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ella-se-vuelve-loca · 4 years

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Chapter 17

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

There’s 3 different P.O.V.’s in this chapter you guys! Lmaooo

Previous Chapter

(Y/N)’s P.O.V.

Seeing him begging for forgiveness the other day has made me think of a lot of things. He looked so hurt and it made me want to hold him in my arms and forgive him right then and there, but I couldn’t shake the thought of what he had done.

I’m so conflicted. I just want to punch him in his perfect teeth but I also just want to kiss those plump lips of his. I know I said that I didn’t want anything to do with him and that we’re over… but I still can’t help but feel differently. My head says one thing but my heart says another.

He’s still holding onto the hope that we can be together and I don’t know whether to push him away or kiss him. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I’m overreacting? Am I just saying that to myself just because I love him and I want to start over?

Pfft what am I even saying? He’s the one who threw it all away, not me.

“C’mon, (Y/N), tell me something about yourself.” Johann said as he leaned in and rested his chin on his hand on the table between us. “There’s not much to tell.” I took a sip of my coffee as he shook his head. “Not much to tell? Everybody has a story, nena. I’m just interested to know what yours is.” He smiled. “Let’s start off with one thing..”

“One thing. Okay uh..” I thought for a moment. “Something simple. Maybe something nobody else knows about you..?” I cleared my throat. “Um.. I can dance.”

“Enserio?” He asked and I nodded. “Yeah.” I chuckled. “Not many people know, but it’s the truth. I haven’t been able to really dance in a while because I’ve been busy, so I’m hoping to get back into it.”

“You gotta show me your dance moves one of these days.” He smiled. “I don’t know about that. Maybe one day.” I took another sip of my drink. “Mmm what about you?” It was my turn to ask. “Ahh there’s not much to tell.” He chuckled, picking up one of his tacos from his plate as I raised my eyebrow. “Now you’re using my words against me.” We continued talking for a few minutes before it became quiet between us.

I wish I was with Joel at this moment in time and not with one of his friends. This still feels kind of wrong and I don’t know why I’m even doing this. Hanging out with him just doesn’t feel the same as being with Joel. I know he said that he’ll help me get over him, but is that really what I want?

I moved a strand of hair away from my face. “Joel came to visit me the other day..” I said. “Oh, really?” He lifted up his head slightly and folded his arms across his chest. “And what did he want?”

“He just wanted to apologize and wants another chance.” I looked down at the empty plate in front of me as I thought about Joel’s tear stained face engraved in my mind. “He wants me to go to the airport so… I can go with him. So we could, I don’t know.. see the world, as he put it..”

“So.. are you going to give it to him or..?” I shrugged my shoulders and sighed. “I don’t know… I want to. I really really want to, but – ”

“You’re seriously thinking about it?” He cut me off. “Well no I… I mean..” He shook his head and sighed. “Mira, (Y/N), listen to me and listen to me well..” He started off. “He’s not worth it. Do you think he’s actually gonna have time for you considering the schedule he has? He’s busy 24/7..” He took my hand in his own and it just felt… weird.

“It’s time for you to forget about him and move onto more important things. You need to move on with your life and not wait around for someone who can’t give you the time of day and put in the work.” He smiled and rubbed his thumb over the top of my hand. “I… I guess you’re right.” I mumbled, slowly nodding my head.

“Trust me… I know what you need.”

“Is there anything else I can help you with?” I asked the customer as they shook their heads. “No, I think that’s about it. Thank you.” I nodded as they walked through the isles to get what they wanted. I sighed an continued hanging clothes on the racks as Andrea walked up to me. “Hey bubblebutt.” She smiled at me and I chuckled. “Hey numnuts.”

“How are you feeling today?” I raised my eyebrows and shook my head. “I’m fine.” I picked up another article of clothing and put it in a hanger as one of her hands rested on her hip. “Are you really?” I nodded. “Mhmm..” She sighed and handed me some clothes so she had a reason to be standing next to me and talk. “I hung out with Johann recently.” I spoke.

“Johann? From.. the cookout?” She asked and I nodded. “Yeah, he’s been wanting to check up on me and see how I’m doing.”

“Oh yeah? And how’s that going?”

“I’m not really sure. He’s nice but.. I don’t know. I’m kind of at a loss right now.” I hung up the last pieces of clothing onto the racks as I sent someone else to go put them away while I stood there talking with her. “I don’t really know how I feel about him.” She said as she crossed her arms over her chest. “When we met him, something just didn’t quite feel right.”

“Well, he was truthful with me. He told me that he found out what Joel was doing and thought that I should know firsthand what was going on. He had the balls to tell me and Joel didn’t.” I looked around and saw Enrique talking to customers that needed help with something. “I feel like he would tell me the truth even though it hurts. I respect honesty, you know that Andrea. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve been seeing him.”

“And the other reason?” She asked as I saw Enrique looking over at his lover and wondered why someone can’t genuinely look at me like that – with love in their eyes. “… A distraction..?”

“(Y/N), you can’t be serious.”

“And that’s what it is. It’s nothing serious.” I said. “You’re hanging out with one of his best friends. How do you think this will end?” She asked and shook her head. “(Y/N), I’m telling you this because I love you… but something isn’t quite right about him. Frankly, I don’t know why Joel ever associated himself with someone like him but that’s besides the point.” She gave me a sad smile.

“I know what that little shit did, but.. I knew there was something magical between you two. If only you could see the way he looked at you would you understand what I’m trying to say. I’m all for women empowerment and how we don’t need no man, but honey… that man loves you, despite of what he did.”

It’s almost as if I’m asking myself if I should stay or if I should go. Johann told me to forget about him and move on, and Andrea said that I should listen to my heart and don’t give up on love.

I gave her a small smile and saw a customer walking towards us, getting ready to ask us a question. “Hi, I’d like to try these clothes on.” I nodded and handed her a number. “Just go right on in.”

I’m so confused.

~1 Week Later~

Joel’s P.O.V.

I don’t know what I was expecting when I went to go to (Y/N)’s house begging for forgiveness a few days ago. She wants nothing to do with me anymore and it’s all my fault. I lost her… I completely lost her and I have no one else to blame but me. I found myself subconsciously going out of my way to make her laugh and felt myself gravitating towards her more and more and then I fucked it up in the end.

“Joel, c’mon! We’re gonna be late!” Erick said as he was quickly grabbing his things and making sure he had all the things he needed. “Tour starts today!” I got up from bed and quickly grabbed my shoes. I haven’t heard from her these past few days and I’m praying to God that she’ll be at that airport. I know she said that she didn’t want anything to do with me, but I don’t know… I just.. I have a feeling that she might be there. I don’t know how to explain it, but I do. Maybe there’s a chance for us to start all over again? Maybe she’ll surprise me?

I did a quick over check to make sure I had everything. Suitcase? Check. Passport? Check. Phone? Check.

I haven’t mentioned the whole situation to anybody just yet. I guess I had kind of hoped that I could fix us before we left. That maybe I wouldn’t have to explain to everyone why I suddenly stopped talking to (Y/N). I walked around the room to see if I’m missing anything as Erick opened the door and started walking out, me following behind him. “Let’s go.” He smiled.

The whole ride to the airport had me anxious. Will she be there? Did I do enough to get through to her so we could start over? I really don’t know. She said she loved me…

I guess this moment will tell me if we still have a chance. I’ll pay for her ticket so she can come with me and I can show her places she’s never been to before… or I’ll stay here if she wants me to so I can mend the broken bond between us.

“C’mon guys. Our flight leaves in 25 minutes. We gotta hurry up!” Clara spoke as we all got out of the car and ran inside the airport. We handed over our luggage that passed into the aircraft hold, went through security gates and into the departures hall and I still didn’t see her. There’s only a few minutes left. Please, (Y/N)… please tell me you’re coming.

I paced back and forth, looking side to side in hopes that she’ll come running through the door. “Joel?” I heard someone’s voice calling my name. I turned around, hoping to see her beautiful face, but was a bit bummed when I saw it was just Johann. “Hey dude. What are you doing here?” I asked as I walked up to him and greeted him with a hug.

“I heard you were leaving today, so I figured I’d see you real quick for a few minutes.” He smiled as I looked around. “Hey uh.. quick question. I know you don’t really know (Y/N) all that well, but.. have you seen her here at all? Do you know if she’s here?”

He shook his head. “No man, I haven’t seen her since the cookout.” My shoulders slumped as I thought about the last time we spoke. “Are you expecting her?” He asked. “I was.. I was kind of hoping that she would come and see me.”

“Man, I don’t know if that’s gonna be possible.” He swayed from side to side as he looked down at his watch. “Well, you don’t know that.” I sadly chuckled and thought back to our last conversation.

“Well as a matter of fact, I do.” He placed his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and looked up at me. “What do you mean?” I asked. “Joel, I’m not stupid..” He raised his eyebrow and gave me a small smile. “Let’s stop beating around the bush and talk about the elephant in the room.” He walked closer and spoke. “I know.. that she knows your secret..” I backed away from him and cleared my throat.

“She’s not coming.” He stated. “How do you know?” I asked.

“Dude, the way how she left Christopher’s made it pretty obvious. The look on her face… yikes.” I frowned at the thought of her crying because of me. “But there’s still a chance – ” He chuckled and shook his head. “No way. Open your eyes, Joel.” He placed his hand on my shoulder and side smiled at me. “You lost her buddy. I’m sorry.”

“Johann?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been thinking about that night for a little while and I’ve had the same question pop up in my head over and over again..” I said and slowly shrugged his hand off my shoulder. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

It just dawned on me…

“How did she find out anyways? You were like the one person I told my secret to and the night she met you… everything changed.” His posture changed for a split second before reverting back to how he was. “What are you saying? You think I told her or something?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“Accusing me? Me? Seriously?” I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed. “Joel, I’m your best friend. You’re confused and hurt and I get it! I’m not gonna hold what you say to me against you because of what you’re feeling. Besides, we don’t have time to get into it. You need to get on your flight.” He started to slowly push me to the gates before I stopped him.

“No no no wait a minute, I’m being serious.” I turned around and glanced back to see if she’ll be there. “How did she find out?”

“Joel, this is silly! You need to – ”

“What? I need to what?” I opened my arms and I could feel my anger rising. “Johann, I need answers now. Did you do it?”

Silence.

No answer is an answer.

“You told her, didn’t you?” I asked, confirming to myself. “You lying – backstabbing – son of a bitch. I trusted you!” He held up his pointer finger and slowly spoke. “I’d be very careful on how you word your next sentence, Joel.”

“Or what? What else can you possibly do?”

“Joel, c’mon! We gotta go!” Christopher spoke as I saw him walking towards the gate. “Looks like you’ll find out soon enough.” He reached down and held up my luggage. “I suggest you get on that plane and start that tour. I’m sure the cncowners would love to know what’s in store.”

“You’re not gonna say anything.” I pointed at his chest. “I’ve worked too fucking hard for this and I’ll be damned if you – ”

“Joel!” I heard Clara’s voice coming closer to me. “We have to go! Now!” I turned to look at her before putting my attention back on Johann. “You’re gonna stay away from her too.”

“Oh, am I?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re not gonna be here and she’s gonna need someone to.. be her shoulder to cry on, if you will.” He came closer to me. “Let me make this clear.. you contact her, I’ll spill your secret. Not only will your career will be over, but think of the boys. This is their job too you’re putting on the line. Once your fans find out what you did, there goes the band. Your five minutes of fame will be up. You’ll be history.”

“Why are you doing this? What have I ever done to you?”

“Maybe I want what you have. If I can’t have it, then I’m gonna have to get creative and take something else.”

I felt Clara grab onto my arm as I was slowly being dragged away. “Joel, ya vamanos! We need to go!” Johann smiled as my bags were being taken by Richard. “I’ll see you around, Joel.”

“No.. no, wait! I need another minute! She’s not here!” I spoke as I was getting closer and closer to the gate. “I’m sorry, Joel, but we have to go.” Clara said and handed in my ticket. I turned around last minute and saw him standing there waving bye as I got on the plane. “Have a safe flight!” He yelled out.

I slowly found my seat and saw Richard putting my luggage away up on top of the cupboard. “Dude, why the hell did you take so long?” He asked and I frowned. Why did I get my hopes up? I should’ve known..

“You okay?” I shook my head. It’s time to start being honest. I have to tell everyone. “No… something’s wrong. Something’s completely wrong.”

“Why? What’s going on?” He said as he sat down next to me. “It’s Johann…”

Things are about to get rough…

Johann’s P.O.V.

I stood there as I watched him get on the plane, now knowing the truth. “That’s right. Get on the plane..” I mumbled as the doors shut. I wasn’t really planning on telling him, but he just kept on pushing and pushing. This worked out better anyways.

Joel got everything.

He won La Banda, therefore him getting to live out his dream and perform for his fans… he has more followers, obviously because of his fame… he has the looks and the voice that the girls just go crazy for… and he got the girl. Not the one he originally wanted, but someone new.

Well if I can’t have everything, then I’ll have to take what I can. This is the one thing I won’t give him. It’s my turn for a little taste of what he has, or in this case, had. Jealousy really does a thing to a person, doesn’t it?

“Excuse me.. pardon me.. please I just..” I heard a voice voice coming closer to me. I turned my head and saw (Y/N) making her over.

What the fuck?

“Johann?” I turned fully and gave her a sad smile. “Hey, what are you doing here?” Seriously, what the hell is she actually doing here? I thought she said she was busy?

“What are you doing here?” She asked. “Well, I was just here to say bye to Joel. He’s my best friend after all, so I thought I’d catch up with him real quick before he left.”

“Oh.. well um.. is he still here?” I shook my head. “No, you just missed him.” Her shoulders slumped as she looked out the windows around us and wrapped her arms around herself. “Oh..”

“But I tried to stop him.” She glanced up at me. “I figured you would stop by, considering how our last conversation went, and see him off or something. So I tried to buy you a little time, but he wouldn’t listen. Said he had a tour to get to and he got right on that plane and left me standing here alone.”

She frowned slightly and bit her lip. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head. “No uh don’t be.. you.. you tried. That’s what matters, I guess.”

“Were you here to say goodbye?” I asked. “Something like that.. as much as he hurt me, I still..” She sighed. “Was I naïve enough to think he would wait for me, Johann?” I wrapped my arms around her shoulders as I guided her away with me. “Let’s not talk about that, his job is way too important anyways. C’mon, I’ll buy you breakfast. I’m sure you must be starving.” I smiled as she slowly nodded. “Yeah.. let’s just go.”

Game.

Set.

Match.

Next Chapter

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howtodisassembleyourdeviant · 4 years

Text

Be My Garden of Eden Ch.5

When he came to, he was staring at the roof of a dilapidated building, mildewed and stained. A system scan informed him of a replacement joint in his shoulder, and new thirium lines in place of the damaged ones. His chest plate was switched out as well, the dents and tears completely gone. Other places that had 'scarred' were sautered closed and buffed out. With his synthetic skin on, they were no longer visible.

He's been at this address before, with a client. Where were you? How long has he been here? His injuries were repaired, so it must have been real, right? It wasn't another elaborate fantasy, was it? Was he getting so lost in his head that he could no longer tell dreams from reality? Was it so far-fetched to believe you cared about him?

That he could be free?

No, please, no. He can't go back, not anymore. Not to that repulsive club. To the horrendous people and that vicious owner. You were his owner now. He was gonna live with you and be whatever you wanted him to be. He was going to be happy.

His view of the roof became obscured, so he blinked, feeling something run down his face. He touched it, fingers coming away wet. Looking up again, he could see no fresh watermarks above him. Water kept filling his eyes though, and he kept having to blink it away. Was this… was he crying? Can androids cry? He rubbed at his eyes as a sob erupted from him. What if his client saw? He needed to stop, he needed to-

"-Piece of work, you know that?" Your voice rang, full of annoyance. The panic that had been threatening to suppress him released its grip almost immediately.

"I just calls it as I sees it. Though, gotta say, you picked yo'self out a fine slice." A male voice rang out, laughing. A program he had automatically ran the voice through some kind of database.

Eugene "TriXx" Wilhelms

Born: 10/11/2016

Criminal record: drug possession with intent to sell, possession of illegal substance, forgery, theft, identity theft, assault, assault with a deadly weapon, driving without a license.

He never understood why a sex bot needed this kind of program. It completely undid the point of discrepancy. He had learned many people's background this way, but he could do nothing about it. They were paying clients and he was their toy. This man, however, he had met before, in a similar building, selling meth to one of his clients. He had his own android with him, a PL600. Something about the android made his synthetic skin crawl, but he had no reason for it. He had never met him before, nor did he do anything of particular interest.

The real question was, why were you here, and with such a dangerous man? Sitting up, he found you heading toward him.

"Connor! How do you feel?" You looked him over, taking his face and looking him up and down. It was then that he realized he was dressed, wearing a grey sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans. They felt nice. Not as comfortable as the over-sized clothes you had lent him, but far better than his old clothes, or running around in only those horrible briefs. You had switched out of your black tights, wearing tight-fitting jeans instead, though you still wore the same boots. He could see the trace amounts of thirium still staining them.

"I'm okay, " Con answered. Your hands wiped at his tears, smile melancholic. "Where are we?"

You looked back at the man, hesitating, before turning back to Connor, removing your hands from his face. He already missed your touch and your actions filled him with dread. Why did you look so serious?

"Connor, I haven't been truthful with you." Your voice was a little shaky, so you cleared it in an attempt to steady it. He reached out, taking hold of your hand. He might not know what this was about, but he didn't like how uneasy you seemed. "Remember when I told you about that special group who believes androids are changing?" He nodded. "Well, as you might have guessed, I'm a member. Eugene," you gestured to the man behind you, "is also a member."

"It's TriXx."

"Shut it!" You quickly snapped at him before turning back to Connor, "because of Eugene's… chosen profession, he often sees androids that are being abused or suppressed. Most of the time, they're domestic androids. People can report them missing but without any human evidence, they have no way to trace them, so it just becomes another police report and another citizen for Canada." You sat down next to him.

"However, sometimes he sends me a curveball," you glared at the man currently tossing a dirty vase back and forth, "androids that are owned by clubs, even seedy ones, are far easier to track. They're more expensive, so the clubs are more willing to put in the effort of finding them, or at least, persecuting the ones who stole them. So-"

The vase shatters, making you jump. Connor only held your hand tighter.

"So?"

"…So, I have to purchase them. Eugene makes them fake IDs and passports and we send them on their way. We have members in Canada that will take them in until they can find a job and another place to live."

Connor was quiet for a few moments. Is that why you bought him? To send him away?

"What if they don't want to leave?" He looked into your eyes, a silent plea behind them, begging you to let him stay.

"If not, there is a place in Detroit, hidden away from the humans. Only an android can find it. It's called 'Jericho'. Paul has the key. Speaking of which, where is he?" You looked around.

"Went ta drop off medicine to one of our associates," Eugene kicked at some of the shards, crushing a large one under his boot, "He'll be back soon. I was gonna go, but he's rather fond of the ol' lady. She even insists he calls her 'Abuela'. Makes 'im tea every time he sees her, knowin' full well he can't drink it." She sounds like a nice woman, Connor thinks to himself.

"Well, as much as I enjoy your company," your voice was positively dripping with sarcasm, "I'm not waiting three hours in this musky, old house watching you sell drugs. Tell Paul thank you for fixing Connor and loaning him some clothes." You stood up. Connor stared, unsure if he was supposed to follow you or stay here with Eugene and go to Jericho. When your hand reached down, he was relieved, taking it and following you out.

"Catch ya later, Color Wheel!" Eugene called out to you.

"Color Wheel?"

"He's been calling me that since middle school when I would show up to class covered in paint."

"I see." While Connor found that to be interesting, he was only half paying attention. His current objective was finding a way to stay with you. He doesn't want to go to either Canada or Jericho. He doesn't want to leave you.

You both climbed into the automated taxi, and he quickly determined it was the same one as before. The blood looked to have been cleaned, but a program he didn't know he had kicked in, showing the large stain that had since evaporated. His systems told him that was five hours ago, and he was still wondering in what way this could ever be useful to a sexbot. If anything, it would be considered disturbing to know how long a stain was left somewhere.

It was dark by the time they reached your home. Using the flashlight on your phone, you walked up to the front porch, Connor following close behind. You managed to unlock the door, going inside. He was perplexed when you headed for the kitchen, still using your phone as your only light source. You came back with matches, lighting the candles scattered around your living room. Testing his theory, he flicked on a light switch. Nothing happened.

"Can't get nothing past you, can I?" You laughed, "electricity is off. I'm taking care of it tomorrow. We'll just have to find a way to entertain ourselves in the meantime."

The way the golden lights reflected off your skin, creating an almost ethereal glow over your face, it captivated him. He wanted to touch you, feel if you are real. Realizing what you said, he snapped himself out of it. These "free" thoughts were becoming more intrusive than before.

"Why was the electricity turned off?" You shrugged your shoulders.

"Couldn't afford it. It's fine, though." You tried to brush it off, but he knew he must have been a contributing factor, if not the main reason.

"I'm sorry." Eyes at his lap, he fiddled with the edge of the sweater.

"Don't be. I would do it again if I had the option. Plus, it's not like its winter yet, so I can handle a few days in the dark. It's already being taken care of, so don't worry about it." Hearing that this was not even the first day did not go over his head. How long have you been sitting in the dark? How could you paint under these conditions? The sun shines through your studio for a while, but not nearly long enough for you to finish any paintings, especially as the days get shorter.

You lit the candles over the mantle and Connor's heart stopped.

Carl's painting was gone.

"Where-"

"Pawned it." you cut him off, looking at the unnaturally vacant space, "his paintings are far more valuable than mine."

"Why? Wasn't it important to you?" How could you pawn such an expensive gift?

"It was my only viable option. Besides, I'm sure Carl would approve." He still looked upset. "If you don't believe me, you can ask him yourself. I've been meaning to pay him a visit anyway." He nodded. He would like to meet him.

"When do you think that will be?" He asked. You contemplated that for a moment.

"Probably not until the day after tomorrow. I'll have to call and see if he'll be home. Tomorrow, we're gonna see if we can't find you some more clothes."

"Clothes?"

"Yeah, you're gonna need a disguise to get across the border." Connor tried his best not to wince when you said that. At least now, he had an idea of how long he has to convince you. He set a timer, but pushed it out of his vision. Watching it tick down so quickly was making him anxious.

Chance of Success: 50%

After a few moments, you spoke again.

"I'm sorry." Connor stared at you, perplexed.

"For what?"

"For not helping sooner. I wanted to, I really did, but-" Connor took hold of your cheeks, feeling as they heated up.

"It doesn't matter. You saved me, and I can't thank you enough." He smiled softly, watching the way the lights of the candle flickered in your eyes. A thought occurred to him, or rather, an urge. He was drifting closer to you, almost like a magnetic pull. He kept looking down at your lips. They look soft, and he wonders how they would feel. He was so close, mere inches away when you turn your head. He pulled back, withdrawing his hands. What was he thinking? Of course you don't want him to touch you. You were only tolerating it until he was shipped off. You stood up suddenly.

vvChance of Success: 39%

"I-I'm gonna make a sandwich. I'll be right back!" You were nervous, unable to control the volume of your voice. Quickly, you scurried off to the kitchen. Connor sank further into the couch, a sense of gloom lingering over him. Why was he always screwing things up?

"Do you need some blue blood?" You shouted from the kitchen. His levels were only at 82%, but frankly, he didn't feel like drinking.

"No, thank you."

"Alright, they're in here if you want one." He just wanted to sit here. He wants his mind to stop pointing out the obvious. That he was a dirty, used sex machine and there was no way you would want him. Even if he wasn't, he was incompatible. You were human. You would want to be with another human, someone to start a family with.

These thoughts were so much worse after he broke the red walls. What did that even mean now? If he knew you were going to buy him, would he have been so eager to tear them down? They might have been oppressing, but at least he didn't know what 'this' felt like. A feeling akin to wanting to disappear, just, not existing anymore.

Connor was unusually quiet, and his LED flickering more yellow than blue, and you thought you saw some red mixed in. It had been half an hour since you came back with your food. You wished you had more in the ways of board games or card games, but all you had was a checkerboard and a jigsaw puzzle you bought on a whim years ago. You taught him how to play, and he quickly started kicking your ass at it, but it didn't so much as earn you a sincere smile. You moved to sit next to him, to which he didn't react.

"Hey, " you put your hand on his shoulder, prompting him to snap out of his thoughts and look at you, "You doing okay?"

"I'm alright, " he says, but his LED is still flickering. Your thumb started to stroke the junction between his shoulder and neck.

"If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine, but I'm here if you need me." There were so many things he wanted to ask you, so much he wanted to know, but he hesitated. If... If you didn't feel the same way towards him as he did you, he didn't want to know. If he didn't know, he could believe there is a chance he could sway you.

There was something else eating at him. Something you might have an answer for.

"When I was at the club, while the owner was..." He didn't want to say it, to think about it. Your hand squeezed his shoulder, encouraging him to continue, "Something strange happened. There were all these... Red walls, instructing me to follow the owner's instructions. If I had, he would have destroyed me. I... I was scared, and... Angry. I started tearing at the walls, and they crumbled so easily. Next thing I knew, I could do whatever I wanted. I could defend myself. I could leave the club. I could go-" Find you, he thought, but he halted his ramblings before he could dig himself deeper. You took his silence as him finishing what he had to say, trailing your hand down and taking his hand. He hid the shiver that was left in its wake by slowly exhaling. You were smiling wide, as if it was the best news you had ever heard.

"You broke through your code."

"What?" That's... That's not possible... Is it?

"You broke through your code. It means you don't have to listen to anyone if you don't want to. They call it "deviation"." He only seemed more confused, "just see for yourself. I'm listed as your new owner, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, I order you to cluck like a chicken while hopping on one leg."

A part of him wanted to do it simply because it was you who asked, but it seemed so... Ridiculous. His eyes widened when he realized he wasn't even making a move to stand, let alone impersonate a chicken. An idea even came to him, something he decided to take a chance on, just to gauge your reaction.

"Woof, " he said, smiling proudly. You laughed, shoving him playfully.

"Okay, wise guy, you get the point, " you giggled, "this is great! The last android wasn't a deviant and took two weeks to help her break her code. This will save so much time!"

His smile fell.

vvChance of Success: 12%

"What?" Your own cheerful demeanor dropped, replaced with concern.

He looked to you, eyes begging you. He was asking too much, but he can't do this. He can't.

"Why do I have to leave?" You seemed confused, not in the sense of misunderstanding, but more like it had never occurred to you.

"Do you... Do you not want to?"

He couldn't force the simple word out. He was being selfish, and he knew it. How could he ask this of you, when you risked so much for him already? You were sitting in the dark because of him! He should have kept his mouth shut.

"You know, I actually could use some help around the house. With me painting all the time, it's gone a little neglected. I could also use a model from time to time. Would you mind sticking around, just a little while longer?"

^^Chance of Success: 89%

"Yes. Yes, of course, " he spoke softly, in shock, before pulling you against him in a hug. Your sharp yelp, followed quickly with laughter soothed him. A little longer. It was a start.

#rk800 connor reader #connor fanfiction #detroit become human #rk800 #gaming #dbh au #connor dbh #@witchjules #@michaels-endtime #Don't know if y'all still wanna be tagged

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glittercndgcld · 3 years

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( 𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑥 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎 )

📲 text messages | @xboutlxstnightmuses

monica this is how it goes, mon amie. Engagement is off and i am returning to NY short version long version...he wants to find himself and he left for canada yesterday. good thing is that he gave me a huuuuge amount of money for "emotional support" 🙄 did he actually mean it for a therapist? Cause i don't need his money. I need him. all this time...i gave up new york for him i need your help to find an apartment and i am talking with people in general about opening the dream business i never got to open BECAUSE I WAS WORKING DOUBLE SHIFTS TO BE WITH HIM

peter Okay, so passports are pretty expensive, but I can swing it. Then, we go to Canadan and we hire a private investigator, okay? We can track him down and hurt him. We can hurt him real bad. I never liked him - I told you I didn't like him. God, Monica. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that - no one does. He's an asshole and I always knew you could do so much better than him. Total pos! You gave up a lot for him, and for him to pay you back like that makes me really want to hunt him down. But I'm not really that scary. I know people though, you just give me the word! You know I'll help you out. You can crash with me, even. Until you find a nice apartment. I KNOW AND YOU'RE AMAZING FOR IT For emotional support? You should've punched him in the adam's apple.

monica i always wanted to go to Canada....but now i don't even want to think there is such a place hell i don't want to hear the name Andew never again after 10 years of being together, he breaks up with me through an email and sends me money to my paypal account i didn't know i had paypal PETER :scream: it is alright....i guess love isn't going to be my thing it is gonna be interesting to hunt him down but...yeah. maybe karma is going to hunt him down. thanks :heart: you are probably the only person that i can count on

peter Honestly, what a fucking dick, mon - and you know I don't even talk like that, but WOW! I'll never speak that name to you ever again. And yes, that is a promise! THROUGH AN EMAIL?! God, I am hoping you're kidding, but also know that you definitely aren't - what was he thinking??? I swear to god, mon, when he inevitably comes crawling back to you, you better not take him back. He doesn't deserve you and now I think you can agree. If you don't want his money, cancel the paypal account. I mean, you'll be just fine without his 'emotional support'. Just because you wated 10 years on one undeserving pos, doesn't mean they're all undeserving. And I only say that because you deserve love. You know? You just gotta find it. He kept you from doing that the past 10 years. Karma will absolutely hunt him down. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when it does. You can always count on me. I'm glad you know that.

monica Dear Monica, It has been like what? 10 years since I have met you in New York and it was love at first sight. I can't do this anymore, though. I feel like we are the same. I still love you but it feels like you have been blocking a part of me that i never got to explore. I think I am starting with Canada. The money that we have been saving for our wedding is sent to your paypal account. I will always love you. I am sorry. it is still my money...no idea how to use it though? WHY PAYPAL THOUGH ? another forbidden word: paypal the wound is way to fresh to talk about who is deserving of love and who isn't at the moment he also sent me a text with the emotional support thing do you really think that he is going to return back? just booked tickets. Is this Thursday okay?

peter WOW he literally broke up with you via email... what a fucking coward! I mean, who even does that?! In that case, he better give it all back to you. It better all be there. Your guess is as good as mine. Got it though - two words you'll never hear leaving my mouth. You are absolutely right. I just want you to know though - this has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. You're literally the best. I do think he'll come crawling back! Why wouldn't he?? You're a catch and he just willingly let you go. He'll realize he's made a mistake at some point and he'll want you back. Yeah, of course! I'll be free for you. If I have class, I'll leave a key for you.

monica apparently my ex fiancè it is all here ; but at the moment i feel like it is cursed. And honestly??? I do not know how to use it, because I already have money saved Maybe i was too oblivious to see it. That he was unhappy. Thanks though:heart: i hope i don't accept him that easily when he does that. I feel so desperate at the moment. I mean...i still love him:sob: thanks :smiling_face_with_3_hearts:you da best

peter I’m so angry! I hope I never see him again or else he might regret it. Save it for whenever you might need it. A savings to the savings account :thinking: you’re moving to NYC - you just might need it. It happens sometimes. Besides, you aren’t a mind reader. If he never communicated that with you, it’s hard to really know. Of course. I mean every word! I hope you don’t either. I understand that and it’s okay, too. You’ll move on eventually, and it’ll feel great, I promise you. Second to you.

monica you're right about the savings account maybe it wasn't. Maybe i ignored all the signs. i mean damn....we were fucking living together...why didn't he say it to my face? Why email? And text? Why in the middle of the night? Was I pressuring him that much? I wish i was a mind reader. I am so sorry for monopolizing the conversation. It has been a long time since we actually talked and I heard about your news and New York:heart_eyes: but it actually feels bad at the moment. That it will never end. And I will never find love again because love doesn't exist. or i was just thinking i was in love for 10 years. AND I thought that this was it but it was totally fake I sound like a bad chick flick movie aatm but men are :pig: besides you of course :shushing_face::shushing_face::shushing_face: you are :candy::candy::candy::candy::lollipop::lollipop::lollipop:

peter Try not to beat yourself up so much, Mon. It really happens to the best of us. I know, hun. I know. He's an asshole - that's really the only conclusion I can come up with right now. An unappreciative., inconsiderate, stupid asshole that's just made a really stupid mistake. I wish we were both mind readers. That'd have made things so much easier over the years. Hey, don't apologize to me, okay? I'm here for you just like you've been here for me over the years - to listen to all the venting. It's been a little while and I hate the circumstances you've texted me under, but I'm really glad to hear from you. Oh, you ain't missing out on much over here. It will and you will. But you've gotta be open to that sort of thing to find it, you know? Just give yourself time to get through it. Men are :pig: This is part of the reason why I've been single for the past 2 years :upside_down: Ah, I try sometimes.

monica I doubt New York hasn't got anything new to give. We need to plan what we are going to do once I arrive!!! I can't be open at the moment. It doesn't feel like it's worth it. oooh bad luck there? I bet you have charmed a lot of people, though. And they were too shy to let you know!! I mean the older you get, the more gorgeous you become. It's a gift! The sweetness is still there :heart: so anything I should bring from Langley? Anything you missed? ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING( pancakes for example) my mom says she misses you. She's gonna be in charge of the moving-my-stuff-from-Washington-to-New York... I doubt I can carry more than three suitcases with me at this point :hugging::hugging::hugging: but I'm willing to try that

peter Always something new and better out here in these parts. God, I know!! There's so much we could do. I haven't hit the city in quite a while and now I'm looking forward to doing that with you. I found a really good karaoke bar :smiley: I understand. But you know I'm going to try to be that voice in your ear saying not to give up on finding what you not only want, but what you deserve. Not the best of luck. But I mean, in all honesty, since James, I haven't really put myself out there either. The few times the opportunies might've arised, it just didn't feel right. So I don't pursue anything. You flatter me though. I do believe you're just saying that because you're my best friend, but still, thank you :hugging: I don't know, can you fit my parents in your luggage? Lol other than that, definitely pancakes and just you. Other than my parents, I miss you the most. Ah, tell her I said I miss her, too! Does that mean she'll be coming by or is she getting your stuff shipped over? Yeah, I doubt that as well. Especially when one suitcase is about the size of yourself, I imagine :laughing:

monica hmmmm 1) don't drown yourself with work Mr Brice. And 2) yeah, okay...I am all in for going to a karaoke bar...because who knows? I'm actually searching ideas for mine, as well :wink: thank you, little voice in my ear :heart: but it will be hard from now on to trust anyone. Maybe, I should look out myself first and not put things I want to do on the side. Maybe that's what's the lesson here. i say as i finish the 4th packet of paper tissues :/ I'm sorry about that. I am not the right person to just tell you that you will find your one and only. Maybe I can come and we can grow old.... oh....did I mention that I was thinking of getting a stray cat and taking it to the vet so that we can adopt it and all? black and persian. he who must not be named was allergic so my mom would keep it. Maybe we can bring the cat to the mix and start a thing? I speak only the truth :heart: I can ask them to come more often though? aw I miss you too, so much ;* she misses you because I just told her that you'll be searching for a private investigator in Canada and she's on the same boat as you :stuck_out_tongue: was that a comment about my height? or about how big my suitcases can be?

peter 1) is there any other way to work? You know I can't not drown myself in it. I have nothing better to put my focus, time and attention towards. 2) Perfect. Let's do it then. We can hit a few, even, to give you some inspiration. You are so very welcome. I know. And that's truly understandable. I think focusing on yourself is a great idea, actually. Hey, if we aren't married by 40, I propose we just get married ourselves. Maybe by the time i'm 40 - because i'll it the big 4 0 before you do :grimacing: A cat? That's cute. I've thought about getting a pet myself, actually. I'd love a dog, but I think they require way too much attention than I'm able to give right now. But cats, they take care of themselves. Ah, it's such a long trip, I don't know if they're up for it. I'm hoping to make a trip out there this summer. It's been too long since I've seen them. You better! I'm really happy to have you here. It's not the same when I can't go running to you for advice, to vent to or complain to. I miss you a ton. :laughing: I have no doubt that we're on the same page here. I'd bet she'd have castrated him if she could've. Hm, both?

monica NOW I am even more excited to see you NOW I am even more excited to see you heeere's to inspiration :champagne_glass::champagne_glass::champagne_glass::champagne_glass: meeeh two years later, I will join big team 4 0. It is as scary as the 3 0 and I believe being 30 is muuuuch more awesome than the 20s yeah...i am thinking of names at the moment . She is super beautiful. I always wished i had a cat like that see we already have a family of our own. You & me, the cat and your future dog :man_dancing::dancer::cat::dog: yah and it is surprising because she actually liked Andrew wrong answer but you're cute so I will let it go honestly here's to the new era that we can vent and talk face2face :smiling_face_with_3_hearts::smiling_face_with_3_hearts::smiling_face_with_3_hearts:

peter You mean you had to have karaoke bars thrown into the mix to be more excited to see me???? :champagne: I will always cheers to that - inspiration is a great thing to have! 30 wasn’t that scary for me, actually. 40 though... next comes 50, so that’s a little :grimacing::grimacing::grimacing: But I do agree about your 30s being more awesome than your 20s. Awh, you’ll have to send me a picture sometime! We’re off to a great start! I want a Great Dane though - thoughts? :thinking: VENT AND TALK FACE TO FACE - that’s going to be so awesome! You’re the only piece missing from NYC for it to be like, perfect to me.

monica Well, you're always a sight in karaoke bars-what can I say?!:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: we'll still have our fun both in 40 and 50, no? The problem here with every age is that society expects you to do certain things as you get older. We just have to outgrow society and be more open. I have been following society's norms and I was feeling happy with myself for finding THE ONE for 10 years and what did it get me? Besides, yeah, okay...Andrew is an asshole...but it's society's fault that he was pressured into marrying me. Feelings-aside, still. Other than that, all there is feelings and doing what you love to do. oh my God-why did I get so philosophical? with another packet of paper tissues finished

monica I'm going to try-I have to go through multiple bureaucracy situations for her, but be sure, you'll get to meet first of them all in New York. Mulan....is a good cat name, right? Great Danes :heart: YES I am aaaaall in aw you are the sweetest-I loooove you :candy:

peter It's so much fun! I don't even have to be drunk to get up there :laughing: I'd like to think so! We always have fun, anyways so there's no doubt in my mind. Yeah... I know, Mon. You aren't wrong. Not at all. BUT he could've handled it all so much better than he did. Maybe he was pressured by society or whatever, but god, he owes you more than an email. He really is an asshole. You really did get pretty philosophical :joy: but you really aren't wrong. Stop telling me that you're crying when I can't hold you, okay? It hurts my heart. fantastic. I'm looking forward to meeting her! Honestly, it's a great cat name Wow, I wasn't expecting you to give in. Great Dances are like... the size of you. You know I loooove you, too :hugging:

monica yeeees. You need voice lessons and you'll probably have a role in the ensemble in ANY show. You should really consider it. I think you're more focused on the email than I am. And I cannot focus on anything. I hope I still have enough tears, when I meet you, cause I miss crying together over boys xD Thaaaaanks :heart: See-she's gonna be the size of her mom Is it okay if I go for a couple of minutes? Do you have time to Skype later? I promise...I'll try not to cry.

peter Oh, god. I highly doubt that, even with voice lessons. But thank you, the thoughts nice :laughing: It was a shit thing to do, Mon. Such a shit thing to do. I miss having boys to cry over! :joy: I cannot wait to see you, best friend :hugging: Yes! She is. It'll be so cute. Can you imagine our holiday pictures?? Of course! Yes and yes. I'll be free most of the day, so just text me when you're ready for that Skype call!

monica I hope you'll never have boys to cry over, Pete!! OH MY GOD. The holiday pictures!:heart_eyes: Great. Cannot wait ;*

#muse : peter brice #peter x monica #peter x monica 001 #peter 002 #peter : texts

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diarrheaofthekeyboard · 4 years

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Confluence of Updates

7.26.2020

Writing on Writing

In addition to weekly therapy since November, I have been watching School of Life videos on YouTube. The latest video I watched helped confirm for me that I’m on the right path. I’m never going to eliminate my Inner Critic or ever feel completely comfortable with myself. I think if I did, that would be something extra-human. Neither are realistic goals. This particular video’s intent was to get people to write a journal. In a nutshell, you can’t keep it all in. Give yourself a daily mental outlet where you can release your thoughts and you’ll have less mental anguish. Well, here we are! Glad I’m on the right path.

This may be the reason Sunday nights have recently become the most difficult for me. Brain won’t turn off, but it’s because I haven’t had what I’m trying to turn into my daily routine of walking in the morning and writing at night. The out I’m giving myself is this is all new and it takes some growing pains to get it right.

Writing on Walking

I try not to spend money these days but any new venture is going to have some startup costs. My sneakers should be good for another month or so if I stick with it. I’ve been keeping my mask in my pocket, but that makes it difficult to pull it out when I actually see people, so I bought some neck gaiters I can pull up to be a mask. But the two big things were new headphones and shirts.

The headphones are a big deal because of “the thud of footsteps”. As you may have figured out by now, I actually listen to music. It’s not just a beat or a background to keep me going. I’m actually interested in hearing it, reacting to it emotionally, having my own internal dialog about it, and just plain enjoying it. I can’t do that while walking because I hear the thud of my own footsteps with my headphones on. Happens with my Amazon Basics on-ear headphones, which are actually super awesome Monoprice headphones, and it also happens with my Sony earbuds I bought for phone calls. Turns out the Amazon ones are on-ear, closed back. And with the way earbuds have been redesigned, they create a closed back type effect.

So I made an educated guess and took a chance on some KOSS open air, on ear headphones. Remember the shitty headphones that came with your Walkman? Those were open air, on ear headphones. Those are the ones I used to listen to Megadeth at top volume on in the back seat of my parents’ car so I didn’t have to listen to their shitty lite-fm radio. I found some good ones from KOSS that won’t make my ears hurt after listening to them for 30 minutes and they arrived today. Put them on, took three steps, no thud. Yeah, you can hear the music if you really get close to me. But it’s not like I’m crammed onto a subway around here. Monday will be the real test but so far it seems like $30 in Amazon points well spent.

Now you may ask yourself, “why are new shirts a big deal?” I think it’s about self worth and there’s a bunch going on here.

To this point, I’ve been wearing whatever t-shirt I want to walk. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with them. But they’re yer basic men’s printed band shirt or otherwise printed shirt. So they trend kinda heavy and not too comfortable. But you’ll be able to wear them through armageddon. Some of them are 10 to 20 years old. So there’s a lot of personal history and/or bullshit associated with them. Not only because of whatever is printed on them that I obviously liked. But also because of where/when I’ve worn them and how they’ve been associated with certain places. I don’t want to get rid of them or necessarily stop wearing them. But I do kinda just want to put them in a box at the bottom of my closet and start over.

Then there’s the deserving part. I have more than enough varying degrees of uncomfortable shirts, I should just wear them and be done with it. I’m not good enough for new shirts. Especially some new shirts that are obviously designed for workouts and sports. I’m about 40 pounds overweight. I need to lose half that weight first and really get into a routine before I’m approaching good enough for new shirts. Otherwise, I’m just some pudgy poser.

And I’ve been listening to this bullshit from my internal dialog for the past month, as I have been walking around my neighborhood. Well, we’re almost at the end of the month and I’m still going. And as I’m putting them in the cart and buying them, a 14 year old memory trying to get me to stop pops up.

From ‘05 to ‘08 I played guitar in an off-off-off Broadway production of Oedipus. We actually did all three plays during that time. And the best way I can describe the production is “What would happen if George Orwell wrote Oedipus, and it played out on American Idol?” In 2006, we played for a week at the Fringe Festival in Brisbane, Australia. My anxiety nearly fucked me on getting a passport, but I was able to get over that. What really fucked me was the NYC blackout of that year, which hit my area for an extended period of time.

One of the wonderful things about NYC is the laundromats have drop off service and will do your laundry for you. So I dropped off my laundry a few days before I was going to leave for Australia. Well, the fucking blackout took out the laundromat, with my clothes still inside. So I left for Australia with my guitar equipment and an empty suitcase. For some reason, I had insisted I wanted to fly JetBlue from NYC to LA, which meant I needed to take a cab to LAX. This turned into a blessing in disguise because the driver agreed to stop at Target while I ran around the store and bought whatever I thought might look ok.

The black shirt I bought to wear onstage was an activewear shirt. It was kinda stretchy, but I figured it would hang loose. And of course it didn’t and we’re about to get onstage and I look like a fucking Ring Ding shoved into a muscle shirt. Everyone in the entire cast laughed at me. Finally, the drummer was nice enough to change shirts with me and he wore it. Later on that trip, he gave me the worst purple nurple ever. So this is what’s going through my mind in fucking Costco, and why I didn’t deserve new shirts. But I bought them anyway as a fuck you to that memory.

And you know what? I took them out of the package and they smelled like chemicals. So I washed them and the neck gaiters and left them out to dry. Then I changed into one of the shirts to play pickleball with my kid yesterday afternoon. AND IT WAS PERFECTLY FINE. Yeah, I’m probably dumb for buying black shirts and I should have bought the white ones. But that’s toxic “oh black looks harder than white” for you/all band shirts are black/get ripped in a year and wear them onstage too.

To top it off, we went to the pool this afternoon and after I showered, I put on one of my regular t-shirts. And it kinda felt constricting. I can’t wear the black shirts everywhere because they’ll smell like BO in 30 seconds. But I’m going to wear them a lot, and not be embarrassed about them. It’s ok to be comfortable.

Whither, Music.

Unsurprisingly, Bernstein’s lectures have led me to bite off more than I can chew. I haven’t been walking on weekends, so I haven’t been listening to him. But I did find a bunch of books I’ve either read too many times or not read enough, and pulled them out. They are:

Aaron Copland - What to Listen for in Music

Howard Goodall - The Story of Music

Glenn Kurtz - Practicing

Philip Toshio Sudo - Zen Guitar

Pat Pattison - Writing Better Lyrics

I haven’t really read anything other than news for a long time. Or I buy books, read some, and never finish them. This is obviously detrimental to my mental health. So like with walking and with writing, I’m going with what interests me. I’m not trying to be busy all the time, but I definitely want to keep from punishing myself like I have done historically.

I started on Copland’s book last night. I read 25 pages, and that was only the Forward and Preface. So tonight I’m looking to get into at least the first chapter.

I’ve also been watching some other YouTube videos, particularly “Now Hear This” which is a PBS show about classical music, and another series I found about “how to listen to classical music” from a channel called Inside the Score. Last night I got my Ford Prefect on, and listened to Beethoven’s 5th. Today, I’m listening to Holst’s “The Planets”, which of course is the Leonard Bernstein version. I gotta say, these new headphones sound pretty good.

Lastly, I’m waiting on the book to Bernstein’s Harvard Lectures, which I will pick out every last piece he talks about, find it on Apple Music, and create a giant playlist. I hope the runners on the American River trail like classical music. They’re gonna hear a lot of it in passing.

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bugsrepellsgant · 5 years

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OKIE ive been kicking this au around my brain for months so here’s an outline or whatever

WORKING TITLE: toki and pickles travel cross country to california like kermit and fozzie in the muppet movie OR toki and pickles do america

TL;DR toki and pickles are both 17-ish, the year is 199X, theyre hauling ass to socal to audition for SnB, but instead they accidentally get dethklok together and fall in love :-)

pickles has freshly stepped out and couch surfed his way to greenbay, and just managed to scrape together enough cash for a bus ride to minneapolis (going east to go west is counterintuitive and dumb but so is american public transport) BUT THEN

toki’s one-ish year out of home, has scraped together enough money working for runke to apply for a passport but once he gets to the offices oh no!!! he doesn’t have any proof of citizenship! and he’s a minor! aw fuck now he’s gotta stow away on an oil tanker cus staying isnt an option (yes this is paddington now)

he lands in boston harbor, gets far enough inland on foot and by ferry until he reaches GREEN BAY, WI and he’s a day or two of panhandling away from meeting the ticket fee BUT THEN

its friday night which means its fucking college football night which means SHITTY COLLEGE BROS HAVE DESCENDED UPON THE CITY!

pickles gets briefly needled for being short and ginger but u know he Lives hes been getting this kind of shit forever. HOWEVER toki is immediately singled out as a funny lookin, high voiced, gnome hat weirdo with an accent and he’s trying to laugh along ??? ha ha?? but its so Bad and pickles feels Bad but he’s gotta get outta here-

Oh God one of the bros tried to to take toki’s guitar away and toki flipped shit and its a fight now!! he’s outnumbered but our boy pickles intervenes!!! they’re winning? OH GOD SOMEONE CALLED THE FUCKING COPS

escape! safe; breathless in an alley; “hey whats yooooour name???” “toki!” “heheheheh toke-ki >B-)” “?????” “im pickles” “you namesed pickle???? ‘,:-/“ bla bla bla oh u play guitar? i play drums but i like guitar too there’s a band in LA i wanna play for ya wanna come with???

a car is obtained at... some point

and OH BOY DOES HE!

a long series of shenanigans occur! our boys get stopped, turned around, detoured, misdirected, all kinds of classic farce bullshit, later on we make and pick up friends at pitstops! a fellow highschool dropout with a killer voice in kissimmee, the best guitarist youve heard in your life dodging swedish mandatory service in chicago, a dude with the stankiest bassline (and feet) that side of the mississippi in the texas panhandle, a TOTAL buzzkill geek of a harvard freshman on summering at his family villa near denver, a cool headed, smart as hell, fuckin julliard composer in training who produces music FOR FUN visiting her family in downtown phoenix.

oh my GOD what is seth fucking DOING HERE is that lady his GIRLFRIEND is she PREGNANT what the HELL GO HOME IF YOU TELL MOM WHERE WE ARE ILL KILL YOU DEAD

seth’s also hanging out with this other guy who seems...... cool? you think? fun, talented, good at guitar like both our boys, pickles’ kinda guy to be honest? there’s something about him thats hard to trust though.

sharing hotel rooms, sleeping in truck beds, they get curious about each others lives? pickles clocked toki as a weird hick at first blush, and tbh he was right but? he went to highschool with farm kids and knows farm kid-weird from weird-weird and toki’s WEIRD-weird. and sweet. and funny. the polaroid in toki keeps of a man and a woman, the man in a reverend’s hat, makes pickles scared to ask. especially since toki’s been cool enough to mind his own business.

toki’s fascinated by pickles’ bouts of righteous anger. unlike runke, his rage has energy and intent, and the stunt he pulled in green bay was so nice and so COOL! he’s one such real cool guy with a cool leather jacket and cool hair... but Why is he so mad all the time? why does he drink so much, it doesnt even taste good? why does he STEAL drinks when they have no money? what happened to toki’s nice, cool, brand new friend pickle? something like what happened to toki? but? pickles is so Cool and Nice and NORMAL and toki is so Weird and Stupid and Wrong in ways toki’s horrified to let him discover. its better not to ask him, he guesses.

feelings get stronger as all the bad things come to light. crying hugs are had. pickles drops what was going to be bus money on a replacement V for toki and toki drops his panhandling dough on a goldtop for pickles.

WE FINALLY GET TO LA AND......? what the fuck

the glam/hair scene is dead in the water. Snakes n Barrels supernova’ed. no more audition. no more career. shit shit shit.

but all the friends weve made along the way are here for our boys! they’ll just start their OWN BAND!!!! TAMPA! MORDHAUS! DETHKLOK’S A-GO!! everythings comin up milhouse!

our boys are Officially *an item* and they ride into the sunset together, stirrup to stirrup, side by side. big gay kiss. the end :-)

OTHER THINGS THAT HAPPEN:

amber goes into labor during one of seth’s drop in visits and everyone gets emo about family as a concept, pickles and seth gave a heart to heart, no one is too metal for feelings when the baby comes bc life is beautiful

magnus pulls some scary/mean bs but its nothing too awful and theres forgiveness and lessons learnt and stuff.

the duel! but theres THREE GUITARISTS?????!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE FOUR?

toki and pickles will both have religious drama but pickles’ drama is more of a sidenote in his list of Issues (pickles’ family is probably catholic and i was raised catholic and i GOTTA project. i GOTTA)

lgbt themes because IM GAY and THEYRE GAY PRRRRBBBBT

murderface? finds love?? GAY LOVE???

this post is too long g-g-g’byeeeee!

#tickles #toki wartooth #pickles the drummer #LOOOOOONG POST OH MY GOD #4 AM????? HELLO?????

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sunkissedjiaer · 6 years

Text

Hostage / Jinyoung x Reader

Request: Could you write a Jinyoung x reader that has Jinyoung held captive and the reader is a police officer trying to save him?

a/n: this was very fun to write and I apologize for the wait! Thank you for the request.

Pairings: Jinyoung x Reader

Warnings: minor violence, fluff, and angst(?)

Word Count: 2k

You rushed into your Head Quarters, beads of sweat gathering at your brow. You couldn’t believe the call you had gotten, especially since you were tied to the current victim.

“Boss” you shouted as you walked into the office.

Your boss stood from her chair, her eyes filled with concern and her brows creased with thought. Walking over to you she grabbed you and pulled you into a tight hug. Usually such affection was not allowed in the work scene but your boss was not only your superior but your friend.

“Is it true?” you muttered, your hands shaking.

“Yes” she spoke softly “he is currently being held hostage”

Closing your eyes you took a long deep breath. You had warned Jinyoung that something like this would happen but his acting career was just reaching its peak and him missing the Met Gala would be suicide, even if it meant facing past threats that he had been sent.

“So what’s the move?” you asked

“Well, we have the area where he is surrounded but his holder has yet to respond to our questions. We’ve sent in a negotiator and they’ve talked over the walkies but he just keeps saying that Jinyoung doesn’t deserve anything he has, which is only making things harder”

“This has to be the same guy” you mumbled to yourself

“Excuse me?” your boss piped up “same guy?”

“Yeah, for the past month Jinyoung has been getting anonymous threats and of course he kept me from actually letting anyone know, he kept saying they were empty words.”

“y/n..” your boss muttered “you should’ve said something anyway.”

You nodded, your stomach sinking with regret. Your mind began to race and you felt yourself getting dizzy, slowly you moved for the empty chair seated next to your boss’ desk. Grabbing the arm rests you lowered your self to the cushion and let your head dangle for a moment before sitting up straight.

“What if something happens to him because of me?” you stuttered

Moving slowly towards you, your boss knelt down and eyed you softly.

“Nothing and I mean nothing will happen to Jinyoung, we’ve got the whole team on this case.. I promise he will make it out alive.”

“Yes, alive.. Not completely unharmed.”

The next day.

You grabbed the coffee from the desk and sipped at the hot liquid slowly, each sip waking you up from the inside out.

“Zoom in a little on the left corner” you muttered.

Youngjae zoomed in on the place you told him to. Youngjae was the best hacker in the agency, his silent yet noticing eyes made it easy for him to analyze a situation which in return gave him the ability to sit silently and hack things for hours on end, you never understood how he did it but it was amazing to watch.

“That’s him” Youngjae commented, his cursor roaming around the screen making the pixelated image more see-able.

“That’s the suspect?”

“Yeah, we’ve run his face through the system but he doesn’t have any records on hand which means he’s either been clean his entire life or his identity is not real.”

“Most likely a fake identity then” you stated “if he was clean then why would he lash out now? And Jinyoung of all people..”

Your eyes lit up quickly, you looked at Youngjae for a second before dashing out of the room.

“Bye I guess” chuckled Youngjae.

Rushing into an office you threw the door open “hear me out” you stated as you plopped down in front of the desk.

The boy looked up at you, his eyebrows creased with confusion but interest.

“Uh yes?” muttered Jackson

“I think I know who might have captured Jinyoung, who might have been so obsessed to follow through with this plan all these years later.”

Jackson leaned in his interest peaked “okay, are you gonna spill or you just gonna keep me hanging?”

“Chul-soo.”

“Chul-soo?” Jackson repeated

“Chul was a good friend of Jinyoung’s in high school but when Jinyoung got signed for a contract under his current agency for acting Chul was left in the dust but it wasn’t on purpose.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean- Jinyoung didn’t have time for Chul anymore, Chul became aggravated. Jinyoung told me once of what happened his last year in High School.” you paused, collecting the things Jinyoung told you. “Chul had sabotaged the graduation but it wasn’t everyone’s graduation just Jinyoung’s”

“Hm, okay, continue”

“Chul had ripped and splattered paint on Jinyoung’s cap and gown hours before graduation. Jinyoung had confronted Chul and asked him why-”

FLASHBACK

“Chul.. why?” Jinyoung asked, throwing the cap and gown onto the floor.

“Because Jinyoung, you got everything I ever wanted and instead of sharing it with me you left..”

“So you thought ruining my things would change that?”

“No” Chul commented “but it would damn well send a message of hatred.”

“I’m still not following your point” Jinyoung said dryly.

“You got the acting career, you got the fame, you got the life, the dreams! Everything that I ever shared with you, you ended up getting”

Jinyoung shrugged apologetically “I’m sorry?- is that what you want to hear Chul? I can’t say I’m sorry to you because I’m not.. The difference between you and me is that I went for those dreams I had and you just watched it happen.”

Chul’s once calmed hands formed into a fist, his knuckles whitening.

“I know that I had forgotten about you at one point, I even forgot about myself most of the time. I didn’t mean to leave you behind.. Things became hectic my career was just taking off..” Jinyoung commented, his eyes staring at Chul with concern.

Chul shook his head and his face grew red from anger

“You don’t even care right now! You probably don’t even care that I ruined your gown you don’t even care about how I feel or that fact that you robbed me of my future!” “Chul seriously, please knock this off- we aren’t children anymore..”

“Park Jinyoung mark my words, you will regret this.”

Without another word Chul turn and ran out of sight. Leaving Jinyoung with his ruined cap and gown, questions still swirling in his head.

BACK TO PRESENT.

“So you’re telling me this guy Chul-soo has had a grudge against Jinyoung since high school?- and it’s all because Jinyoung made something out of himself?”

You nodded.

“Gotta give the guy credit for determination” Jackson chuckled

“Not the time” you stated harshly

“No no you’re right, not the time.”

You and Jackson spent the entire night searching up Chul-Soo to get dirt or in general, anything. What you found frustrated you but it also gave you a lead. Chul-Soo officially went “missing” a year and a half ago which was when Jinyoung had gotten his big break, things were lining up but of course you needed more proof to back them up.

You and Jackson walked frightfully fast down the halls, the people’s eyes followed you. Opening the glass door to your boss’ office you threw a file down on her desk, yours and Jackson’s lips curling into well deserved smirks.

Your boss looked up from her laptop, her eyebrows raised with a questioning look.

“Chul-Soo was his name but he now legally or technically illegally goes by an alias known as Darren Kong”

Jackson opened and sat down another file, copies of passports and current bill information along with money trails were in the file, a current picture of Chuls license sat on top of all the papers.

“We got him”

“I’d like to know how you two are so dead-set on this guy” your boss commented “how is he the one?”

“The letters Jinyoung received I kept, we traced them for fingerprints, in doing so we were led to Darren Kong, he had to give his fingerprints over to get a new ID.” you stated proudly

“He may be determined but he’s not very smart” Jackson added.

Your boss immediately stood up “did you find a current address?”

You and Jackson nodded in unison

“Get a team on it now. The quicker you search his place the quicker we can move in on Jinyoung.”

You and Jackson snuck up to the old barn, you could see lights were on but you couldn’t see if there was anyone actually there. You rushed towards the front door, waving your hand Jackson and a couple guys rushed over behind you.

“On my move boys” you whispered.

Opening the door you moved in gun aimed, you checked every corner and every room, no sign of Chul.

“It’s empty” Jackson shouted.

You eyed a wall, there was a curtain tacked up, such an odd place for a curtain. Walking over you ripped the curtain off and your eyes grew wildly when you saw the once hidden contents.

“Holy shit” Jackson muttered

Your eyes scanned the many images and map points on the wall.

“He’s been tracking Jinyoung, look here-” you pointed to a tacked up receipt. Jackson grabbed the receipt and brought it closer to his eyes, he scanned the small lettering and sighed.

“This is a receipt for a gun, how in the hell did he manage to get a gun over here? It’s not only illegal to do so but customs should’ve found this through shipping.”

“That means he has connections or he bought it off the market, why would he keep a receipt though?”

“Guys gotta manage his money somehow” Jackson stated.

After leaving the barn with more than enough information to keep Chul locked up for years you and Jackson made a quick stop at HQ.

“We need to make a move tonight” You stated rather rushed “Chul had a receipt for a gun and I have a deep rooted feeling he plans to use it”

Your boss eyed you and Jackson, walking up to you she placed her hands on your shoulders a look of concern covered her face.

“Be careful, I want Jackson on snipe, Youngjae as your eyes and ears, and you’ll be taking Jaebeom as back up.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Youngjae led you and Jaebeom to a backdoor through your ear pieces, his voice soft.

“If you take this way it’ll be easier for me to track you guys, it’s also quicker to where Jinyoung is being held.”

You led Jaebeom down the halls, the lights on your guns kept the dark musty halls lit. You could hear the sound of yelling coming from down a nearby hall, pressing your earpiece you spoke softly

“Is that where Jinyoung is?”

“Yes, be careful.”

You quickened your pace and Jaebeom copied. You reached the old rotten wooden door, peeking through the cracks you could see a beat up Jinyoung tied in a chair, his facial features carved with frustration.

“No one is coming!” Chul spat at Jinyoung

“They will be here”

“Who Jinyoung?- WHO!”

“My girlfriend will come and I will get out of here perfectly okay, you on the other hand I’m not so sure.”

Taking the butt of his gun Chul smashed it hard against Jinyoung’s jaw, causing him to hiss and hang his head.

You felt yourself gasp but you quickly breathed in covering it.

“Now” Youngjae spoke from your ear.

Kicking the door open you had your gun raised and aimed at Chul, Jaebeom followed in suit.

“Put down the gun Chul-Soo” you ordered.

“And if I don’t? You gonna kill me?”

“I promise I won’t miss.” you hissed.

Mockingly Chul pointed the gun at Jinyoung’s temple, a snicker escaping his lips.

“I said put the damn gun down!” You barked.

Removing the gun from Jinyoung’s temple he pointed it at you, aiming at your heart.

“Killing Jinyoung would be too easy, everyone would mourn his death, pity his early ended career. If I really want Jinyoung to suffer, I should hit him where it hurts.”

You eyed Jinyoung from the corner of your vision, his eyes wide and fearful.

“Chul-Soo put the gun down now or you’ll regret it” Jaebeom commented.

Chuls finger on the trigger bent ever so slightly the sound of a gunshot fired, the small room echoed with the loud sudden boom.

Falling to the ground in unison you and Chul smacked against the concrete.

“Y/N!!!” Jinyoung screamed the ropes holding him back.

Jaebeom ran to your side, but he noticed no blood coming from the wound. Opening your eyes you grinned “bullet proof vests, they come in handy”

Grabbing you Jaebeom helped you up, relief immediately flooded over Jinyoung. Hesitantly Jaebeom checked the pulse of Chul-Soo, shaking his head Jaebeom looked to you “he’s out cold”

You nodded and rushed over to Jinyoung, untying him as quickly as your fumbling fingers could manage. Once loose he wrapped his trembling arms around you, his breath shaking and his heart speeding.

“I thought I lost you!” he cried softly

“Never baby never” you whimpered into his shoulder.

Jinyoung quickly pulled you into a passionate kiss one you never thought you’d have wanted so badly, but this situation needed one.

You and Jaebeom helped Jinyoung out to the car and bandaged him up, Jackson approached, his gun in a bag slung on his shoulder.

“You good?” he questioned

“All thanks to you” you smiled

Turning to Jinyoung you smiled warmly, the love of your life was okay, everything was okay.

#got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 fanfic #got7 imagines #lim jaebeom #Im Jaebum #mark tuan #jackson wang #park jinyoung #park jinyoung x reader #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop thriller #police au #kpop cop au

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gomustanggirl16 · 5 years

Text

Disappointments

So, I know I should spout something about how life is an adventure and everything will turn out, but I really, really don’t feel like it. Because I can’t guarantee that. No one can, and if you say “that’s not true.” than clearly you’ve never heard the stories I have or known some people. Trust me, there are some, who’s life adventures don’t turn out and they end up going completely insane. And for those who think “no, it’s good. It’s a bitch but it’s good.” than chances are you’re doing it wrong, because it cannot be both a bitch and good. You can have good things around you, light times sure, but if it’s not enough to overshadow the bitch of it all then it’s not good enough. I also know people who go through life thinking everything around them is a sign from God and have been bitch slapped more times than I can count, but use God as an excuse to make it better. I believe in him, I do, but I also know he gave us our own free will and to attempt to throw things at us would kind of ruin his whole purpose. At least to me. I also don’t blame Satan either, because he knows we have our own ways of messing everything up ourselves, because we are people. Eve didn’t have to do what Satan said, she didn’t have to do what God said either (would life have been better yeah probably), but we’d also be kind of brainwashed so...it’s a toss up.

I guess what I’m trying to get at, is that blaming something or trying to make it something it’s not is really fucking pointless. For those who don’t believe in God or religion, you probably already have a semi-idea of what I mean. Or maybe you don’t I don’t know. What I do know is this: disappointments are everywhere. They come with life, they are the only thing that are actually guaranteed. A lot of times they are also called consequences, but no matter what it’s all bad. People will always let you down, not everyone, but everyone has someone they let down at some point in there life and maybe it was only temporary, but for many it wasn’t. But you know, we hear a lot about people disappointing us, but lets face it, it’s really ourselves we disappoint the most. Hence why it’s a guarantee in life. I wish it were different but it’s not. We dream, we set goals, and we disappoint.

All I wanted was to get my medical coding certification. I changed majors three times. Well two technically, but medical coding was the only constant throughout it all and halfway through last semester I said to myself “what the fuck are you doing? You hate people, so why are you going into a major that requires you to tolerate them?” Basically I put my head back on straight, but then the emails from my schools financial aid kept coming, asking for verification. My mother told me, that they have a right to randomly select people for this and I said okay because she told me she had it handled. That was back in August after they okay-ed my payment plan. Then they didn’t pay. Anything. None of it like they said they would because they needed verification, despite the fact we kept sending them the same documents over and over and over again. The semester ended and suddenly I had racked up $4000 US dollars in dues.

They eventually asked for different documents and we had hoped it was moving forward and I went to register for the last two courses I needed to get my certification and they wouldn’t let me because of what I owe. My brother was having the same stupid problem, except his got it fixed with one verification email and boom he registered (I go to a community college, he goes to University that costs almost $43,000 a year so you think there process would be more difficult but different financial aid companies). Then Christmas and New Years passed and I got fed up about two weeks ago when I saw that one of the classes only had three seats left. One time slot too, while the other class had two time slots and twenty seats between the two left. But these two classes are only offered in the spring, if I missed them, I would have to wait a whole year. I’d have to buy new books again, and I spent almost $1300 on them last semester because for some reason they put up the books we’d need for the next three classes so I got them a semester early, I wasn’t pissed then because they were so damn hard to get I wouldn’t have to worry, well now...now I have books I don’t need because as of last night the last three seats went. I called the school Friday because earlier in the week I got an email asking for one more thing then one saying they didn’t need more and then Friday morning I woke up to a fucking email saying I was selected again for verification! Well the school office was closed but the actual financial aid company wasn’t and the lady informed me they got my papers and that she had no idea why the school sent me the email, but they didn’t need anything more and to just wait. Also no, they wouldn’t let me pay any of the money I owed myself, but granted I also wouldn’t be in this mess if I had four grand.

So I waited, and then last night I got this nagging feeling to check the list and I did, and the seats were gone. Two classes. That’s all I needed and now...now I don’t know what to do. I know they won’t reimburse me for the books, I called my father to ask him to go yell at some people with me, because he’s fucking scary when he yells and I cry when I do. I have now wasted upwards of six thousand dollars on this and have nothing to show for it. I don’t have any money to transfer and classes have already begun in most other schools. I loved the teachers, it was a great environment but now I gotta call this sweet little old lady in my class and tell her goodbye because I won’t be seeing her ever again because she can get her certification at 85 fucking years old, but because I depend on people I can’t. It’s not like the school gave out the test anyways I’d have to go elsewhere for it, but still I needed those classes I can’t take the exam because I haven’t started the last two books. I already took a year off because of health and I thought this was my chance, I spent everything I saved up for a trip to Paris, on school and now all I can think is “you should have gone to Paris, it wouldn’t have put you through so much stress.” And now my passports about to expire to so, missed that chance. And yes, I’m aware you can renew it, but I don’t have a fucking job right now, or $150 to be spending on getting it renewed. As is I needed a new battery for my car Monday (God Monday fucking sucked!) and had to borrow $800 from my grandmother because they found a shit ton of broken things.

So...I can blame financial aid, I want to, but one of the non medical reasons I didn’t go back was because they were giving me an issue about some document they needed to renew it back then. I should have known better, I really should have. I could also blame my parents who got divorced in August and half the shit the financial aid people needed was to verify they were indeed living separate lives, and while the lady assured me it was a random process, lets face it, it wasn’t. But I’m not going to blame them either, because life with those two married was a shit fest I never want to go through again. I’m glad it ended, though now I gotta buy my mom a divorce cake because I fucking promised her a divorce cake and still haven’t gotten her one so now not only does she hold John Bon Jovi over my head she now also holds this to.

But really, I blame me. I went to college right out of high school because I wasn’t going to be that kid they warned us about. You know the bum who doesn’t go, and does drugs and gets pregnant without a husband. You know, a baptists worst nightmare. I thought I needed a major because certifications weren’t enough. I put myself through hell because I thought a stupid certification would look meaningless to an employer without a degree and you wanna know something? They’re both stupid pieces of paper we all end up shoving in a box unless we’re CEO’s or physicists who think they’re god. You don’t bring the damn thing to an interview they don’t ask to see it. They call the school and ask for someones word. Its the truth, is it not?

Instead of listening to my heart, I listened to everyone else around me, and not the ones I should have. I also should have listened to my mother when she told me to go to the school she went to and god I really wish I had. So now, I can’t get my certification and I can’t go to Paris and I can’t get a real job because the assholes who look expect coding to be a degree and also that I have the certification. It’s one thing to say I’m working towards it’s another to say, “well I was and now I can’t until I fix some things.” So I’m stuck at the shit hole I work at now.

And it’s all because I didn’t want to be a disappointment.

You know, being a disappointment to others is one thing. People have different standards that just aren’t you, and then the people you wish death on because they abuse their kids. But there’s nothing worse than disappointing yourself. You are who you are, you know who you are, whether you know it yet or not, so you’d think we’d know to listen to the right people, listen to ourselves, but somehow we keep thinking others opinions matter more. It’s sad really, but it’s the truth. We run away and do what we can only to turn ourselves into the thing we fear most.

So I ask you, are you really doing what you’re doing because it’s what you want, it’s what you know is best for you, it’s the right thing for your health, your mind, life? Or are you doing it because the fear of being a disappointment is controlling your life?

This was the only thing I wanted, but because I felt like I had something to prove I ended up loosing everything. Sure, it’s not gone forever, but it sure would have been nice to have a desk, and have my mini-Cap Pop key chain in my space, a steady flow of work and cash and health insurance not connected to my mother. And my book! My ICD-10-CM code book oh! It’s so pretty! I have it all tabbed accordingly and noted and if this takes me longer than six months to fix I’ll have to buy the updated version with having barely used the one I had and it’ll have all been a waste. On the upside according to one interviewer I have enough qualifications to answer phones and explain the billing process to patients.

#mg rambles #learn from my mistakes please #I beg you listen to me

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itbeatsbookmarks · 4 years

Link

(Via: Hacker News)

Act 1: Sunday afternoon

So you know when you’re flopping about at home, minding your own business, drinking from your water bottle in a way that does not possess any intent to subvert the Commonwealth of Australia?

It’s a feeling I know all too well, and in which I was vigorously partaking when I got this message in “the group chat”.

A nice message from my friend, with a photo of a boarding pass 🙂 A good thing about messages from your friends is that they do not have any rippling consequences 🙂🙂🙂

The man in question is Tony Abbott, one of Australia’s many former Prime Ministers.

That’s him, officer

For security reasons, we try to change our Prime Minister every six months, and to never use the same Prime Minister on multiple websites.

The boarding pass photo

This particular former PM had just posted a picture of his boarding pass on Instagram (Instagram, in case you don’t know it, is an app you can open up on your phone any time to look at ads).

The since-deleted Instagram post showing the boarding pass and baggage receipt. The caption reads “coming back home from japan 😍😍 looking forward to seeing everyone! climate change isn’t real 😌 ok byeee”

“Can you hack this man?”

My friend (who we will refer to by their group chat name, 𝖍𝖔𝖌𝖌𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖆𝖉𝖊) is asking whether I can “hack this man” not because I am the kind of person who regularly commits 𝒄𝒚𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏 on a whim, but because we’d recently been talking about boarding passes.

I’d said that people post pictures of their boarding passes all the time, not knowing that it can sometimes be used to get their passport number and stuff. They just post it being like “omg going on holidayyyy 😍😍😍”, unaware that they’re posting cringe.

People post their boarding passes all the time, because it’s not clear that they’re meant to be secret

Meanwhile, some hacker is rubbing their hands together, being all “yumyum identity fraud 👀” in their dark web Discord, because this happens a lot.

So there I was, making intense and meaningful eye contact with this chat bubble, asking me if I could “hack this man”.

Surely you wouldn’t

Of course, my friend wasn’t actually asking me to hack the former Prime Minister.

However.

You gotta.

I mean… what are you gonna do, not click it? Are you gonna let a link that’s like 50% advertising tracking ID tell you what to do? Wouldn’t you be curious?

The former Prime Minister had just posted his boarding pass. Was that bad? Was someone in danger? I didn’t know.

What I did know was: the least I could do for my country would be to have a casual browse 👀

Investigating the boarding pass photo

Step 1: Hubris

So I had a bit of a casual browse, and got the picture of the boarding pass, and then…. I didn’t know what was supposed to happen after that.

Well, I’d heard that it’s bad to post your boarding pass online, because if you do, a bored 17 year-old Russian boy called “Katie-senpai” might somehow use it to commit identity fraud. But I don’t know anyone like that, so I just clumsily googled some stuff.

Googling how 2 hakc boarding pass

Eventually I found a blog post explaining that yes, pictures of boarding passes can indeed be used for Crimes. The part you wanna be looking at for all your criming needs is the barcode, because it’s got the “Booking Reference” (e.g. H8JA2A) in it.

Why do you want the booking reference? It’s one of the two things you need to log in to the airline website to manage your flight.

The second one is your… last name. I was really hoping the second one would be like a password or something. But, no, it’s the booking reference the airline emails you and prints on your boarding pass. And it also lets you log in to the airline website?

That sounds suspiciously like a password to me, but like I’m still fine to pretend it’s not if you are.

Step 2: Scan the barcode

I’ve been practicing every morning at sunrise, but still can’t scan barcodes with my eyes. I had to settle for a barcode scanner app on my phone, but when I tried to scan the picture in the Instagram post, it didn’t work :((

Maybe I shouldn’t have blurred out the barcode first

Step 2: Scan the barcode, but more

Well, maybe it wasn’t scanning because the picture was too blurry.

I spent around 15 minutes in an “enhance, ENHANCE” montage, fiddling around with the image, increasing the contrast, and so on. Despite the montage taking up way too much of the 22 minute episode, I couldn’t even get the barcode to scan.

Step 2: Notice that the Booking Reference is printed right there on the paper

After staring at this image for 15 minutes, I noticed the Booking Reference is just… printed on the baggage receipt.

I graduated university.

But it did not prepare me for this.

askdjhaflajkshdflkh

Step 3: Visit the airline’s website

After recovering from that emotional rollercoaster, I went to qantas.com.au, and clicked “Manage Booking”. In case you don’t know it because you live in a country with fast internet, Qantas is the main airline here in Australia.

(I also very conveniently started recording my screen, which is gonna pay off big time in just a moment.)

Step 4: Type in the Booking Reference

Well, the login form was just… there, and it was asking for a Booking Reference and a last name. I had just flawlessly read the Booking Reference from the boarding pass picture, and, well… I knew the last name.

I did hesitate for a split-second, but… no, I had to know.

Step 5: Crimes(?)

youngman.mp4

The “Manage Booking” page, logged in as some guy called Anthony Abbott

Can I get a YIKES in the chat

Leave a comment if you really felt that.

I guess I was now logged the heck in as Tony Abbott? And for all I know, everyone else who saw his Instagram post was right there with me. It’s kinda wholesome, to imagine us all there together. But also probably suboptimal in a governmental sense.

Was there anything secret in here?

I then just incredibly browsed the page, browsed it so hard.

I saw Tony Abbott’s name, flight times, and Frequent Flyer number, but not really anything super secret-looking. Not gonna be committing any cyber treason with a Frequent Flyer number. The flight was in the past, so I couldn’t change anything, either.

The page said the flight had been booked by a travel agent, so I guessed some information would be missing because of that.

I clicked around and scrolled a considerable length, but still didn’t find any government secrets.

Some people might give up here. But I, the Icarus of computers, was simply too dumb to know when to stop.

We’re not done just because a web page says we’re done

I wanted to see if there were juicy things hidden inside the page. To do it, I had to use the only hacker tool I know.

Right click > Inspect Element, all you need to subvert the Commonwealth of Australia

Listen. This is the only part of the story that might be confused for highly elite computer skill. It’s not, though. Maybe later someone will show you this same thing to try and flex, acting like only they know how to do it. You will not go gently into that good night. You will refuse to acknowledge their flex, killing them instantly.

How does “Inspect Element” work?

“Inspect Element”, as it’s called, is a feature of Google Chrome that lets you see the computer’s internal representation (HTML) of the page you’re looking at. Kinda like opening up a clock and looking at the cool cog party inside.

Yeahhh go little cogs, look at ‘em absolutely going off. Now imagine this but with like, JavaScript

Everything you see when you use “Inspect Element” was already downloaded to your computer, you just hadn’t asked Chrome to show it to you yet. Just like how the cogs were already in the watch, you just hadn’t opened it up to look.

But let us dispense with frivolous cog talk. Cheap tricks such as “Inspect Element” are used by programmers to try and understand how the website works. This is ultimately futile: Nobody can understand how websites work. Unfortunately, it kinda looks like hacking the first time you see it.

If you’d like to know more about it, I’ve prepared a short video.

Browsing the “Manage Booking” page’s HTML

I scrolled around the page’s HTML, not really knowing what it meant, furiously trying to find anything that looked out of place or secret.

I eventually realised that manually reading HTML with my eyes was not an efficient way of defending my country, and Ctrl + F’d the HTML for “passport”.

oh no

Oh yes

It’s just there.

At this point I was fairly sure I was looking at the extremely secret government-issued ID of the 28th Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia, servant to her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and I was kinda worried that I was somehow doing something wrong, but like, not enough to stop.

….anything else in this page?

Well damn, if Tony Abbott’s passport number is in this treasure trove of computer spaghetti, maybe there’s wayyyyy more. Perhaps this HTML contains the lost launch codes to the Sydney Opera House, or Harold Holt.

Maybe there’s a phone number?

Searching for phone and number didn’t get anywhere, so I searched for 614, the first 3 digits of an Australian phone number, using my colossal and highly celestial galaxy brain.

Weird uppercase letters

A weird pile of what I could only describe as extremely uppercase letters came up. It looked like this:

RQST QF HK1 HNDSYD/03EN|FQTV QF HK1|CTCM QF HK1 614[phone number]|CKIN QF HN1 DO NOT SEAT ROW [row number] PLS SEAT LAST ROW OF [row letter] WINDOW

So, there’s a lot going on here. There is indeed a phone number in here. But what the heck is all this other stuff?

I realised this was like… Qantas staff talking to eachother about Tony Abbott, but not to him?

In what is surely the subtweeting of the century, it has a section saying HITOMI CALLED RQSTING FASTTRACK FOR MR. ABBOTT. Hitomi must be requesting a “fasttrack” (I thought that was only a thing in movies???) from another Qantas employee.

This is messed up for many reasons

What is even going on here? Why do Qantas flight staff talk to eachother via this passenger information field? Why do they send these messages, and your passport number to you when you log in to their website? I’ll never know because I suddenly got distracted with

Forbidden airline code

I realised the allcaps museli I saw must be some airline code for something. Furious and intense googling led me to several ancient forbidden PDFs that explained some of the codes.

Apparently, they’re called “SSR codes” (Special Service Request). There are codes for things like “Vegetarian lacto-ovo meal” (VLML), “Vegetarian oriental meal” (VOML), and even “Vegetarian vegan meal” (VGML). Because I was curious about these codes, here’s some for you to be curious about too (tag urself, I’m UMNR):

RFTV Reason for Travel UMNR Unaccompanied minor PDCO Carbon Offset (chargeable) WEAP Weapon DEPA Deportee—accompanied by an escort ESAN Passenger with Emotional Support Animal in Cabin

The phone number I found looked like this: CTCM QF HK1 [phone number]. Googling “SSR CTCM” led me to the developer guide for some kind of airline association, which I assume I am basically a member of now.

CTCM QF HK1 translates as “Contact phone number of passenger 1”

Is the phone number actually his?

I thought maybe the phone number belonged to the travel agency, but I checked and it has to be the passenger’s real phone number. That would be, if my calculations are correct,,,, *steeples fingers* Tony Abbott’s phone number.

what have i done

I’d now found Tony Abbott’s:

Passport details

Phone number

Weird Qantas staff comments.

My friend who messaged me had no idea.

Tony Abbott’s passport is probably a Diplomatic passport, which is used to “represent the Australian Government overseas in an official capacity”.

what have i done

By this point I’d had enough defending my country, and had recently noticed some new thoughts in my brain, which were:

oh jeez oh boy oh jeez

i gotta get someone, somehow, to reset tony abbott’s passport number

can you even reset passport numbers

is it possible that i’ve done a crime

Intermission

Act 2: Do not get arrested challenge 2020

In this act, I, your well-meaning but ultimately incompetent protagonist, attempt to do the following things:

⬜ figure out whether i have done a crime

⬜ notify someone (tony abbott?) that this happened

⬜ get permission to publish this here blog post

⬜ tell qantas about the security issue so they can fix it

Spoilers: This takes almost six months.

Let’s skip the boring bits

I contacted a lot of people about this. If my calculations are correct, I called at least 30 phone numbers, to say nothing of The Emails. If you laid all the people I contacted end to end along the equator, they would die, and you would be arrested. Eventually I started keeping track of who I talked to in a note I now refer to as “the hashtag struggle”.

I’m gonna skip a considerable volume of tedious and ultimately unsatisfying telephony, because it’s been a long day of scrolling already, and you need to save your strength.

Alright strap yourself in and enjoy as I am drop-kicked through the goal posts of life.

Part 1: is it possible that i’ve done a crime

I didn’t think anything I did sounded like a crime, but I knew that sometimes when the other person is rich or famous, things can suddenly become crimes. Like, was there going to be some Monarch Law or something? Was Queen Elizabeth II gonna be mad about this?

My usual defence against being arrested for hacking is making sure the person being hacked is okay with it. You heard me, it’s the power of ✨consent✨. But this time I could uh only get it in retrospect, which is a bit yikes.

So I was wondering like… was logging in with someone else’s booking reference a crime? Was having someone else’s passport number a crime? What if they were, say, the former Prime Minister? Would I get in trouble for publishing a blog post about it? I mean you’re reading the blog post right now so obviousl

Update: I have been arrested.

Just straight up Reading The Law

It turned out I could just google these things, and before I knew it I was reading “the legislation”. It’s the rules of the law, just written down.

Look, reading pages of HTML? No worries. Especially if it’s to defend my country. But whoever wrote the legislation was just making up words.

Eventually, I was able to divine the following wisdoms from the Times New Roman tea leaves:

Defamation is where you get in trouble for publishing something that makes someone look bad.

But, it’s fine for me to blog about it, since it’s not defamation if you can prove it’s true

Having Tony Abbott’s passport number isn’t a crime

But using it to commit identity fraud would be

There are laws about what it’s okay to do on a computer

The things it’s okay to do are: If u EVER even LOOK at a computer the wrong way, the FBI will instantly slam dunk you in a legal fashion dependent on the legislation in your area

I am possibly the furthest thing you can be from a lawyer. So, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you not to take this as legal advice. But, if you are the kind of person who takes legal advice from mango blog posts, who am I to stand in your way? Not a lawyer, that’s who. Don’t do it.

You know what, maybe I needed help. From an adult. Someone whose 3-year old kid has been buying iPad apps for months because their parents can’t figure out how to turn it off.

“Yeah, maybe I should get some of that free government legal advice”, I thought to myself, legally. That seemed like a pretty common thing, so I thought it should be easy to do. I took a big sip of water and googled “free legal advice”.

trying to ask a lawyer if i gone and done a crime

Before I went and told everyone about my HTML frolicking, I spent a week calling legal aid numbers, lawyers, and otherwise trying to figure out if I’d done a crime.

During this time, I didn’t tell anyone what I’d done. I asked if any laws would be broken if “someone” had “logged into a website with someone’s publicly-posted password and found the personal information of a former politician”. Do you see how that’s not even a lie? I’m starting to see how lawyers do it.

Calling Legal Aid places

First I call the state government’s Legal Aid number. They tell me they don’t do that here, and I should call another Legal Aid place named something slightly different.

The second place tells me they don’t do that either, and I should call the First Place and “hopefully you get someone more senior”.

I call the First Place again, and they say “oh you’ve been given the run around!”. You see where this is going.

Let’s skip a lot of phone calls. Take my hand as I whisk you towards the slightly-more-recent past. Based on advice I got from two independent lawyers that was definitely not legal advice: I haven’t done a crime.

Helllllll yeah. But I mean it’s a little late because I forgot to mention that by this point I had already emailed explicit details of my activities to the Australian Government.

☑️ figure out whether i have done a crime

⬜ notify someone (tony abbott?) that this happened

⬜ get permission to publish this here blog post

⬜ tell qantas about the security issue so they can fix it

Part 2: trying to report the problem to someone, anyone, please

I had Tony Abbott’s passport number, phone number, and weird Qantas messages about him. I was the only one who knew I had these.

Anyone who saw that Instagram post could also have them. I felt like I had to like, tell someone about this. Someone with like, responsibilities. Someone with an email signature.

wait but do u see the irony in this, u have his phone number right there so u could just-

Yes I see it thank u for pointing this out, wise, astute, and ultimately self-imposed heading. I knew I could just call the number any time and hear a “G’day” I’d never be able to forget. I knew I had a rare opportunity to call someone and have them ask “how did you get this number!?”.

But you can’t just do that.

You can’t just call someone’s phone number that you got by rummaging around in the HTML ball pit. Tony Abbott didn’t want me to have his phone number, because he didn’t give it to me. Maybe if it was urgent, or I had no other option, sure. But I was pretty sure I should do this the Nice way, and show that I come in peace.

I wanted to show that I come in peace because there’s also this pretty yikes thing that happens where you email someone being all like “henlo ur website let me log in with username admin and password admin, maybe u wanna change that??? could just be me but let me kno what u think xoxo alex” and then they reply being like “oh so you’re a HACKER and a CRIMINAL and you’ve HACKED ME AND MY FAMILY TOO and this is a RANSOM and ur from the DARK WEB i know what that is i’ve seen several episodes of mr robot WELL watch out kiddO bc me and my lawyers are bulk-installing tens of thousands of copies of McAfee® Gamer Security as we speak, so i’d like 2 see u try”

I googled “tony abbott contact”, but there’s only his official website. There’s no phone number on it, only a “contact me” form.

I imagine there have been some passionate opinions typed into this form at 9pm on a Tuesday

Yeah right, have you seen the incredible volume of #content people want to say at politicians? No way anyone’s reading that form.

I later decided to try anyway, using the same Inspect Element ritual from earlier. Looking at the network requests the page makes, I divined that the “Contact me” form just straight up does not work. When you click “submit”, you get an error, and nothing gets sent.

This is an excellent way of using computers to solve the problem of “random people keep sending me angry letters”

Well rip I guess. I eventually realised the people to talk to were probably the government.

The government

It’s a big place.

In the beginning, humans developed the concept of language by banging rocks together and saying “oof, oog, and so on”. Then something went horribly wrong, and now people unironically begin every sentence with “in regards to”. Our story begins here.

The government has like fifty thousand million different departments, and they all know which acronyms to call each other, but you don’t. If you EVER call it DMP&C instead of DPM&C you are gonna be express email forwarded into a nightmare realm the likes of which cannot be expressed in any number of spreadsheet cells, in spite of all the good people they’ve lost trying.

I didn’t even know where to begin with this. Desperately, I called Tony Abbott’s former political party, who were all like

Skip skip skip a few more calls like this.

Maybe I knew someone who knew someone

That’s right, the true government channels were the friends we made along the way.

I asked hacker friends who seemed like they might know government security people. “Where do I report a security issue with like…. a person, not a website?”

They told me to call… 1300 CYBER1?

1300 CYBER1

I don’t really have a good explanation for this so I’m just gonna post the screenshots.

My friend showing me where to report a security issue with the government. I’m gonna need you to not ask any questions about the profile pictures.

Uhhh no wait I don’t wanna click any of these

The planet may be dying, but we live in a truly unparalleled age of content.

You know I smashed that call button on 1300 CYBER1. Did they just make it 1300 CYBER then realise you need one more digit for a phone number? Incredible.

Calling 1300 c y b e r o n e

“Yes yes hello, ring ring, is this 1300 cyber one”? They have to say yes if you ask that. They’re legally obligated.

The person who picked up gave me an email address for ASD (the Australian flavour of America’s NSA), and told me to email them the details.

Emailing the government my crimes

Feeling like the digital equivalent of three kids in a trenchcoat, I broke out my best Government Email dialect and emailed ASD, asking for them to call me if they were the right place to tell about this.

Sorry for the clickbait subject but well that’s what happened???

Fooled by my flawless disguise, they replied instantly (in a relative sense) asking for more details.

“Potential” exposure, yeah okay. At least the subject line had “[SEC=Sensitive]” in it so I _knew_ I’d made it big

I absolutely could provide them with more information, so I did, because I love to cooperate with the Australian government.

I also asked whether they could give me permission to publish this blog post, and they were all like “Seen 2:35pm”. Eventually, after another big day of getting left on read by the government, they replied, being all like “thanks kiddO, we’re doing like, an investigation and stuff, so we’ll take it from here”.

Overall, ASD were really nice to me about it and happy that I’d helped. They encouraged me to report this kind of thing to them if it happened again, but I’m not really in the business of uhhhhhhhh whatever the heck this is.

By the way, at this point in the story (chronologically) I had no idea if what I was emailing the government was actually the confession to a crime, since I hadn’t talked to a lawyer yet. This is widely regarded as a bad move. I do not recommend anyone else use “but I’m being so helpful and earnest!!!” as a legal defence. But also I’m not a lawyer, so idk, maybe it works?

Wholesomely emailing the government

At one point in what was surely an unforgettable email chain, the person I was emailing added a P.S. containing…. the answer to the puzzle hidden on this website. The one you’re reading this blog on right now. Hello. I guess they must have found this website (hi asd) by stalking the email address I was sending from. This is unprecedented and everything, but:

The puzzle says to tweet the answer at me, not email me

The prize for doing the puzzle is me tweeting this gif of a shakas to you

yeahhhhhhhhhh, nice

So I guess I emailed the shakas gif to the government??? Yeah, I guess I did.

Please find attached

Can I write about this?

I asked them if they could give me permission to write this blog post, or who to ask, and they were like “uhhhhhhhhhhh” and gave me two government media email addresses to try. Listen I don’t wanna be an “ummm they didn’t reply to my emAiLs” kinda person buT they simply left me no choice.

Still, defending the Commonwealth was in ASD’s hands now, and that’s a win for me at this point.

☑️ figure out whether i have done a crime

☑️ notify someone (The Government) that this happened

⬜ get permission to publish this here blog post

⬜ tell qantas about the security issue so they can fix it

Part 3: Telling Qantas the bad news

The security issue

Hey remember like fifteen minutes ago when this post was about webpages?

I’m guessing Qantas didn’t want to send the customer their passport number, phone number, and staff comments about them, so I wanted to let them know their website was doing that. Maybe the website was well meaning, but ultimately caused more harm than good, like how that time the bike path railings on the Golden Gate Bridge accidentally turned it into the world’s largest harmonica.

Unblending the smoothie

But why does the website even send you all that stuff in the first place? I don’t know, but to speculate wildly: Maybe the website just sends you all the data it knows about you, and then only shows you your name, flight times, etc, while leaving the passport number etc. still in the page.

If that were true, then Qantas would want to unblend the digital smoothie they’ve sent you, if you will. They’d want to change it so that they only send you your name and flight times and stuff (which are a key ingredient of the smoothie to be sure), not the whole identity fraud smoothie.

Smoothie evangelism

I wanted to tell them the smoothie thing, but how do I contact them?

The first place to check is usually company.com/security, maybe that’ll w-

Okay nevermind

Okay fine maybe I should just email [email protected] surely that’s it? I could only find a phone number to report security problems to, and I wasn’t sure if it was like…. airport security?

So I just… called the number and was like “heyyyy uhhhh I’d like to report a cyber security issue?”, and the person was like “yyyyya just email [email protected]” and i was like “ok sorrY”.

Time to email Qantas I guess

I emailed Qantas, being like “beep boop here is how the computer problem works”.

(Have you been wondering about the little dots in this post? Click this one for the rest of the email .)

A few days later, I got this reply.

And then I never heard from this person again

Airlines were going through kinda a struggle at the time, so I guess that’s what happened?

if ur still out there Shr Security i miss u

Struggles

After filling up my “get left on read” combo meter, I desperately resorted to calling Qantas’ secret media hotline number.

They said the issue was being fixed by Amadeus, the company who makes their booking software, rather than with Qantas itself. I’m not sure if that means other Amadeus customers were also affected, or if it was just the way Qantas was using their software, or what.

It’s common to give companies 90 days to fix the bug, before you publicly disclose it. It’s a tradeoff between giving them enough time to fix it, and people being hacked because of the bug as long as it’s out there.

But, well, this was kinda a special case. Qantas was going through some #struggles, so it was taking longer. Lots of their staff were stood down, and the world was just generally more cooked. At the same time, hardly anybody was flying at the time, due to see above re: #struggles. So, I gave Qantas as much time as they needed.

Five months later

The world is a completely different place, and Qantas replies to me, saying they fixed the bug. It did take five months, which is why it took so long for you and I to be having this weird textual interaction right now.

I don’t have a valid Booking Reference, so I can’t actually check what’s changed. I asked a friend to check (with an expired Booking Reference), and they said they didn’t see a mention of “documentNumber” anymore, which sounds like the passport number is no longer there. But That’s Not Science, so I don’t know for sure.

I originally found the bug in March, which was about 60 years ago. BUT we got there baybee, Qantas emailed me saying the bug had been fixed on August 21. They later told me they actually fixed the bug in July, but the person I was talking too didn’t know about it until August.

Qantas also said this when I asked them to review this post:

Thanks again for letting us have the opportunity to review and again for refraining from posting until the fix was in place for vulnerability.

Our standard advice to customers is not to post pictures of the boarding pass, or to at least obscure the key personal information if they do, because of the detail it contains.

We appreciate you bringing it to our attention in such a responsible way, so we could fix the issue, which we did a few months ago now.

I couldn’t find any advice on their website about not posting pictures of customer boarding passes, only news articles about how Qantas stopped printing the Frequent Flyer number on the boarding pass last year, because… well, you can see why.

I also asked Qantas what they did to fix the bug, and they said:

Unfortunately we’re not able to provide the details of fix as it is part of the protection of personal information.

:((

☑️ figure out whether i have done a crime

☑️ notify someone (The Government) that this happened

⬜ get permission to publish this here blog post

☑️ tell qantas about the security issue so they can fix it

Part 4: Finding Tony Abbott

Like 2003’s Finding Nemo, this section was an emotional rollercoaster.

The government was presumably helping Tony Abbott reset his passport number, and making sure his current one wasn’t being used for any of that yucky identity fraud.

But, much like Shannon Noll’s 2004 What About Me?, what about me? I really wanted to write a blog post about it, you know? So I could warn people about the non-obvious risk of sharing their boarding passes, and also make dumb and inaccessible references to the early 2000s.

The government people I talked to couldn’t give me permission to write this post, so rather than willingly wandering deeper into the procedurally generated labyrinth of government department email addresses (it’s dark in there), I tried to find Tony Abbott or his staff directly.

Calling everybody in Australia one by one

I called Tony Abbott’s former political party again, and asked them how to contact him, or his office, or something I’m really having a moment rn. They said they weren’t associated with him anymore, and suggested I call Parliament House, like I was the Queen or something.

In case you don’t know it, Parliament House is sorta like the White House, I think? The Prime Minister lives there and has a nice little garden out the back with a macadamia tree that never runs out, and everyone works in different colourful sections like “Making it so Everyone Gets a Fair Shake of the Sauce Bottle R&D” and “Mateship” and they all wear matching uniforms with lil kangaroo and emu hats, and they all do a little dance every hour on the hour to celebrate another accident-free day in the Prime Minister’s chocolate factory.

calling parliament house i guess

Not really sure what to expect, I called up and was all like “yeah bloody g’day, day for it ay, hot enough for ya?”. Once the formalities were out of the way, I skipped my usual explanation of why I was calling and just asked point-blank if they had Tony Abbott’s contact details.

The person on the phone was casually like “Oh, no, but I can put you through to the Serjeant-at-arms, who can give you the contact details of former members”. I was like “…..okay?????”. Was I supposed to know who that was? Isn’t a Serjeant like an army thing?

But no, the Serjeant-at-arms was just a nice lady who told me “he’s in a temporary office right now, and so doesn’t have a phone number. I can give you an email address or a P.O. box?”. I was like “ok th-thank you your majesty”.

It felt a bit weird just…. emailing the former PM being like “boy do i have bad news for you”, but I figured he probably wouldn’t read it anyway. If it was that easy to get this email address, everyone had it, and so nobody was likely to be reading the inbox.

Spoilers: It didn’t work.

Finding Tony Abbott’s staff

I roll out of bed and stare bleary-eyed into the morning sun, my ultimate nemesis, as Day 40 of not having found Tony Abbott’s staff begins.

This time for sure.

Retinas burning, in a moment of determination/desperation/hubris, I went and asked even more people that might know how to contact Tony Abbott’s staff.

I asked a journalist friend, who had the kind of ruthlessly efficient ideas that come from, like, being a professional journalist. They suggested I find Tony Abbott’s former staff from when he was PM, and contact their offices and see if they have his contact details.

It was a strange sounding plan to me, which I thought meant it would definitely work.

Wikipedia stalking

Apparently Prime Ministers themselves have “ministers” (not prime), and those are their staff. That’s who I was looking for.

Big “me and the boys” energy

Okay but, the problem was that most of these people are retired now, and the glory days of 2013 are over. Each time I hover over one of their names, I see “so-and-so is a former politician and….” and discard their Wikipedia page like a LeSnak wrapper into the wind.

Eventually though, I saw this minister.

Oh he definitely has an office.

That’s the current Prime Minister of Australia (at the time of writing, that is, for all I know we’re three Prime-Ministers deep into 2020 by the time you read this), you know he’s definitely gonna be easier to find.

Let’s call the Prime Minister’s office I guess?

Easy google of the number, absolutely no emotional journey resulting in my growth as a person this time.

When I call, I hear what sounds like two women laughing in the background? One of them answers the phone, slightly out of breath, and says “Hello, Prime Minister’s office?”. I’m like “….hello? Am I interrupting something???”.

I clumsily explain that I know this is Scott Morrison’s office, but I actually was wondering if they had Tony Abbott’s contact details, because it’s for “a time-sensitive media enquiry”, and I j- She interrupts to explain “so Tony Abbott isn’t Prime Minister anymore, this is Scott Morrison’s office” and I’m like “yA I know please I am desperate for these contact details”.

She says “We wouldn’t have that information but I’ll just check for you” and then pauses for like, a long time? Like 15 seconds? I can only wonder what was happening on the other end. Then she says “Oh actually I can give you Tony Abbott’s personal assistant’s number? Is that good?”.

Ummmm YES thanks that’s what I’ve been looking for this whole time? Anyway brb i gotta go be uh a journalist or something.

Calling Tony Abbott’s personal assistant’s personal assistant

I fumble with my phone, furiously trying to dial the number.

I ask if I’m speaking to Tony Abbott’s personal assistant. The person on the other end says no, but he is one of Tony Abbott’s staff. It has been a long several months of calling people. The cold ice is starting to thaw. One day, with enough therapy, I may be able to gather the emotional resources necessary to call another government phone number.

I explain the security issue I want to report, and midway through he interrupts with “sorry…. who are you and what’s the organisation you’re calling from?” and I’m like “uhhhh I mean my name is Alex and uhh I’m not calling from any organisation I’m just like a person?? I just found this thing and…”.

The person is mercifully forgiving, and says that he’ll have to call me back. I stress once again that I’m calling to help them, happy to wait to publish until they feel comfortable, and definitely do not warrant the bulk-installation of antivirus products.

Calling Tony Abbott’s personal assistant

An hour later, I get a call from a number I don’t recognise.

He explains that the guy I talked to earlier was his assistant, and he’s Tony Abbott’s PA. Folks, we made it. It’s as easy as that.

He says he knows what I’m talking about. He’s got the emails. He’s already in the process of getting Tony Abbott a new passport number. This is the stuff. It’s all coming together.

I ask if I can publish a blog post about it, and we agree I’ll send a draft for him to review.

And then he says

“These things do interest him - he’s quite keen to talk to you”

I was like exCUSE me? Tony Abbott, Leader of the 69th Ministry of Australia, wants to call me on the phone? I suppose I owe this service to my country?

This story was already completely cooked so sure, whatever. I’d already declared emotional bankruptcy, so nothing was coming as a surprise at this point.

I asked what he wanted to talk about. “Just to pick your brain on these things”. We scheduled a call for 3:30 on Monday.

And then Tony Abbott just… calls me on the phone?

Mostly, he wanted to check whether his understanding of how I’d found his passport number was correct (it was). He also wanted to ask me how to learn about “the IT”.

He asked some intelligent questions, like “how much information is in a boarding pass, and what do people like me need to know to be safe?”, and “why can you get a passport number from a boarding pass, but not from a bus ticket?”.

The answer is that boarding passes have your password printed on them, and bus tickets don’t. You can use that password to log in to a website (widely regarded as a bad move), and at that point all bets are off, websites can just do whatever they want.

He was vulnerable, too, about how computers are harder for him to understand.

“It’s a funny old world, today I tried to log in to a [Microsoft] Teams meeting (Teams is one of those apps), and the fire brigade uses a Teams meeting. Anyway I got fairly bamboozled, and I can now log in to a Teams meeting in a way I couldn’t before.

It’s, I suppose, a terrible confession of how people my age feel about this stuff.”

Then the Earth stopped spinning on its axis.

For an instant, time stood still.

Then he said it:

“You could drop me in the bush and I’d feel perfectly confident navigating my way out, looking at the sun and direction of rivers and figuring out where to go, but this! Hah!”

This was possibly the most pure and powerful Australian energy a human can possess, and explains how we elected our strongest as our leader. The raw energy did in fact travel through the phone speaker and directly into my brain, killing me instantly.

When I’d collected myself from various corners of the room, he asked if there was a book about the basics of IT, since he wanted to learn about it. That was kinda humanising, since it made me realise that even famous people are just people too.

Anyway I hadn’t heard of a book that was any good, so I told a story about my mum instead.

A story about my mum instead

I said there probably was a book out there about “the basics of IT”, but it wouldn’t help much. I didn’t learn from a book. 13 year old TikTok influencers don’t learn from a book. They just vibe.

My mum always said when I was growing up that:

There were “too many buttons”

She was afraid to press the buttons, because she didn’t know what they did

I can understand that, since grown ups don’t have the sheer dumb hubris of a child, and that’s what makes them afraid of the buttons.

Like, when a toddler uses a spoon for the first time, they don’t know what a spoon is, where they are, or who the current Prime Minister is. But they see the spoon, and they see the cereal, and their dumb baby brain is just like “yeA” and they have a red hot go. And like, they get it wrong the first few times, but it doesn’t matter, because they don’t know to be afraid of getting it wrong. So eventually, they get it right.

leaked footage of me learning how to hack

Okay so I didn’t tell the spoon thing to Tony Abbott, but I did tell him what I always told my mum, which was: “Mum you just gotta press all the buttons, to find out what they do”.

He was like “Oh, you just learn by trial and error”. Exactly! Now that I think about it, it’s a bit scary. We are dumb babies learning to use a spoon for the first time, except if you do it wrong some clown writes a blog post about you. Anyway good luck out there to all you big babies.

Asking to publish this blog post

When I asked Tony Abbott for permission to publish the post you are reading right now while neglecting your responsibilities, he said “well look Alex, I don’t have a problem with it, you’ve alerted me to something I probably should have known about, so if you wanna do that, go for it”.

At the end of the call, he said “If there’s ever anything you think I need to know, give us a shout”.

Look you gotta hand it to him. That’s exactly the right way to respond when someone tells you about a security problem. Back at the beginning, I was kinda worried that he might misunderstand, and think I was trying to hack him or something, and that I’d be instantly slam dunked into jail. But nope, he was fine with it. And now you, a sweet and honourable blog post browser, get to learn the dangers of posting your boarding pass by the realest of real-world examples.

During the call, I was completely in shock from the lost in the bush thing killing me instantly, and so on. But afterwards, when I looked at the quotes, I realised he just wanted to understand what had happened to him, and more about how technology works. That’s the same kind of curiosity I had, that started this whole surrealist three-act drama. That… wasn’t really what I was expecting from Tony Abbott, but it’s what I found.

The point of this story isn’t to say “wow Tony Abbott got hacked, what a dummy”. The point is that if someone famous can unknowingly post their boarding pass, anyone can.

Anyway that’s why I vote right wing now baybeeeee.

☑️ figure out whether i have done a crime

☑️ notify someone (The Government) that this happened

☑️ get permission to publish this here blog post

☑️ tell qantas about the security issue so they can fix it

Act 3: Closing credits

Wait no what the heck did I just read

Yeah look, reasonable.

tl; dr

Your boarding pass for a flight can sometimes be used to get your passport number. Don’t post your boarding pass or baggage receipt online, keep it as secret as your passport.

How it works

The Booking Reference on the boarding pass can be used to log in to the airline’s “Manage Booking” page, which sometimes contains the passport number, depending on the airline. I saw that Tony Abbott had posted a photo of his boarding pass on Instagram, and used it to get his passport details, phone number, and internal messages between Qantas flight staff about his flight booking.

Why did you do this?

One day, my friend who was also in “the group chat” said “I was thinking…. why didn’t I hack Tony Abbott? And I realised I guess it’s because you have more hubris”.

I was deeply complimented by this, but that’s not the point. The point is that you, too, can have hubris.

You know how they say to commit a crime (which once again I insist did not happen in my case) you need means, motive, and opportunity? Means is the ability to use right click > Inspect Element, motive is hubris, and opportunity is the dumb luck of having my friend message me the Instagram post.

I know, I’ve been saying “hubris” a lot. I mean “the willingness to risk breaking the rules”. Now hold up, don’t go outside and do crimes (unless it’s really funny). I’m not talking about breaking the law, I’m talking about rules we just follow without realising, like social rules and conventions.

Here’s a simple example. You’re at a sufficiently fancy restaurant, like I dunno, with white tablecloths or something? The waiter asks if you’d like “still or sparkling water?”

If you say “still”, it costs Eleven Dollars. If you say “sparkling”, it costs Eleven Dollars and tastes all gross and fizzy. But if you say “tap water, please”, you just get tap water, what you wanted in the first place?

When I first saw someone do this I was like “you can do that? I just thought you had to pay Eleven Dollars extra at fancy restaurants!”.

It’s not written down anywhere that you can ask for tap water. But when I found out you could do that, and like, nothing bad happens, I could suddenly do it too. Miss me with that Eleven Dollars fizzy water.

Basically, until you’ve broken the rules, the idea that the rules can be broken might just not occur to you. That’s how it felt for me, at least.

In conclusion, to be a hacker u ask for tap water.

FAQ

Why is it bad for someone else to have your passport number?

Hey crime gang, welcome back to Identity Fraud tips and tricks with Alex.

A passport is government-issued ID. It’s how you prove you’re you. The fact that you have your passport and I don’t is how you prevent me from convincing the government that I’m you and doing crimes in your name.

Just having the information on the passport is not quite as powerful as a photo of the full physical passport, with your photo and everything.

With your passport number, someone could:

Book an international flight as you.

Apply for anything that requires proof of identity documentation with the government, e.g. Working with children check

Activate a SIM card (and so get an internet connection that’s traceable to you, not them, hiding them from the government)

Create a fake physical passport from a template, with the correct passport number (which they then use to cross a border, open a bank account, or anything)

who knows what else, not me, bc i have never done a crime

Am I a big bozo, a big honking goose, if I post my boarding pass on Instagram?

Nah, it’s an easy mistake to make. How are you supposed to know not to? It’s not obvious that your boarding pass is secret, like a password. I think it’s on the airline to inform you on the risks you’re taking when you use their stuff.

But now that you’ve read this blog post, I regret to inform you that you will in fact be an entire sack of geese if you go and post your boarding pass now.

When did all of this happen?

March 22 - @hontonyabbott posts a picture of a boarding pass and baggage receipt. I log in to the website and get the passport number, phone number, and internal Qantas comments.

March 24 - I contact the Australian Signals Directorate (ASD) and let them know what happened.

March 27 - ASD tells me their investigation is complete, I send them a shakas gif, and they thank me for being a good citizen.

March 29 - I learn from lawyers that I have not done a crime 💯

March 30 - I contact Qantas and tell them about the vulnerability.

May 1 - Tony Abbott calls me, we chat about being dropped in the middle of the bush.

July 17 - Paper Mario: The Origami King is released for Nintendo Switch.

August 21 - Qantas emails me saying the security problem has been fixed.

September 13 - Various friends finish reviewing this post <3

September 15 - Tony Abbott and Qantas review this post.

Today - You read this post instead of letting it read you, nice job you.

I’m bored and tired

Let me answer that question,,, with a question.

Maybe try drinking some water you big goose. Honk honk, I’m so dehydrated lol. That’s you.

honk honk honk honl

Yeah, exactly.

I wrote this because I can’t go back to the Catholic church ever since they excommunicated me in 1633 for insisting the Earth revolves around the sun.

You can talk to me about it by sliding into my DMs in the tweet zone or, if you must, email.

#IFTTT #Feedly

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forestlion · 7 years

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ranking “german accents”/”the german language spoken” by hollywood actors (who are or are not german)

1. michael fassbender in x-men first class and the others can he have an uuuuhhhhh no mercy in this ranking because he was born in germany, i will not accept “but he was raised in ireland” as an excuse, seldom have i heard a name as german as Michael Fassbender. but his german speaking was pretty good, i gotta say (in that Bl*t und E*re scene where he kills the old naz*s)

2. christoph waltz in anything hes ever been in is An Austrian adn should not have been counted

3. the dude who played nightcrawler in xmen apocalypse 10/10 a very flamboyant portrayal of the german akzent, loved it, had a great time

4. daniel brühl as zemo in civil war? i watched that one in german, actually, and all characters had a very believable german speakings. but i jus watched an english scene and i guess.....i guess daniel brühl is An Actual German who can and does Speak German from time to time

5. alicia vikander cast as german british spy in codename uncle, who is actually swedish ???? there was barely an accent there or did i not witness the Whole, also as a swede, whomsts language is somewhat similar to german,,,, well,,, the complete german sentences in all german were very uuhhhhhh not fooling mine auditory canals

6. kinski no

7. michael bully herbig in that one asterix movie he didnt talk but i suppose his accent woulda been authentic

8. jennifer lawrence in xmen apocalypse as far as i recall she had a few german lines girl...

9. the rest of the cast that wasnt german in codename uncle i have 0 idea what they said because they were mushing their words, i guess, trying to sound authentic.... but next to the real crisp german speakings of the actual germans, well, what can i say, mmmmmm..... Subtitles On, my friends

10. michi fassbender in inglorious basterds the most ethnic man gets another mention and he does a good german accent and does speak german well in that film. you can hear that his “ch” and some of the “e” and lots of “r” arent Natural but theyre pretty good but alas, hes an uuuuhhhhh double passport guy, a languagetaur so to speak. does get called out on his accent tho.

11. me in a film my class once did high authenticity, even went as far as to include a slight dialecticity even, of sorts, very good, probably the best german accent done on film. maybe not hollywood but close

12. til schweiger in inglorious basterds not convincing, very nasal

13. Diane Heidkrüger (Diane Kruger) also in inglorious b but also in general is it just me or is her accent sometimes weirdly off, idk my guys

14. sandra bullock starring as Herself in Real life girl that girl sure speaks german! almost accent free

15. i heard kate winslet does a german accent in Der Vorleser but i didnt watch that movie but she won an oscar so i trust that her accent was spot on

16. elliot in that one episode of scrubs an american: ahaha let me do a german accent an american: *angry shouting* me: (:

#g #german stuff #language #german #deutsch

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johngarrisonmusic · 7 years

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Tour Diary Part 2

Arrive at JFK fully expecting a thorough, Trump era inspection and interrogation. However, I breeze through immigration and even have a nice conversation with Errol, my inspector. Although his authority muscle was flexed a little when questioned what music I was playing. “I play bass for James Blunt” I reply. “Who?” he says “That’s Showbiz” I quip……..!!!! An icy stare falls onto the once happy face of Errol. “I only like rap” are his final words as he stamps my passport and shouts “Next”

June 26

3 hours sleep. 4am lobby call. It’s Good Morning America live performance today of “OK”, Blunt’s new single here in the States. This track is quite personal for me as they are releasing a version of the track that I remixed along with James, as the main version to radio here in the States. You need to have many strings to the bow to make a living in music these days. We’re all in a daze as we check our hire gear. God knows what time our crew arrived but all the gear is set up and ready to go. Writing this a few days later and I can’t remember much about the performance but the label and management all seemed happy. I think. Or maybe I dreamt that…!!!

youtube

Jet lag and the general buzz of being in New York means an attempted snooze doesn’t happen. So Pembers (keys), Kristoff (drums) and I go for a power walk around Central Park. Gotta take the opportunities to stay in shape on the road. Something I’ve learned over the years. And failed at mostly..!!! Central Park is such a wonderful place. It never fails to impress. A perfect way to pass a few hours off. Days like this I feel very privileged to be doing what I do.

We then head off to another TV studio to perform on the Seth Myers Show. The studio is bloody freezing. It’s always the way with US TV shows. God knows why. There must be a reason. No idea what that is though. But it’s full jacket wearing performance for this show. Which is odd as it’s 27oC outside. A planned big night out in NYC is thwarted by jetlag that eventually kicks in too hard to ignore. Early night for us boring folk. How very un rock n roll…!!!

June 27

5am wake up. Not for any particular reason. Just jetlag. But that’s ok in NYC. I go out and wander the streets for 4 hours interspersed with coffee breaks. I still love this city. I lived here for 2 years back in 2006/7. It still feels like home. There’s an energy that emanates through the floor here. You can feel it coming out the walls of the buildings and skyscrapers. Everyone is here for a reason. There is a focus here that brings out the creative side in everyone who has one. I still love it and today I soak it up.

We are performing on Kelly and Ryan TV show today. Another freezing studio. A trailer filled with farmyard animals is parked right outside our dressing room. The odd ‘Moooo” and Baaahaaaa” interrupting James’ vocal warm up are highly amusing breaks to the tedious boredom of TV world. Still no idea why they were there as they never appeared on the show…!! Slightly gutted that the very cute Kelly is on holiday. It’s always a treat for the eyes playing on her show.

The boredom is abruptly shattered when we are told we have to lose 30 seconds of the track. We have already soundchecked so it’s a strategic edit arranged, board meeting style, around the table with no way of checking. Times like this we are thankful we are a fully live band with no backing track. We visually cue the changes live on air while being broadcast to millions. It’s times like this you know you are alive. It works. No time to stress or panic. We nail it. 3 mins dead. Everyone is happy. And we are done for the day. With nothing but a fight tomorrow, there is a palpable air of excitement amongst the band.

We head downtown to my favourite Italian restaurant in NYC called Emilio’s Ballato. It’s an old school mafia style Italian that I was introduced to when I lived here. Emilio is a terrifying, yet lovable character who sits at the door. Always does. Has done for decades. You only have to imagine a mafia style Italian restaurant owner with a gravelly voice who has to occasionally pop out to “take care of business” to know what he looks like. The mental picture you have now……. That’s Emilio. The first time I came here, Sting was sat at the first table with Jay Z and Rhianna. It’s that kinda place. Emilio Jnr takes us to a table and explains the menu in his “baddabing” way. It’s so cliché one or 2 of our party suspect it’s all a show. But I know for a fact it is not. The family back in Sicily send over the ingredients twice a week. All 3 of Emilio’s sons work at the place. It’s the real deal. And it’s awesome.

Tonight we are all on the guest list of the Imelda May gig at Webster Hall. Pembers, our keyboard player, is Imelda’s player too. He depped out the last 2 Imelda gigs as they clashed with the Blunt tour. But coincidence means we are all here in NYC. The band are amazing and Imelda’s voice soars in this place. A great old school sweaty gig. We hang out with the band at an Irish bar around the corner after the show. God knows what time we finished but it was a long hazy walk back to the hotel.

Goodbye NYC

June 28

Flight to Kansas today. We arrive to find they have not sent the mini bus that we asked for, but a car….!!! For 12 of us. So we squeeze in 3 cars with gear and bags on our laps. It’s not all glamour…!!

June 29 It’s the first day of our Ed Sheeran support today. Kansas City the first show. Still jetlagged. I’m up and wide awake at 5am. I decide to check out Kansas. I set off on a head clearing 90 minute walk. In the space of a few minutes, the sky turns apocalyptic black and I’m suddenly in the middle of an almighty downpour and a violent thunder storm. Flash floods come hurtling down the street. It’s actually pretty scary. But awesome too. Mother nature flexing her muscle and reminding us how insignificant we all are. Trash cans hurtling down the street. I run back to the hotel and watch the storm from the safety of my hotel window.

A post shared by JohnnyVic (@satellites_johnnyvic) on Jun 29, 2017 at 5:38am PDT

The tour bus pulls up outside our hotel. Always a hugely exciting moment. There’s something about American tour buses. It’s probably subconsciously linked to the childhood dream of touring the States that most musicians had at some point. But also just how cool the busses look. This is home for the next 2 months.

We get to the venue. The Sprint Arena. Sold Out 16,000. We meet Ed and all the crew. They are all super nice and friendly which is a welcome relief. It’s not always the case. The support act can occasionally be treated as a lesser entity. But not here. I think the fact James is such a big name in his own right helps. And the fact James and Ed are friends. Ed co-wrote some of the tracks on James’ new album and we even recorded one of them at Ed’s house earlier in the year.

We soundcheck the whole set. It feels a bit weird. Ed does his thing with just an acoustic guitar and a loop pedal. And rarely sound checks. So seeing all our full band gear on his stage feels a little intrusive on his minimal set. But again, Ed’s crew are all super helpful and asking if we need anything. We iron out a few issues from the rehearsals and drop a song as we creep over our allocated 40 mins.

My Bass Set up.

James and I then play a quick 3 song set unamplified on acoustic guitars for 25 competition winners. We haven’t worked out the songs before on acoustics so it’s very much on the fly. But they all seem thrilled.

Ed pops in to wish us luck as we all do our vocal warm ups. We go on.

It’s a younger crowd than we are used to. It’s quite clear pretty early on that a few of them have no idea who James is. I guess it is 12 years since his debut album was no.1 here in the States. But rather sweetly, you can see a lot of the crowd are holding their phones with the lyrics on and are attempting to sing along. So cute.

James announces “most of you were probably conceived to this song” as he strikes up the opening chords to the world wide smash that is “You’re Beautiful”. You can see the penny drop in the audience. And in a scene reminiscent of an 80’s style cheesy high school movie, the crowd slowly all get to their feet and whoop, with fists in the air as they all realise ‘it’s that guy’. It’s an amazing moment. And from that point on it’s an amazing show. James gets all the 16,000 to their feet as he piano surfs during the outro of our set.

We all come off and have a post gig huddle. It’s a success. There’s always a slight element of doubt before a support gig. But those doubts are put to bed tonight. Ed pops in before his set and pours us all a mandatory Tequila.

Ed hits the stage to an ear splitting shrill of 16,000 very excited people. It’s an amazing spectacle. Just a man and a guitar with a loop pedal. He is a master of his craft. Everyone is on their feet. From the hardcore fans at the front to the reluctant parents on the very back row, Ed has them all in the palm of his hand. With just the occasional look down at his loop pedal multi track set up, the accompaniments he makes on the fly with his voice and beating the guitar body for percussion, it’s seamless. And mighty impressive.

#ed sheeran #james blunt #nyc #kansas #johnnyvic #john garrison

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spnbaby-67 · 7 years

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Chapter 3

Summary: What happens when you work for a company that suddenly changed the rules on you, and you had no idea about it. Things change all the time, and sometimes changes lead to a good thing. But sometimes, it can lead to trouble.

A/N: This is my first fanfiction that I am happy to bring to you, I’m nervous as hell, but as the summary says. Changes happens all the time. Please no hate to Danneel or JJ, I love them both dearly and one day wish to meet them, but for the sake of the story Jensen is single. My work is to NOT be PUBLISHED on any other sites without my consent, Gif’s are not mine and thank you to the ones who do them. ALSO a MAJOR THANK YOU for Lee @wheresthekillswitch for the time she took to help me beta this chapter, Go check out her blog, amazing stories to. Also to @secretlyfurrydragon for her help to keep pushing me on. and @impalaimagining for the awesome aesthetic she made for me. And all of you awesome writers who have inspired me to write. THANK YOU! My heart goes out to everyone whose in the hurricane’s paths. stay safe.

Warnings: None other that a bit of language here and there. (I cuss sorry)

Craving You,

Chapter 3

Once I finally made it back to the office I must have had one hell of a smile on my face, because when I got off the elevator Abbie, our receptionist, looked at me. She had a look on her face like the kind you see on someone when something great or unexpected happened, and they want in on it.

“You must have had a good break, what happened?” She looked at me with questioning eyes.

I went over to her, “It was the normal everyday thing, other than they messed up my order twice. I mean, come on, how in the heck can one person, who’s been there for a while now, mess up on a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino?” I took the last sip of what I had left, before tossing the cup and straw in the trash next to us. “Are they ready for a meeting or what?” I asked, trying to avoid her asking any more questions.

“You might want to fix your shirt first.” She giggled looking at me.

“Oh crap, I forgot.” I smiled embarrassingly as I remembered how I got the beautiful shirt.

I ran into the bathroom by my office, took the top shirt off, then my shirt, which clearly you could see the big coffee stain, then I put his shirt back on. It was a green short sleeved Henley that felt so comfortable against my skin, at least it didn’t look bulky or feel tighter like before. It was just perfect, just like he was. I inhaled the scent of him, and it was so mesmerizing that I laid my head back against the wall to picture him standing there. Big mistake, because Abbie came in and saw me.

“{Y/N}! I knew something happened, and you’re going to tell me before you leave today. But right now you got five minutes to get in your office to gather your notes for the meeting. Mr. Singer is counting on you.” She pulled on my arm to put me in front of her, only to push me to walk faster.

“Ok, ok Abbie. I get it, I’m going.” I picked up the pace a bit and went to gather my notes, but the thought of his candy apple green eyes still haunted my vision.

About 3 pm everyone decided to call it quits for the long Labor Day weekend. Getting an early day, and an extra day off next week? Sign me up. I have loads of laundry, and a small apartment to clean. The meeting, which Mr. Singer was present for, went really well. He pulled me aside after to tell me how happy he was with the way I presented our final product to a firm we'd been trying to hook for a while now. Before he left, he congratulated me again on a job well done, and advised me to "keep it up". I gathered my purse with a smile on my face, not stopping for Kali when she tried to ask me about my shirt. How I got the shirt was none of her damn business, and the bitch could stew for the long weekend for all I cared.

I got home, and checked the messages on my machine. Course same ol’ same ol’, bill collectors, family and friends begging me to come this weekend. I really didn’t want to go anywhere, but the thought of going to Jo’s house this weekend was really tempting. She had a beautiful 6 or 7 acre land in Texas filled with all sorts of animals, including horses. I love horses they’re my favorite animals, next to dogs. I used to have one growing up, but my dad got into bad gambling debt. Him selling off my only friend to help pay off what he owed left me heartbroken, and that’s why I threw myself into books that summer.

My father drank a lot, and when he did, he was abusive in so many ways. Reading and escaping to the loft in the barn was my outlet. Especially, on bad days which at times, got real bad. You’d think having an older brother and three older sisters, would be a comfort. Turns out it wasn't. I dunno if it was because we were from different marriages, or maybe they just didn't like me. Either way, anytime they wanted to get someone in trouble, I was the target. Siblings, they say you gotta love ‘em, but I'm not so sure “they” were right.

Lynyrd Skynyrd, singing Simple Man, drags me back to reality. I look down at the display, the photo of Jo and I from our last get together stares back at me, and it puts a smile on my face. I slide the bar over to answer. "Hey you."

“Hey, I’m so hoping you will come down this weekend. We are having a huge BBQ, very Texas style, and I want you to be here. Please say you will.” She practically begs.

I giggle softly, because she doesn’t know I’m already packing and had booked my flight. “I dunno Jo, I mean I only have three days off; and that won’t be enough for me to have any kind of fun to be back at work on Tuesday.” I go to my closet to pull out some sundresses, Texas is hot right now.

“{Y/N}! Please, you have to come. I’ll even buy your plane ticket. I have some reward points I can use for you. You just have to be here.” She was graveling now.

“Jo, I honestly can’t. We have a short week next week, and I have a presentation next Friday.” I walk to the bathroom to grab some shampoo and such. I’m so bending the truth a bit, but I want to surprise her.

I almost swear I hear her near tears. “Fine! I’ll remember that {Y/N}. I had some things planned for us, I guess we’ll have to cancel them.” She sounds so heartbroken.

“I’m sorry Jo, really. It’s just bad timing and all.” I secretly smile, because she’s going to shit when she sees me there.

“Ok, promise me you will at least make it to my bachelorette party next month. I mean you are my maid of honor, so you really have no choice to be here.”

I zip the small carry-on luggage closed, and smile. “I will be there, I already have time off for that.”

“Ok, you have a great weekend, even though it won’t be that great without you here. You could be having loads of fun right about now.” The country music blasting in the background almost drowns her out.

“I know babes, but it’s Netflix and ice cream for me this weekend. Don’t worry I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” I grab a few things, and my passport wallet that I put in my purse on the way out.

“Fine! I’ll call you later.” Her dejected tone is muffled by a sniffle.

“Ok, tell Jeff to behave now. Love you both.”

“Love you too, {Y/N}.” She hangs up, and my heart literally breaks. But in the end I know she will be so happy to see me anyway.

I look around the apartment to see if I forgot to pack anything. I grab my carry-on and add my laptop, just in case I need to do some work next week while I’m away. Before I left for the weekend I asked Mr. Singer for the whole week off, so I could have some time in Texas. He agreed, on the condition that I would be on standby. Mr. Singer is awesome, he's the one I would talk to about the Kali thing, if I ever get the nerve to. But we shall see, probably by the time I get back, I'll have calmed down.

After one last look around, I turn off the lights, and set the alarm. I smile knowing that in a few hours, six to be exact, that I will be back home in Texas. Austin was my home, and at times like this I really missed it. But the heat, I roll my eyes just thinking about it, let’s say I’m glad I packed a few pairs of shorts and tank tops.

I arrive at the airport, clear security and go to my gate to wait to be called to board. I had saved enough to get first class this time, because heck why not, I worked for it. I’m in a good mood and that rarely happens, but today bumping into that beautiful stranger named Jensen, then the meeting going great, today turned out to be fantastic in the end when you think about it.

When I board the plane there are only maybe four people in first class. At least the flight attendant will have her job easy tonight. I get settled in my seat, and wait for the plane to push back. Right before the doors are about to close, an announcement comes from the cockpit, the pilot has been instructed to hold the plane for a guest. When I look up to catch a glimpse of the jackass who waited until the last minute to board a plane, my eyes grow big. It’s him, again. Twice in one day, but will he remember me?

I sit back to read a book, and my cell phone rings. I forgot to turn off. I quickly turn it to silent mode, it’s only Jeff, Jo’s husband, he knows I’m coming in and needs to know the time I’m landing. I text him quickly and turn my cell phone off, feeling embarrassed.

“Hey, I know you.” Jensen says, as he sits beside me.

I turn to look his way. “Hey, twice in one day. Must be my lucky day,” I try not to blush.

He smiles, and I melt. If he only knew what he does to me. I don’t see a ring on his finger or a shadow of one, but knowing my luck though, he’s engaged or has a girlfriend; but the flirting is fine by me. I can pretend he’s mine for six hours anyway. There’s no rule or harm in that, right?

@laqueus-ludovicus

@secretlyfurrydragon

@theshygirlao3

*if you want me to tag you on update let me know. *

#jensen ackles x reader #bad day #good day #twice in one day

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your-apocalypse-was-fab · 6 years

Text

Liveblog: Nancy Drew: Treasure in the Royal Tower (replay)

It snowed yesterday so I am in the zone(tm) for this.

I’ve always wondered what would happen if Nancy left her room without taking her key card, but had too much anxiety to try it.

16 years later I realize that Christie is Dexter’s cousin (once removed). Maybe senior detective was a mistake.

“No one knows why Ezra added all these dead ends to the castle’s design” Because Illinois might have HH Holmes’ murder castle but gosh darn it if Ezra wasn’t gonna give Wisconsin a chocolate milk castle of the same caliber.

I don’t remember if they ever say what Ezra died of, but based on the menu I bet it was a fried bologna sandwich.

Chill portrait of Anne of Cleves, Henry VIII’s German 4th wife outside Nancy’s bedroom. Really completes the...French? vibe of the castle.

BUT IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES

Shout out to the writer who named him Jean Le Boeuf just so they could make a beef pun.

Lisa, employing the ole ‘bring up the the thing you did to take suspicion off you’ tactic.

Or maybe she’s just really proud of her work, making that hole in the wall. I don’t know.

Jacques: “Why is it you American girls never know how to separate business from pleasure? Well, a former history professor once told me it was because of Anglo protestant work ethic.

Less than two hours into her vacation and Nancy has learned that her fellow castle guest Lisa has committed multiple felonies. Because having fake passports and state IDs is a felony.

Also, while I appreciate the work she puts into keeping each persona different, ya gotta stick to the facts when it comes to what languages, you know, lady.

The flexibility to keep typing AND get open the door to get her boots. What CAN’T Beatrice Hotchkiss do? Besides remember Nancy’s name.

ROCK AND ROLL, DEAR

There is no way a single human can eat 50 drumsticks in one sitting. Food poisoning from old chicken drumsticks is not a way to go, professor!

Jacques has left for the day, so I guess everyone in the castle is just doing to starve until he comes back tomorrow.

This game made getting stuck in an elevator seem like a more likely occurrence than it has been so far in my life.

Dexter really made Nancy having to escape through the elevator ceiling into a leisure activity. Just something she was doing in her free time.

Nancy: “He sure is French.“ RUDE. True, but RUDE.

Time isn’t real, in game or in actual life, but how was Nancy’s letter supposed to reach George in this storm? Think of the poor postal service workers.

Was writing down ‘KEEP SEARCHING!’ in your to-do list really necessary, Dexter?

It’s 9am Jacques, time to defrost some chicken legs.

So apparently, I can’t count windows.

Why can’t Nancy just ask Dexter, ‘how many windows are on the face of this chocolate milk palace?’ Why do I have to keep throwing out numbers?

HOW IS IT 15? WHERE ARE THEY? WHERE ARE THESE WINDOWS?

“Hey Jacques, what was it like bombing at the Olympics? Why are you crying, Jacques?”

#nancy drew #treasure in the royal tower #my commentary tag #in progress

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boston-boy-cevans · 7 years

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Everybody Needs Good Neighbors. – Chapter Four.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus Size Reader. Warnings: Language, Light Smut, Fluff. Word Count: 1.8k AN:This chapter is is shorter than the others, it’s kinda a filler chapter. I suggest reading chapters One. Two. Three.

_______________________________

You and Dean have been dating 6 months today and you’re ready to say it, those three words, you just don’t know when or how but you know what you’re feeling is real, you’ve been thinking about saying it tonight, cooking Dean a nice meal then just “I love you”, it sounds more romantic in your head.

Dean has also tried to say it a few times over the past week, he’ll look at you and you know what he’s about to say but he just ends up looking away or he says how lucky he is to have you. You’ve made up your mind, you’re telling him tonight, you’ve never felt this way about anyone before and you can’t keep it to yourself anymore. Things have been better than great over the past few months, work has been flowing well for Dean but he’s not overwhelmed and you’ve been doing great yourself, your relationship had a minor setback, well, barely a minor setback when you and Dean bumped into Mick whilst out enjoying a walk around the city.

You’d just come out of an ice cream bar when you heard your name being called, both you and Dean turn around and there he stood, Mick the guy that left you a note with his number at the hospital.

“Oh, hi” you said with a polite smile, “hey” he looks at Dean and his eyes wander down to your entwined hands “I’m glad your personal business worked out, i guess that explains why I never got a call” he paused “anyway, I’ll let you get back to it” he smiled then walked away, “who was that? Why were you gonna call him?” Dean asked, “it’s nothing he was just another drunk patient that hit on me” you shrugged, “well how many hit on you?”, “I don’t know, a few, I just ignore it, Dean, besides how many of your female clients hit on you?”, he mumbles something under his breath that you can’t make out then you both continue walking.

But things have been great and now you’re confident about how you truely feel about Dean, you pace your living room trying to brainstorm ideas on how to tell him ‘fuck it’ you think before grabbing your keys and heading out to your car. You park outside his shop and breathe deeply to calm your nerves, you step out of your car and walk towards the garage going straight to Dean’s office, he told you he was doing the books today and Cas would be working on the cars.

“Hey” you walk in without knocking, “hey, babe” he smiles “what’s going on?” he asked noticing the determination in your expression, “so I gotta say something, something I’ve only ever said to one other non-relative and if I don’t say it now then I’ll chicken out and wait for you to say it first-”, “Y/N, calm down, you’re babbling” he chuckles as he stands from behind his desk and walks over to you “I have to talk to your about something too actually, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now”, “okay but me first” you pause taking his hands in your own and looking into those green eyes that make your entire body feel alive whenever they’re on you “I love you, Dean Winchester” you smile, he smiles back and lets go of your hands to cup your face and press you lips together, the kiss is nothing but passionate, there’s no desperation, no need or want just love, “I love you too” he whispers against your lips before kissing you one more time “move in with me” he says pulling away “that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, I hate us constantly going back and forth between the two houses, I just wanna be in one place with you” he wraps his arms around your waist, “yes, I’ll move in with you” you smile and stand on your tiptoes pressing a kiss to his lips.

***

You’ve been reviewing rental applications all day, once you moved in with Dean a few weeks ago you decided that you were going to rent out your place and a little extra money could be helpful as you lost a few shifts at the hospital due to new nurses that they can’t even afford but hired anyway, none of you get paid what you deserve but if it was about the money, you wouldn’t be a nurse. You finally come across the couple that you really liked, Charlie and Rowena, the two redheads who just oozed happiness. You instantly fell in love with them, you only called one reference before you made your mind up and rang them and let them know that they can move in on the weekend.

“Okay, and if you need any help I’m sure my boyfriend wouldn’t mind helping out, bye” you hang up and sit your phone on the coffee table, “who am I helping?” you hear Dean behind you, “my new tenants” you smile standing and walk towards him “Charlie and Rowena, they’re moving in on the weekend” you wrap your arms around him “I told them if they need any help with the heavy lifting that I have a big strong and always willing to help boyfriend” you grin, “oh, is that so?” he raised an eyebrow and you nod, hugging him tightly “how about I show you just how big i am” you look up to a smirking Dean looking right back at you, he lifts you and sits you down on the edge of the couch, you let out a giggle “you don’t think I’m serious? I’ll show you right here on the couch, sweetheart” he growled in your ear, his hands squeeze your bare thighs hard as they make their way up to your lace covered core, you’re glad you decided to wear a sundress today, his lips on your neck, sucking and biting, you know there’ll be visible mark tomorrow and you moan in response “like that, don’t you?, like it when I’m a little rough” he smirks against you skin as his fingers dance lightly over your clothed clit “c'mon” he lifts you again and you wrap your legs around his waist “lets go to the bedroom”.

“Look what came in the mail today” Dean hands you an already opened gold envelope, as you sit on the couch after a long shift at work “oh, I’ve been waiting for this” you say excitedly “Jess told me she sent them all off the beginning of last week” you open it to find the invitation to Sam and Jessica’s wedding “you are cordially invited” you read aloud, “excited are we?” Dean asked sitting next to you handing you a glass of wine “of course, I love weddings, I like how they always make everyone happy” you smile “sad you didn’t get one?”, “I’m the best man, I don’t need an invitation, speaking of, do you own a measuring tape?” you look at him confused for a second “for my suit, I’m not getting on a plane to California just for a fitting so I told Sam I’d just send my measurements to him”, “oh, yeah I have a few”

“I liked the blue one”, “you only liked it because it was so tight I couldn’t wear underwear with it”, “no, I liked it because it looked amazing on you, and yeah, it’s so tight you can’t wear underwear with it” Dean grins mischievously. You’re shopping for a dress for Sam and Jess’ wedding and you thought it would be a great idea for Dean to come with you and help you pick out something nice, it was not a good idea. “You’re such a pervert” you jokingly hit his arm, “only when it comes to you, sweetheart” he presses his lips to yours “I also liked the red one” he mumbles against you lips, “good” you quickly peck his lips “because that’s the one I’m getting”, the red dress was gorgeous, it was floor length with a sweetheart neckline and it hugged your body it all the right places, it even made your belly look flatter than what it was, it’s pricey but you put more then enough money aside to pay for it. “No, I got this” Dean says reaching for his wallet in his back pocket, “Dean, I can afford this”, “ I know but I don’t like you spending your money”, “and I don’t like you spending your money either, especially on me unless it’s a gift for a birthday or something”, “well then, consider this an early birthday present”, “Dean” you try protest but inevitably give up, you know once Dean has his mind set on something then it takes a lot to change it and you’re too tired from trying on about 12 dresses to argue about it today.

“Passports?” Dean yelled, “check and check” you yell back, “plane tickets?”, check, check", “my speech?” he yells again, “check” you yell back once more and wheel your suitcases out into the living room “we have everything, if we don’t leave now we’ll miss our flight, Dean”, “I know, I guess I’m just nervous, I don’t want to mess up Sammy’s big day”, “you won’t” you rub his back trying to comfort him and he nods “okay let’s go to airport, Charlie’s been honking her horn for about 15 minutes”, she offered to drive you and Dean to the airport a few days ago when you went over too see how they were settling in, you graciously accepted wanting to save money on a cab.

“Dean, relax” you try pry his hand away from the seat that he’s clutching so hard you’re sure it’ll fall apart, “that’s easy for you to say” you can see a thin layer of sweat forming along his brow “you fly like all the time”, “we land soon, babe”, “not soon enough”, “is there anything I can do to ease your nerves, Mr Winchester?” you whisper seductively in his ear, you’re flying first class thanks to Sam, even though you both protested that economy was fine, he insisted and the tickets were non-refundable, “Y/N, we’re on a plane, with people around”, “Dean, we’re up the back, and everyone else is asleep” you reach for his belt buckle “just let me take your mind off this” you gesture to the plane you’re both sitting in “besides, are you really going to say no to a blowjob, Dean?” you cock an eyebrow, Dean gives you a sly smirk “god no”.

Once you land Dean let’s out a sigh of relief as soon as his feet touch solid ground, “you’re such a drama queen, c'mon” you grab his hand and lace your fingers with his “Sam and Jess are waiting for us at baggage claim”.

#Dean Winchester AU #Everybody Needs Good Neighbors #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester smut #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester #plus size reader

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