#ahhh idk I’m just stressing myself out

[weedplantar]

Maybe it’s just the evil nighttime emotions, but I started thinking about how my cane is going to be here tomorrow and now I’m overthinking about how much I do NOT want to deal with people staring and asking random questions and making assumptions/judgments about my disability. I remember how bad it was the last time I used a cane and I just don’t want to go through it again, even though ik it’ll help tons :/. How do y’all deal with ableism surrounding mobility aids?

#I remember people thinking my disability was caused by me being fat and were really rude about it #even though they’re completely unrelated #which was really harmful for 13-14 year old me #I’m slightly better at shaking off rude comments but that specific type of ableism gets to me sometimes #and then there’s the ‘but you’re so young!’ comments and intrusive questions about my disability #ahhh idk I’m just stressing myself out #I’m only just now getting past my social anxiety. I don’t want to move backwards in my progress because of this #disabled #cane user #chronically ill #mobility aids

[the-stray-pup]

#the stray rants #tw for the ranty ranty type thingies that I will max this out for to get the see more read more thingy for so boop beep bop chop lip tip nip #okay anyway softer things first incase it hasn’t popped up yet but I’m like legit so fucking stressed and on the thinnest thread and like #at this point I’m not even gonna be able to stay clean. and it’s like I just finished healing for the last time I relapsed that it’ll look #weird if it just pops up agajn you know what I mean? so it’s like I mean yeah I could let myself sh but at the same time it would be harder #to be like oh yeah I scratched myself in the same spot again 🤪 and I’m just so fucking over everything like lemme just slit my throat becaus #this all just needs to stop. like this anxiety fucking kills me and it’s so unsettling and I Fucking hate it and myself and I literally can #not handle it my dudes like ughhhh #idk I guess I wish I actually had some good coping mechanisms and that my stupid brain wouldn’t make me feel untrue things because it’s just #real fucking annoying at this point and I just don’t know how much longer I can handle this shit because I’ve been on this short tiny thin #thread for such a long time and I’ve literally never been this Fucking bad before in my entire life like it’s truly just terrible and I dont #wanna deal with this anymore ahhh idk just 🧍🏻‍♂️ #i want to cry honestly even though I already did today #but idk 🥲 someone come kill me please #joking unfortunately 🥺💔

[astonmartinii]

charles leclerc x author!reader | instagram au

pairing: charles leclerc x author!reader (the book is by ottessa moshfegh)  

y/nusername 

y/nusername: something big is coming... stay ready. 

liked by emrata, charles_leclerc and 108,978 others 

girlblogger4life: ahhh i’m so excited 

f1girl42: why did charles like this?

softricciardo: omg f1 and y/n, my worlds colliding - does this mean the grid have read her book? 

albono23: imagine them reading homesick for another world... i cannot 

vanillanymph: please stand on me  

charles_leclerc 

charles_leclerc: happy to be back on the podium but we keep pushing for more! looking forward to seeing the rest of the us - forza ferrari 

liked by ferrari, y/nusername and 532,098 others 

ferrari: great drive charles 🤭

coquettefairy: why is y/n here? don’t you have a book to release? 

imdyingformysins: not my hot girl author liking ... sports 

cowboydaniel: idk why y/n is here but it looks like her taste in men is as good as her writing 

44lewishamiltonn: see the rest of the us? or see a certain someone? 

y/nusername 

y/nusername: my sophmore book, my year of rest and relaxation, is out everywhere tomorrow. proud of myself and thankful for all of those around me. 

liked by alexademie, charles_leclerc and 142,739 others 

gonegirl777: omg, the cover, your mind 

cl16mylove: charles liked again, the second post in a row

lestappen4life: he’s either really into reading, or really into her, can’t say i’m mad either way. 

leclerc16: she says she’s thankful for all those around her, could that include charles if they’re dating? 

iwanttobethemoon: idk what’s going on in these comments with the sports girlies, but y/n can’t be in a relationship, if she finds love who else will write about being unloveable? 

f1wagupdates 

f1wagupdates: charles spotted at y/n y/ln’s book launch in new york, the rumours about them heat up after they’ve liked a couple of eachother’s posts. should ferrari be worried due to the explicit nature of y/ln’s books as a potential bad look for il predestinato. what do you think, are they a cute couple? 

liked by maxielstan, pierregasly and 872 others 

redbullfan33: just cause he liked a couple posts doesn’t mean they’re together 

marlbororeds: keep mother’s name out of your mouth 

piscesbutterfly: literally, he would be lucky to be with her 

liked by charles_leclerc 

smoothoperatorsainz: who gives a fuck what ferrari thinks, they have enough problems with themselves before looking at y/n 

yukierrelover: PIERRE LIKED??? CHARLES LIKED A COMMENT ABOUT BEING WITH HER??? WHAT IS HAPPENING 

y/nusername

y/nusername:  a streetcar named desire 

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 201,097 others 

littebirdy: MOTHER AND FATHER?? 

mercedesqueen: there’s no way that’s not charles HE LIKED AS WELL 

teamlh44: i’m 100% certain that’s his helmet from miami as well 

danielricciardo: what about an f1 car named yearning 

charles_leclerc: that’s awful mate 

danielricciardo: just cause you bagged an author doesn’t mean we’re all fucking poets 

enchantedaniel: DANIEL AND CHARLES??? JUST CONFIRMED IT??? 

charles_leclerc 

charles_leclerc: no where i’d rather be than with you. congrats to my new york times bestseller girlfriend (pick up a copy of my year of rest and relaxation at your local bookstore now). 

liked by y/nusername, ferrari and 632,776 others 

y/nusername: i love you like the moon loves the tides 

y/nusername: also thank you for helping me after a spilt a whole bottle of red wine on myself 

violetricciardos: when will it be my turn 

virginsuicides: i’m taking a bath with my toaster rn 

sinnerandsaint: i guess if mother’s happy, i am. but who will write my sad books now? 

y/nusername: i’ll always be there for the sad girls 

pierregasly: i see, the man cuffs a writer and suddenly fancies himself a romantic 

charles_leclerc: your idea of romance is a wyd at 2am 

y/nusername 

y/nusername: adding wag to my resume, i don’t like the stress, why can’t they all get a trophy?

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 304,541 others 

charles_leclerc: the only trophy i need is being your trophy husband 

y/nusername:  shut up, i’m invested now, you better win 

charles_leclerc: yes ma’am 

33max33: they’re so fucking cute 

dietcokegirl: my parents... in a happy marriage??? 

charles_leclerc: i didn’t realise you had so many children? 

dietcokegirl: don’t hurt mother or we’ll kill you 

charles_leclerc: why are my kids being so mean to me?

#f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #charles leclerc #charles leclerc instagram edit #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader

[ham1lton]

you said u read ao3 fics! what are your f1 recs?

ahhh!!!!! this is the best question you could have ever asked me like ever i love you so much. i’ve been dying to talk abt this for a hot minute. i opened myself up to any sort of ship mostly because i cared more abt the fic quality then the ship you know? kinda glad i did it because my fav ones are not necessarily ships i am a fan of. it’s really long so i put it under a read more!!

okay so number one has to be the fic that was my first fav f1 fic. this is steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it). now this has a lot of elements that i love. guy who’s in his own head vs other guy who’s also in his own head but pretends he isn’t. also idk why but i’m always a sucker for a good medical au and this one fucking delivers!!! another maxiel fic i read was three rounds and a sound which has coffee shop owner daniel w/ stressed out student max. a lot of introspection but it’s also unfolding while the romance is. idk i just love this. it’s so good. last maxiel fic is come on, star boy which is a alt universe where daniel is the american guy he always wanted to be and max is the new transfer to his small town’s football team. it isn’t just incredibly written but everyone feels so real and vivid. i can visually see this in my mind everytime i read it. i listened to a lot of ethel cain while reading so that helped. i love this so much and the brocedes in the background?? you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves youuu 🗣️

i’m not really a landoscar girl, i’m gonna be honest. however, where i am going is right where i am, is just incredible. alt universe where the drivers live on a street version of stars hollow? brocedes that influence everything even though they’re long over? charles being insane over max? pierre hating on esteban every second that is possible (i was laughing every time he would just cuss his ass out unprovoked) and annoying george being their street’s version of gilmore girls’ taylor?? what more do u need in ur life?? also oscar in this fic is just my dream man. i think a croissant from him would fix me. actually i read a lot of this author’s landoscar fics and they’re so cute i was sending kudos as much as i can. like already home! just want to bite them both and put them in my pocket. they’re so obviously in love i want to shake them down and scream and smoosh them together. lawyer!oscar i love you. check out their profile!! incredible writer :)))

i’m also not a galex truther but the two of us, in sympathy is so cute!! rich boy!george with broke junior doctor!alex. george attempting to court alex and just absolutely failing. i love it. they’re such a mess i need them in my life. also this loscar future fic is so intense but incredible. i’m really bad at describing but i binged it on my train home and i was really glad i did - i promised to forget you now.

the reason i even got into f1 aka brocedes. this fic i think was one of the first i read. on the faultline which is just amazing. i can’t recommend it enough. read it if u can. another fav is a brocedes threesome with their toxic fucking each other via proxy aka new money, and it’s all cash. cute brocedes!! nico thinks lewis is his sworn enemy but everyone knows otherwise. roseberg’s vs haminkton. this was so cute and funny. cause why was nico saying lewis, the owner of a tattoo shop was stealing business from him… when he owns a florists… he’s so dramatic i want to tuck him in my pocket. this job will take my sole has the same premise but they’re both shoe shops which makes a lot more sense. i just love stupid rivalries and dramatic nico.

now back to my sweethearts, the lights of my life, the fires of my heart - sewis. all of these fics have past brocedes just for context. every tongue should confess talks about religion and queer identity in such a nuanced and delicate way? i adored this fic. transmotion which is another alt universe with fashion designer!lewis and footballer!sebastian both figuring out their careers, themselves and their relationship. maybe together we can get somewhere - this is an mpreg fic which usually isn’t for me but it’s about seb and lewis going on a road trip for an abortion and it’s so good. honestly the ending line of ‘it’s a good feeling, to know that sebastian’s outstretched hand is right there.’ it just stuck with me. i loved it. the numbering at bethlehem which is thee sewis fic to me. professor au?? this was made for me. like perfectly moulded. everything about this is art. i could do a full essay on this fic. just read it, it’s incredible. just amazing. sebastian as the child prodigy who has nowhere else to climb?? i love them both in this fic so much!!! tnab sewis get behind me!! i’m gonna protect u!!

okay i’m sorry this is so long. i just love art. i love writing. i just love the work these authors’ have spent putting together these masterpieces for free!! check them out!! leave kudos!! comment!! <3

#im always open to new recs!!! :D #and if u read these and wanna chat abt any - my asks are always open :D #ao3 fic recs #sewis #maxiel #landoscar #brocedes #anon ask

[the-slasher-madame]

Hey it’s me again lmao. I loved the last head cannons you did for me so I wanted to come back. Can you maybe do head cannons for teaching Brahms, Vincent and Thomas how to crochet? I’m learning myself and I think it’s pretty fun. Thank you stay groovy <3

I will eternally groove my humble broski, just for you. Ahhh I love this cause I knit!!! I was knitting a blanket but I vastly underestimated how much yarn I would need, so it may just be a scarf instead (I was gonna knit in strips...it may not be a single strip). My aunt crochets, she'd make dresses for my dolls when I was younger. Enjoy dear!!!

Brahms Heelshire:

This is going to go one of two ways. One, he will lose his goddamn mind. Rage quits like he's fighting sans in Undertale. Cannot sit still long enough and has no patience for the needle and the possible issues of A) the yarn starting to unravel or 2) it's too small/big for him to work with well

Personally, I don't know if that's my favorite. I think the second way it goes is he picks it up instantly (or maybe even already knows how, it seems like something his mother would do it and he'd pick it up to pass the time in the walls/connect to his mother, or she made him learn how to)

Going on the second path, he fricking loves it. Perfect way to fidget, to have a part of him moving. He'd make y'all a blanket to like, celebrate/commemorate your relationship. Then he moves on to beanies (I need him in a beanie like yesterday).

I do think he would get frustrated at first, especially if he's trying to make you something. He also could spend hours looking for yarn online. Could, would, and will

He'd make plushies, but you would have to beg him to. After he makes one, he's hooked (get it? Hehe). Would absolutely make stuffies of you and him, any pets y'all may get, favorite animals, everything (do you need like a pattern/recipe for crocheting plushies? And if anyone knows how to read a knitting recipe let me know haha-)

I love the image of you coming back from a very brief grocery run and he has some granny glasses on, the ones with the beaded string around the back, and he's just working away on a blanket

Relating to that, he stress-crochets. I've stress-knit before, and I can see him doing that if you have to go out for any period of time (keeps his stuffie of you in his lap and talks to it until you get back).

You have unlocked Granny Brahms, before long he starts baking apple pies Vincent Sinclair:

I'm a fairly crafty fellow myself, and I have a personal mission to learn as many types of art as possible. Vincent is the same way, and considers crocheting to fit under this category.

I don't think he has trouble with it at all, he's got pretty nimble fingers and can keep track of the yarn and the hook

I can also see him with the granny glasses, sitting by candlelight in the house or his workshop. AND he already worries about you like a grandmother, it fits perfectly lol

Loves making blankets and throws to stash around the house (IDK why it's hotter than hell in Louisiana). Would try to make things to make the town look more lively, and would store his extra blankets in one of the houses

AKJHFHD I can see him having certain sets of blankets for different seasons, like how clothing brands have the fall sets and winter sets and whatever? He's serious about his blankets

HE'D MAKE JONSEY LITTLE HATS AND BOOTIES OH MY GODDDDD

Would probably explore making plushies on his own, and gift you with one, then another one, and another one, and maybe just one more- (I am attached to my stuffies, even if mine aren't crocheted).

I don't think he'd make a family of stuffies like Brahms, but he'd absolutely make one of you to keep on his desk

Makes Jonesy toys, absolutely

Has a wide, varied range of yarn, and if he has to ask one of his brothers to get him yarn, he is very specific. This man is an artist, he will have the right color and he will dumb it down for his brothers to make sure they get the exact shade he needs

No he'd paint little cards with the color he needs 😭

I think he would like crocheted tops, both for the statues and for you. . . Thomas Hewitt

Ohhh this man is another crafty one, already has like a case full of hooks

It'd be cool to think he might have crocheted his first masks, not sure I'm sold on that but food for thought

Luda would teach him to crochet, it gives him something to do especially when he can’t play with the other kids and switches over to homeschooling

Makes blankets, even if it’s entirely too hot in tex-ASS to wear skin let alone fabric

Anyways along the lines of Luda Mae teaching him, she’d always look out for different colors she thinks he may like. Buys him yarn and hooks and is overall the supportive mother we all want and need

I think he’d also like crocheted clothes👀and he would kill Hoyt for even breathing lewdly near you

Plushies. Makes all the plushies. Makes you all the plushies. Every farm animal imaginable. They are yours

OMG WHAT IF HE HAD SHEEP AND MADE HIS OWN YARN THA’D BE SO CUUUUTE

Thomas makes his own yarn confirmed

I think he’d be really patient with crocheting, but he might get a little frustrated with smaller yarn and hooks cause his fingers are kinda big (yummy)

Awww no what if he made potholders for the kitchen, OH AND MAKES LUDA MAE GIFTS FOR HER BIRTHDAY NO CAP

One time, Hoyt said it was “wrong” and emasculating (not his words, he doesn’t know what that means) for Tommy to crochet, so Tommy crocheted a blanket with the phrase ‘fuck you’ on it and gave it to Hoyt for his birthday

Luda chuckled and told Hoyt he got what he got, Tommy was grinning under his mask, and Monty laughed and stole the blanket (and still uses it to this very day)

Ok I tried!!!! I loved this prompt so much, knitting and crocheting are so much fun and these are the three that I feel like would enjoy yarn crafts. I hope you like it!!  <333333

#slashers #slasher fucker #slasher x reader #slasher community #slasher fluff #slashers crochet #brahms heelshire #brahms heelshire fluff #brahms heelshire headcanons #brahms heelshire x reader #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair fluff #vincent sinclair x reader #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt fluff #thomas hewitt headcanons #thomas hewitt x reader #vincent sinclair headcanons

[sinnaminttoast]

Something bout this new audio seems ominous so I will give you my thoughts.

Do I have one clue about what’s gonna happen? No…

But the “Don’t Hang up” worries me 💀

So here we go.

Hell nah…Someone give this bitch an inhaler…AND GET THEM AWAY FROM ME! lol what if it’s a friend?

I’m not on your time, good sir. I should hang up just for that one.

WE DONT EVEN KNOW YOU???

Pack it up…it’s time to move countries y’all

OH YEAH?? What do you know 🙄

Honestly good for us. Hang up and it’s time to go stay at a friend’s house 🏃‍♀️

Istg…DONT ANSWER THAT PHONE

Fuck—

Oh yeah? Idgaf what you like.

STAY JUST TALKING???

OKay! Now you’re playing too much. Get away…😲 oh….oh can he see us???

Y’know what…maybe it’s time to just jump out the window.

Couldn’t we just mute him?

HEY! Since when do you get to talk about my damn problems? I don’t want to talk to YOUUUUU 😭

Oh Nooo I’m totally not stressed! It’s definitely not the creepy ass man 😭

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

He’s in the walls

STOP BANGING ON MY WALLSSS 😭

Ngl….I think I would’ve pissed myself from fear if this happened to me irl.

This bitch is scary and it’s time to call the police.

WOOP WOOP IT’S THE SOUND OF THE POLICE 🗣️🗣️🚨🚨

IMPOLITE???

Owe you something?! I am debt free good sir.

LAST YEAR?!

🕺💃You just want attention, you don't want my heart 🕺💃🕺💃

You know…I really don’t know about this one you guys. I didn’t think Regulus would have someone to compete with in terms of scariness but here we are…

You can help by turning yourself in to the police 😁🫶

Istg if this motherfucker breaks into my home…

AHHH STOP BREATHING IN MY EAR!!!

D…Do what….?

NO NO NOOO—-

Stranger watching us in bed:

That whole section creeped me out so bad. 😭

I’ll tell you that you’re weird asf! Hope that helps ❤️

Someone give this man an inhaler. He needs it badly.

Idk man. I’m planning on buying a plane ticket and LEAVING!

-

…..I have no words to explain the stress I just experienced.

This one very much gave me slasher/horror movie vibes. So I definitely like this audio in terms of how well Erik executed his voice acting and made this guy sound creepy.

The stalker guy makes me not want to leave my house.

This man is SICK!

I’m stressed….sighhhhh

To anyone who had fun and loved this audio. I’m happy for you 🫶 I’ll go check my front door and windows.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted thoughts #it’s time to go #call the police #immediately

[hollyhomburg]

LIII !!! THE NEW BILY CHAPTER WAS AMAZING OMGGGG AHHHH ALL THE HOBI CONTENT YOU ARE FEEDING US YESSSS !! The slow burn between hobi and mc is so good, I can’t wait until they actually get together together and say they love eachother to their faces hehehe

AND THE CLIFF HANGER??? OH MY GODD

AND TAEEEE MOMMY TAE CONTENT THAT WE ARE ALWAYS WANTING MORE OFF (the book gifts and tae reading to mc is the cutest thing ever! I love it!!) also! Cause I saw you saying that you weren’t sure about the titty scenes before I just wanna say that I honestly don’t think you gotta worry about it too much, after all the kinky stuff that is in BILY, I think it would be difficult for the audience to not be cool with it (at the very least) because like, it’s BILY bro, what else could you expect after all the previous scenes lol

Oh but the scene where hobo’s coworkers are trying to hit on mc and she turns on the ‘charm’ or whatever it was called was really interesting! I feel like it’s easy to forget that the mc would know how to do that stuff cause she’s so comfy with the pack so often now, but it’s sort of a bittersweet reminder of the stuff she had to learn to be able to do to like, survive I guess:(( It made me sad a little but also I was like, yeah girl you go play them cause you smart like that 💪💪💪 idk it was like cool the way you wrote it even though when you think about it :(( sad

Ahhh but towards the end tho! Where there was a line something like ‘jungkook didn’t even have a seizure this time’ in regards to namjoon’ rut!! I freaked a little and I have to mention it! Does that mean he’s had seizures during the alphas’ ruts before!? I can’t imagine how stressful that would be for the pack and poor jungkookie :(

I hope that whenever it happened, that he pack was able to take care of him and that whoever was in rut was gentle with him and able to give him space if he needed it or whatever. Cause you know, I doubt taking a knot after having a seizure would be very good AT ALL, if it was me, I’d reckon even having someone wanting me to take a knot afterwards would have me feeling shitty even if the pack was saying a clear cut no for me :( the way you write jungkook with his seizures is really comforting to me as someone with a chronic condition myself, because he’s such a strong bby despite it all ♥️

Anyway yikes this is getting really long haha, so I’ll draw it to a close! But I loved the chapter! It’s so fun seeing all the drama and plot pick up! And honestly, I’m starting to get a bit nervous thinking about what you have in store for us! Very exciting! Hope you aren’t feeling too stressed out with anything and are having fun, despite all the stuff that’s been going on recently that you’ve put on here, and anything you might’ve not put on here ♥️ thank you again for a wonderful chapter li! Have a good day ☺️☺️

Ahhhh thank you for appreciating the slow burn ;-; honestly when I look at the wordcount of bily I have to wonder if there is a slower burn in the fandom like, we’re nearly 700k into it and they haven’t even confessed yet! It’s probably a little too slow tbh

Ahhhh I think I got a little bit in my head about the mommy Tae sections, it just felt maybe a little too niche??? If it pleases the people who still read bily after all this time then I’m glad that I put it in <3 I also gotta remember as you said that the kink list in bily is EXTENSIVE as hell, the tummy bulge stuff was probably more extreme then this.

 Yeah if we’re being honest, I think the m/c has forgotten a bit too it’s a bit sad at times, but I think she’s really gotten so comfortable that she doesn’t need to use many of her old coping mechanisms or protective mechanisms anymore- this was probably one of them like you said.

Oh yeah Jk has definitely had seizures during their ruts before, especially at the beginning. Some of Jungkook’s seizures are milder than others. It is very stressful, and I think it probably even knocked Namjoon fully out of rut the first time it happened, it would have been a large part of their conversation in the beginning of their relationships.

For a while Jungkook would take sort of an ‘emergency’ seizure medication to make seizures less likely- he did this especially during the time Yoongi was away- but Namjoon and Jungkook’s doctors decided the side effects (Jungkook’s own cycle being delayed, nausea, dizziness) outweighed the benefits. You’re right in assuming that if jk has a seizure during a rut, he’s basically out of knotting duty for at least a day after- until his usual hornyness wins out and jk makes the choice to re-join. The pack leave it up to him because it is one of his boundaries that they don’t decide when he can start doing normal things after a seizure, as long as he’s not hurting himself.

 All of the alphas know that Jungkook stands a risk of seizing during a rut. Luckily, it’s not an often occurrence and he hasn’t had one of the seizures where he needs to go to the hospital after in a long long time (typically any seizure lasting longer than 5 minutes means he needs to go to the hospital or if he has more than two in a single day. Around 80-90% of Jungkook’s seizures are 1-2 minutes long.

Ahhhh thank you for the well wishes and for leaving such a dedicated ask! These are always so much fun to answer even if they take me a second longer to get too! I hope that you take care of yourself too!

[wildernessuntothemselves]

i feel so BETRAYED obv you didnt promise me anything…

BUT CMON PREGNANCY??? YALL DIDNT SEE THAT GIRL ON TIK TOK WITH HER 200+ REASONS TO NOT BE PREGNANT. SERIOUSLY.

(/j) BUT IM STILL VERY MUCH ANTI PREGNANCY

i also forgot i was alive for a hot min but I’m back and have things to say🤌🏻

sooo everyone wished for soft non-con and i get your point but 👀 nobody know the chemistry rough non-con can have … not in a romantic way but in the we get to know how FAR a character will go and how fucked up they truly are to hurt their love

maybe im trippin 🤥 but i was team rough non-con for this ch. although if the others want soft i cannot blame them

ill freak out reading it either way 💅🏻 #choppingoffgyusdick

and lord soobin??? okayyyyyy

us dressing like a whore??? GIRL- FUCKIN -BOSSING

and everyone talking abt loser lover ending???

i read that fic a bit ago and it fucking BROKE me, i think i read the whole thing abt 3 times (not within a week or anything) i just came back to it and it broke me EVERY time

i was sobbing the first time and staring blankly at my wall the second time… tryna process everything. like the things they did to each other and especially that last ch. where reader fucks gyu and streams it literally killed me

i was so disappointed in their behavior and so emotionally invested srsly it broke my heart when you described beomgyu curling into himself… or the way he didnt want any of it but did it still for reader all the comments of the viewers… like it was written so well it truly hurt me😭🤌🏻 AND I READ IT AGAIN???? LIKE DO I HATE MYSELF WHY???

or the fact reader has to leave soobin, or the time soobin noticed reader being more invested in gyu than in him :(((( it made me want to give soobin ALL THE ATTENTION he deserved

or that one time where reader was like saying how gyu is only her toy and should act like it and instead of being a brat gyu just allowed it like he was actually broken and did everything for her to keep him… or the way she described him like a dog or her pet on stream

GOD THE EMOTIONS, I READ IT A WHILE AGO BUT ITS STILL AAAAA IT STILL KILLS ME TO THINK ABT IT

ill probably be just as sad abt yamqn but your writing is hella good and idk being invested in the story and feeling the characters feelings is kinda the goal isnt it

im excited where we are going to go with yamqn but im also a bit scared ill cry my eyes out again😭😭😭🤌🏻

- ❄️

listen i'm the biggest pregnancy anti out there and i live in an arab country where marrying and having a child is considered an absolute must in life but i've already managed to beat down my parents into giving up on me ever having a child so i get it lmao but again if the pregnancy is important to the plot of a story i'm writing then that's what i'm gonna do lmao

offf i keep going back and forth on the noncon thing even after most everyone said they want it soft because i feel like there is a lot of emotion involved in that scene and gyu is hella stressed and upset and he might not have the capacity to be soft in that instance but at the same time he doesn't want to hurt her and he is in a sick way happy to have her ahhh it's so complicated

the way you're describing lover loser makes ME wanna read it again lmao i'm just addicted to broken gyu

and the ending for this fic will probably be just as heartwrenching as the lover lover ending 😭 but we love pain here

#you always get me pumped with your messages #i love hearing from you❤️ #and ugh the lover loser bit really made me happy #thanks babe #mort talks #❄️ anon

[cowgirlcherrie]

hi precious pretty girl! i’ve been well been taking care of myself and doing lots of self care! looking for concerts to go to.

but omg i have a lil work crush and it’s killing me. i work in the bakery and one of our cake decorators is so ahhh dreamy sigh she needs me on top of her she just doesn’t know it yet!! sadly it’ll never happen she’s married with kids but like her smile FUCK

also i had to text my ex the other day, i really didnt want to she was very abusive and awful to me :( but i needed her help w something and she delivered. she started like talking about other stuff after n like i feel like i gave her the wrong idea? our convo died out im just worried she wants to still be friends again but that can never happen

what shows do u like to watch?? i started girls on hbo a while ago SO GOOD it’s so girlpilled.

love u always mwah 🕷️

hiii angel baby !! i’m so glad you are taking care of yourself my sweet nonnie!! you 100% deserve all of the love you are restoring to yourself, that is important above all :)) oooo concerts !!! I wish I could give you advice but I have no clue who is touring rn!

WORK CRUSH OOO SPILL!!! **wait I kinda got distracted by you saying that you work at a bakery I love that so much!! would love to know about like your position in that do you decorate too? Us when we have a bake-off but your cakes turn out better than mine!! haha

the way I was so routing for you, about to crack my neck and give advice and then you said she is married NONNIE NOOOOO RUNNN!!! Damn… abort mission leave mama aloneee!! the way my heart shattered for you.

oh nonono i’m so sorry baby that you had to go through that for 1 and even communicate with her for 2. Would say if it’s possible can you block? definitely want to lock down on the boundaries so she gets the hint that the situation won’t be progressing.

idk what’s in the air but I’ve been having some haunting dreams about my not so good ex which is weird bc I moved on but its like ontop of life stress I can’t even find peace in my own dreams. Sleeping lowkey became a nightmare this summer!

hmmm good to question so I don’t really pick n choose I watch shows on a whim, but generation (hbo max) was such a good show until they discontinued it which makes me sad!! it was so underrated but recently I finished, the bear (hulu), BEEF (netflix),

currently watching: the summer I turned pretty and bloodhounds (netflix kdrama) two very good and different shows.

i’ve never watched girls but i’ll add it to my watchlist I googled it and it looks pretty good!!

but I love u so so so much take care 🕷️ nonnie and don’t be away for too long MWUAH

#cher 💌 answers #cher’s🕷️ 𓂃𓈒 ⊹ nonnie #ʚ☆ɞ cher’s babis and nonnies

[television-pil0t]

Historically crying because I feel like my bf genuinely thinks I don’t like him and thinks I hate him and is up late because he’s cheating on me and texting other people because he hates me and I’m genuinely not showing him enough love and idk what to do because I want him to know I love him but idk how to do it and now I’m worried he doesn’t even like and becoming more and more sure he’s cheating on me because a he’s been up so late every night and dosnt tell me “oh I’m just not sleepy” or that he’s doing something he’s just AHHH IM SO FREAKED OUT GOD I DONT WANNA BE CHEATED ON. What if I just end it so who ever it is he can have them. Idk. What If it’s that guy he drew choking him with the mask in! God I wanna kill myself holy shit what’s going on what’s happening it’s to much this is so stressful just tell me if your cheating on me or not! DO YOU LOVE ME YES OR NO! I need you to love me! Tell me if your only one.. what I’d when I’m at school and work he’s fucking some other guy… I’m gonna cry I hope he’s not god god god I can’t deal with this. I how do I make my bf believe I even love him?! I’m gonna throw up holy shit I’m so light headed. What I’d he talks about him on his private story… what if he’s in that group chat. What if he muted for like 30 minutes today so he could listen to his voice in audio message! WHAT IF THATS WHY HE DOSNT WANT TO FUCK ME ANYMORE!! OH GOD. Oh god I’m gonna throw up. I’m gonna pass out. I’m gonna die what’s happening.

[raplinesmoon]

wow how is it already the 21st of december? i’m plodding away on your gift but i don’t think i’ll have it to you before christmas day! i hope that’s ok haha. perhaps it can be like an extra little gift to brighten up that weird time between christmas and new years when all the other gifts have already been opened.

it was so much fun reading all your answers :) my sister literally named her first born my favourite name for a girl so i feel you man. to be fair, my niece is now three and i am nowhere near having children so like i get it! but still… haha

i love baking! i actually don’t like cooking at all but baking can be so fun and you end up with such yummy stuff :D you should totally pick it back up again. there’s always going to be someone better and someone worse. that doesn’t matter if you enjoy it :P (says me who can’t make myself do anything i’m not automatically good at on the first try lol)

i have a ‘hope right here’ sweatshirt and a ‘sweet night’ sweatshirt and i love them both so much - so cozy! i’m jealous of your everythinggoes one though, that sounds so cute!

how’s your secret santa gift going? working away? obviously you don’t have to tell me much for fear of giving away who you are writing for. are you able to share which idol you are writing for without giving it away? i’ll look forward to reading it :)

another question for good measure: what are you looking forward to in the new year? could be writing related or just life related…

- merry ❤️❤️

Hi Merry!!

Merry Christmas if you celebrate🎄❄️✨ sorry for answering this a few days late haha, I was enjoying some much needed rest!! The time in between Christmas and New Year’s is so awkward you’re right… it feels like saying goodbye to the holidays but then there’s another one on New Year’s 🙃

How were your Christmas celebrations? Did you do anything special with family?

Ahhh that’s so cute that you and your sister had the same little argument over baby names… I think my sister won though, and I probably need to start looking for other options if and whenever I do have kids!!

Also, after you sent this, I did actually make some treats! They were mostly no bake desserts for one of my coworkers who’s leaving in the New Year. And while I did almost cry because it didn’t turn out perfect, I reminded myself that not everything has to be for me to enjoy myself 💗

I so badly want a hope right here shirt!! Or idk if you’ve seen them but the hope world sneakers from Sugar Seoul are so 🔥🔥🔥 half the time I’m scared people will judge me for wearing them in public, but other times I think they’d think they’re super cool too!

My secret Santa gift is still in the planning stages, I tend to impulsively write things out when the pressure’s on, so we’ll see how it comes out! I want it to be nice and fluffy though, so hopefully my muse cooperates (if you check my master list you’ll know who I love to write for 😅)

As far as New Year’s wishes, I just really want to spend the next year happy and healthy!! 2022 was so up and down for me in terms of finishing dental school but also the mental stress of what it took to finish and then starting a new program and my physical health kind of took a nosedive too! I’d like to be able to do more in 2023 without limitations from my body… so here’s to health!!

#asks #bangtansecretsanta #merry 🎄

[moidse]

I fucking forget how to do read more but fuck it.

Ponderosa

Okay so, fuck this dream got me so fucked up. It’s crazy cuz earlier in the night I had a dream where a girl liked me and it was a short moment but I really liked it and she was okay and I remember half waking up like ugh I liked that dream/moment. Then boom I have an even better one like thanks Brain but also like it’s so sad how once I’m waking up and realizing she was only just a dream how my Brain is like NoOooOoOo!! Ugh and then I feel annoyed to have to wake up next to Kaiya when I’m my dream I’m hanging out with someone else and I’m having all this sexual tension and ughh.

I just keep thinking to myself how I miss having crushes, I miss flirting, I miss asking someone new on dates, I kiss the rush of dating someone new, I miss the sexual tension which is something that never happened in this relationship ugh… idk that dream was so vivid and real feeling I was gagged when I realized I was waking up and it wasn’t real.

I was at a Halloween party with her and some other queer ppl. She was this pretty girl with brown straight hair past her shoulders. Her outfit was cute and her face of makeup was cute and snatched and she had this prop thing she was holding. She hit on me pretty early in the night and I swerved. Idk why she gave me ick at first. But throughout the night as we hung out I started crushing back and… idk it’s just been soooo long where I’m hanging out with ppl and am having this intimate sexual tension with one person and it’s like we are having a different party then the group we are with but they don’t know.

Let’s just say by the end of the night I was in and wanted to go on a date with her. When I went back to my place ,, ***** was like gone for the day and I was just contemplating what to do or say to them. I was also contemplating doing things with ponderosa and what that might feel like. Ommggnjdkdk fuck

Why did just writing that give me a chill.

Ugh.

A thought I also keep getting for a few months well for maybe years … is just like I really want a girlfriend :/ like ahhh I miss being able to feel boobs, I want a gf who can moan and cum and is femme and dominate and wants me as her man and fuck.. idk I’m realizing that part of my last relationship at the beginning… that was what I loved about the dynamic that I never had before and it felt so so so validating. I’m fucked cuz this girl in my dreams was this— she was what I’ve been thinking in the back of my head that I’m craving and want soooo bad. I want a femme gf and I feel jealous of everyone around me who gets that. I’m feel so jealous and envious of everyone around me who is dating someone I deem as a hottie. I’m jealous of everyone around me that is seeming having a sexually satisfying relationship.

Fuck. The thing that gets me the most is the sexual tension. Like, it makes me want to die when I think about how that was just something that got skipped in our relationship. It never happened— it happened in my head over the summer before they said they didn’t wanna fuck me then all of the sexual tension left and then I just was stressed about making sure they felt comfortable. God this is so embarrassing but I remember like the last time I saw ***** before they moved away and the sexual tension I felt just sitting across from them on their back patio thing. Ugh it was so intense I remember they were wearing a crop top and i was soooo turned on just from sitting across from them it was so intense and insane and it’s like I don’t feel a blip of that with them. It almost makes me mad to feel those feelings and remember that they are missing. But that’s what this dream did. It reminded me of the list and sexual tension I haven’t felt — the excitement. I miss it and then the next part of the dream is me contemplating what to do from here cuz I’m in a long term relationship.

[bunny-rambles]

ahhh i'm glad to hear that your wrist is not in a serious condition ;; get well soon then!! <3

anyways the genshin boyfriend thingie was just me rambling to my friends one night :'' they all agreed on me putting diluc and thoma first spot, but when i mentioned childe should have been on the podium everyone started complaining lmao

i do agree childe might be an annoying brat but what can i say he looks like a fun boyfriend (also! he can cook! and he can especially cook borscht which i absolutely adore. we could cook together eheh i'm so weak to men who are capable to cook - and maybe that's why kazuha was so high on the list too :'')

(also childe is hot HOT but what can i say i have a weak spot for tall and lanky boys with messy hair)

i'll wait for your friendship request then :) today it was funny because i tried to get all the chests i was missing from the domains in the archipelago and it took me hours because i couldn't find anything :' but hey!! i got c6 heizou!! i count that as a win i might still keep pulling because i want both ningguang and thoma cons tho idk

anyways pt 2 here it's raining SO MUCH so i'm glad i'm home watching summer wars instead of being out like my neighbours are :' no nightly walk for me tonight but at least i'm all dry

a scara piece eh? looking forward to that!! haven't written about scara since i made a genshin impact as characters on a dating show thread to make a friend laugh, but anyways i still love hearing and reading and talking about my baby lol

with this i'll wish you good night! ti voglio bene bunny, sogni d'oro <3

- 🍓

As I’m typing this, the bruise has cleared up and it feels like it’s a lot, lot better :) it’s just a little sensitive

Thoma is peak husband material, no one surpasses him for me, he’s the whole package. Diluc would be a close second but Thoma is the top spot :))

Childe,,, as much as I love him, he would be so annoying for me. Always seeing everything as a challenge with myself being a competitive person too? Yeah that’s going to end in a lot of arguments. However, I agree, he is also quality husband material.

He definitely wants a big family, and I’m sure he’d cook and clean around the house to keep his spouse happy and stress free, he’d also be great with your kids or pets, he’s also a full package. (And I agree;;; he’s very hot OTL) but his work with the fatui and how shady he can be kind of takes away some points for me. I’m kind of the same with Kaeya, I love him to death but he’s a shady mf, being secretive kind of takes points off.

C6 Heizou yesssss !! Congratulations, I’m so happy for you :,)

It’s been raining here too, but it doesn’t feel as if it’s cooled down that much. It’s not unbearably hot but it is still pretty warm here. I hope you enjoy the weather while it lasts, hopefully it’ll make you feel cosy when you curl up under a blanket while you’re listening to the outside. Peak napping material.

I hope you enjoy it whenever it comes out, I’ve not started writing it as of yet but I’m brainstorming about it.

Ti voglio bene <3

#bun speaks #🍓 anon

[lilgynt]

yes yes.... yes....

#personal #all my hannibal prints are in i’m so excited ahhh!!!! #but now i’m gonna get them laminated at my old work maybe this weekend? #i usually end up getting my posters and stuff laminated idk i’m just paranoid and genuinely don’t want anything to happen to them #but there’s always just the smallest smallest stretch of stress when it’s like a glossy paper when laminating #so far it’s been fine but knock on wood for me or you fucking hate me #not excited to get roasted by my old coworkers but that’s better than the silent judgment of other places ✋🙄 #ohhhh n i probably should finish painting that one screen shot poster i got #last christmas i got to print out two posters for free so i got one ggs christmas gifts and then #the other poster i didn’t know what to print for myself so i got the screen shot of like #will shooting garret jacob hobbs but it’s just his hands and gun and hannibal blurred in the background #bc it’s a screen shot going to poster it’s kinda pixelated so i’m gonna just paint over it #which means i need my desk which mean i need to finish that lego set... #also audrey got me a girlboss hannibal keychain it’s SOOO good and i might end up buying more hannibal keychains #i was always so shy like you want me to show hannibal in public other than my pins? ur insna e #but it’s sooooooo good

[bilgisticallykosher]

Not going to tag every side, even if they were technically all mentioned but. I'm. Very screaming still.

Pre-episode. Squealing, so much squealing. Remus. I'm just. Remus, but intense. Remus 💚 Anyway, I see Thomas looking horrified- OH ARE WE GETTING TO THE DREAM THING? Are we dealing with The Thing from DWIT??? Aaaaa. Also, Logan? I thought it was supposed to be Virgil. Hm.

Okay, let's- hnnnnnng content warning I happy flapped. Frick I keep squealing, the green smoke and the bear trap in the A of asides. Omg omg omg.  FORBIDDEN FRUIT! Is it two am or pm? Gasp! NICO! No Nico, don't jk the date, please. I'm begging you, I can't. (Edit: legendsgates told the server that it was Thomas who texted Nico, not vice versa.) Oh no, he slept through the text notif? Oh no. Logan! Oh, it's two pm. I mean, I figured because of sunlight, but. FFFF 69TH! *snicker* Thomas smirked, too.  

Ooh, daily schedule. Degree a couple degrees! Five am Thomas is a bastard. Logan is… very whelmed by all the Thomases. Oh boy, this schedule is… not going well. Snort. Don't mention it. You don't have the time. Did he schedule time for scheduling? That's a lot of alarms. 

ARM!!!! Oh is that a bear trap? Oh. Yup. Whoops, that's- oh. Nope. He's fine. Old?? Aging? NICO IN REAL LIFE OMFG AAAAH! HE HAS A FACE!!! Oh. Aging. Hm. Okay, so he bear trap was less physical, more like Remus is trapping Thomas's thoughts. Neat! Also I have to take a break right, now I cannot handle the dramatic music and his face omfg. Aaaaaaaah. Okay I'm good maybe. Oh! That's the face from the thumbnail, nice. Green light in his hair looks nice. 

Aw, Logan is concerned about him. He's a good boy. And yikes that's a lot of um. Filth. Is that a nail? "Muck" is- Remus, points for effort, but no, dear. I mean, only if you say it outloud, backwards. K-Cum. Okay, you know what? I'll allow it. 

Remus. Rearranging his sentence is less intimidating than you think. I think he's putting back(?) Caressing? A book of Broadway… something. "You couldn't turn anything on, if you tried." WOW, WAY TO BE WRONG, LOGAN. I mean. You know. Uh. I'm just holding this attraction for a friend, it's not mine-

Thomas looks resigned. Hmm. Shiny green notebook, nice. Does that say "call updog?" Mmm. Yep. Yep it did. Lot of Updog on there, on the other hand, Remus's handwriting is gorgeous, wow. Dinner with Updog (can't cancel that again) I may have injured myself laughing at some point. 

This. This is that point. Oh my gosh. Who. So freaking close. The freaking tension! Did they censor damn? Yeah, sounds it. FFFFF LOGAN. Janus and Logan wine moms confirmed. Oh my gosh. He just freaking rips the cork out with his teeth. Chug. There's, like so much tension in this episode. Predicting that the screw is him "screwing" with his mind? Yep, nothing. Hmm. What if I choke. Is that Remus's influence? Or Virgil's? "I'd be screwed" Ha! Oh, wow, Logan! Look how much you're putting Thomas's mental health first! Wonder what was on Remus's second list…

Okay what's going on with the roomba. Ayyyy, Intrusive Thoughts! He's so good in this, Logan. WHAT KIND OF RUBE GOLDBERG GARBAGE- oh, garbage disposal, wow this was well set-up oh my gosh, the drawing attention to the garbage disposal, the book he placed there. Never stack your knives on top of anything, guys! 

The little 'yes!' Oh. Oh. Um. Okay. Wow. "I don't care about the knife, but the soap!" You guys, no, this can't be canon help. Oh he's cleaning! Ohhhhh, eyepatch. Love it. This feels very reminiscent of Dealing With Anxiety way back when. But with more Remus! Oh no he got his string caught in his weiner.

Bratwurst, whatever. I bet that was not originally in the script. I.e., accident. Hey, Kingdom Hearts! I know he is. Thomas, Logan, or Virgil? The chords before "He said you're wanting to be more honest"!!!!! 

Cue freakout. Yeah, it's Virgil. Man if Remus keeps setting these things up, he's like a genius, the physics involved, geez. Oh. Well, listen, not all experiments work the first time. Oh nope. There it- nope. Hmm. Pink panther-esque? Um, sir that's glowing. Sir, that's a keyblade. Oh, Nico again. Coffee, he says, after guzzling wine. Puzzle? Cognitive distortions!!! "It was a stab" Virgil!!! Logan's such a good boy, oh my gosh, I can't. Yeah. Sounds pink panther. I beg your pardon??? Whomst? Love the 'ooh~' in there. Haha, just stops at Logan. Oh, he's trying to get to Logan- ffffff, Remus, oh my gosh. Okay, why are there text alerts but no new texts? Remus, did you wear his shirt while getting stabbed? Rude. Ha! Got an ad for Anxiety/stress, that's funny. Aw, ketchup. Logan how can you be so wrong? Ha! Solenium lycopersicum again. "Yes. You. Am." Help I love him so much. Nico napkin? It's not me, right? He's not contacting him? (Edit: It was me. 😔) Okay, so the thoughts are being very tied up into anxiety, with like being alone, but he's also obviously scared to take a step towards relationship? Maybe??? Man, Remus is so good at these things. Okay, also stress about someone being in his house? Just high stress in general, I gu- !!!!!!!!! Oh hi. 

No, Remus, your puppet is being mean- oh, no, that's the, he's just stabby. Mutual stabby? You have no idea how hard I'm looking at his eyeshadow right now.!!!! MUSIC??? Song? Oh, okay, cool. Ahhh, what your momma gave ya. Remus, omfg he's so pouty at lack of stabbing. It's not lost on me that the lighting is purple. WOW, Logan. Willing to see his merit. Squeak squeak flick. He's not pretending he doesn't- yeah. Oh tongue lollipop. What was in his ear??? That he ate???

Manicure on severed hand. Ignoring dummies for dummies. Aw, does Nico have a carrot next to his name? WOAH WHAT!!!! Holy crap, fandom was right-

WAIT ARE HIS EYES ORANGE NO WAIT NO. 

THEY ARE! 

No, I wasn't ready for this theory to be right! Idk if…… rage/anger/wrath is orange through Logan or if that's a Logan thing or if he's turning into orange, gosh, I,,, really hope not. Nico calling! Ohhhhh, Remus likes that. 

Ahhh, Nico. Aww they're cute. Wait, is Logan supposed to be angry at Thomas? Oh. I really liked Procrastination as orange, and. Hmmmmmm. Oh man. We got some. Good, yet heartbreaking Logan there. 

Oh my gosh. I'm like. Almost shaking. Oh my gosh. I like. Don't know what to think. Love that totally real phone convo, though with Hello Fresh. Aaaa, what even do I think?! I'm so concerned! On multiple levels! But aw, Nico. I'm reeling. That angry Logan changed everything. Squints that seems lot a lot of paprika. Nico date! Patton!!! Roman!!! Virgil!!! Aw, Logan. Rome didn't fall in a day. "He's giving him permission," WAIT HE'S ANGRY ABOUT THAT TOO??? Okay, Logan's calming down, being okay. OH NO OH NO OH NO THAT WAS HELLA COOL WITH JANUS BUT THE EYES!!!! Crap, orange is anger. Damnit. Chills.

ALSO I had a belated realization at about Janus being in the tree and freaked out about it all day so expect something on that soon.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #logan sanders #character!thomas #nico flores #new video reaction #ts spoilers

[promise-of-a-lifetime]

hiiii my friends ! egg here, long time no talk ;W; my blog has been barren for so long ahhh i really gotta change that, i needa reblog things again and post art ahahaha but thank you to everyone who still follows me despite my inactivity !! 3.8k followers wowwowow thank you so much qwq this post is getting really long as i’m typing out all my thoughts so i’ll put this under a read more for anyone who is curious enough to hear me ramble ahahaha

i’ve been busy actually ! i went back to college this fall. surprising huh ?? after 5 years of just working, i finally made the decision to go back to school (partly bc i’m sick of this job and burnt out and want something new) i got into a program for a diploma in comp studies and now that i’m nearing the end of the first semester---i’m going to change my program into an associate of arts instead ;W; and my plan is to transfer to uni for a bachelor’s (if i choose to do so if i get my associate’s) i wanted to try comp sci solely bc of the job market and the pay. i know ppl say you shouldn’t get into something just for the money but it’s hard not to, you know? it’s tempting, especially bc where i live it’s so crazy expensive, and i wanted to try my hand at it. i currently live in an apartment with my sis rent free provided by my parents so i’m extremely fortunate and in a good place, but i can’t help but feel guilt. i want to make enough money to make an actual living so that i don’t have to keep depending on them and make them work so hard. this also prompted me to go back to school !  but i think i found out that comp sci is not for me. i do not like to code at all (python is okay but js is hell lol) i only like doing html/css styling ; w ; maybe i can try web development later down the line but algorithmic programing is not for me...what truly makes me happy is drawing and writing. it’s what i’ve done my entire life as hobbies but lately i’ve been so busy with school + work, it takes so much out of me, that i have to pick one, if i want to draw or write to relax. i think i mentioned my art burn out and stress in one of my last posts so i’ve chosen to write each time and i’ve neglected my art for so long now ;ww; i really want to get back into it...i miss it so much. so this is why i think the arts field is where i should be, i think i’d be a lot happier doing this. of course i worry about the future and career aspects...can i get a good job out of this? my cycle of thinking is very vicious, i can’t help but think about how my art isn’t good enough, that there are so many better artists out there on tumblr/tw so why would anyone ever hire me for art when they can pick those ppl instead ?? i really need to get out of my head and just---DO IT instead of all this pointless worrying. how will i know if i never try ?? if it doesn’t work out in the end, at least i tried right ?? but i won’t even know that if i don’t allow myself to start in the first place...i’m always crushing my own chance and opportunity with this way of thinking and it needs to stop TwT i really do so much thinking that i get into a crisis every now and then (as you can tell from some of my posts on the blog ahahaha) but i also think about all the sweet and supportive compliments on my art i’ve gotten from you guys and from my friends/family...it really makes me go ‘can i actually do it?’ my sister and my friend told me i should try to make my own stickers/merch and have my own store and honestly...i’ve been thinking about doing that for years but i’ve never had the courage to try. i fear failure so much. i fear being inadequate and irrelevant in comparison to other artists. my friend said that i shouldn’t worry about that bc there will be people who like my art because people like different art styles, the more the merrier---just like that artist cake meme ahahaha but i still...idk...stop myself from even trying anyways. why do i do that? once again, i should just draw whatever i want and stop caring about what other ppl think !! there’s bound to be someone out there that will enjoy my art qwq time and time again i’ve received such kind anons telling me that ! ;WW; so i’m putting my foot down and i’m really going to try changing my mindset and stop inhibiting myself.  first step: change my college program next step: get myself an ipad then: draw draw draw !! remember it doesn’t have to be a complete drawing, just sketches and doodles will be fine (maybe do commissions...? my sis aND MOM said i should do them, that my art is good enough, and do custom cards so maybe...? ahh but i’ve never ever been commissioned before, ive had friends ask to commission me in the past but those always fell through...so i’m unsure...but we’ll see) so this is where i’m at right now ;W; thank you to everyone who’s read this far ! i’m so sorry for always worrying about the same things wlejnfwlej it’s hardd but i want to be happy doing something i like 

we’ll see what happens in my next life update !! hopefully by then you’ll see much much more art from me~

#Egg talks #...way too much aHAHAHA