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menalez · 8 months

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Your anon who said about her LGB friends looking back at when they were kids, and they dressed gnc so their parents knew - I'm wondering whether a factor of that is more to do with fashion for kids has changed.

I grew up in the 90's/2000's and most of my clothes were gnc (only really party clothes weren't). This was normal. If you go further back still to my parents era, this applied even more. We talk about it all the time how 13 year olds now look older and dress older than I ever did. Look at what they've put young celebrities in (eg stranger things cast) compared to young celebrities 20, 30, 50 years ago! Especially with young girls - the hyper sexualisation has gone off the walls. Overalls, sweat pants, jeans have all been replaced by clothing that makes them look twice their age. There was a new Kpop group that debuted recently. The youngest member was 16, and she looked older than me and I'm in my late twenties.

Sure I had friends growing up who were 'super girly' but mostly we all ran around in comfy clothes to roll in the mud in.

hm i agree its even more sexualised now but i disagree that overall young celebrities werent sexualised back then.

brooke shields in the late 1970s:

she was between like 10 and 15 in these pics. i havent shared the worst of it bc u get the idea with these.

natalie portman at 12-13:

u can look up the films leon the professional where she was further sexualised bc i dont wanna share it here either.

britney spears' hit song hit me baby one more time was when she was 16

jodie foster when she was 12 in taxi driver where they cast her as a child prostitute and sexualised her

these are just famous examples but young female celebs have been sexualised since forever and honestly, there was fewer barriers and they were more exploited when it did happen. at least now the media has SOME criticism of it when it happens. in the 2000s and before, male celebs would openly be dating underage girls and the media wouldnt even care for it & would glorify those relationships. 2 of the women i mentioned were cast as child prostitutes and sexualised heavily in the movies that got them known, one was even posing nude in hugh hefner's magazine as a 10 year old. these arent necessarily the worst examples but it shows enough for u to realise this issue was always concerning, just in different ways. comparatively this is millie bobby brown when she was 13:

besides i think when gay ppl say that, theyre referring to themselves as being more gnc than whatever the current gender norms are. i do think femininity nowadays has become even more restrictive compared to the more recent previous decades (which werent necessarily liberating either) tho and i do think a certain level of gender non-conformity was more stylish in certain years

#i think ur thinking of like ashley tisdale and some other disney stars at a specific point in the 2000s but #i feel like that was more of the outlier than girls being sexualised is

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gyahyahyahayhahayahyahyahyahyaha · 1 year

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dreamt that i was a super famous witch that nobody knew a damn thing about but everyone who knew of me was like deathly afraid of me. most of these ppl were so afraid that they would basically blame just about anything bad that happens, big or small, on “the witches curse”

i, however, was simply chilling

just doing all kinds of magic by my self and living my life and having a generally pretty good time, an when i wasnt doing like magic experiments and blowing shit up, i would be engaging in my various hobbies and/or cooking. i had this nice little garden that “culminated” into this very pretty, slanted spiral made entirely out of various grasses and plants. it was all arranged in a very special way that honestly im not sure how id describe, almost like a cylindrical hall of mirrors? anwyays most days id conjure up various instruments amd play then for the plants 🌱 as ime watering or pruning or digging stuff up. i also had a second garden which the plant spiral led to. this one had some plants too, but it was more dedicated more towards the various exchanges ive made with all the random strangers, who ive accidentally encountered at “my mountain”. large floating mass of land that i conjured up and shaped to be my home where i spent most of my time, especially since it was so vast and had such varied environments. anyways the random encounters ive had with ppl were all my fault, due to maybe some curse or perhaps it was this inherent chance that laid within my magic. any spell or conjuration or like literally anything i did that had to do with magic, had a small chance to “summon” complete strangers from anyplace and anytime, usually at the very least one at a time until i send that specific set of ppl back to wherever/whenever they came from.

anywyas so ya like i had these little floating globules allover the place that i grew in my garden (by conjuring up spheres of water, letting plants take root IN the water and then taking some of that water and doing other magic shit withit) that basically served as like those spots in museums where u press the button and a prerecorded voice tells u about whavever ur looking at. i used them and basically had them set up as traps all over the... island cuz ppl would be showinf up whereever and whenever. the trap was simply just bestowing "information about the time, place, where, who and how". again like those museum info buttons with a prerecorded message. i didnt use them unless i felt it was absolutely necessary and like they were about to start some shit or smth. normally at first i would try to ignore them cuz with the entire island being the way it is ( chalk full of vegetation and life, oh we even got a cool lil desert somewhere around. its not too big but not too small. i had sculpted it for the purpose having access to certain desert based plant and animal life for like cooking or reagents or just sliding around the dunes) they could probably survive on their own. i also didnt want to drop whatever inwas doing to go greet thrm cuz half of the time a lot of them would immediately recognize me somehow. one of the few reasons i ever left the island was to try n find the shithead thats spreading rumours about me to the point that most ppl around could tell who i was at first glance as well as having them be as afraid of me as they are. it was annoying tryna deal with that every time so i usually let them do their thing unless i could see they were like causing trouble or they werent gonna make it.

main reason i didnt immediately send them back was cuz i had to make sure i sent them back properly, also like, i wanted to see if i could trace + assess how the rumours were developing so inwould eventually talk to them and show them SOME hospitality. i know it wasnt anyones fault in particular that ppl kept showinf up, but when most ppl who do show up are THAT afraid of u based on some bullshit rumours, dealing with it was just...annoying... after proving thst im not an immediate threat and that the rumours were bullshit(sometimes i WOULD fuck with them cuz i knew they were boutta start some bullshit), i would usually ask them where theyre from and what its like and then try to divine some of the local specialties and cook that for them. then if they liked it id give them a couple samples of the islands local food. we had a LOOOOOT of fucked up and interesting plants growinf here, some was the natural course of things and some of it was by my design and experimentation. of course making sure there were no side effects that i couldnt just magic away was a concern since the local wildlife and my own self wasnt a particularly useful point of reference, given all the fucked up magic bullshit that the island itself and i are always up to.

i dont remember any specific visitors in particular but the way it would usually go is,

they show up whileim doing magic

-> if they arent causing trouble, i leave them alone (even if they were causing trouble i usually had jus tthe right spell to like fuck withthem enough to get them to stop, i usually liked to use enchantments or illusions that like would guide them towards a lake and let them chill out OR i would just fuck with them indirectly or directly until they were ready to like not destroy me n my island)

-> once im done withwhat im doing and like feel like it, i otherwise lead them to my garden/house or some specific location (or i go to them)

-> we do the whole "who are you" song n dance

-> i convince them to talk about where theyre frome

-> i make food or drink for them or let themdo it themselves or ask them to teach me, OR i just figure it out

-> we talk more

-> i learn about the time n place theyre from, they learn that the rumours are more or less bullshit (cuz i mean i guess they COULD be true considering how powerful of a witch i was but yknow, will and intent an all thatbulshit ALSO LIKE IM A FUCKIGN HERMIT WITCH)

-> we exhange info about our various goings on and lifestyles

-> if theyre interested i invite them to make some kind of "tether" that would help not only send them back but also allow them to return if they so wished. i tell them about the garden/shrine (cuz it enshrines all the memories and effects dedicated to our various encounters hehe)

-> tether gets made (and yeah the tether could be just about anything, a scrap of paper, maybe something with something written on it, a sculpture of some kind, something culturally significant to the person in question, knickknacks, or some times they just give me something they were carrying on them at the time. one thing i usually liked to do was trade knives. i would make a knife (sometimes out of pure magic, or i would just fire the smithy up and we'd make it together) for them and i would ask if they wanted to trade and if they didnt id just give them the damn thing anyways. i mean yeah thats what the tether was. it was always an "exchange". the objects exchanged would always serve as the tether. always)_

-> i place the tether in the second garden/museum/shrine of encounters, putting them iin a display case, a hanging rack, or set it up in some way, shape, or form. taking care of these was also a nice way to pass the time.

->using the tether, i send them back if they want to go back immediately or i give them a magic thing that lets them go back whenever they want and let them do whatever, as long as they arent fucing everytihng up

-> i go bakc to enjoying my solitary floating island lifestyle

-> repeat

oh shit i almost compeltely forgot this ones so long lmao

so at some point after like living as described for who knows how many years, i ended up getting "summoned" myself. i was like summoned onto this thing like one of those bird watering fountains but with a magic circle on it

like this but the top was completely flat and thats where the circle was. iw as just like sitting in the fountain and i waslike absolutely fucking astonished, like how could they have done this to ME. how did i not notice it in time to intercept the spell, how couldi have let this happen, etc, etc. i was like on my knees sitting in the fountain and im just thinking how bullshit this all was when i finally noticed ppl circled around me. i was so mad. i think i just like threw large branches at them all or smth. i thinki woke up around then

#dreaj

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elytrafemme · 1 year

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actually im going 2 rephrase. im not against self diagnosis & im happy if my experiences can help other ppl figure things out & im sure im a hypocrite bc even my BPD thing is like... well u werent given a questionnaire and diagnosed professionally so none of the other stuff that went into this realization both on my and my therapists end matters. so its like im sure ppl think that im faking this too and by God i am scared that IM faking this lol.

but what i just get. upset by ig is like... i think bc im in the same shoes but like. sometimes u read info abt mental health disorders & the info is online and meant 2 distill the experience down to be easily understood and ppl are like ok! This Applies To Me bc ultimately every disorder at its basis relates to some kind of human experience it just gets amplified thats all the controversy with the dsm5 etc etc

and i know bc i did that! when i was trying to figure out what was wrong w me (and repressing any part of me that thought it was BPD) i looked into disorders and went Oh Shit Thats Me bc i wasnt looking at testimonials or actual diagnostic info or studies yet i was like. well this summarized version (still from a reputable source or primary source. thats important these arent like random ass websites right) makes sense to Me. i did this with bipolar because i knew i had depressive episodes and i kenw i had periodic hypomanic (which i think at this point is below hypomanic but still some sort of psychological manic response, its complicated i can explain if anyone cares etc) so i was like this is probably it! but when i actually figured out ok how does bipolar affect ppls lives how does it manifest across a WIDE sample i was like oh, no. this doesn’t really make sense at all.

and when u further deconstruct disorders as like... theres so much overlap and sometimes the traits that could be explained by X disorder are better explained by Y disorder bc to an extent these labels are ‘arbitrary’ (not the right word but u get it), you realize like ok. what im worried about IS valid but these arent the explanations.

this is all to say that i get it and im not upset at ppl for being in different stages of realizing that.

i think what upsets me is when i try to articulate 2 people like. here’s my experience w/ this right and its like, already so so hard to articulate bc how do i capture this in a way that doesnt raise alarm but is inherently alarming but without that element of risk it just sounds too abstract? it sounds very much non maladaptive when i try to take out the parts that are really really bad so even trying to explain why i act the way i act is extremely vulnerable. and then bc i cant explain it ppl are like “oh omg i do that too” or they do the far less favored “girl that’s normal” which ppl, actually do say to me.

and i dont like this idea of ‘trauma olympics’ or comparison or whatever but i do think to an extent its important to emphasize that like... a lot of symptoms are really intense versions of what a person may everyday experience heres a BPD related example right. everyone has had times where they are irrationally hating a close friend of theirs. ESPEC if that relationship is already complicated . so whenever i talk about splitting ppl are like no no thats normal or Oh yeah i get it.

but splitting isnt “i have a complex dynamic w a person i have heavy emotional investment with therefore sometimes i really hate them” and splitting isnt “me and my friend have this underlying tension and now i kind of want them dead”. splitting for me is like... i would throw away my entire future for someone bc there is no no way that anything they want could be morally wrong. and then in the next moment i am CONVINCED i have to kill them because they are immoral and deserve to be hunted down because they are manipulative and vile and abusive. and its the same person and this could be an ENTIRE fucking stranger, ive done this with ppl ive known for like. a total of an hour.

so its not like im trying to tell people like no you dont have BPD no you dont split etc. but its hard to say like. you dont get it. bc that makes people want to duouble down right!

but sometimes ppl dont get it. and it sucks bc i feel like im at a place where i HAVE to explain whats going on with me (tho ive resisted telling some ppl thank God) but whenever i do i regret it bc they very clearly do not get it and they’re trying but they like. make jokes about me being “actually a horrible person” or talk about how i need medication and its like. if you listened you would remember why i cant do that but at this point i dont think u listened i think the words went to your ears and you forgot what they all meant at all.

#nightmare.personal #DO NOT RB #long post

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pumpkinsy0 · 2 years

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ok TWO THINGS 1) happy late birthday @minty-bomb this ones for u, baby💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽 2) HAPPY HALLOWEEN :DDD i love halloween and i had to pull this art together in like 7 days, it was hell, pls like it, BUT YEA HERES SOME HCS TOO

•curly loves scream (specially the first movie) and watches it like its the inly entertainment on earth

•this halloween pony planned on just chillin at hom eating candy and watching movies but nope ding dong bitch ur bf wants to hang out🗣🗣

•now curly wasnt gonna b in a ghostface costume and just have his bf in normal clothes SO the plan was to make pony a like victim????

•like a last minute matching costume kinda thing :)))

•so they had to go to curlys house and get his fake blood

•why does he just have it lying around?????he wont say

•so after that the plan was to go to this party and just hang out, BUT soda wasnt gonna let pony go to a party w curly until the late hours without a fight

•fight ended pretty quickly bc pony has blackmail of stevepop in action (shhh they werent out as a couple yet)

•dont worry it was a brotherly joking type of blackmail, ponys not actually gonna tell anyone and soda knew it

•but hey if pony was willing to bring up the photo he must’ve rlly wanted to go so soda just let him go

•OHOH curly wanted to rlly sell his costume and fucking cut a telephone out of this rlly old telephone booth

•nothing of real importance happened at the party sooo TIME SKIP :DD

•now the trick or treaters r out and curly is scaring the poor kids and ponys apologizing for him

•curly kept stealing the bowls of candy ppl left out😭

•sometimes a kid would drop their candy and curly would get to it and the kid would ask for it back only for curly to fucking eat it in front of them and run away

•pony would b lying if he said he didnt take some of the stolen candy curly had

•okok it was a pretty cold halloween and pony was wearing short sleeves and the ghostface costume curly had was rlly fucking long n what not, so curly had his arm wrapped around pony a lot bc he was pretty warm

•curly had this fake knife and at some points he would like pretend hes about to stab pony and pony goes “dont stab me mr ghostface, i wanna be in the sequel :(((“

•OH YEA when pony opened the door for curly, curly went “whats ur favorite scary movie”

•BASICALLY they were just quoting iconic lines from the movie

•this also includes curly scary poor ppl in their houses, knocking on their door and saying “u should never say ‘whos there?’ don’t u watch scary movies???” to them when they ask “whos there”

•just taking absolute advantage of dressing as ghostface

•ok im talking about curly a lot but tbh pony was killing it too

•”hey pon can u pass” “im dead, cant”

•theres a photo somewhere of curly fake choking pony

•as a lil game pony would just b running like he was actually being chased and curly would try to find him

•so basically u would see this pretty boy w fake blood all over him booking it and minutes later theres this kid in a ghostface costume asking if youve seen his bf

finished this shit at 12:05am

#ponyboy curtis #curly shepard #purly #steve randle #sodapop curtis #stevepop #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons #happy halloween #:)#the outsiders fandom #the outsiders fanart #the outsiders art

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pharahlesbian · 4 years

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What are your opinions on aromantic folks?

well, its kind of complicated. on the one hand, i dont rly feel like u guys r doing anything wrong per se, like none of u ever seem to do any of the harmful shit that aces do. and aro is an identity i used to hold really closely. roughly 4-5 years ago, i was on here identifying as aroace.

my personal experience with both labels is that they did measurable harm to my perception of myself and my sexuality. when i did eventually realize i was a lesbian, i didn’t immediately suspect those labels had done me any harm. not until i read several other accounts of ppl who went through a near identical experience as me

see, the answer to your question is complicated bc i first have to address split attraction. its one of my main gripes with asexuality. its my firm belief that romantic and sexual attraction should not be so neatly sequestered the way many people describe them to be. the reality of attraction is that every single person experiences it uniquely and defines it for themselves and themselves alone. i genuinely think the labels “aromantic” and “asexual” and all their variants shouldnt exist at all. and i think they are REGRESSIVE. i really do. they impede progress in a society that desperately needs it. we NEED a more healthy view of sex in our society. we NEED people to understand that its normal and ok to not want sex, or to experience varying degrees of attraction. not wanting sex or romance should be as normal as not wanting your ears pierced. and it should be something you discuss with your partner and your partner alone. having labels for this very normal experience is honestly just setting us back. we dont need to get caught up in a hundred micro labels to describe the ways we have sex. we can just have sex, or dont! or have sex once a month, once a year! or never! and thats your choice and you shouldnt be made to feel like u need to have 5 labels for what should just be how youre feeling. attraction is so nebulous, theres no way we could ever pin it down with labels and we should really stop trying

so. how do i feel about aromantic ppl. well, how do i feel about aromanticism? its a tough conversation to have, because of how personal it is, and its why ive put off this ask for a really long time. i was aroace, yeah, but aro was the label i was really passionate about. im gonna tell you some stuff u might not want to hear, but its my experience.

i was aro because i was lonely, and i was aro because i was scared. i knew i had feelings for girls, but i didnt know how to reconcile them, especially with my burgeoning gender qualms i was also having (which was also happening bc of the aforementioned attraction to girls, but thats another conversation entirely). it was scary, trying to pin down the fact that i was only attracted to girls. and i mightve come to that conclusion a lot sooner if it werent for tumblr telling me about asexuality/aromanticism/split attraction. suddenly i had a copout. cant be attracted to girls if im attracted to no one, right? that plus the fact that when youre lonely and havent experimented with dating, when everything is in hypotheticals, then anything is possible (“well i guess i COULD be attracted to men... but id never have sex with them! so i guess im panro-ace” <-an actual identity i had at age 19. comp het feeds on these micro labels and split attraction)

please keep in mind none of this is directed at you or even aromantics as a whole, im still just talking about my own experience. and my experience was that the aroace label was definitely just a convenient place to hide from being a lesbian. and i know others have had similar experiences.

so...once again. how DO i feel about aromantics? i feel as though we live in a very romance-forward world. romance is everywhere, once youre looking for it. i think i was rather bitter, and preferred pretending that not dating was an identity, rather than the painful reality of firstly not knowing what i wanted, and secondly not even knowing if id BE wanted. i think we all have varying degrees of attraction, both romantic and sexual, and i think for many the two kind of exist in tandem. and again for many, these feelings can exist a lot stronger for them than they do for others. so it leaves a lot of ppl feeling like they MUST be different. i think it makes a lot of sense that i identified strongly with aromanticism, even aside from me using it as something to hide behind. ive never really been much of a romantic. i never had too many crushes, and i only ever imagined romantic scenarios if it were fictional characters i shipped.

of course once i saw someone list these types of things out as evidence of being aro, i was like oh thats me! and latched onto it. and never did anymore introspection. the label was a copout. now, i could tell u that being aroace was a product of knowing i wasnt attracted to men yet not being able to face being attracted to women, so i was like “oh ok guess i have No attraction!” and i can tell u that since ive been with my girlfriend, ive become the sappiest romantic ever.

im not gonna tell you “you just havent found the right person yet :)” but i will say that if you have even the slightest doubt or uncertainty, to go out and experiment! date around and see how you feel. no one can tell you who u are or how u feel except u. u wont be a hypocrite for experimenting. but if youre already sure u dont really feel romantic attraction, then more power to you. not everyone on this earth needs to get married or date. i do think our society needs to normalize just being happy with who you are, and not see it as pitiful. thats an opinion that is so hard to have when youre single, bc u cant help but feel like youre pathetically trying to justify being alone, so im doubling down now that im in a relationship. its fucking ok to not be in a relationship!! if theres one thing that’s stayed the same since i was aro its my assertion that ppl need to fucking chill about orher peoples relationship status

i feel like this answer went in one THOUSAND different directions, but ive been thinking about how to answer this for a while and decided to just word vomit

TL;DR: aromantics are fine, not as harmful as asexuality, you do you, make sure you examime yourself and how you feel often, dont just take the word of ppl on tumblr (me included), everyone experiences attraction differently, i just wish split attraction model didnt exist because its perfectly fine to not want sex/romance or to have low/nonexistent attraction, i just dont believe in the labels/identities.

#ask #sorry if this is absolutely incoherent #aromiiic #ace shit #hoping u wont see this as like Hate Speech but an actual like Conversation #its a weird perspective bc there was a time when thatd be me asking a question like that with an icon like that #i remember always trying to raise awareness of aro stuff in the ace community #these conversations always require lots of nuance and understanding #unfortunately tumblr is usually low on reserves wrt nuance and tact #i always try tho and i always have high hopes that ppl respond in kind

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nvrissa · 5 years

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hello laid ease and furries ( u know who u are )......hahaha....are u ready for this ? zimzalabim ! my name is xan ( she/her pronouns ) and my laptop has been broken for a good 3 years now i have to use an onscreen keyboard so if u see me typing for 20000 years on discord only to send u a single sentence u know whats up x JSDBJWBJW here is the intro....im really winging this no one call me out for that WOOO....tw: medication, mental health, body image ? perhaps just to be safe <3

ok ! so im not gonna talk too much abt family stuff bc yuno and i are doing the collab of the century here and art takes time people ! JSBDJBWDJW but so u get a good idea...i will write a little abt it lets get it

so the kwons were two of the biggest faces in hollywood ( and tbh they are still considered icons / hollywood royalty no matter how old they get they stay #Relevant ) think bradgelina ! literally everyone knows who the kwons if u dont u probably live under a rock /:

their parents are very into the fame thing...so when it came to their kids ( nari and wolfe ) they SUPER pushed the famous life onto them, really expecting both of them to be just as obsessed and enamored by the public. idk if u guys ever say that vid of gigi and bella hadid before they were huge were their mom was pressuring them both to get into modeling and to stay skinny and to be stars etc....it was kinda like that !

so narissa, being the first born, really just internalized that shit...like imagine being told ever since u were a baby that fame and status and ur last name are wildly important and not being able to remember a time when u werent being watched by cameras / a third party ( the public ) bc that was her life ! nari has....no experience as to what life is like without cameras and without having to create this image of herself that ppl are gonna be into

obviously that’s NOT normal....and it had it’s toll on her /: as a kid she grew up so fast like u know those kids that seem so mature and wise for their age ? that was nari. she always had two versions of herself: inside nari vs outside nari. she was so good at being good just bc she knew what stuff to express and what stuff to keep inside ( spoiler alert: most of it was kept in x )

she is still very much desperate to please her parents despite it all /: i feel like for a long time she kinda excepted and agreed that fame is everything ( hence why shes known for using her last name to get her places ) but shes starting to realize just how FUCKED it all is and just how much it’s messed her up so stay tuned for more fun !

ok so career stuff ! nari started off as a child model bc she was um super cute and super good at knowing what to do / not freaking out in front of cameras <3 but she was always obsessed with actors ! she used to sit in front of the tv for hours legit study and memorize ppls mannerisms and various movie lines.. she was literally always just quoting random lines / imitating various actors so often her parents were like ok word go act !

she landed her first role at 12 and it was a pretty huge role as a lead chara in a mini television series that revolved around a cast of kids ( think stranger things but not plot wise just how some of the mains were kids ) with zero acting experience before hand ... so it was pretty clear to the media nari got the spot bc she was a kwon ! there was a bunch of controversy around the show before it came out but once it was released...there was no denying nari had talent

after that it was just a whirlwind of acting doors opening up for her. everyone wanted nari bc of her last name and all the attention that came from it, not to mention every director wanted to be The One that helped narissa kwon become one of the most famous actresses of the 21st century. most of the time she was getting cast for selfish reasons but nari never realized it /: she was just happy to be acting bc it really was like therapy for her to become different ppl

flash forward to age 15 when narissa was finally diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and was prescribed meds to help ! it was actually a director from a movie she was working on that suggested to her parents nari might be struggling after witnessing her have a panic attack on set. not wanting a scandal, her parents agreed it was best to get her “help” which included pills and weekly therapy !

so nari actually didnt mind it too much tbh she HAD been struggling for a while she just assumed her anxiety was normal and just like something all famous ppl were dealing with but that wasnt the case. she was hesitant to open up to her therapist just bc she was still obsessed with this idea of inside nari vs outside nari, and she was very scared to cross that line so it took....years of sessions to build up that trust

as she got older though and as she got more famous, everyone just assumed she was better. she was more famous and loved by the day, she had become a chanel ambassador ( thank u jennie x ), her interviews on youtube always brought in record views, she’d started in plenty of movies critics agreed would become cult classics, her social medias were nearing kardashian level in terms of followers: everything was on track....

....except nari had actually never been more unstable. she had become so dependent on her meds she couldnt go anywhere or talk to anyone without popping a few in. all the watching eyes were starting to make her paranoid, not to mention the pressure from her parents ( who couldn’t be happier with nari being so famous ) was at its all time high. she had been nominated for an oscar at 21 and everyone was expecting her to win...and then she didnt

narissa kwon famously fainted at the 2018 oscars after it was announced she had lost the award. her actual fainting wasnt caught on camera or televised, but it WAS witnessed by some of the most relevant names and faces in hollywood who were in that room. the scandal took the media by storm, the hashtag #getwellnarissa trending for over 42 hours until a statement was released she had fainted bc of dehydration and other undisclosed causes and that she was okay & currently taking it easy at home surrounded by family

in reality it was the abuse of her medication as well as all the stress, but when your last name is kwon manipulating the press is as simple as making the right phone call. unfortunately for nari and her parents, the article about the brat pack came out a week later, and there was no manipulating that source /:

for narissa, it was all a wake up call. she decided to go off her anxiety meds altogether. after falling out with the brat pack she spent that year trying to figure out who she was separate from her fame and her last name. despite some offers from a few casting directors ( surprisingly some people still wanted her despite the scandals bc she was still a kwon, after all ) narissa rejected every role except one in a coming of age indie movie that explores womanhood and mental health as well as strained relationships with mothers. the movie is set to release sometime mid august hehe (~:

she agreed to come to milan to reunite with the brat pack bc she’s still searching for herself ! nari figures the people who quite literally grew up with her might give her some answers......not to mention there is still a part of her who is desperate to reclaim the image and status she had before everything fell apart </3

PERSONALITY/TIDBITS

narissa is....complicated to say the least. growing up in front of the cameras and in a family who prioritized fame and outside opinions of you as the most important thing, she is quite literally desperate for praise and approval. because she legit has no idea what parts of her are real and what parts of her she’s created for her public persona, she often looks for understanding in others!! shes very very good at analyzing people and understanding people in the hopes that its gonna make her better at analyzing herself, but to no avail.

libra sun capricorn moon !! THIS is super accurate and telling if u wanna read but i kinda just summarized it in the last bullet

she is such a perfectionist with everything she does and a bit of a control freak in the sense that if she’s not the one doing something, she doesnt have faith whatever that is will be able to live up to her unrealistic standards. directors are often concerted with nari bc whenever she gets big roles.....she is so hard on herself, often asking for take after take bc she monitors every little thing abt her expression or her movements. she’s often left frustrated and disappointed with herself bc again, her standards are SUPER unrealistic ):

she’s relatively sweet!! growing up with the brat pack they probably knew her as the life of the party, very bubbly, confident, and very easy to have fun with as long as you’re being tolerable. however, she can get kind of opinionated at times so it’s very hard for you to gain her trust and respect back if you lose it. she’s also prone to random mood swings / periods of isolation, but whenever she returns its with a big smile and a soft voice assuring you everything is okay

very good at lying and deceiving ppl but she hardly ever does it on purpose ( unless her publicists asks her too ). she’s carried this persona / public image of herself curated for consumption from others for so long, sometimes she has no idea when she’s being sincere or if she’s just convincing herself she’s being sincere. most of the time she only deceives other people about herself. she can come across as kind of elusive because of this ( think daisy from gatsby’s perspective ) but it’s not on purpose. she just legit has no true sense of self isnt that sexy?

speaking of sex. JWDBJWBDJWBD she also uses that as a coping mechanism / a weird affirmation that yes, she IS wanted by others and yes she IS seen as someone beautiful and that she IS something to be consumed by others ( like i said in my tags....male fantasies male fantasies ) but then at the same time she feels guilty abt this and so unsatisfied and disgusted at how she’s living her life as an object / manifestation of other people’s projections rather than as a normal person...rip </3 its a cycle

ever since her relationship with micah that was so hated by the public it actually ruined and ended their relationship, nari has been too scared to publicly have a relationship again. the media seems to love seeing her on casual dates with other stars, but not to see her tied down to one person, as that kind of “damages” this super accessible persona she’s put out ( think idols and why they cant date )

she loves poetry, french music, all of marilyn monroe and audrey hepburn’s movies, nonfiction essays abt womanhood and identity, anything chanel, is particularly fond of silk dresses but is partial to velvet as well, wears lacy bralettes under everything bc it makes her a little more confident, actually prefers large parties to small ones because small gatherings are more personal therefore give her more anxiety, would only eat fruit and drink champagne if she could live like that, doesn’t know how to swim so she’s scared of the ocean as well as the dark, used to study ballet as a kid and misses it terribly, doesn’t know how to drive and isn’t planning to learn, can be materialistic at times, is probably an introvert masquerading as an extrovert for 22 years now, the only movies she cant stand are westerns, loves to travel but is scared of flying, doesn’t drink coffee, and is allergic to nuts.

last but most important fact about narissa is that she loves her brother wolfe more than anything in this world so messing with him is the only way nari is bound to 100% hate you. she can bully him all she wants ( ex. starting very real rumors he IS in fact a furry ) but no one else is aloud to actually be mean to him or she will kill you

also very random but i had a hc that when she was 6 and her pet cat jinx died she caused enough fuss at home her parents actually made it a national holiday in about thirteen different states. the anniversary of this death is december 4th and yes . the brat pack better mourn jinx with nari every year......

pls spare plots im sorry this is so long.....JBDJBWJDBWJBWDJBJ i promise it will be worth it also im sensitive and very small ... how can u say no ?

#bratsintro #╰ ♡ . 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒆𝒔 ── ooc !#yes this tag is inspired by the margaret atwood quote....bc i am Literally haunted by it #so is nari x #also this gif ? inspired by her furry brother<3 #this intro is a whole mess pls . plot with me anyway ?#THIS IS RIDICULOUSLY LONG HOLY SJBWJBJWBDJW yea i...am so sorry oy my god

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jokeson-u · 2 years

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unnecessary story time over the most minuscule thing i re stumbled upon

in sophmore year, i had a brief crush on this popular girl we'll call terry. she was. so pretty and cool. and we had a couple classes together and we were 'married' with a 'baby' (ok i wasnt gonna explain that part but its too funny not to basically ?? we had a rly. rly weird french teacher who unfortunately was my guidance teacher too but we wont get into that. one day during french class she just. pulled a baby doll out of her bag and handed it to me with no explanation and every tuesday after that she continued to do so. ig i wasnt there one day and she handed it to terry so she was like 'omg we're baby mamas' and had a kind of passive joking marriage thing. i had like 10 of those in high schools tho so like. we werent close friends. we never had a real convo. it just important to me that yall know the baby stuff LMAO. i think more went into it but idrr) anyways. i had a feeling she and her friend group knew i liked her and made fun of me about it and stuff just cus idk there was an instance in the cafe and another in french class that made me feel that way idk idk and it upset me bc one of her friends was someone i actually was friendly with and i was like hahahahaha rip fuck my life. idk. we ended up texting about it and she said she was just happy she didnt lose her wife, that kind of thing. so it was all good. we never got close after that but like by senior year we had talked more ig? idk. always friendly, never actually friends? but??? we followed each others spam instagrams for some reasons aka where we post our private shit so that was. weird. and one day, after we had already graduated i think, she was posting a lot of negative stuff idk she just seemed.. rly upset. and i normally wouldnt involve myself but a lot of what she was saying was that she didnt have anyone and so i reached out like 'hey terry u good???' to check in and we chatted a little, i told her im around if she needs anything even tho we werent close, she was rly appreciative, that was it. we didnt talk after that, maybe interacted w spam posts but that was it. and then a year later, im in a rly, rly bad place, and i had made a few posts, and i get a text from her basically saying 'hey i know we havent talked in a legit year and maybe arent on the best terms (that old mutual friend had a falling out w her) i wanted to check in u on like u did for me cus i was worried. so. hey b u good?' and proceeded to say shes being 100% genuine in saying she wants me to reach out to her if i need anything and i just found that interaction again when i was going thru my spam DMs and. idk. i always felt like maybe she was kind fake or a bitch and liking her back then was a mistake, even after i decided she was a chill person. but idk. i think maybe she was one of the very few ppl i had feelings for that deserved them?

#Personal #long post

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rhapsody-in-heaven · 3 years

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The Diary of Losing You

Day One

I cant believe it, never did we ever talk about breaking up before this .. and now all of a sudden its happening. I cant process it. I cant accept it. Sure, we’ve had fights but I never felt like they were toxic. We never got to that point - we weren’t even close to that point. Was I too stubborn? Did you not like that? Because no matter how much I begged and bargained - you kept telling me, it was over. That you didnt have to explain things to me but you were doing it out of courtesy. But its hard to accept - not only because it was so sudden but because you told me you still liked me - and god knows, i still like you. You told me, you couldnt change and you knew that about yourself and honestly, I kind of admire that. I havent had a lot of boyfriends but the first one I had to accept cuz he stopped liking me - the other two were long over by the time we broke up - there was resentment in our relationship but we didnt know how to let go - so we kept holding on - even when it got so toxic and even when it was obvious we were much better off without each other. But its still hard. Why don’t you think we’re worth a second chance. i didnt even think it was so bad that it needed to be classified as a second chance - just that we were still trying to figure out the kinks with the first one. Even when I told you that if the same situation happens even one more time, you could break up w me - even if it was two weeks later - i wouldnt complain. But you told me that in that case you would just break up with me two weeks later because for you, the relationship was already over. You didnt think we were worth a second chance and that hurts a lot. I spent hours begging you to reconsider - knowing that you wouldnt - but i still had to try. and then I spent hours after talking to two friends and crying my heart out to them. all i could think about was all the plans we made that would no longer come to pass. I questioned myself if I was missing the thing wed do together or miss you and yeah at that time i was grieving our breakup but grieving more the things that would no longer come to pass. Im used to seeing you once every three weeks but three weeks werent up yet and it still felt relatively normal i guess. but the fact that I also knew the sadness would hit when the three weeks were up also scared me. sleep was my solace - when i sleep, i dont need to think anymore. Day Two teaching as usual but then in the times i didnt have to actively teach - i could feel the tears forming in my eyes but its okay, i dont think anyone noticed. but then we had a break between classes and i started to talk to another friend and then i couldnt stop crying. crying so loud that my coteacher heard it and asked what was wrong, and of course needing to explain things out loud with my voice made it that much worse. I could pull myself together for when i was actually teaching the class but - i still miss everything about you. I had my sixth grade class and I was so happy. They were my worst class last year but they did so well on this exercise we thought they would have trouble with - and they did, but with some help they managed to finish, and they did well. The first person i wanted to talk to was you. I felt like all i ever did was complain in our relationship I really wanted to give you the good news. And you were nice enough that you listened to me, and told me that even before, just hearing from me was good news. and that felt incredibly bittersweet. before leaving school my coteacher told me to feel better but all i could think was that i missed you. I had dinner plans that night but they got cancelled - I called my cousin and he talked to me for hours just listening to me cry - and then talk about life - and listening to me cry again. He told me that you probably didnt like the way we communicated and decided to end it before it gets harder later on. I can respect that I said, but its too soon to call it quits - we never even tried. To him, I just wasnt worth trying. Day Three teaching kept me busy for most of the morning - i didnt have much time to think about you. but after lunch, the sadness began to manifest itself again. I dont think anyone noticed, or maybe they pretended not to. but I started to think back on the times before you moved away. Before we were long distance or even a couple. How you were so good to me. How you made me food. How you stayed with me when i was sad and i just have so many regrets I wasnt adquately able to tell you how i felt about you. How i was constantly unsure about myself but how when you did ask me out, you told me that it was okay that i didnt know - it was okay if i was never able to say i love you because you could feel that saying “love” signified a very strong emotion for me that i wasnt sure i ever felt before, and even with just me saying “like” you knew and could tell that my feelings for you were really deep. Why is it that you miss them so much more when theyre gone? Why do i feel like I shouldve treated you better i shouldve done more and thought of you more and expressed my feelings to you better. but hindsight is always 20/20. I went to pole and then to see my friends at night. we went to karaoke and at this point only one of the two friends knows because i didnt wanna ruin the birthday celebrations coming up of the one who didnt know. Well we were singing “payphone” and she said that we were singing it like someone had broken our hearts and all i could do was pretend to laugh. For the record, I dont think u broke my heart. or i dont blame you. i just wish things ended differently - i wish we were worth another shot in your mind. But all of this, is just wishful thinking. And i know that.

Day Four

its the weekend, and the day we celebrate her birthday. its a rainy day and somehow every little thing reminds me of you. I havent felt like this after a break up in a long time - im not sure if ive ever felt like this after a break up at all. My last two were long over before we ended things and the one before that was the definition of puppy love - sure i thought about him, and maybe its because its been so long but i dont remember every little thing reminding me of him. The rain reminds me of you. I saw a couple walking under an umbrella and remembered that you bought this hella big and expensive umbrella so that we could share it together in the rain. when I was at the aquarium all i could think about was how nice it would be if i was there with you. I saw a boat and i could just think about your job and how youre a shipbuilding engineer. Even looking at myself in the mirror, i thought about how you bought a jean jacket so we could match. I thought about the white tennis shoes we wanted to buy so we could match together when a friend mentioned she needed new white shoes. I thought of all the cute little cafes you took me to when we went to eat a cafe. my friend said she wanted to go to a marsh she saw in my photos - the very same one you took me to. we went to a coin karaoke place and the first time i ever went to one was with you. and sometimes i didnt need a reminder - my mind would just wander and i would remember things i didnt even know I remembered. the time when we fought about women in the workforce and your industry in the cafe and at the car. how when i asked if you were still mad at me you said that you wish you said “oh maybe i am a little bit, but ill make a lot of money and buy u a nice purse” to defuse the situation instead of getting mad. How our very first date lasted two nights and three days. How you couldnt spend my birthday w me but spent valentines w me the next day. The night you asked me to be your girlfriend - and how scared but also how happy i was. How you always took me to so many places. How i always could complain to you and you would always listen w patience - how i just wanted you back - how i wanted you to hold me and tell me it was a mistake - that you didnt really wanna break up w me that you thought about it and you wanna try again. but i also know, its wishful thinking and i know, that you wont come back to me. Day Five No plans. it’s still raining. No reason to go out. Can’t find the will to clean my apartment thats getting messier and dirtier by the day. I just want to lie in bed. I’ve been swiping on tinder and talking to some ppl - not to find a rebound but just to talk to people - to feel less - lonely? dejected? idk. but it doesnt really work - it feels like a lot of effort that I cant give. Were conversations always this hard? i feel like ours were so easy. And then i start to think again. all the promises we made. You said you would still try to be friends with me. Can we still do the little things? even before we went out you said u would take me skiing in the winter - is that still on? you told me you would buy me a hanbok - how about that? will you still take me? I keep asking why its over for you. why another chance will never happen. but the whole day, i just lie in bed. I cant bring myself to do anything. I keep searching up things like how long it should take to get over you - but at the same time im not sure i want to. Its not over for me yet even if its over for you. I guess, im feeling all the beginning stages of grief at once. Shock and Denial - i know its over - my head knows it - my head knows that you wont take me back or give us another go but my heart still has that false hope. my heart doesnt want to give you up. Guilt and Pain - well the pain is self explanatory but the guilt - i just keep wondering if this was my fault. if I was too unwilling to change - or didnt know i needed to change until i realized u were serious when you said you were thinking of breaking up w me - if i never said “how about we just never talk again” in anger and sadness, would we have gotten to this point? Anger and Bargaining - im not really angry - i mean i dont think this was your fault or mine but i guess i am kind of upset at the fact that you dont think we’re worth a second shot. anything we argued about, even if it spanned across a couple of days, has never come up again. and this was the first time this particular issue came up so why could we both make steps and amends to keep this from happening. are we both too stubborn? but i was willing and it felt like you werent. you told me that even ur past gfs have said that sometimes they didnt feel like they really had a choice and it wasnt just me. so im assuming that this is something youre eventually going to have to fix for yourself or you find a girl whos okay with that - but you also said you didnt want a gf or a wife that was like a doll who just agreed w everything you said. so this just means to me that youre not willing to try and change. honestly, if youre aware of it, it shouldnt be a hard fix but you already made up your mind that you werent going to do it. in reality i just wasnt the one you were willing to make those steps towards. and that is where my sadness and anger come from. now bargaining - im really willing to make changes and kind of the biggest testament i can give to that is that if we could be together again, i could quit that game ive been playing for 2 years cold turkey. For whatever reason, you never liked me playing that game and if it means i could have you back, i would gladly get rid of it. as for the other things - i promise i wont pressure to be with you longer cuz i know your tired - now i know youre tired. because you never told me before. Im sorry i dont like to lose arguments and i get defensive - i know i need to communicate better too. but i just really miss you and it kills me that we never even gave it a chance. yes, maybe youre right and things wont change and i know you think youre doing me a favour by ending this sooner rather than later but it kills me more that we never tried. Depression Loneliness and Reflection - self explanatory maybe im not fully in this stage yet but I do realize that the bargaining is not going to work even if i hope that it would. it isnt over to me and to be honest, im not sure i want to get over you yet, even tho i know i should. Day Six

a monday. i asked you yesterday if we could talk and you said you were busy. I’m sure even tho i know your answer, i will ask you today if you would reconsider. im sorry if this puts pressure on you but i think its also necessary that i know I at least tried for my own sanity instead of letting this go. I’m going to tell you everything ive been thinking the last several days just to get it out. and yes, there is still that false hope that you’ll take me back and when that’s crushed i will probably inevitably cry again. I’m not sure if talking to you so soon is the right answer, if later would give me a clearer head. but my heart is telling me that i need to ask you to reconsider now and not later - if only for the confirmation - that nail on the coffin, that we’re really not happening anymore. I asked you when you had time and you said 10pm. So after work, i go home and i write down everything i want to talk to you about - at least everything i can think of at the time of writing much of which i talked about here already - how i thank you for loving me and all the things you did for me, how i still hope youll keep ur promise about buying me a hanbok, about a possible snowboard trip, about my stages of grief - my denial, my anger, the bargaining, how it wasnt just you who needed to change but i do think you will eventually need to change for someone - that i was sad it wasnt me. how i wish you told me about the stresses of your job so id be more understanding, how you were the first guy i thought i could say i love you to. how im not good at this cuz my last two and only serious relationships ended long before we called it off but right now i still feel like i was starting to like you more and more. how u know to break it off now because it would hurt more for me later and you no longer wanted to see me cry but for me second chances and trying is important - which is why im bargaining with you even tho i know you will say no. i need to know i did everything I could. that im sad we didnt meet earlier and have a more stable realtionship and maybe it woulda worked out - that i was sad you had to move for your job because if you were still here things wouldve worked out differently. but i dunno - i hope youll listen with as open a mind as u can, really think about it before you reject me and ill know i did everything i could.

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oflgtfol · 3 years

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i had the weirdest dream before and i wish i typed it out earlier bc im starting to forget it but my hands felt too weak when i first woke up lol DX

so i was in my bedroom with a bunch of ppl my age. i have no idea who they were. i think i was the loner of the group anyway. and then we all got this emergency alert on our phones. that an asteroid was heading towards the earth and was going to crash in hungary within the next hour, but its effects would be felt worldwide. apparently space travel was advanced enough that we were all supposed to pack and head to the nearest space ship dock thing so we could escape into space

i was trying to pack as much as possible but everyone else in my room finished within like 2 minutes. so i held everyone behind (it still only felt like i took 5 minutes??) and somehow the hour was up and we were too late and we hadnt even left the house yet

the people in my room like disappeared lol and then it was just me and my family members who Actually Live Here. when we stepped outdoors, everything was burnt and destroyed. houses were hollowed out, with thin scorched walls that were barely standing. windows were blown out. our house fared better but was also destroyed. our entire street was totally deserted. we were loading up into the car to go... somewhere? maybe we were still gonna go to the space dock thingy even though we’d already passed the hour mark, idk, but as we were loading up. i think we left our dog in the house. i think because we werent allowed to bring animals onto the space ship and we thought maybe she could survive better scavenging around idk

but she has severe separation anxiety and. she broke out of the house, like we heard her yelping in a way she never has before, and then she was running out from the backyard, she must’ve broken thru the back door of the house. and she came running towards us where we were in the driveway and then she just stood there barking at us like she was so desperate to not be left behind and it legitimately broke my fuckin heart im gonna cry just thinking about it and its like. there was no good option. bc we couldnt bring her along, but also we knew she would not survive on her own, just bc of the separation anxiety alone. it was like, damned if you do, damned if you dont

and tehn suddenly my fuckin? grandma? emerged from our backyard as well?? followed by a bunch of more obscure family members i havent seen in years? who live nowhere near where we do???? and my grandma picked my dog up and was like “its fine, you guys go on ahead, she’ll be here with us”

and so like. we got into the car. and it was also similarly burned out and scorched like the houses but it was still somehow functional. so as we were sitting there letting it run for a minute, my mom had some red straws. and she was like. “i only actually have x amount of straws, but look, theres so many more. im trying to see whats real and what isnt” and so when she picked up the straws... we saw her pick up all of them, but when she lifted her hand, only about half of them were actually there. like somehow, the other straws just did not get picked up. typing this out makes this seem insane LMAO but somehow in the dream that was an indication that like, this isnt reality. this is an illusion or something

and then we looked up and. the car was in pristine condition again. and all the houses were normal

this is where i wish i typed this out earlier because i know way more happened after this but i just cannot remember. but i do remember at some point i got woken up by my alarms, but fell back to sleep, but then i was aware i was dreaming and so i got a glimpse of a lucid dream but like. at that point i was with some weird crowd of people and we were all gonan die or soemthing but we knew it wasnt real, and so this one kid stood up and was like “im looking forward to dying! :D” and i just looked up at him and was like. wow! im dreaming. i should be in control of everything then right? so i was like. u wanna die? ok! so then like. a fucking knife came down from the sky and stabbed him straight in the head and blood went everywhere and i was like UHM I WENT TOO FAR and then i woke up for real <3

#brot posts #my dreams #I HAD TWO SECONDS OF A LUCID DREAM #AND WHAT DO I DO WITH THAT POWER? I KILL A 15 YEAR OLD BOY #i havent had a lucid dream in YEARS im so mad that i wasnt able to use it more LMAOO #i mean to be fair im pretty sure we all knew it was a dream like it wasnt only me. we all knew it wasnt real #and thats why that kid said that #and i was like oh u wanna die ? and this isnt real? ok then #and so i used it to test out if i actually had control AND WELL YES I DID </3

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fuckblizzardbearlover · 4 years

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You can interpret what u want from art. However your interpretation isnt fact. The facts are that writers have intent. So if more story reveals your theory is wrong that soes not mean the writer ruined their own story or whatever. It means YOU were wrong.

I have no idea why ppl interpreted Rey's arch as "finding her own power " or whatever. I can see why some CHOSE to INTERPRET that narrative from the story but that had nothing to do with the actual story. Just...look at it. A handmedown lightsabre. Help of finn and poe and the resistence. Immediately goes to get help from leia and luke. Going to get kylo to help stop the empire.

There is NOTHING to suggest reys arch is about being independant. That was fan wank.

The ACTUAL story is rey coming to terms with her abandonment. With ...not realizing. We saw in tlj she knew what they did....but ADMITTING that they werent coming back . That there wasnt some plan. They werent protecting her. She stayed on that planet all her life cus she lied to herself saying her parents loved her. And that was her moment in tlj...was admitting to herself finally that her parents never loved her

And thats what makes events of ros important. Is her understanding that family is nm ot who u share blood with its who loves u , will fight for you and even fight you for you. That was her arch. The narratuve didnt even play with the idea of her being related to the skywalkers...some of the cinemetography and shots and symbolism hinted at it to tease the audience because there was always that question.

But the actual arch of hers was letting go of ppl who never loved her and embracing those who did

P.s. han cane from nothing. Lando built himself from nothing. Ezra and kanaan were nothing. Boba fett was nothing. Star wars is FULL of heroic characters who affected the universe through their own power. So THAT was DEFINATELY not reys arch because star wars has ALWAYS said anyone can be a hero. Almost all the heroes of star wars save a handful from a very dramatic family, are just normal ppl

#rise of skywalker spoilers

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jizzlesdreams · 5 years

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July 28, 2019

Guys. I woke up earlier to jake messaging me (normally when that happens i have a cute dream with him)

And i just woke up from this dream cuz it got too scary lol

Like at first it was chill, i was with fam and we were in la, dricing around from an event and there was a lit ass sunset and so much going on. Had another event to go to but it was more kf a hideout/place to stay and othrr ppl were there. I was taking a shower then there was a countdown and everything stopped being streamed. So i got spooked and i got out of my shower super fast and i went to my fam and they said there was shit happening outsife and to lock all doors. It was finally time and we were witj other ppl but this one dudr wanted to get in ojr place and he even got that shit to open doors so he did and everyone in our building freaked out cuz thst meant we were all contaminated. I was talking to jake on the phone cuz he was in kansas and i saying how everything is going to end here and he was likw wtf r u talking about and im like how tf is that not happening there and he told me to wait for him cuz he will come to me and fly out there and i was telling him he cant do that because when he gets here, the whole city will be gone. Then i was like i wanted to do this is in person but i couldnt but i havw to say it now, then when i was talking this was when that dude broke into the building and contaminated all of us and hella zombies got in our building but jake was still on the line but i was running awat and tried to kill these fuckers but i only had scissors. I was able to chop off half of some ladys neck off tho lol but then the scissors became dull so i ran up some super tall cabinets ans sat up there and i tried to talk to jake but the phone didnt havensignal or he just wasnt answering. But hella shit was going on, ppl saw i was on top of the cabinets ans followed me up there cuz they thought it was safe but too muchbgoing on andnpeople falling and the zombies ended up climbing up and some dude looked at me and was about tonfall ans was like, we're all going to dje because theyre here already

So i thought nah fuck that and i tried to fight back but there was too much and i started sliding down. So i grab something to hold and i tried to get mt phone to tell jake that i love him but the call wasnt going through. It was super weird

But yesterday, i was in the cologne section and one of the sales lady ended up giving me a sample of his cologne and smelling his cologne made me miss him so fucking much and i just automatically had the thought of how much i love him and cant wait to be with him again

and i woke up to msgs with jake where it was super cute cuz i msged hum last night how much i missed him and the smell of his cologne takes me back to when we first hunf out and i was nervous for a solid month but only xuz i really liked him and didnt wanna fuck up. And his messages thjs morning were v cute

But ya that dream was super wack

^sent that to nicole and ash

~~~Sent this to jake

Basically started off as an insane day like super fun. Was at some fair with my family in la and there was a sunset happening and i turend around and was taking a video of it all cuz the sky was legit so many fucking colors and therw was a rainbow which had a shootjng star going around jt so it looke super fucking cool and there were fireworks going on too. I was taking the vid to send you

So we get back home bjt there was another event happening in our building. I end up taking a shower but all of a sudden, there was a huge warning from the gov that there will be a lockdown/shit was gonna happen in 40 minutes. So i spaz and run out of my shower to be with my fam

We end up being in this huge lobby (massive high ceilings) and we're just in lockdown. I end up calling you saying how its basically end up the world and you're in kansas and you're like wtf r u talking about (it wasnt happening around you cuz i think it started in LA and kansas doesnt have as much people as la so it you werent affected yet. So im telling you all this shit and you were trying to calm me down and tell me everything will be okay and how you're going to get a flight over to me and just wait for you to be here with me. But i was trying to tell you you cant do that cuz by the time you get here, LA will be fucked and nothing will be left

Then some dude tried broke into our building and we all got contaminated then hella zombies flooded in and i only had scissors so i end up chopping off half this ladys head off and i tried ti get the dude who broke in, but his skin was too thick which fucked up my scissors so i ran over to these tall ass cabinets that were stacked on each other and i sat on top. Our call was still going and i tried to speak to you but i guess no signal or you werent speaking

I ended up killing some zombies but then more people aaw me at the top and wanted to join but that cauaed too much attention so hella zombies started climbing too. And then some dude looks at me and goes, theres no use in fighting, we're all going to die. And i was thinking like we all eventually die anyway so meh. But i ended up sliding down the cabinets to get away from the madness and i knew i was still on the phone with u so i tried to talk to u but u still werent answering. I ended up getting to the floor (the cabinets were legit 4 stories tall) and u still wouldnt talk so idk wtf was going on. But i get down and these zombies/people wanted to use the organs of the living to do something it. But it was just these ones, like other zombies just kill the humans but idk these were wack. And they were going to peel off each of my veins and organs when i was alive ans shit got too scary cuz i got outnumbered and had no weapon and idk where my fam went so i just woke up cuz i couldnt figure out a way to beat them and you werent answering😭

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punishervinyl · 7 years

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u too answer all those questions w todd bicht

fuckin hell lesly

OK HERE GOES

1: their voice

uhh THIS IS SO HARD TO EXPLAIN he talks very loudly?? like his normal speaking voice is just naturally very loud… kinda a ragged voice?? he kinda talks very.. lazily?? like drops the “g” in words ending thing “ing” yno??? but he also puts emphasis on random syllables ?? idk how to explain hfkdfkl

2: their smilehe has a crooked smile, very smug looking even when he’s not trying to be tbh, almost looking kinda mocking or making fun of you even when he’s not. but u will know if he’s being genuine, he has a nice laugh too.

3: their greatest achievementhmmmm well this depends on a lot of things but i guess its the little things.. being able to support himself without anyone elses help is one.

4: their insecurities theres a lot but ill try not to get Too Deep with this 1…. i guess he’s kinda insecure in general, not in an appearance way, but in his personality and the way he handles things, the shit he gets himself into, he’s not super proud of it, but purposefully acts confident so that ppl wont realize. he is insecure about the huge burn scar he has, too…

5: their shortcomingsi could write an essay if i wanted to, god. everything??????????

6: how they deal with griefhe doesnt. drinks, i guess. ignores it???

7: how they like to dresshe doesnt give a fuck. wears the same brown leather jacket all the time. plain white v-neck.. flannel shirts that are wrinkled and havent been washed in like 3 days… ripped jeans… plain stuff

8: what they like to eatuhhh hes not picky but he likes italian food

9: their themedunno what this means lul

10: their fashion sensetodd doesnt know what that is

11: their family lifebad

12: their romantic lifealso very bad. 13: their embarrassing memory from years agoevery memory he has is embarrassing. hes embarrassing.14: how they react to burning their tongue on fooda very loud, “SHIT”15: how they react to a brainfreezeputs his head in his hands and complains constantly til it goes away16: their dreams1. have a good job2. finally go to college3. own a very large tv4. be rich17: their ambitions1. be a better person2. stop drinking and smoking so much, dammit18: how they sleephe actually sleeps very still, doesnt move that much. usually hugs his pillow19: their reaction to betrayalhmm this depends but in general he would just be pissed more than anything, he wouldnt be sad or anything at all if u werent rly close to him, honestly his attitude would b “im not surprised bc i suck but fuck you”20: their reaction to a mystery love lettervery blushy, would act like he wasnt surprised that he got a love letter at all, (he is very surprised) probably bothers everyone he knows and asks them if they wrote it, (as if theyd tell him) would say stuff like, “c’mon, you sent me this, right? i knew you were obsessed with me.” 21: how they react to paindepends, but generally he’d get mad.22: what they’re like on two hours of sleepwhat are you talking about, thats normal

23: how they act when they’re sickVERY DRAMATIC…. complains constantly… acts very self pitying just to get people to do shit for him24: what motivates themhis friends25: why you enjoy themuhh well ive had him as my oc for like. YEARS, and i think he’s just very different from me so i think its fun to write him. you grow attached to ur characters once u have had them for as long as i have, and he’s just more developed than my other ocs

#oc #todd #answered #i cant put this under a read more rip #oc meme #xibladde

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get-the-treasure · 7 years

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school log #3

9-8-17

it was a busy day nd this is a day late

Hour 1 (AP Bio): we got our books at the end of class and thank god my locker is right by brians lol. for the beginning of class we did an experiment where 2 people were scientists and the rest of us were aliens. brain m nd sophie were the scientists so they left the room nd brian briefed us on our role. basically we would only reply to sophie because she wasnt wearing glasses (and everyone who normally wears glasses took them off) but we would only reply with yes. if she asked us individual questions wed copy her facial expressions. sophie figured out the face that we only replied to her pretty quickly and she even mentioned the fact that ppl like taylor nd sammy didnt have glasses on but she didnt connect the dots as to why we only replied to her.

Hour 2 (ROPE): spent the entire time listening to music in my play more playlist and found 2 songs i played a few times. they were rlly good afjknsfa, song 1, song 2. i wrote maybe another paragraph as well!

Hour 3 (Homegroup/3B): cant rlly remember??? i think we discussed ppl buying donuts every friday or smthn nd playing games on friday 3bs w the hg but im seriously dead poor i cant get the hg donuts tf??? so i opted out lol. i wasnt going to tell them how poor we are that we can barely afford food so they probably think im not that poor but its rlly bad.

Hour 4 (English 12): we read another story from that thicc book and it was leagues better than the first one. this one made the other one look like a middle school book report lol. then we talked about it and i dont understand lizzies opinions like ever jabfksnaf. for a part that a normal person would take as like ‘oh thats a lil humor nd its endearing’ lizzie takes and changes it to be ‘THIS IS CONDESCENDING ND HONESTLY? I DONT LIKE IT’ like calm down he pointed out dude asked if u had to eat the whole cheesecake or if u could have a slice how is that condescending i just ughhh it didnt make sense its not that deep girl

Hour 5 (Free): all i can remember is that i went down to the office to check if i could get a summary so i could have smthn w proof of my birthday nd picture on it. they didnt know what i wanted so i figured id go check back later.

Lunch: i p much spent the time snaccin on a protein bar i lov it

Hour 6 (Free): eren and i worked on setting up appts to donate blood cause it was a whole mess and i checked back w the offic and they knew what i wanted so i got a copy

Hour 7 (Government): we watched a video about how you should form your own opinions then took notes. we have a quiz next week i think.

Hour 8 (Advanced Drawing/Painting): sammy, ariel, mariya and i talked a lot abt jesus nd his good pal god nd stuff it was a lot of fun actually nd i finished a sketch.

after school: i went home to boil eggs because i thought i was going to donate blood so i made eggs for rye, eren, nd i to get our protein levels up. eren nd rye stopped by nd we left to go to greenfield to donate blood. eren ended up feeling too guilty disobeying her mom saying she couldnt drive to greenfield despite saying she didnt mind driving that far up themself so we turned around all dejected nd honestly i was kind of frustrated. like wed planned everything out multiple times throughout the day already and then by the end of the school day multiple people ended up saying they werent coming and plans had to change on the spot. and short term planning is already frustrating as it is but then when youre literally 10 minutes from ur destination adn everything has to be replanned then its even more frustrating. so we threw our plans out the window and started home. then eren had to return the car so we went to their house nd my mom picked us up and took us to the mall. we walked around for like 4 hours and bothered yadi but then it was basically fun adn i forgot abt how frustrated i was earlier. then we went to ross dress for less and tried on dresses (i only tried one cause my boobs were too big for the medium rye picked out for me) and rye and eren both ended up liking dresses i basically forced them to wear annnnd they ended up buying them. i paid half of this one dress eren wanted cause i hadnt gotten them a bday gift yet so i figured that would be the gift. before that wed been at boston store and tried on more dresses that we all picked out for each other, then we went to bobs furniture store to furnish our fake apartment ajhsbfasfla. then we had snacks from the store and got vagina punched by a massage chair which also almost broke every bone in my body on accident. so that was fun akjsfkjas. then yadi drove us to ross’ (to buy erens dress, because they didnt have enough money at the time nd i hadnt decided to pay half until wed been at boston store to bother yadi more) then back to the front doors where my mom (and liam) picked us up. we went to scores but eren nd i had spent all out money basically nd rye didnt have ny so eren got a $1.25 taco and rye nd i had water but i knew my mom wouldnt actually be like ‘spent all ur money too bad u cant eat’ so she bought appetizers (so rye could eat) nd 20 wings so eren, her, nd i could. liam had smthn else. we took pics nd peed as a squad but erens stall had ‘fuck bitches get money <3′ on the inside it was wild. thennnn they both slept over nd we did sheet masks which was my first nd eren nd i made ice cream cake from a bag while rye passed out on the couch. after all that mess we went to bed nd i checked what id missed throughout the day, had a private chat that needed to be taken care of, nd talked w the skype squad for a while so i ended the day on a rlly good note. overall the day was fun even if there were frustrating moments. 9/10 could have been warmer

#day 4 #did i put school log 2 on my main or smthn like a fucking idiot #tardy: 0 #late: 0 #absent:0

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