#There’s no way you watch community and NOT Chang | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

colormepurplex2 · 2 days

Text

Shatter With Me | Epilogue: Room 613

↳ Model!Jungkook x Surrogate!f.Reader ⤜ Surrogacy, Best Friend’s Husband ⤜ Rating: MA 🔞 ⤜ WC: 1,481 ⚠️ Breastfeeding, talk of labor, mentions of divorce/infidelity

Next Chapter⇾ (ongoing) ⇽Previous Chapter ◅ Back to story masterlist

You’re sleeping just a few feet away, exhausted from your journey into motherhood. Jungkook isn’t certain he’s ever seen someone so strong and resilient. Nineteen hours of blood, sweat, and tears—watching you bring his son into the world flooded his life with light in the form of cherubic cheeks and the long, dark lashes that fan over them as he slumbers, too.

Jungkook isn’t certain he’ll ever be able to express to you what it all means to him—what he means to him.

Seojun.

The sweet bundle Jungkook can’t bring himself to put down in the bassinet provided by the hospital. He’s afraid if he puts Seojun down that he might miss something. He knows that’s a bit silly, as his son is only a few hours old at this point—but, just in case.

There are a million reasons for the multitude of feelings that are consuming Jungkook right now. But, the foremost is everything in this very room. Room 613, the labor and delivery suite which will be his sanctuary for the next day until he gets to take you and his son home.

Home. That’s another item on the list of reasons. The unit he purchased, the one he surprised you with that special night—the night you pulled down all the walls in and around him—all those weeks ago. He wanted to go to dinner so he could surprise you with the keys. You clearly had picked up on his excitement, but he tried to play it cool…until he got his hands on you, at least, then his control slipped away with each sweep of his hands and pluck of your lips.

Jungkook chose the unit, which just so happened to be in the same complex as his soon-to-be previous condo, that you put at the top of the ‘wants’ list you were keeping. It’s almost twice as big as his old one, boasting an additional bedroom and full bathroom with a private infinity pool and balcony. It’s one of the higher-tier units available in the community.

With the combined efforts between you and himself, plus the additional profit from selling his old unit, it wasn’t that much of a step up as far as cost goes. Plus, it practically comes with built-in babysitters in the form of Taehyung and Jimin. The moment they found out Seojun was welcomed into the world, they hadn’t stopped asking to come see him; all in due time.

For now, though, he wants to enjoy this quiet bubble a little longer—just Seojun, Jungkook, and the woman he has come to love in ways he never thought imaginable. It might have started out as a different kind of love, but it surely has grown and evolved into something he wants nothing more than to covet and foster further.

Jungkook once thought he knew what love was; that what he felt for Jiyoon was love. But, it doesn’t even begin to hold a candle to the inferno you’ve introduced into his heart and soul. You are the sun, blazing bright and all-consuming.

Seojun stirs in Jungkook’s arms, wiggling his arms and hands free of the blanket swaddle; the olive green onesie underneath a gift from Taehyung. Round, sleepy eyes, so like his own, blink up at him. Seojun’s rounded lips, a feature Jungkook is certain he got from you, form into a pucker before popping open in a wide yawn. A small line forms between his son's brows before that yawn turns into a soft whine, and Jungkook automatically goes into comfort mode.

Checking down the mental list, Jungkook changes Seojun’s diaper, pats his back in a soothing manner, and most everything else the half dozen baby books he read suggested for calming fussy babies. When nothing else works to quell Seojun’s soft cries, Jungkook moves over to the bed you’re still sound asleep on and taps you gently on the shoulder.

“Babe,” Jungkook whispers.

It takes you a moment to rouse, your sleepy eyes blinking up at him as you roll over onto your back. A slow smile pulls at your lips as your eyes brighten a bit more once they land on Seojun.

“Is everything okay?”

“I think someone is hungry.” Jungkook gives you a sheepish, lopsided grin.

You click the button on your bed and it automatically begins to lift into an upright position. “Aw, poor guy. Come here.” Jungkook passes Seojun into your waiting arms.

Jungkook is certain that no matter how many times he witnesses the care you provide to Seojun, he’ll never not be awed by it. It’s not weird or awkward watching as you untie the fastening on your hospital gown and reveal your swollen breasts, if anything, it’s beautiful.

The lactation consultant who came by shortly after Seojun was born explained all the intricacies of breastfeeding and the changes your body might experience. Jungkook finds it utterly fascinating, the way Seojun roots around until his mouth finds what he needs.

You sigh, your lids drooping low as you hide a yawn behind a hand. Exhaustion still lingers in your eyes, but they’re also full of life as they drop from Jungkook’s gaze to Seojun contentedly nursing.

“You’re so beautiful.” Jungkook means that, saying it with as much reverence as he can muster.

“You come here, too,” you tell Jungkook, patting the open space on the bed beside you.

It’s a tight fit sliding in next to you, and Jungkook is certain if a nurse comes in, they might disapprove, but he can’t deny you anything. You lean your head on Jungkook’s shoulder, snuggling into his side the best you can with a baby cradled against your chest.

A comfortable time passes as Seojun takes his fill before falling back into a quiet slumber. You press a soft kiss to Seojun’s brow before passing him back to Jungkook. Jungkook helps you to resecure the drape of your gown and then hooks a finger under your chin and tilts your head up so he can press his lips to yours, whispering encouragement for you to get some more rest.

You smile dreamily up at him before clicking to lower the bed just a bit, and nuzzling further into his side to do just that. Within minutes, your chest is rising and falling with deep, even breaths.

Jungkook isn’t sure what the future holds, but as long as he can have many more moments like this, everything else seems so insignificant. Shifting Seojun in his arms, Jungkook gets comfortable, and his eyes flick up to the TV mounted in the corner of the room. An amused smirk tilts the corner of his mouth as he reads the auto-generated captions scrolling across the bottom of the screen. A news anchor is on the screen, their mouth moving with silent words, the volume on the TV muted.

BREAKING NEWS: ACTOR DOHYUN KIM, FORMER CLIENT OF KIM EXCLUSIVES, CAUGHT IN SALACIOUS SCANDAL. SOURCES SUGGEST HE HAS BEEN HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HIS MANAGER AND THAT SHE IS CARRYING HIS CHILD…

Shaking his head, Jungkook focuses back on his son. “Jeon Seojun,” Jungkook murmurs in a whisper so soft, it’s more breath than sound so as to not wake you, “one day, I’m going to tell you the story about how you came to be in this world. It’s not going to be as pretty as some stories, but not as sad as others, either. It’s special, unique to you and this beautiful woman sleeping beside us. She doesn’t know it yet, or rather, I haven’t gathered the balls enough to say it to her, but I love her. I really do. Which, some might find a bit crazy, considering it’s only been a short time and everything else we’ve been through…but, I think that makes me love her even more.” Jungkook sniffs, fighting back the sudden tidal wave of emotions threatening to consume him.

You came into his life, a quiet, professional observer who opened an entirely new world for him. He was young and naive, and he wanted nothing more than to be successful and achieve his dreams. Seven years of nothing but support and help helped him achieve all of that and more. Does he wish he had realized his feelings sooner? That he had acted on them before Jiyoon could pull the wool over his eyes?

Sure. He supposes so. Who wouldn’t want that?

But, deep down, Jungkook knows that if he hadn’t experienced the last seven years the way he had, there’s no telling if he would be who he needs to be for you. In many ways, Jiyoon helped him to see exactly what he needed and wanted in a personal capacity. The ups and downs helped him to grow, to learn, and to become the man he is now—the one you and Seojun deserve.

A man once broken, now slowly being put back together; mended by you.

A/N: Want to see what comes next for JK and his FMC? Mended By You, the follow-up to Shatter With Me, is officially in the works!

The special character POV chapter will come next and tells various events from Jiyoon's perspective across the span of this story, as well as events not seen here 👀

Next Chapter⇾ (ongoing) ⇽Previous Chapter ◅ Back to story masterlist

◅ Back to Main Master List ©️ 2024-05-19 ColorMePurplex2

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #dilf jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook imagines #bts smut #bts angst #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts imagines #bangtanwhq #btsfests

340 notes · View notes

caelum-in-the-avatarverse · 2 days

Text

Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.

So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.

Lurkers really are great, tho

I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.

Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.

The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.

Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.

There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.

I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available.

I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.

I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.

So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.

But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.

I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.

Should we gatekeep fandom?

I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--

A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.

That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.

See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.

So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.

The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.

And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”

Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.

Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.

And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.

However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community.

I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.

And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company?

And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)

But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.

Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.

Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.

Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists.

While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:

[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom

OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]

“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.

I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.

It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits.

So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.

And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.

So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.

Think of it like a garden gate

When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.

The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people.

Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it.

Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.

My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.

But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.

I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.

Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.

And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.

Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.

Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.

There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.

#ao3 #lore.fm #fanfiction #fandom history #gift economy #caelum rambles

274 notes · View notes

sadslay · 1 day

Text

- NIGHT CLASS ⋆☆ 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

warnings — fluff because steve deserves happiness, light nsfw content, reader is a single mother?

an — i neeeeeded this out of my drafts, it has been here forever MONTHS

steve had been attending the hawkins community collage for a few weeks, taking a business class his father had insisted he take to ‘better his future at the family company’. steve had also been watching you from afar since the very first class, his eyes always drawn towards you when they should have been focused on the blackboard. he remembered you from high-school, and since then you had only gotten more beautiful, more matured, something about you had changed.

it was coming to the one month mark since steve had joined the class and he was trying to think of all the ways to talk to you. from what steve could gather, you were far too invested in the class to be paying attention to him. steve had been admiring you for some time now and tonight was finally the night he was going to talk to you, strike up conversation and finally get over his nerves.

you always sat in the second row, the closest seat to the door, and you were always the last to arrive and the first to leave. steve had always found you mysterious, even back in high-school, but now, you were all the more intriguing. steve had it all figured out, for today was the day he’d finally talk to you. he was going to stop you before you had disappeared into the hallway and he’d strike up some sort of conversation that he was one hundred percent certain would come naturally.

but as the teacher gave his final words for the lesson, you were already packing up your things and before steve could even rise to his feet you had disappeared into the hallway. as quickly as he could, steve shoved his notes and paperwork into his backpack and walked - very quickly, almost ran - into the hallway to find you rushing towards the door to the main street. steve walked outside to find you running towards the bus stop, only for the bus to be flying down the road, completely ignoring your calls.

steve wasn’t quite sure what had come over him but before he knew it, he was calling out to you. “did you need a ride?” as you spun around to face the voice that had just called out to you, your eyebrows pinched together. “da-did you need a ride?” steve repeated, rubbing the back of his neck as he stayed in his place.

there were meters between you and steve, meters of empty space as you stood in silence. “it’s okay.” you shrugged, looking back at the dimly lit bus stop. the next bus wasn’t for another hour, but you had waited for it before, it was no big deal. “the next bus shouldn’t take long.” you lied, unable to entirely see who was calling out to you.

“are you sure?” steve asked, stepping into the yellow glow of the street light.

“steve?” you queried, stepping a little further as you finally recognized his voice and face. “holy shit.” you giggled, stepping forward a few more feet to offer him a friendly smile. “you’re takin’ business?” you asked, now finally a few feet away from steve as he stood completely dumbfounded.

“ye-yeah.” he stammered, a weak laugh escaping his lips in hopes to avoid an awkward silence, but a silence ensued as steves laugh faded. “hey, did uh- did you still need that ride?” steve asked, vaguely pointing in the general direction of his car.

you smiled, weakly nodding, “i live on the other-side of town is that alright?” you asked, your eyebrows slightly pinching together as you realized it might be out of his way.

it was totally okay. “yeah,” steve scoffed, “s’fine.” he shrugged, a friendly smile ghosting over his lips as he began to search for his car keys in his pocket. “where abouts?”

“uh,” you hesitated for a moment almost embarrassed to tell him where you lived. “in the trailer park.” you spoke quietly, following steve to the car park.

⋆☆

steve had been watching the classroom door like a hawk. you had been on his mind for weeks now, but more so now then ever. as of the moment, you were two minutes late and the professor was beginning to start the class, and steve was beginning to get worried. maybe you had missed the bus? maybe you we-

“sorry im late.” you apologized, walking into the class - looking tired and unprepared- before talking a seat beside steve. “did i miss much?” you asked in a hushed whisper as you began to pull out your notes from previous classes.

“no.” steve replied, warmly smiling as he watched you frantically pull out books and pages of work. “hey are yo-”

“mr. harrington do i need to remind you that this class is for people who actually intend on paying attention and being present.” the professor spoke, causing at least a dozen pair of eyes to look in steves directly.

steve nodded, giving the teacher an enthusiastic thumbs up before turning his attention to the notes. you smiled as you watched steve tap his fingers on his desk. you took a pen out of your bag and began to write a note on your pad of paper.

‘sorry i got you in trouble :)’

you handed him the note then turned you attention to the professor as he wrote the class plan on the blackboard. steve smiled as he read your note before shoving it into his pocket. as he turned his attention back to the professor, listening to their boring dull voice drone on, steve began to think of all the ways he could talk to you again and before he knew it, the class was almost over. he had wasted the entire class daydreaming about you, and all the ways he could ask you out. with five minutes left until the end of the class, steve began to construct his question, putting all of his thought and creativity into it.

steve tore the corner of his page before resting the small triangle of paper on the corner of your desk. you looked at steve as a smile began to creep onto your lips before taking the note, unfolding the delicate paper to read, ‘did you want to grab something to eat afterwards?’

shit. your smile quickly faded into a frown as you turned the small piece of paper over before you began to write a response. steve saw you place the paper on his desk, causing his breath to hitch. he unfolded the paper and saw one word.

‘raincheck?’

steve weakly, no, pathetically smiled before turning back to the professor. you had rejected him, by now steve has gotten used to the rejection of the people he often sought out romantically but this one was different, this rejection hurt. it also was not the last rejection. over the coming weeks steve had asked you a number of times to go out for dinner, a movie, even a study session but you always had an excuse. more often then not they sounded genuine, but it didn’t help the fact that every time you asked for a rain check, it felt like a kick in the guts for steve.

it was getting close to the end of the first semester, in fact it was halloween night and steve was still having little luck in wooing you. everyone within the class had gotten dressed up in celebration, most of the people were in fact attending a variety of parties after the class had finished, which left everyone in a good mood. steve had been watching you all class. he couldn’t quite figure out what your costume was meant to be, but that didn’t matter, you were utterly gorgeous.

you were wearing a cream silk dress matched with fishnet stockings and an old pair of doc martins. you and steve hadn’t spoken for a few weeks now, your interactions becoming increasingly awkward with the growing amount of rejections but that didn’t stop steve from trying think of a creative way to compliment your costume but he had gotten lost in his own world and before he knew it, the professor had dismissed everyone.

shoving his things into his bag, steve made his way outside. you were most likely already gone and far out of steves reach so he headed towards the parking lot with his head hung low, but as he reached his car, he heard your voice, causing his head to bounce up.

“fuck!” you cursed, watching the bus drive down the poorly lit street. “fuck!” you repeated, kicking a few loose stone that innocently laid on the pavement.

steve stood by his car, watching you closely as you kicked the ground and cursed. “need a ride?” steve yelled out, his arm resting on the top of his car as he opened his driver door.

turning around, you saw steve looking at you helplessly. you felt terrible using him for a ride but yet again you had missed the bus, and you were desperate. “are you sure?” you asked, beginning to walk closer to steve to avoid shouting across the parking lot.

“i wouldn’t be askin’ if i wasn’t.” steve joked weakly, his soul still admittedly a little defeated after your repeated rejections.

you offer steve a warm smile before wandering towards his car. steve got into the drivers seat and started the car as you pulled open the front passenger door, throwing your bag in the backseat before sitting in the front seat by his side.

“thank you.” you hummed, beginning to buckle in your seatbelt as steve pulled out of his parking spot.

“anytime.” steve grinned, hoping that things no longer had to be awkward between the two of you. he looked across at you briefly, noticing your dressed had hiked up, exposing most of your thighs before focusing back on the road. “neat costume.” he complimented.

letting out a soft laugh you asked, “you know who i am?”

“uh,” steve awkwardly laughed before bluntly replying, “no. but, you still look hot.” he smirked, turning out of the parking lot and onto the main street which led right into the centre of town.

a laugh erupted from your stomach before you began to evaluate steves costume, finding some familiarity in its design. “and who are you meant to be? hans solo?” you giggled.

“yes.” he answered immediately, almost excited you had correctly guessed his costume. “a few years back me and dustin,” he paused for a moment, realising you might not know who dustin henderson was before continuing, “some kid i used to baby sit went as hans solo and luke skywalker.” steve chuckled, remembering the night fondly.

for a brief moment you laughed along together, almost like none of that awkward tension had ever existed, but at your laughter faded you found yourself staring a steve a little longer then you should have which led you to blurt out, “did you wanna grab something to eat?”

steve wasn’t entirely sure he had heard you correctly. “dinner?” he repeated, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked across at you before focusing back on the road.

“ya-yeah.” you shrugged.

“sure, yeah totally.” he replied enthusiastically, ecstatic that you were finally asking him.

“something low key though.” you quickly added. “no enzo’s or uh-” you paused for a moment, trying to think of any other nice restaurants in town but nothing came to mind.

“no enzo’s.” steve repeated sarcastically, making you smile before he took a right turn. “low key, i promise.”

⋆☆

“i really needed this.” you hummed, picking up a few fries from the brown paper bag sitting between you and steve. “m’thank you.” you mumbled, your mouth full of food as you let out a soft giggle.

“anytime.” steve smiled, watching you as you grabbed another handful of shoe string fries. “so what finally changed your mind?” he asked, taking a sip of a brown bubbly soda from the red and white styrofoam cup. your eyebrows pinched together, confused by what steve meant. “s’just you’ve said no to getting dinner with me for ‘bout a week now.” steve weakly joked, trying not to sound too hurt by your previous rejections.

“uhm.” you frowned, finishing your mouthful of food before looking at steve with your full attention. “i was worried i’d scare you away.”

“scare me away?” he nervously laughed, knowing that there was nothing in this world that would scare him away. “trust me, if anyone were to do the scarin’ it’d be me.”

you let out a weak chuckle, amused by steves attempts to try make you feel better. “no.” you spoke softly, combing a piece of hair behind your ear as you whispered, “i’ve got a kid.” steve remained silent, completely and utterly dumbfounded by this minuscule piece of information. news like that had often spread like wildfire in hawkins, so to see steve sitting in front of you like a deer in head lights had told you that he was one of the few people that didn’t know. “please say something.” you spoke quietly.

“a kid.” steve repeated, his brain desperately trying to process the new information. “a kid?” he repeated, this time sounding more like a question.

you nodded, “some guy knocked me up the end of senior year, he skipped town once he found out ‘nd i’ve been on my own ever since.” you explained, weakly shrugging your shoulders as you continued to watch steve.

“wow.” he breathed. you wiped your greasy fingers on a brown napkin before noticing steved furrowed eyebrows. “why’d you think that would scare me?” he asked.

you shrugged, most guys you had mentioned this little piece of information to would bolt at the first opportunity. “most guys get freaked out.” you explained, now preparing yourself for an unbelievable amount of questions about your situation.

“whats their name?” he asked.

you were a little startled at steve unerving calmness, but you cautiously answered. “ashley. after my grandmother.” you paused for a moment to look at steve who was patiently waiting for you to continue. “she actually helped me throughout my pregnancy.”

steve put his styrofoam cup in his cup holder. “i bet shes adorable.” he smiled.

“she is!” you grinned, grabbing your purse from your bag and showing steve the small polaroid of you and your daughter on her first birthday. “i need to get a new photo, shes grown up so much.” you thought out loud.

a silence fell between you and steve as you shoved your purse into your backpack. there was something about steve that made you so comfortable around him, it wasn’t often that you found a guy from hawkins that was this genuine and accepting.

“so what happened to that guy?” steve asked quietly, very clearly asking with caution.

“he ran off.” you shrugged. “haven’t been with anyone since.” you giggled, taking a sip from your drink. steve just about choked on air making your giggle turn into a belly laugh. “shit sorry. to much information.”

he shook his head, managing to cough out, “no, no.” once steve had composed himself and your laugh as simmered down he looked over at you.

“sorry, i haven’t really done this since high school.” you added shyly.

“done what?”

“gone on a date? or whatever we’re calling this.” you spoke slowly, trying to avoid more embarrassment.

steve smiled, now realizing you were just nervous. “we can call it whatever you want.” he spoke barely above a whisper.

the air was thick and the corners of the windows were slowly beginning to fog. you and steve stared at each other, the tension between you was undeniable as your body instinctively moved in a little closer.

“i really want to kiss you.” you whispered, trying to hide your smiled as you blushed profusely.

steve moved in a little closer, his lips hovering over yours. he didn’t intend on teasing, or keep you waiting, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever be this close to you again and he needed a moment to admire and memorize every little detail about your face. but after what felt like a dreaded eternity, his lips finally connected with yours. at first he was soft, not going too fast but when your hands grasped onto his chest, he just about died.

and seconds later, kissing you with every fibre in his body, steve had one hand planted on your waist while the other held onto your cheek, pulling you closer. everything had happened so quickly, you almost didn’t realize when steve had pulled you onto his lap. feeling more and more desperate with every passing second, steve leant upwards, kissing you like it was his only purpose on this earth. you fumbled against steve as your fingers entangled themselves in his - perfect - hair.

steves hands inched their way up your thighs, his hands rubbing against the rough denim covering your warm skin. “this is moving so fast.” you moaned into his lips, your heavy breathing filling the small space of the car.

“muh- mah-maybe yeah.” steve breathed, his forehead resting against yours as your chests heaved.

you let out a soft giggle, your eyes wandering down to steves lips. “yeah, but fuck it anyways right?” you breathed, your hips wriggling with impatience.

“right.”

your lips almost instantly reconnected, hungrier and more passionate then the last kiss you had exchanged. soft moans and whimpers left your lips as steves hands attached themselves to your hips, guiding them. steve was hot to the touch. as his fingers slid beneath the thin cotton of your shirt, they warmed your skin instantly. slowly, your hands slid down from steves hair to grasp onto his belt, the very action causing a whimper to erupt from his throat. smiling into the kiss, your hands began to fiddle with the cool metal belt clasp. the windows of the car began to fog up, you we’re almost certain you could feel the car moving.

“ah,” a whiny moan fell from your lips as you continued grinding down onto steves lap. “are we rea-uh really doin’ this?” you asked, slowing your movements to create a euphoric sensation in your stomach.

“oh god-” steve whimpered, his head falling back as your hands grasped onto steves neck, your thumb gently rubbing his warm skin. “pla-uh i really hope so.” he breathed, his breath erratic like a panting dog as his hands slide down from your torso to the meat of your ass.

your mouth dropped open as your head fell back, the sensation of steves lips sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin of your neck driving you insane. “why, uh,” your hands slid up into steves hair, bunching it in your fists and your senses became overwhelmed. “why don’t we-uh go inside?” you giggled.

80 notes · View notes

the-uninformed-zennial · 3 days

Text

So, uh, Fable ended.

And now I’m gonna be sappy on main.

I started watching Fable about half a year before I started being active in the fandom, around the time I started falling in love with my partner @hoardingpuffin . Watching Rae and Caspian’s relationship develop was actually part of what helped me realize that the things I was feeling for them were romantic and not just platonic. Surprisingly enough, that’s just the beginning of the profound effect Fable had on me.

I had never really interacted with fandom spaces before Fable. But when I caught up with lore sometime in November 2022, I decided to join the discord. It was a crazy place. Being someone who’d never really been in a server before I was completely overwhelmed and nervous, so I didn’t interact much for the first month or so.

Then I discovered that, despite the incredible love for the project, no one had made a “which character are you?” Quiz yet, so, I decided to fuck it and make one myself. The response I got to that was unlike any I had seen before. I was getting pinged weeks afterwards with people’s results and it made me really happy to see how much my work was appreciated by everyone in the community. It got me thinking about other ways I might be able to give back.

Then, as you all know, the stream “Call” and it’s partner “Response” came out on Ghosty and HeyHay’s channels. I’d been feeling so similarly to the two characters, dealing with my long distance relationship with Puffin. So, I took those feelings and the words Heyhay and Ghosty had used to convey them for their characters and put them into a song.

And then something insane happened.

Everyone liked it. Like, everyone liked it. This crappy recording I made at 2 AM suddenly got hundreds and then thousands of views when I put it on SoundCloud and YouTube. It was insane. I had written some songs before, but they’d always been ridiculed, so having a large group of people like the fable community enjoy something that I wrote was absolutely insane to me, and it encouraged me to make more.

I found myself being inspired by the characters in fable, connecting with different storylines or sentences said on streams. I found myself writing songs, one after another after another. At one point I was writing a song a week for a period of about three months. I had never experienced this amount of raw creativity before, but every time I put a new song out, I only got encouraged to make more.

And then people started to ask me when I was going to put them on Spotify. And that was another moment that everything changed. I realized if I was gonna put these out there in such an official way I didn’t want it to just be a bunch of crappy recorded singles. So I needed to make an album.

That was something I had never considered doing before. I knew nothing about music editing or sound mixing. Up until that point all of my songs had been made on GarageBand at 2 AM with very little editing or mixing going into them. So, I started saving for a real music editing program and within a few months I got there.

Then came the actual making of the album. I took a few months off in the summer and just dove headfirst into it. Every spare moment I wasn’t modding for the Sherbathon, or the discord, or streaming my own lore, was spent working on those songs. And while looking back now I wish I knew what I know now about music editing, I’m so glad I did what I did. Putting that album out, seeing how you all responded to it… it made me realize that this is something I love, something that I don’t have to wait for someone else’s permission or teaching to do.

This fandom is the reason I’m a musical artist and that is something I don’t think I will ever be able to express the importance of enough.

As much as I could talk about the unending support and encouragement I received from the wonderful cast members throughout my experience making the album, or how being given the role of mod on the fandom discord taught me so much about how to be a creator in my own right, or even the amazing experience I had being able to make songs for the lore. When it comes right down to it, it was the community, cast and all, that impacted my life in the profound way it has been. So thank you, each and every one of you, whether you are a cast member, a fan, a fellow mod, or even just someone who streamed a song you didn’t have any context for. Thank you for changing my life, for giving me the encouragement to pursue my dreams.

Thank you Fable SMP cast, crew, and community 💕

#Fuck this hit so much harder than I thought it was going to #I hope you guys liked the finale though #fable smp #fablesmp #mcytblr

80 notes · View notes

purplealmonds · 3 days

Text

Experimenting with new ways to present my Mononoke 3D models. Watching them tenbin spin off-sync is oddly mesmerizing - like a pair of hanging mobiles swaying in the breeze.

These will be the first of (hopefully) a series!

Q&A below the cut!

How did you create these models? Using gratuitous amounts of reference images, I made schematics in Adobe Illustrator and/or Photoshop. Then I import the 2D images into Google Sketchup 2017 to sculpt! I used the camera animation feature to cobble together a spinning animation, which I then exported as a MP4 and converted to a GIF in Photoshop.

Why did you make these models? They were for my most recent Mononoke fan art. A lot of work went into these models, so I wanted to showcase them more thoroughly! Additionally, I noticed that fan artists had difficulty depicting these complicated props on-model. I want to contribute a resource which this community can draw from!

What other models do you intend to create? Coming down the immediate pipeline are the classic exorcism sword and medicine box. Later on, I want to tackle their 2024 counterparts. The current version of the 2024 sword model is too messy and needs remodeling. The 2024 medicine box hasn't been modeled yet, as I haven't collected enough references.

May I use these as reference? As long as it isn't being used for the likes NFTs and/or generative AI, yes! Credit is appreciated but not mandatory as these designs don't belong to me. I would love if you tagged me in your creations though!

Can you render these in a different camera angle? Yes, but it'll have to be an image rather than a GIF as I'm not familiar enough with SketchUp's animation tools to do much beyond this. Please send requests to my ask box!

Can you render these in different poses? Send me an ask with a description of the specific pose. Depending on its complexity I may be able to pull it off.

Can you make a colorized version of these? The way I have the lighting set up would make the colors overexposed, and I'm not keen on trial-and-error-ing my way to color accuracy. Please refer to my non-animated turnarounds instead!

Are these models available for download? At the moment, I'm not comfortable sharing my working files. Please don't pester me about this, as it'll likely discourage me from changing my mind in the future.

#mononoke 2007 #mononoke 2024 #モノノ怪 #mononoke #tenbin #gif #fan art #purplealmonds #2024

85 notes · View notes

cultofdixon · 2 days

Text

Relapsing back to old habits

Daryl Dixon [PLATONIC] • She/Her Pronouns • Youngest Dixon Sister!Reader • It’s been years since the world fell and Daryl thought you would tell him anything that bothered you. But here you were finding out your brother found your stash • ANGST/SFW • TW: Relapses / Marijuana / Scars / Injuries

Requested by: Anon

“Y/N?” Daryl called out when he entered the house after taking his morning watch. “I could use a hand with the snares around the gates”

Nothing. Which…was weird for his sister. But even then, she’s not the excited little girl that would come running at a full sprint to greet her brother anymore. She still would greet him with her presence minus the bone crushing hug.

To be honest with you, Daryl wished she didn’t grow up in the conditions that she did. Let alone grow up in an apocalypse. The end of the world changed everybody.

Daryl decided to make his way to her bedroom to see if she was in there. The Dixons stay with the Grimes given Carol moved to the Kingdom. The two help with the kids, ever since Rick’s disappearance.

It was a lot.

Whoever didn’t feel for Michonne, was just an asshole. Imagine finding out you’re pregnant while your husband explodes.

Then there’s Daryl, you’ve lost so much in this lifetime that the closest thing to a brother just is gone with zero remains…who knows what’s he’s battling internally.

The last thing he’d want is to lose his sister in all this mess. He wanted to spend time with her in that moment but not finding her was irritating him.

“Where is that girl” Daryl frowns knocking on her bedroom door only for no reply so he decides to open it.

He likes to remember when they used to live in a one bedroom apartment with Merle.

During arguments Y/N would storm off and close her door in Daryl’s face that it annoyed him to where he’d tell her “don’t make me remove this door”

But he never did. Hell, he added a lock to the door because of Merle’s high escapades getting more aggressive

Daryl checked around the room for any signs of her leaving but even if Y/N is an adult now and doesn’t need him to know where she’s at 24/7…it’s a security thing for her for him to know. Her calling card is leaving her lucky rabbit’s foot that he got her during their prison days on her night stand to tell him she’s still around. She doesn’t leave the community without it.

As he went to pick it up, he kicked something under her bed and while part of him shouldn’t check it. He decided to do so anyway.

To Daryl’s surprise…a rather unpleasant one

“Fuck…” Daryl frowns opening the box to find her stash. It was two boxes of smokes, a baggie with what he assumes to be weed, and the obvious lighter. I thought she quit he only started to feel worse.

The fuck you have there?!

U-Uhm. Weed?

Y/N. You didn’t get that from Merle did you?! His shit is always laced with something! Please fucking tell me—-

No! I didn’t! I got it from a friend…I wasn’t going to smoke it

For the love of whatever god out there. Don’t ever.

Daryl it’s not going to kill me…

“C’mon Dog, gotta grab my gear before Daryl comes” Her voice echoed the hall causing Daryl to freeze in his place knowing damn well he won’t be able to escape.

Dog nudged the door open with his snoot and stared directly at Daryl. He found a Mal pup in the woods and thought Y/N could use a companion when he was gone looking for Rick.

All the eldest Dixon could do was stare directly at Dog and wait for his sister to shortly come in to notice the staring contest. More importantly the box where she keeps her stash being open in Daryl’s lap.

They’re just cigarettes, bubs. You smoke them

Yeah, don’t mean by baby sister should

As much as I appreciate you being the father figure in my life over Merle. You gotta realize it’s the end of the world. Once the pack is gone, I won’t do it anymore.

You promise?

If it helps you sleep at night, Dar. I promise

Y/N was now the one staring blankly at Daryl as she shoves her hands in her coat pockets not uttering a word. But also not freaking out either. She didn’t want this to become an argument so she walked toward him taking the box from his hands and setting it on the nightstand. Next to be grabbed was her rabbit’s foot as she attaches it to her belt loop on her pants.

“My bow is downstairs, I gotta pack my bag. Mind waiting down there?” Y/N knew what his original intentions were, given Aaron was informed what he was doing and when he saw her walking the community he informed her of her brother’s whereabouts.

The eldest Dixon decided to listen and leave to meet her downstairs.

Soon the two were walking the woods tracking a deer, Y/N glances every once in a while toward Dog who happily trotted beside her in a sweater she made for him. Ignoring the worry filled silence coming from her brother. She seems to have to break the silence more nowadays.

“Any news? On Rick?”

“Nah…was thinking of expandin’ my search. Go further up the river”

“Mm.” Y/N frowns turning away from her brother to check some damage done to a tree to see if it’s a walker or something else.

Daryl watches her carefully noticing her saddened expression after telling her plans about heading further away in the search for Rick. He only snapped out of it when they heard the snap of twigs and spotting the deer.

Before Daryl could even ready his crossbow, Y/N stopped him which he then noticed the two babies with the deer.

“You promised”

“So did you” Y/N frowns walking away to go further into the woods without disturbing the deer and in hopes of finding something else.

You said you’d stay this time

I am gonna stay. Michonne just had RJ and the community needs help.

Is that all?

What do you mean?

The end of the world took a lot from me too Daryl. The last thing I’d want is to lose you too

You won’t ever lose me, bug.

You don’t know that.

Y/N…what do you want me to do? To reassure yea that I’m not going anywhere.

Please just stay. Go out until nightfall, come home at the end of the day. Just so I know you’re alive and not…

Okay. I promise.

You better not be telling me what I want to hear.

Bug, I promise.

The arrow pierced right into the raccoon as the squeak it made only hurt Y/N. But meat is meat nowadays. As she went to retrieve her arrow and her catch, Daryl couldn’t hold it any longer.

“Why’d yea hide that stuff from me?”

“Because I’m an adult. I’m allowed to have some privacy with my belongings”

“Fine. But you said you stopped smoking. Hell—-You’ve got weed! Where the fuck do you come across that?!”

“That’s none of your damn business!” Y/N snapped at him as she felt the regret, she felt the pain she’s been internalizing—numbing. “I can handle myself, Daryl. I ain’t an addict like Merle. I ain’t gonna go crazy and tear myself apart just because of some marijuana and cigarettes”

“How can you be for certain?”

“Because my brother never coming home does the job” Y/N felt the tears come on as she quickly turned away to try and stop them. Daryl tried to rest his hand on her shoulder but she pulled away. “You ain’t the only one to lose Rick, but why does losing that man mean I have to suffer and never see the only blood I have left”

“Y/N…”

Y/N tensed to the sound of crunching as Daryl quickly readied his crossbow and shot at the sound. One of many squirrels they’d be getting out there. As he passed her to grab his catch, her tears fell.

“When we found the prison, you promised then you’d always be there for me.” Y/N formed fists to contain her anger and slow the tears. “Then Merle died and you were wrecked…so I took on a lot because I couldn’t process my feelings. He was a dirtbag. But he was my brother. It killed a part of me that I wanted an escape that wasn’t harming myself directly. I couldn’t find shit then so I suffered. Then you got kidnapped and I destroyed Carol’s house in Alexandria. I tore off the wallpaper, broke all the dining room chairs, threatened to kill Spencer and broke all the glassware…I thought I had lost you then and I couldn’t escape that old familiar feeling…then the day after Rick died, you left and I cried for days. I lost someone important to me permanently and temporary at the same time. He meant a lot to me too, Daryl. He saved me countless times and I will forever be in the Grimes’ debt. But why did you have to go back on your promise all the fucking time?” She pulled herself away storming off in a sense as Daryl quickly picked up his catch and followed her.

“Y/N—-I was—-“

“Nah. None of that “I was doing this for more than me” crap. Because Michonne would understand if you took breaks and shit. But you never did. Never even bothered to check on me when you did come home…”

“Y/N…”

“I was 15 when this shit started. Now I’m in my 20s and I want the whole fucking world to just burn because of how many times it’s burned me…” Y/N frowns, tripping on an outgrown tree root resulting in Dog quickly sniffing her and Daryl rushing to her side being pushed off of her at first. “Why did you leave me? You’re my big brother and you left me” she sobbed leaning into Daryl as he wrapped himself tightly around her feeling the tears wet his eyes.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to…I thought I owed him something. I do owe him my life and just…I’m sorry I stopped trying for yea. I should’ve done better”

Y/N simply continued to sob and latched onto her brother feeling him tighten his hold.

“Please don’t leave me anymore…take me with you or just stay longer”

A few hours passed since then and Y/N found herself on the porch steps with Dog laid by her feet while she took out one of her cigarettes and her lighter. She struggled a bit for the light and it felt like a sign when Daryl handed his zippo to her after stepping out for his own smoke.

“Supporting my bad habits?”

“Nah, joining” Daryl brought himself to sit beside her causing Dog to stir and bring himself to rest his head on his knee. As Daryl starts to pet the pup, Y/N lit her cigarette smoking it a bit before sharing with her brother. “So I have a proposal”

“You leaving again and trying to butter me up with something?”

“Nah. I want yea to come with me.” Daryl stated watching the confusion write itself on her face. “Two sets of eyes are better than one…and Dog”

“…if you have something of Rick, maybe Dog can pick up something” Y/N suggests taking her cigarette back. “We could make camp out there”

“Exactly. Even visit the other communities.” Daryl started, watching her light up slightly and give him a more curious look. “See Carol and Zeke”

Her smile that he’s missed for so long returned from something as simple as seeing old friends. But she was also happy to have her brother back…

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction

58 notes · View notes