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waitmyturtles · 1 year

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Eternal Yesterday. Before I dive into a meditation on memory, let me get a couple words down regarding a memory about memories.

I’ve written before that I’m pretty sure the first piece of Japanese art I ever consumed was Yoshimoto Banana’s novel, “Kitchen.” But also memorably, in college, I watched Koreeda Hirokazu’s film, “After Life.”

“After Life” is about a group of counselors who exist in purgatory. Their job is to meet the souls of those who have recently passed away, and interview them about the memory they want to re-live in their afterlives. Many of them choose memories related to their children or spouses, or moments in time that gave them beautiful feelings, such as snuggling against their parents when they were small children themselves. Over time, it’s revealed that the counselors are living in this purgatory because they themselves haven’t chosen a memory to live with. The story particularly focuses on two counselors who come to terms with their decisions, and how it changes them.

I’m reflecting on this movie because when I watched it, so long ago in college (me, old), it was one of the first pieces of art from Asia in which I saw that a quiet tone and even pace to delivering a message via content was incredibly vital to accurately conveying that message. In this case, the tone and pace of the movie was necessary to indicate that choosing this everlasting memory was a very important decision, indeed — it would be the very last decision these souls would make.

And I think there was something similar happening here in Eternal Yesterday.

The wonderful @bengiyo’s review of the show made me realize that while I was slightly confused and bemused by the magical realism play of Koichi not being quite dead throughout the series, that there was a very deep and real point to the concept that Koichi was a living corpse. I think that point relates, at least for me, to the reflection that I’m having on “After Life.”

It’s not clear if, in the universe of Eternal Yesterday, if people outside the circle of Mitsuru’s life who pass away can also experience a moment of living death; in other words, I’m not clear if this is a common occurrence in the world of this show outside their characters. Nevertheless, I’m only going to focus on Mitsuru for a second:

The fact that this phenomenon happened to two very close people in his life makes me think that the concept was designed here as a means for helping Mitsuru to begin the process of mourning. I think it was designed as a means for preparing Mitsuru to begin the process of letting go -- by leaving him with a slew of gorgeous memories, with the people he loved, as a means of him living out the love he has for them for the rest of his ontological life.

I am twisted with angst, beautiful and saddened angst, at the thought of this concept. It is unbelievably COMPASSIONATE to me that there would be a concept that the way for someone living, to let go of someone who has passed, with a moment in a kind of purgatory that allows two people to create their final memories together, intentionally -- I mean. How much more humane and empathic can art get?

I was drawn to this show by the intense reviews of the series finale by @gillianthecat and @lelephantsnail, two people with amazing taste in shows, and when I saw how much Eternal Yesterday moved you two, I had to eat this show up, and I totally get why. For me, I’m totally wrapped up in the intensity that BOTH MITSURU AND KOICHI got to have their final moments together, knowingly, INTENTIONALLY. It’s gut-wrenching.

And there’s one more point that’s really getting to me -- it’s something related to why I really need to learn Japanese in my older age.

Earlier in the series, during the campsite confession scene, I thought that (at least on Viki, I don’t know about other translations), the English translation of the word ichiban to “my number one” was a little inaccurate. I thought it was incredibly cute that the the guys called each other their ichiban, but I thought that “number one” as a translation was a little reductive in the context of a confession.

Ichiban, to me, meant something more like “superlative” in that moment. I think (I think!) it was meant to indicate something like, “I like you the very best of all,” rather than the guys saying to each other that they were each other’s “number ones.”

I’m harping on this because I was totally, utterly wasted and gutted by Mitsuru’s final words in the last episode -- when he said about Koichi, ichiban aishiteru.

I’m a real sucker for aishiteru in doramas, especially BLs. I was wrecked when Adachi used it to describe his love for Kurosawa to Kurosawa’s parents in the Cherry Magic movie earlier this year.

It’s because I think it’s really necessary that this word is used more in Japanese BLs, because of how it indicates the very heavy and deep love that one partner has for another. For me, the usage of the word is a very welcome BL trope (I remember it being used memorably in Life: Love on the Line, when Akira uses it with Yuki when they meet again in Alaska).

Aishiteru indicates the only love, the permanent love, the absolute love of a lifetime that exists between two people. It blows away the everyday English “love” by way of intensity and permanence. (I think it belongs in BLs so that audiences can see that aishiteru can exist in same-sex couplings -- it’s not limited to cishet pairings.)

What twisted me about ichiban aishiteru is that it indicated that Mitsuru was going to be OKAY with this reality for his lifetime -- that Koichi was going to be his superlative and permanent love for the rest of Mitsuru’s lived life. Mitsuru wouldn’t say such a heavy thing if it weren’t true. It was SO BEAUTIFUL to me that he used this phrase. I’m so messed up by it because of how concretely and resolutely Mitsuru said it.

@bengiyo wrote in their review that this show is “poignant queer cinema,” and I could not agree more. Eternal Yesterday was DEEPLY satisfying and moving. And, I think, necessary in the library of BLs, to demonstrate depth of love between two characters that could not stop or help themselves to love each other.

(THANKS @gillianthecat and @lelephantsnail, for the encouragement! Fantastic recommendation.)

#eien no kino #eternal yesterday #micchan x koichi #koichi x micchan #inoue sora #komiya rio #eternal yesterday meta

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kireshai · 2 years

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Current Watchlist Game

I was tagged by @iamdarthbader, and honestly I took too long to get this done because I had the stupid idea of giffing things and that takes me forever. Here we go!

Currently Watching (Somewhat in order of enjoyment)

Love In The Air - I'm here for messy, toxic and epic romances. The show is insane and so giffable, it is just a ton of fun for me. I've also enjoyed a bunch of the background music, there are some real bangers in there.

Vice Versa - I've been enjoying this since the first episode, and it's been pretty solid if not great throughout. The visual design - sets, costuming, post-production - have been fantastic and the colour theming is so well done.

The Eclipse - An intriguing mystery with amazing production design and UST through the roof? This is shaping up to be an amazing show with really important messaging regarding non-comformity. Khaotung not playing a softboy is also new and interesting.

Unforgotten Night - Possibly the most unintentionally hilarious show I've seen in a while (or maybe casting Yoon after his history of crack was intentional). I have so much fun with the bizarre choices in this show, and I do not regret my decision to re-use the shitty tigger tattoo gif for this post.

About Youth - It's only 2 episodes so far, but I'm digging the vibe and style of the show. Got some great music, and I will not be taking questions about why I chose to show the second couple in the gif.

My Only 12% - I started this one a little late, but I've caught up now. Earth's ability to convincingly play a high schooler is criminal, and I'm a big fan of the potential for an uno reverse pining plot. Chomping at the bit for the timeskip already.

Takara-kun and Amagi-kun - This reminds me so much of the heart-rending high-school shonen-ai I've read for years. Sweet and simple, the actors are obviously a bit new to things, but they're doing an admirable job for newbies.

Currently Rewatching

Triage - I will probably never stop rewatching Triage. The plot was so strong, I loved so many of the performances, the medical scenes were really top-tier (except the CPR, lol), and there was some really amazing camerawork that elevated the material.

Manner of Death - I have ascended to the role of Sammon simp. It definitely helps that Max and Tul are such strong actors, especially together. The murder and human trafficking show has become a comfort watch for me, please don't ask why.

Love Mechanics (2022) - I have loved this new version so much more than the original attempt. I'm really glad they got a redo and that Yin and War returned. War is just a really strong actor and Yin has come so far since the first time around.

Fish Upon the Sky - I actually love me some wacky comedy BLs, and while not the strongest, I have a lot of fun with this. I was brought back to it by watching the trailer for Pond and Phuwin's upcoming show.

Looking Forward To...

Never Let Me Go - Pond and Phuwin's upcoming show looks super angsty and dramatic. I dig it. Also, why do all the shows this year have mafia, lol?

Moonlight Chicken - I took way too long to watch 1000 Stars and Cupid's Last Wish, but I was so glad when I did. Earth and Mix work really well together, and I'm interested in seeing them in something a little less sweet and innocent this time around.

Manifesting an official announcement for... Transplant - Please, I want this so much. Please, please, please, please... You cannot be surprised by this.

I have no idea on the etiquette of who I should tag, but I'd like to ask @queersouthasian, @gillianthecat and @thequeenofsastiel to have a go.

#bl drama #triage #manner of death #fish upon the sky #love mechanics #the eclipse series #vice versa #love in the air #unforgotten night #takara kun to amagi kun #about youth #my only 12%

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littleragondin · 1 month

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9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better:

I have been tagged by @my-rose-tinted-glasses and @troubled-mind, thank you both! (っ˘ω˘ς )

3 Ships You Like: Currently, I am still basking in the warmth and kindness of Kasuga and Nomoto from She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat (probably going to be stuck there for a while ngl).

I am also still quietly invested in Zorro x Luffy from the One Piece Live Action, in a way I haven’t been since I read the first two dozens volumes of One Piece about… twenty years ago …

And I have restarted Khun Chai so the itch is back for Tian and Jiu.

First Ship Ever:

Not sure about first ship ever, but I saw something about Peach Girl the other day, and I was reminded of how hard it was for me to decide if I wanted her to end with Toji or Okayasu lol (this and Evangelion were my first manga ever)

Otherwise in the first ones, there is GaaLee from Naruto I guess. I think that’s the first story where I really started shipping/writing and reading fics/and swapping the characters around.

Last Song You Heard:

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It's a Fry and Laurie kinda evening. Gosh, I still know the lyrics by heart...

Favorite Childhood Book:

I used to read so much (where has all that reading time gone etc…) so it changed often. But I was a huuuuge fan of Artemis Fowl (he was a genius! And a villain! And he loved his mom!! and Holy was so badass!).

There was also a french SF series for kids, Kerri et Megane, that I loved SO much (they were ‘orphans’ who in the first volume hide in a spaceship to try to find Kerri’s parents), and it had gorgeous illustrations and I was obsessed.

Currently Reading:

I am in a terrible reading slump I’m afraid. I need to finish Love in the Big City (part 3 kinda broke my heart so I’m having trouble getting back on the saddle), as well as Flux by Jinwoo Chong, and I have started Textual Poachers by Henry Jenkins. So instead of reading any of that, I restarted Escalier C by Elvire Murail – that I have read a dozen times already but what can you do.

Currently watching:

Same thing, I guess. Things are going slow here too. Week to week I am keeping up with Sukiyanen kedo do yaro ka and 23.5 degrees (yes yes there is only one episode out but it still counts). I am also slooooowly catching back up on Ossan’s Love Returns, Kamen Rider Revice, and Pale Moon, as well as working my way through Leverage (I’m halfway through season 4). And I am binging Khun Chai again right now, for comfort.

Currently consuming:

I just finished a cassoulet (sponsored by my brother who seems to always worry that I will forget the taste of French food and sent me home with cans of food this year) and am eating a yogurt to top it off.

Currently craving:

Some sushis (unattainable) and some mango ice cream (more attainable once I go grocery shopping I guess).

If you feel so inclined (but of course no pressure) I will tag @benkaaoi @sparklyeyedhimbo @petrichoraline @gillianthecat @bengiyo @isaksbestpillow and also @scienceoftheidiot and @coquelicoq .｡.:*☆

#tag games #start of the year has been so busy with work #(which sucks)#and on top of that I keep getting sick #(also sucks)#so my media enjoyment has been put on the backburner I'm afraid #(it mega sucks)#but that's where we stand as of today lol #Youtube

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jjsanguine · 7 months

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Rules: list 10 of your comfort shows and then tag 10 people

Tagged by @bengiyo . I actually don't rewatch shows very often, or at least not the same ones every time, but here's some shows I've watched a lot of in no particular order.

Alien Biospheres. This is a YouTube series but I've watched it a lot. If you watched James Cameron's Avatar and don't care about the plot but would watch a documentary on how they designed the creatures + plants this is the webseries for you. If you like spec bio then I would also recommend Serina.

Cherry Magic. I write songs for fun and my life is too boring to be great inspiration, so most of them reference scenarios in shows I'm watching that I find funny or just stick with me for some reason. Kurosawa's personality inspired one of my best ones.

Coffee Prince. This got me into kdrama + so much of it still holds up. Like, remember how homophobic the 2000s were? That's a feat.

The King's Affection. This is like the best girl disguises as a guy kdrama since Coffee Prince, and I watched a lot of them before I figure out I was nonbinary. I was glued to my seat. My writing project @the-prince-is-not-a-woman was partially inspired by me watching this so many times.

Mortel. It's like this show was made for me. Vodun, found family, polyamorus subtext, mystery, despising someone but having noone else to turn to, trauma, comedy, banger music. It was made by Netflix though, so of course it was cancelled on a cliffhanger.

Power Rangers 2017. This film is objectively goofy but I love it so much. Billy was the first explicitly autistic character I think I saw ever, and he set my expectations for canonically autistic characters high.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo. Apart from being a good show, Attorney Woo is the only other character on my list of canonically autistic characters that I like, which is funny because both attorney Woo and Billy were played by allistic actors.

The Path. I enjoyed seasons 1 & 2 but I've rewatched season 3 many times for my baby Caleb. I talked about a pastor's son and he's like the perfect example. If the show hadn't tragically been cancelled I would have loved to see what they did with his character, because after leaving his family for his boyfriend and by extension his boyfriend's daddy's apocalypse adjacent cult (which is a positive if you can believe it) socially speaking he was essentially in the same position he started off in, minus worrying about homophobia. He could have blossomed or spiralled, who knows. That's quality side character creation. This show also inspired the list "cheating on your girlfriend with your wife" which has to be the best of my lists of niche tropes.

Triage: time travel and time loop stories can so easily swerve into being terrible when there isn't enough thought put into the time travel mechanic but when they're good they're really good.

Shelter 2007: so many of the queer films I watched as a teenager were depressing, I could have given up on ql entirely if I didn't watch this heartwarming film.

Honourable mentions:

Be My Favourite. It finished airing literally 2 months ago so it really hasn't had time to gain the status of old reliable but yeah. I've watched episode 1 probably 10 times at this point, because I would pore over the whole show waiting for the next episode. I was writing essays.

Nowhere Boys: I love forced proximity + conspirationality. It's one of the reasons I love Mortel. It's a quality teen drama.

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir, aka Miraculous Ladybug. This show is my Riverdale. It's ridiculous and I don't recommend it and I can't watch the english dub because I'd cringe too much so I watch it in French, but I started watching when I was like 15 so I'm locked in forever. It keeps dragging me back.

Going to try my hand at actually tagging people so,,,

@anotherlovr @writerwithoutsound @dudeyuri @irritablebovinesyndrome @gillianthecat @threezoz @sparklyeyedhimbo @respectthepetty @one-ghogh@heretherebedork

#tag game #alien biospheres #cherry magic #coffee prince #the kings affection #mortel #power rangers 2017 #extraordinary attorney woo #the path hulu #triage #shelter 2007 #be my favourite #nowhere boys #miraculous ladybug

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bl-bracket · 10 months

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Bracket Statistics #4!

Here we go with some more bracket stats! Note: this is the comprehensive stats for the polls Poor Little Meow Meow, Green Flag, Most Whipped, Autistic Swag, Bisexual Swag, Babygirl, and Gender Envy. For the stats for the Best Kiss Bracket, check out my post here!

Also if you want to see a couple great posts breaking down the seeding for the Best Kiss and Gender Envy brackets, check out @gillianthecat 's great posts on it! (linked) I was thinking about doing a post on it myself, but they beat me to the punch with a much more organized post than what I was going to do!

There have now been 77 different dramas that have been in these brackets. 46 are from Thailand, 10 are from Japan, 4 are from China, 7 are from Taiwan, and 10 are from South Korea

Compared to the statistics before Gender Envy, there have been a total of 14 new dramas added, 8 from Thailand, 4 from Japan, 1 from Taiwan, and 1 from South Korea.

The new dramas are: Be My Favorite (Thailand), Dear Doctor I'm Coming For Soul (Thailand), First Love Again (South Korea), He's Coming to Me (Thailand), Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires to be Recognized (Japan), Love By Chance (Thailand), Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (Japan), Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But To Kiss! (Japan), Papa & Daddy (Taiwan), Secret Crush on You (Thailand), Step by Step (Thailand), The Novelist (Japan), Together With Me (Thailand), and Y-Destiny (Thailand).

There are now 160 individual characters who have been submitted. 104 were from Thailand, 16 were from Japan, 12 were from China, 11 were from Taiwan, and 17 were from South Korea.

There were 35 new characters in the Gender Envy Bracket. 23 were from Thailand, 6 were from Japan, 2 were from China, 2 were from Taiwan, and 2 were from South Korea.

The 23 new characters from Thailand were: Pear (2gether), Ink (Bad Buddy), Pisaeng (Be My Favorite), Uea (Bed Friend), Nuer (Cutie Pie), Tuaphee (Dear Doctor I'm Coming For Soul), James (Fish Upon the Sky), Med (He's Coming to Me), Oh-Aew (I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You The Moon), Tankhun (Kinnporsche), Tay (Kinnporsche), Pete (Love By Chance), Alan (Moonlight Chicken), Eugene (Not Me), Khaojao (Secret Crush on You), Sky (Secret Crush on You), Ae (Step by Step), Jaab (Step by Step), Waree (The Eclipse), Fai (Together with Me), Talay (Vice Versa), Kaeng (Y-Destiny), and Nuea (Y-Destiny).

The 6 new characters from Japan were: Mamoru Nekoyashiki (Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires to be Recongized), Hashimoto (Kieta Hatsukoi), Shintaro (Minato Shouji Coin Laundry), Sasaki Mugi (Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But To Kiss!), Takara (Takara Kun to Amagi Kun), and Rio Kijima (The Novelist).

The 2 new characters from China were: Xie Wang (Word of Honor) and Zhou Zi Shu (Word of Honor)

The 2 new characters from Taiwan were: Amber (DNA Says Love You) and Jerry (Papa & Daddy)

The 2 new characters from South Korea were: Yoo Sinbi (First Love Again) and Yoon Won (The Eighth Sense)

If we include characters who have been in multiple brackets, 171 were from Thailand, 23 were from Japan, 19 were from China, 16 were from Taiwan, and 27 were from South Korea

58 of all unique characters have been in more than one poll (opposed to 47 before). The most amount of times a characters has been in a bracket is 5, which includes Pat (Bad Buddy), Prapai (Love in the Air), and Jang Jaeyoung (Semantic Error).

The drama with the most amount of characters is now Kinnporsche: The Series with 8 characters (Kinn, Kim, Pete, Porsche, Porchay, Tankhun, Tay, and Vegas). The drama with the second most amount of characters is Not Me: The Series with 7 characters (Black, Dan, Eugene, Sean, Todd, White, and Yok)

Gun Attaphan still has the most characters (3) (Black, White, Third), but First Kanaphan has now joined him with 3 characters as well (Akk, Alan, Yok). The other actors with multiple characters are: Earth Katsamonnat (Seeiw, Intouch), Force (Akk, Gun), Fluke Gawin (Pisaeng, Dan), Gemini (Tinn, Heart), Khaotung (Gaipa, Ayan), Louis (Meen, Thua), Love (Pear, Pa), Mix (Win, Wen), Off (Khai, Sean), Phuwin (Pi, Nuengdiao), Satang (Sound, James), and Zorzo (Ae, Tiffy).

Zorzo and Love are the first actresses to have multiple characters they've played be in the brackets

We've gone from 4 female characters, to 12! (Pear, Ink, Pa, Hashimoto, Tiffy, Eugene, Choi Yuna, Ae, Waree, Yoon Won, Fai, and Manow) and now 2 nonbinary characters*! (Yoo Sinbi and Satsaki Mugi)

*that's based on what I've read in the propaganda and the tags, I'm not 100% certain if it's correct as I haven't gotten to watch either drama yet

#bl bracket #bracket statistics

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gillianthecat · 7 months

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How did it take me until twenty twenty-three to realize I'm a big Hozier fan?? Where have I been hiding?

(I'm gonna blame Sergei Polunin for this one. First "Take Me To Church" got waay overplayed, so even though it's a great song I got tired of it. And then Polunin did that dance film of it, which was beautifully shot but honestly he's better at classical ballet than contemporary, and then he turned out to be a bigoted twatwaffle. And I think I subconsciously associated Hozier with him and mentally threw the baby out with the bath water.

I'm so sorry, Hozier 😭😭 I know you had nothing to do with that video or him. I am repenting now. And catching up.)

Anyways, thank you Tumbr for pushing him back into my consciousness!

#hozier #music #about gillianthecat #late life epiphanies

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bengiyo · 1 year

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“Eternal Yesterday” and the Need for Sad Boy Hours

I have more things to say about where queer narratives about unpleasant aspects of growing up and our pasts fit into our current media landscape. For now, I want to talk about why I love Eternal Yesterday even though it kills a queer in the first episode and then trots his corpse around for seven more episodes.

I’ve enjoyed seeing the commentary from @gillianthecat, @squeakygeeky and @waitmyturtles (and others. I’m so sorry if I forgot you.)

To get a sense of where I’m coming from, I’m going to transcribe the first voice note I sent immediately after the show ending (with some minor redactions to maintain the anonymity of others):

“Hello, friends. I think Eternal Yesterday is going to be part of the list of BLs from this year that I will be forever talking about. I decided to rate it a 10, but it isn’t a 10 in the triumphant sense, because it’s a show about grief. One of them is dead, and the story is about continuing to live your life even if the love of your life is not there. And, I am deeply saddened by what we’re left with this show, but no BL has really forced me to reckon with some of the grief of my adolescence and losing someone I cared about; and losing other friendships along the way, too. Like, I lost a boy I loved to transphobia, and I think, honestly, that that’s okay.

“I think a lot of people are going to rate this show poorly for a lot of different reasons. They’re going to rate it poorly for its sad themes. They’re going to rate it poorly because they didn’t use magic to revive Koichi at the end. They’re going to rate it poorly because it was Japanese in terms of how they handled the kissing, though I think it was adequate for this show: particularly for Japan. But I loved this.

“I loved this not in the way that feels like a warm blanket or makes you feel all happy and gay about yourself. I loved this...in the way someone sitting with you quietly after a funeral in your house, when you’ve made all the food and they’ve put everything away, and you’re just sitting there and you’re weeping. You don’t necessarily want to be held, but they wait there and let you do what you need to do. I think there’s beauty in that.

“I think that queer cinema gets a bad rep sometimes for how sad some of it can be, but some of us are sad. Some of us suffered. Some of us did not have a great time being gay; and even if we grew up and loved things, some of us have been through a lot of pain. [My best friend] has buried far more people than you can even fathom to AIDS, and I think that we can’t just have one or the other. We can just have sad shows; we just can’t have overly fluffed out shows.

“I think it’s good for the genre to give people the emotional space to explore grief and meditate on it and process how they’re feeling. And I think it’s okay if that’s not for everyone, and I think that’s maybe going to be one of the things I talk about this year. This is the year BL bifurcated, and not every show was for every fan. I think that ended up being really okay, and I am glad that I stared into my own grief with this show.

“I’m glad I didn’t feel sadness and just run away from it, and pretend that I can’t ever be that. Because I am, more often than I admit sometimes. I get really sad and really lonely. I’ve buried a lot of family members in recent years, and I really struggle to make queer friends and build meaningful long-term [local] queer friendships other than [My Bestie]. Sometimes that feels very lonely, and it’s why I gravitate to BL, I think, because I can imagine a different experience.

“So, I will say that Eternal Yesterday was really lovely and really poignant, and I’m going to talk about this show more I think as we wrap of this year. If any of you took the time to [read] this, thank you.

I remember talking in the chat about how this show brought me back to my love for Canadian poet Shane Koyczan. He has a poem about the death of a good friend that came rushing back to me while watching Eternal Yesterday. A kind user has transcribed the poem here.

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I don’t think Eternal Yesterday is going to be for everyone, but what I loved so much about the show was that it never pretended to be anything other than it was, unlike Make Our Days Count or something like Bite Me. We’ve had quite a few BLs using the supernatural this year to discuss grief, but this is the only I think focused on the grief exclusively. Others complicated the grief with the romance, rather than focusing on the romance as the source of the grief.

I’m in my 30s now. No matter how much love and care we receive and pour into our lives and relationships, we will all face challenges and losses. I am personally thankful that a show tackled a topic as heavy as this with grace and compassion (see @waitmyturtles post). Their perspective on the gentleness of being given a grace period to say goodbye to someone you love as a mystical element in world is beautiful.

This show ends with Mitsuru taking their trip again in honor of Koichi, but he reveals to us that he did go on to train as a doctor and has been in school for five years. His dad and the other doctor are now seeing each other properly at the conclusion of her divorce. One of their friends remembers Koichi and continues to honor him. The teacher sent him a picture of Koichi and Mitsuru together. This to me implies a hope that someday Mitsuru may heal enough to love again, but he’s not alone. He didn’t also die with Koichi. The love he shared for Koichi pushed him to accept his calling and reframe the relationship with his father.

For me, this show is a highlight of the year, and an example of what Japan does best: taking things seriously. It doesn’t need to soften the painful elements, because it can be gentle everywhere else. I’m a deeply melancholy person, and so it’s why I often am able to appreciate Japanese and French cinema. There’s something about the way those cultures storytelling traditions handle morbid and dour concepts that always works for me.

I know Eternal Yesterday hurt for many of you in ways you weren’t ready for, but I hope this and other’s wonderful posts help you to find some peace with your feelings. Thank you all for joining me on this ride.

#eternal yesterday #Eien no Kino #eien no kinou #Japanese BL #Ben writes #Youtube

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respectthepetty · 10 months

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Hi RTP! 👋 big fan.

I'm watching We Best Love: Fighting Mr. 2nd (and I think I like it more than the first season???)

Anyway, I've seen your color post about them, but in S2 specifically I've been noticing reflections, mirrors and glass barriers are a thing a lot? I'd love to hear your thoughts, if you're willing.

Peace and love! 🖤💙

Anon, you like the second season of We Best Love more than the first season?!

You like this

over this?!

I won't fight you because both hold a special place in my heart and on my Top Taiwanese BLs list since Taiwan finally delivered me a color-coded BL TWICE (which I missed the first time around until @gillianthecat asked me about it! - Look at Zhou Shu Yi give Gao Shi De his heart while they wear their respective colors! )

So I'm thrilled to answer this ask, but know I won't be mentioning the second or third pair. That's too much! I gotta focus on the main couple.

I also will be writing about how the show used space in general to reinforce the narrative. I'm unsure if you have finished watching the second season, so let me warn you that there will be spoilers ahead.

SPOILERS!

We started the second season with a flashback to how it all went sideways for the boys after the first season ended, and the aftermath gives us the first reflection of Zhou Shu Yi who is heartbroken and dismayed.

After this, Zhou Shu Yi is closed off emotionally AND physically. He lives in a concrete house!

And even though the entire workspace is an open concept with glass offices,

The main office they argue in has the shades down on all the windows, so people can't see inside. Even when Zhou Shu Yi is riding in the car with his friends, the windows have curtains to block out the world.

While Gao Shi De's house has plenty of sunlight streaming in from the windows, and he tends to talk outside, out in the open.

We only see Zhou Shu Yi's emotions in reflections because mirrors show us the truth (mirror, mirror, on the wall and blah blah blah).

So even though Zhou Shu Yi claims he is over Gao Shi De and continues to hide his emotions behind shaded windows, concrete walls, and barriers, the mirrors and the colors don't lie. Since you read the colors post, you know that no matter what Zhou Shu Yi does, he is always surrounded by Gao Shi De's blue, just like he was when they were in high school, but now he is staring at a shattered image of them.

However, both guys pick up a trait from the other. After their sexually charged back-and-forth in the shaded office, Gao Shi De's reflection in the BLACK table shows he is quickly breaking down due to Zhou Shu Yi's animosity.

And Zhou Shu Yi decides to step outside and speak openly about his lingering feelings for Gao Shi De while wearing a BLUE stripe across his shirt.

But both their issues finally come to the surface when Zhou Shu Yi learns about the lines Gao Shi De and his father crossed without his consent. We visually see those barriers being crossed as well.

This forces Zhou Shu Yi in a box, alone and isolated.

And the two who are responsible for their own predicaments are forced outside to clear the air to get rid of the barrier between them.

Because everything is out in the open now, Zhou Shu Yi's world starts to brighten up, and we see him near the windows since his feelings are no longer being repressed.

Even when he gets sick, he ends up in Gao Shi De's blue car that has windows without the black-out curtains.

Zhou Shu Yi might still be upset at Gao Shi De, but he is willing to forgive him, so they are now in the glass box together since their feelings are completely out in the open.

We get a call back to the bed scene from season one, but this time, Zhou Shu Yi 's eyes are open and the light is shining through because there are no more secrets.

And this honesty transfers to the office. We now see the boys in the glass office together, without all the shades down.

We also see Gao Shi De trusting Zhou Shu Yi marked by him standing in front of the open blinds, while Yu Zhen Zuan, standing behind the closed blinds, does not trust Zhou Shu Yi.

The guys are stronger together now that everything is out in the open, and they revisit the bridge from the first season where they laid everything bare and confessed to each other.

Because even though they have to be secretive to find the person who is responsible for the company leak (which is why they have to go back into the shaded office)

They remain in their own open glass box of honesty.

The only remaining barrier is the one between Gao Shi De and Zhou Shu Yi's father, who still wants to keep secrets from Zhou Shu Yi.

Gao Shi De speaks with him in front of the window acting as the divide, but since it is a window with no curtains and the blinds are open, we already know that Zhou Shu Yi's father can no longer allow his secrets to be the barrier between him and his son's boyfriend.

With everything finally settled, the boys enjoy their glass box of honesty over dinner with the light shining on them.

And the series ends with their friends getting engaged, and them coming back to to where it all began - in the openness of the blue water, which is the biggest reflection of their love.

Thanks for this ask, Anon. I'm making a separate post of two more color items I noticed while collecting a few images for this post. Our Blue Boy, Gao Shi De, had a blue cell phone and blue chopsticks when talking with and eating with his Black Brooder boyfriend, but I never noticed that, so once again, thanks, and I hope I answered your question!

#We Best Love #we best love: fighting mr. 2nd #background noise #barriers x boundaries #the colors mean things #Blue Boy x Black Brooder #Where is my third season?!

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iguessitsjustme · 1 year

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To My Star - Music

It has been 6 months since @gillianthecat requested a music analysis of To My Star. I said I’d do it in a few weeks and I started it then shit life happened but I wanted to actually do the analysis so here it is…a million years later. I will say this might be a bit disjointed because some of my notes are from 6 months ago and the rest are from the past week so apologies in advance for that. I did want to make this a longer post since it’s been so long since it was requested so I might have gotten a bit carried away.

As always this is my disclaimer that I’m just an idiot with a somewhat decent ear and I enjoy soundtracks. I am wrong sometimes so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Before I get into specifics, my general thoughts are that it’s a fine soundtrack. It’s not my favorite, but it does work very well for the show. It does a good job of keeping the tone that the show is setting. Most of the time the soundtrack helps set the tone of the show, but for To My Star it felt like the actors really set the tone for the show and the music followed. It wasn’t as cohesive as I really like, but it worked well enough that it didn’t stand out as not working. But with that said, I did really enjoy it. Overall it felt like they sampled youtube’s royalty free music catalog except for certain instances, but what they did choose to do actually worked really well but more on that later.

One of the main thingsI noticed when doing my rewatch for this, is that To My Star utilizes silence quite a bit. While there are some instances of music when Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon weren’t around, for the most part, the music only followed their story. Other characters were mostly given silence when they were the focus, which was an interesting choice. It worked for TMS because it wasn’t the only time there was silence. There was always silence during Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon’s important moments. The music waited until something was said before coming in and joining the scene. So it wasn’t as jarring as it would have been to have silence for the other characters. The silence being used for Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon’s important moments made it so when it was silent for the other characters, the audience paid attention because their part in the story is also important. TMS is ultimately about Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon but it’s not just their story as they are impacted by the other characters around them.

But as it is Han Ji Woo and Kang Seo Joon’s story, what were some of their big moments that were impacted by silence? There are a few but I’m only going to talk about what I think is the most important one. At the beginning, Kang Seo Joon hears a crash and has a panic attack as a result (been there my dude, it sucks). There is silence before the crash that leads into the panic attack and there’s silence at the start of the panic attack as well. Then we begin hearing a repetitive, dissonant note during the attack, but it’s backed by calming music that grows louder as Han Ji Woo cares for Kang Seo Joon. This worked almost a little too well for me. I don’t like being reminded of my own panic attacks like that, ya know? But it does a good job of using music to convey what Kang Seo Joon is feeling. We see the panic attack and we can hear it. It’s jarring.

The biggest surprise to me about the soundtrack was realizing that Kang Seo Joon and Han Ji Woo have different genres. Some shows do this and do it really well. A more recent example that I really loved was Never Let Me Go. Both boys had their own distinct genre that had to reconcile with each other when those two were together. That’s probably the one of the easiest shows to watch and pick up on the distinct music for each character. It’s far, far more subtle in TMS, but it’s there.

During the show, Han Ji Woo is a jazzy boy. It’s a smooth jazz, which fits Han Ji Woo’s character very well. He’s soft and subtle and his life should be formulaic and set in routine, but nothing has gone as expected. His routine has been thrown off. He still has his calm, almost stoic exterior, but inside he’s facing turmoil. Kang Seo Joon has come into his life and brought something new and unexpected. He’s facing feelings he wasn’t aware he could still feel and he’s willing to do things he didn’t realize he’s willing to do. Once his turmoil is settled though, he reverts back to what I believe his true genre is: classical. Han Ji Woo is a piano concerto. He’s soft and beautiful and strong. He can get loud and stand up for himself when needed and he can become muted when he’s feeling a little lost. Han Ji Woo settles into his new routine with Kang Seo Joon and he’s no longer a jazzy boy. He’s back to himself as a classical boy. The inner turmoil and struggle Han Ji Woo has felt is made so abundantly clear in this line:

At this moment in the show, Han Ji Woo’s jazz was slowly being taken over by Kang Seo Joon’s music. He was already scared because his genre was off but now even not-his-genre is being overtaken by Kang Seo Joon.

Kang Seo Joon has been consistently coming into Han Ji Woo’s life and overtaking his music. Kang Seo Joon is pop music. He is fun and upbeat. He is the music that so many people in the world listen to. I mean, it’s called pop music for a reason! At first it makes sense that Kang Seo Joon should have the more formulaic music. He seems shallow on the surface, but as always, that’s not the case as he has hidden depth and struggles. A lot of the pop songs that play are in English which was surprising, but they could be a hint at Kang Seo Joon being more than he seems. He’s not just the cookie-cutter celebrity that everyone, including Han Ji Woo, sees him as. He has hopes and fears and he has experienced his fair share of pain. And when he meets and starts falling for Han Ji Woo? Their music starts to blend.

When Han Ji Woo reaches for Kang Seo Joon’s face, about to take an eyelash off, but stops and walks away, leaving them both feeling like something has shifted in that moment, their music combines. It’s both poppy and jazzy. This is the moment that they both start to become aware that there are feelings floating around.

By the end of the show, Han Ji Woo has embraced his jazziness because he realizes that his life isn’t going to go to routine now that he’s with Kang Seo Joon. When he’s alone, classical music follows him. But when he’s with Kang Seo Joon, he’s back to jazz. And in the very last scene, when those two are in bed and begin making out, the music is pop music but with a little jazz element thrown in. They’ve found their harmony and their balance as their two genres are able to meet to become one.

Here are some other things I noticed but they didn’t make it into the post itself:

-When Han Ji Woo is running to Kang Seo Joon at the end, it’s a pop song playing

-The music in the restaurant is smooth jazz

#to my star #to my star the series #to my star bl #sorry it took so long i was going through it #and music analysis posts always take me much longer cause i want to really think about them more than other posts i make #anyway i hope you enjoyed this five million bajillion years later #also i want it known that if you ever request something from me i will do it even if it means waiting a little bit #also not gonna mention that it’s possible that because han ji woo is only a jazzy boy with kang seo joon #that could have led to him not feeling like himself #and been one of the reasons he had to leave in tms 2 #watching tms just made me want to watch tms 2 again #i actually really loved the second season

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clairificusrex · 1 year

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New Japanese BL: Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine, starring Ryo Matsuda & Shogo Tazuru.

Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office. He may be a proper adult now, but everything about the emotions Yamashita awakens in him feels like a teenager's first love...

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Definitely pleased to see more Japanese BL after the success of all the shows we got in 22!

@absolutebl @bengiyo @gillianthecat @heretherebedork @waitmyturtles

#bl drama #japanese bl #can i buy your love from a vending machine #coming soon?#no international platform yet #Instagram

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waitmyturtles · 1 year

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CW: MAJOR SPOILER ALERTS FOR THE MOVIE “THE PORNOGRAPHER: PLAYBACK.” LONG POST!

I feel like there’s been something humming in the wind lately around the franchise of The Novelist/The Pornographer. We’ve seen a cameo by the incomparable Izuka Kenta in Candy Color Paradox, Yoshida Munehiro is about to cameo in The End of the World, With You, and The Novelist’s Twitter account has been buzzing with news about new DVDs and theater showings of the last installment of the franchise, The Pornographer: Playback. Miki Koichiro, the screenwriter and director of the franchise, has TWO shows out at the moment, the aforementioned TEOTWWY, as well the sessy-sessy Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu, the three seasons of which I am dying to watch as soon as there’s a solidly bad season of QL sometime in the future (which seems like will never happen in my lifetime, bless all these amazing QLs for coming out every season!). Couple all of this with recent reviews of the OG Novelist and Mood Indigo series by the fabulous @gillianthecat (here) and @respectthepetty (here), and I was happily reminded of good times of watching all of these parts way way back when I first discovered QL/BL in 2019/20.

When the amazing @lurkingshan commented on a stray thoughts post by @bengiyo that she had seen The Pornographer: Playback, I was VERY intrigued. With HUGE thanks and big ups to @lurkingshan, I watched it over the weekend, and here are my thoughts! I’m going to put up a break to keep y’all from getting spoiled if you want to avoid it.

First off, let’s make sure we know what all the installments are, and that we’ve watched what we’ve needed to get to the movie. We have:

1) 2018 -- The Novelist: the original meeting between student Kuzumi Haruhiko and adult author Kijima Rio

2) 2019 -- Mood Indigo: a prequel depicting the sexual engagements between Kijima Rio and his classmate, Kido Shirou

3) 2021 -- The Pornographer: Spring Life: a very short vignette set 2 1/2 years after Kuzumi and Kijima first met. They’re now in a long-distance relationship, and Kuzumi visits Kijima in the countryside at Kijima’s sister’s house, where he’s living as he continues to write.

(The first three works are all available on Viki.)

So I was BEYOND THRILLED to get to watch the movie and see all of this wrap up. If most of y’all only watched up to Mood Indigo, you saw Kijima re-meet with Kuzumi. Kuzumi, at that time, was just becoming a successful employee in the advertising business.

Spring Life hints that things are still going well for Kuzumi, and that he was looking forward to spending a summer break with his long-distance boyfriend. Most notably, the piece ends with Kuzumi jumping from honorifics, by asking Kijima if he (Kuzumi) could call Kijima “Rio-san,” which we know indicates intimacy. Kijima’s like, whatever you’d like, and the smile on Kuzumi’s face takes up the whole screen, it seems.

So then we finally get to The Pornographer: Playback, which begins during the same summer break. Continuing with the theme and mood that I like to call melosexual (the music alone of this franchise is SO INTENSE, let alone the heaty sex scenes), the guys head to a love hotel and do their thang. At the end of the night, as they’re getting dressed, Kijima finds a business card in Kuzumi’s wallet for a hostess club that Kuzumi is forced to go to with work colleagues.

Without divulging a tremendous amount more about the plot at this moment, the movie is basically structured around the push-and-pull of Kijima’s inability to move authentically closer to people -- not just Kuzumi, but also his sister, who Kijima disappoints repeatedly by backing out of family events.

Kijima’s essentially paralyzed by fear and insecurity that he is a terrible person -- one that is not worthy of love. His sister is so overwhelmingly angry about it that she essentially kicks him out of the house, and blames their mother for never calling him out on his namby-pamby bullshit (at least, that’s in her eyes). At another point in the movie, he frustrates Kuzumi so much that Kuzumi walks out on the relationship and heads back to Tokyo, a surprising move for the otherwise always-devoted younger companion.

It takes a serious scolding by a hospitalized and flirtatious owner of a karaoke snack bar (you read that right) for Kijima to get his damn head back on straight and fight for his relationship with Kuzumi. (And, HILARIOUSLY, I was cackling -- in the process of this, Kijima has KIDO -- KIDO OF ALL PEOPLE -- call Kuzumi on Kijima’s behalf, to get Kuzumi to talk to Kijima to reconcile. KIJIMA used KIDO to call KUZUMI. Lord.)

Okay, so what I’m really getting at here is that the movie showed that the whole franchise was missing two KEY elements that the first three parts did not have: comedy and authentic emotional connection. There was actually a little comedy in this! Besides the whole Kido thing (which I’ll get back to in a minute), there were a couple of bumbling moments that were designed to elicit some lightness, mostly with the snack bar owner, a flighty gal with a lovely son who tries to hook up with takes Kijima under her wing.

About the other element: we FINALLY, FINALLY SAW KIJIMA SHOWING SOME EMOTION ABOUT SOMETHING. He really regretted letting things go to shit with Kuzumi. Kuzumi called Kijima out for wasting Kuzumi’s time to leave work in Tokyo and visit the countryside. Kuzumi felt like Kijima wasn’t taking him seriously, and was constantly pulling back. I mean -- Kijima was living away from Kuzumi.... for what, exactly? It’s not ever clearly explained. And Kuzumi got angry and left.

This is a great time to mention the excellent post by @emotionallychargedtowel on pursuer-distancer dyads, because the Kijima-Kuzumi push-and-pull in this movie perfectly defined this dyad dance. When Kuzumi got fed the fuck up and pulled way back -- Kijima finally stepped into his emotion and owned his desire to be with Kuzumi.

Honestly, in the first three installments of this franchise -- I felt like Kijima really didn’t talk too much. I felt like he was far more defined by his brooding, his letting the winds take him to where he was at any given moment, ragingly sexual and lonely all at once. He simmered -- he was flinty, defensive, and used his sexual energy to dominate and burn the emotional energy all around himself.

The movie showed a TOTALLY different side of him. To me, the movie showed that his relationship with Kuzumi, long distance as it was, HAD a softening impact on him -- even to the point that Kijima dropped everything he was up to in the countryside to head to Tokyo and fight for the relationship. Kijima needed to be rendered totally alone, one last time, to come to realize that the connection he had with Kuzumi was worth fighting for.

And, yes, in the process of it, he brought back Kido in the mix -- which was also seriously poignant.

REALLY SERIOUS SPOILER HERE, y’all, especially if you love/hate/gaaahh that awful devil, Kido!

. . . . . .

Kido asks Kijima if they could have ever had the same kind of relationship as Kijima is fighting for with Kuzumi! AAAAAHHHH! AND! AND! KIJIMA SAYS, no way. We’re too similar.

WHICH IS TOTALLY TRUE! They’re both self-indulgent, selfish assholes! I mean, after that insane sex scene in Mood Indigo, Kido just fucking LEFT -- he just LEFT, and GOT MARRIED, and HAD A KID, and was like, peace the fuck out, I can’t actually be my honest queer self with you, Kijima, because I think that’s actually abnormal (oh, Kido, you internally messed up piece of shit, AAAHHH).

Whereas, as beautifully analyzed in @respectthepetty‘s review, Kuzumi represents honesty and openness -- the kind of traits that Kijima doesn’t have, but is aspiring to, in order to be with Kuzumi. AAAHHH.

I was seriously like, WHOA, WHAT AM I WATCHING HERE, at that moment. AND, AND? At the end of that scene? Kido wishes Kijima good luck. And says: “You better keep Kuzumi-kun. He’s a valuable asset.” Of course, what a Kido thing to say -- that humans are assets, commodities. But -- he sends Kijima off with good wishes.

And then.

Kijima reunites with Kuzumi. He called Kuzumi by Kuzumi’s name, Haruhiko. AND -- holy shit, y’all, my mind was blown. He tells Kuzumi that he loves Kuzumi by saying ichiban aishiteru.

I tell you, I was FLOORED. All throughout the movie, I’m like, “dang, Kijima keeps talking and talking, and I just don’t remember him TALKING all that much before in the other three series.”

And then he DROPS the ichiban aishiteru! And I think BOTH me AND Kuzumi are BOTH LIKE, WHAT THE DAMN, DUDE!

I’ve spoiled a LOT, but I won’t say more after this, except to say the following:

The ending was one of the happiest, LOVELIEST endings of a drama/movie I’ve seen in QL. Oh. my. god. Talk about SATISFYING. EVERY. CHECKBOX. MARKED. Takezai Terunosuke and Izuka Kenta were MAGNIFICENT. I had SERIOUS tears. They got in everything -- they got the heat, they got in FAMILY, LOTS OF FAMILY, GORGEOUS shots, FEELINGS. ALL OF IT.

@bengiyo made an excellent point recently in one of his reviews of TEOTWWY that it seems like Japan lately has only been doing high heat in stories about death. It’s an accurate point: all of the pieces of The Novelist came out well before TEOTWWY and Eternal Yesterday, the two most recent shows about death that had heaty elements. I kind of wonder about something. I wonder if other directors and screenwriters are like.... The Novelist did it the best. We can’t mess with that standard.

Because -- Takezai’s and Izuka’s acting in those scenes is BEYOND EXCELLENT. It was NECESSARILY EXCELLENT to end this franchise on such a warm, happy, COMPLETE high note.

Now that I can look back on all four parts of the whole franchise, what Miki Koichiro did for us by way of Kijima was to show the whole-scale growth of a man vis à vis love. This guy, Kijima -- a brilliant writer who was influenced by a sexually provocative teacher, someone who was left inexplicably behind by a tormented, internally homophobic lover/benefactor -- felt he was deserving of nothing. And then he found his something in Kuzumi. He nearly destroyed the relationship, multiple times. And as he fell and slipped while climbing the hill of happiness, he was able to get a stronger and stronger grip each time he tried harder. And he was supported by people around him, including family and random friends, to give him lift.

This movie was a lot more straightforward than I had honestly expected. I 100% expected more of the melosexualness of the first three parts of the series. Instead, what I got was a WHOLESOME (I can’t believe I’m using that word, but it’s true!), complete, and uplifting story of a man finding his true happiness in his lover, his companion, his chosen family. All of it certainly laced with heat, for sure, but also very deep, very convincing love.

It was utterly fabulous. It might be too emotional, maybe too family-oriented for some who preferred the dark heat of the previous installments. But Playback, in my eyes, was a perfect closing note for a man who honestly deserved happiness after the work, and the SELF-CHANGE he put in, to get love in the first place. If you are a fan of this whole series, and can get your hands on the movie, I beg you to watch it, even just for one of the best happy endings you’ll ever see in QLs.

#spoilers #the novelist #the pornographer #the novelist: playback #the novelist playback #the pornographer: playback #the pornographer playback #mood indigo #the novelist: spring life #the novelist spring life #the pornographer: spring life #the pornographer spring life #takezai terunosuke #izuka kenta #yoshida munehiro #miki koichiro

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