#a lot of very tough and hyper masculine personalities | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

waxingrunes · 2 months

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your art is the most realistic art i have seen this fandom spit out i really wish you would make remus shorter and stop making oc’s

This is why I lose enthusiasm for you cunts.

Sick of defending a fucking drawing, a fictional character. Sick of the same agendas in this online world where Remus has to be this fucking wet mop of a man who has one singular personality trope of being obsessed with Sirius Black and wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Have you met real men? You ever interacted with your average Joe, who is a bit shy, bit awkward, bit of a weirdo but he doesn’t have to come with a pre installed stutter and helpless heart eyes and no other arsenal but a goo goo gaga state of mind for his love interest. You lot are unhealthily obsessed. Daily, fucking, bullshit, daily headcanons, daily this, daily that.

My Remus and Sirius are never going to change. What’s insane is the amount of ‘heteronormative’ claims I see attached to this debacle of height and size. I know a man, who is exceptionally tall, built, has had a boyfriend, and topped him the entire way through the relationship. He did not enjoy bottoming, and yet is a bisexual individual, nothing ‘stereotypical’ homosexual about him or his appearance whatsoever. In fact, he’s very much a Remus variant in my eyes; he is softly natured, introverted, and selective socially and STILL A STONY TOP. Real life, real person, not curated from a thread you found on Twitter and have swallowed up whole.

What happened to coming into a fandom space, making something and going, “that’s hot”. When did it become a space to make sure every representation was ticked, to make sure one character isn’t too this or too that. I’m not here to read the same stories or see the same art 100 times over. I fell in love with these two men and have since had a very solid image of them in my head and create art based off of those ideas. I don’t feel pressured to make sure I give my Remus certain soft traits to justify making him look the way I do. I don’t feel the need to advertise Sirius being this massively charismatic guy just to give him a personality because otherwise you might think he doesn’t have one, because of the slightly more feminine light I draw him in (which is misogynistic you dumb fucks). Just because, I draw my Remus tall and a buffed out lank, does not make him an ultra turbo Alpha. Just because I draw my Sirius smaller, does not mean he is a helpless twink. But here’s the secret nobody’s telling you— even if I did draw them like that, even if those were my holy canons and preferences for these boys, that’s okay. I’m here to create things that make me go, “fuck yeah that’s hot”, “hell yeah I want to see Sirius get pulverised by Remus and no I don’t want to see Remus get pulverised by Sirius and no I don’t feel the need to defend that”, “yeah I prefer tough love over easy love”, “absolutely love it when one of them is a dick to the other and there’s heaps of toxic tension, or maybe they’re both like that and they’re both sarcastic pricks that have to work it out”. I’m never going to adhere to the obsession of character moulds you lot have created.

Sick of this space being turned into a political pansy parade. It’s alright if you want to draw this gay couple with any features you want, hyper masculine, hyper feminine, somewhere in the middle, trans, prefer one of them topping, prefer them to be asexual, prefer them to be toxic and have grit (that’s my trope), or just want easy fluff. And it’s also alright if you’re just in fandom because you’re a bit perverted (like me) and wanted to explore that in a couple you found super fucking hot. Don’t let people use the word fetishise, don’t let people use the word heteronormative, don’t let people bamboozle you with big words and reams of bullet points to incite shame, don’t let people box you in, just keep watching the porn, keep consuming the porn, keep avoiding the shit you want to avoid, and enjoy what you want without shame.

#you’re all clapped #sirius #Remus #ask

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awesamcozy · 8 months

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(please don’t block me)

dream’s narrative would not work if he was an omega. if we’re keeping gaming spaces the same, there’s no way he would’ve made it if he was an omega. it would’ve been near impossible for him to reach 10 mil at all in three years if he was, let alone 30 mil in three. now, this isn’t to say that omegas can’t be successful like that but let’s think logically: he most likely wouldn’t have made it. in a hyper-masculine, tough guy, traditionally bigoted space, alphas are going to be the most successful. it. wouldn’t. have. happened.

branching off of that, if we’re also keeping his background (which he has talked about) the same, think about how differently he would’ve turned out if he was an omega growing up in a conservative, red area house hold vs an alpha growing up in a conservative, red area household. there’s no harm in saying that in a/b/o, alphas and omegas with the same background like that would grow up differently.

personality: dream is hotheaded, can be arrogant, outspoken, and in the past, has been known to double down on things. this is not a criticism of his traits but this is relevant to this conversation. he would be none of those things as an omega, or more likely, he wouldn’t be allowed to be any of those things if he was an omega. he’s changed a lot and has gone through some serious growth but definitely in the beginning of his career, these traits were apparent. this was (for the most part) acceptable because of the patriarchy; he can be masculine and assertive and brash because it’s typical of him. the people who were actively campaigning against this behavior were correct but they weren’t the main gaming audience. because the main gaming audience would have been okay with that. if he was an alpha.

but, dream is also extremely caring, kind-hearted, loving, and very genuine. he would do anything for the people he cares about. and he loves taking care of them. he’s a natural leader. people are drawn to him because he has a safe aura and makes people feel comfortable around him. these are pack-leader traits. alphas can be all of these things and good ones are. he’s not an omega just because he’s nice or he’s soft.

why is it so meaningful that dream has makeup? why do people see it as abnormal for him to do skincare or use bathbombs? why is he made fun of for doing things that are traditionally “feminine” or make him seem “gay” (which is a whole other story)? simple: it’s not expected of a man in a (ready for it?) hyper-masculine gaming space where people are expected to shy away from anything like that. let’s be honest: if he was an omega, it wouldn’t mean shit for him to do any of this. nobody would bat an eye at an omega owning makeup or taking baths or being outwardly affectionate or not being afraid to do things that are stereotypically feminine. but it’s different if an alpha does it, because they’re showing that this stuff isn’t just for omegas. the fact that knowing dream’s past, he’s willing to be himself publicly like this shows a huge amount of growth that most likely wouldn’t have happened if he was an omega. it’s not pushing boundaries if it’s acceptable and expected.

in conclusion: there isn’t anything wrong with dream being an alpha. it doesn’t mean he’s boring, or that people who think this are boring, it just makes more sense. in the same way that the irl face reveal humanized him because it made him seem softer, the a/b/o face reveal would do the same thing. dream is an alpha because he’s a good person and a loyal friend and has an overwhelming urge to care for the people around him, not despite it. it’s revolutionary for an alpha unafraid to be themself in a male-dominated space because it’s challenging the nature of that space from the inside out.

YOU ARE SERIOUSLT FUCKING EVERYTHING TO ME ITS ALL PUT SO SUCCINCTLY BITCH YOU SLAYED!

#nobkdy take this too seriously please god its all lighthearted fun #FAV EVER

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 8 months

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Good grief are people still trying to paint Jimin as overcoming toxic masculinity in this day and age? Why is this discourse always centered around him and not the other members? There are so many videos of the other members saying toxic crap but why do people latch onto him and not others? Just because the concept was to be a tough hiphop group during debut year does not mean Jimin had toxic masculinity. Being muscular and flashing abs is considered toxic masculinity?? Look at the environment he grew up in with supportive parents and his exposure to the arts (more than any other member). Busan is a hyper-masculine place and for his dad to be so supportive for Jimin’s pursuit of an arts school and to switch his focus to contemporary when he was excelling in hip hop says a lot about Jimin’s early years. His willingness to give hugs, birthday presents, compliments to others, and manners point to a very accepting, loving home.

Dumbass armys and even jikookers (tho they're armys, so it's the same) always projected weakness and insecurity onto him as if it was actually serious. Looking back, it was probably because he's always been so transparent and has always worn his heart on his sleeve, meanwhile you had almost every other member going the extra mile to act a different way on camera than they were in real life. But they took Jimin's real life struggles and insecurities and cartoonized him and a lot of his personality traits.

The funny thing is that they exaggerated all of it and turned it into something bad, while they exaggerate others' traits to turn them into something good and awesome when it's literally the bare minimum a human being should be.

Jimin likes drinking, so that means he has an alcohol problem. Taehyung smoking doesn't matter, Jungkook getting shitfaced several nights a week for the whole world to see was hilarious, and he's so cool and such a rebellious guy, so modern, so forward and the change the world needs. Like, you can't make that up.

Jungkook wearing a crop top and Taehyung wearing a wig and Yoongi doing nothing...??? means they're queer icons, gender bending heroes and means they've never known toxic masculinity. But Jimin giving presents to them since early times, wiping their snot when they cried, putting their heads on his shoulder to comfort them, always having a nice word and a hug for them, holding their hands, calling out Jungkook for not complimenting him ever and saying that people become more beautiful when they get compliments, posting photos for their male fans on valentine's days... and for armys it's "let's talk about all the ways Jimin struggled with toxic masculinity!!". Yeah, why not. Let's talk about how he struggled with the toxic masculinity standards that all the other BTS members imposed on him.

When smf2 came out, and he was shirtless, skinny, no abs, nothing, someone else and I talked about how he was actually so cool for doing that. Idols spend hours dieting and drinking protein shakes and locked up in the gym to get abs and get ripped before showing themselves shirtless in MVs, but Jimin didn't do all that. Then he went to suchwita and Yoongi actually told him how was he able to show up shirtless if his body isn't nice.

It's almost as if Jimin has barely been granted the simple consideration of being a real person, and for some reason this happens only to him in BTS.

I know I bring this up a lot, but this has always made me think of Jimin and the way people see him.

youtube

Especially when comparing the way people see the other members.

"Everything they know about me they will learn when it's projected onto you. Watch the way you pick up my bad habits and make them look good."

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witchthewriter · 1 year

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Heya! It's me again, may I request a level six male ship for Disney (except for Descendants) I'm going to resend my updated info in case it got piled down, thank you so much! ❣️

𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬/𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗦: Biromantic Pansexual and Genderfluid; He/They (though I'm biologically woman irl)

𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘: 21 years old, 5'1.5", Southeast Asian (Filipino). Chubby with messy shoulder length brunette hair, chocolate brown eyes, and a small beauty mark on my forehead. Feminine Tomboy or Soft Vintage (like Malia Tate's style from Teen Wolf) but loves to wear Korean makeup style

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: Libra-Scorpio cusp, Slytherin with patronous spirit of Hummingbird, INFJ, my enneagram is 4w5 and Neutral Good. I may have a slight introverted tendencies and awkward/anxious nature, I describe myself as fiery, swears like a sailor, confident, jokester, and, passionate. Religious, super talkative, sometimes hyper (because of excitement), giggly (I always laugh/snort for stupid reasons), nerdy, also sweet and nice though I can be aloof, intimidating, and scary when I get so angry. I tend to become really fiesty, stands boldly on what I believe (claiming myself as a realist though some of my views doesn't makes sense), unbothered to be myself, stubborn, young-at-heart, clumsy unfortunate and inattentive. Would don't give af towards the people that I hate, sarcasam and savagery is my main language. But on the other side, I overthink a lot and cry over small things many times which I sound like a drama queen, and a perfectionist that provokes even more, yet recognizes a soft spot for dumb jokes, cheesy pickup lines and prefer people with a good sense of humour who see myself as equal. Chill in academics, but very competitive that manages to the top even for my dreams---I'm very dedicated on what I want for my life, and I display modesty and gracefulness towards some people that deserves respect. One notable feature about her is her multi-potentiality due to being naturally gifted in artistic fields (this includes singing).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦/𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: Arts, choir, poetry, karaoke, literature, history, makeup, beauty pageants, fun/deep/dumb conversations, expanding my knowledge in Christianity, documentaries (about saints), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦: Stereotyping, obligation (without a logical reason), getting excluded, being interrupted, invalidating my feelings, judgemental people, telenovelas, hypocrites, dirty bathrooms, blackout, lightning, firecrackers, toads, snakes, cockroaches, toxic masculinity, misogyny, fake woke individuals, colonial mentality, and absurdly girly things

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: Drawing, singing, dancing when nobody's around (I'm very bad at it), sharing nerdy or opinionated thoughts, walking like a model (if I ever feel so confident), sleeping, listening to music (2000s, rock, kpop, and EDM), chatting or browsing on social media, watching videos on YouTube, making terrible jokes/puns, watching cartoons, writing, cooking, reading interesting things, and conceptualizing my artworks. I also used to study Italian language a bit

Want one? Here be the rules 🦋🌈

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐲

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑳𝒊 𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒏𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍! He was my biggest crush growing up. I mean he's stoic, kind-hearted, and gets the job done. He's very much like Robb Stark, Arthur Pendragon and Gally. Tough on the outside, soft on the inside!

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・You thought he hated you for the longest time. But it was just because on the outside he seems like such a cold person. But inside he was literally in love with you.

・Is your rock. He can calm you even in the most chaotic of times. Even if there was a tornado, he would be level-headed and steady.

・His pet names for you are ‘honey’, ‘darling,’ ‘my love.’ He knows it makes you blush. And he loves making you blush...

・Whenever he opens up to you, it makes you feel so special because you know he hasn’t told anyone about how he really feels

・Always ready to listen to your problems and help sort them out. He knows what to do when you aren’t dealing with things well emotionally, or if you’ve hurt yourself (yeah he knows first aid)

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Take A Chance On Me by the Midnite String Quartet

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

・ Cheerful Optimist x Grumpy Asshole

・ Moral/Emotional Support

・You fell first but they fall harder

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Coming of Age

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 How well you know yourself, and how you articulate yourself. You have such a fantastic way of expressing how you feel, and Shang appreciates that. Because some people are so unaware of themselves and how they’re feeling inside.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 Would be Belle. I think she would admire your hopefulness, and how you see the world. You would both have such brilliant conversations, and I reckon you would have a book club going on without realising it!

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 A mixture of Ariel, Chip and Piglet. I think you’re very curious and have a child-like innocence about you. You speak your truth and don’t let others get you down.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕 There was tweeting at your window for hours and hours. You thought it was just another bird, but the noise never ceased. So when you opened your window you saw it there. The little sparrow waiting for you. Now he follows you everywhere you go.

#pair ups #match ups #open

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dawnstruck · 2 years

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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

I'm probably super late to answer, but this is such an interesting question. The following list is in no particular order; I'll also mostly disregard what I think of the franchises in general, any shipping stuff, and whether or not I think the character was done justice in canon. With many series, I kept reading/watching beyond what I truly enjoyed, because I adored the characters. A good story is important, but I won't truly get invested unless there is a person or dynamic I wholeheartedly love. Also, this got way longer and more poetic than I intended.

Levi Ackermann (Attack on Titan): Love him. Love him to bits. Love that he is technically an overpowered character, but so fallible. Always falling short in a lot of way, often unable to save those he loves. Still trying to do what's right, trying to make the world a better place. He is so full of hurt, and love. I love how everything about him is a contradiction; he is tiny but Humanity's Strongest, a literal son of a whore and the commander's right hand man, a thug with a potty mouth and a cleaning fetish. Levi cares and he cares so deeply. He is such an iconic character

2. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist, particuarly 2003): Another tiny boi. Full of genius and heart and grief and rage. Edward is intriguing because he learned a really hard lesson when he was just a child. The story literally opens with him making the biggest mistake of his life, and then follows him trying to make amends. I love how is a spunky teen, and a major in a corrupt military, and a big brother, and a prodigy. A loud protagonist like him could easily have been a caricature, but instead he has a lot of facets and depths, and seeing him grow was a delight.

3. Ronan Lynch (The Raven Cycle & The Dream Trilogy): Ronan. Ronan, Ronan, Ronan who is capable of the most fanciful dreams and the most garish nightmares. Whose greatest gift is the worst burden anyone can possibly imagine. He is so tough and so vulnerable. Ronan is bruised knuckles and black boots and sprawling tattoos; he is Sunday mess and hand cream and raven chicks hand-reared in his palm. Ronan grows an entire forest out of a dead language, he would die for his family and friends, and kill for them, too. He prays and dreams and does not talk about his feelings. Ronan is barbed wire: he hurts and he protects, and sometimes he gets all tangled up in himself, only few people dare get close enough to try and unravel him again.

4. Dean Winchester (Supernatural): Hurt boi #4 because they are my favorite flavor. I love that he had to grow up way too quickly. From the beginning of the series, he was such an interesting juxtaposition, hyper-masculine but also geeky, a maternal figure to his brother and a failure in his own eyes, chosen by God and hunted by Hell. He went through so much and still always tried to put other people first. Self-destructive to a fault, insanely quotable, stupidly handsome, and beautifully 3-dimensional.

5. Tanaka Ryounosuke (Haikyuu!!): The joker, the idiot, the loudmouth, the perv even. The backbone of Karasuno that never breaks. Tanaka has such beautiful contrasts in him. He could be such a one-note character (if haikuu had any one-note characters), but instead he is what the team desperately needs. Where everyone else has their moments of weakness and despair, Tanaka is so reliable on the court, which makes the one match where he hits a wall feel so daunting. I love that he messes around a lot but, ultimately, he is always there, from the very beginning. I love his posturing and how he is ultimately just a boy from a small town. I love that he gets the girl. I also love that Saeko is his sister, but she didn't quite make it onto this list.

6. Fa Mulan (Disney, animated original, ofc): Mulan was my crush and my rolemodel and my pre-teen bisexual awakening. She embodied genderfluidity in a way that was way ahead of its time. Mulan is soft and feminine and caring, she is tomboyish and klutzy and wicked-smart, she is strong and manly and suited for war. Mulan's decision to join the army was not born out of a need to run away or prove her worth or to kill the Huns. She did it out of love, to protect her father, her family, her country. She knowingly put herself in grave danger, either by dying on the battlefield or by being found out. To me, the moment she is pulls herself up the pole to get the arrow is one of the most iconic in film history; that shit shaped me. She also managed to bag Shang, and boy, was he the other half of my sexual awakening.

7. the Unicorn/Lady Amalthea (The Last Unicorn): The whimsical fairy tale setting allows for such interesting story setting. The idea that she is the last of her kind, that she didn't even know because she was living in her eternal forest, that she left the sanctity of her home to look for the others, with no idea what she would find... I love that she, too, is ultimately a terrible and ancient thing, much like the harpy. I love her arrogance and ignorance, her wisdom and naivety. I love that she is turned into a human and hates it, and hates it more when she falls for Prince Lear. I love that she has to be brave and fight to save the other unicorns, that she succeeds but is forever changed. She is the last unicorn, and the first that learns to love. It's such a bittersweet ending, such a painful parting, and cherishes it nevertheless.

8. Brienne of Tarth (A Song of Ice and Fire): A tall woman. An ugly woman. A woman who is ugly and stays ugly, who grows strong because and in spite of it. The world has been so terrible to Brienne, many times over, but still she chooses to be kind. She devotes herself to Renly because he danced with her once, to Caitlyn because she showed her kindness, to Jaime even because he finally looked and truly saw her. I love how, especially in the books, we get to see a lot of Brienne through Jaime's eyes, how she grows more beautiful and precious the more he gets to know her. Brienne does not have to change for a man to love her; a man is changed because he loves her. Brienne is valor and strength and hard work through and through. She is a knight and she is a woman and neither has been a easily won.

9. Minerva McGonagall (Harry Potter): Do I even need to say anything? McGonagall, especially as portrayed by Dame Maggie Smith, is an icon. She is a badass. She cares for her students, even if she doesn't openly show it. She is easily the best teacher at Hogwarts, for quite a number of reasons. She is loyal and good and true. She does not pull her punches. She's witty and visceral and the kind of grounded mature character that HP needed, without turning into a caricature like some of the others. Many of the most memorably moments from HP canon, imo, involve McGonagall. From her welcoming the first-years over her feud with Umbridge to her stepping up against Snape and finally desperately calling Harry's name when she believes him dead. I was never a true Potterhead, but God, do I adore her.

10. Stiles Stilinski (Teen Wolf): The sidekick that was the protagonist to most. Dylan O'Brien brought so much to the table here. Stiles is the everyman amidst a sea of monsters, and yet he is the true force to be reckoned with. Stiles was the heart of the show and the brain. He was the snark and the ace up their sleeves. I love my quiet, tormented boys, but I also love my loud-mouthed idiots who are actually crucial for the group to succeed. I stopped watching TW a long time ago, but I still often think about Stiles.

Some honorable mentions:

Sokka (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Keith (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Sailor Mars/Rei (Sailor Moon)

Madame Adelaide (Aristocats)

Elle Woods (Legally Blonde the Musical)

Thor (MCU)

Spock (Star Trek)

Newt Scamander (Fantastic Beasts)

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III (How to Train Your Dragon)

#asks #me

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mypralaya · 2 years

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having very tangled Haven-adjacent thoughts about how we view victims/survivors and how like ok, so you know how being too masc is penalized in women but so is too femme? Like yes women in media who are hyper-feminine in a specific way are portrayed as bimbos and ditzes and there to be shown up by the Cool Girl. . .but the Cool Girl isn’t butch either. She’s sexy-looking and her clothes are def designed to show that, but in a “cool” and “tough” way that make it look like gosh she didn’t INTEND that, she doesn’t ever wear makeup yet her makeup is always perfect even in the most extreme situations, she eats like a construction worker and doesn’t care about her weight but is always going to have a super taut toned skinny body no matter what that is going to be displayed sooner or later, etc. She’s frankly WAY more of an impossible standard than just wearing dresses and makeup, while also being attractive and acceptable to straight male audiences; all her “tomboyishness” is specifically calculated for the male gaze. Masc and/or butch and/or gnc are in no way being elevated above conventionally feminine women here, NEITHER can be this because it requires not making an effort at conventional femininity while also reaping all its benefits without any of the penalization. That’s not a possibility in the real world. And I feel like the way media and by extension a lot of people view victims/survivors and their portrayal like that, like you have to hit this impossible sweet spot. I have A Lot of Feelings about how survivors are expected to Be A Certain Way to be worthy of sympathy and compassion, to be delicate traumatized flowers who are just sad in a fragile beautiful way, or, if they do lash out, it’s never at the wrong people or someone undeserving, and if you deviate from this you’re As Bad As Your Abuser. It’s also why, while I absolutely have so much love for very kind and soft pacifistic characters like Haven, I am very very dubious about posts praising people for being soft despite hardship or trauma and how strong and good that makes you because like. . .what does that say about people who aren’t still soft and kind and sweet? Are they bad? Weak? And why does a trait need to be labeled as “strong” to be worthy? I hate that “we have to call this STRONG” mentality, instead of just questioning why only strong traits are considered good. But back to my original point, I don’t think these posts MEAN to put down one kind of person at the expense of the other, and some DON’T because they word it right, but many don’t word it right and it comes off as “good job not being like THOSE PEOPLE” BUT AT THE SAME TIME I feel like you’re also penalized in a different way if you’re too passive or soft. If you aren’t seen as angry enough, or fighting back enough. I see a real strain of Not Like Other Girls in a lot of fiction that deals with trauma and abuse, in which our lead is Special because she always fights back every time and is therefore Better than the girls who just give up and accept it, because how dare they try to avoid being hurt even worse I guess. And maybe it’s just because I’m in a superhero fandom, but the “healing” journey for so many ---every, even--- abused traumatized figure inevitably involves them inflicting violence on others. Typically the people who abused them and then ever bad guys too, and I am not saying that’s a bad thing AT ALL, but it seems like it’s the only acceptable narrative. There’s a lot of “I am going to show I am NOT just a weapon by. . .killing a lot of people!” and not any “I am going to show I am not a weapon by living a peaceful life apart from all this shit and taking care of myself” and like I get that’s not what people are looking for in the superhero genre so I should maybe just look into other genres instead of complaining but I just feel like it speaks to this mindset that’s very entangled with Western toxic masculinity values---regardless of the gender of the person---about adversity making you strong (bc the torture and abuse and trauma is ALWAYS what MADE this person so cool and deadly regardless of how bad it’s portrayed) and dominating over all your enemies in the end and THAT being what “fixes” you so like, you can’t be too angry and bitter and definitely not to the wrong people, your trauma can’t be an inconvenience, but also if you’re NOT angry enough in a very specifically Badass way you’re not worthy of stories, just contempt, and it just feels like the “you should have fought back more” mentality under it all. You even see it in how some people will talk about how superior “survivor” is to “victim” because victims are so gross and sad and piteous and contemptible, like being a victim is the most disgusting thing in the world and it just feels like this very toxic mindset. . .whereas Survivor implies you’re a total badass (and also conveniently does not imply a perpetrator as the term “victim” does) and is much more in line with American cultural values

and I am NOT saying survivor is a bad term or should not be used for people who prefer it but I am saying the contempt and disgust with how many people will talk about victim, victimhood, how people use negative terms like playing the victim, perpetual victim, and so on, how characters like Cinderella are criticized for not standing up to her stepmother or not running away and how DARE she need outside help to save her, it reminds me of the Cool Girl issue. You can’t be too soft, you can’t be too hard. You can’t be traumatized in ugly aggressive ways, but if you’re not aggressive ENOUGH you’re stigmatized too as a worthless doormat who isn’t worthy of stories or representation and you’re A Bad Example. You have to be Black Widows and Wolverines, a Cool Badass Survivor whose trauma just makes them Cool and Badass and they kill a lot of people but it’s all BAD people and I also understand the value in that kind of fantasy but like idk I’m just kinda tired of these impossible dichotomies, and it came to mind because so many musings/quotes/inspiration posts I see just Don’t Work for Haven, because she’s not a “you’re so strong for being soft” person but she’s also not a “I am the weapon you made me and now I will turn against you, I am no mother I am no bride I am KING, some girls have sharp teeth, etc” either. Like I do think her power is in being soft and kind but also like. . .not in the very simplistic way these posts seem to imply? and like I said they also tend to imply NOT being that way is bad, in the same way that the opposite kind of posts tend to imply NOT being angry and hard is bad. . .and also maybe I just overthink everything and am nuts.

#meta #sorta #i know that haven is barely mentioned in this but she's what made me think of it #and i probably didn't phrase half this like i intended

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ricomola · 2 years

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okay but seriously I love love LOVE Koito for having such masculinity with his prettiness and delicacy! like with the circus incident... an acrobat is the perfect thing for him to be. it's the exact right combination of power, gracefulness, and showboating for him. I love how he's so hyper competent at a lot of things, but then he has all these personality quirks and eccentricities, like how he can be really self centered, or how he's very meticulous about his physical appearance, or how he's really needy with Tsukishima... it's so cute! and it goes so well with Tsukishima's dry practicality and good heart. I love these two.

YASSS. I could write an essay jahdkashdjk. But long short story, I love all his opposing traits <3 Imma tell you my 3 faves: -I adore the idea of him not being born with traditional japanese prettyboy traits (dark skin, eyebags, big nose) but still making it work 100%. -Spoiled but unexpectedly tough and hardworking. -Resting b*tch face but very enthusiastic and driven by feelings.

And his dynamic with Tsukishima is great xD. Sun/moon and very comical weirdo/serious duo energy.

#koito otonoshin #golden kamuy

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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JM: Toxic Masculinity

Here you go @sizzlingpatrolfox

This is him addressing his earlier phase of hyper masculinity and the changes we saw in his appearance as he was transitioning from the super cut muscled look he had earlier.

I think he was answering a question on how he had changed then as compared to his early years in BTS.

Toxic masculinity is when men feel they have to adhere to certain social and traditional constructs of masculinity. When they feel they have to look a certain way, speak a certain way or even act a certain way to be a man.

When people say men should look a certain way, act a certain way but when you don't look or act in those limited and restricted ways they see you as not a real man.

People say men shouldn't cry or show emotions, they tease a man who cries often, or dresses in a certain way, or can't lift weights or do all these other things that is deemed typical of men- these things perpetuate toxic constructs of masculinity.

Men shouldn't wear skirts or certain outfits and jewelry. Men shouldn't show emotional vulnerability. Men should instead be tough, hold their liquor, be buff, have muscles and hang from cliffs, bring women to their knees and make them tame and subordinate etc. All these are very limited notions of masculinity and very harmful to men's mental health as well as women.

At the heart of toxic masculinity is that hatred of femininity or misogyny. They just hate anything faminine because to them femininity is synonymous with weakness and being less. And although a man may not show that hatred outwardly towards women, they may internalize it and as such tend to hate the femininity in themselves due to their environment and how people around them treat those perceived to have feminine traits- be it men or women or other.

So some men with thin soft voices would often think of themselves as not man enough and would often drop their voices octaves lower around others to project their masculinity. You see this a lot among gay and queer relationships- especially among gay men who see themselves as effeminate.

Here is an example from a gay man who dated one such effeminate gay man.

From a personal experience, I have had Male straight friends complain they feel gay just because their voices haven't dropped even though they are well into mid twenties and one person has really large breasts they are insecure about because they feel it makes them look like girls- and I always ask them, what's wrong with looking like a girl?

May be this is your gender. You don't have to look like others's definition of Male or female or androgynous or whatever label is out there.

And in the entertainment industry there is an inclination to erase and give androgynous people digital gender corrective surgeries- photoshop, make up and what have you so they can make their models conform to these limited views of gender. It's similar to how some magazines white wash BTS to make them look more white than Asian.

And then we scratch our heads when BTS themselves whitewash their own photos with filters and shit. There is nothing wrong with looking Asian or having a tan.

Jimin debuting as a hiphop artist- please tell me how you see he had internalized this whole shit. He was a contemporary dancer thrust in a hiphop world that marginalizes softness and flexibility and androgynousity. Surely you must know even if he didn't say so himself that that could have had an impact on him.

The misogyny and toxic masculinity in hiphop is no joke. Like you just have to be honest about the things you see with your eyes. Some things may not sound logical or rational or anything but it's your truth.

I don't care if I sound irrational sometimes or say things that have some of y'all clutching your pearls. I just speak my truth.

Hiphop is rife with misogyny and toxic masculinity. Please pay attention to the things gay men in that industry say. Jimin was trying to project a certain image of his masculinity. He was trying so hard to look a certain way in those periods and everyone with eyes could see that.

And ironically, this is the same rhetoric people spewed whenever anyone brought up the topic until Jimin addressed it himself- probably as a result of the conversations being had in regards to the change in his looks.

Y'all go listen to the diss tracks other hiphop idols made about BTS. The gay slurs just because they rapped and had dark eyeliners. It's a tough industry and I think, I think their transition into Idolhood helped water things down.

Jimin trying project his masculinity to appear as a "strong man" will never not make me uncomfortable after this video. Call it PTSD from the tears I shed and still shed each time I watch these moments of him addressing his past hyper masculine self.

Yall saying I shouldn't worry... I hear you. I'm gonna worry anyway especially each time these companies they work with pull some stupid shit like this and I'm gonna run in here and rant if I want to🤺

Let me worry in peace👁👄👁

Signed,

GOLDY

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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Hi Clyde! I know this might be a bit late to the conversation but I just wanted to ask if you think M&K are writing Yang through a male lens? Not in the sense she's hyper-sexualised, but in the sense she lashes out at her allies without consequences (Fiona), has little empathy for female survivors of abuse (Salem and Blake) and gives her loved ones the cold shoulder when she doesn't agree with them rather than trying to reach an understanding (Blake and Ren).

Hi there, anon! No one is ever late to the conversation around here, not when I'm forever answering months-old asks lol

On the whole I would say no, simply because - as many others have pointed out in regards to other posts - this behavior is by no means seen solely in Yang. Ruby is out there lashing out in Volume 6, Jaune was giving Ren the same cold shoulder, no one else has expressed any empathy for the abuse survivors lately (though Yang might actually have a point in her favor there, given her talk with Weiss in Volume 5, when she learns about her mom's drinking). My point being, pretty much everyone is written with this classic masculine lens right now, where being angry, violent, and dismissive are framed as the correct way to approach problems, whether we're talking about Weiss shoving her weapon in Whitley's face, or Nora coolly brushing aside Ren's concerns. The exceptions being, to my mind, Ren - who learned this season that considering a kinder, more strategic approach is wrong - and Oscar who is embodying the archetype of the innocent child so fully that it allows him to forgive/grant absolution outside of the bounds of the story's internal logic and gendered expectations. Him reaching out to Hazel, Emerald, and even Ozpin is less a commentary on gender and more an extreme upholding of his status as the youngest and, comparatively, most innocent (which, as said previously, bumps up against Ruby's same, former status). Think Harry Potter, destroying evil with the love in his skin as an 11yo by merely touching Quirrel's face, not an older teenager hurling a dark curse at Malfoy while overflowing with rage. Oscar is still very much in that initial stage of being the young, baby-faced character who is not yet jaded and is thus able to overcome evil purely by wishing it so. Yet everyone else, including Yang, gets by on lies, secrets, violence, and anger - no matter how much the story wants to dress it up as heroics. So Yang is by no means alone in that.

What does interest me regarding Yang characterization right now is not, strictly speaking, about Yang. Rather, it’s about the presumed relationship with Blake and how changes to Blake’s character have reflected back on Yang. I won’t go into a full, eight season analysis of it here, but suffice to say, Blake’s personality has taken a sharp dive lately, most notably in the most recent volume. She used to be an opinionated, outspoken woman, the kind of person who marched up to Weiss in the middle of the street to denounce her family’s slavery, fighting for her people with as much intensity in a conversation as she gave on the battlefield. This is the woman who stormed off in anger at Weiss’ racism, demanded a solemn oath from Yang if she was going to believe her about the Mercury fight, rallied an army to defend Haven, set her own house on fire to defend her parents... I could go on. Blake used to only be quiet when it came to settling down with a good book. Now she’s far more meek and submissive. She’s been reduced to blushing prettily at Yang’s praise, begging Ruby to save her, going along with Yang’s plans for betrayal because she’s scared about killing again, clasping Ruby’s hands to assure her that she’ll save them all, etc. I use the term “reduced” intentionally because, on their own, there’s nothing wrong with any of these traits. If anything, Blake should be a more well-rounded character for being able to collapse crying over Adam, or go tongue-tied at a compliment. The problem lies in replacing her original personality with this new one: softer, less confrontational, less skilled, no longer as determined, no longer as angry, keeping to the background to play at comic relief or the damsel in distress. I bring all this up because - within the comparatively slim queer rep we’ve gotten in media - there’s a long history of writing them so that one is clearly the “man” in the relationship and the other is clearly the “woman.” This extends from visual markers like dividing them between assumed masculine and feminine clothing preferences - who wears dresses and who can pass for a boy in a baseball hat and sweats? - to caching in on equally assumed personality traits - who is the calm and compassionate individual; who has the temper and is constantly itching for a fight? To use two examples, think of couples like Sapphire and Ruby, or Kurt and Blaine. One is a cool blue in flowy dresses, always working to be sensible, while the other is an angry red in a sensible shirt and pants, easily pissed off. One is practicing a version of Beyoncé's “Single Ladies” in a sequined leotard, framed as the lady, whereas the other sings “Teenage Dream” in a suit at the piano, a song meant to appeal to the teenage girls watching, no matter the character’s sexuality. I’m simplifying a LOT here, including the context for the times (Glee) and the ways in which this divide is sometimes flipped (Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding), but my point is that whether authors realize it or not, they often force their queer characters into the gender binary, even while they’re supposedly meant to be challenging those norms. Blake and Yang, to get to a long-winded point, are becoming a part of that trend, wherein the closer they get to becoming a canonical couple, the more classically feminized Blake becomes. That, in turn, positions Yang as the “man” of the relationship. Already embodying some of those assumptions with her tough personality and brawl fight style, Blake’s regression into someone in need of rescue, someone less likely to speak up, someone who is visually positioned as less confident and in need of emotional care (think of her drooped ears and inability to make eye contact in “Ultimatum)” only increases that reading, especially given arcs like Yang’s insistence that she doesn’t need anyone protecting her, morphing into her becoming Blake’s protector instead. Yes, the dialogue states that they protect each other, but we all know RWBY struggles to show what the characters claim. Scenes like Yang arriving on a badass motorcycle to fight the majority of the battle against Adam, ending with her cradling a sobbing Blake who promises to never leave her side, or confidently taking Blake’s cheek in hand to comfort her after their not-fight, a moment of confidence and (unneeded) forgiveness... this all speaks volumes of something RWBY doesn’t think is there. So I don’t believe it’s intentional and, as said, there are a lot of complexities to take into account here, but I nevertheless don’t think it’s a coincidence that we’ve lost so much of Blake’s original personality right around the time the show got more serious about their relationship. As a presumed queer couple, there’s an instinctual desire to figure out which is the “guy” and which is the “girl” in the relationship, with Yang being positioned as the former the more Blake changes to fit the latter.

#rwby #mymetas

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kdramafeminist · 4 years

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Performative Badassery & Women in Kdramas

When I said I wrote an essay, I meant essay. This is a long one! Grab a snack and venture below the read more. I’ll see you at the end!

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You know the feeling. The drama begins. Our female main lead walks onto screen. She’s a successful businesswoman, a hotshot detective, clever lawyer, smartass retail worker, etc, etc. She stares down a random man to prove she’s the powerful one here. Or kicks some ass. Or rattles off a bunch of demands to her workers. Or talks fast to show off her intelligence.

Then she meets the male lead. There’re fireworks. Slowly we find our female lead has a softer side. Good to know. 3-dimensional and complex characters are important. It’s nice to see women on-screen who are both capable and emotional. Kick ass and feminine.

But slowly... something starts to go wrong. She seems to be crying more than showing literally any other kind of emotion. And is it just me or is she getting saved and manhandled and flustered quite a lot for a woman who we were told was so well put together? Sure, the circumstances are extreme. But they’re extreme for the male lead too and he seems to be managing just fine for some reason. Also, if both of them are ordinary people with no on-screen fighting experience, how come he’s so great at throwing fists out of nowhere and she’s busy keeping hidden or needing rescuing? Exactly how many times can one person just faint like that without anyone checking to see if she has a medical condition?

By the drama’s end our lead has gone through trials and tribulations. She’s fallen in love too, I’m happy for her. But... now that the story’s ending and she’s getting in one last chance to show us she’s a “badass”, why am I left feeling hollow? She’s showing us how tough she is but... we ALL spent this whole drama watching her have absolutely no agency or such a little amount that she might as well have been trying to put out a fire with a water-pistol. It’s almost like her previous badassery (in whatever form it may have been - I don’t mean badass only in terms of being able to throw a good punch) was just a façade. A way to hook in female viewers like me who want to see something more than a wilting wallflower or one-trick Cinderella. But the tiniest knock and the cardboard house collapses.

And no matter how many times we get throwaway lines about her being “the smartest/toughest/scariest/most capable one here” it doesn’t ring true compared to the actual character we’re watching.

Rom-coms, melos and sagueks especially (but many more genres besides), have a real problem when it comes to performative badassery in their female characters. The writers give us a female lead they claim is hyper competent, but the reality is totally different. Any plot that features romance, almost always features this. Honestly the way the start of the relationship in dramas actively MURDERS the female character’s agency could be its own essay so I won’t go deep, just know the two are 100% linked.

The “Faux Action Girl” Problem

A Faux Action Girl happens when a writer wants the popularity that comes with having a cool action girl character, or they want the praise that comes with writing a lead that breaks gender norms, or they want to be lauded for writing a FL whose more capable & progressive than the female kdrama lead we’d imagine, but they don’t end up actually giving us her. Instead we get the fake or faux version. The reasons are usually a combination of:

Relying on outdated tropes. Wrist grabs, damsels in distress, a girl fainting so she misses some vital plot related moment to increase runtime etc...

Sexist worldviews. As a by-product of being Korean which is still a heavily sexist country because of the holdover of Confucianism mixed in with the Christianity westerners brought over that leads many writers to (often without even realising) inserting moments that inadvertently reduce their female leads because they think that’s what correct or natural for the female character based on their opinion of women in general. Even if it doesn’t actually fit the type of character they’ve set out to create.

Executive meddling. Producers who think their demographic wouldn’t be able to handle a real badass but also know their female viewers want more complexity and agency in their FLs these days and so give us the paper-version instead of the 3D model.

This character’s more “badass” traits are nearly always just an Informed Ability (the writers tell us via other characters what she can do but never actually show us on-screen these same things) or we only ever see her utilise them once/twice at the beginning and maybe if we’re lucky once at the end, but never again.

It really hurts.

The “Badass Decay/Chickification” Problem

Sometimes she really is a legitimate action girl though. She’ll be a cop whose good at her job or an ordinary citizen whose well-versed in taekwondo. She has actual moments on-screen to prove herself.

Well. She has moments in episodes 1 and 2. Then she almost always goes through Badass Decay/Chickification. Which means that writers (& producers) believe that if we don’t see her having a softer side, she’ll become unrealistic or unlikeable.

They fix her. So she becomes more vulnerable. As the only girl on the team (usually), she becomes the one who ends up injured more often or needs rescuing most. Her life begins to revolve entirely around her romance and nothing else. (Meanwhile the male leads gets to have the romance and keep his side-quest - have you noticed that? If the FL is really lucky she gets to keep one side-quest too, maybe a dream job or solving some family mystery. Never more though.. only men get to be complicated here). Once she was competent... now it feels like she legitimately had a personality transplant.

Is this even the same person we began with?

The “Worf Effect” Problem

Worf Effect is when the danger/power level of a villain is shown to the audience by making him successfully attack/hurt/ruin the plans of someone that the audience knows is skilled. This isn’t a bad thing alone and writers use it all the time. We need to acknowledge the villain as a proper threat and this is a useful way to do it!

But in kdramas it’s something used almost always against the lead female character. The one we’ve seen is intelligent, or strong-willed or quick-witted.

And because it’s always her, this character begins to look weak. If this writing trope is abused, her reputation as the "biggest, toughest" etc. begins to look like it never existed and we’re back to her having an informed ability.

That this is something that happens to the female characters not only more often but almost exclusively is a sign of sexism. Plain and simple.

Competent, Real Badass Female Characters Aren’t Scary

If you’re going to sell me a capable woman, give me her.

Not someone who has one very unique, specialised skill but otherwise can do nothing else except for that one time when her one skill is useful.

Or has built up her own empire, implying a certain level of smarts, business ability or networking skills, but then once she’s removed from it she becomes so utterly useless it begs the question how she built that empire in the first place.

Or has a rep as the detective whose taken down the toughest guys off-screen, but whatever skills she used to do that seem to disappear the moment anything really challenging happens on-screen.

I’m not saying she needs to win all the time. Of course she doesn’t, how boring is that? All I’m asking is that when she loses, it’s in keeping with the character I’m supposedly watching. A woman that can kick ass can still be outwitted. A clever woman can be physically beaten. A street-smart girl can be foiled by rules and regulations. A leader-type can be beat by someone whose more unconventional.

It’s not difficult to write someone like this. I know the writers can do it because every male lead is written this way. I’ve never once, whilst watching a badass male lead lose, get beaten and cry, thought “oh no, his badassery was fake all along!”

Because when he loses it makes sense. It’s in character. There’s a solid plot reason behind why it happens.

Meanwhile my ladies who are meant to be able to kick ass and take names somehow just got kidnapped out of nowhere?

Make it make sense!

Consistent Characterisation is Good Writing

I get wanting moments where one is injured and the other fusses over them. I love those moments! All I ask is more imagination taken to get us to that point. Make it in-character. If my taekwondo black belt is kidnapped, I want to see her really fight. I want the kidnapping to be shown as genuinely tough on the people trying to nab her. Imagine how much more satisfying it would be to see her fight off all these bad guys, yet still end up losing? How much more heart-breaking?

We’d be so much more invested in the mind games or politics the villain is playing if the female lead we’ve been told is good at that stuff is playing the game just as hard. When she loses it’ll hurt more.

Writers need to stop being afraid that her remaining capable in some way diminishes the masculinity, attractiveness, prowess or “hero” status of the male lead. Trust me. It doesn’t. Ever.

It’s not a case of either/or. We don’t think less of the male lead because his partner is as capable as him in whatever way that may be. Instead, we think more of them both. Once a romance begins, the heightened worry both characters have for each other should only make both of them stronger in whatever area they’re skill lies in. Not just make the man a sudden defence wall and the woman a worrying mess.

I’m sure everyone who reads this can immediately think of at least one drama with a FL who is a Performative Badass. I know I had about ten in mind as I wrote this.

There are exceptions. Cases where the badass gets to stay a badass. Usually these cases happen in genres without romance because like I said above, those problems are linked. But I can think of a few romcoms/sageuks/melos where it happens too.

But those are the minority.

Women in kdramas. Give them agency. Make their characterisation genuine, not just a bit-part for the sake of a cool trailer. Not just one moment someone can edit into a “badass multifemale” video edit - only for us to watch the drama from the clip and discover we’ve been sold a lie.

How satisfied would we be?

Writers! Give us a story we enjoyed because of the excellent characterisation. A new female character we can add to our lists of faves. Women who proved themselves as consistently badass as their first scenes claimed. Women in kdramas who, no matter what problem they faced, don’t become echoes or paper-thin versions of who we were promised.

Actual, complex, layered, enjoyable, KICK-ASS AND BADASS female leads.

Wouldn’t that be a miracle.

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PS. This is an open notice that it’s OKAY to reblog with added commentary/thoughts/rambles of your own. I would *love* to see it if you have anything to add.

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(Disclaimer: This essay was written with a specific female character type in mind. I am not saying every FL needs to be a badass or hyper competent. Soft, shy, physically weak female characters exist and can be just as realistic and complex. There’s a few I can think of who I adore. Instead my essay is very specifically about characters who are *meant* to be badass from the start but then... don’t end up being. So, yeah, before anyone claims I’m some angry feminist who needs every FL to be some tough martial artist or something. Absolutely not! Diversity is amazing and interesting. All I ask is that when I am told I’ll be getting a badass in a drama I get her. Not have my heart broken by the fake wilting flower I find in her place. Ok. End disclaimer. ^^)

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Also I’m tagging a bunch of you because you reblogged my post saying you wanted this so here! TY for making it to the end ^^

@kdramaxoxo @islandsofchaos @storytellergirl @vernalagnia-blog @lostindramas @salaamdreamer @planb-is-in-effect

#kdrama #kdrama discourse #kdrama feminist #women in kdrama #badass women #strong female lead #though to be clear I am an angry feminist lmfao #how does a woman living in this world not be tbh

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avillainousmagician · 2 years

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I've always wished I could have facial hair. And I'll always remember admitting to this in secondary school and getting the piss taken right out of me for it.

Some of us would like the option of sometimes being all dresses and lace and bows and sometimes being handsome with a waistcoat and goatee. But sometimes some of us who have always felt like that since their memories began (since the age of 3) are cursed with being a petite, curvy, 155cm person with a big eyed round face that only really works with the femme option.

I always feel like I can't properly discuss my gender issues because of how I look and the fact that I am so into make-up and fashion in the ways that I am. And I am reeeeally into fashion and make-up. But I know that I have both felt and have vocalised my in-between feelings regarding gender as far back as I can remember - so since I was 3. I would think about gender a lot in relationship to myself growing up, though this was the early 2000s (I was born in '92, so my internal musings on this start at '95 but the most serious of it would be '02 -) so I had none of the resources young people these days have regarding gender-identity. I just know that around the age of 12-14 ('04-'06) the conclusion I came to was 'androgynous on the inside and feminine on the outside'.

People were fine with that but as soon as I expressed a wish for facial hair, it was comedy-time. The reason I like to go with my nickname over my actual name is because it's unisex. (My real name being Lauren and my nickname being Lee. I get called Lee more often than anything else, always have done as it's my family nickname.) I know when I started puberty I had a really fucking tough time with the whole waist-to-hip ratio going all super-femme as it did. I did not appreciate that and I was stare at myself in the mirror freaking out about it. That didn't feel like what my body was supposed to be. I grew out of this and I put it down to an autistic aversion to change thing, but it was major discomfort at the time.

The reason I generally present very feminine (even if it's an edgy hyper-femme, a bit grunge, a bit rock-chick, whatever you want to call it. I got between that and vintage oddball with a lot of overlap inbetween) is because women's clothes have such variety. I can dress eccentrically so easily with women's clothes. I can't dress masculinely all that easily because I a) am 155cm tall (five foot one) and b) have a small frame with a curvy figure. I am so drastically the wrong shape for men's clothes. But I know when I do manage to wear a shirt and tie or anything else stereotypically 'masculine' I get this nice wee burst of euphoria.

I dunno what this culminates in, if anything. I suppose I kind of feel like autism is my gender. Which sounds kind of silly, I know. But it's the best I can come up with.

#personal #actuallyautistic #autisticlee #gender identity #gender musings #my pronouns are fuck knows

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idw-sonic-fan-blog · 3 years

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My opinion on Surge the Tenrec and Kit the Fennec is that it’s hilarious that the IDW team created opposites of the Team Sonic.

Starline is Knuckles opposite.

Surge is Sonic’s opposite.

And Kit is Tails’ opposite.

And judging how Knuckles and Starline are complete opposites, I can only guess Surge and Kit’s personality traits and I am excited to see them. Just look at Knuckles and Starline. They are both species related and were introduced working with Eggman but the differences are stark in that Eggman essentially tricked Knuckles and omitted details in order to seize the Master Emerald, while Starline freed Eggman from amnesia. Knuckles is the guardian of the Master Emerald and Starline is the innovator of the Warp Topaz. Knuckles doesn’t really know all what the Master Emerald does and doesn’t really care too much to experiment with it’s power whereas Starline experimented extensively with the Warp Topaz. Knuckles is hyper masculine and has a tough guy persona and is really physical. Starline is effeminate in design and isn’t one for physical combat but is capable. Both Knuckles and Starline used misdirection and hijinx to ward off Sonic in their first confrontations with him. Knuckles is the guest team member of Team Sonic whereas Starline’s role of this Starline Team would be one of the leader and very active.

They went into a lot of detail with Starline and I know Evan and company wouldn’t just introduce more new characters without putting much thought into them. So I’m excited to see them.

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fonulyn · 2 years

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Is it just me or are Chris and Wesker seeped in toxic masculinity? Maybe that's not the right word, but the theme feels like a coping mechanism for both of them. Chris breaks out of it because he has a partner, but Wesker is stuck in it. You don't have to, but I'd love it if you ever use it as a fic idea. It doesn't even have to be Chrisker, I just love the way you get into the characters heads.

you know I've been thinking about this for a while now and I really don't know if I can give a coherent response? the thing is, we never really see Chris or Wesker off the clock, how they would be in their private lives instead of how they are on duty. and considering the whole BOW-thing, their work-selves can be vastly different to their private-selves, y'know?

like, a quick google search defines toxic masculinity as:

Unconditional physical toughness.

Physical aggression, fear of emotions.

Discrimination against people that aren't heterosexual.

Hyper independence.

Sexual aggression or violence.

Anti-feminist behavior.

and if we consider Chris? the first two points both are something he kind of needs to be while he's on the job. he has to be tough and has to do quick calls, and there isn't really time for emotions and hesitation. also the job calls for a certain level of physical aggression. if he's exactly like that in his private life? we don't really have any way of knowing. the closest we get to him being off duty is in RE6 at the bar, where he is a raging asshole, but he's suffering from an intense trauma and amnesia at that moment so I personally don't think he's really himself, there.

same with point 6, he is an absolute dick at that bar but ...again, I don't think he's really him, considering. and every other interaction he has with for example Jill? Sheva? there's nothing that'd suggest that he'd think they're any less capable and competent than he is. or the team in Vendetta, it's not like Nadia gets treated any different than DC and Damian.

the third point is kind of useless to even talk about because Capcom doesn't exactly hand out the sexualities of any characters so there's no way we can know if he'd be discriminating against them or not. same with point 5, we don't really get any sense of his private life, sexual or not, so there's no way of telling.

number 4 would absolutely fit Wesker 100% he seems like the "every man for himself trust absolutely no one" type :'D

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that you might absolutely be right! but I don't think we have enough evidence one way or the other to make any final calls about this. if anyone has any thoughts they wanna share, I'd love to hear them tho!

mainly I think Chris and Wesker are both very target oriented. they get kind of tunnel-visioned, especially Chris, when there's a goal in sight they do anything and everything to reach it. and that easily causes the determined, even aggressive side to surface while all the softer sides are not really important at that given moment. Chris does have softness in him, there's countless of examples of that, but he easily goes into mission-mode when we only see the determination and the drive to get shit done.

as for fic? I definitely, absolutely, wouldn't mind writing something that'd touch on this but I have to admit right now I'm kind of drawing a blank when it comes to what that could actually be... I only have a bunch of jumbled thoughts and nothing that I could really start building a story from. but if anyone has any suggestions for a starting point, again, I'd love to hear them :D

(also thank you so much, means a lot to me you think I can do that! 💖)

#re answers #anonymous #ask and i shall answer #this is kind of all over the place i apologize #and i'm sorry for the ''might be might not be'' answer :'D #i know it's kinda useless #chris redfield #wesker

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scripttorture · 4 years

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Is there any evidence for torturers going easier on victims that look like/remind them of people they know (family, friends), or by that point do they lack the empathy required to make that kind of a connection?

I’d say there’s no evidence for or against. So far as I know it’s not something that’s been asked in any consistent fashion. I can think of isolated cases where people mentioned these moments of recognition, but no deeper discussion of whether it effected their actions.

There isn’t a lot of research on torturers. And that means that the quality of evidence available is… not great. I feel like it’s best to be open about that and work with what we’ve currently got.

There aren’t a lot of studies. Sample sizes are typically small, Fanon saw two torturers and for a long time he was the only mental health professional who talked about torturers specifically. Part of this is lack of interest/funding. Part of it is low conviction rates. And it probably doesn’t help that a lot of what is out there is untranslated, behind paywalls or both.

I draw on anecdotal evidence as well as studies because there are lot more interviews with torturers (usually by journalists) then studies. I try to make it clear when I’m referring to anecdotal evidence and when I’m drawing my own conclusions based on the information I have.

Having said all that: I would say that there isn’t any evidence that torturers lack empathy, or that they have any sort of mental illness before they start torturing.

For a start the organisations they’re part of actively try to screen out people with mental illnesses or low empathy. They’re seen as more difficult to control.

Fanon’s work explicitly links his client’s mental health problems to their ‘work’ as torturers. Anecdotal evidence from interviews with torturers and their families/friends consistently describes them as healthy before they started torturing others. This isn’t the same as lacking empathy but it is relevant to the bigger picture here.

Because one of the other things that comes up consistently in studies and interviews is the way social circles pressure torturers into continuing.

Torturers create- effectively a sub-culture within larger organisations. Rejali describes it as hyper-masculine and toxic. They seem to primarily socialise with each other and they collectively… feed into this really unhealthy set of behaviours and beliefs.

They see themselves, individually and collectively, as incredibly important. As doing the ‘real work’, the tough jobs, the things that keep everything else running. They encourage this bloated and deluded sense of self importance in each other. They take an adversarial approach to authority, pitting themselves against management/higher ranked individuals who ‘don’t understand how things really work’.

But they’re also acting in competition with each other because torture is a zero sum game.

For insistence: imagine an investigation into a road accident where the car that hit someone is abandoned. Multiple people working on the investigation will all have an opportunity to earn praise/reward for doing a good job. The person who finds finger prints on the steering wheel and the person who finds a witness to the accident are both seen as doing something useful and productive.

In torture only one person can really be responsible for forcing a confession or ‘getting’ the sort of false information that torture produces. Which means that rather then working together torturers are competing with each other.

You’re probably wondering what all this has to do with the question. I think the question reflects a completely understandable and normal misunderstanding about why torturers keep torturing.

My impression is that empathy has very little to do with it because for the torturer it isn’t really about the victims, or at least it’s not just about the victims.

It’s about supporting their social standing within this toxic sub-culture. And about supporting their own self image, which becomes increasingly wrapped up in the idea that they’re ‘good’ at inflicting pain… something it’s really impossible to be good or bad at.

They know that if they stop it will be taken as a sign of weakness by their social circle. They don’t want to experience the resulting social censure or sometimes threats and violence. Refusing to torture, or holding back is seen as a betrayal of the group. Which is taken pretty seriously when everyone involved knows they’re committing a serious crime. By this point the other torturers are just about the only people they’re socialising with and since we’re social animals the idea of losing our entire social circle is really terrifying.

Some of them genuinely seem to believe that brutality will get them the results they want and they frame themselves as going against natural humane feelings for the ‘greater good’.

Stopping or refusing is more then an individual act of empathy here: it’s a big risk from the perspective of the torturer.

None of this means you shouldn’t write a torturer choosing to stop, or to be moved by empathy. But I think it’s important to understand it isn’t the only factor at work here.

These people are stuck once they start. Their social circle, self worth and physical safety are (from their perspective) bound up in continuing to torture.

And that’s something we don’t tend to see in our fiction. I personally think that this omission really skews the way torturers are depicted; it leaves authors grasping for increasingly ludicrous motivations and personalities to explain ‘why’.

I’d encourage you to try and get a sense of this toxic sub-culture in your story, especially if you do want to write a torturer having this moment of empathy. Partly because it gives a better sense of the reality of torture.

But partly because I think it would make for a better story; it gives the decision to stop weight because at comes with consequences and personal risk.

If you want a more detailed overview of this toxic subculture your best bet is Rejali’s Torture and Democracy.

I hope that helps :)

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#writing advice #tw torture #torturers #behaviour of torturers #empathy #mental health #writing torturers #motivations of torturers

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safarigirlsp · 3 years

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Why don’t you write submissive men? I love Sub!Kylo and that’s how most people write him, but you tend to write him as his Dom? Can we send requests for sub Kylo? That’s seems more how people see him. The hyper alpha masculinity seems less popular now. Not trying to be rude, just curious. I read your FAQs and wanted to see how against submissive stuff you are?

Just my personal preference, but I really don’t care for subby men.

Now, a dominant badass who is being submissive to his woman is totally different and something I’m very into, as is a man doing everything he can to please his woman.

However, truly submissive/subby men are not my thing and they kind of weird me out personally.

All of the characters I write I personally HC as something like service oriented dominant alpha men. They have different facets and degrees of dominance, obviously, but I do not HC any of them as being submissive by nature. A common assumption is that a dominant man is dismissive of his woman’s pleasure. I completely disagree. On the contrary, they have a huge amount of ego bound up with their ability to make their woman feel better than she ever has before and better than absolutely anyone else ever could.

This doesn’t mean that I write meek or weak women. I almost always write a badass woman who’s at least equal to her man. I personally think there’s a lot of fun in being a boss bitch who still finds a man who’s tough enough to come in and sweep her off her feet and make her feel like a queen.

It saddens me personally that there isn’t more alpha men and big badass masculinity floating around in the culture anymore! I love it myself and I can’t get enough!

My first crushes on characters when I was 5 were on Dirty Harry, Indiana Jones, and Rocky Balboa. These days it’s more like Kylo, Flip, Wolverine, Tony Stark, and Mike Banning lol. So, that should tell you something about my view of ‘hyper alpha masculinity.’

Please see the following for some wonderful sub Kylo! There’s a ton more out there obliviously, I just do not read a lot of it personally, so I’m not as familiar with that.

Submission thread between @contesa-lui-alucard and @leather-and-embers

https://contesa-lui-alucard.tumblr.com/post/636960484272291840/submission

Ropes of Silk by @lovelyykylo

https://lovelyykylo.tumblr.com/post/633197552683122688/ropes-of-silk

Lightening by @babbushka

https://babbushka.tumblr.com/post/632446224311730176/lightning

A Million Things by @babbushka

https://babbushka.tumblr.com/post/631278802394300417/a-million-things

Formidable by @babbushka

https://babbushka.tumblr.com/post/184651433077/formidable

#fic

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