#Yasha Figures Out Friendship After The Nein

[icarusthefoolish]

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 Blooming Flowers, blooming feelings 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Summary: You used to be apart of the same circus that Mollymauk was apart of. You were always rather quiet and you kept to yourself. Mollymauk was the only person to really see you bloom in a figurative way and a literal one. You start getting closer and feelings start to blossom. After things went to shit you lose sight of one another and it wouldn't be years into the future that you would meet again.

Warnings: Mentions of the Husk attack on the Circus, Mentions of torture, mentions of SA, Caps.

Notes: She/her reader mentioned once or twice, OOC Mollymauk and the rest of the Mighty Nein maybe.

Word count: 14k

When you first met Mollymauk Tealeaf you certainly didn't know what to think of the eccentric Tiefling. You had always been what most would describe as a loner, you preferred to call yourself guarded but being as quiet as you were made Molly want to get to know you even more.

After a while you certainly started warming up to the Tiefling and he started to see your true colours shining through the icy walls you had built around yourself. He certainly saw now why most of the other performers called you by your stage name "ice Princess" rather then your actual name.

You and Molly spent the next two years building a relationship which first started as friendship and at some point evolved into something more, Mollymauk would never be seen without you by his side and he preferred it this way. Everyone around you could see how much Molly had managed to change you and most of them especially Mona and Yuli were happy about it.

The day when they stopped in Trostenwald both you and Molly spent most of the time of somewhere together, not even Yasha who you also undoubtedly became close with knew where the two of you had snuck of to. You were both hidden in a small part of forest not to far from where everything had been set up, you were both wrapped up in one another quietly talking and laughing.

You had to say you enjoyed times like these, times when you could just be yourself instead of having to put up an act for Hundreds of people to see. Molly definitely seemed to enjoy himself too considering the weird purr like noise he emitted.

But alas even the nicest of times had to end and you had to basically drag Molly back to the circus so you could actually get some practice in for tonights show. Molly blew you a kiss and you caught it with your hand silently laughing before Yasha tapped your shoulder and almost scared you to death.

"Yasha! You can't just scare me like that!" The woman in question let out a snort before shaking her head. "Where did you and Mollymauk run off to? We've been Searching for you." You simply shook your head "that's not important we're here now are we not? Now come i have to actually get some training in for tonight unless i want to embarrass myself Infront of the crowd." Yasha again let out a snort before nodding.

You had no idea what had happened but suddenly there was screaming and people running around panicked, you tried your hardest to see any of the other performers but to no avail, when you turned around you saw what you could only assume to be some type of monster headed your way, you didn't know what to do, yes you had the means to defend yourself with magic but the Magic you used was mostly show you never learned more then tricks to make the crowd gasp, so you did the only thing you could do, you ran.

Pushing through the panicking crowds and away from whatever that monster was, you had hoped that you would maybe find Yasha or better yet Mollymauk but in the chaos around you that seemed impossible.

You continued running until your legs couldn't carry you anymore, you had no idea where you were but you hoped that it would be far enough from the Circus and most importantly that monster or whatever it was. You leaned against a tree trying to catch your breath, you had no idea what to do, you didn't know where you were and you doubted you would find Molly, Yasha or any other performers or even Gustav again.

So you just let yourself sit and calm down, you hadn't noticed you were crying until you saw the tears drip onto your arms, you wiped your eyes trying to stop yourself from crying but nothing seemed to help. After a while you passed out due to the exhaustion.

When you came too you were moving, you didn't know where you were or how you got there but you seemed to be on a waggon. You looked around panicked before a Knife was held to your throat, you immediately stiffened. A slimy voice began to speak "I'd advise you not to talk unless you want things to get worse." You nodded quietly and the man began to talk again, you immediately realised that the next few days wouldn't be pretty. Time seemed to pass in a blur while you were trapped you had no idea what year it was or hell even if it was night or day.

You had been right the last years weren't pretty, you tried to repress the memories as much as possible but with the scars reminding you each and every day it was hard to forget. You basically lived as a shadow of your former self, instead of being quiet and withdrawn you became scared at the slightest noise and whenever someone would touch you you would retreat back,

Your eyes which held a sort of glimmer before were empty and lifeless, but you still held hope that one day you would escape the hell that was your current life, you still held hope that you would one day reunite with Molly however far in the future that may be.

You were woken up by yelling coming from down the hall were you "room" was. You would more refer to it as a cell but it at least had a bed, that was better then nothing. The window was barred, and barely any light came through the door which was made of heavy steal. You had the mind to just stay in bed and fall asleep, it wasn't the first time you had woken up to screaming the other girls held captive were treated as badly as you were.

Though you hoped that they didn't have to indure the touches of the guards that no one seemed to stop. But something about the screaming wouldn't let you go so you stood up, your weak muscles screaming at you to sit down but you went to the door anyway, you bent down wincing when your body seemed to burn with pain to look through the tiny hole in the door.

You couldn't see much but you saw a flash of purple, you heard more screaming though this was different it was the scream of someone dying, you had heard enough people die during your captivity. But the flash of purple made your heart stop, could it be that Molly had been Searching for you and finally found you?

You forced yourself out of your hopeful dream, for all you knew Mollymauk could be dead by now, this was probably just another Tiefling, but the prospect of getting out of this awful life was worth it for you, so even with your body screaming for you to stop you banged on the door, you yelled and hoped that someone, anyone would hear you.

Your prayers seemed to have been answered when something banged against the door, you just had the time to step back when suddenly the door flung open hitting the stone wall with such force that the stone began to crack. In front of you stood an ork about 3 times your size, you backed down in fear, yes you wanted to escape but what if this was just another man trying to defile you.

Next to the Ork was a woman much smaller with blue skin, she held out her hands to calm you "shh it's alright, were not here to hurt you." You stepped back your mind still wirring with the possibilities of them hurting you, you didn't even hear what they were saying and back away further until your back was against a wall.

Both Jester and Fjord were trying to calm you down when Yasha stepped into the Cell intent on figuring out what was happening. When she saw the person cowering against a wall her eyes widened, you reminded her of someone she used to know and when she actually looked closer she realized that it was actually you. Yasha hadn't seen you since the Husk attack back in Trostenwald and she wanted to approach but seeing the look in your eyes she knew that her coming closer would only scare you more.

She also knew that there was only one way to snap you out of the state you were in, and she wasn't even sure that would work. She turned around before Yelling "MOLLYMAUK GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

You were still cowered against the wall and didn't even notice Yasha stepping in, you curled into yourself more when she yelled so much so that you didn't even hear the name she was saying. You could faintly hear the two people who were standing before you yelling at Yasha to shut up when suddenly everything went silent.

You looked up and saw the face of the person you thought you would never see again, your breathing stopped and you blinked, you were desperately hoping that this was real and not just a trick of your mind, when Molly turned into the direction Yasha was pointing he stilled, even with the years of being apart, and you certainly looking worse for ware he still recognised you.

You slowly uncurled, your mouth opening before you could get anything out you crumpled on the floor letting out a heart shattering sob. The minute you crumpled you felt two hands on you and that smell that was Mollymauk enveloped you, your hands immediately clutched his arms and you basically threw yourself against him, you were shaking and crying but you couldn't seem to care. The years of torture were finally over, you were finally reunited with Molly.

The Tiefling in question pulled you against him his head resting on your hair, the never thought he would see you again, after what happened in Trostenwald he was sure you were dead, but seeing you now in a cell, frail and barely holding together he couldn't be Happier. He didn't even care that Jester Fjord and Yasha were in the room he was just glad you were alive.

You looked up your shaking hands touching his face, you still didn't quite want to believe this was real, Molly's hand enveloped yours and you let out a sob, tears continuosly falling down your cheeks. The rest of the Mighty Nein came to the room as well, Nott, Beau and Caleb looking just as confused as Jester and Fjord. Yasha simply shook her head and led them out promising to explain a bit later.

When you had finally calmed yourself enough to speak you looked up at Molly "y-your real? Th-this....this isn't a dream?" Your entire body was shaking and you tried your best not to cry again. "It's real darling im here... Your safe now." You let out another sob trying your hardest to stay composed, you hid your head in his neck and he shushed you. "Let's get you out of here love i promise your safe now." He kissed the top of your head and picked you up, you were clinging onto him not willing to let go if this was in fact just a trick of your mind.

When he stepped outside of the Cell everyone else was looking at him questioningly, he just shook his head. Yasha nodded and started leaving the rest of the group following, Mollymauk stayed at the back of the group still holding you, rubbing circles along your back.

When the group arrived back at their current camp you had already fallen asleep, Molly and Yasha guessed it was due to exhaustion, so Molly layed you down on his bed rolle to hopefully let you rest while he and Yasha explained what was going on. You awoke soon after and looked around in a state of Panic, your mind not yet registering that you were safe now, when you heard quiet talking and the crackling of fire you curled into yourself before you realized what happened before you passed out.

You weren't in that cell anymore, you weren't subjected to torture and Assault of different kinds, Molly was alive and he came to save you. You were shaking trying to get your mind to calm down when a sudden flash of purple skin caught your attention, you looked up to see Mollymauk looking at you with worry in his eyes, he held out his hand "hey love...you ok?"

You blinked before nodding and immediately hugging him. He was startled for a second before wrapping his arms around you. "Shh everything's alright." He smiled running his hand over your head. "The rest of the group wants to meet you, is that alright? We have some questions." You nodded slightly "as as long as i get to stay with you." He nodded pulling you closer "im not letting you go, never again."

The two of you made your way to a fireplace, Molly sat down pulling you into his lap almost immediately. You looked to the group and your eyes immediately landed on Yasha, you smiled at her your eyes tearing up again, Yasha smiled back before urging you to talk. You swallowed before sighing. "T-thank you..." The group seemed startled at you talking all their eyes landing on you. Everything was quiet for a few minutes before Caleb was the first to speak up.

"So... From what we've gathered from both Yasha and Mollymauk..." He stopped thinking about what to say next. "You knew each other right?" You nodded before speaking "y-yes we did... We all belonged to The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities. I met Mollymauk and Yasha there" Molly was the next to speak "I spent 2 years getting to know her. During the Husk attack in Trostenwald both me and Yasha lost sight of her.

We don't know what happened with her after that." You began to speak again "well... After i saw a Husk i think you called it? I ran, i ran as far as my legs would carry me before stopping somewhere in the middle of a Forrest without knowledge of where i was or where the rest of you were. I passed out at some point and the next thing i remember is waking up in a moving cart and a knife being held to my throat." Molly stiffened at that.

"I was captured by bad people...they... They tortured me day in day out lashing me with whips, cutting me open and other terrible things. I... was used for my abilities and they used my body in the worst ways imaginable." Your body shook as you forced yourself to remember what those men did to you, tears started streaming down your face again and Mollymauk just pulled you closer trying to calm you down.

The rest of the group all seemed to share the look of shock that Jester was wearing, even Yasha and Beau were wide eyed with shock. Molly could barely contain his anger at what those people had done to you, he was trying so hard not to get angry that he hid his head again. "But but it's over now, you saved me from that fate and... I-i cannot thank you enough for that." Mollymauk wanted to answer but due to the sheer anger he was feeling he was unable to. He didn't want to scare you more then you already were.

After a brief silence Fjord was the first to answer "No need to thank us. We're happy we could help and from the looks of it you aren't the only one who is thankful." He took a glance at Molly who was still holding you before moving onto Yasha who just smiled. You nodded slightly before looking to Molly, you were always abel to tell when something was up with him and one look in his face confirmed your thoughts.

You leaned to his ear your fingers drawing circles on the back of his arm. "It's ok Molly you saved me from that. I don't have to go through that anymore." He nodded slightly but still seemed angry "yes but you should have never had to go through that in the first place, I'm sorry that i wasn't able to save you from that darling..." It was obvious that he regretted not finding you sooner.

You just shook your head again "Molly you didn't know, you couldn't have done anything we lost eachother in the scared crowd." He shook his head "yes but i could have tried to find you after..." You just put your hand on his cheek "No it's alright i heard what happened you had no way of getting out and knowing where i was, hell I didn't even know where exactly i was. The thing that's important is that you saved me, im not there anymore."

He sighed before nodding and pulling you close, you got up from his lap holding out a hand to him. He looked up at you before grabbing your hand and standing up. You looked at the rest of the group "is it ok if we go a bit further away?" They all looked a bit confused the only one who didn't was Yasha, they all nodded and you smiled pulling Molly with you, he followed you smiling slightly "where are you taking me darling?" You giggled shrugging "I don't know just somewhere were we can be alone." He chuckled before letting go and coming up next to you before putting his arm around your shoulder.

You two somehow found yourself in a small clearing that isn't too far away from the camp, you knew this because you could faintly make out the flickering of the Fire in the distance as well as the smoke rising into the sky before dissipating. Molly sat down and pulled you next to him only to lay down, you in turn landing on his chest "you know this reminds me of the morning in Trostenwald before everything went to hell." You couldn't help but think about Trostenwald and what had happened there but now you were just enjoying the fact that you were here with Molly.

Your head fell backward Landing on his chest with a soft thud "it may remind us of it but it won't happen the same. I promise you. I won't let you be taken from me again not after i just got you back." You smiled slightly at that nodding along to his words. "I hope this can last forever. You want to know something i just realized?" Molly let out a quiet humm looking down at you.

"Maybe Yasha was right back then....feelings do grow just like flowers." You smiled at Molly before turning your head back to look at the sky

I hope you liked this! Any and all interaction is appreciated!

#aiko talks #aikos shit posts #critical role #critical role x reader #mollymauk x reader #critical role mollymauk #cr mollymauk #mollymauk tealeaf #cr c2

[autumnslance]

This is a very silly ask (and feel free to ignore it completely), but do you think any of your OCs would be friends with characters from other franchises? (Fun fact, this was inspired by a piece of fanart that made me believe that Thancred and Leon Kennedy of Resident Evil fame would absolutely be friends. Or at least drinking buddies.)

Hrm, I don't often think in terms of crossovers and mashups anymore--which is funny, as one of my earliest online RP experiences was a multiverse setting where OCs from any and all settings--franchise, gaming, original, etc--could co-exist. Normal mortals teaming up with demigods from novel series and mega-damage users from RIFTS and an array of fantasy and sci-fi and horror characters in between.

I sometimes think about how my OCs in various settings would interact together; how my WoW OCs would get along, or not, with the FF14 crew, or the FF14 OCs with my D&D characters. I tend to lean into certain archetypes (bards and paladins/clerics/priests are favorites), so there'd be some overlap and things in common, and also some frustrations at similarities that grate and clash.

So I don't think too much about how they'd interact with canon figures from other settings, but any OCs I'd have in that realm instead.

Well, the adventuring parties of Actual Play shows like Critical Role (and its animated series spinoffs) is pretty easy; Vox Machina, the Mighty Nein, and Bells Hells are all as chaotic and as helpful as adventurers tend to be, for good or bad. So there'd be eye rolling and irritation, but also understanding and diving in alongside, forming friendships with the weirdos cuz well, adventurers are Like That. They're RP characters too though so might be cheating, or at least easier to figure out for me.

Vax has that sort of noble rogue energy that'd make Aeryn fond of him, while Vex would initially drive her up a wall until they reached an understanding. Scanlan's annoy the heck out of her until they got to sit down and talk for real and she saw under the vulgar exterior. Percy'd be tolerated as Insufferable Noble Trying Too Hard. She'd be patient with Grog and enjoy his overlarge childish glee at everything. And who doesn't love Pike? Literal angel with a chaotic bent herself, she adds a bit of calm when not engaging in sibling shenanigans with Grog. I think Aeryn'd relate most to Keyleth, funnily, and they'd get along decently. Tary, too, would get a lot of sympathy concerning expectations, and also nerding around with his crafts, and may make dealing with Percy a tad easier.

Of the Nein, Caduceus is a spot of calm, aroace energy. Not as right as he thinks he is about many things, but he means well and tries, and that counts for a lot. Aeryn'd have tea with him any day. She'd also be drawn to Beau's bravado and brashness and they'd get into trouble together. Same with Fjord and Caleb, really; there's a level of familiarity in how they approach things with 'let's poke it and see what happens' but also the care they have for others in general. Same with Yasha. Jester's a bright light ball of energy and oh gods her and C'oretta in the same space would be exhausting. Nott/Veth is a bit more complicated; probably depends on when in the campaign, is it before or after Veth's reunited with her family, as she undergoes a shift emotionally once she has her original self back as well as her husband and son. Molly would aggravate and charm Aeryn by turns; Kingsley she'd be sympathetic to and understand too well that living in another's shadow aspect. Essek is fine; he's a wizard to talk shop with, learn from, mess around with spellwork. Luc is a brat also in the shadow of his accomplished mom and adventuring family, and needs mentoring and guidance and a lot of patience oh gosh.

A lot of the Hells would honestly be irritating, especially Imogen's propensity to just use telepathy intrusively; girl needs a lesson in why you don't want to poke around uninvited or casually to get your answers, and a WoL's head is wilder than most. FCG needs mentoring and guidance like whoa. Fearne's also an agent of energetic chaos; fun in doses. Laudna's not so scary, very sweet and fun and sad and likely needs help she doesn't know how to ask for. Ashton's grating in his arrogance and rebelliousness for rebellion's sake (though that may shift given recent things...). Chetney's surface attitude would be annoying, but soon enough he'd be a safe and calming point, given his perceptions. Orym's also just calming and reasonable; maybe a little too much sometimes, and needs to be reminded to cut loose now and then, it's good for you (and your friends).

Dark rolls with it all; she's very easy to get along with. Iyna wouldn't be able to stand most of them. C'oretta would get along well with most everyone but lord her and Jester and/or Fearne in the same place...Terrifying!

That's one off the top of my head, after a long holiday weekend thinking about it off and on, anyway!

#final fantasy xiv #lyn prompts #characters #crossovers #aeryn prompts #dark prompts #punchy prompts #iyna prompts

[utilitycaster]

caduceus for the ask meme, if it hasn't been done already

if it has been done, then maybe ripley?

I haven't done Caduceus yet! I haven't done Ripley but I actually did talk about Ripley a bit in the Raishan post because I have decided to ship them as a QPR, improbably. So this is about Caduceus.

How I feel about this character: I really like him - he's an archetype I don't actually feel like you see explored in all its glory and mess and flaws in a lot of fiction (this is something Taliesin excels at particularly amongst the cast, incidentally). Also I love talking about death and the pastel goth aesthetic.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: he's not interested. Before that became apparent there was a time when I thought he had a crush on Fjord and I shipped it briefly, but it turns out it was more two people looking at each other and being like "you have the opposite background from me and it's fascinating".

My non-romantic OTP for this character: honestly this is hard because Caduceus in many ways specifically held himself apart from the Nein and primarily confided in his sister Calliope and his aunt Corrin. I do really love some of his conversations with Yasha especially though.

My unpopular opinion about this character: hahaha so many. Probably the biggest one is what I just said - Caduceus specifically held himself apart from the Nein. He deliberately constantly positioned himself as separate and a little detached, and deflected everything and just had the attitude of "no I'm here to offer wisdom to you, I don't need any advice though I'm totally fine", and it's endlessly frustrating that many people interpreted the Nein not prying as a sign they didn't care rather than as a sign of them saying "it's really invasive and rude to force someone to open up and we're going to respect Caduceus's boundaries even if they're clearly a front". It's the lightbulb joke about psychiatrists - Caduceus needed to want to change, and until very late in the game, later than anyone else, he didn't want to and actively resisted it. Like, I have gotten tags on my posts about Caduceus where people who haven't seen C2 are like "oh maybe I should see C2; the stuff I saw around in the tags implied that the rest of the party seemed to not care about him and that sounded like a miserable time". That's how egregiously bad the fanon can get here.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I do wish we'd gotten to see more of Caduceus after Aeor because much of his change did occur in that final arc; look, I know myself and my ideal Nein one-shot is in fact Uk'otoa or Sabian, but my second ideal Nein one-shot is one of Caduceus's walkabouts with his sister in Molaesmyr.

my OTP: No romantic ones, but I like his friendship with Yasha and I did love every Calliope conversation.

my cross over ship: Not a ship, but as I said, I want Caduceus and Moonshine to be friends.

a headcanon fact: Honestly in thinking about Caduceus and Yasha and also the epilogue for Beau and Yasha, I like to think that Caduceus, Calliope, Beau, Yasha, Reani, and Essek eventually figure out what's up with Molaesmyr and can fight back the blight more permanently.

#caduceus clay #cr tag #ask meme #honestly like. have one of the cast other than taliesin marisha or ashley play calliope invite mica over and run this one-shot pls

[stardustedknuckles]

The hurt/comfort lover in me is eyeing the 5 levels of exhaustion with interest (exhaustion mechanics should be in more fics) but fluffy fics are also wonderful. You may think they aren't going anywhere, but there is Emotion there. Emotional cathartic-ism is still excellent. And I adore the thought of Yasha and Beau going off on the Nein Heroez with Jester and Fjord. It's domestic but adventure at the same time. The four of them together is just *Chefs Kiss* to me. Such wonderful friendships

The five levels of exhaustion would make a great h/c fic but it was also a lot of contrivance just trying to get yasha telling Beau she looked good in her clothes, like the idea I had was Beau being too exhausted to move and just managing to call her a creep and it's cute but also she almost died. It was a good thought but to me at least it required a lot of context for exactly how hurt she was, what got them to that point, etc. And after an hour I was like fuck it they're still on a boat post-canon but whatever is going on doesn't need to be front and center. They don't gotta talk it out right there, it's really just enough to have a pretty sunset and the two of them figuring out how to lean on each other because it's a new normal and you don't just flip a switch to being emotionally competent at all times. Sometimes you don't dig deep, you just offer your coat and a piggyback ride to dinner.

#Asked and answered

[bougiebutchbitch]

Nooooo don’t write smutty one shots. Noooo. Think of the children. (Sarcasm in case you couldn’t tell)

HELP IT’S GROWN pLOT

#sdlfghlsdkfhgksjdfhgjlsdfg #I now have a fucking character growth arc #and I'm mad about it #this was!! supposed!!!! to be porn!!!!! #but now it's yet another yasha character-study with added kinky sex YOU'RE WELCOME #Yasha Figures Out Friendship After The Nein #And Gets Fucked Very Thoroughly By Her Girlfriend #Not Necessarily In That Order #those poor children gfdfhfdfsfd #however will they cope #Anonymous

[ithinkthiswasabadidea]

An Act of Healing

When Essek gets seriously injured during a battle in the ruins of Aeor, he thinks his end might be closer than he imagined.

The Nein help him heal and prove him wrong, and show just how much they care about him.

.

When Essek gets hit in battle for the first time, it comes as somewhat of a shock to him.

He had been briefed about the capabilities of the Tombtakers, of their arcane abilities, and so he expected his first injuries to be arcane in nature. What he didn’t expect was the fight just to get to the place in Aeor’s ruins that the Nein said they needed to get to, lest the world end.

He was on his guard. Of course he was. But horrors unseen for centuries would be enough to startle anyone.

So yes, he was shocked when the beast took a swipe at him and he was less nimble than he thought himself. It hit him right in the ribs, tearing like butter through his cloak and the warm, layered fabrics underneath. Talons raking horribly through soft flesh as he feels a cold, burning sensation at the same time as there is a hot screaming pain bleeding from his side. An unexpected nausea bubbles inside him as he reels from the attack, forced to his knees from the weight of it. He huddles next to a frozen boulder, deep, deep below and far from the sanctuary of his chambers where he could rest and recover.

His mind scrambles to make sense of what just happened and he tears his eyes away from the beast to steal a glance at his ruined body.

He never expected to die a clean death.

No matter if he was caught by the Empire or the Dynasty, they’d get his information one way or another, he’d be trialed, sentenced to death, or worse, life imprisonment.

He silently laughs a moment at his change of fate. The Mighty Nein. Of course. They would even change the fate of his death – bleeding out, fighting a huge Aeorian beast. Poetic, he supposes, that he should die helping his… friends.

An opening for him comes up to attack the beast in retaliation, he raises a hand towards it but it shakes, distracting him from the spell he would have used. So he stays kneeling, one hand pressed to his side, the other shuddering in effort from the lingering coldness and pain of his wound.

A moment later, he feels movement beside him, a figure skips up to him – Jester. No, not quite Jester. From his years honing his arcane arts, Essek can recognise the faint tessellation of her body indicating a duplicate. What he doesn’t recognise is the hand reaching from the duplicate to touch his shoulder briefly, a wave of purple and green sparkles emanating from the point that touches him.

Immediately, the horrible freezing sensation in his body fades, like Jester herself had wrapped him in one of her beautiful big hugs, the hugs he covets so dearly, and appreciates so deeply, yet would never ask for.

His side is still bleeding, but the residual cold that was sapping his strength by the second has dissipated. He shoots a wry smile at the Jester duplicate, hoping maybe the real Jester can feel his intention.

Slowly, over the course of a few seconds, he makes his way back up on to his feet, leaning heavily on the rock beside him for support as duplicate Jester skips away again.

One hand still clutching his side, slick with dark blood, he chances another spell. He spies Beauregard, nearly climbed on top of the thing, beating at it with her clenched fists. He remembers his success of Hasting Yasha earlier, and sends the same effect towards beau, her grim expression turning elated as she feels the extra adrenaline course through her body.

Soon after, he feels another body thump against his rock haven, Caduceus having been pushed there with a huge tail swipe from the creature. Caduceus wheezes a little, the breath knocked out of him before he surveys the room and situation, spotting Essek right next to him.

Essek quirks an eyebrow, rasping out, “This thing is no joke, eh?” Not expecting a response from the tall, quiet man, just looking to release some of his own tension and anxiety.

“That looks pretty bad. Stay with us, we need you,” Caduceus replies to Essek’s surprise, and a soft furred hand reaches over towards him.

Essek is about to protest as he sees Caduceus about to touch his injured side, seeing no point in wasting time on his wound, until he remembers ‘Caduceus is a cleric, this is his job’.

The hand on his side, darkened with blood now, pulses with a soft gold and pink light from Cure Wounds. There is an uncomfortable sensation as the air he breathes is suddenly warm and moist, like a forest after rain, rather than dry and cold, and the sharp pain that he’s been clutching onto fades. He chances a look at his side, nausea rising up again as his skin under the Firbolgs hand knits itself back together, closing the talon marks that raked through it.

Essek barely has time to choke out an incredulous thank you before Caduceus is moving again, away and back into battle.

While he mentally prepares himself for another bout at the beast, two figures move into his sight, both carrying fearsome, glowing swords more than half his height.

Yasha.

Fjord.

The two of them form almost a wall between him and the creature, taking its attacks like nothing. Shielding him from the rage of the beast.

There is a new feeling in his stomach, not quite nausea, yet it makes him feel uncomfortable, strange. He feels… protected. And worthy of protection. His friends… are helping him, because he has helped them. In the back of his mind, Essek quashes down his feelings of guilt and remorse, and allows himself just a moment of unburdened appreciation.

With new eyes he views the battle before him, the formidable force that is the Mighty Nein, and he realises and remembers just how good it is to watch them do what they do best.

In the end it’s Fjord who gets the killing blow, driving his sword through the chest of the beast as its death wails ring out in the chamber.

Essek feels drunk, or exhausted, or both, as the adrenaline begins to leave his body, making his movements slow and the room swims. There is still an ache in his side that is yet to leave.

A small voice calls his name, Veth, who hops down off a nearby rock and beckons him over.

“Yes?”

“Come on, we’re sitting down now, Caduceus is doing a Prayer of Healing,” she nods over to the space Caduceus has set out with a small candle and scented incense as the rest of the Nein form a loose circle sitting or slumped around him.

“Oh. I don’t want to intrude on his…”

“Don’t be stupid, you’re hurt, and he always does this for us.”

Essek shuffles over, towards the edge of the circle and sits himself gingerly on the cold ground.

“Essek, if you need healing, you gotta get a little closer,” the low voice of Caduceus rumbles.

“Oh, I… I need it less than everyone else.”

Before Caduceus can reply, a warm and steady hand is placed on his back and pushes him forwards, the weight of it heavy and familiar.

“Nonsense, friend, you need it.” Caleb says, gently but firmly pushing at his back until he is within Caduceus’ spell range.

Caleb plops down next to him, knee touching knee, and whispers lowly near his ear, “You fought, you were hurt, do not think that you do not deserve to be healed, Essek.”

Essek shoots an almost pained look at Caleb, conveying more than he could possibly say out loud.

“You are a far cry from the man we met in Rosohna, Essek. Your help, of what we are doing here? We could not do this without you.”

“You underestimate yourselves.”

“Don’t we all,” Caleb looks knowingly at Essek. “We grow from our trials and tribulations. So shall you. That is the nature of forgiveness, and friendship.”

There is a warmth blooming again in Essek’s chest. He’s unsure if its from the healing prayer that Caduceus is mumbling under his breath, or from the words of comfort and encouragement from Caleb, but Essek feels warmer than he has in months.

#Essek Thelyss #Critical Role #The Mighty Nein #mini fic #Caleb Widogast #Jester Lavorre #Caduceus Clay #Beauregard Lionett #Fjord #Yasha Nydoorin #Veth Brenatto #c2e132 #critrole

[redjennies]

yashaaa

first impression

I've mentioned this before but before watching C2, I thought Yasha was a guest character/NPC some people shipped with Beau (a la Vex and Zahra or Vax and Gilmore in C1) and I was really excited to find out that I was wrong and the big buff barbarian lady was actually a PC. (I thought Veth was Ashley's character.)

impression now

oh my sweet angel. I want the world for Yasha Nydoorin. she currently ranks in my top five Critical Role characters of all time.

favorite moment

Yasha's dream of Zuala on Rumblecusp where she gets her wings back. like I could write a whole essay on every line of that scene. it's so thematically perfect.

idea for a story

I have like little scraps of this fic following Yasha through the campaign up until the Cathedral because I kinda feel a little sad sometimes that we didn't get more of her.

unpopular opinion

I don't know if I have one about Yasha actually? I think most of my Yasha opinions are pretty popular. I feel like something good will come to me two hours from now.

favorite relationship

obviously her romance with Beau is 10/10 but also her friendships with Jester and Nott/Veth are so sweet and I love the Mighty Nein ladies.

favorite headcanon

Caduceus eventually starts taking Sending after the campaign ends to keep in touch with the rest of the Nein, and he and Yasha talk about gardening a lot during these "calls." unfortunately, for the first couple years, they are both still really terrible at it and can end up wasting all of Cad's 3rd lvl and above spell slots for the day just trying to ask and answer one question while they both ramble too much and tend to stop in weird places. eventually they do figure it out, but it's still sort of like watching your elderly grandparents try to understand text messages.

#asks #ask games #sorry for the late response yesterday was a lot

[saphirered]

First times reader x Caleb widogast?

Here you go I hope you like these ☺️

The first time you met Caleb you were making some coin on the side as a temporary barkeep at the Lavish Chateau gathering funds to book passage on a ship when they entered. You paid little mind to this curious bunch but couldn’t help keep staring at the redheaded man in fine clothes. There was something… different about him. He caught you staring and you hoped the earth would swallow you whole then and there to spare you the embarrassment. Carlos, your boss didn’t help and even made you serve them. The redheaded man kept his eyes on you probably put off by the weirdo that couldn’t keep their eyes off him. You’d never hear the end of this. And though you were soon to see through his illusions it did not change your opinion. Little did you know meeting this intriguing man, Caleb Widogast would bring trouble to your life to the point you were on the run from the law. Should you be upset? Angry? Maybe but perhaps you should have worded it more carefully when you said you needed passage on a ship… 

The first time you spend time alone together the Mighty Nein dragged you in pirate trouble a plenty finding yourselves on a true pirate ship as a guests… More like prisoners and you knew better than to not be on guard. You slept with one eye open and a dagger under your pillow. Caleb seemed to feel the same, well save for the dagger part which left you both awake at the same time more often than not. You had some heart to hearts or at least as much as you both could muster. Speaking the truth without revealing anything of worth seemed to be a talent you both possessed but over time you grew more comfortable around each other. There was an undeniable chemistry between the two of you. Kindred souls destined for each other as Jester called it gushing over how you two would be perfect for each other but neither of you were ready for something beyond friendship. It was that first open and unfiltered conversation that kicked all of this off.

You tagged along with the Nein after their return to the mainland having grown accustomed to their company. You wouldn’t call yourself part of their group but you liked their company so you’ll stay until they grow sick of you or until your path takes you a in a different direction. On the road it was time to take watch. You were usually on duty with either Yasha when she was present or Caduceus but that night the Firbolg really deserved a full night of uninterrupted sleep so you and Caleb took watch together. It was cold and you were freezing. Even Caleb had trouble keeping warm so you suggested what you were taught; sticking close together wrapped up in your blankets and sleeping bag with a Frumpkin spread out over both your laps. You had to admit that this arrangement worked quite favourable for all parties involved so it became a more frequent occurrence. 

The first time you danced together came as a surprise to you. You were celebrating in a tavern after successfully completing a job for the Bright Queen and Caleb may have had a little bit too much of that Xhorhassian ale. A band was playing an upbeat tone and before you knew it Caleb had pulled you off your seat and began spinning you around. You were caught off guard but apparently a drunk Caleb was a more open Caleb and you were all having fun so what’s the harm? He was quite a good dance partner even when intoxicated. You could only imagine what waltzes he could dance when sober. 

The first time you shared a bed together came as the aftermath of the drunken dances. With the Nein save for Jester, Caduceus and yourself were quite a few bottles in resulting in you three having to practically carry them to their beds and Caleb had already been sticking to your side like glue so you were hardly going to hand him over to the others. Besides, you were able to convince him that last glass was enough and maybe it would be best for him to switch to water instead so maybe you could convince him to sleep too. You helped him up the stairs his arm over your shoulder to support him as he kept humming the tune of the band whispering sweet nothings in your ear making comments about your eyes, your personality, your skills in battle but you took it as the words of a drunken man and just happily agreed with him. You didn’t mind after all. Eventually you got him to his room but getting him in his bed proved more difficult than expected to the point where he lost his balance and you fell with him and before you knew it you were stuck in his embrace with him leaning on you like you were his pillow. Telling him he’d probably sleep more comfortable on his own was met with disagreements. You apparently were much more comfortable than any pillow and blanket and he wanted you to stay. So you stayed making yourself more comfortable. 

The hangover morning got Caleb all flustered. Hundreds of apologies, him scrambling up awkwardly but eventually he did catch on you didn’t mind and he couldn’t deny he probably hadn’t slept so comfortable in a long time even if he did wake up with a killer headache. The rest of the day was spent in with a breakfast in bed and a hangover cure brew from your Firbolg Cleric friend. Though that didn’t take it away in its entirety so the two of you spent the rest of the morning and afternoon cuddled up together.

Cuddles are comfy and even though Caleb might be somewhat touch repulsed he loved your hugs and spending time in your embrace whenever he felt down, conflicted, was simply yearning for physical touch or no reason at all. You were happy to provide these cuddles whenever he needed them and he happily provided you whenever you needed them. 

Over time Caleb grew more comfortable with your touch and you with his resulting in the two of you sitting closer together and holding hands when no one noticed. You’d grown quite fond of each other and eventually had a conversation to figure out what this thing you have going exactly is and where you would place boundaries. Together you adjusted these boundaries many times to better fit your dynamic as it kept evolving but it took some comments from Beau about how the two of you were acting like ‘that couple’ and to ‘bone each other already’ that made you realise you were very much behaving like you were in a relationship so you thought why not? You were both comfortable with this so why couldn't you be? You had nothing to lose.

Your first kiss wasn’t the most romantic by Jester’s standards that is at least. No fireworks overhead or grand confessions of love. You were sitting together at the Xhorhaus looking over the city from the ostentatious tree on top of the house arms wrapped around each other in a comfortable embrace. You were the one to ask him not wanting to cross any boundaries as you both decided moving things slow was the way to go but he said yes. Your first kiss with Caleb was soft and sweet and everything you had hoped to be. It wasn’t grand and soppy like the kisses described in Tusk Love but romantic in your own way as neither of you were for the over the top expressions of love and affection. 

You’d been helping Caleb figure out a particularly difficult spell. Your eye for detail being exactly what he needed after weeks of trying and just not getting it right but you managed to crack the code, find the mistake and help him fix it. He lifted you and spun you around giving you a deep kiss. “I love you.” The sentence seemed to have slipped out but was genuine nonetheless so you kissed him back with an ‘I love you too’. From then on you both grew more accustomed to saying the words out loud and eventually even in the company of others which for the first couple times was met with gagging noises from Beau. 

The first time you finally addressed the elephant in the room about the two of you officially being in a relationship left Jester gushing over the two of you already halfway through writing an epic romance about the two of you. ‘The Barkeep and the Scholar’. ‘Drinks and Disasters’. She kept sputtering ridiculous names. Caduceus was happy the two of you finally opened up about your relationship as there was no hiding from him. Fjord and Yasha were happy for the both of you. Beau of course congratulated Caleb and bluntly told you she wouldn’t be afraid to make you disappear should you ever hurt Caleb but it was Veth who’s promised you bodily harm and worse if you ever hurt her boy because not even the gods could stop her if that happened. You had to assure her, vow upon your life that that day would never come and you loved Caleb too much to ever hurt him let alone to the point were you’d provoke Veth’s wrath. 

#critical role x reader #mighty nein x reader #caleb widogast x reader #caleb widogast #caleb-widogast-x-reader

[peach-the-owl]

I think I something you might going to like. 84 but with a twist. Reader is a sorcerer and a friend of Vox Machina, the last time they seen them was battle Mind Flayer thus sacrificed themselves to froze the gate to other dimensions and stop Mind Flayer. Only see Vox Machina one final look before froze themselves. Not until Mighty Nein broke the frozen sorcerer. Only hear familiar voices, once they open their eyes they realize it's not Vox Machina, but the group who saved them.

Kinda like Avatar The Last Airbender when Aang frozen in time. Hope this is too much for you.

Some friendships transcend lifetimes… I love The Last Airbender it’s such a good show, and I’ve defiantly watched it over a dozen times, but anyways onto the story

I know I’ve called stories long before but like I thing this one takes the cake so far… here’s hoping it’s a good one

Lost Time

Vox Machina/Mighty Nein & Sorcerer!Reader (Platonic)

84- Who are you?

Spells flew left and right as you and the rest of Vox Machina faced off against a rather troublesome Mind Flayer, your ultimate goal was to destroy the gateway this aberration had opened and stop any beasts from coming through from other dimensions. Having silver dragon blood running through your veins meant you specialized in ice magic, being able to freeze just about anything with enough time and effort put in. With the rest of the team keeping the Mind Flayer distracted while you tried to use your magic to freeze and shatter the gateway, but the problem was this gate was enormous. The Mind Flayer had caught on to what was happening and attacks you causing you to lose concentration on your task, thankfully you’d managed to deal enough damage to shatter the base of the gateway causing it to crumble to the ground, falling on the Mind Flayer effectively killing it. For a moment it looked like you’d won but as the dust settled some you see the portal was still open and extremely unstable, energy crackling every which way the cavern starting to collapse around you.

"We can’t stay here the whole place is coming down on top of us." Percy calls for a retreat.

"It didn’t close, we broke it but it didn’t close!" Grog shouts still in a rage. You look over at all of them then over at the portal, you knew what had to be done so with a shaky breath you start towards the broken gateway.

"(Y/n) what are you doing? We need to leave!" Vax calls for you with a panicked tone.

"If I don’t seal this thing, it could mean more trouble then even we could handle." You continue forward against the groups protests getting close enough in range to start using your magic to freeze the opening before anymore energy can release itself. The room grew drastically colder, frost appearing along the walls as you pushed yourself past your limits.

"We can’t just leave you here!" Pike cries.

"You have to, if you don’t you’ll be buried here as well!" You yell, urging them to go without you.

"But-"

"Just go!" You scream at them, by now you could feel the cold of your magic effecting your own body. With looks of sorrow you watch as they all make their way to the exit, Keyleth looks back and calls your name one more time before being dragged off by the others. "It'll be okay." You whisper to yourself, a single tear sliding down your cheek as the gateway lets loose a pulse of energy and you unleash all your magic at once to conceal it, making your vision go white…

Everything felt cold, shadows were moved around in front of you. Were you dead? You thought you might be but then you start hearing faint voices, albeit muffled hit your ears.

"… see that?" It kinda sounded like Vex but you don’t remember her having such a high pitched, bubbly voice.

"It… dangerous." That sounded like Keyleth except much deeper and gravely.

"Wait, I think… in there." Since when did Grog become so soft spoken and educated?

"Maybe… use fire… see what’s inside." You defiantly don’t remember Scanlan sounding so shrill before.

"… not a… perhaps… could be dead." Now when did Vax get such an odd accent?

"… they're alive. We need…" Percy also sounded much calmer and relaxed then you were used to. What was going on, and why did everyone sound so different? A glowing light shines through bringing a warm feeling with it, there’s a cracking sound followed by shattering as you fall to the ground, you figured Pike must’ve used some sorta healing or restoration spell to free you. After a slight pause you gasp in actual air for the first time in you weren’t sure how long, and look up at the people in front of you. Your vision was still a little blurry trying to adjust to your surroundings and for a brief moment you thought you were staring at your friends, but when you rub your eyes to clear them you see before you a group of complete strangers making you jump back in surprise.

"Who are you?" Your voice comes out chattering both from fear and from the cold that still lingered in your body.

"Could ask you the same question." The woman who looked to be a monk shoots back.

"Well I asked first." You rebuttal attempting to stand, your legs were still shaky causing you to trip only to be caught by the firbolg on one arm and the tiefling on the other.

"Hi! I’m Jester!" The tiefling says cheerfully, holding her hand out for you to shake.

"Uhh… pleasure to meet you." You greet slowly accepting the hand shake, you then look to your other side at the firbolg.

"Hi, I’m Caduceus, how are you?" He introduces himself.

"I’m doing quite alright, thank you." You then look to the others in the group.

"Hi I’m Nott, just Nott." The goblin gives an awkward little wave, you wave back.

"Name's Fjord." There was a minor shift in his voice that made him sound more western, but only for a moment. You just nod your head in acknowledgment.

"My name's Caleb Widogast." The red head says rather stiffly, you could easily tell he was a wizard due to the large spell book stripped to his persons.

"Beauregard." The monk woman simply says.

"It’s very nice to meet you all. My name's (y/n)." You finally introduce yourself, now feeling a little more comfortable around them. "You have my thanks for freeing me of my icy prison."

"How did you end up in there anyways?" Jester asks. You explain to them everything you could clearly recall from your adventure before somehow placing yourself into some kind of frozen stasis.

"You know, now that I’ve had a better look…" You trail off slightly, taking in your surroundings once more. "This looks nothing like the cavern I sealed myself in. Where exactly are we?"

"You're in the Happy Fun Ball!" Jester happily states, you give her a confused look.

"That’s only a nickname." Caleb quickly jumps in, giving you a quick explanation of the object you were inside.

"How strange, maybe the last pulse of energy from the gateway sent me here along with most of the ruins." You look over at the broken and thankfully inactive gate that was in shambles, defiantly no way to activate that thing anymore.

"So if I may ask, why go through the trouble of coming here a second time? I mean, you know how dangerous it was the first." You question.

"Well we're looking for someone, that wasn’t you, and hopefully find a way to stop this cult for something called the Angel of Irons." Fjord gave an explanation this time. You let out a large sigh, this was a lot of new information to take in such a short time.

"That’s interesting." You say absentmindedly, still taking in this new situation you were suddenly in. You shake your head a bit and look to the group. "Well, if you need any help I'll happily oblige, it’s the least I could do for freeing me."

"Why that’s very generous of you, honestly we could probably use all the help we can get." Caduceus gives you a kind smile.

"Of course, just tell me everything I need to know about your situation." With that they all started to explain everything that’s been happening, it being a little hard to follow along sometimes with them talking over each other but you get the picture eventually. "So your friend, Yasha right? She’s under this Obann's control and they also have a creature called the Laughing Hand at their disposal. Now your here looking for the wizard Yussa because he’s been missing in here for 3 weeks and time is really strange here too, did I get all that?" You question.

"That’s the basics of it." Nott says with nod.

"Looks like we got our work cut out for us. Especially with the strange time here." You place a finger under your chin in slight thought, you had a lot of questions running through your head but had to put them aside for now, there were more pressing matters to deal with first. Finally having regained enough strength to stand on your own you set off with this new group of adventurers…

Taking down the Permaheart had been no easy feat but with Beau downing it and yours and Caleb’s combined spells it was finally reduced to frozen ashes and you’d finally located Yussa, amongst other things that happened and were ready to leave this place once and for all. Throughout all this, as helpful as you were you could tell this group still didn’t fully trust you, whispering amongst each other and defiantly not telling you everything. Who were you to blame them though, they were as much of strangers to you as you were to them, even if they did save you, so you figured it best to just keep a slight distance when they talked quietly with each other, and if you were being honest you were exhausted. Having been frozen for who knows how long didn’t cancel out the effect of having used a lot of magic, plus the magic you used to help fight off the creatures and creations that lurked in this sphere. You located the exit and the second you all arrived inside of Yussa's tower you fell to your knees panting.

"Whoa, hey are you alright?" Fjord comes over to you and helps support your weight so you could still stand.

"Sorry, I’m just a little tired is all, I suppose after everything I still haven’t fully recovered from my icy sleep." As if to exaggerate your point you let out a yawn and start leaning your full weight into the half-orc.

"Do you think it would be alright if we left (y/n) here for the time being." Caleb asks Yussa who in turn looks over at your exhausted form.

"I juss need some proper rest, I’ll be out of yer hair and rejoin with them once I dooo." You slur through your words slightly.

"Very well." He says with a soft sigh, then turns to his assistant to get a room prepared for you. When your brought in you immediately collapse on the little makeshift bed and pass out, getting some much needed rest. You awaken feeling much more refreshed and walk your way up the tower to where you hoped to find Yussa, when you enter the room you see the mage as well as the Mighty Nein and a very familiar face who stared back at you with as much of a shocked look as your own.

"Allura?" You ask almost nervously, she looked much older then when you’d last seen her. You see her eyes gloss over a little as she holds back tears.

"(Y/n)?" There’s a slight silence that fills the room before the two of you embrace each other. "I was told you sacrificed yourself to save our everyone, we all thought you were dead!" Allura practically cries, breaking away from the formal appearance she’d put on in front of everyone until now.

"I thought I was as good as dead too, but these folks here saved me, pulled me out of my frozen tomb." You say gesturing towards the Nein.

"Wait wait wait, you two know each other?" Nott looks between the two of you confused.

"Of course we do, we're friends." You simply reply.

"You haven’t changed a bit." Allura says looking you over.

"And you…" You pause slightly. "You’ve certainly gotten wiser." Allura just gives you a look that says "yes, I know I’m old". After your little reunion you refocus your attention on the task at hand, collecting information on this Angel of Irons and learning that it was in fact the Chained Oblivion, Tharizdun. You listen intently to everything being said to get a better understanding of what was going on and the more you learned the more serious and dangerous the situation grew.

"I believe it best I return to Tal'Dorei and inform the council, will you be joining me?" Allura looks over to you for confirmation.

"As much as I’d love to go home, I promised these fine people I’d help them. It’s the least I could do for what they’ve done for me." You give your friend a smile, she returns it with a worried look then sighs and nods.

"Alright, just please be careful and don’t disappear again, I don’t know how I’d handle the knowledge of seeing you alive only to learn you’ve really died this time." She places a firm yet gently grip on your shoulders, you place your hands on top of hers and give them a reassuring squeeze.

"I can’t make any big promises here but I’ll do my best. Until then it may be best if you keep my status a secret to everyone, alright? You’ll even be the first person I visit once this is all over." You look her in the eyes and slowly release your grip, once again she nods as she slowly moves her hands back to her side and teleports out of the tower.

"Aww man, I wanted to know who was on this council she mentioned." Nott looks down disappointed.

"Me too." Jester pouts. "Unless you know!" The two of them give you expectant looks making you take a step away from them.

"I can’t say I’d know for sure, a lot is different now then what I remember." You hold up your hands in defence.

After getting everything sorted out, you left Yussa's tower thinking as long as you stay with this group you should be fine. Then they split up, the girls in one direction and the boys in the other which threw you for a loop but you were able to sort yourself out and enjoy a more casual rest of the day getting to better know some of the others. The following days weren’t as you’d expect however especially when you were shopping around a little shop know as the Invulnerable Vagrant, it was no Gilmore's Glorious Goods but it still nice and you had to admit the shopkeeper, Pumat, was a charming firbolg in his own right. What was really unexpected though was the surprise attack by the Inevitable End, dealing with them was tricky when they could phase through the floor but you managed to drive them off and check in on what was happening with Yasha. Your next stop was a visit with a sorta mafia? You were really starting to question the group's moral compass, sure you have done crazy things in the past too but the Nein seemed to find a way to make things even weirder, you decided to stay out of most of it when they told you the only way to get in was to share your blood. Meeting up the next day you made your way back to Pumat's shop, being both shocked a relieved when he decided to join and help the party on this fast approaching mission…

Never in your life had you thought that the steps to a cathedral of Pelor would feel so menacing and filled with unease and yet here you were. The battle was intense, rifts opening and bringing forth creatures of the abyss, Yasha and the Laughing Hand were proving to be tough opponents and everything seemed to be going downhill. With sights set on the mind-controlled barbarian you weighed your options, you couldnt be reckless with your spells seeing as Beau had fallen unconscious so an AoE spell might end up killing her, you settle for using a Ray of Frost spell seeing as your silver dragon blood made it stronger. It works, distracting Yasha away from Beau and giving Caduceus the opportunity to dispel the control over her and spare Beau from deaths grip. With that taken care of you switch your focus to an oddly familiar situation, going to close the rifts and stopping the creatures coming through, however this time it wasn’t a large gateway at least. You were very focused on your task you didn’t notice Obann escape to the deeper chambers of the cathedral until you heard one of the Nein call to you.

"Obann's escaping we need to move!" Caleb calls, you look back and forth between them and the creatures still coming through a few of the remaining rifts, Pumat was still dealing with the the creatures as well and by the looks of things, despite his word of reassurance, he was already having a difficult time.

"You go on ahead, I’ll stay back here and help fend these creatures off!" You call back.

"Are you-"

"Just go!" You shout at them feeling a strong sense of déjà vu. You shake off the feelings, this wasn’t going to end like last time. The Nein disappear after the devil and with Pumat to aid you the two of you worked to close the few rifts and finish off the remaining cultists and creatures. It had been a long and strenuous battle but you’d done it and you were still alive, you rest yourself against one of the supporting pillars to catch your breath. After a long pause that feels like hours had passed, you feel a feathery touch against your shoulder, looking over at Caduceus who uses a quick Cure Wounds on you, Fjord also makes his way over.

"We want to thank you for everything, we may not have managed as well as we had if not for you." Fjord thanks, handing you a healing potion.

"I suppose that makes us even then." You comment with a cheeky smile happily accepting the potion and putting it to use right away.

"You know, I feel we could really use someone like you on the team, if you’re interested that is." Caduceus offers.

"I appreciate the offer, and though in reality it has been a long time since my last adventure, it still feels like it was only a short time ago to me. I really miss home, and am in dire need for a break, but if you do ever require my assistance in the future I will happily lend my aid to you again. For now I just wish to go home and familiarize myself with the changes that've taken place." You decline the offer as politely as you can, he gives you a nod of understanding. With that you get up, bid them farewell and exit the cathedral, making your way towards an area that’s out of the way before getting to work on a Teleportation Circle, as you're setting it up you think back to your time with this crazy group of adventurers, and while it was short they still made you feel welcome in their own strange ways. In some ways they reminded you of your time with Vox Machina, perhaps that’s why you were able to work with them and come to form a trust with them as quickly as you did, who knew. You finish the last symbol for your spell and the portal opens to the familiar view from inside Allura's tower, it was time to go home so with a deep breath you step through the portal.

Bonus (2 for 1 story):

Reunion

"Are you alright? You're looking quite nervous." Allura asks with slight worry as you walk through the halls of Greyskull Keep.

"I haven’t been home in so long and so much has changed, I just don’t know what to expect or how they’ll react." You admit. She places a hand on your shoulder and gives you a reassuring smile.

"Trust me I don’t think they’ll be expecting this either." You walk up to a set of large double doors.

"And from everything you told me…" You trail off a bit.

"There’s more I missed, but I’m sure they’ll be more then happy to fill you in."

"Okay…" You take a breath and reach for the knob only to pause again. "Why don’t you go in first, and I’ll follow your lead." Allura just gives a soft chuckle and nod before opening the door and heading in. You step back and try to catch your breath wondering why you still felt so nervous. You had to wonder if this was even worth it, a lot had happened and changed since you’d been gone and there was a lingering doubt that your friends might not even care anymore.

"Come in and say hello." You hear Allura's voice muffled through the door. Moment of truth, you steel your nerves and make your way through the door. When you enter you have a look around the room seeing all eyes on you, at first their expressions were blank or shocked so you decide to lighten the mood and give a small smile.

"Hello everyone, it’s been awhile." You say in almost a whisper, already feeling the tears well up in your eyes. The next thing you know your tackled into a hug by a sobbing Keyleth.

"You’re not dead! You’re not dead!" Is all you hear her say through her sobbing. You now return the hug having been able to stabilize yourself and comfort the Archdruid.

"I missed you too Kiki. I’ve missed all of you." You release one arm from her seeing as she wasn't going to let go of you just yet, and feel a slight pressure rest on your shoulder once you do. Craning your neck over you see a raven perched itself on you, you raise your hand and give him a little scratch under his beak as he leans into the touch. You look to the others seeing Vex approach.

"My word darling, you haven’t aged a day since we last saw you. What’s your secret?" She tries to add some minor humour to the situation but you could tell she was holding back some tears, being just as overjoyed as Keyleth.

"Just freeze yourself for a good 20 years or so and it’ll shave off those wrinkles in no time." You lightly chuckle, using your free arm now to offer her a hug. She accepts giving a much shorter side hug to you while the others finally came to their senses and start bombarding you with questions. You do the best you can to answer all of them as well as properly greeting everyone again and exchanging welcoming hugs from them, being lifted off the ground when Grog brought you into an almost bone crushing grip. "As much as I missed you too, I’m still fragile." You wheeze at the goliath.

"Sorry, sorry. It's just been so long." He says, trying and failing to hold back his emotions.

"Right, which reminds me, you must have stories to tell me. I’d love to hear what you’ve all done over the years."

"Oh man, where do we begin? There’s so much to tell." Pike ponders aloud.

"How about we start with what happened after my… departure." You suggest, ready for the day to be filled with stories of their adventures and exploits.

#critical role #critical role & reader #vox machina #vox machina & reader #mighty nein #the mighty nein #mighty nein & reader #nothing romantic here

[thatonesadending]

After being set adrift as a sheep in the astral sea, and making it into this strange city that they had followed Lucien into, Caleb is left alone with his thoughts and suspicions on what's really going on in Lucien's head. Can he bring all of his friends safely home while not being able to use the magic that Lucien can so easily dispel.

Or in other words. How Caleb defeats Lucien with a kiss, and ends up with two magical purple men by his side. Oh and it was really Sprinkles that saved the day!

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He liked being a sheep. It was almost peaceful, floating in the astral sea without a thought in his fuzzy head. The tumbling only made him a little dizzy, but other than the occasional shout of his companions, his mind was quiet. He would like it to stay that way, maybe.

But of course, that was not in his cards. Beau had grabbed him by the wool shortly after she had come through the gate, keeping him from straying too far. He didn't mind the rough yank from her, or even mini Veth clinging to him as they sailed towards the city. But Jester's aggressive petting once they reached their destination was a little much. He very much didn't like when she put Sprinkle/Artigone on his back and declared them "best furry friends", and the damn fey weasel began tunneling through his wool coat trying to tickle him. Essek had wordlessly picked up the small fey and handed it back to Jester, while stroking Caleb's woolen head, and apparently ignoring the others as they bickered about a plan.

Sheep are not very smart, so it took Caleb a very long time to realize Essek was petting him. And even longer to realize he was bleeding fairly heavily. Suddenly, whatever wild magic had changed his form evaporated and Caleb was himself again, on his hands and knees in this mysterious magical city, and Essek's hand midway through carding his hair.

"Oh, apologies." Essek snatched his hand back before Caleb could even process their positions. The movement had obviously hurt whatever injury the Dow was suffering through, but before he could comment on it, Jester was calling out to him.

"Oh good, you are back! You were really really cute as a sheep Caleb, but you couldn't cast the tower. Can you do that, and we can do the hero's feast, and rest, and -" Fjord cut her off.

"Jes, we might need to figure out where Lucien and Cree went first before we are safe taking a long rest."

Right. Lucien.

The whole reason that being a sheep had been initially a very nice experience. He could stop thinking about Lucien. And, well, what wasn't Lucien.

"You good?" Beau was in his head, and he turned his head to look for her and realize he was still on his hands and knees next to Essek. As the embarrassment crawled up his neck, and thump his ass to the ground and took a moment before responding.

"Is good even an option at the moment?"

"Fair. But like, right now, you are in check? That was pretty reckless teleporting like that."

Caleb found her standing 10 feet away, shifting uncomfortably and staring at him. Instead of answering he just nodded his head, he wasn't sure if it was a lie or not but Beau took it.

They had decided that the tower wouldn't be a good idea until they knew they were safe, and the dome and a short rest would have to do for now. They had set up their quick camp in between two of the unfamiliar buildings, thinking that to be safer than out in the open. The alley was only 15 feet wide, but opened out to two large streets that hopeful they could get away quickly if need be. Caleb was not really paying attention though, all of his swirling thoughts and overthinking came back. What they were facing was …. daunting. There were too many unknowns, questions, and possibilities to think through and make a plan. Lucien has proven to be incredibly powerful, but also impossibly confusing. None of them really knew what he wanted, or why he wanted them to be there to watch. Whatever it was, it could not be good.

Lucien said he wanted to make dreams come true through his reign, it was vague and threatening enough to send a chill through Caleb’s spiking hope. Caleb had only one dream at that moment, and that was that all of his friends made it safely home from Aeor alive. All of them. It was an impossible dream, especially since he wasn't sure how many friends he had here in this strange city.

A purple hand was resting on his knee as he sat in the dome, eating and tuning out the Mighty Nein’s arguing. Caducess had healed Essek as much as he was able, but the other wizard was still clearly very tired and out of his element. It was the second time that day Essek had reached out to Caleb, well if you could count petting him through his shock of the battle, while Caleb was numbly enjoying being a mindless sheep. Normally this would have caused a little rumble of warmth and pleasure in Caleb’s chest. They had been through so much as of late, and despite it all, Caleb would be lying if he said he wasn't beginning to feel more than just friendship for the other man. However, right now, the sight of those purple fingers touching him was causing his vision to become watery, and his chest tighten with anxiety.

They were reminding him of the one thought he didn't want to dwell on, the dangerous suspicion he had not said out loud yet to anyone. They reminded him of a very different friendship that, while short, had influenced almost every choice he had made in the last year or so. Had encouraged him to see himself as more than just the worthless scars of his past, worthy of love and caring from his friends, and to leave things better than when he found them. These dark purple hands brought back memories of lavender ones that were quick to help him up when he had fallen, slap him when he was lost, and to embrace him when he was lonely. A lavender that now was being worn by a man that did not deserve them, or the memories attached to them that he claimed not to have, but still seemed to affect him.

Caleb said nothing, not just for fear of how the others would react, but how it might be their undoing. He had tested this theory a few times now, with different degrees of success. The other’s had too, but he wasn't sure they had known what they could be doing at the time. Beau couldn't help annoying Lucien, it was just in her nature. And Jester, how for all the God’s she had pulled those cards was beyond him, but it had clearly had an effect. And now, despite having multiple opportunities, Lucien had not killed them, but rather invited them to the show. But what if ….

No, he couldn't think about that, he had to push it aside. If him and his found family were going to make it through this alive, he could not continue to entertain this dangerous thought. They - he - had to focus on the problem at hand, and that was what they were going to do next time -

“So you have paid for your ticket I see. Why don't you come see the preview of my show?”

You would have thought a spell had been cast to turn Caleb and Beau into stone, for how suddenly ridged they had gotten. It was too soon. They hadn't had any time to rest, plan, they could not survive another brutal confrontation. Essek’s hand tightened on Caleb’s knee, a silent quention, one that he didn't have an answer for. He slowly met Beau’s eyes from across the dome where she sat next to a very nervous Yasha.

“I promise, you all will make it to the main event, as long as you come and be a friend.”

“Beau, is it him? Is it - is it Lucien?” Yasha was strong, but her normally quiet voice that was now shaking was giving away how distressed she was. Caleb knew this had been all very hard for her, watching Lucian reak havoc on them while wearing the face of her oldest friend. It was part of why Beau, wanting so badly to comfort her new girlfriend, had been extremely cautious as of late, trying to minimize the damage when possible. However, she was clearly losing her cool at the moment. Beau was firmly holding on to Caleb’s attention as the now visible anger was tensing all of her muscles, causing her words to be more spat than spoken.

“The dick couldn’t even let us eat in piece before fucking around with us again.”

The dome was very quiet, as they all were incredibly aware how vulnerable they were, and how they couldnt even tuck tail and run if they wanted. They were not just tired, but not nearly healed enough, and so emotionally worn out from the excitement of the day that none of them were capable of a wise thought. Maybe that's why he did it.

Caleb dispelled the dome and stood. It's not like the dome provided safety to them from Lucien if he wanted their attention, he would just dispel the magic. Besides, he couldn't leave it in place and do what he was about to.

“I will go speak with him. You all can stay here, it would be safer.” He said. Beau had already led the way once today, and she was clearly too wrung out to be asked to do that again. Lucien had not said all of them needed to go, and for whatever his promise was worth, he claimed not to want to hurt him yet.

“Like hell you will.” Veth had since returned to her normal size, but her shrill voice cut through all of the tenuous silence of the others, unleashing a new wave of arguing. Caleb was tired of the back and forth, the fear, the unknown. He just wanted to get this over with, and if the Gods had any mercy left, would get Lucien to leave them alone long enough to get a bit of sleep. Hell, if he had to welcome Lucien back in his tower so that he could get some rest so that he could think through whatever upcoming plans Lucien had, he was just about ready to do that.

The only one who caught him walking about from the group in the dark was Essek, the others too busy rehashing old plans they already knew weren't going to work. “Where do you think you are going?” He hissed in the dark as Caleb followed Lucien’s mental pull.

“I am going to get some answers. Please go back with the others, you will be safer.”

“Do not pretend to care for my safety when you are carelessly abandoning yours.” Essek could have just replied with a thought, but he did not, choosing to let his commanding voice echo in the dark, bouncing off the alley walls, destroying any chance Caleb had to slip away from the others.

Veth and Jester were already on their way to drag him back when they all saw the familiar pair of red glowing eyes heading towards them in the direction Caleb had been heading.

“I thought I would continue to be a gracious host and meet you halfway.” Lucien said aloud, his gaze trained on Caleb.

“How thoughtful.” Caleb didn't even try to contain his sarcastic weariness. “Where is Cree?” He had just needed a couple more hours of not thinking about this man, what the future held, and the danger they were all in. Just a couple of hours and then maybe Caleb could have thought of a plan for survival. As it was, Lucien was making large confidant strides towards him, and Caleb felt himself stumbling back to the others.

“She is waiting for me, getting the show prepared.” He offered, as though it was the only natural answer.

“What the fuck do you want Lucien? We followed you through, we haven't tried to attack you, should that earn a fucking moment for ourselves before you drag through whatever stupid shit you have planned?” Caleb had been right, Beau was not in the right frame of mind to be talking to Lucien right now. Maybe that was what he wanted though, his usual annoyance at her was missing, and he was grinning a fang laced snarl at her.

“Now, I promise you I have no ‘stupid shit’ planned.” He said, with an amused condescension that Caleb was sure irritated Beau as much as it did him.

“Are you patronizing me, Lucien? That’s two promises you have made in the last five minutes that I doubt you plan on fucking keeping.” She snapped back. The tieflings smile disappeared, replaced with confusion. Genuine shock at something Beau had said, his guard only dropped for a moment, and Caleb could swear those red pupiless eyes flickered for a moment. He had twitched again, but it faded, and with it lost any good humor he had.

“No, was hoping that you’re going to patronize me. Would rather me reward your group's bravery in joining me here to witness the greatness magic you’ll ever experience, with simply killing you before you get the chance? It would not change any of my plans.” His words came as a growl, a threat. That voice had once been on their side, threatening violence to those that aimed to hurt the Mighty Nien, not directed at them.

“No,” Caleb sighed, trying to gain back a bit of control. “We have come as requested as friends, not foe, for the time being.” The silence was heavy for a moment, the tension thick as none of the Nien knew how to proceed. Jester eventually spoke up.

“So, are you gonna like … tell us what’s going on or like whatever. Because if not, we would really like to finish eating.” Jester was trying to sound cheery, motivating Lucien with her effortless charm to give him more information. However, Caleb’s mind was still lingering on that twitch he had seen, just a moment ago. His suspicion was full force now in the front of his mind, he couldn't shake it, no matter how foolish or unlikely. Maybe his exhaustion was making him soft, it was definitely clouding his judgement, but a plan was starting to form in his head. A foolish plan. More of an experiment, but if was all he had without magic. Caleb was suddenly grateful for his perfect memory, the one that allowed him to remember every word those purple lips had ever spoken to him or around him. All of seemingly wise words and quickly spun bullshit.

“Now Jester, you know his mother always told him to never give away a story for free.” Caleb interjected before Lucien could respond. His red eyes snapped to him, but almost as soon as they did they unfocused. They were surely going to argue with him, ask him why he was appearing to take Lucien’s side, so he quickly pressed on. “So friend,” he directed at the tiefling in front of him, unable to conceal more sarcasm in calling him friend, “ you clearly wanted us here for a reason. You wanted us to come make ourselves useful. Tell me, how can we be the chaos you want to see in the world.”

You would have thought Caleb had struck the blood hunter, his whole lavender form constricting for a moment. Tearror, fear, uncertainty, all flitting across his face before settling on anger. It didn't take Lucien more than two steps to reach Caleb, roughly pushing him back into the alley wall.

“Get the fuck out of my head Widogast.”

Caleb was paralyzed with fear, his half formed plan had had an effect, but now what. He couldn't raise his eyes to meet Lucien’s, knowing they were clear again, and staring him down with venom.

“I was not in your head. Whatever is there, whomever is there, is not of my own doing. I know you do not want to remember anything, do not want anybody else’s baggage in your head, their problems, thoughts, ideas.” Caleb was taking a gamble speaking to Lucien telapaically, but he wanted to make his appeal as deep as possible, take any ounce of luck he might have. Lucien froze again, his eyes impossibly wide with fear. He was too close to Caleb for him to get away, his grip strong on the shoulder that he shoved back against the wall, and pain was ripping through Caleb’s fear. Fire began to curl around his finger tip automatically, just in case this foolish plan went south. Before Caleb could continue though, he caught out of the corner of his eye, Essek preparing a spell, no doubt in effort to save Caleb. But Lucien simply removed his claws from Caleb’s shoulder for a moment, waving angrily to dispel any and all magic around him sending Essek flying backwards in force, and replaced his hand now around Caleb’s throat.

“If any of you so much as think a thought of magic, I will wring his throat until he is dead.” Lucien spat, but his eye still seemed to have lost their sheen, not that the others could see it. Caleb knew he had to act quickly, before Lucien fully came out of his daze that his words had left him in.

“Don't worry, the only thing magical here is you my friend.” Despite the pressure on his neck, and the searing pain in his shoulder, Caleb reached a hand up between them and pressed it lightly to Lucien’s lavender cheek. He stroked it ever so softly. The grip lightened, and the tiefling looked as though the ground had been pulled from under him. The rest of the Mighty Nien must have noticed the change, because they all went still and were watching the odd exchange, none of them knowing what Caleb was saying. The red eyes that had been nearly boiling with rage moment ago, almost looked like a dull pale ruddy marbles, not focused on anything but whatever was going on inside. Purple limbs were trembling around him, not backing away from Caleb, but unable to move other than to shake.

Caleb threw up a silent prayer to the Moonweaver. Hells, to the Wildmother, to the Luxon, to the Traveler. He was going to need any ounce of favor he could garner for what he was going to do next. Keeping his hand on Lucien’s cheek, he used his other hand to guide the now limp and trembling fingers away from his throat, and interlocked them with his. It had been so long since he had gotten to hold these hands, he had to force himself not to look down at them and try and take them all in. Instead, Caleb pushed himself away from the alley wall, closer to the dazed and confused blood hunter, and placed his lips to the man’s forehead.

He was just as warm as Caleb remembered. A curl falling in front of his face as he leaned in to Caleb’s kiss.

“Caleb!” The surprised voice rang through his head like a beautiful chime announcing the morning was here. There was no anger, no hint of condensation, just surprise and … joy. Caleb was failing in his attempt not to hope, his kiss lingered longer than it should, not wanting to face whatever ugly expression could be back on that handsome face. But when he pulled away, he got a smile. His knees nearly gave out in relief, but the free lavender hand was wrapping around him, keeping him upright and from pulling away farther.

“Caleb!” He was now speaking to him outloud, saying his name light a gasp. The smile dancing on his lips was light, it was sweetly mischievous, and not a lick of malice. Then in his head, “Caleb, darling, would you be so kind as to help me get this fucker out of my body.” It wasnt a demand, but a plea to a friend. Caleb felt an almost immediate draining of any will power that was keeping him from hoping, freeing his inhibition. He had no idea how to get Lucien out of this body, but he knew how to draw this voice closer. Closer to him, hopeful never to go again.

The hand that had been resting on a lavender cheek, now threaded through deep purple curls, pulling the tiefling as close as Caleb could get him, lips fitting together perfectly, if a bit desperately. He could hear Jester’s attempt to stifle a gasp, Beau non-attemp to yell “What the fuck!”, Fjord’s chuckle and then loud whisper at Veth to “Just hold on, give’em a minute”. But Caleb didn't care, not sure if he ever would. This kiss was bright, gentle, and held all these unexplored feelings he hadn't wanted to explore on his own. The ones he had just started to open up when death seemed to come and stop him, the ones of accepting love and forgetting guilt. And then there were ones he continued to explore on his own and with his friends, trying to make this world a better place.

Caleb let himself feel the joy in this moment, choosing not to care for now if it would last. The kiss was long, embarrassingly so, arms were still wrapped around him with no indication of release, so he just leaned into it. He didn't know how to banish Lucien, but he felt himself reach out in his mind, and gather up everything that wasnt that evil soul and pull it close. Every good memory, every hopeful moment, every bit of light he could find, he gathered together. Eventually he felt the tiefling chuckle against his lips. The laughter sent such a brilliant sensation of hope, Caleb had to pull away so he could see the face in front of him.

“Mr.Mollymauk Tealeaf?” He inquired, surprised at the hesitation the sent thought had.

“Ja, ja. The one and only Mr.Caleb.” It was no less cute the second time he heard Molly playfully mock his accent with his own barely there one. There was a long moment where the two simply rested their foreheads together, coming down from the incredibly high emotions from the last few minutes. Eventually it was Molly’s turn to pull away and look over Caleb.

“I mean I knew you could clean up pretty, but bless the Moonweaver, how the fuck did you get this handsome?” The easy flirting tone, the one Caleb hadn’t quite gotten used to until it was gone, filled him with more joy then he could possibly hold.

“And you my friend could use a bath and a change into old clothes.” Caleb spoke with a lightness he didn't know he was capable of, laughter lifting up every work. Molly looked down at himself, still water logged from Aeor and missing all of his color.

“You know, I think you are right. Gods this coat should be a sin, a capital offense.” There was no offense in his tone, just mirth. Caleb wanted to reach out and kiss him again, except suddenly Molly was holding him at arms length and looked worried.

“You know he is still in there right? Just … deeper? Like I was.” and the out loud, as though it was an afterthought “He is fighting for center stage. Like fuck I will give it to him with out a proper showdown though.” Even though his words were quite serious, Molly seemed not to let the situation take hold of him, optimism still shining through. Still smiling.

“Gods you two are making quite a show of this, and I really do hate the theater.” An exasperated voice cut through the shocked silence that had taken over the Mighty Nien, and a small wessel wormed its way off of Jester’s shoulder and over to Molly. Before he could say anything, the little quasi-deity of trickery and joy, jumped up to catch him by the wrist and bit down hard. Molly was jumping up and down rather undignified, swatting unsuccessfully at the fey creature but yelling quite a few obscenities. Yasha was the first to break from the Nien, striding over and removing the Traveler from Molly’s wrist without a word.

“What the fuck. Why did a talking rat just bite me Yash?!” Molly was holding his bleeding wrist, looking up at the familiar barbarian like he had never left.

“Excuse me, I would have you know that I am currently a wessel.” The traveler rebuked in what was probably more admonishment then he actually felt.

“Ok, well, whatever the fuck you currently are, why the fuck did you bite me?” But before an answer could be made, Molly was turning to the still stock still group of friends that were currently making no movements to understand all of the events that just happened. “Jester, love, you think you could heal this up? I would hate to make a mess of this lovely drab coat.”

Jester didn't move however, her mouth opened and gaping. Caduceus however was looking between Caleb and Mollymauk, and seemed to be the first to accept what was happening and walked over to Molly. Clasping both his hands the tieflings wrists, he said a prayer of healing without a word.

“Um, thanks. I don't think I have met you before. My name is Mollymauk, but my friends call me Molly.”

Caduceus, is regular form, laughed easily at the introduction. “I am Caduceus, and our friends - well, they call me lots of different names.” Their smiles were easy, that of a fast friendship.

“And the rat-wessel thing that bit me? Does it have a name?” Molly asked.

“Oh, um, that’s the Traveler. At least I think.” Cad spoke as though he was just giving the time of day.

“God’s, and I thought I was good at conning people. Jessie, you really got - oof” Jester slammed her full body weight into Molly, and impossibly, picked up the taller tiefling at the same time.

“If this is a trick, I will never forgive you, I don't care if you are dead Molly, I will really haunt you if you are pranking me!” Jester sounded on the edge of tears.

“Love, how would you haunt me if I was the one that was dead and you weren't?” Molly lovingly replied while stroking Jester's hair while she clung to him.

“Don't underestimate us, we would find a way!” Veth chimed in adding her arms to the hug, despite all she could reach was his thigh.

“Um, I feel like I should know you, but I am not really one to deny a hug.” Molly laughed through obvious confusion at the halfling clinging to his leg.

“It’s Nott you asshole.” she said, never letting go.

“Oh, ok. That makes perfect sense.”

They eventually let go for the others to see, leaving Fjord shaking his head in disbelief, Beau obviously wrestling with either punching or hugging the man, Essek standing back in confusion, and Yasha … arms crossed and distrusting.

“Prove it. Tell me something only he and I would know.” Molly looked a little hurt, but then a wide grin took over his face. The kind he had saved when he had a really great story to tell.

“Well, Yash, there was that time a couple weeks after you brought me to the circus, and I was really trying hard to save up the coin for my first tattoo. And well, I volunteered myself for that ‘after hours’ performance. You being the lovely dear that you are, volunteered with me thinking you would be gentler than the rest, and what was a little rubber and oil between friends. Only, you got me to use a safeword for the firs-” He was tackled for the second time that night, the rest of that story snuffed out by Yasha’s arms.

“I thought we agreed never to bring that up again?!” But she obviously wasnt mad.

Fjord and Beau both broke at the same time, gathering up Molly into a shared embrace. Of course, Beau had to end it with punching him in the shoulder and muttering “asshole” under her breath. Essek was still clinging to the shadows, obviously not wanting to be part of this reunion. Caleb didn’t know how to introduce the two just yet, so instead he clung to the familiar.

“Mollymauk, it seems like we might have a lot to talk about, -”

“Like how you two were KISSING!?” Jester interrupted excitedly.

“Um, well, ah - I meant more of where we are and what to do about Lucien.” Caleb replied.

“You don't have to worry about him anymore.” Sprinkles was once again on Jester’s shoulder, speaking much louder than a wessel should. “I have removed his soul and sent it to the Moonweaver to deal with it. She is a lot better with that kind of thing.”

“Um thanks?” Molly said, clearly still thrown off by the talking fey wessel.

“Not a problem. Besides, I am the only one around here who gets to strangle people until death.” That should have been a horrifying sentence, but Jester was just giggling along with it.

“Ok, before we talk about anything else, you lot wouldn't happen to have my coat? And a place to sleep, I feel like I haven't slept in a year!” Molly playfully whined. He did however look fairly tired. They could get the rest of their questions answered later, all that matter was right now. And right now, they had Molly back with them. Caleb had Molly back.

He couldn't help but shoot the tiefling silly grins as he summoned the tower, looking forward to every next moment Caleb could spend with Mollymauk Tealeaf. Even as he pushed back the guilt of still having Essek by his side.

#critical role #caleb widogast #caleb saves the world #mollymauk is fine #mollymauk tealeaf #i love molly #lucien is an asshole #shadowgast #its still totally a thing and eating caleb alive #mollymauk #i am hopelessly in love with mollymauk and caleb #circus man #its complicated #cr2e136 #cr fanfic #cr fandom

[c-is-for-circinate]

One of the major issues with the M9 refusing to ever take or maintain a nemesis for any amount of time is that defining arcs the way we did in Campaign 1--based on the enemy Vox Machina was fighting--doesn’t quite work the same way.  Y’all know how I love me some arcs, though, and I think I’ve got a pretty strong sense for how I’d split them up given the chance, at least from where we’re standing now, so hey, why not write it down so I can reference back to it in thirty episodes when I’ve been proven wrong about where the story’s going all over again?

Arc 1: Getting to know you (OR: Okay, I’m with these assholes.  Why am I with these assholes?)  Episodes 1-25. 

Once upon a time when I was young and very cocky, I wrote an enormous overview of this particular arc, and I think most or all of what I said still stands.  ‘Nuff said.

Arc 2:  Things fall apart (OR: Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.  What am I willing to lose?)  Episodes 26-30.

It is barely four episodes, it is barely an arc, and if I were trying to divide up the series to talk about it in an end-of-campaign episode I’d include these in the previous set, but narratively, this is its own story.

Arc 3:  The cure for everything is salt water (OR: I love them and we’re not talking about it or anything else that matters.  What is required of me?)  Episodes 31-48, give or take.

I very much consider the pirates arc to be the emotional avoidance and recovery arc.  After just barely surviving Shady Creek Run, the team flees the empire entirely and puts to sea.  Plot-wise the story is about U’kotoa and snake cults and piracy, but emotionally it’s all about the characters figuring out, individually and collectively, how to try to be okay and how to begin to step away from the people they thought they were in order to take care of each other.  I do want to rewatch and write an analysis for this one day, about Jester learning the difference between romance novels and real life and Nott spending two months at sea and Beau learning to wait, and Fjord for maybe the first time in his life learning to say no.

(Interestingly, the arc is where the group really starts to resolve the questions from Arc 1.  They’re together because of friendship, and loyalty, and love.  Friendship and loyalty and love are worth a lot.)

Arc 4:  Xhorhas (OR: Now that the shit has hit the fan it’s time to step up and deal.  What do I actually want?)  I call this episodes 49-69, again give or take, because there is such a sharp break when they lose Yasha.

These are the episodes when they stop avoiding the world that was going to shit behind them, and discover they have to actually make decisions about it.  They confront the idea that Xhorhas might be okay and war is complicated.  For the very first time the Mighty Nein has to consider taking sides.  This arc starts with the group alone and helpless in Felderwin, moves through their ascendancy as heroes of the Dynasty, and ends with the Nein using their strength and power just carelessly enough to free something horrific.  Episode 56 in the Bright Queen’s throne room neither begins nor ends this arc, but it does define it: the entire story here is about the M9 coming face to face with the fact that they actually do have power in the world, and they can do something with it--and maybe they have to.

(Again--they haven’t quite settled anything lingering from Arc 3, but they’re starting to make a pretty good dent on answering the questions of Arc 2.  They always knew they weren’t willing to lose each other, but now they’re finding out, for sure, what they are and are not willing to sacrifice on behalf of the rest of the world.  They don’t know for sure what their yeses are, but they’re figuring out their nos)

Arc 5: The aasimar in irons (OR: We are desperate and we cannot stop but we have to be stronger now.  What can we actually do?)  Episodes 70-86. 

Just like the Iron Shepherds, this is a desperation arc, but these episodes specifically weren’t about the M9 coming to terms with just how desperate they could get.  They already know just how desperate they can get.  This arc, following on the discovery in Arc 4 that they have power, is now all about dealing with the consequences and limits of it.  They cannot defeat Obann in open battle but they can complete a step in Caduceus’s personal quest, they can face dragons, they can rescue an archmage.  Beau is an Expositor and Fjord is a paladin, and they are not always strong but they are not slaves, and at the very very end, Yasha isn’t either.

(I’m the weakest on this one because, following the pattern of the story finally resolving major questions about two arcs after they’re first really essential, we haven’t answered this one yet.  It is very, very good at bringing back the question ‘what is required of me?’, though, and presenting us with a team that knows how to take care of each other, that will bury Fjord in magical items and hunt Yasha to the ends of Exandria, that no longer needs to ask what their responsibilities are before they set forth to stop the Angel of Irons.  They already know.)

Arc 6:  How we live now (OR: So this is who we are, after all that.  How do we move forward with ourselves?)  Episodes 87-present.  (My guess: this arc ends between episode 105 and 110.  They’re averaging just under 20 episodes each, so we’ll see.  I suspect episode 97 may have been the climax of a lot of things.)

We’re still in the middle of this arc, but here’s what I’m seeing: an entire party confronting the fact that they have changed so very much in the past 90-odd episodes, and now somehow have to figure out who these new selves are and how to keep going.  Nott is Veth and desperate to leave, to stay, both and neither.  Beau is terrified and self-sabotaging.  Caduceus’s family is going home, but he isn’t, not yet.  Jester is a devoted acolyte and the founder of a cult and so utterly torn.  Fjord still isn’t sure what being a paladin quite means.  Yasha is throwing pit fights and eating seafood and struggling through the aftermath of the entire last arc.  Caleb has admitted to love.   The question here is, has to be, what have I become and what do I even do about it?

(They haven’t entirely resolved what do I want yet, but on the other hand--yes, they have, haven’t they?  They want peace, and they’re going to fucking get it.  They want each other so badly.  They want Essek alive and redeemed and they want Trent Ikithon dead.  They want so many, sometimes-contradictory things, but--they know what those things are, now.  They’re admitting to them out loud.  They just don’t know how to get them yet.)

I don’t think there’s any predicting what major arc might come next, or what big questions it will ask of the characters, but I do think we can start to guess at what questions it might answer.  I expect the next five or ten episodes to be full of characters wanting things and not sure what to do about them.  I expect the twenty or so episodes after that to be a marathon of outward competence as the party struggles in some brand new direction I can’t even imagine just yet.  I expect arc 8 to have real plans for whatever the future actually looks like when all the adventuring is done.  I expect to be dead wrong about all of it.

#critical role #driveby meta attack #cr spoilers

[iatethepomegranate]

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 16

In which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, learns to be a person separate from the trauma that shaped his life for so long, and begins the arduous process of preventing what happened to him from happening to anyone else. It gets far more personal than even he could have anticipated.

Chapter summary: Jester accidentally strikes a nerve and makes amends, and Caleb receives an unexpected message that is both welcome and frightening.

Chapter notes: Chapter title is from La Vita by Beverly Glenn-Copeland

***

Chapter 16: And the body says "Remember you gotta breathe"

Caleb and Essek finally emerged for lunch, and the Nein (minus Beau and Yasha) broke into raucous applause as they stepped into the main chamber of the Chateau. The place was empty at this time, and Essek dropped his disguise. Yeza and Luc were, mercifully, not present. But Marion was.

“I will fireball this entire building and scatter your ashes in the sea,” Caleb said mildly, dragging Essek, cheeks plum-toned with a blush, to the two remaining seats at the Nein’s table.

“That’s a very cool line, Lebby,” said Veth. “You should save it for the bad guys.”

“These assholes are good practice,” Caleb replied.

Jester leaned over the table to grab Caleb’s hand, waggling her eyebrows. “Did you have a good time? You sounded really weird on the Sending. Omigod were you guys having sex?”

Essek was incapable of retaining his composure around the Nein, and the plum tone of his usual blush was turning redder by the second. “Shut up, Jester,” he said weakly.

Caleb stepped in before this got out of hand. “All right, that’s enough. We will accept your congratulations in the form of food, if you don’t mind.”

The conversation moved on, and the colour had faded from Essek’s cheeks by the time lunch arrived. Caleb wanted to scour the shops for all the paper and ink he could find before heading back to Rexxentrum. He would need to visit Felix tomorrow, and figure out whether his parents would let him go back to school. Essek was stretching his safety a bit to stay around Caleb for a little longer, with the intention of sticking around until they found Nico. They would need to think of a more permanent solution than disguise spells eventually. So they made plans to pick up all manner of random components that were easier to source in a port city than the Empire. Just in case inspiration struck and they needed a piece of sea glass or a really cool seashell for some reason.

The seashell was Jester’s idea. She dragged Caleb to the beach to find one, just the two of them. Caleb was fairly certain there were no spells that required seashells as a component, but he generally did not say no to Jester if he could help it.

“Hey, Cay-leb.” She had been holding his hand since they left the Chateau, and she swung it as they walked among the damp sand.

Ja?”

“Fjord and Mama said I made Essek really uncomfortable at lunch.” She had an eye out for shells, scanning their surroundings, but her mouth was downturned at the corners. “I’m sorry. I was trying to be, like, funny about it? Because I think I really freaked him out this morning.”

“Ja, you caught us at an… inopportune moment.” That was putting it mildly. Caleb had worked very hard to get Essek back in the mood after that, suspecting that it would have spiralled into a long-term problem if he’d let that ruin things. “Essek is a private person. He’s coming out of his shell a bit, but it needs to be on his terms. Thank you for not trying to touch him.”

“Yeah.” Jester stepped into the shallows and plucked a shell from the sand. “Ooh, this one’s pretty.” She tucked it into her pink haversack. “Should I apologise to Essek? I don’t know if he’ll want me to.”

“He will appreciate the attempt.”

“You sound like Fjord when he doesn’t like my ideas.”

Caleb snorted. “Your ideas are wonderful, Jester, and he knows that. They can simply have… unexpected consequences. An apology sounds good. Just don’t… ask for details of what you interrupted this morning.”

“Can I ask you?” A cheeky eyebrow quirk.

“Bathtub sex,” Caleb said flatly. Because if she heard it from him, at least she wouldn’t be bursting to know anymore, and that would make this whole thing easier.

“Ooh. Very sexy.”

Caleb busied himself looking for a shell while blood flowed to his face.

“You know Fjord and I tried that once? He slipped and broke his tailbone, so I had to take very good care of him.”

Caleb sighed, and resigned himself to the fact his blush would not die down any time soon. “You are a caring person, Jester.” Caleb, personally, did not mind her teasing or oversharing; it was a sign of their friendship.

“Thank you, Caleb! You know I was bullshitting you about the seashells, right?”

“Ja, I know.”

“Help me find a weird one so I can scare Fjord later.”

***

Caleb gave Jester the space to talk to Essek upon their return, this time to Veth’s place. He set up in the kitchen/dining room to sort through what he and Essek had found at the market. Luc practiced shooting old bottles behind the house under Veth’s supervision while Yeza worked in the lab. Kingsey was watching Caleb work, asking questions about all the components he had picked up.

As Caleb sorted, he found a quiet moment to send a quick message to Beauregard to inform her of their plans. “Hallo, Beauregard. Essek and I will return home tomorrow. Is everything all right? Can I get you anything?”

Beauregard’s reply was a little delayed, stretching the limits of the spell. “Uh, yeah. We’re cool. Um, Nico snuck in when Yasha and I were out. Ate some bread, took his stuff, left a thank you note.”

Caleb dropped the pouch of pearls he had been counting. Kingsley dropped to his knees to pick them up.

“Careful, Magic Man,” he said, passing the pouch back, holding onto Caleb’s hand. He pocketed one pearl with his free hand, but Caleb couldn’t bring himself to care. “Are you good?”

Caleb took a breath. “Ja. I think so.” He cast another Sending. “How long ago? Could he still be in Rexxentrum? What did the letter say? Have you told the Soul?”

“Breathe, dude. I told Yudala. Haven’t seen the letter yet. Yasha just told me about it. This was maybe three hours ago. Can’t be far.”

Nico was either in, or close to, Rexxentrum. He’d chosen to come back. He’d taken up Caleb’s offer to go to the house. He’d eaten. He had his spellbook. His coat and shoes.

“Hey.” Kingsley was still holding his hand. “Breathe.”

“Ja, I’m getting that a lot,” Caleb said faintly. He took a breath.

Kingsley guided him to the nearest chair, pushing him into it. “Sit. I’ll find your boy.”

As he left, Caleb said, “I know you take that pearl, by the way. You need practice.”

“Yeah, fuck you, too.”

In the few minutes Kingsley was away, Caleb set the pouch of pearls on the table, put his hands on his knees, and breathed. Willed himself to stay calm. This was good news. It didn’t need to panic him. Nico wasn’t talking, but he was listening. That was a good thing.

It was also a lot of pressure, now that getting him back genuinely seemed possible. He would wait until he knew the contents of that note before he did anything. Then, depending on what the letter said, another Sending was probably in order. To let him know that he was welcome back any time.

Kingsley came back with every member of the Nein who was still in Nicodranas, which did include the one he had been looking for, just not exclusively. Essek crouched in front of Caleb, a new shell necklace swinging from his neck that must have been an apology gift from Jester.

“Are you all right?” He took both of Caleb’s hands.

Caleb managed to smile, just a little bit. “I’m fine. It was good news.”

“What happened?” asked Veth.

“Nico has been to the house, while Beau and Yasha were out. He left a note.”

Jester butted in. “What did it say? What did it say?”

“I don’t know. Beauregard could only tell me what Yasha told her. She is still at work.” Caleb’s brain was whirling, not quite clicking as neatly as he would have liked. “I… may need to leave early.”

“Or you could send Yasha a message,” said Fjord. Thank the Wildmother for his voice of reason, because Caleb was apparently incapable of thinking clearly.

“The spell only lasts a moment. If she does not have the letter in front of her…”

“I’ll tell her you’re going to message her so she can find the letter,” said Jester. “Then you message her and she reads it for you.” She was casting the spell before Caleb had a chance to reply; Fjord scrambled to count her words. “Hey, Yasha! Caleb’s gonna ask you to read the letter to him. Can you grab it now? He’s, like, kinda freaking out about it. Bye!” She listened, while Caleb gave her a look that he hoped indicated both his gratitude and also his barely-there annoyance that she used up so many words just to tell Yasha he was panicking.

Veth latched onto Caleb’s arm, pressing her cheek against his bicep. Caduceus began to heat water for tea, his go-to whenever shit went down. Caleb felt a little ridiculous for reacting so strongly to something good, to the point that all his friends were doing damage control on him.

“Okay, Caleb,” said Jester. “Yasha’s gonna grab the letter and read it to you.”

“Danke. I will give her a moment.” Caleb tugged on Essek’s hands. “Get up before your knees give out, for fuck’s sake.”

Essek floated upward, sitting criss-cross applesauce in the air so he remained only slightly above Caleb’s eye level. “Better?” he said, entirely teasing him for fixating on random trivial bullshit. Not that Caleb thought the condition of Essek’s joints was trivial. But Essek probably did.

Caleb ignored the teasing; enough time had probably passed for Yasha to find the note. “Hallo, Yasha. If the note is twenty-five words or fewer, could you please read it to me? Otherwise, give me a summary. Danke.”

Yasha wasted no words. “Dear Caleb. In brackets: Bren, question mark? Thank you for the hospitality. Sincerely, N. That’s all it says. Beau told the Soul. Not Astrid, though.”

Another spell. “Thank you, Yasha. I’ll tell Astrid. I will be home tomorrow.”

“See you!”

The spell faded away. Caleb had two more Sendings to cast, and then he could process all of this.

“Astrid, it’s Bren.” Using his old name was never comfortable, but Astrid was one of the few people he allowed that privilege. “Nico took up my offer to visit the house. He ate and took his things. Three hours ago.”

“He will not be far,” Astrid replied. “I will adjust the search orders, but you and Felix remain our best options. Enjoy Nicodranas.”

Caleb let out a long breath. “Okay, one more spell.” He cast. “Hallo, Nico. I hear you visited my home today. I will return to Rexxentrum tomorrow. You are welcome any time.” He held his breath, waiting for a response, cursing the word economy of the spell for forcing him into somewhat stilted language. He hoped it was good enough.

This time, Nico answered. “Hallo… Caleb? I’m not… I don't want to talk. But thank you.” That was it.

And that was a lot. Caleb found himself slumped in his seat, one more knot in his gut finally unravelling.

“He spoke to you?” asked Essek.

“Briefly,” Caleb said, barely getting the word out through a lump in his throat.

“That’s very good,” Caduceus said quietly, preparing herbs for the teapot. “You’re doing a good job, Caleb.”

A weak laugh. “I’m trying.”

“Keep doing what you’re doing,” said Fjord.

“We’re all very proud of you,” Veth added. Caleb dragged her into a tight hug.

***

One last evening in Nicodranas. Caleb and Essek stayed with the Brenattos again, during which time Nugget blinked in for a visit. Covered in mud.

“We’ve stopped trying to tell him where he can and can’t go,” Yeza said tiredly as Jester cheerfully hosed the dog down with her control water spell. “As long as he doesn’t destroy the neighbour’s yard again, he seems fine.”

“At least he comes back,” Caleb said. “Beauregard is still bitter about Professor Thaddeus.”

Essek sighed deeply; he had been on the receiving end of far too many rants from Beauregard, even though he himself had never met the owl. “Do not speak his name. She will reach across time and space to yell about him.”

“Who the fuck is Professor Thaddeus?” asked Kingsley.

“Beau’s asshole pet owl,” Veth explained. “He abandoned us the first time we boarded a ship, which we accidentally stole, and she curses his name to this day.”

Kingsley, who knew everything there was to know about the Nein’s bullshit at sea, simply nodded. “That tracks.”

Caleb was at risk of overthinking everything going down in Rexxentrum again, so he transformed himself into a golden retriever as soon as Nugget was clean and chased the blink dog around the Brenattos’ small back garden. And then Luc chased both of them, mercifully without his crossbow because Yeza had preemptively confiscated it.

Once all three of them were exhausted, dog-Caleb collapsed in a heap in front of the couch, resting his chin on Jester’s knee while she used one hand to give him scritches and the other hand to give Nugget scritches on her other side. Luc draped himself over Caleb’s back and fell asleep.

When Caleb turned back at the end of the hour, the boy didn’t react, so he resigned himself to lying on the floor with his now-human head in Jester lap. She kept giving him head scritches anyway.

“I wish I was watching,” Jester whispered. “This would be a very cute picture.”

Essek, smirking, hovered to sit in front of the four of them, and produced an illusion replicating what he saw. Caleb hid his face in Jester’s skirt instead of looking at himself, because he would want to kiss Essek if he examined the way the man looked at him. And he was trapped by obligation beneath a sleeping child. You did not move for sleeping animals or children (or Beauregards), unless you absolutely had no choice (or Mollymauk dragged you away to examine magic shit, but that was covered under the no choice category).

“Aw, are you shy, Caleb?” Jester said. “Could someone get my--oh, thanks, Fjord.” A soft scratching of pencil on paper.

“Would you do me a favour, Jester?” asked Essek.

Caleb laughed against the fabric of Jester’s skirt; he was already doing her a favour with the illusion.

“I’ll do you all the favours, Essek! What do you need?”

“Could I have a copy of that, when you’re finished?”

“Of course! I’ll hide some extra dicks in yours.”

Essek sighed. “Thank you, Jester.”

Caleb fell asleep for a time. He woke up on the couch with a blanket and Nugget draped over him. The smell of something cooking was in the air; the spices were somewhat familiar but he couldn’t quite place them. Probably something local. He listened to the clattering of the kitchen for a while, sleepily scratching Nugget’s head, until he finally found the energy to open his eyes. He was dimly aware there were others in the room, but Essek drew his attention. And held it.

Essek hovered by the arm of the couch closest to Caleb’s head, making notes in one of his old Aeor field journals. Caleb let nostalgia wash over him; he remembered that book. It was one of the last before they had finally ended their weeks-long expedition and turned to face the rest of the world and all its complicated bullshit. Caleb had been popping in and out with risk teleports for supplies and Trent’s trial (and turning down the job offer from Ludinus). Getting away from it all and unravelling secrets with Essek had kept him sane through all of it.

It had taken them a while to speak plainly about their feelings for each other. Longer than the rest of the Nein probably knew. But, ultimately, the main difference before and after Aeor was the amount of physical touch they shared, and occasionally its nature. But only occasionally.

And some of those changes had happened before they spoke of it.

Essek, not looking up from the book, reached out to lay his arm on the couch, fingers barely making contact with Caleb’s hair. He lifted the book into the air and let it hover, continuing to make notes. Caleb knew enough about Essek’s floating cantrip at this point to know he could float and cast a concentration spell at the same time, at least when he wasn’t under duress. And Caleb still found that very cool. Or maybe Essek was just extending his floating cantrip to the book. Still cool, either way.

Jester was cackling softly, drawing his attention. She had her sketchbook out again and kept shooting glances in their direction with a cheeky raised eyebrow. Caleb, trapped beneath a sleeping dog, resigned himself to his fate as Jester’s model once again. She and the rest of the Nein were coming to Rexxentrum shortly for his speech (oh fuck he had a speech in mere days at the Academy), so there would be ample opportunity for her to get this out of her system.

Oh, who was he kidding? Jester would never get this out of her system and that was one of many reasons he loved her. And maybe he would pull her aside later and ask for copies of her sketches as well. Essek would have to leave eventually, and it would be nice to have something to look at in his absence. Even if Caleb’s memory was good enough to keep an image in his mind, he liked having tangible things to remember his loved ones by.

The loss of the letters still ached sometimes, even if he had needed to let them go. The quilt the Nein had bought for him helped when he was at home. Maybe he could collect happier memories now. Yasha used to press flowers in a book for Zuala, and he had a bare spot in his book holsters now. Both of them could use some happier momentos. Caleb had purchased a pair of nice leather-bound journals from a bookstore earlier today; maybe he would give one to Yasha and see what she did with it. It would feel less weird than doing this alone. And Yasha would understand the need for it.

At some point during Caleb’s mind journey, Essek had begun to stroke his hair. Caleb closed his eyes and tried to stay in the moment. Treasure it. He buried his fingers in Nugget’s fur. The dog huffed in his sleep.

Kingsley had evidently started watching Jester draw at some point and whispered advice for where she could hide dicks in the drawing. Fjord sighed but didn’t stop him. Caleb couldn’t hear Caduceus, Veth, Luc or Yeza in the immediate vicinity. Caduceus was probably helping with dinner, and maybe Luc had been tucked into bed upstairs. Or was off playing outside again.

A louder clatter of plates caught Nugget’s attention and he blinked away, earning startled yells from Veth and Caduceus in the kitchen. Caleb sat up and stretched. His spine cracked a bit; he was getting too old to sleep on floors and couches comfortably. He dug his thumbs into the back of his neck, working the stiffness out of the muscle.

“You get that too, huh?” said Fjord. Numerically, Fjord was a few years younger than him at most, and half-orcs aged a little quicker than humans. Functionally, they were probably close to the same age. It was hard to tell, given Fjord had started to go a bit grey on account of seeing some serious shit.

Caleb grumbled a bit, the edges of sleep clinging to his consciousness enough that he was still a bit cranky. “Sometimes I forget I’m thirty-fucking-four.”

“Don’t you remember everything?” asked Kingsley.

“Ah.” He chuckled ruefully. “Not quite.” He did not bring up the fact he had only spent twenty-three of his years with the expected level of awareness for his age (more awareness, actually, in the case of his toddlerhood). Eleven years of little-to-no memory continued to fuck with his head, even years after the fact.

Even without saying it, he had managed to bring down the mood of the room. He was good at that. Jester had even stopped sketching. She had lost five years of her own, but at least she knew where they had gone. Not that Caleb would ever say that to her; it would sound crueller than he meant. And he knew she wasn’t sombre for her own sake, but for his, because she knew why Caleb was missing eleven years. And she was the kind of loving person who would freak out when she found out stepping on grass hurt it (because she had found that out). Even Kingsley caught the drop in the mood; Caleb wasn’t sure exactly how much he knew of Caleb’s experiences, but he did know bits and pieces. Which bits and pieces, however, was unclear.

Then Fjord stretched his arms upwards, a dull crack in his shoulders. “There we go. Can’t let you have all the fun, Caleb.”

Essek grimaced. “Agh, will you two stop that?”

Jester laughed, a little wetter than Caleb would have liked. “We should start a grumpy old people club. Essek isn’t invited because he’s, like, a toddler in elf years.”

“I beg your pardon!”

“He will sulk if we keep him out,” said Caleb. “Very childish behaviour, I know, but you know the fair folk are basically children until they’re five hundred.”

“Please! I am most definitely an adult.”

“Barely.”

Essek scowled at him, because Caleb was technically right. Essek had been an adult for about twenty years. For an elf? That was barely anything.

“And Jester, I’m sorry, but you are not eligible either. You are neither old nor grumpy.”

“But I gave away five years!”

“I lost eleven and have moderate joint pain,” Caleb replied mildly. “I even found a grey hair the other day.”

“Ooh, where was it?” Jester set her sketchbook aside, propping her chin up on hands braced on her knees. “In your dick hair?” Fjord coughed suspiciously like he had found his own fair share of grey hairs in that region himself.

“Ja, actually. Not where I had expected to find one, but here we are.” It wasn’t Caleb’s first grey hair; he’d found a few here and there before. But that one had been rather memorable.

Kingsley’s tail swished around the way it did when he was thinking something probably not appropriate for polite company. “Oh? How’d you find it?”

Essek sighed and opened his field journal. He was awful at lying to friends. Made sense, since he’d never needed that skill until a few months ago.

“Oh, Essek found it,” Caleb said, because the game was up anyway.

Kingsley smirked. “I thought so.” He didn’t push further; Kingsley was actually quite good at poking boundaries without breaking them. Most of the time. By now, he knew Caleb was very open to teasing of a sexual nature while Essek’s threshold was much lower. Jester, still chastened after whatever Fjord and her mother had said to her about making Essek uncomfortable, snickered a bit but said something.

Caduceus emerged to gather everyone for dinner.

#shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #critical role #cr2 #fanfiction #my fics #the pomegranate's professor widogast fic

[setsailforthestars]

I am just thinking about how Vox Machina would react to the Mighty Nein. Like imagine they pop over to Deastock to visit Tary for a 30 year reunion or some shit and he starts telling them about this band of idiots making a name for themselves in the Empire. Of course Vox Machina can't leave Wildemount without seeing this for themselves, for the nostalgia of it all, and manage to track down the Mighty Nein in the streets of Zadash.

I feel like Grog would take one look at Yasha's whole goth warrior thing she's got going on and IMMEDIATELY challenge her to a fight and while she's stumbling through her answer there's Beau, fists up, ready to throw down all like 'babe is this guy bothering you.' Scanlan would smoothe it out and they'd go for drinks and Grog would take them both on in a fighting pit and probably lose because a Monk/Barbarian melee combo is so deadly but he'd love every minute of it and they'd all get drunk with Scanlan after.

Pike and Veth would hit it off instantly, bonding over being the mom friends, and end up furiously making button friendship bracelets in the corner of the bar.

Percy would take one look at Caleb and be like 'is anyone going to adopt this brilliant tortured soul' and then not wait for an answer. Ten seconds later they're a mile deep in conversation with one of his guns dismantled in front of them, collaborating on mixing magic and weaponry and sensing a deeper pain in each other that they resonate with but of course need not discuss. The gun would draw Veth's attention and she'd amble over and make fun of them with Tary, while her new best friend Pike goes over to get drunk with Grog and co but runs into Fjord on the way who is silently watching his friends and immediately finds a way to make him laugh. They'd get to talking about his background and she'd regale him with stories of her time on the sea during her recovery from being brought back to life while he recounted memories from his past with Vandran's crew that he'd never told anyone before.

Vex would be rattled at first by the force of Jester's personality but amused by her mischief and chaotic nature. There's something about her that reminds Vex of Garmelie from the Feywild, probably because of the dick she absently scratches into a table while they're talking, and she loses herself in reminiscing for awhile until she tunes back into the conversation just as Jester is talking about the tragic romance between her parents. It makes her smile, knowing this source of joy and light still has her family unlike so many of Vox Machina.

Meanwhile at the end of the table Keyleth and Caduceus immediately bond over their connections to Melora and are definitely concocting a spiked tea with the various bits of hallucinogenic fruit he still has and the mushrooms he collected somewhere on the way.

Vex would be the one to figure out who exactly the blue Tiefling's god is... and their reactions? Now that's a story for another time

#critical role #long post #meta #vox machina #the mighty nein #vox machina x the mighty nein #molly and Vax are probably hanging out in the afterlife #this is before rumblecusp tho cuz they know keyleths mom #and i forgot to include that

[naturalnein]

I think she knows

“Beau.” A laugh burbles from Jester’s throat. “Beauuuu. I know you’re trying to tell me you had a crush on me. I’m trying to tell you I had a crush on you, too.”

...

or: Beau and Jester’s waltz becomes a confessional

alternatively, read on ao3 and leave a comment

There is a bleak night before her, and then there is Jester. This is how most things start.

Caleb had left her on the dance floor with a sense of finality and bemusement, the way he always seemed to make every conversation as though it was their last. And as always, it sends her on a spiral. Already prone to overthinking, Beau accepts that this is how she’ll end her evening and slips into the shadows of the room. She allows herself to remember the Nein’s early days, ruminate on how they’ve all changed, how she’s changed, her feelings about these friendships she’s formed, her feelings about Caleb, about--

Jester stumbles into her arms. It’s no accident, by the gleam in Caleb’s eye, and she can read his expression like a book: You talked to me, now talk to her. She wishes she had a free hand to flip him off, then doesn’t when Jester intertwines their fingers and giggles. 

“Look at this, Beau.”

A small unicorn dangles from her palm--their palms, pressed together. Beau knows immediately where it came from, and can’t help the infectious smile that comes to her face. She grins and nods like a fool, following Jester’s lead. No words have to be spoken between them to know this is a win. 

A pair of dancers bump into them and after a slurred little oops leaves Jester’s mouth, she untangles their fingers and puts the figurine safely in her dress pocket. Her hand attracts back to Beau’s and there is stepping on a couple of toes, then they fall into step. Jester’s knowledge of the dance makes up for Beau’s lack thereof, and it seems for a moment like they blend into the quiet rhythm, like Beau can forget the weight she’s carrying. 

Then: Jester leans in conspirationally. “Did you hear what Yasha--”

“You know I really, really liked you,” Beau spits, words colliding into each other as they leave her mouth. She’s sure, at this nonexistent distance, that Jester must feel her pulse racing. Caleb is in her head, laughing, calling her tactless and tenacious.

The look of surprise that crosses Jester’s face almost scares Beau off the conversation entirely. She can play it off, pretend she never said anything, they can even talk about Yasha if she wants. But then Jester recovers and her face flushes and she smiles, teeth catching her lower lip. “I liked you too, Beau.”

Beau’s heart goes heavy. It was even worse this way. She thought, surely the way she said it, hurried with embarrassment, that Jester would understand that she hadn’t really meant like, she’d meant in love. She’d meant that she’d spent every night lying awake thinking about those shiny fangs that only appeared in her genuine smiles, the violet freckles across her nose and the diamond dust that glittered on her chest, the playful tail that was tickling the back of Beau’s calf. She’d meant that for months, loving Jester, even in private, had made her heart swell larger than she thought she could bear. Beau loved her so much she thought she’d die from it. There was no way to explain that, but she’d hoped “really, really liked” could have done the job somehow.

This is what Caleb knew, because Veth had surely told him, and this is what she had to explain to him was over. As all-encompassing as it had been, she wasn’t in love with Jester anymore. But he had the miraculous ability to pinpoint other people’s hauntings, and Jester was Beau’s. So he’d done the most Caleb thing he possibly could, and took the matter into his own hands. He’d pushed Jester towards her on a night of vulnerability, Beau had taken the bait, and now she had to deal with the mess she’d created.

“Jes that’s—that’s not really what I meant by like. I don’t mean to fuckin’... make this weird or anything— between us, I mean—but I’m trying to tell you I had like a thing for you, y’know? A romantic thing? I don’t mean to get all TMI or whatever—“

“Beau.” A laugh burbles from Jester’s throat. “Beauuuu. I know you’re trying to tell me you had a crush on me. I’m trying to tell you I had a crush on you, too.”

Beau stumbles, sending the waltz out of rhythm. She and Jester bump into another couple who glare, half affected, and take a few steps away. After a moment of surprise, Jester seamlessly reorients them to the beat and takes the lead. Focusing on the steps helps Beau clear her head, despite the fact she feels like someone set off a firework in her blood, exploding to her synapses. This she had not prepared for.

After half a minute of silence and box steps and composure, Beau fixes her gaze on Jester. “Are you—are you serious? Because y’know you don’t have to just say that because I did, I get that you and—” it feels wrong, somehow, to say his name, in a moment that feels so private and theirs “—you know have your own thing going. I’m not here to wreck that.”

“No, Beau. I liked you.” They spin, and Jester loses some of her composure. “I thought that maybe you were just my best friend, y’know? I loved you so much because that’s just what best friends were like but then…”

Jester furrows her brows, and on impulse Beau tightens her grip: half in reassurance, half to stop herself from smoothing out the wrinkle that forms there with her thumb. “What is it?”

“You were going to sacrifice yourself. To the hag. And the thought of having to say goodbye to you, it hurt. It hurt so much and I was so scared of seeing you go I had to come up with another plan to save you.”

“You were a hero.”

“Because that’s what people who love each other do. They save each other.” Jester’s voice wavers, eyes unfocussed over Beau’s shoulder. She sounds almost melancholy.  “Just like in the stories.”

Beau tries to follow her gaze, but everyone in the room is spinning and she can’t track who could possibly be the target of her dismay. Maybe no one at all. It’s so rare to watch the Jester she knows slip away into hopelessness. She takes a shot in the dark: “Not everything is a story, though, is it?”

“No,” Jester mumbles, embarrassed by her own emotions. Beau wants to hug her and tell her it’s okay, but can’t figure out how to do so without breaking the rhythm of the dance and making a scene. “It’s not.”

They go in circles for another few moments, in a silence edging on the beat of uncomfortable. What remains unsaid hangs heavy between them, and just when the music shifts and Beau thinks Jester is going to slip right between her fingers to another, better partner, the tiefling speaks. 

“How did you know you liked me?”

Beau breathes a sigh of relief and smiles. This is something she can define. “I think that I always did? As soon as I met you, it was like watching someone stumble out of a fairytale. Twice as pretty as you were naive, a pastry diet and a quest for your father? You were unreal, Jes. Like a fucking princess. But then I realized you’re more than that. You’re… you’re funny, you make me laugh, your plans are fucking ridiculous, but you’re clever, like with the hag. You’re complicated. More than just childish. You’re… god, you were everything.” 

Jester’s eyes glass over with tears, and for a moment Beau can’t tell if that means she’s done well or fucked this whole thing up, but then Jester whispers “That’s really, really sweet, Beau. Thank you.”

“Well you don’t have to fucking—you don’t have to thank me, Jes, it’s just how I felt, and it’s all true.”

“I knoooow, but you’ve always believed in me. Even when we first met other followers of the Traveler. Do you remember that? You said you’d follow me, that you went where I did. Even though you knew I was going to get us in trouble.”

“Well it seemed like fun at the time,” Beau interjects, but Jester rushes ahead. 

“And you just kept following me. You never stopped. That’s how I knew, Beau. That I had a crush on you. Because I thought about that day all the time.” Their feet pick up with the swell of the music. People are switching partners, but Jester’s grip is tight and Beau wouldn’t trade this moment for a single goddamn thing. 

“The Traveler told me to tell you so many times. He saw every sketch I ever did, Beau, and there were so many. I loved when you posed for me but I loved the ones I did when you weren’t looking even more, that sad look you’d get when you weren’t pretending for anyone, not even me. Is that creepy? I’m not a creep, Beau, I just liked you a lot. I had crushes before but this felt so different because you were you, so cool and powerful and--and a girl. It was scary and it made me mad, like when you went off with Reani, but it made me feel like in the books, y’know? It made me happy.”

Beau doesn’t know how to process any of this, that someone could love her in such a capacity. That the love she carries with her can be reciprocated, even if it comes a little too late. She has spent a quarter of her life in libraries and doesn’t have the vocabulary to express it. But Jester knows. She knows, so Beau defers to her defenses. She laughs and says: “You were jealous of Reani?” 

“Well she was basically a badass angel so yeah maybe I was but I would never tell her that she’s so nice and sweet, y’know?”

“Jester, Reani is basically you, but with a questionable willingness to kill lawbreakers.”

“Oh.”

A huff of a laugh. “Yeah. I spent a long time chasing people who were at least a little like you… That’s kinda embarrassing to say.”

Jester’s lips twist in a smile, and her fangs show, just a little. “I think it’s romantic, Beau. You were in loooove with me.”

“Heh, yeah. Yeah I was.” She says it so easily, as though she hadn’t carried around the weight of those words like a barbell balanced between her aorta for half a year, maybe longer. Beau had lived in fear that if Jester knew, if she knew, that they could never be this close again. Fear that Jester would become distant and Beau would lose more than a lover, she’d lose her best friend. 

But now she says it, Jester gripped in her calloused hands, waltzing in a bar, and doesn’t feel fear at all, only release.

“Beau?”

“Yeah?” 

Jester’s face flushes, deep violet and sheepish. “Can I kiss you?”

Beau feels her heart stutter. She doesn’t even pause to see if any of their friends are looking. “Uh, yes. Yes.”

Jester’s mouth is on hers before Beau can even pull their dance to a stop. She tastes like the stale beer she’d downed at the bar beforehand: soft lips and sour twinges of barley. It was sloppy, fangs biting into Beau’s mouth, horns knocking against her forehead, but so warm and longing it made Beau ache--ache for the girls they’d been before Rumblecusp, the girls who’d been so quietly in love with each other it was damn near invisible, who’d never known real devotion or real friendship, who’d dreamt of this moment in shades of impossible and somehow managed to pass each other, like ships in the night. 

As Beau and Jester pull away, strangers continue to dance around them. The night carries on breathing, gentle winds rushing through open windows and picking up their hair. The world still spins. Time had never stopped for them before, and it didn’t now, even at their most vulnerable.

“You don’t still have a crush on me, do you?” Jester whispers. Her lips are swelling, slightly.

“No,” Beau says, honest. “I think I need to learn to stop following and start leading, instead. Take charge of my own fate. Does that make sense? It doesn’t change the fact that you are a pretty-fucking-good kisser, Jes, that was amazing.”

Jester grins wide and Beau grabs her, reimmersing them into the crowd of dancers. “It also doesn’t change that I love you. You’re still my best friend, you know. Whatever happens, I’ll be right there with you, punching shit. But you don’t still…?”

“No, no. I love you, Beau, but I don’t think I know what a real relationship looks like outside of, y’know, smut. And Artie is going to need so much support; I don’t really know who I am when I’m not his high priestess, or whatever. Woof, there’s so much happening right now.” Jester’s voice cracks and she swallows hard; ghosts her hand over the pocket where the unicorn figurine resides. “Also, I guess not everything is a story, like you said. Not like Tusk Love, at least, though I never thought we were going to, like, have boat sex after I drowned and you revived me or anything crazy like that.”

Beau smirks. “Oh, really?”

“Okay well maybe I thought about it like once or twice but it really was kinda romantic, Beau, and we were on the sea for a really, really long time and I have a very good imagination.”

And Beau can’t help it, she laughs. She thinks, this is why I fell in love with her. She thinks, this is why she’s my best friend. 

“You know, we could pretend. Just for a little while. That this is a story after all,” Beau says.

Jester’s jaw goes slack. “You want to have boat sex with me?!” She screeches in a whisper. A few heads turn in their direction.

“No! No--god--I just meant we could dance here a little longer, like these other couples, and show them all up with our fantastic dancing skills.”

“Oh! Oh! That’s such a good idea, Beau. I’ll be like the Sapphire Princess and you can be”—her voice dips an octave—“my mysterious knight in shining armor.”

Beau pulls her close, as close as if she were to kiss her again, and whispers: “How about we’re just us? Just Beau and Jester. Just this once.”

Jester sighs heavily and relaxes into Beau’s arms. The exhaustion Beau has felt since she stepped out onto the dance floor finally shows in her tiefling friend; a few of the baubles hanging from her horns slump forward, making soft tinkling sounds as she leans her head on Beau’s shoulder. “That sounds pretty nice, too.”

Beau doesn’t spend a lot of time in the present. The monastery taught her to always be looking both ways: analyzing the past and assessing the future and taking notes and reporting back her findings. Already, she knows that she’ll have to map their path to Eiselcross, decipher deRogna’s true intentions, make sure that the Soul can track them if things go sour. She’ll leave a message and by morning, the Archivists will know many things about tonight. 

But Beau knows the things that she will leave out--like the smell of her best friend’s skin, the taste of her on Beau’s lips, or the warmth of their bodies pressed together in a sea of dancers.

And just because she can, just this once, she places a kiss in Jester’s hair. She imagines for a moment that there is nothing else but this--no mercenaries, no danger, no Nein--nothing but Jester tucked beneath her chin, swaying to the beat of a ballad. A room waiting upstairs and their lives stretched out before them, as wide as the coast.

#beaujester #lavorregard #beauregard lionett #jester lavorre #beau & jester #critical role #critfic #campaign 2 #critical role episode 109 #listen the waltz was the perfect opportunity for a good relationship chat #I want closure even if I have to write it myself #mine #emma does actually write

[pixieposts]

Febuwhump Day 10

AO3

Today I went with an Alt prompt: "Don't try to pin this on me"

Specific TW's

Brief Description of Injury

Referenced Fantasy Racism

“Don’t try to pin this on me!”

“You’re the one who had to bring up Molly, you know how he gets when you bring up Molly!”  

“I was just saying-”

“I know, I know what you were saying, but he ran off and we’re in a country that doesn’t like humans Beau.  Now look at him!”  

They both looked down at Caleb where he lay on the bed, blood coating one side of his face and seeping through his shirt.  They had spent the better part of the night hunting him down, only to find him in an alley by the Dim’s Inn accompanied by two rough looking drow and a very large half orc.  They had clearly beaten him senseless and would likely have finished the job if Fjord and Beau hadn’t gotten there when they did.  It had taken them twice as long as usual to get back to the house, only to find that the others were still out looking.  Caleb had passed out halfway home and now they had no way to contact Jester or Caduceus.  Fjord sighed, rubbing his temples.  

“Okay, whatever, it doesn’t matter right now.  We need to get him stable until the others get home”

She nodded, expression grim and made her way to the kitchen where they had the extra med kit stored.  Fjord pushed Caleb’s hair off his face, wincing at how it stuck to the dried blood, then went to work removing his coat, book holsters and shirt.  His chest was a mess of purpling bruises and more half-dried blood from the split skin along his ribs.  Fjord felt the welling up of regret and guilt as he tried to figure out the extent of Caleb’s injuries.  All of this had started because they had been arguing about how much time Caleb had been spending in the library lately.  Fjord had no problem with Caleb’s work ethic of course, he loved how dedicated Caleb was to learning everything he could.  The issue was in how it affected the rest of the wizards life.  He wasn’t sleeping, was barely eating, and hadn’t taken a proper bath in days.  Somehow it had devolved into an argument, as most conversations with Caleb did these days, and then Beau had jumped in with her well placed “you can’t keep using Molly’s death as an excuse to hurt yourself” and well... here they were.

Caleb hadn’t done what Fjord would have called “storming out” but he had made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with either of them at that moment.  

Beau returned with a bowl of lukewarm water, some rags, and the med kit.  They set to work cleaning Caleb up, not speaking other than what was absolutely necessary.  He hated the tense silence that surrounded them.  Beau was one of his best friends, his first mate, they trusted each other.  Arguing with her was rare for him, and he still had trouble sorting out how far their friendship would stretch.  As he went to bandage up the open wound on Caleb’s chest, her hand landed gently on his.

“Broken rib, we can’t bandage it too tight unless we wanna risk his lung”  

“Right” he grunted, annoyed with himself for not realizing it sooner.  

Once Caleb was as taken care of as they could get him, Fjord got up to dump the now pink water out and put away the kit.  He paused briefly to stoke the fire and grab some food from the cold storage in the kitchen.  He paused in the doorway of Caleb’s room, some part of him did not want to intrude on the scene before him.  Beau had perched herself on the edge of the bed, one hand wrapped tightly around Caleb’s limp one.  She was speaking quietly to him, whispered apologies Fjord knew he wouldn’t remember.  This side of Beau, the side that so clearly showed the love she felt for her fellow Empire kid, was such a rare sight still.  Fjord didn’t know when it had happened... sometime after the Iron Sheppard's, or possibly during that awful mess.  The Nein had all turned a corner the day they chose to come for himself, Jester and Yasha.  They had chosen to make this family work, and through everything that had happened since they had fought for each other as fiercely as they could.  

“I’m sorry”  

His voice was soft, and if he was honest, he didn’t know which of them he was really apologizing to.  They were two of the most important people in his life, and the idea that either of them could just... disappear so easily was something he didn’t like to think on.  Beau looked up at him and paused for a moment before nodding.  Just like that, the cloud of discomfort seemed to lift, and he made his way across the room to sit in the chair she had abandoned.  Caleb’s breathing had evened out, Beau had pulled a thin blanket up over his chest, so the only visible injury was the growing bruise along his jaw.  Fjord handed her a roll before taking one himself.  

“I worry about him too y’know” her voice was strained in the way it always was when she tried to talk about her feelings “all the time, he gets into these self-destructive streaks and... fuck I dunno”

“I know you do, I shouldn’t have snapped at you”  

“Nah, I know better than to bring up... well, you know”

“I get it, we can apologize when he gets up, make him eat something.  He can’t possibly ignore all of us.”

“Thanks Cap”

“Anytime”  

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday10 #brief description of injury #referenced fantasy racism #bjreaus

[nonwal]

I’ve seen some meta talking about whether various characters’ judgements of Artagan are unfounded (or subconsciously influenced by what their players know from c1) and...hm. Yes, he’s been extremely supportive of Jester and she’s consistently told the M9 that he’s her best friend and he’s super cool you guys. But that doesn’t mean that these characters’ suspicion towards him is unfounded, just that they’re founded on those characters’ personalities and previous life experiences, rather than anything Artagan has done or Jester has directly told them about him.

this is pretty long and based off of my own initial impressions of the most current episode (which I missed parts of,) so YMMV below the cut

First off. Caduceus. Let’s be frank, he’s sitting back and quietly judging everyone. I love him for it, but this isn’t news. I’d be surprised if he were 100% on board with any of this. Out of all the player characters, he’s always been the least in tune with who Jester actually is as a person.

Fjord. Remember when he ended up stuck in a pact with a pseudo-god, too scared to break away from it because he didn’t like who he was without his powers? That’s absolutely coloring the way he views Jester and Artagan’s interactions. I don’t necessarily agree with how he’s handled it (Jester doesn’t need to be coddled or protected, she’s not a child, just talk to her about your concerns, fucking hell,) but his judgement is based on very real fears. Right up until the end Fjord was telling everyone that he had the Ukutoa situation handled--he didn’t tell anyone when he lost his powers, he never voiced any of his doubts about his usefulness, he just let everyone assume things were fine. So it makes sense that he doesn’t entirely trust Jester telling him that Artagan’s her friend and she’s fine, especially considering that Fjord has become increasingly aware that (with his abysmal insight/wisdom score) he doesn’t actually know what’s going on behind the scenes most of the time.

Beau...well. Remember how her family had history with a mysterious figure granting them boons and then surprise, that figure turned out to be an evil fey being bent on causing misery? Remember what her initial relationship with Molly was like? Is anyone surprised that she doesn’t like Artagan, certified archfey bullshitter? Even ignoring her background, the same traits that make her a good investigator/expositor make her bad at trusting and letting go. She doesn’t expect things to go well, she assumes people are lying about their intentions, she gets suspicious and stubborn and defensive. Again, I don’t necessarily like how she handled this situation, but it absolutely makes sense considering who she is as a character and the biases she has.

Caleb’s harder to read. We know that A) he speaks sylvan and therefore presumably understands what to expect from a fey more than the others and B) he has some deeply fucked-up experiences with being manipulated by a powerful authority figure. He initially seemed to show wariness re:the Traveler, but he also did the same thing with Jester’s mom (and many other people besides.) After watching Artagan interact with Jester more, he seems to have relaxed somewhat and trusted that she has a handle on it, even if he might not trust Artagan himself. It’s also possible that he feels like he'd recognize manipulative behavior based on his own experiences and doesn’t think that’s the case here, or that he feels like he isn’t allowed to judge other people’s choices because of his own self-loathing. It’s hard to say the exact reason for it, but he has stepped back into a supportive role and is less suspicious than some of the others.

Yasha hasn’t said a ton about what she actually thinks of Artagan from what I recall, and I think a lot of people are interpreting her silence as strong disapproval when that may not necessarily be the case. She’s got the whole Obann thing she’s still working through, but that involved literal mind control and she doesn’t necessarily seem to be projecting her own issues onto Jester’s situation. Again, hard to read--she’s been a bit reserved in her support, but she’s also just reserved in general.

Veth has arguably handled this the best, and I do think part of that is because, as someone who blows stuff up and permanently glues dicks to people’s hands, she’s more in tune with Jester than the rest of the group. However, I also think it’s easiest for her to trust that Jester can have an equal relationship with Artagan because she doesn’t have the baggage that so many of the others do. The bad things that have happened to her weren’t due to trusted authority figures using their power to abuse her. She’s aware that dangerous power imbalances can happen, but that isn’t the lens that she fundamentally filters the world through, and so it’s easier for her to accept when that’s not the case.

Last but not least, Jester has...inadvertently exacerbated a lot of this by repeatedly introducing the Traveler as a super-powerful god that people should worship because he’s awesome, and defending his godhood whenever someone doubted it. If she’d mostly focused on their long friendship and less on the powerful deity thing, I wonder if it would’ve triggered everyone’s Mistrust of Authority™ alarms to the same degree or made the not-a-god reveal as troubling. Also, from the outside it’s easy to assume that the Traveler was asking her to recruit more followers instead of that being her own idea--and almost impossible to imagine that the Traveler being a god was also her idea. The rest of the Nein never heard Artagan’s own explanation for why he started a cult (that it was mostly Jester’s influence and he kinda got swept away by it,) so it’s easy to assume he’d been stringing her and everyone else along as a fun power trip. They also didn’t see him go “I don’t know wtf I’m doing, help,” so Jester helping him organize Travelercon probably seems like she’d been ordered to clean up his mess when he got bored of it, rather than a friend asking for advice because he’s in over his head. The Nein have mostly interacted with Artagan with Jester as an intermediary, and she’s been vague in many of her explanations because she’s trying to defend her friend. I don’t blame her for the resulting misinterpretation of events, but I can definitely understand why it happened.

as a final note--it’s easy to forget that Fjord and Beau are, frankly, very new to having real friends. They have excellent people skills in specific contexts, but both of them struggle with close interpersonal relationships because they don’t actually have a lot of experience with how those should work. I don’t think that not trusting Jester’s judgement and trying to shield her from her own (perceived) naivety is a good idea. I do think that that’s something they will eventually figure out, assuming they continue to put effort into self-improvement as they’ve pretty consistently done this entire campaign.

as a final final note--this is an improv game and people are allowed to play imperfect characters! that is what makes it interesting and fun! I like complicated relationships and this is not an attack on you or the players! please do not crucify me because my armchair interpretation of character motivations clashes with your own headcanon/your favorite ship/something a cast member said in some tweet I haven’t read/the moonweaver being in retrograde!

#critical role #cr meta #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #I probably used too many adverbs here but this entire thing's a bit of a mess anyway so who cares about the details #oh god it's 2am what happened