#U Should See Me In A Crown ( Dash Games ) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cassiopeiassky · 4 years

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Black Velvet

Alright everyone, it’s finally here. I’ve been sort of salty about the lack of tall!reader fics for awhile now or maybe it’s just the ubiquitous short, petite, drowning in his sweatshirt descriptions that get under my skin but just couldn’t get a decent amount of inspiration to write one. I have been known to throw in a mention of height randomly in my fics, but my usual workaround to avoid physical descriptions of the reader is to just write Bucky as like six and a half feet tall. Hes a damn super soldier, he should be taller anyway he did not start out as short as Steve. So one day I stumbled across this post by @invisibleanonymousmonsters and for some reason I can’t explain, an idea was finally unlocked in my brain later that same day. (Inspired by a song? Me? No. Never.)

It’s kind of all over the place, so buckle in. It does take a sharp right into smutsville but also ends up flipping a u and landing in flufftown. I don’t know. I just write what the muse tells me to write.

I would like to thank the incomparable @scottish-pepper for her amazing help and support while I wrote the thing - I couldn’t have done it without you, darlin.

Bucky x Tall!Reader

Modern day AU - think of a 40s prewar Bucky if he got a chance to grow up and lived in a small town

Plot: You have a terrible day of epic proportions but a beautiful stranger in a small town helps to make it better.

Warnings: Swearing (as per usual), smut, mentions of alcohol/drinking/bars, a brief mention of potentially disordered eating, mentions of a thunderstorm, and a very specific shitty family member.

Word count: 12K Yep. Knda got away from me

One last author’s note: This fic includes some ASL dialogue; it is expressed in italics without quotation marks. ASL is an incredibly beautiful and expressive language, and it’s in 3D!! It also has its own grammar structure, rules, nuances, and regional differences, just like any other language, and it can be a challenge to fit it into a two-dimensional space. Taking this into consideration, I’ve decided to write the dialogue with spoken English grammar because my ASL is really rusty and I don’t want to mess it up.

It’s hot. Like 100 degrees in the shade with 95% humidity hot. The trees are wilted, flowers are drooping, and there isn’t so much as a glimmer of hope for a cloud in the sky to interrupt the sun’s torture of earth’s inhabitants. The air is thick and still – there’s no movement at all – yet dangerously unsettled. It’s the kind of weather that if you sneeze, you might cause a tornado in the next county over. Of course your cousin would choose today of all days to get married. And of course her mom pressured her into going black tie, increasing everyone’s suffering tenfold.

“I can’t believe I rented a room for this. I can’t believe I spent $200 on a dress. Why am I even here? What did I expect?” There’s no answer, but of course there wouldn’t be. You’re alone in your car, driving back to a motel that you might not even stay the night in. You’d rented a room because you figured you’d have a few drinks at the reception – you wanted to celebrate the bride, she’s one of your best friends – but at this point you might as well just make the hour drive back home.

About a block from the motel you notice a bar tucked behind a gas station. According to the clock on the dash, it’s only 5:25.

Fuck it. You deserve a goddamn drink after today.

You pull into the parking lot and are surprised by the number of cars, farm trucks, and motorcycles already parked. There’s only one redneck limo, thank God – a pickup truck with a 10 inch lift kit and truck nuts hanging off the hitch, and in your experience driven only by incredibly insecure men – so that’s a good sign, right? It must be a decent place with decent drinks if it’s this busy so early in the evening. Maybe some of your day can be salvaged after all.

The hot, sticky air rushes in as soon as the car door is opened. “Gross,” you mutter; the heat hits even harder after the air conditioning in your car. Glancing over to the passenger seat, you see the hideous shoes your aunt Lydia pressed into your hands upon arriving at the wedding. “You know what, Lydia? Fuck you and fuck your ugly shoes.” You put your heels back on just to spite her.

It’s a small-town watering hole, so of course all eyes are drawn to you when you enter. And they stay on you as you find a seat at the bar – perhaps it’s because you’re a stranger, perhaps it’s because you’re overdressed.

But probably not.

The bartender approaches while drying his hands. He’s got dirty blonde hair in a sloppy undercut, a wide, flat nose, and is wearing a concert tee shirt with the arms cut off to show off his full sleeve of tattoos.

“Do you have blended drinks?” He nods. “Strawberry daiquiri, please.”

“Sure thing.”

You pull out some cash, tipping generously because your drink is a pain in the ass to make, then look around while you wait.

The bar is cool but not cold, not brightly lit but also not uncomfortably dim, is bigger than it looks, and is even busier than the amount of vehicles in the parking lot would lead you to believe. On one side there’s a jukebox next to a small stage with an empty but decently sized dance floor. There are a few high tops, then a gaming area featuring pool tables, dart boards, and a few pinball machines. On the other side of the bar you see a window with someone selling pull tabs, a station set up for calling bingo, a door to what’s probably the kitchen, and a popcorn machine filled with freshly popped popcorn. Behind you and scattered generously throughout the building are tables, some with 4 seats and some with 6, and over half of them are occupied.

“Here you go, miss.” The bartender places your drink in front of you with a polite smile. “Would you like a menu? The full kitchen is open tonight.”

The thought is nauseating. “Mmmm…maybe later.”

“Too hot to eat?” At your despondent nod, he grimaces and places a tall glass of ice water next to the daiquiri. “Thought as much. I’ll check back in a bit.” You didn’t notice his name tag until now – his name is Clint, and according to the hand illustrations under his name, he’s fluent in ASL.

Unsure if he’s Deaf and fluent in lipreading or if he’s hearing, you both sign and murmur, “Thank you,” before bringing the drink to your lips. It’s on the edge of being burned – just the way you like it. Sipping on the sweet slush is pure bliss, cooling you down from the inside out as it tempers the heat of the rum.

You sign? He doesn’t speak this time. It’s not an uncommon reaction.

Yes. I’m an interpreter.

His eyebrows rise in interest. What made you go into that?

My high school offered it, and I ended up becoming really good friends with the teacher’s daughter, who is Deaf. I made a lot of friends, got involved with the community and immersed in the culture, and I just loved it, so I figured, why not do this for a living? My dreams of being a Triple Crown winning jockey went out the window by the end of 5th grade so…

He laughs, but not unkindly. Yeah, I suppose you are a bit too tall for that. But 5th grade? Damn. His face lights up, Hey, have you heard of PATH, International? They’ve got a campus about half hour north of here. If you like horses, it might be right up your alley.

PATH International, or Professional Association of Therapeutic Horsemanship, is an organization very close to your heart. Yes! I volunteer there every Tuesday night.

The look of surprise on Clint’s face is priceless. No shit? I’m there on Thursday nights! You must be the other interpreter the kids are always talking about - they LOVE you! And so do the horses. You know, I was Ace’s favorite till you came along. Now he won’t even look at me unless I bribe him with a treat.

You look again at his name tag, and the name clicks. Wait, you’re Hawkeye! The one that does the archery demos on horseback for the kids’ birthday parties.

He takes a theatrical bow. The one and only.

Clint “Hawkeye” Barton is nothing short of a legend at PATH. Profoundly Deaf yet impossibly accurate with speechreading, he manages to blend both worlds perfectly. He’s also a master archer both off and on horseback, which basically makes him a superhero in the kids’ eyes. There are whispers that he travelled with a circus as a teenager, that he raises horses, and that he moonlights as a vigilante, but nothing has been verified and from what you’ve been told, he will neither confirm nor deny. It’s very likely that there’s at least some truth to the horse raising rumor – Ace is technically his horse, he just loans the chestnut gelding to the program. You’d been dying to meet Clint for a few years now but hadn’t been able to make it work.

It’s so good to finally meet you!

Likewise! I’ve been meaning to swing by on a Tuesday to see who it is that stole my favorite horse’s heart, but I’m usually here. His face lights up, Hey, I’ve got some ideas for a field trip for the older kids and adults but I need to team up with an ASL interpreter since I can’t technically work as a Deaf interpreter on my own off PATH’s campus. You know, rules and shit. You interested?

Absolutely! Just let me know. You dig a pen out of your purse and write your number and email address on a napkin. You know, I’m sorry, but I’m really not sorry about Ace. He stole my heart, what can I say.

He’s a shameless flirt, but I never thought he’d actually prefer someone else over me. But now that I’ve met you, I guess I can’t be too sore about it. He seems to have good taste. He takes the napkin with a grin and folds it up before putting it in his pocket, then looks to his left when a waitress waves for his attention and nods. Duty calls. Let me know if you need anything.

Well, that improved your day considerably.

For a few minutes, anyway.

“That’s an awfully girly drink for a woman like you.” A cloud of stale cigarette smoke with an obnoxious sounding man in the middle of it takes the seat next to yours.

You don’t turn to face him; you don’t even acknowledge him. If that’s his opening line, then you really, really don’t have the patience to interact with him today. This is the guy that owns the jacked-up truck. You can feel it in your bones.

Clint makes a face from behind the drink he’s making, notices your annoyance, and shakes his head. “Dude, she’s got more alcohol in her glass than you and your four buddies combined, so don’t knock her drink of choice. She’s also clearly not interested, and way, way out of your league. Go back to your pull tabs and leave the lady alone.”

You can feel the guy’s eyes on you, but Clint keeps glaring daggers at him and he eventually leaves. You can overhear him tell his buddies, “Thought she’d be an easy lay, but you know what? Even I have standards. How do you fuck someone that tall anyway? I’d need scaffolding!” They laugh, but you continue to hold your head up high. It’s nothing you haven’t heard some version of before. He’s not clever.

Ignore them. They’re lonely, small little men.

I know. Thank you. His protective gesture is touching and completely unexpected. This kind of thing doesn’t happen very often because most people assume you can handle yourself. You can – but it’s nice to not always have to be on the defensive, and today you’re at your limit.

No worries. You look like you had a rough day, I figured you didn’t need Chad making it worse. Clint winks and turns back to his drinks.

Well, he’s not wrong, but the day can only get better from here, right? Right. You nod to yourself then sit back and enjoy your drink. Clint stops by periodically to chat, but otherwise you’re left alone.

Eventually it’s time for a trip to the ladies’ room, and you do your best to ignore the stares and chuckles that inevitably follow you. In your semi-formal black dress you certainly stand out in a bar filled with cut off shorts and tee shirts, but that’s not why they’re staring.

In your black satin and lace, modestly platformed stiletto heels – affectionately known as your ‘fuck me shoes’ – you’re well over six feet tall. Are they uncomfortable? God yes, but they’re also beautiful and totally worth it.

The bathrooms are at the back of the bar, past the dart boards and pool tables. You’re almost there when you hear something ping off one of the pool table lamps and see it ricochet across the aisle and onto the top of the glass and wood cabinets housing the pool cues.

“How – how the hell did you manage that, Rogers?” A man with dark hair and a jawline that could cut glass heads in your direction. “You were supposed to throw the chalk to me, not your imaginary friend standing thirteen feet behind me.”

“Sorry, Buck,” a blonde joins him, looking appropriately apologetic. “My aim was a little off.”

“Ya think?”

You slow your pace to watch them. The guy with the dark hair is gorgeous – well, they both are, to be fair – but the one…damn. His maroon tee shirt is fitted enough to show off his beefy physique, and his jeans hug his thighs and ass like they were made for him. He throws off an air of cocky confidence with just a hint of danger, lending a genuine feel to his bad boy image. Should you…maybe? No. No, you absolutely should not. You’re not in the right mindset to try to soothe a man’s threatened masculinity just for a bit of company.

He and the blonde reach for the wayward chalk, but it’s just out of their reach. It’s amusing to watch them try to grab for it, but you take pity on them eventually.

Time for your good deed of the week.

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” Stepping between the two, you reach up and effortlessly pluck the blue cube from its spot before dropping it into the dark-haired man’s hand with a smile. “Here you go.”

Wide blue eyes look up into yours, but he doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even smile. He just stares. Figures.

The blonde looks between you and his companion before clearing his throat. “Thank you, ma’am.”

The unspoken rejection from the brunette stings. Normally it wouldn’t get to you, but after today? It does. It really does. So you swallow against the burning thickness in your throat and force back the tears with a fake smile. “You’re welcome.” A few more steps and you’re in the ladies’ room, which only serves to make matters worse when you step into an open stall. As you turn around to lock the door, you can see your entire head in the mirror, poking out above the top. A pair of women walk in and they giggle, so you quickly sit down. There’s no point in taking it personally – it actually happens quite a bit in older buildings and you can fully admit that the sight is pretty funny – so you compose yourself and do what you came in to do. You slouch when you stand in order to avoid accidentally looking into one of the neighboring stalls and go to the vanity to wash up.

Even the sink mocks you by making you bend almost in half to reach the water.

A woman with dark hair and bright red lips exits the far-right stall and joins you at the mirror. “Oh wow, your shoes and dress are so pretty!”

“Thank you.”

“Did you come from the wedding at the ballroom?”

“Mmm hmm.” You glance at her shorts and flowery sleeveless top and swallow your sigh – you feel like a fucking behemoth next to her. “I think maybe I should have stopped by my motel room to change.”

“No, you look really nice!” She smiles up at you, “It’s really not unusual to have people dressed up in here on the weekends, you’re just earlier than we usually see it. I’ll give you a tip, though, in case your feet start to hurt. I know the place looks kinda crusty, but the owners take a lot of pride in it. The floors are clean if you choose to go barefoot.”

Her unexpected kindness surprises you; you’re usually shunned by other women when you’re at a bar because all they see is your height, which they erroneously perceive to be an advantage in attracting men. “Thank you. That’s really good to know.” She turns to leave but you stop her when you notice something wrong with her shirt. “Hey, hon, you’re missing a button.” The poor girl is busty, and she’s likely been flashing an unintentionally generous amount of cleavage for who knows how long.

She looks down and immediately sees the gap in her shirt. “Well, shit. I just bought this shirt. No wonder some of the guys couldn’t look me in the eye. Stupid boobs, always trying to pop out. Why can’t they just make clothes that fit real people?”

“I feel ya,” you mutter as you start digging through your purse. “Hold on, I’ve got something…here, try some of this.”

“Scotch tape?” She looks confused as she takes it.

“Double sided tape.”

Her eyes get wide as she gazes up at you. “You’re a genius. And an angel. An angelic genius!” She takes some and fixes her shirt, smiling brightly. Thank you so much!!”

Despite your incredibly shittastic day, you find yourself warming to her. She’s nice. “You’re welcome! I didn’t want a bunch of creeps leering at you. In a world of Chads, we women really need to stick together.”

“Oh, God, you met Chad?” She grimaces and shakes her head, “I’d like to apologize on behalf of the entire town. He and his friends are not a good representation of the rest of us, I promise. They don’t even live here, they were just permanently banned from the bar in the next town over and now they’re our problem, apparently. But I promise, the rest of the people here are alright.” She sticks out her hand, “I’m Peggy, by the way.”

You shake her calloused hand and give her your name. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too. If you feel like some company, just come find me. My friends and I will probably be here for a while, and you’re more than welcome to join us.”

“Thank you, I might just do that.” You flash a smile, genuine this time, and go back to your seat at the bar. What the hell, maybe you’ll take her up on her offer after you finish your drink.

A minute passes, maybe two, before someone takes the barstool next to you.

It’s him. The gorgeous brunette.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” You want to roll your eyes at your reply. Smooth. Real smooth.

“My uh, my friends pointed out that I was rude earlier, so I wanted to apologize.”

You turn to him quizzically, giving him your full attention. Is this really the same guy that was playing pool? The sexy one that projected ‘bad ass’? “For what?”

His cheeks grow pink and it throws you off guard. “It’s not nice to stare. My ma taught me better than that – she’d slap me into next week if she saw how I acted. I ain’t usually like that, I’ve just never seen, uh…”

Here it comes. The ‘I’ve never seen such a tall woman’ comment that leaves you feeling like a roadside circus freak show.

“Well, you just got an amazing smile.”

Wait, what? “Huh?”

“I’ve never seen such a pretty smile.” He shrugs and studies the bar top. “Your eyes looked sad, though. I dunno. I guess I was tryin’ to figure you out.” He turns back to you with an almost obnoxiously handsome grin, “My name’s Bucky Barnes. Can I make it up to you? Buy you a drink?”

You narrow your eyes at him, trying to gauge his intent. He seems genuine enough – he’s either a brilliant actor or you seriously misjudged him, which, in your current cynical mindset, is entirely possible.

You look up to see Clint watching as he dries some glasses. Maybe he has some insight. Is this guy decent? He’s gorgeous but does he have a personality?

Clint snorts, glancing at Bucky then back to you. Yeah. He’s a pretty good guy. He’ll treat you right.

Bucky looks like he’s swallowing a smile when you turn back to him. “Yeah, I guess you can make it up to me.”

“Really?” He seems genuinely happy at the prospect.

“Sure.”

“Great!” Apparently that’s all the invitation he needs to turn on the charm. “So what’s a gorgeous girl like you doin’ in a dump like this?

“It’s not that bad,” you laugh.

“No,” he shakes his head sheepishly, “It’s not. Guess I’m really off my game today. I can usually flirt, I promise.”

A beer and another daiquiri appear on the counter. “Thanks, man,” Bucky nods to Clint. “Hey, you wanna grab a table?” He nods his head to the side of the bar by the jukebox. “It’s quieter there. We can chat and I can show you that I ain’t, in fact, the dumbass I’ve made myself out to be.”

“Yeah, okay.” Why not? Even if you don’t know Clint enough to trust him, the kids that you work with do, and you trust their judgement. So if Clint says that Bucky is decent, you’ll believe him.

***

It ends up being a good choice. Bucky turns out to be more than decent – he’s really nice, funny, respectful, keeps his eyes where they belong, and doesn’t ask if you play basketball.

He asks the basic questions and learns that you live about an hour north of here, that you’re an interpreter, you love to read, write, and draw, and yes, you were at a wedding. Tired of talking about yourself, you take advantage of him pausing to drink his beer and flip the topic.

“So what do you do?”

Bucky takes a deep breath and sighs. “I’m a mission systems engineer with NASA.”

You blink at him. “I’m sorry, you’re what?”

“A mission systems engineer with NASA. I know, I –“

“Do you have top secret clearance?”

He looks thoroughly confused. “That’s your first question?”

“Do you? Or would you have to kill me if you told me? Have you been to space? Does the government have a plan for if an asteroid comes our way, or would we have to do like the movie Armageddon and wing it with a bunch of oil rig operators?”

Bucky appears to be absolutely delighted at your string of questions. “Well, yes, no, unfortunately no, and I can’t tell you that because has to do with national security.”

“Fascinating.” You sit back, thoroughly intrigued by the man sitting across from you. “What the hell are you doing in a podunk town like this? Shouldn’t you be in Houston? Or D.C.?”

“I live here.” He chuckles at your unimpressed stare. “Yeah, I know it’s a small town – we got a bar, three churches, a motel, a gas station, and a diner that closes by 7 pm every day. Our biggest draw is the ballroom on the lake shore and the hunting grounds in the fall. It ain’t exactly the heart of modern technology. But I grew up here, my family and friends are here, and I stick around to help out on their farm. I fly into Headquarters a few times a year, but otherwise I work remotely.”

“So what do you do?”

“The general gist of it is that I lead a team that designs, develops, and deploys missions.”

“To space?”

“Well, I mean, I work for NASA…”

“What are you working on now?” You can’t help peppering him with questions – this is so fucking cool.

His eyes sparkle. “You got top secret clearance?”

“No.”

“Sorry. Can’t tell you anything,” he shrugs with a smirk.

“I…yeah, I guess I kind of walked right into that. Wow. So you’re really freaking smart.”

“I hope so!”

“Do you like it?”

“Being smart?”

“Your job, dipshit.”

He laughs, freely and openly, and it’s an amazing sound. “I love it.”

You can’t help but stare at him. “Wow. That’s…that’s just really, really fucking incredible.”

Bucky gets quiet. “It is really incredible. Thank you for thinking so.” He looks up, then back down as he starts peeling the label off his empty bottle of beer. “You know, you’re the first person I’ve told about my job that didn’t either tell me I don’t look smart enough to be a mission systems engineer or ask me how much money I make.” He meets your eyes again. “Or both. I get that a lot, too.”

You certainly know how shitty it feels to get those kinds of unsolicited comments based solely on appearance. It’s one thing to have an impression, but to just say those things out loud? “Well, they suck. And they’re truly shallow if they think intelligence has anything to do with how you look. But hey, at least they show their true colors right away so you can save yourself some time.” You lean forward, chin in hand, “Okay, so I know you can’t tell me about your actual projects, but can you tell me about your job? What are your responsibilities? What does a mission systems engineer do?”

Bucky lights up like New York City and spends the next 40 minutes going into detail about what he does, and you hang on every word; it’s impossible not to, really. His enthusiasm for what he does is so evident that even if the topic weren’t interesting, you’d still be entranced. And you thought he was gorgeous before? His animated passion makes him absolutely breathtaking.

You’ve both finished your drinks and, perhaps not so surprisingly, he switches to soda when you do. When unordered appetizers arrive with your new drinks, you both look over to Clint, who just winks and shrugs.

“Well I ain’t gonna complain. Didn’t realize how hungry I was.” Bucky shoves an entire ham and cheese ball into his mouth, but then has to hasashafahasa because it must have just come out of the fryer. “Ish hot! Rearry hot!”

Bursting into laugher, you slide your ice water to him before cautiously taking a bite of your buffalo wing. Considering how much fun you’ve had in the last hour, it isn’t all that surprising that your appetite has returned. “Me neither.”

The hours fly by as the conversation eventually turns to other topics, and you find yourself talking about things you wouldn’t expect considering you’ve just met. Bucky seems so open and honest that it’s difficult not to reciprocate, and if one doesn’t go into detail about what the other asks, it’s only because there’s so much to cover.

Bucky dips the last bit of pretzel into the beer cheese sauce and pops it into his mouth. “So if you don’t mind me asking, what made those pretty eyes of yours so sad?”

You take a long sip of your Coke Zero as you debate your next move. Deflect or come clean? You surprise yourself when you blurt out, “My aunt, Lydia.”

“Your aunt?”

You squirm a bit at the uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability, but you keep going. “Yeah. It was her daughter that got married today. Marie and I grew up together – Lydia is my mom’s only sister, so she was the one that took care of me when my mom had to work double shifts, which was a lot. She did the best she could, and she means well, she really does, but she’s just so caught up with appearances. My height is a, uh, a definite sore spot with her.”

“Really? Why? What does it matter?”

“I think it comes down to the appearance thing. Tall women are generally seen as less feminine, even straight up masculine. Lydia is tall, too – not quite as tall as me, but close. She claims that she got her husband through making herself appear daintier. She only wears flats and follows all the newest fad diets to make herself as small as she can because she feels that being a tall woman puts her at a distinct disadvantage.” You shrug, “She was one of the primary examples I grew up with. And to be fair, it’s not like she’s completely wrong. In my experience, guys tend to feel emasculated by me. And it’s not just men that seem to see me through a distorted lens. Even from a young age – I’m talking 4th grade – I’d hear teachers tell my mom that I seemed so much more mature than my peers, that I didn’t need as much support, emotional or academic, as everyone else. I got additional responsibilities and higher expectations. The thing is, I wasn’t more mature. I was just tall, so I looked more mature. Eventually it kind of came true, though. Other than my mom, who was single and working 2 jobs to keep me housed and fed, I didn’t really have anyone that would protect me or support me. I guess no one thought I needed it, so I just got used to doing it myself.”

Bucky shakes his head, and you can’t tell if his expression is one of pity, sadness, anger, or something else.

“But Lydia made everything a hundred times worse than it needed to be. I already knew I was outside the norm, I didn’t need the reminders. But every time I’d hit a growth spurt she would share some nasty comment on it, as if telling me that boys didn’t like tall girls would somehow stop my bones from stretching.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Mmm hmm. Despite my mom’s efforts – and the fact that being tall is actually pretty awesome – Lydia’s words really got under my skin, and even now they undermine my confidence sometimes.” You gesture to yourself and the bar, “Obviously. I should be at my cousin’s wedding right now. I don’t go to many family functions anymore, because of her. It just…it puts my head in a bad place. You know, they say it takes five to seven positive comments to balance out one negative comment? The negative is in everything she says. Everything. I love my family to pieces, but I just can’t handle her.”

“What did she say to you today?” If you didn’t know any better, you’d say that Bucky is getting pissed.

“She met me at the door of the chapel with a pair of her ugly black penny loafers. Said that she told the photographer that I wasn’t allowed in any family pictures unless I was wearing them, because she didn’t want my Amazonian ass towering over everyone else and ruining the aesthetic.”

“Your…your ‘Amazonian ass’?”

“Eh,” you shrug and wave your hand dismissively. “It’s not the first time I’ve been called an Amazon and far from the worst thing people have said. I mean, people say it to be cruel, but Amazons were fearless warriors. I just think of it as being put in the same class as Wonder Woman. The part that hurt was that she was prepared to make sure I wasn’t in the pictures, that she thought she could just erase my existence, simply because I’m too tall for her liking.”

Bucky’s mouth drops open. “I might be overstepping here, but what a heartless bitch. No one should ever try to erase you, what a fucking idiot.”

“She browbeat Marie into dyeing her hair blonde for the wedding. Marie hates it, but did it for her mom’s approval.” You release a deep sigh, “But that’s Lydia, and that’s why I took my Amazonian ass out of there the second the ceremony was over.”

“Hmmmm.” He gazes at you. “You know she’s a princess, right?

“Huh?”

“Wonder Woman. She’s a princess. You know…Amazon Princess…it actually kinda suits you.”

“Seriously?”

“Damn right I’m serious. You’re tall? So what. You’re fuckin’ royalty. Own it, Princess. Correct ‘em. Make ‘em say it. Amazon Princess.”

“What?”

“Yep. Say it with me. Amazon Princess.”

You can’t help rolling your eyes, but there’s something undeniably sweet about the way he’s pressing the issue. It’s not good enough for him that it doesn’t bother you – he wants it to be seen as a term of empowerment and to let people know that’s how you see it.

The moment is interrupted when a booming voice comes through the sound system. “Alright everybody, it’s ten o’clock!” Someone stands on the stage, holding a mike and looking more than a little tipsy. “You know what that means!”

The bar cheers, “Free jukebox!”

A line forms immediately, and the music starts.

“Wanna dance, Princess?”

“Really? You’re going to call me ‘Princess’ now?”

He shrugs with darkening eyes and a suggestive smirk. “If it’s okay with you.”

If he keeps looking at you the way he’s looking at you right now, he can call you whatever he damn well pleases. But he doesn’t need to know that. “Yeah,” you murmur. His gaze is so intense that you have to look around the bar to break it and gather your thoughts. You happen to see Peggy; she’s standing next to the blonde that had been playing pool with Bucky, so she must know him. She catches your eye, sees who you’re with, and gives a thumbs up with a huge grin. Well, alright then. You grin back and remember what she said. “Let’s dance.”

Bucky stands, stopping when he sees you toeing off your heels. “Woah, what’re you doing?”

“Taking off my shoes?”

He shakes his head, “Princess, you don’t need to do that. I ain’t too fragile to dance with a woman taller than me.”

“I know,” and you do, “But I can’t dance in these. And my feet hurt.”

When you stand, you’re almost eye to eye with Bucky; if he were barefoot as well, you would be.

People are still lined up at the jukebox, selecting their favorites. It’s exactly the mix you would expect from a place like this – classic songs like Brown Eyed Girl, Summer of ’69, and Footloose with more modern tunes sprinkled in – the kind of music that gets everyone up and dancing.

Bucky is a great dance partner, and you’re having an absolute blast. You don’t think about your aunt, the wedding that you’re supposed to be at, or how you are, without a doubt, the tallest woman in the bar. He laughs, showing off the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, obviously enjoying himself, too.

The jukebox switches songs again, and on comes the relentless, even rhythm of Black Velvet. For the first few measures, you just stare at each other. It’s the first song to play that isn’t upbeat, and you don’t know what to do until he makes the first move and pulls you close – close enough to breathe each other in. He stares as Alannah Myles’ smokey voice drifts over the steady bass, then spins you so your back is to him.

If Bucky’s a good dance partner for upbeat music, he’s even better when it’s slow like this, when every move counts. He’s enough to handle you, and more than confident enough to do so.

Bucky stays behind you, mirroring you with his hands resting gently at your waist. Your back is against his chest, but his hips keep their distance. Just to experiment, you press yours back and hear a guttural “fuck” before he intentionally shifts.

Bucky is absolutely nothing that you expected. “You’re a gentleman.”

You can feel the dark chuckle rumbles through him. “I wouldn’t say that, Princess.” He spins you around, pulling you close but not too close, and runs his thumb along your neck. “I just ain’t in the habit of taking what ain’t mine.”

His voice sends a shiver down your spine. Fuck. You like him. One night stands aren’t usually your thing…but that’s not what this feels like. He feels familiar. Safe. You like him, and he sure seems to like you. Your mind is already made up – you’ll take the chance and see what happens. You hardly recognize your own voice when you ask, “Do you want me to be?”

“Thought I was makin’ it obvious. Yes.” He doesn’t hesitate and his eyes don’t leave yours. “Are you offering?”

You move your hand to the back of his neck and lightly scratch, watching with satisfaction as his pupils dilate even more than they were. His lips part when you pull him closer, but he waits for you to close the kiss.

The second you do, his hands slide down to your lower hips before he tightens his grip. He’s not timid; he kisses you as though you’re a well-known lover, deeply and intensely, without bothering with introductions.

Bucky suddenly breaks the kiss, spinning you around again to pull your back against his chest. This time, though, he allows his hips to rock into yours with the rhythm of the music, slow and steady and insatiable. The way he moves makes it impossible not to think about fucking him; hell, you’re practically halfway there already. His hands alternate holding you tightly to his body, maximizing contact, and running up and down your sides. Your head falls back when his mouth finds your neck, and your legs go weak when his teeth nibble that spot beneath your ear.

You’ve never been so turned on in your life.

His voice is thick when his lips find your ear, “Wanna get out of here?”

You nod, taking his hand to lead him back to the table to collect your things. “I’ve got a room at the motel a block away.”

“Good.”

When you take one last look around, you see Clint, still behind the bar, grinning at you like an absolute idiot. Have fun!

“Oh my God,” you mutter under your breath, but you can’t completely hide the smile.

You step outside to find that the unbearable heat of the day has eased somewhat now that the sun has set. It’s still warm as the humid air kisses your skin, but with the breeze it’s sultry rather than oppressive.

You and Bucky look up at the same time – the stars are barely visible through the haze of clouds. There’s a thunderstorm rolling in on the western horizon.

Bucky walks you to your car, making sure you’re in safely before getting in his own truck and following you to the motel. He jumps out of his vehicle and pushes you against the car the second you’re out of it, kissing you like it’s been days and not 2 minutes since his lips were last on yours.

He doesn’t stop until the first few raindrops hit your skin. Bucky looks up while you grab your purse and your aunt’s shoes out of the car, gathering them clumsily before locking the door. It takes a minute for you to get your room key out of your purse, but you finally manage.

“Looks like the storm is already here. Gonna be a good one if it got here that fast.” He takes your hand, “Which room are you in?”

“Up the steps, furthest door on the left.”

Bucky leads you to the stairs as you both laugh while trying unsuccessfully to dodge the increasingly fat drops of rain. He doesn’t let go of your hand until you need to unlock the door, and the second you hear the click of the lock, his lips are on yours again. He pushes the door open and guides you through, closing the door behind him with a well-placed kick. You drop your purse and the loafers, then step out of your heels as he toes his shoes off. Still connected at the lips, he doesn’t see the things on the floor and trips over one of your stilettos.

“Oh shit!” His eyes are huge, staring up into yours when he realizes he isn’t going to hit the floor because you’ve caught him by the arm. “Good catch, Princess.” Both of you start laughing as he stands up straight, but the laughter dies out when his mouth find yours again. Hungry hands roam your body while you reach beneath his shirt so your fingers can explore the taut muscles you just know are hiding beneath it. Bucky grabs the collar behind his neck and pulls the shirt off altogether, and you are not disappointed. “You like what you see, huh?”

“Damn right I do.” You’re breathless, pressing your lips against the salty skin of his collarbone.

“You sure know how to use that mouth of yours, don’t ya?” He groans, then reaches down to grab the hem of your dress to lift it over your head before tossing it to the side. “Goddamn, darlin.” Bucky eyeballs you like a starving man at a feast before his mouth is back on yours, then moves his lips to the top of your breasts while he reaches around to unclasp your bra. It joins your discarded dress as he pulls you close, groaning at the feel of your naked breasts pressed against his chest. “I don’t know what the fuck I did to deserve you walkin’ into that bar tonight,” he bites your neck and you can’t stop the light whimper, “but I ain’t gonna complain. I’m gonna make you feel so good, Princess, I promise.”

You believe him. And you cannot wait.

The two of you somehow manage to take a couple of steps toward the bed. “I’ve wanted to do this since you smiled at me after givin’ me that chalk. Those eyes, that smile, that dress, those fuckin’ sexy shoes.” His hands find your hips, hooking your panties with his thumbs to push them down so you can step out of them. “When we started dancin’ all I could think about was what it would feel like havin’ your legs wrapped around me, I want you so damn bad.”

You unbutton his jeans and fumble with the zipper, then pull his jeans and boxer briefs down at the same time, freeing a fully hard cock that is nothing short of glorious. “Then either figure out how to multitask or stop talking and fuck me already.”

Bucky Barnes does not need to be told twice.

He kicks off his remaining garments before pushing you against the nearest vertical surface – which happens to be the middle of the window, where there’s a strip of metal supporting the two panes of glass. You aren’t sitting on the ledge, just leaning against it to keep your balance. It occurs to you that maybe you should close the curtains, but you’re too far gone to care enough to do anything about it.

“Don’t you worry, Princess. I can do both.” His arm is looped around your waist to hold you steady while your upper back presses against the cold strip of metal. You’ve got one arm hooked around his neck and the other steadying yourself on the edge of the windowsill. Bucky reaches down, takes hold of your thigh and lifts it to his hip. He lets go of your waist just long enough to guide his cock to your entrance – and he can slide right in because you’re so damn wet – and fuck, the way he stretches you is delicious.

“Christ, you’re so damn fuckable,” he moans in your ear, sending shivers throughout your entire body. “So fucking perfect…don’t need a bed or a chair, I can fuck you anywhere I want. I could just bend you over, wouldn’t even need a wall.” Between his thrusts, which are as maddeningly steady and slow as his dancing, the cool metal of the windowpane at your upper back, the flickers of lightening, and the crashes of thunder, it’s almost sensory overload. He’s holding you so tightly that you can’t move your hips much, so you’re completely at his mercy. And he knows it.

Each move he makes is a sin; the angle you’re at all but guarantees he’s stroking your clit with every move. Delirious with the sensations flooding your brain, you can only babble nonsense.

“What’s that, Princess? Use your words, darlin,” Bucky

“So…so good…I, huh…”

He chuckles darkly, “What was that?”

He’s not playing fair but you really don’t mind – his confidence with you is a rarity and is such a fucking turn on. “More.”

“More? You want me to fuck you harder? Is that right?” He waits for your nod before flashing a wicked grin lit by lightning, then adjusts his grip on your thigh. “Anything you want, Princess, you get.”

His thrusts come harder and faster, multiplying your pleasure tenfold. Then he shifts his hand on your thigh, changing the support from holding it up to pushing it back, opening you further and allowing him to go even deeper.

Oh, oh fuck…

Your entire body clenches with your orgasm, so tightly you can’t even breathe, and your mouth opens in a silent scream.

Bucky follows you just seconds later with a growl of your name against your neck and a few last ragged movements.

He releases your thigh as he gently pulls out, but he doesn’t take his arm from around your waist. You lift yourself onto the windowsill, pulling him between your legs as you hold each other close and catch your breath while the storm rages outside. He keeps his face buried in your neck as you run your fingers up and down his back, calming you both. The thunder rumbles violently while lightning dances in the sky, but it doesn’t worry you. You’ve always found comfort in the chaos of a storm.

Eventually your legs start to fall asleep, so you begin to move. Bucky notices and hikes both of your thighs up to his hips before guiding your arms up around his neck. “Hold on, Princess.” He reaches down and lifts you, carrying you the 5 feet to the bed. After laying you down, he begins kissing you again, then starts exploring your body. “I love being cradled in your thighs like this, but there’s something else I wanna try,” he whispers as he starts crawling down. “Now I can take my time with you.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where he’s going. “Really? Um, maybe I should shower first?” You’re sweaty from the heat of the day and just had some really incredible sex, so there’s no doubt in your mind that things are less than fresh down there.

“If you want to.” He keeps on his slow descent, kissing everything in his path, “But I’m happy with you just like this. I want you, right now, as you are.”

“But don’t you –“

“No. I don’t.” There’s a challenge in his eyes when he looks up from his destination. “I don’t care.” And then Bucky dives in, devouring your pussy like he’d devoured your mouth. He’s got you writhing in moments, all worries gone. But he’s a goddamn tease now that the initial urgency has been satisfied, bringing you to the edge and then backing off again and again in a beautiful torture.

You can’t do dirty talk to save your life, but you’re about to start begging when he finally looks up, chin glistening before he wipes it away with the back of his hand. “Fucking delicious.” Between the sight of him, his voice, and the sensations you’re feeling, your brain just about short circuits. Then his fingers start to circle your entrance, teasing you, making you want more before he slowly pushes two in and curls them to press against that spot, and fuck it can’t feel any better, but then somehow it does. You pull a pillow over your face but he shifts, reaching up to yank it back off and throw it across the room. “No way, Princess, I wanna hear what I do to you,” he rasps, watching you with hungry eyes and a feral grin. You’re almost there…almost…and then he puts his mouth back on your clit and your universe implodes.

One orgasm blends into another and you allow him to push your limits until you can’t handle it anymore. “Stop,” you gasp, and he does immediately. “I’m – it’s too much. I…wow.” You’re so oversensitive at this point that if he breathes too hard, you might jump out of your skin.

Bucky crawls his way back up to you, dropping kisses on your hot skin as he goes. “You’re incredible, you know that? I love how your body responds to me, I fucking love it.”

He kisses you again, and despite your sensitivity, your hunger for him grows. Sitting up, you pull him with you then push him down to the mattress. “Fuck yes,” he whispers hoarsely when you straddle him and slide down, pausing to glide your pussy along his hardened cock, but then you slide down a little farther before spreading his legs so you can kneel between them.

It’s impossible not to groan aloud when your hands find his thighs; thick, tight, and incredibly well formed, they look like they were sculpted by a generous god. “I might have to ride one of these later.”

“Please –“ Bucky swallows hard and licks his lips as he watches you in the dim, sporadically flickering light, “Please do.”

One hand moves to palm his balls while you part your lips to take him in as far as you can, reveling in his heaviness on your tongue while using your hand to stroke the base of his cock. You give it a bit, waiting until he’s writhing beneath you before you pull off and redirect your attention. His eyes grow wide when your fingers start moving down beneath his balls to his taint, pressing gently to find the very root of his cock which will then lead you to the spot you’re looking for. Pressing firmly when you find it, you begin rubbing tight circles.

“What are you – oh. Oh. Oh, fuck, Princess, oh fuck!”

It’s ridiculously satisfying to see him reduced to the same whimpering, quivering puddle you were not so long ago. You make him come once, twice, three times without ejaculating, just because you can.

Bucky’s got his forearm resting over his eyes as he shakes his head, and you take advantage of his distraction to shift your body into position. “Holy shit.” He’s breathless, shaking, “I did not know I had a spot that could do that. Fuck. I – oh Christ…“

You slide onto his cock, smiling when his hands automatically reach to grip your hips – the biology and technique can be explained later. Leaning over, you kiss him deeply then stretch your arms above him to grip the headboard. Rocking your hips slowly, so slowly, you watch him watch you.

Bucky’s lips form words but nothing comes out except for sighs and soft moans as you become more and more intoxicated by his need for you. His hands wander up and down, touching your breasts, hips, ass, and everything in between until he pulls you down for another kiss. “Do you have any idea how fucking perfect you are? You feel so good. So fucking good. Wanna make you feel good. As good as you make me feel.” Bucky kisses you again, sloppily, then wraps an arm tightly around you before flipping you both.

Now that you’re on the bottom and he’s back in control, he picks up the pace considerably.

You certainly aren’t about to complain.

His hands are grasping yours, holding them over your head, and your legs are locked around his hips as his thrusts eventually begin to lose their impeccable rhythm.

Now neither of you are in control.

The pleasure has been steadily building, an inevitable tidal wave on the horizon. Maybe it’s his confidence, maybe he’s naturally gifted, maybe it’s that his body seems to fit with yours just right. Whatever it is, this is by far the best sex you’ve ever had, and despite already having multiple orgasms, your appetite for him seems to be insatiable because you’re greedy for the next one.

“Fuck, Princess, it feels so good having those legs wrapped around me,” he pants, “Goddamn, I can – I can feel you’re right there. I ain’t gonna last much longer, come for me, darlin, give it to me now. Oh Christ yes, that’s right, just – just like that.”

Your body obeys, giving him exactly what he wants. The velvet sound of his voice, his incessant dirty talk, the way he smells and tastes – everything about him adds to your pleasure induced stupor. The orgasm is so powerful that everything but Bucky goes black, and the only thing keeping you tethered to this world is the way he chants your name as he comes.

His body continues to cover yours as you wait for your racing pulse to slow. He presses kisses to your neck, cheeks, lips, and eyelids, and finally your forehead before he gently lifts himself off to lay next to you. “C’mere,” he pulls you to him, and when you rest your head on his chest you can hear how fast his heart is still beating.

Thoroughly sated and soothed by the feel of his fingertips on your skin, it’s tempting to give in and fall asleep. But not yet. Not if you want to sleep through the night.

Reluctantly, you rise. Maybe, if you’re really fast, maybe he’ll still be here when you get back. It’s probably not the sane thing to do, but you really, really want him to stay the night.

“Where you going?” Is that trepidation you hear in his voice?

You smile as you take in the sight of him lying in the bed, disheveled and clearly satisfied. “I need to shower. And wash my face – I need to get my makeup off. My eyes are getting itchy.”

“Can I join you?” He laughs at your raised eyebrow, “No, Princess, not like that. I’m gonna need some time to recover.”

“That’s good to know,” you smirk, “I was starting to wonder if you were a god wearing a mortal’s skin.”

Bucky blushes. It’s adorable. “Nah, no god here. Just a man that’s never wanted a woman so bad before. Still do,” he shrugs, “Just too worn out at the moment to do anything about it. You’re somethin’ special, I hope you know that.”

It’s your turn to feel the heat rise in your cheeks, but you hold out your hand to help him up.

The shower is tender and sweet, full of soft kisses and softer touches. This man just keeps surprising you.

He’s toweling off his hair when his eyes meet yours in the vanity mirror. “Is it okay if I stay?”

A slow smile spreads across your face – you couldn’t stop it if you tried. “I’d like that.” You slip into fresh panties and a tank top, turning to face him fully to admit, “I’d like that a lot.” Bucky beams at you before pressing a soft kiss to your lips and heads to the bed. You finish up a few minutes later and crawl in, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. There’s nothing to hide behind – no makeup, no cocktail dress, no drink. It’s just you, and this is a state that very few people see you in; no one you’ve ever dated has seen you this vulnerable until months have gone by. Some didn’t see you this way at all. “Don’t look too close. I’m very unglamorous and monochrome without makeup.”

Bucky’s blue eyes stare in yours. “We’ll have to agree to disagree.” His fingers trace your freshly moisturized skin. “I think you’re beautiful.”

Outside, the thunderstorm has exhausted itself. He pulls you close and breathes you in, and you both fall asleep to the sound of gentle rain.

***

When the sun peeks through the gap in the curtains at 6 am, you’re not even mad that you’re awake. The sight of Bucky lying peacefully next to you is something you’re thoroughly enjoying.

“You’re staring.” His voice, deep and gravelly, rumbles lightly into the silence as he opens his eyes. “It’s because I’m decent and gorgeous with a personality, right?”

“What?”

Bucky smirks as he stretches and sits up. “I should probably come clean. The bartender from last night? My parents took him and his sister in after their parents were killed in an accident. Clint and Carrie were lucky to survive – he lost his hearing and six months of memories and she was in the ICU for 3 weeks. He and I have practically been brothers since grade school.”

It takes a minute, but you finally put the pieces together. Oh. Well, shit.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop; I was just really surprised to see you sign so I didn’t look away fast enough. I’m sorry.”

You sit up and slap him lightly on the shoulder. “So, you knew what I asked him?

His smile broadens as he gives you puppy dog eyes. Yes. Please don’t be mad.

You try not to smile back as you think about it but lose the battle and shrug. “I’m not mad. Maybe a little embarrassed, but we’ve known each other for what, 12 hours? It’s not like you can tell me everything about you in that short amount of time.” You give him some serious side eye, “Although you could have mentioned that when I told you what I do for a living.”

He studies your eyes like he’s trying to see into your soul. “I told you a lot, though.”

“You did. We both did.” It surprises you, more than a little, that you aren’t horrified at how open and honest you’ve been with him.

Bucky reaches his hand up to cup your cheek and he pulls you in for a kiss. “Good morning, beautiful.” It seems like he doesn’t want to part, because he rests his forehead against yours.

Somehow your hand finds his neck, and you gently rub your thumb along his jawline. “Good morning, Bucky.”

His stomach grumbles. Loudly. “Wanna grab some breakfast, Princess?”

It makes you a stupid amount of happy that he’s not ready to leave you just yet. “Yeah. I just need a little bit to get ready.”

A half hour later, Bucky opens the passenger side door of his pickup. “Your chariot, Princess.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, taking his offered hand and climbing in. It’s an older truck, one with a bench seat, and it smells of hay, Bucky’s cologne, and sweat. It’s not what you’d expected, but it suits him.

In this tiny little town nothing is open at this hour on a Sunday morning, so Bucky pulls his pickup onto the interstate to head to a fast food restaurant a few miles away. You take the time to look around – the area is really pretty and reminds you of the drive to your grandparents’ house, all farmland and pastures. Of course, you can’t help but stare at the horses whenever you pass them. “Whoa. They must breed Appaloosas.”

Bucky takes a quick glance out your window. “Yeah, that’s the Carter farm. They raise Appaloosas and alpacas.” He’s quiet for a moment. “You like horses? Not everyone can randomly pick out that breed.”

“I love horses,” you murmur, smiling broadly when you spot a few foals among the herd. You’re too busy looking at them to notice how he looks at you.

***

Breakfast is simple, just something picked up at a drive thru window, but that’s perfectly fine with you. Bucky doesn’t pull back onto the interstate though, he instead starts driving the winding country roads. You don’t mind in the least; you simply sip your coffee, content to be exactly where you are. Considering the hour, you aren’t even grumpy. Stealing glance at the reason why, you hide your smile and take another sip.

Bucky’s fingers drum almost nervously against the wheel, then he seems to make a decision as he brakes sharply. “Sorry, Princess,” he smiles sheepishly, “You up for a picnic? I know a spot.”

His smile is infectious. “Yeah.”

He takes the left he stopped so quickly for, and then another left onto a dirt road, and a mile later he turns onto what looks like a seldom used service trail leading up to a fenced in pasture. “Just a sec,” he pulls the truck to a stop, then gets out to open a gate. Bucky quickly climbs back in, drives the truck through about 20 feet before turning in a tight circle to face the road, and closes the gate behind him before stepping up to your door. “I got some blankets, do you want to sit in the truck bed with me?”

“Of course.”

He gets the blankets and spreads them out while you grab the food and coffees, handing them to him before you climb in after him.

“I would’ve helped you in, Princess.”

“Bucky. I’m not five feet tall. I can get into the back of a truck.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m fully aware of that. But unlike the other shmucks you seem to have come across in your life, I ain’t gonna make you do something by yourself just because you can. You deserve consideration and chivalry, too.”

What do you even say to that? He’s the exact opposite of pretty much everything you’ve ever known. It’s nice.

He sits down against a box that is attached to the back of the cab. “C’mere. You look cold.”

It was hot when you’d packed your overnight bag so you’ve only got a tee shirt and shorts on, and luckily a hoodie that just happened to be in the backseat of your car. “I am, a little,” you admit as you curl into his side, allowing him to cover your legs with another blanket that he’s pulled out.

He eats one handed, keeping an arm around you to keep you close and warm.

Everything smells clean and fresh now that the storm went through, and the morning air is chilly but fresh with the light breeze. The radio plays softly, drifting through the open windows as you and Bucky eat and watch the fluffy white clouds drift by. It’s the best picnic you’ve ever had, hands down.

“So where are we? It’s beautiful here.”

“My parents’ farm.”

You turn to stare at him. “This is where you grew up?”

“Yep.”

“Lucky.”

“I am. Hey, I wanna introduce you to someone.” He stands suddenly, not waiting for a reply. You’re in the middle of a pasture, who the hell is there for you to meet? Bucky brings his fingers to his lips and lets out the sort of piercing whistle that you’ve never managed to master.

And then…and then…

“Are you fucking serious.” Eyes wide, you bring yourself to a kneeling position as a steel grey Percheron comes galloping full speed towards the truck. “Bucky!”

He turns toward you, face almost split in two by his grin. The horse slows down, circling the truck and whickering before coming to a full stop right at the tailgate.

“I’d like you to meet Sergeant.”

“Oh my God, Bucky, he’s stunning,” you breathe, unable to help yourself as you slowly move forward to sit at the edge of the open tailgate. Intelligent eyes take you in before a velvet muzzle finds your hand. “Sorry buddy, I don’t have any treats for you. But I do have ear scratches,” you murmur, firmly stroking the planes of his face before scratching behind his ears. You giggle when he sighs, and again when he mouths gently at your hair.

Bucky beams with pride as he pulls an apple out of the box you’d been leaning against, feeding it to Sergeant before sitting on the tailgate next to you. “I’ve had him for 20 years. I got him when he was just a colt. Trained him myself. He’s one of the reasons why I choose to work remotely – I just can’t imagine not getting to see him.”

“I don’t blame you at all, I don’t think I could’ve left this sweetheart either.” Sergeant blows gently in your face, then nuzzles you hard enough to push you backwards. “Oh my goodness, you are just a big baby, aren’t you, Sarge? Oh, you like that? That spot right there?” You laugh lightly as the giant horse stretches his neck toward you, seeming to thoroughly enjoy how you scratch just beneath where his mane grows.

“He likes you.” Sergeant looks over when Bucky speaks, but then turns back to you.

“Well, I like him.” Feeling eyes on you, you turn to Bucky. “What, are you jealous?” you tease.

“Yes.” Bucky cradles your face in both his hands and begins kissing you. Before you know it, you’re lying in the truck bed with him, making out like a couple of teenagers out past curfew. Time slows even as it moves, and you’d swear the minutes stretched into a blissful forever as you lay in his embrace. But the real world likes to force its way in, and the distant sound of a car’s horn brings you both back to your senses.

Sergeant is about 50 feet away, grazing peacefully as Bucky pulls out his phone to check the time. “We, uh, we should get going. I don’t know how much longer I can keep my hands to myself, and my folks will be drivin’ by on their way to church in about 15 minutes.”

“Don’t feel like scarring them forever with the view of your naked ass?” You sit up and start pulling up the blankets to fold them.

“Honestly?” He shakes his head, “They’d probably cheer and then invite you over for dinner.”

Pausing your movements, you let that one sink in. “…Oh. Well that would be just as awkward as the alternative.”

He shrugs. “They’ve been dropping some not so subtle hints that they think I should settle down. They’d be thrilled just to know I spent the night with you.”

You tilt your head a bit as you watch him. “Don’t you date?”

“Nah, not really.”

“Really? Why not?”

He shrugs again as you hand him the blankets, then he turns his back to you as he puts them in the box. “I dunno. I guess I just hadn’t found anyone I wanted to actually spend time with.”

“Huh.”

“What?” There’s a challenge in his eyes when he turns back around. “That so weird?”

“No, I get it. You definitely shouldn’t settle. I guess…” he’s staring at you now, waiting for you to finish, “I guess I’m just a little surprised that someone hasn’t snatched you up yet. Where I come from, you’re quite a catch.”

“You think so? How’s that?”

Is he baiting you? Teasing you? Genuinely curious? It’s impossible to tell. “I know so. You’re smart, kind, funny, and a stupid amount of gorgeous,” you pause to level a look at him, “but I suppose you already knew I thought the last part.”

Bucky barks out a laugh but at least has the good grace to look sheepish.

“You have an absolutely beautiful horse, which wins points with pretty much every person I know. Your parents took in a couple of kids when they needed a family, and you learned a new language so you could keep communicating with your friend. You have every opportunity to move to another city, but you stay here to be close to those you care about. And,” it’s dumb, really, how you’re suddenly too shy to meet his eyes, “You’re really good in bed. Like, really really good. You’re the whole damn package.” When you finally look up, he’s staring at you again. “There’s a perfectly real possibility that you’re a total asshole and that you’ve been acting this whole time – I’ve only known you for a day – but I haven’t seen any cracks. I get the definite impression that I met the real Bucky, and he is one hell of a catch.”

“Huh.” He hops down and turns, holding out his hand to help you down. Do you need to take it? No, but you love that he offers anyway. He doesn’t let go after he helps you out, instead choosing to hold your hand as he walks you to the passenger side. Bucky only lets go because he has to, and once the gate is secured behind the truck, he takes your hand and holds it for the entire drive back to the motel.

***

Ever the gentleman, Bucky walks you back to your motel door.

“Do you have to go?” The words are out before you can think too long on them.

He’s shaking his head before your entire sentence is out, “No. Not if you don’t want me to.”

You don’t even care if you sound needy or clingy. “Please stay.”

Just like you learned last night, Bucky Barnes does not need to be told twice.

At least the drapes are closed this time.

***

A sharp rap at the door and an equally sharp call of your name interrupts your post-lovemaking bliss. It’s your aunt.

“I don’t wanna,” you whine.

Bucky bristles, sensing your distress. “That her?”

You nod before pulling a pillow over your head. “I’m just going to pretend I’m still asleep. Maybe she’ll go away.”

“Don’t worry Princess, I got you.”

You feel the bed shift and move the pillow. “Bucky!”

He turns back to you, eyebrows raised, as another insistent knock echoes through the room.

“You’re naked!” It comes out as a stage whisper, making you both snicker.

He flashes a shit eating grin. “So?”

Is he really gonna…

With a dramatic huff, he stops to find his boxer briefs and quickly tugs them on. Kind of. They’re sitting awfully low.

First there’s the sound of the door swinging open, then Bucky’s voice, bored and borderline intimidating. “Yeah?”

The following silence is deafening and you almost wish the room was set up so you could see your aunt’s face, but all you can see is the back half of Bucky’s sensational body leaning in the doorframe.

“Uh, hi? I’m looking for my niece? I thought this was her room?”

“You mean the tall, gorgeous drink of water? About my height? Killer smile? Was wearing, uh, let’s see, what was she wearing? It’s been awhile and she ain’t wearin’ much of anything now.”

The blood rushes to your face, but you can’t even imagine how embarrassed Lydia is right now. The thought is nothing short of glorious.

“Uh,” he snaps his fingers a few times, feigning concentration, “Oh! A black dress with the sexiest heels imaginable? Sound about right?”

“Well, yes, but –“

“Yeah, she’s here.” His tone is still bored, but you think you can pick up on an edge of amusement. Your aunt must be squirming by now, and it’s all you can do to not start cackling.

“I thought…well…the gift opening is in an hour. I thought she was going to meet us for breakfast before –“

“She won’t be goin’ to the gift opening. Or breakfast, but don’t you worry, ma’am. I made sure she ate something.”

The not so subtle innuendo almost makes you choke on your own spit.

“You can’t – are you holding my niece hostage or something?”

He laughs darkly but yells out, “Princess, am I holding you hostage?”

Your own laugher, unable to be contained any longer, bursts out. “Nope!” you call out, absolutely feeling as gleeful as you sound.

Lydia is practically apoplectic by now. “But what about the gift opening?”

“She doesn’t. Want. To go,” he growls, stooping down. “And here, she doesn’t want your fucking ugly shoes, either. Stop projecting your insecurities onto her – she’s perfect the way she is.” Bucky closes the door – perhaps a little harder than strictly necessary – and you hear the sound of the lock sliding into place before he saunters back to the bed.

“Thank you for doing that, Buck. I – holy shit, I cannot believe you answered the door like that.” Your eyes are glued to how low his boxers are sitting – he’s showing more than just his happy trail.

“What? Everything’s technically covered.”

“Bucky.”

“Yes, Princess?”

“I – I’m not even sure how you managed it, but you basically turned your boxers into the dick version of a pasty.”

He grins, “Like I said. Everything’s technically covered.” Bucky moves closer, crawling into the bed until he hovers above you. “But not for long,” he murmurs, pressing kisses to your neck. “Now, the way I figure it, we got another two hours till checkout.”

“Mmmmm…” you’d rather not think of the time. It’s necessary if you don’t want someone from housekeeping to accidentally walk in, but you don’t want this to end.

He kisses you deeply before pulling back, looking just a little hesitant. “And then, if you want, we could continue this back at my place? If you’re not in a hurry to get home?”

He’s kept his lips to himself for a few seconds, so your head manages to clear enough to process what he just said. “What? Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, I get it if you have to get back. But,” he shrugs awkwardly, his current vulnerability at stark odds with his usual confidence, “I like you. I’d like to spend the day with you if you’re free.” He kisses your neck again and nibbles your ear. “We can do more of this. I like this, too. A lot.” He pulls back to look you in the eye. “But we could also do some talkin’. Maybe you’d let me take you out to a nice dinner before you head home?”

A smile, broad and genuine, stretches across your face. “I’d like that. I’d really like that.” Even if you never see Bucky again after today, you’re hungry for whatever time you can get with him. He’s addictive and you’ve never in your life felt more satisfied and safe than you do right now.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His borderline cocky confidence returns as his hands resume roaming the landscape of your body. “Good,” he mouths against your throat, and resumes his worship of you. “It’s gonna be a good day, Princess. A good fuckin’ day.”

Tags: @hellomissmabel @howdoesoneadult @nykitass @danimuhle @iwillbeinmynest @shifutheshihtzu @passiononfire @learisa @widowvinter @kaaatniss @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @denialanderror @k-nighttt @givemethatgold @manders2487 @afangirlrambles @polkadottedpillowcase @bluebrrn @saysay125 @aikibriarrose @saharzek @mmauricee @imhereforbvcky @whenallsaidanddone @supernatural508 @scarlettsoldier @natalie-nightcourt @im-beautifully-sewn @lovemarvelousfics @feistytravel @tbetz0341 @nearly-whitches @jamie-leah @shliic @dessinemoiunehistoire @lucywinchester2000 @solarbarnes @a-proper-chicken @movingonto-betterthings @seekingkairos @jamesbarnesappreciationclub @part-time-patronus @natashasnight @fairislesheets @new-romanticz1989

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x tall!reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #my work #black velvet #5.6.20

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always-hp-fanfic · 3 years

Text

You’re Not Alone

A Harry Potter Fanfic

||Inspired By ‘A Hufflepuff’||

If you’d like a HP(HM) fanfic written, just ask me! To submit a fanfic idea, all you have to do it is click HERE.

This is the manuscript for this story, if you would like to see the Youtube version, click HERE.

The cold evening air was filled with loud cheers from the spectator stands, and there were flashes of red, gold, blue, and bronze, as the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw players zoomed by. The score was neck to neck, whichever house caught the Golden Snitch was going to be crowned for victory.

Alex Selwyn, a dark-skinned second year Hufflepuff was amongst the array of spectators cheering as loud as she could. She was cheering for Ravenclaw today because her friend recently got the position of Seeker.

A fellow Hufflepuff boy was sitting next to Alex also cheered for the Ravenclaw team because the Seeker was his twin: Jackie Griffin.

Even though the Griffin Twins were in separate houses, they still cheered for each other’s houses when they weren’t playing each other. Usually, there wasn’t any inter-house competition, but sometimes things got a little heated that Alex had to calm things down between them.

Ever since Alex arrived at Hogwarts, she was torn between whether she should be loyal towards Hufflepuff or Slytherin. The Sorting Hat placed her in Hufflepuff, a house that her Slytherin family saw as a disgrace. Even though she was a Hufflepuff through and through, she had always felt she should be loyal and dedicated towards her family's house.

“AND IT LOOKS LIKE RAVENCLAW SEEKER GRIFFIN HAS SPOTTED THE SNITCH!” roared the Quidditch commentator, through their megaphone.

Alex and the Hufflepuff boy frantically scanned the pitch wildly, to see a small, blue-robed Seeker vertically dive towards the ground, their long black hair trailing behind them. Their faces slowly turned to sheer horror when a Bludger pelted towards Jackie, knocking her off her broom.

“GRYFFINDOR BEATER RUBY JONES KNOCKS RAVENCLAW SEEKER OFF HER BROOM!” announced the commenter.

There were loud boos from the Ravenclaw spectators and Alex dashed through the stands to reach the Quidditch Pitch before the Healers came. Jackie opened her hand when she saw Alex running towards her, closely followed by her twin, Jackson Griffin. Gripped tightly between her long slender fingers, was the Golden Snitch. It flapped its golden wings, desperately trying to wriggle free.

“We won,” whispered Jackie, to Alex and Jackson.

“RAVENCLAW WINS! 270 TO 120!” Announced the commentator, jumping up and down in their seat.

Alex saw that Jackie winced in pain when she helped her to her feet. She looked thoughtfully into the air and chewed the bottom of her lip. This was something she did every time she was making a difficult decision.

“Episky,” murmured Alex, and pointed her wand tip to the Seeker’s wrist. The wand tip let off a soft golden glow before it slowly faded, leaving Jackie’s wrist feeling better.

“WHY ON EARTH DID YOU DO THAT!” someone shouted from behind them.

Alex and Jackie whipped around towards the sound of the voice, to find Jackson yelling insults at the Gryffindor Beater.

“Why did I do that?!” yelled the Beater, looking equally as mad as the Hufflepuff. “It’s a game and what were you expecting me to do? Let Griffin catch the Snitch?!”

Still shouting insults at the Gryffindor second year, it took a fair amount of strength, for Alex and Jackie to wrestle Jackson into the castle.

The castle was bustling with students, all hurriedly walking down staircases and corridors, all heading towards the Great Hall. Tonight, was the End of Term Feast, the Headmaster was going to announce the winner of the House Cup.

“I don’t get it,” muttered Alex Selwyn, as she and her friends wandered down the Transfiguration corridor towards the Great Hall. “Last year she was quite nice when I met her on the train.”

“Hey, come on cheer up,” said Jackie Griffin, when she saw her twin furiously muttering under his breath and shaking his head angrily. “We’re attending the end-of-term feast tonight.”

The Herbology Professor: a thin and wiry wizard, hurriedly dashed through the students and made their way towards Alex and her friends.

“You haven’t broken any rules lately, have you?” asked Jackson eyeing Alex apprehensively, as the Herbology Professor approached them.

“Not that I know of,” replied Alex, looking equally as nervous as her fellow Hufflepuff friend.

However, when the Herbology Professor reached them, they were relieved to see that the Professor was beaming at them with pride. He congratulated the Ravenclaw for the spectacular win and praised Alex for her quick thinking and actions back at the Quidditch Pitch when she healed Jackie’s wrist.

“Ten points to Hufflepuff. Now you guys better get to the feast,” he said and shuffled off into the sea of students.

As they made their way, someone bumped into them as they hurried down the corridor. Alex looked up and was startled to see it was Ruby Jones, tears streaked down her face. Alex who was bewildered ran to catch up to her and the twins trailed behind.

“Hey, if you need to talk, I’ll be there,” said Alex kindly.

Ruby Jones jumped at the voice and turned around to see all three of them. “Y-you wouldn’t u-understand.”

“Whatever is troubling you, whatever burden you are carrying around with you. We can carry it together,” said Alex softly, her dark blue eyes met Ruby’s dark amber ones.

Ruby Jones swallowed hard before she spoke.

“It’s because my s-siblings are all s-successful. A-and what if t-they expect m-me to be just as great! Y-you are so p-perfect. Always g-getting h-house points. And I’m j-just-” she broke off, hot tears stinging her eyes.

This brought Alex back to her past. She remembered the burning look of disgust that her family gave her when she had told them that she’d been sorted into Hufflepuff. She remembered how hard and how much it hurt when she tried to live up to her family’s name.

“I understand how hard it is for you to live up to everybody’s expectations. When I got sorted into Hufflepuff, my Slytherin family thought I was a disgrace to their name. I tried to live up to their expectations. But most importantly, my friends taught me to be proud to be a Hufflepuff,” finished Alex.

After hearing this story, Jackie’s hazel and blue eyes were glistening with tears, and Jackson was looking guilty at what he had said back at the pitch.

“I’m sorry, what I had said to you back there,” he apologized, his deep blue eyes shone with sincerity.

“No, I should be sorry, I was the one who hit that Bludger at Jackie. I’m so sorry,” she said quietly, and she hung her head in shame. “I d-don’t deserve to be a G-Gryffindor.”

Alex looked at Ruby Jones with empathy. She understood why Ruby had always been unusually cold and bitter towards them. She also understood what it was like to try to please and live up to a family name.

“Ruby Jones, you belong in Gryffindor. It was extremely brave to tell us your story,” said Alex. “Don’t forget, you are never alone.”

Looking over at her friends, Alex smiled. She wasn’t alone either, her friends at Hogwarts were her family. Alex wasn’t going to be a disgrace to her Slytherin family, she was going to be a proud young Hufflepuff. Because with her friends, Hogwarts is her family and home.

The End.

Thank you ‘A Hufflepuff’ for giving me this idea.

Have a nice day, and see you next time :D

#harry potter fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic request #always hp fanfic #always-hp-fanfic #quidditch #please give me a request #have a nice day #hufflepuff #gryffindor #ravenclaw

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candyshua · 4 years

Note

36 with Joshua 🥺

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

i had soooo much fun writing this!! hehehehe i hope u all enjoy it :p

Genre: Angst, Fluff, princess!reader, poor boy!josh

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: None

You felt his calloused hand in your own as he continued to lead you through the dance floor. The King was watching, and you could practically feel his eyes bore a hole through the back of your head. Your hair was put up in a lovely, wonderful braided bun. A crown was placed atop your head, and although you were dancing at your own royal wedding, you did not feel like the future queen. And Mingyu, your betrothed, felt quite the opposite.

You thought Mingyu hated you. After all, he was a prince from a foreign land brought in to marry you. He was a pawn in your father–the King’s–game. You never expected him to love you.

And you never expected to hate him.

Mingyu was obsessive, arrogant, and overly-masculine. He thought claiming you as “his” was charming, like it would have you swooning. At times, you felt bad for your ill-natured feelings towards the tall and handsome man, but then those feelings of guilt would disintegrate when he’d say or do something that made you even more resentful of him.

Perhaps it wasn’t the future king’s fault as to why you hated him. You just didn’t want to accept the fact that you were in love with a man you could never have–Joshua Hong. Before you were announced to be the future queen of the kingdom, you went on a walk throughout the capital city to get to know the citizens who weren’t as pampered as you.

You wished you had never even left your bed that morning. You wished that things were so, so different.

You were in a simple outfit, black combat boots, cargo pants, and a black t-shirt. It looked appropriate for the bustling environment you were treading through, hagglers in the streets trying to sell their items. It was their livelihood, it paid the bills for them and their families. You couldn’t help but feel guilt as you turned down every man and woman who tried to pitch their products to you.

They needed the money, and you– the future queen–did not.

You avoided eye contact, eyes drawn to the ground in an ashamed manner. If you had looked up, you would’ve never bumped into the boy holding an entire carriage of fruits from various lands. You wouldn’t have gotten entangled into the mess that was Joshua Hong and his life.

Sadly, there’s no changing the past.

It all happened too quickly. You and your hurried pace came to a sudden halt when you crashed into the carriage, breaking the door that kept all the fruits from falling out. Once the door snapped, the fruits fell along with the poor boy’s face. You gasped ashamedly, trying to salvage whatever you could. Unfortunately, it was to no avail. All of those precious fruits that probably cost a fortune came tumbling out, and they either got stepped on, covered in dirt, or stolen.

“I’m so sorry!” You shouted, finally making eye contact with the boy. You, fifteen at the time, were just trying to get a feel of the kingdom you were going to rule one day. You didn’t mean to cause trouble, but that was your main talent–always stirring up something.

Instead of getting slapped across the face as you’d expect (physical punishment taught you to “behave”), the boy gave you a sad smile.

“It’s okay, I can always get more.” His voice was sweet and intoxicating, and before you knew it, your facade was getting closer to falling the longer you stared at his angelic face. His eyes were a chocolate brown, and they were warm and enticing. He was skinny, yet had lean muscle. His smile was just as inviting as his eyes, and his black hair was neatly styled to the side. He had a tan complexion, which just made you swoon even more.

Despite his warm smile, he was putting up a facade too. He worked incredibly hard for those fruits, and they were destroyed by one crash. Before you knew it, you grabbed his wrist and led him to an alleyway, making sure no one was watching. He knew how to defend himself, yet the brown-eyed boy knew you weren’t going to hurt him.

You were wearing a cloth to cover your mouth and a hood on your head, truly hiding your identity. You checked your surroundings one last time, eyes darting from person to person, making sure their attention was elsewhere.

The boy gulped.

You sighed, finally deciding to reveal your identity. You dramatically tore the cloth from your face and took your hood off, revealing the face of a princess. The tan boy was about to bow, get on his knees, but you held him upright with surprising strength.

“Don’t,” You ordered, “it will just draw attention.”

He nodded.

“Your Majesty,” He greeted. You scoffed, forever hating that title.

“You can just call me Y/N.” He gave you a curt nod.

“Then you can just call me Joshua, or Josh. Whatever floats your boat.”

His informal words made you smile out of endearment. He was dashing and adorable. You tried to ignore your rapidly-beating heart, but it was a strenuous task. You thought it was just beating fast since you ran to that alleyway, but it didn’t stop when you caught your breath. In fact, it beat faster since you were in such close proximity with the boy.

“I’m sorry for that. I’ll cover the expenses, don’t worry.” Joshua was about to open his mouth to protest, but you put up a hand, signaling him to stop. “You need it.”

Joshua nodded weakly, as if ashamed. But his shame didn’t match yours. You saw the city for what it was, a social ladder filled with back-stabbers and lowlifes. You wanted to scream at your father, asking him, how does it feel to be at the top? How does it feel to never truly suffer?

When you’d become queen, you were going to change things. That was for sure.

“I’m sorry, Josh.” You lamented, looking anywhere but his beautiful eyes. He nodded, and was about to walk away.

And, you’d go back to your palace. This would’ve just been another memory to you to look back on. You would never talk to Joshua again.

You hated that idea.

“Wait!” You whisper-shouted. You thought Joshua didn’t hear you, but after you said it again, he came to a halt. He spun around on his heel, curiosity betraying his usual unreadable exterior.

“Um, meet me here at twelve noon tomorrow. I’ll bring the money.”

Joshua gave you a curt nod. Something glinted in his eyes, but you just couldn’t put your finger on what that glint was.

It was excitement. Joshua was excited to have the opportunity to see you again.

The next day, the two of you upheld your own promises, meeting at the same time. You were in the same disguise as yesterday, which made Joshua find you much more easily. He smirked at the sight of you nervously pacing in the alleyway between a pub and a blacksmith’s shop.

He cleared his throat, making you jump. Usually, you could sense other people’s presence quite easily, having been trained in the area of self-defense and combat. Yet, Joshua’s movements were nimble like those of a cat. He was agile, quick, and quiet.

“Hi.” You greeted, already out of breath. Thump, thump, thump. Your heart started to beat swiftly all of a sudden. You cursed internally, something your father would not approve of. You had to contain yourself from rolling your eyes at the thought of him.

“Hey.” Joshua smiled, flashing you his beautiful teeth. Your eyes lingered on his lips for a bit too long, and he pretended not to notice. He had a bit of trouble hiding his smugness, though.

Yet, the smugness dissipated the moment you pulled out a cloth bag filled with an insurmountable amount of money. You had used the highest currency your kingdom had, and you just filled it in a bag. You had hoped it was enough.

Joshua practically drooled at the sight of the fortune sitting before him. You took his hand in yours and forced him to hold the bag. He couldn’t tell if his hands were sweaty due to the nerves from seeing you or the amount of money you possessed. He noticed the way you handled that amount of money with such ease, as if it were nothing at all.

“Thank you,” He hoarsely whispered, big brown orbs boring into yours.

You gave him a curt nod. It was just business, after all.

“You should probably get that home as soon as possible, before some thief comes and snatches it right from you.”

Joshua couldn’t agree more. He started to jog away from you and toward his house, until he stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around only to see you with a frown on your face.

He didn’t want this to be the end.

You were a princess! Even though he found you deadly beautiful, even though he knew you found him handsome, it could never work.

But he was just a kid.

You were probably already betrothed to a much more handsome and financially stable prince. If he stopped then, it would have been easier for everyone.

You wanted this too.

“Same place same time tomorrow?” Joshua asked, hope glinting in his eyes. You were excited, but absolutely astounded.

“What? Why?!”

“Just because.” And with that, you nodded a bit more eagerly than you should have, and Joshua ran off into the distance with a slight skip in his step.

Mingyu looked down into your eyes with an unreadable expression. You ignored him and continued to dance mechanically, your mind on Joshua Hong and nobody else. You had danced with Joshua before, but it was in an empty pub as he sang the words of the music, nothing else playing.

You were going to be sick. You couldn’t do this–you couldn’t marry Mingyu. You couldn’t have your fate sealed with a man you didn’t love. You thought you could change things, but you knew Mingyu, as the king, would have much more power than you.

And he would never listen to you.

No, you wouldn’t be able to change a goddamn thing.

After the music ended, you told the future king you needed to step outside. For once, he didn’t probe you with questions and just gave you a nod of approval. You scoffed. You would’ve gone anyway, with or without his approval.

The ballroom was gigantic, with a huge crystal chandelier protruding from the ceiling along with paintings of the past kings and queens with golden frames. Elegant tables dressed with tablecloths and chairs worth more than a poor peasant’s yearly salary were thoughtfully placed throughout the suffocating environment. Despite how grand it was, you felt claustrophobic.

You expertly slipped through the doors of the room, having passed by guards many times before. Just like then, the purpose was all the same–you wanted to see Joshua.

He was in your room, just like he’d promised. He worked in the castle as a servant, a job you appointed him just so the two of you could see each other more. However, he wasn’t supposed to work tonight, but you helped him get in the castle and hid him away in your room.

He smiled at the sight of you, letting himself intake your beautiful dress and crown. However, he felt a twinge of melancholy, knowing that you weren’t dressed up for him.

Before he could even greet you, you crashed your lips onto his. He, of course, reciprocated almost immediately, always up to kissing you.

You pulled away, much too soon to the both of your liking.

“I can’t marry him,” You admitted, “I can’t be queen. They’re gonna squash me like a bug. Mingyu will never listen to my ideas, the men will always be one step ahead of me, Josh. What should I do?”

Joshua sucked in a deep breath, a bit rattled by your words. He knew what was going to happen the moment he decided to keep meeting up with you. He knew you were never his to begin with. You were destined to fall apart.

“You must.” Was all Joshua could muster. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to contain himself from crying. He was doing quite a poor job, since he could taste his salty tears on his lips.

“Josh, you’ve shown me what love can feel like,” You began with haste, “and love is very fucking–pardon my language–powerful. Let’s run away to another kingdom. I’ve heard stories, Josh, ones that give me hope. There are places out there without kings and queens, the leaders are elected due to their ability. Josh, if we leave right now–”

“You’re being stupid, impulsive, and overly-emotional. You’re going to get us killed, Y/N!”

“I’d rather die loving you than live without you.” The words were powerful, they held the fire of a thousand suns, yet your words did not burn Joshua. For some odd reason, they comforted him. Your grasp around his hands felt warm all of a sudden.

“Well, if we’re gonna leave, you’re gonna have to change your dress. I’ll start getting supplies, maps, and whatnot. We have to be quick.” Joshua demanded. Whatever boyish qualities he had once had faded away years ago. He was a man, at the ripe age of twenty-three. You loved him more than you loved anything else in the world. And, if you were to die by the hands of your father or Mingyu, at least it would be by his side.

You undressed with haste, not struggling in the slightest. You’ve worn your fair share of dresses before. You undid the braids in your hair and took your crown off.

You left it on your nightstand. You had hoped the message was clear to everyone–you did not want to be the queen of this corrupt kingdom.

Joshua came back within twenty minutes, his eyes widened with fear and adrenaline.

“How are we gonna leave? Y/N, we should’ve thought this through–”

“You think I haven’t? Pft,” You scoffed, “I have friends who stand with me. I’ll get us two horses and a carriage in a heartbeat. We need to go north, that’s our best shot. Okay?”

Joshua nodded. No words were necessary, the drumming of his heart that reverberated throughout his head was enough consolation to him, and to you.

You ran up and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips, leaving him a bit taken aback. Before he could ask why, you answered for him.

“Just because.”

People had started looking for you, but you expertly dodged all of the guards. You and Joshua managed to get to where Joshua had kept the supplies he had gathered, and your friend who worked in the stable with the horses helped you haul them onto the carriage. You gave her one last hug goodbye and stepped into the carriage, letting Joshua steer. If anyone saw your face, you would be dead.

You imagined the “wanted” posters that would go up once everyone realized you weren’t going to marry Mingyu. Fear bubbled in your stomach, but it didn’t outweigh the love you felt for Joshua. It didn’t outweigh the hope you held close to your heart for a bright future.

“Let’s go.” You demanded.

And so you went, on into the dwindling night. The bitter air kissed your skin, but you didn’t feel cold whatsoever. You felt alive and free.

You weren’t sure if you would succeed, but you knew you would never forgive yourself if you didn’t at least try. And, with Joshua by your side, you felt as if you could do anything.

“I love you, Joshua.” You murmured to no one but yourself. He couldn’t hear you over the clanks of the horse’s feet against the ground anyway.

No, you were not destined to fall apart. In fact, it was quite the opposite–you were destined to rise.

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cablecorvid · 3 years

Text

The Night I Werked For Slenderman

Ah, the early 2010s, they were really much simpler times. I spent my days doing what most emo kids in their late teens did back then- sitting cross legged in my computer chair and scrolling through Tumblr. I would absentmindedly fiddle with the laces on my checkered Van's while I read through my friends' profiles, reblogging pictures of my favorite bands, and creating posts that were oh so relatable and original, ranging from "lol XD I'm so random" to "I'm so dark and edgy, and nobody understands me" depending on how I felt that day.

It was a night just like any other, just another Wednesday evening when I should have been sleeping before school in the morning. Me being me, the angsty 18 year old guy that I was back then, I had deliberately chosen to stay up late. I was keeping with my typical Tumblr routine, just clicking on various hashtags and hoping from topic to topic, my favorite songs streaming from YouTube on a separate tab.

I had always likened myself to the Mad Hatter, but you might as well call me Alice, because that night I fell down the most life-changing rabbit hole I would ever find. This was the night I discovered the realm of the Creepypasta.

It was like a whole new world had opened up to me. I went through so many posts, each one introducing me to or teaching me about the greatest creations of classic Creepypasta- Jeff the Killer, Smile Dog, Ben Drowned, one right after the other. After several hours of scrolling and clicking and almost a whole can of Monster, I was engrossed, disturbed and intrigued. Images of so many terrifying creatures had filled my mind; I had read just about enough on this topic for one night and was planning on finding something new to look at when I told myself I'd scroll down to one last post...

That was when I saw him. The tall man in black. The crown prince of Creepypasta. The one, the only, Slenderman. He seemed so simple, and yet so unnerving. The grainy black and white photo attached to the post sent chills down my spine. I was hooked, I just had to learn more. Before I knew it, another hour had passed. The can that once held my energy drink was empty, and I wasn't going to stop reading until I was thoroughly versed on all things Slender.

I don't remember what was on before, but I took just a moment to change the song playing on YouTube. Everyone has that one guilty pleasure song that makes them want to bust a move, and I found mine right at the top of my "recommended videos" list. Now, an important side note: the 2010s were a wild mix of pop culture advancements. Alongside the rise of the Creepypasta and the Emo genre, a new dance trend had come into the limelight: the twerk. My best friend, Victoria, who ran in the "cool" circles at school, had attempted to teach me, but I hadn't ever been what you would call good at it. I turned the song on, clicking back on the Tumblr tab on my browser, and kept scrolling, dancing in my chair and singing along while I read.

Over the sound of my music, I heard a tapping noise. I thought it must be the wind or something. I ignored it until again, I heard it, a tap tap tap coming from my window, louder this time. I turned around and felt my heart drop, letting out a scream. The pale, faceless figure I had been reading about was standing outside of my house, his long black tentacles snaking out from his body and, every so often, bumping against the glass with another tap. "This can't be real!" I said to myself, stifling another scream. I turned around to turn off my music, but instead of my regular browser the page was a background of static and, to my shock, the still image of a hyperrealistic set of asscheeks, clad in black formal trousers. It looked like they could pop out of my monitor at any time.

I jumped out of my chair and ran across the room. This can't be happening, I told myself. But, in my heart I knew it had to be. I turned around and he was still there, and he was… Shaking. His menacing form blocked the moonlight, casting a long thin shadow that wobbled through my room. We stared at one another for a little while until I caught my breath. A tendril pressed at the edge of my window, trying to open it. I realized that I hadn't locked it after my last time sneaking out of the house, but it was far too late to do anything now- eventually, after, prodding and pushing, the window gave a creak as it opened and the noodly appendage slipped inside. It curled and gestured towards Slenderman, as if it was beckoning me to come forward. I don't know what possessed me to do so, but I made the decision to go outside and face him, man to man.

I made my way through the house, through the kitchen to our back entrance, hoping desperately with each step that he would be gone by the time I got out of the house. My hopes were dashed when I threw the door open and stepped out into the chilly night air. I realized then, as I laid eyes on him, what he was doing- it was something that I can’t fully describe even to this day. Slenderman, the internet legend himself, was throwing it back in a way I had never seen before, and may never see again. He turned his head slowly, menacingly, his eyeless gaze landing upon me.

No story I read could have prepared me for this encounter, for that itty bitty waist and the round thing in my face. Slenderman, they called him? I beg to differ. Those thighs, that booty? He was thicc. So very, very thicc. He stared at me, unflinching. I stared back in shock, examining the scene before me. One of tentacle-like tendrils made its way towards me, the same beckoning motion it had in my bedroom. I took a step forward. “Okay, big guy. What do you want?” I said aloud, my own courage surprising me.

Slenderman slowed to a stop, then stood straight up. His height, his stance, it shook me to my core. Then, he slowly took his former position once more, his hands on his knees, and waited, his unseeing glare seemingly peering through my very soul. “What do you want?! I already asked you.” Slenderman tilted his head quizzically. He raised his hand slowly, gesturing to me, then returned it to its place on his knee.

My eyes widened, the realization hitting me. “Do you want….. You want me to…. Join you?” I sputtered. He nodded slowly, and I paused. What was I doing? Was I really about to twerk with a being so powerful he struck fear into the hearts of anyone who saw him and could make me disappear without a trace? I told myself that if this really could be the last night of my life I might as well have fun with it. I placed my hands on my knees as he had and nodded to him. It was then that Slenderman started to twerk once more. I slowly shook my head, he slowly shook his ass. I heard the music from my computer grow louder and he really got into it. I tried my best to keep up but there was no way I could match his technique- he was just so advanced and so fluid in his movements. His hips moved in ways that no human could ever compare to, shaking what his momma or whatever unholy creature that made him gave him.

I can’t tell you how long we werked it for, but I could feel my legs growing tired. I wouldn’t dare stop until he was ready to, though I was afraid he could go on forever. I tried to follow his form, shaking it to the beat of the music, but I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. I was almost ready to admit defeat, to collapse after the vigorous dancing that I’d been doing.

My saving grace came in the form of my mother’s voice, and I spun around just as she flicked a switch and flooded the kitchen with light. “What on God’s green Earth are you doing out here, blaring your music at this time of night?!” My mother screamed at me as I put an arm up, shielding my eyes from the sudden illumination.

“It’s not what you think Mom, it’s!-” I turned to look back at Slenderman, but, to my surprise, he had vanished. Not a fleck of dirt on the ground was disturbed where he had once stood- he had completely and utterly vanished.

“I don’t want to hear any lip from you! You get back inside this instant, turn off that racket, and get yourself to bed! Do you hear me?”

“But Mo-”

“No buts!” Mom snapped, grabbing my arm and pulling me indoors. As she shut the door behind me, I thought to myself. If only she knew what I had just experienced. Maybe she would have known that “buts” were the whole reason I was out there in the first place. I promptly went to my room, turned off the music, and slept like a rock. When I woke in the morning, I questioned myself. Could it really have been real? Did that actually happen? I knew in my heart that it could be, that it was, and that it did.

It’s been years since that night. I don’t think of it all that often, but anytime I’m in the club or dancing in my room and bussin it down, I get a chill and the memories come flooding back to me. Not out of fear, no no, simply out of my mad respect for the best in the game. If there’s any lesson that I hope you take from this story, dear reader, it’s this: If you should find yourself in the presence of the creature of your nightmares, don’t throw away your dreams. Throw some ass. You may just be alright after all.

Source: The Night I Werked For Slenderman - u/SkeletonicKeys on r/Iconpasta

#slenderman #slenderverse #wtf do i tag this as #creepypasta #its almost 3am #reb please go to bed #not mine #not my work

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luvneedsnosyt · 4 years

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My Favorite Albums of 2019

Here is my list of my personal top albums of 2019 You can find my separate list for top EPs of 2019 here.

My Previous monthly lists from 2019: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

My list last year for my top albums of 2018 can be found here.

*Indicates someone I saw live in 2019

Honorable Mentions:

Anderson .Paak - Ventura Genre: Hip Hop / R&B/ Soul

Recorded at the same time as last year’s Oxnard, Ventura is the more tender and unassuming brother of the two. Despite the vulnerability this seems to be Anderson’s more comfortable persona. Focusing on love and feelings and other mushy stuff. The experimenting on this album between R&B, jazz, electronic music creates a glossy and elaborate form of hip hop. At times Anderson’s versatility can get a bit in the way on long form projects, here that creativity is perhaps the most channeled of his career.

Proof: Reachin’ 2 Much (Feat. Lelah Hathaway) / Chosen One (Feat. Sonyae)

Anna of the North - Dream Girl Genre: Synth-Pop

The tender and delicate music of Oslo singer Anna of the North is back following up her touching 2017 debut album. Anna’s music is not totally unassuming but is very subtle and reserved. You can take a moment to stop and feel the soothing vibes or you can pass it by and not notice. The synth based production is meant to provide a basis to get hips moving but also not to reach out and demand your attention in a needy way. Anna’s vocals are always warm and bouncy even when singing about sad subject matters.

Proof: My Love / Playing Games

Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? Genre: Synth-Pop

I stumbled on Billie Eilish’s “ocean eyes” single early on and instantly became a fan of her dark and brooding sound. It reminded me of the first time I heard The Weeknd. Even being an early subscriber it did surprise me a bit the vice grip the 18 year old would put on 2019. I knew she would find an audience with the undeniable talent for songwriting and impacting voice beyond her years. I did not foresee this low lit and frankly weird music hitting the mainstream with such a force, but I sure am glad it did. This is where I would say I can’t wait to see how she follows up this monster of debut album, but honestly she deserves to revel in the influence it is having and enjoy this moment. She will be around for however long she wishes to in the industry; that I am certain of.

Proof: bad guy / you should see me in a crown

BJ The Chicago Kid - 1123 Genre: R&B / Soul

It was a long time coming for hook provider BJ The Chicago Kid’s 2016 debut album In My Mind. He showed he can carry a solo project just fine. Now in 2019 he’s back for his victory lap with another soulful and sexy album that follows up his debut quite nicely. BJ is a bit of a throw back to the late 90’s/early 2000’s soul music which is right up my alley so you already know I ride for it with no qualms.

Proof: Rather Be With You / Reach (Feat. Afrojack)

Bon Iver - i,i Genre: Indie Pop / Folk

Justin Vernon’s band Bon Iver has created quite a robust cult following that’s very impressive off of four albums spanning over 12 years and in non-uniform song structures and themes. i,i might be the band’s most straightforward record, but that doesn’t mean there’s any downgrade in creativity and innovation. As always the case with Bon Iver albums your senses are confronted with multiple instruments and production tools used in traditional ways and used in ways you wouldn’t think of. Grooves are created then shifted and the only real constant is you don’t know what direction the music will go next. But that’s part of the joy and you know Justin Vernon is a trustworthy navigator on this expansive journey.

Proof: Hey, Ma / U (Man Like)

Bring Me the Horizon - amo Genre: Rock / Alternative

On their sixth album, the English rock group took experimentation and expansion seriously broadening their rock sound to new horizons (ok, that was bad). amo isn’t as much a departure for the alt-Metal group but more increasing their pallet to include more cross genre influences dipping into punk, pop, electronic and hip hop. There’s definitely risk with lofty exploration so suddenly in a band’s discography but BMTH pull it off rather elegantly here creating a unique blend that sounds a bit like a harder hitting Muse record. I am one to applaud audacious creative efforts to expand on ones sound if the motives seem pure; even when those attempts don’t quite work (Mumford & Sons - Babel, Jack White - Boarding House Reach, Coldplay - Everyday Life this year for instance). When they do stick the landing you can bet I am in awe.

Proof: in the dark / medicine

Circa Waves - What’s It Like Over There? Genre: Alternative / Rock

I will admit the English band hasn’t really been on my radar before this album, so I can’t ascribe how this album is different than their previous two albums (from what I've read it is very different though). What I do know if this is some of the best rock music to come out of 2019 in a year that wasn’t too kind to the genre. There are many emotional moments of this record that really bring levity to the glossy and cinematic music backdrops. There are two albums already announced in early 2020 from the group; they are definitely on my radar now.

Proof: Sorry, I’m Yours / Be Somebody Good

Chance The Rapper - Big Day Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

With how long he’s been around and how many Mixtapes and side projects Chance has dropped it’s pretty surprising this is his first ever official LP. When you wait that long and build (to his credit) the anticipation he has, a lot of weight gets put on that first album; unfortunately I feel that weight affected the product and swallowed it up a bit once released. Chance, I think, felt a responsibility to speak to his vast diversity we’ve seen over the years in sounds and flows. That resulted in a bit of a bloated and disjointed project. Something Chance projects always seem to have is a continuity despite their variety that seems to be absent here. Once the short coming are acknowledged there is some really great songs here with few missteps (although there are a few). Some more quality control, restraint and a concept to follow there are the makings of a possible top 10 of the year album here. My favorite moments are the nostalgic and 90’s R&B influences moments that sprinkle the album, a whole project with those as more a driving force could really be something special.

Proof: All Day Long (Feat. John Legend) / Zanies and Fools (Feat. Darius Scott & Nicki Minaj)

Dabin* - Wild Youth // Wild Youth (The Remixes) Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

Toronto multi-instrumentalist and electronic DJ Dabin returns with a sophomore album of more emotional and evocative electronic soundscapes. The melodic album flows smoothly through inspirational tracks of finding oneself coming to a climactic crescendo with the cinematic closer “Alive”.

Proof: In Flames (Feat. Lexi Norton) / Alive (Feat. RUNN) // Part-Time Lover (Crystal Skies Remix) Feat. Claire Ridgely / Alive (Trvecta Remix) Feat. RUNN

Dermot Kennedy* - Without Fear Genre: Pop / Soul

Irish singer Dermot Kennedy’s voice comes in like a freight train straight for your ear drum. He sings with such evocative passion and force it is quite a sound to behold. That’s not to say Without Fear is all potent bellowing. Dermot on his soulful debut here has plenty of softer, tender moments as well.

Proof: Moment’s Passed / Redemption

Foals - Part 2: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Genre: Rock / Alternative

The second part of the English Rock bands 2-part album project this year is the louder and more aggressive sibling. The music is a bit less glossy and more gritty then it predecessor but still is quite refined in its ferociousness. I do prefer the more melodic first offering of the two but that doesn’t need to take away from how exhilarating this album is as well.

Proof: The Runner / Neptune

GoldLink - Diaspora Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

With his second album, DMV rapper GoldLink dove deeper into his African roots with increased Afro-inspired production and themes. Diaspora is a fusion dish of of East coast Hip Hop base, with 90’s R&B notes, a sprinkle of Jazz, a dash of DC house and intermixing of traditional African qualities. It’s quite a vibrant and varied plateful!

Proof: Zulu Screams (Feat. Feat. Maleek Berry & Babi Bourelly) / More (Feat. Lola Rae)

Goldroom - Plunge /\ Surface Genre: Electronic / House / Dance

Returning from a brief hiatus after his debut album, 2016’s West of the West, Goldroom sneaked in at the end of November with one of the years most fun house records. The wait was definitely worth it for Goldroom fans. Plunge /\ Surface has a sense of wonder, discovery and joy that I think was quite well timed.

Proof: Do You Feel It Now (Feat. Love & Alexa) / Just Like A Dream (Feat. Nikki Segal)

Georgia Maq - Pleaser Genre: Synth-Pop / Alternative

My late addition to my already completed list is this surprising and electrifying debut solo project from the lead singer of Melbourne punk/Alternative group Camp Cope. Just slipping in with an early release right before my cut off date (for my own sanity). This album is nothing like the sound of her band though. Instead Georgia Maq looked to artists like Robyn, LCD Soundsystem and Cut Copy for her solo venture with some delightfully delicious 80′s synth vibes. Pleaser is dark and atmospheric but not devoid of brittle emotion and angst.

Proof: Pleaser / Big Embarrassing Heart

Hozier* - Wasteland, Baby! Genre: Indie Pop / Soul / Folk

Years later, when looking back on Hozier’s career, we may look back at this album as a sort of turning point. The Irish singer through early EP’s and his debut album has always had a powerful form of soulful Folk music that moves people to many emotional states. But on this sophomore album Hozier seemed to figure something out. Incorporating a Motown feel into his music has unleashed it and his strong voice to a new level. Wasteland, Baby! Is a sentimental excursion through love, empowerment and hope.

Proof: Movement / Would That I

James Blake - Assume Form Genre: Progressive Pop / Electronic / Indie Pop

English producer and singer James Blake returns with his artful progressive form of pop music that only he can produce. Assume Form continues in his tradition of bending song structure and genres to his will to create powerful evocative landscapes to explore. The experimental artist keeps finding ways to push the boundaries while still making beautiful lush music to get lost in.

Proof: Barefoot in the Park (Feat. ROSALÍA) / Where’s The Catch? (Feat. Andre 3000)

Kevin Abstract - ARIZONA BABY Genre: Hip Hop

BROCKHAMPTON founding member drops off his third solo album which is a tender and impacting affair through the life of a figure in hip hop with a lot of hate sent to him, but a lot of love to send out. The openly gay rapper using this as a form of empowerment to let others who may be struggling know they have the power within themselves to make their life something of fulfillment.

Proof: Joyride / Mississippi

Kim Petras - TURN OFF THE LIGHT [Mixtape] Genre: Synth-Pop / House / Dance

Only a few months after dropping her debut album the new, exciting singer wants to keep us all guessing and elaborated on her Halloween EP from last year with this full mixtape. Her debut album is more Synth-Pop with some targeted EDM moments. This is a burst of haunting house music meant to get your heart rate pulsating and feet moving.

Proof: There Will Be Blood / Close Your Eyes

Mabel - High Expectations Genre: R&B / neo-Soul

British female R&B artists are having quite a moment right now. With the success of Jorja Smith, Ella Mai and RAYE last year to Sinead Harnett, Mahalia (it was seriously hard to take her off my list) and Mabel this year. Mabel has already had some hits from her 2017 mixtape Ivy to Roses, so this debute is quite a confident strut with tales of love, love lost and overcoming. The glossy production establishes a bouncy, beach vibe, probably influenced from her origins on the Mediterranean coast of Spain. Her stellar song writing is really what takes the attention throughout as every track has an ability to establish a connection with the listener quite effortlessly.

Proof: Don’t Call Me Up / Mad Love

Maverick Sabre - When I Wake Up Genre: Pop / Soul

English/Irish singer Maverick Sabre returns with his third album that’s a unique and soulful jaunt. The 29 year old’s deep voice has a commanding and captivating effect on the listener throughout. The somewhat minimalist backing lets the potent voice and piercing song lyrics be the emotional driving force to great effect.

Proof: Slow Down (Feat. Jorja Smith) / Weakness

Rapsody - Eve Genre: Hip Hop

For her third album, Grammy nominated rapper Rapsody drops off quite a Tour de force of inspiration and empowerment. Every track is named after a black female icon that has influenced Rapsody. The North Carolina rapper’s lyrics flow and dense lyrics are top notch as always. The production has an increased levity to match the themes. Rapsody has gotten where she is from sheer will and strength within, now she's looking outward to inspirations to find her next step up the ladder.

Proof: Nina / Iman (Feat. SiR & JID)

The List:

Last One Out: Kim Petras - Clarity Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

The debut album from German singer Kim Petras was a long time coming and the build up was quite a slow burn. Since 2017 the 27 year old singer started one by one dropping pretty exciting one-off singles (none of which show up here). To our surprise her first official project was a surprised-dropped Halloween themed EP in 2018 (that, as seen in my Honorable Mentions above, was released this year as a full mixtape). Finally in early 2019 we get Kim’s first full length album and the wait was well worth it. Clarity is an electric and glossy affair of lust, self love and female empowerment. Kim is on quite a tear right now from this to her features on other artists projects that I don’t see slowing down anytime soon.

Proof: Icy / Got My Number / Do Me / Another One

35. 88rising - Head in the Clouds II Genre: R&B / Hip Hop

LA based collective 88rising began as mostly Asian-American rap artists. As they went in a more serious direction with their music and label they began acquiring production and R&B talent that has elevated the output to something to really admire. In the early stages I was a bit dismissive of the artists but the last three years I have increasingly been won over. With the success of Joji’s 2018 solo album the collective chose to lean heavier into the electro-R&B sound on their second compilation album that is paying great dividends here. Head in the Clouds II is filled with spacey tender songs that inspire and captivate. The lessons and progressions everyone in the collective are making adds to my excitement with each release.

Proof: Joji & GENERATIONS from EXILE TRIBE - Need Your Love / Jackson Wang & Higher Brother’s - Tequila Sunrise (Feat. AUGUST 08 & GoldLink) / RHYME SO - Just Used Music Again / NIKI - La La Lost You

34. Karen O* & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock

Two of today’s icons collide on this collaboration album that probably should have happened years ago. Yeah Yeah Yeahs front singer Karen O has influenced so many of today’s alternative artists (especially women led ones), and it’s always a solid veteran karaoke bar move to put in “MAPS”. Meanwhile Danger Mouse has been a go-to producer in both hip hop and alternative and formed a few emblematic pairings on albums with MF Doom (as Danger Mask), CeeLo (as Gnarles Barkley) and James Mercer of The Shins (as Broken Bells). Together Karen and DM are a perfect pair. Karen is as potent as ever singing over a lush and intricate backdrops by the paws of Danger Mouse.

Proof: Lux Prima / Turn the Light / Woman / Redeemer

33. Little Simz - GREY Area Genre: Hip Hop

London rapper comes in swinging with her powerful third full length album. Her flow is so measured and confident and firing on all cylinders here with no wasted syllables or breaths on any verse along the project. The song subject matters dive into some pretty personal and touching territory letting the listener into some intimate thoughts. At 25, we are witnessing an artist really come into their own and it is an inspirational and beautiful thing.

Proof: Offense / Boss / Venom / Pressure (Feat. Little Dragon)

32. Shura* - forevher Genre: Synth-Pop

For her second album, Shura used the same 80’s nostalgic electronic pallet of her debut but this time a bit more slowed tempo with a layer of added sensuality. While her marvelous 2016 debut, Nothing’s Real, focused on the angst of growing into young adulthood, finding ones self and feeling comfortable in your own skin (as she initially struggled coming out publicly as a lesbian artist). On forevher, Shura focuses more intimately on her own relationship. Many of the songs being inspired by precise moments in the relationship with her current girlfriend, there is a noticeable narrowing of the scope. The result is an incredibly tender offering that allows us a glimpse into the UK Singer’s warm heart.

Proof: religion (u can lay your hands on me) / the stage / flyin’ / forever

31. A R I Z O N A - ASYLUM Genre: Synth-Pop

The New Jersey electro-pop band A R I Z O N A follows up their 2017 debut album nicely here. Maintaining their knack for writing catchy as hell hooks along enticing dance inducing electronic production. With features on both Don Diablo’s 2018 album Future and Avicii’s posthumous release, TIM, this year, the band’s notoriety seems to be on a steady incline.

Proof: Nostalgic / Find Someone / Freaking Out / Still Alive

30. VÉRITÉ - new skin Genre: Pop

Brooklyn based singer VÉRITÉ returns with her sophomore album aimed right for all of your feels at once. VÉRITÉ’s sound is understated and delicate, yet packed with raw and identifiable emotions. There is a progression as well from Somewhere in Between with a noticeable bit more comfort in moments where she can let loose. new skin, doesn’t reach out and scream for your attention, but it is a rewarding and sentimental ride for those that give it.

Proof: good for it / body in my bed / think of me / gone

29. Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Ezra Koenig and Vampire Weekend took their sweet time for their fifth album. Six years to be exact from 2013’s Modern Vampires of the City. Also in that time founding member Rostam left the group as a full time member (though still contributing to this album on a few songs). The time lapse and shifting of collaborators led to their most sprawling and experimental album to date. There are some swings that don’t quite connect but for the most part this is an exhilarating and unpredictable exploration by the band that is definitely worth the journey.

Proof: Harmony Hall / This Life / How Long? / Sympathy

28. LÉON - LÉON Genre: Pop / Soul

When I saw this was Swedish singer LÉON’s debut I had to google to make sure. It’s been awhile since LÉON first popped on my radar with her beautiful and sultry tunes, but those have been from three EPs. The wait was well worth it for this angelic record of pleasant pop bops, one after another. These tracks make themselves right at home in your subconscious; taking their shoes off and checking what’s in your fridge. LÉON’s voice itself has a gentle nature to it coupled with a raspy, sensuality that is enduring and soothing.

Proof: Lost Time / Falling / Hope Is A Heartache / You and I

27. MUNA - Save The World Genre: Synth-Pop

No sophomore slump for the American trio, MUNA here. Save The World is quite a refreshing progression from their tender 2017 debut. There’s a little more of a free feeling on this album that comes with increased confidence in their craft. The tracks are all incredibly catchy and easily stick with you well after first listen. “Stayway” is the shining jewel on the album and one of my most favorite tracks of 2019.

Proof: Number One Fan / Stayaway / Never / Hands Off

26. Foals - Part 1: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost / Part 1: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost (Remixes) Genre: Rock / Alternative

The 1st part of English rock band’s 2-album project comes in like a Indy Car full speed for subconcious. The unique melding if Synth based beats and guitar driven grooves creates an enticing energetic sound you can get lost in. Part 2 was a big more reaching and aggressive, where Part 1 had more of a basis track to track that I felt made it the stronger outputting of the two.

Proof: Exits / White Onions / In Degrees / On The Luna // In Degrees (Purple Disco Machine Remix) / Syrups (Vincent Taurelle Remix) / Exits (Lawrence Hart and Little Clubs Remix) / Exits (George FitzGerald Remix)

25. Denzel Curry - ZUU Genre: Hip Hop

Denzel Curry has always had promise to me with his frantic delivery. There were meaningful lyrics there and more focused passion than most of his peers his age in hip hop. The trick was channeling that boiling emotion for the rapper, that he struggled with early. Last year’s TA13OO was the first hint the 24 year old was starting to get this balance in his music. Only ten months later we see a fully formed Denzel with the directed missile that is ZUU. There aren’t many wasted moments here as Denzel focuses on what he needs to say and the most effective way to say it. All the while also making track after track meant to be played at the loudest decibel possible; that all smack the concrete with aggression and no remorse.

Proof: ZUU / RICKY / BIRDZ (Feat. Rick Ross) / CAROLMART (Feat. Ice Billion Berg)

24. Tei Shi - La Linda Genre: R&B / Soul

For those of us following Tei Shi’s career since her early EP days there is a definite increase in her confidence as an artist on this sophomore album. The Argentina-born Colombian artist’s beautiful melodies flow at their own pace with a delicate precision and grace. Tei Shi’s low lit sounds lives in a mellow and assured range making the pockets where she lifts her voice that much more impacting. There’s both a layer of innocence and care as well as a level of empowerment and self-assured sex appeal in her vocals that are impossible to not get enthralled with.

Proof: Alone in the Universe / Even If It Hurts (Feat. Blood Orange) / When He’s Done / A Kiss Goodbye

23. Sigrid - Sucker Punch Genre: Pop

23 year old Norwegian singer Sigrid burst on the scene with her successful debut EP in 2017, and it’s been an effective upward trajectory since. Another EP came out in 2018 before this marvelous debut album. Sucker Punch packs quite a punch of delightfully infectious and identifiable jams. There is an ease to the charismatic mood of this album that shows how genuine Sigrid is with every song written. This young singer has some definite longevity ahead of her in the pop world.

Proof: Basic / Strangers / Don’t Feel Like Crying / Don’t Kill My Vibe

22. Charli XCX - Charli Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

After her sophomore album, 2014’s Sucker, English singer Charli XCX stated she felt a bit restricted in her solo career and decided to break out of the standard production method. A whole album was made but leaked online and Charli decided to scrap the project and began tinkering with her music more. During this period first came the 2016 collaboration EP with the producer SOPHIE, Vroom Vroom. Then in 2017 came two mixtapes. It was these two mixtapes Charli started realizing how she can warp and bend music to her will. Her production became more of a unique melding of dancey Synth-Pop with abrasive Electronic sounds. Her hooks were still top notch but the song structure began to become more of a free flowing organism then a structured framework. Taking what she learned from SOPHIE, and the two mixtapes into her third album, Charli is a project of abundance and unfiltered passion. The feelings are real and human but are focused into a diamond and refracted out into numerous directions. The description sounds chaotic but there still is a very controlled nature to the chaos of this vibrant pop. Charli has found a way to manipulate pop music to contort like a complicated yoga stance. She's Neo from The Matrix. I suggest just plugging in and letting the complex machine she built take you away.

Proof: Gone (w/ Christine and the Queens) / Blame It On Your Love (Feat. Lizzo) / Silver Cross / February 2017 (Feat. Clairo & Yaeji)

21. Bishop Briggs - CHAMPION Genre: R&B / Pop / Soul

Less than 18 months after her roaring debut album, British singer Bishop Briggs is back with her sophomore effort. CHAMPION is a bit more subdued than last year’s Church of Scars, but still the centerpiece is the powerful vocals. My only critique is that I feel the short timeline of this project when I listen. I don’t know the reason for such a short turn around, but some of the songs don’t feel as fleshed out as its predecessor that was years in the making. Despite that critique, this is still a beautiful and authoritative collection of power ballads meant to inspire and embolden.

Proof: CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? / CHAMPION (Feat. Tom Morello) / LONELY / WILD

20. Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Genre: R&B / Hip Hop

Detroit singer/rapper Lizzo has been around a few years now, but her third album was definitely her break out to insurmountable success and admiration. Songs like “Coconut Oil”, “Good As Hell” and “Water Me” (added on the deluxe version of this album) would get some attention, especially after featured on television shows. But in 2019 the stars aligned for Lizzo’s take over. Despite the increase in notoriety (to now include the backlash from people tired of her) let’s not overshadow that this music and its message is worthy of the attention. Lizzo’s dramatic and vibrant mixture of R&B, Hip Hop, Soul, Jazz, Funk and Gospel wrapped in a fast paced train with the breaks cut is quite the exhilarating experience. This coupled with her unapologetic message of self love and respect created quite the energetic Molotov cocktail for her to throw in our ears and get our bodies up and moving. Those that may be tired of her, well either learn to ignore or deal with it, because Lizzo is not going anywhere anytime soon.

Proof: Cuz I Love You / Jerome / Tempo (Feat. Missy Elliott) / Water Me

19. Tory Lanez - Chixtape 5 [Mixtape] Genre: R&B / Hip Hop

Having now established himself in the industry with three albums. Tory decided to take a trip back to his beginnings with this album/mixtape drop. Early in his career, Tory had four Chixtape mixtapes that were all influenced by the late 90’s/early 2000’s R&B Tory was raised on. For the fifth entry, and first since he has become established, Tory took this to a whole new level not only directly sampling classics from that timeline but also featuring the artists themselves. The result is a blast of nostalgia and sexy-ass grooves that I dare your hips to stay still the whole hour. I haven’t heard a lot of Tory’s early catalog but since his debut album this is solidly my favorite project by the Canadian Singer. The nostalgia is a bit of a crutch but that doesn’t make this project any less successful or enjoyable. I am squarely in the wheelhouse of who this is made for so there is a bias here but this was probably my most fun first listening experience of the year.

Proof: The Trade (Feat. Jagged Edge & Jermaine Dupri) / Beauty in the Benz (Feat. Snoop Dogg) / Still Waiting (Feat. Trey Songz) / If You Gotta… (Feat. Fabolous)

18. Mark Ronson - Late Night Feelings Genre: R&B / Pop

2015’s Uptown Special with the mega-hit “Uptown Funk” was a whirlwind for Mark Ronson’s career as a solo artist. Already a prolific producer behind the boards of some of the most important albums over the last 15 years, Ronson’s solo career has been a bit under the radar until 2015. Which is why the about-face from glitz and abundance to a tender collection of songs about heartbreak is a bit of a surprise. But not a surprise I am mad about. The infectious, dancey funk we know from Ronson is still very much present on Late Night Feelings, but wrapped in a blanket of anguish only broken love can bring. Despite it’s more subtle and depressing themes, Ronson has stated this is the solo album he has spent the most time creating and that level of care is very apparent.

Proof: Late Night Feelings (Feat Lykke Li) / Find U Again (Feat. Camila Cabello) / Pieces Of Us (Feat. King Princess) / Why Hide (Feat. Diana Gordon)

17. Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell! Genre: Pop / Soul

My long time admiration for Lana’s artistry and craft are well documented on here. Happening on her homemade “Video Games” video on YouTube was one of the catalysts to creating this blog. A memory I will always cherish is seeing her in 2011 at the Troubadour in Hollywood when she only had about 6 songs on YouTube to sing. Now, six albums later her music still is some of the most moving and affecting out there for me. Norman Fucking Rockwell! Is probably Lana’s most consistent and assured record since Ultraviolence. Lyrics wise this may be her most crisp ever.

Proof: Venice Bitch / Fuck it I love you / The greatest / Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it

16. Seven Lions* - Ophelia Volume 1 Genre: Electronic / Trance / Dance

Prolific electronic producer Seven Lions has long been one of my favorite artists. 2018 and 2019 have been excitingly very busy years for the Californian DJ/Producer. Starting his own label Ophelia Records in 2018, 7L has used it as an opportunity to seek out great up and coming electronic artists like Crystal Skies, Jason Ross, MitiS, Trivecta, Wooli and others as well as collaborate with other greats in the game such as Above and Beyond, Dabin, SLANDER, NGHTMRE and Gryffin. Ophelia Volume 1 is a collection of many of the singles released by 7L over the last two years and is quite the gripping burst of excitement and emotions. This compilation album shows off what is 7L’s best musical attributes. His diversity in sound, effortlessly switching between many subgenres, including Trance, Future Bass, Dubstep, Drum and Bass, from song to song, sometimes making a switch within a single song. The other aspect is 7L’s deliberate and effective use of dead space to create a moment of floating before a bellowing drops knocks your ass back down to earth. His pockets of tranquility make these tracks more living and breathing forms of passion and sentiment than normally associated with the mechanical genre.

Proof: Start Again (Feat. Fiora) / Ocean (w/ Jason Foss Feat. Jonathan Mendelsohn) / First Time (w/ SLANDER & Dabin Feat. Dylan Matthew) / Dreamin’ (Feat. Fiora) // Bonus: See The End (w/ Above & Beyond Feat. Opposite The Other)

15. Gallant - Sweet Insomnia Genre: alt-R&B / Soul

The soulful and sultry vocals of Gallant return with another steamy alt-R&B soiree. The overall vibe is a bit more mellow than his thunderous 2016 debut Ology. The main driving force is still the forceful emotion driven vocals from the American singer. R&B has been a genre pulled into various directions over the last 8 or so years, sometimes for good, sometimes at it’s detriment. Gallant and his potent falsetto is a nostalgic artist in 2019 pointing to the late 90’s, early 2000’s neo-soul movement. Fans of artists like Musiq Soulchild, Maxwell, Raheem Devaughn and of course D’Angelo will get some warm feelings from Gallant’s seductive grooves.

Proof: Crimes / Hurt / Compromise (Feat. Sabrina Claudio) / Céline

14. G Flip - About Us Genre: Pop

Melbourne multi-instrumentalist and singer Georgia Flipo, or G-Flip, introduces herself with this tender and moving debut. About Us is sort of an autobiographical story about Georgia and her girlfriend over a five year span that includes a break up and eventually make up. Georgia’s vocals are both commanding and approachable. The song writing is effortlessly relatable and potent in the life of love. Georgia would write most of the instrument riffs and have others play it during recording but the most unsung hero is her command of the instrument she first learn and played herself; the drums. The emotional impact and intensity of these songs all get magnified in the later stages when Georgia grabs the sticks and begins going to town. About Us is both a subtle piece of pop yet also a cinematic and emotionally captivating one.

Proof: Lover / I Am Not Afraid / Morning / About You

13. Becky Hill - Get To Know Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic / Dance

After being a semi-finalist on The Voice UK, the potent and soulful vocals of UK singer Becky Hill has become a go-to feature in the European house world. Becky’s commanding voice is a perfect compliment to house production to not be overpowered and bring a level of vivacity and vitality to the composition. Get To Know is a compilation of those features and one-off singles from the last three years to get more people familiar with Becky as she takes more creative control of her solo career. I’m expecting much more to come from the singer in 2020; so keep an eye and both ears out.

Proof: I Could Get Used To This (w/ Weiss) / Piece of Me (w/ MK) / Sunrise in the East / False Alarm (w/ Matoma)

12. BANKS - III Genre: alt-R&B / Pop

On her third album, singer BANKS is showing off an impressive increase in prowess and courage in her music. Although, I still really enjoyed BANKS sophomore album The Altar, there were some growing pains visible in it. III on the other hand comes out much more competent, coherent and confident. The noticeable addition of Hudson Mohawke’s production and influence is one of the most noticeable additions. His powerful distorted synthed-out drums gives quite a thunderous backdrop for BANKS sultry vocals to sway back and forth through. The song writing has notably continued to get even better for someone that already had quite the skill at. I’ve followed BANKS since she only had a couple songs out on SoundCloud and the journey has been quite a rewarding one for us fans.

Proof: Gimme / Look What You’re Doing To Me (Feat. Francis & The Lights) / Propaganda / The Fall

11. Gryffin* - Gravity Genre: Electronic / Dance

Success has come rapidly for Gryffin, releasing his first original song only four years ago. Despite that short time, there is a level of sophistication to Gryffin’s blending of house and pop music that feels like the work of a veteran. It helps he has really filled up his phone contacts with some of today’s top Electronic producers and rising pop singers to collaborate with. Gryffin’s debut is quite a reflective and illuminating galaxy of deep emotions and expression. Every song on Gravity has identifiable passion and sentiments while enclosed in a glitzy exterior; feelings with strobe lights. It’s been over two years since the first song from this album “Nobody Compares to You” was released showing Gryffin has the ability to make us really feel emotions while also bust out dancing. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go have a good cry in the club.

Proof: All You Need To Know (w/ SLANDER Feat. Calle Lehmann) / Baggage (w/ Gorgon City & AlunaGeorge) / Hurt People (w/ Aloe Blacc) / Nothing Compares To You (Feat. Katie Pearlman)

10. Maggie Rogers - Heard It In A Past Life Genre: Pop

A chance encounter with Pharrell that went viral was what started Maggie’s career, but she took her time with this debut to make sure that one video wasn’t all that defines it. Heard It In A Past Life is a subtle flex of the new singer’s musical dexterity. On the surface the tracks all flow at a mellow cohesive pace. Maggie’s soft and sensual vocals are the first thing you appreciate when listening. When you give a little deeper of a dive you realize the strong themes Maggie is conveying as well as a sophisticated diversity in her sound that’s more than originally meets the ear.

Proof: Give A Little / The Knife / Alaska / Say It / On + Off // Bonus: Love You For A Long Time

9. Nick Murphy - Run Fast Sleep Naked Genre: Indie Pop / Electronic

On his second release (first full length album) since changing his name from Chet Faker to his real name Nick Murphy, the Australian artist has some new tricks up his sleeve. Run Fast Sleep Naked is a more expansive sound then his Chet Faker beginnings and we are all quite rewarded by it. The subtle Synth-Indie pop melding is still present. But there always was a form of restraint in his early work that Nick has seemed to let go more of here allowing his emotion to burst out at key moments a bit unfiltered and untethered.

Proof: Harry Takes Drugs On The Weekend / Sanity / Yeah I Care / Never No / Dangerous

8. Madeon - Good Faith Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop / Dance

2019 has been an interesting year of growth for EDM. With artists like Big Wild, ILLENIUM, Goldroom, GRiZ, Flux Pavilion and others showing some added depth, discovery and diversity in their sounds. That is continued here with Madeon’s four years in the making follow up to his 2015 debut album Adventure. His first album was quite a glorious introduction but very steeped in the bold and at times lumbering mechanical nature of Electronic music, but with this follow up there is a dramatic divergence. Good Faith is quite a romp through R&B, Gospel and Funk influenced synth wonderlands meant to inspire souls and entice movement. The French producer created a lush world to wonder around, despite being Electronic music, that is devoid of any plasticity for organic and visual expression. The closing two minutes are completely devoid of vocals, yet still packs a powerful emotional punch, leaving you wanting to instantly hit replay.

Proof: Dreams Dreams Dreams / All My Friends / Nirvana / No Fear No More / Borealis

7. Tyler, The Creator - IGOR Genre: alt-R&B / Hip Hop

After a frustrating start to his career I saw some of the promise in Tyler, The Creator come to life on his 2015 third album Cherry Bomb. By 2017 Tyler had found his sweet spot with the marvelous Flower Boy. Being someone always eager to learn and grow on his craft, Tyler didn’t remain in that sweet spot, instead abruptly left it in his rearview mirror for his follow up in the daring IGOR. Long gone are the low-fi, abrasive hip hop vernacular of Bastard, Goblin and Wolf here. Instead, Tyler created a unique and colliding world of R&B, Hip Hop, Funk and Synth-Pop. Further showing his evolution Tyler tells a heartfelt story across the album of a man, Tyler, dating another man, who’s also dating his ex-girlfriend. When Tyler tells his feelings for his lover, which results in him starting to drift back to his ex-girlfriend, leading to heartbreak for Tyler. The character Igor represents the negative tendencies of Tyler, as his heart is broken and begins to take over throughout the album’s duration. Coming out the other side the album ends with sadness, but still with a level of hope that I’m sure anybody can relate to who’s had their heart broken.

Proof: IGOR’S THEME (Feat. Lil Uzi Vert) / EARFQUAKE (Feat. Playboy Carti & Charli Wilson) / I THINK (Feat. Solange & Ryan Betty) / A BOY IS A GUN* / WHAT’S GOOD (Feat. Slowthai)

6. SebastiAn - Thirst Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop

8 years after his debut album, the French producer is ready to step out from the background again with this thrilling collection of bold electronic pop. Known best to the general for working with Frank Ocean on his Endless album (and being the voice on “Facebook Story” on Blonde), SebastiAn has also worked extensively with Daft Punk, Kavinsky, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Beastie Boys, Block Party and others over the years. Thirst is a wild ride in a dark dystopian pop landscape that has a tough exterior but a tender interior. The features from pop and R&B are expertly placed among the distorted and thunderous production. The industrial feel may seem a bit artificial at first, but there is an organic heartbeat under the mechanical exoskeleton worth exploring.

Proof: Doorman (Feat. Syd) / Better Now (Feat. Mayer Hawthorne) / Pleasant (Feat. Charlotte Gainsbourg) / Sober (Feat. Bakar) / Run for Me (Feat. Gallant)

5. Khalid - Free Spirit Genre: Pop / R&B / Soul

I gushed on both my last two year lists about Khalid with his debut album and last year’s EP; all that is still very much relevant in 2019. Khalid is one of today’s top young talents. His evocative voice can fit into so many different environments. Straight Pop, R&B, Hip Hop, Country, EDM, Rock, Khalid’s voice is quite the emotive chameleon. His own albums are a bit more straightforward pop and R&B that with every release keeps getting more polished and evolved with his songwriting. Already at 21 the singer has become a go-to for album features and movie soundtracks; I don’t expect this to change for quite some time.

Proof: Better / Talk / Right Back / Outta My Head (w/ John Mayer) / Twenty One

4. Big Wild - Superdream Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic / Dance

To many fans of the EDM scene Big Wild has been well known before his debut album dropped. The producer was one the first signees to ODESZA’s label after dropping multiple great remixes. His debut EP last year only increased his notoriety. What we didn’t know if he had a different plan for his sound that would be introduced to the world on this sneaky debut full length. Superdream still has plenty of his EDM beginnings throughout but interwoven in a much more complex package then we anticipated. Notes of 70’s/80’s pop to 90’s R&B make a surprisingly profound presence dancing through the intersecting synths and drums. Big Wild sings more than he ever has in a soft hushed tone that glides his bold production so smoothly. The Electronic genre is in the middle of quite a renaissance currently and yet more creative artists like Big Wild keep showing up and taking the sound to new directions we haven’t seen before.

Proof: Joypunks / 6’s to 9’s (Feat. Rationale) / No Words / Maker / She Makes Magic

3. ILLENIUM* - ASCEND Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

Denver DJ ILLENIUM found quite a sweet spot on his 2017 sophomore album, Awake, with his euphoric electronic music. Anybody who claims EDM is all plasticity without emotion that other music genres can evoke, I dare you to listen to Awake and not feel the raw human emotion bursting with every dramatic drop. However, Nicolas Miller was not complacent and has expanded his sound in 2019. Taking some inspiration no doubt from the late great Avicii, there’s plenty of experimenting with genres both externally and internally to the EDM landscape. With great ease, effort care and skill the tracks maneuver from Pop/Future Bass to House to Trance, to R&B to Country/Rock to Dubstep. The emotions continue to be the driver with tracks about love, heartbreak, feeling lost and even Miller’s opening up about his past issues with drug abuse. The Jon Bellion assisted “Good Things Fall Apart” and Chainsmokers partnered “Takeaway” are the tracks most people go in knowing, but powerful tracks like the lightning bolt opener “Hold On” to the Rock/Dubstep powerhouse of “Pray” to the R&B Ear drum slapper that's “Gorgeous” steal the listeners attention through this whirlwind of melodic feels.

Proof: Hold On (w/ Georgia Ku) / Good Things Fall Apart (w/ Jon Bellion) / Pray (Feat. Kameron Alexander) / Gorgeous (w/ Bipolar Sunshine & Blanke) / Lonely (w/ Chandler Leighton) // Bonus: Ekali & ILLENIUM - Hard To Say Goodbye (Feat. Chloe Angelides)

2. Nilüfer Yanya* - Miss Universe Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative / R&B

It could be too easy to take Nilüfer Yanya’s sensual music for granted, but those that pay close attention are very much rewarded. Her subtle and mellow melodies can slip into the background but by the time her infectious choruses hit you may find your shoulders swaying and feet tapping without thinking about it. The UK Born new artist has such an effortless feel to her genre melding sound of soul and indie pop. Her unique, raspy voice among the groovy, plucky guitar riffs has an ability to relay emotions while also keeping a veil of mystery. Miss Universe is probably 2019’s most consistent record, no song is out of place in this whole strong debut album.

Proof: In Your Head / Paralysed / Angels / Tears / Heavyweight Champion of the Year

1. Labrinth - Imagination & the Misfit Kid Genre: Pop / alt-R&B

Sometimes it takes some time to find your comfortably and inspiration. English singer Labrinth’s debut album was released over seven years ago. In the time since the powerful voice, proficient productions or potent pen of the singer would pop up here and there with one-off singles, song features ("Losers” with The Weeknd off Beauty Behind The Madness was one great one), production or writer credits. 2019 though was quite the change in pace. The marathon of a year started with forming the supergroup and dropping the debut album of LSD with Sia and Diplo. Labrinth then was the lead composer on the music score for one of the year's best new shows on HBO’s “Euphoria”. This all was cultivated with this magnificent and expressive sophomore effort. Imagination & the Misfit Kid is a layered project of the many influences Labrinth has picked up over his lifetime packaged together in something innovative yet also familiar. On the surface the music is pretty crowd pleasing pop but when dissected more there's rich notes of music genres colliding including R&B, Gospel, Blues, UK Hip Hop and Electronic ingredients. The production is its own cunning beast, at times it is muted and let’s the great voice of Labrinth take the reins, only to come thundering in to smack you in the temple. There’s an obvious cinematic theme carried through in the songs that is driven home with the song titles and short skits. Labrinth is tapping into your ears while making a visual art piece. One you’re meant to close your eyes and let the melodies and lyrics help you visualize. “Can’t tell me the world don’t mind, a miracle.”

Proof: Miracle / Dotted Line / All For Us (w/ Zendaya) / Something’s Got To Give / Where The Wild Things Are / Oblivion (Feat. Sia) // Bonus: Don’t Fence Me In

Others:

Good: Aaron Aye - F.E.A.R., Ada Lea - what we say in private, Africa Express - EGOL, AJ Tracey - AJ Tracey, AKON - Akonda, The Alchemist - Yacht Rock 2, Aldous Harding - Designer, Alex Cameron - Miami Memory, Algee Smith - atl, Alice Merton - Mint, Allen Stone - Building Balance, Allie X - Super Sunset (Analog), The Amazons - Future Dust, Andrew Combs - Ideal Man, Angel Olsen - All Mirrors, Angie Stone - Full Circle, Ann Marie - Pretty Psycho, Anna Wise - As If It Were Forever, Ardalan - Mr. Good, Ari Lennox - Shea Butter Baby, Ariana Grande - thank u, next, Armin van Buuren - Balance, A$AP Ferg - Floor Seats, Asiahn - Love Train 2, Audien - Escapism, AURORA - A Different Kind of Human, avery r. young - tubman., Avicii - TIM, A1 - Turbulence, Baby Rose - To Myself, Bad Bunny - X 100PRE, Barrie - Happy to Be Here, Bastille - Doom Days, Bat For Lashes - Lost Girls, Bazzi - Soul Searching, Beast Coast - Escape from New York, Beck - Hyperspace, Becky G. - MALA SANTA, Beirut - Gallipoli, Berhana - HAN, Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center, Betty Who - Betty, Beyoncé - The Lion King: The Gift [Music Inspired by the Motion Picture], Big K.R.I.T. - K.R.I.T. IZ HERE, Big K.R.I.T. - TDT, Big Thief - Two Hands, Big Thief - U.F.O.F., Black Belt Eagle Scout - At The Party With My Brown Friends, The Black Keys - “Let’s Rock”, Black Milk - DiVE, bLAck pARty - Endless Summer, blackbear - ANONYMOUS, Blaq Tuxedo - Blaq Tuxedo, Blaqk Audio - Only Things We Love, Blasterjaxx - Perspective, Bleached - Don’t You Think You’ve Had Enough?, Blood Orange - Angel’s Pulse [Mixtape], Blu & Oh No - A Long Red Hot Los Angeles Summer Night, Boogie - Everything’s for Sale, Boy Harsher - Careful, Boy Harsher - Country Girl Uncut, Boy Scouts - Free Company, Brittany Howard - Jaime, BROCKHAMPTON - GINGER, Broods - Don’t Feed The Pop Monster, Brother Ali - Secrets & Escape, Bun B & Statik Selektah - TrillStatik [Mixtape], Burna Boy - African Giant, Busy Signal - Parts of the Puzzle, Caamp - By and By, Cage The Elephant - Social Cues, Camila Cabello - Romance, Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated, Caroline Polacheck - PANG, Casey Veggies - Organic, Casey Veggies & Rockie Fresh - Fresh Veggies [Mixtape], Cashmere Cat - PRINCESS CATGIRL, Cassius - Dreems, Catching Flies - Silver Linings, Cehryl - Slow Motion, The Chainsmokers - World War Joy, Charly Bliss - Young Enough, Chase & Status - RTRN II JUNGLE, Chelsea Wolfe - Birth of Violence, The Chemical Brothers - No Geography, Cherry Glazer - Stuffed & Ready, Childish Major - Dirt Road Diamond, Chinatown Slalom - Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, Choosey & Exile - Black Beans, Chris Brown - Indigo, Chris Lorenzo - Late Checkout, Chris Staples - Holy Moly, Chromatics - Closer To Grey, Ciara - Beauty Marks, Cigarettes After Sex - Cry, City and Colour - A Pill for Loneliness, Citizen Cope - Heroin and Helicopters, Clairmont The Second - The Second’s Do You Drive?, Clairo - Immunity, clipping. - There Existed an Addiction to Blood, Cold War Kids - New Age Norms 1, Coldplay - Everyday Life, Collie Buddz - Hybrid, Common - Let Love, Cross Record - Cross Record, Crumb - Jinx, Crystal Fighters - Gaia & Friends, Cuco - Para Mi, Curren$y & Statik Selektah - Gran Turismo, CZARFACE & Ghostface Killa - Czarface Meets Ghostface, DaBaby - KIRK, Damar Jackson - U2, Dame D.O.L.L.A. - Big D.O.L.L.A., Danny Brown - uknowhatimsaying¿, Dave East - Survival, David B - BLEU, Dawn Richard - New Breed, Deadmau5 - here’s the drop, Deadmau5 - Polar (Music from the Netflix Film), Deaton Chris Anthony - BO Y, Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?, Delta Heavy - Only In My Dreams, Dermot Kennedy* - Dermot Kennedy, Devin Morrison - Bussin’, DIIV - Deceiver, Dillon Francis - Magic Is Real [Mixtape], Dizzy Fae - NO GMO [Mixtape], DJ Khaled - Father of Asahd, DJ Shadow - Our Pathetic Age, DJ Snake - Carte Blanche, Doja Cat - Hot Pink, Dope Lemon - Smooth Big Cat, Dounia - THE SCANDAL, Drake - Care Package, Drax Project - Drax Project, Dreamville & J. Cole - Return of the Dreamers III, Dreezy - Big Dreez, DROELOE* - A Promise Is Made, The Drums - Brutalism, DUCKWRTH - THE FALLING MAN, Earl Sweatshirt - FEET OF CLAY, EARTHGANG - Mirrorland, Ed Sheeran - No. 6 Collaborations Project, Electric Guest - KIN, Electric Youth - Memory Emotion, ELHAE - Trouble In Paradise, Elle Varner - Ellevation, Emeli Sandé - REAL LIFE, Emmavie - Honeymoon, Emily Wells - The World Is Too ___ For You, Eric Bellinger - Cuffing Season 3, Eric Bellinger - Saved by the Bellinger [Mixtape], Eric Bellinger - The Rebirth 2, E-40 - Practice Makes Paper, Fabolous - Summertime Shoot 3: Coldest Summer Ever [Mixtape], The Faint - Egowerk, Fantasia - Sketchbook, FEELS - Post Earth, FIDLAR - Almost Free, Fitz & The Tantrums - All The Feels, FKA twigs - MAGDALENE, The Flaming Lips - The King’s Mouth: Music and Songs, Flume - Hi This Is Flume [Mixtape], Flying Lotus - Flamagra, Frances Cone - Late Riser, Frankie Cosmos - Close It Quietly, Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - Bandana, FRENSHIP* - Vacation, Freya Ridings - Freya Ridings, Friendly Fires - Inflorescent, Froth - Duress, The Game - Born 2 Rap, Gang Starr - One of the Best Yet, GASHI - GASHI, Gary Clark Jr. - This Land, Gena Rose Bruce - Can’t Make You Love Me, Gesaffelstein - Hyperion, The Get Up Kids - Problems, Giggs - BIG BAD…, girlpool - What Chaos Is Imaginary, The Glorious Sons - A War on Everything, gnash - we, Goo Goo Dolls - Miracle Pill, grandson - a modern tragedy vol. 3, GRiZ - Ride Waves, GTA - La Nueva Clásica (Remixes), Gus Dapperton - Where Polly People Go to Read, HÆLOS - Any Random Kindness, half●alive - Now, Not Yet, , Hatchie - Keepsake, Hayden James - Between Us, Hayden James - Between Us (Remixes), The Head and the Heart - Living Mirage, Headie One - Music x Road [Mixtape], Helado Negro - This Is How You Smile, Hermitude - Pollyanarchy, Hibou - Haive, Higher Brothers - Five Stars, Hobo Johnson - The Fall of Hobo Johnson, Holly Herndon - PROTO, Hoodie Allen - Whatever USA, Hot Chip - A Bath Full of Ecstasy, Ida Mae - Chasing Light, IDER - Emotional Education, IDK - Is He Real?, Iggy Azalea - In My Defense, India.Arie - Worthy, Ingrid Michaelson - Stranger Songs, Injury Reserve - Injury Reserve, Intellexual - Intellexual, Isaac Dunbar - balloons don’t float here, Isabella - 12 Angels, J Balvin & Bad Bunny - OASIS, Jack & Jack - A Good Friend Is Nice, JackLNDN - Thoughts, Jacob Latimore - Connection2, Jacquees - King of R&B, Jacques Greene - Dawn Chorus, Jade Bird - Jade Bird, Jai Wolf - The Cure To Loneliness, Jamie Cullum - Taller, James Blunt - Once Upon A Mind, Jamila Woods - LEGACY! LEGACY!, The Japanese House - Good At Falling, Jax Jones - Snacks, Jay Som - Anak Ko, Jayda G - Significant Changes, Jaden - ERYS, JAY1 - One Wave, Jenny Hval - The Practice of Love, Jenny Lewis - On The Line, J-E-T-S - Zoospa, Jidenna - 85 to Africa, Joell Ortiz - Monday, Johnny Gill - Game Changer II, JOHNNYSWIM - Moonlight, JOHKOY - 404, Jonas Brothers - Happiness Begins, Jordan Rakei - Origin, Joseph - Good Luck, Kid, Josephine Wiggs - We Fall, JPEGMAFIA - All My Heroes Are Cornballs, The Juan MacLean - The Brighter Light, Judah & The Lion - Pep Talks, Juice WRLD - Death Race for Love, Julian - Sydney, Juls - Colour, KAINA - Next to the Sun, Kanye West - JESUS IS KING, Karnaval Blues - You Come With the Rain, Kash Doll - Stacked, Kaskade - Redux 003, KÁRYYN - The Quanta Series, Kayzo - Unleashed, Keane - Cause and Effect, Kelsey Lu - Blood, Kemba - Gilda, Kembe X - I Was Depressed Until I Made This, Kerli - Shadow Works, Kevin Gates - I’m Him, Kevin George - My Darlings a Demon, Kevin Morby - Oh My God, K.Flay - Solutions, Kindness* - Something Like a War, King Princess - Cheap Queen, Kishi Bashi - Omoiyari, Ladytron - Ladytron, Lafawndah - Ancestor Boy, Larry June - Out the Trunk [Mixtape], The Lemonheads - Varshons 2, Lexie Liu - 2030, Liam Gallagher - Why Me? Why Not, LICK - Dark Vibe Order, Lil Skies - Shelby, Lissie - When I’m Alone: The Piano Retrospective, Little Brother - May The Lord Watch, Local Natives - Violet Street, Logic - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Lolo Zouaï - High Highs to Low Lows, Lost Frequencies - Alive and Feeling Fine, Louis Futon - Way Back When, Loyle Carner - Not Waving, But Drowning, LSD - Labrinth, Sia & Diplo Presents… LSD, Lucky Daye - Painted, Lucy Rose - No Words Left, Luh Kel - Mixed Emotions, The Lumineers - III, LV - Xcited, Lyfe Jennings - 777, Mac Ayers - Juicebox, Mac DeMarco - Here Comes the Cowboy, Mahalia - Love and Compromise, Malibu Ken (Aesop Rock & TOBACCO) - Malibu Ken, Manatee Commune* - PDA, Mansionair - Shadowboxer, Marc E. Bassy - PMD, Maren Morris - GIRL, Maribou State - Kingdoms in Color Remixed, Marika Hackman - Any Human Friend, MARINA - LOVE + FEAR, MarMar Oso - Oso Different, Marshmello - Joytime III, Matt Maeson - Bank on the Funeral, MED & Guilty Simpson - Child of the Jungle, Meg Mac - Hope, Megan Thee Stallion - Fever, Melii - phAses, Men I Trust - Oncle Jazz, Mereba - The Jungle Is The Only Way Out, Mermaidens - Look Me in the Eye, Michael Kiwanuka - KIWANUKA, MIKA - My Name Is Michael Holbrook, MIKE - Tears of Joy, Mike Posner - Keep Going [Mixtape], Mike Posner - A Real Good Kid, Milky Chance - Mind the Moon, Mr. Carmack - Demolish [Mixtape], Mr. Carmack - Viista, Mr Hudson - WHEN THE MACHINE STOP, Mndsgn - Snaxx, Moksi - The Return of House Music, Montell Jordan - Masterpiece, Moon Boots - Bimini Road, Moon Duo - Stars Are the Light, Moonchild - Little Ghost, Murs & 9th Wonder - Brighter Daze, Murs, 9th Wonder & The Soul Collective - The Iliad is Dead and the Odyssey is Over, Mustard - Perfect Ten, Nao Yoshioka - Undeniable, Nas - The Lost Tapes 2, Nathan Bajar - playroom, The National - I Am Easy to Find, Necking - Cut Your Teeth, The New Pornographers - In the Morse Code of Brake Lights, NF - The Search, Nick Catchdubs - Ufo, Nicole Bus - Kairos, Nina Nesbitt - The Sun Will Come Up, The Seasons Will Change, Noah Kahan - Busyhead, Norah Jones - Begin Again, Obie Trice - The Fifth, Octavian - Endorphins, Of Monsters and Men - FEVER DREAM, Offset - Father of Four, Oliver Dion - Exposed, Olivia O’Brien - Was It Even Real?, Panda Bear - Buoys, Patoranking - Wilmer, Pete Tong & HERO - Chilled Classics, Pete Yorn - Caretakers, Petit Biscuit* - We Were Young (The Playlist), P!nk - Hurts 2B Human, Pixies - Beneath the Eyrie, PJ Morton - PAUL, Plaid - Polymer, P-LO - SHINE, PnB Rock - TrapStar Turnt PopStar, Pond - Tasmania, Post Malone - Hollywood’s Bleeding, Priests - The Seduction of Kansas, Prince - Originals, PUP - Morbid Stuff, Quelled Chris - Guns, R.LUM.R. - Surfacing, Ra Ra Riot - Superbloom, The Raconteurs - Help Us Stranger, Raphael Saadiq - Jimmy Lee, Ras Kass - Soul on Ice 2, Rat Boy - International Unknown, Raveena - Lucid, Reese LaFlare - Final Fantasy, The Regrettes - How Do You Love?, Reptaliens - VALIS, Rex Orange County - Pony, Rich Brian - The Sailor, Rich The Kid - The World Is Yours 2, Rico Nasty & Kenny Beats - Anger Management, Rhi - The Pale Queen, Rhye - Spirit, Rockie Fresh - Destination, Rudimental - Test Our Differences, RÜFÜS DU SOL - Solace Remixes, RY X - Unfurl, Sabrina Carpenter - Singular Act II, SAFE - STAY, Said The Whale - Cascadia, SAINt JHN - Ghetto Lenny’s Love Songs, St. Lucia - Remixed, Sammie - Everlasting, Sampa The Great - The Return, San Fermin - The Cormorant I, (Sandy) Alex G - House of Sugar, Santana - Africa Speaks, Santi - Mandy & The Jungle, Sara Bareilles - Amidst the Chaos, SASAMI - SASAMI, ScHoolboy Q - CrasH Talk, Seasons - American Authors, Set It Off - Midnight, Set Mo - Surrender, Shafiq Husayn - The Loop, Shari Marie - Reflection LP, Sharon Van Etten - Remind Me Tomorrow, Sheer Mag - A Distant Call, Shlohmo - The End, Shy Girls - Bird on the Wing, Silversun Pickups - Widow’s Weeds, Sinead Harnett - Lessons in Love, SiR - Chasing Summer, sir Was - Holding On To A Dream, Skepta - Ignorance Is Bliss, The Script - Sunset & Full Moons, Sleater-Kinney - The Center Won’t Hold, Sleeping With Sirens - How It Feels to Be Lost, slowthai - Nothing Great About Britain, Slum Village - The Source, Smif-N-Wessun - The All, Snail Mail - Habit, Snake City - Hurts, SNBRN - Solé, Snoh Aalgra - Ugh, those feels again, Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Thank Me, Snow Patrol - Reworked, SOAK - Grim Town, SOB X RBE & Hit-Boy - Family Not a Group, Solange - When I Get Home, Somos - Prison On A Hill, SonReal - The Aaron LP, StayLoose - The City, Stef Chura - Midnight, Steve Lacy - Apollo XXI, Stirgull Simpson - SOUND & FURY, Styles P - S.P. The Goat: Ghost of All Time, Sudan Archives - Athena, Sui Zhen - Losing Linda, Summer Walker - Over It, SYML - SYML, The Tallest Man On Earth - I Love You, Talos - Far Out Dust, Tank - ELEVATION, Tank and the Bangas - Green Balloon, Tayla Parx - We Need To Talk, Taylor Swift - Lover, Tech N9ne - N9na, Tegan and Sara - Hey, I’m Just Like You, TENDER - Fear of Falling Asleep, Terri Lyne Carrington & Social Science - Waiting Game, Terror Jr - Unfortunately, Terror Jr, Ti��sto - Together, Tinashe - Songs For You, Tink - Voicemails, The-Dream - Menage a Trois: Sextape Vol. 1,2&3, Thees Handz (The Grouch & Murs) - Thees Handz, Thom Yorke - ANIMA, T-Pain - 1UP, TOBi - STILL, Tom Walker - What A Time To Be Alive, Tora - Can’t Buy the Mood, Toro y Moi - Outer Peace, Tory Lanez - International Fargo [Mixtape], Tourist - Wild, Tove Lo - Sunshine Kitty, Trae tha Truth - Exhale, Travis Thompson - Reckless Endangerment, Trevor Jackson - Rough Draft 2, Trina - The One, Tritonal - U & Me, Tropical Fuck Storm - Braindrops, Tuxedo - Tuxedo III, Two Door Cinema Club - False Alarm, Tycho - Weather, Tyla Yaweh - Heart Full of Rage, Vagabon - Vagabon, Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Onward to Zion, Various Artists - DEATH STRANDING: Timefall (Original Music from the World of Death Stranding), Various Artists - For The Throne (Music Inspired by the HBO Series Game of Thrones), Various Artists - Music Inspired by the Film Roma, Various Artists - 13 Reasons Why (Season 3) [Music Inspired by the Netflix Series], Velvet Negroni - NEON BROWN, Wale - Wow... That’s Crazy, Walk Off The Earth - HERE WE GO!, Wallows - Nothing Happens, Walshy Fire - Walshy Fire Presents: ABENG, Wand - Laughing Matter, Weezer - Weezer (The Teal Album), Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising, Wilco - Ode to Joy, Wild Belle - Everybody One of a Kind, William Black* - Pages, Willow - Willow, Whitney - Forever Turned Around, Wretch 32 - Upon Reflection, X Ambassadors - ORION, Xavier Omär & Sango - Moments Spent Loving You, YACHT - Chain Tipping, YBN Cordae - The Lost Boy, Yeasayer - Erotic Reruns, Yeek - IDK WHERE, YG - 4REAL 4REAL, Yhung T.O. - On My Momma 2, Yuna - Rouge, Zilo - Gorgeous, Zo! - FourFront, 2 Chainz - Rap or Go to the League, 93PUNX - 93PUNX, !!! - Wallop

Meh: A Boogie wit da Hoodie - Hoodie SZN, Above & Beyond - Flow State, The Avett Brothers - Closer Than Together, Belle & Sebatian - Days of the Bangold, Berner - El Chivo, Birdman & Juvenile - Just Another Gangsta, Blank Mass - Animated Violence Mild, Calboy - Wildboy, Casanova - Behind These Scars, Conway The Machine - Look What I Became, Cousin Stizz - Trying to Find My Next Thrill, DREAMERS - LAUNCH FLY LAND, DJ Muggs & Mach - Hommy: Tuez-Les Tous, Future - Future Hndrexx Presents: The WZRD, G&D - Black Love & War, Ghostface Killah - Ghostface Killahs, Gucci Mane - Delusions of Grandeur, HTRK - Venus in Leo, Jezzy - TM104: The Legend of the Snowman, Kenny Garrett - Hoax, Lighthouse Family - Blue Sky in Your Head, Lil Peep - EVERYBODY’S EVERYTHING, Lillie Mae - Other Girls, Logic - Supermarket, Lower Dens - The Competition, Machine Gun Kelly - Hotel Diablo, Night Lovell - GOODNIGHT LOVELL, Pi’erre Bourne & Cardo Got Wings - Pi’erre & Cardo’s WIld Adventure [Mixtape], Quality Control - Control The Streets Volume 2, Rick Ross - Port of Miami 2, Rod Wave - PTSD, Shy Glizzy - Covered N Blood, Spellling - Mazy Fly, Tee Grizzley - Scriptures, Twin Peaks - Lookout Low, Tyga - Legendary, Wifisfuneral - Ethernet 2, Wiz Khalifa & Curren$y - 2009, 03 Greedo - Still Summer in the Projects

Naw: Black midi - Schlagenheim, KEY! - SO EMOTIONAL, Microwave - Death is a Warm Blanket, Nef The Pharaoh - Mushrooms & Coloring Books, Scarlxrd - INFINITY, Ugly God - Bumps & Bruises, Weezer - Weezer (The Black Album), Westside Gunn - Flygod is an Awesome God, Yung Gravy - Sensational, Zheani - The Line Censored

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