swordfaery

[swordfaery]

peoplewhomakebuildingsfuck inordertomakemorebuildings.org/careers

[swordfaery]

beating people w a stick that says “hes just some guy” every time they go through idolizing a famous dude and beating people w a second larger stick that says “hes still just some guy” every time enough time passes they subconsciously realize that was annoying and start acting like hes the devil to overcompensate for past cringe

#sir david attenborough

[swordfaery]

One thing americans are never prepared for when they come to ireland for the first time is all the animated skeletons, you see them going about their business buying scratchies and packs of lambert & butler. it's just normal here, some curse or another inflicted by Cromwell or some other british goblin. There's probably some ancient artefact they need to return to its home in a cave on Galtymore or one of the other mountians down south. They dont seem too fussed about it so I dont think we should be.

[swordfaery]

panicking

[swordfaery]

One of my favorite things about Jane Austen is that she knew the real fear wasn’t running into some terrifying Frenchman or finding your lover’s wife in the attic…it was having to spend time with someone who is slighter cooler than you are, or playing piano in front of a critical audience, or thinking a picnic will be the perfect time for your jokes but then it isn’t

[swordfaery]

you should be able to say "line" if you don't know what to say in a social situation

[swordfaery]

next up in my lesbian visibility week series is the incomparable tracy chapman, of course

[swordfaery]

next up in my lesbian visibility week series is the incomparable tracy chapman, of course

[swordfaery]

next up in my lesbian visibility week series is the incomparable tracy chapman, of course

[swordfaery]

sometimes i don't care about a poll but if i see my mutuals feel strongly about it then i silently vote for their option and i expect nothing in return because that's the kind of beautiful selfless person i am

[swordfaery]

being forcably feminised by not doin laundry for several weeks

#my only clean t shirts are the girl ones

[swordfaery]

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

#my mug of tea holding the business together #when someone mentions an interpersonal crime i commited

[swordfaery]

absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war

[swordfaery]

“homework should be done as late as possible on a sunday night in a state of desperation tinged with regret”

[swordfaery]

Me: [stands up too fast] 💫⭐💫⭐💫⭐💫

My entire cardiovascular system: [still sitting on the couch] Idk where the fuck you think you're going, but I am not coming with you

[swordfaery]

Alex and Steve Minecraft are t4t. Their deadnames? Adam and Eve. In this essay I will

[swordfaery]

when someone's smoking in public i'm like that cartoon thing where you smell a pie and start floating