the-drunk-game-master

[the-drunk-game-master]

Moose bites can be pretty a nasty, just ask my sister.

[the-drunk-game-master]

I guess they're mad about all those weird fake chinese prank clips in fail army compilations?

[the-drunk-game-master]

Democrats: We need to recycle and invest in renewable energy, or else we're going to run out of drinking water and ruin our planet.

Republicans: We need to take rights away from (Everyone who isn't a white straight cis Christian man) or else we'll all go to HELL!

People who don't believe in hell:

#Politics #religion #american politics

[the-drunk-game-master]

you know what? he learned his lesson. which is actually impressive for a billionare. those dumbasses don't learn shit.

It's easy to think you'd be able to do something when you know that you'd never have to actually do it.

[the-drunk-game-master]

She's right though. It peaked right before the shoulder pad thing. It was all downhill from there.

Fashion class!

I'm an expert, you know. Lesson one: Fashion peaked in the eighties. Lesson two… Wait, where are you going?

[the-drunk-game-master]

Why would you admit it's a trap? one of them might have leaned over to look into the mirror, then taken psychic damage when they see how ugly they are.

DM: There's a chest with clawed feet--

Warlock: It's a mimic isn't it?

DM: Uh...

Warlock: Keep the party back while I Mage Hand it open. Everybody get ready--prepare to Blast and Firebolt this thing to oblivion

DM: The treasure box opens and it's only a mirror inside that none of the party are now at an angle to be reflected in. So no, it's not a mimic, the clawed feet were decorative. It was just a trap.

Warlock: Oh well if it's only that...

[the-drunk-game-master]

for those who didn't take algebra/Geometry (I don't fuckin know)

The length of the diagonal of a 5x5 square can be calculated using the Pythagorean theorem. We add the squares of the two sides (5^2 + 5^2) and then take the square root of the result, giving us 5√2, or approximately 7.07 units.

Player, observing 5ft by 5ft squares that are also 5ft diagonally (DM said we don't need math):

"Pythagoras is rolling in his grave rn"

[the-drunk-game-master]

Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews: THE VAMPIRE LOVERS

[the-drunk-game-master]

I love this women and her argument

[the-drunk-game-master]

Mother fucker that's not a new meaning. That's the same meaning.

[the-drunk-game-master]

Yeah I woulda just cheated.

Wow. Talk about attention to detail.

Video here: https://twitter.com/javi_draws/status/965260617790738432?s=21

[the-drunk-game-master]

ah so this is where the whole "Have you tried games aside from D&D?" thing comes in, because you guys actually read the books huh?

Every time I remember that they removed the ability for centaur PCs to serve as mounts I get a little bit more mad at dnd

[the-drunk-game-master]

[the-drunk-game-master]

"That song came from a very serious place, but now it seems to have morphed into a kind of comfort for other people who listen to it and think of the ones they have loved in their own lives," Carter muses.

[the-drunk-game-master]

this is the first I've ever heard of Jill Stein, who's she?

Listen man by not voting for Jill Stein you are handing Trump the presidency, there is zero chance of Biden winning and your democratic purity politics are going to make the orange man win again. Vote green no matter wheen

[the-drunk-game-master]

Usually it's a pill, and the fetus is only twice as big as the pill.

[the-drunk-game-master]

see, the Tesla cars seem mostly fine. but everything about the Tesla truck seems designed to kill you. did they do this on purpose?

$122,000. And the thing is so shodily designed that the accelerator can become that easily stuck. It isn't even all one piece.

$122,000. That's more than my entire household income, and we're 3 adults with full-time jobs.

If you gave that $122,000 to Feeding America, that would provide over 1 million meals.

That's $122,000 more than Tesla paid in taxes.