#a lot of people that were shitting on me for being a man were non-binary or otherwise gnc

[winterwerewolf]

Coming to terms with being a man.

I am certainly not the first to bring it up and I will not be the last but: The hardest part for me personally as a trans man is not the fact that I experience severe gender dysphoria, it's the fact that being male/masc or a man has been so severely demonized by queer people that were supposed to be my friends, my found family, that it steered me right back into an even bigger closet for 8 years. Yeah. 8 fucking years. I knew I was a man when I was 12 years old and aside from the obvious hostility I faced because of garbage cishet people it was even worse through non-cis, non-het and non-cishet people.

I see others like me trying to raise awareness for this issue only to be shut down as someone who "whines and bitches" or even "tries to separate and divide the community". Every time an issue is brought up by trans men we are accused of "looking for issues where there are none", we are accused of "attempting separatism" and accused of "stealing other peoples spotlight" by OTHER queer people no less and all of this gets sort of covered up. As if queer people cannot be evil. As if being queer and specifically being trans somehow absolves you from being a massive bitch and asshole towards other trans people.

You do not have to punch me in the face to make clear you want me to face/experience violence. You don't have to say "I hate trans men in particular" for me to know that you do. When I found the Hashtag Transmisandry and Transandrophobia I cried tears of joy because there was finally a group of other men and mascs who have very similar experiences to mine. I am thanking y'all on my knees and kissing your hands for being brave enough to share these awful experiences even when faced with hostility and scrutiny and even though retelling also means reliving them to some extent. My point here is: Queer people who are hostile towards me have always had this weird victimhood complex of "I was affected by the patriarchy therefore it is my right to hate men." When I dared to point out that I also have experiences with the patriarchy (as does every member of society btw, there are no people unaffected, they are just affected in different ways) I was told to shut up and sit down because I could not possibly understand what it feels like to be raised in a misogynistic society. As if I am not viewed as a woman by transphobes and alike. As if I was not raised "like a girl". As if I had no fucking first hand experience and still do because I do not "pass".

I was there in the boat with you and you decided that, no, actually I never fucking was because what, it challenges your narrative about trans men experiencing zero oppression?

Anyways, this is long and ramble-y enough as it is so to finalize this emotional mess: Fuck TERFs, TIRFs and Baeddals or whatever y'all decide to name your cute little hateful-group next for making me feel like I have no voice, no right to love myself, like I am somehow rotten through and through. Fuck you so hard.

#misandry #transmisandry #transandrophobia #transphobia in queer spaces exists even from other trans people and I am tired of pretending that it doesn't because it is not #expressed through someone punching me in the face and calling me a slur #other transpeople can be transphobic and it does not reduce itself to internalized transphobia #this is not a goddamn jab at transfemmes btw so fuck outta here w your “just say you hate transwomen lol” and your bad faith argument #a lot of people that were shitting on me for being a man were non-binary or otherwise gnc #lets not pretend being queer makes you inherently good and supportive of other queer people aight

[sunkern-plus]

i know there should be more yuri (because of this website being the yuri website and the woman prioritizer website, and i agree as a woman prioritizer), but...there should also be secret third thing, secret fourth thing, and secret fifth thing stuff too (n/n stuff, women x nonbinary stuff, and men x nonbinary stuff)

#nln #nlw #nlm #and no being a nonbinary person primarily attracted to other nonbinary people no matter the alignment #and also being a man or woman attracted to nonbinary people in a non-chaser-y way is not a fetish. like a lot of discourse shit has said #as in i've literally seen blog posts that have said this. #like that basically made us feel ashamed for being nonbinary and me specifically for being unlabeled #but primarily attracted to other nonbinary people and women and rarely men #and primarily nonbinary people and women in a particularly nonbinary way #literally most of the women/women adjacent people i'm primarily attracted to are some form of nonbinary/genderfluid/femgender unaligned #literally most of the women i'm attracted to are also nonbinary. and somehow to most mainstream lgbt people #who DON'T fall out of acceptable binaries (mainly people saying this abt people like me were trans men) are 'fetishistic' #like how a lot of transmasculine 'fat positive activists' save for a few think that people (even if fat) having preferences for fat people #is fetishistic somehow. even if the other person is fat and genuinely prefers other fat people in general #ANYWAY rant over. i'm tired of being mad at every single community treating me like scum

[inazuma-fulgur]

I like the scent of people but I hate the scent of sex

Like all participants can have showered until just five minutes before, done a deep clean doesn't matter

""Not all odors are bad," Sherry Ross, MD, an OB-GYN" yeah but what if I don't like them

Kids [endearing, joking] it's time to learn about your body and stis

Here's the source for the quote:

#legit smell might be my no 1 reason to never have sex again #i mean there are other issues that make me very much not fond of the idea that are more pressing #being ace and telling ppl because it's relevant in regards to boundaries has unfortunate effects. usually it's confusion (annoying #because then I have to answer questions or leave) and sometimes straight disinterest. which honestly is fine. #desinterest is definitely the best result #sometimes people don't get it but just accept it but that's honestly almost worse than the annoying questions because someone is avoiding #the topic instead of choosing to broaden their horizon. sure some people do their research privately but you can't do research about me #at least not about my sexuality. you can do quite some online searches about me lmao #and the third common reaction is fetishization. were people either assume I'm some innocent pure fantasy being and make up shit about me #(or about ace people in general) and if there ever is just one thing not framed well or perfectly nuanced that's a wild card for folks to #believe whatever they prefer to have heard and then if you correct anything there's more confusion and pain #because everything I say or say about myself turns into a fact fact. about everyone which is just not how it works #and the other form of fetishization (in my experience by allo cis women who have not made any experiences not getting fetishized by men #(and also misread me as a man. people's education about trans people is miserable. to a lot of cis people seemingly being non binary is an #on top label and still has you qualify as a man or woman underneath that. as if calling yourself non binary was like a lesbian calling #themselves butch. which obviously isn't an accurate comparison even if nb women and men exist.) #and with those types there comes a fetishization of being seen as respectful and not predatory which then makes you more sexually appealing #which idk kinda makes sense if you're dealing with a sexually active person that is interested in you as well #it does not make sense purely on the terms of you being attracted to someone who mentioned being ace to you. it is not about you. whether #said ace person is sexually active or not

[drdemonprince]

I read your newsletter about "transmisandry" today. I'm a trans man and I generally agree with what you said. However, I was wondering how you would classify a particular experience of mine and other trans men I know irl or have seen online.

In short, I find that in some queer spaces, masculine and/or "binary" (meaning, not non-binary) trans men are treated as outsiders and enemies. I imagine some straight-passing queer cis men experience similar.

This prejudice against masculinity has nothing to do with us being trans, and is in no way oppressive, but it seems to me that some people have a hatred/disgust/discomfort/etc. with masculine men, especially if we are proud of our manhood. I sometimes feel excluded in queer or progressive spaces, and like I have to change myself to fit into others' idea of "acceptable" manhood.

I think this tends to emotionally affect trans men in particular because being a man is generally hard-won and joyful for us. Have you experienced prejudice in queer spaces, especially trans spaces, for being transmasculine? And while I don't believe there exists systemic misandry, is this not a form of misandry, just interpersonal?

Thanks, I really appreciate your work.

Hi there, thank you for great question. What you are describing is certainly a very real and troubling dynamic within both queer and feminist spaces, and it's put me off for a very long time. I have sometimes referred to this as "playful 'misandry' feminism", always with "misandry" in quotes because, as we've already established, it's not a real locus of systemic oppression. I have also sometimes in the past likened it to "Men's Tears Coffee Mug" feminism in its performative, self-congratulatory, typically white feminist stance.*

*in the Koa Beck sense of the term. Someone who is not white can be a white feminist.

I was always put off by performative man-hating jokes and the exclusion of men within feminist spaces because, well, I was one, and because it nearly always played out in transmisogynistic ways that were transparent to me, and because I was a major ride-or-die for men who were victims of sexual violence yet were frequently excluded from survivors' spaces (again, because I was one, even before I realized that I was).

There are a lot of troubling effects that happen when feminist women make a big performance out of finding all men to be disgusting and evil and frequently express disinterest in men's feelings or suffering (which used to be way more common in my estimation, around the early 2010's or so it seemed to peak). I was driven away from feminist spaces as a young closeted trans man because I could see such spaces were not for me or for any of the other men that I cared about and needed support. On the inverse side of things, I have spoken to many trans men who said that "playful "misandry"" feminism actively made it harder for them to realize that they were guys. Men were seen as the enemy and inherently evil and destructive and so they felt absolutely disgusting about the possibility of being a man, or feared transitioning would get them seen as a betrayer of the feminist movement.

As you rightly note, it is not just trans guys who get excluded by such dynamics. Cis men who are genuinely avowed feminists can be driven away by such forces, which is especially upsetting in the case of sexual assault survivors and queer men. Trans women and TMA enbies are excluded from feminist and women's spaces because they supposedly "look like" men to these types, and their own feelings of superficial safety rank above the actual data on who is the most at risk structurally (which is trans women). Butches are regarded in some spaces as too aggressive or unacceptably masculine because of it. And people's analysis of gender oppression just overall sucks when they buy into "playful misandry" style feminism because they go around saying shit like "femme people are oppressed by masc folks." what the hell does that mean. Does a cis, gender conforming feminine woman have less structural power than a butch lesbian? I don't think so.

It seems to me that the big problem here is that "playful misandry" feminism is rooted in a deep deep misunderstanding of the structural nature of oppression. Sexism isn't caused by patriarchy and capitalism, it's caused by "men" and so hating men and excluding them is what will fix things. Men as individuals are responsible for sexism and so women should be as detached from them and unsupportive of them as possible. This logic leads to a TERFy place really quickly, and yes, it also really really damages trans men.

My opinion is that it's best to critique this problem as the political failure that it is: a misunderstanding of sexism as individualistic rather than systemic. That's the core issue from which all the problems flow -- from rampant transmisogyny to the exclusion of cis male sexual assault survivors to the feelings of alienation of trans men. Yes sometimes naming the performative nature of "man hating" jokes and the like is helpful because people recognize instantly what that dynamic is when they hear it. But the "misandry" itself is not the core problem -- it's the shitty gender politics and white feminism.

Does that make sense? To be clear, I think it's something trans men get to talk about. I talk about it from my positionality quite a lot really. I don't think "misandry" is ultimately the helpful or clarifying way to name it, but I will sometimes throw around that term with a TON of qualifiers if I'm discussing the specific interpersonal dynamic of women saying that men are evil rapists innately or whatever. But really discussing the broader gender politics failure that leads to those little shitty comments and looks is almost always more helpful. If trans guys and cis guys are feeling excluded from a space due to these dynamics it's almost always the case that trans women, TMA enbies, butch women, and lots of women of color are too.

[vaspider]

Intro Post, updated March 1, 2023

I post all asks under the name they were submitted under, and I post them when I feel like answering them. I will never honor a request to answer an ask privately or anonymously. Anon is never turned on. These are hard self-care boundaries. Please block the tag "harassment tag" if you don't want to be subjected to some of the horrible shit I get sent sometimes.

If you like what I do, please consider hiring me, consider buying something from NerdyKeppie (the shop I own with my spouse - we do custom work!), consider buying me a coffee or becoming a Patron or tossing some money in my PayPal tip jar. I am a disabled, queer, fat, Jewish non-binary butch whose entire income is derived from selling Quality Queerwear via our company NerdyKeppie (we also offer patches of all sorts, nerd gear, etc -- if you don’t see it, ask!), Patreon (queer fiction for a dollar) and freelance work.

If asking me to boost a post for you, ask at most once per week, and please don't make that the only way you interact with me, or follow me just to send an ask that I boost your posts. I notice, and I'll end up just blocking you if you make me feel "used." It's gross, y'all. I'm glad to help, but don't use me. It's getting to a point where I'm starting to feel pretty gross about it, and I'm one of the more relaxed ppl about boosting posts, so please don't put me in a position where I feel like I have to stop doing it.

I will not debate my identity or its history with anyone. I am a transmasculine non-binary butch lesbian, a cripple, a dyke, and lots of other things, too. You don't get a vote in that, and if any of those words are words you can't stand to have someone use around you in reference to himself, go ahead and block me. I won't censor my identity for your comfort; I took a long time becoming proud of who I am.

No, I am not an anti or an anti-anti. Literally no one cares about these distinctions outside of Tumblr. Please leave me alone. I am not going to have that conversation. No is a complete sentence.

I’m not interested in interacting with TWERFs, SWERFs, or any sort of exclusionary LGBTQ/queer people. Y'all are exhausting.

Do the work to root out TERF/2nd-wave "man bad woman good" philosophies from your head. Do the work to root out the gendered behavior you were taught. I am not here to raise other people's children.

I am not here to raise other people's children. My daughter is an adult and I am done being responsible for the experiences of a minor. If you read or interact with me, you acknowledge that you chose to do that and I can't control what happens to what I post once I post it on my Tumblr. People will reblog it and I can't control where it ends up. I can only control what I say in my space, which I do.

Curate your own online experiences. If you don't like seeing what I write, then add 'vaspider' to your "filtered content" list and don't bother me about it. Tumblr is a 17+ environment and I am not responsible for you seeing things you don't like. Adults having adult conversations do not need to be filtered for children. This is your notification.

I’ve been Out for over 30 years. I don't tolerate lectures from strangers, especially people half my age, about history I lived through.

I'm transmasc and if you believe transmisandry/transandrophobia aren't "real things," or that transmascs aren't "really oppressed," please just leave me alone. Oppression Olympics are bad, actually.

My immediate family consists of my partners, my adult daughter, and our dogs.

No one in my immediate family is cis or het. I have been called Spider for 20+ years, & now a lot of people call me Mama Spider. Mom is a role, it need not be gendered.

This is a lot shorter than it used to be. I don't really feel like posting paragraphs explaining stuff anymore.

My icon has lore, apparently.

I post all asks and anon is never turned on.

[biceratops7]

So here’s the thing,

Being visibly queer to the point of ostracism is historically synonymous with gender nonconformity and I don’t think that’s a conversation some are ready to have.

Gender nonconformity as it pertains to Stede is a hot button topic of debate in the fandom rn, and I love that! So much! Queer theory shit is in right now? Sign me tf up! But I see a lot of posts answering “no” to “does Stede wear feminine clothing?” as if it’s the same question. It’s also being talked about as a binary “to be” or “not to be” as if gender nonconformity is not a concept experienced on a spectrum.

Even if Stede’s clothing can be considered reasonably “masculine” with all the anachronisms, picking flowers, not being able to stomach a “man’s” job, and wearing robes that cause other characters to misgender him are harder sells. The number one thing I see the “Stede is NOT gnc” side say is that these things are only associated with femininity if you’re seeing them from a stereotypical lense. And well… yah. Gender nonconformity is a social construct. That’s what a social construct is. Enjoying bright colors, preferring non-confrontational solutions, wearing a skirt, having long hair, these are all things that are not biologically innate to women. They’re extra characteristics our society uses to construct the idea of a woman. That’s also why gender nonconformity hinges on the cultural context as well. Different societies, different rules.

In order to understand where people are coming from when they say Stede is gnc and use the queerphobia he experiences as evidence, you have to look at the metaphysics. What is homophobia in its original form? What is it made of? I’d argue it’s purest components are the fear that the divides between men and women will break down. It’s considered “an abomination” because sleeping with a man is seen as the natural duty of a woman, and for women, sleeping with a man. Beyond that, all of the baggage that comes with those extra characteristics I mentioned follows suit. Lesbians were by and large excluded from womanhood, in some points of history specifically bottoming was illegal because it was “placing yourself in a woman’s position”, etc.

And that’s not to say masc gay men don’t experience homophobia, they absolutely do. I’m just saying if Stede is experiencing specifically the same bigotry as non-passing queer people do in the form of being excluded from his own gender and even from others in his group, then I don’t think he’s one of those men.

Honestly a thousand kudos to @eluciferate for already bringing Albert from “The Birdcage” to the conversation. Cause he really is the perfect example of not only gender nonconformity beyond the literal surface, but the fact that for many it’s a state of being rather than a conscious choice of queer empowerment. When Albert’s son brings home a girl with very conservative parents, and Albert attempts to “play straight” for his sake… he can’t do it. Even in ultra masculine clothes and trying his best, the nonconformity shines through like toes poking out of old shoes.

Fuck, Stede wasn’t kidding when he said he was “uncomfortable in a married state”. Even the way he carries himself back home looks carefully minded, like his whole life is a play he was horribly miscast for. In other words sometimes you didn’t purposely decide to stick it to the heteronormative man. Sometimes with great gayness comes great responsibility and that’s that.

Jokes aside, we can nickel and dime all his frilly little affects all we want, but at the end of the day Stede is gender nonconforming in a way that goes beyond aesthetic. And I think a lot of people may be hesitant to read him this way because it requires you to acknowledge homophobia in the show, that Stede’s queerness is commented on and something he actively has to mind before even knowing what it is.

#our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #gnc #gender nonconformity #queer theory #meta #analysis #1x04 #1x08 #1x01 #the birdcage #biceratops

[spiralingemptyness]

Lin kuei hc

working on art but in the meantime take this

bi-han does care bout his sibling but doesn’t know how to show it

He would protect his siblings when he was younger as much as he could and continued to do so, he just lost touch with reality and most emotions

Bi han also went thru tougher training than the others cause his role and didn’t spend a lot of time around them

After Tomas’s family was killed, he fell into a heavy depressive state, he locked himself in a room and wouldn’t take care of himself 

Bi han and kuai liang both helped Tomas get back on his feet after his family was destroyed

Bi Han (and Kuai’s) mom taught him how to braid his hair and he often wore it in a braid until his mom died

Bi Han views Tomas as a brother but will never acknowledge it… man has a shit load of issues (let me be delusional)

Sareena is one of the only people who can  and will put bi han in his place and it’s funny to witness (this man afterwards isn’t even mad he’s just shocked)

Tomas and Kuai were pretty much inseparable growing up (it used to be the three of them but then training started so it dwindled down to two)

Tomas Chinese sucks, so they mostly conversed in English (only Kuai learned enough Czech to communicate with him)

Tomas can pick up both his brothers, this man has bicep muscles for fucking days (it absolutely confuses and scares both of them)

Post-betrayl Kuai would hardly sleep and when Tomas found out he would just chill with him until he fell asleep

Harumi is a childhood friend, I’m assuming they met during a long mission in Japan and kept in touch afterwards

First time Harumi met/saw (post-betrayal) Bi han she did not hesitate to threaten to cut his dick off, Bi han was shocked and Kuai fell more in love

Sibling trait shared between Bi han and Kuai, Taste in women: strong and powerful and can probably kick their ass. Taste in men: questionable (more so Bi han than Kuai)

Tomas has a more brutal killing style (just look at the fatalities) because he grew up trying to fit in and be enough for the Lin kuei

Only reason Tomas likes the Lin kuei is because of the kindness Kuai Liang (and a bit of Cyrax) showed him

Every time Tomas does smth that pisses Bi han off, bi han would reply with smth along the lines of “goddamn Europeans and their goddamn tea”

Both Madam Bo and Liu Kang helped train the Lin kuei brothers (and madam Bo become a parental figure)

If Tomas gets flustered of embarrassed smoke will just start appearing

Bi han has permanent frost bite on his skin, issues of being a cyromancer

tomas and kuai liang still hang out with the champion gang, still going to madam Bo’s tea shop

johnny still harasses Kuai about being in his movies, Kuai still turns him down

sektor is a huuuyuge tech and mechanics nerd, he’s good with computers, and can take things apart and put it back together without trying

i kinda feel like giving with gender fluid or non binary cyrax because in mk9-11 cyrax was a guy or robot and now cyrax is a women….. so fuck gender honestly

whenever they use their magic fucking power things (idfk what it’s called) they’re eyes change color, Bi Han’s turn blue, Kuai liang’s turn yellow/orange, and Tomas’s turn either darker grey/black or grey/yellow combo (I say that cause enenra and mkx stuff 🤷🤷🤷)

#mortal kombat #mk1 #lin kuei #tomas vrbada #kuai liang #bi han #harumi shirai #sareena #bireena #cyrax #sektor #johnny cage #liu kang #madam bo #fuck tags #and everyone is traumatized #including me

[spacelazarwolf]

ngl i fucking hate most conversations around “socialization” bc there’s like three ways it goes: 1. they assert that all trans people were socialized as whatever gender they were assigned at birth with no nuance or exception, 2. they assert that all trans people were socialized as whatever binary gender they most closely relate to, or 3. they assert that all trans people were “socialized trans.” and like. idk how to get it through y’all’s heads that socialization is a wildly fickle and individual experience.

i am autistic. i am also a trans man. i was socialized female. the mask i developed, the social rules i was given to follow, they were for women. the way i learned to speak, to interact with others, the way my life was supposed to go, it was based on how a woman should sound, should look, should feel, should act, should live. i didn’t realize i was some flavor of trans until i was in my mid 20’s, and didn’t realize i was a trans man until i was 28. i’m only 7 months on t and still do not pass. there is literally no planet on which i was “socialized male.” i was also not “socialized trans” because i didn’t even know being trans was an option until well into adulthood. i was given no other option than to conform to gender norms, so i didn’t spend my youth and teen years being bullied for being gender non conforming because i quite literally was just not allowed to be gender non conforming. when people insist i wasn’t socialized female, it erases the trauma i experienced from growing up with such strict gender roles, it ignores the fact that i have had to put in active effort as an autistic adult to start the process of unmasking (which is exhausting and traumatizing) before i can even begin to learn a “male mask” that will be safer in public if i start to pass. it ignores everything about my individual life and boils me down to my genitals, which i could have sworn we didn’t like when ppl did.

does that mean that everyone’s experience has to be exactly like mine? fuck no. there are plenty of trans people who come out very young and do get to grow up presenting as their actual gender and therefore are “socialized” as that gender. there are plenty of trans people who have always been gender non conforming and therefore experienced a lot of backlash that gender conforming cis people of the same assigned gender at birth wouldn’t have. there are as many trans experiences as there are trans people. and this doesn’t even begin to take into account things like race or ethnicity or fatness (hoo boy did that affect gender shit for me) or disability or any other kinds of intersections of identity.

basically, we have got to stop acting like there is a way to determine what a trans person’s experience has been based on nothing but their assigned gender at birth or gender identity.

#gender studies

[artoatsblog]

What your favorite Nick toon says about you but it's EVERY Nick toon

Doug- When you were asked what you wanted for Christmas, you said "plan white bread."

Rugrats- You're a "90's kid" who wants the modern cartoon enjoyers to get off your lawn.

Hey Arnold-Same as Rugrats, but 5 time worse.

Rugrats (2021)- You only said this one to piss off the above two.

Ren & Stimpy- You're a gay man and all you OCs are ugly men who you need to kiss each other or else you'll die (This isn't an insult, you're the strongest member of our society.)

Rocko's modern life- You relate to at least one character way more than you would like to admit to others.

CatDog- Weird furry.

The angry beavers- Weird furry with taste.

Aaahh!!! Real monsters- You like the idea of Tim Burton's movies but your too cool to actually enjoy them, also your probably non-binary.

Kablam- As a kid you wanted to make something with this exact energy and now, you're a youtuber.

Oh Yeah! Cartoons- same as Kablam but you really miss Cosmo's old voice.

The wild Thornberry's- You worship the ground Tim Curry's walks on SO BAD.

Rocket power- Honest 90's kid.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 1-4- You're annoying about seasons 5+.

SpongeBob SquarePants seasons 5+- You know better than me about those people being annoying about seasons 5+.

As told by ginger- You were going to say Hey Arnold, but you didn't want to be lumped in with certain other people.

Action league now- You made at least five short films that look exactly like this.

Chalkzone- Your playlist for working out has the theme song for this show looped for five hours and nothing else.

The fairly oddparents- Your trans, and you hate no other person more than Elmer Hartman.

Invader Zim- You were a vary emo kid/teenager in the late 2000's (same, no shade)

Jimmy Neutron- you're really glad that that you picked the show in "Jimmy Timmy power hour" that wasn't made by an asshole.

All grown up- Come on guys "As told by ginger" is right there.

Avatar: the last airbender- I don't want to hear the lore of the fantasy book you wrote.

Avatar: the legend of Korra- Same as atla but You also made a LOT of shipping fanfics.

My life as a teenage robot- Transfem.

The X's- You don't exist, if you're going to go into the comments and say this is your favorite Nicktoon, you're lying.

El Tigre- This is just the good version of Danny Phantom.

Danny Phantom- That was a Joke don't yell at me.

Mr. meaty- You want this odd but cool type of puppetry to come back (if you thought I was going to make fun of this one your wrong.)

Tak and the power of Juju- Your enjoyment of this show is based entirely on the fact that you liked the games.

Back at the barnyard- Shitposter.

Fanboy and Chum Chum- Shitposter but awesome.

Catscratch- Yeah, I think Wayne Knight's voice is hot too.

The mighty B- Gay.

The penguins of Madagascar- I don't have a joke for this one I just think you have impactable taste.

Planet Sheen- You always wanted Jimmy Neutron to have more "Rawr XD" swag.

T.U.F.F puppy- You ether are Jerry Trainor, or you have a Jerry Trainor stan account.

Kung fu panda: legends of awesomeness- You have a three-hour lore video on this franchise, and I hope it does well.

Winx club- You wanted to help them get free from Netflix.

Robot and Monster- It may just be me, but I think you might enjoy Dan vs.

Teenage mutant ninja turtles (2012)- You don't like rise of the tmnt.

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles- You don't like tmnt (2012).

Sanjay and Craig- You used to freak other kids out with your scabs.

Monsters vs aliens- You can deny Coverton's rizz (sorry).

Breadwinners- Your about to go into every cartoon reviewers house with a shit ton of water balloons.

Harvey Beaks- In the middle/late 2000's you were more of a cartoon network kid, you loved Cowder.

Pig, Goat, Banana, Cricket- Same as Harvey Beaks but with Flapjack instead of Cowder.

Bunsen is a beast- Your Elmer Hartman.

Welcome to the Wayne- You wrote at least one fanfic for the ending of this show.

The adventures of kid danger- We don't talk about this one.

Middle school Moguls- it's ok monster high is about to come to Nick for real.

The loud house- Your ether a sapphic girl or a straight guy with a DeviantArt account who needs to be punished.

The Casagrandes- Same as the loud house but with the added advantages, because if you have a DeviantArt account in this one you're more likely to have a normal relationship with your family.

It's pony- You don't hate the British as much as the rest of us.

Middlemost post- John trabbic III is such a bad ass name though, wait this show has Del the funky homosapien and Tony Hawk as guest stars, I might need to which this.

Star trek: prodigy- You really like Netflix original animated shows don't you.

Big Nate- You haven't read the books.

Monster high- You the perfect in-between of goth and prep.

Transformers: earthspark- Why does this show have better non-binary rep than most other shows...I mean they are called Transformers for a reason.

#nickelodeon #nicktoons #Doug #ren and stimpy #rugrats #hey arnold #rocket power #rocko's modern life #catdog #the loud house #the casagrandes #the angry beavers #aaahh!!! real monsters #kablam #oh yeah cartoons #the wild thornberrys #spongebon squarepants #as told by ginger #action league now #chalkzone #the fairly oddparents #invader zim #jimmy neutron #all grown up #avatar #the last airbender #the legend of korra #mlaatr #the x's #el tigre

[otakusheep15]

My (possibly controversial) Twisted Wonderland Opinions

I see a lot of these on TikTok and such, so I wanted to make my own. Remember that these are all my own personal opinions, and I do not claim that any of these are canon or factually correct. If you don't agree, that's fine, just remember to be respectful.

Just as a fair warning, most of this is me being pissed off at the fandom for how it treats certain characters/players, so if that might offend you, I'd suggest scrolling past this one.

The fandom as a whole really tends to mischaracterize Kalim and I'm pretty sick of it. He's actually a very intelligent character with a deep, tragic backstory. Kalim is not your "small cinnamon roll" or "precious baby," he is a teenage boy with serious mental issues. The only reason he is so kind and bubbly is because he wants people to like him. If people like him, they have less reason to try and kill him. That is why he tries to be so nice. It is for his own personal safety. It's the same reason as to why he tries to salvage his relationship with Jamil so hard. Yes, he does still care about Jamil, but Kalim is fully aware that Jamil is the most trustworthy person in his life, and without him, Kalim could be put in serious danger. Kalim is a good person, but he is also very selfish, and does things so that people will like him more, and I'm tired of the fandom pretending like he's some innocent cinnamon roll when he's much deeper than that.

The way this fandom treats male/non-binary players is honestly so horrible, especially when Yuuka was first introduced. I have seen countless posts of female players being rude and disrespectful towards non-female players simply because they were hoping for a non-female protagonist in the anime and mangas. It's annoying and disrespectful, and I wish we could all stop fighting and just enjoy the game without the negativity. Not every female player is like this, but I see it enough that it needs to be called out.

I need certain members of this fandom to realize that most of these boys are minors. The majority of the main cast are 16-17, and only a few of the students are 18+. It feels like so many people in this fandom forget how young some of these characters are, and it shows in the way said characters are treated. It feels especially weird when I see people in their 20s and up simping after the first years, who are all 16. I don't really mind people who age them up for things like fanfics, but it's still kind of creepy to see.

Rook has been such a creep in this game since he was introduced, and people still treat it like it's a non-issue. He has such a track record of stalking students, being weird or creepy towards them, and making unnecessary comments. There was even a side story where he body shamed Vil because he put on a little extra weight. This man is not a good man, and more people need to realize that his behaviors are not okay and they are not justified, especially when several other characters have mentioned how freaked out they are because of him.

Many of the characters in this game have severe levels of depression, but the fandom still shits on them despite this. Leona and Idia are two good examples of this. People are constantly hating on Leona because he's rude or lazy, but most of his personality shows clear signs of depression. It's canon that he was neglected for pretty much his whole life, and, after a while, he just gave up on trying since no one cared. This is clearly depression, and yet the fandom treats it like this was all his own choice, which is annoying. Same with Idia: he's very clearly depressed and still struggles with Ortho's death, yet the fandom continues to make fun of him and bully him for it, and it pisses me off. What makes it worse is that the same people idolize other characters like Cater, who also shows signs of depression. They love him and can clearly see his signs just fine, yet they choose to ignore it in other characters.

And that's all I have for now. If I think of any more, I'll either add to this one or make a part two, whichever I feel like in the moment. If you were offended by any of this, I apologize (but you're probably someone who needed to hear this anyways). If you disagree with any of this or want to share your own opinions, feel free to (politely) do so in the comments or tags, and I will gladly read them all. Any rude behavior will be deleted and blocked immediately, so don't try that shit with me.

#twisted wonderland #twst #kalim al asim #yuuka twst #jamil viper #twst first years #rook hunt #cater diamond #idia shroud #leona kingscholar #twst opinions #hot takes

[trans-wojak]

I swear to fucking god, do people even listen to themselves these days? Another stupid girl posting on Facebook that she’s supposedly “agender” but ain’t ever going to inform her parents about her precious gender identity because they won’t understand. That she will die without them ever knowing.

Do you know how privileged that is? Literally, your parents won’t even give a fuck. Why? Because you aren’t actually going to transition. Do you know what happens to ACTUAL transsexuals? We get kicked out of home, we get abused, our parents disown us. I was NOT put in conversion therapy and pushed back into the closet for fucking 9 years then made homeless just so some stupid girls can think “oh but I don’t feel like a girl, I’m fine with my sex tho” is on the same level as me.

My parents originally fucking were horrible to me, they put me in conversion therapy and you what that lead to? Me having such low self esteem that I believed being abused was normal, so normal that I got into a domestic violent relationship that lasted for 9 years. Conversion therapy actively encourages you to consider suicide as an option if you can’t live as your assigned sex. They break down your spirit, they basically try to convince you that you’re delusional. Leaving him meant I was left with NOTHING but not only that, I had already started testosterone and the changes were beginning to get too obvious for my dad to ignore. He literally made me homeless cause he refused to have me live with him until I could get my own place. Because now I wasn’t just looking like a dyke, I was now showing signs of true transsexuality.

Both my parents are better now, they have a lot of regret about treating me so poorly over my gender dysphoria - but they are not perfect. My mum will still run away and hide from people who knew me prior to my transition if I’m with her because she doesn’t want to defend me if they are nasty when they realise it’s [deadname] as a man now. My dad still uses she/her pronouns for me even though it makes people think he has dementia lol. He constantly thinks I’m going to kill myself because I will eventually regret my transition. He also thinks everyone can always tell that I’m trans even though I’m stealth in real life. He lets it slip that he thinks I will never find a partner, constantly tells my mum that he wishes I “just stayed as a lesbian butch woman**”. My mum thinks [deadname] and Mike are two different people, she thinks she lost a daughter, but gained a son even though I am the same person. She has said before that I killed her first daughter when we have arguments.

I am so sick of this non binary craze bullshit. Y’all don’t understand that transsexuals do not get the same benefits you do, you can hide being “trans.” You can put on your they/them pins at LGBTIBBQ meet ups but take them off to go back to your cis life. I cannot. My life is forever shaped by this bullshit, I am struggling so hard to change my name legally so EVERY TIME I do anything that requires that nonsense - people treat me like fucking shit. Cause they see a bloke in front of them but a legal female name, they know. Nurses are absolute trash to me if I ever go to the hospital because of my legal name. They use he/him until they see the paper work then do a condescending smile and use my deadname, she/her etc. Its rare that I have a decent nurse or doctor who ACTUALLY continues to treat me correctly.

Your non binary identity is based all on fucking sexist gender roles and without those, you wouldn’t have an identity. Mine is based on the fact my brain sex is male but my body was born female and I’m actively changing that to male.

We are not the same.

#personal #rant post #anti mogai #lgbt exclu #transmed #d slur mention

[positivelybeastly]

How do you feel about X-Men '97 coming back?

"Quite the meritorious happenstance, don't you think? One might have thought our tale lost to the annals of history, a dusty page in a tome left up on a shelf to be only occasionally perused as a curiosity or in a pique of nostalgia . . .

But it is not to be so!"

"As Tennyson himself said, "Cannon to right of them, cannon to left of them, cannon in front of them, volleyed and thundered; stormed at with shot and shell, boldly they rode and well, the X-Men.'

. . . Paraphrasing, of course."

I am incredibly excited.

Now, that's not to say that there aren't issues already - this is very much a nostalgia driven series, aimed pretty much precisely at me and my generation, and if I'm objective about it, I would have preferred it if X-Men: Evolution had come back instead. In terms of long form storytelling and character development, it was just better than the 90s show.

There's also some iffiness going on with Sunspot, who's joined the main cast - I believe his skin tone is incorrect, which is a common problem with a lot of Latino and Afro-Brazilian characters in comic books to this day, and given that they've made the cool choice to make Morph non-binary, I would've figured they'd want to depict Sunspot as accurately as possible?

That being said.

It just looks fucking good, man. Ray Chase is doing an amazing job of channelling the original Cyclops actor, who is no longer with us; the animation still feels very much in keeping with the original show, while still looking a MILLION TIMES BETTER (I completed a rewatch of the show not long ago, and hoo boy does season 5 especially look really rough); and after so many years of Krakoa comics, there's something to be said for going back to basics.

Is it a reversion? Yeah, a little bit. But I like my X-Men to be warm, and a family, and friends, and to play baseball and basketball, and not to all fucking hate each other, so sue me, I'll accept a step back for the story if it means I get the characterisations I prefer back.

Besides, the comics still exist for people who want the Krakoan stuff, so a bit of more original flavour X-Men for those of us who don't want our mutants to be living in various kinds of dystopia won't hurt anybody.

This also gives the show runners an opportunity to fix some of the issues the original show had, like a much more weakly written Jean and Jubilee than they ever were in the comics, and a chance to adapt some storylines that have NEVER been adapted before, like Inferno. I'm optimistic!

And, selfishly? Between the Marvels, X-Men '97, and what's currently going on in X-Force, I'm just ready for Beast to be written well again. I'm really hoping that he gets some good dialogue, a fun fight scene, maybe even a focus episode this season, but so long as he isn't doing some abominable shit, then I'll happily take it.

Maybe that makes me fickle or easy to please? Guilty as charged, then. I'll happily be easily pleased, because it means I'm fucking happy with what I get. :P

I don't know if I'll have a '97 verse? I can already tell you it'd be verse: hated and feared, but there's not a lot that's substantially different about TAS Hank to how he was in the 90s. That being said, I'm DEFINITELY going to try and get my hands on as many caps as possible - as you can already see, the lad looks so handsome!

#straysomethinginthewoods #verse: earth's mightiest! #outofmuffins #gif warning

[femalefern]

After well over a decade on tumblr I guess it was time to make a terf sideblog, lol

I am a lesbian who was involved in the queer/trans community in my city for about a decade and entered into a serious (unfulfilling, primarily but not entirely sexless) long-term relationship with a trans woman (fully and blindly accepting that trans women are women, fully denying my own desires out of a need for love and acceptance). Years later, I am dealing with shame and regret now that I realize how much I let myself get brainwashed and robbed of my own sexuality. The person I dated wasn’t this evil manipulator, no one was forcing me to be there, but I still feel violated, still feel like I was deeply manipulated by a lot of the queer/trans stuff in my 20s that led me into this situation that I thankfully got myself out of. Even before I got out, I was growing skeptical of the cult-like way the queer groups ran my city (a fairly small but very liberal university town). I dared to speak up against a community organizer and was severely cancelled in 2014 before canceling was really a thing. My ex and I were both anti “sex work” and we ended up being harassed in the streets and had our apartment vandalized for helping someone avoid resorting to entering the industry. My relationship thankfully ended with Covid, but not before I had what I can only describe as a mental breakdown complete with my first manic episode that lost me my job, stability, and a lot of friends, and earned me several diagnoses. Luckily with Covid, I got away from any opportunity for in person social events and rediscovered fandom and non-queer lesbians online, which really saved me. Getting into the queer/trans community in my city was a mistake, there’s no other way to put it. As a teenager I didn’t have any great confusion about being a lesbian once I had my big realization, but a severe confusion developed as an adult. It was easy as a kid to figure out and somewhat easy to accept that I only liked women, and came out to various people when I was around 16. And then from like age 18 until Covid, I guess you could say I slowly but surely completely indoctrinated myself, completely and thoroughly went all in, with a lot of help from other people. 

This started I guess with the university lesbians around me telling me they’re queer because gender isn’t binary, which in 2010 was a pretty foreign concept to me, and the underlying message was that queerness was the morally and intellectually superior sexuality to lesbianism (so of course I fairly quickly called myself queer too because if not it was clear I was dumb and didn’t Get It.)

Next came my attraction to and dating a (now identifying) trans man, who began testosterone at the end of the relationship and insisted that being attracted to him meant I wasn’t a lesbian at all, but that I had to be bi/pan, which I did accept with some passive agreement.

Finally, there was a trans woman, who knew and validated I was really a lesbian (as long as I returned that validation), and pursued me (somewhat aggressively) in a way no one had before. But I was seeking any sort of validation and acceptance by this point, since I dealt with a lot of rejection and abandonment, both friend and relationship wise in my 20s. Out of so much detachment and confusion and now deep depression, (I think I also considered myself asexual for a time, as well as nonbinary of course), I went with it. It was serious, we planned on having kids together some day, I was miserable by the end. But I was so comfortable in my misery that I wanted it to continue, afraid of change, until my mental breakdown blew everything up and this person had the sense to end it for me, and I am thankful for that. 

It didn’t help that of all the lgbt people I know, I barely knew a single lesbian. Ultimately, bi people, gay men, and trans people will always greatly outnumber us. Not to mention I spent a huge amount of time studying this shit in grad school. A wasted education, lol (I am happily self employed now though, so it all works out.)

Today, for the first time in my almost 30 years, I am dating an actual lesbian, and it’s only with that and some distance from my past and all my processing that I can really understand how unhappy my life was and how detached I was from my sexuality. 

Despite coming out as a teenager, I find myself resonating more with late bloomer lesbians who only find their happiness after years of denying themselves and focusing on men. I wish I could find people who went through the same experience as me because I am still processing my mistakes years later. I don't want judgement or sympathy but I wish I could talk about this with someone who gets it. Please feel free to reach out if any of these resonated with you. 

tl;dr: lesbians DO get coerced into dating trans women, the queer/trans community fucked me up a bit (a lot), but i’m happier now 

#radblr #radfem #radical feminism #idk what tags to use because it's not a strictly radfem issue but I feel like I am most likely to find people under those tags #gender critical

[ordinaryschmuck]

Quick Thoughts on the first two episodes of X-Men '97

Quick disclaimer: I wasn't a fan of the original series from the nineties. I watched all five seasons in preparation for this show and for reasons I can't explain, it just never grabbed me. When I hear people talk about how it's one of the best X-Men shows and even one of the best superhero animated shows out there, on top of Batman: The Animated Series or Spectacular Spider-Man, I was...not as into it as others were. But I was willing to keep an open mind about the revival. I like the X-Men as much as your average Marvel fan who's favorite superhero is Spider-Man could. Plus, my perspective offers a good question: Does this show offer anything of value if you're not a fan of the original series? And the answer is...Yeah, it absolutely frickin' does.

THIS was more along the lines of the show I was expecting when people talked about how great it is. A lot of what makes X-Men special is on top form here. The themes of prejudice, that anyone perceived as "other" can relate to, is on top display as the first villains we face in these two episodes are your average mutant hating humans who believe that humanity has it hard enough already without these mutants "whining" about their problems. Speaking of, the "crybabies" that humans hate share about how all they want is acceptance and the way they fear about the world judging them, their children, and the people they love. This is the bread and butter of every great X-Men story that helps makes it appealing to almost everyone. Yeah, it's cool to see mutants blow shit up as they fight aliens and robots and whatever, but if you claim the X-Men are now "too woke" because they made Morph non-binary, you haven't been paying close attention to what REALLY makes X-Men strong.

As for seeing these mutants blow shit up, you still get that in spades as the action in this show is TOP NOTCH. You got some goofy nonsense like Gambit powering up Wolverine's claws or Beast controlling a Sentinel from the inside, but also some really cool uses of everyone's powers and seeing them work as a team. I knew that the show was doing something right when they made CYCLOPS look cool. That is a very hard feat to accomplish as the first thought that comes to mind with any writer is that all Cyclops can do is shoot a laser beam. Yeah, that's what he does here too, but he's also punching and kicking people like a professional MMA fighter, using his blasts to amplify his attacks rather than being his ONLY attack. You love to see it and makes ME excited for what other kickass action we'll get in the future, because the animation is ALSO really good. It's stilted and choppy during scenes of dialogue, but it's dialogue. You don't NEED to have outstanding animation when all characters are doing is talking. The good stuff is saved for the fight scenes or for moments that just need to look a LOT more epic than they need to, and I appreciate that decision.

Another thing that's stronger is the "Soap Opera" aspect that I've heard people talk about with the original series. So many people claimed it was a soap opera for kids and...I'm going to be honest, I got that better with Gargoyles if anything else, but I feel like that aspect of the show is handled much better here. It's definitely NOT for kids, at least not for seven year olds like in the nineties. It's definitely more for OLDER kids as the series kept in mind that the target audience was going to be the adults who grew up watching this series instead of the new generation, and I feel like they're going to get a lot more than they wanted for a new series. You have Scott and Jean having a baby, Magneto leading the team, a certain person LEAVING the team, and a mind-shattering twist that leaves you wondering what could possibly come next. This show, at its best, leaves you with CHILLS during these big, dramatic moments of characters sharing their heart and souls with another or when something Earth-shattering is happening. Magneto's speech to the UN and a new anti-mutant villain was the most engaged I've been with a Marvel property since Across the Spider-Verse, holding my attention for every second to the point where I barely remembered to breath. When it was all over, I genuinely wanted there to be more.

So this revival is definitely good for someone like me who wasn't into the original series...but what about those who WERE fans? Honestly, I'm not sure how they'll feel. Almost everything seems like an improvement, but it's definitely NOT the same as the original. The animation's crisper and the writing lacks the nineties' camp for a more modern feel. It takes place almost a year after Charles Xaiver's "death," but the characters speak in a way that lacks that certain...way, you know? I like it, but will fans of the original accept it?

Plus, there are some new things that I'm not sure if X-Men fans in general are going to love. There's this weird...thing between Rogue and Magneto that feels icky and I REALLY hope they don't go there. And, without spoilers, there's this...THING that happens to Storm and it BETTER NOT be permanent. It makes sense for the story and you FEEL the weight of the drama that this moment brings, but she is too cool of a character that has this done to her. Couldn't they have done this to Morph instead? They were already screwed over in the original series, they can be screwed over again!

Overall, I'd say that X-Men '97, from these two episodes, is a good restart for this show. It brings back what fans of the original loved and improves upon it to make it more the show they idolized as kids. At least, that's my takeaway. I'm just glad to have some good X-Men content again outside of comics.

#x men 97 #x men #marvel #marvel animation #quick thoughts #what i thought about

[skullamity]

I saw a non-binary person on twitter applauding another tweet about how a lot of cis people really just sometimes label trans masc and afab nonbinary people as femme-presenting and then get angry at those people for not presenting "properly" when they ask not to be misgendered (to be crystal clear, this is something I do see happen, and also applaud this person for saying), but the way they applauded it was amazingly frustrating.

Without including a screencap or the exact wording because I don't want anyone hunting this down and harassing them, their response was, to paraphrase:

"femme presenting does not equal everyone impacted by misogyny."

Now, I didn't respond there because twitter is hell on digital Earth and I don't want my mentions filled with garbage for the next week for weighing in, but I'm comfortable expanding on why this statement is bullshit here. There's a whole other conversation to be had about how a lot of afab trans masc and non-binary people are complicit in silencing our own by pushing this sort of statement, but people more articulate than I am have said plenty on that and I'll leave it to them.

No, what I take issue with is the idea that there is a single person on this goddamn planet who isn't impacted by misogyny. Let's break it down, nice and easy.

MISOGYNY AFFECTS:

1) Cisgender women and girls. Takes the form of cat calling, infantilization, systemic discrimination in the workplace and a disparity of social and economic advantages afforded to cisgender men, high rates of violence against them, high rates of medical neglect, social conditioning that pushes them out of STEM career and education paths either because it's been drilled into them that these are not jobs for women OR because they made a go of it and felt unsafe, underutilized, passed over for promotion in favour of less qualified male peers, and so on.

2) transgender and amab non-binary people. Trans women who pass (note, I do not think passing is important or required to be respected in our identities, so if you're reading this and transmed, fuck all the way off) are treated of all of the above, unless they are openly trans or outed to peers who thought they were cis, in which case this treatment is conditional.

Being outed or not passing doesn't make the above go away, but it adds in shitty bonus features like the possibility of being confronted/attacked/harmed/killed publicly just for existing as trans in public, denial of housing, chronic unemployment (especially in states where you can be fired at will with no reason given as to why), loss of insurance and high rates of homelessness. On top of that, non-binary people often intentionally do not pass, or incidentally are mistaken for male or female. They are misgendered in almost all situations abs are subject to all of the above.

3) transgender men and afab non-binary people. This one is apparently a really controversial take to have these days, but as a trans man who passes and transitioned later in life, passing means jack shit if and when people know that I am trans. If people don't know I'm trans, their acceptance of me is tenuous at best and entirely conditional.

This is a problem for me personally because I a) refuse to pack the first 30 years of my existence in a box and lie about it to impress strangers. All of those formative experiences that are supposed to really affirm womanhood? Tried 'em. Yes, ALL of them. Even the one that transmasc transmeds will swear up and down that if you do them, you are not really trans. You know the one (it's pregnancy if that's not clear!).

I will not pack that away for the comfort of others. I am who I am because of those experiences, not in spite of them. But even if I did choose to pack all that away and keep it secret for the sake of seeming cis to new people, I still have a big 'ol target on my back because I am married to a cis dude. We're both bisexual, but that nuance means nothing to cis dudes for whom the existence of gay people where they can see them is emasculating by proximity. And how do cis dudes treat people, including other cis dudes, who aren't performing masculinity properly? With misogyny.

Cis dudes will treat gay and bi men, efeminate men, men with voices, mannerisms and style outside of a specific masculine archetype, like women. More specifically, women who deserve to be punished for being "that way." That misogyny isn't misdirected, a term I frequently see people throwing around to push back against the idea that afab trans men and non-binary people who have gone on testosterone or gotten top surgery or both are affected by misogyny specifically. It is directed exactly where it is meant to be directed, for all the reasons above and more.

On top of all that, the second someone (including doctors!) knows I'm trans, if they're not chill about it I can expect them to immediately start treating me like a delusional woman who has been tricked into transitioning and couldn't possibly have the agency required to make the decisions I have about my own body. Which is, again, textbook misogyny.

Anyhow, all of these things? If I were to go stealth to avoid them, it wouldn't be a privilege because, again, these things are conditional on remaining steal and honestly I didn't step out of one closet to baracade myself into another. If you have to hide your past and who you really are 24/7, that is not a privilege. The meager bonuses of having strangers think you're cishet are nothing compared to the detriment that living a double life, always in terror that someone will find out and tell everyone, causes. Trans men have worse outcomes with mental health than anyone, currently, and this is part of why.

4) Cisgender men who are visible minorities. Cisgender men with disabilities, who aren't white, who are fat or neuroatypical, or are gay or bi? Being treated "like a man" has conditions that they are either already outside of because of immutable characteristics OR is conditional based on whether they force themselves to conform and tow the line by reinforcing the "conditions" of previously mentioned masculine archetypes.

and finally

5) Able-bodied, neurotypical, cisgender heterosexual white men. Yeah, you heard that correctly!

Cishet white dudes are absolutely affected by misogyny. Let us count the ways:

Cis men are taught from a young age that being "like a girl" or even just being a girl is undesirable, worthy of disgust and/or punishment. How many childhood taunts meant to embarrass, emasculate and keep male peers in line are along the lines of comparing boys to women or denying/revoking their masculinity?

You throw like a girl. You hit like a girl. You look like a girl. Boys don't cry. What are you, gay? You'd better not be gay. You're not a f****t, are you? No son of mine is gonna play with dolls. Why are you crying? Time to hand in your man card. Don't get your vagina in a twist. Why are you mad? You on your period? And on and on and on...

The blatant contempt for women in a lot of formative social interactions for boys between them and their peers and them and their male relatives genuinely makes cis men worse people unless they have the will and fortitude to unpack and unlearn all of this. And boy howdy do we make it hard for them to do that.

I have met grown men so emotionally constipated that they can only talk about their feelings to their significant others, who come to resent them because your significant other is not a substitute for therapy. We tell young boys to bottle their emotions up, and we reinforce this with mocking laughter and ostracization. Sometimes with physical violence. Their friendships with other adult men are superficial and lacking affection, and fall apart if they ever challenge any of this shit. Every word that leaves their mouths in social situations is macho bravado and desperate conformation because you need to be in the In Group. You don't want to be in the Out Group, do you?

So until they figure out (if they ever do figure out) that they have shit they need to unpack and unlearn, they let their own inner turmoil fester, and they take it out on women, men and other people who fail to hit the baseline for what a man is "supposed" to be. They make the people around them suffer, and they lash out. They will enforce masculinity on their male peers and treat the women in their life with patronization and contempt and maybe even violence, because who else are you going to aim at when every formative and ongoing bit of socialization you've experienced from the time you realized that there was a difference between boys and girls and how they are supposed to act, and the resounding message has been that girls and women = bad, and that being compared to either means you're failing at proper masculinity?

Yeah, cis men do a lot of harm to people who aren't cis men. They will also do a lot of harm to people who ARE cis men but aren't "doing it right," including their own sons, and the cycle perpetuates until someone decides to break it, usually at a pretty significant cost.

So yeah, cis men are absolutely affected by misogyny. They aim it at the expected groups, but also at each other as a form of controlling group dynamics and social hierarchy.

TL;DR- literally fucking everyone is affected by misogyny and has it levied at them to enforce conformity in one way or another, so could we please fucking stop attempting to classify different flavours of trans people as being affected by or exempt from misogyny? It isn't misdirected if the person hurling it at you means for it to affect you, harm you, control you and your expression or all of the above.

This is why, when we classify something as a hate crime or not on a legal level, the identity of the person who it was committed against is not relevant. Assaulting a straight cis man because you thought he was a cis gay man doesn't absolve the perpetrator of having committed a hate crime. If the intention was to commit a crime on the basis of gender identity or sexuality, the legal system agrees that this is a hate crime, even if the perpetrator was mistaken!

TME/TMA is not a functional way of discussing the different ways that misogyny affects all of us, and I would love for young afab trans people to please stop throwing us all under the bus by trying to insist that the misogyny levied at afab trans people somehow doesn't count. You're hurting the rest of us, but you're also hurting yourself and you should knock it the fuck off. It does not invalidate your masculinity to acknowledge that cis people, both men and women, are levying misogyny at us, because they levy it at other cis people (mostly cis people who are minorities in other ways) all the fucking time.

#transgender #transandrophobia #anti-transmasc #transmasc #I am begging you to aim all the effort you put in to making us smaller at calling out cis people/other transmascs who perpetuate this shit

[olderthannetfic]

I went down a rabbit hole on penis subincision, which lead to an edu article on sexual behavior in indigenous Hawaiian populations. (By Milton Diamond if you feel an urge to google). The article talked about how it was normal and even encouraged in a lot of these cultures for young people to engage in homosexual acts for the purpose exploring each other and simply having fun. This, in turn, reminded me of an assertion that Mark Thompson made in his book, Gay Spirit: Myth and Meaning...

--

....I’m not sure if you’ve read Thompson’s work but you posted passages from his book a while back. He compares the rejection a fixed gender identity and the phenomenon of "changing" to the archetypal definition of being a shaman, which is kind of fine. But then he goes on to claim that Diné (Navajo) people had a cross-dressing shamanic priesthood of gay people (the nadle) until white colonialism destroyed the tradition. Which, frankly, was a claim that I initially dismissed as...

…a gay white dude making things up until this whole subincision thing made me go look into it more closely. There are in fact many detailed articles on this. (They’re called Nádleehi, not nadle in these papers). So what I want to ask is if anyone knows exactly how common it was for LGBT+ to be accepted in non-colonial populations. Because I was under the impression that the consistent natural reaction to queerness in almost every human culture is to eradicate it.

Nonnie... WHUT?

YES, oh my god, a ton of cultures were okay with some form of something we would today see as queer.

YES, colonialism routinely wiped this out or at least tried to, and many of the places doing the colonizing also stamped out their own ancient traditions.

I don't recall that particular book or quoting it, but I post a lot.

It's not as clear-cut as total acceptance or acceptance of all forms of queerness. A common format is some kind of third gender role for nonconforming or trans or intersex people, often a combination of what we'd see today in the West as femme gay men and heterosexual trans women. Sometimes, this third gender had a specific social role, like shaman or entertainer. The modern split between gender identity and sexual orientation is not really how people saw it in a lot of past cultures (or, hell, in plenty of modern ones outside of the mainstream Western world).

When I was 14, I was fucking obsessed with this academic book of compiled journal articles called Third Sex, Third Gender: Beyond Sexual Dimorphism in Culture and History.

In terms of binary m/m interactions... uh... Ancient Greece is right there. Did you... miss that?

Historically, Japan was all about it being manly to fuck dudes because they didn't have girl cooties until the Meiji Restoration. Similarly to Ancient Greece, it was unmanly to take it up the ass as a grown man, but that's different from m/m sex in general being a problem. As with many societies outside of the mainstream West post... like... mid 19thC, m/m sex was seen as something you did, not something you were.

Medieval Europe would have kicked your ass for "sodomy", including oral with your spouse, which also falls under that term in that period, but they still wouldn't have thought a man was "gay" for fucking men. They'd have thought he was falling prey to a common sin that any man could potentially be tempted into. Sexual orientation is pretty much not a thing until after we get psychology as a science.

China got more homophobic over the dynasties. There was a time that the emperor's boyfriends were in the fucking history books along with his baby mamas. That's where we get the term "cut sleeve" from.

We don't tend to know what f/f stuff was going on in most times and places because most of the written record is men writing about their dicks.

Modern Thailand has all kinds of interesting things going on, and that whole region of SE Asia has had at points, though the more colonialism, the more local shit got suppressed. I can't speak to the total accuracy, but here's a wikipedia article on gender identities in Thailand.

Tibetan monasteries had abbots openly promoting their boyfriends. As long as you were doing it between the thighs and not touching icky girls, it was fine.

American Indian cultures are well known to have had fucktons of priesthoods/shamans of that type. It wasn't every group. Some were more prone to punishing gender nonconformity. AFAIK, a specific variant role for AMABs is more common than just letting people do whatever. In some, you could become a shaman, but they also tended to scapegoat the shamans in times of crisis. I'm no expert. I'd look up what modern two-spirit people have to say about their cultural traditions along with journal articles. The historical record is fragmentary and full of missionaries' unhelpful opinions.

Humans do often punish difference, but tons of cultures didn't see m/m sex or some specific form of third gender as anomalous. A ton probably didn't care about f/f sex, though it's harder to tell.

Gender conformity is often enforced... but why on earth would you assume most cultures only have 2 and that they map exactly onto our modern ideas of gender?

Seriously, nonnie, where have you been?