#a mentality like this and commenting like this does nothing

[moonshynecybin]

i thinkkkkk this one is gonna be part of something larger but here's the first part of a fic (2.8k so far) where the first chapter is literally just rosquez having a conversation in an airport set around jerez 2024… i also wanted to add some good ole marquez brother goof arounds:

“Look, if you’re just gonna make fun of me—”

“No, please! I wanna hear the rest of this,” Alex says, leaning into Marc’s space and raising his eyebrows, goofy. It makes Marc let out a big laugh— full and loud. He stretches against the plastic of the airport gate seating, the movement pulling at overtired muscles. It feels like they’ve been here forever.

It’s been a long journey back to Spain— storm delays and rerouting stranding them in the airport for hours. They’re still here waiting for a connecting flight, puttering away next to their gate and shooting the shit. It’s been a good weekend —a podium for him— but he’s tired, and ready to be home.

“No no no no, I’m done.” He settles into his seat, pushing Alex’s face away from him. Alex cackles, and Marc points at him. “But you should do that professionally!”

Alex pulls one of his mild, exasperated faces, and it makes Marc smile wider. They’re probably being too loud. Marc doesn’t care.

“You know,” Alex points out, dragging out the last syllable of know so it sounds like knowwwww, “You are the world’s absolute worst loser.” 

Marc shrugs. “It’s a good thing, too— in our line of work you have to be.” He’s unrepentant. It’s how he’s built.

He ignores the face that Alex is surely making and leans down to rummage through his carry on, looking for headphones. For sure, if he has to lose to anyone, he’d prefer it was Alex. With him, the nagging bite of loss usually manages to morph into something lighter, more fun, just because he knows Alex won’t ever blame him for how he gets, how involved he can be in winning. That doesn’t mean he enjoys losing—he’ll never enjoy that—but it takes it back to being a game. None of the anticipation of a sour aftermath that he’s faced in the past, the wait for the other foot to drop, and the play to slide towards resentment without him noticing.

“I doubt losing at a video game will help you gain a competitive edge on the track,” Alex asserts dryly, turning his attention back to his phone and tapping open the Kindle app. He’s been obsessed with those fantasy novels, lately. “You can’t win at everything.”

“Trust me, I know,” Marc laughs, rubbing at his arm. He needs to call his PT. Whatever. “But! I don’t think that first thing is true.” Banishing the thought from his head, he leans over to poke Alex in the arm. Alex swats at his hand, not looking up from his book, and Marc pokes him again, harder this time. “I have a winner mentality.”

“You have a loser mentality. You just lost.” Alex is staring at what Marc thinks is the table of contents.

“Semantics.” Another poke.

Alex looks up, incredulous. Victory. 

“You were cheating! And you still lost!” 

“But you don’t have any proof of that.”

And Alex shakes his head like he can’t believe him, laughs again. “You are insufferable.”

Marc grins and Alex sighs, scrubs a hand over his head.

“I’m going to go grab some water. Maybe eventually they’ll let us board this fucking plane. You want anything?”

Marc shakes his head.

“No, I’m good.” He ate earlier. He opens his phone back up, thumbs over his home screen. Nothing looks exciting. He hasn't been on instagram so much lately– avoiding comments.

He sighs and contemplates opening his dating app. He doesn’t.

Nothing’s felt— he’s busy. 

It’s always been too much— too complicated with his schedule, with travel, timezones, turning over battles in his head. Braking maneuvers and tire pressure edging out any relationship before it got off the ground properly. Lately, since his arm, and since Alex had told him to go find someone— it’s been nagging more.

But no one gets it. Not like he does. And he’s just never found someone that felt like they were worth all of the effort it would take, keeping a relationship together in a life like his, bending himself around racing. There’s been flashes, some false starts, but nothing has ever–

He hears a distracted chuckle behind his back, a light sound, happy, and it hooks him, hard. A sucker punch. He glances over, his previous train of thought abandoned.

It’s— 

He's heard that laugh before. 

They haven’t seen each other— properly, actually exchanging words— since last year. The end of the season. They were both in the bathroom at the Lights Out Gala. Marc in a tux, Vale in a flannel. Marc had held the door for Vale as he had left. 

Vale, once he’d registered his presence, had thrown him a thin lipped, restrained smile, and thanked him. Asked him vaguely about his surgery. Moved on.

And now he’s on the phone, a few feet away, and he probably hasn’t even seen Marc yet. Instead, he’s chattering lowly, head slightly tilted as he drags a thumb over the handle of his suitcase.

Marc has to wonder if stuff like this happens to other people.

Alex hasn’t left yet, but is about to. He's noticed, of course he noticed, and he tugs on Marc’s sleeve, voice low. “You need me to stay?”

Marc shrugs, shakes his head. He's been around Vale before, after everything, in close quarters even. It's fine. 

He's had a lot of practice.

Those last few years, before Vale retired, after Argentina—after Sepang, really, though he maybe hadn’t processed it yet— he worked on it a lot. On taking Vale off of the pedestal, making him more of a person. On realizing he was always going to have a different relationship to Vale than Vale would to him.

He works hard at that distance, enforcing it, maintaining it. Tending to it.

And he had gotten somewhere better, once he had realized that. Had stopped trying to say hi to him every time he saw him. Vale is his hero, and he knows by know that that’s never going to change completely. The precise way his presence lights Marc up, makes him giddy, the disbelieving undercurrent that Valentino Rossi knows his name— but he also has come to terms with the fact that it's never going to be like he imagined when he was twenty, and he thought maybe he could matter as much to Vale as he did to Marc.

He knows that.

But it was an adjustment. It took some time. It’s better now. He's used to it.

Now, he can sit at an airport gate with him and ignore him.

He’s probably been staring at his phone screen a little too hard. 

“Allora— so, how have you been?” A voice asks, simply, closer to his ear than it should be. Of course.

He puts the emphasis on you, the full force of him narrowed on the word. Marc stays very, forcibly still. Projects calm.

Vale’s across from him, now, got there without him noticing. His legs are spread out wide in the seat across from Marc, hat pulled low and posture easy. His face is neutral— pleasant. Marc knows that means absolutely nothing.

Vale’s gaze charts over him, carefully, taking him in. Marc swallows, steels his jaw.

Vale has always had a way of observing. Leveraging that beam of attention. He doesn’t miss a thing, never has, and he looks good— tired, but relaxed, thin frame bundled up in a hoodie, hat pulled low over his forehead. Incognito mode, Marc remembers him joking sometime in 2013, after they had snuck out of the paddock to grab a drink at a bar post media day. But you always dress like that, Marc had said, probably too confidently, and Vale had laughed, had leant in and said Well, if I want them to recognize me, I just wear the Yamaha shirt.

Marc blinks. Vale’s eyebrows are raised, expectantly. He’s been quiet too long.

“Why?” He asks pleasantly. No use pretending.

“How have you been?” Vale asks, evenly, continuing as if Marc didn’t talk. “It has been a few months, yes? Since we’ve seen each other? The gala?” He looks away, shrugging. “I wondered about your arm– it seems better.”

“You could have texted.” Marc says, furrowing his brow. He's being overly serious, he knows, but he’s curious. He didn’t expect Vale to text, knew he wouldn’t actually. It still, despite it all, prickled at him. Whenever he was injured, before, Vale would always ask. He hadn't, anytime in the last four years, despite the severity of the injury.

So why is he asking now.

Vale huffs a laugh, swipes a thumb over his phone case, waves it lazily. “My number, it ah, leaked.” He makes a face. “I had to get a new phone a while ago. I don't think your contact made it over.”

It’s better than him deleting it. Better than Marc expected, to be honest.

It could also be a lie.

“Oh. Well.” Marc, says, unsure how to continue. He smiles at Vale anyways, lifts his good shoulder, combing through his brain for what he actually wants Vale to know about his arm. Not lying, just slightly to the left of the truth. He doesn't want anything getting back to Pecco, but Vale can sense insincerity from a mile off.

“I can't complain. The last surgery, it helped.”

Vale’s eyebrows jump, making a little grimace. “I heard, it did not look very pleasant.”

The documentary, Marc thinks, Did he watch the fucking documentary?

“—Now it’s just the bike? Managing the new braking style?” Vale asks. Marc cannot fucking remember the last time Vale asked him two questions in a row.

“Ah, you know. Trade secret.” Vale’s team is also vying for the GP25 — best to keep as much as he can close to his chest.

Vale raises an eyebrow and Marc folds like a cheap stack of cards.

He sighs. nods. Who cares. Vale’s watched him ride for years, he knows Marc still has a little bit to improve on the year old Ducati. He’s seen the data.

“Now it’s just the getting the bike, nailing the setup.” He goes for the PR version of the truth. Nevermind that his arm is still in PT three times a week. The Ducati is good— Marc is having more fun. Fighting at the front. Adjusting easier than he thought he would.

But it’s not a Honda. He needs a bit more time, and he needs– he needs the factory spec. And it looks like Jorge Martin might be the one to get it.

Vale nods, neutral, like the conversation’s ending, like he’s being gracious with Marc’s answer, letting him keep his emotions close— and a sharp, unexplainable feeling digs into Marc’s chest, that same way it did when he was watching him from the seat over in whatever press conference, those first few years. He wants to keep Vale talking. Wants him to keep looking at Marc, wants to— Marc doesn’t quite know, exactly, but it feels a lot like he does on track, when he just can’t quite keep himself from reaching for the win.

He speaks. Vale’s gaze snaps back to him, head following after, a little lazier.

“You? How's endurance racing? Missing anything about MotoGP?”

He says like he doesn’t know. Like he doesn't keep tabs. Like people don’t ask him about Vale’s results.

Anyways, it's hard to be involved in MotoGP and not hear about Vale, even when he’s been retired going into three years now. People talk, always eager for Marc’s opinion on his great rival.

There’s a quirk at the corner of Vale’s mouth. Like he’s won something. Marc curls a fist tight, ignoring the feeling that he’s given information away.

“Some things.” Vale replies, an odd glimmer to him. His brow furrows, then: “I miss how it was around ten years ago, more.”

Marc blinks.

“— Getting old, I mean. It was not so fun, there at the end. I could see everything I wanted to do, every move I would've made on track, ” He sits down across from Marc, leans back in his seat, long torso bending with his lazy posture, the mood shifts and he laughs. “But I was too old! It was harder.”

Of course that’s what he meant. Marc doesn’t— he doesn’t miss Marc. doesn’t think about him much at all, probably. Wasn’t saying he missed how it was between them, ten years ago, when they were friends. Marc knows that.

“I'm getting up there, now.” Marc jokes, “Acosta, he is on the horizon.” He’s not sure it lands, but Vale huffs a laugh anyways, rubs at his eyebrow.

“You?” Vale asks, incredulous. That x-ray quality is back in his vision. He always— He used to always get Marc that way, when he would dial in and make Marc think the words he was saying mattered to him. 

Vale shakes his head, shimmies a shoulder, wags a finger. “No no no no, don’t try that– you are still young, you cant talk to me about old.”

Marc grins. He doesn’t feel it so much, now, the years between them, but it’s a nice reminder of how good it felt, being the up and comer on the scene. The next Valentino Rossi. That was fun.

But he’s older now, has been in the paddock longer than almost anyone, just like Vale had– and he can feel it, dragging at his arm. can see it, in the lines under his eyes, the unfamiliarity of the faces around him.

He wonders how Vale did it for so long. That slow decline— new people popping up every day, ones who learned from him, perfected ideas he pioneered, then using them against him. 

He remembers how he felt on the podium yesterday, and decides not to ask. He leans back.

“Ehhhh, you are not really that much older than me.”

Vale’s expression doesn’t change, still set at his default neutrally animated, but something charges in the air, and Marc gets the sense he wants to say something, toying with the edge of the cliff.

Marc searches for something that won’t rock the boat. He settles on a compliment.

“Pecco was good this weekend— He beat me. You trained him well.”

Vale’s shoulders slide down, relaxing minutely. The charge slips away. Success.

“Ah, he’s a lot better than he was when you showed up at the ranch ten years ago, yes.” 

Marc leans forwards, “Hey!” So much for avoiding fraught topics.

Vale tilts his chin, considering. “What did you say about him? I don’t think it was flattering–”

“—That was ten years ago! I’m wrong ONCE.”

“Once is enough!”

“Apparently.” Marc hits back. 

And it’s good— they’re laughing, Marc thinks, he’s laughing— but that last bit, the apparently, hangs there, snagging in Marc’s mind.

Once is enough. Apparently.

Vale’s smile dies slowly, once it’s clear Marc isn’t about to continue, and it’s odd. Not fraught, for once— though Marc hasn't been the best at recognizing when it was in the past, but he’s pretty sure here. The moment dangles for a second, as they sit across from each other in an airport looking at each other. Vale’s face is doing that thing it was earlier, where he seems to be on the verge of some moment, and his mouth opens. For some reason, Marc flushes hot on the back of his neck. His skin feels tight, and their eye contact holds.

“All good?” It’s Alex, coming back with his Smartwater.

Vale sits up straighter, immediately, posture snapping into place. He nods at Alex, who ignores him, and slides back into his seat. He shrugs at Marc, a little in-joke. What did I do? it asks, fully knowing the answer. Alex has never been as shy as Marc is about his feelings concerning Valentino Rossi. 

And it's that above anything that makes Marc feel like he’s dunked his head in ice water, reality crashing in. The moment snaps as Vale tucks back into himself, leaving Marc off his balance. He feels dizzy and a little off kilter, like he’s done something wrong, like he’s gotten away with something, something illicit, which is ridiculous — he’s just been sitting here.

Nothing’s even happened. They've been two meters away from each other the entire time.

They haven’t even touched.

Vale’s eyes are boring into him, blue and clear. Alert. And Marc catches a flash of— concern, maybe, his brow is creasing— and it tugs at Marc, makes him want to glance back and make him feel easy, lift the corner of his mouth, shrug his shoulders and dismiss Alex’s chilliness. Makes him hot and nervy, out of his skin with the need to do something he doesn’t have a name for.

He smiles.

Maybe he is doing something wrong.

Vale smiles back, and it’s brilliant.

The flight attendant comes over the PA. They’re boarding.

#toting with a marc who does not in fact realize he wants to fuck that old man but is obsessed with him nonetheless. #dw still working on prompts this was just. done lol #motogp #callie speaks #rosquez #my fic

[resi4skz]

The Lucky Winner

Pairing: idol!Chan x fem!reader

Warnings: a little fluff but that's about it

I may write this in two parts? Or just leave it as it is? Idk yet.

It had been just over a year that you had become a STAY. And you had loved every new things about Stray Kids. To their smiles, their handsome looks, learning their names and who was the oldest to the youngest, and watching all their music videos. You tried to catch up from their pre-debut but there was so much content to watch that you had to put a pause on the watching and mainly focused on the new.

You also changed your twitter into a fan account, sharing, reposting and posting about how hot or cute the members were. You found their music healing, in a way because a year ago, you weren't in the right state of mind. You were mentally exhausted by life giving you shit, so much that you were actually thinking about ending it all. Even your life.

Last year in April, you were crying one sunday early morning and decided to browse youtube because that's what you did when nothing else worked. You were going down the live broadcast list when someone caught your eye. 'Chan's room ep. 208.' A young man sitting on a chair with a black couch in the back, looking very handsome as he talked to, what seemed like were his fans. You immediately picked on the language he was speaking because of the amount of korean dramas you had watched.

You snuggled back into your blanket, his eords of encouragement soothed your heart as you watched him through your laptop screen. Your eyes lit up as you heard him talk in english. And was that an Australian accent? You watched him talk about the next comeback him and his group will have, sometime in June. You were curious to find more about the group and luckily one of the comments displayed 'Stray Kids.'

You picked up your phone and searched for the name. Immediately, a group of 8 men popped up as one by one you searched each of their names to know who was who. And for some reason you went from youngest to oldest without realizing. So when you typed Bang Chan in the search bar, the same man popped up from the youtube livestream. "It's him," you said, flicking your eyes on the laptop screen just as he smiled and laughed. Your heart skipped a beat and it has never done that.

And then you watch as he stands up, saying 'big hug' hugging the screen. It tugged at your heart as he sits back down. "Bye stays, baby stays, see you next time!" He holds up a peace sign by his eye, does a winky face and clicks his tongue before the livestreams ends.

Fresh tears flow down your cheeks as a sob escapes your lips. That hug felt warm to you and yet distant which the thought of it now had you bawling your eyes out. You search up Stray Kids on youtube and start watching a bunch of videos.

An hour later, you were clutching your stomach from laughing so hard. How did you ever go about your day without knowing these boys? You even watched their music videos which blew your mind at each one. You went on your twitter and searched up the bame and a bunch of posts about their upcoming comeback and where to buy the albums.

Your eyelids fell heavy and soon darkness enveloped your mind. This time no nightmares occurred, except a certain black haired man with dimples.

----------------------------------------------------------

There had been a rumour going around that for their second comeback for 2023, they were going to be doing a contest for a lucky STAY (while others did fancalls). The only requirements was how many alvums or merch or how much your spent money on Stray Kids. But you had done neither which put you in a tough spot.

You had very badly wanted to participate but you were a 23 yr old trying to save up for a solo trip to South Korea. Maybe even scout areas for a permanent move. So far you had saved up about $2500 as was planning to save up more. As for the contest, you had put your phone number down in the category of being picked randomly in case you got a call.

You were on your lunch break at work when your phone rang. Putting your sandwich down, you glance at the screen as it showed up a number you didn't recognize. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Y/N?" A female voice asked.

"Yes, who's this?"

"This is Yu Won from JYPE."

You blinked. "Sorry?"

"You put your phone number to get licked randomly for a fancall and for the contest?"

"Oh my g...yeah, did I get picked?!" Excitement filled your veins.

"Yes. We would like to invite you for a fancall with one of the Stray Kids members and at the end of the call, you will be asked which option you prefer to do."

"Okay! Thank you!" You smile.

She gave you instructions over the phone plus sent you an email too. The fancall would happen after the comeback in november. It was end of October so maybe you didn't have to wait long.

-----------------------------------------------------------

You sat waiting patiently in front of your pgone, hair in loose waves and light makeup. Your dog whined at your feet. "Nora, not right now, okay? I'll take you out later." Your dog, a golden retriever, laid down beside your feet. You rollded your eyes. "Okay, drama queen. Come on," you tapped your lap and she excitedly jumped in lap.

You look up and see Chan beaming, a smile on his lips. Your eye widen. "Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't realize-"

"It's quite alright. I just came on and you were talking to your dog, I didn't want to disturb."

"Sorry, she gets anxious if I'm doing something that doesn't involve her," you nervously explain. You notice his hair was turning into a copper color.

He laughs. "It's quite alright. My dog is the same."

"I've seen Berry from your vlogs and she seems such a nice and obedient dog. Very cute."

"That she is."

"Just like her dad," you giggle.

He covers his mouth, giggling also. "Thank you for the compliment."

"Congrats on the comeback! I love all of your songs!"

"Thanks! Which was your favorite?" He asked, genuinely curious to know.

"Hmmm, if I had to pick, I nwould say all of them but if I had to choose, it would have to be Cover Me."

"Why that song?"

"The melody is quite soothing. Plus the vocals are top tier," you replied.

"Yeah? I think my vocals could use more work."

You gape at him. "Are you kidding? Your vocals are very exciting to hear! Those high notes aren't easy to do."

He chuckles. "Alright. I'll take your word for it, Y/N.'

Y/N. He said your name. It was like hearing it for the first time. Your heart tugged again and you mentally scolded your brain to shut up. "Ever been to Korea?"

"No. But I'm planning to save up for a solo trip!"

"Solo? Oof. That's going to be difficult especially if you don't know the language."

You smirk. "Dangsin-eun naega ihaehaji moshandago saeng-gaghanayo? (You thibk I don't understand?)."

"Oh, wow. Neohante yeogijeogi boyeojugo sip-eo (I would love to show you around)."

"That would be lovely but it's not happening anytime soon."

He nods and you suddenly feel bad. "Maybe next year I'll see."

You say your goodbyes and end the call and go into your email. You pick the "buy a plushie" option and choose wolf-chan. Smiling widely, heart content to the max you finally smile to yourself. Maybe life wasn't bad after all

Your phone pings so without looking for you unlock and you scream briefly upon seeing the screen.

XX-XXXX-XXXXXX: hey this is bang chan. I stole your number from my manager

Y/N: did you just commit a crime?

You save his number as Chris.

BC: i would never

Y/N: uh huh...

BC: hey give me a break here :(

Y/N: are you....being cute?

BC: is it working?

Okay. Who is this guy?

Y/N: .... are you the same bang chan I know from my laptop screen?

BC: wait you watch us? 😱

Y/N: yeah, i do. 🤨

BC: i meant it you know

Y/N: what

BC: showing you around seoul

"Is he being funny or actually asking me out? Is that even allowed for him?" You wonder before typing an answer.

Y/N: right now, i'm saving up for the trip

BC: well you have my number so just holla at me when you're here

What the absolute fuck?

Tags: @3rachasdomesticbanana @kayleefriedchicken

If you wanna be tagged, comment below!

#bang chan #christopher bang #stray kids bang chan #chris bang #stray kids #what do i do with this #skz fanfiction #skz #fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #bang chan fanfic #skz fanfic

[codenamesazanka]

Deku’s not rejecting the 'great hero' label from All Might, and by Chapter 425, still doesn't seem more broken up about being unable to save Shigaraki. Which I think means he wasn't actually all that serious about his save. 

If he had really, truly wanted to save this Crying Child, and really, stubbornly thought he could and would, Shigaraki/Tenko’s death is a huge failure. A black mark on his values and aspirations. Failing to save a little child is just unacceptable. There’s no excuse for it, no comforting words in the aftermath, nothing. If Eri had gotten blown up during the Overhaul fight, I guarantee you Deku would be hysterical. Inconsolable. That sad abused 6-year-old he wanted to save just died. 

That Deku isn't any of that right now - or when he was conversing with Shigaraki in Shigaraki last’s moments, or when Shigaraki’s body was falling apart - means he knew Shigaraki wasn't 1-to-1 the Crying Child, he knew he wasn't actually dealing with a 5-year-old. He knew he can't actually save that 5-year-old, can't actually bring him into reality to cradle in his arms like Eri. It’s pretty obvious.

-> Deku did not believe Shigaraki was actually The Crying Child. To him, Shigaraki was an adult villain (whose life he values less than an actual innocent child - which is fair. That’s the standard belief.)

So… why repeat that mantra of 'Save The Crying Child'? Why focus so wholly on that psychic vision to the exclusion of anything else? This is already pretty gross - he’s ignoring the adult man in front of him for a psychic vision ghost child.

Then, it must be: Deku has to have known in some way that the Crying Child was only an inner representation of some trauma Shigaraki was carrying.

He'll be dealing with some mental wound inside of Shigaraki; he'll be working out Shigaraki's trauma and what exactly made him such an angry villain. Maybe healing that trauma might just cause Shigaraki to stop his rampage. 

And yet, despite knowing this was how things are, Deku never engages with Shigaraki in any way that opens up this avenue of investigation. He doesn't research anything about Shigaraki’s mental state or background or just his overall character, despite having hundreds of Shigaraki’s captured army sitting in jail cells, despite having core League member Mr. Compress right there, who evidently cared enough about his leader to mutilate himself to show Shigaraki to escape. 

Deku doesn't talk to Shigaraki, never asking questions, never calling for parley, never even just trying. If he shouted random things to Shigaraki - Do you like dogs? Isn't Danger Sense wild? If you sink Japan, that means you'll have to swim, so are you a good swimmer? - and Shigaraki ignored them, that'd be one thing. The most Deku does is to still yell about 'not ignoring the inner crying child’, but that's a statement of his (patronizing) intent. Not actually anything that invites Shigaraki to reciprocate, to create the start of a back-and-forth connection.

One might argue: Shigaraki could have responded to the ‘Crying Child’ comment so that Deku has something to work with… and Shigaraki actually does. In Chapter 412, Shigaraki says Deku is trying to fit him into his narrow worldview, when that crying child has turned into Shigaraki Tomura… But that’s not an answer that Deku accepts. He dismisses it entirely, to focus again on The Crying Child he saw. Deku doesn’t work with Shigaraki’s answer at all; it’s true the vestiges start talking to him, but Deku said himself ‘I have to ask why [Shigaraki] can’t let go of that lonely past of his’... then does not ask.

But before that, it’s not on Shigaraki to make the connection here, because he has no reason or intention to - it's entirely on Deku because Deku made it his motivation. And so it's also on Deku for refusing to latch onto any of the things Shigaraki does say: everything he’s witnessed in this world, the only thing that will save him is destruction, flattening Mt. Fuji for Spinner.

Deku supposedly wants to understand - wants connection - but it seems only on his terms, on the topic he dictates, with answers he likes. That's the farthest thing from establishing a rapport enough to even approach any inner trauma. Forget healing anything. How can he heal Shigaraki’s heart if he has no interest in what exactly lies inside of it? No, the Crying Child doesn't count. Like I said, that's the topic he dictates. 

-> Deku understood that the Crying Child was symbolic of pain that Shigaraki covered with a lid, yet when Shigaraki deigned not to share details, didn’t care much to find a way to uncover that lid beyond punching the crap out of Shigaraki.

This means… what, exactly?

There are many possible answers. None of them are good. He doesn’t actually respect Shigaraki very much, or at all. He’s only interested in Shigaraki affirming something for him. He thinks Shigaraki is despicable, but is at least nice enough to want to stop his pain - though not nice enough to do it non-violently. It’s less about Shigaraki and more about his own ego. He wanted to save Shigaraki, but also wanted him punished, so his save was brutal. 

But all that really boils down to this: Deku did not see Shigaraki as a full person, and did not treat him as such.

The Crying Child was a curiosity. He wanted to save The Crying Child to fulfill his own satisfaction. The manga backs it up:

Shigaraki, speaking through memory-visage: Say you learn more. What then? Say you expose his past to the light. Will that change a damn thing?  Deku: I don’t know! But letting this end without finding out wouldn’t sit right with me!

"letting this end without finding out wouldn’t sit right with me"

Deku doesn’t know. He doesn’t have a plan for what happens after receiving that information - no use, no application, no intentions. There’s no logic to his action here - it simply doesn’t ‘sit right’ with him. This is about his feelings. This is about fulfilling his own instinct to save. If he manages to make Shigaraki feel better, that’s good, but that’s a bonus.

Deku, during the battle, doesn’t even know if he can make Shigaraki feel better. He has no notebook full of ideas to make sure that saving Shigaraki’s heart will be the guaranteed outcome. He simply wants to try, because he wants to save, because it’s about his desire to be a Hero. The coolest thing someone can do. 

#nalslastworkingbraincell #however much you want to blame this on Horikoshi's writing is also up to you #SORRY for the broken record #i'll stop at this post

[bimesskaira]

Controversial opinion Allert guys. It's my opinion so you can debate with me or give constructive criticism but do not come at me with hate comments.

So yesterday some ishan and ishman fans asked that what does sara do except for travelling and pr and her fans took it badly. I say defend her on her own merit with the things she has done till now but no they dragged ishan and ishman into it and trolled him. Best part is the ishan and ishman fans are not even wrong like if she has a masters then make your own career na what else does she do except for traveling and pr and she is the face of a makeup brand and she has a masters in nutrition like how do they correlate therefore it means that she got it purely out of connection. If ishan is dragged we defend him by the things he has done his stats, his 200, his consecutive 50's etc and if ishman is dragged then we have proofs never do we troll other people to defend him like have you ever seen us troll sanju Samson or rishabh pant to defend ishan ? but sara and shubsara fans have basically nothing and they turn to trolling other people to defend their idol. Her fans my God the amount of toxicity they have is insane, most of the ishman and ishan fans don't even bother with her or whatever she does but whenever she uses her "Secret relationship" to gain fame especially in a society which is homophobic and doesn't let us support people freely it does anger us but still we give her no hate yes we make some jokes but don't they do the same with ishan ? If we have opinions which go against her we express them in private chats and nowhere in the public domain and also specifically mention no hate to her. I don't care what the fuck you do but leave ishan and ishman alone and this jugnu too is irritating but I already spoke about him in a previous post. Atleast ishan is working hard to make his career and he has 100% accurate drs calls in the season after being mentally tired and having no time to recover and play again and in that tension filled and disunited mi team. Fuck you toxic Sara fans and toxic shubsara fans and any toxic fans I don't care what you do just don't drag other peoples idols and troll them and their fans. Be happy in your Fandom and let other people be happy don't ruin the experience of being a fan for anyone. Savere savere mood kharab kardiya mera.

#lgbtq #ishan kishan #desiblr #indian cricket team #ishman #shubish #shubman x ishan #shubman gill #sara tendulkar #toxic fans #toxic fandom

[skunkes]

i may be stupid

#(but im not sure) #a doodley #i am not going to lie to you guys i am insanely scared of anti depressants. and adjacent medication. #first of all like ive said i dont think i need them #im doing way better than last yr(s) despite being in the same circumstances. i did in fact will my brain to get it together. #i told my doctor i think my issues are a result of my environment and that is what i think it is. #i dont think meds cld help change my innate personality flaws #second of all sorry but my ****** is all i have i cant risk losing it to the side effects #idk! like. idk. you guys really dont get it it really is just laziness for me #since i was a kid i just didnt have Goals and its continued to my detriment #i was also raised to doubt all my decisions so here we are #im sure my friends think im lazy bc what ive described to them IS laziness #im like the only person i know without hashtag goals and life motivation...and all my friends have mental health stuff too #so its not that...! its personality. its laziness #its literally like the ''my son is 35 and refuses to get a job and does nothing all day'' reddit posts #with ''he's not depressed he's lazy you should just kick him out and refuse to keep providing for him'' comments and all

[working-dreamer]

It’s wild how shipping culture has changed so drastically over time on the internet.

In the old days people shipped characters who either had only one line of dialogue with each other, never even met, or not even from the same piece of media. It was the wild west and sure some ships were uncomfortable but people had the mindset to just block the tag and stay away from ships they didn’t enjoy.

Nowadays? It’s more like people have to clarify that their ship isn’t canon compliant, character adjacent, and story irrelevant otherwise they get a flood of comments saying “but this character isn’t like this in canon” and some people legitimately get angry if you’re not following the canon.

Like- shipping and fandom culture from what I understand it is about engaging with media in a way that caters to you. And if you don’t like a ship or show just… block the relevant tags and don’t engage in the ships? The internet isn’t supposed to cater to us- we have to cater ourselves to our internet environment. And no matter how many times people may harass others over a fandom or ship they don’t like, those ships are not gonna disappear.

The internet has just been getting worse when people have decided to place morality in their opinions by saying things like “if you enjoy the ship then you support (insert horrible thing here that’s usually completely unrelated to the ship itself)” when it used to be “eh, not my thing” and people just moved on.

And for the record this isn’t about a specific ship or anything- just an observation of how fandom has evolved (and regressed) over the years and I find it fascinating from a sociological perspective cause we still don’t know how having the internet from birth affects the development of kids and how that affects how they interact with others- isn’t that scary?

I know that’s slightly unrelated but the way people engage in media has been changing over they years and that also involves fandom and the maturity level thereof in the internet space and someone smarter than me could probably write a whole thesis paper about fandom culture and how the internet has hindered the social development of people and how that affects community specifically from a fandom lens.

Just- for your sanity younger internet children: it’s not worth harassing others over something as trivial as ‘it’s not canon that this character kisses another character.’ Just find ships you like. Block ships you don’t. And just enjoy your time doing what you like!

You can’t control the internet but you can nurture your little corner of it.

#shipping #canon ship #non canon ships #reader x character #self ship #I get so tired of seeing shipping posts and the comments or reply tweets are nothing but ‘but this isn’t canon tho!!!’ #sonny when I was your age we shipped characters who never even met in canon! #even with ships I don’t like- I get exhausted seeing people get bombarded by fourteen year olds who haven’t developed critical thinking yet #every day I agree more that people under 18 shouldn’t have access to the internet #this can also apply to people who act like ‘if you dont reblog or boost this post (insert social issue here) then you’re a bad person!!’ #like… no #you don’t have to apply moriality to a stinkin’ reblog button! #sure informing people is important but you don’t have to take the responsibility of the world’s issues #we’re all doing the best we can and you don’t have to prove your morality to be a good person #it’s okay to not engage with those kinds of posts if it makes you uncomfortable- that doesn’t affect your morality in any way #For example: ​I’m never gonna reblog gory posts showing battle zones #does that mean I support war? absolutely not! #I’m just protecting my mental health! and you need to as well #the internet is yours to make it how you want and if you want it to be an escape from the horrors of the world that’s okay #protect your happiness fam

[brookriver-mudlark]

Shot-by-shot commentary of one scene from Transformers: The Last Knight

A few months ago, I remembered this movie was a thing, and looked up a clip to see if I'd be able to sit though it just for Optimus.

The short answer is no.

The long answer is that this single scene has driven me insane.

Bear in mind, i have very little context for this scene, so i will primarily be riffing on it from a cinematography angle. Buckle up!

Let's start with this...beautiful? aerial shot of gray metal guys running on a gray metal slope, their considerable scale reduced to that of ants on a plate by the speedy camera.

These two climb out of the structure. Their spatial relation to the rest of the scene is never established.

Aaand now the metal guys are running down from the other side of the screen. Did the camera keep spinning between shots?? Anyways, they start pummeling Optimus.

Cut to Optimus being pummeled from the front. With a bit of planning, this could have been continuous with the previous shot, but...oh boy. Oh boy. Let's not start with that just yet.

Don't forget, girl is here! (This is the last time she shows up in this scene.)

Oh right, Cade was in the corner of the last shot. He gets up, starts running in the opposite screen direction of where Optimus was in relation to him earlier,

...and immediately slips and falls in the next shot. You get to enjoy the moment in lovely slow-motion.

Optimus then explains what is currently happening in the scene for the benefit of anyone staring slack-jawed at the screen by this point.

Then the knights go back to beating Optimus up. One guy takes an axe to his back edged side down, and it doesn't do jack except knock him flat.

Also, Cade is here.

This guy finally comes to deal the killing blow.

What follows is a series of barely connected slo-mo jump cuts of the device on Cade's arm unfolding,

followed by a fast series of time-breaking cuts to show a single sword strike,

oh my god they keep cutting

wait WHO IS THIS, WHERE WAS HE ...oh my god, i scrubbed backwards, he's supposed to have been near Cade the whole time, what

Then there's a dramatic spinning shot, which would have been a cool moment to show the walking props knights holding their swords up in abrupt reverence, but instead we mostly just watch Cade look around in confusion while Optimus grovels.

We interrupt the spinning to inform you that this scene was filmed during golden hour.

Back to spinning. I guess you don't have to worry about the 180 degree rule if your scene spans the full 360, huh?

Cade looks over at Optimus, and Optimus looks back. ...Followed IMMEDIATELY by a fast pan of planes flying behind some knights; my eyes

Optimus keeps talking. His speech is about as continuous as the shots.

We finally get a quiet moment to hold on that last shot for a while, and listen to Cade give a pep talk to a war general who's seen countless human lifetimes' worth of pain and loss.

And that's all that Optimus needed to pick himself up.

We get a triumphant shot of Optimus straightening up, rallying his brothers in arms to rise up against Quintessa...

And for one moment, perhaps your brain can feel a glimmer of joy within the soup of semi-consciousness it's now sinking into.

...

If I watch the whole movie, I will die.

That's all, folks!

#fun fact: dark of the moon was how i got into the series #in that i thought it was godawful within the first few minutes except i did like optimus's voice #and then i ended up on tfwiki and my life ended #bayverse #bayformers #transformers #transformers the last knight #transformers: the last knight #my art #film study #bad film study #cinematography #BAD cinematography #shot breakdown #mental breakdown #wake me up inside #save me from the nothing i've become #michael bay #movies #bonus comment from my non-transformers car fan friend: “when optimus farts does it come up to his head?” #brookriver art

[badboysupr]

to all the ppl out there who insist Leo is supposed to be “ugly” and “unattractive,” I raise you this:

( •_•) . . . so how we feelin?

no, but really: the point is that he compares himself to others all the dam time and when you're in the company of friggin jason g/race and the per/cy jac/kson, then ???

ᕕ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )ᕗ are we connecting the dots

he's scrawny he's not “conventionally attractive” he's not, like, the guy you're gonna see running for prom king

he personally does not think he's good-looking, and to plenty of people ??? sure, he isn't. but it's all preference and opinionated, anyway

point is: whether or not he's “attractive” is neither here nor there; it really doesn't matter, but boy howdy idk where people get this idea he's “supposed to be ugly”

#(headcanon) #the amount of times i see ppl in the fandom just making comments on art or something like #“leo's not supposed to be attractive” and i'm ??? yo #first of all: why does it matter #second of all: that is not even entirely true ?? #WHATEVER it's just silly to me #the important point is that HE DOES NOT /SEE HIMSELF/ as attractive in any way #and i mean ANY WAY #physically and mentally; he finds nothing appealing #but that does not mean he isn't appealing in those qualities to OUTSIDE eyes #dabs and disappears back into the ether

[infizero]

blah blah blah YES norman was going to allow ruby to partake in contests. doesnt change the fact he beat him up lol!

#i think that rlly does show his character more than anything. like his reasoning for finally allowing him to do it is literally #''i still dont approve and still want him to pursue battling but hes turning 11 so he can make his own decisions in life. i didnt #like him doing it before because he was a child'' <- norman very much has the ''children must do exactly as their parents say'' mentality #which is not rlly great. esp since it is implied that he became abusive when ruby would NOT do as he said #and even besides that. the fact that once ruby runs away norman becomes so unbelievably violent with him is literally all that matters #in a discussion of whether norman is a good dad or not. it literally does not matter that he changed his mind and was going #to allow ruby to do contests WHEN HE STILL BEAT HIM UP FOR RUNNING AWAY!!!!!!!! NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! #he physically abused ruby in a very violent manner (and again its implied this isnt new behavior for him. norman is also just shown #to be a very violent person in general. destroying things when hes angry shoving random people etc etc) #he couldve fucking cured cancer he couldve wholeheartedly supported ruby's contest career for all i care #anything good he does is overshadowed by his abuse of ruby. i dont think norman is an entirely 100% EVIL person #i dont even think that he doesnt care about ruby. but he is a terrible abusive father regardless and nothing can change that #norman does have nuances. and he is still terrible and in my eyes irredeemable. those things can coexist #(i cant remember exactly where things end up esp once he dies. so i'll reserve any comments about how the NARRATIVE views #norman until after ive finished R&S in its entirety) #but yeah. him planning on giving ruby permission to do contests literallyyyyy does not change anything #serena.txt #pksp reread #ruby & sapphire reread

[sad--tree]

kinda assumed ppl were overstating the drums or w/e being Like That on st anger but. oh my god no they. they really are very very much Like That

#idk Music WordsTM but this does not sound. right. help. its so intrusive. #i dont even think the songs are bad! is this what ppl mean when they talk about bad production on an album??? #watching some kind of monster did not prepare me for how these songs actually sound..... #i thought the snippets u hear in the doc sounded fine..... #whats up yall month number two (2) of my mental metallica lockdown :( finally branching in2 some other albums.... #incidentally i enjoyed 72 seasons actually #like. theres nothing really uhh groundbreaking? in it but it was enjoyable! i like it! esp you must burn! and inamorata #my friend said he thought it sounded 'overproduced' and tbh i have ZERO idea what that means when ppl use that as a descriptor for any music #like ive heard plenty of stuff id maybe call UNDERproduced but over?? some1 explain #same friend said he thought james hetfield 'hasnt aged well' and good god if he saw the old men i wanna fuck..... #this friend is Older tho so i dont like. make those kinda comments with him lol it would maybe. be Weird. #anyways i should look up live versions of the st anger songs i wonder if they sound different/better ?

[timewontwait]

honestly at this rate, i’m considering going back to fic writing/drawing fan works full swing

#🌀 — later guys! i’m outta here. ❪ ooc. ❫ #vent // #don't get me wrong i still love rping. i'm still gonna do it #it still makes me super happy whenever i see new interactions pop up in my inboxes - even if i never end up getting to them #but hoogh.. i'll be honest besties - this past year has been challenging #idk how to describe it really without sounding like a loser dkasdafjdl but the tldr is mental illness and #writing in a space where feedback isn't always guaranteed doesn't mix well for me #which is why i'm kinda debating fanfic again because i STILL get comments and kudos from a fic i worked on back in 2016 #even though its full of flaws and cringe moments i still am so touched that there are ppl out there that still enjoy it in its full #teenaged toby angst glory kgjsdkj #what does that mean for my blogs and activity if i do wind up getting back into that kinda thing? dunno yet. #but i'll still BE here #and i will still probably respond to stuff (just slowly.. i am not fast like sonic T hedgehog) #jussst yeah. thinking it'll be good for me to pursue other hobbies and passions too #oh yeah i feel like i need to clarify - this has nothing to do with anything recent #it's been a gradual feeling

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

There are very few things more pathetic than an unmarried man coming for a married man's wife. How much of a sad, miserable creature do you have to be to do that?

#txt #you are a grown ass man and you are commenting on how another man's woman #“she ain't as bad as she was” bro shut up!!! you ain't the one all up in there #this is what not being married does to somebody #married men should never ever listen to single bitter men. they want you to suffer as much they do #**looks #ofc dudes like these are almost always on twitter. twitter is the haven of dipshits #childish ass behavior and mentality. grow up #and the husbands who listen to them probably only liked their wives because of their looks and nothing more #some married men are selfish like that. avoid dudes like that ladies

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

"Man, Desire Demons are so full of shit. Ambition? I'm just fucking trying to make it to Friday." --Gen Hawke, probably.

#this comment just felt. incredibly funny with how i imagine Gen. #she has lived in Hightown for nearly 3 years and she has processed none of that #she has no long-term goals she is living like she is gonna be dead in a ditch tomorrow she is expecting nothing #there's that convo with Fenris where he asks what you do when you finally stop running #and I think Gen's answer would be an honest 'i don't know' because mentally she is still running #she does not have 'ambition' beyond stowing money away beneath her mattress so Leandra will be taken care of #when inevitably Gen gets murdered and dragged off to the Circle. she has low expectations for her future #when Varric asks what her plans are she's like. uh. plans. take care of my mother. obviously. i don't have thoughts beyond that. #why would you ask me this Varric. why would you make me ponder my future. why did you do this to me #roddy plays da2 2023 #at some point when i wasn't looking Gen became my favorite of my two Hawkes #I don't have brainrot about her right now but there is definitely. an itch. disaster of a woman. love her.

[stvharrngton]

.

#the more i think about it the more i realise i need a full on break from social media #bc it just does. nothing for my mental health #like i will read into every little post and and every ghosted comment or text and like #i can just feel myself being miserable and annoying #but if i don’t look at my silly little pictures or read about my silly favourite character i will simply die #k.txt

[thenerdcommander]

My family is so fucking exhausting I'm so fucking sick of it

#mom was complaining about noise at night so I made a joke about her sucking it up and sleeping in her bedroom with dad (he snores) #and just collect on life insurance #they all pretended I made a threat/serious suggestion despite THEM making ACTUALLY suspicious jokes all the time (about murdering people/ #using racial slurs/doling out general hate speech and laughing at it as though it's funny) #and they tried to gaslight me into believing they DON'T say worse shit every time they open their mouths #“We've NEVER heard a joke like that!!! That's messed up!!!” lies. You “joke” about killing/enslaving black and trans people all the time #and you make no effort to make it come off as a joke (because it's not and you mean it) but when *I* make an OBVIOUSLY NOT SERIOUS #comment it's suddenly horrible and I belong in a psych ward??? just because the delivery wasn't to suit you???? #then they turned around and cried racist because I called them out on their bullshit because apparently pointing out that the things THEY #say and do they're going to eventually do in front of the wrong person and they will get attacked for it (esp using racial slurs #openly and with the mentality that “Only white people get mad at them!!!” like no I'm sorry that's just not the case) is??? Racist??? #POC (black and otherwise) have been telling white people not to use those words for a VERY FUCKING LONG TIME you shitstains #and me saying you're going to get retaliated against has nothing to do with whatever skin color you attributed to that statement. Another #white person would attack you for using those words just as likely as the people you're oppressing. So how about you don't??? Use them??? #but nah that makes me racist apparently #racism according to repubs: telling them not to use racial slurs #they seriously cannot fucking grasp that what I said does no harm but what they say ALL THE TIME causes a LOT for a lot of people #but *I'm* the bad guy??? Ok. #my humor and yours aren't comparable but sure. Keep projecting

[tojipie]

toji x crybaby reader <3

content: hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, smut under the cut !

˚ ✧ ───────────

toji is a flawed man. 

short-tempered, married to his money, slow to show affection. but the one thing he does excel at is comforting you.

he knows you’re a sensitive girl, knows just how easy it is for you to get teary-eyed and red in the face over comments that otherwise seem like nothing to the untrained ear. 

you have a kind heart is all, too giving to a world that only knows how to take. he tells you that every time you break down in his arms, thick hands rubbing circles into the small of your back.

his father would have slapped him across the face for crying. called him soft, whiney like a girl. put him to work for the rest of the day to shape him into a man.

he wasn’t his father though, and you weren’t a zenin.

you were soft in the best way, tender-hearted and too trusting. a daisy among weeds, swaying idly in the too-strong wind. nothing like a zenin, nothing like him. 

he hadn’t the faintest clue what to do the first time he’d seen you get upset, standing there in the kitchen like a fool while you babbled on the phone with his bank.

it was a fraudulent charge, small, maybe only 10 dollars. probably dropped his card while paying for gas again, not the end of the world. the customer service rep assured you that much.

it was the principal, you sobbed. you’d lost his card and hadn’t even noticed. why wasn’t he upset with you?

he doesn’t know why he didn’t just tell you it was okay. that he didn’t have it in him to ever be cross with you, be it a ten-dollar charge or a thousand-dollar charge. 

instead he wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling your body flush with his to press soft kisses to the crown of your head.

you were warm there, warm everywhere really. the thrum of your blood heating your skin from the inside out. toji liked that about you, how you offset the perpetual cold of his much larger hands. 

physical touch was something he knew well. toji wasn’t—still isn’t good with words, opting to stay silent and just hold you while you sniffled into the receiver. he got the message across, he always does.

his methods are unorthodox for that very reason. he doesn’t comfort you with his tone, he does it with his body. whether it be thick arms squeezing you until you get your breathing under control, large hands tracing shapes into your tummy until you stop spluttering, or toned legs splaying wide to let you crawl into his lap, resting on him until your bodies reach the same temperature.

toji fucks you on your good days, likes to tease you, get you squirming. the key difference is that he makes sweet love to you on your bad ones. holding you flush to his chest while he rocks into you under the safety of your shared blankets.

you feel like a furnace under him every time, heat radiating off your body and into the deeper parts of his soul. 

he gets mouthy once the feeling of you wrapped around him flicks that little switch in his brain. turning off the mental barrier between him and his inability to use his words. 

“sweet girl,” is what he calls you, eyes never leaving yours. 

“gotta stay close to me, gotta keep you safe, huh?”

and keep you safe he does, tucking your face into the curve of his neck so you don’t have to look anywhere but him. letting you moan, and pant, and sigh into his skin while he rocks against that special spot situated deep in your core.

he goes harder when you ask him to. not faster, but harder—he knows the difference, letting the resistance in his hips subside so he can sink to the hilt over and over. 

the juxtaposition makes his head spin. how do you manage to sound so sweet while asking for something like that? able to melt his heart even on the brink of orgasm.

you kiss him when he fills you up, letting him sink on top of you with a huff and a shy laugh. he listens as you open up about the good parts of your day, his soft hums of agreement spurring you on.

toji wishes he was taught to articulate himself better. he’s trying, he really is. though the “i love you” he says into your skin seems like his best shot at a start. 

#toji x reader #toji x reader fluff #toji x reader smut #toji x fem reader #toji x fem reader smut #toji x fem reader fluff #fushiguro toji x reader #jjk toji #toji headcanons #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji zenin #toji imagine #toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #zenin toji #jujutsu toji #toji #toji drabbles #toji fluff #toji smut #toji x fem!reader #toji x fem!reader smut #toji x fem!reader fluff