’s not going to kill me, he’ll get what he wants, and I can walk away ok?”

“You trust him, the man who did this to me, just be clear,” Molly told him bouncing her wrists, one of them still a little yellow in colour from Aaron’s grip.

“I don’t have a choice,” Harry reminded her and she went limp then, dropping her head, chewing at her lip. Harry sighed and let go of her wrists, wrapping arms around her and pulling her close. “I’m sorry,” He whispered, kissing her head, and Molly just shook her head, sniffing back as a couple of rogue tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. Her mind started to unravel, there had to be something, some other way. She went over everything. Went down every alley, turned every page, rethought everything she’d said and done. There had to be something.

And then it clicked. Suddenly and from nowhere, in Harry’s voice, stood in his bathroom.

I need you to report this Lolly.

“I need you to take me to the police station,” Molly mumbled lifting her head more to herself than anything else, and pulling Harry’s arms from around her. She didn’t look up, just moved to get Harry’s bag, lifting it onto her shoulder. Harry just stood and watched her move, like a woman possessed, like she’d forgotten herself and everything around her. Like the only thing that mattered was getting to the police station.

“What?” Harry frowned staring after her, as she collected her own bag, full with lecture notes, and essay work and all manner of things that should have been filling her head in the final weeks before deadline.

“I need to report him,” Molly spoke, beginning to head for the door, only glancing over to Harry for a second, but he saw her hand move, without thinking, to her neck. Harry chased after her then, taking a few quick long legged strides to her. Harry reached for her wrist, as her other arm began to push the door of the gym open. It stopped her in her tracks, and her head twisted quickly to him.

“You don’t have to do that Lolly, you don’t want to, you don’t feel ready, and that’s fine,” Harry implored, the image of her scared and backed into his bathroom wall too burned in his mind to ever forget, but especially not yet. There was a little fear in her eyes, but more than that there was a fire, a determination as she stared back at Harry.

“I want to, can you please take me,” Molly insisted. There was no room for argument, Molly was adamant, and what she needed was Harry to just agree, and be by her side. So Harry nodded, let his hand slide down her arm, to take her hand.

“Ok,” He breathed. “Just let me get changed first?” Molly nodded and passed him his bag, taking a seat by the door while Harry disappeared off to the changing room.

As Molly sat, she tried not to think too much about having to go over what had happened to her in detail with someone she didn’t know. Talking to Harry about it had been hard enough, and it was why she’d been so adamant she didn’t want to tell anyone else. There was a feeling of shame, and guilt, maybe she’d made some bad decisions that had led to what happened. There was fear of what people would say and think about her. There was a fear of how Aaron might lash back. But he’d already done his worst. What more could he do? Harry was already prepared to let him win the fight, to be black and blue all over to get rid of him, and what was worse than that realistically?

When it was all out in the open, there was no way he could squirm his way out of it. He wouldn’t be able to get to Harry, or Lola, or herself. And Harry would only ever have to visit this boxing club, train a little, get a little sweaty to blow off a bit of steam after a hard day or minor frustration. That she could cope with. Having to be in a room with Aaron again, while he threw punches at Harry, and Harry let him, the thought alone was unbearable. She didn’t know why it had taken her so long to realise what she had to do, but she knew now, and she supposed it was better late than never.

All the way from the gym to the station, Molly chewed at her nails, not caring for the fairly fresh paint on them. Her mind was working in overdrive, trying to remember every little detail of what had happened, making sure none of what she said crossed over and made her look like a liar. She was trying to remember all the words, but she’d found afterwards that all she really remembered him saying was how he was going to kill Harry, and how he knew about Lola. They were the things that had kept her awake at night recently, and they were what played over and over in her head. Everything else seemed fuzzy, even how hard he’d held her and touched her seemed hard to remember, but only because she’d been working so hard to forget it.

Now she was doing the opposite, and it seemed counterproductive to moving past it, but she knew she was going to get questioned hard, so she had to be sure of herself, she couldn’t flounder or hesitate. So Molly just kept answering the questions she imagined they’d ask making sure she sounded as confident as possible.

“Are you sure about this Lolly? I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything you’re not ready to do, it’s fine,” Harry checked once he’d turned the car engine off, shifting in his seat to face her properly. There was a whole world of emotions in Harry’s face as he stared back at Molly. No matter how many times Harry made sure she was ok, and Molly told him he was, the guilt in his eyes never subsided. That might have been the worst part for Molly. The bruises would fade, the cuts would heal, and eventually Molly would learn not to glance over her shoulder at every turn, but Harry’s guilt seemed as strong and resilient as ever.

“I’m sure, I want to do this, it’s the right thing to do,” Molly nodded. Harry moved forward and kissed her. They didn’t say another word as they walked through the car park towards the double doors, paint chipping and faded. Molly felt tense as Harry pushed the door open and stood aside to let her in first. His eyes were glued to her as she walked past him and towards the front desk, and he stood by her side, taking her hand again wrapping his fingers around hers and just squeezing them as she explained why she was there.

Molly’s voice was strong, held tight at either end by a riddance of emotion. She became a statue, still and calm, until they were asked to sit and wait and she began to shiver. Her leg bounced, heel hitting the floor and tapping against the mass produced plastic tiles underneath them. Harry just watched her as she seemed to be processing things, staring into space and blinking, biting her jaw together. The man behind the desk had said someone would be with them shortly, but it hadn’t been shortly by Molly’s definition or Harry’s, the time seemed to be dragging on and the more it dragged the more Harry wanted to take Molly out of there and faraway, somewhere safe, somewhere she could forget about what had happened and move on properly without having to go through it, without Aaron peering over them all the time.

“Miss Thomson.” Molly looked up then to a friendly faced, middle aged woman, dark hair tied into a neat bun and a nude lip gloss glistening under the bright lights of the station. Molly nodded and stood. “My name’s Jane, I’m a DI here, just want to have a chat with you about the report you’ve made, nothing to worry about,” Jane was doing her best job to reassure Molly, but it wasn’t really working. Inside Molly’s tummy was turning and she felt nauseous, her palms were getting clammy and her throat was dry. But she nodded nonetheless. “Would you like to come with me?” Molly hesitated and looked back at Harry nervously. “Your friend can come with you, that’s fine,” Jane smiled, and Molly visibly relaxed, just a little, but enough to notice before together they followed Jane back through the doors she’d come through.

The place was cold, but not just because of lack of heating. Molly felt goose pimples forming under her jumper as they wound through corridors behind Jane. Other police officers, ones in uniforms, some in plain clothes like Jane, some in suits, passed them, but Molly didn’t even acknowledge them, certain she could feel every pair of eyes in the place gauging into her.

Finally they came to a door, that Jane unlocked and let Harry and Molly into first. The walls were almost grey, but the chairs were soft and red. Molly knew if her skin touched them they’d make her itch, but luckily she was fully covered. There was low table covered in leaflets but Molly didn’t take them in, and a water cooler in the corner. It wasn’t the dark, dingy interview room Molly had been expecting, but still she didn’t feel easy as she took the seat nearest the wall and Harry the other. Molly glanced at Harry as Jane took the remaining seat opposite them, taking out a notepad and pen from somewhere. He had his hands on his thighs, and he was looking back at Molly, offering a reassuring, supportive smile. Part of Molly had panicked they wouldn’t let Harry come with her, so she was glad he was there beside her.

“Do you mind if I call you Molly?” Jane asked, and Molly shook her head. “Ok, great, I just want to start by saying anything you tell me in this room is in strict confidence, at this point, nothing you tell me will be shared until we decide the course of action, is that ok Molly?” That time Molly nodded. “My role is to just talk to you today and have a chat about what it is you want to do and what you feel comfortable doing, I just want to make sure you feel safe at home?”

“Yeah, fine, this happened in the street, outside where I work,” Molly told Jane, and Jane nodded.

“That’s fine Molly, currently you don’t feel in any danger, you’re ok, and you feel safe to talk to me today?” Jane questioned, and again Molly nodded. “That’s great, ok, I’m just going to explain what’s about to happen,” Jane started, before telling Molly how she was going to record their conversation and how it might be used in evidence if Molly wished to proceed with pressing charges, but there was no pressure to do anything she didn’t want to. Molly already knew what she’d be doing, but she just nodded along as Jane spoke, taking it all in, though it felt like it didn’t really sink through. “Is that all ok with you Molly?”

“Yes that’s fine,” Molly assured.

“Sir, can I ask your relationship to Molly before we begin?” Jane asked, turning to Harry. Molly did the same, sure that was the moment she asked him to leave. They weren’t blood, they weren’t married, in fact Molly still wasn’t sure what they were. It still wasn’t a conversation they’d had.

“Molly’s my girlfriend,” Harry told Jane, and Molly swore she felt her heart flip as his eyes flicked to hers and he let a corner of his lip curl up at her. Molly just smiled back at him and licked her lips. It was a strange time to feel the way she did, but there was certainly a sudden buzz in her thanks to Harry’s words. “We haven’t been together long though,” Harry added. Molly could have laughed, but she didn’t. It certainly wasn’t the place for that.

“No problem, just need to know before I start the recording,” Jane informed Harry, who gave her a little nod. Jane leant forward and pressed record on the tape machine, it whirred to life and Molly instantly felt anxious, like anything that had been left after Harry’s words washed out and nervous energy washed in. Jane told the tape the date, the time, and introduced who was in the room, before lifting her eyes to Molly. She asked her when it had happened, and the location first, and Molly gave them both clinically. “In your own time Molly, can you tell me what happened?” At first Molly just swallowed and nodded, taking a deep breath that did nothing to help her find any stillness left inside her, but then she spoke.

It came out slowly. At first it was steady as Molly walked herself back through what had happened quietly. The more she spoke though the quicker and more frenzied her talking got. It was hard to keep her cool when in her head she could feel him on her and hear his voice in her the deepest part of her mind. It made her feel nauseous, and it made her shake. Her mouth felt dry but her eyes felt wet, she knew she was going to cry. Molly couldn’t look up at anyone, not at Harry, and not at Jane either, she didn’t want to know how they were looking at her, she was sure she could see the disappointment in their eyes anyway, wondering why she hadn’t reported it sooner, said something sooner, why she hadn’t followed Liam’s advice and reported Aaron after their initial interaction in the bar, why had she stepped out into the alleyway on her own in the first place? They were things she’d asked herself over the past few days, especially now she was sat there, letting it all spill out, so she couldn’t blame them for wondering the same and judging her accordingly.

“Ok Molly, you’re doing a great job, you’re ok,” Jane assured, and Molly glanced up then meeting Jane’s eyes. It looked like she meant it, but Molly didn’t feel like she was doing a good job, it felt like she’d left it too late, like all she’d made was bad decisions, and what she was doing wasn’t fixing anything. For months she’d begged Harry not to fight, made him promise her he’d never go back, and then she’d all but asked him too, told him it was ok. He was willing to do that for her, but she couldn’t tell anyone why.

“You ok baby?” Harry asked, reaching out for Molly’s hand and taking it. There was a gentle squeeze, Molly watched him do it, his hand tensing around hers, before she looked at him and nodded, biting her lips together. “You still sure you want to do this?” He asked quieter, keeping her eyes in his, somehow making her feel like it was just him and her. Again Molly nodded, and Harry followed suit, still just staring back in her eyes until Jane spoke.

“Molly, do you still have wounds from this attack?” Jane asked, drawing Molly and Harry’s attention. Within seconds though Molly felt Harry’s eyes on her, and his hand seemed to tighten a little. Molly nodded quietly. “Would you feel comfortable to show us?” Molly hesitated, breath halting for a second. It was possible the lingering reminder of what had happened that was worse, it was hard to move on when it still hurt to twist her wrist, or touch her thigh, or sometimes breathe too deep. “If you wish to go forward and press charges, which remember there is no pres-”

“I want to,” Molly interrupted quickly, from nowhere, taking even her by surprise. “I want to press charges,” Molly affirmed a little more confidently, clearing her throat and nodding a little.

“Ok,” Jane nodded. “In that case, we will have to move this somewhere more formal, we will need to take photos of your injuries, and we will need to take blood samples, fingerprints and all that stuff,” Jane told Molly, and she nodded again. Jane went on to explain exactly what would happen from that point, Molly sat quietly, her hand held in Harry’s, taking it all in as calmly as she could, trying not to feel overwhelmed, trying to keep in all under control.

Molly went through the motions like it was an out of body experience. She gave her statement alone, Harry gave one alone too, about when Molly had turned up at his. Molly stood in her underwear and felt like a mannequin as photos were taken of the bruises and marks on her skin, in an almost silent, sterile room. She gave samples of everything they asked, and she did it all without shedding a tear or even flinching. It didn’t feel like it was her it was happening to, it felt like she was just stood outside of her body, watching a drama about someone else who just happened to look like here.

When it was all over Molly left the police station with Harry. They got to his car, they walked in silence, and it was only when they were stood by his car, with the passenger side door open, that Harry wrapped his arms around her and she wept, sobbed, quietly, but sobs that wracked her body. It was almost relief, there was definitely a sense of something that made her feel lighter, but there was more to come and she knew that it might get harder, and feel more suffocating before it truly felt any better. She breathed Harry in, finding an escape in him and his comfort. The warmth of him, the smell of him, the feeling of his breath and skin, was everything she needed. It was easier to believe he was right when he said everything was going to be ok, when he made her feel the way he did.

“I’m sorry I told you it was ok for you to fight, that was wrong of me, after everything we’ve been through,” Molly spoke, twisting her head and resting it on Harry’s chest. Her voice was quiet, but simply because it was drained, she was drained, physically, emotionally, mentally, she’d never felt so hollowed out.

“Lolly, you don’t need to be sorry I understand,” Harry told her, squeezing her just a little.

“What do you mean?” Molly questioned, raising her head, frowning up at Harry, not sure what there was to understand.

“You were scared at first, you didn’t want to talk about it, and that’s ok, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Molly rolled her eyes at that because she couldn’t agree. Being so adamant about not reporting what Aaron had done, about it being ok for Harry to fight him, she knew that was the wrong thing to do, and she hated how long it had taken her to realise that fully. “You haven’t, don’t let anyone make you feel like how you handled this is wrong, no one has the right, no one was in your position apart from you, and you had to handle it how was best for you, and you have, that’s all that matters, that’s all I’m worried about, as long as you’re ok with everything that’s happening, that is all that matters, ok?” Harry told her, his hands still linked behind her back, resting on the lowest part, where her spine curved as she looked up at him.

“You’re too good sometimes, I swear,” Molly sighed, and Harry just let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head at her. Obviously he was thinking that if it wasn’t for him they wouldn’t even be in the mess they were in, Molly could see it in his eyes, but she wasn’t really looking it like that. If she’d have just reported it when Harry had first mentioned it, they wouldn’t be in the mess they were in, as far as she was concerned at least.

“Let’s get you home, get some rest,” Harry suggested, quickly pecking her lips with his, just a little, before letting go of her and nodding towards the car door.

“Will you stay with me?” Molly asked, sliding into the car, though she really needn’t have. Of course he would stay. Of course he would do whatever she wanted him to. He thought he’d made that much clear over and over again, but still she felt the need to ask for his time.

Once they were home, and curled up on Molly’s bed, it didn’t take much for her to fall asleep. In fact it was surprisingly easy, easier than it had been for what felt like months, but was of course barely weeks. With Harry tucked up behind her, his chest on her back and his heartbeat against her spine, his knees folded under hers, and his arm rested over his middle, it was very easy for Molly to give into the overwhelming exhaustion she was feeling. It was a peaceful, dreamless sleep, the kind she hadn’t had since before Clive had died. There was nothing in her head to disturb her, and so she slept through easily for a good few hours.

When she woke up, she was warm, comfortable, cosy, and actually felt well rested. The room was dark, the sun had set and there were no lights on in Molly’s room. She sighed blissfully before rolling onto her back and twisting her head to face Harry. His arm was still draped over her lazily, his fingers hanging and brushing her waist where the strappy t-shirt she’d changed into had rolled up. No one was home, and no one was going to see her apart from Harry, so she thought nothing of finally taking off the jumper. In the dark all she could see was Harry’s eyes glistening, and she liked that was all he could probably see of her as well. He couldn’t see the marks that seemed to refuse to fade on her neck, the things that always drew his eye, made him swallow on nothing and chew on his lip, staring at the marks with heavy lidded eyes.

For a few seconds they just blinked at one another, bathing in the darkness and the silence. Molly flicked her eyes to Harry’s lips, even in the dark she swore she could see how plump and perfect they were, how irresistibly kissable they were. Harry seemed to read her mind, moving forward just a little and pressing those lips into hers, cushioning one another softly at first. But slowly Harry’s arm moved tighter around Molly’s back his fingers gripping at her, tips pressing into her skin heavily, encouraging her closer. Molly let her lead her, let him pull her closer, let his other arm slide under her and maneuver her body on top of his. She used his chest to prop herself up, legs knotting into Harry’s, almost every inch of them pressed together.

There was a heat between them that hadn’t really been there before. It was different to anything before, far more intense, far more electric, and somehow far more primal. Molly felt like she was working purely on instinct, like there was no real thought to what she was doing. Her body was driving her, and Harry’s responses were the fuel.  Harry’s breathing was heavy through his nose, breathing deep as Molly moved above him, getting comfortable, and simultaneously grinding her body against his. There was a stumble as Molly lifted her knee a little too close for comfort, Harry freezing, but they quickly adjusted and the kiss that resumed was only more heated for the break.

There was an understanding that Harry hadn’t been with anyone since Ellie, but it didn’t seem to phase him. His tongue crept out of his mouth to Molly’s, nudging hers just lightly, it was nothing forceful, but he didn’t forget it was there, tickling the underside of her top lip just a little before disappearing again and leaving her wanting more. There was a glimmer of hesitation, and it pulled Molly back, out of the feeling inside her, the sparking and jumping flames, to who it was she with. Who it really was she was with.

“You ok?” She asked quietly. The room was still as dark as the sky outside, but somehow she knew they were looking in each others eyes, finding the glittery parts and staring back. They were the only ones in the room, in the house, but it felt like they could have been the only ones in the world in that moment, or at least the only ones that mattered to them.

“I’m fine,” Harry assured, just as softly, one of his hands lifting from Molly’s back to tuck one side of her hair behind her ear. His fingers were delicate, everything about him was delicate and gentle, taking his time, being careful not to waste a second he was that close to Molly.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready,” Molly told him, and she saw Harry shake his head, his hand trailing down her neck and over her shoulders, raining over her until he was holding her hip.

“I want to,” He promised and they didn’t say another word, Molly simply nodded before ducking her head to one side and catching his lips again. Harry had missed the weight of her on him anyway, but this was different and it was dreamy in a completely different way to her head resting on his chest, her legs tangled with his, her hands on his stomach. “I meant what I said earlier, I mean if that’s ok with you, I’d like to call you my girlfriend,” Harry bumbled pulling back for a second to try and catch her eye, obviously somehow a little nervous. Molly giggled and nodded.

“That’s ok with me,” Molly affirmed, leaning back into him. There was a deep intake of breath from both of them as their bodies seemed to push closer together.

Molly sat up on her knees placed either side of Harry’s hips, her jeans pulled tight over her thighs, but for the first time it didn’t seem to aggravate the mouldy flesh underneath. Her mind was miles from any stain on her body. With her eyes on Harry’s, she worked at his belt, deft fingers pulling the clasp apart before unclipping the buttons. She felt Harry steel himself against her touch, muscles going rigid as she lifted his t-shirt slowly up his body, rising up so she could pull it over his head. His hair brushed over her hands, and combed her fingers into it, lifting his face to hers and kissing him softly.

Harry groaned wantingly as she pulled away, and Molly could help but giggle against his skin as she pressed a kiss on his jaw, leading to his ear, knowing all the most sensitive places to leave the warmth of her breath ghosting over him, and the remnants of a kiss firing through his veins. She moved slowly down his body, over his shoulders, his collarbones and straight down the centre of him. Over his chest bone, down the body of his butterfly until she was at the waistband of his boxers. She glanced up to him through her eyelashes, and she could see him looking down at her, biting his lip tightly and watching her every move, watching her breath make her chest expand and deflate. Molly was second from dipping her fingers into his boxers and moving them down just enough, she could feel him twitching in the constraints of his jeans, aching for her touch.

“Ba-” A loud crash cut Harry’s word in half, and both of them jumped quickly, Harry rising to his elbows Molly snapping her head to the door, freezing over Harry. “What the fuck?” Harry asked, moving more, his legs sliding from between Molly’s as she shook her head, clambering off the bed. “Where you going?” Harry asked, a little breathless, frantically trying to do his jeans back up.

“Shh,” Molly instructed, sliding on the wooden floor towards the door. No light had come on, and Molly quietly pulled the door open, peering out into the dark hallway. The kitchen light caught her attention, “Hello?” She called, heading that way, pulling her bedroom door closed behind her to save Harry’s modesty. It was Jimmy who appeared in the doorway, a little dishevelled and rosy cheeked, obviously having walked from the station, Molly wasn’t worried about that though, just relieved to see a friendly face. “Oh it’s you, I thought you weren’t ba-”

“What the fuck happened to you?” Jimmy questioned quickly, eyes narrowing as they raked over her skin. Suddenly Molly was very aware of the purple tones of her neck, and when she swallowed back on the panic rising in her, she felt an ache where she hadn’t for a few days. “Molly, what’s happened?” Jimmy’s voice was getting sterner, and she could see the way his mind was reeling, and the way his nostrils were flinching. “It was him wasn’t it? Where is he?” Jimmy asked, but didn’t wait for Molly’s answer, bouldering past her, pushing Molly out of the way and marching towards her bedroom.

“Jimmy,” Molly tried to call after him,. The panic just filled her quicker as she tried to chase after Jimmy, calling his name, aching to grab his wrist and pull him back. “Jimmy stop,” Molly screamed, her eyes full and spilling, as Jimmy pushed open her bedroom door and was out of her sight. Molly followed quickly, frantically, eyes quickly finding Jimmy, steaming towards Harry who was stood at the foot of her bed and fully dressed once more. Anything that had been there before, fully gone.

“Did you do this?” Jimmy seethed moving closer, not hesitating. Even Harry could feel the fury, taking a step back, but then stopping and letting Jimmy approach.

“Jim,” Molly tried, quietly, trying to get closer.

“Fucking tell me, did you do this?” Jimmy shouted. Harry shook his head, but it didn’t calm Jimmy, instead he just growled and pushed at Harry’s chest and back him into a wall.

“Jimmy stop,” Molly cried, moving closer again, quicker that time.

“You’re a fucking piece of work, you know that?” Jimmy hissed into Harry’s face, and Molly watched Harry take it all in as she sobbed watching on, feeling a little helpless and at a loss for what to do. Harry just took it, just let Jimmy shout at him and accuse him, and hold him there against the wall without even a little bit of resistance. “You’re ruining her fucking life you know that don’t you?” Jimmy seethed viciously, pushing a little harder into Harry’s chest.

“Jimmy please stop it, just stop it,” Molly choked. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” She insisted, pulling at his shoulder. Jimmy stepped back, stumbling a little and giving in eyes still focused on Harry, nose still upturned a little, grimacing in Harry’s direction like he was a flea ridden dog that had been dragged in through the dirt. He shrugged Molly’s hand away coldly, and turned his eyes to her, scanning over her face and shaking his head.

“Who was it then?” Jimmy sneered.

“Just some bloke, you don’t know him,” Molly told Jimmy, pinching her lips together and trying to stare up at him, trying to hold his eyes but it was difficult through the tears that kept spilling and his insistence on continuing to look down at her throat.

“Do you?” Jimmy asked Molly, and she shook her head, Jimmy turning to Harry. “Do you?” He asked.

“Yes,” Harry breathed, and Molly watched it come over Jimmy again, the anger and confusion and disappointment.

“It wasn’t his fault Jim please,” Molly begged reaching his for his arm again, though Jimmy just snatched it away and shook his head.

“Why are you here?” Jimmy taunted with a twist of his jaw. No one said anything, and Molly watched Harry drop his head to look at the floor. “Why are you fucking here?” He flared, demanding an answer.

“Because I fucking love him you idiot,” Molly bellowed suddenly from nowhere eyes still on Harry and the way he was looking at the floor. They quickly snapped to Jimmy though when he froze, and Harry’s head started to lift. It wasn’t the way Molly had wanted to tell Harry, but it had just happened, just slipped out of her because it was the only real answer she had for any of it. It worked to explain nearly everything. “Because I love him, and I want him here” She spoke quieter deflating a little. She swore she saw a the corner of Jimmy’s mouth flicker but it quickly fell as he shook his head.

“I think you’re making a huge mistake,” Jimmy told her honestly, not holding back, his voice calmer and collected. They both knew it made no odds, she’d make it anyway, but they also knew if Jimmy didn’t tell her his feelings it would eat him up inside.

“That’s fine, but it’s my mistake to make,” Molly told him, and Jimmy nodded. “And this,” Molly pointed to her neck then, jabbing the skin, and she swore she saw both Jimmy and Harry flinch. “Is not Harry’s fault, and I’ve been to the police, and it’s being dealt with,” Jimmy nodded again.

“I do love her too Jim, never loved anyone like it,” Harry spoke up then, stepping forward, and Molly felt everything in her trip over itself. It felt like she stopped and restarted again, and was slightly different for it. She’d had her suspicions, but hearing it was different. She saw Jimmy nod, as he deflated a little more, getting back to himself. “All I want is for her to be happy and safe,” Harry added, again Jimmy nodded. “I love her,” Harry said one more time, and Jimmy moved to look at Molly whose eyes were welling and who was wearing the tiniest of smiles. It wasn’t how she’d wanted it, or planned it, or imagined it, but in some ways it was better because it was raw and real and came from something more honest than anything else.

“I know,” Jimmy sighed, and it felt like maybe he meant it, and maybe he’d known it for longer than the two minutes since they’d said it. Perhaps it had just been Molly and Harry who hadn’t realised how obviously in love they were, and how obviously it was the thing that had the potential to break them to a million pieces, but could also be the one thing that would truly make them.

So managed to get it done and up, I proofed as best as I could but there might be a few things and if there are I’m sorry it’s been a strange week lol.

Next week is the penultimate chapter and I can’t quite believe but wow. Also next Friday is a bank holiday so I’m going to try (not a promise) to have it up on Thursday, if not it will be up on Tuesday after the bank holiday and we’ll see how the rest pans out from there.

Anyway I hope you enjoy looking forward to hearing your thoughts eee! 

Have a great weekend <3

#dive #harry styles #TALK TO ME #ask box open #harry styles fan fic #1dff #i want your thoughts #adn my asos parcel to arrive #but beggars can't be choosers #lol #harry angst #harry fluff #harry smut

[theoddcatlady]

My Friends Went On A Roadtrip Through Europe

The only reason I didn’t go on the ‘greatest trip of our lives’ was because I was in a car accident that nearly killed me.

It was bad. I wasn’t able to get out of bed without assistance for that first month. Broken leg, busted up ribs, I looked more like a boxer that just got out of a match gone bad than a recent highschool graduate who was planning on going to college as a psychology major.

My friends and I had been planning this trip since our freshman year in highschool. I know. It was fucking stupid. But we promised if we all graduated with a grade average of 3.5 or better and if we all scraped together the cash from after school/summer jobs, we’d take a road trip through Europe. Somehow we actually managed to do it, our parents were so impressed that they even kicked in some cash. The silly dreams of fourteen year olds were coming to life.

Whitney wanted to go to Paris and see the Eiffel Tower. Jade was all about Austria, she wanted to see where the Sound of Music was filmed. Jonah planned to eat all the chocolate he could stomach in Switzerland. Me? I wanted to see the countryside of every country- mountains, rivers, the ocean… But one week before the plane was supposed to take off, well, the accident happened.

I told my friends to go without me, but I made them promise to constantly send me updates and tell me how much fun they were having. So they left- Whitney, Jade, Jonah, Holden, and Tori. I even gave them a portion of the money I saved up so they could go crazy.

At first, everything was normal. I got pictures, they even sent me a package from England full of lil knick knacks and snacks. I hated the Irn Bru but the Cadbury chocolates were to DIE for. But everything went wrong shortly after Austria.

Below are the emails and messages my friends sent me when they had the time. These all take place over about three weeks. After that, everything goes silent. Their parents have yet to hear from them. They’ve filed missing person’s reports, but I think if any of them are still alive… they won’t want to be found.

From: Jade

Jesus CHRIST, you will not believe what happened last night, Lilah.

First off, let me make abundantly clear that no one is dead, and no the trip is not over yet. We got really lucky. Second off, Jonah is a fucking moron and I swear to god once his stitches are out I’m ripping him a new one.

Okay so last night we were out a bit late, we all got a little tipsy and we were heading back to the hotel. Legal drinking age is eighteen, it’s not like that time we tried to sneak into Beverly’s with those fake ID’s. On the way back, we stumbled across another drunk who made a pass at Jonah. And you know Jonah, his drunk ass reacted loudly and violently. I swear he was about to make a swing at the guy… but the other guy swung first.

I swear, the drunk guy fought like an animal, Jonah didn’t stand a chance. We barely managed to rip Jonah away from him before he ripped his throat out. It was bloody and MESSY.

We got Jonah to the nearest emergency room, got him patched up, headed back home to sleep it off. How much do you wanna bet that he won’t remember it in the morning?

I’m gonna hit the sack. Jonah is a moron.

From: Jonah

Jade told me she sent you an email about the fight. She really needs to chill, I’m really not that bad off. Besides, the guy was a creep.

I do remember what happened, despite what she thinks, we were heading back when, get this, strange guy complimented my SKIN. Said it looked smooth and rosy. That’s not even flirting anymore, that’s just creepy! I mean, he was totally your type, tall, dark, handsome, blue eyes and a bit of scruff on his face, but noooot mine.

I’m fine though, you can barely tell where the guy got me. I think he had a knife because I got ripped. Up. Can barely tell now, he must’ve just grazed me.

We’ll be looping back up and heading for Poland next. Gonna cross through Germany to do that, but I don’t mind the drive. Besides, Germany = MORE BEER.

Miss you, next time you will totally have to come along.

From: Tori

I really wish you were here. I miss you so, so much. How is your therapy going? I hope it’s going well, you really missed out on some beautiful views today. The camera doesn’t quite capture it, but I hope to paint it once I’m home with my supplies. Maybe I can bring a little of this place back to you.

I think I’m just homesick. I might cut my trip short and head back, I’m really worried about you.

From: Whitney

Did you talk Tori out of going home yet? I don’t think she’s willing to admit how spooked she got when that bum attacked Jonah. She started crying when she saw how bloodied he was. I was pretty freaked too, but it was way worse than it looked. He’s actually completely fine now. Stitches came out, there’s not even a scar. I’m pretty sure Jonah’s actually bummed there’s nothing to show off for when he gets home LOL. But yeah, nothing to worry about, he’s still the same energetic Jonah we all know and love.

Holden’s horrible at remembering to email you, I’ve told him like, six times. Did he do anything other than the one time he sent a what’s up? He totally only did that because I nagged him.

I wish we spent more time in Italy, but we’re making great time through Germany. I’m gonna go now, kick ass and take names at Overwatch for us when you can sit up, all right?

From: Tori

Jonah’s almost too over the top since the attack. I think he’s trying to make up for something, I don’t know what. It’s like… remember that time he pounded Mountain Dews all night while we were gaming? This was during our League of Legends phase (glad that ended) but Jonah was incredibly manic and he was constantly getting up to pace.

He’s like that but 24/7. I don’t think he’s slept a full night, and it’s almost impossible to make him stop for the night. We want to relax, there’s no rush to get to Poland. I’ll talk to him when I can get him to settle, see what’s wrong. Love you.

From: Jade

Welp, Tori went home last night.

Her clothes and passport are gone, she left a note saying she really missed you and her parents, she’ll make it up to us when we’re home. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed she didn’t talk to us beforehand.

She was right though, Jonah needs a chill pill. Is this how some people deal with trauma? Because I mean, you weren’t there, but that was… pretty bad. I can’t even imagine how Jonah feels, but he’s Jonah. He never lets anyone in. It’s why you two broke up sophomore year, kid has issues. I hoped this trip through Europe might help him learn about himself but I think it’s making it worse.

From: Whitney

WE’RE IN DENMARK BECAUSE APPARENTLY JONAH DECIDED POLAND WAS A STUPID IDEA.

Ugh, sorry. So Jonah offered to drive us through the night. I said no, but Holden and Jade were all for it. So I sucked it up, took something to make me drowsy, and konked out in the back seat. When I woke up, Jonah and Jade were having a shouting match and turns out, we’re in DENMARK. That wasn’t the plan. He didn’t clear this with us.

Holden’s on his side, saying that Denmark is a cool country too but Jade’s royally pissed. I can’t blame her. We promised at the beginning of the trip that we were to clear any travel plans with each other. We’d talk about it.

That’s another reason to miss you- you are SO good at talking. <3

From: Jonah

Everyone but Holden’s pissed at me.

Listen, I’m fine, I promise. I’ve just had to deal with some insomnia lately, is that really that bad? It’s not like I’m as bad off as you were. There was a brief moment that morning of the accident we all thought we’d lose you.

The insomnia goes away in the day. I can sleep then. Everyone can go and have fun during the day, I get to sleep, and at night I go do my shit. There’s. Nothing. Wrong with that.

I mean, another reason I wish you were here was that I’ve been having some… preeettyyy interesting dreams involving you, when I can sleep anyway. TMI. But maybe I should’ve been less of a puss with you back in the day. I shouldn’t have pushed you away.

When I’m back, can we go on a date? I’ll buy. Anywhere you want to go.

From: Jade

Jonah made a pass at me. And he’s not drunk.

I’m confused. And worried. Not gonna lie, he was pretty smooth about it, but I’ve never thought of him that way. He’s like that obnoxious little brother you love anyway. I told him no and he accepted gracefully.

Talking with Whitney and he also made a move at him… and at Holden? Jesus Christ, it’s about time that dumbass fell out of the closet. Holden’s pretty into it though. I’m wondering if this trip was actually a success in that matter.

We’re going up through Scandinavia now. Sweden, here we come!

At least we’re in some of the most gay friendly countries in the world right now… although I swear to god I think someone’s been following us. I’ve spotted this small white car twice now and I think it’s the same driver. But I’m probably just paranoid.

From: Holden

i know i dont email you often. i hate writing.

but something’s really wrong with jonah. i think he hurt someone.

last night we went out for drinks. ive always thought jonah was cute but never thought hed give me the time of day. we shared a hotel room, nothing happened but it was nice.

but I woke up this morning and I was trying to find something to wear and I accidentally went through one of jonah’s bags because our bags look the same and

i found one of his shirts. it’s covered in blood. And I found tori’s passport. it’s also bloody.

i’ve been reading and there’s been two bodies on the same route we’ve been going. i also called tori’s mom and she hasn’t heard anything from her daughter. she hasnt gone home. what should I do lilah? you were always the smart one.

From: Jade

Jonah’s lost his goddamn mind.

I’m surprised I get signal out in the middle of nowhere but Holden asked him about Tori and Jonah got really defensive. Then he brought up clothes covered in blood and that Tori never made it home and… Jonah snapped.

He pulled over to the side of the road and lunged for Holden. Whitney tried to break it up and got pretty fucked up for it. They’ll be okay as soon as we get to a hospital or something.

He’s gone now. He took the keys with him. I’m gonna try and call for help but jesus christ how have things gone so wrong?

From: Jonah

(This email was sent to all of us, along with the next one.)

I’m with Master now. He never meant for this to happen. He never meant for me to get turned. He tried to find me but my own stupidity kept us going… I’m so mad at myself. I should’ve told you guys what’s been going on. I’ve been barely sleeping, any sort of bright light fucking hurts, and Tori…

I never meant to hurt Tori. I swear to god. She was one of my best friends. But she’s dead. And I killed her. I couldn’t stop myself. By the time I came to my senses, I’d shredded her to pieces. If they ever find where I dumped her, she’ll probably be a Jane Doe for the rest of time.

Master found me running around around and stopped me. We’re someplace safe now. He’ll help me.

But I need to know one thing-

Did I bite you guys?

From: Whitney

You bit me. And you bit Holden.

Jade’s fine. For now. I don’t know how long though. I feel strange. Like there’s something burning in my head and down my spine. Please find us. Holden’s starting to feel strange too.

Lilah, we love you so much.

Please, don’t try to come find us. Go to college. Have fun. Make new friends. Study hard. Forget about us.

We’re dead anyway.

#horror stories #scary stories #creepypasta #writers on tumblr #creative writing #my stories

[leviathangourmet]

But there’s this thing that still bothers him. It has to do with an incident last year in the computer lab. It was a Friday, near the end of the period, and Ryan waited by the exit. He began absentmindedly opening and shutting the door. This girl he didn’t really know told him to stop. When he did it again, she smacked him in the face. He smacked her back. She clawed at him, and he fell into a row of computers. The bell rang, and the girl ran off. “The teacher asked me to report it right away,” he tells me, “but I had a bus to catch.”

Ryan went home with a cut on his eyebrow, two on his forehead, and another on his ear. Tori told him to take pictures. “That girl could go home,” Ryan recalls his mom saying, “slit the whole side of her cheek with a knife, and come to school Monday and say, ‘Hey, look what he did to me.’ ” That was news to him. He’d never even been in a fight before. In middle school, he and this other kid had agreed to punch each other in the face because they wanted to know what it felt like, but when the time came, they just went home. “I guess girls sometimes just do that,” he says. “It happened once when my mom was in high school. A girl purposely broke her own arm just to get another person in trouble.”

He took photos of his face and went to the principal’s office first thing on Monday, like his mom told him to. “He was so upset,” the assistant principal tells me. “He didn’t know why he was in trouble.” Ryan spent a couple hours in the in-school suspension room. He got a ticket referring him to the municipal court, where he appeared in August. He pleaded not guilty. At a second meeting, Ryan spoke to a prosecutor. At least, “I think it was a prosecutor,” he says. “I think he felt like it was stupid that I got a ticket for this. The look on his face was kind of like, What the heck is this?” Ryan thinks that if he were a girl, he wouldn’t have been punished. “As long as I don’t get in trouble again for a year, I’m okay,” he tells me. “But I had to deal with it for a few months.” The kids in school, “they called me a woman beater. I don’t think anyone actually thought I was. They were just giving me crap. It was just a stressful time.”

The fight with the girl was just one of a long string of recent events, most of them politically tinged, that have shaken Ryan’s sense of self. “Last year was really bad,” he says. “I couldn’t say anything without pissing someone off.” He says it started around the time of the presidential election—the liberal students became enraged and the conservative students emboldened. “Lots of drama over politics,” he says. “It ruined friendships and changed social groups. People were making friends based on their politics more than anything.” Kids started advertising their beliefs by hanging flags and posters on their lockers. They wore T-shirts that promoted Hillary for president, or Trump for president, or LGBT rights, or feminism, or Black Lives Matter. The most popular opinion at West Bend seemed to be anti-Trump. Ryan, raised in Republican households, was surprised by the vitriol. “Everyone hates me because I support Trump?” he says. “I couldn’t debate anyone without being shut down and called names. Like, what did I do wrong?”

The week I visit West Bend, the front page of USA Today reads, Is What Someone Does at Age 17 Relevant? in reference to Christine Blasey Ford’s sexual- assault accusation against Brett Kavanaugh. I ask Ryan if he has discussed #MeToo in any of his classes. “I’ve heard of that,” he says. “What does it mean again?” I also ask him about Trump’s reputation as a misogynist. “He is respectful towards his wife, as far as I know,” he says. “I don’t think he is racist or sexist.” Then again, he thinks the president tries to piss people off a little too much. “Sometimes I think it’s funny,” he says, “but I guess it’s really not that funny in the end.” Seventeen is the age when we begin to make such moral calculations, according to experts I spoke with. It’s when teenagers begin to “look at the world outside of their immediate environment,” says Adiaha Spinks-Franklin, a developmental pediatrician at Texas Children’s Hospital. “They begin to question their own beliefs, and those of their parents and peers.” At the same time, the teenage brain is still a work in progress. “Teenagers are expected to act like adults, but their brains are not ready,” says Pradeep Bhide, director of the Center for Brain Repair at Florida State University. But they’re close: “Everything they need for moral reasoning may already be there,” he says.

This past year, Ryan ran another gantlet: social media. He does not use Facebook or Twitter, which he thinks are mostly for older people. And he has no interest in Snapchat. But he, like most everyone his age, uses Instagram. “I’d post a comment,” he recalls, “and the replies would all be the same thing: ‘You’re stupid and that’s dumb’ or ‘You suck’ or ‘You’re straight, you can’t talk about something LGBT.’ ” One time, on a post he describes as “a feminist thing that said something about what men do,” he commented, “It’s not true, and that’s really stupid to say that.” The woman who’d posted it responded with something like, “What do you have to say? You’re a white man.” Ryan is still confused by her response. “Doesn’t she promote equal rights?” he says. “What if I posted the same kind of thing but about what women do? Like, if I posted a photo of a feminist march? But wait, feminist people hate when white men talk about stuff like that. That would be the end of me.” He pauses. “I guess they think since I’m not a girl, I don’t have an opinion.”

As Ryan grappled with progressive ideas on social media, he noticed that others did, too. Last summer, James Gunn, the director of Disney’s Guardians of the Galaxy, was sacked for a bunch of tweets he wrote several years ago. “He was fired because he said a shower in a hotel felt like a little kid peeing on him,” Ryan’s friend Andrew says. “Totally stupid and not worth the attention,” says Ryan. “Some jokes are pretty bad. But it depends on the context. If you’re honestly kidding, people shouldn’t get offended.

“Also, baseball,” he continues, referring to another incident from last summer, this time with Josh Hader, a pitcher for the Milwaukee Brewers. “Just so happens that something Hader said seven years ago about hating gay people came up the day of a big game. Now he has to go to all these sensitivity trainings.” Ryan considers the leaker’s motivation. “Someone must’ve been jealous of him and said, ‘Oh, I have this message from when he was fifteen.’ It’s like, yeah, you say a lot of stupid stuff when you are fifteen.” (Later, I look up the tweets. Gunn said worse than what the boys mentioned, including, “I fucked the shit out of the little pussy boy sitting next to me!” And Hader, who was actually seventeen and eighteen when he sent his controversial tweets, used the n-word repeatedly and made an allusion to “white power.” One tweet read, “I hate gay people.” Another read, “Need a bitch that can fuck, cook, clean right.”)

Ryan began to feel like social media was more trouble than it was worth. He even thought about erasing his Instagram account. “But I haven’t said anything too bad,” he says. And more to the point, he decided it is better to engage with other perspectives than to drop out of the conversation. He now watches both Fox News and CNN. He says he’s inched toward the center politically, and so have his friends. He’s even changed his wardrobe and now avoids shirts with words or anything else, save for an American flag, that makes a statement. “It’s better to be a moderate, because then you don’t get heat,” he tells me. “We want everyone to be happy.”

#article #interview #archive #men's rights #politics

[sandstonesunspear]

Transcending Lifetimes, Chapter 3

Summary: The universe said that Marie’s death was a constant event. In each life she lived, Lucy told the universe to go fuck itself and give her back the woman she loved. This time, the universe listened. 

Thanks to @nerdsbianhokie for giving me the idea for this OT4 and to @syllabicacronyms and @georgiew2304 for letting me toss ideas around and giving me feedback about said ideas. And, thanks to @avidreaderffn for also giving me feedback about this chapter.

AO3

“Hey stranger, long time no see.”

Lucy remembered those words. They had become Marie’s catchphrase and were often the first thing that had left her lips whenever she met Lucy at LaGuardia. The phrase had always been accompanied by a warm, cheeky grin.

Today was no different.

Lucy felt her heart stutter to a stop at the sight of her wife’s smile. That smile had haunted her dreams and memories for years.

Victoria gave Lucy a sharp, short poke to the back to get her to move forward. Lucy took a few shaky steps towards Marie’s hospital bed. The last time she had approached a hospital bed that held Marie, her wife had been unconscious and running out of time. The next morning, she was dead.

Except, now, she wasn’t.

Lucy stopped just short of Marie’s side. As much as she wanted to take the final step to her wife, she found that her feet refused to move forward. She was too scared to. What if this was just a dream? What if she took that final step, only to wake up alone in her bed like she had so many nights before? What if what if what--

“Lucy.”

Lucy blinked. Marie’s hand was outstretched, inviting her to take it. Her wife was giving her a fond, exasperated look.

Lucy swallowed. She worked to keep her hand steady as she took Marie’s hand in hers. It was warm to the touch.

“I’m right here, Lucy,” Marie said quietly. She ran her thumb across the back of Lucy’s hand. “I’m back.”

Lucy cracked. She wrapped an arm around Marie and pulled her close. She buried her face into the crook of Marie’s neck, taking in the warmth. Lucy breathed in. The smell of antiseptic burned at her nose, but it couldn’t cover up Marie’s scent. It was too well ingrained in Lucy’s memory to stay hidden. Another breath brought Marie’s scent to the forefront: clove, coffee, a hint of soot that Marie had always joked around as being the result of her work during 9/11 and thus never seemed to fade.

Lucy pulled back slightly when she felt Marie run a hand through her hair. The two stared at each other for several moments.

Marie broke the silence. “Hi,” she said. She looked Lucy over and tilted her head. “You’re as beautiful as I remember you being.”

Lucy fought the urge to duck her head as her cheeks heated up. “You are too,” she said. Her wife hadn’t aged a day since her death. There were no signs of decay to be seen. It was as if she had simply been frozen in time.

“Flatterer,” Marie teased.

“For you?” Lucy leaned forward. “Always, Mar.” She pressed her lips to Marie’s and let her eyes slip shut as her wife kissed her back. She heard shuffling followed by a sharp click of the door to the room closing as Victoria left to give them some privacy.

Both of them broke apart at the noise. Lucy and Marie exchanged looks before breaking out into laughter. Marie’s laughter was such a wonderful sound to Lucy’s ears. Eventually, though, the laughter died down.

Marie coughed harshly, making Lucy jerk in alarm. “I’m fine, Luce,” she quickly reassured Lucy. She gave her wife a lopsided grin. “It comes with being down a lung, remember?”

Lucy bit her lip. “Yeah,” she said. “So...you’re back, minus the lung.”

Marie chuckled. “I am,” she confirmed.

“Does that mean that…” Lucy couldn’t bring herself to finish the question. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“That the cancer came back with me?” Marie finished for her.

Lucy nodded.

Marie intertwined her fingers with Lucy’s. “They have to run a few more tests,” she said.

Lucy knew her wife well enough by now to know when to read in between the lines. “But…?”

“But they’re pretty sure I’m cancer free now.”

Lucy let out a breath she hadn’t been aware that she was holding. Before she could say anything, a knock at the door caught her attention.

She and Marie both glanced at it to see a doctor come through. Lucy recognised her immediately.

“Maura?” Lucy only barely managed to contain her surprise. Maura O’Malley had been Marie’s oncologist before she died.  

Maura grinned at Lucy. “Lane, long time no see,” she said. She glanced at Marie. “Doubly so for your wife.”

“I mean, death kinda does that,” Marie said and yelped when Lucy whapped her arm.

“Not funny,” Lucy said.

Marie pouted.

Maura rolled her eyes at the both of them. Their interactions had been the highlight of her being the supervision oncologist in charge of Marie’s treatment the first time she’d been sick.

She cleared her throat, interrupting the couplish bickering that was bound to erupt between the two women. She sat on a stool and pulled up Marie’s chart.

“So, from everything I remember about the two of you, you both hate bullshit. I’m assuming that’s still correct?”

Lucy and Marie nodded.

“Great!” Maura said. “Now, good news or bad news first?”

Lucy felt her stomach clench at the words, “bad news.” Bad news meant that Marie was wrong, meant that she had come back with cancer, meant that she was going to die again. Before her thoughts could spiral too far into panic, a tight squeeze from Marie’s hand pulled her back from the brink.

She looked to Marie.

Marie pressed a kiss to Lucy’s cheek. “Breathe baby,” she murmured against Lucy’s skin.

Lucy took a breath and closed her eyes. She opened them to meet Maura’s expectant gaze. Her hand clenched down on Marie’s unconsciously.

“We’ll take the bad news first,” she said. Rip the bandaid off and get it over with. The sooner she knew what was wrong, the sooner she could process it and shove the fear down.

“Bad news, we have no idea why you came back from the dead,” Maura informed them bluntly.

Lucy’s hand tightened its grip around Marie’s, drawing a small yelp from her.

“And the good news?” Lucy asked. Her hand loosened its hold just barely as Marie took to rubbing her thumb against the back of Lucy’s hand to try and get it to relax.

“Good news is that the scans came back clean.”

Lucy stopped breathing. “What?”

Maura smiled at the both of them. “The scans are clean,” she repeated. She shut the chart. “Your wife looks to be in remission, Major.”

Lucy licked her lips. Her mouth felt so dry. She had no idea what to say.

“Soo…” Marie drawled out. “When can I get out of here?” She shot a cheeky grin at Lucy. “I want to go home with my wife.”

Maura laughed. “I bet you do,” she said. She tilted her head. “We’re going to keep you at least another 24 hours for observation, but you should be able to go home tomorrow evening.”

Marie’s head thumped against the pillow. “Oh thank god,” she sighed.

Maura feigned a hurt expression. “What, you don’t like us here at Mount Sinai?”

Marie chuckled. “Don’t get me wrong, Maura, you all are great, but the food sucks.”

Maura hummed her agreement. “That’s fair.” She got up. “I’m going to touch base with Hendricks about your case and then see what we can do about dinner for you.”

“I think Tori’s bringing me take out from that pizza place on Madison,” Marie mused.

Maura sighed. “Of course she is.” Victoria Alexander was a great nurse, but over the years she appeared to have inherited her Marie’s devil-may-care attitude, especially once Marie had fallen ill.

Maura moved to leave, only to pause by the door. “Alexander?” she spoke up. “Just know that as good as it is to see you again, I really never want to see you on my floor again.”

Marie grinned. “That’s fair.”

Once Maura was gone, Marie ran a hand through Lucy’s hair. “You still with me, Major?” she asked, tone half-teasing, half-concerned.

Lucy blinked. “Yeah,” she sighed.

“Uh huh.” Marie leaned back and tugged Lucy along with her as she did so that the two of them were laying together. “C’mere.”

Lucy settled up against her wife. She pressed her ear firmly against Marie’s chest and closed her eyes, savouring the sound of the steady thrum of her heart. As much as she missed the sound, she had missed what it meant even more: it meant that her wife was alive.

“I can hear the wheels turning in your head, Lucy Alexander-Lane.” Lucy glanced up at Marie to see an amused smirk on her lips. “You want to tell me what’s on your mind?”

“There’s nothing on my mind, Mar.” That was a lie. Everything was on her mind: the fallout from Myriad, Marie’s return from the dead, whether or not this was real or just some cruel dream, the paperwork nightmare she was going to be faced with, bringing Marie to National City. All of it was pressing down on Lucy’s shoulders and mind.

Marie saw right through her wife’s attempt to deflect. “Lucy.”

Lucy gave her a sardonic smile. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?” she asked.

“You remember who I am, right?” Marie’s question was accompanied by a raised eyebrow aimed at Lucy. “I’m Marie Alexander-Lane, your wife. I was a firefighter and paramedic for a number of years and made a habit of not letting things go so I could run into buildings and save people before lung cancer took me down. That ring a bell?”

Lucy rolled her eyes. She reached up and flicked Marie’s shoulder. “Yes, I remember all of that you ass.”

“Then there’s your answer,” was Marie’s cheeky response.

Lucy sighed. She snuggled closer to Marie. The two lay in silence for a while. Then, “This is real, right?”

It was soft. If Marie hadn’t been paying attention, she would have missed the question completely.

“What’s real?” she asked, slightly confused.

“This. You, us,” Lucy said quietly. She looked up to Marie. “This is real. You’re really here.”

Marie absently ran her fingers through Lucy’s hair. “This is real,” she whispered. “I dunno how it happened, but this is real and I’m right here.”

“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?”

Marie scoffed playfully. “I’m entirely offended that you’d even ask that, Luce.”

Lucy smiled at the response. It was just like Marie to say that. Before she could saw anything, a yawn broke through.

It didn’t escape Marie’s notice. She brushed a thumb under Lucy’s eyes, noticing the dark shadows under her eyes for the first time.

“You should get some sleep,” Marie said.

Fear seized Lucy’s chest. The logical part of her knew that Marie’s suggestion was a good one. After all, she had been burning the midnight oil on both ends for the past week trying to clean up Myriad’s aftermath. But as much as she needed sleep, it was the last thing she wanted to do, especially while in Marie’s arms.

“I don’t need to sleep Mar,” she tried. The yawn that followed quickly undermined her statement.

“Of course you don’t, Major ‘I’ve very obviously been burning the candle at both ends,’” Marie said dryly.

Lucy pouted.

Marie chuckled. “Not gonna work this time, Luce.” And, as cute as her wife’s pouts were, they rarely ever worked once Marie had determined her wife needed sleep.

“I…” Lucy bit her lip. “I’m afraid, Mar.” The last time she had fallen asleep in Marie’s arms, she had awoken the next morning to find her wife dead.

Marie seemed to pick up on the cause of Lucy’s hesitation. She gave her wife a small, reassuring squeeze. “I’m right here Lucy,” she said. “And I’m going to be here when you wake up.”

But being here and being alive were two very different things and the both of them knew it.

“You were here when I woke up last time.” But you weren’t alive.

“This time’s different, Lucy.” Marie pressed a kiss to the crown of Lucy’s head. “I’m alive, and I’m going to stay that way, I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.” It was only through sheer luck and a healthy amount of willpower that Lucy was able to keep her voice from breaking.

“I just came back from the dead,” Marie pointed out. “I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” Not again. Marie would tear down the heavens to get back to her wife if some higher power dared to take her away from Lucy again.

Lucy bit her lip even tighter. Then, “Alright.” She nodded against Marie’s chest. “I guess a few hours won’t hurt. Just…please wake me up if something happens. If you feel like you’re about to go, just…wake me up.”

I want to say goodbye. I want to tell you I love you. I want to say everything I wasn’t able to say the last time you died.  

“You got it, Major.” Marie gave her wife a slightly exasperated smile. “Now, will you get some sleep?”

Lucy sighed. “Oh, fine,” she grumbled. A beat. “Marie?”

“Yeah, Luce?” Marie lifted her head a bit to look down at her wife.

“I love you.” And I missed you so much.

Marie kissed Lucy’s forehead. “I love you too.”

An easy silence settled around them. Lucy listened to Marie’s heartbeat as Marie continued to run her fingers through Lucy’s hair to try and lull her to sleep. Eventually, between Marie’s ministrations and the exhaustion weighing on her body, Lucy’s eyes finally slipped shut.

For the first time in years, Lucy slept peacefully.

#supergirl #my writing #blacksite sirens #marcy #lucy lane #marie alexander

[kadyshackkk-blog]

Final Reckoning Episode One Review plus a little info from seasons past.

Hello World! Mtv’s Hit The Challenge Returned Tuesday July 10, 2018 at 9pm! This season is “the end of the challenge as we know it”. Which as of right now I’m calling total b.s. since well mtv the last few season has been “recreating” older seasons ie; The Challenge Invasion of the champions, a very sad and terrible attempt to recreate the iconic The Ruins. Then we went into Dirty 30, the longest season in existence and a horrible rip off of Free Agents which in my opinion was the last great season of the show. In the dirty 30 we had something called the purge aka lets fuck Darrell over and allow a bunch of idiots to run the show. Yes I am still bitter because Darrell was robbed out of a title that season and instead our winners were a racist and an anti feminist douche lord, I mean Camila and Jordan. Then we slide into Vendettas after that tragic second season of Champs V stars, which we won’t even talk about since it was a bunch of d list celebrities who i didnt even know and well the terrell owens aka the biggest bitch in the nfl. Moving along, on Vendettas we received a much needed invasion of new people from big brother and mtv uk! Be warned I have never watched mtv Uk shows or any big brother so I had zero idea who these people were but I was excited to see them! We also got from season 5 of are you the one Kam, Eddie, and Alicia. I loved that season of ayto and the people they chose to come onto vendettas made total sense. But what didn’t make any sense at all was the poor get rid of eddie they did. Now I will only say this once and the source that told me this is very credible since he was on their season of ayto he also doesn’t like either person involved however he dislikes eddie more. Simple fact is Alicia Lied, plan and simple. There was never a restraining order or anything of that nature. You can look it up online its public information in every state. Moving on from that, the additions from the uk were all very attractive, and before you gasp and say even Kyle?! Yes even Kyle , I feel like he looks better in person then he does on tv. The fights that season we’re beyond annoying . This was my face anytime Kailah or nicole spoke or were on my tv screen  

I give them both a chance every season they are on but they always make me regret giving said chance. The luggage throwing incident pissed me the fuck off. & Before you all go WeLL cArA dID iT To JOrdAn guess what she put a waterproof bag of his clothes in water omg get over it. Jemmeye Kailah & Britni Ganged up on kayleigh because of a rumor about her and bananas that Devin started to get Johnny thrown into elimination. It was not okay, it is never okay to touch someone elses belongings ever. I do not care, her stuff was broken and none of the actual apologized for it. 

Now for what you came for my review of the Challenge Final Reckoning Episode 1

First off I was hoping this season was a team season sadly it was just a rip off of the Rivals series which was only decent for rivals 1 and 2. Rivals 3 was ridiculous and a waste of time and energy. In the beginning we see everyone show up and Tj is all like guess what your partner is buried and you have to find them! oh and the last two teams will be sent home ending their time in south africa. Me as a view knowing damn well tj is full of shit 

We see Zach dig up his partner Amanda first. Listen I was very excited to hear that Amanda was coming back this season! I really was until all the twitter beef with cara, and unless you’ve been living under a rock you know exactly what I am talking about. (hint him and amanda won the challenge wooooooooh)

Here is everyones partnerships.

Zach & Amanda; Their beef seems a little forced since it’s about Amanda “making up” lies about jenna that even jenna confirmed was true. This team will go far if Zach learns how to work well with women.

Angela & Faith; I honestly don’t understand their beef, really over tor’i really. irrelevant ass team. Angela doesn’t have that same energy she did with Alicia when it comes to Shane and Kam. They won’t go far unless someone (cough cough angela sleeps with someone in power, pulling a veronica in the ruins when she hooked up with my favorite toothbrush twin evan.)

Dj Bald I mean Brad & hair plugs pathological liar I mean kyle; THIS TEAM MAKES ZERO SENSE YALL DEADASS MADE SOME SHIT UP. UHM HELLOOO DARRELL TAYLOR DID NOT WHOOP THAT ASS ON THE RUINS FOR ZERO REASON. Like mtv please stop calling kyle , he literally makes me want to stab him daily.

Cara & Marie; Listen these two have serious dislike for each other over a fucking tweet cara liked & it makes sense they are together. I honestly think this team will do well if Marie Actually fucking tries which i think she will. Tbh marie did campaign to be caras Partner.. However I feel like we as viewers deserved a coral cara team. Those two are both very strong women who need to work out their issues and become civil because I personally love them both.

Ct & Veronica; An og team, ct called v weak but she won more daily challenges then the majority of the girls on dirty 30 . A team to actually fear if they try and win 

Derrick & Tori; Yasssss my boo derrick is back!!!!!! Don’t tell tyler but i adore derrick and think hes amazing. I really like tori as well but her taste in men is just as questionable as mine. Back story tori cheated on derrick with jordan. therefor they don’t like each other.

Bananas & ??? : THIS LITERALLY COULD BE ANYBODY. I’m hoping its sarah so he can break his curse and retire because honestly no one can touch his record unless Landon came out of retirement or if production doesn’t keep fucking over darrell

Joss & Sylvia the sheep; Joss is Hot , and he voted sheep into the elimination and she got mad. damn well knowing she would’ve done the same thing. they do great.

Kam & Melissa; I love this team, this “rivalry” started over a misunderstanding I’m hoping they do well...

Natalie & Paulie; I don’t care enough to waste my time

Nelson & Shane; I’m actually started to like nelson, my dislike for him comes from my loyalty to tyler.. I love shane he is the sassy gay bff that I need in my life. This team will do well if nelson and shane both keep themselves in check

Mama Day & Jozea; I’ve never watched big brother but this team is by far my favorite big brother pairing, I follow both on twitter and they make me laugh daily. underdogs i stan

Britni & Chuck; The hotmess express team. Clearly still feelings there, chuck sucks for what he did to her, they will need to find a way to get past their issues

Jenna & Jemmeye; One of the best moves in challenge history caused this feud. they will do well, jemmeyes brain and jennas brawn.

Kailah & Kayleigh; Failah likes to bully others kayleigh was her victim last season. they’ll probably be out pretty early..

Now to the results of the challenge

Amanda and Zach won.

I’m not to sure about the rest of the order except for the fact Day & Jozea came in last but before jem & Jenna and Chuck & britni.

it was chucks fault him and brit lost 

it was jennas fault her and jem lost

but was anyone really in shock

So then we hear bananas yelling for help since his partner left due to family emergency everyone goes digs him up and if it was up to me he wouldve been sent “home” and not brit and chuck since they almost beat day and jozea.. after they get bananas hoe ass out tj announces that amanda and zach are able to send another team home! And out of all the teams these two dumb asses pick day and jozea. like uhm helllooooooo!!! ya’ll deadass had the chance to send send strong teams home... I can’t the stupidity of these two i can’t. SO  then the three teams leave and “go home”. Everyone goes to the house and already a fight breaks out between shane and angela, over a fucking shelf. Homegirl didn’t have the energy with shane like she did with Alicia , but we already knew she was a fraud. Then cut to outside where Joss and amanda are already flirting with each other. I will give credit is due, Amanda is a beautiful girl but has a very ugly soul and joss is very smart to hookup with her, camera time is everything and why not hook up with one of the most dramatic cast members ever. Cut to Syliva saying this could go great for her alliance or terribly for her alliance at least shes smart. The Que the amanda and joss makeout session. Then we cut to bananas cara and hair plugs talking about cara and kyle. Everything out of kyles mouth is a lie and garbage. Kyle states hes gonna sleep with other people and caras like cool whatever . The cut to faith and hairplugs making out, then faith gets into hottub and johnny being johnny brings it up in front of cara, and cara pulls a queen move by being like if he doesnt want me im not gonna wait around. boy bye best choice shes ever made. Then baby girl proceeded to go into a room and make herself look bad by trying to get at paulie. Like oh no baby what is you doing go to sleep and leave him alone..

Then we cut to the best part of the night in my opinion, first we see melissa walk in and try to be civil with kailah, failah wants zero part in it but melissa still tries because melissa wants to be nice then failah pushes melissa and melissa molly whopped her then they were pulled apart 

Everyone but kailah stans on twitter 

Then the teams who were “sent home” arrive at the redemption house and tj explains some shit i wasn’t paying attention because i didnt care at that point 

Then they go to the photoshoot day and Tj shows up which is never good..

Tells melissa and kailah they are both out ..

Now we dont know kam and kayleighs fate, we find out next week..

Over all this episode was awesome , the cliffhanger was needed , we had a fight some hook ups and a twist.

this season will be interesting to say the least. 

#mtv the challenge #final reckoning

[tgr489]

Dark days of summer

The end of May was dark, cloudy, like rinsing out Indian ink in water. Even though the media were dropping hints of relaxing controls the stark reality of ‘there is no going back to before’ stared us all in the face and we didn’t like it. What will the ‘new normal’ be? This question was asked in one form or another daily and it’s a kind of broken record now and each and every one of us will have their own new normal defined.

As the layers of restriction peeled away we embraced the changes with a level of scepticism, but took full advantage and had friends over, one each over 5 days. Some of them were talking about returning to work, and can’t wait. They are fucking mental. Some just can’t wait to shop again. Getting back on the merry-go-round. One thing this whole situation has taught everyone is that working from home can be done, with relative ease. I only speak for myself and all of my friends that have office-based jobs, those that don’t, like the builders, bar people, lawyers and such whom I know, they obviously can’t, well not all the time anyway. Well, a bar person can’t really, make you a cocktail via zoom, so I guess that type of role can’t be a remote job. Anyway, all of except Lexi can work remotely, but Lexi could, if she wanted to, however she opts to work in hospitality, on the front line rather than focus her knowledge. She is special, operates on the level just above a wallflower in everything she does, going with the flow in everything without ever really expressing an opinion. Although I’ve noticed when she does want something, she plays the persuasive game to a degree of subtlety to victory I’ve never seen. I realise how I too have succumbed to it in the past. She also hides an exceeding intellect, adopting a slightly dumbed down persona, for what and why I have no idea, she’s playing her own game. Occasionally, when pressed, Lexi will offer an insight which is truly profound, like an off-cuff-comment which everyone has to contemplate. I worked this out on a walk to the Southbank one day as we chatted about the end of lockdown and how things might play out, each of us offering our opinions of how we would do it differently and the why. She’s smart but hides it like she’s afraid of it or something. Are there any right ways to unlock a nation? Some countries were having success, it seemed, whereas every morning when I opened my newsfeed it was like navigating dog puke on the carpet; a disgusting mess of how things are being handled by the UK government. It’s despicable.

This topic of conversation peppered life in the apartment and the roof with the neighbours. With different perspectives floating around and backed up with reading material I found myself caught in a warren of negativity, searching for answers when there were none. Nothing told a pretty picture and the media elegantly delivers you into an echo chamber of polarisation. The culture being taught to the masses now by our media is one of extremes, with very little room for middle ground. Democrats-Republicans, Tories-Labour, Bloods-Crips, fascists-Marxists, with us or against us. Add into the mix the black lives matter movement and there’s a fuse dangling for someone to light. I’ll stop the topic there, cause it’s getting a bit ranty. It’s a serious issue, all of it, and it’s all intertwined at the festering root. Tensions in the apartment came to a head one night as opinions differed, trenches were dug in the heat of it and we went toe-to-toe. Our arguments meandered around politics, race, privacy and freedoms. I had the bit between my teeth and egged on by a nice feisty bottle of red, I preached and lectured like a fool, much like here. One by one my friends backed away, retreated to their dens to lick their wounds and live to fight another day, leaving Lexi and me to decide the victor. I was never going to win and I bowed out with a cheap shot. Maybe I gave up, subconsciously, we were kind of arguing for the same thing, in a roundabout kinda way. She told me I’ll never understand the whole race thing from my privileged upbringing, and continually running away from difficult situations. She hit the nerve with laser precision, I haven’t been subject to discrimination, ever, and she has because she’s black and a female. I do also run away from situations, but not so that I don’t have to deal with them but more to get some perspective and then deal with whatever I need to deal with. My answer was a bit spiteful and I received just punishment. I told her instead of working shit meaningless jobs she should engage her brain as she had been taught instead of hiding it away and easing it. That was when she hit me with the ashtray. She got a good swing in too from such a short distance, my reactions delayed by weed and alcohol, and it caught me a blinder on the side of my head, shattering as it hit the floor. My head was ringing like a screecher alarm. I said ‘you win’, then went to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. Running away.

The assessment of my wound was that it needed stitches for sure. I thought I saw a tiny patch of skull in the crimson crevice as pulled and prodded, but decided it wasn’t. Could I be bothered to walk to A&E at 3am? The closest hospital is 5mins away, but it’s an eye hospital, the next is an easy 30-40min affair. The answer was no, so I improvised with some gaffer tape, it’s funny how that stuff is always around when you need it. Even as I was trying to tape it together I knew it would be a big fat fail, but did it anyway, cleaned the blood off myself and flopped into bed with some codeine and the hope the pain would disappear.

Of course, the pain was still there when I woke, it was pacing out the distance side by side with a hangover. Nothing major, I’d say a 3 on my scale. My head was thumping like a kick drum in time with my pulse, with each beat a high and a low as the agony dissipated, only to start again a second later. I knew the hangover would be short-lived but the other maybe not. I opened my eyes for the briefest of moments, shut then immediately, it was worse. As I lay there my sixth sense told me someone was in the bed with me, and a furtive extension of the leg confirmed it. I knew it could only be one person, and slowly turning my head I saw Lexi’s beautiful sleeping face, slightly pouty lips, juicy enough to suck on. As I stared I forgave her, and the realisation that I love her started to burn brighter in me. It was that or stomach acid. Sleep came again easily enough, but it was short-lived. Second time around I came out of my slumber as I felt the tickles on my back, it was heavenly, the lightest of touches up and down my spine, a pleasant distraction from my head. It was only brief; I had to turn over and cuddle her when I heard her silently crying. As she cosied into me the sobs began, deep and loud to begin with, tapering off to snotty laughter as my comforting chat worked a charm. It was fine I told her, it really was. The pain would go and a scar, if there was one, would be nestled away in my hair to be forgotten. From here on I feel closer to Lexi, bonded by blood as it were. Katje hasn’t mentioned anything yet but she knows because I sense her a step further away. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing at the moment.

The summer solstice came and, for us, marked the end of lockdown. It also marked my 31st birthday, which didn’t pass without celebration. Under the new ‘guidance’ we invited 6 friends each to the roof, and along with some of the neighbours doing similar, we saw out the longest day in laid back style. When the fuzz turned up at 3 we called it. No trouble, just some firm words. Should’ve realised it may happen as there’s a police station so close, oh well. Zac and Mel called it a day a few days later and went back to theirs, and things returned to a degree of normality, although there was a noticeable void that wouldn’t get filled. I wonder how they’re doing and feeling about the absence of us? Our project is almost complete, so we still talk every day, but not with the same degree of kinship and more functional. We've agreed to hook up in a month or so. Was that for real or polite goodbye talk?

For me, the void has been filled with personal plans of what to do next, now. The optimistic possibilities available for an ethical climbing out of the mess we’re in have been dismissed, and the globe has kick-started the merry-go-round again. I have played my part in this circus to some success but I don’t think I want to do it anymore and that kinda scares me, because I don't know what else to do.

#dark #unlock #merry go round #preaching #emotional scars #physical scars #violence #birthday #solstice #career change #summer #what to do #data #privacy #greenwashing #democracy #nepotism #mylondonlife #life of riley #life story

[isareed]

transformer AI Lesbian p*rnography Poems

lesbian Bisexual Pansexual Pansexual, but not necessarily attracted to people of the same sex. Bisexuality Bisexuality (also bisexuality, bisexuality and bisexual) is a sexual orientation that includes romantic, sexual, and romantic attraction to people of all genders. Bisexuality or bisexual identity means being attracted to people of same-sex or opposite-sex attraction, regardless of their gender. Bi-sexuality Bi-sexuality is a term that applies to people whose primary sexual orientation is not heterosexual but who still have some attraction to people of the same sex. Bi-sexuality occurs when people have same-sex or other sexual feelings, but still feel some attraction to other people of the same sex. Bi-sexuality can also occur when people experience strong attraction to other people of a different gender: homosexual, homosexual-bisexual, heterosexual-bisexual, pansexual, bisexual-bisexual, and genderqueer. Bisexuality or bisexual identity means attraction to anyone

brunettes deep finger each other passionately with their legs wide apart! But how the fuck do you do that? And why would you touch yourself for such a stupid reason? If it's not a stupid reason why would it be something that you just do in order to touch yourself for no reason? "I like you. I don't hate you. I want to live with you. I wish you and your girl would love each other. But, she's a bitch." I guess you could try to make her not be too cute because she's a bitch, you see? It sounds like some crazy sick idea, doesn't it? You know, the idea that just because two people are kissing doesn't mean that they're loved or something? "We're getting married," she tells me after we're at my favorite Chinese restaurant and she's telling me that

lesbian step-sisters better not get caught by dad I am a straight guy and I love the idea of my daughters coming to me knowing I is going to give my wife all the money I earned to help them. But I love you mom, as you are only 16. You can't even pay lip service to the idea that you may want to have sex with a man. A recent CNN article discusses how straight men view sex in America, stating that it is not as common of a concept as it once was. In an age where we talk about having sex for love and not for a relationship, this is a reality and something I have taken to heart with a good portion of my life. It seems that all I can ever be is your wife while you do all the work because you know that you could never be my wife. Donate to the Komen for the Cure cause, and your choice will help those in need from the perspective of sexual accessibility. [Image via Shutterstock]

kissing stepcousins We have all seen in the tabloids the latest episode in the life of our most famous celebrity. And while the media may focus on his career in music (just like they do with most things of his). But, what's really interesting are these photographs of his famous girlfriend/stepmother, who now lives in another city to continue her relationship with him. A few days ago on a postcard of her favorite place, the photo, which was snapped at her house, spread all around and made news all over the internet. "How beautiful it looks here in London" wrote one person, while another wrote: "Isn't this beautiful… I love it here in London." The picture went viral after appearing on a tabloid website, that was featured today on The Sun's UK edition. The photo has caused anger online, which could cause a major backlash for our celebrity. "Well done to all you nice people who made the picture go viral, it truly will be appreciated" wrote one person. "You all will feel sorry”

two beauties in skin tight dresses go down on each other Totally naked: Miss Hensley takes the time to make a little girl squeal for attention in a very revealing outfit Gentle man: The sexy brunette is so happy to let the young girl enjoy a taste of her pussy that she bends over She takes the time to give to the girl her attention in a very daring outfit, her big tits bouncing as she lies back at the end of the sofa Not so cute: Miss Hensley is giving it up for this young girl to get off on her body and her face Taking advantage of her moment of pleasure the naked girl puts that ass above her head as she bends over and begins to gently suck Miss Hensley. The brunette pulls the naked young girl into a fierce kiss that goes on and on until both her boyfriends get involved. In this scene the girls end up lying side by side, the naked brunette is still licking her boyfriend's puckered snatch, the naked brunette is now pulling her puckered puckered lips

Carter cruise and aidra fox breaking point The UK Foreign Office has made it clear that any attack against Syria will be met with "the full force of the international community." But Britain's foreign secretary is under pressure from some in his own party to make clear that he has no intention of doing so. Jeremy Corbyn's right-wing faction has called on him to call a vote on military action, if the Tories refuse the opportunity to vote it into law immediately following a "no" vote. Meanwhile, his Labour's opponents on the frontbench have called for an end to the bombing campaign, warning that "there is no legal or moral legal basis" for attacking Syria. The argument is based on the assumption that the Assad regime is responsible for the chemical attacks. However, evidence from the UK government, the European Union and rebel groups suggests otherwise, and that those responsible have links to the Assad regime. Read next What is 5G and when is it coming to the UK? What is 5G and when is it coming to the UK? In particular, the British government

lesbian doctor Pamela Anderson, the actress who portrayed the doctor in the film, also appeared as the doctor in two episodes of The Cosby Show. Anderson was a cast member on season 1 before moving to the sitcom following season 2. Anderson has become more involved as an activist: In 2012, she co-founded the group Hollaback! Boston and helped launch the organization's first anti-pornography campaign. The Cosby Show, along with other Cosby classics, appeared in three different editions of National Television Day, a fundraiser for PBS sponsored by National Geographic that aired between July 21 and July 24, 1992, as part of the Summer of '92 celebrations. The Cosby show's stars participated in the event, with Bill Cosby appearing as himself in an episode entitled "My Father's House" and Joan Collins as a young Elizabeth. In 1996, Cosby was awarded a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, replacing comedian Jay Leno. In August 2012, the comedian wrote a piece for Cosmopolitan magazine entitled, "The Most Dangerous Woman in Comedy,"

sexy milf goes muff diving on a tight teen Beauty has a wonderful time at home with husband in the bedroom Honey in the honey hole and it will make you cum so easy. She is back, she was sleeping like a baby, and when she wakes she's horny for some fun. Watch her ride a big black dildo, she is so fucking hot. Her pussy gets so tight when she gets fucked so hard inside that one time. This is one hot scene to be experienced by all. The girls are sexy and amazing as always. Watch out for that pussy juice and cum oozing out of her mouth. Watch her swallow that hot black dick in one great blow job. She shows that pussy hole and the huge dildo is a total treat. Her pussy doesn't really want to be fucked at first, but she gets so used to it. She loves and loves to get fucked like a slut. Cum shooting out of her mouth and eyes is a huge pleasure. Watch.

tribbing dykes by 23 posted onby mrtcw (America's first war: civil rights and slavery.) To: ckramer What I am getting at is that you need to get in line and follow the rules. To: ckramer The first rule was not to kill him; the second was to do one of the following that you have to, or must, do to win a battle: a) Leave the area (if the area is not your area) b) Enter the area as a civilian To: ckramer A man can only make those decisions after he has spent his whole life and his whole fortune in the game that is his life. by 25 posted onby mrtcw (America's first war: civil rights and slavery.) To: mrtcw If you want to join the military then join the military. It will be nice to have someone who can provide that help. by 26 posted onby karath

young chick squirts everywhere http://i46.tinypic.com/2jg3sbn.jpg Lollimani: i had one chick from a few years ago with a huge cock (she is fucking huge now) http://i46.tinypic.com/2jgdml4.jpg Lollimani: she had very long hair and she didnt look like she got anything done while she was standing around on the dance floor, she was just sucking it http://i46.tinypic.com/2jgdmxv.jpg Lollimani: i did the same thing with a chick from 4 years ago http://i47.tinypic.com/2jg5o2h.jpg Lollimani: the little titties of these girls are huge http://i52.tinypic l-ll-im-o: i found girls with large butts that had huge dicks and they looked like they came from a cow or

nasty les I've been an anime fan for years. I've watched numerous anime series and many live action movies. I've even created anime character's for you all to see! This year I wanted to change up my style and bring a lot of original ideas to the table. My goal for the show was to have the character's personality be as original as possible! Character Design Style. The design style of My Little Pony: Equestria Girls have been decided by me. I have been playing the series since the beginning, and I really love the design of Ponyville. It can be seen from my character designs that the idea of a pony with a cutie mark is not my only style. I have designed every character I am giving money and time to. The amount of time I invest in this project is way beyond what I will ever get paid in other projects. In addition to designs, I have planned for every episode of the show every episode. This is not something you need to go to the page for.

good girls gone bad Cocaine - A drug like speed and often injected intravenously - Coughing - Nausea - Muscle spasm - Toxicity to the nervous system Marijuana - Used by children, usually to stay out of sight Benzodiazepines - Stimulants that lower the body's "fight or flight" hormones and may impair cognitive development, sleep and concentration Cocaine Cocaine is usually injected, and many of the drugs sold to make the drug more effective are more harmful than it looks - Toxic (especially for people under the age of 18) - Depressant - Addiction Cocaine - An addictive drug Cocaine - Strong stimulant - Stimulates the brain to produce more dopamine - Stimulant - Dependent on users to keep taking it - Depressant - Tends to depress the liver - Toxic (

seducing bisexual Seducing straight/homosexual Seducing the one you love but you arent comfortable with It's really that simple! As soon as you've found someone you love and you're not hiding it, that's the day that you'll see the light. In a few steps, you'll have all the information you need to connect with your new lover. It won't really help so much if you're using the wrong language - just use the words that have the right meaning. Afterwards, you can ask for a massage at the spa or if you have more than just sex, you'll find a nice, comfortable spot to enjoy yourself. It doesn't have to take 5-7 years to become comfortable with you new partner, you can find them within days. How to find the one to fit you: You should take notes about all your friends. You'll be in their shoes. A friend's girlfriend may be bisexual, but may never tell you. You

secretly filming lesbians being rough After watching the first three episodes of the reality show "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," which chronicled the lives of a rotating cast of women in their homes around the area of Beverly Hills, Calif., Melissa Gilbert said she was stunned by what she saw. And that shock turned into one of outrage, spurred on by an online petition that was shared by more than 500,000 people. On Thursday, Gilbert sent the cast a list of demands meant to force the group, made up of three women and seven men, to give up a few of their own personal rules and practices. [RELATED: RHOBH Cast Members Want to Give Up Their Own Personal Rules] In the petition, the women — "all of whom reside in various Hollywood homes that also house the RHOBH family" — ask that the show's producers and "anyone involved with the production of 'Real Housewives' immediately remove all filming that includes, but is not limited to, nudity." The women also demand that the show cease all filming of a specific kind of lesbian lifestyle.

Ass licking/ ass worship (Click to enlarge) (Click to enlarge) The picture below is a photo taken by photographer Jorgo Hoenisch from his perspective. It's kind of a cool photo of a couple in the middle of the street, a man's ass is in the middle of the road and his wife's (the woman below, in the second place) is in an alleyway. At the far right of the photo a small kid is sitting on the ground, a cigarette in his fingers.The picture below is a photo taken by photographer Jorgo Hoenisch from his perspective. It's kind of a cool photo of a couple in the middle of the street, a man's ass is in the middle of the road and his wife's (the woman below, in the second place) is in an alleyway. The first picture is not the real picture, it's taken by Hoenisch's wife after he had her taken for sex without having had sex with her. The second picture is his wife in a completely different outfit from the

blonde and brunette humping doggystyle like rabbits Hustled Hooters Hot Dog Horny Hustled Hustle Hustler I wish I were a guy...I'm like a hot girl for Hooters How many guys can you count? J Jack Rabbit Slim Jiggling J Johnny, Johnny Jodeci Johnnie Jack and Jill Jack and Jill Johny Juicy Jumpsuit Jumpin Juicy K Kitty Kinky Kicks Kicks and Foot Knife Kitten (kitten naturals) Kitchen Kiss Kiss a girl in real life and you are like a dog in a kitty! Kissing Kissing by a girl Kissing a woman in real life and you are like a dog in a Kitten

two girls one hot tub - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The Best of Bizarro, Vol. 2 This one is a little harder than the first one because they have a different story line. a. She's in an apartment building; it has a small bathroom. b. She's in a different apartment; the toilet was on the other side of the room. c. She's in a different apartment but the other bathroom is on the same side as the one with the small urinal. d. She's in a different apartment but the toilet was not on the other side of the room. e. She's in a room while another girl is naked in the nude, her head down. d. She's in a room while another girl is naked and her head up. e. She's in a room while another girl is naked and naked her own legs, her own feet. f. She's in

lesbian fisting 1.7 M 1.7M Black Magic Collection 1.0 by Gremlin Software movies eye 1.7 M favorite 7 comment 1 BlackMagic Collection 1.0 favoritefavorite favorite ( 1 reviews ) 1.7 M 1.7M The Library by Gremlin Software movies eye 1.7 M favorite 8 comment 1

super sammy CURRENTLY HELD WITHIN THE U.S. FROM A MAN WHO LANGUAGES ONLY DATE AND TIME SIGNIFICANCES. "THE U.P.S. MACHINE HAS A LABORATORY ON THE NORTHERN MARIANA. IT IS DESTROYED BY THE U.S. INVASION, BUT REMAINS AS A HISTORICAL RECORD OF A STRUCTURAL MECHANISM OF THE AMERICAN CULTURE, AND HAS BEEN RELEASED BY THE U.S. FOREIGN POLICY AGENCY FOR REFORMATION. [T]hrough extensive use of the machine in the construction of buildings and machines, the U.S. is developing a new architectural style, one which seeks to express the American Dream in an internationalised manner, by employing technology and design. The U.S. has already developed a distinctive design language. ... U.S. architects have been able to make their own marks on the world by their innovative

fbb lesbian She's a lesbian - you got that. This is the first one in the series where they meet as friends but the series is called A Friend In The Closet and it starts at this point. A friend in the closet. There are two sisters and they just get along great. They play music together with each other and it's so funny. The girls seem to like each other a lot - they even have a thing to do with making the hair look pretty in the mirror. A friend in the closet is a very romantic show, which I always find so hard to do. This one I think has a good amount of romantic comedy and it isn't all about just the sisters but there are a lot of characters with their own quirks and foibles and what they see and don't see. There are two other female leads in this series (both have a girlfriend at one point) and it is not without its ups and downs when it works but that's part of the point of a friend in the closet.

[mostlysnowing]

its ya boy here for another wall of text bc i don’t want to talk to anyone specifically about shit anymore i just want to type furiously and that usually fixes me for awhile.

i did alright on my essays? i got like a 72 and a 76 i think which is pretty dope

debating hard on a two door cinema club concert. i love their first album. hmmmmmmmmmmm. also tory lanez. but i think the only reason i’m chilling on that one is bc it’s in like september or something.

yooo they put up a trailer for masters of none s2 and i looove that show (like literally i think it’s one of the best shows ever created even though that’s probably not even close to being true) THERE’S ONE EPISODE THAT’LL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT IF YOU’RE FEELING ALONE IN S1 go watch ep 6 if you want to feel really bad about it

i’m tired

anyone else have major skipping class guilt? i feel so fucking bad even though attendance doesn’t even matter and in the end it would’ve made so little difference since it’s an elective so i’m not even that invested. 

ok so the best thing might have happened to me and my mom. my dad got this plot of land and it’s in like a hella tight place which is like beachfront and all that good shit. i realise that this part sounds weird but i come from a bunch of islands okay. anyways he’s giving it to my mom, they divorced bc he got a kid out of nowhere with someone else (and lmao he’s trying to get back with my mom now again i’m p sure) but anyways i guess he’s guilty or whatever so he’s giving it to us. and if it all ends up happening it basically sorts my mom out for life and she deserves it since she’s been through some shit. i might still need to quit uni and dip back home for awhile since she’s leaving her job too (that’s another v unnecessary story but her job sucks) and she hints at it sometime bc i think she wants me to say it but like she tells me how much she wants me to finish uni just as much. honestly i’m not bothered about it either way as much now but i guess we’ll see. also i’ll put this paragraph in the middle even though i wrote it first bc it’s too much too fast lmao.

i’ve become obsessed with touching my septum piercing with my upper lip. i actually can’t help it.

this is a really specific thought but i listened a bunch of playboy carti and was like man this shit just isn’t clicking. which i thought was weird since he was so hyped and i had no reason to necessarily dislike it. and like three days later in out of nowhere i couldn’t get ‘in new york i milly rock’ out of my head and i was like yeap there we go lmao. tbh i think i only like that song but still. 

i need to buy more sweaters

im so bad with animals i need so much time to get used to one but when i do its chill. 

i argue this a lot but i love that i have no exams i dont even care that i have like 69 essays. arts degree with the most useless major ayyyy we out there

but seriously tho ha ha h a, i mean i dont regret doing a philosophy degree but idk man. 

also a cashier said my fringe looked nice and it reminded him of his emo phase and i thought that was hilarious

and lets end it on a happy note

actually just kidding bc i went to check the date and it’s may and its gonna be two years since things happened. i don’t know if i feel like that’s ages ago or if it’s still kinda fresh. whats up lucia i hope ur doing hella good dude. i wonder if hearing from you will still cripple me w anxiety lmao i think yes considering the thought alone made me want to poop lmao. 

i gotta write something else now since no one wants to hear about that. i should rotate urls for real man this shit is getting too personal jesus christ get a diary u nerd

#6/5 #sorry mobile people since read more doesn't work for ya'll you dont deserve this

[part2coral]

LOS ANGELES

I feel like I haven’t updated this in forever. Like, two months. I went to fucking LA though and had one of the best trips of my life. And I’m going to write all about it here. 

So on February 15th, a Wednesday, Tori and I get a text from Austin in our group message asking us to come with them to LA the next day. The original plan was for just them two to go, but at the last minute they extended the invitation to us. It was SO last minute. Initially I was like, nah I can’t go. I’ll miss too much class and I need to do too many things. But as the night went on, it became more realistic as I thought of all the things I would need to get into order and how it could be plausible!

That night, there was an event called Jumprope for Heart that the ambassadors volunteered at. There, me and Tori and Dylan talked about the trip. Tori said that she’d go if I went, which made me like low-key excited. Nothing had happened with her since my last post besides just kind of hanging out sometimes with everyone and making jokes about the whole ordeal. We started kind of just talking about it openly. 

Anyway, by the end of the night it was set. We were going to leave for LA the next day. I spent all night finishing a lab and trying to get a tour covered and packing, and the next day we left around 5pm. Which was way later than originally planned, but whatever. The car ride there was actually not bad. It took about 10 hours. It was kind of funny cause no one even asked me/expected me to drive. Maybe it’s cause I’m Asian.

Wait, fuck, have i even talked about Austin in this blog yet? No I haven’t. I’ll make a post on him later. He is Dylan’s new boyfriend and he’s literally perfect and I love him more than I love Dylan. TBH. 

We arrived at Austin’s house at around 3am. It was HUGE and so freaking NICE. Austin took Tori and I upstairs and showed us our room and bed, which we would be sharing (this also excited me. was I going to get some lesbian action or what!?)

The next day we kind of bummed around. It was nice though cause Austin’s parents bought us all this food in the freezer and we were able to just hang out and nap. Around 2 or 3, we decided to go to Koreatown. This was probably my favorite part of the whole trip. On the way there, we challenged Tori to learn Korean in an hour, and she literally learned it so well that she was reading signs when we went to Koreatown! Korea town there is HUGE. So many Koreans everywhere, which was way awesome and really fun. We ate Korean food and talked about Korean things, and Tori was way into it which is a huge turn on.

This picture is one Tori put on her story of me. We also went to a big Korean market and shopped for Soju and snacks. Dylan was in a bad mood cause he felt “left out.” This entire trip he was being kind of a bitch lololol.

Afterwards, we surprised Simran! We went to her apartments and tried to plan it out to surprise her with her roommates. It didn’t work out very well and we had to end up telling her we were there so that she would come home. She did, it was a tiny bit awkward cause I think she was intimidated by my hot ass friends, but it was still so good to see her at UCLA. 

And then we went to a party!!! All of Austin’s friends still live in LA, and they threw a house party. I was a little hesitant at first cause Austin had warned us that they were very lavish, large living, models/actors. But we got there and had a blast! I started drinking and it was awesome. I fucking love being drunk. 

There was this one pretty hot guy there. His name is Ethan Daniel Corbett, and you can google him! He acted in some TV drama. Anyway, Tori thought he was way hot and I didn’t at first, but as the night went on and we got more drunk, I literally finessed him into a room where we started making the fuck out. But I really didn’t want to do anything else, so I told him we should get back to the party hahaha. Apparently he was like looking for me/asking for me the whole night according to Austin and Dylan. I’m proud of myself cause he’s fucking hot. 

So anyway, I didn’t know if Tori was down to fuck around. I mean, all we did that one night was makeout and suckle on each other’s tits lol but I didn’t know if she would be down to hook up again or not. But she is so hot and cold that it was hard to tell. But of course, add alcohol and all of a sudden I have the balls to flirt with her, touch her, etc etc. She was a little bit salty about me hooking up with Ethan though, apparently she was complaining about it to Dylan and Austin. 

Somehow, and I don’t remember how, we ended up in a bed in a dark room making out. At first, I faked resistance. Like, “Nooo I told myself I wouldn’t do this again and wouldn’t let your ass seduce me.” Kind of as a joke. Kind of not. But anyway, we started making out and it. was. awesome. 

I don’t know why, maybe it’s cause I was drunk, but there is something literally magical about kissing Tori. Maybe it’s just girls in general. They’re softer, and prettier, and have nice hair, and are just so delicate. It’s like handling a piece of art rather than a piece of... man. At one point, we even went inside a fucking closet to makeout. Cause she said I needed to “come out of the closet.” She was pretty sure I was not straight I think. IDK what I am. 

Sidebar: in the past months, I had told myself that this was a “phase.” I mean, I’m in college. Girls in college do this shit. The common theme is this: you get down to the pussy and you freak out. Realize you’re straight. Phase is over. I also told myself it would be a looooooong time before I ever ate pussy. Or did anything with pussy. Shit, it’s scary. I’d have to work up to it. I have one and I’m still terrified of it. I’m the type of girl who told my ex’s not to eat me out because I felt bad for them. 

That went out the window. Before I know it, she’s completely naked and my head is in between her legs and I am eating her out like you wouldn’t believe. Like I hadn’t had a sip of water for a month and her pussy was a fresh water fountain. Like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. Etcetera. 

I can’t remember if she ate me out there. But anyway, I went IN and I fucking LIKED it? Anyway, the boys started knocking on the door. So we put on our clothes. I think just she was naked. So SHE put on her clothes, I might’ve had a shirt off. I can’t remember. The boys wanted to leave cause people were starting to get crazy and fight or something. So we left. In the back of the car, we were fucking all over each other??? Fuck it was one of the hottest things of my LIFE. At some point we fell asleep in the back of the car. We got back to the house about 45 minutes later and were woken up. I didn’t know if our little hookup was over now that we had slept and the moment had kind of passed, but the second we got back upstairs into our room we were right back at it. 

We. Did. Everything. She ate me out. I ate her out. We fucking scissored, which was more for our amusement than pleasure. We were fucking around until about 3am, when we finally decided to go to sleep. The next day, though, waking up we were back to normal. Like didn’t even really talk about it and we weren’t even touchy or anything, although we fell asleep cuddling. The boys knew we had hooked up and so we made some jokes about it, but that was it. 

Holy moly though. The whole thing was incredibly enjoyable and incredibly H O T. Like dude. This is what really threw me for a loop. Like I said, I felt that this was a phase before this happened. But I liked it way too much. More than I have ever liked sucking dick or having actual hetero sex. 

Anyway. Day two. We woke up and went into the jacuzzi and laid out in the sun.

 Afterwards, we took Austin’s Rhino out. A Rhino is basically like a four wheeler off roading vehicle. It was so much fun but so scary, I honestly thought we were going to die like the entire time. We got mud flung in our faces the entire time but it was so freaking fun. 

Anyway. It was a lot of fun. That night, we decided we wanted to go out clubbing in West Hollywood. First, Tori did my makeup for me. At one point she told me to suck in my cheeks so she could highlight my cheekbones, and I just did a kiss face to mess with her. She kissed me. Romantic???????

But first, we went to Griffith Observatory. It was really cool and had a lot of cool exhibits. Then we headed down to West Hollywood and pre-gamed in the car. At some point I made out with Tori for like ten seconds. But while we were pre-gaming in the car Austin made a comment to Dylan about how we should hook up in the same room cause it would be exciting and hot. This set Dylan off like no other. He got WAY pissed. Like, he got so upset they got into a huge fight and Tori and I were just like, “...ok we’re leaving.” So we spent the next hour-ish going to the clubs and finding out that all the ones that we thought were 18+ were 21+ on Saturday nights. So we went back to the car, and they were still fighting. Then we left again and decided to walk around the supermarket. We were drunk. But anyway, it was pretty annoying. 

We went to a sex shop and Tori bought herself a vibrator, which was funny. She was actually way fucking pissed about the whole ordeal. I tried to keep an open happy mind about the whole thing and just be positive about it. But she was not having it hahaha. Anyway, she ended up driving us home and being pissed in the car while the boys were pissed in the back of the car. While I was just chilling cause I was happy.

We went home. No sex was had between Tori and I. Bummer.

The next day, we went to the beach and hung out. It was really nice there. We went to Venice beach. Then we got food and alcohol and went back to Austin’s house, where we threw a fucking party! This was such a fucking fun night. All the friends from the other party came over and we all drank and stuff. Before I got drunk, I wanted to kiss Tori. So I told her, “Hey. Can I kiss you before I get drunk?” I kissed her. Said thanks. Socialized. Drank more. 

At one point I went out to the living room and kind of took a semi-nap on the couch cause I was way sloshed. Tori came and found me and sat by me and was like, “hahaha you can’t hang!!” I hung onto her and kissed her. It was fun. She left cause Lady Gaga came on, but I hung onto her to try and make her stay. She still left LOL. Story of my life. 

At some point in the night, we all decided that we wanted to get butt ass naked and get in the jacuzzi, so we did. It was fucking crazy. I’m so insecure about my body but alcohol will make you confident out the ass. So we did it. We ended up jumping into the pool from this cave thing over and over, which was a blast. We went inside at some point and started watching literal lesbian porn. We were all half naked and lying around. At one point, Tori disappeared. I didn’t want to be weird cause she’s always so hot and cold and go follow her, cause I didn’t know what she wanted. So I just hung out and watched the porn hahaha. 

Cue the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me: it’s been ten minutes since she’s been gone, and I get a call from her on my phone. I pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Get your ass to the bedroom, now.”

There’s something about being desired by someone else that is such a turn on. I have never gotten so hot in so little time. I pushed Wyatt (Austin’s) brother off of me (he was lying on my leg) and literally sprinted the fuck up to the bedroom. I took five stairs at a time. I burst open the door. I swan dived into the bed. I fucking was an olympic diver into the pool of her pussy. Immediately started going H.A.M. 

And cue a replay of the prior night. Making out and touching and fingering and eating out and more funny scissoring. And I need to reiterate: I have never had more fun having sex, ever. Is this what constitutes lesbian sex? I don’t know what does, but I’m pretty sure we covered it. 

At some point, we remembered the vibrator that we had bought the day before. Or she remembered it. Is that why she bought it? I am so goddamn clueless on like, cues. But anyway, we spent the next twenty minutes running around the house naked looking for electronics to take apart to find double AA batteries. We finally found some, plugged that bitch in, and went to town on each other. Jesus Christ. It was insane. I fucked her with a vibrator and ate her out simultaneously?? WHO AM I?? IT WAS SO HOT??? I am no longer defining myself as straight. If that was as much fun as it was, there’s no way I can’t be into girl. I fucking love girls. 

Anyhow, I made her cum so hard that she was like, shaking for twenty minutes afterwards. Did she fake it? I don’t know. To be honest, I faked orgasm. I just couldn’t get there, I don’t know why lol. I think I need real dick pressure to cum? Even though I didn’t orgasm, it was still the best thing in the fucking world. It was so hot. I was so loud??? it was funny. 

We went to sleep. I tickled her back. Such romance. Much sensual. etc. I just like tickling people’s backs. Whatever.

Wake up the next morning. Not even touching. I decided to test the waters and be like, “hey, can I kiss you for like ten seconds?” She was like “you can kiss my ass.” I acted hurt as a joke and she got annoyed and literally left the room lol. What the fuck? Like I said, this bitch is an emotional rollercoaster. Does not know what she wants. Does not know anything. Is SO moody and SO bipolar. 

So whatever. That put me in an incredibly bad mood. But I tried to just be happy and chill. This was the day that we left to go back home. Dylan and Austin got into this huge fight because Austin wanted to stay long enough to see his parents come back from a little trip, but Dylan really wanted to go. He was just in a bad mood overall. Finally, we left to Austin’s dismay. I was down for whatever. 

It was awkward in the car ride back for a couple hours. We stopped in Las Vegas and walked around a casino and went to some shitty Asian buffet. Dylan was in a bad mood again. It’s so fucking weird. He’s just super pissy a lot and gets triggered way easily. 

At some point Tori asked to lie on my lap. She did that a couple different times over the trip. I played with her hair. This is a reoccuring theme in my relationships with people: I play with their hair in the back of a car and later we fuck. this has happened twice.

But this time, I was so fucking annoyed at her because you can’t give someone a stellar orgasm and then have them ignore you. It doesn’t work like that. I let her lie down, and I started fucking sensually rubbing her head hahahaha. I just was like dude fuck you I can be pleasurable when we’re sober you fuckign bitch. So usually when I played with her hair it was kind of timid and just like absentminded. But I was fucking giving her a scalp massage and touching her neck and shoulders and shit. Lol. 

Anyway. We got home and parted ways very early in the morning, like around 4am. 

The entire trip was way fucking fun though. Like, I’ll never forget it. Obviously I liked the part where I fucked Tori the most. The end.