#all of these old men fucked each other

[hunterrrs]

where’s that isles bang crosby headline… they’re taking it literally again

#all of these old men fucked each other #sidney crosby #cal clutterbuck #casey cizikas #pittsburgh penguins #new york islanders

[hella1975]

it's been pointed out on here before that a lot of terf arguments are actually rooted in sexist idealology that feminists fought and died to unnormalise decades ago and that's its own kettle of fish but one thing i also find very frustrating about this so called 'radical' feminism is that it's so... defeatist? like the moment you categorically label an entire section of society as Bad and Inherently Evil then there's also the implication that nothing can be done about it, and it completely takes all accountability away. saying all men are evil is just another way of saying boys will be boys. he raped her because he's a man. he hit her because he's a man. he didn't listen because he's a man - it's almost offensively oversimplified. there's no point trying to fix this issue in society because men are just Like That, okay! so now what? it's not like they're going anywhere, so you just accept that 50% of the population are evil and will forever treat you terribly and there's nothing to be done about it bc they're biologically predisposed to it? like is that fr the argument here? you're soooo radical for that

#this is coming from someone who used to very genuinely be a misandrist #ironically it was only when i started actually analysing my own feminism that i got MORE confrontational with men #and started respecting my boundaries a lot better BECAUSE i started holding them accountable again #like when men treat me like shit nowadays i dont just write it off as 'what did you expect? he's a man' i get MAD about it #because i EXPECT BETTER FROM THEM even if it's just tiny shit women have to deal with daily #i hold them to just as high a standard as im held to and i make them take accountability when they dont meet that #and whether you realise it or not even on a subconscious level the MOMENT you black-and-white blanket statement all men as bad #you stop holding them accountable. #like it is literally just boys will be boys. do terfs seriously not realise they're sending feminism BACKWARDS #like if a girl came to me with her trauma and people - other girls no less - tried to comfort her with 'yeah all men are evil' #id be fucking furious. like no he did that because he was a piece of shit that had it normalised to him that women arent to be respected #dont you dare let him off the hook with something as simple and uncritical as 'he's a man' #i promise you men like that will MUCH prefer a blanket statement such as 'all men are as bad as each other' #than actually being point blank told they're an abuser or a rapist. because being lumped together is comfortable and even empowering #wheras isolating their behaviour with words that are Bad and Ugly (LIKE 'rapist') is not comfortable at all and has heavy connotations #idk i dont think radical feminism is always bad on its own it can be v liberating. just terfs and misandrists that i have a problem with #dropping this post in a piranha tank and closing tumblr knowing im gonna have some thirty year old karen yelling at me within 5 mins #i probably wont respond to any terf comments bc they literally mentally exhaust me with their stupidity #but that also depends on my mood and ability to keep my mouth shut LMFAO we shall see

[chr0n1c-ag0ny]

Kunidazai reunion sparking them finally, actually, truly getting together (cause they're idiots who have essentially been and old married couple for years and were the last to notice)? I think yes.

kunikida offering his apartment to Dazai, as his partners was in no shape to be lived in, after all the time that had passed with no upkeep and the time it spent in police custody, being milled through for any potential evidence. there was no way he could let him go back to it, not now, not tonight. Kunikida needs him close tonight.

Dazai takes him up on his offer. he doesn't want to be alone. he won't admit it, but he can't be alone, he doesn't know what it would do to him, what he would do to himself if he was left unattended. so he gratefully, while making jabs and cracking jokes at his partner, follows him home.

their night proceeds as normal, as it had for years of Dazai crashing with him. Kunikida cooks while Dazai sits up on his counter, rambling on and on about anything he can think of. Kunikida never realized how much he missed Dazai's voice until the relief of not cooking in silence hit him.

when they eat Dazai drags his partner to sit on the couch, even though Kunikida hates eating on the couch, knowing he would make an exception for him, just for tonight. they sit too close to just be friends, coworkers, partners even. their arms touch, their knees lean into one another.

when Dazai's finished with his dinner he lays a head in Kunikida's lap, turning on the TV, flipping through all of his partners recorded media until he finds the show they had been watch together, every episode that aired since he was arrested is recorded and unwatched. with blurry eyes he hits play. Kunikida's hand is in his hair and it doesn't leave.

they don't talk, they don't have to, they've talked enough. for now they just want to sit and feel each other's touch and hear each other's breathing. it's all they need.

its nearly 3 in the morning when Dazai finally starts to doze, he'd curled up into a ball, halfway in Kunikida's lap at that point, holding onto one of his partner's hands. Kunikida knows he should get them both to bed, he should offer Dazai the room and take the couch, that he should have the man some space after all he'd been through. but he aches at the thought of leaving his side, at being separated again.

but he doesn't even have to say anything, should have known he never had to, Dazai's always been sharp as a tack, his intuition, almost terrifyingly, even sharper.

His partner turned lazily in his arms, looking up at him with tired but knowing eyes. let's go to bed, they say. you don't have to go, you can stay, they assure. please don't go, they beg.

Kunikida breathes a long, heavy, sigh of relief.

"ok," he answers, before finally getting up after hours laid up on the couch, watching as Dazai continues to doze.

his heart aches with feverish heat. he'd missed him so much he had begun to go mad, had gone mad really, and now his partner was back, he was back and alive and mostly well, and now he was so relieved it ached in its own right.

he went about making up his bed for two, for Dazai, knowing he needed enough pillows and blankets for half a dozen people, but kept stopping to look over the back of the couch to make sure he was still there, still with him, that he hadn't been taken away again. by the time he's done he's probably crossed his apartment two to three dozen times, from his room to the couch again and again, before he's finally decided the room was good enough, there were enough blankets for Dazai to cover himself with and pillows to hide in.

when he goes to Dazai this time around, he kneels in front of him, carding a hand through his hair, tracing a thumb over his brow, to his nose, and then his cheek. his partner's eyes flutter open, a smile graces his lips.

"come on," he whispers, worried too loud a voice would shatter the delicate air of safety and comfort around them, "time for bed."

Dazai hums, getting up with a stretch and a yawn, much like a cat, before gingerly hopping off the couch and into Kunikida's arms, a false smile and air of cheekiness to him, hiding the ache Kunikida knew all too well resided in his partner's heart as much as it did his own, if not more. he holds him for a moment, savoring the feeling of him in his arms, before taking his hand and leading him to their room.

Dazai knows the drill. he goes to the other man's dresser and picks out a pair of his own sweatpants, ones he kept here for nights like these, and as per usual, one of Kunikida's shirts, gliding across the room, out into the hall, and into the bathroom.

Kunikida crawls into bed, feeling like he's been hit by a bus by the days events, and ends up half asleep by the time he feels Dazai crawling into bed next to him.

he expects to see bandages peeking from the borrowed nightshirt, to watch Dazai shield himself from the world, from his partner's touch, with a swarm of blankets, for Dazai to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for him to fall asleep first.

but tonight's different, so different.

Dazai's skin is bare where the shirt doesn't cover, his scars on display, each and every one of them, the burns, the cuts, the bullet wounds, the ones Kunikida has never one been able to decipher the story of. they're all bared to him, with no visible hesitation on Dazai's end.

when his partner climbs into bed he neglects the pile of blankets laid out for him, the pillows too. instead he lifts the comforter that's draped over the entirety of the bed, Kunikida included, sliding beneath it like it's natural to him, like he'd done it every night for months, years even.

he looks at Kunikida for a moment, silently asking for permission, which Kunikida cannot give fast enough, and then Dazai's in his arms, his own wrapped around his neck, nothing between them but the clothes on their backs.

Dazai pulls away, just a bit, Kunikida almost cries out, almost pulls him back in, but knows better. he lets dazai go, but he never leaves. he's moved just far back enough so they could both look each other in the face.

"I missed you," he spoke softly, his hands shifting to hold the blonde's face.

"I missed you too,"

there's a moment of silence.

"I love you." the words are hesitant, skittish even, like he's unsure of how Kunikida would take it.

"I love you too," he replies without a second thought. he loves his partner, he loves him, more than he knows what to do with, so much it drives him mad and makes him ache.

Dazai nods. he's thinking, Kunikida can see it on his face, his mind is going a million miles a second. worry flashes on Dazai's face, and Kunikida panics, goes to pull away, goes to give Dazai space, even if his own skin burns at the thought of parting with Dazai's.

but Dazai doesn't let him, he clings to him, "Don't go, please don't go, please," he begs.

his voice is desperate, so Kunikida doesn't. he watches his partners face twist and turn, watches as fear spreads across his brow and tears gather in his eyes, and he doesn't know what to do because this has never happened.

but than Dazai leans in, slowly, tugging Kunikida closer so they can meet in the middle. Kunikida feels his partners lips on his. he kisses him back. he can't decide if that was a foolish decision or not. It's soft, softer than either of them knew they were capable of, it's gentle and earnest and good.

Dazai stops after a moment, lingers in Kunikida's space before looking him in the eye once more, he doesn't speak, they don't need to. Dazai looks at him, tears running down his face, but he's smiling, he's ok. his thumbs wipe away tears Kunikida hadn't realized he'd shed. they're ok.

"I love you," Dazai mutter's again, speaking again before the other man can answer "Kunikida?"

"yes, Dazai?"

"don't go."

"I won't."

"promise?"

"I promise." its a foolish thing to say, but Dazai needs to hear it, hell, he needs to hear it, "I'm not going anywhere, so long as you promise me the same."

he hesitates, his eyes avoid Kunikida's for a moment, before returning from their shared gaze, "I'll try, I promise, I'll really try this time"

Kunikida nods, slowly moving to kiss Dazai's forehead, the brunette leans into it.

"I know you will," he whispers into Dazai's skin, "and I'll always be here when it's too hard to manage on your own."

there's silence again, but it doesn't feel wrong or heavy, its soft and warm and it feels right.

"I love you," Kunikida finally returns.

there's more silence, Dazai just looks at him, just watches, fingers playing with Kunikida's hair and drifting over his face until something clicks into place in the other man's mind, something nobody but Dazai could ever understand.

he leans in once more to kiss his cheek before he settles against Kunikida's chest, letting out a pleased huff as he curls himself into a ball, "goodnight," he muttered, almost instantly going still with sleep.

"goodnight," Kunikida replied, knowing Dazai wasn't going to hear him, pressing his own goodnight kiss to the top of Dazai's head before burying his face in the other man's hair (Dazai doesn't smell like his shampoo anymore. it makes something in him cringe. he tries and fails to ignore it).

it takes Kunikida a while to fall asleep, he's too busy running the night over and over and over again in his mind. he holds Dazai close and lets his fingers trace over scars, feeling over his too-thin frame, feeling each bone beneath his skin. there's so many thoughts rushing through his mind, to many fears, worries, anxieties, what ifs. what if I hurt him? what if I break him? what if I ruin this?

his thoughts are only stopped when Dazai gently nudges his head into his jaw, hands pulling Kunikida's off of him, holding them gently in his own (he should have known sleep wouldn't come that easy to Dazai).

he takes a deep breath, steadying himself and his mind, his partner's hands squeeze his gently, good, they seem to say, and sleep finally starts to pull at him once more.

he lets it happen, let's his eyes close and his mind go blank, knowing Dazai is safe, he's safe in his arms, he won't be taken away again. he sleeps knowing Dazai loves him, that he kissed him, that tomorrow they'll wake up like this, and maybe, just fucking maybe they can finally have this one happy ending.

#I love when two emotionally constipated men find ways to be indirectly vulnerable and soft with one another. it matters so much to me. #they don't know how to talk about it or what they mean to one another or what they need from the other but they make it work #but after so long of dancing around each other only to be ripped apart for so long something just gives way and for once its in their favor #I hc that Dazai can be quite graceful in a ghostly and/or feline sort of way when he wants to be. he hops to his toes instead of standing- #glides instead of walking. stares into your soul with these big old eyes instead of just look. so thats just sprinkled in here. #on another note. these men are idiots. I said getting together but for christ sake they've been together for years they just never noticed. #I cringed at their stupidity multiple times while writing this. #dazai is scared of loving kunikida. he's scared his love will damn the man he loves. he's scared he'll leave too #but he can only run from his feelings so long #kunikida is scared to love dazai. he's scared he will find a way to break him. that he won't be careful enough. that he'll screw it all up. #they're so fucking messy and I love them your honor #I have so much to say about them #kunikida bsd #kunikida doppo #bsd kunikida #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai bsd #kunikidazai #kunidazai #if you see typo's no you don't

[boilingheart]

best thing about mathias shaw is that there's just no sex appeal. zero. none. nada. this guy's got no rizz or whatever they're calling it these days. nothing. yeah he's like well built he's a master spy and one of the top rogues for sure, he's uptight and got that van dyke mustache and wears a corset 24/7 but he's just so fucking stick in the mud boring he's a vibe killer being around him is rancid he's so uptight and to the book you can't stand him. he curls his fuckin mustache he smiles at nothing. in theory he is hot as hell. catboy type of modern middle aged man babygirl. my girlfriend in theory. right. but he's so comically unfuckable. old white guy child soldier who's never fucking smiled in his life until flynn fairwind showed up. shout out to flynn fairwind, who is overflowing with raw sex appeal and charm and charisma, who took one look at this boring unsalted alliance spymaster who curls his mustache and hides his personality behind 37 reinforced walls, said "i can fix him" and then he DID. it's so funny to me. i'm correct about everything btw.

#bheart talks #sorry guys i'm coming back to wow and like every old wow hyperfixation is slowly rising from the dirt and reanimating #also i say all of this with love i love mathias shaw so dearly #if y'all remember he was my blorbo for the entirety of 2020 and i am background obsessed with him #but like. for me personally unlike with all the other blorbos of mine where i'm l #i'm like ''hey babygirl'' and i sit here and objectify my collection of middle aged grizzled jaded men. mathias shaw just. does NOT fit #he is simply NOT in this category and that is SO FUNNY TO MEEEE #in theory and on paper he could be absolutely yes he hits all the boxes yet in execution? negative points in sex appeal #and flynn is smitten and in love with him they are madly in love with each other #mathias shaw you are so boring /affectionate #my dearest fucked up ginger whose background is mostly duct taped cardboard cutouts and my personal hcs and imagination for the rest #mathias shaw

[cuubism]

when the impetus to finish a book series is less 'to find out what happens' and more to be able to rant about ur ships on main without spoilers

#once i finish all 6000 pages or whatever and i'm free to be openly unhinged about dalinar kholin it's over it's so over #i'm holding my stupid unhinged stormlight archive ships like a dog ripping apart a toy #holding out the pieces like can i interest you all in some fucked up old men? #the book keeps handing me young protagonists to ship and instead i'm like Those Old Men FUCKED! #those old men ARE EXES AND THAT'S WHY THEYRE TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER #soon. soon i'll be able to spread the TRUTH

[babyjakes]

even in a different life, you would’ve been mine.

#DONT TALK TO ME #IM THINKING ABOUT THOSE OLD MEN AGAIN #gggggrrrrrrrrrrr grumble grumble #i love them #i miss them #give them back to me #universe ​im begging #you would not believe the stucky pics i found #when looking for one just now #all of them made me so 🥺🥺🥺 #i forgot how FUCKING CANON stucky is #like #the way they look at each other??? #sickening #makes my gay little heart hURT #stucky #captain america #the winter soldier #steve rogers #bucky barnes #steve x bucky #DUHHH #Spotify

[swordfaery]

anyway my favourite thing about dead men fanfiction is the wildly different characters we all write. like. not even the ones who have been dead for years and have so little actual characterisation but even the ones who were alive in canon were probably very different one hundred, two hundred, three hundred years ago. also theyre under characterised in fiction. also we are all just having fun

#guy who barely posts about skulduggery pleasant: so ive be rereading some of my old favourite dead men fanfiction #as well as my own dead men fanfiction #and damn if we arent all writing a bunch of different fucking guys. to be fair i have gone rogue bcos like. cant be fucked w canon #dont wanna write about war #heyo what if it was pre war and everyone was still. convinced their wouldnt be one #also i love the idea of skulduggery being. just super fucking irresponsible devil may care live laugh love sorta guy pre-war #spoilt. rich parents who dont care much about him. loads of magic tutors. #i mean think about the class implications of the dead men #skulduggery. an elemental. a difficult discipline that clearly requires a level of training and scholarli-ness #his NAME is skulduggery #you come across that name if your educated. if you read a lot #this is a man who has been afforded every privilege #and like. i think a lot of sorcerers are implied to be very upper class #or like. kinda rich and fancy about it #but obviously that wouldnt be the case for everyone bcos magic isnt just genetic right like some ppl just show up with it #and like even then #dexter vex #anton shudder #like as far as im aware these are just names ppl have #and slightly uncommonly used words #disciplines which are more emotional/physical #as opposed to 'learned' #i just think its interesting #i was gonna have my dead men all meet n be friends pre war #but tbh i think them meeting and not being friends is better #i think theres a sort of tragedy in them being as close as they were because of the war #and not having that post war or pre war #its actually really fucking sad but like. evidently they didnt hang out in the interim when most of em were still alive #or at least that much #im wondering if like. they needed a couple hundred years of like. detox bcos seeing each other just pulled them back into that mindset

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

This Doesn’t Mean Anything

NA contemporary romance about a sex-repulsed girl starting uni and meeting an upperclassman who hangs out in the same study room and coffeeshop as she does

struggling with her asexuality, new friendships, and harassment

#This Doesn’t Mean Anything #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #well. #I was overall enjoying the first half of this! then it went to shit lol #for one. WAY TOO LONG. but also feels like scenes would be very short then skip to the next day #I liked how the first half of the book was just developing the relationship as a friendship. #there’s a conflict at 50% and they literally are terrible to each other for almost the entire rest of the book #also the conflict of why they can’t get together feels manufacured. #he feels like he (21) is too old for her (18) and while i’m like…yeah I understand that im iffy about it too; #as the reader we know they’re going to get together anyway. so it just feels stupid. and made that way just to cause a conflict. which lasts #too long. #2) #then men are SO overprotective to the point it’s kinda. not creepy exactly but like why the fuck can none of these women go anywhere without #a dude accompanying them? the MMC even. when she tells him to leave her alone (because he rejected her) he’s still being all protective and #and calling her sweetheart like I started to actively dislike him. it’s like. borderline manipulative ‘nice guy’ #THEN it threw in a SA at 80% or whatever which. a) can we not SA our ace characters and b) is just not handled well. it feels like an excuse #to make them hurt/comfort and then get together aka end their conflict. which. oof. #3) #‘i was looking up why i dont want sex and i saw the word asexuality but couldn’t find much else maybe the GSA could help’ #you can’t use info-not-on-the-internet as a plot excuse when. there is endless info about that on the internet? I don’t think this is set in #2005? also she doesnt even go ask the gsa #while her sex repulsion is a significant part of the book actual references to asexuality are extremely brief and half of it is shoved into #the last chapters. and it’s almost entirely her being self hating and the LI affirming her #anyway I can see the INTENTION is good here; the quality of writing just makes it all bad #like maybe these things are the author's experience and that's fine. the way it's written is uncomfortable. #i can tell all the 5* reviews are people who have never read an ace book before. i promise there is better #i think there’s gonna be a companion sequel about her roommate being aroace which. I don’t have super high hopes for writing-wise but I gues #guess I'm interested

[jibunwo]

return of the disaster class hero is a lot of fun. wouldnt call it good necessarily but it is highly enjoyable and also i really like the weird gay thing lee gun and hugo have going on

#genuinely the embodiment of two old men with a weird gay thing going on. #hugos got a wife and kids but if he would admit to wanting to fuck lee gun his wife would be fine with it. his kids would not but thats not #bc they dont want their dad to be with someone other than their mom its because they think their dads a major loser whos not good enough for #lee gun. and hugo is like canonically word of god lee guns favorite person in the entire world a la dokhyuk. and a pen that can only write #the truth revealed that hugo thinks lee gun is the best person ever and would do literally anything for him. AND THEY SPEND ALL THEIR TIME #TALKING SHIT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND GETTING IN FISTFIGHTS. the more i talk abt this the more i realize they kind of are discount dokhyuk. #if cheon jiwoo had a bigger role we could have discount yoohankim but i dont think the author cares enough about women for that. #ok this was supposed to be a very short text post but if i talked abt it this much it needs a tag. damn #rdch #<- another classic james acronym for the books. that ones particularly ugly too #mine

[jamlabs]

Feeling insane about them again

#j.txt #i feel so fucking sick and am so tired but god i miss writing them. #i need to write toxic old man yaoi that ends with them absolutely destroying an office and all their subordinates are just looking like #tails.png at the sight. #hi new followers. i love gay middle aged men who beat the shit out of each other and kiss in the dead of night when no one is watching #and all you can hear is radio static the rustling of tarps and the chirp of cicadas

[mudstoneabyss]

Carlos and Kevin fucked so Charles and Cecil have to now also. it's equality. also just to see what happens

#ive barely slept but have drank a lot of coffee so now my brains rotating these old men at 130mph while my bodys operating at 2 #i think tehy should all fuck each other. peace and love on planet gay sex <3 #nsft #joyousposting

[bucklikethedollar]

i think a lot of what’s Wrong with me can be easily explained by the fact that when i was in elementary school, literally from like first grade on, my family would watch glee together weekly, so i was already obsessed with glee from my very early formative years, and then on top of that we would also religiously watch downton abbey. so i was a second grader who listened to glee covers nonstop and also knew the intricate inner workings of an early 20th century british aristocracy manor

#another fun fact is that i learned what gay people are through fucking glee of all things #except ironically i didn’t quite get it yet #so my little first grader brain decided that lesbians were basically men and gay guys were basically women #so i thought that i solved everything by saying that gay men and lesbians should just date each other #now if i were to say that today i’d be right and playing some very interesting 4d gender chess #but as a seven year old. not so much. #bucky’s thoughts

[cyberdragoninfinity]

my mental tier list of fav 5Ds characters is still sorting itself out about a month after finishing it but within like the last 2 weeks “all four of Illiaster’s Stars of Destruction” have violently clawed their way up the list and crawled into my brain and Given Me Maladies and i am trying very hard to be normal about it (failing)

#ygo posting #simply have become quite a bit invested in these fucked up old men at the end of the world who only had each other #and so they tried to play god about it and fix everything and all of them fuckin BLEW IT #and half of them are ITALIAN. IM OBSESSED WITH THEM

[the-acid-pear]

I love it when there's two characters that are So best friends. Like the besties ever. So besties so you could not read something romantic in between them unless you forced yourself to believe so. This doesn't mean they aren't close to each other, no, this means they are as close to each other as possible and yet they are so platonic their love could never be read as romantic. They are simply and truly: bffs.

#luly talks #and y'all know who's THE best example for this? the old men in mi obra maestra #they were THE besties ever like they hugged and defended each other to death and lived alone together w no women and yet. #they were so besties and nothing fucking else... #like its not easy to build a bond w absolutely no homoerotic touches lying underneath but its possible and its great #another example is of course ash n pablo <3 #ash rlly can just call him shit like My Pablo and it still is the most platonic ever again all time besties #this does not apply to michael and sucre those two had homoerotic tension unfortunately

[branchiopod]

can’t sleep. keep making myself mad about shit

#it’s like three things rn #someone from my old college had it out for me and i genuinely have no idea why #like they were always rude as fuck to me and in the first few weeks we knew each other i was being interrogated ab slur and pronoundiscourse #asked how i felt ab he/him lesbians and i was like i’m not a lesbian so…who fucking cares #and we got into slurs somehow and i wish i could’ve been more articulate bc i was like yeah. i think some trans men can say the d slur #and they were like why aren’t you saying it and my response was cuz i don’t feel like it #but the point i wish i had thought well enough to make is like first of all slur discourse is stupid #and the word dyke is central to so many people’s identities not just currently but in the past too #when i was still fem-presenting and pre-any sort of transition i was a dyke. that’s the best word for how i felt then and now looking back #AND you don’t know the intricacies of someone’s identity. are you gonna police this shit? leave me tf alone #also pissing me off lol #is the fact that i dated someone who hated the parts of me that i like #shit spanned from like him saying it about tank tops and sweatpants immediately after i said they’re gender affirming for me #to not being able to deal with me being loud to the point that i re-triggered a depressive episode as soon as i got out of one #when im doing well im loud and excitable but they couldn’t handle that so i just shoved it down #and last thing. did anyone else deal with the predatory gay stereotype bc i never see ppl talk ab it but i was a huge target for it #it’s affected my ability to just. function as person like i can’t compliment people without making myself panic #the few times i’ve seen it talked ab is specifically the predatory lesbian stereotype #which does make me wonder how much of my experience was fueled by that and how much was just generic homophobia

[a-story-teller]

Had another dream story idea and it's BAD out here y'all. My subconscious said "you don't go for sad old white men yaoi? Well here's one and you have to care about it so much. Good luck"

#the braiiiin worms #The surrounding story was very good lotr asoiaf 80's fantasy epic and then there were these two dudes just So Achingly In Love oh my GOD #Basically they had been knights together back in the day during their own Young Men Do Big Things story and deposed the evil mage king #They were just village boys turned soldiers who fell in love and did something good #but then the one was basically forced to become king because he'd killed the last one and had to get married and produce an heir #So he does get married but tells the queen he's never going to sleep w her and she can fuck who she likes and her kids can have the throne #Since he's not even nobility he doesn't care about The Bloodline #His lover is promoted to “protector of the king” 👀 and they manage to be happy despite the restrictions of royal life #Eventually though it comes out that the king's kids aren't his #And this sparks a conflict between “loyalists” who want the True King's Legacy and the “monarchists” who want Real Noble Lineage #With the queen basically standing back and watching it happen as the crown prince decides now is a great time to try “patricide” #the lover finds the king's nephew (the loyalists' heir) and tells the guard to take him to distant family to raise until he's old enough #But the guard is like “he's gonna get found out in no time” so instead sells him to ppl who find exotic kids for nobles to keep as wards #and he basically disappears into a faraway household and the lover doesn't even know #Meanwhile the king survives a poison attempt but is now physically impaired and on high alert #He leaves with a small retinue to Do Some Business but when he comes back the castle gates are up and arrows start raining down #So it's him and his little group at the edge of a market vs. an entire castle #In the ambush/battle he is seriously wounded #and they try to fake his death to get back in the castle and then nurse him/sneak him out #But the prince doesn't take it at face value and stabs the “body” to make sure #and the lover has to act through watching his all-but-husband who'd just planned their escape from all this get killed in front of him #So that it doesn't blow his cover and get him killed too #That's about where the dream ended but I'm uggg g h gg #I'm SO invested in these two fantasy gays and their incredibly poetic relationship #Doesn't hurt that there were like 3 very graphic sex scenes between them across the timeline #And they were so obsessed with and hungry for each other the whole time.... the last one was just before the ambush #after the king has been left near-immobile from the poison and they're like 40-something #and the lover takes him away from all that and back to the days it was just them and he was strong #It was sooo romantic but also hell when can I get ravaged like that #Anyway I'm ruined and I can't even really work on it I have too many other things to do