#all they had to do was make it a gay tragedy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

adamsvanrhijn · 6 months

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this is obviously a very premature feeling but like. i want them to keep oscar on the show and i want his scenes to be tolerable to watch and if they go full realism on consequences here i am not really sure what direction they could take it that i would be able to appreciate as an audience member for whom he is blorbo... if he like. loses his job and is ostracized i don't know how they could justify keeping him on the show in a way that is both narratively meaningful and something i am comfortable watching. he does not need to suffer extended social or material punishment.

would rather they somehow magically manage to keep the details in the immediate family and that dynamic changes but his conflict with the society in which he lives is more internal for him — e.g. having to mentally confront what Could have happened to him and his family if ada had not come to the rescue and the thought of that combined with the changed family dynamic/relationship being shameful enough on its own that it changes his mindset and behavior without like. actually ruining his life

but all the people who are like. i want him to lose his job i want George Russell to prevent him from ever working in banking again i want him to be impoverished and humiliated and suicidal etc... could not be me, sorry

#i think it would suck actually if the main gay character's life is ruined and he has a terrible reputation and is beyond social redemption.#because at that point why keep him on the show.#especially when a substantial subset of the audience is going to experience schadenfreude about it.#i do not want anyone fictional or otherwise to be feeling schadenfreude about oscar sorry!!!!#no schadenfreude allowed.#the gilded age spoilers #i literally will not be able to handle it if there's on screen gossip about the situation at all it will make me want to die #also like. the rest of the family does not deserve that either and i am not interested in literally any of this going full tragedy.#if it's problematic of me to want the protagonists of the show i watch to retain their rich people social standing and Not have to #abruptly change their lifestyle then like. sorry not sorry #also while i don't think it's out of character for oscar i think it could have been explained better for the folks at home if social media #is any indication.#& it's not a choice they Had to make either so i reserve the right to be grumpy about them making it if it goes in a direction i dislike.#i am pretty much already at my canonical whump and secondhand embarrassment limit here!

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spoopy-sloth · 6 months

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I feel like I have to apologize for reblogging posts about Palestine to people who follow(ed) me for fandom content. In an ideal world, this horrific genocide wouldn't be happening and I can solely post silly things here. But I cant look away from what's happening, and if I can help in anyway, I will do it.

So I guess what I'm saying is sorry my blog isn't purely fandom 😭 maybe one day I'll make an art archive blog of my fan arts, but for now, you're in it for my headspace 😔

So yeah. Please take care of yourself if you need to filter or unfollow if you must. At this point, I just know I wont be stopping anytime soon but want to make sure you are also okay.

Okay? okay.

Thanks for reading. I love you all.

#personal #my text #this has been weighing on me for a while. i know it's my blog but the infj in me wants to make sure we are all taking care of our #mental health. i legit had to talk about this in therapy and was reminded that we are definitely not buillt for constant exposure to tragedy #i know i am privileged to say that. however activism is a choir for sure and i do want to say that im sorry that my blog isnt just gay #fandom but also snippets of what i think are super important to me.#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk

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arthur-r · 8 months

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also this song is hitting me in the face so bad right now i’m not used to wanting sexual autonomy that’s a new college experience and this song is ringing in my ears about it

#tell me baby baby do i walk like a boy do i speak like a boy do i stand like a boy sorry babe you keep asking #do i kiss like a boy should i spit like a boy may i fuck other boys????#idk. feels like disability and transness are trying to take me away from myself. and it’s a weird like #this is not a dilemma i’ve really had in the past?? like i was pretty happy with being infantilized and de-sexed #(that’s a lie it still feels bad shdhdf) but like i don’t know like i’ve never been LOOKING for attention like that but now it’s like #i dont know. like now im receiving it and i want it but it feels wrong #like i’m an attractive girl or like i’m a tragedy to be rescued and held close or like i’m a piece of fucking meat #depending who i am talking to. i just want to take the reins back i want to be the person who defines myself????#have never felt as strongly that i want to be a gay man. but im just being compartmentalized and it makes me uncomfortable #anyway i want to feel strong and competent. and soft and kind but i want to be a fucking man about it you know????#i want to be myself without that making me into a woman in other peoples minds. and i’m really struggling with that #straight men being into me = not fun. the gay guy who liked me was creepy and the bisexual guy im hanging out with worries me slightly #but that’s not his fault you know?? but like i felt so much more secure when i thought he was gay because now i can’t escape the idea that #he likes me in the way he likes women. and that’s internalized transphobia that’s externalizing into biphobia like it’s really not good #but it is. scary and weird. idk i kind of just want to go back and back up and save all of this for after midterms shdhdhf #i dont know. i’m gonna go to sleep for real now but the point is this is a good song and it’s the struggle i’m having right now #and it’s what i was feeling during my flare-up last week that made me feel so broken and disconnected from myself and my sexuality #i dont know. i really like the first guy and we should hangout later. i’m gonna have a nap and figure out later what i’m doing today #but yeah everything is just weird. my flesh to jail my soul i just feel like i could fall!!!!#in the meantime im just gonna focus on experiencing depression. and have a nap about it. wish me luck shdhdf #me. my post. mine.#delete later #friends only #nsfw-ish #????#ask to tag #vent cw #(sort of. just feeling weird)

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homunculus-argument · 1 year

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I think there's a real tragedy in the way straight men don't see themselves the same way that people who are attracted to men see them. If you ask a straight man to describe what an attractive man looks like, there's very little variety - the masculine male ideal is tall, broad-shouldered, square-jawed with a cleft chin and built of sculpted muscle. The stereotypical image of an Alpha Male, someone whom he could respect, and envy.

And sure, there are plenty of women, gay men and people of all sorts who are attracted to to this specific type, even exclusively attracted to it, there is so much more variety in this, both in the tastes and their subjects.

The stereotype of "hot wife, ugly husband"-couples was drawn from the observations of straight men, from their own perspective. Women going after men that men find unattractive makes no sense to them, and they figure that women are willing to overlook being ugly if a man's funny, smart or rich enough. If a woman insists that she's attracted to a specific man who isn't attractive by their standards, they'll assume that she's lying.

The tragic part is when a man who believes himself to be ugly grows bitter over this, developing a foul personality which people do find repulsive, and then uses their repeated experiences of being romantically rejected as proof that they're physically unattractive, insisting that surely women would overlook his heinousness if only he was tall and muscular enough, and had the right bone structure. The self-feeding vicious cycle of being a bitter incel is born.

The thing about "ugly men with a good personality can still be attractive" is that they're usually not even ugly. Some people do genuinely find fat and hairy men, thin and delicate men, short men and feminine men attractive. There's as much variety as in cheese, you can't compare aura to brie. And just like in cheese, as long as you're not toxic, somebody's into that. You just need to find the right wine to compliment it.

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hotvintagepoll · 1 month

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Propaganda

Jane Fonda (Barbarella, Sunday in New York, Barefoot in the Park)—Feminist icon, LGBTQ+ rights activist since the 70s, Civil Rights and Native American rights advocate, environmentalist… she really is THE woman ever

Rita Hayworth (Gilda, Cover Girl)—Absolutely, drop-dead gorgeous. She steals every movie she’s in; she was Fred Astaire’s favorite dance partner, as you can see in clips from their movies [link][link]. Born Margarita Carmen Cansino, Rita's story had its tragedies—her father was awful and had her performing in nightclubs way, way too young; the studio totally remade her look because they were afraid of her hispanic image, putting her through painful treatments and diets; she had a string of failed marriages. But beside all that, I think there's something about Rita that still glows through—an inner beauty that has nothing to do with the studio, or the men who pinned their dreams on her. Rita brings an incandescence to roles that's impossible to replicate, and was truly a great actress in that she could switch from herself—shy Margarita—into a bold and glamorous femme fatale so convincingly everyone fell in love with her as Gilda. She's my favorite movie star, and I think she was a beautiful human through and through—Rita, gorgeous and real and shining bright.

This is round 5 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Jane Fonda:

" I assume she's already been submitted but I gotta make sure. I think there's an element to movies like Barbarella or her segment of Spirit of the Dead of those having been directed by her husband, who famously made movies about her being hot, and the incredible costume design also helped, but good lord. Look at her"

"She was so pretty, dear lord! She was and still us stunning. She’s great at comedy and drama."

"Shes so hot im so gay for me i will let her hit me with hers car"

"Gorgeous and also still getting arrested at climate protests, which is sexy behavior"

"Watching her in Barefoot in the Park seriously made me, a straight woman, question things"

"PLEASE I LOVE HER SO MUCH"

"Her vibes in these movies are so interesting because she, the daughter of an Old Hollywood star, went on to make both poignant dramatic movies and the some of the silliest things you've ever seen but even in the silly space adventures and sexploitations there's always this undeniable gravitas to her. It's like she's able not to take herself very seriously but at the same time never stops having this grace and elegance and makes it all work together. And she's always been very politically active which is also sexy. Her famous mugshot is from 1970 so right at the cutoff mark but come on"

Rita Hayworth:

Do you need any other propaganda? Here’s the video.

youtube

She was not called "the love goddess" for nothing: beautiful, glamorous, despite playing sexy and provocative roles her inherent shyness somehow also would shine through sometimes, creating this contradictory and incredibly attractive image

Often played "the bad girl" who tempted the male hero away from "the good girl"; but did have roles that broke her out of that mold. She was also the inspiration for Jessica Rabbit. THE pinup girlie.

HELP

youtube

She was soo beautiful when she was young and she MAINTAINED that beauty into her later years and I think that old lady glamour is hot. bombastic sex appeal

every line she delivers in gilda is so flirty and passionate or absolutely desolate and it's so good

I just have a lot of feelings about her

#rita hayworth #jane fonda #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 5 #Youtube

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drchucktingle · 1 year

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misguided protectors of the trot

some unique ways are so overwhelmed by tales of woe that if you are joyful in your trot buds appear and say 'you cant exist you must be a parody'. it is amazing how hard it is for neurotypical cis straight buds to accept someone could just joyfully be queer and autistic

entire writing career has obviously had pushback from conservative devils but a few leftwing buds trying to police voices for special online points is always so eyerolling. 'chuck is homophobic a book about queer joy MUST be parody' 'chuck is ableist hes too aware to be autistic'

these scoundrels say ‘wait this is not dramatic tragedy about gay men overcoming discrimination? THEN IT IS NOT REAL QUEER ART’ or ‘wait your story about autism is not about how it was SO HARD but you finally made it when a neurotypical bud took you under their wing? FAKE STORY'

i am betting some who do this (sometimes literally to chuck over the years) will read this and say ‘well thats not me.’ and i have to say… ‘BUD IT IS YOU’. it might not be as obvious and you may think theres more nuance but THIS is the thought process just below surface

so what is point? point is: to all my well meaning leftwing buds, your love and care is appreciated but you do not need to police communities you are not in. support all you want but SUPPORT and POLICING are very different things. gatekeeping is not your job

second. work to accept that your buds CAN MAKE JOYFUL ART. they can also make STRANGE, SILLY, FRIGHTENING, SICKENING, PLAYFUL, or PUNK ROCK art. theres no one APPROVED way to express these perspectives, and if you are outside this community it is not your job to keep the gate

as time goes on and buds realize what i am doing with my creations these bad takes get rarer and rarer. i am DOIN VERY GOOD. my post is mostly out of concern for young buckaroo artists without a big following, who want to build something unexpected and strange and bold

let queer buckaroos write stories with happy endings OR terrible endings that make you squirm. let autistic buckaroos paint with joy and complexity or deep sadness and minimalism. the way these voices get tokenized is by insisting they need to have ONE SPECIFIC WAY

proving love is accepting that we all have our own unique trot, even you. ESPECIALLY YOU. get out there and create YOUR THING buckaroo. thank you for reading buds. LOVE IS REAL

#love is real #art theory #tingleverse #chuck tingle

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heretoreadmyfics · 2 months

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I’m sorry I have to rant here’s my falsettos rant (and this is not towards anybody, I’m not trying to be rude, this is just my opinion/observation)

I don’t like it when people sweep under the rug the AIDS portion of the show.

By that I mean mostly the jokes about it (“the show ends at what more can I say guys!! That’s the end!!”, “haha (insert Whizzer aids joke)”, “what do you mean Whizzer dies, they all live happily ever after and Marvin and Whizzer grow old together”)

And I won’t lie, I did it. I just recently got into the show and I did make those jokes- on one of my fics I got told to take down a Whizzer aids joke tag and I did, and it made me reflect on it

Because AIDS isn’t just a thing that the show made up- it isn’t just a “let’s kill Whizzer for shock factor” moment- it’s a real thing that real gay people had to go through for years. It’s a real tragedy. And I feel like when we joke about this kind of thing, we just make it worse for ourselves. It means something in this musical, and real life. It’s real and awful.

And I don’t wanna be the fun police obviously, I just want some people in this fandom to realize this aspect of the show.

#cy speaks #falsettos #I gotta main tag this sorry guys

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bengiyo · 10 months

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The Knowing: Being Queer in BL

I’ve been talking about The Knowing a lot lately with @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @ginnymoonbeam and @shortpplfedup and so I felt it was time to gather all those thoughts into one place.

I define The Knowing as “growing up and suffering with the knowledge that you are queer (specifically that you are not like other kids) and understanding that you must keep that knowledge to yourself.”

Part of what initially drew me to BL was how often many of these shows took place in what @absolutebl calls “The Bubble” where cultural and structural homophobia is less prevalent or nonexistent. Many of these stories are about guys learning something about themselves for the first time when it comes to being attracted to other men. However, I always find myself drawn to the characters that clearly Knew who they were a long time ago. What’s interesting about these characters is that many of them carry an intense sadness and loneliness that plagues them and their relationships.

I am in my mid-30s. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of language over the decades. When I first realized I was different from other kids I was eight years old. I was a lot like Chiron in Moonlight (2016) asking the question, “What’s a faggot?” I wish I’d had someone like Juan around to say, “A faggot is a word used to make gay people feel bad.” To which Chiron asked, “Am I a faggot?” and Juan quickly corrected. “Nah. You can be gay, but you ain’t gotta let nobody call you no faggot.” I know it’s hard for some of you to read slurs written out so plainly, but I grew up with them being part of the day-to-day language used by kids around me. If you instinctively recoiled at me typing the word four times, imagine experiencing that constantly for your entire adolescence while also fearing the consequences of being discovered by your peers. That’s what I survived. That’s what some of these boys survived.

Before I learned other words, I thought I was weird or broken. I knew I was drawn to boys before I even hit puberty, but I didn’t have language for existing on the ace-spectrum until I joined Tumblr in the early 2010s. Before that I just thought there was something wrong with me. When we see a character in BL who has clearly been gay for a long time, I find myself examining the environment around them to see if they suffered The Knowing.

The worst part of The Knowing is for the boys who can pass as straight if they try hard enough. I always talk about how I think femmes are stronger than those of us (like me) who can pass. They face the public scrutiny of being queer and the danger of that constantly. People like me often go unnoticed unless we’re amongst our peers or explicitly tell people who we are.

I’m writing this post as a love letter to the boys who suffered the Knowing. Sometimes these characters get a bad reputation in fandom for being boring or sad sacks, but they are the characters I love the most. I’d like to talk about some of my favorite boys who Knew. Unsurprisingly, the exact kind of melancholy Japan is willing to play with means they have strong presence on this list.

Korn (Until We Meet Again)

Korn is the character who began my discussion about this in a conversation with @wen-kexing-apologist about Kao’s acting. I pointed out that the saddest thing about Korn in Until We Meet Again is that he knew what he was going to do the entire time. The tragedy of UWMA is that Korn loved Intouch and let him in, and unfortunately learned that Intouch’s love couldn’t fix the horrors that plagued him. You can see it in Kao’s eyes for the entire show whenever we see the In and Korn flashbacks. He suffers under the weight of masculine expectation and crumbles.

The Entire Cast of What Did You Eat Yesterday?

WDYEY is all about characters who Knew. Kenji and Wataru may have been unable to pass and have chosen to accept who they are, but we know Wataru suffered for it because of his feelings about family. Shiro hid who he was for a very long time, and still hides it from most people. His trauma from The Knowing regularly threatens his relationship with Kenji. Kohinata also clearly knew who he was the entire time, and works diligently for the life he’s built for himself. So much of this show is about being gay in a world that does not value us.

Book, Christina, and Yok (Make It Right)

Book is actively victimized because of The Knowing. He left his previous school and doesn’t live with his family because he was outed by a past boyfriend, and is disowned after revenge porn of him is posted.

Both Chrstina and Yok are femme and cannot pass. Unlike many of the boys in this show figuring out who they are, they are trying to survive without losing themselves.

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

Li Ming has a gay uncle and still suffers The Knowing. He is hiding his attraction from everyone until he develops feelings for Heart.

Itou Akira (Life: Love on the Line)

We experienced the entire arc of this man’s life and how much The Knowing crushed him. This is probably the most The Knowing character on the list.

Oumi Mitsuru (Eternal Yesterday)

Oumi has such a frank expression of The Knowing and how much it hurts that he likes Koichi but feels like he can’t express it.

Takahashi Satoru (Koisenu Futari)

The man literally blogs about The Knowing, and it’s how Sakuko began to understand herself. He has a questionnaire prepared to help you figure out how long you’ve Known.

Ren (Tokyo in April Is…)

I wrote multiple posts about Ren and his experience with The Knowing. So much of what goes wrong for them is because Ren couldn’t believe that Kazuma could like him, too, and he knowingly faced the consequences of being discovered to save Kazuma’s life.

Pete (Love by Chance)

Pete knows who he is and can’t change it. Trump uses this against him. Pete doesn’t want Ae to be gay like him and suffer with the realities of being a Known Gay. Pete has one of the first coming out scenes in BL that I really enjoyed.

Cairo (Gameboys)

Cairo was clearly struggling with Knowing, and his close friend took his coming out from him. Cairo is a brat, but goddamn do I appreciate some of his angst.

See-eiw (My Only 12%)

He watched The Love of Siam (2007) and had a complete emotional breakdown as he was finally able to name his feelings for Cake. Top-tier expression of The Knowing.

Shin (3 Will Be Free)

I mean, we don’t have to look much further than his entire sad existence and being pushed into sex with a prostitute in the first episode. Also there’s, “It wasn’t that you didn’t like boys. You just didn’t like me.” Shin is the only boy in BL-adjacent media to suffer a specific version of The Knowing: being rejected and discarded by your own people in a homophobic way so they could stay closeted.

Phupha (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Phupha’s entire romantic angst is built around The Knowing and what others seeing him for who he is will do for him.

Pran (Bad Buddy)

Though Bad Buddy exists in The Bubble, Pran has one of the most painful versions of The Knowing I’ve ever experienced because his is wrapped up in family angst and an unrequited crush.

Lee Wan (Our Dating Sim)

Lee Wan suffered The Knowing and broke things with his best friend after confessing. The Knowing destroyed his ability to see a version of his life where he and Shin Kitae overcame the upcoming challenges together and so he takes that choice from Kitae. Crushing.

Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)

Minoru is so familiar with The Knowing that he preemptively breaks up with Yutaka after kissing him.

Kiyoi (My Beautiful Man)

The reveal that Kiyoi already knew who he was and noticed Hira the entire time? Beautiful. One of the best reveals in J-BL history.

Minato (Minato’s Laundromat)

This man is one of the sadder examples of The Knowing because he’s in a place where he understands who he is now, but the internalized homophobia cripples almost all of his romantic and closer relationships.

Han Baram (Sing My Crush)

This boy is suffering so much from The Knowing that his love confession song is literally titled “Letter of Apology.”

Oh-aew (I Told Sunset About You)

He Knew. “Are you proud of me?”

Noh Shinwoo and Shin Daon (Light On Me)

Noh Shinwoo clearly suffered The Knowing and was discovered. His bullies still plague him on the streets when they see him. Shin Daon was not surprised by his attraction to Woo Taekyung; he struggled with his parents expectations.

Nagisa (His: I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love)

Nagisa definitely Knew who he was and was probably going to stay quiet about it until Shun showed up in his life. What upsets me so much about Nagisa is that he is the one who leaves Shun later in the movie after pulling queerness out of Shun.

The Secret Crush on You Quartet

All four of them get a spot on this list for The Knowing. Toh, Kaojao, and Daisy clearly suffered The Knowing, and Som has clearly taken care of them for a long time.

Rocky and Judah (Quaranthings)

I love that these two explore The Knowing from a class perspective. Judah is wealthier and eventually comes out, but Rocky is poor and struggles with it a lot longer.

Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook (Where Your Eyes Linger)

The Knowing, bodyguard edition. The yearning between the two of these is palpable. It hurts that they can’t even talk to each other about it.

Mafuyu (Given)

He Knew and lost his boyfriend to The Knowing.

Kim Dong Hee (Unintentional Love Story)

He won’t acknowledge Go Ho Tae’s feelings because he feels a sense of loyalty to Ho Tae’s mom for taking care of him after his parents disowned him over the gay thing. Huge case of The Knowing.

Edit: New Additions October 7, 2023.

Nekoyashiki Mamoru (Kabe-Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized)

He describes a textbook case of the Knowing and finding community at the convention.

Zo (Hidden Agenda)

He definitely Knew, and got messed over by his friends badly for it.

Yuuki (Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend)

We almost lost Yuuki to the Knowing.

All of the Eclipse Gays

Literally all of them. The entire show is about how fascism turns queer people into agents working against their own community.

Joe (The Warp Effect)

He clearly Knew before his encounter with Army, and he also suffered for being outed.

#Ben writes #The Knowing #too many shows to tag #what did you eat yesterday?#until we meet again #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #korean bl #filipino bl

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absolutebl · 6 months

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This Week in BL - I'm All Over the Place, and so are the shows

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - The Jasmine flirting thing was so darn cute, I can’t. I love these two so much.

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Oh it’s great. Flirting. Fighting. Fate. Murder. Eventually we’ll add fucking. A trifffecta. I could do with a bit less training but whatever. And we have learned our boys are laboring under a geis. NO SINGING. Otherwise this ep was actually pretty flipping great.

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - Ooo kidnapping and the sides are suffering betrayal. Also Tew kills again. I like that they don’t shy away from the fact that he’s a killer and Guy was genuinely scared. And then Tew had to break up with Guy to protect him in Noble Sacrifice (tm). How Cdrama of him. Rough ep all round.

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - It’s not exactly good, but it’s better than I was expecting, and I tend to cut pulps a lot of slack out the gate. The plot is more interesting, Him is a sweetie (I like that in a seme) and our uke has both game and pluck. He’s a femme bitch, I LOVE that in a boy + we never get it femme in the lead. The acting is not great, sound all over the place, but there are no terrible sound effects, the soundtrack is okay, and our high heat came with a side of BJ + condoms, and no one has sung (yet), so I think I like it. It’s giving me Big Dragon vibes.

Linguistic moment:

Him used Him/ter for pronouns & ha. Very flirty. Nail used rao back a little bit of a challenge. (No pom and didn’t use his own name either.) Gauntlet thrown. Our baby ends up with rao/kao but I don’t think that’ll stick. Him is getting Phi out of him if it's the last thing he does.

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - The characters’ shared backstory is no surprise but I do like this show. Those little private smiles as they find family. Those lingering gazes as they find romance. Lovely. Also Shin wants to marry into Peach's family so bad, I’m reminded of Laurie in Little Women. All that said, it’s never the top of my list to watch for some reason.

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - How could I have forgotten how stunning Off is? Meanwhile… I love Gun’s character, he's so cute. But this show is a bit too comedic for me. I wish GMMTV were taking this script seriously. Sorry Neo et al I’m not sold on the sides. In general? I don’t love it. I don’t hate it either. In other news, I think I'll go make toast.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 14 - I love the sides and unholy amount and in general it was fine this week probably because I decided to do a trash watch.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 5 of 10 - I’m getting fatigued. Also holy random sex Batman. Where did these extra sides come from? I’m confused. Tonal pingpong going on, and not just in the shower.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 4 of 8 - Finally a direct confession Jade can’t avoid. Will things get a bit more serious?

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I don’t know why I watch this show, the acting is great, but it just makes me cry.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 3 of 14 eps - What a bonkers thing this is. Very kinky and also just odd. I do keep thinking about the pinks with it. Similarly, there doesn’t seem much glue holding this thing together, dried cum of course but not glue. And despite what some kinksters say, the one cannot replace the other.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Fake Love ep 15 of 24 - This is a weird installment. Too stalker and random blackmail for me. But not as bad as abuse and death, I guess?

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - Not much of a love triangle in the end (you just found out he is actually gay and broken hearted = an opportunity not a tragedy). Meanwhile I like that the high school break up was just mr insomniac's fault. He got jealous and angry and petty. No miscommunication just an asshole kid. I did find this show a little slow, even though it was your standard length KBL. Odd that. They are very cute boyfriends tho.

All in all:

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it. 8/10

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - It has the feel of a one act, with such a limited cast and location, which reminds me of KBL. Still watching these two quietly fall in love and process affection through their own art forms is sweet. This is a very soft gentle show.

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) - Toki, a delinquent but pure-hearted kid falls in love with his handsome phys-ed teacher, Sahara. This is very much my trope but very manga campy, which I don’t love. I’m quite torn. Toki is an idiot but a lovable one. But do I like it?

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even dimples can motivate me to watch. You can tell me how this goes if you can find it.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off. If told it's good, I'll binge.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes, so I'm waiting to binge if told it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

In case you missed it

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) finished. Adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who (nearly) dies and ends up cohabitating with an angel. I was warned that the ending would not work for me so I decided not to bother.

My Biker BL short movie from Wayu supposedly premiered Nov 27 on their YouTube Channel for Members to watch. I couldn't find anything further. The MDL description makes me think it's not for me so I bother.

Next Week Looks Like This

Short list of the December offerings.

12/9 Cherry Magic (Thai remake) YouTube 10 eps

12/9 Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) ??

12/14 Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) ??

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love these dudes so much, and make no mistake they def dudes. On point banter, my dudes. (Sign)

Yes they are cute but so far that's all this show has going for it. (Middleman's Love)

I'm a simple human, I just like seeing Off kneeing. (Cooking Crush)

(Last week)

#this week in bl #bl updates #A Breeze of Love reviewed #bl review #a breeze of love #korean bl #Last Twilight #Thai BL #My Dear Gangster Oppa #for him the series #gmmtv #cooking crush #offgun #off jumpol #Pit Babe the series #middleman's love #the sign the series

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cat-hesarose · 7 months

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Izzy Hands and broken promises

Now that I've had a day to digest the ending, I'm still in the "Izzy should have lived" camp but can better understand why it soured an otherwise great season finale for me.

Keep reading if you like rants about storytelling and queer catharsis from people with a Bachelor degree's worth of overconfidence and strong opinions.

Bar a handful of icks (Zheng Yi Sao getting outsmarted by Ricky, etc), I loved this season and don't see a wealth of problems that would not have been solved by two additional episodes. That said, Izzy's death is one of the things I can't see making any more sense if they had more time to explore his journey because his journey is what problematizes djenk's stated reasoning for his death.

In that one interview (and to be fair, we only have a brief window into his intentions as of right now), djenks positions Izzy as two things, specifically to Ed: a mentor and a father figure. And yeah, mentor figures often die. Their student surpasses them, or acquires a new narrative drive from their mentor's death to continue a quest.

Neither of these things feel like a fit for Izzy and Ed's dynamic nor their respective arcs. Neither does "father figure". Izzy was a love interest. He was described as a love interest. He confessed love to Edward. His mentor relationship was more established with Stede, if anything, who is an unreliable narrator and may well have been lying about Edward claiming that Izzy taught him everything he knows.

The journey that Izzy went on this season was parallel to Ed and Stede but it was with the crew. It's one big queerplatonic love story essentially, of him finding himself as an individual through the support they give and the space they hold for him. Season 2 Izzy Hands is, among other things, a love letter and showcase of the queer community's power to revive hope and purpose.

Izzy has the world's messiest breakup with Ed when they're both at their worst, and his healing begins with the crew of the Revenge. He only interacts with Ed again after bonding with, and growing through, the crew. So yes, it absolutely makes sense that his journey would proceed towards making peace with/saying goodbye to "Blackbeard". But it does not make sense that it would end there, with his death.

Djenks says that they're pirates, and people die. And yeah they do. But in the hand-wavy logic universe of OFMD it feels dismissive to say that about the death of a major character. And odds are, David "Izzy is my favourite character" Jenkins is not dismissive of Izzy, so that leaves tragedy.

My issue with that is, season 2 Izzy is no longer an innately tragic character. If you told me at the end of season 1 that season 2 would end with Izzy dying in Edward's arms telling him to go forth and change and accept love, I would've gone "that's sad but it makes sense." Because it would have, at the time. Season 2 Izzy departed from the trappings (so I thought) of the doomed fate of the bitter old repressed grimdark pirate when he put on the gold-painted wooden hoof and embraced his new role as First Mate of Stede Bonnet's gay floating kindergarten.

His death feels like a betrayal because, in a show that does queer characters Really Well, Izzy's arc feels like a broken promise. To say nothing of the politics of having a character attempt suicide, begin to heal, then say "I want to go" before dying, I wanted Izzy to want to live. It really felt like that was where his character was going, where his character was supposed to go.

Death for a character who is showing all this potential is only a natural ending in a tragedy. It isn't presented as peaceful or to punctuate another character's growth. Season 2 Izzy Hands had ceased to be reliant on and subject to Blackbeard. If anything, he was tied to the crew, who all stood back and felt much more removed from his death than they probably would have been if the show had more time to show their emotional responses. Having him die in Ed's arms, apologising for fueling Ed's destructive tendencies and encouraging him to be himself and accept love, feels like he got shunted off his new arc and back onto the old one. It feels like he went through all of that just to take a last-minute huge step back and re-subjugate himself to this character who does not reciprocate his devotion.

It makes me wonder if his death scene was one of the first ones written, before all that energy was spent giving him a new life and new connections and new, you know, new reason to live.

Anyway, that's how I feel about it. TL;DR Izzy's growth should have included LIVING HIS HARD-WON NEW LIFE and if I ever see djenks i'm going to cross the road and avoid eye contact.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd season 2 spoilers #izzy hands #storytelling #comedy and tragedy #why yes i am participating in #discourse #media literacy #fandomposting #stede and izzy should have fucked

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carolperkinsexgirlfriend · 17 days

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Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 114

Part 1 Part 113

It’s fully dark by the time they trundle into the trailer park. The sceneries nostalgic, almost. Steve at his side, his feet aching from too long upright, not another soul in sight. There’s no ash floating in the air, and no vines squirming on the ground, and the sky’s not an ominous red.

Will he ever be able to walk down this familiar stretch of street without thinking of that time?

He almost hopes not. Without the Upside-Down, when he and Steve ever come together like this?

Maybe it’s stupid, but he wants to hold onto those memories just as much as this one. They’re what got him here, holding Steve Harrington’s hand, floating past cloud nine and straight into the stratosphere.

His glasses are chock full of roses.

It’s a tragedy that he has to drop Steve’s hand to open and unlock the door, but he makes do.

Wayne’s on his recliner when they stumble through the door, holding a beer in one hand and the TV remote in the other. He glances away from the screen, double takes, then stares back, eyeing them both up and down with an eyebrow raised.

He takes a long, loud sip from his beer, then asks, “you boys have a fun night?”

Eddie glances at Steve, and it’s only then that he notices how disheveled they both must look. Steve’s lips are still swollen, and his hair’s fucked beyond repair. Steve’s eying Eddie in kind, making those same damning connections.

He looks worried around the edges, though, so Eddie does what he’s always done best: put on a show.

He turns to Wayne, hands planted on his hips and says, “Wayne, I’ve got something to tell you.” He reaches out, linking his hand with Steve’s once more. “I’m gay.”

Wayne snorts, coughing on his beer. It must burn because his eyes water as he gasps out, “you play too much, boy.” He wipes the overflow from his chin, glaring up at Eddie. “You finally figure your shit out?”

Eddie beams, squeezing Steve’s hand. “Stevie here figured it out for me.”

Wayne looks between them for a few seconds more before shrugging disinterestedly, says a flippant, “he’s my favorite son for a reason,” and then just turns back to the TV to continue flicking through channels.

And that’s it. That was all she wrote, and all that. The world just, keeps turning.

“Should we tell anyone?” Steve asks that night, curled up into his side the way he always is. “Besides Will?”

He pulls Steve closer, the fondness in his chest expanding to the point of pain. Will, who is a part of their fucked up little trio. Of course, they’ll tell him.

It might even help him come to terms with some things that were hard won, brutal battles for Eddie when he was Will’s age. Give the kid a little hope, and all that. Hope that there are partners better out there than Mike Wheeler, the turd.

Eddie hums, skimming his fingers up and down Steve’s arm. “Well, Wayne figured it out the minute he looked at us, that’s one down.” He holds up one finger before bringing it back to Steve’s arm and tapping it against it. “You told Carol, so that adds in her and Barb.” Fingers two and three, tap, tap.

“Jeff?”

“Oh, definitely Jeff.” Eddie raises a fourth finger, taps it once before unlocking his thumb so he can clutch Steve’s hand. He pulls it up to his own chest, pressing it to the beating of his heart. “He wants me to tell him about the Upside-Down.”

Steve’s quiet, and it’s too dark to read his face no matter how hard Eddie strains his eyes.

“Do you think I should?”

Steve sighs, digging his pointy chin into Eddie’s shoulder. “I don’t know, man.”

“Man,” Eddie cuts in, mockingly. “Your tongue was in my mouth like, ten minutes ago.”

Eddie’s body shakes with Steve’s quiet laughter. “Fine, whatever,” he huffs. “It’s not up to me, Loverboy.”

The nicknames got that same mocking edge Eddie himself had used. It still makes his heartbeat stutter in his chest.

“But I’m not sure this is a situation where not knowing would help them?” he continues, voice lilting up at the end like it’s a question. “I mean, it didn’t help us.”

Eddie sighs, letting himself melt into the springy mattress. Look at all of them. They’d left Carol in the dark, and she’d crawled her way into the inner circle by her hell-beast talons.

Stumbling around in the dark never helped anyone.

“I’ll think about it,” Eddie says, already knowing that its too late. The worm’s wriggled its way into his brain and made a home there.

But there’s an order to these things, and Will comes first, always. They clamber into Eddie’s van in the morning, ready to enjoy whatever somehow overcooked and overcooked concoction Mama Byers has made for breakfast.

Jonathan opens the door before they’re even out of the van. He leans against the door jam, crossing his arms and glaring hatefully out at them, still in his raggedy pajama pants.

“Johnny Boy!” Eddie calls, beaming as he bounds up to him, shoving past him to come into the house, uninvited. “You’re looking mighty cheerful this morning.”

“Sorry, I don’t have a cheerful face on for the early-morning uninvited guests,” he grumbles, stepping out of the way and letting Steve through with much less ire.

Eddie can’t blame him. Steve’s in his stupid yellow sweater looking soft and warm in the November air. Eddie can’t compete with that, doesn’t even want to.

“Is Will up?” Steve asks, in a far more appropriate volume for the early morning.

Jonathan gestures toward the back of the house before stumbling over to the couch and sinking into it.

Mama Byers isn’t anywhere in sight, and the house is quiet enough that their voices may carry. Eddie’s not worried. These people are his family, and more importantly, they’re Will’s.

If the wall’s have got ears, he couldn’t pick anyone better to be listening. He’d bare any bit of himself here, if Will needs him to.

Eddie grabs Steve’s wrist and pulls him along toward Will’s bedroom. It’s time to get this show on the road.

Part 115

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie upsidedown au #my fic #Eddie just thinks he's sooo sooo funny lol this is what he's like when too happy. just Relentless

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artiststarme · 9 months

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Things never really went to plan for one poor Eddie Munson. His fate was sealed from his very first breath, his life would be a tragedy. And so, the universe set out to make him suffer.

It was like all the cards in his life were stacked against Eddie. He was born to a Bonnie and Clyde type of couple with Bonnie running away from the commitment of a family as soon as she could. Dick Munson was all too betrayed by the abandonment of his partner in come and set to destroy everything he had left. He cut ties with his brother, turned to a bottle, and drowned the sounds of his son’s screams out with meth and benzos. It was only a matter of time before he was arrested from a robbery gone bad with enough drugs to keep him behind bars for life.

Poor Eddie was sent to live with the uncle he hardly remembered. He was thrown into a loving trailer in a town full of hate. The kids at school ostracized him the moment they laid eyes on him, his bruised eyes and shaven head spoke all too lowly of his character. If he were lucky, he’d only get a few jaunts and swirlies but if he weren’t, he’d arrive home with another black eye or limp to hide from Wayne.

High school wasn’t much better. Just like middle school, the kids and teachers alike hated him. He blew off school and started selling drugs underneath people’s noses to help Wayne with the bills that were drowning them. He did make some friends, other loners that craved friendship and togetherness they’d never received anywhere else.

It turned out that he was gay. He knew as soon as he saw Steve Harrington’s shirt come off in the locker room and knew he was fucked. He was already the outsider no one liked, it made sense that something else would come up to make him even more different than everyone else in the suffocating small town. The worst part wasn’t the fact that people might find out. It was the part where no one he would ever have a crush on would ever like him back, least of all Steve Harrington whom had girls falling at his feet and guys wishing to be him.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, his skipping school held him back and made him even more of a loser than before. Eddie truly felt like the dumb-as-shit trailer trashed that everyone always told him he was. So he stopped trying completely. He fell into a persona adopted from his favorite artists, focused on his music and DnD, and tried to finally enjoy his life.

Then he saw hell on earth in the form of Chrissy Cunningham’s twisted body hovering in midair and fracturing with horrific snaps. He ran like the coward the universe had trained him to be and made himself the prime suspect in doing so. Eddie knew that there was no possible way to go back to how things were before. As fucked up as his life had been, he’d still miss his early morning coffees with Wayne and campaigns with the guys. As soon as the cops found him, he would be as dead as Chrissy.

So, he followed the kids out of fear. He felt like he was living in some sort of fucked up lucid dream. His long-reigning crush was there shirtless in his battle vest, Nancy Wheeler was there with fucking guns (plural), Robin the band geek was handling explosives, and the redhead that lived across the street from him was hanging on the edge of life fully dependent on a Walkman blasting shitty pop music. What the fuck, how was any of this real? He didn’t fully believe it until he felt the pain accompanying the bat bites and heard Dustin’s cries begging him to stay awake. It was only then that he realized the universe had royally fucked him over once again.

He knew with his luck, or lack of it, that he wouldn’t be waking up from this nightmare. His eyes slid shut for the last time and all Eddie could think was at least things would be better now than they ever were before.

When his eyes finally did open to a hospital room filled to the brim with his uncle and new friends, a tear dropped from his eye and his chest lightened. From then on, he knew everything would be so much better.

It seemed the universe had decided to call a truce and abandon the tragedy that had plagued young Eddie Munson. From then on, he wouldn’t have fate darkening his days. With the Party at his side, Steve Harrington’s hand in his, and his uncle’s Garfield mug on the hospital side table, Eddie Munson’s life began anew.

#I really don’t know what this is #might be deleting this later but we shall see #I hope you guys enjoy it regardless!#stranger things #steddie #ish #steve harrington #eddie munson #fanfic #uncle wayne

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watchyourbuck · 1 month

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the second they made buck bi i watched the whole show for the first time, took a week, finished just before the latest episode came out. this obviously means i do not know my first thing about anything, most theories and fanon storylines included. what is the most important stuff that i need to know? the more deranged and delusional the better 🌸

lmao gotta love this ask. okay nonny let’s see.

the couch theory: right after Buck breaks up with Taylor, Eddie and Chris have dinner at his loft. they make fun of the fact that Buck doesn’t have a couch, and he says “my last two couches came with girlfriends — maybe I don’t wanna pick the wrong couch again.” we strongly believe the right couch is Eddie, and the scene itself is pretty, uh… hinting. I made a post about it.

the color theory: this theory stems from the fact that most of us believe the colors they are dressed in or are illuminated by (etc) aren't a coincidence, as in, we think different colors mean different things pertaining to their story and feelings. pls see our preacher on this subject @lover-of-mine <3 her posts are amazing

dad!buck: its a commonly accepted truth that Buck is not Chris’ uncle, but his dad. there’s not a lot of explaining to do, other than the man just loves Chris as his own, and clearly Eddie thinks the same, considering he added him to his WILL (insane behavior if u ask me).

shooting/lightening as direct parallels: Eddie getting shot and Buck getting struck by lightning are the two highlights of their individual and intertwined tragedies. there’s obviously other moments where they fear they may lose each other but these two are the biggest, most gut-wrenching ones. (these are their strings of fate, remember they both had to pull the other to safety).

buddie tends to parallel to every canon couple on the show: I’d have to pull up many receipts but, if you watch closely, you’ll see them. Bathena and Buddie both have water trauma, for example (tsunami vs capsized cruise ship), plus other more lighthearted ones like the Madney karaoke + the bachelor party Buddie karaoke scenes (7x06).

Edmundo Díaz is demisexual: and most likely gay. idk i didn't feel too comfy with the hyper-sexualization of Eddie on 7x05. but it’s more than that, obvi. that man was seen sleeping with Shannon, then with no one until Marisol, and i kinda believe Eddie getting out of the house to not have sex with her bc he felt distanced from her tells us a lot about him. he seems to only be able to engage in sexual activity should he feel something for that person.

I didn’t mean for all of these to be buddie coded, but alas, I’ve watched the show through their looking glass, and these are the theories that I’ve engaged with the most. for anyone reading, feel free to add more!💗

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soloorganaas · 1 year

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Sirius, bipolar disorder and 1981

I’ve held the headcanon for a while that Sirius being bipolar was a fundamental part of his breakdown in 1981, that led to him believing Remus was the spy and failing to prevent Lily and James’s deaths, as well as ultimately being the reason Remus was persuaded that Sirius (not entirely consciously) betrayed James and committed mass-murder. so I’ve laid out all my thoughts about this below

Sirius’s breakdown leading up to Oct 31, 1981

bipolar episodes of mania/depression are not responses to external events in the same way regular depression or anxiety are. they will inevitably happen at some point however stable your life is. however, a traumatic event can sometimes trigger a period of mania/depression that spirals beyond the actual event itself

there is no doubt that Sirius was experiencing compound trauma by 1981. there isn’t any specific canon as to when he became involved in the Order, but we know by this point he was deep in the fight and presumably had been for around a year or more. he was living with the constant, extreme stress of being in potentially fatal missions, as well as the risk of losing his loved ones who were doing the same

Sirius’s friendship with James and the impact the danger he faced had on Sirius during this period is fundamental to his breakdown. James was central to his conception of safety and stability. he rescued him emotionally and later physically from his abusive home, and gave him a new loving one. without James, Sirius doesn’t have a home - and therefore the world simply doesn’t make sense. there’s no doubt Sirius would have been living in absolute terror of having his world quite literally torn apart. this would have been magnified tenfold when the specific threat to Harry and therefore James and Lily became apparent, and Sirius had to watch as a war against a fascist terror group became a defense of his best friend’s family being hunted by an unimaginably powerful dark wizard

part of bipolar disorder is the subconscious knowledge that you will at some point crash. there is a sense of inevitability of your world falling apart, like constantly living in a movie waiting for the third act tragedy. for Sirius, watching his world quite literally fall apart, this would undoubtedly have triggered that underlying fear. he is expecting the worst, knowing that it’s going to happen, because it always has

Sirius believing Remus was the spy

Sirius’s struggle with bipolar disorder would lead to his seemingly irrational suspicion of Remus for two main reasons

first is that the chronic instability and tendency toward self-destruction that Sirius experiences as a part of bd is inseparable from his relationship with Remus. breaking up in the heat of manic or depressive episodes is a common bipolar symptom. Remus with his own trauma and mental health issues would never be capable of creating enough stability for the both of them as their relationship formed, and adding into that the struggles of being a gay man in the 70s/80s, they never developed a strong foundation as teens

so the second point is how putting this under the pressure cooker of war doomed them from the outset. without external support or stability, Sirius was always going to spiral down, and Remus would always be unable to cope. by 1981 Sirius is overwhelmed with fear over losing James and utterly unable to think rationally. he’s being pushed to the brink on Order missions. he’s convinced his the world is going to crash down around him. he’s lashing out at the people closest to him and destroying things just for the misguided feeling of control. Remus is watching this happen but is also swept up in his own chronic terror and mental instability, and is utterly unable to understand what Sirius is doing or going through, let alone try and stop it. they are both crashing down around each other, with the very fear they have of losing each other tearing them further apart

at some point I think Sirius simply convinces himself its Remus - because he’s the one hurting him so much with his own part in destroying their relationship, because if anyone is going to tear his world to pieces it would be the one he’s most vulnerable to, because if you want to bring about the destruction by yourself of course you’d pick the person you can hurt the most, because the world is stealing everything from him so of course it would still the one beautiful, tender, miraculous thing he has

Remus being persuaded Sirius betrayed James and Lily

I’m writing ‘persuaded’ deliberately, because there is no way that Remus would instantly believe Sirius could betray James or even murder Peter and a crowd of muggles. they had been friends for over ten years, living in each other’s pockets and they knew each other inside and out. they had built incredibly deep and meaningful bonds as a group. Remus would struggle to believe that Sirius could kill Peter, but he may in the end come to accept it. but he could never, ever have watched Sirius and James for ten years and believe he would consciously betray him

instead, I think Remus came to believe through the persuasion of others (Dumbledore specifically, particularly if you go with the idea he had an interest in keeping Sirius in Azkaban) that Sirius had a breakdown and acted with such reckless self-destruction he inadvertently brought about James and Lily’s deaths. Remus had been dragged down in Sirius’s spiral for a year or longer; if they were by that point together, he would have seen Sirius at his most vulnerable and raw, and understood better than anyone his capacity for manic, irrational self-destruction. he’d seen Sirius do similar things the entire time he’d known him - the prank, for example, which easily fits into a similar theme. Remus knows Sirius is capable of this, he knows he was truly out of his mind with fear

and I think that’s where the anger comes from (aside from fury over him murdering Peter and other innocent people) - that Sirius had spent so long causing harm and never ever learned, that he’d refused to confront his own demons and take responsibility for his destructive tendencies, and in the end it had torn their worlds apart. the fire that had made him so passionate, so full of life, so brave, so loving and so devoted had also made him uncontrollably deadly - it’s not hard to imagine that when Remus more than anyone experienced one side so intensely, he could imagine what the other could lead to

I, personally, don’t think even in a manic state Sirius would ever come close to betraying James. but I think that for Remus, a terrified, traumatised 21 year old who’d lost both his parents and his best friends, had spent three years caught up in a war between two sides that both wanted him dead, and had watched his relationship with the love of his life break down in front of him, it’s a realistic conclusion to come to

Conclusion

mental health issues are intrinsically wound up with Sirius’s story and the tragedies he experiences. i think it’s a disservice to his character to overlook them, especially when fic takes only a shallow look at the sadder, messier parts of his life because it has a tendency towards simply trauma porn. bipolar disorder is my particular headcanon, and I’ve detailed a strong argument for it, but there are plenty of other valid interpretations as well. whichever way Sirius is written, though, at least complying somewhat with canon, the impact of mental health on the complexity of his character and story can’t be overlooked

the other side of the coin to this tragedy is the beauty of Sirius’s escape, formation of his relationship with Harry, and his reunion and reconciliation with Remus. Sirius’s fiery mania is turned into a positive, enabling the incredible feats of breaking out of Azkaban, and living on the rough for two years whilst evading the Ministry’s hunt. it also of course sees older, wiser versions of Sirius and Remus who can look their own and each other’s demons in the eye, face up to them with honesty and courage, and build the relationship they should have had all along.

#i am Sad #and deep in my PoA feels #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #bipolar disorder #bipolar sirius black #ch: we choose who we really are #hp #hp meta

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small-giggle · 3 months

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underablanketofstars -> living-my-ghibli-dream -> small-giggle

i change my photo a LOT oops

intro post✨

(flashing colous at very bottom)

call me angel or jelly

please dont use capitals for my name

im a minor (14-17 range)

i use it/they/she pronouns

i am lesbian asexual

TAKEN😁 ✨🦐🖤🎶🏳️‍🌈

birthday is september 22

side blog is @dyke-angel

currently watching ghibli movies AND SEINFELD (i love that show to death) and atla

im obsessed with jellyfish

verryyyy chaotic and silly (however when im in a bad mood i will be kinda blunt (sorry in advance))

my favourite cores are liminal and cottagecore

music taste: angus & julia stone, AURORA, beabadoobee, beach bunny, beetlebug, bjork, cavetown, chloe moriondo, conan gray, holly humberstone, june henry, king princess, london grammar, lorde, matt corby, mitski, montaigne, mother mother, rainbow frog biscuits, ratwyfe, rio romeo, roar, tally hall, tash sultana, the cure, the crane wives, the killers, tv girl, WILLOW

i have depression, anxiety, ocd, adhd, and i have undiagnosed autism

pessimist

i hate myself loll

celeb crushes for shits and giggles: sadie sink, malina weissman, zendaya, sophia lillis, aurora aksnes

📍australia (nsw)

heres my spotify

heres my pinterest

heres my apple music

discord is smallgiggle

free palestine!!! 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

my askbox is open for anything, from just being goofy to needing to vent to asking me questions (it can be anonymous, i dont mind)

i do participate in tag games and tag asks, but occasionally i might not, depending on the mood i am in

if i dont respond to your ask it means i probably havnt seen it, or i love it too much, or i havnt had time to respond

i will tag generally with #/angels asks! (or) #/angel rambles (or) #/yap yap (or) #/angel makes a poll (or) if its school-related with #/angel schoolposts (or) if posting loz content i will just use #/loz posting (or) sometimes its specifically about horses IN loz so then #/loz horse posting

DNI list

over 25 unless i interact first

nsfw

transfobic, homophobic, anti-gay at all

p3d0

racist, sexist etc

sure im chill, but guess whos super cool?

@urlocalsadkid-l @deetealeaf @astridcookie @treasure-goblin @ali-da-demon @catinasink @that-multi-fandom-hijabi @idonoiyo @amethyst-aster @aspenii @i-must-confess-i-am-an-idiot @oliiiiiiiiive @neoncopy @warwithoutreason @island-of-stars @twoshotsoflesbianism @sagaofa-dying-star @autism-criminal @maximum-tragedy @bloophasarrived @boob-gremlin @st4rfish10 @rose-bug-bear @hadoom @im-on-crack-send-help @forever-bi-panic @killerdinosourusrex @neededset

AND @mybedroomceilingsbored MY BESTIEE

The sky is so tragically beautiful. A graveyard of stars.

#angels intro #yap yap #angel rambles

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