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notnctu · 4 years

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backseat chronicles - n.jm | ridin’ club

━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series

genre ➠ slow burn, smut, fluff, lil angst wordcount ➠ 8.5k details ➠ fem!reader, streetracer!jaemin, badboy!jaemin, college!au ━ where Jaemin brings you to his club races as his arm candy. warnings ➠ explicit language, overstimulation, flirty banter, pet names, softdom!jaemin, car sex, praise kink, hittin it raw (y/n on the pill), oral, daddy kink, slight corruption kink, fingering synopsis ➠ There is no reasonable explanation as to why or how you always end up in the backseat of Na Jaemin’s beloved car. Almost routinely, he picks you up around ten in the evening with the stereo blasting the raunchiest lyrics for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. The entire night remains purely friendly, a dabble of flirtatious comments because well, it’s Jaemin for fuck sakes. But all it takes is one suggestive gaze from his dark, lustful eyes and a drop in his voice that rumbles your core to have you climbing over the seats to get to the back. taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi ; @darkneogotmyback ; @im-lame-irl ; @p-mini ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck ; @saniahmichael ; @jaehy9ngs ; @danyxthirstae01 ; @jaehyunoos ; @pikijaemin ; @suhweo ; @yunoyeol ; @lanadreamie ; @ta3ilmoon ;

a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! thank you for over 1k notes on this series, im beyond impressed by the amount of attention this got! it really blew up and its so crazy!! i wrote this one with more of a romantic plotline i realized its too hard to keep it pwp with all the story building and characterization i have :)) it’s almost over yall! pls pls leave me feedback im sorry it took so long to write ):

While college lecture rooms are too big to interact with other students, discussion classes are there to ease the difficulty. A classroom for about twenty students from a three hundred person lecture. It’s administered by a clueless TA, who barely began his second term in graduate school.

Unlike lecture, attendance is mandatory for participation points. You show up every time without a fail, so it came as a shock to you when a certain blue haired student finally appeared from the list of absent students.

Na Jaemin. The notorious playboy with looks that kill and partakes in some illegal racing club. It’s as if every person in the room fawns over his aura, Jaemin drips with an inexplicable alluring confidence. You didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he never shows up for class and rumors about how he’s slept with the entire cheer squad.

But he’s drawn to you like a magnet: always sitting in the available spot next to you, asking about your day before the TA arrives, developing an odd staring problem. You don’t feed much into his attention, minding your own business when he starts with his notably flirtatious greeting.

“You just take my breath away, (Y/N).” Jaemin cocks back in his seat with legs stretched wide in an overly comfortable manner. The smug smirk on his face cannot be ignored, he’s doing the absolute most to get you to pay the smallest attention to him.

“I didn’t do anything in particular to do that, Jaemin.” You respond bitterly, pulling out your notes for today’s discussion class. The TA enjoys wasting the first twenty minutes going over the past lecture slides and running through the most obvious topics.

You pay no mind to Jaemin peering over at you with the single handedly most dreamy eyes and smile --- stars shining in his dark orbs and a dazzling twinkle in his wide toothy grin.

“That’s why you’re so amazing. You do nothing and it still leaves me breathless.” His sneaky eyes examine your clothing choice for the long day. On this warm afternoon, the short tank top does nothing to hide much of your skin and the denim shorts that ride up a little too well drive Jaemin insane. And when you cross your legs together, he swallows the spit that pools in the back of his throat.

Your ears catch onto the murmurs of the rest of the class, the midterm is next week. The wretched midterm that is half of your grade dooms you, it is going to take an endless amount of completely undistracted dedicated hours of study--- “On a more serious note, can you help me with this class?”

His voice shatters your inner panic, if anything, adds to the stress that already beats down on your shoulders. You look up to glare at him, but you’re entirely taken aback by the new styling of his hair and the exposure of his tattoos.

The sweet blue cotton candied strands are ruffled lazily above his brows, messy from him constantly running his hand through them. Jaemin sits relaxed in gray sweatpants that are extremely baggy on his slender figure, hands are shoved casually into the pockets.

But what has you staring for longer is the long sleeve of tattoos that wrap around his left arm. Not that you’re surprised that Jaemin has tattoos, let alone a whole sleeve, but this is your first time seeing it as this is the first time he’s come to class without his leather jacket on. Something about the intricate lines and shadowing make Jaemin seem much cooler, almost more attractive.

When you meet his eyes, his lips curl slowly into a sly side smile and he’s practically eating you up under his gaze. He definitely knew that you were staring and what comes next out of his mouth will haunt you for it. “Like what you see, beautiful?”

“I don’t have the time to help you.” The best way out of this situation is to simply ignore it. Jaemin is overly adored and admired by many, he’ll find someone else to help him.

“Jaemin, do you want to study together?” There you go, folks. The random girl snickers with her small huddle of friends in the upper corner of the room, like a crowd of crows, they’re all waiting around for Jaemin to accept her offer so he can be easily integrated into their little group.

However, you watch how his glances bounce between you and her. The most sickly sweet, kind smile is almost too fake to consider it to be genuine. His final choice surprises you, “thank you for offering, but I only want (Y/N)...”

Your breath hitches and gets caught in your throat as you hope for him to finish his sentence, the drumming of your heart distracting you even more. Jaemin wants you? While the thought is flattering, it puzzles you greatly.

“... to help me with my studies.” Jaemin finishes his sentence after a rather long pause, his eyes finally resting upon your figure shying away and finding any way to seem uninterested in the conversation. “Is that going to be okay, (Y/N)?”

“What do I get out of it?” You can’t believe that you are actually considering it. But this is a man that only wants you to help him. Jaemin is an impossible, yet charming man and whatever comfortable attire he is wearing today is really aiding in his request.

He lights up, ears perked up and eyes attentive. His hands fold together on the empty desk, leaning forward towards you. “Dates with me.”

Rolling your eyes, you groan slightly at the arrogant answer. “I don’t care about that. I want something that benefits me.”

“I’ll make sure you’re well fed.” There is a tiny plea in his tone, a remarkable shift from his cool aura. “What do you want? I’ll give it to you.”

“I guess I can’t turn down free food…” there is a hang in your sentence as you contemplate what chaos you’re about to dive into and what life changes are about to be explored with Jaemin.

“Before you agree,” Jaemin chuckles, “there’s one more thing I’d like you to do for me.”

You’re quick to shoot a daggering glare at the overly enthusiastic boy, “why do I suddenly owe you favors?”

“Because I say so.” He deadpans, a chill running down your spine at the deep dip in his octave. The playfulness that was present all this time suddenly vanished, a serious look that intimidates you, but sexy enough to where it erupts something in your core. He blinks at you with dark clouded eyes and you nervously anticipate what he is going to ask next of you.

“Accompany me to my races.” He speaks lowly as if he’s afraid of someone else eavesdropping in the conversation.

Here’s your issue with that request: you’ve never really been part of that scene. You’ve lived pretty mundanely, even in college. It’s simple, you like to stay within the boundaries of what you enjoy to do and what you have to do. But you’re always open minded and willing to try something to determine whether or not you’re fond of it.

Partying and drinking copious amounts of alcohol weren’t your favorite things to do, especially to the point of forgetting your nights. You wanted to remember your nights as much as you do your days. The youth isn’t here for long, why waste them by blacking out in the middle of a large party? Also, whoever said that alcohol goes down smooth is a blatant liar.

Illegal racing could possibly be an extension of people who participate in those things, which is fine, but does place a crippling fear of coming off too boring or unrelatable inside your nervous system. But just because you don’t do those things doesn’t mean that you’re not as cool, right?

Since when was your status based nonsensically on how often you spend your nights in socializing crowds full of sweaty bodies and how much cheap booze you can drink? It had to be all in your head --- you’re just dreading any awkward socializing with people who race cars when it’s absolutely illegal.

“Why me?” It’s a genuine answer, possibly stemming from your insecurities of not being on the same level of charm as Jaemin exudes. You’re not a fool, you’re well aware of the many different people he comes across on campus so, why you?

Jaemin doesn’t hesitate to answer, “why not you? You’re just my type. Hot and smart. Cute and a little shy. The greatest duality, if you ask me.” His words seem so genuine that it has you believing these things about yourself as well.

Nonetheless, you’re taken aback by his observations and his choice of descriptions. “We’ve barely ever talked. How can you say these things so confidently about me?”

Jaemin slightly pulls your chair closer to his own and you yelp in response to the sudden movement and lack of space that separates the two of you. He leans into you, breath hot on your skin and obvious eyes darting between your shocked ones and pretty lips.

“So let’s get to know each other. I can already tell that it’ll just make me fall for you even more.” His finger lightly traces your jaw, stopping at your chin to give it a small lift to meet his focus. Jaemin loves how you squirm underneath his intensity, you’re too cute to let go. “Plus, my boys will love you. I’m sure of it.”

The TA rushes in quickly and is utterly distressed from the traffic that had pushed back his schedule. “Sorry, I’m late everyone.” He rummages through his things to find his notes, but groans to see that the monitor of the computer is off. It’s going to take him another ten minutes to input all his credentials.

But your attention doesn’t stray from Jaemin, especially with his delicate touch at the bottom of your chin. His gentle smile enacts nothing but a soft love, and a peak of interest. Na Jaemin, the one and only. He’s like an adventure waiting to be explored, an open bottle of fun for you to take a sip.

“What would I have to do?” Your voice comes out shaky.

“Just be there as your pretty self.” Jaemin comes off as the type to always have women around him, “you’ll be my lucky charm. For some reason, I always feel better around you.”

The escalation of this conversation is possibly more action you’ve had to handle in the last two years. Jaemin drops your chin and falls back into his own seat with his arms crossed. He is about to turn your life upside down and whether that be a good or bad thing, you don’t mind. You’re excited for the new thrills that come with being by Na Jaemin’s side.

Jaemin’s hot hands lift your shirt quickly, throwing it towards the front seat of his car. His lips return to your soft neck, nibbling at your skin tenderly and with love bites that will remind you of his gentle touches. The streetlamps outside flicker impatiently as you feel the eagerness soaking your panties and he lifts you up to take them off.

“My sweet girl,” his voice is light and airy that it becomes almost lost in the heat of the car. “You’re excited tonight. Did you miss me?” The devilish smirk can be felt upon your collarbones.

“Yes, I haven’t seen you for almost five days.” A peculiar whine settles in your pout and Jaemin’s low growl sends shivers down your spine. The only barrier are his own tight jeans and your hands are fast at unbuckling his belt. Jaemin relaxes back, forearms resting on your soft thighs and watching the neediness in your expression and the speed of your hands. He smiles to himself seeing you this way, wanting him so badly that you can’t wait to get him out of his jeans.

Throughout the two months that you and Jaemin finally became well acquainted, he’s fallen inexplicably into your trance. His friends made it very clear to you that he doesn’t keep the same girl around for more than a few weeks. But he’s brought you to almost every race so far and despite the initial shock of your appearance after the third time, you didn’t let the passing comments phase you.

Why he hasn’t replaced you is unknown and truthfully, there is no reasonable explanation how you always wind up in the backseat of his car by the end of the night. It’s become part of your routine. Jaemin picks you up around ten in the evening with raunchy lyrics blasting out of his personalized car for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. More often than not, Jaemin has food ready for you to devour and a cozy blanket for your exposed legs.

You’ve learned a bit more about him through your backseat chronicles. Jaemin is possibly one of the only people in your life with a heart bigger than his own body, while also being as carefree as he can. Oddly enough, he cares about you as his friend and as his companion. Not to mention the ridiculous, yet endearing nickname, “Lucky Charm”, that he has coined upon you.

Jaemin has been the best adventure you’ve had in ages. While he takes you on intoxicating thrill rides on the leather of his back seats, every street race has been more than unforgettable. He shares one of the same values as you --- wanting to remember the present. You both know that you’ll remember each other enough for it to transcend into your next lives.

You have him to thank for your youthful experiences, to learn and dive into this new found world of mischief under his care. Jaemin treats you extraordinarily well, he’d never hurt a soul. He showers you in appraisal and carefulness, he’s attentive to your behavior and remembers your favorite things. And he reminds you almost every time you see him that he’s so grateful to have you in his life.

“Have you been touching yourself?” Jaemin’s bold question catches you off guard as it causes your hands to shyly hover over his unzipped jeans. When you glance up at him with soft innocent eyes, as if you’re guilty of a crime and wish to beg for forgiveness, his facial expression is serious and intimidating.

“Continue, baby. You can be honest with me. Daddy isn’t going to punish you if you did.” His tone is sweet and light, but his eyes are dark and piercing. His lips are drawn tightly into a thin line, no curve in sight.

His finger grazes down your cheek gently as he admires your slightly parted lips and the way your eyelashes dance every time you blink. However, his other hand urges you to continue your previous action of getting him out of his restrictive jeans.

You nod, while rubbing his erection through his gray briefs that hug him so tightly. There’s a sharp intake of breath when you pull the waistband of his underwear down and his cock stands against his lower abdomen. “Do you think of me when you do?” His voice gets caught in his throat when you take him in your warm hand.

“Always.” You kiss his jawline and fix your position above his dick. Your slick pussy presses down against his shaft, coating it in your juices and rubbing his tip to your clit for a delicious sensation. Jaemin groans, his gaze dipping between your lower bodies and back to your face.

“My sweet (Y/N) thinks about her daddy fucking her senseless while she touches herself.” Jaemin chuckles darkly, grinding his hips harder against you. There is a shift in the atmosphere as he grips your hips and slowly enters your dripping hole. “That’s cute, baby.”

You hold onto his shoulders as his raw dick fills you to the brim, stretching you out like past nights. Gasps leave your body when he starts pulling all the way out to only have you sink back down. “Daddy, please just fuck me.”

Jaemin picks up his speed, knowing that you have a quiz due at midnight that you scolded him for forgetting earlier. The grip on his shoulders tighten as this man navigates your body all too well. He knows you like the back of his hand, fucking the spot that causes your body to lose control.

One of his favorite sights in the world is the view of your lips parted open with loud whimpers falling effortlessly. Your eyes roll back into your skull as his hips roll deeper into your walls, the tip hitting your sweet spot repeatedly.

“You’re always the best girl for me, aren’t you?” His hand wraps around your neck when you throw your head back, choking you lightly and your walls grip around his shaft. “I know you’re close. Cum on my dick, baby. Be a good girl.”

Jaemin’s tattoos shine under the moonlight when you peer down at him. His hooded eyes are intoxicated by the pure image of your fucked out body and he’s truly in love. “My good girl, come on baby.” He continues to encourage, his other hand giving you a smack on your ass when he drills mercilessly into you.

The familiar bubbling occupy your lower half and the feeling of release unravels all so suddenly. You fall forward, Jaemin lets go of your neck to hold your limp body close to him, your head on his shoulder as your orgasm overtakes you. He grinds his hips into you to prolong your shaking climax, cooing sweet nothings in your ear as his other hand takes a whole handful of ass to squeeze.

He bottoms out, filling you up to the rim to cum deep inside of you. Jaemin moans loudly, his cum spilling all over your walls. You two sit like that until he grows soft, pampering your temples with gentle kisses. Jaemin remembers to take care of you, no matter what.

While you’re in his arms, he reaches for sanitary wipes in the side compartments. He lifts your hips slowly to pull out and you sigh at the emptiness. Gently, he swipes at the dripping cum from your pussy and makes sure that you’re all cleaned up before getting dressed.

“So, you want to tell me why you’ve been MIA for the past five days?” Rolling your eyes, you pull up your panties and fix the last decency of your hair.

“Car meets that are too far for me to take you.” His thumb rubs your chin lovingly and Jaemin’s eyes are so bright and mesmerizing, you find that it’s hard to look him in the eye at times.

“Not because you’ve been hooking up with other girls?” There is a tinge of sarcasm that laces your rhetorical question and though you don’t expect him to give you an actual answer, you take note of his reaction. Jaemin raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat and looking out the window away from you.

“And if I was?” Truthfully, that question hurt you more than your’s hurt him. His hand rests underneath his chin as he patiently waits for your answer. He admires the clear night sky and the rundown abandoned liquor store that stands all by itself.

“What do you want me to say?” Question after question, a stiff tension replaces the sex of the car.

“I’ll take you back now.” Jaemin crawls back to the driver’s seat, completely ignoring your confused figure. He has always been quite like this: going aloof whenever he wants to dodge something. However, it’s been happening more frequently the past times you two have been seeing each other.

The truth is simple, yet entirely complex at the same time. You and Jaemin aren’t dating, despite always going out together and him posessively introducing you to other men. You and Jaemin aren’t dating.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop you from growing feelings for him and you can tell that this happens too often for the attractive boy. He can’t have a fuckbuddy that won’t fall head over heels for him. But who could really blame you? Even if all this time Jaemin was pretending that he cared about you, he still pampers you like a princess; he still tells you he does.

But when it comes to discussion about advancing into something more, he hides and grows silent. This has you wondering, maybe this entire thing to him is all sex? And he can’t love you back the way you do.

No one knows his heart, not even himself. He’s never wanted to complicate his life, it’s always been about two things: racing and having fun. There is no easy way to explain it all, the thoughts that flood his mind and heart, so he chooses every way to ignore it. Overall, he’s genuinely lost. You are one source of stability in his life that he isn’t willing to let go, ever. But just because he won’t let you go, doesn’t mean that you won’t take the chance to leave when you’re fed up with him.

This has him wondering, how far can he push before he pushes you too far?

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just walk.” Tonight is unsettling, it usually doesn’t end like this. Jaemin locks the car doors and turns around to reach for your hand. “Jaemin, open the door.”

“I want you to say that you hate when I sleep with other people.” Jaemin confesses all too wildly as his hand lightly squeezes around your wrist. “And I want you to mean it.” He’s only speaking words of truth that haven’t had the time to process in his own thoughts.

“I hate when you sleep with other people.” And you do mean it. You mean it more than anything you’ve ever said to this man. Jaemin just sighs, bringing your wrist to his lips for a lasting kiss.

“Can I drive you home?” Jaemin asks softly, eyes dipping down to the leather seats and avoiding all need for eye contact.

“Yes, Jaemin.” He pulls you back into the passenger seat and drapes the soft blanket over your exposed legs. “Hopefully, I still have time to take my quiz.”

“Can I come inside?” Jaemin coolly turns his marble wheel to reverse out of the parking space, a hand resting on the shoulder of your seat as he does a double take behind him for any pedestrians, even if you two are far out in the middle of nowhere and there isn’t anyone around; Jaemin knows you have the hots for him when he does that specific move.

“What do you mean? You’ve already cum inside.”

It’s the sound of disappointment as his tongue tsks at you and he flicks lightly at your forehead. He steps on the acceleration, revving the annoying engine that roars throughout the peaceful night. The multicolored lights illuminate around his stereo and at your feet, creating the Rainbow Road right out of Mario Kart.

Jaemin isn’t like the others who pay close attention to the details of his car. His motto goes, “if I like it, I’m going to have it.” Whether or not anything matches goes beyond his worries.

In some ways, his car is a mirror of his own personality --- wild and free, colorful and welcoming. And his skills as a driver? Safe, no matter how far the speedometer goes, Jaemin always makes you feel safe.

“I mean come inside your room for aftercare. You know how much I hate leaving you without a proper cuddle.” He pouts and almost immediately his cute baby tone comes out with his beg. Almost subconsciously, Jaemin lays his right palm open facing up to invite yours in. Almost routinely, you lace your hands to complete his hold. Getting Jaemin to smile has never been easier as his hold grows tighter.

“You can’t stay over tonight though. My housemates are doing some Single Girls Only house event tomorrow and it starts immediately when we wake up.” You laugh as the ridiculous words fill the air.

“And you’re participating in that?” Jaemin mindlessly asks and you’re unable to differentiate his implications from the question. Is he asking because the idea is horrendously nothing you’d like to do or he’s implying that you’re not single?

“Why wouldn’t I?” Sounding rather harsher than intended, Jaemin finally realizes how poorly he had worded his previous question. Yet, a part of him feels disappointment whirling in his chest and a desire to feel wanted by you.

“Doesn’t seem like something you’d like: wallowing in your singleness.” He chuckles, remaining lighthearted and playful.

“I really don’t.” Jaemin brings your knuckles up to his lips for a lingering kiss, his eyes darting quickly on the road ahead now that you’ve entered the metropolitan areas and his speed drops significantly to avoid getting ticketed.

“I’ll come pick you up. Instead of being single tomorrow, you’ll be on a date.” When you turn to examine his facial expression, the serious tension in his jawline and focused eyes alarm you. Your stomach twists into knots and if he couldn't already tell, your palms grow sweaty at his offer.

“That’s such a slap in the face to them.” Pulling your hand away from his, you cross your arms and lean your head against the cold window. “I don’t think I can do that to them.”

“I have a race tomorrow.” He starts, his head tilting over at you with his round gorgeous begging eyes, “at least, come to that with me.”

“Okay, but only because I want to see Haechan.” As if it wasn’t moments ago, Jaemin was the one balls deep in you and now you’re spewing enthusiasm for another man. It’s all a joke, a way for you to conceal your undying attraction for Jaemin.

You still remember the first time you met the sunshine that is Haechan and the jealousy that seeped from Jaemin’s words when he noticed the exchange of flirtation. Haechan is someone you’d knowingly gravitate towards: a man with a loud personality that just knows how to conduct every personality in the room. And at that moment, Jaemin couldn’t tell if being more observant was a good or bad thing.

Jaemin never saw himself as outgoing as his other friends, staying more kept in his own circle, but he had the confidence to fake it. He’s bold, rather impulsive and slightly narcissistic, Jaemin knows how to use his strengths very well.

However, when he saw the soft smirk on Haechan’s face and your shy mannerisms, a small tinge in his chest ignited a died out flame. He didn’t realize it before, but that was the very start of his long tumble of feelings for you.

“Do you say those things to purposefully get me jealous?” Jaemin rests his hand on your thigh, giving it a harsh squeeze. His eyes never leave the road and his tone reverts back to his dominant tone.

“Well, are you jealous?” It’s like you two dance in circles, answer questions with a question does not stop.

And as bratty as your tone is, you don’t expect the quick “yes” that answers back and the smoldering look he gives you briefly before focusing back on the drive.

“Then good.” You huff, ready to hop out of the car after the odd, yet sensual tension. Jaemin pulls up to your house and double parks the car to lean in for a nightly goodbye kiss.

“You’re not coming in?” You try to read his facial expressions, but he hides his emotions too perfectly.

His lips curl into a smile before saying, “I think it’s better I cool off tonight.” And you mindlessly give him a peck, but he holds your face to deepen it. Through the kiss, you can feel the neediness by the way Jaemin shoves his tongue into your mouth. The taste of lust against your palette is difficult to ignore, but your academically responsible mind screams at you about your forgotten quiz.

Your hand lightly taps at his chest and he pulls away, his eyes drinking up your swollen lips. “I have a quiz, Jaemin.”

“I know, sorry. It’s just so easy to get lost in you.” Jaemin kisses your cheek once more before you exit. You smile back at him as his words have grown a strong effect on you lately. Bidding him goodbye, he wishes you sweet dreams as he patiently makes sure you’re fully inside your house.

“Is the music too loud?” Jaemin checks over at your hunched figure in the passenger seat. You’re diligently flipping through your thick textbook, a yellow highlighter in one hand and the other comfortably holding Jaemin’s.

The worst part of college is the never ending midterms that are given at any time. Studying in his car isn’t a rare sight, if anything it is more expected than you not doing anything related to your academics. But Jaemin genuinely doesn’t mind, even being mindful about his own actions to ensure an optimal studying space for you.

He really is an ideal guy. Like his first promise, he keeps you well fed and never once asks you for any monetary pay back. Jaemin adjusts the car temperature before you even step into the vehicle, knowing that you prefer wearing less clothes rather than more. Though he isn’t academically responsible, he still makes the effort to try and understand enough information to pass his classes.

The sole flaw would be the lack of open communication. It’s genuinely difficult for you to read his emotions or intentions. Jaemin always has a dazed look in his eyes whenever he looks at you, and it’s an internal fight about whether or not you’re being delusional.

“Music is fine, honey.” The mindless use of a pet name slips from your lips, but your concentration on neoliberalism and globalization doesn’t allow for you to notice.

Nevertheless, Jaemin catches on immediately to the usage. While he showers you in ridiculous nicknames, you’re not one to do so. “Honey?”

“Yes?” You answer back carelessly, not entirely actively listening to him as you highlight an important concept in your book.

“No, you called me honey.”

Looking up from your page, you blink at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. “I did?”

Jaemin chuckles and finally pulls into the overly crowded parking lot, a whole mass of fanboys cheering at the arrival of his flashy vehicle. Everyone just loves Jaemin.

This familiar scene plays like a reel --- several high beams cast light under the dark sky due to the lack of functioning street lamps, dizzy multicolored cars that blaze the tracks, and the all too distinct smell of musky cologne in the chilly air. Oh, and the wide eye admirable stares when you get out of the car.

“Hi, you’re stunning.” A bold new recruit blinks at you in complete awe and awkwardly clears his throat once he realizes his rash comment.

Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him, then at how you plan on handling the situation. You’re flattered, nonetheless, but know that Jaemin didn’t bring you here to flirt with other men. “Thank you. I hope you enjoy your membership in the Ridin’ Club.”

The gracefulness in your delicate voice has the youthful recruit swooning and subtly giddy as he runs off to join a group of others that have been eying you across the parking lot. Jaemin casually drapes his leather jacket over your exposed shoulders, knowing the temperature change is going to result in you most likely catching a cold and because you never bring a jacket despite his plea.

“The power you hold.” Jaemin winks at you before pulling you into a larger crowd to socialize with more impressionable recruits.

“Ah, so you’re (Y/N)!” The stranger is unrecognizable, but you giggle to acknowledge his confident statement. “We haven’t met before, but Jaemin was talking about you the other night at our motorcycle meet.”

Your eyes light up, as if you’ve unlocked a new fun fact of Na Jaemin. “You drive a motorcycle too?” You’re truly shocked at the talent of this man.

Jaemin snakes his arm around your lower waist to draw you closer to his side. “Yeah, but I can’t fuck you in a motorcycle, can I?”

Before the other men can comment on the obvious sexual tension that Jaemin created, he leans in to whisper into your ear. “Actually, I can, but we’ll save our decency from unwanted exposure.” His hot breath grazes against the shell of your ear and you just know where you two are going to end up tonight.

“Bro, you guys probably fuck in the backseat of his car.” One of them chimes recklessly, punching at each others’ chest playfully as if he made a decent joke.

“Why don’t you stay to find out?” Jaemin retorts and the grip on your hip becomes tighter. You’re too flustered to add much into this odd form of competitive banter, distracted by none other than the way Jaemin keeps glancing over at you with a delicious gleam in his eyes.

“So what? You don’t care about us now?” You’d know that bratty tone from anywhere as Lee Haechan pushes past everyone else to rush over to the both of you.

“Aw, are your feelings hurt?” Jaemin sticks his tongue out at his friend before cordially sharing a handshake with him.

“Just slightly.” Haechan looks over at you with a wide grin and playful eyes, “hello, my pretty girl.”

“Drop the possessives, Haechan.” Jaemin rolls his eyes with an irritable twitch on his lips.

He hates how obviously jealous he gets. It’s something too difficult for himself to control, he’s exhausted his efforts to bite his tongue whenever it comes to other people’s flirtations. The thought of someone else calling you theirs doesn’t sit well with him.

“I understand your jealousy, Jaem. If someone was flirting with (Y/N), I wouldn’t be able to stand it either.” Haechan fixes the falling jacket on your shoulders. “But she can handle herself, I know those pretty lips have a mind of their own.” His gaze drops momentarily, yet obvious enough for you to grow shy at how strong Haechan is coming off tonight.

“Stop trying to corrupt her, that’s my job.” Jaemin playfully pushes at Haechan’s chest and they both break out laughing.

“I haven’t said one thing and you’re both talking about me as if I’m not here.” Your small pout is literally the cutest thing to Jaemin. He physically has to stop himself from planting the sweetest kiss on it.

It’s blatantly clear that you’re hot stuff. You’re the perfect example of a head turner, your captivating aura has its ability to suffocate those around you. However, Jaemin has seen all sides of you, but overall finding you so entirely cute. And oddly enough, Jaemin has a knack for cute things.

“Is that (Y/N) I hear?” Huang Renjun engulfs you in a hug, showing clear affection and doesn’t mind doing so. “How did your project go?”

“It went well. You accomplish a lot when you don’t procrastinate.” Renjun gleams at your statement and if Jaemin is delusional enough, he’d probably mistaken the twinkle in his eyes for infatuation instead of admiration.

“You’re so responsible, why are you messing with Jaemin?” Renjun sighs and though his question is more of a joke, there is some truth behind his words.

Your friendship with his friends differ immensely compared to other girls who have come around. Like Jaemin had said before, his boys were going to like you and they do, a lot. Sometimes making it obvious that you’re too good for him.

Jeno comes up from the side, an unidentifiable bruise on his neck and a new cut on his brow. Lee Jeno being such a rough character, his appearance speaks well about how his day has been.

But when he lays his eyes on you, it’s as if all his pain is replaced with joy and security. “(Y/N)! I haven’t seen you in so long!” The enthusiastic boy rushes over to greet you with a warm smile.

“I’m pretty sure I was here a week ago.” You laugh, but welcome him in your arms for a tender friendly hug and pat his head out of habit.

“It’s been a week?! That’s so long.” Jeno narrows his eyes at Jaemin and flicks his forehead.

“Ow!” Jaemin exclaims while rubbing the pain away. “You act like she doesn’t go to the same school as us and therefore, can see her any time you want to.” The tone in Jaemin’s voice raises some eyebrows as they all exchange glances to each other before bursting into laughter.

“Like your jealous ass would allow for that?” Haechan remarks and Jaemin doesn’t outwardly react. However, Jaemin’s hand is squeezing you so tight that you’re more than certain he’s bothered by the comment.

“Oh, stop it. You all know I’m Team Jaemin. He does have the most wins this past month.” You only know that through Jaemin’s proud boasting, anything else in the racing world is unknown to you.

Jaemin situates you in between his legs as he slightly sits on the hood of his car. His arms wrap around your middle and chin rests on your shoulder. Public display of affection isn’t a problem for him, and you learned much earlier that Jaemin can’t keep his hands off of you.

Renjun scoffs at your whimsical fact, in absolute disbelief. “It hurts more hearing you say it. I’m getting my car upgraded, but once it’s done, I’m going to blaze his ass on the tracks.”

“Are you racing today?” Jeno asks the blue haired fellow that clings onto you like a koala.

“Yeah, against a newbie. Apparently he’s really good, so I’m not too sure I’ll win.” Jaemin mumbles into your hair.

“You say that every time, yet you win!” Renjun crosses his arms, weight shifting to his left leg as he pops his hip out. There is always a sense of competition between anyone with Renjun.

Jaemin perks up behind you and when you turn around in his arms, you’re face to face with a beaming smile. “That’s because I have you.” Eyes lock with yours, he isn’t saying that directed to Renjun. Na Jaemin has you wrapped around his pinky, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach are too hard to ignore.

“Alright, lovebirds. Get in your car and let’s start this shit.” Haechan groans and claps his hands to draw the crowd’s attention. Cupping them around his mouth, he roars into the starry night, “let’s roll!”

During the race, Jaemin’s number one priority is to keep you safe. While you’ve sat in his car for a number of times now, it’s different once the loud bang goes off and he’s hitting 100 mph. Tonight’s track is much more dangerous, with twists and turns that can have the vehicle flying weightlessly if he’s not careful.

“You trust me, right?” Jaemin has both hands on the wheel and the engine rumbling as you both anticipate the start of the race.

Spectators watch on the sidelines as if it’s the ultimate battle, but Jaemin doesn’t pay them much mind. He’s more concerned about you instead. “Of course. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. You’ve proven yourself that you’re an excellent driver, so let’s win this.”

Jaemin smirks at your encouraging words, feeling a warmth spread across his chest. “I’ll tap out any time you want me to, okay?”

You nod and the initial whip of the car is so intense that you didn’t even register the sound off. It’s not your first race, but it’s been awhile since the last one. When you adjust to the pressure, the lanes in front of you cause a slight queasiness in your stomach.

It’s a two lane windy road that wraps around the mountain side and Jaemin happens to be in the outer lane. All it takes is a second of lost control and you two will hit the metal railings that guard the cliff below. Despite your inner panic, Jaemin guides you through the pooling anxiety that leaves you restless.

“(Y/N), look up and out the window. We’re coming up on the cliff side view, I’ve always wanted to bring you here.” Your eyes land on the dazzling glitter that dances on the ripples of the lake. It’s so vast, the moon high up in the sky is reflected on the water below. It’s a romantic scene of melancholy and bliss. Suddenly, you feel at peace in the middle of this high speed race.

“It’s beautiful, Jaem.” You whisper calmly and he’d reach for your hand to hold, but races take too much wheel control. And he’d turn to look at you, but races take too much concentration on the road ahead.

But throughout every obstacle, he hears the gentleness and the solidarity in your cadence in the midst of all the high stress. He, too, feels peace. He feels calm knowing that you’re simply by his side, even in the face of danger. So, he can finally admit to himself… he genuinely developed feelings for you.

Before you know it, you’re thrusted side to side from the sharp turns and the adrenaline kicks in when the other racer catches up right next to Jaemin. “Fuck,” Jaemin curses underneath his breath and steps harshly on the acceleration. “Baby, I’m going to go a bit faster so hold onto something.” He warns and your hand finds the grab handle. It’s neck and neck at this point.

Usually, you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid becoming too overwhelmed by the sights in front of you. Tonight is different, not entirely knowing why, you’re observing every element that circles around the perimeter.

The finish line is up ahead, but there is no sign that the other racer is slowing down. Then, you see it: the fatal mistake that can cost you both of your lives if you didn’t catch it. “Jaemin, watch out!” You yelp when the other car inches dangerously close, your warning allows Jaemin to make a controlled swerve away from a possible hit.

Jaemin shakes his head and tsks at the recklessness. “Now I know why he’s good. It’s foul play.” He blows his bang out of his eyes and casually says, “thank you for warning me. This is why I need you by my side.”

He makes it to the finish line barely before the other, winning the race by half a second. Jaemin brakes smoothly, tire marks scrapping the concrete below, and you both exit the car to celebrate with everyone else.

But before the mass of eager shouting men make their way over to you two, Jaemin hurries to your side to pull you into a steamy, rewarding kiss. The scene is just like the movies; his hand on your lower back and yours on his chest lightly. His lips taste like triumph, like he had won more than just a simple race against a random stranger. He’s won the best person he could ever have.

You two fled the scene after cussing out the other racer. It was a rare sight to see: Jaemin being all bothered and angry, practically fuming after scrambling back into the driver’s seat. However, your mind had mischievous plans of its own and all it took was one look from his hooded eyes for you to announce that you wanted him --- badly.

Back in your usual abandoned parking lot, Jaemin pauses before following you to the back seats. With the engine off and the dead of the night being absolute silent, the tension remains thick around you two. “(Y/N),” Jaemin is about to confess something he never thought he’d admit. He turns to you sitting in the middle seat with just your panties on and a curious look on your face.

His heart burns and despite being so incredibly aroused, he controls his urges enough to be able to say, “I’m into you.”

“I know you’re into me, that’s how we ended up like this in the first place.” You giggle cluelessly to his words, still not understanding the odd shift in mood and intentions. It’s always his unclear, messy intentions.

Though he can’t entirely figure out his puzzle pieces, he has plenty to connect the dots. “I like you. I want to be in a relationship with you and call you my girlfriend.”

You’re stunned. Did Jaemin just confess to you as you sit in your panties ready to fuck? This softness is different from the sides you’ve seen of him. It’s similar to a lost bunny, wandering grasslands to find a purpose. He looks so fragile, one intense stare and he’d crumble. This softness is vulnerability.

“So do it.” The boldness catches him off guard, but switches on the dominance in him. “If you want me, come show it.”

He climbs over the middle console to push you into the leather seats. “Not acting shy anymore, are you?” Practically ripping your shirt off of you, he cups your breast lightly and flicks at your nipples. Your immediate reaction results in a rush of wetness down your core.

“Before I forget,” sitting up, you share a passionate kiss that you’ve held back long enough. You give it every ounce of feeling you have for him. “If it isn’t obvious enough, I like you too.”

“It’s obvious, baby.” Kissing your nose, he wraps a hand around your throat to lightly push you back down. “But hearing you say it out loud makes me happy.” Jaemin smirks, hand still choking you gently and pampering your jawline with soft kisses.

His free hand reaches down into your dripping panties, circling your clit with your wetness. The sensation causes you to whimper for more. “Daddy, give it to me.” You wiggle in his palm, knowing that the nickname is more than effective.

“My sweet (Y/N) wants to get fucked?” Jaemin rolls your underwear off and rids himself of his own bottoms.

“Yes, please.” Through the darkness, his hard dick stands proudly. Jaemin lines himself up as he thrusts into you without another second of hesitation. He waits for you to adjust to his size, his tip barely grazing your sweet spot. “Fuck…”

“You take me so well, my pretty baby.” Jaemin starts moving his hips, slowly at first to build a rhythm. Taking your legs, he presses them into your chest to fuck you at a deeper angle. And you feel him practically in your guts, his cock pumping against your walls deliciously and bumping into your g-spot. “Do you want more of me?”

Your train of thought is in utter shambles and whatever Jaemin is saying to you barely processes. You’re overwhelmed by a pleasure that fills every system, every part of your body. To answer him, you let out an incoherent noise of approval.

Jaemin pulls your hips down while thrusting forward into you, maximizing every inch of his strokes. This single action causes you to scream and grip onto the headrest. “Who knew my sweet girl could be so fucking dirty?” Jaemin chuckles darkly, his cadence dropping several decibels. “When I first met you, I wanted to ruin you.”

All of his filthy words edge you closer to your release as he continues to repeat his previous motion. He holds your hips in place to grind into you, the feeling of his tip rubbing your walls has your eyes rolling back. “Do you want to cum, (Y/N)?”

“Yes!” You yell, the tight ball in your lower abdomen is bound to break any minute. “I want to cum so badly, please.” You beg and moan, the arch in your back lifts you from the seat of the car. Jaemin snaps his hips into you, drilling you quickly to reach your high. And you break. An euphoric cry fills the air as your walls clench around his length. You hear the extra wetness create a slick noise, but Jaemin isn’t done with you yet.

“You wanted to cum so fucking badly. I’ll reward you with one more for being such a good girl for me.” His thumb flicks at your clit and you convulse into spasms from the sensitivity. Your violently shaking legs can’t hold themselves up anymore and Jaemin rests them on his shoulders. He lines kisses along your ankle as the pleasure overtakes you.

“I don’t think I can do it.” You whine, your fingers twisting and toes curling.

“You are going to try, okay baby?” He coos, but it’s most definitely a demand. He sits back on his knees to pick up more speed, fucking endlessly into your swollen pussy and thumb rubbing fast strips against your bud.

“I’m going to snap, Jaem.” You cry, tears rimming your eyes and before you know it, a second wave hits you. Your second orgasm is ruinous and has you squirming around to regain some sense of control.

“Oh fuck, you’re so beautiful.” Jaemin slows down as your walls grip around him again, tighter this time. “I’m going to fill you up with cum,--- watch it drip out of you.” He grunts while releasing into you, his dick twitching and spraying your insides with white.

He pulls out as hot, white cum spills from your pussy. You take this moment to catch your breath and relax your legs. However, Jaemin coats his two fingers and shoves the cum back into you. “Jaemin!” You exclaim at the sudden intrusion.

He curls them into your plushy walls and finger fucks you into another oblivion. “Wait, again?” Your hands wrap around his wrist, but Jaemin moves too fast for you to catch it.

You’re a moaning mess again, louder than before. Jaemin leans down and flicks his tongue against your overstimulated bundle of nerves. Your back arches automatically and a low animalistic scream rises from your throat.

He observes your body lines underneath the moonlight and the last remaining light the broken street lamps have to offer. Your face contours and you’re so far out into ecstasy that you don’t notice how intensely Jaemin watches you lose yourself.

“It feels too good!” With one last thrilling orgasm, you almost pass out and you see small stars of dizziness. He soaks up every last bit of your cathartic reaction and festers a small sense of pride that he can make you feel all this pleasure.

“Such a good girl. You’re beyond impressive, baby.” Jaemin pulls his fingers out to lick them clean and finds some wipes to help you out of your sticky situation.

“Now that you’re my girlfriend, can we cuddle at any time now? Not just as after care.” He peers up at you and the one word enacts a burning warmth to spread across your chest. That is the best nickname he can call you by.

“I think the Singles Girls Only house event is still going on, but after that, yes a million times.” You laugh and wrap your arms around him into a big loving hug.

Jaemin feels right at home. All the long years of living carelessly and wild, he’s finally found someone worth the extra mile. While Jaemin was a thriving adventure to be explored, you were his comfort to run back to.

It is through the intimacy of your backseat chronicles that Jaemin was able to fall deeper for you. You’re his lucky charm, for some reason, he always feels better around you.

#neosmutcollective #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #kpopscape #neothestars #nct scenarios #nct smut #jaemin #nct #jaemin smut #jaemin scenarios #na jaemin #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct dream smut #nct imagines #nct dream series #ridinclub

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jadequeen88 · 3 years

Text

Smart Girls Make Fast Learners

NSFW 18+ ONLY. MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!

My contribution to the BNHarem’s monthly collab. The theme was SEx work. ⛓This piece is a first real deep dive into darker themes and was actually really, really exciting to write. 🖤 A massive thanks to my dear friend @libiraki for beta reading this.

TW: yandere behavior, toxic relationship, degradation, non-con, dub-con, degradation/praise kinks, mind break, oral (M and F receiving), over stim, loss of virginity, mentions of physical violence.

DISCLAIMER: I do not condone this type of relationship. This is a work of fiction and if this happens IRL please get out of the relationship!

There is a very specific type of dread that occurs when you discover that the person you built your world around has been lying to you. Tamaki Amajiki was experiencing this brand of betrayal for the first time in his twenty-one years on a rainy Tuesday in October in the dim lighting of your dorm room. His grip tightened around the open laptop as he stared at glimpses of flesh in the thumbnails of the many, many videos posted to the site. Previous live streams with thousands of views. He gulped down the bile in his throat as he scrolled through the videos. His shock and disgust morphed into a pure rage as he counted up the live streams that you’d had since first kissing him. 12. There had been twelve. Three times a week for the past four weeks.

Those big doe eyes that looked into his eyes as you tentatively licked the tip of his cock for the first time… mere hours later they were rolling in the back of your head as you got off for strangers on the internet. He couldn’t take it. You were his first… everything… he knew that you hadn’t been innocent in your past. The way your tongue expertly wound around his when you first kissed him amongst your plush pillows and goose-down comforter reminded him of the fact. The low violet LED lighting of your bedroom made him feel like the two of you were in your own ethereal world. He could forgive you for not waiting for him as he’d waited for you.

For the past four years, he kept to the shadows. He was there when the football player from freshman year cheated on you with one of your terrible friends (and when it happened the second, third, fourth time). He was there to binge your favorite shows with you (“*insert current guy you were fucking* just doesn’t get it, he’s not into it. I’m so glad I’ve got you to watch it with!”) He bit back the heartache that would wash over him when you’d pet him and coo over him… you didn’t see him as a man. He wanted to bend you over and prove he could fuck your brains out. He KNOWS he’d be perfect for you. But he never rejected the attention. He smiled and accepted whatever crumbs fell from your table. Whether it be helping you study or letting you complain about your shitty friends or your shitty jock boyfriends or your shitty parents… He gave and gave and gave… until that one day, 35 days ago to be exact, a shift in the tide occurred.

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“So why don’t you have a girlfriend, Tama-kun?”

“Wh-wha?”

Tamaki dropped the pencil he’d been using and before he could bend to get it himself, your hand was on his thigh and he was putty in your grasp. You giggled and cooed over him like you always did, but this time you did it while assaulting his mouth and neck with your skilled tongue. This time, for the first time, you made Tamaki feel like a man. Like YOUR man.

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Over the next few weeks, Tamaki had become quite skilled in pleasing a woman. It only took a little guidance to have him sucking at your clit with just the right amount of pressure. He learned on his own how to couple that with his long, delicate fingers twisting and pumping in and out of your slick hole. You’d cling to his silky hair, pulling him closer as a constant stream of praise tumbled from your lips:

“No one has ever made me feel this good.”

“Your fingers are perfect Tama-kun”.

“I love your mouth on me so much, baby.”

The first time you came on his face, Tamaki knew there was a god because he’d found heaven between your thighs.

But that was gone now… ripped away with one mouse click on the night he was going to finally give you his virginity. He had held on to it like it was a treasure. A treasure he’d present to you one day wrapped up in life-long devotion and worship... But Tamaki wasn’t in heaven anymore. He wasn’t going to worship you tonight. For the first time since laying eyes on you, Tamaki wanted to hurt you.

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You turned the shower off and dried yourself. Wiping the condensation from the mirror, you couldn’t help but smile at your reflection. You felt like this was going to be the first time giving your body to someone. Tonight was a redo. You were wiping the slate clean. Your first time would no longer be underneath the football captain in the passenger seat of his truck, left feeling sore and unsatisfied. It was going to be with the guy you should have noticed long ago. It would be soft and slow… passionate and filled with sweet words and caresses… limbs tangled in soft sheets that smell like lavender and vanilla.

You applied your lotion and moisturized your face. The red lace adorning your body was arranged perfectly, accentuating the soft swell of your hips and chest. With one last glance in the mirror and adjustment of your bra, you opened the door to the cool air of your dorm room…

...And saw Tamaki looking murderous.

His eyes slowly left the screen to meet your gaze. His tear-stained face had never looked this harsh. His normally sweet eyes were narrowed and red from crying. The sweet lips you’d licked and sucked with such tenderness were hard and cold as they pulled upward in a grimace.

The only thing he said before rising from the bed and setting aside your laptop was your camgirl username. Then he was on you before you could draw a breath to explain.

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Tamaki always thought he liked you best on top of him showering him with kisses and threading your fingers through his hair, but he had to admit… having your arms tied to a bed frame with the silky sash of your bathrobe cutting into your skin was doing things to him. When you sniffled, face stained with tears and snot, his dick twitched in his boxers. The whines you were choking back behind the silky red panties stuffed down your throat sent chills up his spine. You had to learn the hard way not to spit them out after a harsh slap echoed against your skin when you fought back the first time.

Tamaki stood back to survey the mess of skin, spit, and tears for a moment. You were a blank canvas for him to mark up with his rage and lust. You tried to hide away your bare pussy by clenching your thighs together. It only spurred him on.

“Do you have any clue what you’ve done?” he hovered over you, sleek muscles rippling over your own soft body, “I waited, and waited, and WAITED,” he bit down on the side of your exposed neck and you screamed behind the silky gag, trying your best not to expel it from your mouth and receive more punishment.

“I want to give you everything, Y/N,” he licks over the bite, almost apologetically, “I don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want it to happen like this… FUCK, why?! Why did you ruin this?” his long fingers dug into your cheeks as he forced you to meet his fiery gaze. You couldn’t help whimpering and sniffling back more clear runny snot. You were so humiliated at how disheveled and disgusting you must look. His head ducked into the soft spot between your neck and shoulder and you felt him sob.

Despite the abuse he’d inflicted upon you in the last ten minutes, you nuzzled your cheek into the top of his head in an attempt to comfort him. And he let you… he hated himself for it and he hated you for making this all so hard for him.

“No… no, no, no,” he rose from the bed to set up your ring-light and laptop, ice running through your veins at the sight. Your mind couldn’t accept what was about to happen.

“I’m... I’m not letting you get away with this,” he shook his head and pulled at his hair as he finished setting everything up, “If you’re insisting on being a slut, you’ll be MY slut. And everyone will know…” he jerked your ankle to force you flat on your back.

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Maybe if he’d let the gag out of your mouth, you’d be able to tell him this was just a job to you. That it was clinical… that he was the only one who had ever been able to get you off, that his face was the only one you’d come on… that you needed the money since your parents had disowned you…

But you only laid there, accepting whatever he was going to dish out. You knew he was hurt. You weren’t stupid. You overlooked him while knowing how he felt about you. It took years of horrible one-night stands and countless frat parties pretending that whatever guy you’d picked that night was interesting for you to come to your senses. You hated yourself for being so blind for so long… You adored Tamaki, truly. And you hated yourself for all the times you’d hurt him… so you swallowed your fear and tried to prepare yourself for whatever came next.

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Any soft parts of Tamaki that you’d grown to love were gone, hardened by heartache and desperation. After angling the laptop to get the perfect shot, he started the live stream countdown. Subscribers started trickling in, commenting on how this was a pleasant surprise since it wasn’t one of your regularly scheduled streams. You shut your eyes to pretend this wasn’t real.

Without fanfare or warning, Tamaki ripped apart your thighs, exposing your bare slit. A raw shrill was pulled from your lungs, your back arching from the sting of an abrupt slap. Neurons fired off in your brain… were you in pain? Was it pleasure?

“Since my girlfriend likes to keep secrets from me, I can’t trust what comes out of her whore mouth,” he emphasized his point by stuffing his fingers past your lips, pushing the soaked silk further into your throat, “So she’s going to keep this gag right here until I can fuck the truth out of her,” he trailed his fingers along your reddened folds. Were you getting wet? Horror and shame blossomed in your chest. The fact that you were growing aroused wasn’t lost on Tamaki. His foreign, sadistic grin was back… aimed directly into your soul.

“So that’s what you like, huh?” His nails bit into your thighs leaving tiny crescents behind, “I’ve been too nice? Too soft?” He pushed your thighs impossibly wide, the stretch causing you to moan. He hovered over your core, onyx orbs blown wide with a mix of hate and lust. Tamaki looked like the devil himself and you wondered just how fucked up you were for wanting his punishment.

He opened his mouth and lolled out his tongue, never severing the desperate gaze you both shared, his intertwined with hunger, yours with fear. You’d never noticed how long and thick his tongue was and couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel caressing every ridge and crevice of your inner walls. He flattened the warm, wet muscle and pressed it along your slit. As he slowly slid it closer and closer to your burning clit, you whimpered and bucked your hips chasing the pleasure you knew he was capable of giving… but this was not your sweet boy and he wasn’t doing any of this for your pleasure.

He slung his arm over your lower stomach and growled into your drenched lips. You were pinned down, helpless against his torturous tongue. Fresh tears pricked at your eyes as you remembered how he’d let you pet him and buck into his face, how sweetly he’d ease you into a gentle release. Not this time… it was all teeth and sharp sucks, his tongue forcing you open violently. You were being shoved over a cliff and despite the horror and violence of what was happening to you. You were approaching an orgasmic state at record speed. Tamaki caught on and doubled down. The arm that wasn’t pinning you into the mattress pulled your leg down straight, your knee in a death grip. The new angle made the sensations even more intense. His face pressed harder into your core and you noticed that at some point, he’d started weeping, small sobs vibrating against your skin. The overwhelming mix of emotions and the vigor in which he was eating you shoved you over the edge.

He kept going along at the same speed with the same determination through your orgasm until it became painful. You pushed past it as best you could, allowing him to sob into your over-sensitive skin until he had his fill. As the pain started intermingling with pleasure, your legs shook and the gag couldn’t hold your screams back any longer. You released against his tongue once more, both of you sobbing. He laid against your thigh for what felt like an eternity before he lifted himself to lay on top of you, his hip bones digging into your soft thighs. You could feel the bulge through the thin material of his boxer briefs. Your hips rose to meet it, a pleading gesture filled with the desire to comfort and please him. Your eagerness encourages his mercy, there’s a meek cry that leaves your lips when the damp silk slips from between your teeth.

“Please baby… I’m so, so sorry I didn’t tell you…” your voice was as weak as a kitten’s cry and Tamaki couldn’t deny it made his heart (his dick) clench.

“Say it…” his lips were close enough to kiss, but you resisted… fearful of what he’d do if you did.

“Say what, Tama?” your eyes were wide with concern and confusion. You were desperate to please him.

He turned your face to the camera that you’d forgotten was there and the gravity of the situation crashed around you again. New tears leaked from your stinging eyes as Tamaki whispered into your ear.

“Say that you’re a lying whore…”

“I..I’m a lying whore…”

The last syllable broke as your abused throat grew accustomed to speaking again. He rewarded you with a soft kiss to your cheek and your eyes closed at the tender gesture. The familiar pain in your chest welled to the surface causing even more tears to escape.

“And tell everyone that you’re my own personal slut”

You repeated the phrase to the audience behind the screen and he hummed with approval, trailing one finger along your wet cheek.

“Good girl…” the praise sent shivers through your wrecked body.

“And tell them from now on, your boyfriend will be the only one making you come… that they only get to see you be HIS slut.”

You noticed the chat going absolutely haywire at your announcement. Before Tamaki shut your laptop, you realized you’d made three times as much as you’d ever made before and a twisted sense of accomplishment filled your cloudy mind.

“Please,” your voice came out in a croak, “Please untie me. I wanna make it up to you,” his clothed bulge was burning into your core and you could tell he was close to breaking.

“Please let me make you feel good. I’m so, so sorry,” the clench of your thighs around his waist made him whimper.

He reluctantly pulled away to sit on the foot of the bed. The way he curled in on himself hugging his knees made him appear so small, so fragile… a complete change from the man who’d just manhandled you into restraints.

“You’re a liar…” you almost didn’t hear the whisper, his face buried into his knees.

“Please!” you were losing feeling in your hands and all you wanted was to be free to comfort him.

His eyes met yours and it was your Tamaki again... Your sweet boy… the snarling, green beast that threatened to devour you was sleeping now after it reached its fill of violence. He crawled over your body and released your restraint. Before you even regained feeling in your hands, you wrapped your arms around him. You littered his collarbone with sweet kisses and apologetic sobs. He began to melt into your affectionate gestures and you wrapped your legs around his waist pulling him impossibly close. Wet lips met and your tongues fought against each other for dominance. Hips began to roll against each other, increasing pressure until you both gasped.

The violence was gone, but this was still not a gentle coupling like you’d been planning. Tamaki pulled away and freed his straining cock from his boxers. The skin-to-skin contact made your eyes roll back into your skull. You felt his long fingers grasp your throat, squeezing to remind you just how powerful they were. You shuddered in response, arching upward into his touch, chasing that high his dominance was giving you.

With one swift motion, Tamaki speared you onto his cock. With the minimal prep he’d given you, the stretch was agonizing. This was by far the largest cock you’d ever taken and it stole your breath from your aching lungs. You moaned earning a visceral reaction from the boy on top of you.

Tamaki stayed as still as he could. He refused to come so soon… not when he’d waited so long for this. He tightened his grip on your throat and tentatively rocked his hips into yours. It didn’t take long for it to progress into the most frantic love-making you’d ever experienced.

There was no other way to describe it, he was hate fucking you… biting and sucking your chest until blood bloomed under your skin… hammering into your sore, sticky cunt with total abandon… he was using you like a toy, taking out all his frustrations on your body.

It was ecstasy.

When his hips stuttered as he met his release, the spasms of his tip against your gummy walls sent you into a painful orgasm. You were spent and it seemed like he was too. Your fingers twitched over the crown of his head, wanting to run your fingers through his hair but too scared to initiate any contact with him. As if he could read your mind, he grabbed your hand and placed it on his head. You sighed and began carding through the tangles, gently undoing them. You felt a stream of tears running down your chest as you worked your fingers through his strands. Lifting his face gently, you met his teary gaze with your own.

“Don’t…” he drew in a shuddering breath, “ever lie to me like that again…” the monster behind his eyes stirred quietly, a malicious glint in his eye, before shifting back into your gentle boyfriend.

“Never, I swear to you, baby…” he lets you lift his chin gently to meet your lips. His eyes close and he sighs into your kiss. His muscles relax and when his eyes open again, his warm, adoring expression falls over your face. The hand that wanted to choke the life out of your eyes minutes ago now caresses your jaw tenderly,

“I trust you…” his lips turn up into a grin that’s just a little too wide, “Because you’re a smart girl, aren’t you?” his top lip brushed against your still trembling bottom lip…

“Y-yes…”

You were fucked. This whole situation was fucked up and you weren’t blind to the fact. But as Tamaki nuzzled into your neck placing soft kisses and whispering praises into your skin, you let yourself bask in the gentleness of the moment…

Because you were a smart girl and smart girls learn their lessons quickly...

#bnha #bnha smut #yandere tamaki #tamaki amajiki x reader #tamaki x y/n #tamaki amajiki #tw:dubcon #tw: noncon #tw: injury #tw: toxic relationship #tw: dark themes

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lilypixels · 3 years

Note

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

#if there’s something messed up in this string of text #ignore it cause I’m not proofreading again ajdbd #I did not realize there were so many questions pls #asks #jade why 😔💜

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maybeimamuppet · 3 years

Text

I see stars

hello friends, happy Wednesday! before we get into this I'd like to thank my irl friends Nerd and Kween (I asked them if they'd like to pick an alias, that's what they each chose) for giving me scene ideas and helping me to write this chapter!

tw for:

outing

and something that could be seen as a suicide attempt if you squint. its really not, but... it'll make sense once you get into it.

anyway, please enjoy!

At 11:11, Cady makes a wish on a star outside her window. She’s just moved across the world, to Illinois from Kenya. She’s never felt more alone in her life.

So, Cady wishes for a friend. Someone who will stick by her side through anything. Doesn’t matter who. She knows it’s a cliche to wish on a star, but she’s desperate. She’ll try anything.

She’s not expecting to be woken by a blinding bright light at exactly midnight. She blinks blearily as she wakes, looking into the backyard. There’s a girl about her age, bathed in the light.

Cady tugs on her hedgehog slippers and runs downstairs, able to approach the girl lying in her grass as the blinding light fades.

She doesn’t seem to be breathing, but she gasps sharply and her eyes shoot open just before Cady can touch her.

“No, no, no,” the girl says desperately.

“Um... are you okay?” Cady asks quietly, very confused by the last several minutes. The girl looks at her and screams, making Cady jump.

“You, who are you?” The girl demands, her blonde hair flowing behind her. Her eyes are glowing and her hair moves on its own. That’s not normal.

“Um... I’m Cady. Cady Heron,” Cady says confusedly.

“What the fuck have you done?!” The girl yells at her. “You made a wish, what did you wish for?”

Cady is almost crying in fear as this terrifying... person? yells at her. “Nothing, I just-I wanted a friend, I didn’t-I didn’t mean to do anything to you. Who are you?”

“I,” the girl says with a sigh. “Am the star you wished on. Or I used to be, anyway.”

“You what?! That can’t... you...” Cady splutters. “But you’re a girl.”

“To you. This is my... Earthly form, you could say,” the star replies. “You don’t believe me. Here, touch me.”

Cady tries to, pulling back with a yelp as her fingertip makes contact. She’s burning hot.

“Ow! You couldn’t prove it some other way?” Cady hisses, sucking on her burned finger. The star stands up, shaking off her white robes and combing her hands through her long blonde hair. Now that Cady looks closely, her hair is almost exactly the color of starlight. And there’s still a sort of glowing aura around her. “Can anyone else see you?”

“They can now, thanks to you,” the star spits. “That’s a point, actually, hold on.”

She waves her hands for a second, somehow removing the light emanating from her. Her eyes stop glowing and fade to a rather beautiful honey-brown, and her hair lays flat in waves down just past her shoulders. She brings her hands together to condense the light, and like a magician releasing a dove, reveals two gold bracelets that she slides onto her wrists.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t... I didn’t mean to bring you here,” Cady whispers. “Can I help you get back?”

The star sighs, seeming to calm herself. “You had no way of knowing this would happen. It hasn’t for thousands of your years. You don’t need to apologize.”

“What did happen?” Cady asks in confusion.

“You made a wish at a very poor time for me,” the girl replies, coming to sit by her on the grass. “But we don’t have time to get into it now.”

“Okay,” Cady says. She doesn’t think it’s okay, she has so many questions, but she doesn’t want to anger the girl again. “Um… what’s your name?”

“I don’t have one,” the girl shrugs. “I suppose you humans have technically named me at some point, but I wouldn’t know it.”

“Are you staying here?”

“It would seem so,” the girl hums. “For a while, anyway. I’ll have to go back soon.”

“Then you need a name,” Cady insists. She stands and reaches to help her up, but pulls back quickly. “Are you still, um…”

The star chuckles. “No. If I’m not glowing you don’t have to worry.”

“Ah,” Cady says as if she understands. She doesn’t, nothing about this evening makes sense. “Come on, it’s cold out here.”

“You trust strangers remarkably quickly,” the girl says as she takes her hand to be led up the stairs to Cady’s bedroom. “I could be some crazy human telling you a lie.”

“You could be, but you were glowing and burning hot when you got here, and you clearly can do some kind of… magic, or something, with your… essence. And you already knew I wished on a star,” Cady whispers. “Now shush, you’ll wake my parents up.”

“Parents?”

“Yeah. You know, like… the people who made me?” Cady says. “Do stars not have parents?”

“Not that I would ever know,” the star says. “We’re technically composed of pieces of others who’ve already died. What are parents like?”

Cady sits the girl on her bed and roots through her dresser for something less conspicuous for her to wear. “It depends. Some aren’t great. Mine are nice, they love me. They’re a little dorky, but they’re good people. You’ll like them.”

The star takes the offered sweats and looks at them curiously. “What do I do with these?”

“Wear them,” Cady giggles. “You’ll attract a lot of attention in that.”

The star looks down at her long, angelic robes, then back at what Cady has on. She seems to realize that, indeed, she sticks out like a sore thumb. Cady yelps and turns around when she starts tugging her robes off.

“What happened?” The girl asks in confusion.

“You can’t just get naked in front of people,” Cady huffs. “Privacy is important.”

“Oh. Privacy.” The star replies quietly. She tugs on the offered clothes and rests her robes next to her. “I’m done now.”

Cady turns back warily and chuckles when she sees her. “You put the shirt on backwards.”

“Backwards?”

“The wrong way. Come here,” Cady says. The star approaches warily, and Cady helps her turn the shirt around. “For future reference, on human clothes, there’s usually a tag. That goes in the back.”

“Human clothes are so strange,” the girl says thoughtfully, tugging curiously at her collar. She gestures to the pants. “What do you call these? The… leg tubes?”

“Pants?” Cady chuckles, guiding her back to the bed so they can have a chat. “How much do you know? About… me? Or just humanity?”

“Good question,” the star says. “For humanity as a whole, I know most of the common belief systems and usually how cultures function, basic things like that. In terms of specific things like… pants, you said?” Cady nods. “That’s not my area of expertise.”

Cady nods thoughtfully. “And me?”

“You, I only know what I’ve seen. I was assigned to you when you were born. I’ve been watching you, sort of. But I can’t see into your soul or anything, I don’t know your thoughts. I just know what would’ve been observable by anyone,” the girl shrugs.

“Assigned to me? Prove it. When’s my birthday?” Cady says slightly suspiciously, folding her arms over her chest.

“In human time, February eleventh, 2001,” the star says instantly.

“Human time…? No, never mind. Um… where is my biggest scar?” Cady asks. “And how did I get it?”

“Your… oh, what is it called… ah, your stomach. You were playing with a lion cub named Louise and got scratched. You were ten years old and required eight stitches,” the girl replies.

Cady goes quiet. Her scar isn’t visible unless she wears a crop top, and only someone who knew her as a child would know how she got it to that level of specificity. The star is telling the truth.

“Okay, I believe you,” Cady breathes. “This is… a lot for one night.”

“I wasn’t expecting to be here either, I certainly understand,” the girl chuckles sardonically.

“You still need a name,” Cady suddenly realizes. “I can’t keep calling you ‘the star’ or ‘the girl’ in my head.”

“Okay. If you say so,” the star shrugs. “You seem to have decent judgement, you can name me.”

Cady hums pensively, her eyes drifting over to the records her dad had given her to introduce her to American music. There’s a Janis Joplin record on top.

“What about Janis?” Cady asks. It suits the girl pretty well. “Like this.”

The star reads over the letters on the record sleeve and nods. “I like it.”

“Well then, Janis, we should sleep. Wait, do you even need to sleep?” Cady asks. This is all so complicated.

“I think so,” Janis says. “We’ll find out. I know I can sleep, however.”

Cady nods with a thoughtful hum before she gestures for Janis to lie on the far side of her bed. Cady inches in after her, but makes sure to leave a gap in between them. Janis wiggles comfortably under the blankets, delighted at feeling their soft texture for the first time.

“Goodnight, Janis,” Cady murmurs softly.

“Goodnight, Cady Heron,” Janis whispers back.

————-

Cady wakes with a start the next morning when she remembers there’s someone else in bed with her. Janis seems to be spooning her, which is actually kind of nice. Cady takes a moment to think about how to explain this to her parents. They’d never believe the truth, but she needs some story that will convince them to let Janis stay.

She rolls out of bed when she decides on something believable, and tucks Janis in a little tighter. Janis snuffles gently but doesn’t wake.

Cady pads down the stairs and finds her parents in the kitchen making breakfast.

“Morning, binti,” her dad says when he spots her in the hallway. Cady comes into the room staring at her feet.

“Don’t be mad,” she begins, already smacking herself mentally. That’s never a good way to start a conversation. “Um, one of my friends came over last night. She got… kicked out, she needs somewhere to stay. I don’t want her on the streets. Can she please stay here for a while?”

“Kicked out?” Her mom asks. “How do you know this girl?”

“She… she didn’t say why. I didn’t want to ask,” Cady lies quietly. She’s been close enough to the truth so far. “And, um… we met at… the observatory. The one I went to after school last week.”

“Of course she can stay. We have plenty of room, she can stay as long as she needs. Just teach her the rules and stuff,” Cady’s dad replies. Her mom looks at him unhappily, but does nod after a moment’s thought. Cady hugs them both in a mix of happiness and relief.

“Thank you. Her name is Janis, by the way,” Cady murmurs. “I’ll go let her know.”

Her parents nod and send her back up to her bedroom. Cady returns to find Janis awake and turning the lights on and off curiously.

“Hey,” she says softly. Janis jumps and whirls around to see her.

“Good morning,” Janis replies. Cady chuckles.

“What are you doing?”

“How does this turn on the light all the way over there?” Janis asks in wonder.

Cady shrugs. “Electricity, I dunno. I’m not used to it either. Um, my parents said you can stay here. I told them you got kicked out, but they think that means, like, your human parents kicked you out. But you can stay here as long as you need.”

“How lovely,” Janis says. Her stomach suddenly rumbles and she looks at it in confusion.

“You must be hungry. Come on, my parents have breakfast downstairs,” Cady giggles. “I think you’ll like waffles.”

—————-

Cady and Janis set up a routine that day. Cady teaches Janis about human life, and has an added bonus of getting help with her chores. In return, Cady gets a friend. And a cool friend, if she does say so herself.

Cady had bravely taken Janis out shopping, and the fallen star had immediately taken to fishnet tights and oversized jackets. The punk clothes suit her far more than Cady’s hand-me-downs.

Janis stays home when Cady goes to school for safety. Janis also got a phone so she can contact Cady in an emergency, so they have that. Janis knows all the rules and especially not to mess around in the kitchen. She spends most of her days learning about humanity through TV shows and other media. Janis isn’t too keen on what she finds, but Cady seems to be an outlier. She hopes more humans are like Cady.

One day, the two girls are washing the dishes after dinner. Janis washes and Cady dries. Cady suddenly fumbles drying a knife and nicks her finger.

Janis looks up in surprise when she yelps. “What happened?” Cady shows off her slightly bleeding finger. “Oh. You’re bleeding.”

“Just a little, it’s not a big deal. I’ll grab a bandaid, it’s fine,” Cady shrugs, already moving towards the first aid kit. Janis gently grabs her hands to stop her moving away.

“I can help,” she says quietly. “Please?” Cady nods gently. Janis holds the wounded finger gently between her hands and closes her eyes. Cady’s finger feels warmer, suddenly, and there’s an odd tingling sensation. “There.”

When Cady looks, the only hint of an injury is a small scar. “Wow.”

“The scar will fade slowly. I usually don’t leave them, but my abilities aren’t quite up to snuff on Earth,” Janis says shyly.

“No, it’s… wow,” Cady says again. “You’re incredible. Thank you.”

Janis flushes and looks down. “You’re welcome.”

In a momentary fit of boldness, Cady leans in and kisses Janis’ cheek. Janis squeaks in surprise and blushes harder.

“Let’s get back to it, star girl,” Cady chuckles, grabbing her towel again. Janis shuffles back over and grabs her sponge.

Cady starts noticing strange things after that day. She feels emotions that don’t totally fit her situation. She’s beginning to have memories of doing things she hasn’t done. She has knowledge of things she didn’t study.

The kicker comes one day in her French class. Cady notices she suddenly has much more energy. Her knee is bouncing uncontrollably and her mind is racing. She takes a second to check her phone when she feels it buzzing wildly in her pocket.

stargirl: CADDY WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME BOUT COFEEEe

stargirl: IS SO GOOD

stargirl: TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE BUT NAKES MY BRAIN GO FSST I LOVE IT

stargirl: OPPS I SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG BUT YOURE CADDY NOW

spacecadet: Janis how much coffee have you had?

stargirl: EIGT

spacecadet: Good lord, Janis. Stop drinking it and wait until I get home, please

stargirl: WHYYYYY

spacecadet: Because it’s affecting me too, and I can’t have that right now. Go run around the backyard or something. Just stop the coffee

stargirl: :(

stargirl: ohhhhhh i see now that looks like a sad face

stargirl: clever humans. i was wondering why you use that when you’re unhappy

stargirl: ok bye

Cady clicks her phone off and tries to tune back into her class, wondering what the hell is happening. She and Janis appear to share some sort of link now, if the coffee is anything to go by.

Janis is definitely coming to school with her after this.

Janis seems much calmer when Cady gets home. The caffeine crash appears to have kicked in, because she’s huddled up on the couch and staring lethargically at the ceiling.

“Hey, Jay,” Cady says softly. Janis whines and turns to look at her. “You okay?”

“Caddy, the fast juice makes my head hurt,” Janis whines again. Cady grins sadly and heads to fetch her some ibuprofen and water.

“Here, this will help,” Cady says quietly. “The headache is a part of caffeine withdrawal. I see you had a fun day.”

“I deep cleaned the whole house in two hours and the neighbors let me play with their puppy,” Janis replies. Cady chuckles again.

“Well, my parents will love having the house this clean, so good job there. But we should talk,” she says softly. “I felt the caffeine too. Just a little bit. I felt a bit of the energy, and my leg started shaking. What does that mean?”

“I’m not totally sure myself, but this can happen sometimes,” Janis replies. “I forgot about it at the time, I just wanted to help. But sometimes when I do things like healing your cut, or things like that, a bit of me… gets into you, kind of. Forms a sort of link between us. We’ll share a bit of our stronger emotions or sensations, learn things the other knows, stuff like that.”

“So… you healing my cut gave us a psychic link?” Cady asks confusedly.

“Kind of,” Janis agrees. “I can help you learn how to turn it off, in a way, if it bothers you.”

Cady shakes her head. “I kind of like it. Except when you have eight cups of coffee while I’m trying to focus in class.”

“Cady, it’s so good,” Janis says dreamily. “It’s the most wonderful human creation.”

“Well, I’m glad you had a good day, but take it in moderation. No more than two cups from here on, okay?” Cady giggles. Janis nods with a pout. “And I think… I think you should start coming to school with me. It’s only November, you won’t have missed too much.”

“But won’t it… what’s the word… embarrass you? If I say something strange? I’m still not used to humanity,” Janis asks concernedly. Cady looks away briefly.

“There’s not much more damage you can do. Nobody talks to me anyway,” she whispers. “It’ll be nice to have a friend there.”

Janis doesn’t quite know what to do here; she’s still adjusting to human emotions. But a hug seems to fit, so she sits herself up and awkwardly wraps her arms around Cady. Cady leans in and tips her head against her shoulder.

“Then I’ll go,” Janis says softly. “I’m your friend.”

Cady nods. “Thanks, Jay.”

“Oh, um… can I do something, for my sake, if I’m going to school with you?” Janis asks. “It might give you a headache for a few minutes, but you should be fine.”

“Should be? Oh boy,” Cady says worriedly. Janis positions them so they’re facing each other and gets another confirmation from Cady. She nods, and Janis reaches out and touches the center of her forehead.

Cady feels like her brain is exploding. Her mind rushes with thoughts and it feels like they’re pouring out her ears. She’s about to cry out for Janis to make it stop, but Janis ends it just before she reaches her limit. Cady is left with a minor migraine, but shockingly, no other side effects.

“What the heck was that?” She asks desperately.

“I’m sorry,” Janis murmurs. “I just made copies of the knowledge you use for school and gave them to myself. You were basically feeling all your intelligence being doubled and then half removed. But the headache fades.”

Cady supposes Janis will need to be able to do classwork and things, she needs the information. Cady can forgive a temporary headache. “Your hair.”

“What?” Janis asks, furrowing her brows.

“Your hair is brown. Here,” Cady says, touching her own roots. Janis scrambles up and runs to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Cady follows in concern. It doesn’t look bad, it’s only about a centimeter, but Cady had assumed Janis would be a natural blonde. “Are you okay?”

Janis stares at her reflection for a long moment. “Hm? Oh, yeah. It’s fine, everything’s fine.”

Cady’s part of the link floods with alarm bells saying ‘Lie. Lying. Lie.’ She decides not to question it, Janis seems distressed enough. She’ll tell her when she’s ready.

“Okay then. Come on, let’s go get your school supplies,” Cady says, reaching to hold her hand. Janis follows her away clinging to her hand tightly.

————-

Janis starts school with Cady the next week. After a fair bit of pleading, the school agreed to give Janis the same schedule so they can stick together. People still look at them oddly, but one mildly threatening look from Janis sends them on their way.

They manage to skate by relatively unnoticed until lunch. Janis hasn’t said much of anything in fear of causing a scene.

“Don’t you want to eat with the other humans?” Janis asks once they have their lunches, confused as to why Cady isn’t heading back towards the cafeteria. They get a few odd looks at the use of the term ‘other humans’, but nobody seems to think twice about it. High school is weird enough already.

“I usually don’t. I’ve been eating in the bathroom,” Cady says shyly. “Or sometimes with Ms. Norbury. I don’t think anyone would let me sit with them.”

“Well, now there’s two of us. Maybe someone will,” Janis says optimistically. Cady shrugs and decides to give it a shot.

They’re both immediately overwhelmed by the amount of people present and look around in shock. Janis is about to rescind her statement and take them somewhere else when a high, falsely sweet voice rings out from the table in the center of the room.

“Wait, why don’t I know you?” It asks. Everyone else turns to look at the two of them, seemingly in shock.

“Um… we’re new,” Cady stutters. “I’m Cady, this is Janis.”

“You’re both, like, really pretty,” the girl says.

“Uh… thanks,” Cady says.

“So you agree?”

“Huh?”

“You think you’re really pretty,” the girl says. “Or were you talking about that one? Are you some kind of-”

Suddenly, another voice comes by. “Absolutely not. Regina, stop with the mind games and kindly shut the fuck up. Nobody here actually cares what you have to say and your hair looks like hay.”

Janis yelps as she and Cady are dragged away from the table, down the hall and out the doors into the courtyard by the owner of the voice. They’re finally released once they’re under a large oak tree. They both turn to find a tall, sweet looking boy in a t-shirt with a drag queen on it.

“Sorry about that, but it’s for your own good,” he says. “I’m Damian Hubbard, token school gay and junior activities chair.”

“Oh, you’re in my French class! Well, our French class. You’re the one who wanted to go by Fantine,” Cady exclaims.

“One and the same,” Damian nods. He looks at them expectantly. Cady suddenly realizes what he wants.

“Oh! Sorry. I’m Cady, this is Janis,” Cady says. “We’re new here. Juniors.”

“Fun! Where are you guys from?” He asks.

“I’m from Kenya,” Cady says instantly. Luckily, Damian is so interested in this information that he doesn’t ask where Janis is from. Janis just quietly eats her burger while Damian and Cady chat about Africa.

“So what are your schedules like? I haven’t noticed you in my other classes,” Damian asks once his curiosity about Kenya is sated. He looks specifically at Janis. “I definitely would have noticed you.”

“Today is her first day, she’s been… homeschooled, for a while,” Cady explains as she hands her schedule over. “We have AP Calculus after this, then English.”

“Damn, AP Calc as juniors? You guys must be geniuses,” Damian says, impressed. “We have most of our morning classes together, but I have theater and study hall after this.”

“What’s up with that girl?” Janis asks suddenly, practically the first words she’s said all day. Damian looks at her in brief surprise before launching into a story.

“Regina is sort of queen bee here. Everyone calls her and her little group the Plastics, because… they… look like they’re plastic. She’s a manipulative bitch, just stay away from her. For your own good,” Damian warns.

“She seemed nice,” Cady says confusedly. “She said we were pretty.”

“Regina George is not nice!” Damian exclaims suddenly. “Sorry. I have some… history, with her. We shouldn’t get into it now. Anyway, are you guys, like, sisters?”

They both chuckle. Cady answers, “No, we’re just friends. We actually didn’t meet all that long ago. But we do live together.”

“Neat,” Damian says, not pressing and asking why they live together as just friends. “You don’t seem to talk much, Janis.”

Janis looks to Cady in concern, not knowing how to respond.

“She’s just… wary of new people,” Cady says for her. “She warms up after a while.” Janis nods as if to confirm.

“Ah, that’s chill,” Damian says. “Ew, that made me sound straight. Anyway. I usually eat lunch out here when it’s nice, if you guys want to join me. I’ll be glad to show you around.”

“Thank you,” Cady says gratefully. Janis’ instincts tell her to trust this boy, so she nods as well. The bell rings to signal the end of lunch and they all jump.

“No problem. I’ll see you in homeroom tomorrow!” Damian calls, tugging his bag over his shoulder and waving as he heads back to class.

“He seems fun,” Cady says, waiting for Janis to finish gathering her things. “And nice.”

“I like him,” Janis nods. “And I don’t trust that Regina girl. I think Damian’s right, we should avoid her.”

Cady nods. “Okay, I trust your judgement more than mine. Come on, star girl, we’re gonna be late.”

—————-

A few weeks later, Cady and Janis have officially formed a little squad with Damian. They’re nearly inseparable, and Janis is thankful for the opportunity to observe another human close-up. But she has questions.

“Caddy?” She asks one day while Cady is doing math. Janis is doing something called painting, which Cady had introduced her to. Janis likes it and does seem to have a natural aptitude for it.

“Hmm?”

“What does gay mean? Damian says he’s… whatever it is, but I’ve never heard it used before,” Janis asks.

Cady looks at her. “Um… a gay person is someone who’s attracted to the same sex, either romantically or sexually. So, Damian likes boys.”

“Oh. So I’m gay?” Janis asks. Cady chokes on the small sip of her drink she’s just taken.

“Do you like girls?”

“I think so. I’m not… totally sure what attraction is like, yet, but I’m pretty sure I’m not attracted to any man,” Janis says.

“That’s fine,” Cady says gently. “Girls who are gay are usually called lesbians. But you can also like both boys and girls, and people in between. Or nobody.”

“This is all terribly confusing,” Janis says. Cady chuckles.

“Believe me, I know. Here, you can read through this and see if anything fits. I’m sure it’ll be a little different for you, since you’re not totally… human,” Cady says shyly.

Janis takes the proffered laptop and scrolls through it. She desperately tries to ignore the bookmark on the ‘bisexual’ tab, clearly put there by Cady. That’s personal, Cady would tell her if she wanted her to know.

“I believe I am an asexual lesbian,” Janis says after about eight minutes. Cady looks at her in shock.

“You knew that quickly?”

“It’s what seems to fit best, that’s what you said I should look for,” Janis shrugs.

“Okay. Good for you, Jay,” Cady says quietly. “Proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Janis says. Cady’s eyes suddenly go wide as she looks at her. “What?”

“Your hair. More of it is brown,” Cady says.

“No,” Janis whispers anxiously, running to the vanity to check in the mirror. There’s about three inches of the dark brown now, but the rest is still her old platinum blonde.

“Janis, what’s going on? Please,” Cady begs. “What does this mean? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Janis says quietly. “It’s fine.”

Alarms go off in Cady’s head again. Janis will tell you when she’s ready. Don’t push, she reminds herself.

“You’ll tell me if something does happen, though?” Cady confirms.

“Yes,” Janis says. About anything except this. “I promise. It’s fine.”

Cady doesn’t question it further, even when she hears Janis awake all night.

————-

Janis is tidying the basement a few weeks later to help out Cady’s parents. For a bit of entertainment, she switches on the mental link she shares with Cady. They’ve discovered that if only one of them has it ‘on’, they only get the bare bones of what the other is feeling. It’s actually kind of handy.

Janis is immediately overwhelmed with stressed and anxious vibes coming through. To save herself a potentially literal headache, she flicks it back off and rushes upstairs to save Cady.

Cady jumps slightly when she comes barreling into the bedroom, but only looks up from her books briefly before she turns back.

“What’s wrong?” Janis asks.

“Nothing,” Cady says airily, but Janis can see the tension in her shoulders and the clench in her jaw. Cady can apparently feel her staring in disbelief, because she sighs and turns around. “We have a big English test next week, I’m trying to study. I’m… really not good at English.”

“You speak it well,” Janis says. “I think you’re good.”

“Thanks, Janis,” Cady chuckles sadly. “There’s just so many rules, and then there’s always exceptions to the rules. It doesn’t make sense.”

Janis has found this to be true with her studies of humans as well, so she certainly can relate. “Can I help?”

Cady grins at her affectionately. “I could use a cuddle.”

Janis heads over immediately to wrap her friend in a tight hug, resting her chin on top of Cady’s red hair. Cady sighs contently against her neck and cuddles closer. Janis squeezes her in return.

They stay like that for a long, peaceful moment before Janis suddenly gets a brilliant idea.

“Ooh! Wait here, I’ll be right back,” she says excitedly. Cady pouts at the sudden removal of her snuggles, but sits obediently back at her desk to wait.

Janis comes stumbling back in with her easel and all of her painting supplies, crashing into the room and setting everything up with a good deal of noise.

“I need to teach you some more subtlety,” Cady giggles. “What are you doing?”

“Paint,” Janis says around a mouthful of brushes. She removes them before she continues. “With me. To relax!”

“Jay, that’s sweet, but I really can’t paint,” Cady says. “I should get back to studying anyway.”

“No,” Janis insists. “I don’t know human physiology that well, but I know that’s not healthy. You come paint with me. Right now.”

Cady can’t help but giggle as she purses her lips and puffs out her chest dramatically. “Fine, fine. If you want me to waste your paint.”

“You bought it for me,” Janis shrugs. “And its whole purpose is to make things. It never says it has to be something professional or seen by others as ‘good’. If you make something with it and it helps you calm down, then I don’t see how it’s been wasted.”

“You’re awfully poetic sometimes, you know that?” Cady chuckles. “You have to help me.”

Janis nods eagerly and gets her pallet all set up. She stands behind Cady and guides her hand to help her paint a sunset, resting her chin on Cady’s shoulder and murmuring instructions into her ear. Cady seems a bit more tense than before, for some reason.

Cady does relax after a while. The texture of the thick paint flowing over the canvas is very soothing, and she has an excellent guide behind her. But the painting still isn’t turning out the way she wanted, which is frustrating.

“Relax, you’re so tense,” Janis says calmingly. “You’re shredding the brush.”

“I’m painting,” Cady grumbles.

“You’re massacring it,” Janis chuckles. In retaliation, Cady dabs some lavender paint onto her brush and swipes it over Janis’ nose. “Hey!”

Teasingly, Cady reaches out again and waggles the brush in front of Janis’ face. Janis snatches it and the pallet and dabs some yellow over Cady’s cheek. Cady gasps at the betrayal.

She grabs another brush and a bottle of cheap acrylic, squeezing some out onto another pallet that she also uses as a shield. Janis lunges again, barely managing a streak of blue down Cady’s forehead. Cady retaliates with some pink on Janis’ collarbone.

By the time Janis runs out of materials, they’re both much more colorful than they were a few minutes ago. But Cady is laughing delightedly, which was Janis’ whole goal.

Janis lunges forward and grabs her small friend, holding her close and spinning her around while Cady laughs. Janis suddenly realizes she really wants to kiss her. That’s new.

Cady cuddles close once Janis puts her down and nuzzles into Janis’ neck. “Thank you, Jay. I needed that.”

“Anytime, Birdie,” Janis replies quietly.

“Birdie?” Cady asks.

“Your name,” Janis says. “Heron. It’s a bird. I learned that humans sometimes call animals things that end with that sound for affection. Like doggy or kitty. Or birdie.”

“Cute,” Cady hums. “Herons aren’t really… cute birds, though. They’re pretty big.”

“Let me have this,” Janis pleads.

“Okay,” Cady giggles. She pushes up on her tiptoes to kiss Janis’ cheek. “I’m gonna go wash this off. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Janis squeaks, thankful that the paint hides how hard she’s blushing.

Nearly a third of her hair is brown when she checks the mirror to scrub the paint away.

————-

Janis gets home the next afternoon after a hangout with Damian to find Cady with a green face. She jumps and runs back out of their shared bedroom in fright.

“Janis, come back,” Cady laughs. “I’m just doing some skincare, it’s okay.”

“Why are you green?” Janis asks warily.

“It’s a face mask. This one has avocado,” Cady says, putting her book aside and reaching for her. “The paint yesterday kind of irritated my skin, so I’m doing this to help calm it down.”

“Oh,” Janis says. “You’re not sick?”

“No,” Cady says. “I’m perfectly fine. Face masks are actually very relaxing. Did you have fun with Dame?”

“Yeah,” Janis says absently, looking curiously at the green goop on Cady’s face. “He taught me the dance he came up with for that one Lady Gaga song.”

“Oh, really? You’ll have to show me later,” Cady giggles. “Do you wanna try a mask?”

Janis nods curiously, so Cady heads back to the bathroom to grab the pot of it. Janis eyes it warily but does let Cady lie her down and gently brush it over her face.

Cady doesn’t think for a terribly long time before she decides that straddling Janis is the best way to get it on. She’s filled with regret quite quickly, realizing this is a rather compromising position.

“You have beautiful skin,” she murmurs as she rubs the goop gently into Janis’ cheeks.

“Thanks?” Janis says confusedly. “Like, to eat? Is that what you’re doing?”

To kiss, maybe, Cady thinks, but desperately doesn’t say. “No, not to eat, goofy. But it’s very soft. Feels nice.”

Janis nods thoughtfully. Cady swipes a little bit onto her chin, and she pokes her tongue out to taste it without thinking. “Blech.”

“It’s not to eat, I just said,” Cady giggles. “It’s for your skin, it’s not food.”

“You said it was avocado,” Janis pouts.

“I said it has avocado, it has other things in it too,” Cady says. “Things that don’t taste very good.”

Janis continues pouting at the lack of food as Cady finishes covering her face. Cady suddenly realizes she’s very tempted to kiss it away. It’s romantic, in a way, to be doing this with Janis. Sharing a face mask and looking into each other’s eyes.

“What now?” Janis asks curiously. Cady goes to clean her hands off before she answers.

“Now you leave it on for a while and relax,” she responds, shoving Janis over on the bed and crawling in next to her. Janis pouts again.

“Relaxing is boring,” she whines.

“It wasn’t boring yesterday,” Cady responds. “Just talk to me.”

“About what?” Janis asks.

“I dunno,” Cady shrugs. “Um… what’s your favorite thing about Earth, so far? Besides coffee?”

Janis thinks for a while. Cady twines their fingers together in the meantime without thinking about it, giving Janis’ hand a gentle squeeze. Janis squeezes back before she answers.

“You,” she says quietly. “And Damian. Getting to know you face to face is… so much better than watching you from above. And I would never have met him if I hadn’t fallen. I got the best tour guides to Earth.”

Cady is nearly in tears at her answer. “I’m glad I can. Well, I’m not glad you fell. But I am glad it gave me a chance to meet you. I love-“ I love you.

Janis looks at her expectantly.

“I love getting to know you,” Cady finishes. That was close.

Janis grins at her adorably. “Thanks, Caddy.”

“Of course,” Cady whispers. Janis continues talking, saving Cady having to try to recover for a long moment. When the time is up Cady grabs a warm cloth to swipe the mask away with. She finds herself having to actively hold back from kissing the star beneath her.

Maybe she is still stupid with love.

—————-

Janis likes Damian. He doesn’t mind that she doesn’t speak very much, and makes an effort to get to know her anyway. They have little hangouts without Cady from time to time, just to get to know each other.

“Damian?” Janis asks quietly one day as she sits on his bed. Damian pauses his passionate cover of Hello from The Book of Mormon.

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

Damian pauses his backing track and comes to sit next to her. “Not real love, I don’t think. I’ve had, like, crushes and stuff, though. Why?”

“What is it like?” Janis asks. “How do you know?”

“Well, um… you think about them a lot. Want to spend time together, maybe you want to cuddle or kiss them. I always got a kind of warm feeling in my chest whenever I was around him, and it just felt… right, to be together. Like you make sense together,” Damian says. “That’s not a great explanation, sorry.”

“No, it’s-it’s fine,” Janis murmurs.

“Is this prompted by anyone?” Damian asks. “You don’t have to tell me, but I won’t tell them if you don’t want me to.”

“IthinkI’minlovewithCady,” Janis says rapidly. Damian gasps happily and looks at her, then scrambles back on the bed away from Janis. “Is that bad?”

“No, no, that’s-that’s fine,” Damian squeaks. “But what’s happening with your eyes?”

“What?”

“Your eyes are… they’re glowing. Why are they glowing, how long have they done that? Are you a witch?” Damian asks rapidly. Janis runs to look in the mirror, and sure enough, her eyes are glowing a gentle gold color.

She slaps her hands over them and presses her back against the wall. “Don’t freak out.”

“Too late,” Damian calls loudly. “Why the fuck are you glowing, Janis?!”

“Shh,” Janis hushes. “Would you shut up? It’s kind of important other people don’t know about this.”

“But why are your eyes fucking-mmph!” Damian tries to ask again, getting cut off by Janis’ hands slamming over his mouth.

“I’m gonna take my hands away,” Janis says. “And you’re gonna be quiet. I’ll explain, but you have to be calm. Or I will tape your mouth shut. Capiche?”

Damian nods, so Janis removes her hands. He takes a second to breathe. “But are you a witch?” He asks quietly.

“No, I’m not a witch,” Janis grumbles. “I’m a star.”

“You-you-you-“ Damian stutters. “Huh?”

“I’m a star. From the sky,” Janis says. “In your years, I’m about seventeen million years old. I’m Cady’s guardian star. She wished on me and I fell to Earth. And now we’re here.”

Damian blinks at her. “You’re… a star.” Janis nods. “You’re not bullshitting me?” Janis shakes her head. “Prove it. Please.”

“My eyes glowing aren’t enough for you?” Janis asks. Damian shakes his head. “Fine. Grab some sunglasses and oven mitts and meet me in your backyard.”

“What?”

“Just do it,” Janis groans, heading out to the backyard to prepare herself. Luckily, Damian lives in a pretty isolated part of the suburbs. He meets her after a few minutes wearing some cool shades and Animal Crossing patterned oven mitts. “Ready?”

Damian nods, so Janis slips her bracelets off and holds them in her hands. It takes a bit of effort to get them to shift back into her aura, which worries her, but she’ll have to deal with that later. She feels the once familiar warming sensation of her light emanating from her, and the soothing motion of her hair starting to flow down her back. The glow of her eyes is even stronger now.

Damian’s jaw drops in shock. His best friend is a star. He comes up and pokes her arm curiously with one of the mitts. There’s a sizzling noise and a small char mark on the glove, but luckily no other damage. Janis condenses her aura again, this time fashioning some cool piercings that she slips in. They fit her punk look much better. Poor Damian is still trying to process.

“You’re a star,” he says in awe. “That’s so cool! What is star world like? Do you have other star friends? How did you get to be Cady’s star? Do I have a star too?”

Janis grabs him gently and guides him back inside, promising to answer all his questions in due time. The only evidence left behind are two black footprints in the grass where she stood.

————-

Damian has a school show in February. Cady and Janis buy tickets on the first day they’re available, eager to see him in his element.

But Janis has come to a sad realization. Her hair changing colors and her waning ability to change her jewelry back can only mean one thing.

She’s becoming human.

Janis knows she doesn’t belong on Earth. She’s a star. She belongs in the sky, watching over Cady from above. If she stays much longer, she won’t be able to get back.

It’s not as if she wants to leave. She loves Cady in every way a human can love another. And recently, she’s had reason to believe that Cady loves her in return. Janis wants to experience that. But she thinks she wants to be where she belongs more.

Secretly, Janis writes letters. Three, to be precise. One to Cady’s parents to thank them for allowing her to stay with them and being so kind to her. One to Damian, to thank him for being such a good friend and sticking around to take care of Cady Earth side. And one to Cady, saying everything she wants so desperately to say out loud.

She hides them in her backpack, somewhere Cady won’t look until it’s time.

————-

Janis tries to spend as much time as she possibly can with her friends. She makes sure she can do her homework with Cady, and goes to Damian’s house after school almost every day. Neither of them complain. Cady especially doesn’t complain that Janis keeps sneaking into bed with her for cuddles in the middle of the night.

Today is a Damian day. Cady has a Mathletes competition that Janis wasn’t allowed to attend, so Janis gets to invite him over. Damian immediately pulls out a thick script and asks her to help him with his lines.

Janis does happily, curling up next to him on her bed and going off. Damian complains when she keeps giggling at his acting, but they make it through the first act mostly unscathed.

“D, can I ask you something?” Janis asks now that they’re taking a break, hanging off the side of the bed and looking around the room upside-down. Damian flops next to her and does the same.

“Sure.”

“When Caddy and I first met you, you said you had history with Regina,” Janis says. “But she’s not in our history class. What did you mean?”

“Oh,” Damian says. “No, I meant, like, personal history. Drama. We were friends in elementary school. We had dance classes together and stuff. Karen and Gretchen came along a little later and we were all buds. And then I came out as trans in middle school.”

Janis remembers seeing that term when she was researching the LGBT+ community online. She suddenly realizes this story is more personal than she originally anticipated.

“Regina was… not nice about it,” Damian continues after a shaky breath. “We were twelve. She already had some issues and stuff, and I’m honestly not sure she knew what trans meant. Not completely, anyway. She asked me what I thought I was, and I said that I knew I was a boy. And then she just kind of laughed and left me alone. I got to school the next day and there were a bunch of slurs carved into my locker. And suddenly the whole school knew.”

“Oh, Damian,” Janis mumbles. Damian cuddles closer into her when she reaches out. Janis has to hold herself back from unleashing her true form on Regina George and cooking her to a crisp. “That bitch. I’m so sorry.”

“It was what it was,” Damian shrugs. “Anyway, I didn’t know… what to do, really. I thought she would at least be willing to hear me out, learn with me. Still be my friend. But she never talked to me again. I turned around when I saw my locker and ran all the way back home. My mom took me out of school for the rest of the year and I got to go to this drama camp therapy place instead. And then I came back to school as a sophomore. And then this year I met you guys.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Janis murmurs. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Janjan,” Damian says quietly. “Can you only grant Caddy’s wishes or do I get one too?”

“I might be able to pass something on,” Janis chuckles.

“All I’ve wanted from Regina since then is an apology,” Damian says. “Just one genuine ‘I’m sorry’. I don’t even want to see her get, like, hit by a bus or anything anymore. Just that.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Janis whispers. She doesn’t have the heart to tell him it doesn’t quite work that way. But she’ll be damned if she won’t try. “In the meantime, we’re here for you. Cady loves you too, I know. You should tell her too, whenever you feel ready. She’ll support you.”

“Thanks, Jan,” Damian whispers. “Woo, this got too deep, come dance with me.”

Janis happily stands up and does their favorites dances with him. Cady joins in when she gets home, and they have their best sleepover yet. It’s a perfect day.

—————

“Janis?” Cady calls as she enters their shared room on a Thursday. Janis looks up from her easel to see her. “I have a competition tomorrow, do you want to come?”

“Yes,” Janis says immediately. She’s wanted to go to one of Cady’s Mathletes competitions since she first joined the team in the fall, but the opportunity never came up.

“Okay. What are you up to?” Cady says, coming to peek at her painting in progress. “Aww, is that us?”

Janis nods, letting her look at the vaguely abstract painting of their ‘art freak’ trio. She decides against letting her know it’s a goodbye present. That can wait.

“How sweet,” Cady says. “You’ve really improved, wow.”

“Thanks,” Janis murmurs. “How was practice?”

“Good! I think we’re ready,” Cady chirps. “Tomorrow is our biggest competition though, so I’m not sure.”

“You’ll do great,” Janis says confidently.

“Thanks, Jay,” Cady responds with a grin.

The next day after school, Janis heads to the auditorium to watch Cady compete. Cady had to wear her uniform to school, and she looks so cute in it that Janis had to walk to class alone to avoid pulling her aside and confessing everything.

She finds a seat close to the front, and on the opposite side to Cady so they can see each other easily. Janis smiles seeing her interact with her teammates. She’s glad Cady has made more friends. It’ll make things easier for both of them when it’s time for Janis to go.

—-

Cady laughs and jokes with her teammates before warm up, but she’s slyly looking for Janis too. She’s scanning the crowd for that familiar part-blonde hair.

She doesn’t find it until they head to their spots at the podium. Cady perks up when she sees her friend and waves happily, laughing when Janis waves back and gives her two thumbs up.

Cady realizes the issue a few equations in. She knows the work and how to do it, but she’s so distracted looking at Janis in the crowd that she almost misses the time. Focus, Cady.

But Janis has the widest smile on her face, watching Cady in her element, that Cady can hardly bear to look away. She shakes her head to try and snap herself back into the competition.

After a while Kevin notices her distraction, and he isn’t pleased. He looks up with her to see what she’s looking at. “Yo, Africa, get your head in the game. Talk to your girlfriend later.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Cady hisses, but she does blush rather violently.

“Could’ve fooled me,” Kevin whispers back.

Cady grumbles nonsense under her breath and scratches down her thinking for the problem. This time she does make it and hits her buzzer to answer first. She’s tied the game. The competition goes into a lightning round, and, as always, her team picks her as their tribute.

Cady looks out to see Janis for a confidence boost, smiling when she sees Janis waving wildly at her and beaming proudly. God, why does she have to be so cute?

She doesn’t notice her time has started until almost half of it is gone, with her teammates yelling at her from behind. She scrambles to grab her pencil and tries to remember what she’s looking for in the first place. Janis, her mind supplies helpfully. Not helpful.

Luckily, the problem is on the screen behind the announcer. Find the limit. She looks back to her math again and continues penciling down her thinking, but the girl across from her slams her buzzer first.

“Shuck,” Cady grumbles under her breath as she gives her answer. Luckily, it’s incorrect and Cady has a chance to steal. “Oh!”

She feels a warm sensation in her head and faintly hears a, “You can do it.” Janis is cheering her on psychically. Cady looks again and realizes something.

“The limit does not exist!” She yells as she slams her buzzer so hard she almost breaks it. The boys erupt into cheers when the announcer reveals she’s correct and has won the event for them.

The audience breaks into polite applause as she shakes her opponent’s hand. Cady laughs as she hears a loud, “Woo!” That definitely came from Janis.

“Is that your girlfriend?” Tyler asks, pointing to the crowd.

“No! Why does everyone keep asking that?” Cady huffs. “She’s just a friend.”

“Then why are you blushing?” Marwan teases.

“Oooooooh, Africa’s crushiiiiiiiiing,” Kevin adds childishly. Cady blushes harder.

“No I’m not!”

“Dude, you were staring at her the whole competition, you almost lost it because of her,” Kevin says, suddenly much more serious. “You so are.”

“Okay, fine,” Cady admits squeakily. “Maybe I am crushing. Just a little.”

“Aww, our baby Mathlete has a crush!” Tyler coos. “And on a girl!”

Cady thinks they’d really get along with Damian. “Yeah, okay, laugh it up. But none of you say anything, I don’t think she likes me back.”

“I don’t know, she never stopped looking at you, either,” Marwan says. “It’s worth a shot.”

“Really?” Cady asks shyly. “No. Never mind. I’ll think about it.”

“We’ll take it,” Kevin says. “She’s probably waiting, you should go.”

“You guys won’t tell anyone?” Cady asks anxiously.

“‘Course not,” Tyler insists. “Go celebrate, Africa.”

Cady grins shyly. “Thanks, guys. Good competition, I’ll see you Monday.”

Janis meets her in the parking lot afterwards, startling Cady by scooping her up from behind and spinning her around.

“You won!” Janis cheers happily, wrapping her in the tightest hug Cady thinks she’s ever been in. “I’m so proud of you!”

Cady giggles in her hold. “Thanks, Jay. Did you like watching? I hope you weren’t bored.”

“No, it was fun! You’re very smart,” Janis says, linking their hands together as they start their walk home.

“You have all my knowledge too, you’re smart,” Cady says.

“I may have all the knowledge, but that sure as hell doesn’t mean I know how to use it,” Janis chuckles.

“That’s fair, I guess,” Cady chuckles. “God, I’m tired. I don’t wanna walk. Janis, carry me.”

“Okay,” Janis shrugs. Cady shrieks when she’s suddenly lifted off the ground and being carried baby-style back home. “What?”

“I was joking,” Cady chuckles anxiously. “I didn’t think you could actually carry me. I’m just surprised.”

“Do you want me to put you down?” Janis asks.

“I didn’t say that,” Cady murmurs. Janis chuckles as she cuddles into her neck and stays there the rest of their journey home.

Cady truly can sleep anywhere, because she falls asleep in Janis’ hold before they even reach their block. Janis helpfully carries her up the stairs and tucks her into bed, but she doesn’t manage to do it without waking her up.

“Don’t go,” Cady grumbles groggily, clinging to her hand.

“Okay,” Janis murmurs, crawling in after her and letting Cady snuggle into her again. Cady huffs contently. Janis is so soft and warm.

“Tell me a story.”

“About what?” Janis asks.

“I dunno,” Cady yawns. “What was your life like before you came to Earth?”

Janis nods. “Okay. I actually don’t think you’ll find it particularly interesting. I’m kind of like an intern there, I’m not old enough to really be a guardian star on my own. So I meet with the council periodically to discuss how I’m doing, and they tell me what events or other things to watch for while I observe you. Or help me grant your wishes.”

“Council?” Cady asks. She doesn’t even open her eyes.

“That’s the best way I can describe it. Elder stars, or ones that have more experience. Actually, your sun and the one you humans call Sirius are kind of like co-presidents. Council is in charge of carrying out fates, and they give final say on what wishes go through.”

“I never got anything I wished for,” Cady grumbles.

“I am sorry about that,” Janis murmurs. “They don’t work quite the way you would think. We can’t grant them literally, or you humans would realize there’s a sort of higher power at work. So when you wished for a pet cat when you were eight? I sort of… stepped in, and got those twin lion cubs to imprint on you. That’s as close as I was allowed to get.”

“I did love them,” Cady whispers. “Keep going.”

“Okay,” Janis chuckles. “Um… council also decides what happens to stars once their destinies are either fulfilled or broken. Shooting stars are the ones who get exiled for good. It’s sort of like death, but not. Every once in a while they decide who goes supernova, or who forms a black hole, things like that. I’m not sure why they decided to grant your wish literally this time. Or with me. But I’m glad they did.”

Cady puffs contently in her sleep once Janis stops talking. Janis takes that to mean that she’s glad too.

—————

Cady has definitely noticed a shift in Janis’ energy over the last while. Janis doesn’t talk as much, or smile as much. She seems to be making an effort to be with Cady and Damian as much as possible. Cady worries, but Janis promised to tell her if something was wrong.

So, they get ready for Damian’s show together. Janis looks dashing in her floral patterned dress and leather jacket, and Cady nearly matches in her own black dress and pink sweater. They’re opposites, but still go together. It’s rather fitting.

They head in together, holding hands as the house lights go down. They don’t let go.

Damian is a marvelous performer. Cady and Janis cheer by far the loudest when his curtain call comes, but it’s hard to tell over the applause of the rest of the crowd.

They meet him in the wings and hand over the flowers they bought on the way there.

“Dame, you were incredible!” Cady cheers, throwing herself at him for a hug. He catches her and holds her close happily.

“She’s right, it was killer,” Janis agrees. She knows she sounds rather melancholy and tries to keep that out of her voice. “Proud of you, dude.”

“Thank you,” Damian says happily. “Let’s go celebrate.”

He takes them to Waffle House for dinner. Cady is delighted, and Janis is cheered up a little just watching her with her favorite food. Her plan was to leave tonight. Maybe she can wait until tomorrow.

Janis snaps out of her thoughts for the time being and chats animatedly with her friends. They watch horror movies in their pajamas back at Damian’s house for a sleepover. Cady hides in Janis’ lap the whole time. Janis doesn’t mind.

Janis doesn’t sleep, either. Cady is snuggled into her chest, snoring quietly. Janis kisses her forehead, and the corners of Cady’s mouth tick up in a little smile. Cady cuddles in closer and snuffles contently. Janis stays awake to watch her all night.

Janis can’t bring herself to say goodbye. It’s not as if she wants to leave the only… family that she’s ever known. But she has to. Janis leaves the letters with each of her friends and heads into the woods nearby before they wake.

Cady wakes with a start. Janis is gone.

There’s a letter where she was when Cady drifted off in her warm, soft hold. Cady tears into the one addressed to her.

Cady,

I’m sorry. If you’re reading this then I’m gone.

I don’t belong here, I think you and I both know that. I need to go back. I think I granted your wish well enough. And now you have Damian. I know he’ll stick by you through anything, like you wanted.

Thank you for being my friend. I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better human to be assigned to. Even without my intervention, you’re number one. Keep that going. Keep being you.

I wish I could stay longer, but if I wait any more it’ll be too late. I’m already fading. You wanted to know why my hair turned brown. It changed color because I’m becoming human. I think I have you to thank for that. If I could stay it would’ve been a good thing. Because one of the most human things is to love.

Thank you for showing me what that means. Even though I practically forced my presence into your life, you accepted me with open arms. You treated me like a friend. You helped me adapt to a place I never imagined I would see. Thank you.

I love you so much, Cady. I wish I could’ve told you in person. I wish I could’ve known what it’s like to kiss you, to feel your touch. To hold you close and call you mine. But it would be too hard to leave you if you knew how I feel. You’ll find someone else. I know you will. I just hope you’re happy at the end of the day, my little bird.

I’ll always remember you. If you ever get lonely, you know where to find me. I’ll be there to watch over you, always. I love you.

Shine bright for me, little star.

Love,

Janis

Cady bursts into tears when she reaches the end of the letter, startling Damian awake.

“Wuzzamatter?” He asks blearily. “Where’s Janis?”

“She’s gone,” Cady sobs. “She said she has to go back.”

“No,” Damian says, scrambling for his own letter. “She can’t be gone.”

“She didn’t even say goodbye,” Cady weeps. “And-and I never got to tell her how much I love her.”

“You guys have a-a link, right?” Damian asks frantically. “Maybe she hasn’t left yet, maybe-maybe we can talk her out of it.”

Cady needs a miracle right now. She focuses hard and turns the connection on, like Janis taught her to. Almost like a compass points north, she feels a compulsion to go west, towards the woods nearby.

“She’s that way, if she’s still here,” Cady sniffles, pointing to the wall. “Come on.”

Damian runs after her barefoot, both of them still in their pajamas. They run almost ten blocks, then hit the edge of the woods. Both of them desperately ignore the rocks and sticks poking their feet as they run into the forest.

A blinding light shines through the trees, and they both wince for a second. Are they too late?

“She’s this way, come on!” Cady yells, running full tilt into the light. “Janis!”

They suddenly burst into a clearing, and Janis lies in the middle. Her light surrounds her, and she seems to be floating.

“Janis!” Cady yells. “Wait, please! Don’t leave! Janis!”

Janis doesn’t react. Cady doesn’t know if she can’t hear her, or if she just won’t. As quick as they noticed it, the light fades, and Janis is gone.

“No,” Cady whimpers. “No, no, please.”

She stumbles forward to where Janis was, frantically feeling around in the grass and mud for any sign of her. All that’s left is ash.

Damian lets her cry and scream for a while before he comes to pick her up and guide her back home. “I know, Cads. I know. She’s still-she’s still here. She’s just back in the sky now. Where she belongs.”

Cady clings to him and sobs, so Damian picks her up to carry her away.

Cady pauses her desperate cries when a warm sensation hits her. She opens her eyes and is nearly blinded by another flood of light. “Janis.”

She scrambles out of Damian’s hold and runs back to the clearing. The light is so bright it hurts, but Cady presses on.

Just like the first time, Janis lies in the grass bathed in warm light. She’s not breathing, but her eyes suddenly shoot open and she gasps for breath. But this time she starts to cry.

“Janis,” Cady cries desperately. Janis quickly condenses her aura so Cady isn’t burned when she leaps into her. “What happened?”

“Cady,” Janis sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why did you leave?” Cady demands gently. “Why-why didn’t you even say goodbye?”

“It hurt too much,” Janis chokes. “To know-to know I’d never see you again. I had to do it while I had the nerve.”

“And you-you didn’t think I’d miss you? You didn’t think I would want to say goodbye?” Cady sobs.

“I’m sorry,” Janis whispers, pulling her in. “I’m so sorry.”

Cady accepts the offered comfort and sobs into Janis’ shoulder for a long time. Janis lets her, and buries her own face into Cady’s neck. After a while, Cady chokes, “Why did you come back?”

“It’s not important,” Janis says immediately.

“Yes it is, Janis! I’m happy you’re back, but you can’t keep lying to me,” Cady insists. “Or yourself. What happened?”

“I… I’ve been kicked out,” Janis mumbles. “For good this time. I can’t-I can’t get back.”

“Oh, Jay,” Cady whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

Janis breaks down even harder, clinging to her and mourning the loss of her true home. Cady watches as her hair changes color for the final time, half dark brown and half her original platinum blonde. Half human, half star. Janis’ eyes glow briefly before fading to a gorgeous chocolate brown, and the jewels she’s made from her aura turn heavy. The transformation is complete.

“I’m so sorry,” Janis whimpers. Cady cups her face and looks into her eyes. They can both barely see through their tears, but neither of them care.

“Just don’t leave again,” Cady murmurs softly.

“I can’t, now,” Janis jokes weakly. She’s silenced by a glare from the redhead straddling her lap. “I won’t. I didn’t-I didn’t want to in the first place. I just knew I had to try. And I… I meant what I said. In the letter. Every word.”

“Good,” Cady whispers around a small sob. “Because I mean this.”

Janis gasps quietly as Cady pulls her in and slams their lips together. Cady kisses her hungrily, desperately, telling her everything they both need to hear without words. Janis can feel her soft but firm grip, can taste the salt of their tears mingling on their lips. She can hear the soft sniffles let out intermittently, can reach out to touch and pull her redhead closer, she can smell Cady’s cherry shampoo.

Janis has never felt more human.

Cady pulls back and tips her forehead to rest against Janis’. “I love you. I love you so much, my star.”

“I love you too, my little bird,” Janis murmurs. “So much.”

“You’re smiling,” Cady says with slight confusion.

“I’m happy,” Janis responds with a shrug. “Maybe I can’t go home anymore, but… I have you. I get to learn what it’s like to love you. You’re my home now. All I’ll ever need.”

Cady chokes out a sob and kisses her again. “I’ll help you. I’ll guide you like you did for me. We have each other.”

Damian comes bursting into the clearing then, dripping wet and panting slightly. Janis gently removes Cady from her lap and runs full tilt towards him.

He catches her with a small grunt, but holds her close. “You’re back.”

“Forever,” Janis confirms. “I’m sorry.”

“The only thing you have to apologize for is that fucking light of yours,” Damian grumbles. “I couldn’t see when you came back and I fell in the pond.”

So that’s why it had taken him so long to find them. “I’m sorry about that, too.”

“You’d better be,” Damian huffs. “What happened?”

Janis turns to look at her love, who is now lying on her stomach and chatting animatedly with a squirrel. Janis doesn’t think her old star magic had anything to do with it, that kind of thing just seems inherent to Cady.

“She happened,” Janis whispers. “She’s been the answer from the beginning. I just know it now.”

Cady looks up when she feels their gaze on her, smiling when she sees Janis. She comes running towards them when Janis reaches out for her. They hear a quiet gasp when they both lean in for a kiss.

“What happened, Dame?” Cady asks worriedly when they pull back.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Damian grumbles. “Can we get you lovebirds home so I can dry off?”

“Yeah, come on,” Cady chuckles. She stands in the middle and holds both of their hands, clinging to Janis especially tightly. They leave Damian at his house with the promise to meet again for lunch before heading back to their own.

Cady lies down on her bed, exhausted from the morning, and pulls Janis down with her. Janis falls with a gentle huff and cuddles in closer.

“Jay?” Cady murmurs against her chest.

“Hmm?”

“Why did you get kicked out?”

“The first time, I didn’t know. I was never great at being a star either, I thought council deciding to grant your wish with me meant I was being fired, basically,” Janis chuckles. “That’s why I was so crabby. I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

“And this time?” Cady asks quietly.

“Because I was meant to,” Janis says, stroking through Cady’s hair gently. “All along.”

“Huh?”

“Stars work a little differently from humans,” Janis says. “We have destinies, fates we have to fulfill. We’re kind of like puppets, in a weird way. We don’t even get to know our own destinies. Humans don’t have them, you’re- we’re- free to make our own decisions. Every once in a while a star just grants a wish to give you a little nudge in the right direction.”

“So… your destiny was to-“ Cady stumbles.

“To be with you,” Janis finishes. “From the moment the universe was created, we were destined to be together. I just didn’t know it until now.”

“So we’re like soulmates?” Cady asks, tipping up to look at her. Janis presses a sweet kiss against her lips before she answers.

“Kind of,” Janis agrees. “But it was never foretold what our relationship was meant to be. We could’ve stayed friends, or been… enemies, or just strangers who met in passing. You could’ve kicked me out when I showed up in the backyard and that would’ve been that. Or you could’ve waited to make that wish until you were eighty years old, we’ll never know. All that was ever dictated was that we meet and I stay near you. Falling in love was our doing. And now that I’m a human, I don’t have a destiny anymore. I’ve been fulfilled. I make my own life. The rest is up to us, now.”

Cady blinks at her. “Then I’m glad it turned out this way. I love you.”

“Me too, my little star,” Janis murmurs back. “Me too.”

I love you more than all the stars in the sky.

thanks for reading!! i apparently have hit the maximum number of text blocks (tumblr, ew) so get ready for a text block!! in some sad news, there will not be a new chapter next week. i need to take some time for myself for the sake of my own mental health. i’ve noticed a few little inklings of burnout, which is not what i want!! i want to continue this and give you guys quality stuff to read. im hoping that this will give me a chance to build up a cache of works so i’m not scrambling to write in a week to get stuff posted, and that will give me more time for myself. in some bittersweet news, this is also my last (for now) original idea! from here on i’ll be reliant on requests to keep going. im gonna finish some older ones and then hopefully, finally, open them up again!! yay! anyway, thank you all so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed!! lots of love, ezzy

#cadnis #paint by numbers #space safari #cady heron x janis sarkisian #cady x janis #cady heron #janis sarkisian #damian hubbard #regina george #gretchen wieners #karen smith #mean girls #mean girls musical #mean girls broadway

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princesssarcastia · 3 years

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so i’m re-watching the nolan!verse batman movies—actually, just dark knight and dark knight rises, because I have issues with batman begins (starting with how much younger rachel is than bruce and ending with the fact that they made ra’s al ghul (ghuel?) white in a non-critical manner))

and like they’re fucking grimdark, obv, and bruce wayne being a slightly misogynistic loner with no friends or family is my least favorite interpretation of him. but they scratch a few very specific itches that I have, and they also like. inspire a lot of thought:

rich assholes getting their comeuppance? excellent. dagget (in DKR) is a real punch-able asshole and bane snaps his neck like a twig, but only after this exchange: he gets real fucking close to dagget like implying he’s going to physically hurt him, and dagget says, “i’ve paid you a small fortune” and then bane says, “and this gives you power over me?” and then, snaps his neck. gotta love it.

actually bane’s got a lot of anti-capitalist rhetoric, which of course they could only give to the villain, but still. and the scene where he tears down the dent act (which was appalling) and blows up a prison is also like, kinda cool. even if bane was a weird terrible character.

that’s kind of a theme in the trilogy though? like obviously the joker sucks™, but that one comment about how a “gangbanger” dies and nobody panics, but he threatens to kill one little mayor and everybody loses their minds, is...hmm. striking.

and heath leger’s performance as the joker is still top ten ever. regardless of your thoughts on the content of that performance, leger still inhabits it like a second skin. he’s utterly convincing and utterly unhinged and I still like it. I know that’s like an edgelord opinion but I admired edgelord-leger-joker before the irl edgelords did, so its fine

i fucking love anne hathaway’s catwoman. i love it. she’s phenomenal. she wears knife high heels longer than my index finger and steals from the rich and its implied that she gives a lot of it away to people who need it. and also I stand by my headcanon that she didn’t go back for bruce, she went back to help him save gotham, because she loves their city just as much as he does.

i think pre-two-face harvey dent was also very enjoyable. he’s an asshole. he’s a golden haired crusading asshole with too much pride who cared too much about the wrong things and he’s like. one of my favorite parts of the trilogy.

there’s a fascinating mix of excellent criticism of policing in the u.s. and pure copaganda in these films. like batman begins and the dark knight make it pretty clear that the police force are little more than another kind of mob, who do a lot of harm to the whole city, and jim gordon and john blake are literally the only two cops worth a damn, and even they have issues. but then the last twenty minutes of dark knight rises are like pure copaganda. that whole “army of cops against an army of criminals” bullshit is pretty disgusting

also the fact that in dkr the u.s. government just....let.....bane..........hold an entire city hostage..............is so funny

the idea that fearing death is actually a good, powerful, driving force also makes me feel some kind of way. get the fuck out of here with this semi-suicidal batman bullshit, i only want batman who learns to live again by learning that he doesn’t actually want to die

the music? impeccable. imPECCABLE. hans zimmer is a god.

“death...by exile!” lmaooooo still fucking hilarious

the most interesting thing about these films, though, is their commentary about the surveillance state and the age of information. i honestly don’t think that they would make these movies with this message if they made them today.

the idea from dark knight that being able to collect personal data from people’s cell phones and use it to further private goals without those people’s knowledge or permission, is horrifying and should be stopped is a really powerful statement to make considering how much personal data corporations are collecting about each and every one of us.

and catwoman’s whole motivation in dkr is about how much personal information about our lives and our pasts are publicly available on the internet to anyone and can make it hard to start fresh and change who you are, to become better. this is also true, especially with the way mob mentality has taken over a significant portion of the internet

i know that there’s another post floating around comparing this to whatever the hell was happening in spiderman: far from home, and i agree with it wholeheartedly

#batman #dark knight #dark knight rises #catwoman #meta #dc

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licenselesswriter · 3 years

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Hey! I know you probably already answered everything in your head, but let's go... (this is not my revenge yet) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 18, 20, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 40, 43, 45, 46, 47, 49, 50, 51, 52, 54, 55, 57, 60, 61, 63, 66, 68, 69, 71, 72, 73, 74, 76, 77, 79, 82, 84, 85, 88, 89, 90, 91, 91, 93, 94, 95, 97, 100.

Well, you are Vengeance, you are the Night, you’re Batman LOL.

1. What is your middle name? As I said in a question before, my middle name is Hernán, which is a germanic name, a variation of Fernando, which means brave.

2. How old are you? Oh boy, I'm an old geezer who writes fanfics after and before his job, 32.

3. When is your birthday? August 22

4. What is your zodiac sign? I am a proud representative of the House of Leo.

5. What is your favorite color? Grey, I love grey, like fucking love that motherfucking neutral color LOL.

6. What’s your lucky number? 14 baby.

7. Do you have any pets? I do, a cat called Coshino.

8. Where are you from? I'm from the first country of South America, if you start from the south, Chile.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? shoes? technically, 1, the rest are all sneakers, which are, 2 running sneakers, 2 training sneakers, 3 party sneakers, and 6 basketball sneakers.

12. What was your last dream about? Uh, hard, I dreamed that my father was alive, not in a sweet and Mufasa way, but more in a "for some reason, I got a philosopher stone and revive my father using alchemy, without losing an arm or a leg" kinda way, it was cool.

13. What talents do you have? I love to say that my writing, but I kinda trained that skill, so I'm gonna go with like, blessings from God LOL. Cooking Baking Basketball Physics and last but not least, Math.

14. Are you psychic in any way? nope.

15. Favorite song? You did a top 5, so, now it's my turn. 5 - Backstreet Boys - I want it that way 4 - Anthony Ramos, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Jon Rua, Leslie Odom, Jr. & Original Broadway Cast of “Hamilton” - Ten Duel Commandments 3 - Panic at the Disco! - I write sins not tragedies 2 - Sabrina Carpenter - Alien 1 - Foo Fighters - Walk

16. Favorite movie? This one is easier, Coach Carter, I love that movie.

18. Do you want children? Hell yes, baby.

20. Are you religious? I am.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Yes, drinking in a public park, at 2 A.M. with a few friends.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 2 actually, I mean, Chilean Celebs, both during the year my Dad put me on Tennis classes, we receive a master class on doubles from Nicolas Massu and Fernando Gonzales, who won Gold on Athenas 2004 on doubles.

28. What type of music do you like? Just like Lou Bega on Mambo N°5, I'm like, a little bit of everything in my life, because music is love.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yes, and it's actually really comfortable.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? Over my belly.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 500 ml of a Raspberry, Celery, Banana, and Yogurt smoothie, bread with cheese, 500 ml of water, because you need to stay hydrated.

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, and it was awesome. Did I try to pull a "wanted" curve bullet? yes. Did I fail? yes to that too.

35. Have you ever tried archery? The main reason I was in the range, anime made me very interested in archery, which ends up in me practicing for a few years.

36. Favorite clean word? Food.

37. Favorite swear word? Motherfucker.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 3 days.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? No idea, if I had, then that person was really good on the secret part, because never had a clue, on the other side, I have the awareness of a rock when it comes to that kind of things.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I try, I fail to do, but I try LOL.

45. What is your favorite accent? Russian, for some reason, that feels like the coolest accent ever.

46. What is your personality type? ISTJ BABY!!! AGUANTE LA LOGICA HERMANO

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Tailored dark grey suit, with a tailored white shirt, a black tie, and a pair of cufflinks with the letter B on them.

49. Are you an innie or an outie? I guess this is for staying in or outside the house, right? Then I'm an Innie, I love to stay at home, watch movies and tv shows, like, that's the life.

50. Left or right-handed? both, ambidextrous

51. Are you scared of spiders? Yes, but I vowed my life to exterminate every one of those scary 8 legged bastards that ever cross my way, also, the main reason I would never put a foot in Australia.

52. Favorite food? To cook? Christmas Turkey To eat? Fried Chicken.

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I'm messy, but I do my best, does that count?

55. Most used phrased? Life's not fair, it's just life.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 7 minutes.

60. Do you talk to yourself? I do, that's also, one of my writing methods LOL

61. Do you sing to yourself? All-day.

63. Biggest Fear? Syringes.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I mean, both are cool, but since Tangled, I kinda enjoy long hair, like, it's really fun to braid it? my niece always asked, and I always refused, but after that movie, man, it's really relaxing and fun.

68. Favorite school subject? Math and Physics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert? IRL, introvert, Online, extrovert, makes sense?

71. What makes you nervous? Syringes

72. Are you scared of the dark? Nope, the best and funniest stories are made in the dark.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I do.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yes, I have.

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yes.

79. Who was your first real crush? I guess not a TV Show character, I even remember her name LOL her name was Cheryl, and her last name, I will leave that in mystery.

82. How fast can you type? If I know what I have to write, really fast.

84. What color is your hair? Brown

85. What color are your eyes? Brown

88. What do your parents do? Both my parents are teachers. My mom is an English Teacher, and my Father was a Math Teacher.

89. Do you like your age? Of course, I do, I loved every year I've been alive.

90. What makes you angry? People who always arrive late, like, for fuck's sake, it's no hard get in time to a place.

91. Do you like your own name? I do.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Both.

94. What are your strengths? Like Hal Jordan himself, my will, and like Lucas Friar, I'm also strong as a horse.

95. What are your weaknesses? Fear of failure.

97. Were your ancestor's royalty? Not royalty exactly, but my great grandfather was a count in France.

100. Color of your room? Grey baby

#Licenseless Answers

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getalittleclosey · 4 years

Text

under 100k larry fic recs

hi! i’m becca and i read...so much fic. these rec lists are an accumulation of fic that i’ve read or reread and extra loved from 2016-now. there’s a wide range of stuff here and i think there’s definitely something for everyone!! i divided them up by length so you can check out all those categories below!

please make sure to read tags and warnings on all these fics!! the only things i think i can guarantee is that these are all larry, there’s no non-con, no age play, no eating disorders, no mentions of bg, they end happy, and they’re mostly aus. oh and they’re all on ao3 and some are locked so you’ll need an account! anyway i hope y’all enjoy!!!

under 5k

under 10k

under 25k

under 50k

100k+

☆ somethin’ bout you by missandrogyny 60k

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

☆ tug-of-war by cherrystreet 63k

Louis' husband dies suddenly and he is left with nothing. Well, not really nothing. He has Harry. And a St. Bernard puppy named Link, whom his late husband left behind for him. Louis takes care of Link and Harry takes care of Louis. Everything is okay until suddenly, it isn't.

☆ cameras flashing by juliusschmidt 82k

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

☆ home to you by crowsonthewire 54k

“If someone wrote that for me I’d probably be a crying mess before it was even over. I’m crying a little right now actually.”

It’s about you, Harry’s brain screamed. I wrote it about you.

Gemma appeared in the doorway then and dragged Louis away. With one winking smile he was gone. Harry curled up and stuffed his face into his duvet so he could cry with no one hearing.

**** At fifteen, Harry wrote his first song for an oblivious seventeen year old Louis Tomlinson. Ten years later he’s a singer/songwriter who cant find any words for his second album and Louis is a closeted actor tired of LA.

They both try to run from the things weighing them down and in the process, they find each other.

☆ fate don’t know you by sincewewereeighteen 99k

“Just. How bad is it?”

Zayn sighs. Shit.

“Not that bad, really,” he says quickly as he scans Louis’ face. “It depends, really. The freshmen are all right and I think you’ll manage just fine with the sophomores.”

“But?”

“Seniors are always shit because they think they rule the school, and this specific class of juniors… Well, let’s say you’ll find a real troublemaker there. Some say he used to be a soft kid, but- I don’t know. Most teachers just leave him alone.” Zayn shrugs. “He walks around with a tough crowd. Guess no one wants to take their chances with him. This is Chicago after all.”

“D’you know the name of the kid?” Louis asks, already very curious to meet said person.

“His name is Harry Styles.” The other man responds. “You’re in for a treat with this one.”

[Or: The one in which Louis always hears thunder when Harry speaks and sees lightning when he glances at him.]

note: this is student/teacher so if that makes you uncomfortable please skip! harry’s 17 but he is still a student so power unbalance and all that but from what i remember it was tastefully done. just like....don’t do that irl obv jfkdaj

☆ like an endless summer by objectlesson 87k

“You just wanna go fawn over Styles as soon as possible,” Zayn grumbles.

“I do not. Plus, he probably got ugly this year. Eighteen is an awkward time...I bet he’s got acne and one of those terrible fuckboy haircuts all the hipsters are getting these days, with the shaved sides? Just watch, the first year we’re gonna get any time together is gonna be the first year I don’t have a stupid crush on him.”

---

Or, Louis is a riding instructor at a summer camp, and Harry is a fellow counselor who he’s been successfully managing his crush on for the last two summers. That is, until Harry shows up this year leveled up and lethal, and all Louis’s formerly perfected veneer of nonchalance melts like a popsicle in the sun.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 6k of pwp

☆ back to how it was by lululawrence 53k

Harry carefully stood up and was on his way to the window to look outside when he ran his hand through his hair, and it stopped entirely too soon.

He froze then began fervently patting all over his head. Where was his hair? He’d been growing it out for a couple of years now and it was finally almost to the length he’d had as a goal the entire time. How could it have gotten cut off overnight?

Harry rushed over to the mirror hung on the wall adjacent to the window.

Oh shit. What the hell was happening? Harry leaned closer and saw that not only was his hair cropped shorter than he’d ever wanted to go again, but it looked like he had the beginning of crow’s feet by his eyes. Those definitely weren’t there yesterday! And what happened to his tattoos? He still had some of them, like the star and the letters he’d gotten for his mum and Gemma, but most of the rest were missing and there were a few he’d never seen before instead.

What. The. Fuck.

Or the one where Harry goes to bed angry with his bandmates and wakes up in a universe where One Direction was never formed and he has to find a way back home. Home definitely has nothing to do with his best friend and bandmate, Louis. That would be ridiculous.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 24k!

☆ when we were younger by dinosaursmate 76k

About a week after Harry started visiting this particular chat room, he was watching some kid argue with the whole room about football, personally disinterested as he tipped a bag of crisps into his mouth. He happily chomped on the crumbs, taking a swig from a glass of Ribena to wash them down, glancing at the screen and very nearly spat the squash back out again. His heart was pounding wildly. The display icon of the argumentative newcomer had caught his eye, and not in a good way. He gulped as he clicked the picture, and when it popped up in full resolution, his heart nearly fell right out of his arse. - Sixteen year old Harry Styles’ world turns upside down when he logs on to gay teen chat to discover somebody has stolen his photos and used them as their own.

note: there’s a second part that’s 3k ziam centric

extra note: you don’t want to know how many episodes of catfish i’ve seen

☆ like cabbages and kings by you_explode 61k

When Louis was a kid, he had a series of very vivid dreams about a place called Wonderland. There were rabbits wearing waistcoats and talking cats and ridiculous tea parties, and amidst all the absurdity, there was a boy. A boy with dimples, big green eyes and the sweetest soul Louis has ever known. Louis has always kept a place in his heart for that boy and for his funny dreamworld, and when he’s twenty-five and his life falls apart, it turns out Wonderland might not be so imaginary after all.

☆ knives don’t have your back by turnyourankle 51k

The lone survivor of an on campus massacre that claimed the lives of his four housemates, Harry is urged to take a sabbatical or transfer. Instead, he chooses to stay in school, move into the dorms, and overcome his fears.

He finds comfort in a budding friendship with Louis, an upperclassman who lives on his floor, not realizing that their relationship will bring him closer to his traumatizing past rather than further from it.

☆ loving you is free by littlelouishiccups 68k

Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn't been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

note: there are two other parts to this that are pretty much pwp. they’re 24k and 4k

☆ dance to the distortion by lis (domesticharry) 93k

Louis accidentally breaks Harry's camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.

☆ waiting on you by emma1234 77k

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

note: there’s a second part to this that’s 5k

☆ this wicked game by cherrystreet 70k

An AU in which The Bachelor is gay, Louis is a contestant, Harry is the bachelor, everyone drinks a lot of champagne, the entire world gets to watch them fall in love, and no one plays by the rules.

note: i’ve seen maybe five episodes of the bachelor in my life and hated it but i have read every larry bachelor fic

☆ coax the cold by mediawhore 86k

England, 1897.

English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.

☆ this feeling by orphan_account 59k

"Gonna play it back for you now." Louis clicked play and the song flooded through Harry’s headphones.

The sound of each others voices united into one, and the rhythm of the music carried their voices effortlessly. Harry’s insides tingled and a wave of shivers rolled down his spine.

Before the clip cut off, Harry turned to raise an eyebrow at Louis, and failed miserably at disguising his smile. Louis stared back at him in shock.

Or A Larry Duet AU

☆ love’s on the line, is that your final answer? by pearlydewdrops 53k

Harry can’t believe it when Louis, the boy he’s always had a tempestuous rivalry with, asks him to be his boyfriend. Well, pose as his boyfriend, that is—for a new television game show in which young couples are quizzed on how well they know each other for a jackpot of thirty grand.

Reluctantly, Harry agrees—because he's got student loans to pay off, hasn't he? What's the harm? And he can totally deal with keeping his secret thing for Louis under wraps too. This is all just to win some money. It's fine. No big deal. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, everything. Obviously.

☆ say your prayers by nothing_but 59k

Louis was left wondering what the fuck this encounter had been. Coming to this camp - especially after learning that it was a religious one - he had never expected to find himself in a bathroom with the attractive, strictly Catholic, not-gay-or-anything head counsellor making flirty remarks. Quite the opposite, to be honest.

Or the one where Harry, head counsellor at a Catholic summer camp, dedicates his time to what he loves most, year after year. It’s mostly the same every summer; the place, the topics, the games. This year, however, there’s a new assistant counsellor stumbling into his camp, and possibly his heart.

☆ i’ll crash until you notice me by stylinsoncity 61k

Louis sets off to Barbados to oversee the massive resort his family owns known as Sandy Hill. For years, he's been looking for a change in the monotony of his life, seeking adventure and perhaps love too. What he doesn't expect is the bright eyed boy who spills a milkshake on his shoes.

Cue the summer loving.

note: zendaya is listed as a character in this which desperately makes me want to reread it because i don’t remember that!!!

☆ nothing but you on my mind by nonsensedarling 84k

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

☆ ghost note symphony by whoknows 96k

Louis is on tour when he first hears about it. It’s all over the news – Harry Styles Attacked By Fan runs in headlines for days. It’s not even just the gossip rags, either. Actual journalists are covering the story. It would have been impossible to avoid hearing about it. Technically, Oli is the one who tells Louis about it, but it’s not exactly being covered up. Harry doesn’t answer Louis’ text asking if he’s alright, but that’s not really surprising. They haven’t spoken for months, and it’s been a lot longer than that since they’ve had a real conversation. The sting of the text going unanswered is still there, less painful than it might have been a few years ago.

It’s not that it’s easy to forget about, exactly. Louis has a whole life outside of One Direction now, though. So Louis goes on with his life, figuring that if Harry was seriously hurt he would have heard about it by now. He might currently be in the same country as Harry, but being on opposite sides of it puts enough distance between them that putting it in the back of his mind is easy. There’s nothing Louis could do, even if he thought Harry might want him to.

That’s why everything that happens next comes as a complete shock to him.

☆ thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in by nonsense_darling 52k

Harry's alpha fraternity donates to a local thrift shop (because of Liam's latent crush on a cute beta in his lecture). Louis' financial situation (and confusing omega instincts) lead him to make some interesting fashion purchases. Lots of pizza, feelings, and not-really-lying.

☆ here in the afterglow by fondleeds 89k

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

note: i can’t believe i waited until 2020 to read this...it was life changing tbh and i cried

☆ just call me inspiration by hereforlou 52k

The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.

(Or, the one where Louis is a writer, Harry is an art student, and they inspire each other in very different ways.)

☆ truly, madly, deeply (10 things i hate about you) by sunsetmog 54k

The first Louis had heard of Harry auditioning for X Factor was the night he'd turned up on Louis' doorstep the day before leaving for Boot Camp, with a DVD and an illicit bottle of vodka.

Thing was, Louis hated secrets, and he really hated being made a fool of, and he really, really hated Harry Styles.

or: the one in which they're all in sixth form together, and Harry auditions for X Factor without them.

note: this has always been a fav

☆ the impossible now by stylinsoncity 65k

A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

☆ swallow the knife by whoknows 76k

“You came,” Louis says, still breathless, clinging to Harry, uncaring that his sweat is getting all over Harry’s presumably clean dad shirt, or that he’s making Harry hold up all of his weight.

“Of course I came,” Harry says. He shifts, one arm curled underneath Louis’ arse, the other spreading wide in the middle of Louis’ back. “If I ignored you every time you pissed me off we would have stopped being friends a long time ago.”

Louis already knows that, of course. It doesn’t do anything to stop the pleased squirm in his belly every time Harry proves it, though. They fight like nobody’s business, both of them too stubborn to pull their punches when they’re arguing, and it used to get them in trouble, but they always make up.

Adrenaline makes Louis loose-lipped, and they both know it. He tightens his arms around Harry’s neck, buries his face in his hair. “I missed you,” he confesses, quiet. “Doesn’t feel the same up there by myself.”

note: i don’t even normally like non-aus but i have read this fic five times in the last nine months so. there’s that.

extra note: there’s an 11k alternate sex scene here

☆ perfect storm by cherrystreet 80k

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

☆ anyplace, anyhow, anytime by aimmyarrowshigh, colazitron 81k

Harry's going to audition for The X-Factor in a few days, he really can't use this persistent tickle in his throat. What's even worse is when the tickle turns into a full blown cough, and the cough makes him pass out only for Harry to wake up in a different world. And then another one, and another one, and another one. The only other person who seems to be as affected as he is, is a boy with blue eyes who keeps showing up in every single one of these worlds.

note: i reread all of aimmyarrowhigh’s larry fics this year including the 500k or whatever sheylinson verse and i thought about putting them all in here but like...felt excessive & i figured i’d give attention to a less well known one, plus this way we get colazitron too!

☆ the second hand unwinds by kingsofeverything (fullonlarry) 52k

Louis Tomlinson is one of the first members of NASA's top secret Chrono Exploration Program. When things go wrong and he's sent further back in time than planned, he has no other option than to show up on his ex-boyfriend's doorstep.

☆ waiting for the tides to meet by nauticalleeds (metamorphosis) 60k

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

☆ keep my candle bright by whisperdlullaby 79k

louis returns to his hometown after four years to find that the reverend’s son has done some growing up of his own.

☆ strawberries & cigarettes by dimpled_halo 77k

Harry looks up and immediately freezes. Next to Ms. Archie stands the boy from just the other day. The boy with the leather jacket and chipped black nails, that might or might not be sketched in the very book Harry has just placed on the table in front of him. The leather jacket is missing today, probably because they aren’t allowed as part of their required uniform attire, but Harry can still see the fading black nail polish on his nails, and eyeliner around his eyes. Harry’s mouth goes a little dry. This boy is so intriguing to him.

“Ye-yes, Ms. Archie?” Harry tries to play it cool, but he’s almost positive that his cheeks are burning red, and he’s relieved neither of them can tell how fast his heart is beating in his chest.

The boy seems to also recognize Harry, because his lips curve into a knowing smirk.

“Harry is at the top of his class. He’s your best bet at getting familiar with things around here.” She explains.

Louis nods, his smirk still very prominent on his face. “Thank you Ms. Archie. I’ll be sure to take advantage of young Harold here.”

Summary: Two stories, eleven years, and the two boys that never stopped loving each other.

#one direction #larry stylinson #fic rec #mine #getting those longer fics!!#33 of these wowie #fic masterpost

26 notes · View notes

dylinski · 4 years

Note

do 1-100, coward

I AM NO COWARD

anyone who actually reads through all this, god bless you. you can blame leigh @thessaia, i give you full authority.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

of those three, pandora. although, i prefer apple music.

2. is your room messy or clean?

LMFAO. CLEAN? I DON’T KNOW HER

3. what color are your eyes?

brown, but they’re lighter than that in the right light. almost a caramel with a dark chocolate ring on the outside.

4. do you like your name? why?

yeah, i don’t mind it. its always been there. lol i mean i used to have different nicknames or pretend to be other people. idk i told my parents when i was like five i was going to change my name to Felicia Franchesca Sarahmichelle Lynn. don’t ask. in fifth grade (before dylan o’brien was even famous) i begged my parents to call me dylan and refused to respond to any other name for like a year. also, don’t ask.

5. what is your relationship status?

single as dingle

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

CHAOTIC, SMARTASS, STABBY

7. what color hair do you have?

answered

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

kia forte, although my dad calls it an orte since the “f” is missing. funny story, i got pulled over and gave the dude my license and registration and shit but apparently, he didn’t look at it cause he put on the warning “orte” which i promptly laughed my ass off to. if he had given me a ticket i could have absolutely fought that bitch in court in won. SIR I DO NOT DRIVE AN ORTE. IS THAT ITALIAN? DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN AFFORD AN ITALIAN CAR? I DRIVE A FORTE SIR.

9. where do you shop?

ONLINE

10. how would you describe your style?

very idgaf

11. favorite social media account

tumblr

12. what size bed do you have?

full, it takes up my entire room so i couldn’t go bigger if i wanted to

13. any siblings?

answered

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

uk, always wanted to live there idk

15. favorite snapchat filter?

idk what its called but it has this higher temperature tone to it and gives me cute little freckles

16. favorite makeup brand(s)

i don’t wear make up, i used to use stilla (i think that’s how its spelled)

17. how many times a week do you shower?

i usually shower like every other day unless its hotter than a pair of saggy tits

18. favorite tv show?

that changes with the weather tbh. i can’t say i really have one. for a really long time it was supernatural though.

19. shoe size?

womans 11.5 (us) i think its a men’s 9?

20. how tall are you?

5′ 3″ or 160cm

21. sandals or sneakers?

sneakers. god i hate sandals.

22. do you go to the gym?

uh, no.

23. describe your dream date

answered

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

thats funny cause normally i don’t carry cash but i actually have $20 atm

25. what color socks are you wearing?

im not wearing any atm

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

answered x2

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

not technically? i’m an hourly temp but i hardly get any hours since i cover for the full-time employee.

28. how many friends do you have?

irl: 0 online: too many to count

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

oh god, i honest to god have no fucking clue. i don’t think about this stuff. i’ve done some stupid ass shit but my short term and long term memory are both shot to tits.

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

i think i answered this one for a different ask game. i hate most fragrances and artificial smells, even non-artifical ones. i got a sensitive sniffer. im chill with like vanilla though if its not too intense.

31. 3 favorite boy names

Dylan (not even cause dylan i’ve just always liked the name idk why), Jeremy, Jacob (the other two are random)

32. 3 favorite girl names

i know these are random as fuck, but i’ve always liked them so shoot me.

Andromeda, Persephone, Franchesca

33. favorite actor?

i like a lot of actors, way too many to fucking name and remember off the top of my noggin. for sanity’s sake, we’ll say dylan.

34. favorite actress?

god, again way too many to count. i can’t even think of any right now even though i know i have some. lets say Emily Hampshire

35. who is your celebrity crush?

answered36. favorite movie?

answered37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i would love to read but my adhd makes it really hard to concentrate. i’ll have periods of time where i’ll read a bunch its insane and then i’ll just kind of stop for a while idk. i always loved because of win-dixie or a wrinkle in time, bridge to terabithia, and american assassin.

38. money or brains?

brains, then you can work for the money and you know shit

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

sawahbwear, sassafras, whiskey, sar

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

good lord, i don’t even know. way too many. definitely more than ten.

41. top 10 favorite songs

answered42. do you take any medications daily?

not anymore, i kept forgetting to take them so it fucked me up not being on a regular dosage so i just stopped taking all of them.

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

see, im weird af. cause like my skin is oily af, but also fucking dry and i have shitty eczema 44. what is your biggest fear?

answered45. how many kids do you want?

idfk. i mean for as long as i can remember i always wanted them, but tbh idk if im the type of person to have any…

46. whats your go to hair style?

messy bun

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

small, row house

48. who is your role model?

dont have one.

49. what was the last compliment you received?

probably from michelle i think, or alaina. idk i don’t keep track. unless you consider kiana calling me insane a compliment. 🤷‍♀️

50. what was the last text you sent?

“thankies”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

tbh, i don’t think i ever thought he was real…pretty sure i could put in time out in preschool for making a kid cry cause i told them leprechauns weren’t real either.

52. what is your dream car?

mustang or challenger

53. opinion on smoking?

conflicted

54. do you go to college?

disappointingly

55. what is your dream job?

no clue

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

rural, but still close enough to shit it doesn’t take me an hour to go places.

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

haven't been to a hotel in a long ass time. i do but i never use them.. FREE SHIT

58. do you have freckles?

yeah, but you can’t see them unless i’ve been outside in the sun all day for hours.

59. do you smile for pictures?

relatively

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

5604

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

yup, and in a parking lot, and in public.🤙

62. do you still watch cartoons?

i hardly watch tv anymore, but if i did, fuCK YEAH

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

WNEDYS ALL DAY ERRY DAY THE RED HEADED BITCH IS MY HOE OKAY

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

ew, no.

65. what do you wear to bed?

tshirt

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

answered

67. what are your hobbies?

writing, coding, listening to music??, reading

68. can you draw?

NOPE

69. do you play an instrument?

also no

70. what was the last concert you saw?

like two years ago, circa survive with thrice and a third band idr

71. tea or coffee?

neither

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

neither

73. do you want to get married?

idk

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

idk, part of me wants to but most of me doesnt want to

76. what color looks best on you?

i look good in all colors except white.

77. do you miss anyone right now?

yeah

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed cause i still live at home 😖 but if i didnt probably open so my cat could come and go as he pleased

79. do you believe in ghosts?

ghosts, no. spirits, yes.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

answered

81. last person you called

my dad

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

mint choco chip

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

damn, regular.

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

RAINBOW BITCHES

85. what shirt are you wearing?

supernatural. dean and sam with baby

86. what is your phone background?

mitch rapp

87. are you outgoing or shy?

im an ambivert

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCKING YES

89. do you like your neighbors?

the ones on the right are bearable and the ones on the left can fuck off with their insane semen demons

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

neither, but i should.

91. have you ever been high?

nope

92. have you ever been drunk?

answered

93. last thing you ate?

hot dog

94. favorite lyrics right now

answered

95. summer or winter?

fall

96. day or night?

night

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

dark

98. favorite month?

umm, august? idk

99. what is your zodiac sign

aquarius

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t remember, it’s been a really long time since i cried in front of someone.

#thessaia #ask games #BET YOU THOUGHT I WOULDNT #HA #BITE ME #YOUR BITCH ASS BETTER READ EVERY DAMN ONE CAUSE THIS SHIT TOOK ME LIKE A GODDAMN HOUR

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etraytin · 4 years

Text

Quarantine, Day 89

June 8

Another Monday, the start of another business week, and a very busy day! Today was full of many adventures, such as achieving a new high score in Gardenscapes, being yelled at by an elderly person, and not going to Lowes. Quite the whirlwind! The kiddo has not quite gone to sleep yet, but I have bought time out of his room by telling him I was going to make some tea (which is technically also true). I am hoping that by the time I check on him in ten minutes, he will have fallen asleep cause he was pretty tired.

First thing this morning was the meeting with the attorney. It was a Zoom visit, and my goodness, aren't we all getting good at using Zoom now? It's practically old hat. We had a list of questions and were able to get some useful answers, as well as start to make a plan going forward with handling the estate. Apparently the office now does drive thru will signing and notarization, which is very funny to me but makes sense since you need two witnesses in person for a will signing and I don't think anyone has tested whether videoconferencing is in person enough. (I think it's gonna happen soon though, and I think the answer will be yes.) After the meeting, I spent much of the rest of the morning making a list of what entities will need a copy of the death certificate when it arrives and where that certificate will need to be sent. I am hoping we can stay long enough that the certificates come in the mail, but they are apparently kind of backed up right now.

While I was working, the kiddo seized control of our little iPad (we have many iPads in the house right now, there is the big iPad, which was Papa's, the medium iPad, which is Nana's, and the little iPad, which we got when Papa got the big iPad because he couldn't read the little iPad) and used it to spend all my Gardenscapes stars. I like the match-three game that is Gardenscapes and pretty much ignore the metagame of furnishing the garden except when I need to get extra lives. The kiddo doesn't like the actual game very much but gets a real kick out of furnishing the garden, so he spent all 1400 of my accumulated stars, finished four or five areas, and bumped my coin total to an all-time high of 105,000. I am like unto a god among gardeners, fear my pecuniary might! Upon finishing spending my stars, he gave me back the iPad and insisted I needed to earn him more stars, so that's what I did during podcast time tonight.

For lunch my husband made mozzarella stick grilled cheese, where he made grilled cheese sandwiches, then rolled them in breading, then pan-fried them crispy golden brown and served them with marinara sauce. They were very, very good and I should probably not eat them more than once a year if I value my coronary artery health. After lunch MIL and I went to the drive-thru at the drugstore for her medicine, and then I tried to go to Lowes for a new outdoor garbage can and garden hose. I figured midafternoon on a Monday shouldn't be too busy, but the place was packed! What the hell is everybody doing at Lowes, anyway? I decided to come back later after noting the number of people not even wearing masks.

The afternoon was pretty sedate, husband and kiddo took the other guitar, this one a regular size wooden acoustic that FIL made from a kit back in his early retirement days. FIL was a hell of a woodworker at one time, he also built a grandfather clock from a kit that still stands in the living room and keeps good time. MIL wasn't sure that the homemade guitar could be tuned, but the guy at the shop said that while it wouldn't be quite perfect, he could get it sounding good. The kiddo is very enamored with the guitar and spent his creative arts half hour today just playing with it and making fairly musical noises with it. I can already understand why the guitar is a better instrument to have your kid learning than any of the brasses or woodwinds. This bears thinking about.

The meal train from MIL's church started today. People will be bringing us dinner every other night for the next two weeks, which is very nice of them and gives us dinner and MIL the feeling that people at her church have not forgotten her. FIL had an extremely hard time getting around this past year or two and was often hard to rouse and dress in the mornings, so they weren't getting to church nearly as much even before the virus. I can tell she is happy to know that people still know her and want to help her in a time of need. I suspect, I hope anyway, that within the next year or so she is one of the people signing up to help others, as well as joining committees and groups again. She thrives on being involved in things, and she hasn't been able to do it in a long time.

Anyway, two people brought stuff over today, one of them a backstop when she saw that the person who signed up was bringing imitation crab salad and sweet potato pecan salad as the main dishes. The second person very tactfully contacted us directly and offered to bring us a pork tenderloin, which we gladly accepted. The pork tenderloin lady arrived at 5:30 and dropped off the food with a little doorway conversation and condolences, very nice. Half an hour later, I was playing Gardenscapes in our room (the kiddo is a harsh taskmaster) when MIL shoved the landline phone into my hands and said "here, you're good at giving directions, the meal train lady is lost."

Before I could protest that I don't even go here, the rather elderly lady on the other end of the phone was telling me about how she'd gone from X road to Y road and ended up back on X road and had no idea where she was and was driving around randomly. By a small miracle, I was able to figure out where she actually was and try to explain to her what she needed to do, only for her to interrupt me four or five times to tell me I wasn't making any sense, and also accused me of not answering the phone the first time she'd called. At long last I managed to get her to a landmark that put her back on the correct road and gave her the rest of the turns, then sent the guys out to the end of the driveway to flag her down. When she arrived, I tried to apologize for the confusion and explained that our GPS was also confused for a long time by the fairly rural route, she told me I ought to remember that not everybody has a GPS! It was like getting Tumblr-privilege-checked IRL by an old woman and was rather offputting. But hey, at least it was me and not MIL. Who the hell scolds the bereaved family they are bringing food to because they themselves had shitty directions? I don't even know.

Anyway, the pork tenderloin was very good, the crab salad was a small container of crab salad, and the sweet potato salad was incredibly weird. it was like a vinegar based potato salad except instead of tiny chunks of white potato it was quartered sweet potatoes and also red peppers with pecans dumped on top. There were also brownies that we could not peg the flavor on but were something in the blonde peanut butter-chocolate chip-possibly dates or raisins category. And man, I know it's extremely gauche to bag on food people bring you out of the kindness of their hearts, but come on, don't both yell at me and bring me weird potato salad, that's not very nice.

The kiddo has indeed gone to sleep in the time I've taken to steep my tea and write this, so that is excellent. Tomorrow I need to look into the financial advisor stuff some more and hopefully actually arrive at Lowes long enough to buy my items. For now, though, I have some stars to go earn.

#quarantine #gardenscapes #weird potato salad

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culebratia · 5 years

Text

Honest opinions on horror villains

Okay so I love horror villains and horror in general. Most of them are really interesting and have a sort of grotesque charm to them that I can’t really describe, it draws you to them and pulls you into wanting more. But there are some horror villains that are either overrated and underrated, and today I’m here to discuss some of them! (I’d like to reiterate that I don’t hate any of these characters, I actually like them all! But I’m just talking in a general perspective and my view on their popularity and the actual movie they come from.)

LESLIE VERNON

* overrated.

* okay, I know, people are going to get upset at me over this. This was an amazing movie, they said. It’s so new and different from the others, they said. And I completely understand that! It’s unique and inventive and I love the whole premise of the movie, but goddamn did it bore me..

* I like Leslie Vernon as a character, but I don’t love him like I do with other characters. He’s cool! I adore his slasher design, but his personality bores me a little bit at times. There are some points where my emotions and feelings on the guy are a little bit like a rollercoaster — up and down, up and down, up and down. It’s crazy.

* once again, I like the concept of his movie, but the way it was presented in a filmmaking point of view is underwhelming.

ART THE CLOWN

* underrated.

* there are three movies I know of with Art in them: The 9th Circle, All Hallow’s Eve and Terrifer. And all of them are equally shit, which is to be expected since it was written and directed by a young guy who specialises in special effects. But damn was Art interesting to watch.

* there are some points in the movies where I think “why couldn’t he have starred in a better made film?” because if that were so, he’d get so much more publicity! Art is an absolutely terrifying demon clown creature, way more scary than Pennywise, and people from around the world should know his name! He’s the only character in all the movies who actually has good actors.

* shitty movie, fantastic character. I hope to see more of him.

MICHAEL MYERS

* overrated by a milestone.

* look, I’m all for Michael Myers. He’s hot, lemme tell you that. But he’s a really boring character. It’s all the same (apart from the 3rd movie)! Michael returns to his hometown to find and kill Laurie, killing a whole other group of people who she happens to be involved with at some time during the movie.

* when I watch a horror movie, I want to have the villain to have some sort of character. At least with Jason, you can see some emotion in him which defines him as a whole! But with Michael? He’s a clean slate, and that is soo uninteresting.

* first two movies were great, others were unneeded honestly.

BILLY LENZ

* underrateeeeed.

* stinky attic boy needs some love. He is what started the slasher genre for peats sake and yet everyone overlooks him as a horror villain. Let me tell you, that phone scene in the beginning was absolutely fucking terrifying when I first watched it, and it’s still unsettling to this day even after I’ve watched it a million fucking times.

* we never even got to see Billy’s face properly throughout the whole movie and yet he made such an impact on everyone who ever watched Black Christmas! And that ending scene? Perfect cliffhanger. (The remake was shit compared to the original)

* great movie, great character, needs more credit.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

* overrated.

* bet y’all are shocked at this aren’t you? He’s the character I most often write for. But that’s really because he’s heavily requested. I actually don’t really like him all that much, too much exposure I guess. I mean I have nothing against his character as a whole, he’s attractive to me and interesting but I don’t actually know.

* now the movie is something I do know about though: bullshit. Absolutely terrible. A basic plot line (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing sometimes, it just needs to be played out right) and a director which results to cheap jump scares because apparently that’s ‘scary’. The movie as a whole is so predictable and it never scared me once when I went to watch it at the cinema. I can understand why people like it though.

* decent(?) character, bad movie.

OTIS DRIFTWOOD + family

* underrated.

* okay this might have something to do with my weakness for Bill Moseley, scarily cute women and clowns, but man do I love the Firefly family. Each and every character, even the ones we barely see, within the family is so perfectly polished and unique, and I love Rob Zombie for it. He can’t write dialogue for shit but man do I love his horror villains.

* although the first movie was very confusing at some points. Like, what?? What was with that ending? It was a very good movie in my opinion and was actually pretty horrifying. It used things that disgust us and manipulated that to terrify every single one of its viewers and that’s perfect. Hated the protagonists though.

* fantastic movie, great villains, shitty protagonists,

FREDDY KRUEGER

* overrated.

* now don’t get me wrong, I love Freddy, I grew up loving Freddy. He’s witty and fun to watch, maybe not like Chucky, but after a while he gets so repetitive that it gets really really annoying. Couldn’t they think of something unique and interesting for him to say instead of him just calling everyone a bitch??

* the writing becomes boring after a while, the directors add so many unnecessary features, weaknesses and powers we had no clue even existed up until this very point, and it’s overall not a very good franchise when you get into it. I enjoyed the first and seventh movie a lot, but all of the other ones didn’t really excite me all that much.

* okay character, okay movie, but isn’t worth all the attention.

NUBBINS SAWYER, DRAYTON SAWYER, CHOP-TOP SAWYER + GRANDPA SAWYER

* un👏🏽der👏🏽ra👏🏽ted

* these boys deserve just the same amount of attention that Leatherface does. I know that Bubba is a really cool character, and he deserves attention too! But that doesn’t mean that his family get to be left out. Each and every single one of them helped shape the Texas Chainsaw franchise to what it is today, and honestly it wouldn’t have been as amazing without them in it.

* Texas Chainsaw has so many metaphors within it nobody really goes into. When we first meet Nubbins and he’s kicked out of the van, Franklin very obviously points out “would you be able to do that?” referring to Nubbins slicing his hand up, and later on we see Franklin blowing raspberries at his friends due to the fact that he couldn’t go upstairs because of his disability, which is exactly what Nubbins was doing when he couldn’t get into the van. This area is the director exploring the ways that people could so easily turn into madness without people realising it.

* Drayton Sawyer is your average looking fellow who runs the Sawyer household, but he is not average at all. He’s sadistic, witty, hypocritical, and surprisingly still a Christian. He claims that he “doesn’t like to do the killing” and yet he’s shown constantly poking and prodding at the final girls like they’re some caged animals, living only for the pleasure of himself. The fact that he’s an elderly man basically screams “wolf in sheeps clothing”, because usually when you see an elderly person, you assume them to be kind and wise, whereas, Drayton can’t even spell ‘sex’ correctly.

* Chop-Top wasn’t present in the first movie sadly, but it’s explained why, which is understandable in a filmmaking perspective. He is probably the most terrifying character out of the bunch. He’s impulsive, disgusting, and absolutely fucking insane. Whether or not this is due to his time in Vietnam I don’t know, but man does it make a great affect. And that time in the movie where he was introduced? It was absolutely heavenly. No one in today’s horror industry would build up suspense like that and cause so much raw fear from a petty jump scare. The fact that he carries around his damn brothers corpse like he’s puppet, treating him like he’s still a living being adds onto the scare factor as well.

* great villains, good movies, everything after TCSM2 wasn’t really very good though.

Okay, now that’s over and done with! Let me show you my top ten favourite horror villains (from actual horror movies), you’ll either be completely shocked or completely not! :)

Pinhead — love the creature design. Fantastic personality and concept. Annoyed he’s not a woman.

Bubba Sawyer — baby boy needs love. And affection. And kisses. And basically anything positive. We must protect him.

Chop-Top Sawyer — terrified me when I first saw him as a kid. I wanna fuck Bill Moseley. I love his personality. Wish his movie came out.

Captain Spaulding — funny ass motherfucker. Always cracks me up. I want him to be my daddy.

Hannibal Lecter — interesting in a psychological perspective. Has a way to make your skin crawl without doing much.

Art the Clown — scarier than Pennywise. I wish his movies were better. Why didn’t Terrifier make it obvious he was a demon?

Otis Driftwood — boy’s a hottie. But please stop fucking corpses. Once again, Bill Moseley.

Stu Macher — first fictional crush. He’s my irl type of guy. I dated a guy like him once.

Jennifer Check — movie was ahead of its time. Legit was about having a succubus gf. Lesbian scene was hot. I’m gay for Meagan Fox.

Billy Lenz — terrifying phone calls. Nasty boi. The remakes will never be as great as the OG Black Christmas.

Anyways, so that’s it! It’s past midnight currently so I might just go to bed lol but whatever. I’ve wanted to write this out for a whiiile but decided to just get it over with now. I’ll say it all again: every character I write for, I like, I just have different levels of like, so please no hate over this. Thanks!

#horror #movie #pinhead #art the clown #brahms heelshire #leslie vernon #michael myers #billy lenz #jennifer check #chop top sawyer #drayton sawyer #nubbins sawyer #freddy krueger #otis driftwood #baby firefly #captain spaulding #bubba sawyer #stu macher #ghostface

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im-not-a-joke · 4 years

Note

Mmh... All the field

the whole- the whole field....

thank you for asking, this is going to be one long post

Alisons: Sexuality?

asexual, unlabeled/queer romantic

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

they/them or he/him, nonbinary

Amaryllis: Birthday?

february 4th

Anemone: Favorite flower?

bleeding heart

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

steven universe

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

probably offer a place to sleep overnight

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

strawberry lemonade

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

my gf? yes, absolutely.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

i’d like to think so, yes

Baneberries: Favorite song?

currently “better than me” by the brobecks

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

a mess, i have three siblings, and two of them are currently living at home, we also have two large dogs

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

yes! my best friend anna, and her brother bryan!

Begonia: Favorite color?

purple

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

mantis shrimp

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night person

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

dog, i want the constant love and affection

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

first a botanist, then a geologist

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i want to adopt some someday! sometimes they suck, but i want to be there for someone who doesn’t have a family to lean on.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

abandonment, because i’m annoying

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i shared a room with my little brother until i was like 12.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

visiting all the people i love most, all of my friends, my gf, i’d call my sister

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

taken!

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

france

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when people take the time out of their day to talk to me

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

nope, i do want some someday, though

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

yes! i got my ears pierced twice because it ripped my earlobe the first time

California Poppy: Height?

~5′8″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes, and if i die before any of my friends, i’m coming back to haunt them

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

a floral tank top, my favorite sleeveless cardigan, and jean shorts

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yes, my little brother was afraid of the dark and insisted on having a nightlight on

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

my mom

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

my gf

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

architect’s daughter

Columbine: Are you tired?

yes, very

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

tomorrow i get to leave the house all day to drive across the state and it’s going to be a lot of fun

Coneflower: Dream job?

language teacher! either english to people who don’t speak it or german/french to english speakers

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. i’m on tumblr all day

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

yeah, i think so

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i’d actually die for multiple people in my life

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes! a stuffed white dog with a plaid scarf and matching antlers! my friend got it for me because it reminded her of my big white dog.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

once i came 3rd in my age group for a 5k i ran

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

i successfully kept a frail axolotl alive for an entire summer

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

i dont care what my parents think about stuff like that, they cant tell my who i am or am not allowed to date

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

@byler-obsessed literally like, maybe 15 minutes ago as of writing this

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

i’d like to think i’m decent at singing

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

staying awake during the day

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

i saw my gf for the first time in months! i came out to the girls team for xc! i spent a lot of time with one of my closest irl friends!

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

decent, i had coach practice, which was nice

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

yeah, i’d say i’m pretty happy where i am

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

learn guitar

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my best friends anna and bryan, my older brother, the girls on the team, my ukulele, my therapist, my dogs, the creek in my back yard, my grandma’s amish apple dumpling recipe, random internet memes, books

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

listening to my spotify playlist

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

reassurance and/or talking about things that i enjoy, i’m really insecure so if i’m talking about something i like, that’s me trusting you.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

the mental health progress i’ve made

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i lay in bed until like 11, then, i spend the rest of the day out with my friends, we get sushi for dinner and stay up until like 3am

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

be on tumblr

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

i met them both in 6th grade, anna nad i were in the same science class and i met bryan at lunch, he didn’t talk to me for at least the first half of the year.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

bryan, he always knows just what to say, and knows that he doesn’t have to fix my problems to be a good friend.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

like, 13?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

my friend once told me that they couldn’t tell if i was a boy or girl upon first meeting me and it made my day.

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

i’m a mess, an anxious, depressed, gay mess

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my hair, it’s really fluffy and soft, and just about light enough to dye bright colors

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

my chest, it’s always been a huge part of my dysphoria and i want it gone please

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i would play dress up with my dog, he had to suffer through wearing all my old dresses, but he got treats so it was ok

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

my friend ry, we met in second grade, we’re still on and off friends, currently off

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

in 5th grade i used the word “suck” in class and got yelled at

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

see above answer

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

carson: christian. it’s my name because i like how it sounds, and anna really liked it too, she picked it for me.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

white, suburban ohio. all the kids had cliques by the second day of kindergarten, and if you were knew, you generally had a pretty good chance of being picked up by the popular kids.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had bunkbeds with my little brother, i slept on the bottom.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

so far, not really. i’m just mentally ill and closeted, it’s not great

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she likes to dye her hair crazy colors, and she used to be a beekeeper, even though she’s allergic to bee stings.

Onions: Tell about your dad.

he rides his bike almost every day, and supports my mom in whatever she does

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

on my mom’s side, the kindest boomers i’ve ever met, my grandpa used to take us on “adventures” to the park and just watch us play

on my dad’s side: my grandpa loves seeing us but doesn’t get out much, my grandma laughs hysterically at every family gathering, and has all the best amish recipes

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

when i turned 13, i went ice skating for the first time and fell and sprained my wrist

Peony: What was your first job?

mowing lawns

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

we had mutual friends and slowly ended up being close, we were in school plays and track together.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i bite down on my finger to simultaneously distract myself, focus on something else, and hold myself back

Pink: Where is home?

my best friends’ living room at 1 am, with the golden girls playing in the background

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i’d go back and stop current president from becoming president

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

my sister, she has always been driven and passionate and talented, and she makes everything seem effortless and still gives it her all.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

me and my spouse and my kids amd my dogs all live in a decently spacious house in europe, my job is stable and i love my work, my students think i’m cool and come to me if they need help, i am doing well.

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

i used to believe that the smoke from fireworks was where clouds came from

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my best friends

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

the sound of rain on my roof at night

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

when my sister, dad, and i all climbed to the top of a mountain in california

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

throwing up in the car on the way home for visiting my sister in new york

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

a hug from anna

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

it’s hard because i don’t trust people

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

like 5.5 hours

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

to run, it makes me feel better and i love cross country

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

lmao i dont have one

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my binder!

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

the record player song but a boy

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

a list of reasons why you deal with me/things you like about me

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the fact that this is taking a lot longer than anticipated and i don’t want people to think i’m ignoring their asks

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

actual books? only 2, Catcher in the Rye and the Night Circus

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

out with my friends

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yes, and i regret it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m double jointed in my left pinky

#fuck dude this took forever #long post #carson rambles

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oswednesday · 4 years

Text

anyway, the dream i had

was like there was a multiavatar lunch area that was provided by like long time established rich ones like a cafetera where we’re all suppose to meet n mingle, i was new basically sitting alone but not alone like not interacting with anyone at the table of im new with nowhere else to sit, and i had gotten antsy like i got up and started to grab more food and something happened between me and like some guy like a cafeteria gag slipped food comment taking the wrong way w/e it was like so now this group of desolation dudes were after me like a frat drooge aesthetic kind of guys and i was like scrambling running out much to the amusement of people who i was passing and i ran into another spiral person who was like you have a choice to make, you can either reach out for help (with the implication of like that would go further down the Path of the spiral) or be on your own (and be one of the many new avatars who die) so i like took her hand and she, i think?, helped me out with looney tune logic get away and the desolation group i heard just before we got out were groaning about that one saving me cause she was basically a sorta fire resistant toaster/toast (that made people go insane somehow)? anyway we slipped through space and ended up at like the Strong Hold for the area which was like an apartment space made inside a historic building that served also as an exhibition art museum that was open to the public, the group had followed up there and as we avoided them i heard clipts of lore, like the desolation group lived in the connected apartment units so the spiral lived on one side and they recently took up residence in the other and acted like it was their turf, and they were like Had Enough of us coming and going in their place and was finally going to do something about it starting with us, and we got into an elevator and i pushed for the top floor cause we were going to gather spiral artefacts just in case the desolation took the building out, but instead of the door closing at it going up, it started to go down slowly with the door still mostly open and i was sooo scared like thats a big fear of mine irl! like i was worried it would pick up speed and we’d die but it went slowly down and stopped underground in like maintence tunnels with train tracks in the dark and i was trying to get a picture of it but my phone wasnt working right and then it rose back up and we passed by like grassy plains on a bright clear soft sky day with like impossible animals and we went up and passed by other such impossible things and i was like whats all this? and she explained to me like Spiral Cultist Beliefs and that this was possible because i chose to get help from others and finally we reached the top floor the doors closed and opened again to the Actual floor and we got out and i admitted i was so scared and she was of what? and i explained like the whole elevator thing and she was like ooo thats why it tasted weird something of the buried or the end? and she starts rooting through stuff and the desk clerk at this historical maintained part of the building that was like, all the original rooms of the building just placed at the top floor like the way historical museums recreate bedrooms as instalations was like ???can i help you??? and i was like the one doing all the talking trying to get Legit access to the space and the woman signed forms and we went and the other spiral avatar was like that would have been faster and easier if you let go more,but it wasnt in like a scolding way it was like, youre too hard on yourself i care about you go crazy stupid supportive, we got the artefacts just in time for the group of desolation boys to find us but a security guard who was from the hunt like pounced on them like this area is restricted (dangerous smug voice) giving us time to escape through the back of a closet that opened to like a vintage aesthetic but all white room that was small like just enough room for a twin bed and some furnature giving literally just enough space to have access to the doors that were corner to corner, she had me check out of the peep hole that had two sliding covers over top it and the door was pointed left but we went out straight, outside which unfortunately some of the desolation group was still there like chilling on the steps, we ran and as we were getting away one of them lost their phone which i had then in my hand so i chucked it into the street and it create enough of a diverstion that we found a place we could escape through

then the dream like cut to the next day and i was sitting with the spiral group that was just like eight or ten or so people like not a lot but enough to fill in the end of a long table, the place set up like a bingo hall with food at the front as hot serving and in the middle as a buffet, and the group of desolation boys started to make their way over but were like w/e its not worth it and backed off, then i had a different dream that was like the aura of a horse drama movie like big ?midtone deep green or blue? house on a massive estate in the Country side, i got a package, there was conversation with a guy in a white cowboy hat, there was some plot but i dont remember it!

#dream journal

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harry-leroy · 5 years

Note

the give you a character meme: Henry V and Henry VI. (it's lisa btw)

“Hi! Thank you so much for this:) (And I hope your tumblr gets fixed soon because that is no fun :/ ).

Henry V will be above the cut and Henry VI below!

HENRY V

do I like them:

Like… what a man yes I love him.

5 good qualities:

strong, spiritual, knows when to be jocund and when to get down to business, excellent politician, unyielding

3 bad qualities:

anxious, sometimes harshly brutal, also like if you’re going to conquer France then learn some French my sweet summer child (if we’re using Shakespeare’s version hehehe)

favourite episode/etc:

I love him in Henry IV, Part I the most. But any Hal is wonderful. (I am so excited for The King though ahhhh)

otp:

Hal x Catherine (otp: take a soldier) I just have so many feelings about these two. The Hal Survives AU is like one of my favorite AUs of all time because I love these two so much - and their son is such a sweet summer boy and I love that entire family dynamic. Also, best wooing scene in Shakespeare’s canon, hands down.

brotp:

Hal x Poins (Will I ever get over the fact that Poins calls Hal “my sweet honey lord”? Absolutely not.)

Hal x Falstaff (one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking friendships in the canon)

ot3:

Hal x Henry IV x Richard II (every fic I read where these three are in it is just an absolute joy. Sometimes a little angsty, but I love this dynamic more than words.)

Hal x Catherine x Henry VI (I would absolutely adore more fics with these three because again, the Hal Survives AU gives me so much life. Like, it waters my crops and clears my skin. Hal and little Henry have so much in common - even though they have a world of differences between them too - but what they share is so so powerful and ahhhhh I just need more of them in my life).

notp:

I don’t think I have a notp for him?? At least, not one that I can think of off of the top of my head.

best quote(s):

“If I could win a lady at leapfrog or by vaulting into my saddle with my armor on my back, under the correction of bragging be it spoken, I should quickly leap into a wife.” - Henry V; Henry V (5.2.) - conquer France that’s all fine, but get to conquering a woman’s heart? Now we’re stumped, we’re speaking in prose, we don’t know what the heck is going on. She doesn’t know what the heck is going on and if only she could understand me! Ahhhh you didn’t think this through, did you Hal?

“Shall not thou and I, between Saint Denis and Saint George, compound a boy, half French, half English, that shall go to Constantinople and take the Turk by the beard? Shall we not?” - Henry V; Henry V (5.2.) - one of the many reasons why I think Henry VI would make a wonderfully heartbreaking Chorus to this play, especially if you’re going to stage the histories in a marathon. This moment is so pure, there is so much hope in this statement. Not only hope for these lovers, but for these two countries, and how quickly it is all lost is just absolutely heartbreaking. But at that point, you see that Henry VI, our Chorus, is that boy. Though he and Constantinople fell in the same year, and how much guilt lies on him then would be utterly, and uncomfortably palpable.

“Francis!” x 15 - Hal; Henry IV, Part I (2.4.) - this was the scene that made me fall in love with the histories.

head canon:

Hal Lives AU because I’ve been hyping it this whole post

(Also possibly modern AU too - when his son gets into a highly prestigious university, Hal is probably more excited than Catherine is. They’re both proud as heck of course, that’s their boy, but Catherine was totally expecting it. And of course, Henry is a shy bean about it.)

HENRY VI

do I like them:

I LOVE him ahhh protect this darling boy

5 good qualities:

wicked intelligent, sweet, just needs the people he loves, modest, honest (I could go on…)

3 bad qualities:

anxious (just like his dad - but it’s like ten times worse), sometimes sacrificial of others for his own self-preservation, doesn’t always think through the consequences of his actions

favourite episode/etc:

Henry VI, Part II is my favorite play of the H6 cycle, but like I adore him in everything he’s in. (Except TV shows that are really Yorkist centric… cough, cough The White Queen hehehe)

otp:

Henry VI x Margaret of Anjou (otp: fit for none but for a king) - again, can you imagine how powerful these two would be in a modern AU?? I get chills just thinking about it. All Henry really needs is Margaret, Edward, some of his favorite books, and some animals to take care of and he is 100% content and at peace. And Margaret (especially in the modern AU) totally knows that. Ugh just… I love them so much.

brotp:

Henry VI x Humphrey of Gloucester - just let these two be happy please ahhh

(also poor darling boy he needs more human friends >-

ot3:

Henry VI x Margaret of Anjou x Edward of Westminster (aka my favorite family ever. This little family will always and forever end me. I adore the AU where nothing bad happens to Henry and he and his family just live happily ever after because it’s what they deserve.)

notp:

Again, I don’t think I have one? Maybe like Henry VI x Richard III because bad things happened, but also like give me an AU where these two become friends and Henry is like, ‘no Richard, killing is not the answer’ >-

best quote:

“Whether it be through force of your report,My noble Lord of Suffolk, or for thatMy tender youth was never yet attaintWith any passion of inflaming love,I cannot tell; but this I am assured,I feel such sharp dissension in my breast,Such fierce alarums both of hope and fear,As I am sick with working of my thoughts.” - Henry VI; Henry VI, Part I (5.5.)

This for me is actually such a gorgeous passage and if you ask any of my irl friends it’s my entire personality (especially those last three lines). Whenever my friends and I are like ‘tag urself’ with a TV show or play or anything really, I’m always the precocious, anxious one who thinks too much for his own good and most importantly, is trying his absolute best (and it’s usually a guy - which I find interesting). I got told just last week by two different people in my playwriting class that they wanted to “spend an hour in my brain” and like big yike >-

head canon:

(modern Plantagenet AU)

Coffee makes Henry wayy too jittery, so he doesn’t drink it (there was that one time, and mistakes were made), but Margaret loves coffee, so Henry spends an insane amount of time learning how she likes her coffee, but also just learns an insane amount of coffee knowledge in general this boy could probably write a book.

#thank you so much for this!#this was so much fun #i apologize that i took a few days life has been crazy hehehe #it's currently moving at like 9000 miles an hour and i am not prepared #henry v #henry vi #send me a character #my boys #i love these two with all my heart #the histories #shakespeare's histories #shakespeare #nuingiliath #heartofstanding #long post

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jcmorrigan · 4 years

Text

Little Coincidences

The F/O? Giovanni Potage from Epithet Erased. The S/I? Rachel Scribere - mundie, writer of much fanfiction, independent contractor supervillainous minion who has also given up on adulting. (Most of those things apply to me IRL!) This is the one where I’m REALLY banking on no one who went to high school with me following me on Tumblr right now, because I get into some personal-ish stuff here that was very specific to my graduating class. I just...wanted my current f/o to show up a ghost from my past. And what are f/o’s for, if not that?

***

It started when Giovanni ran past me, pressed a marker into my hand, and yelled, “MARKER FIGHT!”

Yes, there is context. I wanted to simulate the exact sense of confusion for you that I felt when he did that.

To be clear, it was during down time in the “evil lair” that our sector of Blasters had taken over – a public library that had been defunded by the city but never torn down, so really, it was a bunch of empty bookshelves (where you could occasionally find an old and really weird book they’d missed on the clear-out) where no one would think to look for us because this entire building was basically a health hazard. We were only about ninety-five percent sure there wasn’t asbestos in the walls.

Also, if I’ve talked before about the mall incident, or the kiss before the skyline – this was before that. A lot before that. Back when I knew I liked Giovanni in the romantic sense, but he wasn’t exactly aware of that, nor did he really like me in that way. No, this was when I was a pining idiot and we were just friends.

At which point he shoved a marker into my hand.

“What the fuck?” I asked.

“MARKER FIGHT,” he repeated, as though that explained everything.

The worst part was that it actually did.

See, I hadn’t wanted to say it at that time, but it frightened me. I’d seen this done before, in one very specific place. How had he known? “Just to be clear,” I said deliberately, “this is that game where each of us wields a marker of a different color, we LARP it out, drawing on someone is a ‘wound,’ and we tally the winner by who has the most of their color on everyone else?”

“Good. I was worried I’d have to explain the whole thing to you. Now we can skip the tutorial phase and go right to the EVERY-BOY-FOR-HIMSELF RIVALRY!” He let out a raucous and malicious-sounding cackle for about thirty solid seconds before telling me, “You get a ten-second head start.”

I wasted no time bolting away from him, darting at random zigzags through the shelves to avoid any other Blasters who were playing. Then I heard the triumphant scream of “TIME IS UP, COMPOSER!”

At which point I almost ran into Ben.

“Oh, SWEET!” he cried, raising a red marker high. “Maybe this is how I finally get the nickname ‘Stabby’!”

I screamed as he put a red mark across my forehead. I then retaliated, drawing a line of cobalt-blue down his ear as though lopping it off.

“MY EAR!” Ben screeched. “SHE VAN-GOGHED ME!”

I used his cries to dart away around the shelves…right into the same area as Crusher.

“So,” he growled, raising his lime-green marker. “It’s come to this…ROMANTIC RIVAL.”

“Don’t try me right now,” I warned, showing him my deep-blue pseudo-dagger. “I’m armed and dangerous.”

“I think the only way to settle our mutual affections for the Boss is to duel to the death.”

“So you have chosen death, then.”

It was rather obvious why Crusher and I didn’t really get along most days. However, for a few minutes, we kind of forgot that we were supposed to hate each other. I managed to leave several long blue lines up Crusher’s arms, screaming “SUBMIT! SUBMIT!”, until suddenly I was pinned down, getting green scribbled down my entire face as Crusher roared, “SURRENDERRRRRR!”

From a row away, Ben groaning, “Come onnnnn, you know I have dibs on ‘Stabby’! Don’t ruin this for me!”

Suddenly, Crusher’s eyes widened; “I’VE BEEN HIT!” He rolled over onto his back, making exaggerated, dramatic death noises.

“COMPOSER!” Spike, the one who’d perpetrated the fatal silver blow, extended a hand to me. “TEMPORARY ALLIANCE!”

I let her help me up just in time for Flamethrower to skid into the area, striking several cheerleader-precision poses with flair as he brandished his fire-orange marker.

“AVENGE MEEEEEE!” Crusher yelled.

Flamethrower’s cheerleading practice was put to good use. Spike and I combined couldn’t stymie him; he danced circles around us, and our skin displayed orange marks of his prowess. Meanwhile, Crusher changed “death” positions five times, making louder groans each time to try and get attention.

“CRUSHERRRRR!” this from Darkstar, who’d just skidded onto the scene. “NOOOOOO! WHO DID THIS TO YOU?”

“THEY DID IT!” Flamethrower jabbed his marker at Spike and myself.

“HE DID IT!” we yelled, pointing back at him.

“FLAMETHROWER!” Darkstar accused. “HOW COULD YOU?”

“ME? BUT – “

“THIS MEANS WAAAAAAR!”

As Team Composer finally got the upper hand on Flamethrower, Darkstar paused to whisper to me, “I know one of you two got him, but I’ve been waiting for WEEKS to get Flamethrower back for eating my pudding out of the staff lounge.”

We didn’t argue.

Behind the shelf, Ben yelled, “Oh, where was this when you found ME stabbed?”

We all froze when the sound of a running motor alerted us to the impending horror.

“…Please tell me Boss decided to bring his Vespa into this to spice it up,” I said, voicing what we were all thinking. “Please, please, please tell me it was NOT hijacked by – “

Our worst fears were confirmed when Car Crash came driving Giovanni’s scooter around the corner at top speed, his marker taped to the handlebars; “BEEP BEEP, FUCKERS!”

All of our rivalries were gone. We screamed and ran as one herd of panicked cattle, trying to get as far away as possible from Car Crash on a stolen motorized vehicle. At some point, Ben ended up in our crowd. I didn’t bother asking.

As it turned out, we were all playing right into the hands of the enemy. We hurried to the circular area around the children’s info desk only to find the area quickly filling up with a thick mist. Mist that smelled…suspiciously delicious.

“NO!” I screeched. “MISSION ABORT! MISSION – “

It was too late. We were trapped in the Fog of Lost Souls.

“BOSS, NO!” Crusher dropped to his knees. “SPARE ME! PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!”

“I LOVE YOU MORE!” Spike screeched. “SPARE ME INSTEAD!”

I couldn’t even see either of them. Somehow, we’d all gotten horribly separated. The distinct sound of Car Crash running the Vespa into the info desk and groaning, “Aw, man!” resounded.

The maniacal laughter I’d heard earlier when gifted my weapon sounded again, but louder, and from on high – he was standing on top of one of the bookshelves. “YOU POOR, SIMPLE FOOLS! …WhoIloveverymuchandhateinsultingbutthisisaroleplay. YOU WALKED RIGHT INTO YOUR OWN DOOM! Alliances and loyalty mean nothing in this bloodthirsty war! NONE OF YOU SHALL BE SPARED! TELEPORTS RAPIDLY BEHIND EVERYONE!”

I’m half convinced he actually did teleport this time, because the screams sounded from everyone right in order of one another; somehow, Giovanni was able to locate each of us within his fog and strike out, drawing glitter-gold wounds on each of us in strategic locations. I could feel the cool ink swipe hard across the back of my neck.

I did the only thing one could do, which was to drop to my knees and scream in faux anguish. Then slump to the floor as if well and truly decapitated.

When the fog cleared, it turned out all of us had had the same idea, lying strewn about like a murder scene. Even the Vespa had been drawn on in metallic gold ink in the confusion and was lying toppled.

Atop the info desk, Giovanni laughed triumphantly, hoisting his marker to the ceiling. “YOU ARE DEALING WITH NO MERE MORTAL! THIS WAR WAS LOST THE MOMENT IT WAS BEGUN!”

“Would it be foul play to act like we were all just playing dead and then rush him at once?” I muttered.

To my surprise, it was Crusher of all people who answered back, “No, it wouldn’t.”

We all knew what we had to do.

“Hey – “ Giovanni nearly fell back off the desk. “Boys – no – YOU’RE ALL DEAD – “

I yelled “FAKEOUT!” at the same time that Spike yelled “MUTINY!” and Ben yelled “ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!”

We charged, climbing up onto the desk. It was your standard library info desk – at least standard to all the ones I’d seen – meaning it was semicircular in design. Giovanni fell back onto the floor right in the middle of the circlular area. After a brief pause in which he assured us, “I’m fine; please continue,” we vaulted over the desk en masse and drew on every bit of exposed skin to the sounds of his tortured screams.

It was the most fun I’d had on the Blasters since becoming a Blaster-adjacent independent contractor villain. However, I still couldn’t shake how haunting it was that I had already known the rules of marker war. There was no way – I hadn’t gone to school with any of the Blasters, and my family hadn’t even started out in Sweet Jazz City. And I wasn’t sure at all how to address this.

***

The second incident was also in the library, a few days later. I was heading into the employee lounge (which had originally, when it was a functioning library, been…an employee lounge) with my phone so I could make a highly sensitive business call about appraising a hijacked load of game consoles, followed up by a dentist appointment I’d been putting off.

One minute, I was strolling into the lounge, strutting like any villain would, phone in hand. And the next, I was sitting on the floor, heart racing with adrenaline, someone’s scream ringing in the air.

It took me a moment to realize that scream was mine.

It was followed up by laughter – a slowly building wheeze into an outright chortle. “Composerrrrrr! I knew you’d freak, but not like THAT!”

I replayed the events in my mind. What had happened in that missing flash was that someone who’d been hiding behind the door frame had leapt at me and jumpscared me while I had been on my way into the lounge.

Not just any someone. No, one very specific fanged, pink-haired ball of energy.

“GIOVANNI…POTAGE,” I growled, slowly turning my head to regard him.

He had tears in his eyes now from laughing so hard. “You should’ve seen your face,” he squeaked. “It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

Well, I’d always wanted to hear that from him, but not in that context.

“I…am going…to kill you,” I growled.

With an “Eek!”, Giovanni realized he needed to run, and he did so.

I needed a weapon. The fridge was the first thing I saw. Throwing open the door, I saw a pack of pudding cups labeled “DARKSTAR’S (don’t touch, Flamethrower!!!”). And nothing else.

I did not feel sorry for Darkstar one bit.

Armed with chocolate pudding, I barreled through the rows of shelves, looking for my wayward boss. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t entirely angry. I wasn’t that angry at all. But when your crush jumpscares you, that is just not something you let go without having some fun.

I happened upon him behind the first-floor stairway, where I backed him up against the underside of the stairs. “NOT THE FACE!” he screeched as he put up both arms.

And I lost resolve.

When a few seconds had passed and Giovanni found himself not pelted with pudding, he asked, “Hey, what gives?” as though legitimately frustrated with me. “You caught me! Now you gotta dish out what I gave to you! Geez, did you forget everything I told you about villainy and revenge?”

“This isn’t right,” I muttered. “Sorry for wasting your time. I’ll go now.”

I hadn’t meant it to sound that melodramatic. Anyway, I turned on a heel to return the pudding to its home.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!” Giovanni seized my wrist as I turned away, and I felt my heart flutter. “Composer, this isn’t like you! Where’s the vicious femme fatale I mentored into villainous perfection?”

I froze. “Actually doing anything about the jumpscare is more effective at scaring people off than the scare itself, believe it or not.”

“What the hell? What even is that crap? Just get me back already! Stop being weird!”

Maybe, just maybe, I’d gotten this all wrong.

So I started slowly and deliberately unwrapping the lid of the first pudding cup right there in front of him.

“Now RIGHT IN THE FACE!” Giovanni encouraged.

I gave him a quizzical look.

“Come onnn, Composer! I don’t have all day!”

So I slopped the pudding onto his face halfheartedly.

“Seriously?” he sighed. “You can do way better than that.”

“You’re right,” I realized. “I can.”

So I smacked the second one onto his nose, full stop.

“Now THAT’S what I call some DELICIOUS VENGEANCE!” Giovanni laughed. “But seriously. I have things to do. Important, evil things.”

“Okay. I still have to make those calls.”

“In the lounge?”

“Yeah.”

“…Could you do me a favor and get me a soda from the gas station across the street first? I’m thirsty and decaffeinated.”

I shrugged, rather confused but not about to be rude about it. “Sure. Be right back.”

“I’ll come pick it up from you in the lounge.”

It wasn’t until I was repeating my steps that I realized the ruse. “Oh, no fuckin’ way,” I muttered as I approached the lounge.

I shook the plastic soda up good and hard. Then chucked it into the lounge.

“HYEEEAH!” Giovanni yelled as he revealed himself to scare an inanimate bottle of soda. “…Wait.”

“REALLY?” I groaned, rolling my eyes.

“It was hilarious!” Giovanni argued. “You’re the best person to scare!”

“I do need to actually get some work done today, you know.”

“Fiiiiine,” Giovanni sighed. “I’ll leave you alone. Just – “ His eyes widened as he thought of something. “Hey, you don’t mind me hanging out in here while you make your calls, do you?”

Just me and the object of my affections hanging out alone in a room? What was he playing at?

“See,” he went on mischievously, “if you’re in here making a call like nothing’s wrong, and another Blaster sees you from the outside of the door…”

“They’re going to assume there is absolutely no one waiting to scare them behind it,” I realized. “You’re a fucking genius, Boss.”

“I know.”

“Deal.”

As I took my seat, bringing out my phone, Giovanni had retrieved the soda bottle. “I am pretty thirsty, though – “

“BOSS, DON’T – “

The minute he opened the cap, it exploded into a geyser that soaked him.

I couldn’t make my call for a solid fifteen minutes due to laughing too goddamn hard.

***

The camel’s back broke when we were alone together at the strategy table, going over some reconnaissance notes I’d brought back from a surveillance mission.

“So anyway, I think we have the best chance from one of these three windows,” I explained, cycling through flash cards I’d taped photos to. “We could test for alarms by chucking a good old-fashioned brick through the glass.”

“Or a bottle of soda that was shaken up,” Giovanni teased.

I laughed. And also flushed. I hated that he was so goddamn oblivious, sometimes.

“I mean, it’s practically your specialty!” he argued, leaning back in his chair and setting his ankles on the table, crossing them, one over the other.

The problem was that it was Casual Friday. Which was not an official Blaster protocol, but rather something that Giovanni himself had developed for this specific faction. He’d thought it would improve morale, and he was right. I myself had resorted to a pair of sweatpants and a band T-shirt that didn’t match. He was wearing a pair of battered jeans and a favorite gray sweater of his, edged in white faux fur. That much I had known.

I hadn’t seen his shoes yet.

And right before my eyes, one over the other, he crossed a pair of red Converse high-tops.

The strategy meeting was abandoned. I slammed my flash cards on the table, rising up and yelling, “WHO TOLD YOU?”

“OKAY, I ADMIT IT!” he screamed, looking like I’d gotten him with his hands in the cookie jar. “BEN RATTED HIM OUT BECAUSE BEN’S A SNITCH!”

“HOW. DID BEN. KNOW ABOUT HIM?”

“BECAUSE HE WAS IN THE LOUNGE THAT DAY AND SAW HIM TAKING IT!”

I flinched. “We’re not on the same page, are we?”

“You’re…not asking me about how Ben ratted on Flamethrower for taking Darkstar’s pudding, and I told Darkstar because I thought it would be funny to start shit?”

I wasn’t really sure where to take that. “…No.”

“Thennnnnn what are we talking abouuuuut?” His voice rose a little bit on every word to express his utter confusion.

I sighed heavily. “So you didn’t hear anything about my high school?”

“No.”

“Nothing. Not a thing.”

“Composer, I have no idea where this is going.”

I sat back down. “This is a complicated story. You don’t wanna – “

Instantly, Giovanni had repositioned, leaning across the table excitedly. “IS THIS WHERE I GET TO FINALLY HEAR ABOUT THE DARK AND TRAGIC PART OF YOUR BACKSTORY THAT DROVE YOU TO A LIFE OF CRIME?”

I found myself smiling. “I mean, my parents aren’t dead ghosts. I gotta have some raison d’etre, right?”

“Tell me. Tellmetellmetellme.”

I couldn’t look him in the eye. “So…when I was in high school, there was this…guy.”

“Ooh. This sounds promising.”

“And I really wanted…”

Oh, God. I couldn’t tell Giovanni that I was acting this way because of someone I’d had an obsessive crush on. Then he might make the connection that I had a similar one on him. (I had greatly overestimated how canny Giovanni could be about such things. This was back in the day when you could tell him upfront you loved him more than life itself and he wouldn’t get it.)

“…to be his friend.” And sadly, that was probably the heart of it, more than the romance aspect itself. “He was very loud and weird. But in a good way. Or so I thought, anyway. Not like I was alone, either. Everyone in my school wanted to be near him. EVERYONE. When he changed school districts our last year, there was literally a CROWD of girls around him at his locker begging him to tell them contact info. While I sat several feet away, pretending to read my book, hoping that he’d notice me for NOT being part of the crowd. What a load of bullshit. Then, of course, there are so many guys who claimed to be straight and hung around him just a little too closely…he was that pretty. He was REALLY pretty. And he was smart and he was charismatic and he was fun and…he just…he never wanted to interact with me. He’d throw me just enough of a bone to keep the flame alive, and then act like I wasn’t even real. Probably because I was super dumb and immature back then. Like, way super dumb. I would try to play along with his stunts and he’d blow me off. I finally became disillusioned when he…broke a rule, later on. It doesn’t matter. It was dumb. But I told myself he’d crossed a moral event horizon. I let myself believe it was that one incident for years. …It was never about that. It was about how I wanted to be close to him for years, and he wouldn’t let me in, and he wouldn’t completely shut me out, either. Though maybe that’s my fault for not just…walking up to him and asking him to be my friend. I’ve always been chickenshit.”

“So…what makes you think I know about him?”

Giovanni’s tone struck me as strangely sympathetic. I chanced looking into his eyes –

Oh, God. Wrong move. How had I never noticed they were that brilliantly pink before? I mean, I had known they were pink, but this was like having a rose-colored spotlight turned on me. And were those little gold flecks in the iris? Or was my crush-filter just seeing things?

But once I stopped seeing the trees, I got a good look at the forest. I couldn’t remember having seen Giovanni so pensive. So concerned, yet in a way that wasn’t over an injury sustained by a teammate or the impending arrival of the police. He was genuinely getting sad off this story.

“…Because the little quirks I fell for him for are just weirdly similar to the stuff you’ve been doing this week,” I admitted. “He and his posse did marker war all the time. I think his was red? I always wanted to play in the marker war. It looked like they were having so much fun, and I wanted to face off against him. And then the jumpscare. He did that to me, once. Almost exactly the same way you did. That’s where I learned the tactic of throwing an inanimate object through the door. He got me good, and I got mad, and then we never talked about it, if he thought it was funny or what. I thought maybe he thought I was ACTUALLY mad, and that scared him off.”

“So THAT’S why you didn’t exact your chocolatey revenge.”

“Bingo. I was just terrible at talking about my feelings, so I just insulted him a lot instead of being honest. It was probably all my fault. And the shoes. He had a pair like that. Exactly like that. I used to try and get his attention by…” I let out a long, deep sigh. “Telling him they looked like they were run over by a ketchup truck.”

“That’s not a bad one-liner.”

“‘KETCHUP TRUCK’ ISN’T A BAD ONE-LINER?” I shook my head. “Anyway. I dunno. I can never figure out if he was just an ass or if I was just…” I sighed. “These are just coincidences, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” Giovanni confirmed. “They are. I thought I invented marker war. If you ever see this guy again, tell him I gotta sue him for the rights. And I wear these shoes ‘cause they’re devil-may-care and hot-rod red, keeping my aesthetic suitably edgy even when out of uniform. …They’re also comfy.”

“So I just told you all that for no reason. Like a dumbass. It isn’t even that great of a tragic backstory, is it?” I was laughing then, to try and cover up how absolutely sheepish I felt. “You didn’t need to know any of that, and nowwwww it’s all awkward.”

“Not awkward. Just…really confusing.”

“How so?”

Giovanni gave me a dramatic shrug; “Why didn’t he wanna hang out with you? You’re GREAT at marker war! You fit right in! And you’re honestly the most fun person I’ve ever scared! You think any of the boys freak out that hard? That was hilarious! You’d better watch your back now, because you’ve given me an incentive to try and do it SO much more.”

I wanted to make some kind of snappy retort about throwing soda bottles. However, it felt like I was receiving a catharsis long overdue. Maybe it didn’t matter who was wrong and who was right, back then. Because now, I had someone who did want to have fun with me.

Just as a friend, I thought. But maybe that was all that mattered, and the crush could be dealt with later.

“I was so much worse back then,” I tried to argue. “I was hyper.”

“So you mean you were even MORE fun?”

I almost wanted to cry.

“Whoa, hey, hey, hey!” Seeing the perturbation on my face, Giovanni rushed around the table, lightly putting his hands on my shoulders as he knelt beside my chair. “You’re plenty fun to hang with, Composer! Every day, I’m really glad I helped you get started in the villain biz and invited you into the lair! I mean…back when I was in high school and I tried to do stuff like that for fun, nobody really paid attention to me, either, and I would’ve KILLED for someone to actually think I was cool instead of just…some weirdo who wore capes to school and drew original supervillain characters for all my art projects.”

“You wore a cape?” I asked. “That is so cool!”

“Yeah, well, no one said that THEN.”

“But it was! Now I’m kinda wishing we could’ve gone in the same graduating class.” And also wishing that he would never take those hands off of me, ever.

“NOYOUDON’T,” he said hurriedly. “Because I was…ummmm…I was a juvenile delinquent, and you were obsessed with rules! Yeah! And I just…wasn’t the person you’d want me to be.”

I wouldn’t figure out until a later discussion what that meant, truly, and it had nothing to do with breaking or following rules. But that doesn’t have to be tread upon now. “Actually, you’re right. Better things happened the way they did.”

“So what else did that loser not do with you for fun?”

“He was the most popular kid in our entire school,” I muttered. “No one thought he was a loser except me.”

“Yeah, because you actually have a BRAIN in there! And I say he was a LOSER!”

I smiled at him. “I guess…I dunno, I always heard he was great at dancing. And I always wished we could dance. Probably just because of societal and cultural expectations. But I’m a shit dancer. Like, there was this whole movement dedicated to making fun of – where are you going?”

Giovanni beckoned for me to follow him; “Come on!”

“Wasn’t this originally a strategy meeting?”

“Don’t care! We’re breaking the rules, baby!”

I followed him back to the staff lounge, where I watched him struggle to push the table off to the side. He got it out of the way before I could offer my help, then flitted to the radio sitting on the counter by the sink. “Let’s see here…”

I could feel my face filling with heat. “Boss, I don’t think this is a great idea.”

“Shut up. It’s my idea, so it’s a great one.” He was cycling through the stations. “No, no, no, no, no, no – PERFECT!”

What he’d found was an anti-authoritarian anthem currently on the rock top 40. Not exactly what you’d think of as a dance number, but it had enough of a beat that I could work with it if pressed.

Which he would have to do a lot of if he wanted to see me make an idiot out of myself like that.

“Come on!” he encouraged. “Show me some moves!”

“I’ll look stupid!” I hissed.

“SO? You don’t see that stopping me from doing literally anything!”

“…Did you even hear how that sounded coming out of your mouth? Also, this isn’t a dance song!”

“Um, it’s a song, so you can dance to it.” He gave a long, drawn-out sigh. “Are you really gonna make me start this?”

“Oh, no, you don’t n – “

“Cut in whenever.”

I wasn’t sure how him starting to dance was supposed to encourage me at all. Because I’ll be honest: he was probably only an average dancer. But I was below average, and looking at him through the crush-filter. He looked like the most graceful living being I’d ever beheld with my two eyes, spinning and rocking in time with the heavy guitar.

I was not going to look good next to that.

Of course, this was not any ordinary man I was dealing with. It was Giovanni Potage. Meaning he had a contingency plan. Without any warning whatsoever, he seized my hand and pulled me into a spin with him, and then, well, I was already in motion, so I had to keep going.

By the third song, it didn’t even feel awkward anymore. I just felt alive. I know I looked like an absolute dork, but I had stopped caring, throwing out arms and leaping about to the hard tempo of every dark anthem. The fourth song was a personal fave of mine – with an incredibly complex guitar riff that just begged a person to go double-time. As I attempted to execute a series of spins to match, I simply lost balance and fell over, hitting the table on my way down.

Stupid. Idiot. Why was I doing this? I’d just made an ass of myself in front of –

Without even really pausing, Giovanni dipped before me, offering his hand. I took it on instinct, then rose, letting him reel me right back in, so glad he’d just hit resume where I’d slammed into pause mode.

At last, I collapsed into the pushed-aside chair, panting heavily. “No more,” I heaved. “I need…to catch…my breath.”

He hopped up to sit on the tabletop beside me. “Now THAT was some fun,” he remarked. “We gotta do that more often.”

This was the same pitfall I’d dropped into so many times back in the day, with the ghost of my past. Making up excuses to get near him. Taking casual opportunities to interact with him without making my real intentions clear. Maybe this whole time, I was afraid that would drive him away.

Maybe this whole time, I’d been thinking of him as a jerkass without actually acknowledging how hard he really blew me off for three fucking years. So what if I wanted to get closer to Giovanni? We were friends. And I liked him. Maybe that would go somewhere. Maybe it wouldn’t. And most importantly, he wanted to dance with me.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “We should.”

#selfship #i'm at soup!#and if it turns out any of my classmates IS reading this #i'll eat my personal fan

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