#also I just think this quick diagram by me is funny

[whimsyprinx]

i wanna remind y’all that anything i try to envision more of less looks like this, sometimes better sometimes worse (honestly usually worse but ya know ahdjjfkt) always vague and blurry

#whimsy whispers #I like #never questioned this or thought much about it tik a few months ago #it’s like just something I didn’t think was important #i think it’s part of why I didn’t and don’t enjoy reading book books that much because I can’t really visualize the characters for it ya kno #like I have a vague idea of what things look like in my mind #sometimes I think I think of things more clearly then other times but it’s usually a struggle #for someone who spaces off a lot I’m very bad at using my mind to see things #also I just think this quick diagram by me is funny #🍎🌫️ ​apple

[starryeyedjanai]

hypnotized in your cherry thrill

kinktober prompt: virginity | buckingham | explicit | 4k inspired entirely by @stobinesque's microfic about this concept

read on ao3

"Wait, what?" Robin asks, voice incredulous because there's no way she heard her right.

Chrissy blushes, cheeks going such a deep pink - the kind of flush she might get during-

She's getting ahead of herself.

Chrissy stammers for a couple seconds before she asks, "I mean, is it really that surprising?"

Robin blinks at her. "Okay, yeah, the whole 'raised Christian' thing. So not having sex I totally get, but you never-?"

Chrissy squirms a little, twisting her mouth. "That's also the 'raised Christian' thing. It was just something no one ever talked about. And I always felt guilty even thinking about trying."

Robin takes a minute to digest that.

She had an inkling about her being a virgin - she's talked before about her upbringing, but to be fair, she's also talked about how much she's wanted to get away from that.

So the virginity thing, she can get. What she's absolutely floored to hear about is that Chrissy's never even had an orgasm by her own hand.

That shit was something Robin figured out in her early teenage years. Her mom sat her down and gave her the Talk and handed her a hand-held mirror and some printed out diagrams and told her that it was important for her to get to know her body.

So Robin knows her body, has gotten herself off an incomprehensible number of times, knows how to get herself off quick and fast if she needs to - which comes in handy living in a shared room for the first time.

The thought of one of her friends not only not knowing anything about her body, but not ever even having explored it is such a foreign concept to Robin that it throws her off.

When Chrissy came to her with a secret, she thought she was going to get the deets of how she actually did hook up with her high school boyfriend despite previously saying that she hadn't. Because seriously, even good Christian girls have secrets like that, right?

But that is not what she told her.

She sat on the bed next to Robin and wrung her hands looking nervous to even be talking about it, but then she'd whispered that she hated not knowing anything about her body and wanted to know if Robin would be willing to teach her about it because Robin's not shy about sending Chrissy a text saying not to come back to the room for a little while so she "must know about orgasms," - the word whispered like it's a bad word.

Which is honestly sending Robin into a bit of a spiral.

Because she's been crushing on Chrissy since the first time she saw her laughing at one of Robin's stupid jokes.

It took time, is the thing. Chrissy was so reserved when they first moved into their dorm room, barely speaking to Robin unless she had to.

Robin quickly learned about her through some digging and she thought that maybe Chrissy was just super judgmental or something, but it turned out that she was just nervous being away from home for the first time, in a city nothing like her hometown, with a much more diverse group of people than she knew back home.

But when she finally opened up and talked to her, Robin immediately knew she was in trouble. Because Chrissy is gorgeous and kind and funny and-

Now she wants her to help her learn her body.

Robin's face is hot as she says, "So you- just so I'm not misunderstanding. You want me to show you, like, how to touch yourself. Like-?"

"It's weird, it- I shouldn't have asked. We can, we can forget I said anything. It's stupid," Chrissy says quickly, moving to get off the bed.

Robin puts a hand on her arm and says, "We are not forgetting this, Chris. I want to help you."

"You do?" Chrissy asks, her eyes wide as she looks at Robin.

Robin nods. "How do you want this to go? Like, we can watch something and I can tell you what to do?"

Chrissy shakes her head. "Not porn," she whispers. "Like, you could-" She cuts herself off and bites her lip. She puts her hand in her lap and looks at Robin like she's supposed to read her mind.

Somehow, it clicks in her brain and she gapes at Chrissy. "You want me to- demonstrate? Like- touching myself?"

There's no fucking way she got that right, no way that that's what Chrissy meant, but she's nodding her head, looking relived that Robin understands.

She can't say no.

Chrissy is sitting on her bed, looking nervous and Robin can't say no.

She doesn't want to. Maybe it's selfish, maybe she's going to hate herself after, but she's not saying no. The thought of being the person who, maybe inadvertently, is the reason behind Chrissy's first orgasm is overwhelming and fills Robin's entire being with this persistent buzzing.

"Okay," she says, breathing out heavily. "Now?"

It's the middle of the day. She didn't have anything planned for the rest of the afternoon, but Chrissy seems more the type to want to turn the lights off at night and not look at whoever she's with, but maybe Robin was wrong to think that. Everything about this is surprising her, so she should really stop expecting anything to go the way she thinks it will.

Chrissy nods shyly. "If that's okay," she says.

"Yeah, that's-" more than okay. Robin takes a deep breath in and says, "I'm gonna take off my clothes if that's okay. And you can too if you want to, like, practice after I show you."

Chrissy nods and they both get up from the bed.

This is so fucking insane.

Chrissy lifts her shirt over her head and Robin is used to having to look away when Chrissy gets changed because she doesn't want to creep on her or make her feel weird. But she watches as Chrissy pulls her top off and realizes she's way in over her head.

She snaps out of it and takes her own shirt off, feeling a little self conscious because she's not wearing a bra and Chrissy is openly staring at her tits as she unhooks her own bra.

Robin feels like she's going to pass out when Chrissy drops her bra on the floor. Her tits are fucking perfect. If Robin was hooking up with Chrissy and not just showing her how to touch herself, she'd be swooping in immediately to get her mouth on one of her nipples.

Her tits look like they'd fit perfectly in Robin's hands. She wants to touch her, wants to put her mouth on her.

This was such a stupid idea. There's no way she's going to walk away from this without falling in love with her.

Chrissy pushes down her skirt and Robin gets with the program and takes her jeans off.

They're left standing in their underwear, looking at each other, and Robin feels nervous.

She's nervous that she's going to screw this up. She's nervous that she's suddenly going to forget how to touch herself with Chrissy looking at her. She's nervous that Chrissy isn't going to feel good touching herself, that she's going to be left disappointed.

She tries to push through the anxiety that's suddenly gripping her and pushes her underwear down.

Chrissy does the same and Robin is gifted with the view of Chrissy's bush, trimmed and neat and-

She has to look away. She's going to combust if she keeps looking. There's so much to look at.

Robin realizes the only thing they're both still wearing are the tacky friendship bracelets they bought at the mall early in the semester and has to steady herself. She doesn't know why that of all things is what is tripping her up so bad.

"I'm- uh, we can. On the bed?" Robin stammers, but Chrissy nods, so they both climb back onto Robin's bed.

She has no idea where to start. She's normally laying down when she masturbates, but she isn't sure what would be the best view for Chrissy to see everything.

They're both kneeling on their knees and Robin realizes that Chrissy looks just as nervous as Robin feels and that helps melt away some of her nerves of getting everything wrong. She's going to be helping, even if Chrissy doesn't come, even if it's a little weird or awkward. She wants Chrissy to know how to make herself feel good.

"So, you've never tried touching yourself?" she asks to confirm.

Chrissy says, "Never. I, okay, I tried touching myself a little one time, but I didn't know what to do or, or what felt good. And it all kind of felt like I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be so I just stopped and didn't try again."

"Okay," Robin says. "I normally lay down when I- uh. So we can lay down next to each other maybe."

Chrissy nods and Robin moves her pillows side by side so they both have one to lay their head on.

Robin's left arm brushes against Chrissy's as they both lay down. Twin beds really aren't built for two people and that fact has never felt more obvious than right now.

"So, uh. I, I normally only really touch my clit when I masturbate. So I can show you what I do and then you can do it," Robin says, not sure how this is really going to work. Is she going to make herself come in front of Chrissy or is she just going to do a little demo and let Chrissy have the room to herself to explore a little? She has no idea what's about to happen.

"Okay," Chrissy says, sitting up on her elbows to be able to see better.

"Do you, uh, know where your clit is?" Robin asks, because she isn't sure how much 'I have no idea how anything on my body works' covers.

"I think so?" Chrissy says, sounding unsure.

"Okay, so. Uh, if you look, my clit is right here," she says, spreading her thighs a little and spreading her labia with two fingers to point at it with her other hand.

Chrissy leans up and then leans in and Robin sucks in a deep breath, feeling more than a little overwhelmed all of a sudden.

Chrissy sits up further and says, "I think I maybe need to be closer to see. This angle isn't working. Could you spread your legs? I can sit between them."

The thought of spreading her legs for Chrissy makes her pussy throb, the want lighting her up from the inside.

She does as Chrissy asked, spreads her legs and Chrissy slides onto her knees between them. Since there's more room on the bed now, she scooches a little closer to the center and Chrissy repositions herself between her spread thighs, looking at where Robin still has her fingers in a vee on either side of her clit.

Robin's thigh is touching Chrissy's knee, they're so close. She spreads her legs wider because if she's touching Chrissy while she touches herself, she's actually going to go insane.

Robin feels dizzy and hot. She's never really been one for exhibitionism, but being looked at like this is - it sure is something.

Chrissy's looking at her like she's a marvel, like she's something worth looking at, and it's kind of fucking Robin up a little.

She was sure an hour ago that Chrissy was a straight girl that she was doomed to crush on - not from afar since they literally share the same room, but just. She thought-

But now, with Chrissy looking at her pussy like this, looking hungry almost, it's hard to tell.

She takes in another deep breath and says, "This is my clit," tapping it with her middle finger.

Chrissy's looking intently still, watching her fingers, and Robin knows she has to be able to see the slick dripping out of her by now because her hole feels soft and open the way it gets after she comes with how wet she is.

She's got a beautiful girl between her thighs, so she thinks it was only ever inevitable that she was going to get fucking soaked.

Chrissy's attentive as Robin shows her what she normally does, as she talks her through how she normally touches herself.

"There isn't really much finesse to it. I just kind of," she trails off as she rubs circles around her clit.

"And that feels good?" Chrissy asks, licking her lips. God.

"Yeah. Well, if I'm not turned on, it's just kind of meh, but when I'm horny, it feels really good. I'm super impatient most of the time, so I kind of jump in and go kind of fast until I come like this."

She moves her middle finger over her clit quickly and feels the orgasm building with the faster movement. She switches to circling her clit with her index and middle finger on either side of her clit and keeps the pace fast, a moan falling from her mouth as she does.

She stops after another minute and closes her eyes because if she doesn't, she's going to come under Chrissy's watchful gaze.

When she collects herself, she opens her eyes and looks at Chrissy. She says, "So that is basically all there is to it. It's different for different people though, so what works for me might not work for you. But you can try it out and see if it gets you off and if not-"

Chrissy cuts her off and asks, "You don't ever, like, slow down and savor it?"

That kind of throws Robin off a little. That wasn't what she was expecting.

"I mean, when I'm with someone else, I do. But if I'm by myself and not, like, watching or reading anything spicy, it's mostly just the orgasm that I'm after, you know?" She cringes as the last words fall out of her mouth because of course Chrissy doesn't fucking know.

"I... can kind of understand that, I think. So if you were with someone, you'd let her take her time with you?" She's looking at Robin's face as she asks this and Robin shivers a little.

"Yeah," Robin whispers and the tension in the room thickens. She clears her throat and says, "But this is supposed to be about you. So I can go and leave you to try it out on your own if you want?"

"I don't want that," Chrissy says, shifting back from where she's kneeling between Robin's legs. She spreads her knees and they both bump up against Robin's spread thighs.

She leans back and with a shaky hand, she covers her pussy with it, cupping it.

Robin opens her mouth to say that they can switch positions if she wants, but the words get caught in her throat when Chrissy copies what Robin showed her and spreads her labia with her fingers.

With her thighs spread and her fingers holding herself open, Robin can see how wet she is, her slick clinging to the hairs there.

Her mouth is suddenly incredibly dry, and she desperately wants to taste the wetness between Chrissy's thighs. She wants to bury her face between Chrissy's thighs and suck the slick right out of her, drink her juices as she clenches her thighs around Robin's ears. This is so bad - she's got it so bad.

"So like," Chrissy starts to say, but cuts herself off when she strokes her finger over her clit.

She's so fucking pretty, it's actually unfair.

Robin's breathing harder now than when she was touching herself, watching Chrissy tentatively move her fingers over herself. How the hell is she supposed to be normal when Chrissy gasps so pretty when she does something that feels good?

"Is that right?" Chrissy asks, still touching herself, her fingers deftly rubbing circles on her clit.

Robin's nods and says, "That's, yeah. That's how I do it at least."

Chrissy slows her fingers down to a stop and looks Robin in the eye.

"Maybe um - I don't know if I'm doing it right. Maybe you could, you could show me. Like a hands on demonstration, just to make sure I know how it's supposed to feel," Chrissy says, once again shattering Robin's perception of reality because there's no way this isn't a dream, right? The pretty girl she's been admiring for months now is not only in her bed touching herself, she's asking if Robin wants to touch her. That definitely feels like a dream she's had before.

"You. You want me to- touch you?" she asks, ready for Chrissy to laugh in her face because this has to be a joke.

But Chrissy just nods, looking self-conscious like she isn't the most beautiful thing Robin's ever seen, like Robin is going to say anything but a resounding and enthusiastic yes.

Robin has no idea how she pulls together the brain power, but she says, "Okay, you should lay down then," and holds her breath as Chrissy complies, moving to lay back down. They shuffle around like before and get settled next to each other again.

Chrissy's laying next to her, and Robin rolls onto her left side.

With Chrissy so close, Robin can see that her skin is so smooth and her tits are so pretty and her cunt is hairy and wet and gorgeous and Robin is so fucking overwhelmed right now. She's going to touch her. She's going to get to touch her, to put her hands on her, and she's so overwhelmed.

Dear god, she doesn't know how she's going to survive this.

She puts her hand over Chrissy's, dragging it down to her cunt, and positions her fingers the way that she normally does when she touches herself - the way she'd shown her.

She keeps her hand on Chrissy's and moves it for her, starting up a slow, steady motions, rubbing at her clit slowly the way she would if she was making out with someone and getting them worked up.

"Oh," Chrissy whispers, sighing. "That feels different from when I did it. Kind of."

Robin keeps moving Chrissy's fingers for her, letting her get a feel for it.

She says to her, "I find that it's more intense when someone else is touching you. You can't anticipate their movements so it makes it kind of exciting. When it's your own hand, you know what to expect. Not that that's a bad thing."

"Oh, okay. That makes sense," Chrissy says. She lets go of the tension in her body that's been there thus far, lets her legs fall open a little more.

"I sometimes get my fingers a little wet so there's less friction, uh-" she cuts herself off, trying to think of a way to show her how she uses just her middle finger on herself. She can't think of a way so she says, "I can show you, like, not with your hand. With my hand. My fingers."

She cringes at herself.

Chrissy sighs so pretty and says, "Yeah, okay, you can."

So Robin lets go of Chrissy's hand and watches as Chrissy lets it fall to the side. Fuck. It's been difficult to contain herself and up until now, it's still been by proxy, but this? Putting her hands on Chrissy, letting her fingertips drag through the slick mess between her legs? She's actually feeling faint at the idea.

But Chrissy is trusting her, is opening up her legs for her, and Robin can't let her down.

She lets her hand drift between Chrissy's legs, lets her middle finger touch the slickness at her hole.

She says, "God, you're so wet," in awe. Chrissy's fucking dripping with it.

"Sorry," Chrissy gasps.

"Don't apologize," Robin says with a laugh, bringing her middle finger back up.

She touches Chrissy the way she would touch herself if she was trying to get off quickly, flicking at her clit with her middle finger rapidly.

Chrissy moans so sweet in her ear and it just encourages her to go faster, to try and make her come.

She rubs circles around her clit again, faster than before, and Chrissy's hips buck up.

"I- oh god, that feels good," she says, bringing her thighs closer together instinctively.

"You know," Robin says, rubbing tight circles around her clit. "Depending on how you feel about virginity, this could count as- you know. This could count, someone else getting you off." The thought makes Robin flush red. Being the first person to get her off is one thing, but the person taking her virginity? She didn't know that was a thing for her.

Chrissy's gasp is loud in the quiet of their room. "That's - holy shit."

The noise Chrissy lets out as it hits her, as she starts to come - for the first time - is something Robin's never going to forget.

She fucking wails as Robin's keeps the pace of her fingers steady, as she rubs larger circles, feeling Chrissy's cunt pulse and clench as she comes.

This is Robin's favorite part of being with someone, watching someone fall apart - the way Chrissy's legs shake, the sounds she makes, the way her hand comes up to grasp at Robin's wrist as she slows her fingers down and drags her through the last waves of it.

Her fingers stop moving when Chrissy's hand on her wrist goes lax, when she's melted back into the bed, looking dazed.

There's a flush high on her cheeks and Robin feels a fierce sense of accomplishment for being the one to put it there.

It's quiet in the room as Robin dips her fingers lower again to gather more of Chrissy's slick juices on her fingertips.

She brings her hand up and doesn't have to say anything as Chrissy watches her every movement like a hawk. When her hand is close enough, Chrissy just opens her mouth for a taste, so Robin presses the tips of her fingers against her tongue.

Chrissy hums, her lips closing around Robin's fingers as she sucks lightly.

When Robin's brain starts working again, she doesn't have any idea why she thought putter her fucking fingers in Chrissy's mouth was a good idea. Well, it's probably better than putting them in her own mouth, at least. Tasting Chrissy, god - she doesn't know how she could resist immediately shoving her head between her thighs if she did that.

Her fingers slip from Chrissy's mouth and she tries to gather her wits again, because she needs to go shower, needs to go get herself off immediately.

She asks, "Was that okay?" because she has to know, has to know if nothing else, that Chrissy felt good doing that.

Chrissy nods, still looking relaxed and flush. "That was- I can get why you rush it if you're alone now. It was-" She clears her throat. "It was good, really good."

"I'm glad," Robin says. "I should clean up, though. Take a shower."

Chrissy nods again and says, "Okay. Um, thank you. That was really nice."

Robin smiles, feeling a little bashful. "You should try to get yourself off now. The wonders of multiple orgasms and all that." Robin sits up and rises from the bed, going to grab her towel. She wraps it around herself.

When she looks back over, Chrissy's flush, which had been receding, comes back with full force. "You- I. Will it feel good, the second one?"

"Oh yeah," Robin says. "And the third and the fourth. They all feel good. Some are maybe less intense, but in my experience, the longer you go, the more sensitive you get, so. It's something to play around with, how much is too much for you."

"Oh. I'll try that then. Not all at once, I don't think. But I'll try the second one now," Chrissy says, blinking up at Robin with an expression she can't really read.

Robin grins at her and says, "I don't think you'll have any trouble, but I'll take an extra long shower, just in case."

Chrissy smiles at her, but it doesn't really reach her eyes.

Robin grabs her shower caddy and waves at her before she leaves, unable to shake the feeling that she's missing something.

She's so caught up in thinking about it in her shower that she forgets to get herself off.

The room smells like sex, like pussy and orgasms, when she returns. Chrissy's gone, likely taking a shower of her own.

Robin's still thinking about it when Chrissy gets back from her shower, but Chrissy is totally back to normal, smiling over at her like everything is fine.

#robin buckley x chrissy cunningham #stranger things #stranger things fic #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #buckingham fic #buckingham #stranger things fanfic #robin x chrissy #chrissy x robin #chrissy cunningham x robin buckley #janai.doc

[dammons-forgefire]

A general question how do they look naked? (No sexual purpose I’m just curious about what’s the difference between us and them) are they half devil??

Hello anon, thanks for your question! :)

The reply has gotten a little more lengthy, sorry for that. I hope it answers all your questions.

First of all, I do believe that thanks to the "Blood of Asmodeus" curse, tieflings are to some degree blood-related to devils, though they are not half-devils. That blood, however, does affect their looks.

I will definitely be talking more about tiefling skin in general in the future, from the nice ridges on their tails to the skin around their horns, and the bumps along their chests and backs, but those are already visible in the game. Have a quick look for example at the back of Poem, my tiefling character:

The way those ridges work I believe, is to provide additional protection, almost like a layer of body armor created by a tiefling's own body, shielding more vulnerable places like the spine, but they also exist on areas of skin like the elbow and knee that are already thicker in humans, as the skin there has to withstand mechanical stretching from those joints having quite a bit of mobility and being used all the time.

Due to fewer oil glands in this area, the skin there gets drier and flakier, and retains less water. I believe the thicker skin there also serves protective purposes, but not exactly the same way as the ridges on the spine and ribs. They are probably mostly there to ease friction, but also protect the sensitive nerves there. (Yes, the funny bone is actually a nerve called the Ulnar nerve, and tieflings probably have no issues hitting it, because it is much better protected.)

Then, of course, there are genitals, which were kept fairly standard for tieflings in BG3.

As much as I personally like to imagine their genitals to be ribbed or nubby, I don't think it would make much sense. The bumps and ridges on their skin are for protection, and while genitals are definitely a sensitive area, they should probably not have this particular type of protection.

My reasoning here would be how these ridges work vs. what you would typically want.

I've quickly doodled something to explain this a little better, please excuse the quality here and my terrible handwriting haha

Please note that I drew up this little diagram as a more general sort of overview and the yellow subcutaneous tissue has its color from the fat that is typically part of this layer, but is missing in clitoris, penis, eyelids, and other similar areas of skin. That's why these areas of skin feel different, by the way!

Epidermis (Outermost layer of skin)

Dermis (Middle layer of skin containing connective tissue, the superficial arteriovenous plexus [a] with all those fine little blood vessels, and also the deep arteriovenous plexus [b], so the thicker blood vessels, but also the dermal nerve fibres that I marked in pink here.)

Hypodermis/Subcutaneous tissue (Layer right below the skin, anchoring the skin to the connective tissue of the body)

As you can see, the nerve does not reach all the way into the epidermis (which is good, you absolutely would not want that). But that also means adding a protective layer to it, as I have done in tiefling-red on the right, you create an even thicker barrier before reaching the nerve, making the skin a lot less sensitive.

Obviously, you do not want a tiefling's genitals to be insensitive like this. You want them to enjoy having sex after all.

Additionally, according to this article, as well as the player handbook, the Asmodeus curse has made tiefling genetics very dominant, meaning that tieflings will always produce tiefling offspring, serving "a purpose for the Hells in that it strengthens their presence in the mortal realms".

This leads me to speculate whether tieflings might have higher libido than humans and if, perhaps, they are more potent.

Additionally, due to the way their pelvis is shaped thanks to their tails (I will get more into this in the tail essay), there is a chance that - compared to humans - giving birth is slightly less painful for them. While probably far from an enjoyable process, they could potentially see some benefits from their sacrum being turned outward.

As far as shapes and sizes go, it seems logical for them to be at least compatible with other humanoids to ensure that they can produce offspring with one another. Tiefling vaginas would probably be similar to those of humans, not much deeper or wider, since too many differences would make impregnation harder for any non-tieflings.

Tiefling penises probably also wouldn't be much longer or thicker or strangely shaped, as that could do significant damage to a human or elven body, which would once again not lead to creating more tiefling offspring for Asmodeus to extend his reign.

But it is possible for them to have differences! I think that's mostly where people's headcanons can come in. Anything that doesn't make it biologically more difficult to conceive a child is fair game!

Penises with more tapered tips? Possible.

Larger or more sensitive clitoral glans? Hell yeah!

Want your tiefling to have an additional g-spot that Asmodeus put in there to be cheeky? Go for it!

--

I hope that did answer your question well enough, but please feel free to follow up if there is anything else you would like to know.

#baldur's gate 3 #tiefling #bg3 #nsft #bg3 dammon #bg3 rolan #bg3 zevlor

[mandos-mind-trick]

Sharpshooting

Summary: Hunter pairs Midnight with Crosshair on a mission after Tech finishes her new armor. Midnight gets a few lessons in sharpshooting, and an attitude adjustment from the Batch’s resident sniper. 

Warnings: Guns, talk of injuries briefly, Crosshair being Crosshair, language, smut, P in V smut, fingering, Crosshair’s ass fixation, some rank-play, hair pulling, orgasm denial. 

Pairing: Crosshair x reader, implied poly Bad Batch x reader

A/N: I swear I didn’t plan the order of these, we just happen to be going back to Crosshair first cause it fit with the storyline. Also, I know nothing about sniping so if this is totally wrong, please forgive me. Also planned to get this out earlier but we started Independence Day late and I had to finish this on “make sure the neighbors don’t burn the neighborhood down” duty. 

< Previous | Next > | MASTERLIST

Midnight creeps slowly down the hall, walking on her tiptoes to avoid waking the sleeping clones in the bunks. She couldn’t sleep. Even the gentle humming of the ship wasn’t enough to ease her mind so she could drift off for a few hours rest. Instead she found herself lying awake, mind thinking far too much to let her relax. 

So she decided to seek out the only other being on the ship that would still be awake. 

She finds him in the hull, bent over some project on the floor. She carefully approaches him, sinking to the floor near him, leaning against the worktable. 

“What are you doing up?” He asks, glancing at her before looking back to what he was working on. 

“Couldn’t sleep.” She says, pulling her knees to her chest. “What are you working on?” 

“Your new armor.” He says, holding up a piece of white plastoid. “I picked up a few pieces when we were on Kamino. Thought I’d try repurposing them.” 

She stares between him and the plastoid for a moment. “That didn’t...come off someone who died, did it?” 

He shakes his head, the corners of his lips lifting in a smile. “No. It’s training armor. It’s what young clones wear when we start combat training. It’s not as heavy as our combat armor, but better than that foam composite civilians wear. It won’t make you blaster proof, but it will protect against small hits, debris, shrapnel.” 

Midnight rubs her sore shoulder where she’d gotten hit by a droid just a few hours ago. “That’s good. Getting punched by a droid wasn’t something I expected to put on my list.”

“You did hit it first with your blaster.” 

“Well, it was the only thing I could think of in that moment. It’s not my fault my blaster jammed.” She rubs her hands over her cheeks. “I’m just glad it didn’t land that punch to my face.” 

“I can reconstruct armor. Faces, I’m less confident in doing.” 

Midnight stifles her giggle behind her hand. Tech could be surprisingly funny, she found. She had gotten in the habit of halfway listening to him when he babbled, but occasionally he pulled out some quick wit, sometimes even a joke. 

“The fit is going to be the biggest issue.” He says, holding up the chest piece. “Since we can’t have it shaped specially for you.” Tech adjusts his goggles, speaking more to himself. “I could attempt to reshape the plastoid, though I don’t want to risk the integrity of it.” He picks up his datapad, flipping through a diagram. “I was thinking of modeling it more after Mandalorian armor. That way it will be more comfortable for you, while still upholding its integrity.” 

Midnight looks down at her chest. “My boobs thank you.” 

He stares at her for a moment before he pushes the pieces of armor away from him to clear a spot. “Come here. It’ll be easier for me to do this with you sitting here than just going off your measurements.” 

“My measurements?” Midnight asks, pausing for a moment in her crawl closer to him. 

“In your GAR file from when they gave you your civilian armor.” Tech explains, moving her so she’s kneeling in front of him. 

Midnight stares at him. “How detailed is that file?” 

“Very.” Tech says, slipping the chestplate over her head. “Hunter and I are the only ones that bothered to read it. Hunter only skimmed the important parts. It was a fascinating read. Far more interesting than any of ours.” 

Midnight blinks at him. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about that.” 

“It was nothing bad.” Tech says, putting his hands on her waist. “Sit up straight. Arms out.” She lifts her arms out to the side. “Though your test scores were a bit concerning.” 

Midnight shrugs. “The file wasn’t lying when it said I had no formal education. Couldn’t afford it.” 

“You’re still very knowledgeable.” Tech says, pressing the chest plate against her, marking the plastoid. 

“Like most things I learned through experience.” 

“But there’s a certain intellect required to be able to learn through experience.” Tech says, removing the chest plate. 

Midnight stares at him for a moment, his eyes downcast, looking at the chest plate and his markings. She leans forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks, Tech.” 

The youthful clone looks up at her, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You shouldn’t sell yourself short because you’re not like us. We were engineered this way. We were trained to best use our skills. This is our only purpose.” 

Midnight shifts off her knees, sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Tech, what do you think will happen when the war’s over?” 

“Well, that depends,” He starts, going back to fiddling with the plastoid. “On who wins. If the Republic wins, I doubt the fighting will end right away. Likely there will still be Separatist aligned planets that will offer resistance. Likely the Republic will continue to use clones to settle the rebellions. If the Separatists win, I don’t think they would wipe out the entire GAR. Civilians like you would probably be integrated into their own army, or simply have your contracts absolved.” He’s quiet for a moment. “They may integrate the younger clones as well, those who are still being trained and developed.” 

“And the rest of you? Those who are already fighting for the GAR?” 

Tech looks up at her. “I don’t think all of us could be convinced to integrate into the Separatist forces. If the Separatists win, there’s still going to be those who continue to fight, those who resist. I think a lot of clones would continue to fight, even if the Republic fell.” His eyes scan her face. “You’ve been thinking about this a lot.” 

She nods. “Especially recently. I mean, it’s been almost eight months. The war won’t last forever. I know it won’t. I’m not worried about what will happen to me after. I’m a civilian. I’ll either continue working for the GAR or make a new life somewhere else. I know this is partly why they warned us not to get close, why they enforce those rules so heavily. I worry about what will happen to all of you when the war’s over, no matter what side wins. I-I mean, I love all of you. I know it hasn’t been long since we started this arrangement, but it’s how I feel, and the thought of losing all of you scares me. This is the first time I’ve felt safe, like someone cared about me. That someone would look for me if I disappeared. I don’t want to go back to the way things were before, not now that I know how different they can be-” 

Midnight’s rant is silenced by Tech’s lips on hers. She’s surprised, her brain short-circuiting a bit at the feel of his soft lips. 

“Judging by your physical symptoms, you were getting stressed.” He murmurs against her lips, kissing her again. “Stress raises your blood pressure.” He pulls her closer, kissing her again. “Kissing dilates your blood vessels.” He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling them so they’re almost chest of chest. “Lowering blood pressure.” 

Midnight hums against his lips, snaking her arms around his neck. “Tech, you’re a nerd.” She kisses him again. “But you’re my nerd.” 

*****

“Kriffing-fuck!” Midnight breathes, inhaling sharply. She curses everything she possibly can think of silently in her head. The dim light in the hallway of the ship had betrayed her once again, causing her to stub her toe in the doorway. 

“Night?” Hunter murmurs, sticking his head out of his bunk. 

Midnight sighs, rubbing her sore toe. “Sorry, Hunter.” She murmurs, making her way over to the bunks. She carefully stands on the edge of Wrecker’s bunk, the large clone pressed up against the wall. “The doorway attacked me.” 

He hums, reaching out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “C’mere.” He scoots himself back, making room for her. 

Midnight crawls up into his bunk, laying herself next to him. He wraps an arm around her, holding her close. She tucks her head against his chest, breathing him in. He smells as he usually does, like he hasn’t showered in two missions, which was more than likely the case. 

“You’re worried.” He murmurs, lips brushing her forehead. 

“You heard.” She breathes, pressing her face against his chest. 

“You don’t have to worry, cyare.” He says, rubbing her back. “We’ll figure it out when the war ends. You know I’ll fight to keep you with us. Even if we have to go on the run. Nothing’s going to happen to us. You’re not going to have to go back to what you were before. We’ll always be with you. No matter what.” 

“Thanks, Hunter.” She whispers, wrapping an arm around him. 

She lays with him until the ship shudders its way out of hyperspace. She sighs, wishing she had more time to just lay with Hunter. She wished she had more time to just lay low with all of them. But they were still fighting a war. 

Midnight climbs down from Hunter’s bunk, making her way to her own to start getting ready. Off to fight another battle, off to risk their lives once again for the Republic. 

****

“How does it feel?” Tech asks, adjusting the plastoid once more. 

“Heavy.” 

“You’ll have to get used to that.” Tech says. “I installed magnets in your flight suit so the armor will be secure and won’t risk shifting.” 

“You also painted it.” She says, running a finger down the red line in the center of her chest. 

“Of course.” He almost looks offended. “Can’t have you walking around looking like a shiny reg.” 

Midnight smiles. “Thanks, Tech.” 

“We should see about getting you a helmet, or at least some sort of head protection.” He looks her over, adjusting his goggles. 

“You’ve done more than enough, Tech.” She says. “Like you said, it’s better than before.” 

“Come on.” Tech says, tucking his helmet under his arm. “Let’s go show the others.” 

Midnight follows him down the ramp, the others waiting outside the ship. They all go quiet when they see her, Midnight stepping closer, holding out her arms. “So, what do you think?” 

They stare at her in silence, all of them looking surprised. 

“You look...” Hunter starts, staring at her open-mouthed. 

“Hot.” Wrecker finishes for him, looking her over with a smirk on his face. 

Midnight flushes a bit, suddenly aware that five men were all looking at her with varying degrees of surprise and now desire. Except Crosshair. He had his usual scowl on his face as he stared at her, but she can see the clench in his jaw, the way he was holding that toothpick just a bit tighter between his teeth. 

“It looks good.” Echo says, running a gloved finger over the freshly painted pauldron on her shoulder. 

“Thanks. I feel safer.” 

“You look safer.” Hunter says, looking her over, less with desire and more with approval of her new armor. 

“I repurposed old training armor.” Tech says. “It’s more sturdy than the civilian armor.” 

“How do you feel?” Hunter asks. 

“Heavy.” She answers truthfully. “But I’ll get used to it.” 

Hunter holds out a rifle. “I want you to take point with Cross today.” 

She stares at the rifle. “You know sharpshooting was my worst combat score.” 

“Now’s the best time to learn. This will be a quick in and out mission. I don’t want to risk you having your abilities hindered while getting used to new armor. If anything, you’ll be more useful from a distance.” 

“Okay.” She says hesitantly, taking the rifle. “You know you’re just giving Cross more fuel to make fun of me, right?” 

“Yeah. It’ll give the rest of us a break.” 

Midnight stares at Hunter’s retreating back with her mouth open in shock. Had he really just said that? Crosshair steps up beside her, looking down at her. “You gonna stand there and gape all day? Let’s get moving, little girl.” 

Midnight closes her mouth into a pout. “This is a bad idea.” She says, following after the sharpshooter. 

“It’s a good learning experience.” Crosshair says. “Besides, you did say you learn from experiences.” 

Midnight stares at his back. “Did everyone hear that conversation?” 

She picks up the pace, already feeling the burn in her muscles from the added weight of her new armor. It was worth it though, if she could avoid those annoying little wounds from debris and shrapnel she always found herself riddled with after hard missions. She’s also silently grateful Hunter had her taking point today. She didn’t think she’d last long in a fight, not while wearing her new armor. She’d have to do some practicing. Wear it a lot to get used to its weight. 

It was definitely worth it. 

They reach the ridge overlooking the town quickly, Midnight dropping down on one knee as she looks over the edge. “That’s really far.” 

“So don’t fall.” Crosshair quips as he carefully sets up his rifle. 

Midnight makes a face before scooting back, copying his movements, trying to remember as much of her sniper training as she could. It had only been half a day spent on instruction, as it was just expected that clones would be the ones handling things like sharpshooting. 

Crosshair scoffs quietly next to her as she settles into position, his helmet likely the only reason she heard it. “No wonder you can’t shoot. Your form is wrong.” 

She looks up at him, staring at his helmet. “What do you mean?” 

He crawls over her, straddling her waist. His weight is heavy with his armor, pressing her further into the dirt. He pulls the rifle to the side, shifting her around a bit. “Don’t lay on the rifle. You need to be able to maneuver it. If you even breathe wrong while laying on it, you’ll miss your shot.” He moves her shoulders, pushing more of her weight to the side. “Keep your weight on your opposite arm, not your trigger hand.” He makes a couple more minor adjustments before sitting up straight, letting his hand drift down her spine. “There.” 

That last touch was definitely on purpose, she thinks. The position feels awkward with the plastoid digging into her. “This feels weird.” 

“I quite like this position.” Crosshair murmurs, leaning his body over hers. 

She turns to look at him, not quite able to see his helmet through her peripheral. “Well, the sooner we get this mission over with, the sooner we can do some more practice.” 

She doesn't have to see his face to know he’s smirking behind his helmet. 

“Are you two finished, yet?” Hunter’s gruff voice comes through their comms. 

“Finished and in position.” Crosshair answers, shifting off her to situate himself next to her, but not without passing a hand over her ass in the process. 

That was one thing she had learned about him in the short time since he’d joined in their arrangement. Crosshair was an ass man. Every chance he could, he’d pass a hand, sneak a squeeze. Wrecker also loved her ass, but was less subtle about it. 

“Good. If this goes well, we may get in and out without a firefight.” 

“Unlikely.” Midnight breathes, watching through her scope. They didn’t get sent on missions that weren’t firefights. That was their whole point. 

She was right, of course. She lets out a sigh, taking aim as the first hut opens, droids stepping out. It would always be a firefight for them. Always. 

****

Midnight all but limps back to the Marauder. The armor truly felt heavy now, even though she had spent most of the day laying still and firing a rifle. The mission hadn’t taken very long. There had been less droids than she’d expected, giving Tech ample time to shut down their command center. Hunter had been right, she had been more useful from a distance, as her and Crosshair had taken out the most droids. Well, Crosshair had. She had hit a few. Moving targets and ones standing still were very different. She was not great at hitting either from a distance. 

“Taking your time, little girl.” Crosshair says, having stopped to look back at her. 

“I’m moving as fast as I can.” She pouts, not making a point to walk any faster. “This armor’s heavy.” 

Crosshair slaps a hand down on her shoulder as she reaches him, nearly making her knees buckle. “If it keeps you safe...” 

He doesn’t finish the statement, but it makes her turn to look at him in surprise. “Are you saying you were worried about me?” 

Crosshair keeps his head forward, refusing to look at her. “No.” 

“You were worried!” She grins, taking his hand. “You worry about me!” 

He turns on her, grabbing her chin in his hand. “Of course I do.” His words come out harsh, shocking her for a moment. “You’re reckless, you make dumb decisions, and you shoot as well as a droid.” 

Midnight stares up at him with wide eyes. His words did bite a bit, but she was used to it. He was always a bit callous with his affection. 

“Someone has to keep you alive.” 

She stares up at his helmet for a moment before a wide grin forms on her face. “You do care about me!” 

He releases her, shaking his head with a sigh. He continues back towards the ship, leaving her behind, but she knows he’s watching. The others are already on the ship when she finally returns, though the walk hadn’t been all that long, dragging herself up the ramp. She slumps against the wall, taking a breath. She was soaked in sweat and sore and ready for a nap. 

“Wrecker!” She calls out, listening to the familiar thud of the big clone’s footsteps grow closer. 

“Yes?” He asks with a grin on his face. 

She holds her arms up, pouting. “Carry me?” 

He laughs, scooping her up into his arms easily. She huffs out a breath, leaning her head on his shoulder. She would give anything to have super strength right now. 

He carries her to her bunk, setting her gently on her bed. He offers to help remove the armor but she waves him off to go rest, working on getting it off herself. She lets each piece drop to the floor, muscles practically sighing in relief as the weight is taken, quite literally, off her shoulders. 

She makes a face when the last piece hits the floor. Her flight suit is damp with sweat from the exertion of carrying the added weight. She needed a shower. Badly. She strips out of her flight suit, leaving her in just her undershirt and panties. She grabs her towel before sneaking off down the hall to the fresher. 

Tech had taken her suggestion seriously and updated the fresher a bit so they actually had a shower. It used recycled water and always left you smelling a bit metallic afterwards but she couldn’t complain. 

Now if she could convince the guys to use it regularly...

She strips out of her undershirt, bra, and panties, starting the water. Tech could have just put in a sonic shower, but she was glad he had chosen to have actual water. Nothing quite compared to an actual shower after a hard battle. 

She climbs under the lukewarm spray, letting herself relax. She’d be sore tomorrow, though thankfully they didn’t have a next assignment yet. She’d have time to rest and practice carrying around her armor so she could get used to it faster. 

She washes her hair, missing the sound of the fresher door opening. She turns to rinse her hair under the spray, shrieking as she finds Crosshair standing behind her. 

“Kriffing-fuck Cross!” She puts a hand on her chest, trying to still her racing heart. 

“Good thing I’m not here to kill you.” He smirks. 

She shakes her head, slapping his bare chest. “You scared the shit out of me.” 

“Sorry, mesh’la.” He hums, wrapping his arms around her. “But you did promise we’d do some practicing later.” 

She gives him a look, lifting her arms to wash the soap out of her hair. “It’s gonna be a little hard to do that in the shower.” 

His smirk deepens, his face leaning down closer to hers. “Oh I don’t just plan to practice in the shower. I’m gonna fuck you so hard you can’t walk tomorrow.” 

She smirks back at him. “Well you won’t have to try very hard. My legs are already jelly from packing that armor around.” 

She goes to wrap her arms around his neck but he’s already spinning her, plastering her against the wall. His fingers trail down her spine, along the curve of her back. She presses her cheek against the cool metal of the shower wall, letting him spread her legs. His hands cup her ass, squeezing each cheek for a moment. 

He presses his body up against hers, one of his hands slipping around the front to tease along her slit. “Already wet for me?” He murmurs in her ear. 

“We are in the shower.” She quips back, trying to look up at him. 

He immediately shoves two fingers into her, making her lift onto her toes at the sudden intrusion. “Cut the attitude, civvy. I am higher rank than you.” 

She swallows the moan rising up in her. “Sorry, sir.” 

He hums, brushing his thumb over her clit. “Good girl. You remember the safeword?” 

“Rifle.” She breathes, shuddering as he passes over her clit again. 

“Good.” He presses his face against her neck, finally starting to move his fingers. 

She braces her hands against the wall, pushing her hips back against him. He’s hard, pressing against her lower back. She grinds her hips against his hand, desperately seeking release. 

“You’re awfully needy, girl.” He growls into her ear. “My vod not doing their jobs properly?” 

She whines, legs trembling as he assaults her clit. It wasn’t that the others weren’t fucking her well, it was more that they had been so busy recently, they hadn’t had much time to fuck. She had gone far longer than she had in a while without being touched. 

“Need...need to cum.” She gasps, hurtling quickly towards her first orgasm. 

“You think you deserve to cum?” He says, pressing harder against her clit. 

“Please!” She cries, clenching around his fingers. “Please, sir!” 

He smirks. “I love it when you beg.”

He pushes his fingers against the soft spot inside of her, throwing her over the edge into her orgasm. She shakes against him, moaning out his name. He works her through her orgasm, holding her steady. 

He kisses along her shoulder, slipping his fingers from her pussy. He shuts the water off, helping her out of the shower. He tosses her towel at her and she dries off, wrapping it around herself before heading back to her bunk. Crosshair joins her moments later, his towel slung around his waist. 

She finishes drying her hair, taking in his lean figure. Despite being clones, they were all so different. Regs were all built the same. She’d spent enough time on Kamino she knew just how similar the regs were in looks, shape, and size. Her boys, though they shared the same face, were all so different. 

Crosshair steps up so they’re almost breathing the same air. They likely would be if she were taller. Crosshair, Tech, and Wrecker all towered over her. Echo and Hunter were tall to her, but the other three were practically giants. 

Crosshair grips her chin, tilting her face up. He kisses her softly, shockingly delicate for him. He always surprised her. He was usually callous and hard, but sometimes he had his moments. Usually only where she could see. 

He quickly spins her around, delivering a sharp slap to her bare ass. “On the bed.” 

She doesn't have to be told twice, already starting to get wet again. She lays herself on the bed on her stomach, mirroring her position earlier. It was his favorite position. Hunter and Wrecker liked her on her back where they could stare at her face. Tech liked trying new positions, always researching different things to try, but she knows he also likes positions where he can see her. Always analyzing, always learning. Crosshair always took her from behind. Bent her over, laid her on her stomach. It had never really been a favorite position of hers, at least until Crosshair. 

She feels the bed dip a bit, Crosshair kneeling between her spread legs. His fingers trail up her legs, making her shiver in anticipation. His hands knead her ass once more, before he’s spreading her lips to look at her glistening pussy. Crosshair had this uncanny ability to make her wet just from simple touches. 

She can practically feel his smirk, turning her upper body so she can see him. “Well? You gonna stare at me, or fuck me till I can’t walk?” 

He grabs a fistful of her hair, forcing her head down on her pillow. “Quite the mouth on you today. I think you need to be punished.” He grinds his hard length against her ass. “You don’t get to cum until I tell you.” 

Midnight shivers, already knowing her resolve is going to be weak. She wants, no, needs Crosshair and she’s not sure how long she can hold out. 

“Do you understand me?” He growls in her ear, tugging her back into an arch by her hair. 

“Yes, sir.” She whines, hands fisting her sheets in preparation. 

Crosshair sinks into her slowly, splitting her open around him as he settles himself against her. He releases her hair, letting her head fall back onto the bed. She bites at her pillow as he slowly drags himself out of her again, just to the tip. A muffled moan is torn from her lips as he snaps his hips back into hers, hard enough the bunk creaks. 

“Don’t.” He says, tugging the pillow out from under her. “I wanna hear you.” 

Sorry, Hunter, she thinks briefly, just before a loud moan is torn from her lips as he picks up a steady, hard pace. His hips snap into her so hard her body is rocked with every thrust. He keeps the brutal pace, knowing exactly what buttons to push to send her hurtling towards the edge. 

“Cross...” She moans, eyes rolling back as he drags along that spot inside her. “Please!” 

“No.” He grunts, slipping a hand under her. 

She all but cries as his fingers find her clit, the slam of his hips pressing it against the rough pads of his fingers. She arches her hips up, trying to avoid his hand but he presses her back down, forcing her clit against his fingers. 

“Cross!” She cries, hands fisting the sheets so tight she’s scared they might rip. How was she going to explain that one to the GAR? “Please, Cross, I can’t!” 

“You think you deserve to cum?” He taunts, breathing heavy from the exertion. “You think you deserve release with that attitude you’ve had all day?” 

She whines, trying to think of anything she can to ignore the sensations happening between her legs. Her old neighbor on Coruscant, the smell of the Marauder after a mission, the Kaminoans. Anything. “Please, sir!” She begs, sobbing. “Please, can I cum?” 

He hums, pressing his body against her back. “You do beg so beautifully.” He leans his head against hers, his breath puffing out against her ear. “You want to cum?” 

“Please!” She sobs, shaking from the pleasure and exertion of holding it in. “Please, please! Let me cum!” 

He continues to thrust into her, silent for a few moments before he finally takes pity on her. “Cum for me.” 

She lets go, the pleasure nearly blinding as her eyes roll back, back arching into the bed. Her legs are shaking, whole body spasming from the pleasure rushing through her. His fingers continue to circle her clit, working her through her orgasm. 

He stills his hips, letting her flutter around him until she’s nothing more than a trembling mess. He wasn’t done with her, not even close, but he can’t help but admire how beautiful she looked when she came undone around him. Kriff, he could watch that over and over. 

And he planned to. 

Taglist: 

@lo0nylexi​, @amyroswell​

#the bad batch #the bad batch fic #the bad batch x reader #crosshair x reader #tbb x reader #star wars #star wars fic #clones

[definitelynotshouting]

(The explanation I spared you before.) Okay so I've been drawing art, right? and I keep struggling with backgrounds. It suddenly occurred to me, oh hey, I have a game where I can make something similar-ish to the scenes I picture in my head, and then I can use screenshots as a reference! (I think the reason I started with trying to do Hunger AU is because it's in a small space with a lot of environmental storytelling?) But yeah funny thing is, when you try to recreate something in the Sims 4, all of a sudden you realize all the bits of the floor layout that you don't know. Figured you wouldn't mind me poking you about it. Wasn't expecting you to already have a diagram, though! 'Twas a nice surprise.

Some very quick screenshots just from me really quickly throwing together a quick build in the Sims 4:

I'm probably going to change stuff to get the details better, but it's getting late now and I have actual Productive Adult things that need to be done before I can go to bed guilt free.

Also, fun fact, the next Hunger AU fanart's background is now confirmed completely wrong, but, oh well. XD

(Also to any keen-eyed Sims 4 fans who see this, yes, there is one (1) piece of CC in these screenshots, and it's from Ravasheen's Filthy Fabulous set. Vanilla Sims 4 doesn't have small coffee tables and it fits the vibe imo.)

WHOAAAA HELLO THESE ARE SO COOL??? ALSO HOLY SHIT THE DEDICATION..... THIS IS AMAZING OMG THE BASEMENT LOOKS PERFECT IM GOING NUTS

The vibes of these are SO GOOD im fucking speechless like HELLO....... im glad i was able to provide a floorplan for you WKDNWNSJSJSJ hopefully that will make your life easier 😂😂😂😂😂 i absolutely do not mind you poking me about it at all!!!

O7 TO YOUR PRODUCTIVE ADULT THINGS, I HOPE YOU GET TO BREEZE THROUGH THEM!!!!! :D this is so incredible, thank you for sharing!!!

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #OUGGHHHH THATS SO GOOD....... LITERALLY CANNOT STOP LOOKING AT THESE IM OBSESSED #also 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 MORE ART...... WAUGH /POS #going to vibrate in my seat at speeds that shatter glass now (pls take your time and dont feel obligated im just excited now KSXNJSNSN) #txt

[pazodetrasalba]

Intersections

Dear Caroline:

I always find these Venn diagram intersections of yours witty and entertaining, even if in this one you gave me a run for my money to fully understand it. The finance part was rather easy after a quick online search in the Investopedia for the technical meanings of alpha and beta, and the context and your high-risk assumption character trait did the rest. It seems this aspect of you didn't change much, or rather, skyrocketed, in the Alameda years, where your Gambling for the Greater Good mentality seems to have contributed to the massive nuclear fall-out of last November.

The redpill part, paradoxically, took me much longer to decipher, and to decide if it was an intellectually pleasing juxtaposition. I say paradoxical because even though I am well aware of the conventional meanings of alpha and beta in such a context, they seemed to be orthogonal to their economic counterparts. Basically, I saw two options:

-The literal one: so here I assume that in 2016 (perhaps the old, still somewhat trad and very insecure Caroline you rail against in later posts) you were still in the 'I date men I am not into that much because of low self-esteem' and that is why you were happy to settle for 'beta'. The problem with this interpretation is that choosing this type doesn't seem to match the 'high risk' implications of the economic meaning (rather, the opposite, and that weakens the parallelism).

-The devious one: where what I presume is that what you mean by the concept of 'beta' is just that the men you were fishing for weren't the conventional alphas, bur rather what would have counted as alphas within the nerdosphere world, and which you so aptly describe in your list of 'cute boy things': aggressively intelligent and successful, nerdy geniuses, easily capable of achieving worldly success, riches and beautiful women but utterly disdainful of all of these, and committed to higher callings you shared. The issue with this reading is that in early 2016 I think you still didn't know of Sam, but it definitely matches your ambitious nature in all things, and your expressed virtual crushes for similar figures in your blog.

I also find quite funny your snarky, Olympian, slightly snobbish and casual reference to "age, high expected future earnings, and intention to give a large percentage of my income to charity". It reads like the beginning a postmodern take on Jane Austen's Emma.

Quote:

Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her.

Jane Austen

#caroline ellison #economics and love

[whump-whump-baby]

So your Fictional Universe has Horses in it

Alternatively: People Ride Horses in Your Fic, and you’re Not Sure What to Do About It

horse rider/owner and baby writer here, throwing you an infodump that will maybe help with the whole ‘There’s a Horse in the Background here but I Don’t Know What to Do With it’ thing I sometimes see in writing!

Inside this infodump: Horse riding, horse care, horse tack (equipment), falling off a horse (and what usually gets injured), horse lingo, and behaviour.

1. Tame that beast (aka, riding the horse)

a couple things here: Getting on the horse, getting off, steering, etc

Honestly, I’m only including this part because I find that a lot of people skip past the whole ‘getting on the horse’ bit and I find it hilarious. It’s not a weird thing but it can be weird to describe. I get it!

Getting On

Experienced riders will always mount from the left side of the horse. It's a weird tradition that doesn’t really make sense anymore, but it’s still followed because most don’t really see a reason to change it. It supposedly dates back to medieval times and has something to do with where a sword would traditionally be hung on a person’s hip- mounting (Putting your foot in the stirrup, grabbing up high on the saddle, pulling yourself up and over while using your foot in the stirrup to help yourself) from the left means you wouldn’t accidentally poke your horse with your sheath. Not sure if this story has any validity to it, but we all still follow the left rule unless we’re specifically getting a horse used to mounting from the other side for whatever reason.

Getting off

I have a bone to pick with this. Nobody gets off their horse by swinging a leg in front of themselves, over the horse’s neck in front of them, and hopping down facing away from their horse. It’s not the safest bet to attempt because 1. It actually requires a lot of hip strength to swing your leg like that without kicking your poor horse in the neck, and 2. It doesn’t give you a legitimate way to hold onto your horse after dismounting, which is inherently unsafe. Even if you are in possession of The World’s Best Behaved Horse Ever, you always want to be holding onto the reins. Riders usually dismount by leaning forward, swinging a leg behind them and over the horse’s butt, pivoting sideways on their stomach, and sliding down off the horse- keeping a hand on the rein and one on the saddle to slow their descent. That way you always have a hand on your wild beast, who may decide at any given time that the nearby grass is more important than standing still for your dismount. Plus, swinging a leg like that is basically impossible in saddles that feature a saddle horn, like a western saddle.

It’s a little hard to see in this photo, but Geralt’s saddle definitely has some kind of high pommel to it- so he’d most likely dismount the normal way. It’s just easier!

If you tried to dismount like that in this western saddle you would definitely bruise something.

In this saddle (a Dressage saddle) you could probably pull it off.. but why?? All that struggle just to slide down on your butt and land funny, sprawled away from your horse. It’s just not worth it.

Steering and Etc.

Believe it or not, most steering movement actually comes from the rider’s weight in the saddle than their grip on the reins. If we’re looking at this from the realm of something like The Witcher (which is probably going to be my go-to media example because it’s still pretty recent) a relaxed turn is going to look like Geralt isn’t doing too much with his upper body, because he’d be weighting his seat bones in the saddle. Despite his saddle looking a little bulky, Roach could definitely feel it and respond accordingly- horses are pretty sensitive little friends and can feel most of what you’re doing up there, including looking down. (Protip, if you’re learning to ride horses, don’t look down- it’ll unbalance your upper body and make you pitch forward, unbalancing your horse and making yourself more likely to fall off)

A good way to have a character look experienced with riding is to describe someone relaxed but upright, shoulders back, hands closed but relaxed on the reins. They don’t have to be bolt upright, but at ease. A good way to describe a character with little to no riding experience would be to describe them as tense, probably hunching forward a little; hands too high or low and reins too long. See the lovely photos below:

A Dressage rider: she’s looking pretty evenly balanced, is sitting tall but not bolt upright, hands are low, elbows relaxed. Wonderful!

A Beginner: Absolutely no hate to beginners! We all have to start somewhere, But there’s definitely a difference in body language between this rider and our dressage rider. (Side note: PLEASE always wear a helmet on a horse, especially if you’re a beginner, good grief)

2. Horse Care

I don’t think too much needs to be said here, but there’s a couple things that are worth noting.

Grooming

Most horses love a good brushing. They’ll even lean into it if you find an itchy spot!

 If your character has a ton of experience, grooming their horse makes a lovely backdrop for conversations. Riders usually brush their horses before and after riding, to remove dirt and mud and sweat. Manes and tails are brushed if you want to be detail oriented, and feet should always be picked out (A good chance for Character B to oogle Character A’s butt, if thats the kind of story you’re writing) to remove dirt and stones. 

When Not Riding

Your furry partner-in-crime should be untacked and eating grass somewhere. Untacked means all gear removed and put away for the day- in stories like The Witcher, tied to a tree branch or a rest area in a halter is fine. As a horse person it wouldn’t make sense to leave their tack on all night- you’d leave it nearby, but not on them. If your characters are just pausing for a break or something, it’s totally ok- but done for the day? Nah. Let your pony be naked.

Injuries

Horses, like most prey animals, will hide injuries and illness until they physically can’t anymore. Small cuts and scrapes, dependent on where they are, will probably not give a physical response unless you manipulate them somehow (cleaning, applying antibiotics, etc). A horse may show discomfort by a number of signs, but if it really hurts your horse will probably shy away from your touch or may lash out at your hands to keep you from touching it. Signs of discomfort can be pinning their ears back against their head (aka Ow Ow OW, DON’T TOUCH IT, I’m UPSET) to straight up trying to run from you if they think you’re going to attempt to touch it (a more severe reaction for a more severe wound, like a deep cut/laceration/puncture etc). If a horse is in very dire straits you might get no reaction at all- your horse might be hanging its head low, not really responding to your voice or touch, appearing bleary eyed or dull eyed or sleepy. Generally that kind of severe behavior change is considered Very Very Bad and definitely grounds to call a vet for, especially if there’s no sign of physical injury.

3. Horse Tack (Equipment!)

Here’s a quick rundown of horse tack.

All these pieces make up the bridle, reins included.

*Side note- Bits are not cruel, and riders choosing to use them with their horses are not abusive. Bits are a tool riders use to communicate with their horses and there are hundreds of metal finishes, textures, shapes and sizes to fit a horse with a bit that makes them happy and keeps them comfortable. There are some horses who refuse to take bits, and their owners usually turn to a bitless bridle to keep them comfortable- however this is not “kinder” just because of the lack of bit. These bridles are just designed to exert gentle pressure to tell the horse to slow or stop instead of the gentle pressure on the bit. Different horses prefer different things, and none of these things are harmful to the horse if used properly and with care.

This is a diagram of a close contact or Hunter saddle, but the terminology generally applies to all different kinds of saddles. Girths are considered their own piece of tack and not as a part of the saddle. 

Riders who are riding consistently usually at least wipe their tack down with a wet cloth after finishing with it for the day. Because tack is almost always leather, well cared for leather lasts a lot longer if cared for. This is also a great thing to have a character talk over in a fic- have them clean tack while having a hard conversation, or maybe show how quick and not-great of a job they do on their tack if they’re angry or trying to get away from another character closeby. Lots of opportunities! (If you really want to get detailed, cleaning usually looks like: a damp cloth to wipe dirt off and then rubbing a leather conditioner into the tack, which may smell lovely or a little weird depending on the brand)

4. Falling off

I see you, whump writers. (and I love you.)

So You Want your Character to Fall Off:

Falling off is rarely graceful. It can be caused by anything from an unexpected trip to your horse spooking at something, to a jump taken at the wrong spot/speed/angle... opportunities are endless. I have fallen off my horse at the walk because he startled at a dog and I slipped to the side, and I have fallen off over jumps, because my horse actively tried to get me off, or because I just wasn’t paying attention and Oops, how’d I get in the dirt? Generally if you’re looking for a reason for your character to fall off, they are endless. If the one at fault is the horse common reasons are the rider becoming unseated and slipping back/forward/sideways by the horse startling (at legitimately anything sometimes, depending on the horse.. let your imagination go wild!) changing speed or direction suddenly. All of these things will affect how your character comes off and how they’ll hit dirt with what body part. IE- pitching forward will probably land you on the top of your shoulders, if you’re lucky- if not, you’ll land on your head. Most people will land on the tops of their shoulders as the instinct to protect their head kicks in, but sometimes gravity is a bitch. It happens.

This is where experience comes in, too- Experienced riders will usually react quicker and will try to save themselves, either grabbing onto their horse’s mane or neck or even just keeping a death grip on the reins as adrenaline kicks in- all of which keeps your upper body higher than your lower and can lead to landing on your bum/side/feet instead of your head. Beginner or inexperienced riders might not react that quickly and end up landing roughly. This is not to say that more experienced riders will always come out less injured than beginners, but that experienced riders sense of self preservation will kick in faster frankly just because they’ve fallen off more. This is also why you see more beginners breaking arms in riding accidents- as you learn to ride you are taught (if you were taught like I was) to NEVER throw your arms out to catch yourself during a fall- it’s more likely that you will land on top of your straight arm and give yourself a wicked compound break. Your instinct changes from trying to save yourself to trying everything you can to staying in your saddle. Self preservation is a wonderful thing!

If Your Character is Sick/Already Injured:

The motion of the horse, even in walk, is going to make them feel worse- especially any injury to the lower stomach area. That’s where the body absorbs most of the motion from the horse’s gaits, especially in the hips/lower abdomen. So if Character A has a stab wound in his stomach and Character B has gotten them into the saddle to bring them to help.... Character A is gonna be in some pretty decent pain until they can dismount. For head injuries the same motion might make them dizzy or nauseous. But, good news! If your character slumps forward completely while keeping their arms on either side of the horse’s neck, they will probably manage to stay in the saddle for a decent amount of time. Their lower body and leg (hopefully still in the stirrups) will keep them in the saddle unless jostled out of it. (This, of course, only making sense if the saddle in question doesn’t have a horn, because otherwise your character won’t be able to slump forward far at all. )If they manage to slip off the horse in this position, they’re going to land head/chest/upper body first, especially if only semi-conscious due to previous injuries. 

If dealing with any other injuries, getting on the horse might be nicer than walking but will definitely not keep anything still- any motion the horse makes will make the rider’s body move and jostle the injury, no matter where the injury is.

5. Wrapping it up: Horse Lingo and Behaviour

Horse terms are easy to find and but a google search away, but here’s some of the main terms:

Gaits: A horse’s movement. Walk, trot, canter and gallop with gallop being the fastest.

Aids: what riders use to communicate with the horse. This includes your hand (on the reins) your leg (squeezing to ask for gaits) and your voice.

(Riders talk to their horses! all the time. Even if just to say good boy/girl. Commonly we say things like hoooh, whoa, easy, no, etc. Sometimes just talking to your nervous horse helps calm them down)

Green horse: Inexperienced horse, usually new to being ridden, usually young.

Mare: Female Horse.

Stallion: Male horse, not neutered. Stallions can have a reputation for being hotheaded and sometimes hard to handle, but not all are like that.

Gelding: Male horse, neutered. Most people who have male horses will refer to them as geldings on paperwork.

Pony: a small horse. Not a baby horse. Just smaller.

Colt: Baby male.

Filly: Baby female.

You can probably use google for anything else without concern that you’re using a term that's unnatural.

Behaviour

My rule of thumb for writing behaviour is this: If it seems like a disney dog in a movie would do it........ it’s safe to say a horse wouldn’t. Writing a horse like a disney dog is too unnatural and will definitely make any horse people reading your story give an eye roll.

An example:

Your character has just dismounted their horse after a long ride.

A horse would: maybe sniff your pockets for treats (especially if you had some before you got on) stand next to you as you talked to someone, try to rub their head on you (scratches!! especially if they’re sweaty) maybe perk up at something in the distance if distracted enough

A horse would not: Shake their head at you, whinny at you, prance around and “smile” at you... roll their eyes at something you said... point like Lassie at something in the distance... etc. 

Horses definitely have personalities! They can be affectionate and snuggly, nervous or brave, flighty or stoic... but they don’t emote the same way a cartoon character would. The best example i’ve seen of horse interaction in media would probably be the horses in Disney’s Brave. If you pay attention to the way horses interact with each other and react to events in the movie, it’s pretty spot on!

Follow your gut. You can still have a horse with a personality, but if it feels too cartoony, it probably is!

This is a great infographic that explains body language as well.

I hope this helps anyone who wants to include more horse interaction in their writing!

#writing #fiction #writeblr #writblr #whump #whumpblr #fanfiction #hopefully tagging this right! #photos are not mine

[hangovercurse]

Midterm Season

You have exams coming up and Colson isn’t happy about it at all

Request: “you should do one where the person is studying and colson is distracting her very fluffy”

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: As someone who has 3 exams in the next 2 weeks, I could use some of this rn

Word count 1242

masterlist

Colson was very proud of you. He loved that his girlfriend was getting a master’s degree. Every chance he got, he’d talk about you and how smart you were and how hard you worked.

But he also hated every minute of it. Because every moment you were studying or at class or working to pay for class, you weren’t spending with him. He especially hated when exams came around, because you wouldn’t come out of your office for basically a whole week.

And guess what time it was. Midterms. By day 3 Colson was basically dying from touch starvation. You had 2 exams on Friday and another the following Tuesday, so to say you were stressed out was an understatement. And Colson’s whining wasn’t helping your mood.

For the fifth time that day he walked into the room, leaning in the door frame. “How’s it going, babe?”

You didn’t even look up at him, too focused on the textbook in front of you. “It’s going, Cols. Just like it was an hour ago.” You didn’t mean to be short with him, but he was really getting on your nerves. If you didn’t pass these exams, you could end up an entire semester behind, which means you would miss the hiring spree that happened after spring graduation. You couldn’t afford any distractions, but that’s all Colson wanted to be.

You didn’t see his shoulders slump at your words. He walked further into the room, flopping onto the futon that laid behind you and pulling out his phone. “Colson, I can’t entertain you right now.” You sighed, flipping between two textbook pages to try and compare diagrams with text.

He frowned, looking up at you. “I just wanna spend time with you. I know you’re busy but I thought I could at least sit in the same room as you.” He mumbled, trying to remind himself that you weren’t mad at him, just the world.

You didn’t respond, just kept taking notes from your book. Colson would occasionally chuckle at something on his phone, and after the fourth time you wanted to take it from him and throw it across the room. “I can’t focus when you’re in here, Colson.” You sighed, angrily. “Seriously, can you get out? I really need to do well on these tests so I need to study.”

“Babe, I’m literally just sitting here.” You stared at him blankly. “So you’re saying that my presence is bothering you?”

“Your words, not mine.” You sighed, turning back to your notes. A part of your brain knew you were being unreasonable, he wasn’t really doing any harm by being there. He just happened to be the only thing nearby you could take your stress out on.

Colson wanted to get mad at you, tell you that you were being cold. But he also knew that he put you through this whenever he had an album deadline, so he understood. So, he swallowed his pride and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your neck. “Colson, what are you doing? I just told you I need to focus.”

He pressed a kiss to the side of your head, “I know, but you’ve been studying for almost 72 hours straight. You need a break.” You rolled your eyes, focusing back on your material. Colson sighed when he realized you were just going to ignore him. “Please take a break? For me?” He pleaded, tilting his head to try and find your eyes, but you were still staring at your textbook.

“Let me finish this chapter, then I’ll take a small break.” You were lying, but you thought if you told him that, then he would leave you alone. It didn’t work.

“Nope.” He mumbled, lips pressing into your hair again. “We’re gonna make dinner together and then you can go back to pretending I don’t exist.” You didn’t acknowledge his words, flipping a page.

He grumbled, moving around to stand on the side of the chair and wrapping an arm around your middle. In an instant he picked you up bridal style, much to your dismay. “Colson, stop.” You tried to push him off of you, but he was much stronger than you. He laughed, walking you out to the kitchen. “Colson, this isn’t funny, put me down.”

He finally set you down on the kitchen counter, his arms wrapping around your middle. You pushed his chest, a frown on your face. “You know I have to work, why are you being so fucking needy?”

He tilted his head, a smile on his face, “you’re really cute when you’re mad, you know?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to push him away from you once again. “I don’t do this when you’re working on music, why can’t you just leave me alone for a few hours?” His smile was only making you more upset. “You’re not even taking this seriously, Cols. This is really important to me and its like you don’t even care. I can’t entertain you every goddamn minute.”

His eyebrows furrowed, getting serious. “Babe, I do care that this is important to you, but I care about your health more. I don’t think I’ve seen you ingest anything that isn’t caffeine or pretzels for three days. You won’t take care of yourself, so I have to. And if that means you getting mad at me, so be it.”

You rolled your eyes, shoulders slumping. “I can take care of myself later. But there won’t be a me to take care of if I don’t pass these classes.”

Colson sighed, hands grabbing yours, “baby, your grades don’t define you. Okay? One bad test isn’t gonna ruin your life. Yeah, it’ll suck, but it’s nothing you can’t overcome.” He kissed your forehead.

You leaned your head against his chest, letting out a defeated sigh. “I just really want to get a good job and I won’t get a good job if I don’t graduate on time. And I won’t graduate on time if I don’t pass these classes and I won’t pass these classes if I don’t study.”

He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Y/N Y/L/N, you are the smartest person I know. Just being in grad school is an accomplishment. On top of that you are an amazing girlfriend, an amazing pseudo-mom, and the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Any employer would be lucky to have you.” Colson tilted your head up with his hand, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. “But you gotta live long enough to get employed, and that’s not gonna happen if coffee rips a hole in your stomach.”

You nodded, a frown still on your face. “I’m sorry I was being so mean earlier.” You grumbled.

Colson chuckled, backing away from you and towards your cupboards, “I’ll forgive you if you make dinner with me. And come to bed before 3am tonight.”

You sighed, hopping off the counter, “I suppose I could sacrifice one night for you.” You walked over to the stovetop, where he was placing a pot on the burner. You wrapped your arms around him, head resting against his back. “I love you.”

He smiled and turned to face you, wrapping his arms around your waist, and picking you up. You giggled and wrapped your legs around his middle, hands clinging to the back of his neck. He pressed quick pecks all over your face, “I love you too.”

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff

[sendme-2hell]

Rating the Books I read after Gideon the Ninth (in order) by how well they made me forget my Gideon the Ninth angst

I starred the ones that I actually recommend if you want something similar to gtn.

I was bored so I made this. Mostly just so I can look back at this and laugh at myself in a few months and remember what I’ve read. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -

**Harrow the Ninth -Tamsyn Muir 

Summary: A depressed girl has to navigate murder attempts by both the mom and the dad of her dead ex-girlfriend who she can’t remember. She tries to make soup and writes fanfic to cope. 

How well it helped me forget: -100/10 but also 10/10 

Rating explanation: This one gets a 10/10 because it did make me feel better about a *particular* GTN plotpoint which I was very angsty about, but tragically it did make me more feral. After reading it I reread both books so I don’t think it helped me forget my angst. 

Similar themes to GTN: all of it, plus more memes 

I Want to Be Where The Normal People Are - Rachel Bloom 

Summary: Rachel Bloom who wrote the world’s most relatable song: “You Stupid Bitch,” and starred/created in Crazy Ex Girlfriend, writes about having anxiety, feeling like she’s not normal, and Harry Potter fanfic.

How well it helped me forget: 8/10

Rating explanation: For a few minutes I actually did forget about my griddlehark angst while I learned more about Bloom’s life and laughed at the painful relatability of it all. 

Similar themes to TLT: ummm depression, feeling very out of place, memes

Fingersmith - Sarah Waters

Summary: The book The Handmaiden was based on. A girl is sent to become a Lady’s handmaiden to con her out of some money. She falls in love. Many plot twists. 

How well it helped me forget: 5/10

Rating explanation: I was sadly still thinking about TLT the whole time I read this. I liked it but I actually like the Handmaiden better because the women spend more time together. Like in this book, I wish that Harrow and Gideon could spend more time together. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, at some point you realize the main character’s love interest understands what’s going on way more than the main character

Kindred - Octavia Butler 

Summary: Very dark book about slave narratives. I cannot make a joke here, but this book is excellent. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10 

Rating explanation: Again, I can’t make a joke. But Octavia Butler is amazing. 

Ash - Malinda Lo 

Summary: A wlw retelling of Cinderella with fairies and an emphasis on stories 

How well it helped me forget:7/10

Rating explanation: This was really quick and fun and I definitely was rooting for the lesbians. Also it was nice it had a happy ending! If you liked Crier’s War (which I did), this was clearly an influence for Nina Varela. 

Similar themes: wlw, the magic one + the fighting one dynamic

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel

Summary: A deadly pandemic wipes out so many people that the world spins into chaos and no one can figure out how to use electricity apparently? But the book is really about fame and wanting to be remembered. Go figure.

How well it helped me forget: -10/10 

Rating explanation: Ok that’s not fair. It helped me forget about Gideon and Harrow but it did NOT help me forget about Corona. It was technically good and a lot of people I respect love it, but either because I was still thinking about TLT or because it was about a pandemic, I couldn’t really enjoy it. 

Similar themes: post-apocalyptic 

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston 

Summary: The Prince of England and The son of the president of the US are enemies. They are definitely enemies.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: This was such a fun read that it almost distracted me! Tragically I was in such TLT headspace that I kept pausing to read fanfics where Gideon and Harrow switch eyes. 

Similar themes: Enemies to lovers, queer

Troubling Love - Elena Ferrante 

Summary: In true Elena Ferrante fashion, an event spurs an Italian woman to do a lot of internal processing and have some flashbacks. 

How well it helped me forget: 7/10

Rating explanation: This book was a bit disturbing so it distracted me in that way. Plus I love Elena Ferrante’s writing so much that it felt like coming home to an old friend. Unfortunately for me, this is Elena Ferrante’s least queer book. I know because I have now read them all. Her most queer book, The Lying Life of Adults, would have distracted me better. Also just using this space to tell anyone who’s still reading this (probably no one) to go read My Brilliant Friend (and the corresponding Neopolitan Novels). They are not similar to TLT except they are vaguely queer and about competitive friendships where the girls are obsessed with each other in maybe an unhealthy way. Ok so a bit similar. Genuinely my favorite books ever. 

Similar themes: mommy issues, daddy issues, childhood trauma

On This Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous -Ocean Vuong

Summary: A Vietnamese immigrant reflects on his mother, grandmother, and his own life experience in the US. It is poetic and beautiful and will make you cry. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This book is beautiful. It really changes how you think about the US. Plus really interesting stuff about the western way of telling stories. Cannot recommend it enough, though very little to do with TLT. 

Similar themes: queer, stuff about language, childhood trauma, you will cry

**The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: OK sorry none of those were good suggestions for what to read after GTN. THIS is what you should read after GTN. It is an incredibly slow burn wlw enemies to lovers. There are dragons, there is magic, there are very cool female characters who I am in love with. This is like Game of Thrones but if it was good, queer, and only one 800 page book. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Enemies to lovers!!!! What more do I have to say? Also very cool world-building, interesting religious themes. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, religious themes, magic, very old wizard milfs, also mlm

*The Traitor Baru Cormorant 

Summary: Baru is a very smart girl in a colonized island. She decides she will play the game of the colonizers, rise up in their society, and destroy them from within. How is that going, Baru? 

How well it helped me forget: 100/10

Rating explanation: This DID make me forget TLT. The only book to truly make me. It made me forget so badly that I wanted my Griddlehark angst BACK. GIVE ME IT BACK I don’t wanna feel sad about Baru anymore. I cannot recommend it more, it is so good, but it did make me ugly cry. It also made me majorly depressed about colonization and the state of the world. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, ending will make you cry

*The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru is depressed, has brain damage, throws up a lot, is sad about (redacted), does some things without remembering them because there’s something going on in her brain. Sound familiar? It’s kinda like Harrow the Ninth but more depressing. Oh also a lot of new characters are introduced, old characters come back, a lot of setup for the next book. Euler’s identity shows up out of nowhere?! 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Again, it made me forget but only because I was so engrossed in this story. Also kinda depressed. This book is kinda depressing. But Baru is very fun to be around, and there are some other great characters. Marry me, Yawa. 

Similar themes: again, this is just harrow the ninth on steroids, I am in love with every single woman in this series

*The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru makes a new bestie, reunites with an old bestie, and discovers a dead bestie in her brain!

How well it helped me forget: 1000/10

Rating explanation: I loved this book. There were a few scenes I reread >four times. This book makes the other books in the series worth it. 

Similar themes: please see my venn diagram comparing tlt, baru, and A memory called empire for more information

*The Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo 

Summary: A girl has seen ghosts her whole life and because of that, gets accepted at Yale even though she didn’t finish high school. Yale is like a hotspot for ghosts I guess. It’s dark academia, the girl has a secret, the narrator is pretty funny.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: I was trying to get distracted from TLT (and Baru at this point), but it’s hard to forget about Harrow and Gideon in a book called The Ninth House (hello?). It was enjoyable and there was some good humor. I’m curious about the next book in the series when it comes out. It is not wlw unless you squint (which I do). 

Similar themes: debatably wlw body posession, nine houses, the ninth one being important, nerd boy who reminds me of pal, woman is revealed to be MUCH older than I originally thought, soul eating, revenants, tombs, necromancy, character named Mercy

The Bone Season - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: It’s the future and London is a hotspot for clairvoyants. Paige is a woman who has a special gift and can jump into people’s bodies and possess them briefly (among other things, this is a terrible explanation). Because of this, she is sent to a secret part of the city where clairvoyants are trained to be monster fighters (but also like, kept there in captivity against their will). Unlike every other book on this list I honestly wouldn’t recommend. I know there are other books in the series. If you’ve read on and it gets better let me know. (I know no one has gotten this far reading this but still)

How well it helped me forget: 4/10

Rating explanation: This one was disappointing because I loved Priory of the Orange Tree so much. This book did not distract me from my griddlehark or barhu feels. There’s also a character named Warden so I thought about SexPal a lot. 

Similar themes: enemies to lovers, ghosts, possession, queer but only background characters 

****The Unspoken Name - A.K. Larkwood 

Summary: A girl is in an isolated cult that wants her to die as a sacrifice (sound familiar?). A definitely not evil wizard helps her escape. She meets a cute necromancer who’s also kinda from a cult. She goes on some gay adventures, gets the help of a morally grey older necromancer (who I’m in love with), and fights with her frenemy. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This is the most similar to TLT on this list. Gideon and Csorwe would be friends. Seriously I recommend this! And the second book comes out soon! And it’s not sad like TLT or Baru! 

Similar themes: sword lesbian + necromancer dynamic, wlw enemies to lovers, cults, tombs, necromancy, character named “the sleeper”, also mlm

The Invisible Life of Addie Larue - V. E. Schwab 

Summary: Adeline Larue made a deal with a demon in 1714 France, because she wanted to see the world and stuff. It backfires of course. She is immortal but no one remembers her. This causes all sorts of problems and makes her very angsty. The narrative flashes between her going through the years, and her falling in love with the only person who will remember her. 

How well it helped me forget: 2/10

Rating explanation: I know people loved this book but I did not. I liked the last 50 pages, I’ll give it that. I wish it was more queer (it was a little queer). 

Similar themes: as I said, a little wlw, immortality, demons, I guess falling in love with someone and them not remembering you now that I think about it 

Sula - Toni Morrison 

Summary: A story about two black women in the 1920’s-1960’s in an Ohio town. It is really great and interesting. It is a book about complicated female friendships (among so many other things that better writers not writing a list no one will read about their TLT feels have outlined) which I love. I was told I should read this after the Neapolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante and it did not disappoint. Same vibes. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This was just a great book. Has really nothing to do with TLT

Similar themes: debatably queer 

*Murderbot Diaries: All Systems Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy, Network Effect,  - Martha Wells

Summary: Muderbot is an artificial construct who just wants to be left alone to watch tv, damnit! It doesn’t want to interact with humans, and it definitely does not want to talk about feelings. Too bad some humans want to become friends with it.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: These books were so good. They did help me forget! The books are really about having anxiety, making friends, and letting yourself have feelings. Also they are SO FUNNY. Highly recommend. In the way that I love Gideon’s POV, I love Murderbot’s POV

Similar themes: funny narrator, queer characters, space, people who don’t want to deal with their feelings being forced to deal with their feelings

*A Memory Called Empire - Arkady Martine 

Summary: Mahit is sent a dangerous, evil empire to be an ambassador. Lots of beautiful writing about colonialism, assimilation, language, and culture.There is gay angst and funny characters. I am once again in love with a morally grey older woman character. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Yes this book is great and did distract me from gtn (mostly. I did end up reading a great fanfic about wake, g1deon, and pyrrah in the middle but otherwise...). It is part of my holy trilogy of wlw books (this, baru, tlt) that I just read recently. The next book comes out on March 2nd so it will be a good distraction from waiting for Alecto. Like Baru, it made me feel like shit about colonialism but unlike the other two books in my trilogy (redacted but if you’ve read those books you know) didn’t happen. It had a not too sad ending. 

Similar themes: see my venn diagram, but seriously what is going on with brain surgery in these books...

*The Luminous Dead - Cailtin Starling 9/10

Summary: A woman needs money and to get the money she goes on a risky cave dive. It turns out the only contact she has with the rest of the world is a woman who’s kinda a dick. It’s 400 pages of creepy cave diving and these two women talking to each other. It’s creepy and uncomfortable and I loved it. I did spend the whole book thinking it would be such a good story podcast.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: It did make me forget about tlt! There are some kinda boring parts but it pays off. The relationship between the two main characters is very interesting (though a bit fucked up). 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, traumatised characters, shitty moms

#book recs #harrow the ninth #gideon the ninth #tlt #the locked tomb trilogy #fingersmith #the priory of the orange tree #the traitor baru cormorant #Baru cormorant #the monster baru cormorant #the tyrant baru cormorant #the murderbot diaries #murderbot #the ninth house #both ninth houses tbh #the unspoken name #a memory called empire #the luminous dead #no one will read this but it is for me! #my rankings

[katy-l-wood]

Hey I can't come up with something more coherent right now but: I think you're really cool! Thank you for sharing so much art and writing, I'm consistently impressed and often inspired by what you make.

Also! Do you have a post anywhere talking in detail about your day job? I don't know if I have the chops to get a spot making museum-quality replicas, but I'd really like to build on my sculpting skills and make more accurate replicas (starting with non-fossilized remains I have, since I can't very well mold/cast something I don't have access to of course). Do you have advice on materials or tools or techniques for making skeletal replicas? And/or any resources you know for learning such things? I don't mean to burden you with large requests, mostly I don't know where to start.

Hm. If that makes sense? I also ask because I'd love to hear about sort of what your trajectory looked like to get to your current job, or any recommendations you may have for people looking to get into similar fields (quite vague, sorry :/ ) and of course, how you like it! Hope you're enjoying life right now!

Sorry for such a long ask! And of course don't feel like you have to address everything (or anything hah), mostly wanted to send in some positivity! Thank you!

Second ask: Oh and of course the weird real estate posts are always funny, so thanks for those as well

Awww, thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my work.

So, everything about my day job is under the tag "Makin' Bones." I've done a few minor things about what it entails, but I'm happy to go into more detail! How I got into it, though, was that I saw a facebook post that they were hiring about a year and a half ago and thought "that sure sounds neat even if this is a kinda sketchy facebook post, I shall apply!" And I did. And I got the job. And now I make replica bones. Do I have a background in Paleontology? No! Do I have a background in molding and casting? No! I literally just followed a weird facebook post into the woods and HERE WE ARE.

Anyways.

Firstly, my business trains from scratch! I can't speak to other fossil replication places, but we're the top fossil replicators in the US so if we can train from scratch I don't see why anyone else couldn't. With that said, there's really not that many places in the US that JUST do fossil replicas. A lot of museums have a department for it, or a few people that happen to know how to do it on top of their main job, but very very few JUST do replicas like we do.

When it comes to physical sculpting we really don't do much except when we get the RARE life model commission (usually of fish, for whatever reason). What we DO do a lot of, however, is digital sculpting. Digital reconstruction is a rapidly growing part of our business. For example, here is a diagram of a mosasaur skull we recently did a digital reconstruction of to remove it from the surrounding stone and reconstruct it into its original shape since it got squished over time:

The original skull was scanned using photogrametry and then the skull was extracted from the matrix and restored using Zbrush. So, if you want to get into the nitty gritty side of reconstructing fossils my advice is: learn Zbrush, learn photogrametry, and learn 3D printing.

Now, onto molding and casting. This is the biggest part of what we do. This process involves taking the original fossil (or a high quality 3D print of it made using the aforementioned techniques) and using high resolution silicone to create a cast of it. This cast is then filled using a two part liquid plastic (some large bones are rotated during this process, creating a plastic shell that is then filled with foam to cut down on weight). One the plastic sets the silicone mold is removed and a dremmel is used to trim off any excess plastic around the seams of the mold. From there the replica is assembled into its final pose on a custom welded metal support structure. Once this structure is complete the fossil is broken back down and painted. Once painting is complete the job is done and it is packed off and shipped to its new home!

So! If you want to get into this part of things I recommend looking into how silicone molding works. It takes a very good eye for forms and how liquids move to be able to make a good mold that fills properly, comes apart easily, and can be easily reuseable. Silicone molding isn't really the best "at home" project, though, as it is SUPER messy, hard to clean up, and you have to wear a respirator to be safe with it. I recommend looking for a local maker space in your area, or a local art group of some sort, just something that has an official space set up for that sort of thing. Barring that, you can also just use play-dough while you're first starting out. Find a bone, get some playdough and some quick set plaster, and just start pressing the playdough into bones, then pouring plaster into the cavity to see how your copies come out.

Other stuff that would be useful to learn: how to use a dremmel, general anatomy/how to recognize different bones, basic paleontology, and basic painting techniques like dry brushing and washes.

Hope this helps! Feel free to send me more asks if you have more questions.

#Makin' Bones #About Me #Long Post

[cotyledonal]

hi iris have you ever listened to weezers green album? personally, i'm a bigger fan of the white album but (i am asked to leave)

what i have for you is two albums. maggot by dazey and the scouts has a bit of a raunchier riot grrl beat but their songs are really fun and hype (i'm a big fan of maggot and groan). both are floral themed songs but somehow do it completely differently.

the second album is I Need To Start a Garden by haley heynderickx. WHERE DO I BEGIN! my favorite songs are Jo (there has never been a more tender and loving and powerful lament. this is what orpheus sang to let eurydice go. also lesbianisms). The second is Untitled God Song (which has defined a lot of my faith and my grapple w it more specifically). oom sha la la is amazing as well, i think you'll like it for reasons we've talked about in the past.

so i offer these to you with a bit of light metal because i can't help myself. sextape by deftones. here's my propaganda! i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed yours (which was a lot!) we have a venn diagram of music tastes so i hope this falls in the middle.

I listened to the Dazey and the Scouts album while eating a couple of hot dogs and I think that might be the ideal listening experience

a v solid album !! I love how balls-to-the-wall insane they’re willing to go lmao. I usually don’t like Funny Music™ bc the song often just. stops in its tracks to deliver the punchline, and it makes me cringe, wail, etc. but they wove it in really well. good for them. good for them

my only gripe is. the MIXING. the lyrics + vocals are so good but they’re so QUIET compared to the instruments,,, tbh that’s the only tell that this is a debut album. otherwise it’s really competent. I don’t fuck w tiktok or official spotify playlists so I probably wouldn’t have heard of them on my own ty 🙏

I HAVE heard of Haley Heynderickx, but I ignored her exclusively bc of the spelling of her last name. you only get one quirky variation in your last name that’s the rule. you can’t have “eyn” AND “derick” AND “x”, you gotta pick ONE!! it Annoys me. yes I’m extremely petty, yes I should be ashamed. I suppose I shall set aside my unfounded bitchiness for the sake of Friendship

anyway I was kind of guaranteed to like this (indie folk? check. complicated relationship w God/your place in the world? check. using nature as both a home and a metaphor? check. a song longer than 7 min? check) so uhhh thanks for the final push? Untitled God Song IS very relatable, we are spinning in a circle about this

I liked Sextape, but I don’t like nu metal/nu metal-adjacent 90s alt overall, so I probably won’t get into Deftones further 😔 sorry

I have So Many artists in my library that are comparable to Haley Heynderickx and that whole vibe which I think you’d love, but for right now (bc I don’t want to drown you in the Deluge of folk music), my only rec is that you listen to more Lady Lamb if you haven’t already. she’s my favorite artist of all time I have to do this I'm legally obligated. quick rundown of her albums:

Ripely Pine--her debut. v lyrics-heavy folk rock with touches of big band. it’s basically the Ultimate Dyke Drama Album, and yes it’s explicitly about a female love interest. the writing is some of the best I’ve ever heard; it’s v visceral in a rambly, poetic kind of way. lots of stuff about devouring-in-a-homosexual-way here

After--^same type of intense folk rock, but with slightly less of a focus on Dyke Drama and more on traveling, self-discovery, what-the-hell-is-happening-ever, well-at-least-I’m-gay. honestly imagine the themes of I Need to Start a Garden but the music is wayyy higher energy. also there’s a song about oral named Penny Licks which I just think is delightful

Tender Warriors Club--oh hey I got my current blog title from the last track on this! it’s a lot more spare with its instrumentation than her other albums, bc it’s. it’s Tender . and also the writing still SLAPS

Even in the Tremor--the most chill out of all her albums. religion’s always been a motif in her music, but it becomes a major theme here (this has Young Disciple !). I prefer the rougher production of her previous work, but it’s still p solid!

she also has 4 singles out currently that don’t have albums--We’ve Got a Good Thing Going + Arizona back in 2020, and Wolves of our Want + Ivy in the last month (please girl release a new album I will give you my major organs pl--). they are all v good.

picking out songs from her discog to recommend kinda feels like picking favorite children, but I think you specifically would like Aubergine, Crane Your Neck, Milk Duds, and We Are Nobody Else

#music tag #I got recced lady lamb by a wlw on tumblr. now I get to be the wlw on tumblr reccing lady lamb. character development

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Whoo boy, been a little bit. I can’t really say much besides IRL sucks, so. Back to something that doesn’t suck, which is BNHA. This chapter is dedicated to the good bean Tenya, especially his little smile which forced me to change my pfp on discord because I just couldn’t.

I was kinda planning on doing arc summaries between sections, but honestly, the BNHA wiki already has those, so if you don’t want to go back and read through all the posts I’ve done for the pre-USJ chapters, just head over there and do a skim of the summaries there, I guess?

[No. 12 - Yeah, Just Do Your Best, Iida!]

I just love how his hand gestures are actual effective tools against enemies, I cannot even. Also, a good and friendly reminder that carbonated drinks stall his engines! I have never seen that used in fanfic, whether for crack or whump purposes… a shame.

We head right into the next morning from that battle training, with the kids being held up by the media as they ask about All Might. Izuku is a bundle of nerves as he awkwardly excuses himself to the nurse’s office, Ochako is a darling who describes All Might as super muscly, and Tenya goes into a whole ass speech with a lot of fancy language to explain the honor of being at UA and learning under All Might. 

(Honestly, I find it hard to determine whether this is genuinely earnest or if he’s picked up media warding skills from his parents and older brother. It’s probably genuine, but I just love the idea behind low-key troll master Tenya who learned from the best, aka his older brother.)

Katsuki, unfortunately, is still known as ‘the kid from the sludge incident’, which I mean. I am so fucking baffled at how long the media in this have held onto that 'sludge incident' thing, like, you'd think they'd have moved on to other things by now and don't really think about it much.

It’s the same with the general public (as seen in chapter 3), like, yes, I too would have a fucking complex and anger issues if all anyone thought about in relation to me wasn't my high grades or my skill in combat or anything, but that one time a year ago where I was almost suffocated to death while the people who were supposed to save my life did fucking nothing. I mean, Katsuki has always had a complex, but This Didn't Help.

Moving on, we see the media wondering who the fuck this messy looking dude waving them off is, while Aizawa just. Fucking shoos them like they’re dogs or kids or something. His words seem like a vague attempt at being polite about shooing them, but with the hand gesture, well. Basically comes off more as a chastisement. 

...honestly, this feels so weird that no one knew about it even though the kids who got in got a message from All Might saying he’d be teaching there. The only thing I and the others can assume is that there was an NDA on him teaching until it was announced to the newspapers on the first day of classes. Which would explain why it didn’t hit the news until said day…

Whatever, it’s weird, let’s just move on.

One of the reporters steps forward, asking/demanding a chance to speak to All Might about his sudden shift to teaching, only for the guy behind her to try and call out a warning - just a touch too late, as the sensors over the gate react, causing the daunting hunk of metal serving as a gate to slam closed right in front of her. Gonna guess she’s new to the reporting scene. The guy explains that the UA barrier locks down if someone without a school ID approaches the gate, and that supposedly there are more sensors throughout the campus.

The panel gives us a diagram of the three ‘levels’ of sensors - the gate/wall around the school, the walkway to the school, and the school itself. Which I think correlates to the security levels that come up later, since it’s a ‘level three’ breach, which means the school was broken into. Was it… always that fucking simple and I just totally glossed over that detail until now? orz

While the newsfolk complain about not getting comments from UA, we get to see the back of a ~mysterious figure~ who definitely isn’t the primary antagonist of the entire series. God, you can see his individual neck vertebrae.

Horrifying.

We transition to 1a’s homeroom, with Aizawa going over the battle training as well as their grades / evaluations. Aizawa calls out Katsuki and tells him to grow up and stop wasting his talent, which Katsuki grudgingly accepts. Izuku jolts at being called out next over his broken arm, and accepts the chastisement of learning to control his quirk, because trying isn’t going to cut it. Aizawa does soften the blow, however, by repeating that Izuku has potential, assuming he overcomes that issue.

With that done, Aizawa ‘Plus Extra™’ Shouta gets the whole class tense by drawing out the next class announcement. While I think it’s a translation error, the whole class sweating as they wonder whether it’s another brutal pop quiz is hella funny. (I’m guessing it was meant to be ‘test’ which would reference to the quirk assessment as well as the battle training, but ah well.) The whole class sighs in relief as one as Aizawa finally reveals that their task for the morning is to choose a class president - a normal, school-like thing in comparison to the past two days.

Pretty much the entire class has their hands raised to volunteer for the position, with Katsuki being particularly aggressive about it (as per the norm). Even Izuku has his hand shyly lifted up from the desk, while his narration notes that the position in normal schools entails mundane tasks, but in UA’s hero course means leading the group - a position suited for a top hero in the making.

Tenya calls for them all to quiet down, drawing attention as he goes on to explain how leading people is a task of heavy responsibility, but that ambition is not equal to ability. He is so intense it’s hilarious as he explains how the office demands the trust of its constituents, and that if it’s to be a democracy, then he puts forward the motion that they choose their leader through election.

Seriously this is just so fucking hilarious, I love this boy so much. And I love whoever it is that calls out that this is a classroom, not congress. 

Tsuyu points out that the class hasn’t known each other long enough to build trust, and Kirishima notes that everyone will vote for themselves. Tenya points out that that is precisely the reason that anyone who gets multiple votes will be the best suited for the job. He then checks with Aizawa if this is allowable, which the teacher agrees to so long as it’s quick. And a quick transition, we reveal the winners-

Izuku with three votes, and Momo with two.

Everyone else, it seems, still has one vote, which was their own (as predicted). Izuku is shook. Katsuki is shaking in anger as he demands to know who the hell voted for Deku. Ochako is whistling and looking away, thinking that she’d better not let Katsuki find out.

(Also of note is that Sero is already approaching Katsuki and making a joke here about it being obvious Katsuki wasn’t one of Izuku’s votes, and then seemingly laughing a bit when Katsuki’s temper turns on him?

Hard to say for sure, but it seems Sero is the first of Katsuki’s future friend group to approach him and get away with poking at his temper. Which I feel is something very much overlooked by the fandom in favor of Kirishima for fairly obvious reasons.)

Tenya, meanwhile, is in a funk as he notes he has no votes, and that that is the harsh reality of office. Momo is concerned as she notes that zero votes meant he voted fro someone else, while Sato points out that Tenya was the one to suggest the election, so what did he seriously want? Izuku and Momo go to the front of the class - Izuku a nervous wreck while Momo’s just exasperated with the situation. Aizawa confirms their positions as he gets out of his sleeping bag, and the class talk a bout about the suitability of the chosen pair while Tenya continues to sulk in his seat.

With that, the first half of the chapter is done, so I’ll call it here. I can certainly say I learned a thing or two today, and I hope y’all did as well!

#readthrough #chapter 12 #usj arc #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #Iida Tenya #aizawa shouta #good to be back #real life is a pain and a half #I would have worked on this yesterday #but the manga site broke #also more food for the sero baku friendship fans

[malereader-inserts]

broken crown | i.

Your mother tried to keep you disciplined. But, it was hard to control a kid who was using magic as if it didn’t take time and skill - in which, to you it was. By the time you were seven, the funny old man told you that your family was Merlin.

Word Count:  1,727

A/n: HERE WE GOOO, REMUS SON SERIES IS OUT Yes, this is like the majority of characters live AU. Think we’re going with movies and there will be a lot of hindsight and flashbacks - The title was inspired by the song Broken Crown by Mumford and Sons. Anyone wanting to be on the tag list, message me! Scheduled for every Friday; 12:15am (BST).  Also, feedback is appreciated!

Next >

You were in bed, early morning with the sun beaming down upon you. You lay there still, it was the day that you were moving Harry from his home to the burrow. You could hear your dad clatter about in the kitchen whilst your step mum fiddled with the radio, hopefully finding suitable music to relax to. You got up to look out your window, sighing as you got up from the bed. Taking a quick shower and dressing for the day. 

Just like Hermione had told you to, you had packed a back for the group, promising to join them in the hunt for Horcruxes. You cleaned your room, the night before. Remus could hear a lot of shuffling in your room, he thought better to leave you alone. You put your bag on your neatly made bed with your wand next to it. You hadn’t told your dad you were joining, but you think he knows by now as you descend down the stairs.

“You’re up earlier than usual,” Remus says, surprised as he cooks up breakfast whilst Tonks smirks at you, “Are you alright? Having a fever?”

You rolled your eyes, you wished, but the truth is nerves were setting. Allowing for little sleep for you to get. You shake your head as you sit at the table, whilst Tonks ruffles your hair. Breakfast was almost silent, you didn’t say much as you finished your food. 

“Got something on your mind?” Remus asked, finally, as Tonks does the cleaning up - waving her wand as Remus rolls his eyes at his wife.

You smiled softly, thinking you’re going to miss mornings like that, and mornings when it is loud with your parents, you look at your dad, “No.”

Remus narrows his eyes, he knows you and can see right through your lies, but leaves you be, “Alright, we’ll be leaving soon. You’ll see Sirius again!”

You smiled to yourself, you like Sirius, he teased you relentlessly during the summer before the fifth year - he did live up to being family, he was your father’s best friend after all. You also get to see your friends again, after a month of no to little contact, missing Ron and Hermione dearly. You went back upstairs, slowly this time, taking time to process your surroundings.

Your father kept a lot of pictures of you growing up. You stayed with your mother life before Hogwarts. In fact, you were Harry’s first friend, and your barely ever saw him when you were a child. Your mother sent pictures to your dad, stills and moving. Your dad kept a photo album of your growing, despite not being in your life as much as he liked. 

Your mum always sent him a batch of pictures at the end of the month. Little drawings you made for your dad, creations and such. As said before, you were friends with Harry. But, you promised to your mother that you wouldn’t say anything. Harry would see you once or twice a month, your mother played it off like you were a sickly child that couldn’t leave the house and you knew of Harry’s situation. 

From a young age, you had excelled in magic at a young age. Which is why you were frequently visited by Dumbledore as you grew up. At the age of seven that is when you found out your true meaning, your true purpose. A lot of responsibility for a child.

You and your mother were descendants of Merlin, and rumours had spiralled that someone just as powerful as Merlin would lead the way, to make an example of the wizardry world. Your mother was as average as one could be, as did your uncles, aunts, cousins from that side as well. But, the moment you were born, with the eyes of your father, you had shown ability surpassing your age. 

Dumbledore would observe you when you were five, often coming around, you named him a funny old man as you played tea with him. Filling the cups up with chocolate milk without a wand and it was no accident, with the twinkle in your eye - Dumbledore knew you were something different. 

Your mother tried to keep you disciplined. But, it was hard to control a kid who was using magic as if it didn’t take time and skill - in which, to you it was. By the time you were seven, the funny old man told you that your family was Merlin. 

You knew of Merlin, your mother told tales of him before you went to sleep. The funny old man told you that you would do so many great things in life. At the age of seven, you just wanted to be a kid, and they let you. But, when you turn nine, it seemed like you were always indoors to read, to learn. You figured out you were dyslexic, and yet, you were the only one who was able to read the book of Merlin, he had written centuries ago.

His work, his spells he had created for himself, all passed down with unknown translation, and you found yourself understanding it. Whilst you sometimes struggle with English, you had excelled in runes, both Merlin’s and ancient, and Latin. Your mother died in the summer just before your first year, you were distraught. 

Death Eaters had invaded your home, you hid in the chest where Merlin’s work was kept. You came out of the chest to see Dumbledore, saying you’ll be living with your father. You never wanted to leave Harry, but there was a comforting feeling that you would see him on the Hogwarts train. 

So, here you were in your small room. Your single bed that was positioned under the window, it was cleared and neatly done up. Your wardrobe, chest of drawers and desk was cleared. Your bookshelves neatly presenting your books, your notebooks that you had been filling out since you were nine of your own spells, your own creations, following in the footsteps of Merlin. 

Notebooks you wrote in the unknown runes as well, drawings of diagrams. Notebooks you had written about the years in Hogwarts, neatly in order of what year. How you had unlocked all Merlin’s cursed vaults, also, your adventures with Harry and the other two. Some of your notebooks kept clean, others were battered. You sighed, looking in the mirror one last time, a picture of you and your father taped onto it. 

“(Y/n)!” Remus called you from downstairs, “We have to go!”

You pulled on your jacket, grabbing your bag and wand. Headed downstairs, closing your bedroom door for the very last time in a long while, to see your dad and step-mum with a small bag. You smiled tightly at them, taking a deep breath and apparating to the Burrow.

You had kept your stuff in Ron’s room, the night was slowly setting in, so everyone was going to get ready to meet at Harry’s home. You stood outside, Hermione gripping your hand.

“Ready for one last adventure?” You asked your two best friends.

Remus, Tonks, Sirius, Mad-Eye, Hagrid and Kingsley also exit the house and wait outside with you and your two best friends. They looked at you, giving you a tight smile. You found comfort within them, they had your back like you had Harry’s back with them. Arthur, the twins, Bill and Fleur all came out last.

Mad-Eye looked at the group, counting everyone, before saying everyone was present in the movement of Harry Potter. There were going to meet more aurors at Harry’s, to accompany them in the great flight. You had given Mad-Eye your broom as you looked at the people surrounding you.

After, in a hypothetical good situation, Harry defeats Voldemort. The country, perhaps the world would have to turn to look up at you. A young adult, still finding his way. You looked at the faces, faces you won’t see for many months. You often wonder if that’s what Ron and Hermione were thinking. You looked at Sirius, still the joker he ever was. He gives you a tight smile, his eyes glimmering.

Then you looked at Tonks, your step-mum. You weren’t bothered at the age gap between you and her, many were surprised at the fact. Some were not, after all, if you weren’t prioritising Gryffindor traits, your friends would vouch for you for Hufflepuff before you could even find yourself in Slytherin like Merlin. You welcomed Tonks with open arms, she even lets you call her Dora. Despite the age difference, she does hope one day you can call her mum - even if yours had passed many years before.

Then, you turn to look at your dad. The kind and gentle soul he’ll always be. And yet, he is full of rage as well. Your father was loving, he had wanted to spend your childhood with you. But, your father could not let your mother provide for him and he wanted to keep you safe from the monster he was, though you never had seen him as a monster. He was your father, and that’s all you’ll ever see him as. You’ll miss him when you leave, you won’t be able to write him letters or such. You see him look at you.

There’s pride in his eyes.

You hate it because you see a lot of pride in many people’s eyes. Whilst his pride is that you are his miracle boy, his son, the man he has raised you to be. The other look of pride had scorn you, often at times, the pride in their eyes was because you were following some powerful wizard that they expected you to act and be like.

You want to make a name for yourself, but it’s hard when no one knows that you have a name to follow. 

Responsibilities, why must they tear down the youth of some child, some teenager?

Perhaps, that’s why you and Harry had fallen in love. 

“Everyone knows the plan?” Mad-Eye asked, once more for confirmation, as many answers back with a murmur.

The plan, who didn’t know the plan? It was frustrating as all hell with all the reruns of the damn plan. You sighed as you watched everyone apparated away, you looked at your father with a smile - see you on the other side. 

#Harry Potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter x male reader #Remus Lupin #remus lupin imagine #remus x reader #remus lupin x male reader #broken crown #x male reader

[jenonctcity]

No Nut November - Renjun

Huang Renjun – Smut, Crack, Fluff

Warnings: Explicit content, a lot of mentions of penis’s, female masturbation, male wet dreams.

Word Count: 2.4k

Summary: 00’s line take part in No Nut November.

The Rules of No Nut November:

You cannot have sex, masturbate, or nut in any way, shape, or form.

Watching pornography and having boners are allowed, but you can’t nut.

You are only allowed one wet dream. If you have more than one, then consider yourself out.

You do not have 3 strikes; you only have one shot at it. If you miss it, you’re out.

 If you have passed the month with a total of 0 nuts, you are a victor and you shall qualify for Destroy Dick December (Not Recommended).

Look man, just don’t nut in 30 days. 

Series

 You were horny. You couldn’t find any other words to describe the tingling sensitivity you felt within the confines of your panties. You needed Renjun, and you needed him now. He’d spent the day with Jaemin, Jeno, and Haechan doing god knows what, probably playing video games and eating till they felt sick. Now as he sat on the edge of his bed, scrolling through his YouTube feed absentmindedly you decided now was the perfect time to get some dick.

You had the whole thing planned out, you were gonna start by kissing his neck from behind, then you would rub his cock over his jeans to get him hard. You weren’t quite sure about the next step yet, you would either suck his dick down your throat till he had you gagging, or push him back onto the bed and sit on his face till your thighs were shaking and your eyes rolled into the back of your head. You figured you’d just decided which option to take in the moment. But the final step in your plan was riding him until he took you to cloud 9 and back. You snuck up behind him, the first step in your plan now underway.  

“Hey baby.” You purred in his ear, running your hands round his body to his chest and stroking it with lingering fingers.

“What’s up beautiful?” He didn’t take his eyes off of his phone, even when you started to press teasing kisses to the warm skin of his neck.

“I want you.” You got straight to the point, trailing a hand down to the slight bulge in his jeans. He was quick to grab your hand, pulling it away and turning his head to face you. You frowned at him, confused as to why he wasn’t jumping at the chance to fuck you when you were basically offering your pussy up to him on a silver platter.

“I can’t, sorry.” He shrugged, standing up from his spot on the bed and facing you as you knelt on the bed where he had previously been sitting. He’s never turned you down for sex before during your entire year long relationship, so this was completely baffling you.

“What do you mean you can’t?” You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head slightly almost like a curious puppy would when hearing something they haven’t heard before.

“The boys bet me that I couldn’t do no nut November, I said I could.” He shrugged like it was nothing. “If I last the entire month without orgasming once then they buy me a laptop. If I lose then I have to do anything they want for an entire day.” He chuckled at the look of anger on your face. “Sorry babe.” He cupped your cheeks and pressed a quick kiss to your pouted lips.

“I hate you. I can’t go a whole month without sex, you absolute fool!” You gave him a whack on the arm, your sexual frustration getting pent up and making you want to slap the shit out of him.

“You’ll live! It’s just a month and you can masturbate! You’ll be fine.” He sat beside you on the bed again, pulling you close with his arm around your shoulder. “Lets cuddle.” His grin was pissing you off even more.

“Pfft, lets cuddle, what a complete cum rag stupid idiot.” You mumbled, laying down on the bed with your back to him. He laughed when he heard your non-threatening mumbling. “I wanted my guts rearranged by dick but all I’m getting is a stupid cuddle.” You snuggled into the pillow, your scowl threatening to become permanent. He wrapped his arms around you and spooned you from behind.

“You’ll get over it. Don’t even think about rubbing your ass against my cock.” His lips felt were soft against the back of you neck, his breath cool against the warmth of your skin and sending a chilling shiver down your spine. You huffed and closed your eyes, hoping a nap would dull the horniness into nothing.

 Day 8:

It was a week later, day number 8 to be exact, when you decided you couldn’t last any longer. You needed Renjun’s dick. So, he was shocked to walk into his room and see you spread eagle on the bed, naked as the day you were born, rubbing your clit with two fingers and giving him a seductive look. You were even more shocked than him when he burst out into a fit of laughter. Your fingers stopping and mouth popping open to give him a gormless look.

“Why are you laughing?!” You closed your legs, sitting up on the bed and folding your arms over your chest, looking him straight in the eyes and trying to assert some dominance over him.

“You’re a funny girl.” He strode across the room, throwing himself onto the bed beside you and smiling widely at you making his eyes crinkle up.

“This isn’t funny. I need sex.” You looked down at where he laid next to you, glaring at him to show him how you didn’t find your needs funny. He just continued to smile at you, batting his eyelashes innocently as he looked your naked body up and down.

“Lay down.”

“Why?”

“Just lay down.” His voice held an authoritative tone that you knew to obey. You felt a light spark of hope flicker in the pit of your stomach as you laid down on the bed, opening your legs back up to give him access just in case he planned on needing it. “Be a good girl and you’ll get rewarded.” He smirked, sitting up on one of his arms to face you. He placed his other hand on your knee, very slowly and teasingly trailing it up your thigh, leaving a searing feeling behind from his touch. You watched his face as a substitute to watching his hand, his plump bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he concentrated on making you feel good.

“Please…” You figured if you begged he would be more likely to give you what you wanted.

“Such a brat.” His fingers ghosted over your slit, his touch light as it scaled up and down your wet folds. “Trying to seduce me when you know I’m not going to cave in.” He leaned in and pressed his lips against your, not wasting time to slip his tongue in the cavern of your mouth. With his tongue pressing to yours, he put pressure on your clit, rubbing it in circular motions and letting your moans slip into his mouth. “So, because you’ve been such a bad girl.” He removed his hand from you, smirking against your mouth before pecking your lips once more. “You don’t get anything.”

“RENJUN!!!”

 Day 13:

When Renjun opened his eyes in the morning, the first thing he saw was you grinning at him with a wide, shit eating smile. He furrowed his eyebrows, a yawn breaking from him as he wondered what you had to be so happy about that early in the morning.

“Good morning Mr Huang.” You greeted him, sitting up and stretching your back out.

“What did you do…?” He asked with suspicion in his tone, his voice coming out groggy and clad with remnants of sleep.

“Oh my sweet, sweet boyfriend, it’s not what I did.” You reached over and pulled back the duvet, revealing his naked body to the cool air of the morning floating through the cracked open window. “But what you did.” You used to your finger to point accusingly at the pool of dried cum on his toned stomach. His flaccid dick laying against his thigh. “I enjoyed every second of your wet dream. As did you I believe.” You had a face of a cat that had caught the mouse, your smugness building in your chest and making you let out an evil like laugh. Renjun sighed, rolling his eyes and relaxing back against his pillow. “Anyway, now you lost your bet, get that bad boy up again so I can ride you till I see stars.” You swung your leg over his thigh, mounting his hips and smiling cutely at him. You rubbed your hands over his chest and bit your bottom lip.

“Actually, it states in the rules that one wet dream is allowed. So, my bet is still on.” It was his turn to be smug now, his lips pulling into a sadistic yet sleepy smirk. Your face fell faster than a skydiver wearing a ton of bricks as you rolled off of Renjun, kicking your legs into the bunched-up duvet as you started to throw a mini tantrum.

“FUCK!”

 Day 25:

The stubbornness your boyfriend had shown over the past 25 days was actually rather impressive. You didn’t think he’d have lasted this long and you started to get prouder of him as the days went by, your mood doing a complete turn from when you were just constantly horny and angry. Those feelings fizzled out after you watched Renjun whine about being horny but being too persistent to give up on his bet. The poor man sat there with a raging stiffy in confines o his boxers, refusing to let you touch it and pretty much stamping his feet to the floor in need. After his boner had gone down without release, you stroked his head and gave him all the kisses he needed, telling him how pleased you were with his hard-headedness. You also apologised for trying to sabotage him in the early days. You were being strategic though, because you knew once the month was up he was going to give you some mind-blowing sex, and if he wasn’t still mad about you trying to destroy his no nut streak, then he would give you multiple orgasms. So yeah, your apologising was mostly to benefit yourself.

“What are you doing baby?” Renjun walked up behind you were you sat at the dining table of the dorm, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“I’m just doing a written plan of all the sex positions we are going to try at approximately 12:01am on December the 1st.” You shone a bright grin at him, then rested your head against his. “Oh and I’ve drawn some diagrams too.” He squinted at your poorly drawn stick figures, trying to decipher who was who and what body part was doing what.

“What position is that?” He moved a hand from the warmth of your waist to point at one of your diagrams. He couldn’t for the life of him figure out what position you’d drawn the stick figures in, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“It’s supposed to be doggy style but it looks more like I’m cleaning the floor and you’re just stood behind me…” You tilted your head too, trying to figure out yourself why you’d drawn it so badly.

“Why have I got three legs…?” You stilled at his question, letting out a soft laugh and rolling your eyes.

“That’s your penis, silly.”

“Why is it the same length as my leg?”

“Look it’s not an actual size diagram Renjun, enough of the questions alright?”

 Day 30:

Today is the day, well…technically tomorrow is the day, but that didn’t matter to you. Because in less than an ten minutes, the clock would tick over to 12:01am on December the 1st, and you’d finally get to feel the sweet feeling of a hard, dripping cock nestled tightly within the space of your wet walls.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited about something before in my entire life.” You laid on Renjun’s bed, making sure his roommate was going to be out the entire night – yes you may have threatened Jeno but he’s easily forgiving. 

“I can tell.” He laughed, lying beside you on the bed and staring up at the ceiling.

“I can’t believe you lasted a whole month without an orgasm! Your balls must be blue as fuck.” You giggled, lacing your fingers through his own. His hand felt a little bit clammy in your dry, cool hand. The heat from his hand warming your palm up, the heat meandering up your arm to spread throughout your body.

“They’re about to get a lot bluer…” He mumbled as quietly as possible.

“What did you say?” You glanced at him, not hearing his words.

“Nothing my darling.” He faked a smile at you, bringing the back of your hand to his lips and softly laying a kiss to it. You’d set an alarm for the magic minute, jumping up when it rang out in the room.

“Finally!” You mounted Renjun, turning off the alarm and hurrying to pull your t-shirt over your head.

“Actually…I er…spoke to the boys and they said they’re give me 100,000KRW if I participated in Destroy Dick December…so I said yes…if I have sex with you now then I know I’ll cum more than once so it’s best if I just do it myself...” The nervousness in his voice made it crack, gulping as he watched you with cautious eyes. Your silence scared him, especially when your eye twitched and nails dug into his chest, a slight wince marring his features. Anger boiled through you, rising up like a thermometer about to reach its peak temperature. “I’m sorry! Don’t be mad…we can fuck tomorrow!”

“DON’T BE MAD?! ARE YOU FUCKING HAVING A LAUGH HUANG RENJUN?!” Your scolding shouts could be heard through the walls, Jeno sitting wide eyed in the living room as he couldn’t help but listen to the situation happening inside his shared bedroom with Renjun. “It’s not going to be December that destroys your dick. I’m going to destroy it if you don’t fuck me right now!” Jeno burst into fits of laughter, finding Renjun’s difficult situation to be hilarious.

“Poor guy…” Jeno mumbled, putting his airpods in to drown out any more uncomfortable sounds that might resound from the room.

No Nut November: Huang Renjun – Success.

(A/N: Hey! I hope you liked this, please leave me some feedback if you could! Also, which member would you like to see next for the NNN series? I was just going to do it in age order but if I get enough people wanting a certain member next then I’ll do it that way instead.)

#nct #nct dream #nct dream 00 line #nct dream 00 line smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #huang renjun #nct renjun #nct huang renjun #nct dream renjun #nct dream huang renjun #Renjun smut #huang renjun smut #nct renjun smut #nct dream renjun smut #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #no nut november #nct no nut november #nct reactions #nct dream reactions #nct blurbs #nct dream blurbs #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct angst #nct dream angst #nct crack

[fiveisnumber1]

So these are some headcanons/au/ideas/ discussed with the lovely @oceanspray5. They’ve been grouped into main topic and then I’ve combined our comments down into just bullet points. I think they’re really funny and I enjoy them a lot! Hope y’all do too.

Any threat the reader makes towards her friends is possible: 

Like in vlog videos you can hear her say something like "I'll blow your tire up on the interstate" or "I'll vaporize your spinal fluid" and viewers would be like haha funny threat when in reality she could do those things if she wanted.

It would be a hit with Gen Z and her insults are so creative that people take to making memes and merch out of it and stuff.

And meanwhile Reader is like... "I wasn't joking"

The Hargreeves and H7 get a bus:

Like a school bus but then they fix it up and make it like a decked out one. They use it when they all want to go to the same place at the same time.

The H8 tell Luther he isn’t cool enough to sit in the back of the bus with them and he gets pouty about it.

Ghost Ben likes sitting on the roof of the bus.

Diego is the one who drives the bus and when things get chaotic he threatens to turn the bus around

The H7 and Hargreeves in quarantine:

Having all of them locked up together is a bit crazy

The H8 will show up in the background of other’s class video calls just for fun

Everyone is very responsible and wears mask when outside

Kenny and Klaus are sent out to get groceries but instead end up stealing toilet paper from Karens and giving them to the elderly. They do this in their neon jackets it goes viral. “Two neon cowboys assist elderly in toilet paper shortage”

Kenny at a family dinner at the start of lockdown goes "Well who am I going to hook up with in quarantine?" and Five replies "No one." and Kenny states "Easy for you to say you live with your girlfriend!" and Five is just taken aback and speechless.

After Kenny’s comment:

Diego throws a fit and a knife. Older brother mode: ACTIVATED. Paranoid Interrogation™️ begins. Reader just replies its none if Diego's business and that just serves to rile him up more because he knows she's RIGHT but also that's not the answer he want to know.

Diego isn't sure what to believe. He proceeds to sleep outside in the hallway for the next three nights in a row. This causes at least three different people to bump into him while half asleep in the dark. Eventually Klaus just mumbles that Five and Reader can both Teleport in a way so it's not like Diego sitting in the hallway and causing everyone to trip is helping. Diego implodes after that.

Kenny and Klaus being the chaos beings that they are ever now and then are like “Diego come quick!” and it’s always nothing. Reader and Five are just reading books, doing schoolwork or some other normal activity.

One time when the chaos beings do this Diego drop kicks the door to Reader's room and breaks it and that's the last straw.

The next time she hears him running, this time towards Five's room because of course her rooms door is broken now, she makes it so dense that Diego ends up with a good bruise

She then looks at him all annoyed and says "I'll keep doing that every time if you don’t start trusting me" Diego is thus subdued

Diego isn’t upset with them being together, he just hates the thought of her growing up and also he is getting a little stir crazy in quarantine

Luther and Klaus teach sex ed to the H8:

Why these two were in charge, no one knows

The kids think it’s dumb since they had it in school but humor them anyway

Luther teaches them once on his own and Klaus does one on his own

Klaus is so OPEN

And then there's Luther who's so awkward and has this biology diagram he totally doesn't understand

Klaus and Luther then work together. It doesn’t go well.

Overall very funny

They ended up recording it and posting it online

#H7 asks #H7 headcanons #H7 #h7 #h7 posts

[nostalgic-pancakes]

Watching the starlings as autumn draws in

Summary: Tommy and his friends try on some skirts, and he reflects a bit on how they all got here. (It's a happy story) Title from September by Sparky Deathcap

Pairings: None! Platonic everyone (esp in irl fics_)

Read on AO3 (preferred place to read)

Word count: 2570

Warnings: None, except for surface-level references to the exile/prison arcs, but not much.

Other notes: I wrote this in a fit of madness last night in like three hours at 2 am, so i’ll probably edit it honestly but for now, enjoy! (If the CC’s ever display discomfort with this type of fic I will take it down)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"WELCOME BACK TO THE STREAM, BOYS!" Tommy exclaims, rubbing his hands together as he starts rapid-fire answering questions about the stream, and the stream title from chat. It's funny, how over time, Tommy's come to see Chat as this one entity- an old friend. The nervousness of answering questions as a fifteen year old with nothing but a big personality, a twitch account and a copy of Minecraft is all but gone now, nineteen years old and happier than he's ever been.

Dreadfulzombie19: what are u doin this stream

"THANK YOU FOR ASKING, Dreadfulzombie19, today is gonna be a bit different, innit Tubbo?" Tommy raises his voice a bit at the end of his sentence, just loud enough for one of his flatmates to hear him. When Tubbo yells back an affirmative, Tommy turns back to his setup. Chat's gone a bit wild again, even though he, Tubbo and Ranboo have been living together for over a year now.

"Okay, okay, calm down chat- so recently I was at university, as usual right? And I had an eight AM class again, and… yeah I can see you all can relate."

"BUT! BUT! On my way back to the flat, I saw something really cool." Tommy hesitates in his speech to take a sip of coke again- his blood pressure's been acting up lately and watches Chat to wild again, asking him what he saw.

"Okay, so there was a shop- new place, which doesn't happen often this is fucking Brighton- and they sold skirts and dresses and stuff with adjustments for AMAB sizes!" Chat goes a bit bonkers, but Tommy's mod team- a little smaller than it used to be, now that he isn't the centre of YouTube or Twitch attention anymore, none of them are- are handling it, and pretty well.

"So I had to go, right? As many of you probably know, last year, I made the astounding discovery that gender-based stereotypes and expectations are, in fact, fake and I should not give a SHIT. And so I go in and look through the stuff- it's a really poggers shop by the way, and I find the perfect thing- it was the most poggers skirts and shit, okay? So, today's stream is going to have me wearing this pogchamp shit and wearing it right, with the help of…" Tommy ends his monologue by picking up the joke shaker-things that Phil had gotten him as a housewarming gift last year and indicates for his first two helpers to enter the office.

In walks his mother, face obscured from view as always, waving to the camera, and Wilbur, also wearing one of his only skirts for this occasion. Eret had taught him, on a phonecall in the skirt shop that week about the different types of skirts with a handy diagram. Wilbur's was a pleated circle skirt, brown to offset the bright yellow of his sweater and beanie, the same colour as his hair. It's very swoosh-y, so he's wearing black leggings with his regular shoes too. Motherinnit's also wearing her favourite skirt, a baby blue prairie skirt, Tommy thinks, and it's one he's seen fairly often.

Wilbur ducks down in order to show his face to Chat, and ruffles Tommy's hair while he's at it. Tommy's taller, but not by much, so Wilbur still fucking makes short jokes, That fucker.

Chat is now going so fast that he simply cannot read anything but some of the all caps messages and can barely make out some of the emotes.

"Okay, OKAY, CALM DOWN CHAT! WE HAVE TO GET TO FUCKING BUSINESS!" Tommy yells into the mix, like he did when he was sixteen and used the 'many people find me annoying at first' intro. Nowadays he just lets the content speak for itself. Anyone who wants to be here already is, by now.

Wilbur laughs a bit, and that hasn't changed at all. "Tommy, how is chat supposed to calm down if you're not calm?"

"I am their god!! They will obey via sheer digital willpower!" Tommy replies back, pretty zealously (What? An English Literature class is mandatory for his film degree, and The Great Gatsby by Zelda Fitzgerald is a good book, as are most of the other assigned ones. He's had entire conversations with Techno with just lit quotes and it drives everyone insane. Tommy loves it.) Chat seemingly has listened to his godlike abilities, with a few OG's spotting his half-quotation of one of Dream's last lines in the Dream SMP. The rest are spamming 'MOTHERINNIT'.

"If having a shitty magic trick book from a washed-up politician makes you a god, then what does that make me?" Wilbur replies, with one of Foolish's lines and swatting his hand at Tommy. Tommy swats back.

"Bitch" "Arsehole" "Shithead" "Fuckface" Wilbur finishes cheerily, as if this happens all the time. It does. Chat's used their antics now, four years of consistently making content together will do that for you.

Eventually Motherinnit reminds them both to get back on Topic, and Tommy goes back to facing the camera, addressing Chat directly.

"Today, my beloved mother, and my idiot brother-" "hey!" "And maybe my flatmates will be joining me to show off some cool as SHIT skirts! And a dress or two. We all have our selections, right?" Everyone nods in affirmative, even Tubbo and Ranboo. Though the camera can't see them. Ranboo's just come home from his final class, then. He should probably take the first hour back off, and judging by how Tubbo is forcefully judging Ranboo to the shower, he probably gets it. Tommy signs an affirmative to both of them, and gets back to the camera, where Wilbur's showing off all of his (very poggers) very stupid brown or yellow skirts. Tommy's are in cool colours, for fuck's sake.

"Oh yeah, Puffy just confirmed she'll be on stream! She'll be here in about twenty minutes, accounting for fucking traffic, and Niki' going to get onto VC after her own stream, what game is it this time?"

"GRIS." Wilbur answers.

"Poggers- she is the SHIT and will join us soon! So expect some QUALITY QUALITY content this stream!! Remember to not spam her chat to finish faster." Exclaims Tommy, even if it ends up as a light warning, as he picks up his own very poggers skirts from the extra armchair in his office to show the camera.

One is the classic red and white, mostly white but with bright red on the waist (elastic) and the bottom, and it reached to about Tommy's knee, if worn at the hip. It had no pleats, but the red bits were a very nice velvet texture, and while the skirt was heavy, it still had very much swoosh value, and pockets!! Big ones!! He slips the skirt on top of his jeans before entering camera view, the skirt visible in all its classic Tommyinnit glory, as he takes his place right next to Wilbur, who just took. a quick spin at the behest of several dono's., Skirt spying out from his lower shins all the way to his knee, making visible one of his (many) petticoats. ("What? It's cold all the fucking time here, Toms.") Tommy also makes a quick little spin, skirt flying outward, not upward, so it looks like he's hula hooping for a moment there. Lastly, Motherinnit spins around too, and while her skirts do not swoosh, she looks opulent, like she was about to go to waltz with the enemy, for whom she has a dagger in the back of her dress for. (He finished Anna Karenina and the Six of Crows duology within the same week and has not yet recovered. Jack Edwards is laughing at him as he thinks in his English Lit Graduate glory.)

It's fun, trying on different skirts- he and Wilbur accidentally bought the same dress at one point, which they paired up to wear, darting off into their respective changing rooms while giggling like idiots with their checkered blouses and the grindl skirts that Niki had sent over when she heard of this stream idea, laughing the whole time. Tubbo enters as dramatically as possible with Puffy, and while Tubbo looks really fucking good in his handkerchief skirt with embroidered bees and plain white shirt, it's Puffy who steals the show with an exact, real life version of her red banquet dress.

Fans from way back in the SMP, before Tommy had started branching out start going insane and are bringing back emotes Tommy wasn't sure were still available, but she is fucking stunning- deep shades of red and crimson, with slits on either side of her waist and all the detailing. She'd gotten the contact for her dressmaker through Bernadette Banner, Tommy recalls- she was so fucking cool when she streamed with him once, and gotten him to swear less and supplant those world's with bigger ones to intimidate instead. While he still curses like a sailor as part of his persona, it's less so and he does way less in real life these days, unless the situation calls for it. It's also just rude, especially in uni libraries, where he spends too much time these days wondering why he didn't read more as a kid.

Puffy's stolen his audience for a WHILE, and Niki coming on hasn't helped any, so Tommy exits camera view for a while to hug Ranboo really quickly- he's had midterms and has basically been dying all month.

Everyone on this stream- Tommy, Wilbur, Motherinnit, Tubbo, Puffy, Niki and Ranboo enter the camera frame after entering their dressing rooms for the last time on this particular stream, Puffy with full in-character wigs and makeup, Tommy in an Edwardian-Gothic reminiscent black and red dress, Ranboo in something he bought when he gap-yeared in Japan, punk lolita or something, Niki flaunting her pink in a Marie Antoinette style show of finery, Tubbo dressing in all green this time, something like a very deranged biology teacher who hasn't slept in days (Tubbo hasn't-Tommy has to get into that), Wilbur like a forest-nymph, all earthy tones and swishy fabrics and nature highlights, and finally Motherinnit, who hasn't changed but is here to take pictures as they all lean in together to fit into frame, as drastic as their height difference is. Niki is going to be edited in later, and everyone on the 'Dream SMP but nobody does Dream SMP and we're all fucking nerds' discord server is going to get a copy.

The stream wraps up there, after about two hours, and it's only about six in the evening- a far cry from the late nights and long hours from the beginning of Tommy's career, so everyone runs to their changing areas for the last time, into pajamas now, and packs away all of the clothes they wore, properly, as to not incense Karolina Zebrowska, and Jemma, Dan's wife, who would look at them disappointedly and nobody wants a sad Jemma because that means no cooing at their son. Also it just feels shitty.

Everyone huddles in Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo's living room, and they out on UP for like, the millionth fucking time (they still cry when Ellie dies), and Tommy is leaning into Wilbur's side and feeling his mum play with the hair in his very small, stubby ponytail he's developed by being in Uni as he and Tubbo intertwine their legs together and Ranboo rests his head in the tangle of limbs, playing with his fidget cube. Puffy stays on Wilbur's side, intently texting someone and smiling the whole while, and Tommy takes a moment to reflect (something he's been getting better at doing) on how the actual hell they all got here.

The Dream SMP was always going to end- everyone knew it, if course, they were the fucking writers. But by the time they did, not only were their respective brands too closely intertwined to just… sever that quickly, but they'd become too close to even want to. So the SMP discord never shut, even though Dream and George had planned it months ago, and they continued supporting each other with their interests. Wilbur made a lot more music solo, with his band and even just random ass streams where he practiced guitar for an hour. He kept playing Minecraft, but it wasn't his main focus. A bunch of people left. More stayed. YouTube left him alone.

Dream, George and Sapnap are still Minecraft streamers, but their YouTube channels are mostly blogs of them being poor excuses of adults with other former SMP members joining in sometimes. Tommy and the Dream Team were closer than ever, even though the seeds of their friendship had been sowed when they used to linger after heavy streams together, reassuring each other that none of that was true and that nothing like… that would happen in real life, because Dream had used real abuse tactics, and those still hurt unless immediately taken care of. So they were. It was a running joke that Dream was stuck at 99 million subscribers since nobody really wanted the face reveal anymore. The other Dream team members were doing peachy.

Phil and Techno were also still primarily Minecraft streamers, but they also released things like advice videos and mental health stuff, especially for relationships. They had a new scripted series where Tommy was a minor character. The dadza jokes were still as real, and yes, outside of streaming, both of them were lovely people and responsible adults (mostly). They collaborated with DanTDM and co a lot more now.

Puffy and Niki kept doing games, but did lots of different ones, testing point and clickers to triple A titles, and making it all fucking hilarious while they were at it.

So where had that left Tommy?

After the Dream SMP, he'd kind of had no idea what to do, and he was going to University for the first time, so he just… did whatever he thought would be fun. He learned about vintage fashion from the queens themselves- Mina Le, Bernadette Banner and Karolina Zebrowska and had fun learning how to sew for the first time, fixing and making his own clothes for the first time, clunky as they were, Wilbur had cried, genuinely, when he saw the Lovejoy shirts that Tommy had made for the band. He'd found a genuine love for literature in university, so Tommy started talking to booktubers and studytubers like Jack Edwards and Noelle Stevenson. Tubbo and Ranboo had joined him, fucking around in any YouTube niche they found even remotely interesting. Eventually, they all found a happy medium- a bit of everything.

Some people obviously weren't happy with that but Tommy was happy as he was, making what he liked with his best friend's, living together close enough to most of their friends (family) to have fun and drop in on one another at ass-o-clock in the morning to comfort, to laugh. His sub count hasn't gone up in a while- most of his audience is static, with about 80-90k online on a stream at any time.p

It was a nice feeling, to have carved out a space for himself and the people he loves, and be is so, so glad that he got this chance.

Looking at his mostly asleep family, Tommy thinks 'yeah. Life is good.' as the last thought before he sleeps.

#dream smp #mcyt #irl fic #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #tubbo #nihachu #ranboo #vee's writing #2021