grollow

[grollow]

Rant below

Had my first appt with new psychiatrist wherein he literally told me that my family is abusive because I don't have a job (they were like this when I was a child), that I'm unhygienic (? What? I showered an hour before seeing him, my hair was even still wet?), and that I'm fat, and all of these are why I'm depressed and have social anxiety.

Unfortunately he's the only doctor who takes my insurance or I'd find another, but I've been feeling like shit all day because of it. :/

#ashe rants #medical #psychiatry #yes im aware he sucks #abuse reference

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Art by Jo Rioux

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Lurien ma boyyy

#i love when millipedes and centipedes are depicted this way 10/10

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In honor of the knew Red Sky chapter please take this. In my heart that there is a perfectly good texas roadhouse roll with cinnamon butter on top- @grollow

#the ancient evil must be contained once more #red sky #LOOK AT HIM LOOK

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Nyx

#mexican black kingsnake #snakes #colubrids #ashe pets

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Formless Oedon

#q

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hey rb this and assign prev what pokemon they'd be if they were turned into one mystery dungeon style

#darkrai #or if darkrais not an option #duskull

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yes i'm normal about him. i need to gnaw on him like a no. 2 pencil

#grimm

[grollow]

character playlists always should have the following:

song that is pretty accurate to the character’s story

song that doesn’t fit the character at all but i was thinking about them while listening to it on loop

song that has one or two lines accurate to the character’s story

song that just kind of is the character’s vibe

song that i desperately wish they would listen to because i personally like it

song that fits the character so well that it’s scary

unsure why this song is in the playlist but it’s so ingrained in my mind as 'part of the playlist' that it would feel weird to remove it

[grollow]

uh oh crap um. I don't know how to title my favorite tropes because naming things is hard but uh

FOUND FAMILY. listen, I come from a family that is Complicated. I've never subscribed to the "you're related so you automatically care about each other" and I find it really tiresome when I see it. The good shit is when people who are not biologically related form connections, meaningful ones, that matter. It doesn't have to be "you're like a brother to me," or "you're like a child," that can sometimes be boring, too. Family is so much more than blood and it's so much more than traditional family bounds and I literally always find myself exploring these connections. The "you make me crazy but I can't imagine my life without you and I'd miss you, we've been together so long" is so so so good. So is "I have watched you grow from broken to something respectable and I'm so proud of you." Found Family is my JAM.

I WOULD RECOGNIZE YOU IN EVERY LIFE. Slightly different from Soulmates because to me, Soulmates implied romantic--and I like this exploration when it's not just romantic. When it's "every life, we're destined for each other--either to fight or to be romantically attached, it does not matter; you will be there, and we will inexplicably collide." I do tend to lean into soulmates/reincarnation as romantic, but I also love love love when it's "I would hate you in every life, actually" because that's the good shit, ok? Complicated is GOOD.

CANNIBALISM ... I don't know. It keeps happening. I don't know.

ACCEPTANCE & VALIDATION As someone who has CPTSD that manifests as fight instinct, it is sometimes very difficult for me to find media that accurately represents the struggle people like me experience. We are ugly victims; we are not the downtrodden, beautiful thing you want to cuddle, hold, and love. We bite, we snarl, we lash out, and we push away every kind hand that comes, when we hurt--but we still need someone willing and able to put up with the bites. I like to explore the "beneath that scar tissue may be more scar tissue, but you still deserve to be loved, you still deserve to belong, you still deserve to be wanted." A lot of my works deal with letting people who are hurt be extremely messy, push people away, sometimes be downright unlikable on their journey to healing... because that's real to me. That's just what I think is needed.

MORALLY GRAY OR BUST I am a villainfucker. I do not enjoy traditional heroes. I think they're fucking boring. I also think that "I am good without question" is some of the most exhausting shit in the world to read. So I don't write it. My characters are sometimes assholes, sometimes selfish, and often-times do things that are straight up not cool. I do not mean this in the "my characters are flawed and yours arent!!!" sense--I mean this in "Red Sky's protagonist destroyed an entire kingdom but I bet most of you forgot that happened, didn't you?" I love when the protagonist is messy, not a good person, but not a bad one, either. Just genuinely "sometimes the things I do are bad for you, but not for me, deal with it" situations.

I think that's the tropes I tend to explore the most. You could argue I also like to fiddle with hope as a concept, because I really like the idea of getting knocked back down but not giving up, but I think that sort of ties in with #4.

Uhhh, who to tag? I'm not sure who all has been tagged so far, but here's some writing related stuff. Let's see. Some of my favorite writers-- @voidsiblings @dropout-ninja @ruthlesslistener @bimbomcgee @heraldofcrow

@leviathiane

@aewrie

Feel free to ignore if you've got no spoons. I like seeing what people play with!

(WHY WONT IT LET ME TAG YOU, DEPTHS AND AEWRIE. ITS BEING MEAN TO MEEEEE)

Thumbprint challenge

I was tagged by the lovely @willtheweaver

Rules: look back on your works, both past and present, finished and unfinished. What are five to ten narrative elements or tropes that continuously pop up in your work? Give a list of these things!

OMG this one his hard, but I'll try.

Self-worth issues: most of my characters have to realize their own worth throughout the story

Love doesn't fix your problems but it gives you the strength to fix them yourself - that's it, that's what my stories are about and always will be

Supportive characters - I don't like my heroes to exist in a vacuum, they are always surrounded by people that support them and that they care about

Lovers coming from different backgrounds - I have yet to find true enemies to lovers but my MCs always come from the opposite end of a scale

Dreams and nightmares - meaningful (prophetic?) dreams or nightmares occur in all my works. I don't have a rational reason for that, maybe it's my own messy relationship with sleep 😄

Gentle tag for: @astorichan, @ramwritblr, @sunset-a-story, @satohqbanana, @sarandipitywrites

#writing #tag games

[grollow]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

#the original gratlas post

[grollow]

Ordered a commission from my sister of @grollow's Grimm (aka Firefly) from Red Sky At Morning! (posted here with permission)

After having his heart severed from his body by his sister in an act of treachery, the god of Nightmares attempts to make a place for himself in the waking world and among cultures that he's never understood. Along the way, kingdoms rise and fall, and one god learns what the others of his kind have never truly understood--what it means to truly be mortal. Witness the birth of the Grimm Troupe.

#red sky #AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I AM SQUISHING HIS FACE #THE HE THE HE THE HE #THANK YOU AGAIN #(also your tags made me cri thank u)

[grollow]

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

#q #yeah

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you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?

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I think detaching disgust from morality is one of the keys to Chilling Out. You can find inner peace by being able to go "hm! Gross" and recognize if it's an actual problem or not. Cause if it's not an actual problem... it's not your problem 🙏 god bless

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