#after on and off contract/part time work since 2020

[andisupreme]

I moved recently to start a new job and part of my commute now involves one of those high capacity toll booths where a two lane road suddenly flares out into 5-7 lanes of total anarchy with no lines anywhere, and then narrows back down to two lanes again, and we're just supposed to sort ourselves out? Who designed this

anyway I dreamed up this helpful anatomical guide on the drive home

#thought of flipping it upside down for it to read correctly but then it didn't feel like the driver pov #oh also yeah aside from generally pulling back from online spaces for the most part I've started a FAST-PACED full-time job #after on and off contract/part time work since 2020 #I am WIPED #all the time #exhausted #I'm told I will adjust and I am trusting these people but holy shit I'm capital B Bushed #you will not see me frequently anymore but do not mourn for me #I am adjusting to my new fish tank... #I will be thriving #by the time I turn 30 next year I will be able to hit my 30s at a run #I'm feeling it mr krabs

[lectern-fullcauldron]

things I really appreciate about hermitcraft:

I love that the hermits clubbed together to buy tfc a new pc and monitor in 2020, with a massive screen aimed at combatting his migraines and motion sickness

I love that cubfan has Joe Hills twitch emotes as part of his collection. Joe won't sign a twitch contract and can't have his own emotes, so cub just made some for his subscribers to play with on Joe's streams

I love that Keralis keeps sending computer mice and other gear to the other hermits whenever they mention computer problems (because when you own a hardware company, why wouldn't you be your friends' sugar daddy)

I love that Joe has mentioned that grian will resource gather for other hermits off camera in his free time, just because he can

I love that when iskall talked about his hermitcraft downtime, he said that none of the others tried to force him to make a video, they all just popped in and out, offering his various projects they were working on to see if he wanted to join in

I love that the hermits always have lots of advice for each other - whether it be parenting advice for doc, or just in having worked with mumbo since he was 17 and in sixth form college, of talking about tfc's wisdom (and sometimes we even get to learn about tango's washing machine and international taxes)

I love that hermits will take on infrastructure projects, like netherhubs and railways and roads and enderfarms

I love hermits helping hermits

I love stream weekends

I love that some hermits are dedicated enough to neglect their own bases and spend weeks helping out a friend - particularly Cleo, moving into stress' season six castle and Scarland and more to build diorama after diorama.

I love the dedication that the hermits have, and I appreciate how hard they worked for the king arc, the crossover, and the charity stream.

I love the strength of the community when a charity stream comes around.

I love that hermits will rush across the server or panic log in when someone needs help - killing doc's escaped withers, collecting gear, clearing lava after a tactical log out, turning off farms

I love that they offer each other building advice and redstone help (even if it is just scar and iskall being judgy about block choice)

I love scar's first reaction to ever seeing grian in person was 'you're drowning in fans at this convention, I wish I could help you, but we don't know each other yet'

I love Hypno and Joe singing karaoke at minecon in 2012

I love that they do make a wish hermitcraft guests and hermits who can help will be there

I love shared farms and shared resources, and a hermit flying in unprompted to drop off a shulker of that thing you mentioned you needed for no charge

I love hermitcraft as a community

#good to reblog #hermitcraft

[iberiancadre]

Blaming job precarity on labour protections, thay is some real neoliberal shit for a post tagged "real marxist hours". Are you sure there aren't any other causes? Like, I don't know, the recessions and crashes of 2008/2012/2014/2020, tolerance of employers who hire and pay under the table, insufficient protections for people affected by the practice (especially non-EU workers), relative disregard for unions in labour law negotiations, inequalities in infrastructure distribution and so on? None of those things are essential parts of social democracy, they're the consequences of right-wing attacks on it, and Spain's specific failures at social democracy are not universal nor a reflection of the system in general.

And the issue of colonial and post-colonial exploitation wasn't addressed sufficiently in marx's very works either, or under any application of socialism in a country already high-up in the hierarchy of imperialism (remember when a certain socialist country became one of the largest fossil fuel producers by drilling oil on indigenous land, effectively turning most of "its" territory into a settler colonial regime servicing the state oil industry? Talk about funding public expenses through imperialism!)

All of what you're saying sounds great and would be valid if they weren't objectively false. I don't think you're usamerican (the target audience of the post you're replying to) but you sure sound like one. If you aren't, we'll I'm sorry but you're just ignorant:

btw this is in relation to this post in case anyone wants to read it

"Blaming job precarity on labor protections sounds like neoliberalism" If by protecting labor you mean legalizing and protecting a type of work that allows workers to spend most of the year effectively unemployed, unable to claim unemployment because they're technically employed, and also prevents them from getting a second job because they are at the mercy of their first employer's needs? Then yeah, I am blaming labor protections for job precarity. This is one especially egregious example of what the socdems in this country have done, and it's funny you mention neolibs because this new law allowing "fixed discontinuous" work is a direct continuation of the 2012 labor reform done by neoliberals. I am blaming a precarious form of work which already has millions of contracts under it for precarious work.

I'll remind you also that marxists/communists are not just the people to the left of socdems or progressives or how you may call it. We reject the very system all those other ideologies operate within, therefore any criticism aimed towards social-democracy isn't comparable to neoliberalism because it's levied from a completely different framework.

"The recessions of 2008/2012/2014/2020 are a cause of precarious work and a consequences of right-wing attacks" it's funny you mention 4 crisis because it leads very well into the point about recessions. Capitalism, because of the anarchic nature of its production and focus on maximizing profit, has cyclical recessions regardless of who is managing capitalism at the moment. Recessions in capitalism have occurred since capitalism first took form, because of mechanisms like overproduction (capital tends to produce too much, inflating stockpiles and eventually necessitating a sudden drop in prices) and the falling rate of profit:

The rate of profit is the total portion of value that capitalists as a class are able to extract from the working class after paying off their costs. Because of reasons too complex to explain here (but you can look at graphs and verify that it always tends to fall), the rate of profit tends to fall and diminish. The only times it ever increases is because of destruction of capital and/or productive forces, such as during a war, or because of superprofits enabled by imperialism. This rate of profit has been getting smaller and smaller, it temporarily rises after recessions and it also means capitalism will either destroy itself or destroy the human race in an effort to raise it. The rate of profit is not applicable to individual companies or even sectors, it is a capitalist class wide trend.

Going back to the point of recessions, they aren't the sole reason for precarious work. they certainly worsen it, but the point of the post is that social-democracy not only does not alleviate this particular problem, but they are also fully capable of worsening it. They are doing this in Spain and in other countries too.

"Tolerance of employers who pay under the table is a cause of precarious work and a consequence of right-wing attacks" First of all, this wasn't the kind of precarious work I was talking about in the post innit?. Apart from that, who do you think is tolerating extralegal work. Is the right-wing forcing social-democrat governments across the world to tolerate this? Of course not. Work that isn't regulated by a contract is useful to the bourgeoisie because it keeps a portion of the working class in a limbo between unemployment and employment, allowing the reserve army of labor to not shrink while also exploiting a part of this reserve army and generally lowering costs. Social-democracy tolerates this because it is just one manager of capitalism, and they fundamentally serve the class interests of the infrastructure because they are part of the superstructure. This is true regardless of how much they like to talk like pro-worker communists and how much welfare they instate.

"Insufficient protection for people under irregular work contracts or no contracts, especially inmigrants, is a cause of precarious work and a consequence of right-wing attacks" This is also not the kind of precarious work I was talking about in the post. Regardless, the reason for this is similar to the one I explained above, it is convenient of capitalism to have workers halfway between employment and unemployment, and social-democracy protects capitalism. It's really insidious of you to bring up non-european workers and their exploitation while defending social-democracy, since the various European progressive and left-of-center governments have all contributed one way or another to NATO's interventions in SWANA and West Africa, the very places these inmigrant workers come from, escaping the violence these governments have caused, sponsored and benefitted from. I've already addressed who benefits from the cheap labor these inmigrants and refugees produce.

"Disregard of unions in labor law negotiations is a cause of precarious work and a consequence of right-wing attacks" Oh boy have I talked about unions on this blog. In short, unions are not the magic wand which makes exploitation disappear that so many people on this website and app seem to think they are. Their only function is to achieve temporary better working conditions while staying within the bounds of capitalism and salary work. This is also a point that's really funny to make while talking about the social-democrat precarious labor reforms because they signed it with the full approval of every big labor union in Spain. Another aspect of unions that I addressed in the linked post is that they also serve as the lapdogs of social-democracy. Something that happens in every single country where social-democrats are in power including the usamerican leftist's crush, the nordic countries.

Socialism-communism isn't when UBI, good wages and beating the capitalists at their own game. It's the complete overthrow of a bourgeois system to replace it with a proletariat system, it is rejecting the workings of the game at which social-democrats and labor unions pretend to try to win.

"Inequalities in infrastructure distribution is a cause of precarious work and a consequence of right-wing attacks" I'm not exactly sure if by infrastructure you're referring to like, roads and railways, or infrastructure in the sense of the avenues through which the state provides welfare, subsidies, etc. Either way, the inequality in the distribution of things like communication networks, utilities and state programs is one of the many contradictions inseparable from capitalism. I thought the point of "inequality is inherent to capitalism" was like, leftism 101. Is anon aware that social-democracy is still capitalism? Universal healthcare and government programs are not going to solve the unavoidable effects of the capitalist mode of production. That's what revolutionary marxism is for.

"So many more things are a cause for precarious work and a consequence of right-wing attacks" I can't answer if you don't give me more concrete examples, sadly. But I hope it's become clear to the reader why social-democracy is not the way to solve all of this issues, and why it is actually interested in keeping it around.

"None of those things are essential to social-democracy, and Spain's particular case isn't reflective of social-democracy in general" If I were a lesser man I'd say you sound like what "tankies" sound like to anti-communists when we address the mistakes and failings of proletariat states. But I don't think this would be a good answer to you, and I get the point you're making. Social-democracy is one variant of government in bourgeois democracies.

For this point to make sense to you, anon, (im really trying to be patient here, if I come across as condescending it's not intentional) you have to first understand that marxists believe, noht without reason, that the primary character of any state is the economic system that it protects. In our case, this system, the infrastructure, is capitalism, so the state and any party that governs it (part of the superstructure) will keep protecting capitalism because that is what's in its class interests. Individual people are able to go against class interests, but individual actions are close to irrelevant when we talk about the infrastructure.

It's not that every aspect discussed is essential to social-democracy, it's that social-democracy is essential to capitalism, which in turn ensures the existence of these problems. You're putting the cart before the horse.

With that denser part out of the way, regarding Spain's case. The post you're replying to wasn't meant to be an exhaustive treaty on the class character of social-democracy. It's a rant complaining about seeing usamericans championing the very fucking same talking points and policies that I see every single day fail. I know that social-democracy across various countries is different when it comes to these particular cases. But their class character is the same and their function within imperialist capitalism is the same.

To the second part of the ask now.

"The issue of colonialism wasn't very discussed in Marx's works" Yeah I know. Maybe you're under the impression that marxists are blind followers of Marx, I understand. But if you ask any actual marxist or communist, they'll acknowledge that Marx and Engels lacked in a lot of places (especially Engels in anthropology, he was very racist and uninformed in that regard). Which is why we also recommend people read other works such as Lenin's, which as far as I'm aware popularized the term of imperialism as a descriptor for capitalism, and the concept of dividing capitalism into stages, so many pseudo-communists like to say. There is also a myriad of work about imperialist capitalism written by colonialized people, such as Frantz Fanon or Eduardo Galeano. These are the places where marxist theory is most developed regarding colonialism, and it's where the idea of social-democracies in imperial core countries benefitting from imperialism in every instance comes from.

As a side note on marxism, the reason it's called that is not because we treat every work of Marx like holy texts, but because the analytical framework that his works establish and develop is the basis for any analysis and criticism of class conflict and revolutionary communism. We do not blindly follow what he says, we take his works (or any marxist work for that matter), instead, we analyze, critique and explore the ideas presented.

"The USSR was imperialist" (this is basically what anon is saying in the last portion of the ask) Imperialism is a specific stage in the development of capitalism, characterized by the export and tendency to monopoly of capital. It is a concrete economic descriptor that is useful to a specific timeframe in history. It is not, however, when a big country does something in a small country and expands. This definition, while simpler and more useful to the liberal status-quo, is functionally useless to define a state when it can be applied to the Greek colonization of the Mediterranean in the 6th century BC, the trading kingdoms of South East Asia, the Roman state before Caesar and the prinicipate, the germanic tribes that moved into souther Europe, the mongol state (and later states) that stretched from the sea of Japan to Hungary and from the arctic circle to Persia, the Incas and Aztecs, the HRE, the Iriquois confederacy (I'm not that sure on this one, but I'm including it because they were quite big and that's what qualifies as an empire to some people), the various rich kingdoms of west Africa, the modern USA and a long etcetera.

The more popular definition of imperialism, the one that somehow tries to coherently categorize all of the examples above and more under the same word, essentially boils down to territorial expansion. It should be called expanisonism, not imperialism. So if you're using that definition, and it looks like it, then yeah, the USSR was expanisonist. Extending the proletariat state against bourgeois states is good, actually.

I don't know what you think settler-colonialism is, but extracting fossil fuels definitely isn't it. Also, the oil and gas was extracted by the corresponding republics within the USSR. Many smaller republics, such as Turkmenistan, could specialize in fossil fuel extraction because the USSR guaranteed that the goods they didn't produce would reach them regardless. This is one of the reason the capitalist shock therapy posg-1991 forced onto the ex-soviet republics was so catastrophic, their production was organized under the assumption that they wouldn't need to sell off half their country to access basic consumer goods from a capitalist market.

Goddamn was that a long post to type on a phone. If anyone, including anon, replies to this with a low effort insult or to what they think I said instead of what was written on the post, I'm going to block you without exception. you've all been warned

#real marxist hours #you better fucking read this anon

[cringetownusa]

The Warner Tax Rant.

Being “So far below the poverty line, they’re off the graph”, doesn’t seem to be a statement only true in the movie after all. This is almost 1k words. Sit tight.

OG RANT DATE: 3/22/2023 We know the Warners pay taxes. We know they pay income tax from the “We pay tons of income tax” line from the 90s intro. Tons is subjective, but we also know based on many instances of the Warners gaining some sort of monetary wealth(even to be immediately taken away) that money is something they care about(1). There’s been jokes(2) about how little they’re paid by the studio, one of which from a cut song about tiny things where the smallest thing of all was their paychecks. We know in the comics they also just. Don't have money to treat themselves to nice outings and so they have a separate thing they call “The Cute Fund”(3) where the Warners allow people to pay to pinch their cheeks, and they use that money for things like trips. Not only are the Warners like wicked underpaid and taken advantage of for being children, but since they were originally from the 30s, when they were released from the tower for the 90’s show they didn't know what the base wage was at the time. 

So even with all their fame in the 90s (on the level that would make it a cultural phenomenon, eg: clothes, games, theme park partnerships, school supplies) they were not fairly compensated for it.

But even with them being such a household name, if they had to talk over their own contracts, they were likely tricked into thinking they were getting a better wage just by holding it up to what they were paid for their very few paychecks for their 30s films, even if they’re smart kids, they’re just kids, and between desperation and relief of being released, their judgement may have been clouded on their own contracts. They were probably also just thankful to be getting the opportunity to get them at all because it meant that they would get time outside the tower for the first time in 60 years Anyway these thoughts brought me to thinking about Yakko having to calculate their paychecks and do taxes every year since they have an income.

But based on how little the three of them make together and how expensive California is, i assume tax season is pretty stressful for poor Yakko.

In the 90s when there wasn't a ton of tech going around it meant he'd have to do all their taxes by hand with a calculator and a bunch of notes and i am thinking of this poor boy pouring over then at like 12 in the morning after Wakko and dot have gone to bed under the guise of practicing his lines.

For assistance programs that exist for humans that the warners making so little money might qualify for, e.g. food stamps, would they even be approved?

Maybe toons get rejected for that since "they don't need to eat" regardless of toons like wakko who are designed differently to eat more and always be hungry and also hypoglycemic(4). (5)So in the 30s, minimum wage was .25 an hour, which translates to a little over $4 an hour now

In 1990, the minimum was was 4.75 ($9.19 as of 2024)

HOWEVER

We can assume toon labor laws would be different since they didn't even have the right to vote until 2020 bc of Dot, and the way animals are paid for their “acting” in 2020s.

So for the sake of this exercise in taxing we’ll assume that they were convinced being paid $1 an hour for each of them was a really REALLY good deal because it was 4x the wage in the 30s.(during the great depression)

This next part was calculated with help from my friend allowing me to use his California pay stub. Thank you Mickael. <3

Toons are probably paid less because they "have less necessities" and get rigorously overworked because their bodies “don't work like humans”. If we assume that they've been tricked in this way and calculate this off a 4 week paycheck, while also saying that they're pulling 40-60 hour work weeks due to overwork, with no overtime pay, that puts their GROSS pay for a MONTH at around ($480 for 40 hours) ($720 for 60 hours). 

Taking out California and Federal withholding, and healthcare on through the studio all together at around 12%, net take home would be ($422.40 at 40 hours) ($633.60 at 60) Now let’s assume the Warners get the tower as free room and board. That includes rent, electricity and running water ONLY, so we still have to calculate their wifi and phone bills (since we know for a fact that it’s relevant in the reboot. For the state of California, I used Mint unlimited at $60 a month since all three of them have phones. ($64.35 after tax) Internet needing to be somewhere around 100mbps for all their device’s wifi in the Burbank area, the least expensive option with wiggle room for Wakko(the Gamer) would be Starry Internet ($32.18 after tax). Yakko would be able to get a (LIFE) LA Metro tap card for low income, which would also give him a certain amount of free bus rides per month,after that each metro ride is $1.75 one way, and each bus ride is $1 one way. Let’s give all three Warners together a Budget of $50. This leaves them at ($275.87 for 40 hours of work) ($487.07 at 60) Much, if not all remainder would go to food or clothes depending on your headcanons for that. It’s no wonder they can’t afford expensive picture frames! ---

I'm sure there was more stuff I could have linked back to like the amounts and how I got them, and if people want more info they're welcome to dm me, but I've been impatiently wanting to share my thoughts lol.

Back in march of last year, I first spoke to my friend @help-the-lesbian in DM's about the warner's monetary situation. As I made more friends, I roped more of them into listening to me and now it's kind of an in-joke, but I just like thinking about Yakko getting stressed out about taxes and doing them because he cares about his siblings and he needs to take care of their family.

1[Animaniacs "Temporary Insanity" 1993] 2[Rob Paulson, “Animaniacs in Concert”, 2023] 3[Animaniacs Comic #2, 1995] 4[Wakko Warner Wiki] 5[Department of Industrial Relations, state of California] 6[California state tax is x1.0725]

#animaniacs #yakko warner #txt #animaniacs analysis

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I find it so interesting that with in the twist universe, the boys write things out in English and not Japanese. For instance, the Valentines Day cards having been written in English as well as the contract in the Octavinelle commercial. It feels very deliberate. As if to indicate that they are foreign and don't necessarily speak the same language, but the writers also want us to still understand what's being written so they write it in English. Idk I just think it's a neat way of depicting this without having to go full Tolkien.

Mmm, that's definitely an interesting topic 🤔 Most fantasy media doesn't go out of its way to invent entirely new languages for its use (I only know of Devil is a Part Timer! doing it). It's actually difficult to come up with an entirely new language; you don't just come up with substitutions for words, but also new meaningful symbols, pronunciations, grammar and syntax which governs how the and sounds, words can be arranged, and social rules for the language's use. It's just easier to use a preexisting language and then to come up with some excuse for why we can understand them (typically because of magic doing the translating for us, or plain old suspension of disbelief). In the case of TWST, I think there's a number of reasons why they decided to utilize English for its writing system:

Firstly! The main setting for the game, Night Raven College, is modelled after a British boarding school and England's education system in general. With such English roots, it only "makes sense" for the characters to also write in English. If we consider that Yana herself is involved with TWST, "English" is also an aesthetic that is very suited to her skillset, especially considering her other very popular work, Black Butler. (She really was a perfect pick for the job, huh?) Secondly! If TWST's intention always was to go international someday (which it has), English is a safe bet to go since it's considered a "global" or "universal" language. Not everyone knows it of course, but it's the closest thing we have to a "common" tongue, as the most people in the world speak it! Thirdly (and this is the big one)! In Japan, TWST's country of origin, English is seen as (for lack of a better term) "aesthetic" and even as a status symbol. One 2020 poll found that less than 30% of the Japanese population speak English at any level, and 2-8% speak English fluently. In other words, most Japanese people would not understand the level of English being used in TWST, from Azul's contracts to the wording on the Great Seven statues and more. (You can sort of get a grasp for how few Japanese people are fluent in English from the Valentine's Day Gifts, which are all written in English; it's the one time of year when Japanese fans behave like EN fans and ask around for translations of the cards rather than the other way around for generalized TWST content.) Now, continuing off the point I made about English being seen as a status symbol... It's typically the highly educated and/or the privileged of Japan that learn English to a fluent degree. Considering that NRC is seen as an elite institution, the fact that its students can fully articulate (ie use full sentences in complex ways) in English only adds to that feeling of "being elite" (at least for the Japanese audience). English also has the effect of making the world of TWST come across as more "foreign" and helps to simulate the "other-worldliness" of the TWST characters in general (again, because of how rare fluent English is in Japan). The effect is somewhat lost in TWST EN, as most things are in English and the material is presented to predominantly English-speaking audiences in the USA and Canada, although I guess you could make the argument that the spoken dialogue staying in Japanese makes up for that lost feeling of the writing seeming foreign.

So!! There's actually many different reasons (or perhaps a combination of all of these, or unintended side-effects of one of them) as to why the general writing system in TWST is English rather than Japanese.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst en #twisted wonderland en #disney twisted wonderland #notes from the writing raven #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Devil is a Part Timer

[zzoguri]

[part one] of boundaries and secret glances (i'm lucky to be loved by you) ➵ kim sunwoo

idol!kim sunwoo x ex-idol!reader

as a well-respected independent producer in the industry, you get requests from different companies for collaborations. when you accept to work on chanhee and sunwoo's unit track for their upcoming album, you are left to your own devices as you work closely with sunwoo. who is to say what can happen over the days?

genre/warnings ➵ strangers to friends to lovers (though sunwoo has always had a crush on you since your debut), music and lyrics au, fluff, angst with happy ending, afab reader (they/them pronouns), drinking, kpop mistreatment, mental and physical abuse done by companies, close proximity, sunwoo is a FLIRT!!! and also obsessed with you, LOONA IS FREE HERE!!!, iz*one sadly does not exist </3, boundaries are definitely crossed in the sense that you should not be flirting this much with a co-worker turned friend...

word count ➵ 15.7k words (30.3k words in total)

parts ➵ [1] [2]

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet

a/n ➵ this work has been in the making for a year or two. oftentimes, i find it hard to finish works or put them out since i find myself getting scared of how my works will be received. after reading this for how many times and adding final revisions, i am happy that i get to share this baby to the world! this fic is because of how much i love the movie "music and lyrics" and how i kind of fantasized myself and sunwoo in a similar context. thank you again for taking the time to read this. please note that idols shown or talked about in this fic are not meant to reflect my real thoughts on them. i love all the idols here in this fic (especially jiyoon) i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

1CON: Where Are They Now? By Lee Hyejin of Soompi 

It has been two years since South Korea's beloved group disbanded. Formed back in 2017 through Produce 101, 1CON has swept the hearts of many from pre-debut until disbandment. Yesterday, the members posted pictures on their SNS accounts that show their little reunion. This then sparked “1CON REUNION” to trend on Twitter.

To this day, many fans hope to see a reunion concert take place to see the members come together once again. As the public waits, we wonder where the members have gone off to.

The beloved center Shin Ryujin (Rank 1) and well-known dancer Lee Chaeryeong (Rank 9) of JYP Entertainment are part of the newest girl group ITZY whose unique sound has found its way to capture the hearts of many. As the group continues to conquer the K-Pop scene with their talents, they have become the pride and joy of JYP Entertainment.

Power vocalist Jo Yuri (Rank 2) parted ways with Off The Record Entertainment and worked on her solo debut under WAKEONE with the track “GLASSY.” With the number of music show wins gained, Jo will be one of the 4th Gen's well-known vocalists.

Captivating dancer Jeon Heejin (Rank 3) and charismatic vocalist Kim “Chuu” Jiwoo (Rank 5) made their debut back in 2020 with LOONA under Blockberry Creative. However, the members of the group have ended their contracts with the company because of the mistreatment they received.

Now, Jeon is a member of ARTMS with some of the former members of LOONA—Kim “Kim Lip” Jungeun, Jeong “Jinsoul” Jinsol, and Choi “Choerry” Yerim—under Modhaus. Chuu chose to pursue her solo endeavors under ATRP.

One of K-Pop's best 4th Gen vocalists, Kim Minjeong (Rank 4) of SM Entertainment, is rumored to make her debut in a girl group later in the year. While we can say not much at the moment, SM Entertainment has got everyone excited for their upcoming debut.

Jack of all trades, Shin Jiyoon (Rank 6) of Play M Entertainment, debuted back in 2020 with the group Weeekly. The group's upbeat and catchy music is produced by Shin herself. As Weeekly brings back cute concepts to the K-Pop scene, many people expect that “girl crush” will not be the norm.

Formerly under JYP Entertainment, well-known producer Y/N (Rank 7) is not signed with any company. As they work on their own terms and team, they have been releasing music on different platforms with full artistic freedom. Despite having no company, countless entertainment companies continuously contact them. They have worked with IU, Red Velvet, BIBI, Jamie Park, Pentagon, and more.

Lovable and powerful rapper Choi Yena (Rank 8) of Yuehua Entertainment recently made her debut with “SMILEY (Feat. BIBI)” whose catchy tune has trended all over Twitter. Many fans have commented that the concept is fitting for her debut. As she continues with her promotions, many fans wait to see her thrive in her solo career.

Along with that, opera-trained singer Huh Yunjin (Rank 10) of HYBE Entertainment is rumored to debut in the upcoming girl group with Produce 101 participants Kim Chaewon and Miyawaki Sakura. However, Huh has been actively posting original music and covers on different streaming platforms. As she continues to keep fans impressed with her talents, many people anticipate the debut of HYBE’s newest girl group.

Memorable vocalist Song Yuqi (Rank 11) of Cube Entertainment is part of (G)I-DLE who continues to release comebacks that showcase the uniqueness of the members. With tracks that will have you dancing and singing along, (G)I-DLE continues to showcase a different side to 4th Gen girl groups.

There have only been speculations and rumors surrounding a reunion concert for 1CON. All that can be said for now is that the members are in close contact with each other and working hard to continue dominating the K-Pop industry in their own ways.

“Y/N, you’ve got emails from H1ghr Music, AOMG, and THE L1VE. What would you like me to do with the other emails you’ve received from other companies?” Park Soeun, your manager, asks as she barges into your home office with her eyes trained on her iPad.

As she looks up, she takes in the sight; messy papers laid out on the table; knickknacks and souvenirs from 1CON members scattered all over the floor; you in your most devilish state whose hair is all over the place with clothes from yesterday. 

“God, Y/N. What in the world happened here?” Soeun asks as she picks up all the gifts from your ex-peers.

“It’s been so long since the girls and I got together, so we got kinda crazy last night.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t explain the mess in your office. Jesus… Y/N, I never knew your office could get even messier and more… disorganized,” She continues as she settles on placing all the gifts from 1CON on an empty shelf. “I didn’t even know you would end up going to that reunion.”

You sigh as you continue to click away on your computer, ignoring her last comment.

“Drunk me decided they wanted to work despite being intoxicated,” You mention as you continue to loop a specific segment in the instrumental you’ve been working on all night.

“You haven’t slept?!” She exclaims, attempting to gather and pile up the papers scattered all over your desk. When you let out a hum, she sighs as you continue to immerse yourself in your work.

“Y/N, I think we need to talk.”

“About?”

“This.” As you finally look away from your monitor, you see Soeun with her arms crossed as she hugs her iPad.

“Oh god, don’t tell me what I think it is.”

“I’m serious. We need to talk about what’s going to happen to us,” Soeun demands as she finally takes a seat in front of you. Before you could protest, she continued.

“Y/N, you’ve been doing this for a year, and I’ve stuck with you the whole time. From pre-debut, disbandment, and even until deciding to leave JYP, I stayed with you because I wanted to support you.”

Ultimately, you knew it was hard for Soeun to leave her job at JYP Entertainment to support you. Giving up her stable job to follow you has become one of your biggest burdens to carry to this day.

As she sees the frown on your face, she continues. “I didn’t leave because of an impulse decision. In fact, I left because I knew that working at JYP isn’t what I want at the end of everything. Y/N, I don’t know if you know this but you don’t give yourself enough credit for all the things you’ve gone through and accomplished.”

“I think that’s an overstatement. I don’t think I’ve–”

“You have accomplished a lot of things. You debuted with 1CON, made the difficult decision of leaving a well-known company to pursue your dreams with full creative freedom, and produced music for artists that continue to dominate the charts.”

Silence settles between you two as you try to take in her words. You love the compliments and praise you receive, but sometimes you feel it is never enough. This leads you to overexert yourself; the need to constantly achieve as if it is your only purpose in life.

“You need to give yourself more credit, which also means recognizing that you deserve more.” You knew where this conversation was going, and you didn’t want to hear her continue.

“Soeun, please don’t–”

“I’m sorry Y/N, but you need to at least hear me out. I really think you need to sign with a company.”

With that, you close your eyes as you take in her words. It hurts enough to see people on the Internet constantly discuss the success you could have gained if you were signed with a company, but it pains you physically to hear the same words from someone who knew you inside and out.

“I know your experiences with JYP and Stone Music Entertainment are some that you wish to forget, and I will never forget nor can I ever excuse the amount of mistreatment you faced under those two. However, I do think you can find yourself signed with another company, possibly a better one that knows how to treat you right,” Soeun says.

You finally open your eyes and nod, giving her the signal that she could continue. “It’s hard for both you and me to keep up with the demand. Although we have Taeyeon to help with styling and Sungyoon for photos and music videos, we only have such little manpower to keep up. You could be earning more, maybe relaxing more if you get signed with a company.”

With that, you let out a sigh. “Where is this coming from? Is it because of the number of emails I’ve left unanswered?”

Soeun shakes her head and says, “It’s not really that. Of course, I’ve had to deal with this when I still worked in JYP, but it isn’t the main reason I’m having this talk with you.”

“I’m going to be putting in my two-week notice.” You knew this day would come; she is resigning.

“I applied for jobs at different companies and I got an email back.”

“Congrats Soeun, you deserve it,” You say with a half-hearted smile.

You mean it, but it hurt to know that Soeun would not be with you as you continue your journey. She became a permanent presence in your life, and you could never imagine life without her in it.

Before you could allow yourself to be vulnerable, you decided to ask, “So, which company? I’m excited to hear who’s lucky to have Kim Soeun.” She lets out a laugh.

“I got signed with Cre.ker Entertainment. They had an opening for another managerial position,” She says as you nod.

“That’s the company of The Boyz, right?” She lets out an ‘mhm’ as you continue to nod once again.

“Y/N, you do have an email from that company, if you haven’t realized,” Soeun points out.

As you decide to finally open your email, several unread and unanswered emails greet you. Typing the word “Cre.ker,” you find the email Soeun mentioned. Two weeks ago, you received an email from them to which you have not gotten around to replying or reading.

— — —

FROM: Cre.ker Entertainment <[email protected]>

TO: Y/N <y/[email protected]>

SUBJECT: THE BOYZ’s SUB-UNIT “NEWSUN” TRACK

Good day, Y/N!

Cre.ker Entertainment is reaching out to you in hopes you will accept our request to produce a track for The Boyz’s upcoming album.

The sub-unit “NEWSUN” (which comprises New and Sunwoo) has requested that you produce their track on the upcoming album. If you wish to accept the offer, please let us know no later than two weeks.

We look forward to hearing from you and working with you.

— — —

“Huh, this is funny. I only have until today to reply,” You mention which Soeun chuckles at.

“I mentioned that you got an email from them about a week ago. You said you would get back to them, but clearly, you haven’t.”

“Yeah well, I shouldn’t be trusted with emails,” You reply to which she rolls her eyes. “Figures.”

“Anyway, going back to what we were discussing. You deserve more—a lot more, actually.” She grabs your hand. “I am not saying that I invalidate your experiences nor can I say that this type of mistreatment is not a general thing found with K-Pop companies, but I believe you can sign with a company that will understand what you want.” You think over what she says but never give a reply.

“I just want you to know that I appreciate working and supporting you for… god knows how long. I’ll be sending my formal resignation to your email. Please read it,” She begs which has you laughing.

“Yeah yeah, I will.” She smiles and stands up from her seat.

“Y/N, think over what I said.” She sucks in a breath. “You deserve more, and I want you to be secured in your career as you continue your journey in the industry. I’m not saying you should audition for Cre.ker Entertainment, but I’m saying to look into companies you’re interested to be under. I’ll just be in the room beside you.”

As she leaves your office, you are left with your thoughts and nothing more. In these moments, you miss being with 1CON the most.

It is 4:07 AM, and you are still seated in your home office. In fact, it’s your only office as you cannot afford to rent a separate place for work. You have finally finished the track for Jung Wheein’s album and sent it over to THE L1VE through email. 

As you think back to Soeun’s words, you decide to open up the email from Cre.ker Entertainment. Reading it once more, you decide to search for The Boyz on YouTube. You know of them and some of their tracks, but you decided that was not enough.

Searching up the words “NEW & SUNWOO” on YouTube, you find a video of theirs that covers “Nerdy Love,” a song you adore from an artist you highly respect. You decide to click the video and watch what the two boys had to offer.

Despite thinking you did not know enough, you knew who was who thanks to Jiwoo, your ex-peer. She is friends with New (or Chanhee) as they would be special MCs for music shows. After all the time they spent joking around behind the scenes, Jiwoo adores him and thinks of him as one of her closest friends now.

You remember how she described him to you two days ago. “Chanhee is the nicest guy I’ve ever met, and I trust him with almost everything. I hope you get to meet him one day! He’s a huge fan of your work,” She told you at the 1CON reunion two days ago.

However, you have no idea who Sunwoo is. All you know is that Heejin is sort of friends with him but they do not spend a lot of time with each other due to schedule conflicts. The most they ever interact with each other is whenever they play video games with other people their age. If you could recall, all Heejin had to say was that he was nice, and that is as much as you can remember.

Yet, you could not deny that you found him pleasing to look at. Maybe it is his hair, smile, or even the aura he gives off, but your eyes found themselves focusing on him. In the way he performs, you can see how much he enjoys performing.

Throughout your time in the industry, you have seen many artists work in their craft. Many idols share the unfortunate fate of working with peers they despise while others are not given the liberty to work on the tracks they put out. However, only some can say they enjoy what they do—only some can confidently say they love what they do. Sunwoo and Chanhee look like they fit in the latter.

Seeing the two boys vibe and perform one of your favorite songs was such a delight. In fact, you ended up looping the video as you continued to enjoy their cover. You also did not want to admit to having it just play in the background as you continued to finally go through your emails. Knowing Soeun, she would be happy to hear that you finally replied to the many companies reaching out to you.

Despite knowing what to say to which company, there is one company you did not know how to respond to. As you see the same email you read a while ago from Cre.ker Entertainment, you let out a sigh. The more you thought about it, the more you realized it could possibly help out Soeun get used to Cre.ker Entertainment.

As someone who does not want to let her go, you should have denied the company stealing her away from you. If anything, you felt as if you needed to resent Cre.ker Entertainment. Yet, you knew that Soeun resigning did not mean she would be gone forever. After everything, she is your best friend who stuck with you through thick and thin. You only want what is best for her—that is what makes her happy.

With that, you knew your answer.

“God if I knew Play M Entertainment and Cre.ker Entertainment were going to merge to form IST, I would have said no,” You say as you look up at the building in front of you.

“Sorry Y/N, I thought you knew! I think you should at least hear them out and if you can’t do it, you can just–”

“No, it’s fine. I can do this. I mean, it’s not like I will see her, you know?” You say as you take a deep breath.

With that, you enter the building with Soeun. As she walks to the front desk to talk to the woman about your appointment, you decide to take in your surroundings. The building is just like any other company; it reminds you of your trainee days. Despite being inside different company buildings to produce for artists, you can never stop being reminded of what happened to you then.

Before you could think about it anymore, Soeun loops her arm with yours. “C’mon, let’s go,” She says with a smile.

She always knew how to take care of you. With that, you two walk together to the elevator and try to make your way to the meeting room.

“I know you’re nervous about bumping into–”

“Please don’t say her name! What if someone catches on?” You exclaim which she nods at.

“Yeah, you’re right. Please don’t think about it too much because I don’t want you to be stressed about that and this meeting.”

“I’ll try. God, why did they have to merge?” You practically ask the universe as you and Soeun stand right in front of a door.

“No time to complain, you’ve got this. I hope you know I’m proud of you for still pushing through with this.”

“Soeun, you only told me that they merged when we were in the car. I almost grabbed that steering wheel.”

“Either way, just hear them out. I heard from my friends that Chanhee and Sunwoo are big fans of your work.”

With that, you sigh. “Fine. Just know I took this job because I wanted to see where you work.”

“I also know you did it because you wanted me to adjust already. I hope you know that I love you,” She says with a smile.

She then opens the door to see The Boyz’s manager, Sunwoo, and Chanhee seated. The three stand up from their seats to greet and bow at the two of you.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you all! I’m Soeun, Y/N’s manager, and I’ll be here to assist,” Soeun says as you two enter, bowing at the three. Once you and Soeun take a seat, you notice that you are seated right in front of Sunwoo.

Seeing him in the video was hard but seeing him right in front of you was even harder. As soon as he flashed a smile, you immediately looked away and hoped you were not red. If Soeun found out you were reacting this way about someone, she would never let you live it down (which is why you hope she would never notice).

“Hello, I’m Jihoon. Before anything, I think I should let them introduce themselves. They’ve been waiting for this moment to finally meet you,” Their manager says, which has both Chanhee and Sunwoo flustered.

“Ah, you didn’t have to mention that! But hello, I’m Chanhee! It’s nice to finally meet you. Jiwoo mentioned that she talked to you about me,” Chanhee greets you with a bow to which you smile.

“And I’m Sunwoo. Both Chanhee and I really enjoy your work, and we look forward to working with you,” Sunwoo follows right after with a bow.

“Ah, thank you so much. I look forward to working with you as well,” You manage to say without your voice cracking. You were flustered, and you were pretty sure it was showing with how red your cheeks were. God, you knew Soeun was going to make fun of you later.

“Alright, I guess we can start.”

The meeting was a success. Soeun handled most of it but you managed to chime in every now and then and understand what they needed from you.

“What was it with you a while ago?” Soeun asked when you two finally reached your place.

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I know how you act when you find someone attractive. Is it Sunwoo? I won’t judge you.” You choose not to answer her as you go to the kitchen. “So it is!”

“I didn’t even answer!” You exclaim as you look through the fridge.

“I get it though, he is very attractive.”

“Soeun, you’re so annoying. Please stop,” You whine as you decide to grab some water.

“Well, good luck to you! You have to meet with them two days from now. You have only a week from your first meeting with him to submit the final track. Yes, final track, okay? Please remember that,” Soeun says as she notes it on her iPad.

“God, I don’t know why I agreed. That’s barely enough time to produce something satisfactory, let alone a good final track.” Soeun pats your shoulder as she continues to look down at her iPad.

“Don’t forget, you were the one who said yes when I tried to negotiate.” You let out a groan and take a seat.

“I mean if you said yes because you wanted to spend more time with Sunwoo–”

“Please stop. I don’t want to cross any boundaries of our strictly work relationship” You practically beg, to which she laughs.

“You’ve got this! Let me know if you need me to negotiate with Jihoon again. Just keep me updated on whatever ends up happening between you two,” She says with a smile as she walks away.

“Soeun, nothing is going to happen!” You exclaim which only makes her let out another laugh.

“You never know!”

It has been two days since that meeting, and you regret agreeing to the set deadline. It feels as if you have not gotten any wink of sleep in the last 48 hours as the stress and anxiety got to you. As you entered the building with a cup of coffee in your hand, you informed the woman at the front desk that you were expected to attend another meeting with Sunwoo and Chanhee.

“Please make yourself comfortable and wait here. I’ll just ring up their manager–”

“They’re with me!” You hear someone shout from behind you. As you turn to look, you see Sunwoo walking towards you and greeting you with a bow which you return.

“It’s nice to see you again,” He says, making you smile.

“I’ll bring them up, just inform hyung.” Sunwoo signals you to follow him as he makes his way to the elevator.

“So, how are you? I’m guessing you managed to think of something within the two days?” He asks as you two wait for the elevator to arrive.

You laugh as you shake your head. “I wish.”

“Did you get any sleep?” You shake your head in response which he laughs at.

“Well, if you pass out, I’ll be there to cover for you,” He says only for you to get shy.

“Oh god, you don’t–”

“I was just kidding Y/N, sorry if it wasn’t obvious.” The elevator doors finally open and you both get in.

“Oh, that’s my bad,” You say as you let out a nervous laugh.

“Hey, it’s no problem.”

The elevator doors finally close and you two go up. As silence engulfs you two, you somehow think it is your fault.

“I, uhm, tend to be very shy around new people. I’m not usually like this,” You say to break the silence.

He looks at you with a smile and nods. “No worries, Chanhee and Heejin said the same.”

You were surprised to find out that he’s talked about you to others. As you continued to look straightforward, you would only hope that Heejin or Jiwoo did not mention anything embarrassing to the two.

“I never got to ask, but how are you?” You decided to finally ask him.

“Oh, well it’s been alright?” He says in an unsure manner which has you raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well, the guys and I have been practicing the choreography for our comeback, and I’ve been kind of nervous about how Chanhee and I’s track is going to turn out. Not that I’m trying to say I don’t trust you, but I am nervous about how well I’m going to execute your vision,” He admits.

“If it helps, I think whatever you do will perfectly execute what I see.” You smile at him to which he smiles back.

“Oh, so you trust me that much? How much have you seen my performances to say that?” He asks as he faces you and leans against the wall, a smug look on his face. Something about how he keeps the conversation going makes you less shy than before.

“Well, I had to do my research,” You admit with a smirk.

“Oh, the famous Y/N has done their research on me? What do you know about me?” He asks to which you decide to face him as well. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

He chuckles as soon as the elevator doors open. “Well don’t think I didn’t research you,” He says and walks out with you following.

You two eventually arrive at one of the recording studios with no Chanhee to be found.

“Oh, where’s Chanhee?” You ask as you look around the recording studio.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that Chanhee wouldn’t be sitting in for a lot of the production process because he has a bunch of other schedules to attend to. I hope you don’t mind spending this time with me,” Sunwoo says with a smile as he takes a seat on the couch.

“Oh, I see,” You say as you stay rooted in place.

“If you’re uncomfor–”

“No no, it’s okay. As I said, I’m just shy,” You cut him off and muster the biggest and most awkward smile.

Before you could apologize for your behavior, Sunwoo lets out a giggle. “Y/N, I get it, but you don’t have to be awkward around me.”

His words of reassurance allow you to breathe just for a little. There is something about Sunwoo that makes you both nervous yet comfortable. You did not know how, but that only made you want to know more about him.

You decide to take a seat on the office chair in front of the mixing console and spin it to face Sunwoo. “Alright, I think we should go through what you and Chanhee want from the track. I know Jihoon discussed it in the meeting but I would like to hear it from you,” You say as you set down your cup of coffee on the coffee table.

“Well, Chanhee and I really want an R&B track for this album. Think of, I don’t know, “Nerdy Love” if you know that track,” Sunwoo explains which makes you smile.

“Yeah, I do know that. It’s one of my favorites.” And with that, Sunwoo smirks.

“I’m guessing you’ve listened to our cover if you did research on us.”

You choose to not answer and grab your notebook and pen as you try to suppress a smile. “Ah, not answering means ‘yes’, by the way.”

“No, it doesn’t!” You scoff.

“It’s just a simple question, Y/N. Why won’t you answer it?” The stupid smile on his face has your heart doing little flips.

“There would be no fun in just answering. You’ll find out soon enough,” You say as you open your notebook to a clean page only for him to chuckle.

“Can you expound a bit more on what the main message of the song is?” You inquire as you write down some points.

“It’s a love song.” That has you scrunching your nose which Sunwoo notices.

“Hey, what’s the problem with that?!” He exclaims which makes you laugh.

“There’s no problem.”

“That expression you made a while ago didn’t say that.”

 “Just don’t pay attention to my facial expressions! I won’t react, just continue,” You say as you look up from the notebook.

“It’s hard to not look at you,” He says as he tilts his head to the side with that stupid smile you have grown to both love and hate within that small period of time. You were flustered, and you did not know how to respond.

“Yeah, it’s a love song with a twist,” Sunwoo says as he tries to get back on topic (to which you are thankful for). “Picture this, Y/N.”

“I’m listening.”

“No no, close your eyes.” He urges you to do so in which you furrow your eyebrows. “What the fuck, I am not doing that.”

“Oh come on! It’ll immerse you in what Chanhee and I envisioned.”

“Sunwoo, I think you can explain it and I’ll follow through with what you’re saying.”

Sunwoo pouts at your answer as he crosses his arms. “I wouldn’t want to inform Heejin but…”

“Is that a threat?” You gasp when he simply looks around the room.

With that, you sigh and close your eyes. “Go on, I won’t keep my eyes closed forever,” You say and you hear him clap.

“Alright! Imagine this; you’ve known someone for a while, okay? And let’s say this person is someone you’ve been flirting with. You know, the push and pull, playful flirting, all the things you would do for something that started off as casual. Are you imagining it?”

“Yes Sunwoo, I am,” You sigh, which he laughs at.

“Okay. With time, you start to realize that you might actually like this person.”

“Woah, shocker.”

“C’mon Y/N, let me finish!” You laugh and decide to shut up. “Go on.”

“So, you’re on the brink of falling for them but you don’t want to admit anything. But plot twist: they seem to also be falling for you! And there comes a night where the two of you are chilling, but you two don’t want to drink for the reason that you two might confess under the influence.” As you listened to him, you got to envision what he was saying.

“You know, being with someone you like surrounded by alcohol is a dangerous combination,” You say as you finally open your eyes.

“Exactly! It’s the risk that makes it all scary because you don’t want to come off as ingenuine,” He continues to explain which has you nodding along and taking notes.

“Hm, I get it now. I dig it.” That has Sunwoo standing up from the couch with his arms spread out.

“I told you so! Chanhee and I know what are good love songs, not saying I hate love songs but clearly someone in this room does,” He says as he continues to look around, avoiding your gaze.

“I don’t hate love songs! I never said that, so stop putting words into my mouth,” You try to defend yourself as you roll your eyes. Sunwoo takes a seat again as he furrows his eyebrows at you.

“Y/N, I researched you too. There’s no need to lie.”

You let out a sigh. “Fine, I do.”

“And why so?” Sunwoo decides to ask which has you grabbing your cup of coffee to take a sip.

“Ask me later after we make some progress and I’ll answer,” You say which has Sunwoo rolling his eyes, a little smile playing on his lips.

It’s been three hours since you and Sunwoo decided to work, and there has been little to no success.

“God, why did I agree to that deadline?” You mutter to yourself as you shut your eyes with your hands over them in frustration. Sunwoo heard you as he was writing and crossing out lyrics for the track.

“Hey Y/N, why don’t we grab some lunch first?” You open your eyes and look behind you to see Sunwoo up from his seat.

“We haven’t made any progress.”

“Yeah, but you of all people should know that creativity and productivity don’t come with an empty stomach,” He tries to reason out as he walks to you and sets his hands on your chair.

As you look back at the computer in front of you, you see nothing on GarageBand. During times like these, you knew you had to get out of the studio. Whenever you hit a wall, the only solution was to find inspiration outside.

“Alright, let’s get some lunch,” You give in as you close the program and get up from your seat. “Where to?”

“I know a place for us to eat.”

Once the two of you exit the building, you follow Sunwoo as he leads you to where you two will be eating.

“So, why hate love songs?” He decides to ask which has you chuckling.

“I thought we agreed on asking once we’ve made progress, and clearly we haven’t.”

“Oh come on, we need to talk and get to know each other so that we can eventually get over the hurdle,” Sunwoo says which has you sighing.

“Fine. It’s just, I don’t know, cliché? It gets so repetitive that it gets so boring and typical.”

“Ah, you’re one of those people.” That has you letting out a gasp and looking right at him.

“What do you mean by that?!”

He only giggles as he continues to look straight forward. “C’mon Y/N, don’t look at me and look at where you’re going. You might trip.”

“As if–” Before you could finish, you trip and almost fall. It seemed like the universe was out to get you because Sunwoo was right. You were about to brace yourself for the impact, but a pair of arms grabbed your waist before you could fall.

“Oh my god, Y/N! I told you so!” Sunwoo exclaims as he lets go of you.

You wish you could say something but you were too embarrassed about Sunwoo wrapping his arms around you to save you from falling. As the two of you stood there, facing each other, you were about to apologize.

“Uh, sorry, I–”

“Just be careful next time, okay?” Sunwoo says as he rubs your head, messing up your hair. Before you could say anything, he grabs your hand and starts to walk with you following.

Usually, you would get mad if someone messed up your hair but there was something about Sunwoo that made you crave his touch. You hated how you were reacting this way over this guy. As the two of you held hands while you walked to the restaurant, you swear your heart almost burst out of your chest.

The two of you quickly arrived at the restaurant that Sunwoo wanted to bring you to; it was a small Japanese restaurant. As the two of you entered, the bells by the door seemed to chime which grabbed the servers’ attention. “Irasshaimase!”

A lady dressed in a red kimono walked to the two of you with a big smile. “Ah, Sunwoo! How are you?”

“I’m okay! I’ve been working really hard for our upcoming comeback,” Sunwoo replies with a grin that seems to warm both the lady’s and your hearts.

“Oh, you come with a guest! Hello! You are–oh my god, you’re a member of 1CON, right?” The lady asks you, showing the same smile she gave to Sunwoo.

“Ah yes, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” You say as you bow.

“Just a table for two, please.” With that, the lady nods and brings you two to a table located in a small room for privacy. As the two of you get seated, the lady hands you two menus to browse.

“By the way, I’m Hikaru, your server for today. Y/N, Sunwoo frequents here with the other members, so you can always ask him for recommendations,” She tells you which makes you smile. “I will.”

“Sunwoo, I didn’t know you were going out with an ex-member of 1CON! They’re one of Korea’s sweethearts,” Hikaru says, which has you freezing from reading the items on the menu. You knew your cheeks were red, so it surprised you when you decided to look up and see Sunwoo’s cheeks painted red as well.

“Ah, it’s not like that. We’re just colleagues,” He tries to explain which Hikaru understands.

“Oh, I see! I didn’t know. You two would make a good pair though,” She says as she leaves the room which has you both frozen in your seats.

Sunwoo lets out an awkward chuckle and decides to avoid your gaze. “So, what do you like to eat? This place is known for their sushi but they do have really good katsudon.”

“Yeah, sushi works for me.” Once Sunwoo ordered a bunch of sushi platters, the two of you were left in awkward silence.

“So, what do you mean I am one of those people?” You decide to ask to lighten up the mood which was successful as he seemed to laugh.

“I’m just saying, you are part of the people who hate on love songs to be “unique” for some odd reason,” He explains while doing air quotations.

“I don’t hate them just to be unique. I am not that shallow!”

“Alright, so why then?” You sigh as you look at your glass of water.

“I just think they set an unrealistic standard for what love really is.” Sunwoo tilts his head in confusion and asks, “Care to expound?”

“I’m not dramatic or anything, by the way. I think love just isn’t what lyricists make it out to be,” You say as you finally look straight at him.

“Okay, so what are your experiences with it then?”

“Woah Sunwoo, jumping right into it? Give me some time.” You chuckle.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to–”

“I was just kidding, Sunwoo. You’re good.” Sunwoo only smiles and drinks some water.

“What about you? Why do you seem to love love songs?”

“I don’t know what else to say other than I’m a hopeless romantic,” He admits with a small smile.

“Good experiences with love then I’m guessing?”

“Sure, but I just continue to love as if it’s my first time doing so.”

With that, Sunwoo has you smiling. Something about his answer makes your heart throb; you knew it would be a privilege to be loved by him. “Wow, you really are a hopeless romantic.”

Sunwoo rolls his eyes at your comment. “Alright, sue me! There’s nothing wrong with being one.”

You hum as you prop your arm on the table and rest your chin on your hand. “Yeah, it just adds more to my research.”

“Sunwoo, you sure know the best places to eat,” You admit as you try to keep yourself awake from entering a food coma.

Sunwoo smiles both at what you say and how your eyes slightly droop. “Thank you. My friend, Haknyeon, suggested this place back when we were in our trainee days. Now, we eat here so much that everyone seems to know the usual.”

You giggle and let out a small sigh as you look down at the table. “It must be nice to hang out with your friends almost every single second of the day.”

Sunwoo notices the small frown that is about to appear on your face. Before he could say anything, you shake your head as you chuckle and say, “Anyway, shall we head out?”

All Sunwoo did was nod and stand up with you as you exited the small function room. You took this opportunity to look around the restaurant and notice a bar with a small stage beside it. On that stage, people were playing different instruments as they performed a jazzy tune you were unfamiliar with.

Before Sunwoo could leave the restaurant, he noticed you staring in awe at the performers. There was something with how you admired a trio of musicians; the glint in your eyes as you observed how they pluck the strings of their instruments or played the keys of the piano; the slight bobbing of your head as you tried to go along with the tempo they played. The absolute adoration that seemed to show on your face made Sunwoo want—no, need to have you around to experience more moments like these.

Suddenly, your face of admiration morphed into realization. As you meet Sunwoo’s gaze, you say, “I figured it out.”

It is 8:37 PM. You and Sunwoo have spent the last four or five hours working on your own to create the best track suited for their unit song. In those hours, you managed to create the base track on GarageBand and think of a melody in your head. Yet, within those hours, you never noticed how much Sunwoo spent his time looking at you.

“I think I have it,” You finally say as you remove your headphones and look back to see Sunwoo who was on his fifth page full of messy words and scribbles. “Sure, you can play it out loud.”

You change the output settings to speakers and play the track for the two of you to listen. The sound of the electric guitar, the bass, and the drums came all together. You carefully watched Sunwoo as you await his response to the 45-second recording you produced.

As the track finally came to an end, you could not tell what Sunwoo thought of it. “I know it’s not a lot, but that was something I imagined for the track to turn out,” You admit as you continued to stare at him.

“Could you play it again?” You listened to his request and followed. One loop of the short recording turned into three more loops, and you were scared. No matter how many artists you have produced tracks for, you always find yourself anxious about everyone’s feedback.

Sunwoo bopped his head along with the track as he went through the lyrics he wrote. As it reached the end, he looked up to give you a big smile. “It sounds amazing. You never fail to amaze me.” 

Despite only getting to know him today, something about those words seemed to warm your heart. With that, you smile as you get off your seat and say, “I kind of thought of the melody too. Care to give me a hand with recording it?”

Sunwoo nodded with the same smile plastered on his face as he got off his seat. Once you entered the recording booth, you saw him seated right in front of the mixing console and desktop. You wear the headphones and test the microphone.

“Am I at a good volume?” You speak into the microphone and earn a nod from him.

“You can play the track, just make sure I’m being recorded.” With that, Sunwoo gives you a thumbs-up and presses a few buttons.

Once you heard the track play out in your headphones, you decided to hum a short tune. Sometimes, you even sang a few lines that came to you on the spot. Some of the things you said did not make sense but Sunwoo seemed to enjoy every single line you sang.

When the track ended abruptly, you look at Sunwoo only to see those doe eyes full of adoration.

“Y/N, please tell me you slept because–oh? You actually slept,” Soeun says in shock as she enters your bedroom and sees you still in bed.

“Soeun, what time is it?” You ask groggily as you rub your eyes.

“11 AM. I am quite surprised you slept.”

“Yeah well, Sunwoo and I squeezed out too much creative juices yesterday and basically ran dry,” You explained as you sat up and stretched your limbs.

“Mhm, how was it? Any progress?” You roll your eyes and get out of bed to walk to your closet

“Soeun, I know I fall quick and hard for almost any person but I am not going to indulge in this one.”

“We’ll see about that,” Soeun mutters loud enough for you to hear.

Before you could interject, she says, “Jihoon told me that Chanhee wouldn’t be participating in the production process due to the schedules he has to attend. Although Jihoon did say Chanhee was incredibly upset.” You nod and hum as you decide what to wear for the day.

“Which means more time with Sunwoo!”

“Soeun!”

“So, Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Mind if I could ask you something personal?”

“Depends how you define ‘personal’.”

“How was it in 1CON? How was it to be the nation’s sweetheart?” The way Sunwoo phrased it had you laughing.

“God, I am not the nation’s sweetheart,” You deny as you decide to take a short break and look back at him.

“That’s not what the publications say! Almost every news outlet calls 1CON that.”

“I was ranked seventh, and it was a miracle! I even questioned how I managed to make it to the final lineup,” You argue as you take a sip of matcha that Sunwoo had surprised you with when you entered the building. You did not know how he knew but you could only guess that he researched on you even more.

Sunwoo frowns at your reply and says, “You went against a hundred contestants, you shouldn’t downplay your efforts.”

You only sigh and decide to cut the argument short. “Well, 1CON was just like any group; there’s not much to say.”

“Wasn’t the training difficult?”

You chose to keep your answer short and say, “It was, but my time with 1CON is something I still cherish to this day. I made some friends that I still talk to and hang out with until this day.”

“You’re close friends with Jiwoo and Heejin, right?” You nod as you look up to the ceiling, remembering the fun you had with 1CON. Despite everything you have been through, you would sometimes justify the mistreatment you faced with your debut with 1CON.

“I’m close with Yuri also, but I’m casual with everyone,” You tell a white lie to Sunwoo, knowing he would never find out.

“You came from JYP, right?”

“Wow, Sunwoo, you really have been doing research on me. You know you could always just ask! You can’t trust all the things you see on the Internet!”

Sunwoo giggles at your response, his smile showing up once more. “I’m just curious since Ryujin and Chaeryeong are from the same company as you.”

“Brilliant observation from Mr. Kim Sunwoo.” You point out which has Sunwoo laughing once more.

“I’m serious! Wouldn’t you have debuted with them?”

You sigh as you take another sip of matcha. “I would’ve but I am here producing tracks for others.”

Silence engulfs you two as both of you continue to bask in your answer. “Don’t get me wrong, I do love producing. Sometimes, I look at the artists who perform the tracks I produce and think, “Wow, I could never do that.””

Sunwoo was about to interject but you continued to speak. “But I can’t deny that I miss being on stage. The stadiums, the fansigns, the fans… and performing with friends. 1CON has changed my life, and sometimes I wish I could go back to when we were still together.”

It has been a while since you have gotten to vocalize your thoughts, and it felt nice to let this out to Sunwoo. Soeun knew all of your struggles and inner thoughts, but you always felt bad for repeating the same words and thoughts. Now that you got to vocalize this to Sunwoo, you felt at ease around him.

“I wish you would realize that you are talented to perform the tracks you produced,” Sunwoo speaks up which has you ripping your gaze from the ceiling to look right at him.

“Y/N, I do think you are capable enough—no, even more than capable to perform the tracks you have produced. I’ve listened to your own tracks, the ones you published yourself, and I believe they are the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard.” Your eyes are in awe over his words. “You are a very talented person, Y/N, and you might have to be my favorite producer and artist out there.”

What Sunwoo says has you starstruck. The way he thought and viewed you should have put this huge amount of pressure on you, but you were pleasantly surprised when you were met with a breath of fresh air.

“Wow, you are very passionate about this,” You finally speak up, trying to shrug off the fact that he complimented you.

Sunwoo frowns at your response and says, “Y/N, you really should give yourself more credit.”

With that, you sigh and give in for once. “Thank you, Sunwoo.”

It was weird to think how someone thought all of that about you. Having someone think of you as their favorite artist and producer? In an industry full of capable and even more talented individuals compared to little you? It felt even weirder to know that someone had to be Sunwoo.

“So, what about you? What’s it like to be in The Boyz?”

It is 2:32 AM, and you and Sunwoo are seated inside the convenience store having some late-night snacks. You could officially say you were done with 75% done with the track. You needed to work on the bridge and outro for you to finally do the final arrangements and call it finished. Sunwoo was going at a pretty good pace; he finished writing the lyrics for almost all of Chanhee’s parts and had to do some final edits on his rap.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I guess you could say it was just like any trainee experience: difficult.” You hum as you take a sip of banana milk and stare out the window.

“There were the unhealthy diets, the long hours of practice, and the scolding. God, the scolding from the company was too much that I contemplated leaving.”

“But you didn’t leave.”

Sunwoo sighs and says, “Yeah, I didn’t. Yet, there were numerous times when I wondered if all the shit I was going through would be worth it, you know? Is all the pain and suffering I’m going through right now that worth it for a debut with a group I wasn’t sure would be a success?”

You understood every word that Sunwoo was saying at that moment. The way he phrased his thoughts was exactly your thoughts back then. Despite you sharing the same sentiments with Sunwoo, you chose to not speak of the past you kept hidden.

“I see. But you’re happy now, right? Happy with The Boyz?” You decide to ask as you finally look at him.

“I couldn’t imagine my life without them. My beginning was with them and they will be my ending as well,” Sunwoo admits with a small smile on his face as he looks back at you.

During that moment, you lay your hand on his shoulder and say, “Sunwoo, I am happy that despite everything, you persevered through it all. I am so glad that you made your debut with a group that loves and cares for you. They are so lucky to have someone like you.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widen at your words, clearly not expecting to hear that. Before you could take your hand off his shoulder, he grabs it and holds your hand in his.

“Yeah… I’m so glad to have met you.” He looks out the window. “You know, you really are the nation’s sweetheart in every aspect I’ve gotten to know. The world is so lucky to have you.”

His hushed words have you flustered; it seems harder to not like him when he continues to say shit like that. As his smile followed after those words, you knew you were screwed when you felt your heart beat out of your chest. So when he said the words “C’mon, I’ll take the bus with you going home. It’s too late for you to go home all by yourself,” you knew that it was impossible to not like a guy like Sunwoo.

“He OFFERED?!”

“Soeun! Quiet down!” You exclaim as you pat your face dry with a towel.

“Sorry, I was just surprised. Sunwoo is an actual decent guy,” Soeun says as she leans on your doorframe.

“Well, he is a really good guy. He has a heart of gold.”

As you say those words while you do your morning skincare routine, you notice Soeun’s expression through the mirror morph into that all-knowing smile you have learned to hate.

“God, I can say that and not pursue him. Let me be,” You say as you roll your eyes.

“I’m just saying that with all the stories you’ve told me, it seems that he likes you too.”

You laugh at her statement and continue on with your skincare routine.

“If you’re worried about dating bans, you don’t have one. Neither does Sunwoo, I’ve asked Jihoon.” 

“SOEUN!” 

“What?! I just thought to bring it up in case you didn’t know,” Soeun says with a small smile as she scrolls through some documents on her iPad.

You sigh as you continue with your skincare routine, a mind full of last night's events. Nothing much happened if you were to be honest. You are not sure why Soeun was making it a big deal because it seemed like a basic act of decency that anyone could perform. And yet, you were unsure why your heart would flutter when you remembered it.

“I don’t know, it’s just… weird for me. I mean, I did meet him recently.”

“Yeah, but you’ve spent a good chunk of time with Sunwoo. I never held it against you when you developed this crush on him, and I think it’s healthy! I mean, we’ve spent so many years together, and I like seeing you happy.”

Soeun’s words should have brought comfort to you, but doubt took over. You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at yourself in the mirror.

“Yeah, but work comes first.”

“But–”

“Nope, I don’t want to hear anything from you,” You silence Soeun, making her frown. The work you did was more important than anything, even more than a stupid little crush you developed for a colleague. I mean, it would remain a crush, right?

Once you finished getting ready for the morning, your phone buzzed. As you grabbed onto it, you were surprised to see a text from Sunwoo.

zzoguri 🦝: hey Y/N! i was wondering if you were up to join me for this little party

y/n: sunwoo what happened to only meeting up for work? WHAHASGDH

zzoguri 🦝: okay but we need to have some breaks you know! we deserve it after all the progress we’ve made

y/n: do you not remember that we have a deadline to meet which is only 3 days from now

y/n: plus the times we aren’t together are breaks!

zzoguri 🦝: oh cmon y/n :( if you don’t want to hang that’s fine.

You furrow your eyes as you were unsure to respond.

“Why the frown?” Soeun asks, which makes you sigh and show your conversation to her. As she reads the chat, you notice how her expression morphs into disappointment.

“Y/N, you are on a different level of being dense.”

“What?! Why?”

“He’s asking you on a date!” She says which makes you frown even more.

“Asking me out to a party is not a date. What are you on?”

“Well, maybe not on a date date, but he’s finding opportunities to spend more time with you outside of the typical meetings or work hours.” She says as she shakes her head and goes back to her iPad.

You pout as you look back at your conversation. If Sunwoo thought this was a date (which you highly doubt), he needs to step up in his game.

“I’m not saying you should take his offer, but he just wants to spend more time with you, as a friend or maybe even more,” Soeun points out, which has you pondering even harder on how to respond. Once you reached a decision, you let out a sigh and type away

y/n: kim sunwoo, i enjoy spending time with you if you’re worried about that

y/n: send me the details and i’ll make sure to attend

zzoguri 🦝: wow THE y/n enjoys spending time with me. i am honored.

y/n: don’t get ahead of yourself

zzoguri 🦝: trust me, i’m only acting like this because i’m lucky to have you 😋

It sucks that you felt yourself smile and your cheeks warm at the message.

Sunwoo did not tell you much about the party, so you wore a smart casual outfit as a safety option. When you asked about the address, he only answered with an “I’ll be picking you up.” You were seated by the kitchen island as you continued to scroll through Twitter.

The praise your recent work got for Wheein’s album was a sight you loved, and you hoped for more collaborations with the soloist. On the charts, your work was doing well alongside the title track. After all the countless nights spent working on tracks, you always find yourself at ease after seeing how the public received them.

The doorbell rings, and you are reminded that you were waiting for Sunwoo. You stood up from your seat and swung the door open, surprised to be greeted by the man you were waiting for who was dressed up from his usual hoodie. As he saw you, not a single sound left him; he was stuck looking at you up and down.

“Uh, Sunwoo?” You ask to break the weird silence that seemed to engulf you two.

“Oh, sorry. I was just—you look wonderful.”

 You smile to cover up the fact you were blushing, and joke, “You don’t think I look good the other times we’ve met?”

“Ah, that’s not what I mean. You look great every day, but today… you just look, even more beautiful right now.”

You did not expect Sunwoo to say that which has you more flustered than ever. It was impossible that Sunwoo did not know what he was doing to you; he should definitely know now.

“C’mon, we’ve got a party to attend,” He says with a smile as he grabs your hand.

As he got into the car with you, you noticed that it was Jihoon in the driver’s seat. To be honest, you were not sure why you were nervous about this whole thing. Maybe it felt weird to hold hands with Jihoon around; it also did not help to know Sunwoo had no dating ban.

With that, your hands started to get clammy, and you were about to let go of his hand. Yet, he never seemed to be bothered by your sweaty hands. Despite what you thought of the Pacific Ocean forming in your hands, he continued to hold it with the same grip. As he looked out the window to admire the city lights, you were left to admire the boy beside you.

The ride to the party did not take long. In fact, the location of it felt quite near IST Entertainment. The party took place in a building right beside the Japanese restaurant you and Sunwoo started to frequent after that one lunch. You could not help it; the sushi is to die for.

When the two of you entered the building, it was full of function rooms that could hold around a hundred to two hundred individuals. You expected Sunwoo to let go of your hand the moment you two exited the car, but he never did.

Eventually, you two arrived in front of a door. Before he could open it, you hold him back. He looks back at you with wide eyes that were laced with worry.

“Hey, are you okay?” You bite your lip as you felt your limbs fill with anxiety.

“I… I don’t know. Who are the people in there? I’m not the greatest in social gatherings so I might end up clinging onto you. Is that okay? I mean–”

Before you could continue on a tangent, Sunwoo lets go of your hand and grabs onto your face to gain your attention (which he successfully did). The warmth of his hands on your cheeks; the eye contact he held; everything about him had the ability to make you shut up and admire him like he is the only person on this earth. And that god-forsaken smile started to creep onto his lips—you were screwed.

“It’ll be alright. Cling onto me for as long as you want, I’ll make sure to keep you company. Don’t forget, I did invite you which makes me obligated to take care of you.” Before you could protest, he cuts you off.

“Sorry, don’t think I’m keeping you company as a task. I enjoy spending time with you too, and I want to spend whatever second I have left with you,” He says, which has your knees weak.

If Sunwoo did not know the power of his words, you would have smacked him then and there. There is no way the guy right in front of you is saying all this without knowing the impact these words would have on anyone. Maybe he was just as dense as Soeun thinks you are, and you were betting on it.

He eventually lets go of your face and grabs onto your hand once more. With that, he looks back to the door and swings it open. The two of you were greeted by strobe lights and BIBI’s “The Weekend” as you entered the function room.

If you had to guess, the party seemed to have at least fifty individuals (possibly a mix of idols and staff) who looked like they were having the time of their lives. As you were taking in your surroundings, you noticed idols such as Kim Yerim of Red Velvet and Mark Lee of NCT chatting with other idols you recognized.

The party was full of big shots, and that terrified you. Your nerves were starting to get to you that Sunwoo could notice. With that, you found yourself being brought in front of him so that he could hold onto your shoulders as you two walked.

“If you want to leave already, just let me know, okay?” He whispers into your ear as you continue to walk to wherever he is leading you to.

If people did not notice you were here, people definitely noticed now considering how close you and Sunwoo were. Before you could tell Sunwoo that others were staring, you two eventually arrived at a table occupied by ten other guys you knew from research—you can only assume it is the rest of his group.

“Guess who finally showed up!” Juyeon pointed out which has the rest of the group looking at you two.

“I know, I know. I had to pick up Y/N from their place.” Sunwoo says as he high-fives some of them.

“Oh my god, Y/N, please do take a seat,” Changmin says as he grabs onto the chair beside him. You give him a small smile and take a seat with Sunwoo doing the same beside you.

“I think I should introduce you to–”

“Oh, you don’t have to! I know who everyone is,” You cut Sunwoo off which has the rest of the group in shock.

“The Y/N knows us?! Korea’s sweetheart?!” Eric exclaims which has you giggling.

“Of course! Why would I agree to produce a track for Chanhee and Sunwoo if I didn’t know your group? What you guys put out is amazing!” The group expresses their gratitude after your compliment.

“I mean, the same goes for you! I would be embarrassed to admit this, but you were my bias when 1CON was still together,” Changmin says which has you laughing.

“Oh please, I don’t take compliments well,” You say as you try to shrug it off.

“I mean, Sunwoo was probably worse! He would–”

“Aish, shut up Haknyeon! Y/N doesn’t have to know,” Sunwoo attempts to cut Haknyeon off before he could spill anything.

“What? Now I wanna know!”

“Ah, Y/N! Don’t listen to him!” Sunwoo exclaims which makes you laugh at him.

“Sunwoo, I think Haknyeon has something very important to share with me. You wouldn’t want to stop us from being friends, would you?” When he gives you a pout, all you could do is giggle and pat his knee.

As the others seemed invested in their own conversations, Haknyeon says, “Well, Sunwoo had you as his bias even before you debuted in 1CON.” You gasp as you look at the guy moping beside you and back to Haknyeon.

“It was funny because he so badly wanted to meet you before but your group and The Boyz never had their schedules line up when it came to promotions. I remember when Changmin said he had you as his bias; the reaction on Sunwoo’s face is so memorable.” With that, you smile at Sunwoo who was busy sulking.

“Sunwoo, why didn’t you tell me this?” You ask which has him looking back at you.

“I didn’t think it was relevant to mention,” He mutters.

“You were just shy about it!” You exclaim as you could not stop yourself from smiling at the shy boy in front of you.

“Ah, whatever! New topic, please! Where’s Soobin and Yeonjun?”

“Uh, they were just here. However, Y/N! I forgot to mention that–” Before Haknyeon could finish his sentence, you were interrupted by your phone buzzing in your bag. As you grab it, you see a text message from Soeun.

ssongie 🐧: hey, let me know when you get back home! i’ll seriously scold jihoon if sunwoo doesn’t bring you back home.

ssongie 🐧: and i know you hate huge social gatherings so don’t hesitate to call me

ssongie 🐧: actually just call me when you're there so that i know you’re safe please &lt;3

You giggle at Soeun’s messages and decide to get up from your seat.

“I just have to call Soeun,” You explain to Sunwoo and Haknyeon and excuse yourself from the table to go to the washroom. As you were busy typing out a response, you accidentally bump into someone.

“Oh my god, I’m so–”

“Y/N? I did not expect you to be here!” The voice belonged to someone you last wished to bump into, especially at a gathering full of idols. As you look up, you see the face of your ex-peer who constantly overshadowed you from pre-debut until disbandment.

Jiyoon—the one person you hoped to avoid encountering at any given moment, especially at IST Entertainment—just had to bump into you here. You were shocked by how the universe works. How could they make you meet her here, out of all the places too?

Before you could say anything, Jiyoon wrapped her arms around your figure. The sudden action did not help how surprised you were by the whole situation.

“Y/N, it’s been a while!” She exclaims once she lets go, clearly not noticing how you did not hug her back.

“I–we saw each other recently,” You say, which makes her laugh.

“Oh yeah! But I couldn’t stay for long, remember? I had to leave the moment you got there!” Jiyoon smiled at you which made you feel awkward.

The thing is Jiyoon never intentionally did anything bad to you. In fact, your old company was to blame for cultivating this competitive environment between you two. Yet, you were sure Jiyoon saw you as a competitor as well despite the façade she put on.

“Uh, yeah. What a bummer!” If she did not notice how awkward you feel about this encounter, she should definitely notice now.

You just wanted to get out of this horrible situation. The need to just crawl under your covers to isolate yourself from your memories and reality is so strong. It did not help that people were observing the interaction between you two. I mean, who would not want to see two of Korea’s sweethearts interact once more? Yet, you knew people were curious about what would go down between you two.

“How’s producing going for you? I was shocked to hear you didn’t debut with Ryujin and Chaeryeong in ITZY! Was it because you didn’t make it to the final line-up?” You frowned at her.

“Producing is amazing because I enjoy what I do now. And no, I just decided to leave JYP.” Your response was laced with a touch of passive aggressiveness as you were uncomfortable with her question.

“Oh, what a shame. I just thought that you would have fit ITZY, but I guess JYP wouldn’t accept any of your tracks for their albums, would they?”

See, that is the problem with Jiyoon; a fake ass bitch who knew how to press your buttons. If everyone else knew how much of a bitch she was, maybe you would not have to struggle being under fire for choosing to be a producer rather than an idol.

Before you could say anything, you felt someone’s arm wrap around your shoulders.

“Hi, Jiyoon! Sorry to interrupt but Y/N and I have somewhere to be,” Sunwoo intervenes as he gives a small smile to Jiyoon.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you two came together.” Jiyoon gives a smile—the same one you grew to hate over the years. “Well, I hope to see you again, Y/N.”

Once Jiyoon finally leaves, you do not take another second to shrug Sunwoo’s arm off and make your way out of the function room. As Sunwoo follows you out, the two of you continue to walk back to the car in silence. Jihoon notices you two and starts up the car.

The moment you two get in, not a single word is exchanged throughout the whole ride. You were sure Sunwoo was confused about your reaction but maybe he did not want to ask you about it until you were ready.

What you do not expect is to feel his hand rest on top of yours. There is something that his touch does to bring you comfort. If you could unravel the reason for this, you would take it in a heartbeat. But for now, all you can do is let yourself feel at ease.

Once you were brought back to your home, Sunwoo walked you back to the door. Before you decided to enter your home, you take a look at Sunwoo who looked worried. With that, you gave him an apologetic smile and say, “I’m sorry about tonight.”

“Hey, don’t even worry about it,” Sunwoo starts off. “It’s none of my business, but just know I’m here for you.”

You cannot help but smile at him. For a moment, you do not know what to say. Yet, something possess you. Without thinking, you felt your face closer to his. As his eyes widen at the distance between you two, you cannot help but smile.

With your head leaning to the side, you felt your lips get closer to his cheek until there was no distance left. It was a short kiss to begin with, and not much thought was put into the action. The moment you pulled away, you are still met with Sunwoo’s shocked expression.

You chose to not say anything. All you did was smile and walk away. Once you entered your home, you could not help but focus on the memories you had with Jiyoon in them (and the peck you gave Sunwoo).

Having to face Sunwoo the next day was a task you were not ready to take on. As you look back at the events that transpired last night, you were unsure of how to go back to normal without acknowledging your encounter with Jiyoon (and the k*ss on the cheek you gave out of impulse).

You wish you knew what was going through your mind that made you k*ss him. Everything felt like a blur yet crystal clear. Being driven by impulse and having no second thoughts had you placed in bad situations.

Thankfully, Sunwoo did not make any comment about last night the moment you entered the studio. In fact, the only thing you two talked about was about the track. He probably did not want to put you in an awkward position, or maybe he felt awkward himself. Either way, the two of you continued to work by yourselves.

“Why aren’t you signed with a company?” Sunwoo asks the golden question that stops you from working.

You were not sure why the sudden question but all signs have to point to what Jiyoon said last night (or what she probably told The Boyz considering they are under the same company).

“You don’t have to answer–”

“Thank you, I won’t,” You say to end the conversation.

“I’m sorry if–”

“Sunwoo,” You interrupt before he could continue.

As you look away from the computer to look at him, you say, “Just continue working.” Your tone was laced with malice as you throw a glare at him. With that, Sunwoo chose to shut up and continue writing out his rap while you tried to finish the song.

The more you two continued on with work, the more you felt guilt piling in your stomach. Sunwoo was only asking a question and you treated him with such hostility. As you felt your heart get eaten away, you wondered how you could apologize to him.

Around 1 AM, it was safe to say that you were done with the base track. Thankfully, it also seemed that Sunwoo was done with the lyrics of his raps and Chanhee’s verses.

“Thank god! All we have to do is record the demo tomorrow and we’re good to go,” You say as you save the files into your USB.

Once you shut the computer down and stood up, you look back to see Sunwoo still seated on the couch. You let out a sigh as you look down at the USB in your hands.

“I’m sorry about earlier, and last night.” When you look back up at him, he had his eyes trained on you. You took a moment to think about how to approach the situation considering you fucked up.

“Do you… do you wanna grab something with me at the convenience store? Consider it an apology or an opportunity for me to explain,” You offer with a small smile.

With that, Sunwoo nods and stands up from his seat. Thank god Sunwoo is willing to hear you out.

Sunwoo took this opportunity to buy out the whole convenience store. As you two exit to take a seat in the outdoor area, his arms seemed to carry an abundance of snacks while you held onto strawberry milk and potato chips. Once the two of you got settled, you both dug into your snacks in comfortable silence.

“I’ll, uhm, explain,” You start off as you look down at your drink.

“You don’t have to if you aren’t ready to share that part with me,” Sunwoo reassures you before you could continue.

“I know, but… I trust you.” Both you and him were shocked at your words. “I–I was just thrown off a while ago because only a few people know that part of my life.”

The moment you look back up to Sunwoo, his doe eyes were full of concern. He knows that it is a sensitive topic if you snapped a while ago—and it is. Usually, you were not the type to snap at people, but this topic was a touchy issue.

“Well, you know that I used to be under JYP even before I debuted in 1CON.” Sunwoo nods. “I obviously had plans to be part of a girl group, which was ITZY if you didn’t overhear my conversation with Jiyoon. To be honest, the line-up for ITZY was tight considering that ten trainees were competing for it, including me,” You speak as you reveal the secrets of your past.

“The thing is that I was technically going to make it in the final line-up even before 1CON. So, when Soeun—who was also a staff member of JYP Entertainment—revealed that Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I were going to audition for Produce 101, it shocked all of us. I mean, the three of us seemed like we were going to debut in ITZY, so why did we have to go through that shitty survival show?”

“Well, when Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I made it into the final line-up, ITZY’s debut was pushed back as well. The time I spent with 1CON is something I would carry with me throughout this lifetime, but I can’t deny that the company that oversaw us was terrible.” You look down at your banana milk.

“Even after being in the final line-up for 1CON, there was this competitive nature that made it impossible for me to feel at ease. Of course, I can’t speak for everyone because most of us got along. However, I guess the most evident rivalry was between Jiyoon and I.” As you look at Sunwoo once more, he was only listening to what you had to say. There were no interruptions on his end, and that made you grateful.

“I mean, you’ve watched Produce 101, and I’m guessing you followed the news on my group. I’m sure most media outlets would focus on the rivalry between me and Jiyoon as fans would try to defend our relationship. As much as people wanted to believe that we were best friends, we really weren’t.”

“It also didn’t help that our company, Stone Entertainment, seemed to favor her over me. I swear, I respect her as a producer since we were the only people in the group who dabbled into that. Yet, it was always hard to be a producer for 1CON when your company denied your works or would completely rearrange it without giving you credit.”

“They did WHAT?!” Sunwoo exclaims for the first time since you opened up about this topic which has you giggling.

“Yeah, it was terrible. Stone Entertainment never touched Jiyoon’s works. If they did though, they always made sure to give her credit. The rivalry I had with Jiyoon was something I knew I lost the moment they took my name out of the credits for one of the tracks I produced for the group.” You sigh. “Of course, I couldn’t protest because I would be risking my position in 1CON. Along with that, JYP would have been pissed if I spoke up.”

“So yeah, I had to live under the shadow of Jiyoon. I thought that things would go better for me once I came back under the care of JYP, but I was mistaken. There was no creative freedom with the tracks I planned to produce for the group. In fact, it felt like I was being used by the company. And despite all the countless producers JYP had contact with, they made sure to use me somehow.”

“So, imagine this: I was being starved, overworked, and overwhelmed by JYP. The fact that I couldn’t do what I love without being constantly criticized took an absolute toll on me. What I went through with Stone Entertainment was traumatic in some way, to be honest. While I was trying to get over that, I had to deal with JYP.”

“In the end, I made the decision to leave, having to pay off any expenses that they covered. Soeun followed me, and it’s a burden I carry with me. I can’t pay her much despite all the work she’s done for me. Yet, she stuck with me, and I’m happy she’s taking the decision to work with IST.”

The silence that engulfs you two should be deafening, but it was calming for you. Vocalizing what you went through felt like a weight off your chest. Somehow, saying all of it made you realize just how much you had to go through to be where you are now.

Once you looked up, you were greeted by Sunwoo’s eyes which were full of sorrow.

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” He whispers which has you shaking your head.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. In fact, the people who owe me an apology are JYP and Stone Entertainment,” You say with a laugh, looking at the starry sky.

“That’s why when netizens talk about how I’m a wasted opportunity or question what my future plans are, I don’t pay attention to them. What I went through at those two companies was enough to know how I’d be treated in the industry.” You sigh. “But I love music at the end of it all—I love the music I worked hard on.”

As you admired the sea of stars that seemed to surround you two, Sunwoo grabbed your hand from across the table. The moment you look back at him, he does not say anything. Instead, he continues to rub his thumb on your hand, drawing patterns as you two sit in what you shared.

You were over what happened then; you did not cry like you used to. Yet, there is something so comforting about Sunwoo’s hand caressing yours that says, “You can cry if you want to.” And cry you did.

The tears slowly streamed down your face, and you realized just how vulnerable you were around the man you supposedly just met a few days ago. Before you could say anything, you see Sunwoo give you a smile of sympathy as he continues to hold your hand that starts to shake.

Once the sobs started to pour out, you could not look at him anymore. Your body started to bend forward as you felt your heart start to ache at the memory. Somehow, you felt your body be brought towards the warm figure who was once seated across you. As Sunwoo let you cry into his chest, his arms stayed wrapped around your figure as he rubbed circles on your back.

You were never the person who could easily be vulnerable around others. Yet, it was so easy to be that way with Sunwoo. Despite the small period of time getting to know him, he did not seem to judge you as tears and snot continued to drip. That was the moment you realized that Sunwoo is everything good in this world.

Having to meet Sunwoo the next day to record the final track was probably the most nerve-wracking experience yet. In the past two days, you managed to k*ss him on the cheek (god, you hate thinking about it that you cannot even say it) and also sob your eyes out to the point his hoodie was soaked. You are not sure how you can embarrass yourself even more.

When you entered the recording studio, the universe seemed to save your ass since you saw Chanhee and Sunwoo together. Thankfully, there would be no opportunity to spend some time alone with him (at least for now).

“Ah, Y/N! It’s so nice to see you again,” Chanhee exclaims as he grabs your hand to shake it.

“It’s nice to see you too, Chanhee! Has Sunwoo shown you the lyrics and melody?”

“Yes, he did. I was practicing all night, so I’m hoping you’ll be satisfied later.” You shake your head with a smile on your face. The moment your eyes land on Sunwoo, you see his eyes on you. Still nervous from yesterday, you look back at Chanhee to get rid of the fact that Sunwoo was staring at you.

“No, this is your track. Whatever you do should live up to your standards. I’m sure whatever you do will blow my mind anyway,” You say letting go of his hand.

Once you take a seat in front of the mixing console, you say, “Chanhee, you can step into the recording booth first so we can record your parts. Sunwoo seems to have his rap under control, so let’s work hard to do the bigger tasks.”

The whole process of having Chanhee and Sunwoo record their parts seemed to pass by quickly. In fact, you managed to only spend two and a half hours just recording their parts since they wanted to experiment and figure out which went best.

What followed after was for you to combine their vocals with the track. It did not take much, which surprised you. Usually, you would struggle with this segment of the process. Yet, it helped to have Sunwoo and Chanhee in the room as they talked about whatever.

As you were immersed in cleaning up the final track, you never noticed how Sunwoo was preoccupied with admiring you. Although Chanhee caught sight of it, he continued to talk to the wall to not blow his best friend’s cover.

What you do not catch is one boy whispering to the other about admitting his feelings for you after everything.

On the next day, you were not as nervous as you expected to be (maybe it is because Chanhee and Sunwoo enjoyed the final product). You were seated with the two across from Jihoon, Soeun, and the CEO of IST Entertainment, Mr. Yoon, to present the final track.

“Thank you again for meeting with us today and accepting the offer to produce the track for Chanhee and Sunwoo,” Mr. Yoon says with a smile.

“Of course, it is a pleasure to be given this opportunity,” You say as you bow your head.

“Can you give us a brief explanation of what you have prepared for us?”

With that, you nod and give Chanhee and Sunwoo to explain the meaning behind the song.

“Mr. Yoon, the track we have prepared with Y/N is entitled “Don’t,” which is a love story with a twist. It’s a story between two people who started off casually flirting but slowly realize that they have feelings for each other,” Chanhee starts off.

“The story of this song is that the two possible lovers don’t want to admit anything and would like to stay away from alcohol in fear that they might confess under the influence,” Sunwoo continues, allowing you to say the last segment of the explanation.

“The track is R&B with a Soul feel. Sunwoo is responsible for creating the meaning behind this track, and I just worked with his idea. We hope you enjoy what we have to offer,” You finish off the explanation and signal Soeun to play the track for Mr. Yoon.

As the track played, you noticed Soeun, Jihoon, and Mr. Yoon going along with the music. In fact, it looked like they were enjoying it. As you were waiting for the track to end, you felt someone’s hand grab onto yours from under the table. When you look down, you notice that it was Sunwoo’s hand that grabbed yours. The moment you look at Sunwoo who is seated beside you, he does not spare you a glance but continues to hold your hand that rests on your lap.

You two have not talked about the k*ss on the cheek or the sob moment you had back at the convenience store. In fact, you have not talked about how he held your hand in the car or how he held your face to calm you down. Never once did you two mention the flirtatious comments you two would throw at each other.

So, what happens once the track gets approved? Will these all stop once you and Sunwoo do not have to work together anymore? What will happen to the relationship between you two?

The moment the track reaches its end, you are snapped back to reality. Once you look back at Mr. Yoon, you see him nodding with a small smile. He seemed to look satisfied with the final output.

“Y/N, I really enjoy what you put for us today. Your specialty is really with R&B tracks considering the artists you’ve produced for.” You were not sure whether that was a compliment or not since you produced tracks of different genres.

“Here at IST, we really appreciate what you put in for us. We’ll make sure to make good use of this demo.” You started to frown.

“I’m sorry, demo?” You ask, clarifying what you just heard.

“Yes, demo,” Mr. Yoon answers, leaving you taken back.

“Demo? Mr. Yoon, we agreed on Y/N producing the final track. This is not a demo,” Soeun says as she shared the same confusion you had. Mr. Yoon snaps his fingers, signaling for Jihoon to respond.

“Uhm, we sent an email a few days ago to Y/N’s email to inform them of the changes in the contract. We assumed that you two got the memo despite getting no response.” With that, you immediately stand up from your seat, Sunwoo’s hand not holding yours anymore.

“Even if, you should have clarified with me regarding this matter. I mean, we saw each other recently. Why did you not bother to ask me if I received your email?” You ask in disbelief as you set your hands on the table.

“If you were signed with a company, then you wouldn’t have to bother with fixing your habit of reading emails,” Mr. Yoon comments, which makes you scoff.

“Ah, so it’s like that then. The nerve of this company to comment on how I am an independent producer is disrespectful. Mr. Yoon, I’ll have you know that I signed that contract under the impression it would be the final track. I cannot accept giving you this as a demo knowing my work would be taken advantage of.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but we are only willing to accept it as a demo.” You cross your arms as you shake your head in disbelief.

“Mr. Yoon, don’t think this is the first time people have attempted to screw me over. I’ll have you know that I’ve been in this industry longer than your groups. Chanhee and Sunwoo can keep their lyrics while I keep my track. This agreement is over,” You say as you step away from the table, storming off the room to leave Soeun to deal with the rest.

As you made your way out of the building, you began to walk on the sidewalk to think about what just happened. Yet, you heard someone calling your name from behind. As you let out a sigh, you stood still in place and feel Sunwoo’s hand grab onto your shoulder.

“What now, Sunwoo?”

“I’m sorry about–”

“Sunwoo, you don’t need to apologize for anything. It’s your CEO and manager that need to apologize for the fact that they modified the contract without my knowledge, attempted to take advantage of my work to call it their own, and insulted me as an independent artist and producer,” You say as you were shocked with how things turned out.

Clearly, you were not in the right headspace to continue talking about what just happened. In fact, you were pissed with the events that transpired a while ago. You signed up to produce the final track with possible minimal changes, not a fucking demo.

“Y/N, will you hear me out?” Sunwoo asks which makes you let out a sigh.

“Yes, sorry. Please, say what you need to say,” You say, hoping he would understand what you felt considering how you opened up to him two days ago.

“I think you should still agree to it.”

Upon hearing those words, your mouth opens in shock. The one person you trusted to understand what you felt about this issue seemed to be turning their back on you. Considering that Sunwoo knew what you went through, you could not believe what he was asking you to do.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’ll still be a good opportunity! I’ll make sure they credit you for it, and I’ll even express my gratitude to ensure that people know you worked on this.” You let out a chuckle of disbelief as you shake off his hand that was once resting on your shoulder (and held your hand countless times).

“Kim Sunwoo, I expected better from you.” Before he could say anything, you cut him off.

“No, you don’t get to speak just yet. Sunwoo, you are an artist in this industry. You know how companies treat demos, and how there are opportunities for artists like me to get fucked over. Your company is not that different from others; they only care for profit as artists continue to struggle in this fucked up industry.”

“Sunwoo, I can’t believe that after everything I told you a few days ago, you dare to ask me something so difficult. I would have thought that out of all the people you would be the one who would understand, but clearly, you are no different from the companies who took advantage of me.”

You stand there for a few seconds in hopes to hear Sunwoo argue that he is not like the people who took advantage of you. In fact, you were waiting for him to say he understood and that he would like to apologize. But when no words came out of his mouth, that is when you knew that you were played with.

“Yeah, fuck you, Sunwoo. Don’t bother contacting me again.” With that, you stormed off and left him to sit in with what you said. You did not like to admit it but you were sure you felt tears fall as you continued to make your way back home on foot.

if you liked this, please take some time to like and reblog this!

#zzoguri works #deoboyznet #kflixnet #the boyz x reader #the boyz fluff #the boyz angst #the boyz kim sunwoo #kim sunwoo fluff #kim sunwoo #kim sunwoo x reader #the boyz #kim sunwoo angst #kim sunwoo fan fiction #of boundaries and secret glances (i'm lucky to be loved by you)

[lancelotscloak]

I don’t have the words to describe how absolutely devastated I am right now. I knew the English server would meet its demise sooner or later, but I never thought that… I would hear the news straight from Ikerev JP.

I was what people called a “newcomer” to the ikeseries fandom since I started off pretty late in mid-2020. Back then, fellow MLQC players on Twitter were flooding my timeline with ikemen series games, but Ikerev caught my eye the most (I was particularly interested in adult!Oliver). I downloaded it just to see what the hype was all about, without knowing that one day the game would become a huge source of comfort for me; that Lancelot would be the most important part of my life, that he would be a character I hold dear in my heart.

Like most people, the pandemic triggered anxious thoughts to the point that I was paralyzed with fear and all the what-ifs. I almost lost a job, and I had to support my family financially because the company dad worked at decided not to renew his contract after he was retired. All of these put a lot of pressure and stress on me. However, my grandpa’s death, followed by pet loss weeks later, were a real heavy blow for me. I was racked with guilt, and I feel my life is falling apart. Ikerev was my only escape, and “caring for” Lancelot was the only thing that kept me sane (yeah I know, something is wrong with me and I should’ve gone to therapist).

He brought so much happiness and joy to my life. Through Ikerev and Lancelot, I met wonderful people who make my days 1000000x better. Lancelot has been beside me, and helped me through tough times all these years. To think that one day I have to say goodbye to him… I don’t know if I’d be ready to do that.

I was preparing stuff for his upcoming birthday, but now… I don’t know anymore. It hurts and it makes me cry whenever I think of him.

I’m sorry, Lancelot. I wish I could do more to help the game running. I love you and I will miss you. Thank you for loving me, thank you for letting me love you.

(The art is a commissioned piece. Please do not repost, use or claim it as your own.)

#ikemen revolution #ikerev lancelot #lancelot kingsley #ikemen kakumei

[itsgivingautism]

01/18/24 — Zia rants about being autistic & physically disabled & chronically ill in a fucked ableist society & having to be dependent on their partner

Started to have meltdown over this & other stuff to my partner before he left for work…. I didn’t meant to have a morning meltdown. I found myself shutting down and feeling guilty before he left bc I can recognize it’s hard on him even when he doesn’t wanna show it. But needed a place to rant and ended up going off down below for a like an hour. I don’t want to open up but I made tumblr after not being on here since high school for an outlet for a lot of reasons, with support & encouragement from therapists to do so. But I also hate being perceived. I’m just so fucking annoying tho I somehow always bring attention to myself that I never want….. but I’m also learning to tell my story & share my experiences. As an autistic person late diagnosed who was severely abused throughout my entire childhood opening up, learning to unmask & not shutdown, understanding my own thoughts, feelings, & experiences is so fucking hard.

I am so grateful for my partner but god I wish I was independent. I wish I had the ability to take care of myself. I wish I wasn’t so fucking dependent on his love and support. I wish I wasn’t so needy, or clingy. I wish I wasn’t disabled physically and mentally. I wish I wasn’t so wounded & traumatized. I wish I wasn’t so chronically ill. I wish I wasn’t in autistic burnout, a state of prolonged cognitive decline that one average can last 2-10 years.

I wish I could get a job. Even working from home but my mind can’t even. I’m constantly age regressing and going across different timelines of my mind and getting trapped, constantly disconnecting from this current physical reality even when I seem like a part of it to others - but it’s just automatic masking as a trauma response. All a result of my CPTSD+autism+adhd

I haven’t been able to work a real job since 2020. I’ve been fighting to get the support & benefits I need but constantly being shit on. Having to go thru constant channels to prove how severe my issues are and then being told try this treatment first and when it doesn’t work its still somehow my fault. I’m sick of having to prove my disabilities & illnesses and then when I show how bad they are I’m being dramatic. But when I mask & show strength, I must be making it up. How could you be so strong about then? There’s no winning. Only losing. I don’t see a point in showing weakness or asking for help. But then refusing to and bottling it all up, that has lead me to deeply problematic bad spirals. I just want to be taken seriously by doctors & medical professionals. I hate this country.

I wish I was normal. I hate burdening my partner. Although I know he doesn’t want me to feel like one and he genuinely wants to help me, I also know I stress him out….

I am dependent on him financially while his job is fucking over their contracts, refusing to give him & his coworkers the raises they were supposed to get a year ago. Him and his coworkers have collectively trying to unionize for months (which is the only reason they actually didn’t get a pay cut which the company was tryna do even tho they were supposed to give raises last year) and ofc my partner has been the one leading the unionizing. (We joke about my radicalism really rubbing off on him)

I’m constantly trying to find ways to make money, which end up doing more damage to my body. He hate what it does to me. He wishes he could do more while stuck in his work contract. it’s a lot on him. And I feel like his life would be so much less stressful without me tho….. or at least if I could just be normal & healthy….

Even my friends point out that unless I’m talking about my emotions & trauma I don’t make any sense talking…. like burnout really shows…. It’s embarrassing constantly. I sound like a so clearly disabled most of the time. I used to exceptionally smart & articulate before this burnout. Ik they mean it accepting my but it’s hard when 90% of what I say comes out wrong. It’s hard when I’m trying to be supportive and it sounds like asshole shit bc my issues with speech & cognition. I want to be a lovely validating friend. Not the one they have to dissect my word vomit to find the love & support in foolish clumsily words. I’m technically hyperlexic so I can keep creating words but my other learning disabilities downgrade the quality & meaning of those words.

But I also only make sense when talking about my looping emotions & trauma is bc I only share what I can (the deeper stuff is vaulted by selective mutism & shutdowns). This is the shit going thru my brain, talking to myself about and looping constantly. Ofc it’s the only thing I can talk about. But even most the time I’m still not making sense entirely. But it’s all I can think about, talk to myself about, and it’s all the my brain is giving me permission to share about myself.

#disability rant #autistic rant #actually autistic #actually disabled #actually chronically ill #autistic adult #autistic blogger #disabled blogger #autistic experiences #disabled #chronically ill #actually cptsd #Zias diary 🌿 #Zia 🌿 #chronic illness

[joydilouis]

Lucky Again analysis

This is a lyric analysis and just my personal take on the song. Before I get into it I want to make it clear that if harry and louis never come out, I will always support them whether or not it is their personal decision. But I do know they were closeted not by their own choice and I do believe they have every intention to come out in the future.

My take is Lucky Again foreshadows a coming out. Louis wants to be out one day, both him and harry. The standing info we got is Louis was supposed to be out of certain contract agreements with the old label in 2020 but it got put aside because of the months of pandemic. My belief is he was ready to shed that weight and look forward to a freer life with harry but because of these delays they had to mash brakes leaving harry open for Jeff/Sony to take advantage and grab harry into dwd stunt. So lets go.

You give and give until it’s gone away

Louis speaks about fetus days and what he had to give or work at to keep up the lie. He kept giving away parts of himself and his relationship until no more interactions/tweets etc and enemy narrative comes into play. Now louis just wants it all to end so they can live.

Just tell yourself

You got another day

While in the band they were bullied and threatened to act 'appropriately' so they will see 'another day' as a band etc. This was embedded until they started to tell it to themselves. Another day as in you got another day in the band living the life of a star, your dream and it is worth it to put your true self/relationship in the closet.

You’ve lived that life

You just don't see it yet

Louis is saying to him "You did closeting in the band and lived that way where we couldn't do what we wanted so now we have to change things go forward not backward.

I see how hard you’ve worked

To be yourself 

Speaks for itself. Harry worked to get himself out of het norms in every possible way they could without being able to come out ever since "not that important" to e.g Vogue mag cover. Louis doesn't want to see him hide it away again, he wants to be part of it too. He wants to do it too.

If you believe a guy is Superman

There selling tickets at the cinema

Whatever gets you through the darkest night

Superman as in someone who can save you. He is talking about jeff. Harry hired jeff as a way to get out from under syco/ modest who turned their lives upside down. But in reality his only job is to sell harry as a commodity/make him marketable. He only wants to make money off him putting on a show. (goes with mfasr mv.) He is still his manager today and things are not the same as it was in 1D but he is still not able to fully come out. Whatever gets harry through the hard times is fine but....

Just find the light out in the madness. Hold tight.

Light is a recurring theme in both artists' songs (e.g Lights Up and SIBWAW) meaning the thing that keeps them grounded, the thing that shows them for who they really are and not keeping them hidden in the darkness (closet.)

Cos I'm a hard man to lose

Hard for Simon to lose he means. Louis was the only boy who Simon was able to keep as solo artist after hiatus and he had to do xfactor etc for him instead of releasing his album.

But I figured it out

Then made my way back

To a life I would choose

He figured out how to get himself out from under syco shit contract and back to who he is and the life he wants to live which does not include hiding and changing who he is and who he wants.(goes with Walls mv he had to walk through the desert to make his way back.)

We were lucky once

I could be lucky again

What are the odds of being put in a successful band with someone you realize is your soulmate and find out you two are in love and you have no problem being candid to the world about it on twitter and in interviews etc and you had fans calling you one name larry stylinson that's how much they supported you openly and you got that for a moment before they (management) took it away. They were lucky to have had that in the beginning.

I’m a hard man to find

But you figured it out

And I love you for that

Theme of fitf is louis suffered a lot of heartache due to syco contract and closeting and he almost lost who he is. The person he addresses in this song helped bring him back and he is grateful and wants them to stop hiding now.

Look back on a time

I was lucky once

I could be lucky again

Again he says to look back on when they were able to be out and live free before all was lost and he has hope they will be that lucky again when he finally comes out in the future.

Before the world had got so serious

Before the time it got away from us

I meet you at the favourite subway stop

We grab some food

Then meet the lads for one

Before straight washing closeting beards hiatus they could just be together hang out openly in public without having to worry about image etc. Louis wants to look back on that time and be that again.

Hold tight cause I'm a hard man to lose

He is saying I ain't going anywhere this time I am in this for the long haul whatever happens because...

But I figured it out

Out in the madness, hold tight cause I’m a hard man to lose 

Then made my way back

We were lucky once

Could be lucky again

#fitf #larries #lucky again #faith in the future #song analysis #theory

[painterofhorizons]

A Year in Writing: 2022

Writing review for 2020 and 2021.

Since this year won’t magically change, I will wrap up the year in writing two weeks early and not pressure myself to get the number up in the few days off I have between the years.

Total wordcount as of Dec. 19th: roughly 91.500 words, compared to ~200k in the past years. Not even calculating an daily average here and not countings days I have not written because that was the majority. For the time I have tracked, it somewhat looked like this:

while March and May were only roughly estimated.

General review: Or the Good, Bad and Ugly. It wasn’t even writer’s block that hit me this year, but life. The year started okay-ish, but the first half was dominated by a crippling fear about one job ending and only getting the go for our next project’s funding literally only the week my last contract ended (I am so done with academic precariat. So done with that shit.). Then when I started a 7 month project in July to fill up time until our next big project starts, the same day the new job started my dad got in hospital with life threatening illness, so for the following months I was dealing with a new job in a completely different field on full time (from before that working only part time) while being in the hospital and running errands and worrying sick about my dad’s health the whole time (he’s better again now, thank the universe!). Add up the complete and utter madness the current job includes in terms of content (so. much. politics. so. much. absolute. frustration. i. hate. it. so. much. so. so. much.) and having to long distance commute again after 3 years of pandemic and home office, and serve with ADHD and general worldly madness, and my brain is in survival mode ever since. There’s just no brain capacity left for anything at the end of the day. So i basically gave up on writing, knowing my brain just can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being hard on myself, quite the contrary - I know why I can’t write or draw or whatever else I would want to do normally, and I know it will come back. I am giving myself permission to not even try to write. This ain’t writer’s block. This is just fucking life.

On the good end: I was surprised about the number of the yearly tracking being close to 100k nevertheless. And I did manage to treat myself to two or three saturday morning writing breakfasts in that fancy cafe closeby within the past few months nevertheless and did some writing by hand in a fancy notebook I bought AND started to use. So it’s not like NO writing happened. And with my current project being almost close to end (only until mid Feb and then I’m back on a 3 year project in my actual field of profession and on less hours again) I am very hopefull that my brain will be back soon(er or later).

On the very good end: My absolute highlight this year was meeting @comeoniwantacoolname​. It was this year, wasn’t it? Or was it last? When did you appear? Anyways, I am so so so grateful we met (thank you, Jeff Moreau fanfiction!), it has been a delight to meet you, to brainstorm fic with you and to read your wonderful writing. Thank you for migrating here and being a lighthouse of joy in this troubled year for me. I can’t wait to visit Venice with you and eat all the food.

Things posted: None on the edited end, but a few WIPs over here I think. Maybe. But that might also have been last year, because I have no sense of time anymore and no grip on the concept that is time. What is time. I don’t know.

Things I would like to do next year: Write. Literally. Anything. I want to be myself again, i want my hobbies back, I want my creativity back, I want my brain back, and while I know the legit reasons why this year sucked, I could cry just thinking about it. I want to be myself again, and I want to fucking write.

So in the end, this wasn’t my year writing wise, and it was fucking exhausting. But the circumstances will change again in a foreseable future and I am looking forward to get back to a more better normal again soon-ish.

With this year being rough-ish, I am especially grateful for each and every one of you here for making this place a safe space of escape and joy and creativity and for making me feel like I can still take part in this wonderful Mass Effect fandom even if I don’t create anything and have no spoons for reading your amazing stories rn (and with all you folks I met through different fandoms and have zero idea of what you’re into these days but very much still appreciate you being around <3). Thank you folks for being you and for making this place a safe haven in these troubled times.

May 2023 be gentle on all of us.

#painterofhorizons writes

[bomnun]

but before i log out again my paranoid/pessimist brain has some more thoughts i want to share. this is based on severe overthinking, a lot of guessing, and i could be (and hope i am) wrong about everything. if anyone has any thoughts please share, because i feel like i’m going a little bit insane.

1. im pretty sure the reason cube sends pitigi to all this random festivals is so no one tries to terminate their contract early clc style, because blue box can argue that they as a company fulfilled their part and supported them throughout the entire 7 years career. performing at festivals is part of being musicians, right?! who cares that we’re letting thousands of songs rot in the vault?!

its easy for them, they probably often dont even organize transportation, they dont need to hold any of the responsibilities if they were touring. the company can just rake in some cash while pitigi rearrange their songs and choreographies for whatever the lineup of the month is and, like, the members, the closest stylists, managers and festival staff do all the work while the company can save money. (bp and bg had cashgrab tours why couldnt we get one!!!!!! i know its because the company is lazy and budgets in their own way but its still pissing me off)

2. how is it not...illegal...or at least frowned upon for them to just straight up lie and shittalk the group?

obviously success is relative and depends on what you consider most important, but, yet again, if we’re talking overall success and stability, late 2020-2021 was pitigi’s strongest era. the fanbase was the biggest, the highest total album sales were achieved, they did good (for a bg that debuted after 2015) on kcharts... but cube’s just going to pretend nothing notable happened after 2018 now, and get away with it? actually, since cube is so into album sales without realizing that semi-frequent comebacks are a necessity for keeping a fandom alive, i’m just going to throw out the fact that the most recent album, in:vite u, had their highest first week sales ever, thus highest preorders and biggest fandom size willing to preorder.

i don’t doubt that hui honestly feels invisible or rejected, but are we really going to let cube get away with acting like thats the natural cycle of the industry, and not a very deliberate decision on their part? the company is the only reason there was no comeback when the fandom was at its biggest ever in the summer of 2021. the company forced them to release feelin like agaisnt their will, made them promote it at the worst time in a really rushed, weird way, and then act like “oh, their time is just past them”. they even passed the company’s stupid test of getting a music show win when all music shows are canceled, so for months they worked so hard (links to a video compiling moments they teased AND CUBE ANNOUNCED a second ptg comeback in 2022) on a comeback it now feels like we’ll never hear. the members did their part in preparing the songs, seemingly the concept too, but when it’s time for the company to do something they cancel it for...an mnet survival show?

to me this feels like deliberate attempts at sabotaging their future career prospects out of the company, and, while i’ve seen other companies do it before, these pure lies being spoonfed to everyone anhd just being eaten up really amazes me. how can they get away with that?

3. re:invisibility and rejection. it’s clearly not to the point where they can’t come back, no matter what people say, they’re working with their usual producers, the feelin like choreo team (auspicious) worked with them when they did worse, and work with smaller artists, sane for stylists. music video directors seem to care more about how much they get paid than fame of the artists. it feels silly to even mention this because in the past 3-4 years of their career ptg have always been near the end on music shows; they’re clearly seen as a bigger name there. they’ve also kept going to random non-comeback related variety shows, like three special weekly idol episodes in 2022, random dingo shows, some new variety show that’ll air this month or next, a lot of radio shows big and small, singing shows of different scales, brand ambassadorships. none of this is huge, but, tbh, they’ve never been on the biggest variety shows anyway, so why would that be an obstacle this time? they were the 7th most booked idol group of 2022 and attended big end of year shows too... seriously... it’s not like they’re only doing random gigs here and there that anyone could be booked for.

4. this is very heavy guessing i could be even more wrong about than anything ive written above. we all know hui was super rushed into boys planet, auditioning a week after coming back (and if we’re humoring more of my shots in the dark, the idea could have been introduced about 3-4 days after him coming back), and from the way he talks on that show + one of his vlives, it sounds like the company really has been lying to him too, making him think all fans have left, and, yeah, sns interactions have gone down (because feelin like didnt attract new fans, some old fans went inactive bc they dislike it, and now its been a year since) i dont remember his exact phrasing, but hui went, like “thank you all for still being here and commenting and clicking the hearts”, and i remember him almost sounding surprised... but what i was going to say was that i wonder if they made him audition with him/the members still thinking they’d let the group come back if he achieved a satisfactory result. i’m basing this on hui’s “rather thank rank, it’s about proving” bio, choosing “just do it yo!!” as his favorite song, and shinwon saying every member’s decision was made “because we love pentagon so much” (30 dec 2022), as well as jinho in his seasons greetings message saying “in 2023, we’ll do what we couldn’t in 2022″ (november 2022, but likely to be after the boys planet participation was decided), shinwon and kino both saying pentagon will come back in 2023 (30 december 2022) and kino on his birthday asking universe to look out for pentagon in 2023 too (27 january 2023). however, based on yuto’s recent instagram live, it sounds as if the boys planet thing is just a hui thing, and like there are few group schedules planned in the future (imo, looking at it pessimistically), (11 february 2023). this makes me think that the company might have initially said they’ll just postpone the comeback, but now, maybe after the reception of their well-crafted mnet script, they’ve decided to cancel it for real. i also wonder if we’ll actually get any serious japanese promo, like CUBE ANNOUNCED (again!) was the plan for 2023, or just a random snow show. (i’ll take it though).

this is barely coherent, but i really just feel so angry, sad, and tired for them. is one stinky mnet survival show really this much more important than 10 years of the lives of, and the future livelihoods of 9 people, who weren’t even doing that badly for themselves, but now everyone will think they did...

#t says #sorry dsfhfdkjs #rant #oh and yanans nine hearts on his latest weibo post are 100% a pentagon referencfe #ugh!!! i have so much to say about what theyve done to yanan specificallly too #another post...

[usafphantom2]

NAVAIR progresses in converting E-3D former RAF to U.S. Navy E-6B

Fernando Valduga By Fernando Valduga 11/10/2022 - 11:00m in Military

The U.S. Naval Air Systems Command (NAVAIR) provided an update on the progress made in converting a former British Royal Air Force (RAF) Boeing E-3D Sentry AEW1 into an E-6B Mercury flight coach for the U.S. Navy.

The aircraft (former RAF "ZH104") will have its external structure modified to resemble an E-6, while the air refueling probe and the radar dome will be removed, as they are not necessary. However, it will keep the receptacle for refueling with the U.S. Air Force (USAF) spear system, which will still be a requirement.

Once maintenance and modifications are completed, flight tests are scheduled to begin in early 2024. The aircraft will help reduce about 600 flight hours and 2,400 landings/cycles per year of the E-6 missionary aircraft. After retirement by the RAF, the aircraft had been stored at Northrop Grumman's Lake Charles Maintenance and Modification Center at Lake Charles Airport, Louisiana, since January 2020. It was purchased by the U.S. Navy under a contract signed on June 30, 2021.

The other three remaining Sentry aircraft were donated to the Chilean Air Force (FACh), of which two will be operational aircraft and the third will be used as a source of spare parts.

The E-6B is a communications relay aircraft and a strategic air command post. It provides reliable command, control and air communications ?? and durable ?? between the National Command Authority (NCA) and the strategic and non-strategic forces of the US.

US Navy E-6B Mercury Aircraft.

Currently, all training flights of initial and recurring E-6B pilots use E-6B mission aircraft. This means significant unnecessary wear on operational aircraft and impacts on the readiness and availability of the E-6B. It also increases the time required to train crews qualified for the E-6B mission.

The first E-6B aircraft was accepted in December 1997 and the E-6B assumed its dual operational mission in October 1998. The E-6 fleet was completely modified to the E-6B configuration in 2003.

Tags: Military AviationE-3 SentryE-6B MercuryNAVAIRUSN - United States Navy/USA Navy

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Fernando Valduga

Fernando Valduga

Aviation photographer and pilot since 1992, he has participated in several events and air operations, such as Cruzex, AirVenture, Dayton Airshow and FIDAE. It has works published in specialized aviation magazines in Brazil and abroad. Uses Canon equipment during his photographic work in the world of aviation.

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[mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa]

Where did that financial spreadsheet in Korean come from?

So the last contract they signed with Hybe was prior to the MOTS7 release and tour that never was? This was pre-Grammys right? I feel like while they were highly successful and global stars at that point once the pandemic hit their stardom took another stratospheric leap when Dynamite and Butter came out and garnered them two back to back Grammy nominations. That along with what happened to Hybe stock when the Festa 2022 video came out and they announced their solo project/slight hiatus phase, I feel like they could have negotiated for way more than they prob did for this contract they are now in. While they are well off they are not nearly as wealthy as Hybe is. Hybe has made billions off of them while they themselves have only made millions. And Hybe is still using them to spawn other K-pop bands to try and keep the talent and future income stream coming in.

I wonder if BTS is being made to work more during this hiatus period than they thought and also not get the support they need to properly launch their solo efforts. I heard JK say in the Festa that some of the producers don’t have time for him.

Do you think it’s in their best interest to stay with Hybe? Do you think they are even interested anymore in staying together as a band? Or are they headed for disbandment no matter what they said during Festa 2022? In a video from a few years back (maybe 2018), Tae says he wants to stay with the members for many years to come and continue to make music with them. Do you think that was just something he said in front of the cameras? Or have things changed so much since then that some of them want out of BTS by now?

WOW 20 questions or what! lol

I'll try my best my best to answer your questions, here we go...

Where did that financial spreadsheet in Korean come from?

It came from a financial analysis who works with HYBE I believe, and was in quite a lot of Korean news reports at the time, in the summer of 2020.

So the last contract they signed with Hybe was prior to the MOTS7 release and tour that never was? This was pre-Grammys right?

Yes. They signed their new contract with BigHit (now HYBE) in the Spring of 2018. However, they didn't first go to the Grammys until Spring 2020, two years later.

I feel like they could have negotiated for way more than they prob did for this contract they are now in. HYBE has made billions off them. HYBE is still using them to spawn other K-pop bands to try and keep the talent and future income stream coming in. (BTW Edited down for key parts...)

Firstly, let's get this out of the way, BigHit/HYBE are a very generous K-Pop company to it's artist, unlike many other companies, they don't make trainee pay back their training and they also start paying them immediately after they've debut. Many companies don't do this, and often idol are in debt for years after disbandment.

Secondly, the profit sharing with HYBE and BTS is quite generous for a K-Pop entertainment company. This is a comparison of the big 4 companies and what they do with when dividing profits with their artists:

SM ENTERTAINMENT Contract years: 7 years Physical sales: Agency (95%), Artist (5%) (If there were £20m profit, NCT would get £1m) Physical sales renewed: Agency (90%), Artist (10%) (If there were £20m profit, NCT would get £2m) Events: Agency (60%), Artist (40%) (If there were £20m profit, NCT would get £8m) Overseas promotions: Agency (30%), Artist (70%) (If there were £20m profit, NCT would get £14m)

JYP ENTERTAINMENT Contract years: 7 years Physical sales: Agency (50%), Artist (50%) Physical sales renewed: Agency (30%), Artist (70%) Events: Agency (60%), Artist (40%) Overseas promotions: Agency (50%), Artist (50%)

YG ENTERTAINMENT Contract years: 7 years Physical sales: Agency (50%), Artist (50%) Physical sales renewed: Agency (30%), Artist (70%) Events: Agency (40%), Artist (60%) Overseas promotions: Agency (50%), Artist (50%)

BIG HIT ENTERTAINMENT Contract years: 7 years Physical sales: Agency (50%), Artist (50%) (if there was £20m profit BTS would get £10m) Physical sales renewed: Agency (30%), Artist (70%) (If there were £20m profit, BTS would get £14m) Events: Agency (50%), Artist (50%) (if there was £20m profit BTS would get £10m) Overseas promotions: Agency (30%), Artist (70%)(If there were £20m profit, BTS would get £14m)

This purely on sales from albums, merch and concerts, it doesn't factor in copyright royalties for songwriting or even ownership of master tapes (though it's likely that BigHit own these rights outright).

Also remember the company will usually put up all the upfront cost for producing and distributing albums, merch, comebacks and tours. Some companies, make the artist pay for some of these costs, HYBE does not, so isn't right that HYBE recoup some if not all of that cost?

Also, as shareholders of the company, BTS would benefit from the dividend payments.

Also, those profit share percentages were from the original contract, we don't know what they renegotiated in 2018. Though I'd imagine it would have been a slightly higher percentage of the profits.

Regarding, forcing them to do work on Butter etc, I think it's complex...

The Grammys was a goal of course, but I also got the feel they wanted out of their contract with Sony Music after the crap way the promoed BE album in the US. My understanding of the contract is that Sony/HYBE had a yearly rolling contract, not it wouldn't surprise me if we learnt that perhaps the contract had a clause in it that meant that BTS had to fulfil some obligation (i.e. a certain number of songs/album each year) before ending the contract, and that's why they were forced to do Butter (with a co-writing credit from CEO of the US label) and PTD.

I felt that My Universe was a more favoured song by BTS, especially considering it was release on a different label.

That's how I saw it, anyway.

I wonder if BTS is being made to work more during this hiatus period than they thought and also not get the support they need to properly launch their solo efforts.

I think they worked as hard as they had in previous years. Remember, RM really felt that it was Butter and PTD that was the issue, so we could say that last year was the problem year, particularly between January and September.

I heard JK say in the Festa that some of the producers don’t have time for him.

Remember, up until 2019, BTS had access to a handful of producers to create their content, with all the new groups it's likely that those producers would

Do you think it’s in their best interest to stay with Hybe?

I think they'll set up their own label in partnership with HYBE, which would allow them more freedom and control.

Do you think they are even interested anymore in staying together as a band?

Yes, maybe more so, they just need to find themselves musically to make better music as a group.

Or are they headed for disbandment no matter what they said during Festa 2022?

No, I don't think so. I think we'll see them sort of become the Coldplay of K-Pop, they'll release an album roughly every 5 years and do a tour, then go back to solo work.

I do think though as they hit their 40s/50s, that could change. I think the pandemic has changed things and brought them closer than ever.

Back in 2018 it could have felt like they had to get on with it just to see out their contract, but now they way they're talking I don't think they'll disband. I think we'll see more independent work from them.

Also remember, BTS don't tend to lie, they might embellish a little where possible, but always speak their truth.

In a video from a few years back (maybe 2018), Tae says he wants to stay with the members for many years to come and continue to make music with them. Do you think that was just something he said in front of the cameras?

No, I think between their contract resigning and now, I think they've got closer by being apart (they've not lived together since 2019 despite what they say), and dealing with the pandemic and what it did to their careers. So I believe him when he says that.

Or have things changed so much since then that some of them want out of BTS by now?

No, but I do think Hobi, Suga and Tae if I'm being honest wanted to do more than just be a part of BTS. Other idols do it, have solo careers and then comeback to the band up until the member have had solo albums where they can make lots of money from or opportunities to solo tours/concerts. They're doing that now and by 2024 they'll be back together, most like with a contract renewal.

Remember, BTS it good for HYBE, they do whatever it takes to keep.

#my asks #bts #hybe

[f1]

Daniel Ricciardo gets a job offer from Matchbox Twenty after they see him singing one of their hits

Freshly sacked McLaren star Daniel Ricciardo gets a job offer from superstar band Matchbox Twenty after they see him belting out one of their hits  Daniel Ricciardo offered job by Matchbox Twenty after posting car karaoke clip  The Aussie Formula One star has been recently sacked by McLaren  Fans on social media were quick to point out that Ricciardo needs a job By James Cooney For Daily Mail Australia Published: 20:56 EDT, 24 August 2022 | Updated: 20:56 EDT, 24 August 2022 Aussie Formula 1 driver Daniel Ricciardo will leave McLaren a year early after mutually agreeing to terminate his contract at the end of this season - but he may have scored a gig with rock band Matchbox Twenty. The eight-time grand prix winner was on holiday in the US when he filmed himself driving and singing along to one of the American stars' biggest hits. In clip, the 33-year-old Aussie belts out his best version of the band's smash 1997 single '3AM' as he cruises down a freeway. Aussie Formula 1 driver Daniel Ricciardo recorded himself singing along to Matchbox Twenty while on holidays in the US The Aussie star (pictured) has been recently sacked by McLaren and his future plans are still unclear - but he might have a lifeline in the music industry The clip didn't escape the notice of the band, who took to social media to let him know they were impressed. 'If you're ever looking for a side gig outside of @F1 let us know @danielricciardo!' the band wrote on Twitter. Fans were quick to chime in, noting that Ricciardo might be looking for a new line of work in light of his recent sacking. 'He'll definitely need it next year,' wrote one. 'He's actually looking for a main gig now! Hopefully y'all sign him!' joked another. 'As a roadie,' said a third commenter. American rock band Matchbox Twenty (pictured above) saw footage of Ricciardo singing their hit song 3AM and offered him a job The Aussie actually has some experience in the music industry after scoring a guest appearance on a Gang Of Youths album playing drums and backing vocals in 2020. Ricciardo has endured a horror two-season stint with McLaren in which he struggled to find form and was frequently outperformed by his British teammate Lando Norris. The Aussie has struggled for form during his two-season stint, being markedly outperformed by his less experienced team-mate Lando Norris in qualifying and trailing him by 57 points after 13 races this year.   With Ricciardo's departure now confirmed, 21-year-old Formula Two champion Oscar Piastri is expected to take his fellow Australian's place. Ricciardo was under contract until the end of 2023 and only last month insisted he was 'committed to McLaren until the end of next year'.  He could be set for a payout in the region of $24million, taking into account his massive salary and performance bonuses. 'It's been a privilege to be a part of the McLaren Racing family for the last two seasons but following several months of discussions with Zak & Andreas we have decided to terminate my contract with the team early and agree to mutually part ways at the end of this season,' Ricciardo said in an official statement. Ricciardo's midseason break ends this weekend as he suits up for the Belgian Grand Prix - his first race since the news of his split with McLaren broke 'I'll be announcing my own future plans in due course but regardless of what this next chapter brings, I have no regrets and am proud of the effort and work I gave McLaren, especially the win in Monza, last season. 'I've enjoyed working with everyone at McLaren both trackside and back in Woking and will be giving my all on and off track as we enjoy the remainder of the season together. 'I've never been more motivated to compete and be a part of a sport that I love so much and look forward to what comes next.' Advertisement Share or comment on this article: Daniel Ricciardo gets a job offer from Matchbox Twenty after they see him singing one of their hits via Formula One | Mail Online https://www.dailymail.co.uk?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490

#F1 #Daniel Ricciardo gets a job offer from Matchbox Twenty after they see him singing one of their hits #Formula 1

[spacenutspod]

SpaceX is debuting a new capability on their upcoming 30th cargo resupply mission to the International Space Station. For the first time, a Dragon 2 capsule will lift off atop a Falcon 9 rocket from Space Launch Complex 40 (SLC-40) at Cape Canaveral Space Force Station in Florida. This is possible thanks to the newly constructed crew and cargo access tower at the pad, assembled throughout 2023 in between the onslaught of Falcon 9 launches. CRS-30 is scheduled to lift off on Thursday, March 21 at 4:55 PM EDT (20:55 UTC). The launch weather forecast shows a 90 percent chance of favorable weather on Thursday, dropping to 15 percent on Friday should there be a delay in the launch. SLC-40 now joins Launch Complex 39A (LC-39A) as the second crew-capable launch pad in SpaceX’s arsenal. This gives SpaceX a backup crew site should there be an issue affecting launches at LC-39A, or if another mission requires use of LC-39A at the same time, including future Starship flights from the in-progress launch mount that recently resumed work. It was speculated initially that the crewed Axiom-3 mission in January could be the first flight to use this tower. However, more time was needed after installation of the access arm in early November and a full checkout of the infrastructure. Validation of the emergency egress system, a zip-line escape method for astronauts and crew to move away from the pad in the event of an emergency, was completed at the end of February. Other ground systems were validated during the Falcon launch of the CRS NG-20 mission in January – one of three rides purchased for Northrop Grumman’s Cygnus craft to fill the gap between the retired Antares 230+ and the upcoming Antares 330. Since the tower was only recently built, NASA preferred that a cargo flight be the first to make use of it. CRS-30 therefore forms part of the certification process ahead of the first crewed flight to use the tower. Certification of the tower for NASA crewed missions could be ready in time for the Crew 9 flight, but no decision has yet been made on when a crewed Dragon will fly from SLC-40. See AlsoCRS-30 UpdatesSpaceX Missions SectionNSF StoreClick here to Join L2 SpaceX has launched commercial resupply services (CRS) missions to the International Space Station (ISS) for over eleven years. Its first mission, CRS-1, lifted off in October 2012 carrying Cargo Dragon C103 on what was only the fourth Falcon 9 flight. The contract was initially signed in 2008 for 12 missions and was subsequently extended. SpaceX is currently contracted for a further five missions through CRS-35 in 2026 – though this will almost certainly be extended further. This mission will utilize Cargo Dragon C209, making its fourth flight. The new access arm will be used to perform late-loading of supplies beginning approximately 24 hours before launch. This pad previously hosted Dragon 1 cargo missions between 2010 and 2020 before the upgraded Cargo Dragon 2 was introduced. The new capsule boasts increased payload capacity, autonomous docking to the ISS, and the option of late-loading cargo while vertical using the crew access arm. Installation of the crew access arm on the new tower at SLC-40 in November 2023. (Credit: SpaceX) The booster for this mission, B1080-6, will return to land on the concrete pad at Landing Zone 1 to the south of SLC-40. Dragon is scheduled to dock autonomously to the ISS at the zenith port of the Harmony module on Saturday, March 23 at approximately 7:30 AM EDT (03:30 UTC). Both docking ports will be occupied between this craft and Crew Dragon Endeavour which recently launched Crew 8. After CRS-30 departs the station, Crew 8 will move to the zenith port to make way for the planned Starliner Crewed Flight Test in May. CRS-30 Payloads The more than 6,000 pounds (2.700 kilograms) of payloads onboard Cargo Dragon include food, supplies, and equipment for the crew of the ISS. Riding along are more than 40 science investigations to be conducted on the orbiting laboratory for NASA and its research partners. These include new sensors that will enable the Astrobee free-flying robots to map the environment around them in 3D as a forerunner for wider situational awareness applications. The science onboard also includes a study of plant metabolism in space, the measurement of sea ice and wave heights using reflectometry, and the creation of nanoparticle solar cells to improve solar cell efficiency. The multi-resolution scanning payload prototype is housed within an Astrobee robot at NASA’s Ames Research Center (with the front cover removed). (Credit: CSIRO / NASA) The astronauts aboard the ISS have been accompanied by the cube-shaped Astrobee robots named Honey, Queen, and Bumble since early 2019. These free-flying robots are approximately 32 centimeters wide and are modular so that they can be upgraded, enabling researchers to perform a wide range of experiments inside the Station. Astrobees have recently been involved in experiments such as a grappling demonstration back in January which observed how an Astrobee might propel itself around the Station using its perching arm rather than propellant. This month’s experiment will provide an Astrobee with additional sensors that will enable it to create 3D maps of the interior of the Station as it moves around using a multi-resolution scanner (MRS). Data is combined from multiple sensors, adding redundancy. Stereo vision cameras are complemented by multiple different sensor types that combine to generate accurate trajectory data and high-resolution 3D information. These will also provide deeper insight into how the Astrobee moves around in 3D space.  CSIRO project lead Dr. Marc Elmouttie with the Multi-Resolution Scanning payload, housed within an Astrobee robot. (Credit: CSIRO / NASA) The technology being tested is intended to add automation to a variety of situational awareness scenarios where robots would be able to sense their environment and conduct precise maneuvers in response to it. Potential applications include caretaking on future spacecraft, monitoring and operating the systems with little to no human occupancy – such as on the planned lunar Gateway station, or in autonomous vehicles that might be sent to other celestial bodies. The same technology could enable autonomous inspection or maintenance of spacecraft and it is hoped the experiment will also inform ways to improve robotic explorers that are sent into the harshest environments here on Earth.  The MRS was developed by the Australian Government’s Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Organisation in partnership with Boeing, integrating technology from their mining and robotics teams. The MRS was tested and certified at NASA’s Ames Research Center. Brachypodium and Setaria were grown in the Plant Growth Systems (PGS) and tested under International Space Station environmental conditions using the Veggie units at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center during the APEX-09 Experiment Verification Test. (Credit: NASA) A separate experiment will be observing photosynthesis for future bio-regenerative life support systems. The C4 Photosynthesis in Space Advanced Plant Experiment-09 (APEX-09) experiment will examine how the mechanism of capturing carbon dioxide from the atmosphere in two types of grasses is affected by microgravity and other space flight stressors. Understanding the molecular changes in plants exposed to this environment would lead to a deeper understanding of photosynthesis in space and inform the design of future bio-regenerative support systems. Plants are expected to play a part in longer deep space exploration missions as part of the life support architecture and as a food source. There are a number of CubeSats aboard, including four for NASA’s ELaNa 51 mission and three Canadian satellites. One of the Canadian spacecraft is Killick-1. Using Global Navigation Satellite System reflectometry (GNSS-R), the 2U Killick-1 will measure sea ice and wave height to improve climate models and monitor ocean phenomena. GNSS-R measures satellite signals reflected from the Earth’s surface and will inform our knowledge of climate change, surface winds, and storm surges. Over 100 undergraduate and graduate engineering students at Memorial University in Canada have participated in Killick-1, a Canadian Space Agency project developed by C-CORE. C-CORE is a company specializing in remote sensing and geotechnical engineering solutions. The Killick-1 CubeSat is said to be low-cost, energy-efficient, and light in mass – potentially leading to cheaper solutions that could monitor and collect data on our oceans in the future. Fully assembled Killick-1 CubeSat with its Global Navigation Satellite System Reflectometry (GNSS-R) antenna deployed. (Credit: C-CORE and Memorial University / NASA) An additional science experiment onboard intends to improve solar cell efficiency by precisely arranging nanoparticles in space. The study will review the concentration and interaction of nanoparticles and microparticles within an electrical field in microgravity and how these relate to changes in their shape and charge. NASA has partnered with students in higher education to develop “Nano Particle Haloing Suspension” hardware for this investigation which will use charged nanoparticles to enable precise particle arrangements. The researchers hope that advances can be made in the production of solar cells synthesized with quantum dots – tiny spheres of semiconductor material with the potential to convert sunlight into energy much more efficiently. Inside Dragon’s trunk resides the Pump Module Assembly, which will be kept as a spare on orbit. This piece of equipment, if put into operation, will be used to cool electrical systems on the outside of the Station. After Dragon docks to the ISS, the Canadarm2 robotic arm will be used to remove the assembly from the trunk and place it into its storage location on the outside of the Station. Dragon C209 will spend around a month at the Station before returning to Earth. The capsule will splash down off the coast of Florida, carrying several tons of cargo and experiment results. C209 will be unloaded at Cape Canaveral and refurbished for its next flight. (Lead image: The new access arm connected to Cargo Dragon at SLC-40. Credit: SpaceX)  The post SpaceX’s 30th resupply mission to use new access tower at SLC-40 for the first time appeared first on NASASpaceFlight.com.

#space #astronomy #news #science

[nexthitjcink]

senior spotlight: HWA

We will be starting off our spotlight series with the unofficial queen of NH: HWA. She has been with NH since the beginning and was the focus of much of their early history, so let's get to know her. This was originally going to be...much longer--but to save all some time I've cut it down to just some key highlight moments of Hwa's career. For a look at all of the title tracks the queen has released so far: check out this playlist! They are in chronological order and unless stated otherwise in this post, you can assume they were released at the same time as the IRL release date. Also, I've just listed title tracks, you can freely assume that any b-sides released with title track are included in Hwa's release!

EARLY LIFE & WATERFALL

Yoo EunHwa was born January 12th, 1991 in Seoul, South Korea. Her mother was a popular news anchor, which gave her an introduction to the entertainment industry and living as a public figure. She began singing and writing music early on in her childhood as her father was a notable classical pianist. She has gone on record saying that he "inspired me to take music seriously and wholeheartedly, to commit myself to writing and learning." Her uncle worked as a Senior Director of Marketing at Waterfall Entertainment, where she would become a trainee at the age of 15. She trained for 2 years before releasing her debut EP Lost and Found, and the title track "Lost Child (미아)" on June 23rd, 2008 under the pseudonym Hwa. The song had a dark tone that would seem foreign to future fans of Hwa, but showed her vocal talent and genre versatility. This would be her only release under Waterfall Entertainment as the company would dissolve by the end of the year.

GOOD DAY

After the dissolvement of Waterfall, Hwa was personally offered a contract with the brand new company Next Hit Entertainment by founder and CEO, Nam Dohyun. The two knew each other from Waterfall and had similar mindsets on the creative direction of her music, which had been a main point of contention between her and Waterfall. REAL: her second EP, released October of the same year. It peaked at #2 in Korea, and title track "Good Day" became a national phenomena, debut at #1. On the surprise success of the song Hwa has said in later interviews "everyone at NH, including me, was shocked. In the studio, we tend to focus on making the best songs we can and if people like them, all the better. At the time, I was focusing on my own performance. I think my mom was the one to tell me it was #1. I was never really focused on that part of it." In the same interview, Hwa also revealed that the success of the track allowed for NH to upgrade their headquarters from the one story office space they had been renting, into their own fully-fledge building. "We all (SAGA) owe our success to 'Good Day'" said SAGA's Gigi in a 2020 video marking the song's 10th anniversary.

NATION'S LITTLE SISTER

After cementing herself as a wholesome and girl-next-door idol star with her early work, Hwa was dubbed the "Nation's Little Sister" early on in her career. Her cute concepts and down to earth personality on and off stage has capture the heart not just of her loyal fans, but the Korean general public. She is one of the best selling and most awarded soloists in South Korean history. She often fought against the title, starting with her 2014 album Chat-Shire and the song "twenty three" which detailed the anxieties and pressures of aging into an adult. Two years later in 2016, in her collaboration with G-Dragon, "Palette", she speaks of being much more secure in herself as an adult woman singing "I like it, I'm 25" and "I got this, I'm truly fine." While the public may see her as "the little sister" she has shown herself as a mature and sophisticated artist.

SONGWRITING

Starting with "Alone in the Room" from her 2011 EP Real+ Hwa has been credited written over seventy songs so far in her musical career. With her second album, Last Fantasy in 2011, she took much more creative control over her music. Since Last Fantasy, nearly all of her albums have been mostly written by Hwa herself. In 2018, she won Lyricist of the Year at the Gaon Chart Music Awards. On songwriting she has said that: "its important to me, as an artist that I write my own music. People can say what they want about my singing, performances, or concepts. Those are joys to do and I'm proud of all that I've done in my career. I appreciate all of the hard work that my team does to make sure I look good. But, criticism about my writing I take very seriously. Even almost 15 years since my debut, I'm still learning and growing when it comes writing and producing, and I will continue to grow that muscle.

COLLABORATIONS

After making a name for herself early in her career, Hwa has become a frequent collaborator with a variety of artists. One of her most notable was the title track of her 2015 album, "Palette" and featured G-Dragon. In 2021, she released the track "31", with artist CHEESE. Both songs touch on aging, transitioning from girlhood to womanhood. Other popular collaborations include: SoulMate (ZICO, featuring Crush, 2018), Sing in the Green (with Yerin, 2022)

DATING SCANDAL

Hwa's career remained mainly safe and non-scandalous, until (one day after of the release of her collaboration with Jay Park "Ganadara") Dispatch claimed that her and the rap artist were dating and had been for years. NH immediately denied the claims, but Dispatch released secret photos of the star seemingly with Jay Park at a resort. Two days after the photos were released to the public, Hwa came out with a personal statement denying having ever been a relationship with Park, but confirming that she was in a relationship and that she was engaged. She did not release the name of her fiancé, as he is a private citizen, and asked for fans and "media outlets" to respect their privacy. No other information on when the two plan on getting married has been released. Fans theorize that the lack of music as of recent may be due to her focusing on her family and personal life.

#preview #if u can believe it this is the short version... #me just dumping my favorite stella & iu songs in that playlist I HOPE IT MAKES SENSE