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daughterofcain-67 · 11 months

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🅦hαt 🅞ncє 🅦αs 🅜ínє (pt.2)

(Dean Winchester x Reader)

(Part 1) (Part 3)

𝐬��𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After a phone call from Jodi, Dean decides to go see you in hopes to make things up to you. You debate on whether or not he should know about his daughter.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: None other than a mention of some spoilers

The sound of one of Dean’s Black Sabbath cassettes rang through the Impala as he focused on the road. Jodi had been in contact with Y/N? Why didn't Y/N reach out to him? Or even Sam?

That phone call from Jodi was unexpected and Dean still didn't know all of the details of everything. All Dean knew was that Y/N was working at some Walgreen's several towns over from Jodi and now she was living with Jodi after they reconnected while Jodi was on a hunt one weekend.

"Dude, why are you so tense about this?" Dean heard his little brother ask. You know for a guy that's supposed to be the smarter one of the duo, he definitely had his blond moments once in a while. But then again, Dean hadn't had the time to lead on how worked up about you leaving he really was.

"It's just.. when she left it wasn't exactly on the best terms, okay? Let's leave it at that." Dean answered and Sam raised a brow. It was a look from the younger brother that seemed to say 'maybe we shouldn't leave it at that' but Sam knew it was an issue between you and Dean and honestly- the younger hunter wasn't sure he would even know how to help fix things if Dean told him everything.

"Well maybe that's why Jodi called you in the first place. I mean it wasn't a secret to anyone that she cared about you. Maybe Jodi thought that now would be a good time for you to talk about whatever that fight was. I mean it's been a year, and I think that's a long enough time without reaching out."

Dean listened and tightened his jaw. It was a little annoying how much sense Sam made sometimes. It was partly the reason why Sam ended up being the one taking on these trials anyways, and Dean still hated the idea because in his mind it was his job to keep Sam safe - even if they were in their 30's.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point." Dean finally replied but his gaze was still fixed on the road ahead of him to get to Jodi's.

"You asked him to come here?" You asked Jodi with a bit of an upset tone. You weren't prepared to see Dean, and a part of you didn't want to after what happened when you left. He wanted you gone and you wanted to stay away.

"Y/N you need to be real about this. It's been a year and you need to talk this out. Plus, don't you think Dean has a right to know about his daughter? He's already lost three months with her." The sheriff pointed out as she sat next to Y/C/N and watched her play while she was on her tummy.

"Dean was the one that said he never should have brought me along. And even then maybe he shouldn't know about Y/C/N. Not because I don't want him to - but because both of the boys have enough on their plates almost constantly. He couldn't handle having a baby around even he wanted her. It'll only add on to his stress and that's honestly the last thing he needs." You sat down with Jodi and your daughter.

"That's a little unfair though, isn't it? He deserves at least a chance. Having a kid causes stress to anyone whether they're a hunter or not. It's hard being a parent and it can be challenging and its frustrating. Trust me, I would know. But on the flip side, having a child brings so much joy. Their smiles give you a reason to go on. They'll make you laugh, make you cry, make you feel proud. I'm sure you've felt some of those things already as a new mom." You nodded as Jodi spoke and looked at your daughter.

"Don't you think Dean deserves the chance to feel all of those things too? Don't you think Y/C/N deserves to have a father in her life?"

You continued to listen and you started to think. You remembered a time when Dean would talk about walking away from hunting and how he tried that with Lisa and Ben. You remembered how he would think it would be impossible to retire and have that fabled 'Apple Pie' life again. Then you started thinking about your daughter. You knew she would be better off if she had two parents. At least you hoped that would be the case anyways.

You watched as Y/C/N lifted her legs a little and tried her best to get on all fours so she could crawl or at least sit up. She had that same exact look of determination that Dean gets on his face. You knew Dean would raise her up with Rock and Roll and Scooby Doo, and you knew she would be all for it.

"We'll just have to see how he even feels about all of it. Who knows what kind of chaos both the boys are going through. If Dean thinks he can handle having a baby around amongst all of everything then we can talk about it." You said after a few moments with your thoughts.

"How long do you think it will take for them to get here?" You glanced over at Jodi as she started getting up and she walked over to the coat rack to get her jacket.

"Well, I gave him the call last night around midnight our time. I wouldn't be surprised if he and Sam were on the way right after the call. So maybe they'll be here sometime this afternoon or this evening if they don't stop." Jodi replied as she finished putting on her jacket and got ready to go to the station.

Your heart nearly flipped at the idea of Dean being that eager to see you again. But you had to force yourself to remember the fight so you wouldn't get too excited. You couldn't afford to have your heart so eagerly on your sleeve for Dean Winchester again.

"I see. Well, can you think of anything you would want for dinner tonight? I was thinking about going to the store and picking up some groceries anyway." You tried to change the subject and Jodi just smiled and chuckled.

"Make whatever you'd like. But don't forget the pie for the boys." She said, knowing Dean would eat most of the pie rather than Sam.

The evening came and after you fed your daughter and gave her a bath, you put her to bed in her crib in your room and she was fast asleep. Now you were in the kitchen making dinner for that night since Jodi was on her way back.

'What do I say? How would I even bring her up? Maybe it can just wait a while. Maybe he wouldn't warm up to the idea of kids after all.' Your mind was going a mile a minute as you started making some pasta. It was something simple and low energy to make and you were grilling some chicken with it.

But the more you allowed yourself to over think about it all, the more you gave yourself a headache. Your stomach was churning with the wave of anxiety because it's been so long since you've seen the Winchesters. A part of you wondered if you should even be feeling this way.

After all, if Sam said you shouldn't have been brought along and if they thought you had been such a hindrance to them, then why should you even consider the hope of hunting with them again? You were a mom now and you were with Jodi so now you had help. You didn't need the boys - even if you desperately wanted to be with them again. Especially Dean.

You heard the door open and you assumed it was Jodi based off the laughter that you hear but you also hear more than just her footsteps. You hear two other sets of footsteps followed by an all to familiar voice.

"You should've seen the time when Sam was bringing some groceries to the bunker. He slipped and fell and the milk dropped on the stairs and practically exploded everywhere." Dean laughed and you assume the brothers were telling embarrassing stories about one another to catch Jodi up on their shenanigans.

"I swear I had a bruise on my back for like a month. And its not easy going down stairs with bags blocking your view of where you step." Sam said and rubbed the back of his neck, a little embarrassed to say the least. "Plus you should've seen Dean with the pie prank."

"A pie prank? What did you do, Sam?" Jodi asked with a chuckle as she took off her jacket and placed it on the coat hanger.

"It wasn't a prank, it was the work of Lucifer." Dean said with so much annoyance in his tone.

"It was more like a work of art, really," Sam said with a smile before speaking again, "Dean wanted a pie one night. Nothing too out of the ordinary about that because it's Dean. Well I got him some pie and while the rest of dinner was being cooked, I mixed some hot peppers in with the pie filling."

Jodi laughed and Sam joined in when he reminisced on the prank he played on his older brother, "He went through three bottles of water. I swear he has almost no spice tolerance."

"Not when its ghost peppers like what you mixed in the filling." Dean remarked but he cracked a grin nonetheless. It was a memorable moment for sure and it was some joy for Sam in the downtime of their constant hunting and world saving.

"Oh you boys. Even with all of the jobs you've got it's nice to know you two still have fun with each other once in a while." Jodi smiled as she started walking into the kitchen. She motioned for the boys to follow her and so they did.

"Smells good in here, Y/N. Whatcha makin'?" You heard Jodi ask and when you looked over you smiled at Jodi.

"Some chicken alfredo." You answered and that was when you saw Dean walking through the door with his brother.

You swore that your heart stopped that you saw Dean and both of you instantly locked eyes. He was just as handsome as the day you left. He was really there with his brother. What were you supposed to say to him first? But you knew that you needed to say something to both of them.

"Hey, guys. Make yourself at home." You said and turned around so you could break your gaze from Dean and focus on the meal so nothing could burn.

Jodi and Sam looked at each other and Jodi watched as Sam gave Dean a little nudge to go talk to you. Then, Jodi and Sam went to the living room so they could talk.

Dean looked over and he saw that the other two left, then he looked back at you. He gulped a little before he started to walk over. It was odd. Dean has faced monsters, demons, angels, and yet he was hesitating on a simple interaction. Then again, you held a special spot in his heart and the fact that he pushed you away was holding him back. You had to still be angry with him right?

"Y/N, I.. You look great." He said and you could tell that he was struggling with where to start.

"Thanks. You haven't changed much." You replied and focused on the stovetop. You heard the way Dean sighed before he carefully reached out and took a careful hold of one of your hands and took the utensil form you. Then he turned the burner down.

He looked down at you and you refused to meet his gaze at first. But he gave your hand a soft squeeze before he started speaking.

"Y/N, I think you know why I'm here. I wouldn't put it past Jodi to let you know I was coming." He said and you shrugged slightly before you slowly lifted your gaze up at him and you took your hand away from him.

"I knew you were coming. I didn't really ask why you would travel all this way." You answered and crossed your arms a little, trying so hard to stay guarded.

"You haven't thought at all about the last night we spent at that hotel when we fought? Haven't thought about the argument? Because I have and if I could take everything back then I would. And you aren't exactly making things easy by being stand offish." Dean said.

"Dean, you can't just come over one night and expect everything to be fine and dandy just because you feel bad about what happened. What you said really hurt that night. Your problem is that you just don't think before you open your damn mouth. I know I wasn't there for a lot in the beginning and when Cass first came onto the scene. I know I came into your lives a little late but I turned out to be a pretty damn good hunter. Me caring about you didn't make it to where I was in the way. It made it to where Sam wasn't the only one looking out for you when Cass wasn't around. You were the one that messed up. And boy, you messed up big time."

"Don't you think I know that? You're right, I don't always think before I speak. And I regretted what happened everything I said the second after I let it slip. And I regretted it ever since you walked out of that door, alright? But ever since I got the call from Jodi that you were with her, I knew I had to see you again to at lease apologize even if you wouldn't listen."

"Then show me that you regretted it. Show me how badly you wish you could have taken everything back." You dared as you looked at Dean. Dean didn't hesitate this time around and he backed you up against the counter.

He lifted his hand and cupped your cheek and started to lean closer and closer until...

You suddenly hear your daughter crying upstairs. You saw a change in Dean's eyes as he backed up from you a little. You thought your mind was racing before: it was nothing compared to this moment. What could possibly be going on in Dean's mind now?

"Y/N? Is there something you need to tell me?"

Thank you guys for reading!

Feel free to let me know what you think! The feedback really helps a lot! Planning for a part three soon! Hope you enjoyed!

Tag list:

@chriszgirl92 @wildernessflora

#jensen ackles #dean imagine #dean winchester #supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester imagine

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case-almost-closed · 5 months

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Maybe in another life

Akai Shuichi x fem!reader Words: 2.5K A/N: Not really satisfied with this one but it won't get better

It was a beautiful day. The sky was bright blue, a pleasant light breeze was blowing through the warmed but still bearable streets and the sun was shining so brightly that not even the tinted windows of the car you were sitting in could dampen it. It was a perfect day all round and it couldn't have been more out of place.

For several minutes now, the car had been parked on the side of the road with its engine switched off, waiting for its drivers to leave, but you seemed to be trapped in a trance, unable to break free. Children and their families passed by the side of the road, laughing and playing with their parents, older couples walked slowly and leisurely hand in hand and several young couples clung to each other arm in arm, seemingly inseparable.

The sight of them drove a knife into your heart, which you had been convinced could no longer feel anything. After another couple walked past your window, carefree and happy, you couldn't take it any longer and turned your gaze forward. This caught the attention of your driver, who was looking at you through the rear-view mirror.

"Are you ready?" You lowered your gaze to your hands, which you had wrapped in black gloves to match the rest of your outfit. "No." Your voice sounded rough and hoarse, torn apart from crying and screaming, but neither you nor he cared. "But I don't think I'll ever be ready Andre."

The man nodded understandingly and got out, walked round the car and opened the door for you, holding out a hand to help you out, which you gratefully accepted. It might not have been the case yet, but you weren't sure if you would be able to walk all the way. Andre closed the door behind you and held out his arm so that you could hook yourself in.

"Let me know if you don't want any more, will you?" Shakily, you exhaled and clung to the FBI agent's arm, because right now it was the only thing keeping you from collapsing on the floor in a crying puddle.

Slowly, step by step, rather than accompanying you, Andre led you to the entrance of the cemetery and with every step you took towards the cruel reality, your heart grew heavier and heavier and tears welled up in your eyes again, even though you had been sure you had none left. Oh, what you would give to travel back in time just to feel his arms around you one last time, to see his little smile and hear the oh-so-rare laugh he sometimes gave you.

You had spent the entire flight from America to Japan in silence, immersed in memories, as if they were bringing him back to you. You could still remember the exact moment when you received that fateful phone call.

Even before James had spoken the words that were forever engraved in your heart, you had known that your husband would never come back to you, you had heard it in how softly and calmly James had spoken and yet he too had sounded choked with tears. You could still remember the feeling of all the air being squeezed out of your lungs and were still able to feel the scratch in your throat from the scream you had let out.

And even here, in Japan, you hadn't been able to do much more. Most of the time Andre, and sometimes Jodie, had sat next to you, either on the sofa, the bed or the floor, while you had burst into tears, rocking yourself back and forth and telling yourself that it couldn't be true. He couldn't be dead. He'd been through so much already, he'd hardly die from one lousy bullet. And yet he had done just that. Akai Shuichi had left his life through a bullet, an object he could handle like no other, and had taken yours with him.

You had put it off for as long as possible and yet you couldn't put it off any longer: You had to visit your husband's grave at least once to say goodbye to him - even if you hadn't been able to attend the funeral. So, with a voice choked with tears, you called Andre Camel, who arrived at your door a short time later to pick you up. And you were grateful for him. Andre had always been a loyal and good friend to you and you knew that Shuichi had made him promise to look after you if anything happened to him. He didn't push you, was patient and gentle and more than once you had caught him with a few tears rolling down his cheek. Andre Camel may look big and scary, but deep down he was a gentle soul with a heart of pure gold.

He slowly led you past the graves and you felt like you couldn't breathe. You knew Andre was looking at you with concern, but you smiled narrowly at him, hoping to reassure him. It didn't really work. "We're almost there, almost there," he murmured to you and you could feel panic rising inside you. You weren't ready for this yet, not ready to face the reality that yes, Akai Shuichi was dead and he wasn't coming back. Andre seemed to sense what was going on inside you and slowed his pace. "Do you need more time?" You gasped and looked down at the ground, hoping to catch your breath, and shook your head. "No. If I stop now, I'll never make it." That was all you could force out from between your teeth, but it was enough for him.

Andre nodded slightly and patted your hand gently and understandingly, leading you further down the path. The gravel crunched under your feet, but all you could concentrate on was your pounding heart and the tears that were burning in your eyes and threatening to spill over. All of a sudden Andre stopped and you stiffened instantly, your gaze fixed stubbornly on the tips of your feet. You were there. Your breathing quickened. You were not ready, but as you had already explained to your companion, there would never be a moment when you would be truly ready. And yet, you had never found anything as difficult as lifting your eyes and looking down at the gravestone at your feet.

It was a plain, black stone with not much engraved on it. The dates of his life. The words "A friend, spouse and great man." A quote. "Fear of death is worse than death itself." You knew it was from Shuichi, after all, he had said it to you often enough when you were worried about him. It didn't have his name on it, but someone had had some green stones set into it. Green, like his eyes. Now you couldn't hold back your tears any longer and allowed them to roll silently down your cheeks. "We left his name out. We didn't want his enemies to find out. Let him rest in peace."

Andre sounded more raspy than usual and when you looked up at him, you could see that the giant also seemed to be struggling with tears. You gently put your hand on his arm, only to let your head rest on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," he sobbed quietly. "I shouldn't be crying, I should be standing by you. He was more important to you, but…" "Shhh," you mumbled, blinking as a tear got caught in your eyelashes. "Who are we to decide which connection, which relationship is more important? He meant something to you, just as he meant something to me. You have your right to grieve, Andre. We all do."

He nodded and sniffled before defiantly wiping the tears from his face. "I'll give you a moment, wait by the car. If you need anything, call me." You nodded and only after he hugged you tightly to him once more did he turn and leave.

Silently, you listened to his shoes digging into the gravel while your gaze was fixed on the surroundings. It was a little out of the way from most graves and set right under a cherry tree. It would be a pain to keep the grave clean, but you didn't care right now. It was quiet and peaceful and you knew Shuichi would have loved it.

Tears dripped onto the headstone as you squeezed your eyes tightly shut, forcing the tears to escape your eyes. "You idiot." Your voice was no more than a whisper. "You absolute moron. I told you 'Don't go to Japan'. I told you 'I have a bad feeling about this'. But did you listen to me? No. And look where that got you." You let out a teary, agonised laugh. "You promised to slow down, Shuichi. You had promised. For me. For us."

Suddenly you could no longer hold yourself up and fell to your knees, tearing your tights, but you didn't care. An irrepressible and irrational rage spread through you and suddenly you felt the need to scream out your frustration, your sadness and your fear so that the whole world would know about your suffering and would have to suffer with you. "YOU PROMISED!!!" Sobbing, you broke down and buried your face in your hands, more or less silently cursing and swearing at him.

In your mind's eye, the last moments you had with him danced over and over again.

"Don't worry," he had said and kissed you on the forehead. "It won't take long. And I promise, after that it really is over. After that, there will be no more overseas missions and dangerous assignments. After that, it's just you and me, just us. I promise." He had put his hand on your waist and moved his hands to your stomach.

It had been no secret that the two of you had considered starting a family and after this assignment, he would have been ready to settle down. Shuichi may not have seemed like a family man at first glance, but you knew better. And after the job, he had promised to devote himself entirely to his family. Except that there would be no 'after'.

You had run out of curses, which is why you were now just trembling in front of his grave. You had no tears left as you pressed your hands to your stomach and tried to suppress the nausea that was rising inside you. "It worked." Your voice was low and bitter and you knew he couldn't hear you, but you wanted him to hear it, so desperately. "We didn't have to keep trying, Shuichi. I am pregnant." The words hung heavy in the air. When you had held the positive test in your hand, you had been overjoyed and had already imagined Shuichi's surprised face. Two days later, James called you.

The thought of raising this child scared you like you had never felt before. You were alone and not sure if you could do it. But as you crouched in front of his grave, you knew that you would make it. If only for Shuichi's sake. This child was all you had left of him. "I will raise it, even if I have to do it without you. I know Andre and Jodie and maybe even James will help me. This child will be the most loved and protected child in the world, I promise you that."

Painfully, you closed your eyes. It was time to go. If you stayed any longer, you weren't sure if you would ever have the strength to stand up on your own.

Gently, you leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to the gravestone. It must have looked ridiculous, but you didn't really care. "I love you Akai Shuichi. And I will see you again, even if I have to wait decades." You stood up with difficulty. You knew that Andre, who was the only one who knew about your pregnancy, would probably have preferred it if you had called him, but you were perfectly capable of doing it on your own. You turned round to face the grave one last time and for a moment you thought you saw a shadow out of the corner of your eye, but your subconscious must have been playing tricks on you. "See you soon, my love." You finally turned round and walked back to the car, one hand still pressed to your abdomen, where Andre was already waiting for you.

~**~ Shuichi heard you get into the car and drive away, however he was unable to move from behind the tree he had been hiding behind. He had only wanted to catch a glimpse of you before he went into hiding for good, but he hadn't expected it to be so hard to see you. He had heard you cursing and crying and he would have loved to come out, wrap his arms around you tightly and apologise for all the grief he had ever caused you. But he couldn't, not if he wanted to protect you, which is why he had leant silently behind the tree with tears in his eyes and listened to you.

And just when he had decided it was time to go, you dropped the bomb that pulled the rug out from under him and brought him to his knees. " I am pregnant." Three little words that were incredibly unimportant on their own, but together shifted his whole world. You were pregnant, carrying his child beneath your heart. At that moment, he almost let his guard down, only to regain his senses immediately afterwards. He had 'got himself killed' to protect you. If he were to reveal himself now, not only you but also your child would be in danger.

A risk he would never take. As much as it pained him to see you grieving, he realised all the more the importance of his mission. He now had one more reason to survive and to win. And these two reasons were enough for him to work himself to a real death. When he heard you murmur one last "I love you", he couldn't resist taking one last look at you. But at that very moment, you had turned to face him again and Shuichi wasn't sure if he had pulled his head away in time.

Although he was no longer Akai Shuichi, but Okiya Subaru, it didn't stop his heart from pounding in his throat, worried that you would go to him. He knew that if you stood in front of him and looked at him, he would no longer be able to resist.

You, however, didn't seem to have noticed him, but had walked on, away from him, and with every step the tear in his heart grew bigger. A single tear rolled down his cheek. "I promise you, love, I will come back. And then I won't leave your side, ever again." Shuichi exhaled and it was as if all the sadness and suffering had left his body with that breath.

Okiya Subaru pushed up his glasses and rose from the grass. He had an organisation to kill.

#akai shuichi #akai shuichi x reader #shuichi akai #shuichi akai x reader #okiya subaru #subaru okiya #case closed #detective conan #andre camel #andre camel is a sweetheart #grieving #hurt no comfort #pregnancy #faked death

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tbgblr2 · 7 months

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Cruising to new life - part 6

As we rose on the third day of the cruise, we managed to catch the sunrise. Just sitting on our room balcony, watching the sky get lighter and lighter was magical. I sat with Jodie hand in hand, snuggled up in our dressing gowns just relaxing and enjoying the moment.

“You know what we didn’t do?” Jodie broke the silence.

“Whats that?” I answered.

“We didn’t book my spa appointment, with everything that happened the other day.”

With that, we resolved that we would sort that out today – likelihood is that with essentially spa appointments free of charge, we may have been too late and missed the boat (I know, sorry, bad choice of words) on it… but we kept our fingers crossed.

As we retreated back into the room to get dressed for the day, Jodie settled on a bikini and a cover up, announcing that today was going to be all about warming her bump under the sun and drinking as many fake ass margaritas as she could handle.

I laughed at her announcement. We had noticed that the bars actually seemed to have a healthy stock of non-alcoholic cocktail recipes on board. We weren’t sure if we could find a margarita exactly, but we were sure we could find something slushy that could do in a pinch.

I settled on a tee shirt and shorts, and with that, we set off for breakfast, already having been awake for a couple of hours, we were both starving. Breakfast itself was quiet – it was still early, and we were thankful we had beaten the rush. As much as were looking forward to meeting our little munchkin that was growing inside my wife’s belly, we had learned long ago that big groups of families with lots of small kids all yelling and screaming in unison was not really something we enjoyed. I’m dreading this little kiddie’s future birthday parties!

We made quick work of our breakfast, and continued up to the family pool area. We had around an hour before the spa opened, so settled back into a sun lounger and caught the morning sun as it rose higher and higher in the sky. Just as I thought I was dozing off, I heard a buzzing next to me. Jodie grabbed her phone and tapped on the screen. “Time to go!” she announced. I realised that she had actually set a timer to get us to the spa as early as possible – she was certainly a woman on a mission.

After giving her a hand up, we left a towel on the lounger in hopes that it would deter anyone from using them by the time we got back – we had found some very nice spots – and headed back down to deck 5. A member of the spa staff greeted us at the door, holding it open as we walked in. The reception area was nicely decorated, plenty of wood and plants – I suppose it was the norm for this sort of thing – celebrating nature, life and all that type of jazz.

Jodie asked about a possibility of a massage, and the receptionist looked through, advising her that all appointments had been booked for this week so far, and she could get a spot next week. She looked a bit dejected, but accepted that at least she was going to get her massage – just had to hope that she hadn’t given birth before then!

The staff were all smiles as they said that they could easily convert a maternity massage to a sports massage if I wanted to take your place should that happen. I honestly think that Jodie’s eyes were staring daggers at the lady as she announced that little titbit of information.

Suddenly the phone rang. The lady excused herself and picked up the phone. After a series of discussions, she announced that one of the other guests had actually cancelled for a session which was due to start in 30 minutes, so she could take that one instead.

I had never seen my wife smile so much. She was elated when she saw the pregnancy test, when she saw the baby for the first time on the ultrasound, and hell, even when we got married, but I seriously think that her smile could have gone from ear to ear at that announcement.

We were booked in, and filled in the questionnaire they handed us about any issues that she may have been having, that sort of thing. We said our goodbyes as she went off for her massage, but as she waddled off down the corridor to meet her massage therapist, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye.

“Is that available for after her massage by any chance?” I asked, pointing at an entry on the board of the spa area. A quick tap on the computer had confirmed that indeed it was – so I booked a 30 minute slot for myself and Jodie for after her massage.

The receptionist beamed “please come here a few minutes ahead of schedule sir and we will send your wife straight over after she is done with her massage.” I thanked the lady and headed back to deck 10 to enjoy the rising sun.

Jodie entered the treatment room to find a seat and a bed. The seat was a little unusual though – it was intended that you would straddle it – there was a hole for the belly and the head – it was so your back could be exposed without needing to lie down. The therapist explained that she would be in that for the first 30 minutes, getting her back and shoulders done, then she would move to the bed for a more traditional maternity massage, lying on her side with a pillow to support her bump.

After a quick check if she would need to be naked – indeed she would need to be – the therapist left the room so she could undress. She bundled up the coverup, and her bikini top and bottoms into the corner of the room, and looked at the chair. It had a paper cover at the bottom where you sat on for hygiene purposes, so she swung her legs over and pulling her weight over on a positioned grab rail next to the chair, slotted her belly into the hole on the padded rest. She tentatively leaned forward so her head was resting in the hole designed for it, the cushioned padding feeling warm to the touch. Between the hole in the back of the chair for her bump, and the slightly tilted forward position it left her head, she was surprised how comfortable it was – her breasts weren’t squashed up against the back of the chair or anything.

There was a knock at the door and a few moments later the therapist entered, smiling that Jodie had managed to get herself situated on the chair by herself. The therapist put on some relaxing music, poured oils onto her hands and told Jodie to relax, as she started moving her hands up and down her back, finding knots and tense areas all the way down her spine as Jodie could do nothing else but groan in appreciation.

For the next 30 minutes, Jodie was lost in her own little trance. The massage therapist moved up and down her back, squeezing and massaging her shoulders and the back of her neck, and then returning to her back once again. Jodie may have even fell asleep at one point, as she felt as soon as she had started, the 30 minutes were up, and the massage therapist was asking her to move over to the bed.

Jodie groaned – partly through enjoying the service so far, and partly as she really didn’t want to move from the comfortable position she was in, but taking the massage therapists hands, she managed to swing her leg back over the chair and wobbly stand on her own 2 feet. Steadying herself for a second, she waddled over to the bed across the room.

The massage therapist advised that she should lay down on the side of her choice, and she would need to move over to the other side after a few minutes – no lying on her back with a bump by all accounts. She chose to lay facing right at first, with the massage therapist laying a blanket over her and tucking it into place so she was fully covered with her head exposed.

The therapist moved over and sat down so she was at eye level with Jodie as she started to massage her face and temple. Jodie admitted it felt strange getting only half of her face massaged, but appreciated the fact that she would have had to lie with her belly to her side – she knew fine well how uncomfortable it was having the full weight of her baby pressing straight down on her insides if she was lying directly on her back.

The therapist moved down to massage her arm and hand on the exposed side, digging her thumbs in the appropriate places on Jodie’s palms to once more have her elicit a groan of appreciation.

Next to be massaged was her belly, though the therapist only used a light touch and didn’t apply any significant pressure, but it was clear that the baby within was enjoying it as much as the mother was, as bumps and pokes continued for minutes after the therapist had left the area, much to the amusement of both ladies.

Finally she moved down to Jodie’s hips and legs, as she massaged her thighs, once more using both hands to press her thumbs into Jodie’s skin, and whilst it was painful for a fraction of a second, the aches soon melted away under the expert touch of the masseuse.

As she moved further down the legs to Jodie’s ankles she managed to ask if that was safe – she’d heard things about ankle massage promoting the onset of labour. The masseuse gave a small laugh but reassured her that it was indeed safe, though once she was actually in labour, it had been suggested that massaging the feet and ankles helped relieve pain during contractions – so to perhaps keep that in mind when the time came.

Jodie managed a quick word of thanks as the ministrations of the masseuse send her lulling back into a blissful doze, thumbs of the masseuse digging into the soles of her feet and rubbing around her heels and ankles – the natural swelling in those areas deserving a lot more attention to relieve the aches and pains of carrying all the additional baby weight.

She was asked to sit up and re-position herself on her other side where it started all over again – face, arms, hands, belly, hips, legs and finally feet. At the end Jodie didn’t even know which way was up and down.

Jodie was given a hand up by the masseuse, who grabbed a clean dressing gown from the shelf next to her and wrapped it around Jodie in order to preserve her modesty as she sat back down again on the bed.

“Now drink plenty of water” she advised Jodie who nodded in turn, managing a dozy sounding confirmation by way of response. She was drifting on cloud nine right now, her entire body feeling ache free and loose. “I understand your husband has arranged a special surprise for you after your massage was finished, so if you’re OK with that, I’ll lead you to where he is waiting rather than to reception?”

Jodie’s attention jumped at that news. She wondered what was planned. Taking a tentative step up from the bed, she grabbed her clothes and followed the masseuse out of the treatment room and down the corridor. As they came to a door, Jodie noticed a sign saying ‘Rasul’ on the door. The masseuse keyed in a code and the two of them walked into a changing room of sorts, evidence of 1 set of clothing was hung up on the pegs, which Jodie recognised as being what I had been wearing earlier in the day – all of what I had been wearing.

The masseuse picked up the loose threads that were going through Jodie’s mind. “Please, when you are ready, you may lay your clothing down here, and take off your robe. Feel free to join your husband in the next room. I will lock the door behind me. Enjoy.” She smiled as she turned and walked out, the door lock clicking into place.

Jodie laid the bundle of clothes she was carrying down onto a seat in the corner of the room and opened the robe, hanging it up on a peg next to my own clothes. Taking sight of the door into the next room, she turned the handle and opened it to find me sitting there, stark naked.

“Come in babe.” I offered with a beaming smile on my face, my gorgeous wife silhouetted by the doorway. I stood up and walked over, cock swaying as I stepped across the room, watching her eyes home in on it and the smile light up on her face.

I took her hand and lead her over to the area I was sitting in – a long multi person bench which was covered in the same ceramic tiles as the rest of the room was decorated in. On top of this bench area were several cushions which were wrapped in a plastic or fake leather style covering which kept them waterproof and easy to wipe down.

“I know you shouldn’t be spending too long on your feet after having your entire body massaged to extreme levels, so please take a seat.” She did as I asked and settled herself down onto the cushion. “I read something about these being offered on the brochure and I knew we had to try it… a mud rasul. Basically what we do is cover each other in these pots of mud…” she noticed the pots now that I was pointing to “… and from there we have fun whilst it dries and moisturises your skin. Then we wash it off.”

“Oh really. What sort of fun do we have whilst its drying?” she asked, her mind already working to consider what I could offer.

“What sort of fun do you think 2 adults could have in the privacy of a locked room and 30 minutes to ourselves?” I answered, my own voice sounding mischievous.

“I can think of a few things you are really good at doing…” she purred at this point, relaxing into the seat as I grabbed the pot of mud and scooped out a large handful, smearing it on her belly. We took it in turns grabbing handfuls of mud from the pot and smearing it over each other’s body, our hands becoming a slippy mess as we smeared ourselves head to toe – well at least Jodie was smeared head to toe – I had to make do with whatever she could reach from her sitting position, but I had plenty of it covered in key spots – including 2 rather interesting hand prints on my butt as she slapped and grabbed.

As soon as we were covered in mud, we moved into rubbing each other and kissing, my hands finding her breasts, making patterns in the mud and playing with her nipples as she begged me to use my hands elsewhere. I did as I was asked, washing the mud off my hands with the jet of water available to one side as she parted her legs, her pussy lips a bright pink spot in the middle of a sea of brown mud.

My two fingers slipped in effortlessly, she was wet and waiting for me. I was grinning as I inserted them, offering “I didn’t know that the massage was that good.” She didn’t respond, just moaned loud as my fingers pushed in deeper, suddenly stopping and hooking them up to rub against her insides, dangerously close to her arousal zone. She was pleading at me with her eyes as I twitched my fingers back and forth, her head lolling backwards as she could do nothing else but moan again in obvious appreciation.

I spent a few minutes teasing the area as her hands roamed my body, eventually jump-grabbing her hands to my hair and pulling hard as her orgasm took over. She was quivering in my hands as I moved my fingers slowly back and forth, each movement setting her off again. She managed to tell me not to stop as I kept on doing the same for a good 30 seconds, she was eventually a panting wreck, managing a weak call for me to stop as she couldn’t take it anymore.

I hadn’t had my fill though. I got her to hold her legs back in a pseudo pushing pose, as I wrapped my arms around behind her breasts, grasping my hands together behind her, tipping her back as I supported her. She was hesitant at first, her only contact with the seat at this point was her ass and she was very concerned with slipping off, but as I thrust into her, her eyes rolled back into her head and any anxiety about moving was lost as I pressed her deeper and deeper into the seat with each thrust.

She pulled on her knees as she felt the next orgasm build, separating her legs more and giving me another fraction of an inch to go deeper, our mud-covered bodies slapping together with slick, gloopy sounds as I trusted back and forth. We had the idea that we were in a semi-public place in the back of our minds, even though the door was locked, but that made it all the more thrilling in the moment. She lost any inhibition as she approached her second orgasm of the session, her breathy moans changing to vocal yells as the feelings inside her reached higher and higher peaks of excitement. Jodie’s enjoyment fuelled me as I reached my climax, my own gasping moans joining hers as she felt the surge of liquid shoot from me and my twitching cock move inside her as it deposited spurt after spurt.

I let her lower her legs down and helped keep her upright as she managed to shakily put them on the ground, both of our breaths coming in panting gasps, exertion from the recent surge of activity enough to leave us out of breath. My own hands were shaky and my arms aching as I grabbed the shower head to the side and suggested we should get cleaned up.

I’d dare say we had as much fun washing off the mud as we had putting it on. The water was warmed to body temperature so it wasn’t unnecessarily too hot or cold, just our hands rubbing against each other. We finished with moving back into the changing room next door, into the shower in the changing room, where we finally found one on the ship which could accommodate both of us and the bump comfortably. Keeping an eye on the clock – 25 minutes of our 30 minute session had passed – we spent the next few minutes towelling each other down, enjoying the soft feel of the exquisite towels that were provided against our skins. I gave Jodie a hand to get back into her bikini and cover up, taking a moment to pull on my own shorts and tee shirt as I pushed the robe she had entered the room with into the wash basket. As we unlocked the door and caught sight of one of the ladies from the spa, she smiled.

“I hope you’re both nice and relaxed now, and I really hope you enjoyed our rasul room. Its unusual to have on a ship, but Mr LeGrand was very insistent that it should be included when the ship was designed.”

“If I see him, ill tell him thanks, it was wonderful.” I replied, my hand gravitating towards Jodie’s back as we waved goodbye to the staff, left the room and headed back up to the pool deck.

We were fully expecting that our reserved beds would have been taken by others since the day was now getting close to lunchtime, but to our surprise, both beds were free. Jodie settled down and sent me off to get her a water – all the exertion taking it out of her, along with the recommendation form the masseuse fresh in her mind. By the time I got back, she was asleep on the sun lounger.

#fpreg #birth kink #birth #pregnancy #labor kink

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guess-how-i-stole-this-body · 7 months

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Gonna be honest y'all, not a fan of what this episode means for the Close-Fosters. Mainly just Glenn and Nick. If Glenn kept his distance because he didn't want to influence Nick negatively, why didn't he like...stick with it?

Glenn's plans were to give Nick and Jodie space. Glenn is selfish, but he knows when to back off. Bad dad, but good person and all that jazz. You can't convince me he just-- forgot about all that stuff and threw it out the window the moment they went to hell. Hell might be a very loose place, but story wise I don't understand what's the point of giving Glenn an arc, taking it away, then redoing it in season two.

Glenn knows he's a bad dad. He knew that in s2 ep45 and he knew in s1 Fender Glennder. He tried to not dwell on it too much, but you know that deep down he knows this is the truth. He couldnt consult Nick.Jr without giving him a voice. The rat can't speak for itself. I'm not saying he should be a blessed saint, he can still be his bard-rocking self, but still keep his arc. What I am saying is that you could get rid of the prison arc and things would still end up the same. Which, honestly, sucks considering Glenn had late game character development. In the same episode, he literally DIES.

"This is as good as it's going to get" but things were going to get better. I have no idea why they reversed his arc. Nick isn't even Glenn's son anymore. Why is Nick so attached to Glenn again? Jodie raised him. When Nick got his memories back, he left with Jodie. When Nick had Taylor, he was visited by Jodie. Im running out of steam writing this but you get the point.

TLDR: Episode S2 45 feels like the complete restart of Glenns arc while also rendering the Meth Bay Prison arc irrelevant.

I will admit though, I did like how Freddy and Anthony handled Taylor and Nick. Honestly I think that's the part that hurts the most. They're good writers and they're good at what they do. How Glenn was handled just...isn't that great.

Anyways. Great podcast regardless.

#dndads #dndads negativity?#whats yalls thoughts #dndads criticism

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callsign-bunnie · 5 months

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First of all OW

Second now all I can think about is an Spn/CoD crossover, what are your HC’s bunnie the people want to know!

Have a great day

Hmmm, so funnily enough, I've not thought of it that much. I'm not really a "these characters meet other characters" kind of gal when I do crossovers, HOWEVER, (warning: I HAVE NOT WATCHED PAST 13 AND I DON'T CARE TO. GABRIEL DYING WAS MY FINAL STRAW SO THAT EPISODE WAS THE LAST I EVER WATCHED)

Ghost flirts with Dean, Dean is not the player he once was because Ghost is way too young for him

For the record, Price is not and is his type, I am sure you can see where I'm going with this

Oh god, it's just hitting me that I've never actually talked about my SPN opinions on this blog so I have no idea what live fire I might be throwing myself in front of. Whatever, moving on

I'll match the characters up how I think they would go, being -Ghost and Gabriel (hear me out. Both use humor to cope, both were "forsaken" by their fathers, both had asshole siblings. Gabriel was a lot more serious in the later seasons after being traumatized, and I think he'd end up relating a lot more to Ghost and both would enjoy the dark humor the other can provide. Gabriel would LOVE that goldfish joke) -Farah would love Claire and adopt her as a younger sister (Speaking of! Claire is around Gaz's age :D) -Gaz would probably love Jack, I'm just saying -Valeria definitely heavily enjoyed Ruby's "I'm awesome" speech and would one hundred percent "girl boss" with her -I have opinions but I think Dean and Soap, but I think Dean would see himself in Soap and Soap wouldn't like how Dean treated Castiel. -Rudy and Castiel, I don't think I have to elaborate, here. (For the record, Rudy is also not getting along with Dean.) -Alex and Benny, for no other reason than they're both from around the same area and I think both would appreciate finally having another southerner around (that isn't Graves.) -AU Michael and Makarov, don't fight me on this one, you know I'm right. -I'm going to also say Dean and Alejandro, for obvious reasons -Sam and Price, both due to being closer in age and also because I think Price is secretly very nerdy -Laswell and Jody, but... I mean, that was obvious. They don't actually bond over being mother figures, Jody ends up bonding more with Price over that, it's more just... everything in their lives being so unsure because of their careers, even when Jody was just a cop. -I think Lucifer would fucking love Graves, but I don't think Graves would even like Lucifer. I think Lucifer would just be way too much for Graves, and Graves would very likely call him pathetic for being unable to keep a handle on hell and for whining all the damn time. (Also for being caught so easily and so frequently.)

I'm considering this more as Sam, Dean, and CO universe hopped to COD, so I'm just saying... no one is impressed by them, and then vice versa.

COD characters are not going to be intimidated by a bunch of civilians chasing monsters and the SPN characters don't consider war that scary when they've faced the apocalypse 80 bazillion times

There is also the age gap to take into consideration, I mean Gaz and Soap can't be older than thirty and I don't actually consider many of the characters even hitting the 35 mark.

I am also considering this as COD exists as a game franchise in SPN world, and SPN exists as a TV show in COD world, so they do know about each other.

So, I'm just saying, Dean is getting snide remarks from a few corners for his treatment of a few people. Gabriel and Castiel, especially, all points considered. I don't think Ghost, Soap, Gaz, or Rudy are letting it slide in any direction

Price doesn't care enough to stop them

Alejandro is just annoyed that even MORE people are in his base, and these ones happen to be civilians from another universe.

Despite getting along with them, however, neither Dean or Sam are allowed near Rudy. Hey, Alejandro's seen the show, he knows most of both of their shticks is flirting and fucking, he's good. (Cas is the one he has to watch out for, but he's unsuspecting because there's no way that nerd has a chance. Rudy is too loyal to his husband, but Cas definitely has a chance.)

Valeria is actively plotting how to use demons in her quest for power. You know she is already forming that alliance with Rowena

She doesn't like Lucifer enough.

Farah has already offered Claire and Alex (SPN) a home in Urzikstan, Alex (COD) has said he's unsure that'll work out.

Benny is just not allowed around anyone without respective partner there. I mean, look at him... you'd be worried too. I'd be worried. We'd all be worried.

Anyway, I'm very anxious to post this just because, again, I have no idea what I'm subjecting myself to. All I'm saying is, if you disagree with me... um... I didn't watch 14 or 15, so that's what I'm blaming that on. (Gabriel was my favorite character, do not be mean to him or Benny.)

#call of duty #rodolfo parra #alejandro vargas #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #alejandro x rodolfo #kyle gaz garrick #aledolfo #call of duty: modern warfare ii #i'm not putting too much effort into tagging this #i'm just using random tags #dean winchester #sam winchester #gabriel spn #castiel spn #supernatural #queue for dinner again hunny?

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tuhbanbuv · 6 months

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Ruby Franke has pleaded guilty to abusing her children, depriving them of food, water, duct taping their mouths and restraining them via weights, handcuffs and other methods that sicken me too much to describe. Her jail sentence can be anywhere from 4 to 60 years.

Yet she puts all the blame on Jodi, yet both of them have not only boasted about their abuse against the children in what I can only describe as religious/ritual/cult abuse but actively advocating for it and potentially coercing other parents to do it as well.

Spread the word about her crimes. Contact the officials with your concerns. Raise awareness. Ruby Franke cannot get away with this. She will burn in hell for what she did to those kids.

This is where it ends.

I will be linking the Reddit post with the legal documents regarding her plea deal below, but please be careful, the account of her full abuse is very graphic and distressing. If you cannot handle it, be careful.

#youtube #ruby franke #8 passengers #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw assault #tw police #tw torture

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panelshowsource · 8 months

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thank you anon 🥹 i never take it for granted!

anon i don’t want to rub it in but it was SO good ㅜㅜ

i thought we were past shows about lockdown — and i don’t mean that in a shady way, i just figured that era of sets was over — but mulberry is strictly about the first through third lockdowns and his (failed) coping. (please forgive me if this next part doesn’t make sense—) have you ever been to the movies and even in a serious moment people laugh? for some reason that you just can’t deduce? maybe they’re embarrassed to be feeling touched or vulnerable in public or with their friends, so it’s an awkward chuckle or they mistakenly feel they need to clear the air? is that just me? i don’t think tim created too many of these touching, vulnerable moments, but there were a few raw lines about just how lonely and confusing the whole experience was between jokes, and i wonder how much the audience really absorbed the overall narrative and some of the more poignant admissions — because it was just so funny and his crowdwork was amazing. it was really so insight and interesting!

he subtly played with music, his props were few but so witty, he shouted and whispered, his poems were hilarious (and, actually, not as dirty as usual lol), he made friends, he hyped up jodie whittaker. it was a blast. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. he greeted everyone coming in and stayed afterward at the venue bar and chatted with everyone! i said, “thanks so much for visiting us, we love seeing you 🥹” and he went “no thank you for coming! 🥹” and i nodded and he nodded and i let him be. such a sweetheart! just like russell, you could just feel the pride radiating off of him living his dream in my city. that always means a lot to me 🥹

it’s been such a fun, insightful week between russell and tim! they both reminded me just how much substance can be found in a well-crafted standup routine; panel shows are pretty brainless, which is what i love about them and what makes them really necessary in my complex system of coping with this difficult world, but i loved seeing these silly people show me more ways to see the world, handle the world, connect with people, connect with myself. we all need to hear that stuff sometimes. very chuffed!!

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angelcasendgame · 4 months

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This post by the amazing @shallowseeker was getting long so I'm making one here but I really do love Shal's phrasing of Sam being a bull in a china shop / being super clumsy with emotions in 12x16

I love this scene!! I love it!! Sam really does try to reach out and connect with people but he's far too focused on getting through to people with logic. He spends this time defending Jody and pushing Claire to tell Jody that he completely dismisses how Claire is feeling

Claire does try opening up, she tries to tell him that she still feels left out from Jody and Alex's relationship (something she's explicitly told Sam in 11x12) and feels insecure about it. But he kinda just steamrolls how she's feeling and tells her she needs to be handling things differently, when she really just wants to be heard. She snaps that they don't care because Sam is not listening, he doesn't care about how she's feeling

She specifically says if you care, treat me like an adult. She doesn't appreciate Sam's demands that either she tells Jody what she's up to or he will tell on her to her mom, like how condescending is that!!

This very much is the time for Sam to say that they do see her as an adult but the reason they want her to be more careful is because the dangers of hunting are about experience, not necessarily age. She lays it all out but Sam snaps and agrees that they ARE benching her specifically because they think of her as a stupid kid ofc she's gonna storm off

And then after all of that when it comes to Claire choosing whether she should take the cure that could potentially kill her, he's all for her making her own choices about life and death as if she's and adult lmao, and then in the following scene again presses her about whether she's going to tell Jody. It's just interesting!!

#renu rambles #i started to ramble in the tags but it was so hard with all thr quotes so i gave up and made a new post lol #love you bestie <333 #all your posts are SO GOOD #my best friend s12

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lonelier-version-of-you · 5 months

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Let's all rejoice while we can, because this is the second week in a row that Faith Cadogan has been completely absent from Casualty! Okay, now that I've celebrated that, I'm going to talk about my thoughts. I don't know how much detail I'll be able to go into, because I'm very tired and I don't feel well today, but I'll try.

I thought tonight was very good! It centred on a lot of my favourite characters - even if it did, sadly, have no Jacob - so that was great as well.

Max gets more reminiscent of Henrik by the week! They're so similar it isn't even funny anymore. Being mean to get people to leave him alone, refusing assistance when he needs it, etc. And that's not even getting into the whole absent father thing.

Despite all of this, Max mostly endeared himself to me more tonight, even if he wasn't being nice much of the time. He's such an interesting and complicated character and I'm so sad he'll be leaving so soon. I'm also very sad that his backstory, at this point, will probably just get a bit of quick exposition and then be forgotten about like Gaskell. Sigh.

Nigel Harman's performance was brilliant as ever, and Anna Chell and William Beck acted very well alongside him too. I loved how Dylan stood up for Jodie and expressed how worried he was about Max. It was great to see Dylan get something to do tonight.

Also, tonight reminded me that I hope Casualty lets Dylan be a dad someday. It feels like the right progression of his character arc.

Although, now that I remember, wasn't there supposed to be a conversation about Donna? Did I miss that? Again, I'm very tired so I might have done.

Speaking of brilliant characters that remind me of Henrik, Stevie was great tonight as well. I loved how kind she was to Kofi. I thought that was handled so sensitively and done so well, and without asking the audience to pity him, which was good. I hate it when shows try and invoke a pity response like that. Sympathy is one thing, but pity is another, and I thought tonight made that distinction so well.

I also thought the parallel between her and the man with apparent PTSD was interesting. It reminded me a bit of the scenes on Holby where a porter picked up on Luc's PTSD because he knew what it was like himself.

Rida is lovely, Rash is lovely, their scenes together are lovely. What more can I say? I love their interactions. They're great together, even if the thing about Rida having left the door open at the flat earlier felt a bit contrived as a reason for Rash to worry.

Since when is Teddy and Paige's engagement back on? I don't get why it's back on. It just feels like they're staying engaged not for character reasons, but for 'making the show more dramatic' reasons, and that frustrates me.

Next week, it seems we're going to have to put up with Faith again. Sigh. Not having her around was nice while it lasted.

#BBC Casualty #Casualty spoilers

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worldserasingandcreatinginmymind · 2 years

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Goodbyes - bonus chapter of ‘Home’

Pairing: 13!Doctor x Daughter!Reader

Summary: Essentially the events of ‘Power of the Doctor’ but with y/n aka the Doctor’s daughter. You don't really need to have read ‘Home’ to read this part, all you need to know is Y/N is ‘Jenny’, but when she regenerated she changed her name “new face, new name”

Word Count: 5.8k (I don't think I've ever written a pic this long ahah sorry)

Warning: spoilers for 13th’s regeneration. angst (I can't help it, im sad to see Jodie go)

A/N: ooh she's back. So the latest episode sparked my imagination and this is the result. I have fully loved writing this, ahh! As always spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Home Masterlist

- - - - -

Saying goodbye is never easy.

In fact you would say it was one of the hardest parts of life with the Doctor. You never get to stay in one place for long so you're constantly meeting new people only to have to say goodbye a few days later. Unless they decide to join you in the TARDIS, but even companions don't stay forever.

It wasn’t that long ago that Graham and Ryan decided to stay on earth, and now here you are saying goodbye to Dan. Although you can’t blame him for wanting to leave, he did just almost die on your last adventure together. But still, goodbyes suck!

At least you’ll always have Yaz. You can’t imagine her ever leaving, especially now she’s admitted to you and Dan that she has feelings for the Doctor.

“I don't know what to do. I’ve never told anyone, not even myself.”

“Just tell her” Dan replied

“It’s not that easy”

“Look, I took way too long to tell somebody that I liked them and then the universe ended and everything got messy.” He paused “I wouldn’t want that to happen to you Sheffield”

You saw a small smile flash on Yaz’s tear streaked face at the nickname Dan had given her.

“Dan’s right, you should totally tell her how you feel.” You agreed.

“But, what if she’s doesn’t like me back. What if I just make things awkward?”

“Oh she hundred percent likes you back. Trust me, I’ve been in her head. My mother is just awkward and doesn’t know how to handle these things.” You draped your arm over Yaz’s shoulder “So take the reins, be brave, and tell her! Who knows, maybe soon I’ll be calling you my stepmother”

The three of you had burst into laughter until a Dalek approached and reminded you of the danger you were facing at the time.

Since then you and Dan had tried to give Yaz and the Doctor opportunities to be alone but after the whole thing with the sea devils, Yaz had informed you and Dan of the conversation she’d had with the Doctor. Though you were disappointed that your mom had pretty much rejected the idea of a relationship with Yaz, you understood why. She’d loved and lost so many people already, and each time hurt just as badly as the last. Still you could tell Yaz had no plans to leave the TARDIS fam anytime soon and would be travelling with you until she physically couldn’t anymore.

After saying goodbye and leaving Dan to restart his life on earth, the three of you were thrust back into another adventure. A message from a rogue Dalek, a metal ‘cyberplanet’ in the year 1916 and regenerating Cybermen. Oh, and to top it all off The Master is back after somehow surviving the destruction of Gallifrey.

You had just managed to narrowly escape an attack from the Cybermen when Kate, the head of UNIT, called to the Doctor for help. After arriving at UNIT HQ, and an awkward meeting with Ace and Tegan, Kate explained why she had summoned you. Multiple paintings forced to be removed from public view due to being defaced with images of ‘Rasputin’. This literally had the Master’s name, or should that be face, all over it.

The meeting was interrupted when The Master sent a video broadcast, basically luring the Doctor to meet him. Even though you were 99.9% certain this was some sort of trap, the three of you jumped back in the TARDIS and headed to Naples.

Walking into the lecture hall you could hear the Master rambling about seismology and earthquakes, but you weren’t listening. All you could focus on were the people being forced to listen to him.

“Doctor look” Yaz whispered as she too noticed the miniaturised students left around on the benches.

The Master stopped talking when he noticed the three of you stood at the top of the stairs, raising his hand to wave at you.

“Do you like my seismologist collection? Think I’ve got the whole set now” he says casually as if he hasn’t just killed a room of innocent people.

“All right, I’ve followed your breadcrumb trail” The Doctor says as she starts down the stairs “Some people think your Rasputin, you’ve got a TARDIS on a metal planet with a stolen Qurunx, guarded by your cybermasters in 1916. Now, do I win a prize if I guess how this all fits together or are you just going to tell me why you're grandstanding?”

“Be patient. We’ll get there” The Master replies

“How did you even escape from Gallifrey?”

“Magnificent attention to detail” The Master laughs as he shoulder barges past the Doctor, ignoring her question “I’m a seismologist now”

“You killed all these people!” Yaz interrupts "For what?”

“To give you a simple, fair, warning.” The Master saunters right up to the Doctor, causing you to take a small protective step forward. “Leave earth now Doctor, or it will be the death of you. Because really, honestly, truly… this is the day you die. No, not just die. This is the day you are erased from existence…” he glances at you, then back to the Doctor “forever.”

To your surprise the Doctor doesn’t respond, she doesn’t say anything at all. She just stands there, staring at the Master. He laughs, glancing over at Yaz.

“I know, bit of a conversation stopper. Awkward right?” He bounces over to Yaz “Do you see what I’ve done? I was so clever because I can give her this warning, but we both know she won’t leave. She can’t, not now that I’ve said that to her and yet she knows she should, because she also knows I don't make empty threats.” He turns suddenly moving so he’s face to face with you, staring intensely in your eyes “I can absolutely, categorically, pinkey-promisey confirm this is no empty threat.”

Before any of you have a chance to respond, UNIT crash through the doors.

“Ooh, OH! You brought soldiers” The Master moves excitedly to the centre of the room “Are these for me? Oh you shouldn’t have.” The Master continues to ramble as two soldiers restrain and handcuff him, but you aren’t listening to him anymore. Instead you're watching your mother, trying to work out what she’s thinking. The Master was right, she won’t leave earth undefended but he was also right in saying he doesn’t make empty threats. And he seems way too excited about the UNIT soldiers. A horrible thought crosses your mind that this is all part of the Master’s plan. This is exactly what he wants.

“Give her a gun” The Doctor’s words bring you out of your thoughts.

“What?!” Yaz looks as surprised as you as she goes close the Doctor.

“Mom?!” You join them.

“Her too” The Doctor gestures to you and a soldier offers you a small hand gun. “Cover him. We’re going to take him in the TARDIS.” She sees your reluctance to accept and takes the gun for you, holding it out to you “Take the gun Y/N”

“Ooh she must be worried” The Master taunts from behind you “Thought she didn’t like guns”

“Fine” Yaz takes the gun from the other soldier, immediately pointing it at the Master.

“Do you even know how to use that love?” he mocks her.

“Don't you worry, I’ve had weapons training” Yaz replies confidently “Now move”

“Great chat, good meeting. Thank you all!” The Master calls out as the soldiers lead him away, Yaz following close behind.

“Y/N” the Doctor says quiet but firm, still holding the gun for you to take. You look her in the eye.

“Guns? Really Mom? This isn’t you.”

“Just take it.” She snaps, before looking apologetically “please”

“Please tell me you have a plan?” You say as you put the gun in your pocket “Because the Master certainly does and I think we’ve just played right into it”

She looks genuinely worried for a moment before putting on her best Doctor smile. “Of course I do” she places a hand on your shoulder and a shock shoots through your body. “Sorry, very staticky today for some reason. Come on.”

— — — —

Even as you watched the Master get locked away in UNIT HQ, you still can’t shake the uneasy feeling that it was all going to go wrong. And boy were you right.

While the Doctor and Yaz went off in the TARDIS to meet with the Dalek informant, you stayed behind to keep guard over The Master.

“Y/N” he dragged your name out in a sort of song like way, taunting you through the bars of his cell. “What’s wrong, cat got your tongue?” He chuckled to himself as he crouched in the corner “Oh come on, talk to me! It’s no fun if you don't talk to me! Aren’t you going to ask me about my plan? I know you want to, cause you're smart you see. You're not arrogant enough to believe that me being behind these bars means you’ve won. You think I’ve got something up my sleeve.” He pauses “Am I right? Oh I’m right aren’t I? Because we’re not so different you and I-”

“I am NOTHING like you!” You snap, moving closer to the bars.

“Finally! She talks!” He jumps up from his crouched position and comes closer to you “I was starting to think you’d forgotten how”

“So you got me to talk, now what? What do you want me to say, oh Master?” You say sarcastically

“Ooh say that again, I like it” he smiles and you look at him in disgust before turning away. “No? Ah never mind. Our time here is nearly up anyway.”

You freeze, turning back to look at him. “What do you mean?”

He just smirks, and you feel a shiver run up your spine. Something is wrong.

From outside the door you hear gunshots and shouting, followed by Kate’s voice over the tannoy.

“All units. Full combat protocols. UNIT is under attack. I repeat, UNIT is under attack from Cybermen.”

You rush toward the cell, reaching through the bars to grab the Master by his jacket.

“What did you do?!” You shout desperately in his face, but he just laughs. You let go of him, reaching into your pocket to grab the gun. “What did you do?!”

He continues to laugh, despite the gun pointed at him. Suddenly the door behind you explodes open and Ashad the Cyberman enters. You turn to point the gun at him, blocking his path to the Master but he pushes you aside sending you crashing to the floor and the gun flies from your hand. He prepares to shoot you but the Master stops him.

“Not her!” He yells “I want her alive”

Ashad blasts the cell bars open and the Master steps out triumphantly.

“I am so glad I cloned you” he says, before turning his attention to you just in time to see you still laying on the floor reaching for the gun. He walks over, putting his foot on your hand making you cry out. “I wouldn’t, if I were you.” He removes his foot, swiftly kicking the gun completely out of reach and looking back down at you. “Up.” He commands, but you don't move. “Don't make me repeat myself.”

Reluctantly you do as you're told, groaning quietly at the pain in your body as you get to your feet.

“Good girl.”

He spins on his heels, grabs one of the broken cell bars and smashes something on the wall. He reaches inside and pulls out a small device “such a good plan!” He praises himself.

Keeping his eyes fixed on the device, he holds his hand out to you. When again you don't move he growls your name, turning to face you as he slowly walks toward you “disobeying me isn’t going to stop anything, it just delays the inevitable and makes me angry in the process. And when I'm angry…” he grabs your face harshly, pressing his fingers painfully into your cheeks and pulling your closer “…I can make life even more painful for you, your little human friend” he pauses and smiles sinisterly “and your mother”

He releases your face and takes a step back, holding his hand out once again. You sigh, before reaching out to him. The second your hand touches his, he activates the device and transports you both out of UNIT.

As you land he releases your hand and you slump down onto the ground.

“Welcome to St Petersburg” he says, and as you look up at him you realise he’s changed his appearance to look like Rasputin.

Your head feels weird, and you close your eyes as you try to shake it off. After a moment the fog in your head clears and you look up to realise you’re in a large, circular room. It looks posh. Like, palace level posh. Around the edge of the room are Daleks and Cybermen, all stood facing the centre of the room where you see the shell of a Dalek. Your eyes focus and you realise the Doctor is restrained and unconscious.

“Mom!” You scramble to get to your feet, but two Cybermasters step forward and place their metal hands on your shoulders, keeping you knelt on the ground. “What have you done to her?”

“Oh nothing yet my dear, the best it yet to come.” He crouches down to eye level with you “and you get a front row seat, you lucky thing you”

A small groan comes from the Doctor, signalling she’s waking up and the Master jumps up and bounds over to her.

“Hello Doctor. Welcome to the end of your existence.” He smiles, taking a few steps back and gesturing around the room “Say hello to my friends”

She sleepily glances around, her eyes landing on you.

“Oh and your precious little offspring is here too!”

“If you’ve harmed her-” the Doctor begins but the Master laughs

“What Doctor? You’ll kill me? Because I think I’ve proved by now that’s not possible.” He spins around to show off his outfit “Do you like the garb? I love the garb. Got to dress for the occasion.”

He continues to ramble for a while, but you and the Doctor remain looking at each other. A silent conversation happening between the two of you.

“…the day I killed the Doctor.” You tune back into the Master’s speech “With a little help from my friends”

“Your friends?” The Doctor scoffs “You hate each other!”

“And the one thing stronger than their hatred for each other… is their hatred for you” he reaches his hand up to touch the Doctor’s face, causing you to struggle against the Cybermaster’s hold on you. “ooh she’s a feisty one isn’t she Doc” he laughs, sauntering over to you. “You know, it really is beautiful how much you two care for each other. Want to protect each other.” He reaches down, placing a finger under your chin to tilt your head up. Forcing you to look at him. “I hope you’ll feel the same way about me when I’m your mother… or father? Daddy? We can decide on the name later-”

“What are you talking about?” You ask him with disgust.

“The next phase of my brilliant plan!” He removes his hand from your face, allowing your head to drop back down to a comfortable position as he turns away from you. “I’m going old school Doctor. Do you remember the ultimate sanction for breaking our laws?”

There’s a heavy silence as the Doctor and the Master stare at each other.

“Forced regeneration. They even did it to you once didn’t they? Well maybe more than once, who knows? Not you”

“You don't have the technology” you can hear the panic in your mother’s voice.

“I do… I do. I DO!” He laughs excitedly “when I ransacked Gallifrey, I took everything. But where would he get the power? If only I had a planet built for this purpose. No, wait wait! I do!!”

“The cyberplanet?” You say, thinking out loud.

“Bingo! Gold star for Y/N, I see why you keep her around Doc.” He winks at you “A conversion planet, except it doesn’t only convert organic to cyber… I brought it here to help another conversion altogether.”

He reaches his arm up in the air, presses a button on the device in his hand and the room descends into bizarre chaos. Music fills the room as the chandelier hanging in the centre of the room transforms into the same cube like thing you’d seen on the other TARDIS on the cyberplanet. Meanwhile the Master dances happily to himself, as Daleks and Cybermen watch on from the sidelines. You and the Doctor exchange confused glances, which the Masters notices. He dances over to you, orders the Cybermen to move and pulls you up to dance with him. When you just stand there unmoving he comes behind you, grabs your arms and waves them about like a puppet master controlling a doll.

It doesn’t take long before he’s bored at your lack of enthusiasm. He throws you back into the arms of the Cybermasters and marches over to the Doctor as two large glass boxes are transported into the room.

“Lets get you out of there” He removes the Doctor’s restraints and steps aside for her to stand. “Get in the box”

The Doctor hesitates, glancing over at you as she’s clearly trying to figure a way out of this. The Master clicks his fingers and suddenly every Dalek in the room turns to face you, their gunsticks primed and ready to fire.

“I don't think I need to explain what happens to her if you disobey me, do I Doctor?”

— — — —

Once she’s in the glass box, the Master sends a message to Yaz in the TARDIS, Cleary luring her to him, then climbs inside the other box.

“Forced regeneration, Doctor…” The doors of the boxes shut, locking your mother inside. “..to force you to regenerate into me!”

“No!” You shout, struggling against the grip of the Cybermasters but their metal hands just squeeze tighter.

“You wouldn’t?” The Doctor shakes her head in disbelief, her eyes almost begging the Master to stop.

He activates the device and red lightning crashes through the roof into the boxes. The Master and Doctor start glowing orange, a sign regeneration has begun. Your mother locks eyes with you as tears slips down both your faces.

“Y/N!” She calls to you over the sound of the Master screaming “Look after Yaz!”

You nod your head “I love you!”

“I lo-” she begins but it cut off as suddenly in her place stands the Master in the Doctor’s clothes. He maintains eye contact and though you want to look away, you can’t. “It worked” he steps out of the box, falling to his knees and groaning. He composes himself, slowly standing as he declares “I… am… the Doctor!”

You close your eyes, trying to stop anymore tears for spilling but open them again when you hear the familiar sound of the TARDIS landing. For a brief second your heart jumps as you think your mother has arrived to save the day, but then you remember… she’s gone. You look over to see Yaz cautiously poke her head out the door.

“Oh hello, Yasmin Khan” the Master/Doctor steps towards her triumphantly.

Yaz glances between you and him “Where’s the Doctor?” The Master laughs, making Yaz angry “MY Doctor!”

“Gone” he replies simply, and you see Yaz’s heart sink. “Really gone, forever gone.” He steps closer to her “Don't worry, you’ll get used to me. You both will.” He looks over to you, holding his hand out “come here, daughter of mine”

You feel instant pain relief as the Cybermasters finally release you, pushing you forward slightly and making you stumble into his hold. He cups your face in his hands, wiping tears from your cheek.

“Come, come now. Don't cry dear. Smile for Daddy, hm?”

He stares into your face, waiting for you to obey. In your mind you hear his earlier warning about not doing what you're told and you use all the energy you can muster to flash him a small false smile. “Better.” He lets go of your face, returning his attention to Yaz.

“I still need a companion to ask and bask in my brilliance.” He smiles but Yaz looks disgusted “oh come on Yaz! Let's go on an adventure!” He pushes past her, running into the TARDIS. He looks back out through the door, his face suddenly deadly serious again. “Don't make me ask twice. I’d hate to have to bring you down to size.”

— — — —

Inside the TARDIS the Master bounces around the control panel like an excited child. You and Yaz stand to the side watching in shock after what’s just happened.

“She’ll come back right?” Yaz whispers to you but before you can respond the Master spins to face the two of you.

“Ah ah ah, no plotting behind my back girls. That’s not very nice” he pulls a fake, hurt face before pointing to you. “Go to your room.”

“What?” you almost laugh at how ridiculous this is.

“You heard me.”

“You can’t be serious”

“Deadly.”

You look at Yaz who looks back at you just as confused. “Will you be okay?” You ask her.

“She’ll be fine, as long as she cooperates” the Master answers for her “I just need some alone time with my companion.”

Yaz flashes you a small reassuring smile, letting you know she can handle this. You start walking, stopping as you reach the Master.

“You hurt her, I absolutely, categorically, pinkey-promisey will kill you.” You use his early words to warn him and he pulls a mocking face like he’s just looked at an adorable puppy.

— — — —

You can’t relax. Not knowing what the Master is up to, if Yaz is okay, if your mother can ever return. It’s too much. You pace and pace around your room until your legs ache and finally you flop down onto your bed with your head in your hands.

“Hi!”

A sudden familiar voice in your room makes you jump up and see your mom standing in front of you. You blink away the left over tears and realise she’s a hologram.

“Mom?”

“If you're seeing this, then I’m dead.” She states, making you gasp. “Is that a bad way to start? Bit overdramatic?”

She goes on to explain how she’s created an AI hologram version of herself and implanted it using static electricity, but that it should only activate under grave circumstances.

“Are you really dead? Is there any way you could come back?” You ask hopefully.

“If this hologram has presented to you, then yes I am dead.” Your heart sinks, a wave of emotion floods through you. “Woah, my emotional receptors are a bit over sensitive. Apparently you're experiencing extreme sadness right now.”

“I wish you were really here” you sniffle.

“Me too. I’d give you a hug and maybe some ice cream? Sad people need ice cream right?” She questions and you laugh “Ah I’m sensing a slight mood boost, that’s good. Keep that up.”

Suddenly Yaz bursts into the room.

“You see her too!” She acknowledges the holo-doctor before looking at you.

“Where’s the Master?” You ask her, half expecting him to come barging in after her.

“I threw him out”

“You did what?” You laugh in amazement.

“Come on, I’ve got a plan”

— — — —

With her post it notes to guide her, Yaz flew the TARDIS to collect Vinder from the cyberplanet and save Ace she parachuted off the UNIT building. She then explained her plan and dropped you and Ace off under the volcano to stop the Daleks while she and Vinder went off to complete their part of the plan.

You and Ace agreed to split off to distribute her nitro bombs around the volcano, and meet back up in time to escape together. However when you did meet up you were surprised and happy to see a familiar face with her.

“Graham?!” You exclaim, running into his arms and hugging him tightly. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ll explain later, run!” He grabs your hand, pulling you with him as the three of you run from the sound of explosions and angry Daleks and towards to sound of the TARDIS landing. You watch it materialise as you get closer and when the door opens you freeze. Graham and Ace run straight in, leaving you stood staring at your mother who waits at the door for you. She holds her hand out, a look of confusion on her face as to why you’ve stopped.

“Y/N? Come on!”

“Is it really you? Not a hologram, not the Master playing a trick. You're really here?”

She runs out to you, placing her hands gently on your face so she can look at you.

“I’m here”

As you look in her eyes you can tell it’s her. You don't know how you know, you just do. You squeeze her tightly, happy tears springing to your eyes.

“As lovely as this moment is, we really do need to go” she says and you nod, the sound of Daleks behind you reminding what is was you were running from.

She holds your hand as you both run to the safety of the TARDIS. Yaz explains how they brought back the Doctor, while you mother gets to work at the console, flying you and the team away just as the volcano explodes. When the TARDIS next comes to a stop Kate and Tegan come onboard and the Doctor positions everyone around the TARDIS console, giving each person a specific button to press or lever to pull. Nobody fully understand what they’re doing but they do it anyway. When the Doctor has a plan, it’s best not to ask too many questions.

“Vinder, is that your ship on the surface of this cyberplanet?” She asks, still rushing around the TARDIS. She doesn’t give him time to answer, continuing to talk without taking a breath. “Don't speak, no time. Come with me. Another problem to solve. When I say now, activate everything. Chop chop Vinder. Y/N, with me!” She leads Vinder out through the doors and you look at the others, letting out a small laugh.

“She’s still not explaining anything then?” Graham jokes.

“How is it bigger on the inside?” Kate ask you, completely in awe on her surroundings. In all the madness you hadn’t realised this was her first time on the TARDIS. You're about to respond when you hear your mother call your name from outside.

“I’ll let Yaz explain that one” you laugh, patting Yaz on the shoulder as you jog past her and out the door.

— — — —

Outside the Doctor gets on with fixing Vinder’s ship, still happily chatting away mostly to herself while you and Vinder stand watch. He fills you in on life since you last saw him and hugs you goodbye before you have to follow the Doctor as she runs to the Master’s TARDIS. When inside she brings up the video link to her TARDIS and finally explains the plan to you and the others. She gives the word and everyone springs into action. You pull your designated lever, watching as the TARDIS flashes and groans into life.

“Yes!” She cheers “Temporal hop, 106 years, done! Now… for conversion.” She looks up at you “I really hope this works”

She pulls another lever and watches on the screen as the erupting volcanoes transform into something else.

“Did she just freeze volcanoes into steel?” You hear Tegan ask through the video link.

“Yes I did!” The Doctor celebrates “Turning multiple planet-threatening situations into public art! You're welcome”

“Ok, don’t get cocky” Yaz jokes

“Now, one last thing and we’re done”

You both exit the Master’s TARDIS and head for the Qurunx.

“I’m sorry for what was done to you” she speaks to it “I’ll see you released, but I need one more thing from you. Channel your energy down into this planet. Disintegrate everything, and then you’ll be free!”

The Qurunx flashes and begins doing what the Doctor said. A red beam of light bursting down to the surface of the planet and you and your mother stand in awe. As you begin walking back to your TARDIS together, you hear the Master shout from behind you.

“Doctor!”

You both turn to face him with a sigh.

“You lost” The Doctor says “You gambled and you lost. And now your body is failing because of what you put it through.”

“Maybe” he replies “But if I can’t be the Doctor… neither can you”

He raises his hand, clicking the device in it and suddenly the beam from the Qurunx changes direction. Heading straight for you. You freeze, unable to make your body move. The Doctor pushes you out of the way, sending you crashing to the ground a safe distance away as she takes the full force of the beam. She grunts as it knocks her flying and she lands in an unmoving heap.

“MOM!” You shout, scrambling to get up and run to her but your head starts spinning. You touch your hand on your scalp where you realise you hit your head and it comes away red with blood. “Mom?” You call again as you collapse on the ground next to her. You lay there begging your body to move, to help your mother, but everything feels heavy. You hear the sound of footsteps and turn your head to the side. You notice the Master also laying lifeless not to far away. Turning your head the other side you just catch a glimpse of Graham and Yaz running to you as your eyes grow heavy and everything turns black.

— — — —

When you come around, you find yourself back in your bed in the TARDIS and for a moment you wonder if it had all been a dream. You climb out of bed feeling surprisingly okay and rush to the TARDIS console room to see Yaz and the Doctor stood together, talking quietly. Yaz notices you first, wiping her cheek and putting on a smile you can tell is fake. Your mother keeps turned away as Yaz makes her way over to you. As she moves you notice her bags by the door.

“You’re leaving?” You ask in horror and she sighs. “Why? Why now? There’s still so much to see.”

She just looks at you, like she doesn’t know how to explain and eventually says “I’m sorry, I’ve just got to go” before pulling you into a tight hug.

“But-” you think about arguing but decide against it “how are you ever going to be my stepmom if you're not here” you say jokingly, making her laugh. She pulls away to look at you again.

“Keep in touch yeah?” She says and you nod “and look after her”

You both look over at the Doctor who is mindlessly fiddling with buttons on the console.

“I will”

And just like that she left. She refused to say the word ‘goodbye’ to either of you, she just smiled and waved a small wave before grabbing her bags and leaving. You turn to your mom.

“Are you mad?” You ask, a tear spilling down your eye.

“What?” She looks at you, confused by your sudden outburst.

“How can you just let her leave?”

“She’s made up her mind”

“Then change it!” You almost shout “go after her and convince to stay with us! With you!”

“Y/N-” she starts but stops when she sees you’ve noticed her hand is glowing.

“You’re regenerating?” You say quietly “Why?”

“The Qurunx blast, my body took too much damage”

“But- but you're fine!”

“I’ve been holding it off for as long as I could, but its already starting” she starts slowly walking to you.

“How long do you have?”

“About an hour, maybe”

“An hour?! No, that’s not enough time, I need more time!” You start to panic and she places her hands on your arms to ground you. You look up in her eyes “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You were healing Y/N, you hit your head really hard. You body needed to heal you properly.” She explains but you're only half listening, your mind racing at the realisation that you're losing her.

“I can’t- I can’t lose you” you sob

“Hey!” She make you look at her so she knows you're listening “you are not losing me, okay? I’ll still be here.”

“But you’ll be different, a completely new person.” You take a breath “There’s been so much change recently. With Graham and Ryan leaving, then Dan joining and leaving again. And now Yaz… You’ve been the only constant thought it all. This face…” you put your hands on her cheeks “…has been a reassuring presence through it all.”

“Listen, change can be difficult and scary. But it can also be really exciting! I’ll always be the Doctor. I’ll always be your mother” she pauses “or father? It’s complicated” you both laugh “it doesn’t matter what face I have, I will always love you…” she takes your hand and places it on her chest “…with both my hearts.”

“I love you” You hug tightly for a few minutes.

“At least we’re even now” she says, and you pull away to look at her confused “you took a bullet for me, I took a Qurunx blast for you”

“Yeah I guess you're right. We really should stop jumping in front of each other”

“I can’t make any promises”

“Me neither” you both laugh “so, what do we do now?”

“Hmm.. ice cream?”

The Doctor landed the TARDIS in a beautiful location overlooking the sea. The two of you sat for a while, eating ice cream and laughing as you watched the sun begin to set. You rest your head on her shoulder for a while until eventually she told you it was time.

“I think I need to do this next bit alone” she says, and you nod silently. You can’t help the tears that start to form at the thought of this being the last time you see her like this. “Remember, both hearts” she places her hand on her chest and you place yours on your own.

“Both hearts” you reply before turning and going back in the TARDIS.

You lean against the centre console, allowing yourself to cry and the TARDIS makes a noise, almost like she's trying to comfort you. You smile.

“We’ll be okay”

You can see the bright orange flash through the small windows in the door, signalling the full regeneration is happening. You close your eyes, taking breaths to calm yourself. You know the Doctor will be coming back in soon and the thought of meeting the new face suddenly makes you nervous. You hear the doors open and look up to see a face you recognise well. A face you’ve seen before. One of the very first faces you ever saw…

“Dad?”

#the doctor x reader #doctor who fanfic #doctor who imagine #the 13th doctor #13th doctor x reader #whittaker!doctor x reader #Jodie Whittaker x reader #doctor who #new who #tennant!doctor x reader #David tennant x reader #power of the doctor #doctor who spoilers

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rassilon-imprimatur · 2 years

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Loved The Power of the Doctor 10/10, frenetic and joyful insanity that then somehow becomes a soft spoken open-ending for the entire show (barring the Tennant of course), really happy. Love how peacefully Thirteen went out, loved how open-ended and unspoken Yaz’s departure was. Loved the returns, loved the wank. 10/10. Feels really weird to say goodbye to this era.

Love so much of it is bookended by Dan’s departure? He quickly becomes an afterthought, but I dunno, his “see you later” of a goodbye after deciding to stop avoiding the stark hard work of the real world and “attack it,” it hangs over the whole thing right to he and Graham inviting Yaz to the therapy group.

The Cyber-Masters call back to the Earthshock/Five Doctors David Banks Leader and Cyber-Lieutenant/Deputy. Vain, vengeful, melodramatic, emotional sneer coming through the voice. The Time Lord gore inside still hums and whines with stolen life. I was disappointed their converted planet wasn’t actually Gallifrey, but the idea is still there? The Master’s TARDIS’ core is now the planet’s core, the Qurunx battery enough to power a forced regeneration/TV Movie Body Swap, only be possible with the Eye of Harmony (movie) or “the secrets of Gallifrey” (this episode). Dead Time Lords steering a dead world, a new Mondas, reaching as far back as the Cybermen’s first episode. Ages ago, cloth-faced surgery ghouls, now ornate necrotic royalty. Their rotting castle, their rotting world, hanging over another vestige of imperialism about to violently fall (and for no other real narrative reason other than “Wouldn’t The Daleks and Cybermen All Look Fucking Cool In The Romanov Winter Palace?”).

The Qurunx taking the form of the kid. “... shows us what we instinctively want to protect,” the Doctor says, not realizing she’s speaking mostly of herself. Timeless Child reflection. A mystery of the universe captured and exploited by empire. Etc etc. You know.

The Rasputin plot is nonsense, and that’s the point. The Master is fucking pathetic in this, pitiful. Buzzing with the Cyberium, twitching with suicide, his I CANNOT STAND COMING FROM YOU from The Timeless Children rearing up as a childish schoolboy taunt of I’M GOING TO TURN YOU INTO ME. “But then, you were a rubbish schoolboy, too” Ruth later mocks him. Tegan and Ace won’t be phased, hurling insults back, standing their ground. In a take on the Doctor/Master where the Doctor has no time for him, no patience, all burnt bridges and belittling playing along, no one in the narrative hurts for him, aches for him. He’s a nasty little wet gremlin in this, truly the most mean-spirited possible take on the worst Ainley serials with all of s12′s miserable self-hate. Him dying as Rasputin was peak humiliation. “Don’t force me to go back to being me” and then dying in a Rasputin cosplay. I dunno. Very mean-spirited “we’re fucking done with you, dude,” I like it.

Vinder’s so fucking hot. Sacha was so fucking cute in Jodie’s clothes, his short little Doctor haircut, the clip-on piercings, I couldn’t handle it.

The traitor Dalek bringing up the funniest fanwank loophole to justify its inexplicable radicalization lmao. Kaleds, Daleks, who’s truly the impure race? “Did we never rewrite that constitution?” I got way too fucking excited at the quiet nod to Davros. The ease with which the traitor was caught and exploited makes we wonder how often this actually happens within the race? Especially when’s executed by the deeper, nastier, clean commanders while clearly being a magma damaged worker, a grunt.

The TV Movie Body Swap™ verbatim, ho-lee shit, “Dress for the occasion” quip and everything. God. God. The War Games’ forced regeneration careening into it too. And then the Master Doctor, the Doctor Master, “Introducing Sacha Dhawan as the Doctor,” he just collapses under it? He’s even more sniveling and wet, piling on question marks and scarf and fanwank, blowing on Troughton’s recorder.

GOD!!!!! G O D. The robes far more like the TV Movie, the apocalyptic crossroads with telephone wire, Eight and Seven bickering. Ugh.

I’m so fucking glad I reconnected to the Davison era as hard as I did last year because Tegan and Five’s reunion HURT lmao. “Brave heart.” Loved how EU the implication of Seven and Ace “falling out” was?

Ian and Jo killed me. I like to think the empty chair at the meeting was for Sarah Jane.

#The Power of the Doctor #I've got more thoughts but here's a batch lmao

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 2 years

Text

Safe from Something

Summary: How do you fight against things you can't even describe?

Warnings/Explicit 18+: None. Some brief discussion of sadness, depression, anxiety. Brief, non-specific, mention of childhood trauma.

Pairings: Dean x gn!Reader (could be a romantic or platonic pairing, you choose)

Word Count: 1156

A/N: I've been having a hard time lately, some past traumas coming up to hurt me, as they do. Well, anyway, it's all here in the story. But suffice it to say, I could very much use a cuddle from Dean to help me. My dear friend @deanwinchesterwifesstuff said she's been having a rough go of things too. So sweetie, I hope Dean's hug will help you too!

And anyone else who might be having a bad day or two (or three, or four, or five...)

Both the beautiful text dividers here and below were created by @talesmaniac89

Masterlist || Tag Lists

I heard the knock on my door, tentative and light. I ignored it once and it came again, slightly firmer.

I sighed and answered. "Yeah, come in!"

Dean turned the handle and stuck his head into the crack in the door.

"Hey kiddo. Just thought I'd check up on you." He pushed fully into the room, taking up most of the doorway with his big frame. He leaned against the jamb and folded his arms across his chest.

"You didn't eat much supper. Are you feeling okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."

"I didn't make the chilli too spicy did I?" He asked, lifting his hand. "Not too many jalapenos?"

I smiled lightly and shook my head. "No such thing as too spicy."

He folded his hand back against his bicep and gave a strong nod. "Damn right."

A short silence reigned until I broke it. "Well, I think I'm gonna call it a night so -"

"Not just supper though." Dean interrupted quietly. "You've hardly eaten anything over the last couple days."

I laughed lightly, but even I could hear the edge in it. "Geez, why are you tracking my food all of a sudden? You a dietician in your spare time?"

"And you're laughing and smiling different."

I scoffed. "Different how?"

He walked a few feet into the room, shoving his hands in his pockets as he answered. "Like you don't really mean them."

I swallowed hard at his keen observations. Should have known I couldn't hide anything from his hunter's eye.

I shook my head. "Look, you're imagining things. I'm fine. I just haven't been very hungry lately and I'm just fighting off a bug or something."

Dean walked over to my bedside and got down on his haunches to look up at me, instead of towering over me.

"That's crap and you know it." He said without preamble. "You need to talk to me, tell me what's wrong."

"Pfft. That's rich coming from you, such a master communicator!" I replied angrily.

Dean looked down and I felt immediately remorseful. He was just trying to help and he'd actually been doing much better lately, with trying to communicate his feelings. It went completely against his nature, but he was trying.

He nodded and looked up at me again. "You don't have to talk to me about it. You could talk to Sam, or Cas, or hey - why don't you give Jody a call?"

I reached out my hand and ran my fingers across his cheek and then pushed them through the hair at his temple, as though tucking his short hair behind his ear.

"If I was going to talk to anyone, it would be you."

His smile was sweet, and slightly bashful and it made me want to talk to him so badly. I wanted to tell him what was wrong, but how could I explain?

How could I talk about things I didn't properly understand, dark things that I couldn't quite remember? How could I explain that it was like looking at memories through thick glass? They were murky and obscured, and sometimes upside down.

All I knew was that occasionally feelings came to haunt my thoughts - sadness and hurt and things that made my skin crawl, but I couldn't really pinpoint the cause. I only knew I had scars from a monster that had left their fingerprints branded on my skin.

But I was too little to remember details, too little to really process the memory, I just processed the trauma without context, so now, some days, the sad leaked through everything, made a kind of panic seep into my world for no reason.

How could I explain that to him, when I didn't really understand it myself.

I shrugged. "There's really not...it's not really something I know how to talk about. I'm just," I brushed away a tear that fell against my will, afraid to look at Dean because I knew if I did, the rest of them would fall.

I shook my head angrily. "I'm just wounded and broken." I gritted my teeth against the pain. "Fucking pathetic."

Dean rose to sit on the side of the bed. He took both my hands in his and squeezed. I looked into his beautiful face at last, and just as I knew they would, my tears began to fall in earnest.

"First of all," Dean said sternly, "I never want to hear you say that again. You are not pathetic. Do you understand me?"

His mossy green eyes stared into mine until I nodded slightly, trying desperately to believe him.

He brought my hands up to his lips and placed a kiss on the back of each of them. His voice was softer when he continued.

"Secondly sweetheart, wounded and broken are not the same." He shook his head. "We're all wounded by something, some wounds run deeper than others. But honey, as long as you're up and moving, putting one foot in front of the other, getting through one day at a time, then you are NOT broken."

He smiled gently again and reached out to thumb away my tears that continued to fall. "And I promise you, that if you ever do break? Well, I'm right here to put you back together again, okay?"

My heart heard him, and I felt the constriction in my chest ease slightly. "Okay." I said in a little voice.

He leaned forward to kiss my forehead and then started to pull away and stand up, but I grabbed onto his arm and stopped him.

He looked back at me, and I bit my lip.

"Even if..." I cleared my throat and tried again. "Even if I can't talk to you about it, or explain it to you... would you, can you stay here and hold me, keep me safe from it anyway?"

He put his hand on mine where it rested on his forearm. "Of course, sweetheart."

I scooched over on the bed and Dean sat down beside me, his shoulders against the headboard and his long legs stretched out in front of him.

When he was settled he pulled me into his lap and I wrapped my arms around his waist, laying my cheek on his broad chest and nuzzling against him. He put one arm around my back and upper arms, squeezing me tight, and used the other to run his hand soothingly through my hair.

He began to hum something that sounded vaguely like a Metallica song, but I couldn't be sure. It didn't matter though, because the low rumble in his chest was what made me sigh deeply and feel the tension in my muscles begin to slowly drain away.

With Dean's strong arms wrapped around me, I felt safer than I'd felt in days. And for now at least, the darkness had been illuminated by the hunter who was my hero.

Dean Winchester had saved me once again.

1. Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays.

@lyarr24

@siospins2

@impalaslytherin

@akshi8278

@maggiegirl17

@candy-coated-misery0731

@nt-multi-fandom

@slytherinlyn314

2. Dean Winchester Fics Only.

@saikoswritings

@lgranger67

@carryonwaywardgirl

3. Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.)

@sunshineandwings86

@kazsrm67

@sexyvixen7

4. Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well)

@unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men

@awkward-and-indecisive

@maliburenee

@supernatural4life2022

@spn730015

@b3autyfuldisast3r

@kickingitwithkirk

@waywardbaby

@foxyjwls007

@deanwanddamons

@deandreamernp

@deanwithscissors

@myloversgone

@snowlovespie

@leigh70

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@fangirlxwritesx67

@charred-angelwings

@hopefuldreamers-world

@mysherlock221b

@jensensgotyoudean

@stixnstripesworld

@thoughts-and-funnies

@magssteenkamp

@norman1967

@princessmisery666

@eevvvaa

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess

@deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy

@b-i-t-c-h-i-e

@twirpbunwarrior

@mysweetlittledesire

@waynes-multiverse

@mrsjenniferwinchester

@bernasaurus

@jensenslady79

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