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haunted-xander · 1 year

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Her nap ended up being much longer than anticipated, and when she woke up from her bedroom window being forced open, it was already night. She didn't react until the person landed on the floor and another person began climbing in.

"...Hello...? Can I help you...?" It took a few seconds for her sleep-addled mind to recognise the intruders, but when she did she was suddenly very awake. "...Ah, Komaeda-kun? And... Kamukura-kun too? What are you doing here...? You ruined my nap..." She started to pout as she rubbed the drowsiness out of her eyes.

"Ah, my apologies. I didn't intent to wake you. I tried to be quiet, but of course I'd mess up something as simple as that. You may punish me however you see fit!"

"...Be my pillow then."

"...Huh? If... that's what you want, then sure! I'm afraid I might not be a very good one though... With how thin and bony I am, haha." He was clearly caught off guard, not expecting such a request. "Ah, but first, maybe I should explain why we're here, no?"

"I will do it. Go be a good pillow."

"...Well, alright. Anything you say, Kamukura-sama!" At Izuru's command, Nagito removed his shoes and climbed up into the bed. Chiaki moved so he could lay down and put her head on his chest when he did. The rest of her body laid across his torso and between his legs. "...Haaaaaaah. It's kinda hard to breathe..."

"Oh, sorry. Let me just..." Chiaki moved so her head was closer to his collarbone, and her torso was more off to the side than entirely on top of him "...Is that better?"

"...Yes, much better. But you really didn't need to move for someone like me, I'm sure this isn't as comfortable for you as your previous position."

"...Nah, it's fine. This is plenty comfortable for me. And I don't want you to suffer just because I want to lay on you." She patted his chest lightly in comfort. Before she could close her eyes and fall back asleep, Izuru made a noise to remind her of his presence. "How boring. You're already going back to sleep." Oh, that's right. He needs to explain what they're doing here... She rubbed her eyes to keep herself awake. "...Oh, right. You were supposed to explain why you're here. I was so caught up in sleeping on Komaeda-kun that I forgot..."

"...Ahaha, how cute. You could forget even something as important as that... I wonder if you have any self-preservation, Nanami-san. We could be here to kidnap you or kill you in your sleep and you'd hardly even react." Nagito seemed to almost whisper. "...In any case, let me begin explaining. We came here to provide some insider support in regards to your mission to 'save' the Remnants of Despair. An awfully predictable mission for you."

"Predictable isn't always bad, Kamukura-sama!"

"...But. With the few allies you have, this task will be impossible for you to achieve. I find it far too boring to simply let you die without accomplishing anything of note. If you die, nothing will change. Despair will continue to spread until the Future Foundation manages to bolster their forces enough to eradicate all traces of Junko Enoshima's influence. To prevent that outcome, we shall assist you."

Chiaki was stunned. Her mind was having difficulties processing all the information Izuru just told her. After a few seconds, she looked back to Nagito, hoping he could help her understand everything. "...Aha, it's a lot to take in, isn't it? I don't blame you for being confused. You'll understand it all in time. For now, all you need to understand is that we will help you safely retrieve our fellow Remnants of Despair. ...Ah, but it seems there's something Kamukura-sama forgot to mention!"

"...Which is?"

"Why we met you here, specifically! You see, the best way for us to assist you is to stay close to you. Of course, we cannot interact with you carelessly while in Future Foundation regulated areas, so we have normally been rather... limited in our capacity to help. Here, however? The only other Future Foundation members besides yourself are Makoto Naegi and Kyoko Kirigiri."

"...Kirigiri-san will definitely figure out you were here. She'll most likely tell Naegi-kun too."

"That is no cause for concern. Naegi will want to 'save' the Remnants as well, and Kirigiri will go along with him. As long as they are assured of our cooperation, there will be no issue." Kamukura-kun sounds so sure. Guess I shouldn't worry so much then. "...Ahaha, you're rather calm about all this, Nanami-san. I suppose us living here shouldn't be an issue then?"

"...Yeah, it should be fine. ...I'm gonna go back to sleep now. Feel free to join us, Kamukura-kun." With that, she fell back asleep, still laying on top of Nagito.

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

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Okay so after pulling Childe (and getting him to almost lvl 90 the same day lmao but I ran out of exp books) I started thinking about Chaeya x reader and I have to share my brainrot with someone so here you go:

Childe suddenly shows up to Mondstadt one day, supposedly to check out the Windblume Festival, but it had already been over for a few days before he arrived

You walk in on him and Kaeya glaring daggers at each other in the middle of the street, Kaeya sending terse smiles and veiled threats while Childe is nearly vibrating with the effort to keep himself from stabbing Kaeya in broad daylight. Who cares if he's a captain of the Knights? This guy's pissing him off

When you make your presence known it's like a switch flipped inside the two of them and they both turn to you like "ah yes here is the love of my life :)"

"Childe? What are you doing here?"

"Aw, can't I come say hi to a friend?" He replies, flashing you a grin.

"In that case, you've said your hellos," Kaeya interjects. He drapes an arm across your shoulders and pulls you closer to him. "They'll be coming with me now."

"I'm not just here to say hello." Childe steps toward you, sending a cold smile in Kaeya's direction. "I'm here to spend the day with them. Now, if you'll excuse us…"

You sigh as you realize that you have to be the peacekeeper here otherwise who knows what these two will do to each other?

To stop them from fighting and to lighten the tension in the air, you jokingly say, "Alright you two, settle down. I have two hands."

Even though you clearly meant it as a joke the boys each immediately grab one of your hands and you end up sandwiched between them for the rest of the day while they engage in Friendly Banter™ but don't you worry it's totally lighthearted and doesn't really mean anything (:

You are exhausted from babysitting these two grown ass men at the end of the day

Fast forward a few weeks and Kaeya invites Childe to have a Civil Discussion about their mutual feelings towards you

Bc while Kaeya would be perfectly content (he tells himself) with burying his feelings and letting someone else sweep you off your feet if it means you get to be happy and safe

He absolutely cannot let you fall into the hands of the Fatui, especially not a Harbinger

He's already lost his family because of the Fatui, he's not going to lose you too

These two somehow manage to make it through their chat without stabbing each other, which is a miracle

They decide to confess to you together and let you decide who to keep

The day comes when they both planned to confess to you. They somehow both kept their promise of not confessing before the other person which is also quite the miracle (maybe they signed a contract with Zhongli as the mediator lmao)

Anyway, they take you out to the cliff next to Stone Gate bc no one ever goes up there lmao so they won't be interrupted

(Kaeya lets Childe go first bc he thinks he would be able to deliver a more romantic confession than this two brain cell Fatui Harbinger)

Idk how to break it to you Kaeya but your poetry sucks (jk jk pls still come home I need your constellations 🥺)

After hearing two heartfelt confessions from your two favorite people, you had to take a moment to process what just happened

They both like you??? Wtf???? And here you were losing sleep over how you'd handle your crush on both the Cavalry Captain and the Harbinger

So if course you suggest a poly relationship. After all, you had two hands ;)

The boys didn't quite know how to handle your response, but after explaining it to them they both agree to give it a shot

So that's how you managed to capture the heart of these two idiots

And with your help they eventually realized that, huh, maybe the other person isn't so bad. They're actually kinda hot, ngl 👀

From then on, all the evil in Teyvat knew to not mess with you if they valued their existence. Your boyfriends aren't known to show mercy against those who hurt their loved ones

Ahaha this was long but I hope you enjoyed it!! If I have more brainrot to share I shall return with a part 2

Being completely honest. I really like Childe + Kaeya. Zhongli + Childe is really nice and wholesome but no one really writes smug Zhongli (THE. LOST. FUCKING. POTENTIAL???) but I care about fake smug Childe being paired with actually smug bastard Kaeya. But then you throw a reader in and holy shit, have I mentioned how much I love poly relationships?? I'm so honoured you came to me of all people to brainrot;; I also love the idea of reader acting as a wingman for two separate characters.

Dude, I can literally astral project and see this in my mind. I fully commit to the idea that Childe is an overgrown child and Kaeya acts like one when he gets pissed lol. Yo, if they signed a contract with Zhongli I can feel evil dad Zhongli hovering behind them anytime they try to make a move. But I was also not a fan of Kaeya's poetry. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I hate big acts of affection. Or just any act of affection that oversteps above platonic cause I would not be writing poetry for my friends unless it was a joke. It makes my spine turn to liquid. I'm gonna be real, even tho I just said that, I'm super down to hold anyone's hand or link arms. I'm gonna use "I have two hands" one day.

I can totally see their relationship starting with I love this person and I want to fuck this other person. There is no in-between. Then it slowly develops and what are these feelings I'm having??

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angrymongol01-archived · 3 years

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A/N: Am reposting two of my shelved discontinued fem!Hinata fics from my old blog here (for exposure ig? Also I didn't delete them completely there, they're just posted privately lol); for those who've read the original post before and wondering why this blog repost another blog's work, supplies~!! OP here, filling this blog with some Haikyuu content from last October. Enjoy ^^;; ALSO DO NOT SEND HATE ORZ smh

My Masterlist

Prologue | 01 | Omake 01

tho it doesn't looked like an extra chapter at all smh ahaha

Omake 01

wc: 1.9k words

warning: mentions of thigh touching (and probs kidnapping but not implied), a bit of OOC-ness, a few ‘damn’ mentions.

note: indented paragraphs -> flashbacks

*NOTE: since purple/violet is unavailable via PC (using desktop beta lol), I'll use yellow for Ushijima instead.

“…ta…nata…Hinata!”

A female’s voice continued calling her from her deep slumber.

The faint smell of ammonia wafted in the air.

Eyelids slowly opened as she regained consciousness.

“Ah, thank goodness you’re awake now, Hina-chan!”

“Yachi-san?” She groggily glanced at her friend.

“I’ll tell the others she’s awake!” Suddenly, the owner of that voice earlier, Date Tech’s manager, Nametsu Mai, stood up and headed outside the door. Yachi nodded her thanks.

“W-what happened… Where am I? Is this not our—the managers’—room?” she asked.

Hinata started to sit up from where she was laying but wobbled.

Luckily, Yachi and their second-year senpai Kinoshita Hisashi helped her out and gently positioned their fellow member on one corner of the classroom-slash-makeshift sleeping area.

Her senpai sheepishly replied to Hinata, “This is Date Tech’s sleeping quarters. We were having our first practice match of the day, against them, when Sugawara-san called to inform that they’ve found you together with Shiratorizawa, and their captain carried you on—“

The decoy shivered, thinking about the restroom incident hours ago.

“—and fainted on Ushijima’s shoulder. Ma~n, Suga-san’s so furious back then Kageyama had to stop him from killing them.” Kinoshita chuckled.

“Your room’s kinda far away from where they found you, so the managers decided to drop you off here since it’s the nearest one.”

Hinata sweatdropped, a bit embarrassed.

“Ah… thank you, and sorry for whatever inconvenience I have caused earlier…”

Yachi shook her head. “No, no, it’s fine! You’ve done nothing wrong, Hina-chan~,” she grinned at the orange-haired girl.

Smiled back also.

Then she suddenly facepalmed. “I forgot about the practice match! Is it still going yet?”

“It finished an hour ago, we lost—2-1,” a scowling Kageyama answered, trudging towards the three.

“K-k-kageyama…!!!” the female middle blocker blanched with fear, hands gripping the blanket draped on her lap, while the raven-haired setter shot a menacing glare at her, which she averted. “I’m… I’m sorry for—“

“Are you alright?” he quietly asked Hinata, his hand perched on her head.

His deep blue eyes swimming with concern and worry.

She felt a slight flush on her cheeks while meeting his gaze.

“H-hai, I’m fine!” the chibi assured Kageyama. “Nothing to worry about, Bakayama-kun~!”

And she smiled at him.

The boy suddenly became hot and turned to look away from her, hiding his flustered face with the back of his hand.

“H-hinata boke… idiot,” Kageyama stuttered, his heart thumping louder than normal.

Ahh… he sure is whipped for Hinata, that Kageyama boy, Kinoshita thought, shaking his head.

While their blonde manager only giggled.

Recovering from his blushing mess a while ago, the raven-haired setter took a deep breath, narrowed his eyes at Hinata and quipped.

“But I guess you do know that we lost in the match earlier because of your carelessness around your surroundings, right, dumbass?”

He smirked.

This pissed the female decoy and threw in some punches at Kageyama, which he constantly dodged. “Shut up, you!! I said I’m sorry, alright?!”

“No, you did not!”

“Yes, I did, Bakayama!”

There goes their ‘lovers’ quarrel’ again… hahaha…

“Hinata!” Sugawara’s sweet voice boomed inside the room as he entered together with their team’s captain Sawamura Daichi. Beside them tagged along Hinata’s friend from Date Tech, fellow middle blocker Aone Takanobu.

“Ah, Sugawara-san!” The first-year idiot duo stopped their bickering when the gray-haired setter all of a sudden hugged her.

Hc’d Suga and Hinata are chummy-chummy but in a mother/daughter sort of way.

He is, after all, Karasuno’s Sugamama.

“Honey, are you alright now? Did those Shiratorizawa bastards hurt you? Don’t lie to me!” She blinked in reply, baffled.

He might cry in an instant now—

“Oi, Suga, calm down,” Daichi said, drawing circles at the fellow third-year’s back to calm him down.

Aone then stepped closer besides Hinata and sat with his legs crossed, his eyes gazing at hers like Kageyama’s.

“Are you okay?” he asked her, his deep voice nearly startled both Hinata, Yachi and Kinoshita.

Date Tech’s one-third of the famous Iron Wall is a man of few words, and his replies were mostly grunts, hand gestures, and nods.

So it’s rare for him to speak, or ask a question, especially to a member of the opposite sex—or, in this case, at Karasuno’s Number 10. At Hinata Shouyou.

She held both hands at Aone’s now flustered cheeks, and grinned.

“I’m okay now, Aone-san! Don’t worry too much~ nn?” She tilted her head while looking at him.

C-cute… she’s cute, No-Eyebrows thought to himself. Even the other boys thought so, too.

Then he nodded.

Hinata patted his shoulders. “Good!”

Ahhh the power of friendship, feat. AoHina—

“Say, Hina-chan,” Yachi looked at the orange-haired girl. “Care to say to us why you fainted on Ushijima-san’s shoulder?”

The chibi stilled herself, cheeks starting to get a bit red. Kageyama noticed it.

“A-a-ano!! H-hinata-chan, it’s o-okay if you d-don’t have to tell us! S-sorry for asking such a foolish q-question—“

“Yachi-san, calm yourself down, too—,” the captain sweatdropped.

Looking at the people around her, Hinata slowly opened her mouth to speak.

“My thighs are kind of ticklish when being touched,” she muttered, face in an embarrassed state.

“Ha?” “Ticklish?”

“He—Ushijima-san touched the back of my thighs, but just to keep myself from falling down his shoulder!” the female middle blocker said aloud, pouting. “That’s why I… f-fainted earlier.”

Her partner remembered the face she made while being carried on Ushijima Wakatoshi’s shoulder.

“USHIJIMA-SA—hyaah! …P-please… stop—“

A vein pop ticked on the raven-haired setter’s face, his jawline twitching slightly.

Kageyama’s fists gripped hard, his face a big scowling mess.

Damn that Ushiwaka guy—

Another dark aura emitted on another corner as vein pops ticked on both Dadchi and Sugamama.

Wearing their scary faces.

Both Hinata, Yachi and Kinoshita panicked, while Aone furrowed his brows.

“Did you bring some shovels, Daichi?”

“They’re inside the bus compartment, Suga.”

“Good. We’re digging some graves for some perverted volleyball dorks to bury down later—wanna help us, Kageyama?”

———

Meanwhile, at Shiratorizawa’s side of the training camp, the members were at the sidelines, taking a break from practice when—

“ACHOO!!!” Tendou sniffled for the nth time already ever since coming back to the gym with Ushijima after the incident with Karasuno’s Number 10. “Uh, yizz…”

“Tendou-san, are you really alright?” their team’s first-year ace-in-the-making Goshiki Tsutomu asked, his face scrunched with worry. “You’re sneezing constantly.”

The redhead shook it off with a wave of his hand in reply, and smiled grimly.

“Yeah, I’m a-OK, thanks for your concern, Tsutomu-kun!”

“Oi, are you sick?” Shiratorizawa’s team mom third-year setter Semi Eita stared at his fellow third-year teammate with disgust. “If you are, please stay away from us! We don’t wanna get infected by your cold… Goshiki, don’t go near him!” “Eh? But, senpai—“

Tendou narrowed his eyes on him. “Semi-Semi, if I do have a cold, I will first go straight at ya and share my germs, duh!”

“DON’T CALL ME BY THAT STUPID NICKNAME, YOU IDIOT!” the team mom seethed, throwing a pack of tissues at the middle blocker in reply, hitting his arm.

A quarrel ensued at Shiratorizawa—

“Okay, guys, that’s enough! Save your bickering later at lunch period,” another third-year, Oohira Reon, chided and managed to stop both Tendou and Semi from tearing off their heads.

While the rest of the team just sighed and/or watched at a distance.

“Ano sa…”

Some of them turned their heads at the semi-deep voice of second-year starting setter Shirabu Kenjiro.

Idk how to describe voice ranges ‘cept high-pitch, deep blah blah sorry—

“Tendou-san, you mentioned earlier that you and Ushijima-san met Karasuno’s Number 10, right?”

“Aye~ we have!” the redhead then nudged Ushijima, who was sitting near him, on the side. “Right, Wakatoshi-kun?”

He nodded. “Un. We met Hinata Shouyou early this morning, outside the gym.”

“EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! You two met that cute sunshine already upon arrival!?!!” Both their libero, Yamagata Hayato, and middle blocker, Kawanishi Taichi, squawked at their captain.

Their faces looked like (‘◉⌓◉’), with Kawanishi gripping the collar of Shirabu’s shirt, shaking wildly.

“T-taichi, stop shaking me, goddammit—!” Whack!

Said second-year middle blocker started to wail in a dramatic way.

“WHYYYYYYYYYYY—!!”

Dunno how to grasp Kawanishi’s personality here tbh so stfu dejk—

“We were about to bring her here back though…” Then Ushijima’s usual stoic face darkened a bit.

“…if only those Karasuno setters didn’t show up.”

“Ah, that Kageyama guy and their vice-captain, isn’t it? Number 2?” Shirabu pointed out. “That guy’s really scary even though he has the face of an angel; their captain also.”

Oohira asked, “Wait… so you two attempted to kidnap the girl?”

“No, no, ‘kidnapping’ will only cause us trouble,” Tendou said, waving his hand in a disapproving way.

“Let’s call it ‘luring her with some sweets then put her inside a potato sack’—“

“ARE YOU A DOWNRIGHT LOLICON!?!!” Semi screamed straight at the Guess Monster’s face, pissed at his earlier statement.

Tendou vs Semi, Round 2–

“I-I heard from Date Tech’s Koganegawa-san that Hinata-chan fainted on you, Ushijima-san,” Goshiki stammered, red tinge on both his cheeks due to embarrassment, maybe? “Is that true?”

Ushiwaka nodded curtly. “Ye—“

“EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! SHE DID WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?!!” Both Yamagata and Kawanishi squawked again, interrupting his response.

Their faces now looked like (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾, with Kawanishi again gripping the collar of Shirabu’s shirt, shaking wildly.

“KAWANISHIIIIII!” An uppercut.

Chaos ensued inside the Shiratorizawa Academy (High School Division) Men’s Volleyball Club.

Their captain declared to himself, his olive-colored eyes shone with determination:

We will take Hinata Shouyou here, in Shiratorizawa. She should have (come here). Whatever the consequences be.

“WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SLACKING OFF, YOU NIMRODS!!! GET YOUR ASSES BACK TO PRACTICE!!!!”

“HAI!!!!”

———

How did the supposed-to-be ‘rumor’ begin? It all started when…

“Aaaarrrggghhh!! This is not right, Ryuu!”

“Huh? What d’you mean ‘not right’, Noya?”

“I want to sit next to our cute kouhai Shouyou on the bus earlier, but it’s always that bastard Kageyama who gets to sit beside her!! Hnnnnnngh—!!! He gets to touch Shouyou’s hair whenever she dozes off, or place her head on his shoulder to sleep on! Or-or maybe even take a candid shot of her sleeping cutely—dammit!!! This is frustrating!!!!!”

“Ahhh~ I know how you feel, bro! I, too, want to sit next to our precious Hinata-chan on the bus! B-but… Noya, what about Kiyoko-san?”

“Ryuu bro, our loyalty is always on our beautiful goddess Kiyoko-san—BUT SHE’S DIFFERENT FROM SHOUYOU! Our kouhai is literally the epitome of a living sunshine~! She cures our blues away! Remember that time during our match with Wakunan, when you were kind of down about Daichi-san’s injury then Shouyou suddenly hugged and peppered you with words of encouragement?”

“Oh, yeah! It calmed my senses down… and also! Remember when you came back from your suspension, and me and Hinata noticed bruises—“

idk I really need to refresh my HQ knowledge by rereading the whole manga orz—

“—on your arms? Ma~n, she freaked out and began applying those with some ointment she had in her bag. And you told me later that time Hinata’s hands were very soft even though she spiked and blocked so many balls in her lifetime? Also that expression on your face! So priceless!”

“Ahhhh~ I wanna touch Shouyou’s soft hands again longer! Not just a high five—but holding hands!”

“Me too~ Damn, I wish there’d be some kind of (rotational?) seating arrangement whenever we’re on the bus, traveling to matches and stuff…”

“Ryuu! Noya! Heya!”

“Tora! Our shitty (city) boy from Tokyo—wassup!”

“We can’t wait to play another game against you guys later! ww”

“Same here!”

“Ah, what are you guys talking about?”

“OUR PRECIOUS KOUHAI HINATA/SHOUYOU!!!”

“Eh? Shrimpy-chan? What about her?”

“It’s like this….—“

The two crows and mohawked cat walked their way inside the camp premises, talking.

Unbeknownst to them, two eagles accidentally eavesdropped on the earlier conversation.

DO NOT REPOST/EDIT WITHOUT PERMISSION. PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME, KIDS. LIKES ESPECIALLY REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED. ALL WORKS © angrymongol01 - 2021.

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vagrantblvrd · 5 years

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PreFAHC Battle Buddies where Ryan is an ER nurse & ends up treating his neighbor Jeremy when he stumbles into the apartment, bleeding & bruised. They end up going out for coffee when Ryan isn't dying & Jeremwood happens. Flash forward, Ry is the Vagabond & someone gets hurt, they're stuck at a safe house & he ends up treating the crew member & has a ~shockingly~ fantastic bedside manner. Just, some soft Jeremwood FAHC & breaking scary Vagabond expectations with soft ER Ryan, Jeremy & crew.

Okay, so like.

Jeremy’s got these cats and maybe some plants and whenever he’s on a job or whatever for a while he knocks on Ryan’s door and asks if he’d mind looking after them while he’s gone?

Just pop on over to feed and water them, play with them to keep them from wrecking the place? He’ll pay him and everything.

Ryan just, ahaha, because cats usually aren’t that fond of him but sure, sure, and no need to pay him because neighbors, right? Maybe return the favor with Ryan’s own bunch of houseplants when he’s working doubles or what have you.

This goes on for a while without incident, they give each other copies of keys to their places and it’s a No Big Deal for either of them.

Like, sure. Ryan sometimes comes across a set of knives or brass knuckles. (Every so often there’s something that looks like it could be dried blood, but it could be something else? Paint??? He’s certainly no an expert, hahaha.)

He finds a gun once or twice, all of them left out by happenstance, like Jeremy was just so damn tired from whatever it is he does he put them down and kind of forgot. Had to leave at a moment’s notice and forgot to put them away properly most likely, since the texts he sent Ryan asking to look in on things seemed a bit frantic?

Anyway, surely Jeremy isn’t up to anything untoward.

And then one day Ryan gets home from work later than expected, feels guilty because he promised Jeremy he’d look after the cats and plants for him while he’s out of town, right? Only it’s been a shitshow of a day, this clusterfuck that was on the news. Gang war or something and they were short-staffed to start with so he ended up working a – hell if he knows? He’s pretty sure he had a morning shift, but that was a day, two, ago maybe and everything between then and getting home is a blur.

He heads straight to Jeremy’s place because the cats have to be starving by now and oh, God, please don’t let them have gone feral. Wreck the place and destroy the plants and everything in their path because they’re horribly spoiled brats.

Ryan walks into a war zone, shit knocked over everywhere. Pillows shredded and bits of toilet paper trailing out from the bathroom because of course they’d go that that first. Plants overturned and somehow they they to the food, dragged the bags and containers out and tore into them, evidence everywhere and the cats?

Loudly making their displeasure known because the wet food has proven a most formidable foe, will not come out from their metal shells no matter how many times they get knocked off the highest of kitchen counters or batted into the wall.

“Jesus Christ,” Ryan mutters, because what even happened while he was at work?

He sets his bag full of important things like balled up jacket because summer and hot and too tired fold it like a human being. Tupperware for the lunch he packed however long ago and eaten who knows when. (Can’t remember the last time he ate, but surely it can’t have been more than a day?)

Bits and bobs and phone that’s at fifteen, maybe twenty percent charge left at this point.

Goes to get a brook and dustpan after he sorts out the food situation for the cats and does his best with the plants. (A little battered, sure, but they look like they’re going to survive.)

And then!

Just as he’s rooting around Jeremy stumbles through the door, all fucked up because reasons?

Bleeding and hobbling around and generally mini flesh wound injured a la every action movie ever. (Shot or stabbed, but only enough that it’s cause for worry but not cut scene death worry?)

Ryan comes out, broom and dustpan in hand – thinks at first he didn’t fully close the front door thanks to his exhaustion or maybe the cats are acting up again, but no, no.

It’s Jeremy standing in his living room looking like shit, gun out and aimed at Ryan who’s like, “Uh...” because okay, wow yes.

All that plausible deniability he’s been working on regarding Jeremy and his everything is kind of pointless now, you know.

Jeremy and this general feeling of well, shit because no way Ryan doesn’t turn him in or whatever after this.

Definitely no way Jeremy’s going to kill him because talk about rude, and also that hardcore crush he’s got for the guy, you know? A shame he’s going to have to move though. Go to ground somewhere until the cops stop looking for him and all that, that he won’t get to see Ryan anymore but it’ll certainly be the smart thing to do.

And then Ryan’s like, “You’re kind of bleeding. A lot.”

Jeremy’s aware of that, thanks???

Ryan looks at the broom and dustpan he’s still holding and just sighs, because he, too, has this hardcore crush on Jeremy and also the whole medical professional business?

“If you don’t shoot me I could do something about that,” Ryan says, and waits until his words register with Jeremy, Jeremy lowering his weapon to set the broom and dustpan aside.

Waits until Jeremy puts the safety on and sets his gun aside and gives Ryan this crooked little smile he takes for permission before he gets the first-aide kit he remembers seeing in Jeremy’s bathroom. (Big old thing, obviously gets used a lot. Because reasons?)

When he comes back out Jeremy’s got sitting at his kitchen counter, got the lights on and everything and Ryan heads on over. Notices the gun Jeremy’s set on the counter a little ways away and while it should feel like a threat, it doesn’t?

Jeremy’s oblivious though, busy trying to get out of his jacket, but his injuries and the whatnot make that a whole Process, so Ryan has no choice but to help at this point.

“Need a hand?” he asks, because the last damn thing he wants is to spook Jeremy, do something he doesn’t like.

Sure, sure, Jeremy’s pretty easy-going most of the time, right? Bright and friendly and just overall great kind of guy, but this isn’t the usual scenario for the two of them and all that.

Jeremy sighs and gives Ryan this pitiful look, and Ryan snorts as he helps Jeremy out of his jacket, this horribly purple thing and up to that point he’s not been thinking about Jeremy’s fashion choices, right?

But honestly, the purple and orange with this pop of yellow is all-over horrible and he may or may not say something to that effect.

Jeremy huffs, because rude, and also it’s a fashion statement. (What kind he doesn’t say, and Ryan chooses not to ask because he’s not sure he’d like the answer?.)

Jeremy watches him work, Ryan muttering to himself here and there, and Jeremy amused by it because Ryan is personally offended by some quick patch jobs Jeremy did himself that are in various stages of healing. Crooked, uneven stitches that are a goddamned mess and infected and other atrocities. Just grumbles as he goes about dealing with those once he’s got the newer injuries fixed up and such.

When he’s finally done he just sits back and looks at Jeremy, all annoyed because what incompetent asshole has been stitching him up before this? Ryan wants names.

Jeremy is just grinning at Ryan because dear God is he an adorable asshole.

“That would be me,” he says, and doesn’t explain that he’s maybe been in trouble for the past few days. On the run from some enemies he made a while back and kind of forgot about?

Patching himself up in some shitty little safehouse somewhere and then more running and hiding and shootouts before he got rid of them for good and stumbled on home. (Was totally involved in that clusterfuck that had Ryan at the hospital for forever going from patient to patient with no reprieve.)

Ryan eyeing Jeremy because he suspected as much and is just.

“Alright then,” and assuming Jeremy doesn’t just kill him makes a mental note to teach Jeremy how to piece himself back together properly.

And then it gets a little awkward because oh, right, Jeremy might just do that?

But Jeremy’s not reaching for the gun or one of his knives or anything along the lines. Is just looking at Ryan with this dopey little smile and Ryan isn’t sure what to do with that?

So.He cleans up. Packs the first-aide kit back up and puts it back where he found it after he scrounges up some paper and writes down the stuff Jeremy’s going to need to restock plus a few things he didn’t have on hand that he probably should?

And then he comes out to find Jeremy about to fall asleep and bullies him to his feet and puts him to bed because he needs it?

Stands there and stares at Jeremy after the idiot falls asleep, the cats popping up out of the woodwork to snuggle him. Sighs as he closes the bedroom door and finishes cleaning up the mess the cats made while they were both out.

Stares at Jeremy’s gun on the counter for a long, long moment – he really should call the cops, do something about finding out Jeremy’s a damn criminal, but he’s too tired to deal with all that at the moment.

Cleans around the gun and dithers for a bit before he digs through Jeremy’s freezer and transfers one of the tupperware containers of leftovers out of Jeremy’s freezer to the fridge to thaw so he’ll have that on hand whenever he wakes up along with a note telling him to fucking eat, only more politely worded?

And then he grabs his bag and locks up after himself to go to his place down the hall.

Plans to take a shower and all that? (He’s got the next few days off thanks to the clusterfuck and extra hours at the hospital and plans to use them to catch up on missed sleep.)

But he’s so fucking tired and just passes out the moment he stops moving. (Sits down on his crappy couch to get his shoes off and all and bam, lights out.)

Wakes up to a blanket draped over him and note taped to his glasses that are on the coffee table, simple little thank you and something about food in the microwave?

And when his brain is kind of in working order again he gets up to check and finds one of Jeremy’s many, many tupperware containers of food and a smiley face on a post0it note and is like, huh.

Has no idea what to make of it, but he’s starving and Jeremy’s an amazing cook and since he didn’t kill Ryan in his sleep they must be okay???

So he eats the food Jeremy left him and then take a shower and deal with dirty laundry and other everyday things.

Runs into Jeremy on his way up from the laundry room and it’s this awkward little dance in the hallway – that thing people do when they try to slip past one another and keep going the same way and all that.

Jeremy still looks like shit, but less so, and Ryan’s in old sweats and his dork glasses and it’s just.

Weird?

And then Jeremy is like, “So, about the other day?”

Ryan expecting a threat to keep his mouth shut if he knows what’s good for him, but nah.Because Jeremy just wants to thank him for fixing him up and it’s the most awkward thing ever?

Somewhere in there Jeremy blurts out a thing about getting coffee sometime? And Ryan is just “I’m not much for coffee?” because awkward, and Jeremy is like oh, thinking Ryan’s trying to let him down gently, but!

“There’s this new burger place downtown?” Ryan says because dork who loves his food, and he and Jeremy had this whole discussion about best places to grab a burger around town and anyway, anyway.

Short story short they go out for a lunch date a few days later and that leads to other lunch dates and dinner dates (coffee a few times, even) and then all sort of things.

First kisses and so on and both of them head over heels for the other. Ryan patching Jeremy up when he does something dumb or someone gets the drop on him. Finally getting around to teaching Jeremy how the patch himself up that won’t leave scars, or much of one anyway.

And, you know.

Some situation wherein Ryan ends up as the Vagabond.

(Someone at Ryan’s work or one of their neighbors ratting the two of them out and Ryan in a tight corner – has to choose and of course, or course he chooses Jeremy.)

The two of them going on the ~run, leaving whatever city they’re in until they end up on Los Santos and it’s Jeremy’s turn to teach Ryan a few things since he’s in Jeremy’s world now.

Jeremy used to take him to the shooting range before things went to shit on them, brought him down to the gym and all that? Wanted to be sure Ryan could defend himself if something ever happened, you know? (And of course there was the whole thing where Jeremy would pin Ryan, grinning down at him until Ryan cheated like a bastard and kissed him to put him off-balance, reverse the tables on him and all that. Sexy wrasslingand all that, both of them laughing like dorks and so, so in love. Those times at the shooting range where Jeremy had to readjust Ryan’s grip on his gun and so on, get all up in his personal space and both of them super aware of it? The whole shebang.)

But now it’s a bit more serious because if they’re not careful they’re going to get themselves killed and Ryan’s a good student. Fast learner, and while he thinks the dumb mask Jeremy gets him as a joke is overkill he goes along with it anyway since Jeremy’s got his own face mask and Rimmy Tim bullshit going on.

Everyone in Los Santos hears about the Battle Buddies after a while, this Vagabond character and Rimmy Tim.

Look at Ryan as the bigger threat because of the skull mask and never really seem to pick up on the fact he’s really not? Like sure, he’s good at his job and all, but mostly a disaster.

Rimmy Tim’s the one to look out for, but since he insists on the horrible fashion choices and friendly nature they see him as the bumbling sidekick, and honestly?

That’s exactly what Jeremy wants.Wants people to underestimate him because they won’t see it coming when he puts a knife in their back. Will be looking to the Vagabond and forget all about him.

And while he’d rather Ryan not be in that position? It’s easier to protect him, counter intuitive as it might seem.

The Fakes pick the two of them up at some point, and it’s an uneasy situation for the two of them at first.

Yes it means bigger, better opportunities for them, but it also means these assholes have the potential to fuck them over but good.

Learn about the two of them if they’ll be working together. Find their weaknesses and exploit them, but it also, also means better protection for them too. (Everyone knows the Fakes look after their own and all that, but the Battle Buddies are a bit on the paranoid side of things at this point, so it’s a whole Thing, them settling into the crew.)

And then!

There’s a botched heist and the Ryan going to ground in a crew safehouse with Geoff and Michael. Geoff’s a little bit stabbed and Michael's a little bit beat up and eyeing Ryan warily because the Battle Buddies are still kind of a mystery to the crew, you know?

Ryan who ignores the way Michael's watching him as he goes to patch Geoff up, all, “Looking kind of rough there, boss,” and “I’ve got some experience patching people up,” and “If you lose any more blood you’re going be super dead, but sure.” when Geoff insists Ryan fix Michael up first.

And since Geoff would rather not be super dead he’s just fine, alright, fix me up.

So Ryan does, you know? Ropes Michael into being an extra pair of hands and tells them what he’s doing every step of the way, patient as hell with both of them even though they’re idiots?

And when Geoff’s as patched up as he’s going to get he deals with Michael who’s all fluffed up like Jeremy’s cats when they bring the vacuum out and all, but he calms down when Ryan continues on without batting an eye. (They assume, because he’s still wearing his mask.)

After they’re both patched up Michael eyes Ryan again because the moron’s bleeding a little bit himself, and offers to fix him up. Won’t do as good a job as Ryan’s done for both of them, but better than nothing, right?

Ryan’s a little surprised at the offer, but agrees. Talks Michael through the more serious stuff while Geoff watches them, all hmm because the rumors about the Vagabond don’t match up with this side of him, you know?

And after they get back to the penthouse and things go back to normal the others start to see it too, realize he and Jeremy aren’t that bad.

Time passes and the crew realizes that okay, wow, Ryan is in fact a disaster of a human being and while Jeremy’s not quite so bad they’re both the crew’s kind of disastrous, and then, idk, shenanigans?

#deleriousfromcoffee #ragehappy #jeremwood #battle buddies #fahc au #prompt fills #not!fic #technically not a fic #vagrant fic

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