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feelingofcontent · 2 years

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DNP Rewatch: Doing Things My Parents Never Let Me Do As A Kid 2

Date video was published: 03/08/2020 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 409

The last pre-lockdown video, and a sequel to one he posted in early 2019.

0:02 - the editing of Kath creeping in from the side, lol

0:10 - the lighting/coloring is different on this one. his hair looks much less red

0:19 - mic is slightly in shot there but he must have noticed and fixed it because it’s not for most of the video

0:29 - he tries to toss and catch things surprisingly often for how clumsy he is

0:32 - um. what. took him a few seconds to react to that one

0:57 - that is a very specific childhood want

1:14 - that started terrible and just got worse 😂

1:36 - he is going to have a lot of broken pringles

2:02 - “sour cream is a bit sweet” what even. I mean, I sort of know what he’s thinking

2:16 - he gave up on the randomness factor

2:25 - I don’t think that sounds very appetizing...too many competing flavors

2:37 - he does not quite have together what he’s trying to say in this one 😂

3:06 - he thinks it’s good somehow

3:09 - also the barbecue was on the bottom so that makes sense

3:23 - that comparison makes so much sense!

3:30 - ...until the alien bit

3:55 - well that was an enterprising child

4:02 - rare for him to imitate his dad rather than his mum

4:13 - not very optimistic there

4:22 - snack intermission

4:31 - I actually think this is one he is slightly overconcerned about. they used to sell kits for kids (and still do, apparently) to do basically the same thing

4:55 - he really does not have a lot of patience

5:17 - well that’s not great. benefits of having the second flat and not actually having to cook in that oven I suppose

5:26 - it did shrink quite a lot!

5:45 - that looks terrifying, but also like something child Phil would love

6:03 - love that he went with a tie-dye kit that looks like it was specifically made for a middle school sleepover

6:11 - Phil tattoo when?!

6:15 - had to go with “lubricate it” instead of just “wet it” there. okay

6:29 - the accidentally filming. he just plowed right through the plant there 😂

6:43 - I mean...that’ll work

6:54 - also the colors I would go for

6:56 - he never used to show the bottom half of that apron. post-coming-out though!

7:05 - of course he’s already got dye on his hands. not surprised at all

7:15 - that was very close to a Phil swear

7:40 - oooo, pretty colors

7:44 - he really did almost miss the chair entirely there, yikes

7:49 - no patience

7:58 - glasses Phil! also, his quiff looks messier

8:14 - why does it seem like he attempts to do so much without his glasses

8:19 - I feel like he could have used more dye, but it does look pretty good!

8:35 - “the moment a Teletubby got hit by a car” ...don’t even know what to say to that

8:39 - okay, I can see that somehow

8:45 - I love that after the tie-dye he just gave up on filming and finished the whole rest of the video the next day

9:13 - he really should have gone with deep fried oreos. that is the best thing

9:33 - “I never know what a table spoon is...this is a spoon that’s been on the table” lmao 😂 no wonder the baking doesn’t go well

9:53 - didn’t need to say it like that but here we are

10:09 - I would eat that; it looks pretty good with the melty chocolate

10:25 - yeah not sure about that...too melty. maybe if you froze the marshmallow first?

10:30 - and that just looks/sounds gross

10:42 - well he made a mess but at least he didn’t injure himself

11:19 - it’s just sugar

11:44 - that must have been pretty bad. fake strawberry flavor with that batter did not sound appealing, let alone the texture

12:14 - didn’t mention ‘naked’ quite enough in the last video...had to in the promo here too 😂

12:25 - blooper clip! hasn’t included one of those at the end for a while...how did he keep messing it up that exact same way. what was happening in his brain?

This is a cute Phil video! Not trying anything too extreme here. There are a lot of other more memorable videos from 2020 for me, even though this is good.

Phil had also attended VidCon London at the end of February, where he recorded a podcast and participated in a fun science demo. The first major YouTube event he had attended without Dan in years.

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #amazingphil #phil lester #amazingphil videos #Doing Things My Parents Never Let Me Do As A Kid 2 #cw food

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farty-city · 3 years

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inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say.

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up”

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty”

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

panic attack

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content?

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade. John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy.

I hope this has given him peace

#i am so sorry for clogging the feed #bo burnham #inside #inside bo burnham #make happy #what.#words words words #bo fo sho #oh bo

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daimonhalos · 3 years

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Aight this is the second time I watch it but I'm gonna do a commentary on the latest bad's lore stream! Just for funsies, I might have honestly already forgotten some stuff so I wanna keep my thought process :3 let's go, commentary under the cut.

There's also some small theories/analysis in some points but nothing too much, just me rambling cause pain.

The pre stream song. Faster and Bad never change please.

I love so so so much the ominous soundtracks he puts as background for lore man it's just so coooool.

Reality check pre/post lore my beloved 💜

that little meh eh eh. is everything

he's just on a boat at night and but can already see he's got shaders on, this means PRETTY VISUALS AHEAD. Also i really like bits beginning with the character alone heading towards their destined direction, it's just pleasing

HIM TAKING DOWN ANTI EGG POSTERS. KING SHIT

Can't believe I got to hear "muffinhead" in lore voice.

Not even inside the room and HOLY SHIT they covered it all with the red bricks block IM AAAAH IT'S SO PRETTY. Like before the vines were all put at random but now they're neatly placed and it's actually aesthetically pleasing? I love it

DANCEFLOOR DANCEFLOOR DANCEFLOOR

The table. is . so. is so . it's so prebby,,, help like i'd live there man

Bad being overwhelmed by the egg's voice and lowkey scared. FINE IM FINE

No other choice. And the way he repeated it like a mantra? Kind of like to convince himself? AHHH

SKEPPY. SKEPP

small,, small egg staircase

haha fuckign pain. p a i n. just pain it sounds a lot like Skeppy before actually stayed with Bad cause it annoyed him how much he wanted to hang out like old times,,,,, my heart pangs

IM JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU

I CARE ABOUT YOU *passes out*

bad scared the egg is skeppy's bff now /j (have to joke through the pain,,)

BADBOY i swear to god he knows his audience. he just does.

Bad doing whatever he can to even just hang out a few minutes with skeppy. Bro, the tears inside

"I'm comfortable right here." "Skeppy I know you are-" THE WAY BAD'S VOICE BROKE HERE HOLY SHIT LEMME CLIP IT.

He talks to chat. HE TALKS TO CHAT THIS MEANS WE ARE CANON THUS we are either little angels or demons around him or a mix or, we're particles that make up Rat ♥

"All of this is for him" okay stab me next time it'll hurt less

BADBOY STARTING TO BE CONFLICTED BECAUSE HE NEVER HAS A FUCKING BREAK

s- w- skeppy kept the egg alive? okay so ive been thinking about the fact that skeppy became completely red and like wow what if it kinda is that hes literally become a small part of Egg? like, i wonder if someone breaks it, if he feels pain

Skeppy so dry with his responses. stop i will cry

bad. bad why are you bringing up selfies to a lore stream bad-

"why are you still talking to me" "okay..." stop stop PLEASE STOP-

smol growls, he's getting frustrated

idk why but skeppy talking about the perimeters made me laugh it was just funny how far away he was and just started talking about it randomly

"i think it looked a little bit better before" thoughts being thunk

"what's it gonna take for you to stop talking to me?" literally i am deceased s t o p

STOP STEPPIN ON THE MAGMA BLOCKS SIR YOU'RE HURTING

Bad shouldn't be so happy about just having "one last walk around" with skeppy so he "stops bothering" him tHIS HURTS SO MUCH the egg has fucked them up so much

Skeppy doesn't hear it huh? Maybe it whispers different things to everyone

"I like how it feels" nooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP HURTING TOURSELF

so no dance? *slams phone on the ground*

When skeppy says his line about never seeing anything close to a party there, idk what it is about it but his tone just hits, man he's so good preesh

HE CALLED HIM ANT. BAD PLS YOUR BEING BAD AT NAMES IS SHOWING

"Oh my goodness you're going back to the egg" HE'S SO SAD. HE'S SO SAD CAUSE HE COULDNT KEEP HIM WITH HIM A LITTLE BIT LONGER HES S

"you know what? i invite you" i wanna read this in a certain way. The egg was feeling like bad was so frustrated he started doubting the egg, so it was like alright let's use skeppy to get it closer to I can manipulate this bad boy better :)) motherfuck

are they about to kiss-

egg cockblocker

"okay don't come back" end me rn

ngl when sapnap joined I got real scared for a moment.

"it's not about power! it's nor about control! i'm you friend skeppy!" "I mean ... you can think that" FUCK U NO IM NOT DEALING WITH THIS RN

"We're friends, right?"

"In your head we can be best friends, we can be whatever you want" BDI ANYONE??????? also whatever- whatever he wants? :eyes: okay sorry no ill see myself out

"We're m- we are friends sk-" M- MARRIED WAS HE GONNA SAY MARRIED DID HE PULL A QUACKITY OH MY GOD I HATE THIS GUY OH MY GOD /pos but also like in a bawling my eyes out way

the egg is more than just a friend? skep u good there pal do u have smth to tell us

"You don't know what it's like." OH HERE HE GOES. HERE HE GOES HERE IT COMES OH NO.

The way Bad stutters i really thought he was gonna say something REALLY IMPACTFUL

"I have done so much for you, for our friendship and now you're trying to tell me we're not friends anymore?" LEAVE ME ALONE

I JUST CAUGHT THE BLOOPER HE SAID ON ME INSTEAD OF HANG OUT WITH ME IM CRYING OH MY GOD BAD HOW DID U FUCK THAT UP oh my god I imagine him mentally going like oh my gosh out of all the things that could be messed up THAT WAS SO FUNNY

ahaha my dads are fighting help

"You think you've done anything? You seriously think that?" *looks at my fic where bad feels worthless because the egg said so* ahah... I'm sorry?

"You left me for a long, long long time before you even checked up on me, okay?" he's not wrong,,,, he's not wrong why does this hurt sm,,,,, "and now all of a sudden you care about me?" OH MY GOD PLEASE I HATE THIS EGG

I see them... i see them approaching the lava blocks..

"the past doesn't matter" the egg wanting to erase their relationship so much,,,, i wanna cry because then if bad doesn't have skeppy he just has nothing right and then,,, then he can be another empty vessel for the fucking egg I hate this mI hate this so much

Also!!! little things I noticed!! Bad taking away part of the vine and also mining a red block? Without being affected at all? MHHHH

"I just wanted us to hang out like we used to" BAD'S VOICE CRACKING AGAIN STOP I WILL CJRYSD

"I did all of this for you and I didn't want the egg to take that away" you see how fucking tragic this is. Like Skeppy sacrificed himself so his friend could stop being infected. Bad sacrificed literally the whole server himself included to get him back. And then it comes down to this. The egg separating them a thousand fucking miles away. I hate this it's so sad

the selfish bit please no stop

THE LAVA BAD THE LAVA PLEASE IT'S TOO CLOSE

the fucking shaking with rage thing got me BROOOO I LOVE WHEN BAD DOES THE LITTLE THINGS IN GAME

"IT'S JUST A STUPID EGG" FUCKING FINALLY YOU TELL HIM BAD but then oh no oh no would you look at that huh. cant fucking have shit in dsmp. the way he immediately just screams for him right after

YOU CAN HEAR THE TEARS IN HIS VOICE and also mine hi I'm sobbing again

BDI FUCKING CANON LET'S GOOOOOOO WE CALLED ITTTT

(Dreamscape?)Skeppy being actually concerned with him haha this doesn't hurt at all!!!

*stares at black screen* I'm fine.

Thank you for listening to my ramble I am hurting so much bestie

#dream smp #dream smp spoilers #badboyhalo #bbh #skeppy #death tw #mind control tw #ask to tag

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damn-behzinga · 5 years

Text

Toxic

Will's Friend Otis pt 2

Will Lenney Centric

part 1

summary- a look through social media as Will deals with his mental health

warnings- swearing, ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, my terrible writing, toxic "fans"

Instagram ● @/willneisalpha

[A video of Will on the XO podcast from almost a year ago. He says, "Yeah my flat doesn't allow dog's." And then it shows a more recent clip of him saying, "So I got a dog recently."]

willneisalpha So we gonna brush over this? Also he got Otis really suddenly like no warning or hints? wtf

23 Comments

georgeisdaddy ikr I was sh00k for like 20000 hours

5d • 3 likes • Reply

alexisgaylolzor Does it matter though?

5d • 12 likes • Reply

● @/willsbigwilly

[A series of photos of Will and Otis posted only a few days after the original one. The photo is of Will holding Otis like a baby that was originally posted on his story. It's the same one except zoomed in on Otis' collar. The last photo has a massive circle round part of the tag.]

willsbigwilly does the collar say 'ESA' on it? that means emotional support animal? is Will alright?

Comments

jasmine I hope he's okay :( the idea of him needing an ESA makes me upset

3 hours • 21 likes • Reply

It had already been a tense day for Will, with his newest post causing an array of suspicion from his fans, he was on the verge of a panic attack.

He had debated whether to delete the post but that would raise more suspicion. He couldn't do that.

Otis had one hundred percent attention on his owner and, yet, Will didn't calm down.

Will also had several meetings today which meant he had to venture outside and face the busy streets. Despite all her best efforts, Gee couldn't stop Will from leaving the house. These meetings were important, Will could not miss them.

So, although she wasn't surprised that he had one, Gee was horrified to see pictures and videos of Will having a panic attack online.

Fans were already speculating that Will was hiding something, so this really made them worry. Gee noticed some 'fans' were becoming impatient and angry, demanding to know what was going on. Angry tweets and posts were flooding in to not only Will, but Gee and their entire friend group. Otis' "ESA" collar now caused more drama and confusion.

Will spiraled when he got home. Becoming quiet and ignoring everyone. He tried to stay of social media but his Twitter hadn't been this active since his last video blew up.

American Idiot @/losermajorwannabe

just saw @/willne having a panic attack????? what the fuck? not a big fan but jeez man leave it for your home 👀

[Video Attachment: The video is zoomed in on Will crying as some random person helps him alongside Otis. The person behind the camera is snickering meaning the camera shakes bit it's still clearly Will.]

replying to @/losermajorwannabe

Sub 2 WillNE @/memetimez

How about you stop being so fucking disrespectful and take down this post? If Will wanted to talk about it he would've? ???

replying to @/losermajorwannabe

Lucy Stans Dan @/lucylastname

He could've told us? Is that why he suddenly got Otis? Is that why he's been acting off? SO! MANY! QUESTIONS!

"Hey Will we still up for filming today?" Alex's chirpy voice beamed loudly as he walked into Will's bedroom with Otis bounding in behind him.

Will rolled over to look at Alex and felt an ice cold dread travel down his spine. "Sorry, mate, I'm just not feeling it today?" His voice came out in a questioning tone.

"Wanna talk about it?" Alex asked and Otis jumped on the bed and wondered over to Will to nudge him up.

Will sighed as Alex sat at the edge of his bed.

"I dunno why! I've tried getting up, made my bed, cleaned up shit that was left out everywhere, fed Otis. And- for some fucking reason- everything feels wrong and I'm so tired and the idea of staying locked in my room forever seems so appealing!" It was true. Will did everything as normal, even posted some photos on social media but, for whatever reason, Will felt wrong. Tears ran out of Will's eyes as he explained. "I have tried to do shit today, I promise!"

Alex quickly reached foreward and engulfed his friend in a hug.

Alex rested a hand on the back of Will's head pulled him into his neck. As if he was protecting him, maybe looking after him. "Is this about what happened the other day? Because I can assure you that was not your fault."

"It's not that- it's probably adding to it but it's mainly my stupid head and my stupid, shitty thoughts!" Will went to claw at his forehead.

Alex quickly grabbed Will's hand and pulled it down. "None of that mate, c'mon. You've been doing so well." He whispered as Otis licked Will's cheek.

Will sobbed out a "I'm sorry!" as Alex stroked through Will's knotty hair.

"No need to say sorry!" Alex muttered. "How about you have a shower and I'll make a plan on we'll get through this." Will nodded and Alex helped him up and walked him to the shower.

"Do you mind leaving the door unlocked?" Will shot Alex a look.

"What you gonna do?" Will chuckled. "Nonse on me?"

"Oh fuck off!" Alex groaned. "Just in case you need Otis or me or something!" Will suddenly tensed.

"I'm not a baby!" He growled.

Alex raised his hands in defence. "Never said you were, mate! It's just in case!"

Will felt his cheeks warm up and he glanced away, snatching the towel that hang from Alex's hands.

Alex waited until he heard the water start running before he looked at the tweets. Disgust flooded through him. How dare these people, these 'fans' that Will like this? He realised Will had two options at this point.

"You can either tell them or ignore it!" Alex said as Will thew on a hoodie.

"I can't tell them mate!" Will exclaimed. "They will freak out and I don't want that!"

"It's either that or they get pissed off that your keeping secrets." Gee leaned against the doorway with her arms crossed. "It doesn't have to be a big thing? Just a tweet or something?"

"They're gonna pity me." Will groaned head in hands. "How can I deal with that?"

"They're gonna support you no matter what." Alex sighed, squatting down and placing his hands on Will's knees.

"I'm so scared." Will whimpered, curling in on himself. Gee almost cried, he looked so small. She rested a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay to be scared." She whispered, scared to break or hurt him. "But you'll feel so much better once you tell them."

Will nodded and looked up at them. "I'll make a video." He mumbled, slowly unfolding himself. "Not now. When I feel a tad better."

"Of course." Alex smiled.

They sat in silence for a bit, the only noise being quiet sniffles coming from Will.

"I might," Will's voice was croaky as he spoke. "I might go stay with my parents for a bit? I dunno, might just get away for a bit."

Alex and Gee nodded.

"Of course, love." Alex smiled softly. "Whatever you need to get better."

"Can I have a few minutes please?" Will mumbled, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Of course. We'll be outside." Gee smiled and walked out the room alongside Alex.

Will let out a soft sigh and stood up, reaching for his phone. His shaking hands clicked on his mum's contact and put his phone to his ear.

"Hello dear, you alright?"

"Mum?" Will croaked out before the flood gates opened.

"Oh honey, what's up?"

"I want to come home!" Will cried.

"It's okay, honey, you're okay. Can you tell me why?"

"Everything is so hard! I want to get away!" Will's sobs were becoming more erratic. "I want to go home!"

"Breathe for a second, okay?"

"It's so hard."

"I know dear. Can you breathe in for four seconds? Hold for six. Out for eight. Can you do that?"

"Y- yes."

"You're doing brilliant, sweetheart.. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Alright, darling, how about you come home tomorrow? We'll have a nice day together? And you can go back to your flat whenever you want."

"Okay. I love you." Will said quietly.

"I love you too."

That night Gee helped Will pack, making him pack a week's worth of clothes alongside a pillow because "It's a little reminder of home!". Will also had a mini mental breakdown when he realised that he hadn't pre-filmed videos. 'Mini mental breakdown' was Will setting his equipment up whilst tears streamed down his face and repeated "I'm a fuck up, should've thought about this." over and over again. Gee had to tell Will that he had already made two videos and that she could put together bloopers for him. She then told him to get Otis' energy out to distract him. This meant Will would run around the flat with Otis and throwing toys for Otis to fetch. Gee finished packing for Will and then stared at his empty room. She wiped away her tears before they could fall. She was going to miss him, she couldn't imagine how his closer friends were feeling.

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mycarlydotcom · 4 years

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Looking Back at iCarly

In...5...4...3...2...

Hello internet! This blog lives on, and so do I! My Nickelodeon heart still beats, and here I am in 2019, having recently finished re-watching iCarly…again. Admittedly, there is a part me still clinging to this fandom and I don’t think it will ever go away. So, I recently sat my grown ass adult-self down to re-watch the series, and I feel the desire to just talk about it.

Let’s preface everything with an acknowledgement to nostalgia and the impact it has on how we view things we enjoyed in the past. Nostalgia is typically viewed through rose colored lenses that disguise the truth about whatever it is we remember so fondly. I realize this, and fully acknowledge that nostalgia is probably the biggest reason for my enjoyment during this re-watch; but whether it was nostalgia or not, I have no shame in saying that I loved it. I loved every single second of it. Yeah it was a little cringey at first, (Honestly, that’s to be expected when looking back at shows like these with more mature eyes) but that feeling settled pretty fast, and it didn’t take long for me to fall right back in love with the show.

I love this show. I watched it frequently as a preteen into my teenage years (Around the ages of 11-15 I’d say). I watched until about Season 3 but I ended up falling off with it as I grew older; so I never saw anything from Season 4 onward during its initial run. Fast forward a few years later, and somewhere around 2013 an iCarly clip found its way into my YouTube suggestions. I don’t remember the specific clip, but it had something to do with Sam and Freddie (It may have been the elevator scene from iLove You). It caught my attention because I always remembered thinking that Sam and Freddie would end up together. Curiously enough, I clicked it, and that served as the impetus to make me watch the entire series. I watched it all, and I loved it. I loved it so much that I even made this blog dedicated to it, and other shows cut from the same cloth. I had my heart stolen by Sam and Freddie, and obsessed over the pairing like many others had done before me. I became so attached to the characters, and as corny as it sounds, I felt like they were my friends. I just loved it all. I was hooked, and the series known as iCarly ended up leaving a lasting impression on me. Going on that journey was such a blast; but like all good things, it eventually came to end. After a while I started using this blog less and less. I slowly stopped watching reruns of old Nickelodeon shows, and I eventually fell off completely. So now, we fast forward one more time and here we are in 2019, I have watched the series again, and it turns out that I still harbor that deep connection to it that I had before. The fandom still lives within me, and I’ve realized it will never go away. It is always going hold a place in heart.

Now that my long-winded introduction is over, let’s move on to talking about the show itself. Upon this most recent viewing of the series, I will say that in my humble opinion, the show peaks in Season 3. While I may love the series as a whole, I cannot deny that its glory days are definitely in its earlier years. During this re-watch, I noticed a subtle dip in the quality of show from Season 4 onward. It’s not like it falls off a cliff or anything, it was still very enjoyable, but it definitely felt like they were losing control. This trend continued in Season 5, and parlayed right into the final season as well. By the time you reach the end, it’s apparent they were desperate for ideas, or were just ready to move on. Again, it’s not awful, but it’s not firing on all cylinders like it was in the earlier seasons. There are a plethora of issues we could point to when discussing this, but I think the biggest culprit to the show’s decline in quality was the “ships.” That entire craze definitely had a negative impact on the series overall; even as a “Seddier,” I can admit that. I’ve actually previously, briefly discussed (Here) how I believe “shipping,” directly changed the original, intended story of Sam and Freddie; and I still believe that. The creative direction was undoubtedly influenced by the divide in the audience, and I don’t think that can be disputed. But regardless of the slight dip in quality, I will say that iCarly is still tremendous overall, and Seasons 4 through 6 still have their moments and some great episodes. Season 6 itself recovers wonderfully by the end, with the last five episodes of the series serving as a splendid return to form for the show.

iCarly was one of the most successful Nickelodeon shows for a reason…because it truly is great. In many ways it was a glimpse into the future when you think about the power of the internet and its ability to influence and create success nowadays. It capitalized on that ever growing popularity of the internet, and did so wonderfully. Who didn’t want to have their own version of the iCarly web show? Everyone did, it was the coolest concept. Couple that with the amazing cast they gathered to play the character’s we all came to love, and the show had a recipe for brilliance.

Let’s actually talk about casting on this show because it is absolutely tremendous…

Miranda wonderfully transitioned from the devious little sister, Megan, on Drake & Josh, to the lovable protagonist known as Carly, and she was perfect for the role. Carly is portrayed as the best friend that anyone could ever ask for, and Miranda fills that role so believably well. You truly feel that she cares deeply for all of her friends, and honestly, I think that’s just an extension of Miranda herself. All you have to do is listen to any of her fellow cast member’s talk about her, and it’s not hard to understand why she played Carly so well.

Then there is Jennette; what else can I say about Jennette McCurdy that I haven’t already gushed about on this blog? I adore her to pieces, and her on screen counterpart known as Sam Puckett, I adore even more. I’ve heard Jennette be critical of the show and the role she played, especially as she’s gotten older and distanced herself from the Nickelodeon bubble, but I honestly think she doesn’t give herself enough credit for pulling off Sam the way she did. There is nobody else they could have cast to play that role better than her. There are many layers to Sam Puckett, and while the show tends to shy away from truly fleshing that out, we still get glimpses of it throughout the series. It’s the biggest reason why I love Sam so much, and Jennette excellently captures that contrast within the character. Sam is a tough as they come, and rarely displays compassion or vulnerability, but underneath her rough exterior is a wonderful person with a heart of gold. Much like that character, it often seems that there is a lot more than what’s displayed on the surface with Jennette as well, curiously enough. She herself, is somewhat of an enigma (which I plan on discussing one day as well). The character, and actor are very similar in that regard, and I think that’s why Sam was so great. For the purpose of comedy, Sam is a totally over-exaggerated character, and much more of a tomboy than Jennette is in real life, but beneath all the comedic hyperbole, there are some striking parallels between the character and the actor.

Of course, there is Nathan Kress, who played the role of Freddie, and did a splendid job capturing the loveable tech nerd Freddie was; especially in the earlier years. Nathan also deserves major props for continuing to pull the Freddie character off as time went on because let’s be honest, Nathan matured into quite the handsome young fella right in the midst of this show airing. It was funny juxtaposition to see him still have to portray Freddie, as Sam might say, a “nub,” when he very clearly wasn’t. So again, props to him because he still made it believable that Freddie was just a big dork who struggled with girls and whatnot despite his dapper, physical appearance.

Who doesn’t love Jerry Trainor? He comes across as the most fun person to be around, and I have to imagine that working with him is a total joy. All you have to do is watch the blooper episodes, iBloop and iBloop 2, and you can see just how much fun he makes the work environment for all of his fellow actors. He, as Spencer, is low key probably everyone’s favorite character. He was the perfect choice to portray Spencer, and while he does all the whacky humor and eccentric behavior perfectly, he also captures the moments where Spencer needs to be a responsible adult, arguably even better.

And last but not least, Noah Munck as Gibby. From starting as a reoccurring character with a strange quirk where he persistently took his shirt off , to transitioning into the main cast where announcing his own name in exaggerated fashion became a staple of the show, Noah took this peculiar character and brought him to life in the most entertaining way possible. To quote Gibby himself, Noah made the show, “a lot of fun,” and provided some of the best laughs in series.

I cannot say enough good things about iCarly. It is an all-timer as far as Nickelodeon shows are concerned, and those who were part of the fandom know just how special it was. I’ll forever hold it in my heart, and remember the joy it brought me whenever I “need a laugh, cheer, or random dance.”

And, we're clear...

#icarly #carly shay #sam puckett #samantha puckett #freddie benson #spencer shay #gibby #miranda cosgrove #jennette mccurdy #nathan kress #jerry trainor #noah munck #mine

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thejohnthatgotaway · 5 years

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A DIFFERENT KIND OF 'KILIG' IN JOMALIG

[Exploring Jomalig Island on a DIY Adventure]

There seems to be a special kind of fulfillment in getting a chance to set foot in a hidden paradise long before the rest of the world gets to see its wonders — something that definitely makes roughly 12 hours of travel time worth the physical fatigue.

Home to unspoiled beaches, amazing rock formations and truly beautiful people, Jomalig — an island municipality in Quezon province which gained popularity after a KMJS feature — welcomes its visitors with a kind of love that weary souls [and hearts, too] will truly appreciate.

Day 0 × Sunday

Our group's original plan was to take the Manila-Real route through an Infanta-bound bus or van at Raymond Transport in Sta. Teresita cor Legarda, Sampaloc, Manila. Due to shortage of Manila-bound buses in Lipa City because of the Holy Week, however, we decided to hire a Lucena-bound van priced at Php1500. We departed at around 8PM and arrived in Lucena City Grand Terminal at 10PM.

From Lucena, we rode an Infanta-bound van which will drop us off at Ungos Port in Real, Quezon. We were on the road for at least four hours and the bumpy slash zig-zag way gave us all some sort of a headache. Fare is at Php250.

Day 1 × Monday

We alighted at Ungos Port at around 2AM and paid for the terminal fee [Php10 per person]. Luckily, we were way early for the first trip to Jomalig [which means that there are still plenty of vacant seats] which usually departs at 5AM. Ticket is priced at Php400 each. It includes a simple meal which the crews prepare and freshly serve during the trip.

The boat ride is physically tiring as it usually lasts for four to six hours depending on the boat's speed. Those who aren't really comfortable traveling on water should take Bonamine as it can really get bumpy. Waves, you know?

Finally, we alighted at Jomalig Port at 25 minutes past 10 o'clock, paid for the environmental and tourism fees priced at Php170, and headed directly to South Pacific Island Resort [SPIR], our home away from home for three days, through a habal-habal.

Habal-habal is the main mode of transportation in the island. Every habal-habal ride will give you the 'mapapakapit ka kay kuya' feels — the kind that will make you feel like your soul is trying to leave your body and there's nothing that you can do about it. Hehe.

Please note that it's essential to make the necessary arrangements with the resort of your choice before leaving for the island adventure. It's also important to note that supply of electricity is only available from 1PM to 5AM daily.

I chose SPIR after getting several recommendations from a few Jomalig travel blogs I read some weeks before our planned escapade. Jomaligins, a term used to call the locals of the island, also say that SPIR is among the top picks when it comes to homestays. Tejada's Resort, meanwhile, comes as a good second pick.

SPIR is also a top choice because it's situated along the coast of Salibungot Beach, right in front of a vast and amazing sandbar.

We did not bring any food — yeah, not a single pack of biscuit — as the travel blogs I've read made mention of how we can count on Nanay Lota for food. She's actually the cook featured in the Jomalig episode of KMJS. During our stay, she would repeatedly recall bloopers and joke about her experiences while being interviewed for the magazine show.

"Naglapel-lapel pa ako, tapos hindi naman pala ako maririnig sa TV. Nakakangawit kaya maghawak 'nung isda at lobster doon," Nanay Lota would always recall whenever she would be identified by tourists as the cook featured in an episode of the show.

Nanay Lota will cook any dish you want as long as main ingredients for your requests are available, and just charge each person Php100 each for a truly delightful and almost unlimited serving.

You may find her and her amazing family at SPIR. Just look for the kainan tagged as "Byahe ni Lota."

After lunch, we decided to take some rest in our assigned kubo overlooking Salibungot sandbar. We paid Php750 per night for a native hut which can accommodate 5-6 people. We all fell asleep and it was past 4 o'clock when we decided to head to the beach, experienced the crystal clear waters of Salibungot and played a set of 3 on 3 Beach Volleyball to determine who will lose and pay for our first dinner. Luckily, my team won the set. Thanks to my excellent sets and pancake saves. Haha!

We slept at around 9PM to prepare for the island tour which will start at 4:30AM. The guides told us we'll have to leave as early as that if we want to make the best out of the experience.

Day 2 × Tuesday

The habal-habal adventure with Kuya Bibi [my assigned driver and guide] began at almost 5AM. We had to start early so we could catch the beautiful sunrise 'diumano' of Jomalig. The trip to the first destination was quite long that the sun started to pop while we were on our way. It was indeed beautiful. You may check photos and video clips in the album.

First stop was at Jomalig Rock Formations situated at the far end of the island municipality. The place was so quiet, so calm that it will give you some sort of Batanes feels you may have seen in travel videos online. We needed to rent a boat that will take us to the hill which would allow us to trek and see how picture-perfect the island really is. Boat ride is priced at Php600 [for a group of six] on top of an entrance fee worth Php50 per head.

Next destinations were Pamana Beach Resort and Lingayen Cove which locals call as Little Boracay and Little Batanes, respectively. These were two amazing and unspoiled beaches that will force you to have hearty eyes all along. Little Batanes will make you feel wanted so bad — by the waves. The waves were like hugging you and shouting "Akin ka na lang." Awwwww. Entrance fees are worth Php30 and Php50, respectively.

From Little Batanes, we headed to Puno ng Walang Forever. This hugot tree (Dapdap, if I heard it right) gained popularity as 'tis situated alone in the middle of the plains. Tour guides will help you climb up the tree through a wooden ladder. A container for entrance fees [usually Php5 per head] is placed not far from the place. Locals and tourists have associated the tree to 'naiwan feels' of people who visit the place. Titos and Titas can well relate to this.

From the hugot tree, we headed to Sadong Golden Sand Beach for another beach experience. Entrance fee is priced at Php20 per person. This one also features an IG-worthy golden sandbar and a truly breath-taking view.

I think Jomaligins also know what it means to save the best for last. Last stop was at the 'We ❤️ Jomalig' marker in Salibungot Golden Sand Beach. It looks surreal, like a photo with an automatic filter. It was literally jaw-dropping and even if we don't really have plans of swimming because it's nearly 12 high noon, we just couldn't resist the temptation.

We left the place just in time for a boodle fight-inspired lunch which Nanay Lota promised to prepare for us. The serving of grilled pork liempo and adobong seafood sa gata on top of steamed rice was almost unlimited, and while we were expecting it to be more pricey than our usual meals, we only paid Php100 each. And we were like: "Seryoso ka ba, 'Nay?"

Besides the beauty of the place, Jomaligins are truly beautiful people. People will greet you with smiles on their faces even when you're trying to compose yourself while on a blazing habal-habal. We also expected commodities to be a bit pricey like in other tourist destinations, but no.

We spent the last hours of our second day in the island with a two-set beach volleyball match. The revenge-seeking team who paid for our first dinner used dirty tactics to defeat my team in two sets and forced us to pay for two pitchers of iced tea. Haha.

Day 3 × Wednesday

We don't want to leave yet, but we had to leave SPIR at 4AM to make sure we'll have tickets for the first trip back to Real. We all have commitments [meetings, training and the like] and we just can't stay longer this time, but we can come back. We will come back.

Indeed, there's a kind of kilig only Jomalig can give. 😉

#WhenInJomalig #SummerInJomalig #MahumalingSaJomalig #Jomalig2019 #ItsMoreFunInThePhilippines

#JomaligIsland2019 #MahumalingSaJomalig #ItsMoreFunInThePhilippines #Beach #itsmorefuninthephilippines #summer

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papermoonloveslucy · 7 years

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Lucy, the Coin Collector

S3;E13~ December 14, 1964

Synopsis

When Jerry finds a rare penny worth $16.50, Lucy and Viv decide to search through thousands of pennies to find a rare one and pay for a new coat and fix their leaky plumbing. They finally succeed but clumsily drop the coin down the storm drain in the street. To retrieve it, they must go undercover as sewer workers.

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carmichael), Vivian Vance (Vivian Bagley),Gale Gordon (Theodore J. Mooney), Jimmy Garrett (Jerry Carmichael)

Ralph Hart (Sherman Bagley) and Candy Moore (Chris Carmichael) do not appear in this episode. Chris is, however, mentioned by Lucy.

Guest Cast

Ray Kellogg (Policeman) played the loud, barking Assistant Director (“Roll ‘em!”) in “Ricky’s Screen Test” (ILL S4;E6) and later appeared in “Bullfight Dance” (ILL S4;E22). This is the second of his seven episodes of “The Lucy Show.” He also did two episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Just as in his other screen credits, most most times he played policemen, as he does here.

Monya Andre (Miss Ferguson, Mr. Mooney's Secretary) had appeared as an uncredited background player in such Oscar-nominated films as Imitation of Life (1934), Ninotchka (1939) and It's a Wonderful Life (1946). This is her only appearance on “The Lucy Show” and her final screen credit before retiring from the business.

Ferguson is the perfect surname for Mr. Mooney's secretary. It is Scottish in origin, a people stereo-typically known for being thrifty. Ferguson was also the name of the Mayor of Kildoonan in “Lucy Goes to Scotland” (ILL S5;E17). In “Lucy Gets Locked in the Vault” (S2;E4) Mr. Mooney's secretary was Miss Tanner played by Ellen Corby.

William Meader (Bill, Bank Teller) had appeared as an airport extra in “The Ricardos Go to Japan,” a 1959 episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour.” He made many appearances on “The Lucy Show,” most times as a clerk in Mr. Mooney’s bank, as he does here.

Mr. Mooney calls him Bill during when he is requesting $20 for Lucy. Meader has lines in this episode.

James Gonzales (Jim, Bank Teller) was a popular Hollywood extra who first acted with Lucille Ball in the 1953 film The Long, Long Trailer. He was previously seen on the series as Stan Williams in “Lucy Digs Up a Date” (S1;E2). He was seen in more than 20 episodes of “The Lucy Show” and 3 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.”

Mr. Mooney calls him Jim during when he is requesting $20 in pennies for Lucy. Gonzales has lines in this episode.

Tex Brodus (Sewer Worker) appeared in the stage to screen musical movies South Pacific (1958) and My Fair Lady (1964). This is his only appearance with Lucille Ball. He left the business in 1967.

The character is dressed in a vest and hat with a pushed up brim, very reminiscent of TV's most famous sewer worker, Ed Norton (Art Carney, inset photo) from “The Honeymooners.” It is possible that Carney was intended to play this cameo role, but declined. In 1968, Jackie Gleason turned up in full bus driver's uniform as Ralph Kramden in a cameo on “Here's Lucy.”

Sid Gould (Distracting Passerby) made more than 45 appearances on “The Lucy Show,” all as background characters. He also did 40 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Gould (born Sydney Greenfader) was Lucille Ball’s cousin by marriage to Gary Morton. Gould was married to Vanda Barra, who also appeared on “The Lucy Show” starting in 1967, as well as on “Here’s Lucy.”

A dozen background performers play the bank customers, staff, and gawkers in the street.

This is the first and only episode written by David Braverman and Bob Marcus. The two wrote exclusively for television from 1964 to 1969.

The date this episode first aired (December 14, 1964) actor William Bendix died. Although best known for playing the title role in “The Life of Riley” (1953-1958) on NBC, Bendix and Lucille Ball had both starred in the 1946 film The Dark Corner.

A still photo from this episode with Lucy and Viv in overalls was featured in the photo collage on the Official Season 3 DVD box.

A scene from this episode was included in “Lucy and Viv Reminisce” (S5;E16), a clips show retrospective aired during the second half of the final season.

The opening scene has Viv debating whether to have a second cup of ‘rust’ (aka coffee). In the mid-1970s Vivian Vance became a spokesperson for Maxwell House 'rust’.

Lucy is having trouble with her kitchen sink garbage disposal. It bears noting that these disposal units were common on the West Coast, but rare in the New York metropolitan area because they were banned by New York City law as a threat to the sewage system. The ban was finally lifted in 1997. While not totally unknown in outlying areas they were not at all common in the New York suburbs during the 1960s.

Lucy complains that she can't afford to call a plumber. Lucy has previously employed plumbers Joe Melvin (Stafford Repp) in “Lucy and Viv Put in a Shower” (S1;E18) and Harry Tuttle (Jack Benny) in “Lucy and the Plumber” (S3;E2).

Viv initially compares the geyser spurting from the sink to Yellowstone National Park and later to Old Faithful. Mostly located in Wyoming, Yellowstone features dramatic canyons, alpine rivers, lush forests, hot springs and gushing geysers, including its most famous, Old Faithful. The kitchen sink also erupted in “Lucy and the Plumber” (S3;E2).

An early road map drawn by Lucy Ricardo of the gang's car trip to California shows a planned stop at Yellowstone, but it was not shown on air or ever mentioned as being visited.

Among the items Lucy and Viv pull out of their handbags to offer Mr. Mooney as collateral are:

three earrings

a collapsible cup

Jerry's Mickey Mouse watch

Viv's faux diamond wristwatch (from her cheap ex-husband)

a tarnished brass compact Lucy said was jade

a locket of Chris' hair

a doggie bag of spaghetti and meatballs (which Viv snatches back)

a jeweled garter

Jerry's bronzed baby shoe (made into a bank)

Lucy's high school broad jump medal

Jerry's bronzed baby shoes were mentioned by Lucy in a season one episode, and were always on display on the top shelf of the bookcase behind the dining room table, even in this episode (see “Blooper Alert” below).

A visual gag about the many unusual items Lucy keeps in her handbag was featured in 1954′s “Bonus Bucks” (ILL S3;E21).

Viv volunteers to sing a couple of choruses from “Pennies from Heaven” or “Three Coins in the Fountain.” "Pennies from Heaven" is a song written by Arthur Johnston and Johnny Burke. It was introduced by Bing Crosby in the 1936 film of the same name. It has been covered by numerous artists, including Andy Williams, the same year this episode was first aired. “Three Coins in the Fountain” was written by Jule Styne and Sammy Cahn. It was introduced in the 1955 film of the same name and won that year's Oscar for Best Original Song. “I Love Lucy” actors James Conaty, Harold Miller, Alberto Morin, Vincent Padula, Mario Siletti and Norma Varden, were all uncredited extras in the film. Varden played Mrs. Van Vlack in “Lucy Gets Her Maid” (S3;E11).

Jerry finds a rare 1927S Lincoln penny that is worth fifty cents. Currently, that coin is worth between $1.75 and $125, depending upon condition. Jerry reads in a book that an 1887 Indian Head penny may be worth $800. Actually, most 1887 Indian Head pennies are fairly common (45 million were made) and only fetch about $2.50. However, proof specimens (only 2,900 were ever made) in excellent condition can go for more then $6,000! The 1912S penny found by Lucy and Viv is listed in their book as being worth $16.50. Adjusting for inflation, that would be equivalent of nearly $130 today. As of 2017 the coin was listed online for between $22 and $270, depending upon condition.

2,000 pennies weigh 5 pounds 14.5 ounces.

In 2001, the Merrick Mint issued “I Love Lucy” commemorative 24 karat plated half dollar coins.

Callbacks!

This is a slightly re-dressed and re-painted version of the Danfield city street used in “Lucy, the Meter Maid” (S3;E7). That episode's street also featured a florist, a restaurant, a realtors, a mailbox and a Danfield Cab call box. The parking meters, however, have been removed. The taxi call box was also seen in the train station during “No More Double Dates” (S1;E21).

Blooper Alerts!

Inconsistencies! When Lucy and Viv come back from the bank lugging the heavy sack of pennies, Jerry's baby shoe is already sitting back on the living room shelf, when it should still be in Lucy's purse!

Generic! Lucy's box of dish washing soap has no label on it. This is a contrast with “Lucy Digs Up a Date” (S1;E2), where brand name cleaning products like All and Whisk were seen on camera next to the sink.

“Lucy, the Coin Collector” rates 4 Paper Hearts out of 5

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flauntpage · 7 years

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DGB Grab Bag: Letang vs. T.O., Offer Sheet Nonsense, and More Hockey Bloopers

Three stars of comedy

The third star: Kris Letang vs. Terrell Owens. I wonder how this hockey player can do on turf against an NFL great? Yeah, it goes about as well as you might expect.

(It didn't go any better for Lars Eller, either.)

The second star: Darnell Nurse vs. Eric Gryba. Look, neither one of these are especially good roasts. I just like the idea that even NHL players fall back on the whole "your vs. you're" thing when they don't have a good comeback on Twitter.

Now I want to see Nurse move on to the next round to face Owens, just for the moment when his uncle shows up with a folding chair.

The first star: Kris Letang vs. Montreal. Hey, look at Letang grabbing two spots on this week's list. This time, he comes away with a clear win.

Normally we'd subtract points for sucker-punching a fan base that's already down, but… it's Montreal.

Outrage of the week

The issue: Once again, we're headed to an off-season where nobody signs an offer sheet, even though there appear to be obvious cases where one would make sense.

The outrage: This is stupid. If NHL teams were really trying to win, they'd be using this tool to improve instead of worrying about hurt feelings or whatever other excuses they come up with.

Is it justified: Yes, but only for Leon Draisaitl.

Settle down, Oiler fans. I'll explain.

It's true that the lack of offer sheets sure feels like a case of collusion, with everyone agreeing to leave one another's players alone. That doesn't actually do anything to keep salaries low—players get 50 percent of hockey revenues no matter what, remember—but it does make life marginally easier for GMs around the league who have to deal with unsigned players.

On the flip side, signing a player to an offer sheet is almost always futile, because they're basically always matched. In the last 20 off-seasons, there's been one unmatched offer sheet (Dustin Penner in 2007). That's it. Matching offer sheets is so automatic these days that teams make a public promise to do so in advance.

So even if you can get a player to agree to sign one—people seem to forget that part—you're basically going to make an enemy of another GM, temporarily tie up your own cap space, and create the small but non-zero possibility that your own RFAs become a target for retaliation. And all for a player that you won't end up getting, because again, the other team is going to match every time. You lose something, and gain nothing.

So what's the point?

Well, as many have argued, teams do benefit by creating cap headaches for each other. This is supposed to be a competition, after all, and making things tougher on an opponent should be fair game. But that's more of a theoretical gain than anything. Sure, the team you target might end up with a cap crunch that forces them to part with some other player at a discount, but who's going to get that player? Probably not you, and maybe a team you're fighting for a playoff spot.

So in a world where matching is automatic, signing an offer sheet is basically a waste of time. There's no point.

Except for Draisaistl and the Oilers. They're the one case where using an offer sheet to screw over another team really would make sense, and the reason is simple. The Oilers are really good.

They have the best player in the league in Connor McDavid. History tells us that means they're probably going to win a Cup, and probably soon. They already made big strides last year. Their championship window is open right now, and it's going to stay that way for at least a decade.

This was a rare chance for other teams to throw a wrench into the title-winning machine the Oilers are steadily building. Throw a $9 million offer at Draisaitl, force the Oilers to match it, and then let Peter Chiarelli deal with the roughly $3 million salary cap headache you've just given him.

I don't want to sound defeatist here, Western Conference teams, but there's a good chance that the salary cap is pretty much all that's going to keep the Oilers from running over you for years to come. The Draisaitl contract is a rare chance for you to step in and tighten its grip on them. Some Western team with cap space and hopes of winning a Cup themselves someday—like, say, the Flames or the Sharks or the Wild—should be looking for any opportunity to derail the inevitable. (Nashville, too, but David Poile has the other top RFA in Ryan Johansen to worry about, so we'll give him a pass.)

We've seen this before. Do you think anyone wishes they'd made life harder on the Crosby/Malkin Penguins back in 2007 or so? Think anyone would like to go back and launch a preemptive strike at the Kane/Toews Blackhawks in 2009?

It won't happen—again, these GMs are all pals and don't want to make life difficult for one another—but for once, it should. When the Oilers are skating around with the Cup in a year or two, don't say you weren't warned, or that you didn't have a chance to make it harder for them.

Obscure former player of the week

It now seems all but official: NHL players won't be going to the 2018 Olympics. Even though the league made that announcement months ago, many fans were still holding out hope, especially after it emerged that the 2017-18 schedule seemed to have been designed with some wiggle room in mind.

But alas, no such luck. Bill Daly shot down the schedule talk, and with Canada finally announcing a non-NHL coach and GM this week, it appears that everyone is moving on.

That means we'll be back to the old way of filling out a national roster: with a mix of amateurs, minor leaguers, and NHL players who aren't in the NHL that year for whatever reason. ( Cough, Iggy.) So today, let's bestow Obscure Player honors on a guy who didn't have much of an NHL career, but got to represent Canada at the Olympics three times: Wally Schreiber.

Schreiber, a winger, had a big year in the WHL in 1981-82. The Caps took him in the eighth round of that year's draft, a few picks ahead of Obscure Player alumni Todd Okerlund. Schreiber never made it to the Capitals, but had some success (including a 50-goal season) in the IHL. He joined the Canadian national team in 1986, and in 1987 he signed as a free agent with the North Stars.

Schreiber played in his first Olympics in 1988, scoring once in eight games. Canada had home ice that year but failed to medal, instead finishing fourth. Schreiber would make his NHL debut a month later, scoring in his first game for the North Stars and going on to score six goals in 16 games. He'd get part-time duty the next season, but managed just two goals in 25 games. That would turn out to be the last action of his NHL career.

He headed to Germany in 1989, where he'd play professionally for another decade, but he returned to the Canadian national team for the 1992 Olympics, scoring twice to help Canada win silver. And he was back again in 1994, earning silver again as Team Canada lost to Sweden in the infamous Peter Forsberg shootout.

All in all, Schreiber played 24 Olympic games for Team Canada—still among the nation's all-time leaders—scoring four times and earning two medals in the process. At press time, there was no word on whether a 55-year-old Schreiber was prepping for a comeback in 2018.

Trivial annoyance of the week

This week's trivial annoyance has been bugging me for years. It's going to bug you, too, so consider this fair warning: Feel free to skip this section. Seriously, I need to get this off my chest but you'll be happier if you go through life without having this question shoved into your brain. No hard feelings. Just head down and meet the rest of us in the YouTube section.

No? Fine, you had your chance. Here we go.

Why do we have two separate penalties for "holding" and "holding the stick", but slashing and slashing the stick are both just "slashing"?

Look, I warned you.

It's weird, right? There's no good reason I can come up with to have separate categories for one type of foul but not the other. You can't hold. You can't slash. You can't do either to an opponent's stick. So why treat them differently?

For what it's worth, the two types of holding are technically violations of the same rule, 54.2, but that rules specifies that holding the stick should be announced as such, and gives it a separate hand signal (it's actually the only penalty in the rulebook that has a two-part signal.) So this isn't just something that referees started doing on their own. Somebody felt the need to write it down.

Meanwhile, the rulebook just defines slashing as hitting an opponent's body or stick. That's it. One call, one signal, and we're done with it. The way the rule is actually called is kind of dumb, but that's beside the point. It's one call, end of story.

Anyway, this is the sort of thing that keeps me up at night when it's almost August, and now it can do the same for you. Enjoy eventually forgetting all about it, having it nestle into your subconscious for a few months, and then suddenly having it burst out the first time you see a "holding the stick" penalty get called in October and it makes you irrationally angry.

Classic YouTube clip breakdown

Much like pop music, the NHL sounded a lot better in 1990 than it does today. For proof, let's blow the dust off of the old VHS collection.

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This segment comes to us from the immortal Super Dooper Hockey Bloopers, which every kid got for Christmas in 1990 if your parents loved you. We've featured it in this space before, including its John Davidson-hosted musical interlude.

Look, I don't say this lightly: Super Dooper Hockey Bloopers is one of the five best hockey films of all time. I don't even think that's up for debate. I have the rankings as: 1. Slapshot 2. Super Dooper Hockey Bloopers on VHS 3. Youngblood 4. Hockey: The Lighter Side on VHS 5. Any footage of copies of The Love Guru being fed into a bonfire.

This bit is fairly simple. They're going to take a handful of highlights and slap some funny sound effects on them. But it was made with footage from the late 80s, so you can pretty much guess what we're going to get: dirty hits, ridiculous clutch-and-grab, and somebody getting a concussion that we all make fun of. Roll the tape.

We get a quick intro, highlighted by an "Oh yeah, Scott Stevens used to play for the Capitals" moment in which he sends Ken Daneyko airborne with a hip check. I'm going to go ahead and assume that this moment was extremely conflicting for this guy.

Next, we get an extended look at the Bruins doing, well, something. I'm not actually sure what's going on here, but Bob Sweeney is cranking his stick into something or other. Our funny sound effect is wood cracking and… wait, is that a baby crying? What are they implying here? This is disturbing, let's keep moving.

By the way, nine-year-old me will never stop thinking that having a guy named Asselstine is hilarious.

Hey, it's an Allan Bester sighting! Bester was fantastic. He was listed as 5'7" and 155 pounds, and I think that was overselling it. He also played for the terrible Ballard-era Maple Leafs, which led to Don Cherry's immortal line: "Allan Bester sees more rubber than a dead skunk on the Trans-Canada Highway."

Next comes my favorite moment of the entire clip: somebody playing "defense" against Wayne Gretzky. This being the late 80s, defense means just grabbing him and hanging on while he drags you around the ice, in this case accompanied by horsey sounds. We all laughed and then forgot about it, because that's just how teams like the Nordiques played defense in those days.

Seriously, that may not have even been a penalty back then. This is your periodic reminder that anyone who tries to tell you there's too much clutching and grabbing in today's NHL has only been watching hockey for a few years.

We get the requisite car crash effect for a pileup, a shot of Lou Franceschetti hitting himself in the head for some reason, and Derek King playing with his stick. Then comes what looks like it's going to be a standard Cam Neely body check, until—wait for it—yep, solid work by the rink crew in Buffalo as always. Bonus points to the cameraman for immediately panning down for the closeup of Neely's remains.

We get another hit, this one sending Benoit Hogue airborne, and I'm honestly not sure if the sound effect at 0:58 is supposed to be what I think it is. If it's a commentary on the late-80s Sabres playoff record, it might be a little too on the nose.

Huh, guess I was wrong. With only a few seconds left, we made it all the way through the clip without making fun of anyone suffering a head injury and… Nope, there it is. Pete Peeters take a shot right on the button, and he's down for the count. It goes without saying that we get some cuckoo-clock sound effects to accompany the moment, because we were all terrible people back then.

And that does it for our clip. Again, the entire production is a masterpiece, from the truly weird opening sequence to the various bits like the Dubious Distinction Awards. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] . DGB Grab Bag: Letang vs. T.O., Offer Sheet Nonsense, and More Hockey Bloopers published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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flauntpage · 7 years

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DGB Grab Bag: Letang vs. T.O., Offer Sheet Nonsense, and More Hockey Bloopers

Three stars of comedy

The third star: Kris Letang vs. Terrell Owens. I wonder how this hockey player can do on turf against an NFL great? Yeah, it goes about as well as you might expect.

(It didn't go any better for Lars Eller, either.)

Now I want to see Nurse move on to the next round to face Owens, just for the moment when his uncle shows up with a folding chair.

The first star: Kris Letang vs. Montreal. Hey, look at Letang grabbing two spots on this week's list. This time, he comes away with a clear win.

Normally we'd subtract points for sucker-punching a fan base that's already down, but… it's Montreal.

Outrage of the week

The issue: Once again, we're headed to an off-season where nobody signs an offer sheet, even though there appear to be obvious cases where one would make sense.

The outrage: This is stupid. If NHL teams were really trying to win, they'd be using this tool to improve instead of worrying about hurt feelings or whatever other excuses they come up with.

Is it justified: Yes, but only for Leon Draisaitl.

Settle down, Oiler fans. I'll explain.

So what's the point?

So in a world where matching is automatic, signing an offer sheet is basically a waste of time. There's no point.

Except for Draisaistl and the Oilers. They're the one case where using an offer sheet to screw over another team really would make sense, and the reason is simple. The Oilers are really good.

Obscure former player of the week

But alas, no such luck. Bill Daly shot down the schedule talk, and with Canada finally announcing a non-NHL coach and GM this week, it appears that everyone is moving on.

Trivial annoyance of the week

No? Fine, you had your chance. Here we go.

Why do we have two separate penalties for "holding" and "holding the stick", but slashing and slashing the stick are both just "slashing"?

Look, I warned you.

Classic YouTube clip breakdown

Much like pop music, the NHL sounded a lot better in 1990 than it does today. For proof, let's blow the dust off of the old VHS collection.

youtube

By the way, nine-year-old me will never stop thinking that having a guy named Asselstine is hilarious.

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