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stranger-who-writes-fiction · 3 years

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Gonna make full use of my ‘comic rant’ tag and roast Future State: Superwoman.

Spoilers! And yelling! Of the disgruntled kind!

So a few things at the start here: 1.) I wanted to love this book. I wanted it to be great. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt, in spite of some iffy stuff in the solicit text. So this rant is not coming from a place of having decided this was going to be awful ahead of time. 2.) My tolerance for bad Supergirl comics is pretty high! Takes a lot for me to actually come out and say that a particular issue is trash. Reader: This story is trash.

It’s not ‘middle-aged white guys writing/drawing a story about sending a minor to a potentially hostile planet fully nude’ trash, mind you. It’s the compost bin, rather than the landfill. Slightly nicer trash, but it still stinks to high heaven. Allow me to expand!

PROLOGUE - SUMMARY: ...I actually can’t summarize this comic b/c it would devolve into a lot of senseless yelling. We’ll just have to tease out this terrible plot as we go along.

PART I - DEAD DOGS TELL BAD TALES: The comic opens with Kara standing at Krypto’s grave. That’s not why this comic is trash, but it bears mentioning. Because why. Why would you do this.

PART II - IN WHICH IT ONLY GETS WORSE: So, Kara has a running inner monologue, and the main thing we gather from Kara’s thoughts is that it was Krypto who taught her to be a hero. On paper, that sounds very sweet! In practice, it reads as Kara having no moral center whatsoever—whatever good qualities she might possess, she did not learn from her parents, or her foster parents, or friends, or fellow heroes. Nor do they come from within Kara herself. Nope, t’was Krypto who taught Kara not to be a jealous rage monster. That is not hyperbole--Kara’s walking around angry about her cousin all the time and she’s like, ‘It was you, Krypto, who taught me not to judge, and to let go of anger.’ Listen, I love Krypto, but this? This is, as the youth would say, a bad look.

PART III - THOSE CERTAINLY ARE...SOME THEMES: The set-up here is that Kara is on the moon, and has established a sanctuary for alien refugees. That’s a dynamite idea! I love that! Buuuuut Kara didn’t look at the plight of alien refugees and say, ‘I want to help!’ Really, she didn’t even look at herself and say, ‘I don’t want others to feel like I’ve felt.’ No, she said, ‘Earth won’t accept me as a hero, and Clark didn’t name me protector of Earth, so. I’m out!’ (Honestly, if your moral compass is so whack that you need a dog to walk you back from Hulk-Smashing...can’t say I blame Clark for not picking you, Kara!) But apparently, the people on the moon don’t really like her either. And it is literally never explained why. There’s a whole montage of Kara fixing stuff and saving lives and all the moon folk just glare at her. This makes both the moon people AND Kara look like a**holes, because they come across as ungrateful, and she comes across as a glory hound. Thanks! I hate it! So the ‘peace’ Kara’s found on the moon isn’t really peaceful at all, cause she still resents her cousin, and people still don’t like her, in spite of the fact that she’s constantly performing acts of service for them.

Also, side note, I’m just now realizing this is an entire population of alien refugees...and Kara is somehow still the odd one out. Like, Earth I get, because everyone else is a human and maybe freaked out by the super powers. But a bunch of aliens? WHY. Why did you do this. Why did this need to be set on the moon with alien refugees if you’re not going to interrogate Kara’s identity as an alien refugee herself AND all of the aliens are inexplicably humanoid in appearance and utterly ordinary in terms of power levels.

Like. This is not the CW show, where they have a budget, and a huge ensemble cast to serve. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. AAARRRRRGHHHH.

PART III CONT’D: There’s also this weird ‘birthright’ element introduced...like, Clark and Jon stole Kara’s ‘right’ to be earth’s defender which is...a terrible reading of Kara’s modern origin. It brings in the idea that Kara is a ‘chosen one’ and because she didn’t get to be that chosen one, all of her hero work is for nothing. Never mind the whole central conceit of what makes Clark and Kara heroic...that they have this incredible power, and choose to do good with it. Nah...it’s all about her ‘right’ to protect the people of Earth! And mean ol’ Clark took that away! THANKS. I HATE IT.

PART IV - A POOR USE OF SPACE: So, all of the Future State books kind of struggle with the issue of too much exposition, which is understandable. They have to introduce an entirely new status quo in a very limited amount of literal page space, so you *really* have to have a handle on how you allocate your time and focus.

Introducing a brand new, lore-heavy heroic character who gets all of the development and dynamic art and pulls focus away from the character you’re meant to be writing is a bad use of a two issue limited series.

Like, this is a crappy Supergirl comic but it’s a great backdoor pilot for a Lynari ongoing, I guess.

Imagine if in the Jon Superman book, they introduced a random, brand new best friend for Jon, and he got the big character arc instead of Jon. That’s something you save for an arc in an ongoing title, NOT A TWO ISSUE EVENT COMIC.

Back to said new character, there’s a lot of forced attempts to parallel Kara and Lynari, but Lynari’s backstory is so confusing, rushed, and poorly explained that it’s like: okay, they’re both...angry? And the moon jerks hate them? ...uh. Okay.

(I’m gonna bring back my ‘why is this set on the moon, even’ question so that my ‘poor use of space’ header becomes a better joke.)

PART V - I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO...B/C THERE SURE AIN’T ONE HERE: I’ve already mentioned that Krypto was apparently Kara’s conscience so when Lynari’s aunt arrives to...kill them? (again, everything about Lynari’s backstory is rushed and poorly explained) Kara gets real mad and basically pulls a Gothel: ‘You want me to be the bad guy? Fine! Now I’m the bad guy.’ But thank goodness Lynari is there to tell Kara no! Don’t murder the giant aunt eel! Lynari then steals Kara’s powers and gives up the swamp jewel that’s been hidden inside their body and now their aunt is less murder-y!

WOW. Couldn’t even give the big damn hero moment to Kara in her own book, huh?

So the day is saved. It takes Kara a while to regain her powers, and it’s only then, when she’s no longer ‘above’ the moon jerks, that they’re like, ‘oh, we like her!’ There is a bit of narration about how that attitude is awful. But that narration is provided by Lynari. See, the inner monologue is no longer Kara’s thoughts, but rather it has switched to Lynari’s point of view. They’re telling us this story. And do you know why?

PART VI - WHY THIS COMIC *SUCKS*: KARA DIES. SHE’S THE FRIGGIN’ ‘SECOND GRAVE’ OF THE TITULAR ‘TWO GRAVES’

Fudge this comic to heck.

See, Kara dies on the moon, presumably of old age. She’s buried next to Krypto. And this random character who we’re suddenly supposed to care about tells us her story. Not Clark. Not the Danvers. Not Brainy. Not even one of the supporting cast members from her solo title. No one from Kara’s life is mentioned at all, save for Jon and Clark, and they’re pretty much relegated to flashbacks of Kara punching them.

PART VII - TIME TO COMPARE DEATHS, I GUESS: First and foremost can I just say that I hate that’s a sentence that I’m typing about Kara in the year of our lord, 2021. But okay: Kara’s big famous death in Crisis stopped the entire DC universe cold. Everyone paused in the middle of the destruction of the multiverse to mourn her loss and honor her (GENUINELY HEROIC) sacrifice. Clark and Barbara--two established characters with a strong connection/relationship to Kara--offered lovely eulogies.

This one: Kara gets to die of old age in obscurity after a lifetime of striving to be recognized and only achieving it by de-powering and serving a population of jerks.

Not the warm and fuzzy ending you think it is!

(Meanwhile, Clark lives for millennia and spawns an entire dynasty of Els, all of ‘em out there, protecting the cosmos. I was looking forward to House of El in the hopes of maybe seeing some Kara stuff but NOPE. Thanks to Superwoman, we’re probably not gonna see any future Kara stuff beyond this! G R E A T)

And like, the argument could be made that this ending makes Kara happy. This is the life she chooses! She wants to be alone and garden on the moon! Except, we get zero insight from Kara regarding the remainder of her life. We only have Lynari’s narration and some montage shots...nearly all of which focus on other characters. But honestly, even if we did get Kara’s side of things, I doubt it would shed much light on her feelings, bEEECAUSE...

PART VIII - SUPER BLAND: This Kara really has no personality outside of ‘detached and vaguely bitter.’ I like Sauvage, I think she’s an incredibly talented artist, but here, Kara is stiff and her expression often reads as aloof. She’s very pretty, but it comes at the expense of being expressive. (And I know Sauvage can do expressive stuff...because Lyanari gets to be expressive.) Like...I love that shojo manga vibe but this is a Kara devoid of spark and warmth.

...Like...Melissa Benoist’s portrayal of Kara is right there...

I’ve already sort of touched on this but her inner monologue doesn’t have much personality either. She’s just parroting the same, ‘I need to do as Krypto taught me!’ nonsense for both issues. Until, of course, we shift to Lynari’s narration, and lose Kara’s thread entirely.

PART IX - LET’S WRAP THIS UP: This book frustrates me to no end because it had a lot of stuff going for it. It’s got a female writer and artist--still a rarity for the Supergirl book--it’s a limited series mostly free of continuity and character baggage, and it’s not tied down to the grimdark cyberpunk stuff happening in the Gotham books. YOU COULD’VE DONE ANYTHING. And, once again, DC goes with a pitch that’s: Kara is angry, Kara resents Clark...and Kara dies.

It’s also happening...right as Kara has no dedicated ongoing title, the movie’s been shelved, the TV show is entering its sixth and final season, and all promotion has shifted to new CW and HBO shows.

*screams into the void*

MAAAAAAN I hate this book. I hate that it retroactively makes me hate the Andreyko run a little bit--a run that I took to be about a traumatized young woman forced to confront her grief, and who leans on a beloved animal companion for comfort. Here, Krypto is L I T E R A L L Y the reason Kara’s not constantly frying folks with her heat vision.

I hate that this book has made me use the word ‘literally’ so much in this rant.

I hate that this could possibly be more in continuity than Millennium.

Remember Millennium? Where Kara was in like...five pages? And she was warm, and kind, and promised to help Rose because it was the right thing to do, and oh yes, WAS PRESIDENT OF EARTH?!??! AND A CLASSY OLD LADY!?!?!?!?! WHO WAS STILL ALIVE AND KICKIN’ IN THE FAR FLUNG FUTURE!?!?!?!?!

I hate that I’m using my lunch hour to rant about how much I hate this comic.

I hate that DC editorial seems hell-bent on erasing the interesting aspects of Kara’s character to sand her down to ‘the angry one’ or ‘Batman 2.0′

PART X - LET’S END ON SOME (?) POSITIVES: Don’t read this book! Don’t do it! Don’t waste your time and money!

Instead, check out ANYTHING ELSE. If you want mom!Kara, read Tom Taylor’s ‘Last Daughters of Krypton’ in the DC Nuclear Winter special. If you want heroic oldlady!Kara, read Millennium. Honestly? Pick up anything by Bendis that has Supergirl in it. It is miles away better than this. You want angry Kara working through her grief? Andreyko, Red Lantern, even Infected. ANYTHING BUT THIS. HECK, grab Superman of Metropolis instead! That has bad Kara characterization but at least she doesn’t end up dead.

Anyways. This comic is bad. I wish it wasn’t! And this is now the SECOND TIME IN A ROW that Kara’s book ends on a terrible note before the character disappears from monthly comics for an unknown period of time.

*screams into the void again*

#SG post #future state #future state superwoman #comic rant #and oh it is a RANT

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quietepics · 3 years

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♡ · 　INTRO.　 * . V / ?.

here comes the boi ! hello boi~ welcome~ there he is , he is here ~ / ie i finally brought a himbo . i’m gonna try and keep this relatively short and sweet since i’m still figuring him out myself , but i hope y’all love my typhon kid , mister jesse garcia as much as i do !

THE BASICS

name: jesse antonio garcia nickname(s): jess, jessie birthday: february 25th , 1996 ethnicity: latino ( colombian - ecuatorian - mexican ) birthplace: new york , usa gender identity: cis male sexuality: pansexual / panromantic powers: beast creation mixtape: hml / sisyfuss , too close / sir chloe , loverboy / a - wall , cariño / the marias , just right / got7 , lo que siento / cuco , i need a hero / bonnie tyler character inspiration: jonathan joestar ( jjba ) , michael kelso ( that 70s show ) , sokka ( atla ) , dick grayson ( dc comics ) , josuke higashikata ( jjba ) , fushiguro megumi ( jujutsu kaisen ) , george ( george of the jungle i am so sorry )

THE MUSE ( bullying , blood tw )

jesse is the only child of clara garcia , a veterenarian based in queens , new york . though their family is small , consisting of both of them and the ocassional phone call from grandparents or other relatives , he never really had a problem with it .

jesse was always a sociable kid , making friends wherever he went and , since his mother was a vet , the boy grew up surrounded by all sorts of pets .

he lived a pretty normal life ; passable grades , good at sports , always willing to land a hand to anyone in need or help an old lady cross the street . he’d even run errands around his neighborhood , hoping to score a buck or two in the process . but things took a turn by the time jesse was in his early teens .

specifically after helping a guy from school who was being bullied by strangers who were much , much bigger than him ; even bigger than jesse himself . still , that didn’t stop him from walking over and standing up for the poor boy --- nor did it stop him from getting his ass kicked .

the fight was pretty bad , eventually leading to the point where jesse could feel himself begin to lose consciensce . whatever happened after that is history , but there’s one thing he remembers to this day : two big dogs , a black one and a white one , rushing from right where he laid on the ground and attacking the bullies , who ran away in fear .

when jesse woke up , he was lying inside an ambulance right where the fight took place , both his mother and the boy he’d saved standing outside and talking to the police . then , he noticed both dogs , the ones he’d barely caught a glimpse of before collapsing , sitting right outside the vehicle , watching him with an all too familiar gaze . he knew they were worried about him , and in return , he was grateful for them saving his life .

it was after that day that jesse learned about his father , typhon , and how the dogs were actually the young man’s very own creations , born from a moment of despair to save his life and his new friend’s .

it wasn’t long after that day that he was scouted to nemean lion by two agents , and though it wasn’t easy to leave his mother behind , jesse listened to her encouragement and moved to nl . they keep in touch regularly ( as he is extremely protective and caring of his mom ) , but there isn’t a day where jesse regrets coming to nl . he sees everything as one big adventure , even the things he doesn’t quite understand --- but hey , at least he’s got his dogs with him , as well as dozens of other pets he’s created over the years !

MISC.

himbo . he is a himbo . he is big and drinks respect women juice daily , and also brings some to his friends . he’s also not very smart but at least he’s cute and has a good heart .

jesse’s dogs are called dara ( female , white fur ) and zoro ( male , black fur ) . he didn’t choose their names , they just came to him as if the dogs had told him so , as if those were their names long before they were created . if he’s walking around campus without much of a plan in mind , just hanging around , you can bet both dogs are with him . they’re very protective of their owner , but also extremely kind and never really start a fight . pls pet them .

he works at the pet shop , and he LOVES his job ! not only does it make him feel closer to his mom even at a distance , but he loves sharing his love of animals with people from and outside of campus . he also makes some of the cutest little creatures you’ll find there !

james is his best friend and together , they are one whole idiot . their friendship literally began after they realized they basically share names with jessie and james from pokemon .

not a vegan , but doesn’t eat red meat at all . he’s not gonna murk you for doing so , but pls don’t take him to a stakehouse or anything like that . he usually avoids other kinds of meat in general , too , but especially red meat . that one is never being eaten .

his favorite things to create are dogs , cats , guinea pigs , wolves , bunnies and small birds . he can also create stuff like the hybrid creatures from atla , such as turtle ducks or koalaotters . he refrains from doing so though , and keeps those particular creatures strictly under his care in fear that someone might hurt them .

HE’S SO SOFT . biggest softie in the whole world , will do anything for his friends , will do anything for anyone at all ! he believes in you ! he’s your #1 fan !

honestly just let me write this boy i am so excited to share him with you all

#nlintro

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crystalelemental · 3 years

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OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCK THIS UP?! THIS WAS THE EASIEST LAYUP IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND SOMEHOW YOU FUCKED IT UP, GODDAMMMIT HEROES!

Okay, let me get this out of the way. Both Mythics. Triandra AND Freyja. So cool, that...really fucks my day up. I love Freyja, she’s easily the best central antagonist in the game thus far, but the rest of Green...sucks. It sucks. I have absolutely no need of Triandra, nor any desire to pull her. She has good fodder though, not gonna lie. Attack/Speed Push 4 is beautiful fodder for a unit I cannot give a shit about. Speed/Res Rein is...okay. Honestly she’s overall okay. The Guard effect on foes is nice, but frankly I’m not really worried about that. My Dark defense team is good enough. And on that topic, they’re cycling effects for Mythics. Triandra is a straight up improvement on Yune, if you consider Yune the worst Dark mythic. I don’t, so I actually like Yune better, but you know.

Freyja though? Seriously, what is this? Like, if we were gunning for the most severe form of powercreep yet, look no further. She’s a cav unit, whose weapon is DC and built-in speed-based damage reduction. Okay. So the best of both Dimitri in one, fascinating. Attack/Speed Solo 4 is amazing for a unit with DC inherent, and speed-based damage reduction. But like. What is that signature B-skill? So just by default, gives herself all stats +2, and inflicts -2 to all stats of the foe. But wait! If the foe has a bonus, it turns their bonus into a combat penalty, and gives her the same bonus! All of this is based on her being by herself, but...speed based damage reduction and DC weapon. What possible support does she need? Oh, and she’s a Light mythic. Can we put that on Astra? Please? Just...let me put that on Astra. Just fuck Thrasir’s day up. Give us an easy win there. We already have Mila for supertanking, we really don’t need this.

So Green is fucked. I only want one unit, though. Triandra is great fodder, and Hel is also great fodder, but ultimately I just want that Freyja.

But hey, what about Colorless? You know, the thing I’ve been pinning my hopes on for the last month. I mean, we’re at the Braves right? It’s gotta be Brave Claude! ...oh, what? Oh, it’s Shinon? One of my most disliked characters in the entire series? Oh well, that’s great, thanks I guess. Seriously, why? Why this? Why now? I hate Shinon. This literally ruins everything. Even with all his fodder there’s no way I can recover from pulling like 8 of him and no Corrin like I did with fucking Eir when I was after Grima. I can’t go through that with this fuck. I guess Water and Wind season remain a fucking disaster then, because I really, truly cannot. Like, who would even take it? Time’s Pulse isn’t that great, I don’t need it on many units. Lull Attack/Speed is great, and definitely the most valuable thing he’s got overall, but even then a lot of units who want it have it. Deadeye is shiny and new, but I can’t really think of anyone who desperately wants it. Norne and Faye both need recovery, as does V!Faye for Aether Raids. L!Leif has his superior signature special. There’s just...no one. No one needs this. No one wants this that badly. So like...what the fuck? What am I actually going to do with like a dozen Shinon if this banner goes south, huh? Fuck, I cannot believe they fucked this up.

Red and Blue both suck, no one cares. Brave Lysithea is nice, but Sothis is the actual worst Mythic, and L!Eliwood isn’t good either, so Red is a dead draw. Blue has Apotheosis Anna for some reason, but then we get Tiki and Azura, characters I have at +10 and +9 respectively from pitybreakers. So they’re useless.

Honestly...I’m kind of upset. This was supposed to save my Arena off-seasons. Water and Wind were supposed to be salvaged. But nope, not like this. Worse, Freyja is on the worst possible season. Like, Eir is now +10, she’s way too useful for scoring and I’m not getting Freyja to +10, so she can’t go. Can’t get rid of Mila because then V!Faye won’t do her job or supertanking, and we lose the Isolation effect on dancers. Can’t get rid of Peony because she’s too valuable as Dancer support when you have a limited turn count, and an armor unit that needs to be able to travel. Freyja is literally dead weight. It’s cute that she can probably solo entire defense teams with no issues, but you need someone to snipe the pots and take care of everything else, so like fuck this. And hilariously, it looks like Triandra is a great counter to her speed-based playstyle.

Basically, they fucked literally everything up. Freyja being a light mythic is a disaster. Had she been Astra, she’d be the best unit in that season no questions asked. Had they just put Brave Claude on colorless, it would be the perfect spread, but now I’m not even sure I want to try that hard on the fucking thing, for fear of fucking Shinon. We went from this being a massive enticing banner, to being almost a full skip. I won’t. I want at least one copy of Freyja for reasons, and I will try for Corrin and Leif, just to get somewhere on them as projects for Arena. But my god, I’ve never seen something that looked so good turn out to be such shit.

But hey, at least this means saving some of my expenses for F!Morgan who comes back in a week and a half, or the new Heroes who will probably be a disappointment anyway!

#fire emblem heroes #seriously fuck this banner I'm actually pissed

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81scorp · 4 years

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Constructive criticism: Suicide Squad

Originally posted on Deviantart Apr 20, 2019)

Ah yes... Suicide Squad. After Man of Steel and Batman V Superman, the two movies that were supposed to jumpstart the big cinematic universe of the DC heroes, turned out to be... less than good, WB had one more chance to convince movie goers that they knew what they were doing in the form of Suicide Squad. After some reshoots and some editing the movie opened in cinemas and... it did well, at least at the box office. It made more than three times it`s budget. I have to admit that personally I liked it. I like that Batman was allowed to be Batman this time and not another one of Snyder`s broken antiheroes who are appearently obligated to kill people just because the plot says so. I like that we were introduced to characters that aren`t Batman, Superman or Wonderwoman for a change, the DC comics universe does have more characters than those three after all. I like that they weren`t afraid to introduce magic into the DCEU. I like that Harley Quinn, a character with potential, finally appeared on the big screen. But the keyword here is "like". Liking something is a matter of personal experience. Liking something says nothing about that thing`s quality, but rather something about the person doing the liking. When it comes to quality... Suicide Squad isn`t so lucky. You don`t have to look that close to see that this movie is a disjointed mess. Not making Joker into the main bad guy is not necessarily a bad idea, it just didn`t work in this story. Also, don`t give give the actor playing an iconic bad guy the idea that he`s the main bad guy when he isn`t. Just saying. I can say some nice things about this movie, the bar scene was good, Margot Robbie`s Harley was fun and memorable and even if the motivations of the characters changed whenever the plot felt like it, they at least felt like characters. If the story I`ve come up with seems familiar it`s because I`ve sto- I mean BORROWED. Heheh... yes, borrowed a lot of it from the youtube video "How they should have made Suicide Squad" by Whatculture. If I could run so fast that I could screw the laws of physics and travel backwards in time and change this movie, What would I have done? First: I would have put it after Justice League in the movie order. Then I would have done these changes.

Incubus, Enchantress, Slipknot and Captain Boomerang`s pink pony Lose them all. These people going up against an enemy with godlike powers is like me going up against Deathstroke and my only weapon is a spoon. I can only suspend my disbelief so far. Slipknot is a glorified redshirt with a name.They could always have Slipknot and Enchantress in the sequel though. Enchantress could be a good guy that volunteers to work with the squad. They could limit her powers though. Maybe to telekinesis and teleportation? The pink pony is introduced early in the story, we are then reminded in the second act that the pink pony is still a thing, and then later in the movie... nothing. Why remind us that it`s still there if you`re not gonna do anything with it? Ever heard about Chekhovs gun? It is a principle that states that every element in a story must be necessary, and irrelevant elements should be removed; elements should not appear to make "false promises" by never coming into play. (The difference between Chekhov's gun and foreshadowing is that foreshadowing only vaguely implies that an event will take place in the future, while the Chekhov's gun principle guarantees that an event will happen further along in the story.) "But can`t filmmakers try something different, be a little experimental?" You may say. Sure they can. Conventional doesn`t necessarily mean good, but the same goes for unconventional. If you`re wanna be different, be different. But be different and good. But the pink pony isn`t really as much of a problem as much as it is a symptom of the movie`s bigger, main problem: lack of narrative cohesion. Which is the result of the reshoots and re-edits caused by Batman V Superman`s less than stellar box office and critical reception. Now, with those things out of the way. How would I have remade the rest of this mess? Plot: Arkham Asylum, a few years ago: A female blond doctor walks through a corridor to a closed cell, she is IDd and allowed to enter. She talks to the mental patient in the cell, (who`s face is hidden in the shadows) doing her best to rehabilitate him. Her name is revealed to be Harleen Quinzel. Harleen says: "I`m trying to help you Joker." The man leans forward into the light, revealing green hair, white skin, red lips and a diabolic smile. He says: "Please... just call me Mr J." We hear "Sympathy for the devil" playing in the soundtrack and the title is shown:Suicide Squad.

Cut to: Present day: "Sympathy for the devil" is still playing (and starts to fade out) as we see Amanda Waller in a military facility, walking to a room to talk to talk a pair of Washington D.C. officials. She wants to put together a team of criminals for extremely dangerous black ops missions. In this case The Joker has stolen a form of chemical gasbomb. It`s an ideal weapon for spreading any form of dangerous gas over a large area. We are introduced to the members of this team through the magic of the old movie rule: Show don`t tell. (In this case it`s 95% show and 5% tell.) George "Digger" Harkness, AKA: Captain Boomerang: Eccentric mercenary from Australia who turned into a boomerang throwing criminal. Robbed several banks in his home country, travelled to U.S.A. to rob some more but got stopped by the Flash and put in prison.

Floyd Lawton, AKA: Deadshot: Expert marksman. He is introduced like he was in the movie: about to kill a man but argues with his employer about the price. His frustrated employer sends the money to his account and Deadshot takes out his target.

Chato Santana, AKA: El Diablo: Metahuman gang member from L.A. who can generate fire but is now reluctant to use his powers, atleast for fighting.

Waylon Jones, AKA: Killer Croc: Born with a form of atavism that made his skin like a crocodile`s, Jones was bullied as a kid. He took that anger with him into adult years where he became a wrestler in illegal fighting matches. He then rose in the ranks to become a feared and respected criminal... and was then caught by Batman.

Dr Harleen Quinzel, AKA: Harley Quinn: The shrink who tried to get into the Joker`s head but let him into her head instead. He convinced her to see things from his point of view, to see the pointlessness and humor in life, she later helped him escape. We see her try on her Harley Quinn outfit followed by a montage where she and Mr J do romantic date-stuff together like drinking from the same milkshake through individual straws, robbing a jewellry store and other darkly comical, cutesy things, all to the song: "Happy together" by the Turtles. It ends with them driving recklessly through the streets in a (most likely stolen) car, Batman shows up and, as Harley puts it, "ruins date-night". Joker drives the car into the river, Batman dives after them, finds only Harley, saves her life (and no, we don`t need that CPR scene).

Amanda Waller: "Those are the attack dogs, now let`s look at the dog-handlers."Col. Rick Flag: West point graduate and Army Special Forces colonel. (His visual introduction is mostly just him, fighting in a war, doing very well in a military obstacle course and getting a medal.)

Tatsu Yamashiro, AKA: Katana: Former cop who was engaged to a man (Maseo) who was trying to take down the Yakuza but failed. The Oyabun of the clan he was trying to take down caught him, pulled out a sword and said: "You know, there`s a legend about this sword, it is said that the souls of those slain by it are trapped inside the blade." The Oyabun then killed Maseo. Tatsu mourned her fiancèe. A few months later she killed the Oyabun with his own sword. The next moment she heard the voice of Maseo coming from it. (Looks like the whole "souls trapped in the blade" thing was true.) Our characters meet each other, they don`t get along that well, except Harley who is very social and quirky (... and crazy). Boomerang seems to hate Deadshot for some reason. They are informed about their mission and after some more character stuff. (Maybe a training montage since they are gonna have to work together later in the movie. But since they are jerks and only have one day to prepare for their mission the whole teamwork thing doesn`t end well.) Flag thinks that they`re a hopeless crew. They leave via helicopter. One of the people who work for Amanda Waller asks her why she didn`t include Mardon (The Weather wizard from the Flash movie that only exists in this alternate universe where I got to be DCEU`s Kevin Fiege.) in the group. Amanda Waller: "He`s too powerful. I don`t trust people that I can`t control." On the helicopter ride Harley tells Deadshot that Joker became the way he is today because Batman threw him into the giant vat at Ace chemicals.

An old abandoned amusement park outside Gotham: The gang lands a few kilometers (Yes, I`m from Sweden. We use the metricsystem. Deal with it.) outside the park. Rick Flag stays outside with several firing squads that surround the park and Katana is the one who follows the team into the park. If they try to escape Katana will off them. If they succeed in escaping the park the firing squad will off them. (I`m saving the bombs in the neck for a later movie.) When they enter they hear the Joker`s voice through the loudspeakers. The Joker: "Willkomen! Bienvenue! Welcome! To my Cirque du Macabre!" The Joker wonders if they are interested in joining his side. Some of them are considering it. Harley takes this opportunity to leave the gang and be with her beloved puddin`. Katana tries to stop her but the Joker has snipers equipped with rifles and grenade launchers firing at her and the rest of the gang. There`s a big commotion and they are forced to split up, Katana ends up with Killer Croc, Captain Boomerang ends up with Deadshot and El Diablo ends up alone. Harley, trying to find the Joker, runs into two of his henchmen: Bob 1 and Bob 2, who take her to meet Mr J. Once they´re united it`s a big smoochfest. El Diablo walks through the amusement park alone. He uses his firepower against the henchmen when they try to stop him but only in self defense and always in nonlethal ways. He only aims for the arms or legs, never the head or torso. Harley and Joker are enjoying each other`s company. Harley says the circumstances could probably have been better if it hadn`t been for Batman. The Joker: "Oh yes... Batman. The root to all of this." and he tells her a story from his past that she`s heard before, about that time when Batman threw him into the vat of dangerous chemicals. Except... the story that he`s verbally telling her doesn`t match the things that we see in his flashback. In his flashback we see that he was one of several criminals who broke into Ace`s chemicals, hoping to steal something valueable. We never see his face because he was wearing a red ski mask. Batman showed up to stop them, Not-yet-Joker was frightened and tried to escape but tripped and fell. Batman tried to save him but was too late. Not-yet-Joker was flushed out into a river, crawled up on land, had a mental breakdown and laughed at the nightsky like a madman. He was now the Joker. Meanwhile: Killer Croc and Katana are forced to work together... and it goes pretty well. He`s a crook and she`s on the side of good, but Croc is impressed by her fighting skills and respects her. They run into El Diablo. Boomerang and Deadshot have to (reluctantly) work together. We finally find out why Boomerang hates Deadshot. Deadshot killed an accomplice of Boomerang. Boomerang was in the middle of commiting a theft that required two people, but with his accomplice dead things just fell apart... hard. Deadshot reveals that he did it for the money. Money that he needed for his daughter who hates what he does for a living. He and his wife are divorced and he feels like his daughter is slipping away from him. We get a flashback to a night where he was out shopping with her. Batman showed up. Deadshot started to reach for his gun but realized he couldn`t shoot someone in front of his daughter. He surrendered and let Batman take him into custody. He has made a deal with Waller that if he does these missions he`ll be allowed to visit his daughter. Captain Boomerang understands his situation. They run into El Diablo and with him comes Killer Croc and Katana. They hide out in a bar where they try to figure out what the hell they`re gonna do next. El Diablo opens up about his past, about how he let his anger get the best of him and how he killed his own wife and kids. (It`s pretty much the bar scene, but without Harley.) So... what are their options? Try to run: their babysitter (Katana) will cut them down and even if they manage to avoid death by soul-stealing sword they still have the firing squad on the outside to worry about. Go up against the Joker: they may have a small chance of survival. They come up with a plan, or at least half a plan, then they leave the bar to try to be the good guys for once. They may be bad guys but they`re not monsters. Meanwhile: the Joker wants to take Harley to a "special place", it will require some climbing and she might wanna wear a gasmask. Meanwhile: We see Rick Flag and his firing squad outside the park. He hopes that the team knows what hey`re doing. Just wanted to remind people that he`s still in the story. The squad work their way through the amusement park and Joker`s henchmen. Deadshot is starting to run out of ammo. El Diablo gets a scene where he goes full inferno on the henchmen. It tires him out so he has to take a moment to gather his strength before he can continue. BLAM! He is shot by Bob 1. Deadshot uses his last bullet to take care of the shooter. The rest of the gang allow themselves a few seconds to mourn El Diablo before they move on. Deadshot realizes that he`s gonna have to steal guns from the enemy (if they have any that is) and use them as his own. They see the chemical gasbomb placed on a mast. It`s probably filled with the Joker`s Venom. The Joker is on top of a ferris wheel holding a remote control and wearing a gasmask. Harley is with him too and she has her own gasmask. The Joker wants to savor this moment before he pushes the button that kills everyone within a mile`s radius. The squad gets attacked by Joker`s remaining goons. Bob 2 pulls out a gun and aims it at Katana, Croc knocks the gun out of his hand and punches him out. Harley`s having second thoughts. Beating people up and robbing them is fun but she draws the line at genocide. She objects, the Joker doesn`t like that and smacks her. He pushes a button on the remote control, the bomb is now armed. A counter is ticking down. Rick Flag sees what`s happening from the outside through his binoculars. Harley pulls herself up, pulls out her mallet, hits Joker. Joker drops the remote control, Harley tries to catch it, and succeeds, but loses her balance. She falls but fortunately she manages to grab hold of a part of the ferris wheel so her fall is short. The Joker gets up and wants to get even at her for hitting him. Flag pulls out a sniper rifle with a telescopic sight and tries to get a good aim. Deadshot sees what`s going on up on the ferris wheel, he also sees Bob 2`s gun and dives for it. The Joker gets closer to Harley. Down on the ground the squad finishes beating up the last goons. Flag has the Joker in his sight. Deadshot has the Joker in his sight. BLAM! The Joker is shot. We don`t know exactly where he was shot or how bad it is, he falls. Harley pushes a button on the remote control and ends the countdown. We don`t see where the Joker landed. Who shot him? Was it Flag or was it Deadshot? It was Deadshot. Everyone is safe. They go back to prison but things are a little different now. Flag doesn`t think they`re such a hopeless crew anymore. Deadshot gets to visit his daughter and helps her with her geometry homework. He starts to talk about how he himself uses it when preparing to assasinate people but his daughter interrupts him. She wants him to be a good guy... or at least not a bad guy, and that means no talking about killing people. Flag comes to pick him up but respects him enough to give him a few extra minutes with his daughter and he also doesn`t put the handcuffs on him in front of her. Deadshot is also on better terms with Boomerang. Katana has become somewhat of a friend with Killer Croc, she is also shown in a scene where she`s by herself talking to her fiancèe`s soul in the sword. A team of inventors have, thanks to a breakthrough in technology, invented small, remote-controlled bombs that can be implanted in a persons neck. They show this on a test dummy to Amanda Waller. Flag wonders if it is necessary. The squad has become better as a team and if they get better they may not even need the threat of death as a motivator for future missions. Waller says that she admires his optimism, but she does not share it. She thinks that the first candidate for the bomb implant should be Mark mardon (The Weather wizard). Harley returns to her cell, glad that she put her foot down and hit the Joker. She`s to good for him. In her cell she finds a vase with a rose in it. It has a card attached to it that says: "from J". Now she doesn`t know what to feel. Because despite that he treated her badly, her psyche is so damaged that this tiny, shallow gesture is enough to make her think that he may not be so bad after all. End credits roll to Queen`s "Bohemian Rhapsody" but we only get the first three minutes of it, then we get... a mid-credit scene.Harley`s in her cell reading a book. (Maybe Twilight? She could say something like "Oh Bella you dumb bimbo. Can`t you see that Edward`s no good for you?") Suddenly a SWAT team breaks into her cell. They use a mechanically powered circular saw that cuts through metal on the lock to the cage she`s in. One of the SWAT team members turns out to be the Joker. Joker: "Let`s go home."

Harley: "Puddin`!" Harley embraces and kisses him. The credits start to roll again and we get the rest of "Bohemian Rhapsody". The fun part. The part that begins with "I see a little silhouetto of a man". After the credits we get a post-credit scene: Mark Mardon, who has not yet had the bomb implanted in his neck, is nowhere to be found. His cell is empty. All they can see from the security camera footage is that some mysterious, fastmoving blur showed up from nowhere and freed him from his cell. This is not good. And that`s how I would do it, feel free to disagree.

#81scorp #constructive #criticism #editorial #suicide squad #dceu

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matt-eldritch · 4 years

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Mortal Kombat Akademy

In between my work on the 31 Days of Original Characters challenge, I've begun to revisit my plans for the big Mortal Kombat story I'd wanted to do for awhile; Mortal Kombat Akademy. I've done a lot of character busts with backstory info and I did a sort of "season one" plots but this is something I'm not really satisfied with anymore. I'm gonna spend the new year trying to readjust and rework the overall story and characters to something more workable. Here's a few odds and ends of what I've planned so far;

Story Outline

Shaolin Monks, Lui Kang and Kung Lao, are recruited into the Mortal Kombat Akademy, the secret fighting school located on the island paradise of international crimelord, Shang Tsung. But those who step foot on the island are subjected to terrors beyond comprehension once they learn the true purpose of the school; a training ground for the soldiers of an interdimensional tyrant who conquers by use of a fighting tournaments ordained by the gods themselves. But one of the gods, Raiden, is willing to give Earth a fighting chance by training as many chosen Earthlings as he can so they may finally defeat the forces of evil in the Mortal Kombat tournament.

Kinda bare bones but for plot synopsis go, it helps me sort of make a launching pad for the ideas. Like my original idea, the story is still primarily about Lui Kang and Kung Lao going to the school and meeting/befriending the typical heroes of the Mortal Kombat world, Raiden being their mentor and Shang Tsung being the big bad to overcome.

But the story ideas I had just don’t really cut it for me now. I feel as though I was sort of putting the cart before the horse by putting so much time making elaborate details instead of snowballing one idea to make a big bright idea. I’ve made some titles for them;

Start the Semester!

Tour the Akademy!

Prepare for the First Exams!

Bond Like Your Lives Depend On It!

Learn the Fatalities!

Wills and Testaments!

Survive the Detetionrealm!

Survive the First Round of Exams!

Survive the Second Round of Exams!

Survive the Last Round of Exams!

Party Your Asses Off!

Mortal Kombat Akademy V. The DC Universe: Dawn of Pain!

To give some context to them, I had a storyarc planned; Early on, Raiden would want the Earthrealm class (the class would have Kang, Lao, Johnny, Sonya, Jax, Stryker and Nightwolf) to be friends and allies in order to survive the matches and save the world. Easier said than done when so many personalities were clashing together. And once they learn about fatalities, the class goes through some mental anguish over having to kill or be killed, Kang being the only one vowing to never kill anyone, to the disbelief of everyone else. Things start looking up once the class starts to trust and respect one another and become stronger fighters.

But Kano, on the behalf of Goro’s Class (Mileena, Kitana, Jade, Baraka, Sheeva, Skarlet, Reptile, Tanya and Kano himself) frames Sonya and Johnny for a crime, leading to Professor Quan Chi to exile them to the “Detention Realm” where his goons, Drahmin and Moloch, deal out the punishments. My idea for them that they’d be bumbling and dim so Johnny and Sonya could escape them, bonding while trying to make it to the final exams. Everyone but Kang and Lao have been defeated and since Sonya and Johnny were late, it’d all be up to them to beat Goro. Once Goro beast Lao half to death, Kang faces his fears and manages to defeat Goro without killing him, but not without making him suffer for all the pain he’s caused.

The class’ reward for passing the exams is an-all expense paid vacation to Edenia, which is basically a hellhole built to Shao Kahn’s pleasure. Here, Kang and Kitana get some alone time to romantically connect to one another during the celebratory feast hosted by Kitana and Mileena’s parents, Shao Kahn and Sindel. But really, the feast is for the Kahns to asses the threat that Raiden’s students hold to their long term plans. And finally, the DCU story is just a fun breather where I have the mid-1990s versions of their heroes (Superman with a mullet, Batman Forever styled Batman and the two Wonder Women, Artemis and Diana, for example).

And after rereading what I had for plots, I noticed how little the Lin Keui featured into the stories since I designed a lot of them for the series. Should try to fix that somehow.

Overall Art Style

As I stated in previous MKA concept art, I based the art style on the look of Steven Universe. I still intend for the project to be written fanfiction, but I do wish to have some elements of it to be drawn by myself. Not a full adaptation but maybe a full page illustration of each chapter, along with the general character/environment sketches, or like the ending credits of The Mandalorian series.

But back to the art style, I wish to change it. I can’t really go further on the style of Steven Universe if this story is going to be about such heavy violence and gore. It wouldn’t really look right, might cross over into unintentional hilarity or into the uncanny valley. I’m looking at something like the artist One, the man behind One Punch Man and Mob Psycho 100 whose style is really unique, fast, sketchy and frenetic, all attributes I think will work well. I also love the anime aesthetic of the 1990s so that’s definitely a goal to achieve since I’m setting the story in 1995.

Story Ideas To Keep

* Koins: My idea for an in-canon reason for the koins you win in matches (at least in Mks 9-11, IDK how far back they go) to unlock Krypt stuff will be used as a way for the students to buy things like food, clothing and resurrections due to being killed by another student’s fatalities since its primarily a learning facility instead of a battlefield. Though if you’re broke, you’re not gonna be saved. Koins, like in the games, will be given for performing a fatality and a moral choice comes up when you think “do I do good and be paid less, or do something terrible but get more chances of being resurrected if I die?”

*Profiles: I’ve got to do some rewrites for the characters. Nothing too too major since I do like a lot of what I wrote, but its more to streamline it to fit in the new direction I’m doing. Like, having Sonya, Jax and Stryker being Hall Monitors, I don’t think something like that is gonna be part of my story since I’m trying to take it a tad more seriously. The idea of Detention Realm and having Dharmin and Moloch as lovable henchmen is still canon, as far as I’m concerned. Think the two mice henchmen from the film “Flushed Away”. And on a final note, the newly retconned origin for Sindel...that shit isn’t gonna be part of my story.

Overall, whatever backstories that’ll be changed will likely be on a case by case basis. No telling who or what will be changed right now, but I’ve now thought of some parts to start with.

Diversity and Inclusion

This one is probably gonna be one of the hardest to accomplish since I really want to make the series really diverse with body types, genders and sexuality, race, neurodiversity, that type of subject matter. Inclusion is really important to me, and I’m scared how I might screw it up like how Disney, JK Rowling, SNL, Simpsons, Big Mouth, Voltron so many more screw it all up since they all serve the needs of the capitalist, neoliberal status quo over the voices of the marginalised.

And with that, brings up some more challenges. Will I make so many diverse original characters that they take time away from the canon characters? Should I make more canon MK characters differently diverse?

I'm also planning on having the characters display prejudices and bigotries but I'm scared I'll go in too much of "Bright" territory, if you know what I mean.

Tackling Mature Content

I mean, it goes without saying that the series is going to be full of violence and gore since that’s basically in the DNA of Mortal Kombat in the first place. But there’s much more serious topics I want to try to write. Like the effects of abuse, queer rights, the above themes about diversity and inclusion, the seemingly never ending war and the ideas of the long defeat. Of course, my chapters will be marked with as clear as possible content warnings, those are important.

A Shared Universe

A month ago, I watched a video about Midway trying to recreate the success of Mortal Kombat into other fighting games. The video, “Remember when Midway tried to copy Mortal Kombat?” talked about three would-be franchises of Midway fighting games; Mace: The Dark Age, War Gods and Bio FREAKS. After watching the video and reading about the games, I think it’d be good for lore if they were integrated into my story. Mace and War Gods could be used as part of the backstory of the series. Like the idea of the Earthrealm Kombatants being the descendants of the characters of Mace and War Gods, maybe Raiden was involved with the later, I’m not sure. Bio FREAKS could be latter used if I go into a time travel story. Maybe a mix of the game and the story/characters of Mortal Kombat X. As for Midway’s other successful but overlooked franchise, Killer Instinct, that is probably going to be the most recurring element in the shared universe. UltraTech, the main villains of the series would be the people behind such things as Kano’s cyborg eye, the Lin Keui’s Cyber Initiative and being the rulers of Neo-Amerika in the Bio FREAKS timeline. I also wrote in the profiles of Nightwolf and Sub-Zero that the Killer Instinct universe is linked to my story (one of his divorced parents is dating one of the parents of KI’s Black Eagle and Thunder while Glacius was an alien that helped give Cryomancers their powers).

And on a side note, there is another Midway MK clone called Primal Rage, which I swear I had one of the toys based on it and saw a parody of it on an episode of Dexter’s Laboratory. Its pretty gruesome, its a bunch of savage Kaiju in a post-apocalyptic earth that resembles the stone age. Probably an alternate timeline/dimension if I use it in my series. Who knows, maybe elements of the worlds of Street Fighter and or God of War could make an appearance...

Writing the Damned Thing

Probably the absolute hardest part of this entire thing. I struggle with actually keeping attention to writing since I’m primarily a visual artist and it feels terrible to not even follow through on any idea I have and it just kinda sits and collects dust in my brain. If its sketching and rendering, I can do it. If its writing shit down, I just have executive dysfunction when it comes to it. I never know where to start writing it, how to continue writing it, how to finish it or how to put it all together cohesively.

I can’t do this without at least writing the complete first season, if I do it on a semi-regular basis, nothing is going to be done. Even like, less than a week of non-recurring writing is like a poison to me. I don’t know how, but if I make room for an hour or two of writing a day every day might help me get more prepared for longer writing.

In Conclusion

When will the first chapter be done? I don’t know. When will I start writing? Hopefully as soon as I can. I can try to post updates or work in progresses, but that’s still a pipe dream, in my honest opinion. But I want to make progress in 2020, I need to make a difference and to actually make this coming year worthwhile.

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fba-art · 5 years

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Just out of curiosity, why don’t you like young justice??

aight, so i knew i was gonna wait to respond to this ‘til i had some time to explain.

and i want to start out by saying that i don’t think Young Justice, as a property, is a bad show. in fact, i think it’s a show that had GREAT potential. i watched every new episode via livestream every saturday lol. and now, i’ll be honest when i say it’s been some time since i’ve rewatched it, and i’m always open to changing opinions. a few years back, i wanted to give it another, fresher perspective and dove in for a rewatch, but ultimately didn’t finish. i don’t remember my reasoning exactly, but i recall being disappointed.and it’s funny i received this ask this week, b/c my friend and i were planning on giving it another rewatch for shits and giggle after finals ( sober or not is tbd ).

but so, here’s where i stand on the show.

i started watching YJ when it was abt 5 episodes into s1. and i binged those first five and stick to my guns that holy SHIT 1-3 are bomb as FUCK. super strong start! Independence Day will never not get me SO HYPE and remind me why i fell in love with DC’s teenage heroes in the first place. it’s so… youthful. a fun conversation for another time.

and now, when i started watching YJ, it was like four months into my making my TT!Kid Flash rp blog, and two months after i’d gotten into reading comics; when i found out Wally was like a biG DC CHARACTER, NOT JUST AN OLD CARTOON ONE-SHOT, i went EVERYWHERE to get my hands on more about Wally West. ironically, the first purchase i ever made from a comic store was a silver age Teen Titans tale, issue #2 of TTY1, and two issues of the old Young Justice comics ( still some of my favorite comics to this day; more on that later ).TL;DRi saw a commercial for YJ, ft. my fave DC char and my fave comic title and went “HOSHIT”.

as the episodes pushed the show’s plot along, it was fun and explorative of a more intense side to the idea of a group of superteens in the DCU. and again, very TEENAGER-Y, which i say in the BEST of ways, considering that was the target audience as well. but, as part of that audience at the time, one of the things that had started to bother me was the character relationships. yeah, i was loving on most of the main cast at the time, but for the first half of the season, the team’s supposedly-close friendships were pushed to the backburner ( EXCEPT for KF and Rob’s, which was one of the only things that got me through the season ). the first season WAS about straining relationships. the social drama was palpable. you NEED conflict in your plots, and char-v-char is especially fun. but i remember feeling like there was little bonding. they were a group of acquaintances, learning to co-habitate the same space- not to say that they didn’t seem like friends, but there was a lack of balance between “teens being professionals in their field” and “teens being immature teens”. both were squeezed in, but both consistently felt forced.

which brings me to the next point: forcing relationships without developing them!i wasn’t sure why i was supposed to care about Roy, like. At all. the team always bringing up that they trained alongside him, grew with the guy, and then??? nada, except when the plot needed edgy tantrumy angst.then there was spitfire. i ship spitfire now, but the ENTIRETY of s1 i was SO FRUSTRATED, because all those two did was bicker. wally was pretty foul to artemis, who was also just plain mean to wally. and i say this with the two of them as my TOP FAVE CHARS.and don’t get me STARTED on the best char on the entire team, KALDUR’AHM!!!! who was shit on by EVERYONE– fandom and plot, alike. actually, i do recall in my last rewatch starting two tallies of everytime kaldur was DISRESPECTED and TREATED LIKE GARBAGE BY TEEN AND ADULT CHARS, versus everytime he was treated respectfully. this boy was BRUTALIZED through s1.m’gann and conner, too– a cute concept, but borderline cringey, even creepy, at times. i was rooting for supermartian. i was. but it was like the writers didn’t know how to write a slowburn. the idea was honestly better on paper than in execution.

the YJ spinoff comics filled in a lot of these gaps, i’ll admit. it explored the chars, their relationships, and their behavior in ways the show seemingly didn’t have time to do, and i LOVE the spinoff series. but i also firmly believe that you shouldn’t need a second media to fix the first. it’s capitalistic and no fun.

through the duration of the show, there were also issues such as the hiatuses. i don’t recall them coming with much warning at a time, nor sticking to much of a schedule. i don’t actually remember what they were for, either. but, before and after each of (three?? was it three?) hiatuses, the showrunners would introduce a new character during a new arc, give said character some liners or plot fodder, and do away with them for the rest of the season ( i.e Rocket, Zatanna, Garth and Tula, etc. ).

i have some other, nitpickier issues– why was wally That Way, why was clark Like That, how come bruce was the ENABLER the entire time, etc– but many can be argued as whether they affected the show as a whole or not.my actual biggest problem was the direction.the director.Greg Weisman.bc idk what the hell he was doing half the time, and i don’t think he knew, either. the writing wasn’t GREAT, but at least it was consistent. Weisman truly had a marketable property, a fan favorite, and one of CN’s best running shows at the time. but between the hiatuses, the writing’s faults, the insufficient character development, and a HUGE ego thanks to his fanbase, Weisman was unable to uphold the integrity of his show. there was both fan-pandering, AS WELL AS consciously going AGAINST fans’ wishes. there was that whole “Ask Greg”-thing, too, where he would get back to a fan once every blue moon and answer background questions about the show’s universe, which became a scene of hot debate. Greg Weisman became the JK Rowling of DC, and lost a lot of my respect with his lack of damage control, and impulse control.

then, with the very inception of the show– and i don’t actually know if i can blame weisman for this or not, but i wanna know who pitched it, otherwise– the show’s CONCEPT. why was Young Justice made with this particular cast of characters, cherrypicked through DC history, aged down or revamped or just cut-and-pasted where they didn’t fit? why was its concept, “COVERT TEAM OF ADOLESCENTS WITH SUPERPOWERS WORKING TOGETHER WITH LACK OF SUPERVISION”? why was the show called “Young Justice” when what they wanted was the TT v3 comics? WHY DID WE NEED TO TURN SUPERMAN INTO THE UNAVAILABLE-FATHER TROPE????? questions that will forever remain unanswered. that’s a lie, i can answer most of them, myself.but all in all, a show with great potential that failed in execution.

season 2, i actually enjoyed more than season 1– it felt like there was more of a handle on the story and cast, alike. did i approve of season 2 and what went down? debatable. but that’s a very subjective view. objectively, season 2 flowed better than season 1, but still didn’t follow through on subplots, nor resolved relationships or even characterization ( m’gann, girl what the fuck?? ). very little team bonding, save for, once again, two chars out of the whole team. again, another season of SO much potential, but one that fell short.

its pros, however– i really enjoyed the darker themes, getting darker as time went on. there was a lot of tragedy in s2, and different perspectives and walks of life to watch through different lenses. a much more diverse cast, and very different conflicts to tackle. i was impressed. i don’t think all the controversies were resolved, but i also wasn’t quite as upset that they weren’t; open-ended conflict is frustrating, but is a great lead-in to another season.

————which, for better or for worse, we weren’t supposed to have.i personally would’ve rather the show ended there, not quite on a high note ( are u fucking kidding me fjaoisdfjoaifio waLLY, this was during the n52, too ), but with a concrete END. of course there was more to explore, the world they’d built was a big one, but we didn’t need to.

i was literally just yesterday chatting w my sis, bc after school lets out, we wanna watch season 3. i really do. i’m upset that there is one, but i do wanna know what happens to my faves. and, on top of that, i’ve been meaning to do one BIG rewatch, anyways, to get me set up for s3. as a student of film, it’s a huge philosophy of mine to rewatch EVERYTHING and go in with the intent of giving it a fresh start and a clean slate– both medias i love, and medias i hate. it’s important to analyze pop culture critically, and even things that aren’t good can still be enjoyable.

for me, Young Justice wasn’t a phenomenal show to begin with, from its technological side to its creative team to its politics, and i stopped enjoying it pretty early on. but, that isn’t to say it didn’t accomplish GREAT things, and isn’t UN-enjoyable; it has its moments. also i would DIE for most of the cast, i fucking love the characters.

i don’t think anyone is wrong for liking Young Justice. i try to stay in the loop about it, and form new opinions based on whatever information is out there until i can get ahold of the source material. and, i do like aspects of the show. but ultimately, it just isn’t my cup of tea.

#Anonymous #LONG post under read more #rambley. sorry about that it's 1 AM

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bat-hleen · 5 years

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Okay fellas it’s time for...overly long character study!

I know I could probably put this on like eleven of my my blogs but it’s most about Batman so its going on this one.

You’ve probably heard about the ages of comics. Golden age, silver age, bronze age and dark age etc. But, there’s always something been something a little bit off about all of these defintions transfering into movies.

Okay, I know DC movies (and some Marvel movies before Disney bought it, I’m sorry it’s true) aren’t exactly the best representation of the characters we love. That might have to do with that, well there’s different types of characters we love.

You might say “THERE’S ONLY ONE *insert comic book character here*!” but is that really true? Sure, there’s only one person behind the mask. (Except in Batman and Spidermans case, but you get the drift.) Metaphorically or literally. But going back to the ages of comic books, there’s more than one.

There’s obviously a difference between Adam West’s Silver Age Batman and The Dark Knight’s Dark Age Batman. I’m gonna pretend to know how to explain completely so here’s an article who does it better.

Maybe it depends on which age the character fits best in.

Perhaps that’s why Wonder Woman was so critically acclaimed. It’s a silver age character in a sea of dark age one’s. She didn’t need a dark backstory for what she doesn’t she just does it because frankly, she’s a hero!

Maybe that’s why Superman is so out of character in the likes of Batman V Superman and Justice League. A part of me thinks they took Injustice Superman. Superman has always been a golden age good do-er for the sake of being a golden age good do-er. Sometimes we forget Superman isn’t Clark Kent.

He’s an alien. He’s not human, but he took up a human identity. Superman didn’t need to save humanity, he did it because he’s a good person/alien/kryptonian! Superman didn’t need a Martha plot.

Batman, however is a different story. Unlike Wonder Wonder and Superman’s Diana and Clark personas, Bruce Wayne isnt a coverup. Bruce Wayne is Batman. If you removed Bruce Wayne from Batman, there wouldn’t be a Batman.

Batman is supposed to be a contrast to everyone’s cheery. Batman wasn’t at his best in the silver age. He was at his best in the bronze and dark ages where he could be more gritty because he has a reason to. His parents died, and that’s why he is this dark gritty hero.

Maybe that’s why the Dark Knight franchise did so well, but the films with multiple heroes didn’t. Because DC tried to make everyone Batman. But everyone can’t be Batman because than everyone doesn’t work. Batman will be the darkest, making him too dark and making everything about his parents.

The silver age heroes will be uncharacteristic jerks. The snarky characters like Flash and GL lose they’re snark, which made them special and then everything falls apart.

So how do we fix it?

Well just look at the Justice League cartoon.

It had interesting characters, funny jokes, emotion, and even had Batman not being a total emo 24-7! He was a smart snarky guy, not a sad slob.

DC has the talent, they just have to use it.

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pinkletterday · 6 years

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Oh thank God they aren't waiting till shit goes down to brief Team Flash.

LMAO Iris "what the newspaper says some shit? That's like Tuesday for us, bro."

Seriously though I'm tired of Iris being "tough". The best thing, maybe the only good thing, about Season 3 was that she was allowed to be soft and vulnerable and scared and sad. We badly need to roll back on this stoic tough chick trope. LET WOMEN BE EMOTIONAL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

I miss Soft Princess Iris. :(

SINGH. I missed Captain Singh. He's like Barry's number one stan. "You got an intern working a crime scene without going through any hiring protocol whatsoever, Allen? Good job!"

Incidentally how can you "hire" interns if you don't pay them?

So. Now that we've seen a man become compressed into a block of meat, can we have some PG 13 post-coital Westallen nookie? This show's attitude to sex is so fucked up. Shishkebab people 96 times per season but zero hints of a sex life between a loving, committed couple.

Nora, I love you but you may actually be worse than your Dad at showing up to crime scenes with flimsy excuses...*flashes back to introductory episode on Arrow 2x8* nvm

That block of meat is making me hungry. Need breakfast.

"Please stop caring about me" LOL

Ralph is sort of growing on me. Granted, so could fungus.

Okay that was mean.

I really hope Barry also tables his family drama for five minutes to be there for his best friend. Caitlin and Cisco keep being deprioritized since S2 - S3 and its grating on me. Be there for your friends too, Barry.

Excuse you, going to Thailand and painting your toes is a great way to get over a break-up. However, I strongly advise against any drastic hair decisions.

Oh. Poor guy. Be gentle, Mad Dog West-Allen

(Get it? Mad Dog Lane? TNAOS? Ok then)

I do like when they show civillian casualties. It makes what they do seem more impactful.

Is Joe on paternity leave?

I like these West family subplots. Joe and Cecile are v cute.

Cecile reading the mind of your child without their consent is the opposite of being the perfect parent. Wait till she's out and raid her room for drugs like everyone else.

Barry is like me with teenagers. "When I was your age it took five minutes just to connect to the internet and your search history turned up on your phone bill shut your gob."

Oh Nora. *facepalm*

Idk why Barry always calls his villains out. He's a speedster with the advantage of surprise. Its stupid.

"Denser than people who still believe in love." I feel you so much Cisco.

I see the CW is still forcing us to be minutely acquainted with people's chins.

SERIOUSLY just let Barry take five seconds out to give Cisco a comforting pat on the back Im so tired of this.

LOL Barry you're giving Nora math homework? That's just harsh.

Lmao Cisco is getting Anne Hathawayed HANDS OFF THE HAIR BRUCE. **proteccs lush beautiful Cisco curls*

"Does that mean you think there's something wrong with me?" NO BABY YOU ARE THE MOST PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL

"You cut my hair I cut you" YOU TELL HIM

Oh. Oh my. Oh.

I have never been so attracted to Cisco Ramon before. Clearly I have been a fool.

Heee she raised her hand. "But Dad, I wanna punch stuff!" Most precious bean.

Errm pretty sure your Dad killed the Sand Demon, Nora. I don't care about DC's no-kill rule but that was not his finest moment.

Lmaoooo welcome to fatherhood, Barry.

Maybe a stern little talking-to wouldn't hurt at this point.

Whenever she says "Dad" my insides melt a little more.

Okay, Barry and Iris need to draw some hard lines between their professional lives. The investigative journalist cannot just waltz into her husband's CCPD lab and look through his laptop. Literally you could have done this at home instead of the lab. One day they're going to be accused of evidence tampering.

Shit like this takes me out of a scene unnecessarily.

Barry: "NORA ISN'T LISTENING TO ME SHE THINKS SHE CAN DO ALL THESE THINGS BUT SHE CAN'T, NEMO!"

Joe: *internally laughs himself stupid*

So this is why parents want their kids to reproduce. The sweet, sweet karmic payback. xD

(Fourth grade? Barry came to live with them when he was eleven. Also pretty sure Barry kinda hated Joe for a while what with having arrested his Dad and being traumatized. I can see him hero-worshipping Joe a couple of years later maybe.)

I can't get over how hot Cisco is. Bruce better not have burned his iconic t-shirts tho.

Aww, Caitlin. That sucks. :( I know the theme this season seems to be fathers and daughters but you should really talk to Iris about absentee parents who faked their deaths.

No seriously this is a great bonding opportunity for them! I need to see a solid friendship between the two main female cast members so bad it's been four seasons please throw me a bone

Oh, step twenty seven is hitting me hard too. I think I might actually like Ralph soon.

Okay, real talk. Yeah the superficial stuff can't distract you from the truth that your relationship tanked. But that whole cry on your couch for two weeks, get away to a seaside with friends, getting a makeover, buying new clothes, redecorating your living space - these are also rituals of grief and helps you cope till you get enough emotional distance to deal with reality. Superficial stuff is what makes life bearable, okay?

The other thing is to give relationship advice nobody asked for

Moving on.

I love that Cait and Cisco are always there for each other.

Awww Barry's showing Nora what a fuck up he truly is loool.

Oh my God. Season 1 Barry. "Sometimes for people with our abilities the most impressive thing is restraint." WE HAVE COME SO FAR. I'M LOVIN' IT! *prouds*

Yessss Iris being as smart as the nerd herd!

GO TEAM WEST-ALLEN!

Young lady, you roll your eyes at your mother one more time and we're gonna have words.

Kinda hate that in order to give villains a chance against speedster powers you gotta significantly bring the latter down several IQ points.

Baby got moves! Nice!

Barry! What about those moves you used to lay out the ARGUS guards??

This fight would be more impressive is I could see jackshit. Lighting, people!

Hmm. Did Cicada just have a "Save Martha" moment?

Nora is so scared and worried for her father, poor babb.

YES MARVEL REFERENCE!

Wait, so they got their powers back?

Y'know he didnt have to vibe that to realize the obvious next step is confronting Caitlin's mother.

Actually that sounds like respiratory problem. New villain - Halitosis.

Oooh Future Spoilers Girl knows who Cicada is

Aaand that's a wrap folks.

Ngl I had hoped for more "West" in Team West-Allen but this was a solid ep.

Please have Nora call Barry "Dad" as many times as possible k.

#the flash #the flash spoilers #liveblog #the flash 5x2

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littlemissonewhoisall · 6 years

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Justice League is really good, guys

Okay, let me be level with y’all: I hated Man of Steel. And I mean, despised it. Didn't like Batman V. Superman, though I thought it was slightly better. So far, the only DCEU film I liked was Wonder Woman, so as you can imagine, I didn't have too high hopes for a film by Zack Snyder, whose faux-philosophical brood-fests I despise, and Joss Whedon, who doesn’t always know when to tone down the humor and tends to use a lot of male gaze and other stuff I dislike. Combine that with a very generic plot, and I went into this movie expecting to find it mediocre at best.

I. Was. Wrong.

I don’t know how it happened. Two mediocre directors, a ton of behind the scenes issues, a bunch of questionable creative decisions, and tons of cut footage SOMEHOW combined to make a movie that I didn't just tolerate, but loved, in spite of its issues.

I’m gonna go more in depth under the cut, but here’s a brief spoiler-free rundown: Justice League is a movie that understands exactly what makes the JLA the most iconic super team in comic books. It combines some perfect characterization with great acting and some really fun scenes that more than make up for its dodgy cgi, occasionally uncomfortable cinematography (probably Whedon’s doing), and rather mediocre plot (probably Snyder’s).

I give the film an 8/10, and I think it’s a must-see for any DC fan.

Justice League’s first scene sold me on the film immediately. Superman actually taking the time to talk with some kids after saving the day yet again, being the lovable dork he is, washed away the bad taste in my mouth from the previous two movies almost instantaneously. Somehow, that one scene made the whole following montage of the world grieving for Superman incredibly compelling, despite how little I cared about Superman’s death in BvS. Of course, the movie very quickly reminds me of my issues with Snyder’s previous films when it shows us what is, in my personal opinion, the film’s weakest link: Lois Lane.

You have to understand something: I LOVE Lois Lane. She is my favorite character within the Superman mythos by a LONG SHOT. So seeing her reduced to this helpless shell feels so goddamn insulting to her character. From the beginning, Amy Adams’ Lois always felt like it was missing the spark that made her comic counterpart so great. She’s too gentle, too traditionally feminine, too much of a damsel in distress. Compared to her badass cynic-with-a-heart-of-gold comic self, I always felt this version of the character was a poor reflection of the original. But in this movie, she does nothing but mope around until Superman comes back. While her scenes with Clark after his return are good, they lack the perfect character dynamic that makes Clark and Lois my favorite couple in comics, and literally her only contribution to the plot is snapping Clark out of his rage when he gets in a fight with the League through some “power of love” crap. It’s really disappointing.

In addition, Commissioner Gordon feels like a real waste of such a great actor as J.K. Simmons. If you've seen the trailers, you’ve seen his role in the film. There’s nothing else there. He’s basically a glorified cameo.

The early parts of the film, while Bruce and Diana work to assemble the League, are great. Flash and Cyborg’s introductions are done perfectly, and while Aquaman’s is a little bit clunky, it still gets you interested in the character. As someone who was never really sold on the idea of Cyborg as a member of the League, this film made me really appreciate what he has to offer both in terms of skills and what he adds to the team dynamic. That said, I liked him much better when he had his hoodie on, because his overly complicated all-CGI body does him no favors. There was really no reason to make Cyborg CGI, and his design looks like a Michael Bay Transformer.

Speaking of unnecessary CGI, we’re soon introduced to our villain, Steppenwolf, who looks like he stepped straight out of a Halo game. Steppenwolf is... not a good villain. I did like his motivations, actually, but they were underdeveloped and his dreadful design did him zero favors. I’m of the opinion that his great-nephew Kalibak the Cruel should have been the villain, as it would have added a great deal of nuance to his motivations.

In contrast to the lackluster villain, the heroes are incredible. I’d say Aquaman was the weakest of them, but that’s really not saying much, because even he was a blast, especially in the final battle. The Flash is a highlight, as he spends most of his time in Superman’s spot in the main trio. This Flash is absolutely a joy. He’s clearly coded as autistic, yet doesn’t feel like a punchline despite being the film’s main comic relief. Admittedly, fans of Barry Allen will likely be a bit disappointed, as this hyperactive, socially awkward kid has little in common with the comic character outside of his backstory. Fans of Bart Allen like myself, on the other hand, will be overjoyed, as this is the closest we’ve gotten to a real adaptation of the character on-screen.

Speaking of the trinity: Wonder Woman isn't as strong a character as she was in her solo film, and most of what we get from her is just kicking ass, but she’s still great and feels pretty much like the same person we saw there. Batman is done very well, trading barbs with Alfred and generally being the emotionally stunted loser we all love. It’s obvious that his well-meaning control-freak tendencies are in full effect here, and it’s wonderful. But as great as the rest of the League is, Superman is easily the best part of the film. Holy shit, I was smiling every time he was on-screen. THIS is the Superman I fell in love with eight years ago when I first picked up All Star Superman by Grant Morrison. He’s a sweet, rather goofy dork who just loves people. The bit where he fights the League while still in a fugue state really showed off his powers, but after that his personality is what is most focused on. Yeah, that’s right, HE HAS A PERSONALITY. A huge relief, given his previous DCEU appearances.

The Justice League as a whole are great, but I’d be remiss if I didn't talk about the true star of the film: a random criminal Batman uses as bait at the beginning of the film. Holy shit, I love this guy. He gets ambushed by Batman, dangled off a roof to lure a monster from another planet, and sees Batman beat the crap out of it before IT EXPLODES. And how does he respond? He casually strolls up to Batman and chats with him about an oncoming alien invasion. What. A. Legend. I’m gonna headcanon he’s this universe’s version of Kite Man.

To sum it up, Justice League combines the greatest strengths of its directors, completely overshadowing their weaknesses.

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raichoose-moved-again · 2 years

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what’s your inspirational quote?

“ ... Yeah. It was.”

“No, actually. The effects of my hallucinogen worsen when one is under the effects of alcohol.”

#spectres of plague and pain ( kabuto yakushi )#and i say welcome to the show ( ic )#the ninjas are deadly and silent ( v ; naruto )#and it all adds up ( tag games )#alcohol tw #and all the fears you hold so dear will turn to whisper in your ear ( jonathan crane )#a hero's gonna save me just in time ( v ; dc )#long post

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hubskitchen · 6 years

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Hub’s Kitchen Episode 4: Why the DC Extended Universe Failed (DCEU Retrospective)

DISCLAIMER: This is a continuation of the previous installment of Hub’s Kitchen. Please read that episode before reading this one. Or not, it’s your choice. Also, spoilers for: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Wonder Woman, and Justice League.

What’s up guys, my name’s Hub, and welcome to another installment of Hub’s Kitchen. Episode, installment, same difference, this isn’t an academic essay now. In the last episode, I talked about some cinematic universes and what problems they faced or are going to face. At the end, I said I was saving one particular cinematic universe for this episode, and that it needed its own episode dedicated to it. Well, I’m gonna talk about that universe today. Prepare yourselves, as I dive into the horror that is known as: The DC Extended Universe.

If there’s one cinematic universe that can rival the Marvel Cinematic Universe in terms of popularity and success besides Star Wars, it’d be DC’s cinematic universe. The Marvel/DC rivalry has been going on since the 1960’s, when a good chunk of Marvel’s heroes were introduced during the Silver Age of comic books. Throughout the past 5+ decades, both have had their major successes and major blunders. DC has always had the advantage in the animation side of things compared to Marvel, but that doesn’t mean Marvel hasn’t had good shows. The Spectacular Spider-Man and Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes series are some of my favorite animated shows of all time. I prefer Marvel because of the heroes and how more human they are compared to DC’s catalog, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like DC. My first exposure to superheroes was the Justice League animated series from the widely beloved DC Animated Universe, and I’ve been a superhero fan since. In a perfect world, the Marvel/DC rivalry on film would be a monumental and huge war, both sides unleashing their various heroes onto the screen for audiences to love, and giving more fans more room for debate in the long-fabled who’s better debate: Marvel or DC? Instead, it’s more like Marvel is curb stomping DC into the fucking dirt. I feel a brief history lesson is necessary to really bring this whole thing into context.

HOW THIS ALL FELL INTO PLACE

Several years ago, from the 70’s to the 90’s, DC had the upper hand on film, especially with classics like Superman: The Movie, and Tim Burton’s Batman ‘89. Meanwhile, Marvel struggled to get anything onto the screen, with failures like the 1989 Punisher, the 1990 Captain America, and the cancelled, but only viewable through bootleg 1994 Fantastic Four movie. Then, Marvel went bankrupt in 1996, and to keep them afloat, they sold all the movie rights to all their characters to various movie studios. Sony got Spider-Man, FOX got the X-Men and Fantastic Four, etc. During this period, Superman already fell from grace with the 1987 bomb Superman 4: The Quest for Peace, and Batman would soon follow with 1997’s Batman and Robin, one of the most infamous comic book movies of all time. The genre would see a new beginning with 1998’s Blade. In 2000, FOX launched their first X-Men movie, and in 2002, Spider-Man came out, which is the movie that I believe is what started the comic book movie boom that’s still going on, and would be the template that the Marvel Cinematic Universe would follow. DC, meanwhile, rebooted Batman with 2005’s Batman Begins, which would later follow up with 2008’s The Dark Knight, which is often considered to be the greatest comic book movie of all time. Unfortunately, not everything was working out for both Marvel and DC. Superman Returns, the first Superman movie since Quest For Peace, while a modest hit, wasn’t the hit Warner Bros were expecting it to be, and today, Superman Returns isn’t looked at very fondly. While FOX successfully launched the X-Men onto the world of film, the Fantastic Four wouldn’t get the same level of success with both the 2005 film and it’s 2007 sequel, Rise of the Silver Surfer. Sony was also in a pickle with 2007’s Spider-Man 3, which disappointed audiences. Pile that on with Hulk, Daredevil, and Ghost Rider, and Marvel was having some pretty notable failures in their catalog. However, while Universal, FOX, and Sony failed with the aforementioned films, something huge was coming from Marvel Studios when Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk released in 2008. The first Iron Man had the famous end credits sequence with Nick Fury telling Tony Stark that he was a “part of a bigger universe,” and in The Incredible Hulk, we see Tony Stark in a scene of the movie, leading fans to believe that something was coming. 2010 and 2011 marked the releases of Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger, and in 2012, the culmination of all 5 movies released: The Avengers. The Avengers was a massive success, being that it was the first movie to make over $200 million in its opening weekend in the United States. The movies from Iron Man to The Avengers would later be known as Phase 1 of the MCU. Knowing where Marvel Studios is today, it’s amazing how huge they’ve become, making Marvel into a global phenomenon, at least in the realm of movies. This left Warner Bros pressured to make a cinematic universe of their own DC superheroes and get a Justice League movie out as soon as possible. However, this wasn’t actually the first time WB tried to set up a DC cinematic universe.

GREEN LANTERN

In 2011, Green Lantern was released in theaters. On the surface level, Green Lantern was following the footsteps of the first Iron Man: Taking a B-list character and making a movie that would set up the foundation of what would later be a cinematic universe. However, that didn’t work out for Warner Bros. Green Lantern was released to mediocre to terrible reviews, and was a flop at the box office, grossing $219 million on a $200 million dollar budget. Thus, all plans for sequels to Green Lantern were cancelled. The movie is often considered to be one of the worst comic book movies of all time, and was subject of a joke in Deadpool, with “Please don’t make the super suit green, or animated!” Good thing Ryan Reynolds got his big break with that movie. In 2013, WB released Man of Steel in theaters. Man of Steel was directed by Zack Snyder, who directed 300 and the live action adaptation of Watchmen in 2009. The head writer was David Goyer, who wrote for the Dark Knight trilogy, and one of the producers was Christopher Nolan, the director of the Dark Knight trilogy. *In Bubsy voice* How could any of this possibly go wrong?

MAN OF STEEL

It could go wrong, but not horribly wrong. Instead of releasing to rave reviews, and making over a billion dollars at the box office, Man of Steel released to mixed reviews, and in WB’s eyes, underperformed at $668 million dollars. To this day, Man of Steel is one of the most divisive comic book movies of all time, with some seeing it as a great reinvention of Superman, and others seeing it as a betrayal at who Superman is. Not exactly the foundation you want to build your cinematic universe on, huh? As for me, I side with the more negative reactions to Man of Steel, but not as much as I did back in 2013. With the benefit of hindsight, I see Man of Steel as a movie that could have been great, but it wasn't. The issue with Man of Steel, and the thing that kills the movie for me, is that they changed Superman to accommodate the world the DC Extended Universe built up, rather than have Superman be the character he’s always been. I’d be fine with a less experienced, more doubtful Superman, if after this movie, he slowly, but gradually becomes the Superman people expect. We’ll talk about that in a bit, but it didn’t help that the movie spent so much time telling us that Superman will be great, instead of just showing us. Given what we see, Supes destroying shit in Smallville and Metropolis, I don’t think he’s going to be great at all. It also didn’t help that the movie was slow as shit. I can take slow-paced stuff, but you need to really have me engrossed in order to deal with it, ‘cause a slow-pace can kill something for me. I could go on further, but we need to move this along. Overall, I think Man of Steel is mediocre, but not terrible. So, given how this movie underperformed, what do you think Warner Bros’ would do for the future? Hit the Batman Emergency button, of course! Because Batman did wonders for Warner Bros with the Dark Knight trilogy, they decided to put Batman in the follow-up to Man of Steel. But they couldn’t stop at just putting a Batman and Superman conflict into this movie. They also needed to add Wonder Woman, ‘cause the DC Trinity needs to be on screen now that The Avengers got their movie. That still wasn’t enough, however. Let’s take elements of The Dark Knight Returns and Death of Superman storylines and adapt them. Okay, this could still work. Hold on! We need to let the audience know that Justice League is coming, so let’s put in Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg into a scene that literally advertises their films and the Justice League movie. Now we need to double down on the dark and gritty tone people were divided with on Man of Steel, and let’s try to be even more profound and deep, unlike that stupid kiddy Marvel crap that’s successful for some reason. This is for the intellectually elite, motherfuckers! This movie will be a masterpiece! It’ll mop the floor with that stupid Marvel movie, Captain America: Civil War! People will love our movie, right?!

BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

Haha, ha, WB executives are fucking hilarious. Batman v Superman, which I’m just going to refer to as BvS from now on for simplicity’s sake, released to negative reviews and was even more divisive than Man of Steel with audiences and fans. WB wanted this movie to make $1.1 billion, which is what Captain America: Civil War would end up making. Instead, despite a strong opening weekend, BvS had the second largest opening weekend drop off, with 2003’s Hulk still retaining that record. BvS would only end up making $872 million at the box office, which WB labeled as another underperformer. In my humble opinion, BvS is the worst comic book movie I’ve ever seen, and is a good contender for the worst of its genre. “But Hub,” I hear some of you say, “Wasn’t Age of Ultron accused of the same issues BvS had? Why did that film still end up being successful?” A few reasons. Age of Ultron, despite it not receiving rave reviews like the first Avengers movie did, still received fairly positive reviews and word of mouth, and still made $1.4 billion at the box office, which is less than the $1.5 billion the first Avengers made. That’s diminishing returns, but not by a lot. Second, while I’ll agree that AoU isn’t one of Marvel Studios’ best films, as it suffered from studio interference, I can at least say that the movie wasn’t broken at the seams. It got derailed a few times (Hi, Thor pond scene and Hulk X Black Widow relationship), but it the characters still felt like themselves, there were some legitimately great moments (Vision and Ultron in the woods is a good example), and wasn’t trying to be profound and deep. It tried to tell a more grand story than the first Avengers, but it was never pretentious, even if the movie bit off more than it could chew. AoU had to do a lot, too much in fact, and the movie came out as a mess, but not a terrible mess, or even irredeemable one. It’s honestly a miracle that AoU ended up as good as it was, given the circumstances. Heavily flawed, but I can admire what it set out to do. Had to get that unnecessary, but also necessary “Marvel isn’t perfect” thing so I don’t get accused of being a Marvel or Disney shill. Christ.

Back onto the actual subject, BvS is a fucking trainwreck on every possible level if you ask me. Okay, maybe not so much the music, but even then, Wonder Woman’s theme is the only song that I can remember. Then again, I don’t pay attention to music when I watch movies, as I listen to those on my own time. The story was so badly told, and the stand out moments were so horrible, I’m shocked that this movie was approved with the script that it was given. This is one of the few times I think of my theater experience when watching a movie. Man of Steel’s theater experience made me sick with the shitty shaky-cam, but this movie made me angry while watching it, and I never get angry when watching movies, so you have to be really bad in order to make me angry when watching. Two moments in particular, the infamous Martha scene and Superman’s death made me want to walk out on the movie. I’ve never wanted to walk out of a movie before, so that was a first for me. I think the biggest sin BvS makes that isn’t destroying famous comic book stories and having some of the worst versions of Batman AND Superman, is that not only is BvS slow to the point of boring, with very little of actual importance happening, but the movie tries to be so profound in its messages and imagery, like this is some fucking college arthouse film. A lot of people say the worst thing a movie can be is be boring. I respectfully disagree. For me, the worst thing a movie can be is be boring and trying to act like it’s so smart with its themes. The whole god amongst humans thing has been done to death, quite literally in the case of this movie, and the way it’s presented and written, comes off as overly pretentious. I can’t wait for someone to tell me that this movie is for the intellectually elite, while also saying that I need a high IQ in order to understand this movie. It’s why I prefer a movie to be rushed and have little actual meaning, than a movie that’s slow paced and try to be profound. This applies to bad movies only, of course.

There’s two cuts that exist for BvS: The one that was released in theaters, and the 3 hour, rated R extended cut, dubbed the “Ultimate Cut.” Yes, because the first movie about Batman and FUCKING Superman TOTALLY needed a rated R cut. I’ve watched the Ultimate cut, or more like I was forced to watch it because my brother made me sit with him and watch it. There’s a reason why I never trust the man with movies. But, how is the Ultimate cut? Well… it’s better… *sigh* Okay, it’s more complete this time around. It doesn’t feel like a huge chunk was cut out for no reason, and there’s more context surrounding the events of the movie, but does that actually fix the movie? Judging by my statement, no, no it doesn’t. Many of the problems that were in the theatrical cut are still present in this version: Batman and Superman hate each other for their own reasons but do the things they say they hate about the other, making them hypocrites, Lex Luthor’s plan makes no sense and is overly convoluted, Lois Lane is still useless, the action is still poor overall, Wonder Woman is still an afterthought, the title fight that the movie has its entire purpose riding on is still lackluster at best, the Martha scene is still stupid, and the movie essentially destroyed all hopes of a great Superman story by wasting the Death of Superman storyline. What else can I say? I fucking hate this movie, the end. Holy shit, that was a long section. How’s about something shorter?

SUICIDE SQUAD

This is gonna be a very short segment compared to the BvS one, but that’s because in a shocking twist, I haven’t actually sat down and watched Suicide Squad. I’ll still talk about how the movie ended up the way it did and how it was received, but I can’t actually comment on the movie itself. I’m also putting Suicide Squad’s history here because the BvS segment is long enough. Anyway, after BvS underperformed, Warner Bros panicked and decided to make a course correction with Suicide Squad. People liked the trailers, which made the movie appear to be DC’s answer to Guardians of the Galaxy. In fact, the people who made the trailers ended up editing the movie. Yes, really. The concept of the movie sounded awesome. A ragtag group of villains forced to do good things or they die is a really interesting concept and if executed well, could be seen as a new form of comic book movie. The anti-Avengers, you could say. However, that wasn’t meant to be. Suicide Squad was received about as well as BvS was, with some saying it was even worse than BvS. Seeing as how I haven’t seen the movie, I can’t comment on it, but given what I’ve heard, it sounds like a shitty version of Guardians of the Galaxy, both of them, and the sequel wasn’t out when Suicide Squad came out. At the very least, the movie was said to have been more profitable than BvS, even though it made $746 million at the box office on a $175 million budget. So, 3 misfires so far, and the best received one divided audiences and critics. The DCEU was in serious trouble, and there needed to be a miracle in order to save this franchise. Well, unbeknownst to Warner Bros, their savior, to a degree anyway, would come from an underestimated superhero, or should I say, superheroine!

WONDER WOMAN

Remember when I said that Wonder Woman was an afterthought in BvS? Well, she was, but she had a movie coming out. I find it funny that we live in a world where the Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, Deadpool, the Suicide Squad, and Doctor Strange got their own movies before Wonder Woman, the third member of the DC Trinity. The world is weird. Diana’s movie came out, and it blew away expectations. Not that they were high to begin with, but let’s not be so cynical here. Wonder Woman released to great reviews and audiences loved it. The movie made over $412 million dollars at the U.S. box office, more than any of the Marvel Studios films at the same box office, and outperformed Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man for the highest grossing superhero origin movie, and Spidey held the record for 15 years. The movie would end up making $821 million dollars at the global box office, making it the second highest grossing movie in the DCEU, with BvS being the highest grossing, but unlike BvS, Wonder Woman didn’t underperform and was a huge hit. So, what did I think of Wonder Woman? Well, gotta give credit where credit is due, but the DCEU has an installment where I can confidently call good. Diana herself was better characterized than she was in BvS. My favorite scene in the movie is when she and Steve Trevor are about to go to No Man’s Land, but before they embark on the train ride there, Diana gets ice cream from an ice cream vendor, and tells the ice cream man that he’s wonderful. This is something that this franchise has been sorely lacking: Little touches. The movie also used the dark and gritty motif of the DCEU correctly. This is because the movie was set during World War 1, which was a shitty time, and we had Themyscira, a bright and colorful place to contrast with the shitty London and battlefields. The first two acts, minus the underwhelming action that relied too much on slow motion for my tastes, were well handled and even great. Despite what I said about the action, that No Man’s Land sequence was awesome. However, and this hurts me to say this, the third act happens. Ooooh, the third act. If there was one movie that was so close to greatness, only to have the ending nearly ruin it, it’s this movie. I know I’m going to be labeled sexist for not saying Wonder Woman is a great movie, but please, bare with me. So, throughout the movie, Diana wants to kill Ares, the god of war. The legend of Ares states that he’s the reason why mankind goes to war with each other. However, Diana kills General Stryker (I’m calling him that because it’s the same actor from X-Men 2), and she believed him to be Ares. I mean, to be fair, he was huffing up some magic powder or something, so I can believe that. After killing General Stryker, Diana sees that the humans are still preparing their assault. Diana is horrified to see this, and she asks Steve Trevor why the humans are still at war now that she killed Ares. Shortly after this, the real Ares comes and then the movie goes into the usual third act climax. Now, I don’t have a problem with third act climaxes. So, why do I have an issue with it here? Ares was mentioned being alive early in the movie, so what’s the big deal? I think it has to do with how the movie was written. The way the movie played out, it seemed like Diana realizing that humans are, in her words, “so much more,” than what they seem. This could have explained why she gave up the Wonder Woman mantle and stayed in the human world for a century. Not having a third act climax in order to develop a character, with the message that humans are much more, even at their worst, would have been amazing. Instead, the movie throws all of that away for a final fight with Ares and Steve Trevor sacrificing himself. It felt tacked on and cheapened the movie. It came off as rewarding Diana for being naive, which is something I hated about the movie. Her entire character arc was rendered meaningless because of that last act. There’s also some questions after the fight that are never answered. Now that Ares is dead, does that mean World War 2 and the Cold War never happened in this universe? If killing Ares ended all conflict in humanity, why is the world so grim when Man of Steel begins? This act single handedly derailed the movie. What could have been a potential masterpiece only ends up being decent in my opinion. I won’t go as far as to say the third act ruined the movie, but it does end up hurting the movie by quite a bit if you ask me. I should reiterate that Wonder Woman is overall, a solid movie, but the third act really holds it back. Now, let’s get to the fifth and final movie in this, I guess you could call it, DCEU Retrospective, the big JL.

JUSTICE LEAGUE

Fun fact: Did you know that there was going to be a Justice League movie long before The Avengers? The movie was called Justice League: Mortal, and was going to release sometime around 2007/2008, if not later than that. However, I guess WB decided “Naaah, we got our golden boyo Christopher Nolan here doing Batman movies for us. The audience will be confused if two live action Batmen were on screen.” Not giving the audience enough credit, I see? I mean, I’m not sure what happened, but I’m pretty sure you can look up a video Justice League: Mortal.

Justice League faced tons of behind the scenes problems. There were talks of Ben Affleck (aka, DCEU Bats) directing which never went through, the movie being completely reworked just mere weeks before shooting began because of BvS’s terrible reception, Joss Whedon (the guy who wrote and directed the first two Avengers movies) taking over as director and reworking the movie after Zack Snyder tragically lost his daughter from suicide, etc, etc, etc. Now, I’m not saying a movie that has behind the scenes problems is doomed to failure. After all, A New Hope had several behind the scenes problems, with George Lucas even writing the film off before it premiered, and look at how well that movie ended up turning out. Although I was livid after BvS and missed Suicide Squad, Wonder Woman gave me some hope that Justice League wouldn’t be that bad. Well… I was sort of right on that.

Let me get one thing straight: Justice League is a terrible movie. The story reeks of “Been there, done that, seen it before, seen it better, and will see it better in the future.” The characters were flat at best, and irritating at worst (looking at you, second-rate MCU Spider-Man aka Flash), and the villain is one of the worst I’ve ever seen (seriously, Steppenwolf is a fucking mid-boss, so why is he the big bad of 4 years?). To top it off, the film is a tonal and visual mess, and what I mean by the latter is that Joss Whedon’s Avengers-esc style clashes heavily with Zack Snyder’s supposed deep and dark vision. Justice League comes off as, to quote one of my favorite YouTube channels, Midnight’s Edge “A Frankensteinian abomination.” That being said, at least the film didn’t try to shove philosophical messages down my throat or try so fucking hard to be deep and meaningful, so JL’s already better than Man of Steel and BvS in that regard. I also liked that we finally got a Superman that actually felt like Superman should instead of what MoS and BvS tried to make him be. I left Justice League feeling… indifferent, I guess? I didn’t like it, but I didn’t hate it either. All I know is that I should have been feeling a lot more positive about this movie than I actually did. The Justice League animated series from the DC Animated Universe was my introduction to superheroes, and I still think holds up wonderfully today. I may have not been a fan of how Season 1 handled Superman in regards to the villains of that show, but I still think it’s a fantastic show. It’s a fucking shame that Warner Bros essentially failed to make a movie worthy of the name: Justice League. To make Justice League look even of a failure, we’re gonna have to talk about box office again.

Wanna know how much Justice League costed to make, including reshoots? $300 million. Justice League is the second most expensive movie ever made, with Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides being the most expensive. Want to know how much money it made, or has made so far? $655 million. Yes, only that much. On its opening weekend in America, it made $93 million. It couldn’t even make $100 million! It took the movie a fucking month to make the same amount The Avengers made in its opening weekend. If that’s not a “Get fucked, DC,” I don’t know what is. So, now that I spent this entire time going over each DCEU movie in detail (sorry that this has been so long to begin with), it’s now time to answer the question: Why did the DC Extended Universe fail?

WHY THE DCEU FAILED

If you ask me, the main reason the DC Extended Universe failed was because Warner Bros didn’t have a set plan or a person with a vision to keep the universe in tact. The reason Marvel Studios and the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been consistently successful is because of one man, and that man is Kevin Feige. Originally being a producer for the early X-Men and Spider-Man movies, along with other Marvel films, he was the brainchild behind the MCU, and has been an executive producer for each movie in the MCU so far. When a movie doesn’t measure up to the rest, which was the case with Thor: The Dark World, the MCU didn’t go into a panic and have the next few movies affected by Thor 2’s failings. Instead, the franchise carried on, and all the problems of The Dark World were addressed and mostly solved with Thor: Ragnorok. DC, meanwhile, doesn’t have a Kevin Feige. Warner Bros made the choice to make the DCEU director-driven, rather than producer-driven. The problem with making a mega-franchise with multiple franchises inside is that you need to have them be producer-driven to have a consistent vision. I know that a common complaint with the MCU is that it tends to revolve around a single formula, often referred to as the “Marvel Formula,” but a consistent vision needs to be in check to keep things in line. Having director-driven movies is good, but can lead to a clash of visions. Maybe I should do a Hub’s Kitchen episode on that. Hmm… Because of BvS’s failings, Suicide Squad and Justice League had to be radically altered during shooting and post-production, rather than before shooting and during pre-production, which was the case of Thor: Ragnorok going in a different direction than the previous Thor films.

I also feel that not sticking to what made the characters so beloved is another reason the DCEU failed. I’ve always been one to say that accuracy doesn’t make a movie good, but even so, I still believe that the main point of the character should be completely in tact. Marvel Studios has done a great job at this, even when they had to slightly rework characters like Spider-Man for example. Despite him having a tech suit made by Tony Stark, Peter still made his original suit, his web shooters, webbing, is still a smart kid, and relatable. Meanwhile, the DCEU decided “Hey, you know Superman? Yeah, let’s make him a complete brooding asshole and have him kill people for no reason other than its cool.” Or “Hey, you know Batman? Yeah, he’s a killer now and then suddenly he’s a third-rate Tony Stark wannabe.” Even better “Hey, you know Flash? Barry Allen Flash? We’re gonna make him Wally West and make him incredibly annoying, because COMEDY!” Thankfully, Wonder Woman got off pretty well. I know nerds like me are the only people who read comic books, but as far as an adaptation is concerned, we want the core basics of the characters to be intact. The DCEU didn’t do that, and a lot of fans jumped ship. Audiences were also alienated, mainly because for Man of Steel and BvS, the heroes weren’t acting like heroes, or people for that matter. I think that covers that whole dilemma, and now, it’s time to wrap everything up.

CONCLUSION

I’m sorry that this episode was as long as it was. I just feel that I needed to go in-depth as to why I felt the way I did and why the DCEU failed. I love superheroes. I’d go as far as to say superhero stories are my favorite kind of stories. I grew up with superheroes, okay, mostly Spider-Man, but still. So I hope you all can understand why I hated the DCEU as much as I did, and why it ultimately failed. I feel like whenever people generalize others who love the MCU and hate the DCEU as them saying “Marvel can do no wrong,” are missing the point. It’s not that we believe Marvel can do no wrong. It’s that we want good representations of the heroes we read and love, so maybe the average Joe can understand why we love these funny books so much. Whatever issues the MCU has can (mostly) be forgiven because the good stuff outweighs the bad. The DCEU, however, has only one good movie to its name and a few droppings of brilliance in an otherwise mediocre DC universe.

Wow, I got really emotional there. I’m sorry for that. It just annoys me when people generalize stuff. I don’t know what the next topic of Hub’s Kitchen will be on, but I can tell you all this: It’s gonna be a hell of a lot shorter than this, that’s for sure. My name’s Hub, and thank you for reading. *Checks Google Drive word count* Over 5,000 words. What the fu-

#hubskitchen

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