#There ain't no iguana

[blueeyeddarkknight]

Val and werner herzog hanging out on the set of wonderland

Val and Werner collaborated together for the movie "bad lieutenant : port of call new Orleans" with Nicolas cage.

@foreverralways here it is 🥰

#val kilmer #werner herzog #His eating sounds 💀 #Werners English skills 😭 #Nicolas cage #Bad lieutenant port call of new Orleans #There ain't no iguana #It's a very small vid

[confusedlesbianbitxh]

Sadie and Carter: When have we ever done something reckless or irresponsible

Bast, Bes, Amos, Zia, Walt, pretty much everyone who has ever had to deal with these two: Would you like that in chronological order or alphabetized?

#kane chronicles #carter kane #sadie kane #walt stone #zia rashid #riordanverse #These two have done some shit #You can't tell me people ain't at their wits end trying to not kill them #like Sadie is causing explotions left and right #and Carter is noble to the point of being suicidal #Ms. I-used-a-spell-that-hasnt-been-successfully-used-since-ancient-time-and-died-for-two-minutes #Mr. I-tried-to-take-on-two-fully-grown-armed-magicians-and-got-turned-into-an-iguana

[kirkklan2]

317 - "This Ain't No Tragedy"

#ArtEveryday #art #art every day #timmy sean #a tale from the other side #This ain't no tragedy #lizard #trying to aim for something like an iguana #idk #imagery is interesting. #Spotify

[sempersirens]

yes, chef

masterlist

based on this request from the lovely @cool-iguana

summary: joel miller is the head chef of a prestigious michelin star restaurant in the city. after working for him for over a year, you're determined to not let his ill-temper and cutting words dampen your spirit and love for your career. you won't give in at chipping away at his tough exterior, living for the hope of finding something sweeter below the surface

pairing: no-outbreak, chef!joel x f!reader

content/warnings: angst, joel is a cocky piece of shit, hurt/comfort if you squint

a/n: so i've been binging the bear. what of it. if you have culinary experience i am so sorry, i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about. i literally just watch masterchef.

"I need that grilled octopus plated. Now. This ain't a fuckin' old folk’s home."

"Yes, chef!"

Joel Miller was mean. That was the first thing you had learnt upon stepping into his kitchen over a year ago.

You'd know what you were getting yourself into before you'd even arrived at the restaurant for your first day. Joel's reputation preceded him; he was notorious for running a tight and intimate regime, so successfully that he'd earned a Michelin star to his name. The restaurant itself was a small but sweet seafood and farm-to-table bistro in the middle of the city.

It had taken some settling in, to put it lightly. You had your fair share of culinary experience having worked your way around Europe as a poissonier after graduating culinary school. Still, the other chefs at Joel's restaurant had been working in kitchens since you were in diapers, as they frequently enjoyed reminding you.

Despite the high expectations and fast pace of the kitchen, you soon found your feet.

"On the pass for saucier, chef."

Luke, the restaurant's saute chef, rushed to your side, saucepan in hand. He delicately poured an olive oil, shallot, and herb dressing onto the tentacle, stepping back to indicate the dish was ready to be taken out onto the floor.

"Good job, sweetheart." Luke winked at you, placing a light tap on your ass.

As much as you loved your profession, degradingly misogynist gestures were extremely common. You'd made the mistake of calling out a sous chef earlier on in your career, soon realising how ingrained this kind of mindset was in the older generations you found in a kitchen.

So, you gritted your teeth and got on with it.

"This is a kitchen, not a brothel. Feel each other up on your own damn time." Joel called across the room, making you thankful for the heat of the kitchen masking the blush across your cheeks.

"Yes, chef. Sorry, chef." Luke responded, tail between his legs.

You continued preparing your seafood dishes, feeling Joel's presence lurking behind you.

"Waitin' for that sea bass to come back t'life?"

"No, chef."

"Then fuckin' grill it."

"Yes, chef."

"Too busy thinkin' 'bout your fuckin' boyfriend over there if you ask me."

You were a good chef; not even a decent chef, but a really fucking good one. You put your everything into your dishes, and Joel knew that, meaning his degrading comments stung even more sharply.

Sometimes it felt as though he specifically targeted you. You had wondered if it was down to your age, or maybe simply because you were a woman. You never did anything that warranted such scathing words, yet you were the main recipient of them.

You did what you do best, and just got on with it. You carried on the rest of the night enduring his small but cutting digs in your direction, as well as a slap on the ass from Luke after plating up each dish.

Maybe it was the heat of the kitchen, or your patience wearing thin, but when you'd braved a particularly vicious snide comment from Joel back-to-back with a far too over-familiar hand on the waist from a passing Luke, you snapped.

"Fuck!" You shouted, slamming your fists down, realising just too late that your left hand was in perfect line with the grill.

Your reflexes kicked in instantly, pulling your hand to your chest with a pathetically weak hiss. Thanks to your prior outburst, everybody's gaze was already fixated on your station. Your eyes caught Joel's, fury burning on his face.

"Out. Now." He ordered.

Now it was your turn to tuck your tail between your legs, still clutching your hand as you barged out of the back door.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't you fucking dare cry.

Blatantly, your body wasn't listening to you. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes before rapidly falling down your face. You had tried to stand up for yourself, to make a stand, and you'd failed miserably.

You were so in your own head that you hadn't heard the kitchen door open, the sound of a small cough causing you to not so discreetly wipe your eyes with the back of your hand.

"You're not fuckin' blubbing, are you?" Joel scoffed.

"What's your fucking problem?" You spat, surprising yourself with your tone. Fuck it, you thought. Probably fired anyway, may as well go for the jugular.

"Why are you so mean to me, and only me? I work my ass off in that kitchen, day in, day out. Harder than anyone else, including you. You don't give any of the others half the shit I get. Is it because you're some soon-to-be dried up lonely chef with just your ten-year-old Time Magazine front cover to keep you company at night that you've got such a stick up your ass? Or are you just a sexist pig?"

He whistled and raised his eyebrows, pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his back pocket, taking one for himself before offering you one. You accepted, leaning forward for him to light the end for you. As he flicked the lighter, you flitted your eyes up to meet his, which were already trained directly on you.

The second thing you had learned about Joel Miller, not so shortly after the first, was that he was beautiful. Whenever you caught his all-consuming, hazelnut eyes lingering on you, you couldn’t help but feel butterflies swarm in your stomach. It had been hell swallowing your attraction for him for well over a year; you knew the reason his curt words and stoic attitude hurt you so much was because you were desperate to impress him. Not because of his status or accolades, but simply because of the kind of man he was. He was rough around the edges and cruel just for the sake of it, but every now and then you would catch a tenderness to him. Namely, when his daughters came to visit the restaurant and he would scoop them up in his big arms, transforming into a loving teddy-bear as soon as he stepped out of the kitchen.

You stayed close to him after pulling away, both of you taking a drag in silence.

"S'only five years old, actually."

"What?"

"My Time Magazine cover. Only came out five years ago."

"Right." You suppressed a laugh, not wanting to give him the satisfaction that you'd found his comment humorous.

Another couple of minutes of silence passed as you soaked in the distant noises of traffic from the inner-city; the mixture of the far-off bustle, the warm summer night, and the nicotine rushing to your head made your outburst feel like a distant memory.

"You any better at pouring a whiskey than usin' a grill?" Joel asked, breaking your momentary tranquility.

"Excuse me?"

He didn't respond, rather, half-opened the kitchen door and barked for the sous chef to cover for him.

"Let's take care of that hand'a yours."

The adrenaline coursing through your blood had shifted your focus from the searing pain in your palm, which now came rushing back to you all at once. It could’ve been worse, but you were eager to ease the tight stinging as quickly as possible.

You followed Joel through to the back office, the commotion of the kitchen down the hall a honeyed murmur through the closed door. He placed two tumblers and a half-full bottle of whiskey in front of you.

“If you’d be so kind.”

As you poured the drinks, he rifled through the overflowing shelves for the never used first-aid kit.

He took a swig from his glass before taking your hand in his, turning your palm upwards and resting it on his lap. He worked in silence, brushing over the wound with cleaning solution, gently dragging a thumb soothingly up the side of your hand each time you hissed through your teeth at the pain.

His touch was uncharacteristically gentle; he took his time in applying the antibiotic cream, rubbing smooth circles over your blistering skin.

“So, you and Luke an item or somethin’?” He asked, a hint of something coating his voice that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“Are you serious? God, no. He just seems to have a problem keeping his hands to himself.”

Joel’s head snapped up, meeting your gaze for the first time since you’d sat down opposite one another.

“I’d never have let him touch you like that if I knew.”

Unsure how to respond, you took another swig from your glass to keep your mouth occupied.

“M’sorry, by the way. For always bein’ so harsh on you. I just know you’re talented-”

“Don’t give me that I just want you to reach your full potential shit. I know you don’t care enough for that-”

“I don’t care? That what you really think?”

His tone was softer now, if you didn’t know him better, you would’ve sworn you could hear a twang of sadness in his voice.

He gently dressed your wound, taking care in placing the adhesive and securing it with a bandage. He tucked the loose end into place but kept a gentle grip on your hand, rubbing his thumb over your padded palm absent-mindedly.

“Course I fuckin’ care, that’s the damn problem.”

“You’ve got a real funny way of showing it.” You scoffed.

He poured you both another round, taking a swig of his drink before rubbing a hand over his mouth, a laugh creeping across his face.

“You were right earlier, I am fuckin’ washed up and lonely. I should’ve left, got more than enough damn cash than I know what to do with. Nothin’ I want more than to disappear to a farmhouse somewhere w’my girls, leave all this pompous shit behind.”

“So, what’s stopping you?” You asked softly, looking up at him through your eyelashes.

“You walkin’ into my kitchen like a damn angel sent from above.”

A breath caught in your throat. It must be the whiskey, you thought, he’s probably loosened up and horny, trying his luck for a token of your appreciation for him putting you back together.

“I thought t’myself, how can I up and leave now, when the most beautiful woman I ever saw has just walked into my kitchen?”

“You’re drunk.” You tried to rationalise, not believing the words tumbling out of his mouth.

He held his hand out flat, as still as a surgeon’s, as if it would somehow prove he was telling the truth.

“M’not, see. I just thought you n’that idiot in there were fuckin’.”

“Oh my god,” your eyes widened, leaning back in your chair at the realisation finally piecing his actions together.

“You were jealous.”

“Of him? Never.”

“Don’t lie to me now, Joel. You thought we were together and you were jealous. That’s why you were always so fuckin’ mean to me.”

His cheeks reddened as he brought a hand to the back of his neck.

“Maybe I was. Hated thinkin’ of a girl like you endin’ up with a piece of shit like him.”

“In comparison to what, someone like you?” You leant forward, placing your glass on the side before rising from your chair to stand in between his legs, resting your hands on the sides of his rough face.

“Now, sweetheart, would that be so bad?”

#joel miller x reader #my fic #joel miller x f!reader #joel tlou #joel miller x female reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic #pedrostories #the last of us #request #tlou fanfiction

[tsuga-of-mars]

GALLAPETS - MJ the Iguana

Ian and Mickey rescued Mary Jane (MJ) from one of their grow house stops. She loves basking in the glow of grow lamps, and in the dash of the their ambulance on warmer days while the guys run their route. @gallacrafts

I just couldn't get the idea of an Iguana out of my for them out of my head. She's cool enough for Mickey and quirky enough for Ian. Plus you guys know I love my paper crafts.

- - - - - - - - -

It was the third stop of the day, Alvins Grow house on 12th and MLK.

"What's with the lizard Al?" Mickey skeptically eyes the reptile sitting between a row of plants under warm light.

"One of my guys brought her, stupidly took her as a payment for money owned. Now I'm not sure to do with her"

Ians already making friends with the green creature, scratching her head and using the same pitched voice he uses with Lips baby.

"Mick...?" Ian looks at him hopefully with practiced puppy dog eyes

"Oh no, no way Red. We ain't taking home a freaking lizard!"

. . .

Thirty minutes later Ian is sitting in the passenger seat, cardboard box carefully balanced on his lap

" You Gallaghers, always taking in strays. What do these things even eat?"

"Come on Mick, isn't she cute. We'll figure it out"

"Shes alright looking, like her mohawk or what ever"

"What'd yah want to call her?"

#gallacrafts #gallapets #Theme 26 #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #shameless #ian x mickey #gallavich art #MJ the Iguana #Mickey totally names her Mary Jane #They take her into the Alibi too just chilling on their shoulders #paper crafts #multimedia #She has become the unofficial mascot of Gallavich Security

[peacelykerockets]

"What are these fuckin' iguanas doing on my coffee table."

"There ain't no iguana."

"...Yeah, there are."

"There ain't no iguana."

"What the fuck is that?"

[taps it]

“Fuckin Iguana”

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009)

#movies #nicolas cage #film #Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans #iguana #val kilmer #00s #2000s

[delafiseaseses]

Ever think about the fatphobia and ableism of Gizmo from Fallout 1's characterisation? I have and I feel the need to say something on the matter because I've never seen anyone point it out and it is very in-your-face (I also get slightly derailed talking about Junktown's endings, but it's tangentially connected).

So, Gizmo. He's an example of some of the oldest of stereotypes about fat people. Lazy, greedy, slobbish. To illustrait my point here's a line given about Gizmo to the question 'Does he have any weaknesses?' that I think is telling of the writing's attitude towards him.

'Only that he thinks he doesn't have any. Well, that and he's a fat slob, who can't move for a damn. He's got to have his guards help him move around. Even then, they gotta use a little tricycle. Heh heh.'

Sinthia, who says this, does have good reason to dislike Gizmo (him taking 25% of her earnings and all), but it's an almost entirely unprompted statement. I very much suspect that 'Heh heh.' is how the writer of that line felt about writing that line basically saying "Hey, ain't it funny that this big man cannot physically walk to bed and needs assistance?".

And, of course, Gizmo is the only fat person in Fallout 1 and one of the only people in any Fallout game who explicitly cannot walk.

Very decidedly Not Great, all of that. Not unsurprising, of course, it's a very textbook example of this kinda thing, but still acknowledgement of flaws and bias is important if one wants to appreciate art.

I also might as well get into the fact Junktown's endings used to be far grayer. The conventionally attractive Killian Darkwater's sense of 'frontier justice' keeping Junktown small due to his 'rigid sensibilities'. if you side with this cop. Even in the final game there's certain undertones to Killian and his ending and some dialogue. Going back to Sinthia she says "Killian sure as hell wouldn't put up with me or my kind." (that being sex workers). And the cannon ending slide sure enough says "Killian Darkwater takes firm control of Junktown, drives out the last of Gizmo's kind, and then enforces his own brand of frontier justice. Life is fair and safe under his law." the last of Gizmo's kind a choice of words that. It says 'Life is fair and safe under his law.', but... wonder what happened to Sinthia. I fear she wouldn't be 'under his law'.

So, they changed the Junktown endings and why? Well, one side they have a stereotype that's very conventionally a 'villian' and they go out of their way to make him very villianous. Then they have an attractive policeman who seems 'fair' and 'righteous', I mean, the man hears the assassin Kenji say 'Gizmo sends his regards' and doesn't go after him right away, wanting a confession to the crime first through a bug or wiretap, don't think about why he has those. He's using them for 'good' and look how ""ugly"" the guy he's against is.

They could've made a point there, at least, but the message has to be read between the lines and I'm pretty sure most people who've ever played Fallout 1 only see a "handsome" Mayor and an "ugly" crime boss. They could've shown the dangers of trusting someone like Killian with absolute power, but... they decided that was 'unsatisfying'. Which has, ironically, left me unsatisfied.

To add one last insult to the injury, even when you side with Gizmo he dies in his ending. "... he chokes to death while eating some iguana-on-a-stick.". He dies while eating. What a place to end the Junktown conflict.

#fallout #fallout 1 #fatphobia #abelism #gizmo #sinthia #junktown

[corazondebeskar-reads]

WIP title game 🖤

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

tysm for the tags @janaispunk @cool-iguana @amanitacowboy

wips:

crack crossover (din x reader x joel)

omegaverse din (din x reader)

the moon still rises even after the earth dies (joel x reader)

gladiator!Din (din x reader)

hunger games au (joel x reader)

ain't no rest for the wicked (tess x reader x joel)

of rage and ruin (joel x reader)

break the back of love for you (joel x reader)

good god there are too many, rip so sorry if you've been tagged already

no pressure tags: @alwaysmicado @thepascalofus @tightjeansjavi @bastardmandennis @max--phillips @bearsbeetsbeskar @milla-frenchy @covetyou

#wip title game #toni writes #joel miller x reader #din djarin x reader

[theywhowriteandknowthings]

Thanks for the tag @pamasaur and @pastelnap for the tags!

Rules: Spell your URL with song titles and then tag as many people as there are letters.

T - Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand H - Hand Clap - Fitz and the Tandrums E - Eat the Acid - Kesha Y - You've got the Love - Florence and The Machine W - What's Up - Four Non-Blondes H - Hold me like a grudge - Fall Out Boy O - Only Love Can Save us Now - Kesha W - Who By Fire - PJ Harvey, Tim Pillips R - Red Right hand - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds I - I know the end - Phoebe Bridgers T - Trustfall - P!nk E - Entertainment - Rise Against A - Ain't No Grave - Johnny Cash N - No Surprises - Radiohead D - Don't Stop Me Now - Queen K - Killing in the name - Rage Against The Machine N - Natural - Imagine Dragons O - Out of My Head - First Aid Kit W - Wolf - Forst Aid Kit T - Take your Mama - Scissor Sisters H Hand in my pocket - Alanis Morissette I - I don't love you - MCR N - Nevermind - Leonard Cohen G - Go Your own Way - The Cranberries S - SNAP - Rosa Linn

I'm such a lesbian dad-rock loser with my music taste lol.

NPT: @darkroastjoel; @beefrobeefcal; @bastardmandennis; @cool-iguana; @patti7dc; @sheepdogchick3 - I'm not tagging all billion of people I need to match my tags ahahaha

#tag game #music #my music taste is that of a lesbain girl-dad into dad rock and other genres #Look at all that woman love #But also all that dad rock #Emo child aesthetic

[hummingbirdsinjune]

Well well it's finally Midnight Museum Ep. 3 time

- Will this plot keep me guessing as much as The Warp Effect did??

- ): Khatha tears

- 👁️👄👁️ Alexa, play Nelly

- a legendary soundtrack for a big but cute moth - 😐

- oh no that iguana is in trouble

- get him, Dome

- this is everyone's reminder to change where you hide your key

- "does someone have to die for your to do your job?" 🤷🏻 Ain't that just how it goes

- JUNE CAN LEAVE THE MUSEUM??? well scratch that theory off my list

- ew dome not the bugs

- aw Khatha you emotionally stunted sweetheart

- Zombies??????

- These people really know how to get themselves in trouble

- Bam is having a hard day lmao

- Khatha you sketchy ho

- What are we to gather from this?? That Dome got possessed by past Dome and doesn't remember anything from before the start of the show?? He's been like triple possessed this whole time???

- See Khatha you just have to trust Dome. He said, I don't know and clearly has respawned recently.

- Dome's having a bad first week of being alive.

- JIB???? JIB AND DOME????? what is HAPPENING

- oh, well. okay.

#midnight museum #i dont know what to say honestly #im baffled

[orca-iguana]

drop the orca drop the iguana just become microwave soda dude

I ain't a dude so hows that gonna work

[writing-and-wondering]

Tag game !

I was tagged by these lovely people: @mavswife @iguana-braces @barnescastle @turningtoclown

thank you !! <3

Favorite time of year: Fall. I love weather and the trees are so pretty, plus halloween!Halloween!! but the vibes of Christmas are a close close second

Comfort Foods: French fries, Chicken Tenders, and Milkshakes (which is amazing because the college I plan to go to has a whole building that just serves those three things. Heaven.

Do you collect anything: Stickers! I have so many stickers and my collection just keeps growing. I love them so much :]

Favorite drink: Shirley Temples! (especially with lots of cherries)

Favorite songs- of all time:

Crazy Little Thing Called Love- Queen

Still feel- Half-Alive

Midnight City- M83

Moscow- Autoheart

One Day- Lovejoy

Puzzle Pieces- Saint Motel

Basically anything One Republic

Favorite songs- currently:

Higher- Michael Bublé

Lash Out- Alice Merton

Passengers- Noah Kahan

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid- The Offspring

I ain't Worried- One Republic

West Coast- One Republic

Young and Menace- Fall Out Boy

Favorite Fics:

Welcome to the World by @bradshawsbaby

Dancing with You by @applebutter-and-cinnamon

A Safe Place to Land by @thesewordsareallihavetogive

It was only a kiss by @kyber-crystal

Papers by @shouldershimmycity

Crossfire by @purelyfiction

no pressure tags !! :D

@jostyriggslover96 @mrsroosterbradshaw02 @milestellussy @mads-weasley @rosiahills22 @top-gun-rooster @highwaytothedangerzone502 @callsign-fox @callsignrunaway

#tag game #:)

[minilpark]

get to know me tag!

i was tagged by: @iguana-braces, @mavswife, @heyitswolfman, @nixnbob, and @kryptonitejelly (thank you to everyone!)

favorite time of the year: i love spring and fall! mainly because i can make cute outfits without sweating my ass off or freezing lmao, but i also love the colours of nature around those two times in the year

comfort food: hmm i would say any asian food, but if i had to choose, probably sushi or i do love indian food

do you collect anything?: i guess i technically collect movie tickets! i try to keep one from every movie i go to and enjoy because i like looking back on them and the fun memories

favourite drink: i have a couple faves besides water which are ginger ale, iced chai tea latte, and hi-c orange lavaburst hehe

favourite song / artist: if theres one thing you can take away from this post, it's the fact that i can never pick or narrow anything down for the life of me. that being said, i cannot pick a favourite song lmao but i'll give you a couple artists i do enjoy: chase atlantic, enhypen, benee, justin timberlake, arctic monkeys

current favourite songs: (taken from my on repeat playlist on spotify)

i ain't worried - onerepublic

why stop now - chase atlantic

swoon - beach weather

garbage truck - sex bob-omb

great balls of fire - miles teller version

carry out - timbaland ft. justin timberlake

favourite fics: honestly i have too many faves to mention, but the ones that i can think of right now are

safe with me - hederasgarden

shampoo & heartbreak - privateanxieties

kryptonians and french tarts - makethatelevenrings

things one, two, three, and four - callsignbob

my love forever collection - robertcallsignbobfloyd

tagging: honestly i don't know who to tag, so anyone who wants to do this, go for it! i'd love to get to know a little more about everyone

#gen asks #thank you all for tagging me again :")

[the-drunk-game-master]

Justice League heroes as Sonic animals

Wonder the Lioness

Super the Horse

Flash the Rabbit

Kendra the Hawk

Aqua the Iguana

And of course Noir the Bat, and Timmy the Robin.

Superman was the hardest to translate into a furry, since he's usually associated with the sun or crystals. I considered a few strong animals, like bulls or gorillas, but the personality and symbolism of a horse felt right. His face is blue. All the blue is his fur.

The Flash could have been a squirrel or a rabbit, but I like the rabbit idea better. His fur is bright red and he's got yellow gloves and shoes.

I see "Wonder the Lioness" similiar to Knuckles or Tikal, and trying to recover some ancient artifact.

Aqua the Iguana could have been a fish, but I ain't never seen a fish person in a sonic game. Would they even have feet?

I still don't know what to do for green Lantern.

#justice league #sonic #sega #dc

[parkerbombshell]

[musesbykai]

Hernández heard that. And unlike his human, who’s going to ignore the comment of leaving him in a box, he’s going to let out a warning hiss.

V simply leans back in their chair. “Heh. There’s a reason why iguanas are practically extinct in the future. They don’t eat meat. They like lettuce and leaves from trees.” ~ Kaiju-crimson-storyandask

"Oh good, so we can just go get a head of lettuce for it then and call it a day." Oron glared at the lizard, giving a little bit of a hiss back.

"I ain't gonna let that thing boss me around. As long as it stays away from this whole area." He motioned towards his own workbench. "It's fine, but that thing has an attitude."

@kaiju-crimson-storyandask