#The Scully Family In-Depth

[randomfoggytiger]

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XIV): When Nature Turns So Cruel

Leading into the cancer arc, Scully begins to grapple with the bigger questions: her place in Mulder's life, and what she wants that place to be.

In Season 4, not only does Mulder express himself more openly-- crying on her shoulder for the first time in Herrenvolk, voicing his fantasy of a better life in Home, relying on her completely in Teliko, anguishing over soulmates in The Field Where I Died, hugging her proudly in Terma, leaning on her solely in Paper Hearts-- but the cases themselves no longer bear a passing resemblance: they directly mirror her current experiences. It creates an inescapable glass to look into and constantly compare with: which decisions led her here, and how (and if) she can escape them.

The files are Scully's job, but her loyalty lies with Mulder (her vow in Tooms proves that quite clearly); and insecurity over that loyalty harkens back to her childhood dynamic with the late Captain Scully: "There are other fathers," she tells Ed Jerse darkly in Never Again.

However. I wanted to focus this analysis on the slowly begun but quickly ended arc supplanted by Never Again and the events after Memento Mori.

THE HEART OF THE HOME

Home is a complex episode, factoring in not only Scully’s family dynamics but Mulder’s as well (to be discussed at length another time.)

After the closeted baby autopsy, Scully and Mulder walk out of the sheriff’s department just as a happy family and their giggly baby stroll by. Scully’s first remarks, however, are filtered out through the lens of mangled hopes and cruel twists of life. 

“Imagine how a woman’s hopes and dreams for her child, and then Nature turns so cruel. What must a mother go through?” she ruminates in a distanced tone, indicating that this is the first time she's given serious thought to the subject.

What must a mother go through particularly stands out: Scully hadn’t forayed into these maternal or domestic waters before, it seems-- working hard to achieve medical school, then a doctor’s degree, then recruitment, then field agent with the FBI’s best and brightest. In The Jersey Devil, she was shown to be good with kids; but it was Ellen who pushed her towards planning the next step, and Scully who stated she’d need a man first. So, Dana Scully is over three years in on the files with at least three relationships under her belt (discounting Ethan Minette and whatever she and Mulder have) but still hadn’t paused to ponder or plan what motherhood and its hopes and dreams would hold for her… until today. And to have this brought to her attention now, during these dire circumstances, hits closer to home than Scully would like. 

“Apparently not much in this case if she’d just throw it out with the trash,” Mulder counters, quietly waiting for his partner’s response when she maintains eye contact while slowly sitting down.

Scully remains/is momentarily silent, sorting through the real reason this case and these hopes are so impactful. 

“I guess I was just… projecting on myself,” she admits-- vulnerably honest.

Mulder is immediately puzzled and concerned-- and his first question isn’t 'You want kids?' but instead, “Why, is there a history of genetic abnormalities in your family?” It’s a blend of his usual curiosity, morbid fascination, and something else. 

Scully picks up on that something else, “No”ing his question softly and staring at him with more personal interest. 

He then gives her a crack-- “Well, just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber scullies”-- a smile, and a light backrub to soothe away any lingering worries.

In a turnabout equal to an Olympic gold medalist, Scully twists the question around on him: “What about your family?” 

“Hm?” Mulder responds, testing to see if his nonanswer will shake her off his tail. 

It doesn’t: Scully remains locked onto his face, expecting a straight answer. One might say, needing one. 

“Well, aside from the need for corrective lenses and the tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials--” here Scully turns away, grinning to herself over Mulder’s Mulderness reasserting itself, “--involved in an international governmental conspiracy--” here a shade of disappointment passes over her face, “--the Mulder family passes genetic muster,” here he finishes, adding a comedic muscle flex to farm a smile from his partner.   

She smiles, soaking in his unspoken subtext. 

In his own way, Mulder has stated exactly where he stands: he can fantasize about settling down in a place like Home, tease her about pumping out the uber scullies, even include his family genetics in with the joke, but all under the context of hypotheticals. Mulder can’t have a normal life until he’s righted the wrongs of his past, saved the world, and gotten the girl. (It’s not until The Unnatural and Amor Fati that he finds "the mystery of the heart" and "another life, another world" can coincide with this one.) Most importantly, Mulder himself is not ready: playing with a baseball while she takes notes, bantering about family history while Scully turns reflectively inward, planning for unreachable hypotheticals (with her in them, yes, but unreachable all the same), and joking them both out of more dangerous, personal topics they've yet to address.

Scully is amused at his antics; but she is also searching for something from him he can’t (she assumes) provide. It’s wisest not to take his oddities or indiscretions personally, to smile over his endless unquenchable, unattached zest for life; but there is a loneliness-- one that is a choice-- that feels isolating, that leads her to question her own choices and outcomes (i.e. Never Again, Milagro, all things.) “You are Ahab”, she told him once on a rock; and her self-inflicted sacrifices to that cycle (posts here and here) stem back to being Captain William Scully, Sr.’s best first mate-- “There are other fathers”, after all. 

Mulder watches her closely; and, sensing her withdrawal, opens up, revealing that he does, indeed, understand more than he lets on.  

“Scully, that child inside is a tragedy." It's a simple statement spoken with feeling; and Scully responds to it.  

But his theory over young, scared kids abandoning their unwanted child switches her gears; and she pivots their conversation quickly into her disagreements. 

For the second time, family talk pops up in Mayberry. 

Scully, having wrapped up the adult conversation for the night, glances over at her boy-in-a-thiry-some-year-old-body partner wrangling with the fuzzy tv set, smiling in spite of herself.  

At her approach, Mulder puts distance between them-- but not because of romantically blurred lines, no, no; but because she might mess with the static on his chosen channel. 

Thoroughly unimpressed, Scully cracks, “You still planning on making a home here?” 

“Not if I can’t get the Knicks game,” he deflects, pointing the antennae carefully at her forehead for maximum kid antics. 

Having had enough for the night, she walks off.  “Well, just as long as brutal infanticide doesn’t weigh into your decision.” 

He picks up on, and is annoyed by, her undercurrent of condescension, shooting a “Goodnight, Mom,” parting shot. 

Scully is pulled up short, her eyes asking if he’d said what he’d said and challenging him to repeat it. Mulder turns away-- not interested in further petty sniping but refusing to give up the ground he’s gained. 

She doesn’t call his bluff, deciding to drop further antagonism and just go to bed. 

However, there is a snag. 

“Mulder, this lock is broken,” she says, head down as she fidgets it back and forth.  

Her partner whips back around, lowering his arms for the first time in a defensive, attentive position. He plays it off with a joke-- “You don’t have to lock your doors around here”-- and Scully buys it; but his posture reflects how aware he is of the sudden lack of boundaries in this cozy, folksy, family-livin’ town. 

After she shuts the door behind her, Mulder doesn’t stop looking at the lock (visibly weighing his options by stretching out the antenna.) Blinking away his thoughts, he moves quickly over to the table, grabbing and wedging a chair under the opportunity of temptation. 

If that’s not symbolism for the next few years for Scully, I don’t know what else is. 

The third mention of family-- specifically, of Scully’s family-- occurs in the Peacocks’ field. 

“There some secret farmer trick to gettin’ these things moving?” Mulder grunts, giving another forceful shove against the mountain of pigs they have to move. 

“I don’t know,” she whispers, exasperated, before receiving a stroke of genius. “Na ram you!” she warbles, louder for the second, “Na ram you!” 

“Yeah, that’ll work,” Mulder pipes from behind a particularly large hog. 

“I babysat my nephew this weekend,” she explains, applying more force to the hind quarters in front of her. “He watches Babe fifteen times a day.” 

“And people call me ‘Spooky’.” 

Besides a cameo in Beyond the Sea, this is the first canonical reference Scully has made to her nephew. Although there was a profound lack of show bible on The X-Files, the details-- or lack thereof-- that they retained are interesting to gnaw on. 

As discussed in the previous parts here and here, Scully’s two brothers were at her father’s funeral with their wives; but as we know in A Christmas Carol, Bill Scully has yet to have children (unless one got bushwacked and we were never told.) If that’s the case, then nephew Scully has to be Charlie’s boy… which leaves the other boy at the funeral unaccounted for. (Is he Forgotten Nephew? Step Nephew? Who knows?) 

Once inside the house, Mulder zeroes in on an Elvis Presley article and Mrs. Peacock’s skid marks while Scully pieces together who Mrs. Peacock is-- another example of their disparate frequencies. 

“Mrs. Peacock?” Scully begins. “Mrs. Peacock… you are in immediate need of medical attention. Agent Mulder and I are here to help you.” 

“This is our home! Why leave it?” 

After the argument for medical attention leads them nowhere, Mrs. Peacock stares into the middle distance, fondly (and a bit lustfully) talking about her sons. “They’re such good boys.” 

“Mrs. Peacock, they murdered Sheriff Taylor and his wife. And Deputy Pastor.”

Fired up, Mrs. Peacock rebukes, “I can tell you don’t have no children.”

Scully withdraws, a mixture of stinging confusion and horrified disgusts playing across her face.    

“Maybe one day you’ll learn,” the matriarch continues, “the pride. The love. When you know your boy would do anything for his mother.” 

Disgust outweighing everything, Scully looks away and licks her lips to compose herself. 

Then the boys break in; and chaos ensues. 

There is no resolution here about family for Mulder and Scully, the topic and undertones being dropped in favor of a death brawl and subsequent escape. But mothers and their children, death and loss ties very neatly into her and her mom's conversation in Memento Mori. Nature’s cruel twists of life, uh, find a way. 

REMEMBER DEATH

While not tangentially related to the Scully family, her opening monologue in Memento Mori sets the stage for Scully's equal parts reticence and openness in the cancer arc, culminating in the interactions between her, Maggie, and Bill in Gethsemane and both Redux episodes.

"For the first time I feel time like a heartbeat. The seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning. The ruminous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth, but only in it's passage.' I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me, knowing that you will read them and share my burden as I have come to trust no other. That you should know my heart, look into it, finding there the memory and experience 'that belong to you, that are you, is a comfort to me now as I feel the tethers loose and the prospects darken for a continuance of a journey that began not so long ago, and which began again with a faith shaken and strengthened by your convictions. If not for which I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you and look at you incomplete, hoping that you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you."

Scully is diagnosed with brain cancer; and calls Mulder to jump headlong into an investigation regarding the dying MUFON women she’d met last year-- all without calling her mother or family first. We find out in Gethsemane that she hadn’t wanted any of her family told, and are left to assume Maggie found out only because of how debilitating Dr. Scanlon’s chemo treatment was expected to be. Their confrontation here is extremely telling: it reveals how much Maggie relies on her daughter, how aware Scully is of this, and how the chasm between them begins to grow as Scully attempts to always be her mother’s “strong one.” 

Scully tells Mulder she needs him to bring over her travel bag and “to call my mother and ask her to bring up some things to the hospital.” 

Thus enters Maggie: hurt and angry and terrified. “Dana!” she greets, soft and breathless. 

“Hi, Mom,” Scully responds, her voice younger as she slips back into mother-daughter comfortability.

Overwhelmed, her mother waits until Scully introduces her to Dr. Scanlon, then begins rambling. “I drove,” she explains, trying to disguise the shake in her voice by talking a bit faster. “I was gonna take the shuttle but it’s only an hour or more by car. Can you imagine?” Dropping off her bag, Maggie draws back to her daughter’s bedside while nervously fiddling with her ear and sniffling. 

“Mom, I’m fine,” Scully assures.  

At that, Maggie’s face drops-- perhaps relief, perhaps fury at Scully’s denial. Or both.

“I’m going to be fine-- I’m just here for treatment,” Dana continues, gracefully gliding over the change of expression. When Dr. Scalon announces his departure, she gives him a tight, polite smile, well-trained and mannered even in a crisis.

Maggie, however, doesn’t react, letting the man pass without so much as a cursory glance over. 

The two Scully women are alone; and Dana shifts her eyes away, then drops her head, steels her shoulders, and lifts her eyes back up to Maggie, anticipating a storm. And she's right. 

“Mom, I know what you’re gonna say, but… I don’t have any experience being sick,” she stalls, knowing her mother’s wrath is coming in hot. 

Maggie remains silent, taking off her coat and folding it with heavy, precise movements while looking down.  

Scully scoots froward, trying to reassure her with a little, unconcerned shrug.  

Looking up, Maggie locks eyes, holding herself tightly. “I don’t know why you didn’t tell me.”

Embarrassed and guilty, Scully looks down, swallowing as she prepares herself for what’s coming. 

“I don’t know why you didn’t tell me immediately!” her mother explodes, betrayal radiating from her stiff spine and locked jaw as she slams her coat on her purse.  

Chastised, Scully looks down once more, willing to let Maggie vent the anger that has accumulated since Mulder’s call the night before. It takes the wind out of Mrs. Scully’s sails; and she folds in on herself, trying again to regain control.   

“I wanted to get all the answers first,” Scully says, quietly; and Maggie walks over slowly, nodding as she takes a closer stand by her daughter’s side. 

“And you found them here?”

Scully hasn’t. “I have found some clarity,” she cryptically replies. “And maybe a way to fight back.” With that, she raises her head and waits for her mother to look back at her again. 

Quite the interesting shift we observe here: we the audience know Scully always run to Mulder-- or Melissa-- before her mother (i.e. The Blessing Way and A Christmas Carol, respectively); but Maggie, it appears, wasn’t aware of this dynamic. To Maggie, her baby girl always came to her first for love and advice or council; and she doted on her baby accordingly. She likely didn’t support Dana’s transfer to the FBI but still helped mend her daughter and her husband’s relationship; she trusted her youngest daughter’s judge of character in Fox Mulder, Albert Hosteen, and Walter Skinner (posts here and here); and she talked her daughter down from a paranoid episode when Dana ran to her for safety (post here.) But last night, she found where she placed on Scully’s priority list: second, if unavoidable. And that crushed her.  

Flexing her jaw against the trembling in her lips, Maggie finally looks back at her daughter. “I don’t want to be kept in the dark,” she warns, refusing to let the matter rest, no matter how much Dana is skirting it. 

Scully lets a bit of her control go, allowing a shade of vulnerability to peer through her eyes. “I know, Mom.” 

Maggie, unable to hold back her fear any longer, covers her mouth before leaning in for kiss on the cheek. 

Unable to keep her own self-control complete once enveloped in a hug, Scully almost cracks, clutching desperately at her mom’s shirt for a split second to battle away the impulse to cry. 

“You have always been the strong one,” Maggie affirms: a blessing and a burden for Dana Scully. Beginning to sob, she adds, “But you are my only daughter now.” 

“I know,” Scully answers, resolved. 

To Maggie, strength is not separate from open emotions, tears, and vulnerability; but to Scully, fragile emotions are akin to weakness. This, therefore, places mother and daughter in opposite positions-- mother wanting to share in grief and weakness, and daughter wanting to shield them both against it. Maggie desperately wants Scully to open herself, needing that mother-daughter relationship she has only with Dana now; and Scully desperately seeks to avoid that openness, viewing it as dangerously unstable territory while she gathers strength to help her loved ones. 

In canon, it's hard to find Scully harboring blame for Melissa's death after her initial burst of blame in Paper Clip. The knowledge that her sister was killed in her place must weigh heavily; but inferences have to be made about the level of guilt she carries, if at all. She was given a form of closure by turning in Luis Cardinale-- though imperfect, since his was killed before facing justice-- and we know she has fond memories of her sister in A Christmas Carol and a shade of remembrance in all things. Most often, the body count of the mission falls on Mulder's shoulders, with Scully firmly convinced the men who pull the trigger are the ones that bear responsibility.

Knowing all this, it would not, however, be easy to face her mother's pain and fright after her abduction, disgraced disappearance, sister's death, and government-inflicted brain cancer.

Maggie Scully breaks down, clinging to her daughter in anguish.

CONCLUSION

There is none, really-- other than the knowledge that this mini arc pales in comparison to the other family work tackled in Season 4.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #meta #The Scully Family In-Depth #In-Depth #Part XIV #When Nature Turns So Cruel #Scully #Mulder #Maggie Scully #S4 #Home #Memento Mori #xfiles #x-files #the x files #xf meta #mine #thoughts

[deathsbestgirl]

okay @calimanc i think i can finally do this!!

first, i tend to think of their relationships in phases. like:

season one: building trust and bonding. they genuinely like each other but it's a process! it takes time to create that bond & partnership. they really create such a good foundation naturally. they don't force it.

seasons two & three: BEST FRIENDS. they trust each other, they love each other, they rely on each other. their roles are set, their bond just gets stronger. season two really sets the tone for true friendship & personal value, not just work.

seasons four & five: it's a Struggle. their relationship is shifting but they're not there yet. it makes things hard but their partnership & friendship are solid. that is not the issue. (although, bad blood is also peak best friends)

season six: tension. surrounding their feelings, trust and getting their shit together lol (genuinely the season of them figuring it out)

season seven forward: THEY ARE IN LOVE. they are all in. s7 they're putting s6 lessons into practice, their communication is improving. s8&9 are hell for them but their love is never the question. coming back to each other is also a process (season seven is them putting the lessons into practice)

iwtb: married. everything is good & terrible. they are haunted, always haunted.

revival: coming back to each other, learning they can be together again despite everything. they never let go and they never will.

i think there's been a lot written about their characters and journeys, at least somewhat related to this. i think i'm recalling some of @randomfoggytiger meta posts about their different struggles, characters, trauma, etc. (the ones i think about a lot: scully teaches mulder to hug, milagro, how the ghosts stole christmas, mulder + s5, mulder / scully family in depths, mulder / scully typing, mulder / scully fight flight freeze — highly recommend, i think foggy puts a lot of things into words that are behind my reasoning)

in the beginning, mulder believes scully is sent as a spy. he's kind but he needles her about aliens, her thesis, her science and she gives back as good as she gets. but scully is so genuine and earnest. she cares about the truth and victims and justice. i've always thought she was excited to work in the field and specifically with mulder. whatever she thought of his spooky moniker, she also knew he was a brilliant man & a good agent. she was prepared to learn from him, regardless of what their cases would be. i don't think she believed all the rumors, i think she's intimately familiar with the rumor mill. and scully always had more of an open mind than anyone gives her credit for.

SO she spends the pilot trying to solve their case and get as much information out of him as possible, she wants him to trust her and she's trying to show him that he can. scully's got him chasing after her on their second? day on the case. she shows him real vulnerability, and imo, a tendency to believe despite her skepticism. and that's when he starts to give her a real chance. mulder's smile when she runs into his arms says sooooo much. AND THEN!!! he is vulnerable with her. he tells her about samantha & it's all he cares about. and she takes him at his word.

to me, this is something that sets the tone for most of their relationship. scully follows him because of his passion and belief, because she believed him when he said the truth was out there. she accepted that work was what mattered most to him and despite her crush, she chose to stay and follow him. she makes that decision over & over again. even when he makes her crazy, even when he gets himself into insane situations. and season one is all about building their trust, radicalizing scully. already before the end of season one, they trust only each other. mulder may show that trust slowly, taking bigger chances with her as time goes on. sharing the personal, letting her know about his informants, introducing her to his friends & eventually deep throat...he listens to her advice, her skepticism, her science and he genuinely appreciates it even if it frustrates him a lot. like when he thanks her in e.b.e., he's frustrated but it's real. he was listening. he recognizes her value to the x files and himself by season two. that conversation in sleepless about 'oh yeah, it's great. i don't know how i put up with you for so long' and 'i learned that from you' and 'i still have my work, and i still have you. and i still have myself.' and this is the "safe" territory for them. they know how to work together and they understand what that means. or they think they do, until scully is abducted and the stakes are raised. (kae wrote about mulder recognizing love in loss once. that's always really stuck with me.) mulder's guilt complex runs high. it's a huge part of his reaction in never again, scully's "my life" and 'we're not even going in circles, just an endless line' and "not everything is about you" is piercing in a very specific way to him. in that moment at the end, they choose silence and it persists for a long time. as does the way they talk around their feelings, their relationship. and mulder specifically is very avoidant. he makes several comments throughout their partnership about her leaving, not wanting to ruin her record or hold her back. and it's just so crazy, because scully eventually tells him that she holds him back, he doesn't need her. scully wants to be needed, and mulder wants her to stay but he 'doesn't want to see her hurt.'

the whole point is they put the work first, their partnership. it was a conscious choice. eventually we learn they both had relationships with people they worked with. i really do think it would make both of them hesitate to get involved with a work partner. generally speaking, scully is a "rule follower" but she doesn't have a problem breaking rules when she thinks it's justified, when she believes it's the right thing to do. no matter who's instincts she's listening to. that's a pattern we see very early on.

THEN they get so comfortable in their roles, believer mulder & skeptic scully, that later on as those things start to shift, they're afraid to change. mulder tells scully her science saved him over & over and in season six she clings to that (completely misunderstanding what he ~really meant, like kae talked about). season six is all about them figuring out what a relationship between them would mean.

but by that point, they had started to figure out some of their own issues. like in never again, scully is struggling with her patterns. so she does something she doesn't do often (i don't think one night stands are ooc, but they're not necessarily her norm. it seems like a periodic thing she may do when she gets That feeling.) scully needs to know she matters, she needs to see her impact. in never again, after paper hearts & el mundo gira, i think she's really hurting in that respect. she doesn't see at this point the impact she's had on mulder or as an agent. you can't tell she works in that office -- no desk, no nameplate, barely any personal items. just some books. initially, they're having two conversations and only partially aware of it. at the end, mulder doesn't seem to understand the issue, but at the end of leonard betts, mulder validates scully. verbally!! directly to her!! he starts to get it. they're not very good at talking directly, that's why never again and the cancer arc, and after, are so difficult. they talk about everything with metaphors, or they're okay sharing little pieces of them. their trauma & pain when forced to.

and season five is ... fraught. as so many other times, but scully nearly died and mulder feels guilty. randomfoggytiger talks about mulder in season 5 here. and the thing about these two, they're traumatized over & over again and they just keep going. but they are deeply affected. i've talked about how not okay scully is, and it takes her so much time to freely lean on mulder. she relies on him & their work, but she doesn't necessarily let him in too far. she holds people at a distance, she's so aware of loss & death and the effects of it, like she talks about in emily. and it isn't really that they need to work through their trauma. it's so much more about letting someone help shoulder the burdens, see them vulnerable. they do that and they do it for each other freely & often. but...for scully, she's always the strong one. she isn't really, but she thinks she has to be. she doesn't want to be another crusade for mulder, someone else he needs to protect. but at the same time, that's what partners do. she takes that "job" very seriously and so does mulder. (but so early on, it isn't because it's part of their job. i think that's extremely clear with scully in tooms & e.b.e., mulder's reaction in lazarus, to her abduction. you can see the progression so clearly.) but they can't protect each other from everything. mulder couldn't save her from being abducted, getting cancer, emily, or being burned alive...scully can't protect him from what happened to samantha. and that's a hard truth. it's something they accept for themselves as fbi agents, but is nearly impossible for them to accept for their partner. it's why scully threatens boggs, why mulder wants revenge on the men responsible for her abduction, why they go as far as they do for each other. they are relentless. (for mulder, he's always blaming himself. often, he wants to protect scully from himself even though he isn't the danger. he isn't the one harming her and he knows how far scully would go. like in endgame 'why didn't you tell me?' 'because i knew you wouldn't let me go through with it' and he runs off on his own because he doesn't want her to risk her life for his crusade, for the answer he needs & seeks.)

and season six!! it's so special because scully knows she's important, he gave her a whole speech about it. they nearly kissed. but they don't talk about it, the silence is maintained in favor of their partnership. and season six is a special brand of putting them in situations. at certain points, their partnership & trust are tested and leading up to those points, they tend to show how solid they really are. like in drive, when their communication is cut off but scully can understand that mulder is avoiding the police traps for a reason and he knows she'll catch onto the clues he manages to drop & that she's working hard to figure out the science/medicine, that she's doing the legwork on their cases that she always does. scully's asking him to get out of the car, but not to abandon it and they spend most of the season slowly putting together a blueprint for a relationship between them. knowing there are feelings between them, on both sides, completely reciprocated but it's a struggle. they learn something, and it's erased. or like the lesson in the unnatural, it takes a while for them to really get it. to put it into practice more consistently. there's a new freedom after one son too, with most of the syndicate killed at the hands of their own stupidity. and literally, neither of them can actually let go because the x files is both of their lives, they both have a very significant stake in the work and that will always connect them. (no matter how they're forced away from it at different points, no matter how they hesitate sometimes.) but it's also always deeper than that. because "you made me a whole person" wasn't just true of mulder. scully is never more herself than she is with mulder. i've said it a few times, but the x files was scully's dream job lol not only does she get to use everything in her arsenal, but she cares & she can be weird & a little mean. mulder gave her a very special kind of safety. scully loved teasing him for his beliefs, she always found it endearing and i just. think that's for a reason. he believes what she can't, and she believes what he can't. (you know, my usual)

i just think about the difference between all souls & all things. mulder is terrified of scully's believe in all souls, but in all souls, he interprets her words through her faith. he wasn't afraid. it was from a distance in all things, but she's also talking about a man she considered the love her life & might have married. but scully's sitting on his couch telling him all about it.

in the revival, scully comes back to the x files for mulder. but she's the one loving the case in mulder & scully meet the weremonster. and where mulder's disbelief & cynicism in the patient x/the red and the black scare her, she's not afraid of it weremonster. she kindly tries to guide him back to it, or rather, gives him the opportunity to find it himself. like he helps her light the candles & talks to god through her in nothing lasts forever. they're not really together but they're always together. it's always about working through something, understanding themselves & each other, and accepting/embracing some truth. like in all things, "what if there was only one choice?" in a way, there is only one choice. the one they made over & over. scully in squeeze & tooms & little green men, mulder in one breath & redux & requiem. all their choices lead to the other, and they almost mourn other choices. but scully would do it all again, she wouldn't change a thing. mulder can't do it alone and there's hope. the truth they both know. the only one they know.

#okay i don't think i did this right #but GENUINELY #read randomfoggytiger & carefulfears #calimanc #mulder and scully #mine #the x files

[leiascully]

This 'Field Where I Died' exchange has always bothered me, where Mulder says, 'If early in the four years we've been working together an event occurred that suggested, or somebody told you, that we'd been friends together in other lifetimes, always... wouldn't it have changed some of the ways we looked at one another? And Scully says, 'Even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day.' Then she says well, except for that flukeman thing. That's nice and all, but I always felt like she was answering a different question. He was asking her about them, about who they were to each other, not whether she had any regrets. I always felt disappointed in her answer, like she dodged the question. Thoughts?

I feel like that's kind of essential to their relationship, and one of the things we love so much about it. Everything is oblique or shrouded in shadow. They talk directly about so many things, but so rarely about what there is between them. Each time one of them opens up, the other one has to deflect in some way. Their love is too bright to look at directly. To discuss it is to open the ark of their covenant with each other. They're not sure they'll survive. Even her serious answer has to be tempered with a joke. But I do think you're right - she's not answering about their potential multiple lifetimes. She's skating past that assertion and just answering about the last four years. I honestly think that question is something of an apology on Mulder's part, because he was kind of a jerk to her at first. He's saying I didn't know. I couldn't know. And she's telling him It's all right. You couldn't know. There are so few moments that she doesn't show her trust in him - even in Wetwired, you can feel her fighting against the idea that he's betrayed her. They've pledged allegiance to each other.

I think the kindest interpretation of this odd moment in this odd episode, which in its attempt to set up a different soulmate for Mulder ends up reaffirming his connection with Scully, is that it's both of them feeling a little bit of a sense of relief that the depth of their connection makes sense. If they've known each other for lifetimes, the mud and the rain and the quiet hotel room in Oregon make sense. Her willingness to confront other government officials and possibly shoot them to get him back in their second case together makes sense (although the timeline of Deep Throat does not, haha). His devastation over her abduction makes sense. The fact that she shot him, drove across the country to save him, and learned an ancient but living language on his behalf makes sense. All the things their families didn't or don't understand about what they mean to each other are easier to brush aside if there are centuries of companionship and love behind it. They're not being foolish or codependent or toxic or whatever. They're deeply and intricately linked together by circumstances beyond their control. Meeting each other was coming home.

Also they're both very pretty in this episode thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

#the x-files #the field where i died #meta

[carefulfears]

tbh i think a lot of the conflict in never again comes from mulder's complete unwillingness to recognize scully's "sunk cost" or the permanence and depth of her involvement.

she asks, "why don't i have a desk?" and she's saying, i am here. i belong here, i take up space here, i am settled here. why don't our lives reflect that?

but in a room with one desk and one nameplate, there is one casualty.

so he says, "you were just assigned, this work is my life."

when you're just assigned, you can still leave.

a year later, after antarctica, he tells her, "i'm not gonna watch you die, scully, because of some hollow personal cause of mine. go be a doctor."

but mulder is "professionally in denial," he wants to believe, he'll search for something that he will never find and try to save someone that he will never save for the rest of his life; so when she asks "why don't i have a desk?" and she says "it has become mine," he freezes like a deer in headlights.

when you're just assigned, you can still leave. that aspect of choice (fate vs. free will) is critical, but he needs her to stay. he doesn't want to do this alone, like he tells her in that hallway a year later. so they sit in silence.

she was not just assigned. she's lost family members. she's lost time. she's lost health and autonomy and faith. she's nearly lost her life. and she's committed, over and over. she's followed, over and over. she has given, over and over. she has chosen, over and over and over.

but he can't separate the inherent loss in this journey from his own "hollow personal cause," so he nails himself to the cross over and over, and they sit in silence.

it reminds me of years later, after she buried him, when she walks him back into his apartment after six months gone. and she tries to tell him how hard it was. what it was like to hear that he was missing, to search for him, to find him dead. what it's like to have him back.

she looks a suicidal man in the eye and tells him that his life is her "answered prayer," and she cries and whispers "mulder..." when he dismisses it with a joke.

he cannot acknowledge how unbelievably difficult that was for her, to lose him, because it would mean acknowledging that it matters whether he lives or dies. it would mean acknowledging that it matters when he goes running back out that door that night, leaves her "completely beside herself" and once again praying.

he cannot acknowledge that this work has become her life, that she is irrevocably enmeshed in this world, and therefore he denies her recognition that she deserves a place next to him there. he denies her recognition that what she's invested matters, that this is more than an assignment, that she has sacrificed and contributed. so she burns the truth into her back, and they sit in silence.

#her ass is NOT escaping that ouroboros #i love the way that like...they're both such deeply kind and genuinely good people #and they've dedicated their lives to doing such good and they've sacrificed for it #and they've devoted to each other because they recognize that heart and that wild goodness in each other and they adore it #they are each other's favorite person and all they want to do is save the world #but they're flawed too and they're dark in some ways and they falter on occasion #i love that about this story that it is about mulder and scully being 'the light in dark places' and being nearly unfailingly righteous #but they have rough edges #txf.txt #never again

[mollybecameanengineer]

My Beloved

Summary: A post Kaddish love story

Read on AO3 or below the break

Author’s note: I rewatched Memento Mori, then Kaddish, and this fell out.

“I am to my beloved, as my beloved is to me.”

Mulder laid on the bed in his hotel room, the events of the night passing before his mind’s eye. Ariel, head to toe in white, in the basement of the synagogue, whispering those words to a dead man. 

“I am to my beloved, as my beloved is to me,” she’d said, as a ghost slipped a ring on her finger. 

Mulder couldn’t help but wonder if he was seeing his own future. Scully, on her deathbed. Him finally telling her the depth of his love. Slipping a ring on her finger as the machines around them flatlined. 

He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and tried to chase the images away. It wasn’t going to be like that. Scully would be ok. They would treat her cancer, she’d go into remission. 

She wasn’t dying. 

She. Wasn’t. Dying. 

He would will it to be true. 

“I am to my beloved, as my beloved is to me.”

Possessed by an outside entity, Mulder stood and left his room. He wanted to see her – had to see her. He needed to know she was still alive, that she’d not returned to the earth in his absence. 

He rapped on her door, and when it took her a moment to answer, he finally glanced at his watch. “Shit,” he murmured. It was nearly midnight. 

Just as he started to turn away, the door cracked open. He could tell she’d been asleep, a bleary eyed Scully wasn’t foreign to him. “What is it?” she asked. 

“I…” he trailed off. He didn’t have a reason for waking her, not a sensible one he could speak aloud. 

Scully, seeming to understand, opened the door wider, granting him entry. She got back into bed, while he sat at the small table in her room. “You ok?” she asked, the last word partially obscured by a yawn. 

“I should let you sleep,” Mulder replied, and started to rise. 

“Mulder, you should have thought about that before knocking on my door at a quarter to midnight. What is it?” When he didn’t respond right away, she continued, “I can see how this case could have gotten to you. These hate crimes… they were against people like you. Like your family.”

He swallowed. It had struck him that while none of the Hasidic Jews had regarded him as Jewish, the Nazi mother fucker had. 

Scully continued on. “It’s ok if it got to you. It’s hard when you see yourself in the victims.”

“I…” he cleared his throat. He had seen himself in the victims, just not how Scully imagined. “I saw myself in her,” he confessed. “Ariel.” 

She arched her eyebrow. “How so?”

Mulder leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. In for a penny… “Before you came into the basement, I watched…” he paused, and scrubbed his face with his hands. “I watched Ariel marry Isaac. He slipped that ring on her finger, as she said, ‘I am to my beloved, as my beloved is to me.’ She told him how much she’d loved him. And then,” Mulder looked up and met her eyes. “He turned into dust.”

They stared at each other for a long moment. Scully gnawed her lower lip. He could feel she was about to speak. He barreled on. “And tonight, I was laying in bed and I couldn’t get it out of my head. I’m afraid—”

She cut him off. “Mulder, I’m fine,” 

“For now,” he replied. She started to object, but he continued, “We live dangerous lives, Scully. I could be shot tomorrow. And there are things. Things I need to tell you, that I want to tell you. I don’t want to wait until it’s too late.”

She stiffened, and he immediately regretted his words. She was his co-worker, for God’s sake. She was also his best friend, but first and foremost, they worked together. Laying this on her was unprofessional at best. 

He started to rise, to apologize and leave the room, but she stopped him. “What things?” she whispered. 

Her face was open, her eyes bright. She knew what he was going to say, and it didn’t look like she was afraid of it.

He took a breath. 

“‘I am to my beloved, as my beloved is to me.’”

She stood, and crossed the room to stand between his legs. “‘He feedeth among the lilies,’” she whispered, before leaning down and pressing her lips against his. 

Her lips were soft and sweet, and he relished the feel of them against his own. After a moment he pulled back. He looked up, and their eyes met. Never in his wildest thoughts did his leaving his room tonight lead to them kissing, to say nothing of what he saw in her eyes now. She took his hand and stepped back, causing him to stand. In silence, she led him to the bed. 

It all happened so quickly. In a moment, their clothes were gone, and his head was between her thighs. He prayed before her altar, prostrating himself before her. Once she’d had her pleasure, he climbed up her body, settling between her legs. 

They began to kiss again, and she, impatient, reached between them to guide him home. They both gasped. 

“God Scully, I love you,” he whispered before he could stop himself. 

She kissed him, before wrapping her legs around his hips to urge him on. 

It could have been a minute or an hour that they made love, the passage of time ceased to be linear. He was surrounded by the feel of her, the smell. The taste. Her moans and soft sighs urged him on until she gasped. She clenched around him, and he couldn’t contain it anymore. He fell over the edge. His seed filled her. 

He collapsed to one side, mindful not to crush her. They were both panting, trying to reclaim their senses. He could feel himself shrinking – he would be separated from her soon. They would rise, use the toilet, wash away the fluids that coated them. 

He wrapped himself around her, not ready to be parted.

tagging: @today-in-fic

#x files fanfic #msr

[oodlyenough]

characters for you if you're still bored at work - Tifa, Mystic Maya, and/or Scully

Tifa!

First impression: unfortunately i'm pretty sure it was when they first showed footage from remake and men on the internet complained her tits were too small and I was looking at the discourse like

Impression now: I love Tifa and my primary goal in rebirth is to make her approval rating go up. Her punches have the power of kicks

Favorite moment: hmm my memories of Remake are pretty foggy now and I'm barely into Rebirth. I suppose predictably, I like all the childhood flashback stuff. I also liked voiceover Tifa roasting me for poking around her house. And I like all the synergy moves that amount to "throw Tifa at the enemy".

Unpopular opinion: honestly I don't think I'm clued into ff7 fandom at all so I don't know what's popular or unpopular lol.

Favorite relationship: Tifa and Cloud ofc love me Tifa. But I have a soft spot for Barret and Tifa too. Bros...

Maya!!

First impression: Honestly I remember my first impression way back in 2020 being like "oh I don't get to keep Mia..? 🤨". Sorry Maya

Impression now: I love Maya... weirdgirl supreme... everyone wants what she has. The measure against which all others are judged. I miss her so much in AA4.

Favorite moment: i love when she busts nick's chops which is like, every five minutes. for more serious moments, probably either of two from Turnabout Goodbyes: yelling at Lotta for perjury and getting held in contempt, or rushing MVK and his taser. In retrospect it really is a shame 1-4 is the only climax she gets to be part of :/ OH. Lmfao. And when you try to present the picture of Greg to Edgeworth and Maya intervenes like "What the fuck is wrong with you" fhlhfgkl so funny. Thanks babe

Idea for a story: I don't know if I have a great answer for this bc it's either something I kind-of want to write or it's something underbaked. I want to write something where Maya gets to showcase her emotional maturity and depth and all the stuff she bottles up for the sake of her family. Which is pretty vague, as concepts go. I want her and Nick to talk about Mia, I want her and Edgeworth to talk about Phoenix, I want her and Franziska to talk about their insane family legacies.

Unpopular opinion: Nick is definitely not her father figure lol.

Favorite relationship: 🥺 Nick and Maya ofc. I don't ship it at all and I don't think there's anything remotely romantic in their interactions (sorry Pearl) but I think fandom overcorrects by talking like they're Literal Family. They're a weird secret third option (Doctor-companion style besties). Shipwise: Franmaya lol

Favorite headcanon: I'm not sure how to distill any of them into a bullet point lol.

#daenystormborn #you've got questions we've got answers #i got scully in another one so i'll do her there lol

[thebeautifulfantastic]

okay, I'm officially not the same person after having watched the X-Files episode "Beyond the Sea."

there's so much I loved about it. for starters, it's the most Scully-centric episode so far, which is a great thing of itself because it took me a bit longer to figure Scully out as a character. Mulder is more open with his emotions and expressions, so it didn't take long for me to get a read on him. we learned his motivations and part of his backstory within the first few episodes. but Scully is more reserved, and she's more private. there was no doubt from the beginning that she is deep and there's more to her than what meets the eye. and it's here in "Beyond the Sea" that we see her family, we learn about her parents' disapproval of her career, and we see how badly she wanted to make her father proud despite making the choice she believed was right.

it's also so clear here how Mulder and Scully have grown close to each other. they've been through stuff together. there's trust. you can see it in the way she tell him she loves her job, in the way lays her jacket over him, in the passion that bubbled up when she though the might lose him.

and I guess it's the whole relationship-centric-ness of the episode that make it come together so nicely. it's the juxtaposition of it. even the case they're working centers around Scully's relationships. because here we have Mulder and Scully's roles reversed. She's the believer, he's the skeptic. She's working through her personal life and her past, and he's trying to understand from the outside in. Scully's outside her comfort zone. she's out of her depth. but we get to see her rising to the challenge. we get to see the inner believer she'd kept under wraps emerge. we get to see her try to reconcile those two sides of herself ,and reconcile the two most important relationships in her life: her family, and Mulder.

she's raw and vulnerable and hurting, but at the same time she's strong and kind and honest and real.

[daisychainsandbowties]

What are your thoughts on a warrior nun x files au? i think beatrice & lilith would probably work well as scully and mulder

beatrice a staunch catholic doctor with her “whole life ahead of her” as people say, and maybe that’d be true, that’d be enough for her if her staunch catholicism wasn’t secretly & unfortunately not so staunch especially in… certain areas.. and her accomplishments never being enough for her family, and she knows it’s extremely unlikely but a small part of her still hopes that working in the government will make her family view her different

instead of lilith’s obsession with the halo, it’s with aliens, because of her sister’s disappearance, not knowing she should be looking more closely at her family

she’s definitely kind of tarnished both her and her family’s reputation with her staunch interest and belief in the existence of aliens, so that’s probably even more pressure on her

the halo bearers are a group of aliens who took lilith’s sister, to tie back into canonverse lilith’s family producing a lot of halo bearers. maybe the halo bearers aren’t a singular species of aliens, they’re all taken from different places ala lilith’s sister and were made into halo bearers, and they have to keep making more halo bearers, for unknown reasons they probably don’t know themselves

which is how shannon & her “bff” mary get wrapped up into all this stuff, because shannon was abducted and either mary was with her and thus taken along too or made it her mission to find out what the fuck happened to shannon, and probably also how ava got wrapped up into stuff, if ava is also a halobearer

aha! from the depths of my inbox here is the anon with 👀👀 a seriously awesome x files au

basically my thoughts on this au are yes pls 👀🥰 (the shanmary 🫠🫠 cry cry)

#this is A+ btw #i think i held onto it for so long bc it was so good & i had nothing useful to add #picture me as a dog ‘helping’ to cook pasta with this one #wn x files au #anon

[baronessblixen]

I'm trying to pump out all the Scully family types before I dig deep for an in-depth analysis on the family's history and personal dynamics--

SO! Melissa's Type assessment is almost done!!!! (I'm on FIRE recently... hope it lasts. XDDD)

Oh yeah! Can't wait to read it. Sending you fiery work vibes so they will last you a while 🔥

#lovely asks #excited for melissa #she was taken from us too soon

[nwbeerguide]

Irish Distillers Clonakilty Distillery and Oregon brewery Pelican Brewing Company collaborates to release the 2nd edition of Clonakilty Father of All Tsunamis Stout Cask Finish Irish Whiskey,

Press Release

Clonakilty Distillery, Ireland and Pelican Brewing Company, Oregon have joined forces once again to bring a new cask-strength collaborative Irish Whiskey to the Oregon market.

Clonakilty Father of All Tsunamis Stout Cask Finish Irish Whiskey.

The journey to create this limited release Irish whiskey began with Pelican Brewing’s award-winning Father of All Tsunamis Imperial Stout casks. Post-disgorgement in Tillamook, Oregon, eight of these precious casks were shipped to Clonakilty, Ireland.

On arrival at Clonakilty’s Atlantic Ocean warehouse, these casks were filled with Clonakilty Irish Whiskey. Through interacting with the surrounding maritime environment, the spirit developed a unique and distinct coastal influence as well as undertaking beautiful notes of bitter cocao nibs, roasted barley, espresso crema, and whispers of vanilla from its six months spent in its new found vessel.

After patiently waiting for this whiskey to come of age, 2,900 limited-edition bottles were filled at 52% ABV (104 proof) and began their journey back across the Atlantic to be distributed in liquor stores throughout Oregon.

Member of Clonakilty’s founding family, Sean Scully says, “As an independent distillery heavily focused on sustainability it is always a pleasure to have the opportunity to work with a company like Pelican, who align with so many of our core values.”

“Being such a ‘big’ beer, the phenomenal ex-stout casks that Pelican are gracious enough to provide us with, not only contribute beautiful traditional stout characteristics to the whiskey but also bring a delightful creamy mouthfeel to the forefront.”

Pelican Brewmaster, Darron Welch speaks highly of the newly released Irish Whiskey – “I just love how robust and rich the Clonakilty Father of All Tsunamis Stout Finish came out.  The depth of flavor and rounded finish make for an incredibly satisfying dram!”

Clonakilty Father of All Tsunamis Stout Cask Finish Irish Whiskey is now available in Oregon liquor stores.

Tasting Notes

Nose: Dark Chocolate, cut hay, cantaloupe Palate: Bitter cocao nibs, treacle, vanilla, espresso crema Finish: Roast barley, charred oak and chocolate and vanilla

About the Whiskey Name: Clonakilty Father of All Tsunamis Stout Cask Finish Irish Whiskey Release Date: May 1st, 2022 (Now Available) On Sale: Available in liquor stores throughout Oregon now. Price: $69.95 ABV: 52% ABV (104 proof) Limited Release: 2,900 bottles in total.

About Clonakilty Distillery Opened in 2018, Clonakilty Distillery has a $10 million facility in the heart of West Cork, Ireland. The Scully family, the founders of Clonakilty Distillery, have farmed this windswept coastal land for 9 successive generations. With the best resources that nature has to offer, prime land, pristine water and salt sea air, they had the perfect

ingredients for a maritime distillery. It is here that they distil their award-winning new make whiskey and store their casks, safely tucked away in their warehouse on a windswept cliff edge next to the Atlantic Ocean.

About Pelican Brewing Company Pelican Brewing Company was born at the beach in Pacific City in 1996. Here, in front of a rundown old building at the water’s edge, stood three enthusiastic young folks whose thirst for great beer overshadowed their understanding of what it would take to build a brewery. They did it anyway. And now twenty years later, older, and wiser, Pelican Brewing Company is a craft beer industry leader with fans throughout the Northwest and around the world. 

from Northwest Beer Guide - News - The Northwest Beer Guide https://bit.ly/3N95rZt

#Beer #News #Brewery

[jesscoloway17]

Emily's here!

Dana Scully sat at her desk, flipping through mountains of paperwork. It had been a long day at the FBI, and she was eager to pack up and head home. The X-Files division had always been a whirlwind of paranormal investigations, but lately, their workload seemed to be even heavier than usual.

As Scully organized her files, she heard a soft knock on her office door. Looking up, she saw a young woman standing in the doorway, a striking resemblance to her partner, Fox Mulder. Scully's heart skipped a beat as she recognized the familiar features that mirrored hers and Mulder's.

"Emily?" Scully whispered, unsure if she was dreaming or hallucinating. Emily was the name of the daughter she had lost in a traumatic incident years ago.

"Yes, Mom, it's me," the woman replied, her voice filled with warmth and familiarity. It was then that Scully noticed the unmistakable shade of red in her hair, just like Mulder's.

"But... how?" Scully could barely get the words out as overwhelming emotions flooded her senses.

"I've been searching for you for so long, Mom," Emily said, tears streaming down her face. "I wanted to find you, to know who my real parents are."

Scully's mind raced as she tried to process the extraordinary circumstances unfolding before her eyes. She motioned for Emily to take a seat, and the two women settled into a deep conversation. For hours, Scully and Emily talked about their lives. Emily explained how she had grown up in an adoptive family but had always felt a connection to something more extraordinary. She had inherited her father's relentless curiosity and had decided to dig deeper into her origins. The investigations had ultimately led her to the X-Files division, where her parents had spent countless hours unraveling the unexplained.

As they continued talking, Scully recounted the difficult decision she and Mulder had made to give Emily up for adoption for her own safety and protection. Scully knew all too well the dangers that came with their line of work. It had been excruciating for both of them to let go of their child, but they believed it was the only way to keep her safe.

Now, faced with an adult daughter who possessed her own fierce determination, Scully felt a mix of joy, guilt, and relief. She was finally able to be the mother she had always longed to be, but at a time long after her daughter's childhood.

The following days at the FBI were a whirlwind. Mulder and Scully introduced their colleagues to Emily, a living testament to their complicated history together. The X-Files division, often filled with skeptical agents, couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and wonder at the reunion.

Though the dialogue between Mulder, Scully, and Emily lacked creativity, the emotions within each word were palpable. The family had lost so much, but they had also gained something they thought was forever out of reach. They were united now by more than just their love for each other; they were bound by an unbreakable connection that defied time and space.

As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, Emily settled into her new life. She joined her parents in their work, using her investigative skills to shed light on the unexplained. Together, they formed an unyielding force that delved into the depths of the unknown, armed with love, determination, and the truth they sought.

And in the corridors of the FBI, the tale of Emily's arrival brought renewed hope to those who had spent their lives chasing answers to the mysteries that surrounded them. For if a child of the X-Files could find her way back, then who's to say what other miracles lay waiting to be discovered?

#the x files

[randomfoggytiger]

The Scully Family In-Depth (Part XI): The Last Conversations of One Melissa Scully

Melissa Scully is not long for this meta series; but what she does contribute is a rather intriguing peek into Scully's psyche-- exposing how drawn her sister was to radical or "out there" ideas long before Scully admitted it to herself-- as well as the funny confirmation that both her sister and her mother find Melissa's antics aggravating.

SEASON 2'S ABDUCTION FALLOUT

The effects of Scully’s abduction silently punctuate her resolutions throughout Season 2, spurring her to appear stronger than her capabilities (Firewalker’s “Mulder, I appreciate your concern. But I’m ready. I want to work” and Irresistible’s “I’m not having trouble, Mulder. I’m fine. Really”), an extension of her denial in Beyond the Sea but with more mature fragility. (Both are, of course, symptoms of growing up in a Naval household with an eagerness to please a father that respected perfection in himself.)

Although Scully references her experience on the brink of death once in Dod Kalm--“Mulder, when they found me, after the doctors and even my family had given up, I experienced something I never told you about. Even now it’s hard to find the words. But there’s one thing I’m certain of: as certain as I am of this life, we have nothing to fear when it’s over"-- the theme of her loss plays heavily upon the rest of the Season, be it Mulder's overprotective streak or her resolution to appear stronger than her capabilities (i.e. Firewalker, Irresistible, Our Town, etc.)

This response stems back to her childhood: wanting to please her Naval father, she internalized and emulated his efforts to achieve perfection in himself. In The Blessing Way, Scully is told that her self-perceived failures would be considered strengths by the late captain; but it takes years for her to embrace that truth for herself.

Digging a little deeper, we find that, although she relates tidbits of her time in the beyond, Scully leaves out her communion with Melissa, Nurse Owens, and especially her father-- still not able, at this point, to accept those parts of her experience.

MULDER'S DEATH AND SCULLY'S SHAME

Anasazi and The Blessing Way are a whirlwind for Scully, leaving her vulnerable, bashed, and beaten down when all her efforts are seemingly in vain.

After being put on leave from the FBI and “losing” the tape her partner died for, Scully stumbles to her mother’s house, ashamed and wavering in her convictions. 

When her mother opens the door, Scully is lightly tapping at her right thigh with her shoes, an attempt to focus on that repetition rather than her stampeding emotions, and attempts to keep a semblance of control through her tearful confession (without much success.)

Maggie welcomes her with a gentle “Dana…”; and Scully forces a practiced smile as she breathes an answering, "Hi, Mom."

Taking in her daughter’s fragile stance and barefoot condition, Maggie asks, “What’re you doing with your shoes?”

It's a tell-tale sign that all is not well: despite the various difficulties in the field or at home, Scully has never voluntarily taken off her shoes unless in extremities; and her mother, knowing these prim and proper habits, immediately intuits something serious has happened.

“They, uh, they started to give me blisters…” Scully warbles, lifting and dropping her shoes as more of her facade cracks, reality cruelly setting in.  

Her mother’s incredulous, “You walked here this time of night?” breaks the last of her escape from reality: there is nowhere else to escape, no other distraction on hand to keep her emotions at bay; and Scully can no longer pretend that everything is alright as long as she puts one foot in front of the other (a method she’d tried and failed to use in Beyond the Sea-- and will again in Memento Mori, Elegy, Gethsemane, and Redux.) 

Her composure melts completely, face crumpling as she moves into Maggie’s arms to simultaneously seek comfort and hide from her own vulnerability. It’s a signature of Scully's the audience and Mulder were introduced to in Season 1's Pilot and Season 2's Irresistible; and is now confirmed to have been her coping mechanism stemming from childhood.

Matron Scully scoops her up unhesitatingly, worriedly questioning her baby girl until Scully admits, heartbroken, “I’ve made a terrible mistake. Dad would be so ashamed of me", and breaks down into an onslaught of constrained tears and grief.

MELISSA FUMBLES THE BALL

The Blessing Way has a notorious deleted scene; and this analysis would not be complete, I believe, without including it. Not only does it align perfectly with canon, but it also reinforces the interpersonal dynamics present in One Breath; and is, therefore, vital to the Scully Family meta series.

After Scully has poured her heart out, Maggie does her best to glue her daughter back together. “I don’t see how you can fault yourself. You had to make a choice-- you did what you thought was right.” 

“No,” Scully negates, voice wavering, eyes turned aside, “I did what I thought was right for my partner.” 

Their interaction is incredibly telling not only of Scully’s Starbuck complex but also of her modus operandi when acting outside of known variables: trusting another person’s judgment over her own. This kneejerk reaction can be used healthily if she follows her own intuition as well (e.g. Anasazi and All Things); but if Scully distrusts or doubts her intuition, she kneejerks to an opposite reaction, shutting down and seeking purchase wherever she can (The Blessing Way, Never Again, and also All Things.) This aspect of her personality isn’t resolved until Season 7 when Scully saves Daniel Waterston’s life by relying solely on her instincts; but until then, Mulder and her family act as the solid foundation upon which she builds herself... until, until.  

"Wouldn't Mulder have done the same for you?"

That sentence is two-fold interesting: not only does Maggie call Mulder "Mulder" here instead of "Fox"-- likely due to a scripting error or perhaps in deference to her daughter's pet peeve-- but she also places complete faith in the man that shouldered her daughter's disappearance and recovery alongside the family. It's a simple, touching nod to Mulder's impact and the bond she shares with him.

“Yes, but that’s exactly it, Mom! I behaved exactly how Mulder would have behaved-- I lied and I countermanded my superiors because I thought that the pursuit of the truth was more important.”  

Maggie listens, unruffled. “And wasn’t it?” she asks, showing her naturally rebellious streak that is not deterred or dissuaded by protocol, rules, and regulations-- completely opposite to the obedient military wife one could easily attribute to her. 

“I don’t know what the truth is,” Scully admits. “But as far as the FBI is concerned, the truth is that if all of their agents behaved this way… they wouldn’t be able to do their job. And they’re right.”  

Maggie knows what her daughter won't, can't say out loud; and cuts through the doublespeak to give the assurance she could not in Beyond the Sea: “Dana, if you’re really worried what your father would think of you… I think that he would see that there’s no right choice… and no wrong one.”  

From Scully's view, the disobedience to her superiors outweighs the pursuit of the truth, at least to her father. But in light of Maggie's revelation and rejection of that notion, it leaves the audience-- and her daughter-- wondering how well Scully knew, or thought she knew, the late captain. As strict and striving and ladder climbing as he seems to be, at a glance, Captain Scully was also a man who stood by his principles and married a woman prouder of her husband's personal achievements than his professional ones, willingly carrying on his legacy to their children after his death.

Though comforting in its nuance, this thought is at odds with what Scully supposed of her father, failing to alleviate her doubts long after this conversation ends. Not until she irons out her own internal struggles can Scully accept the wisdom her mother provides.

Reaching out to draw in Scully's chin, Maggie adds, “He would have been very proud and supportive of his daughter.” 

Another interesting sidenote: Maggie’s action and Scully’s response is another proof of Mulder's instincts to draw her attention back by gently maneuvering her chin or face. Without being told, Mr. VCU Golden Boy divined a second method of comfort stemming back to his partner's childhood (as if those two’s connection wasn't spooky enough.) 

Scully still clings to her naysayings. “Mom, there was a right choice to make. And I didn’t make it. I went with Mulder to New Mexico--” 

They’re both interrupted by the door opening abruptly, her eyes blinking in vexation as she prepares for a domestic intrusion.  

Melissa barges in, halts, and treads carefully forward as Scully seamlessly picks up the thread she’d dropped a moment ago: “I never should have let him go off by himself. He was in no condition…” 

This sets up the dynamic present not only in The Blessing Way but also throughout the show: Scully is reluctant to offer up information unprompted to her mother, but does not seem to share the same reticence with her sister (no matter how meddlesome or pushy Melissa tends to be.) 

Melissa pulls a psychic prediction out of her hat-- “Something happened to the man you work with, hasn’t it?”-- and smiles, elated, over the talent of her sixth sense.

Maggie, as usual, tries to cut off her older daughter’s intuitions… which means that even a woman who believes in her own loosely psychic dreams barely tolerates Melissa’s enthusiastic tirades (post here.) 

“Melissa, please.” 

“No,” her daughter continues, “no, I’ve been feeling it for the last couple days. He’s become ill or something.” 

Scully, predictably, looks annoyed at her wound being so blindly poked at. 

Melissa predictions raises an interesting point: if Melissa can sense when Mulder is gravely ill or on the verge of death, does she channel it through her sister, like Maggie did when predicting her daughter’s abduction? If so, that further proves my "Scully is a conduit" theory (posts here and here.) 

Maggie, noticing that Scully has shut down after Melissa’s speech (and fed up herself), announces “I’m going to go make coffee” before stalking away to take a breather. 

Melissa hesitates, reading the tension in the room while internally debating if she should probe further; but, incorrigibly, she decides not to let the matter rest.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” 

Scully keeps her sister in the peripheral, sighing as she prepares herself for the impending conversation.  

“Melissa, Mulder is very likely dead.” Even after seeing the smoke billowing out of a train car, even though she believes it herself, Scully still won’t admit to what can’t be proven. 

Melissa pauses, stares into the middle distance as she searches for something, and pronounces, “No-- you don’t believe that.” 

“No, I do.” Scully insists. 

“I’m getting very strong feelings otherwise.” 

Scully looks almost frightened by her sister's denial. The fear of the unknown is driven by Scully’s fear of not truly knowing herself; and she avoids what she cannot understand-- her father’s death, her memories, her endless line, her cancer, etc.-- but can’t stop feeling until her concerns are addressed (in this case, through Melissa’s insistence; in other cases, through Ed Jerse or Daniel Waterston's false leads or Mulder's insistence that she face facts.)

“I wish it weren’t true…” Scully begins, wobbling over gathering tears. 

“No! No, Honey, it’s more than that--” Melissa ecstatically reassures, kneeling beside her sister and rambling in her enthusiasm. Here, she can help; and she intends to do so. “You’re radiating, Dana.”  

However, the bonding moment is lost when she mentions, “You have a connection with him that’s still strong, powerful,” hitting on two things Scully doesn’t want to own: the depth of her love for Mulder and her current disbelief in her own intuition (which is still whispering that Mulder alive.) 

“Melissa. Don’t do this.”  

Melissa recalibrates, but insists. “Well, I know what I feel.” 

“Fine, we’ll leave it at that,” Scully snaps, getting up as fast as she possibly can, “because you have no sensitivity to my feelings.” 

“Oh, Dana.… I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t feel so sure.” After a second of empathetic silence, Melissa again insists, “You need a second opinion.” 

“This isn’t a medical condition, Melissa. It is a statement of fact-- it is either true or it isn’t.” 

Melissa tries to salvage the conversation, but accidentally hits nerve after nerve in her unwieldy use of the truth: “...you may even be feeling responsible right now, but if you could just see through your guilt and your anger, then maybe you can look past this Western empiricism.”  

Predictably, her sister does not relent: “I’ll make sure to consult my taro cards when I’m out looking for a new job, thank you.” 

Casting her eyes to the heavens (a tic often used in fractious conversations with her sister), Scully doubles back to chastise and more accurately vent her feelings. “Melissa, I have lost somebody.”  

Even though Melissa wisely shuts her mouth rather than doubling down, the brief second she'd pondered it nettles her sister further.

“I would like to deal with it in my own way.” 

Again, Melissa stays silent (against her better judgment), allowing Scully to have the last word before following in Maggie's footsteps by walking swiftly away.  

Once Scully is no longer in sight, Melissa grips her forehead, clasps her arms around each other, and turns inward, reflecting on Dana's throbbing wound and, perhaps, how she could have handled the situation better. 

DENIAL AND UNWIELDY TRUTH

When Scully finds the chip in her neck, her desperation drives her back to Melissa, another proof that she and her sister's bond is tighter than any temporary annoyance or fight between them.

But it also begs the question: Why not her mother? 

When Scully reaches out to Maggie-- The Blessing Way, Wetwired, Redux II, A Christmas Carol, etc.-- it is only when she is on her last leg and has given up and given in, seeking maternal comfort in a "weak" moment of strong, human emotion. These moments, however, are fleeting when compared to the times she reaches out to Mulder and Melissa; but if we look closely, a pattern emerges. When Scully needs to be encouraged to fight her battles, she seeks out Mulder or Melissa; when she needs to bind up her wounds and heal, she finds Maggie. Overtime, Mulder takes on both of these roles, becoming both tender protector and immovable truth pursuer; but the shift truly begins after Emily Sims's death, carrying through the events of Season 5 and onward (and widening the gulf begun between mother and daughter during Memento Mori.)

“I don’t even know how long its been in there,” Scully tells Melissa, shaken by another layer in the many unknown layers lingering from her abduction. “I have absolutely no recollection of it being put there.” 

“That is frightening,” her sister agrees, while Scully visibly shakes at the opposite end of the table.  

Both sisters know how terrifying this: Scully relies on what she knows and can prove; which ties her memory directly into her understanding of the world, either through knowledge of its mechanics or direct, first-hand experience. To have that taken was one of the greatest evils inflicted on Scully; but the fear of recovering even more traumatizing memories keeps her in a paralyzing stasis, too fearful to face how much she has lost and too fearful to reclaim what little she can.

“Dana, this is very serious-- you’ve gotta find out… what this is.” 

Scully’s shift from shaking tower of strength to bothered and inflexible little sister goes unnoticed-- or ignored-- as Melissa twists the chip back and forth in scrutinizing study.

“I don’t have access to the FBI labs,” Scully begins before Melissa, stunned at her sister’s priorities, redirects with, “No, I’m talking about access to your own memories.” 

This is stage one Melissa: so focused on uncovering a particular truth that she obliviously steamrolls over the other person’s silent objections-- tactless in her fervor. Any attempts to cut her off only escalates her feverish insistence-- “I mean, obviously you have buried this so deep you can’t consciously recall it."

Scully visibly struggles to press her emotions and fears down in order to shut the conversation down-- “Melissa.”

“I know someone who can help you--”

“NO!” yells Scully, slapping the table hard enough to shake the dishes. In her anger she betrayed weakness; and both she and Melissa know it. 

Melissa, hurt but sympathetic, swallows her own frustrated feelings and shifts into stage two: purposeful pushing of another person’s boundaries (ala confronting Mulder in his apartment in One Breath)-- measuredly pointing out a weakness with an honest rebuke.  

“What are you so afraid of, Dana?”

“You’re afraid you might actually learn something about yourself?”

This pulls Scully up short, tapping into the perpetual struggle she’s warred with since Beyond the Sea (and that won’t put to rest until ourobors tattoos and Buddhist temples.)  

“I mean, you are so shut off to the possibility there could be any other explanation except for your rigid, scientific view of the world.”  

Scully swallows down her fears once again, angrily ping-ponging back and forth between rebuttal or allowance. Ultimately, the words stick-- perhaps echoing her later partner’s own confrontations or guidance-- and she slowly lowers her defenses, walking closer to (but not toward) her sister. 

Melissa continues: “You’re carrying so much grief and fear that you can’t see that… that you’ve built up these walls around your true feelings and the memory of what really happened.” 

Scully is too exhausted to keep fighting, having flailed nonstop against herself and her beliefs and her convictions since Mulder’s death; and at Melissa's “Just do this for me" she acquiesces, expelling more fear in a rushing outtake of air.

Melissa isn’t satisfied with a non-answer, pressing further with an “As your sister. Please” until Scully’s face shifts into firm resolution. 

As we know, Scully bails on the regression hypnosis; but this this scene highlighted a key aspect of her of her relationship with Melissa, especially when contrasted to her ones with Maggie and Mulder:

It established her sister as the person Scully gravitated to for advice: even if Melissa's words were chafing or unintelligible, she still sought out that comforting, “bigger picture” perspective, the same one her partner has provided since the Pilot. Before she even met Mulder, Scully had a thirst for other perspectives, and was more open to taking in and heeding “out there” opinions than she liked (likes) to let on.  

Maggie Scully was not her daughter’s confidante. Throughout the series, Scully avoids life-changing decision talk with her mother (joining the FBI, giving credence to her mother’s dreams, telling her directly about the cancer diagnosis or the baby’s sex, etc.); and, as previously mentioned, that begins to widen the gulf between mother and daughter. Maggie feels loved when her loved ones share their personal feelings and struggles with her-- which Melissa and Bill Scully seem to do more freely (we’ll get to that) and Dana does not. Why is this the case? Perhaps it has something to do with Maggie's gossiping tendency (which we shall hit upon in Gethsemane), or perhaps it's because of the strict lines she draws in and around her personal life.

Scully does not want crossover in her life: her family and friends are organized into two categories-- comfort or confidante-- and stay in those categories for their protection and her sanity. Maggie Scully is her mother, not her confidante; Melissa is her confidante, not her mother; and when the two try to cross into areas not offered to them, Scully gets annoyed and withholds even more information. Mulder, it seems, is the only person to peel back the dividing line between the two; and even then, not without resistance and patience (Memento Mori, for example.) It’s part of Scully’s fear of letting her walls completely down (as explained in her monologue to the social worker in A Christmas Carol); and part of the mystery of Mulder, who is the perfect combination of Maggie’s comfort and Melissa’s persistence: helpful and supportive but truthfully exacting. 

THE LAST CONVERSATION

Melissa calls after the mytharc plot kicks up to dangerous levels for Scully, eager to help her sister process whatever was uncovered in the (ditched) hypnosis session. 

"Hello?" Scully asks, on-edge; but walks back from her paranoid greeting when Melissa responds, “Dana? It’s your sister.” 

Melissa’s “Hi-- where’ve you been?” implies she’s been calling for a day, maybe more, in worry when Scully left her high and dry after their talk.

“I, uh, I had to go to Boston. For a funeral.” 

“Well, I was worried about you.”

“Why?”

“Because I haven’t heard from you since you saw Dr. Pomerantz.” 

Scully immediately tenses, knocking herself mentally over the head for forgetting; then realizes she either has to face Melissa's scrutiny now or slough off her concerns for a more convenient time.

“Missy, something strange happened to me today," she says, admitting her panic over strange events that were unfolding in her life.

Anticipating and accepting her sister’s offer to drive over, Scully ends the call with renewed resolve: having turned a new, hopeful leaf after her vision from Mulder, she is-- more than ever-- ready to listen to her intuition, open her heart, and confide her fears and feelings to someone else. 

That openness follows her to a reunion with Mulder… but clams up, once again, after her innocent decisions lead to the death of her sister.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #The Scully Family In-Depth #Part XI #The Last Conversations of One Melissa Scully #In-Depth #Scully #Maggie Scully #Melissa Scully #Mulder #meta #xfiles #x-files #the x files #mine #S2 #The Blessing Way #Anasazi #One Breath #Dod Kalm #Irresistible #xf meta

[deathsbestgirl]

even disregarding anything beyond s7, they literally live such joyless lives. like, the grief they have experienced is overwhelming, how could they ever truly be happy with that grief always hanging over their heads, the discomfort that would bring is enormous

well, no. they did not have joyless lives. like everyone, life happens to them and that means pain & grief but that doesn't mean their entire lives & existence are joyless.

we really only see them at work, we don't know what goes on outside of it.

they're actually really happy in season 1 & season 7. in season 1, they're getting to know each other, they become best friends quickly. the smile & laugh constantly, they tease each other. they always enjoy their debates & most cases. even when they're scary, even when they don't get all the answers. they get to know each other so well in that time and it's a gift to them both. they still have light moments in every season and you can't love like they do and be just miserable. in season 7, they're together. they're experiencing so many new things in their relationship that they've wanted for a long time and finally let themselves have. they're constantly flirting & smiling and talk about their feelings more openly than they have in the past.

and the other years, they find so much in each other when the world turns their back on them. mulder is scully's light when she loses melissa, when they close her case, during her cancer, with emily. he fights so hard for her and holds her up when she needs it. scully is mulder's light through every hard case, when he loses his mom, helps him find closure about samantha. she is always pulling him from the depths. he tries so hard to tell her what she means to him in his mulder way, and she finds so much meaning in a keychain & he's in awe of her. she's always asking him to get out of the car because the truth & work doesn't have to be all their lives are. and eventually he starts to learn and they play baseball and they dance and have movie nights and exchange gifts.

mulder & scully learn what to do with their grief, the love they can't give to the people they've lost. mulder fought for every child & family they came across and never gave up until they had answers, or were safely returned to their families. scully goes back into the medical field and helps every child & family she can. they go home to each other and they have a quiet life for a while.

yes, mulder was sick for a while but he comes out the other side more able to relax and he lives. he asks scully on dates, they go back to the work they love and it's much lighter than it was before. until they come across their son. there was pain in that, but there was also so much relief in knowing that jackson was loved. he had parents who loved him and took care of him and tried to get him help when he needed it. he played baseball. and for a little while they thought he was dead, but scully realized the moment his body disappeared that he wasn't really dead. and they sought him out and he gave scully small little gifts that he could. the snow globe, the knowledge that he was alive & could protect himself & that he really wanted to know her. he heard every word she said to him. my struggle iv ends very open ended. they think jackson was shot but scully is pregnant again, and they have a chance to be parents to another child like they always wanted. and you can believe they never see jackson again but that just. can't be the truth. it's open ended to leave room for them to come back, because the x files never gives us all the answers. because the fact that jackson is alive & they're having another baby is so hopeful. maybe we don't see them as a family in the end, but i think they made it clear mulder & scully never give up and jackson wants to know them. he wanted to protect them but he's just a teenager.

grief is hard but it's a part of life and it doesn't mean they can't be happy. it might never be pure, but there's no such thing as pure, untainted happiness. it's the human condition. we get to feel the whole spectrum of emotions and life grows around grief. you learn what to do with it. you learn ways to share the love you can't actively give to the people you've lost. but the connections & love don't go away. that love is belongs to you and there are so many ways to honor it, to share it with others and it can still be all about that person. that's what the x files is all about for mulder & scully. it's always what the show was about. chris carter was right: mulder and scully are the light in dark places. the show is all about their love, the way they love each other & the world & all the love they're surrounded by.

#well i answered this pretty earnestly #like idk man. i'm here because i watched the x files with my dad #and i showed it to my wife & i dragged my friends into it #and i've talked about him enough that someone wrote a fic inspired #by him and what i've said #sometimes i feel like i'm drowning in my grief #of missing him of him not getting to know renata #but i've learned ways to keep the connection alive #like scully singing joy to the world to william #or all the space pajamas & toys & the mobile #mulder couldn't be there but she made sure william could feel his presence somehow #that she could #when she thought he was dead she was carrying one more mulder #he wasn't the last one and he would never be forgotten like samantha wouldn't be forgotten #like melissa like scully's dad like mulder's parents like every person they ever helped #the x files #mulder and scully #txf txt

[orphanedshadow]

continued from (x) with @ladiesandwitches

“Well, even urban legends, no matter how ridiculous, are said to have come from some original basis of truth, so I suppose it’s reasonable to believe that they might have some helpful information,” Scully allowed, if reluctantly. Though the young woman made a fair point, she didn’t like the idea that even giving so much as an inch of allowance to any kind of ridiculous, fantastical local stories would also give Mulder more of a an allowance to take them seriously and drag her all over the country to investigate mothmen and yetis.  “So which is it?” Scully asked, “Someone being cruelly practical in silencing their victim or someone who believes they’re doing a ritual to honour some old voiceless God?” Both were equally likely; there had been enough killings in America over the decades due to cults and fanatical belief systems, that it wasn’t too out there to believe someone might think themselves a devotee of a deity-level boogeyman.  “They would have just left them there? Screaming for as long as possible because they thought it was an offering?” Scully couldn’t hide her disgust or her horror even as she tried to remain professional, “Have you seen this before? Or have you just read about it?” She hoped it was the latter. If the girl had seen it for herself before then that meant there was either a serial killer, or an entire cult creating ‘offerings’.  Scully hesitated over the buttons on her phone, “What do you mean you don’t see eye-to-eye?” She was starting to sense something as off as the mutilated corpse on the ground, and every instinct in her body was telling her to be on age, to not trust everything she was seeing. Trust no one, Mulder always told her. “Who are you really? You said you’re a ‘metaphysical investigator’, but I don’t think you’re telling me everything. I think you’re keeping secrets and you know more about all this than you’re saying” Her hand went to her gun, ready to draw it if necessary, “You have no intention of explaining yourself to anyone I call in; well you’re gonna have to explain it to me””

Why did investigators always want more answers than she wanted to give? Who she was didn’t matter, this wasn’t her victim, and the hunter couldn’t do her job if she was stuck babysitting an FBI agent.

“Yes, I have seen this sort of thing before, I have been doing this since I was very little. Call it a family business, one that is not always appreciated by your kind.” Normal people, law enforcement officers, it was all the same in that regard. No one seemed to appreciate her work, or even noticed anything more than a change in the local mortality rates.

“As for your question. In this region? Based on the patterns? I suspect followers of the voiceless god. Especially given the depth to which it was buried and the disinterment. This region was colonized by one of the lycan sects, and there are some indications on trees near the burial site.

Her hands moved to twist into a claw-like shape as she knelt down by the corpse once more, lining her fingers up with the markings on the bone, though she kept her other free just in case. "These were made by a wolf’s-claw, a sort of tool that mimics the claws of a wild animal. They slide over the fingertips, somewhat akin to metal thimbles, and are sharpened to rip through flesh. Some variants are held in place by the thumb, but not all of them.”

Fingers hovered over the corpse, pointing out tiny pinpricks on the bone. “Now these ones lack hesitation marks, and would be in non-vascular areas. They would be done by a leader or an elder, in the initial sacrifice. They would be painful, but not enough to cause shock.”

Other bones were soon gestured towards, these ones with a variety of scratches “As for these ones, they are of different distances, indicating different people with different hands. Some have hesitation marks and are quite small, potentially from someone participating for the first time. These would be delivered once the person passes out, to draw out the "last scream” and would usually be performed by all those who are of age. It is believed that the more of these that are delivered the moment before the victim perishes, and the more people participate, then the more fruitful the harvest will be.“

Kara decided it would be best not to mention that there was a reason that most of the smaller and shallower of the claw marks were located on the outside of the thigh, or how those areas were considered "safe” for the youngest to test their claws on.

“Most sects sacrifice the oldest ram of the flock, like this one may have in the past. There were traces of wool around the burial site, as well as a fire and bone bundles. The sheep are eaten afterwards, then the bones buried for a time, until they are dug up, left to dry for a few weeks, and then bundled.”

After a second of thought she gestured vaguely to the surrounding area, a region that had clearly had a few bad harvests in the past. “When harvests fail despite the sacrifice of rams some people will resort to the older methods. In many faiths that practice such things is believed that the more value a sacrifice has then the more the gods will listen…” And perhaps they would…but unfortunately this path tended to lead to some rather unpleasant places.

“Are those enough answers agent, or is there more you need?”

#in the eye of the storm: thread #ladiesandwitches #scully tag pending #to kill monsters she became one: hunter

[alexa-crowe]

sad that by the time all the writers figured out that mulder did in fact want a family and that it was in fact what he’d wanted all along dd had already left 🙃

#they were like “mulder would never fit in in suburbia” who said it had to be suburbia? #“mulder wouldn’t know how to handle home life” he was thrust into a family that wasn’t his and scully’s ofc he’s out of his depth #🙄🙄🙄 #he deserved to spend time with scully and william #txf

[scullys-girl]

The Road Ahead: MSR, teen +, season 8

“Damn elevator,” Mulder practically yelled as he slammed his left palm against its closed doors. He was in a hurry, the need to see Scully more prevalent than ever. But as quickly as his anger appeared, he found himself with another idea and threw open the door to the hospital stairs, taking them up three at a time. Never had he been more impatient. He was sweating profusely and probably smelled like ass and body odor but he didn’t care.

When he got to Scully's room he quickly ran his fingers through his hair – because Scully might care just a little bit – and then knocked on her door, being polite in case she was exposed. This was still so new to them.

“Come in,” came her tired and sweet voice, so he opened the door, finding her on the bed with circles under her eyes but a warm smile upon her lips. “I just got him to fall asleep.”

Suddenly so tentative – because this had to be a dream, right? – he tiptoed his large, clunky feet over to the side of the bed and peered down to find his son suckling in his sleep, his tired mouth still attached to Scully’s breast. For a minute, he was speechless. He ran a single finger over William’s fuzzy hair and smiled. “He’s got my nose. Sorry, Scully,” he said, and she chuckled sleepily.

“I happen to love your nose, Mulder.” She smiled, looking up at his face, his nose, his lips.

His lips?

“Are those for me?”

Oh. He’d almost completely forgotten about the bouquet of flowers he’d gotten in a hurry on his way here, especially when she was looking at him like that. “Yeah. These are you for, Scully.”

“Thank you,” she smiled as he held them up towards her nose. She closed her eyes and smelled them. “They’re beautiful. Can you put them on the table over there? I’ll see if the nurses have some water we can put them in.”

Mulder set them down on the other side of the room next to another (larger) bouquet in a glass vase and a card from her mother. He thought about flowers and birds and bees…. no, not bees… but sex, and how they’d created William together nine months ago whilst making love. He turned back around and joined her side again with a genuine grin. He had a son, and he had his Scully.

“How are you feeling?” That was the next thing that came to his mind. “And William?”

Scully smiled with her teeth and looked down at their son who was still attached to her, swaddled in her arm. “We’re really good, Mulder,” she said as she looked back up at him. “Really good.”

Suddenly, he wanted to lean in and kiss her, so he did just that. She tasted like Carmex and apple juice. He hadn’t kissed her in days, maybe weeks, and the sensation of her soft, warm lips on his made him want to weep.

Things had been awkward when he’d returned from the dead. Hell, he’d even suspected Scully had become pregnant on her own after he was gone. It had taken a couple of weeks of them tiptoeing around each other before they finally talked, and soon, not even an hour later, they were making love in each other’s arms again, the curve of Scully’s belly pressing softly against him. Their child together.

So much had happened since that night, yet not entirely enough. It’d been a beautiful and loving reunion, tongues colliding and I love you’s whispering from bated breaths. Yet, they hadn’t made love since, and they hadn’t talked much more about their relationship either. He hoped they would get it sorted out eventually; he wanted Scully to be his wife – if she would have him in that way– and to move in together, to raise William with one another and be a family. But he still wasn’t quite sure where they stood. That was, until he decided to kiss her. Her lips were so tender against his and he knew, he just knew, she still wanted him too.

Their eyes met as their kiss faded away– loving, passionate, warm. He flicked his sights between each of her pupils, finding home in their crystalline blue depths.

“I’m so glad you both are safe,” Mulder began, wrapping his arm around the front of Scully’s that was holding their son. “I know we haven’t talked much since I’ve been back, but I want this with you, Scully. To be your partner in every sense of the word. I want to raise William together. I want everything. I love you so much, Dana.”

Hot tears began to run down her face– from hormones, from exhaustion, from being in love. “Oh, Mulder. I wasn’t quite sure if you–” She hiccuped and tried to regulate her breathing so as to not wake the baby. So Mulder spoke for her, giving her a moment.

“I do, Scully. More than anything, I want you. And our son.”

Closing her eyes, tears fell from her face and peppered the hospital blanket in little, wet droplets. “I love you too, Mulder,” she finally managed with a whisper. “I know so much has happened and that we have a lot to talk about, but I want this too.”

This time, she was the one to kiss him. She cupped his jaw and pulled him gently down to her. He felt her tears soak his face, then realized they were his own. Oh, how he loved her.

The baby fussed from around Scully’s nipple just as Mulder was contemplating if it was appropriate or not to slip his tongue inside her mouth, as if to remind them the road ahead still wasn’t going to be easy.

“Is he hungry again already?” Mulder couldn’t imagine someone so tiny could need that much food, but he couldn’t blame the guy for wanting to have Scully’s nipple in his mouth as a soothing technique.

Scully shook her head and tucked herself back into the hospital gown; Mulder helped her button it back up. “I think he’s just wet. Do you– would you mind?” she asked, gesturing toward the hospital bassinet that also doubled as a changing table. “It’s still very… uncomfortable for me to get up and move around.”

Oof, right. Ouch. He would have to thank her for the rest of his life for giving birth to their child, especially in the traumatic way that she did.

“Oh. Sure,” he said hesitantly. “Uh…”

Scully gently handed William over and showed him how to hold his head, how to change his first diaper. Mulder cradled his child to his chest as he fell back asleep, letting Scully drink a whole jug of water and down a granola bar in minutes. His son smelled like new baby, like a love he never knew existed. He held him as Scully drifted off for a few minutes until a nurse came into the room with a quiet knock.

Scully rubbed her overtired eyes and sat up. The chipper but friendly nurse introduced herself as Anna and moved to help Scully up to use the bathroom. But Mulder gently stopped her with his words, handing the nurse the baby.

“I gotcha, Scully,” he said, putting an arm around her waist.

“You want to help me… to the bathroom?” she asked a little incredulously.

“It’s the least I can do.” He opened the door and helped guide her inside the bathroom. “Besides, I’ve always wondered how big those diaper thingies are that they make you wear.”

She hissed with pain from all of the movement but chuckled as he closed the door behind them, and then kissed him on the cheek.

A few moments later, the nurse outside, who was swaddling William back up and placing him in the bassinet, giggled as she heard the man in the other room ask – what she assumed was his wife – a gasping question...

“You have to spray what now?”

The baby cooed.

They were a family.

—

Ao3

Tagging @today-in-fic

#florilegia #no one will prob read these but that’s okay