as sweet as you
pairing - jude bellingham x gn!reader genre - fluff warnings - none summary - this req
jude knew that one of the things you loved was anything sweet. ranging from cakes, to candy, to ice cream, anything that made you squeal from happiness as a sweet taste took over you tongue.
today was a rough day. even the smallest details annoying you to the maximum. jude noticed. the way your brows were knitted together, the way your hands were in fists most of the time. everything went the bad route.
“you alright m’love?” jude smiled, looking at your frustrated figure.
“well obviously not” you said, rolling your eyes and letting out a groan. you didn’t intend to snap at him, it just happened. continuing with your work, you brushed off his face that looked sad.
eventually jude left. he said he want for a walk, needing some fresh air. you thought it was weird, since he almost never went out alone, always having someone with him. but you decided not to make a problem out of it and continued typing even though your fingers were hurting. well actually, everywhere in your body hurt. you muscles were tense and you ached as you started at the computer in front of you for multiple hours.
you wanted to take a break, but your thoughts told you otherwise. this essay was due tomorrow, and you had to submit it in the next 30 minutes. sighing in defeat, you started tapping again.
you weren’t sure how long ago jude left, but you were craving his touch. just only now you had realised you snapping at him, and wanted to apologise, but due to his absence, that wasn’t possible. the room felt empty, almost cold, like jude was warming the room when he was present.
suddenly, the craving of something sweet took over you. you started thinking about a fluffy, creamy cake you once saw in a mukbang video. sadly, that wasn’t on your kitchen’s menu, so you opted to watch mukbang videos.
then, the familiar sound of the door’s lock being opened echoed around the house.
“babe, i’m home” jude yelled, this time sounding more cheerful than earlier. closing your laptop, you ran the stairs down and ran into jude’s touch. he let out a light groan, feeling weight over him.
“wooaah, i missed you too” jude said. “bought you something sweet aswell” he giggled, while carrying a cake that you had daydreamed of earlier. you mouth was watering, as you grabbed the cake from his hands. the cake was full with whipped cream. it was like a cloud. when you took a bite of it, it felt like you were floating.
“mmm” you hummed while closing your eyes. this made jude chuckle, as he tasted some of it aswell.
“am i forgiven?” you asked jude while staring at him with your cheeks full of cake.
“huh? for what?” he looked confused, brows furrowing.
“for snapping at you” you admitted. jude’s frown turned into a smile as he forgave you. well, the exam is a problem tomorrow, you thought.
💌 judeslove on tumblr.
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7 BL Newbie Moments of 2023 That Altered My Brain Chemistry
So I went through all my posts since the beginning of this journey and as much as I love dumping my insanity here without context or any punctuation, I feel that a lot of my fav moments deserve a bit more love and structure.
But first I need to put a bit of context so you won't be like "who the hell do they think they are" (aside from delusional I'm nothing, I promise) and my anxious overexplainer-heart is silenced.
My first BL TV show was Only Friends and only 5 months later I'm already throat deep into it (sorry). My watchlist is so endless that I sometimes (no, regularly) genuinely fear for my sanity. I'm still learning all the names and production houses but does that stop me from starting 10 other shows? NOPE.
I'm not new to queer fan spaces (avid manga reader since the yaoi days, my first ship was taito from digimon) but I am most definitely new to the brainrot levels these shows gave me.
And believe it or not, even though my shipper heart is over a decade old, I'm new to Tumblr and the fuel this platform added to the fire could burn down entire continents.
ANYWAYS if you're still here — please enjoy Noz's 100% self-indulgent moments!
1. The End And The Beginning - Only Friends
All I did was mindlessly scroll through the tumblr trends, no idea about how this website works, still sour and sad about the loss of my twitter bubble thanks to the elopocalypse—little did I know that fate would lead me to the wonderful world of BL shows! It was like this moment in isekai-esque movies where you get sucked into a world and you go WOOAAH once you arrive.
There was this show—on YouTube—100% unapolagetic about sex, relationships and queerness. Five minutes into the first episode, someone asks if they can bring their boyfriend to a hookup. This was ALL of my wildest dreams come true! Oh boy, was I naive.
I feel like Only Friends had me speedrun the whole BL industry. Branded pairs, production houses, fanservice, obsessive fans & haters, audience reactions influencing the storyline, EVERYTHING happened during Only Friends and I was just like "what the hell is going on here?" It was like the perfect case study for literally everything. Honestly I still don't really understand what's going on.
Unfortunately, this also led to the awful ending I erased from my brain and don't want to get into, I'm just gonna say Boston I will never forgive the writers for what they did to you. I dropped that show like a hot potato, filtered all possible tags and moved on — or so I thought.
I feel like I'm trying to recreate that first excitement when I discovered OF. But 20 shows later, I'm still not there. Does this make me sound like an addict? Yes, and this is why Only Friends EP 1 is my No. 1 moment that altered my brain chemistry.
2. The Boeing Incident - Only Friends
I talked about it just yesterday and I need to do it again because Boeing was the beginning of a thing that thought I'd never be capable of: lusting after real person TV characters. I talked about it in length here and here so the only thing I'm gonna add just for good measure is that I'd do anything, anything for a BostonBeoingNOZ threesome. Holy shit I'm cringing just writing this down but I need to get my point across.
3. Still Looking For That Kiss - Love in The Air
I know this is a general experience at this point but the chemistry between the couples in Love In The Air opened a whole knew world for me. I thought I knew chemistry but when I saw them, I realized I knew NOTHING.
It may sound weird but I'm still looking for that perfect kiss that's hitting all the right neurons in my brain. I have a hunch that one of these two pairs will deliver them one day, but until then I NEED to watch a million kisses for research.
This post by @talistheintrovert explains perfectly what I think about kissing in shows. Ji Chang Wook is still the blueprint for me.
But do I have a favorite BL kiss so far? Yes, yes I do. It's this ShinPeach beauty.
4. Main Lead Syndrome - Kiseki: Dear To Me
I am a second lead, side couple enby before I am human but I will defend these two until the end of time. My TL is flooded with Chen Yi, Ai Di, Nat and Louis while these two are over here falling in love over strawberry cake, cat analogies, failed cooking and all sorts of memory loss. Zongyi opened a fucking bakery for his babygirl and Zerui pretended to be a pretty dumdum to protect the love of his life.
I don't care how much you all love the two dumb (affectionately) gangsters, these two deserve the world, end of story. Also Kai Hsu and Taro Lin are bff's irl now, Taro said that Kai helped him get out of a very bad mental tate and I take that very personally.
5. The Fanservice is Fanservicing - Kiseki: Dear To Me
Speaking of Taro and Kai, the fact that I even know that they're bff's is another brainaltering moment that needs recognition because months later it led me to this TikTok of two actors I don't know of a show I don't watch, staring at them for ages and really considering watching it just because of it.
That is the power of fanservice my friends and I can put on my clownmask now because I avidly screamed left and right that fanservice should be forbidden when I learned about it. I blame Kiseki for that. But my point still stands, I hate actors doing stuff they're uncomfortable with. I just hope they're all friends and have fun and get that coin.
6. The One Just For Me - Playboyy
I've been lurking around Playboyy from the moment I found out they have the same writer as OF. And boy did it deliver so far! I already wrote a bunch here about which role Playboyy plays for me, but it's also a wonderful case study for my producer heart — watching the acting, directing, lighting, sets, props and storyline interact is fascinating.
People say the less you notice the better the show, which is correct, but I love all the flaws of this piece of media. IMHO it's the last puzzlepiece of the amazing, important social commentary the show delivers. All of the topics the couples represent need to get their very own show.
7. The Holy Grail - The Sign
Speaking of the less you notice — this is the sign for The Sign (again, sorry). There's a reason this show is loved and praised so widely because the production is on a whole other level. Adding the beautiful story on top of that, we have the potential for a holy grail here and I'm so in for the ride.
I keep saying I've entered the world of BL in it's absolute golden era. Never in a million years did I think I'd watch 5 shows simultaneosly but I love every single one of them so much I keep a whole spreadsheet on how I can be on time for every premiere every week alongside my work schedule.
Honorable mentions
KinnPorsche: VegasPete were my first dark, angsty, morally questionable couple ever (I'm a sissy okay)
Last Twilight: When I watched Extraordinary Attorney Woo, I cried several times about the wonderful media representation of disability. It means so much to me and Last Twilight is on par with that.
Bake Me Please: Thank you for giving me this beautiful kiss
Manner of Death: Thank you MaxTul for making gay makeouts fashionable
Bad Buddy: The one time I was glad I persisted so I could watch them most adorable phone scene on the planet
I Feel You Linger In The Air: It was too painful for me to finish but I loved the show with my whole heart and it deserves all the awards it got.
Kimi ni Todokanai: Japanese shows just hit different. I'll never get over the kissing Taiyaki.
The Novelist Series: THIS is how you kiss the one you're horny for my friends. Take notes directors.
Semantic Error: My fav webtoon -> Got Viki for the Series -> Found the BL corner of Viki -> Drew my attention to Tumblr -> This post.
Thank you for being the butterfly of my butterfly effect.
And thank YOU if you read until here! To a even more wonderful queer year 2024! I'm so ready for this ride.
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