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sjhhemmings · 5 months

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#14. being torn between wanting to get rid of their feelings for the other and wanting to nurture the feelings in a hopeless, masochistic way

FROM : FORBIDDEN LOVE ~ PROMPTS about showing love without confessing

FOR Brian Zvonecek x fem pls 💜💜💜

Forbidden Love #14

brian zvonecek x fem!reader

a/n: so it took me too long to try and figure out how i wanted to write this so i hope it turned out okay! i’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted anon, i tried haha. much love 🩷🩷

warnings: swearing, angst, aggressive fluff, anything i missed

Y/N’s POV:

Once again, you woke up in bedsheets that weren’t yours, massive hangover, and those same melancholy feelings creeping up on you that you get every time you leave.

You look over to the digital clock on what should be labeled as your side of the bed that read 4:32 A.M.

Trying to slightly sit up without waking up the man next to you, you try to track down where your scattered clothes ended up landing throughout the room.

It’s the same routine every single time. You always wake up before him, and when you do wake up it’s still very early morning. So when you end up tracking your things down and leaving without a trace you were even there, you’re able to make your escape before the sun has even risen.

Once you’ve gotten dressed and prepared your walk of shame, the regret that usually hits you in a few hours comes immediately. You don’t want to leave. You don’t want to leave before the sun has risen. You don’t want to be lying in your own bed at 8 A.M. the morning after really good fucking sex.

Fuck it. You begin to contemplate completely ditching your routine and just laying back down, just spending the morning together like normal people. Enjoying your time together.

But you can’t. So you leave his room shutting his door as quiet as possible and walk out.

Once you’ve made it out of his apartment building at 5:04 A.M. you start crying as you walk down the street. You must look like a hooker right now. Smudged makeup, messy hair, large sweatshirt, and obviously no self respect since you might as well be the face of the definition for ‘The Walk of Shame’.

Once you’re laying in your own bed, you grab the pillow next to you and let out the most guttural sobs you have ever cried. You can’t do this anymore. You can’t continue loving him only in the night and completely ignoring each other in the day. You want him all the time. You want him for all 24 hours of the day, all seven days a week, and every single day in every month of every year. You want to call him yours and be that possessive girlfriend that’s able to leave hickeys on his neck so other girls will know he’s off limits.

But you can’t, and if you can’t then you’re done with the one night stands. You’re done with the praises, and the ‘good girl’s, and the ‘god I love you’s. You’re just done. You just have to be done.

The next week at work was a shit show. Working with the only person you could ever want to spend the rest of your life with and not being able to do anything about it sucks. The stolen glances, and avoiding, and only being able to sulk the whole time sucks. You don’t honestly know how much longer you can live like this. So you don’t. You talked to Chief Boden and you have some family in Utah so you’ll just take furlough and visit them for the next 2 months. That should be the perfect amount of time to get over this silly little crush.

Brian’s POV:

The part of the night I dread every single time has finally arrived. The routine. Where she thinks I’m asleep when she wakes up, sighs, then gathers her stuff and leaves without a word before the sun has even risen. It breaks my heart each and every time.

Without checking, I can assume it’s probably 4:30 since that’s about the time this whole thing starts.

I try to lay as still as possible. I try to go against every want- every need in bones to stop her from leaving. To stop her from not spending the morning together. But I can’t. I can’t stop her, this is the way it has to be and we both know that. We can create something magical in the night, then pretend it never even happened during the day. The thing about that magic though, is I crave it more and more every time. She’s becoming a drug I don’t think I can continue to live without. I don’t think I can continue giving her up the seconds the sun rises. I want her all the time. There’s never not a moment of the day where she’s not on my mind and working with her only amplifies that.

This morning though, at the time the door should be attempted to be shut as silent as possible, doesn’t happen. Shes still in the room, but she hasn’t left. I can sense her hesitation and the only thing I could ever ask for, for the rest of my life, is that she stays. That she comes back to bed I can hold her until the end of time. But before I know it she does leave. The door is shut, and the room gets cold. It feels empty. My shell of a body is left alone still feeling the warmth of where she once was on her side of the bed.

Her side of the bed. No one else has ever lied there since before our situation has started. Her side of the bed.

This next week at work i’ve been hopeful. I’ve made a plan. On our next night together which should be tomorrow, I’m going to ask her to stay. I’m going to ask her to break the rules and stay with me.

After work I get ready for my shift at Molly’s and I wait. I wait for her to walk in, and I wait for her shyly come to the bar and ask for a drink. I wait for our flirting to begin, and I wait for the night to end so I can take her home. I wait so I can reach the high I can only get with her, and I wait to ask her to stay. To stay until the sun rises, to stay and have breakfast and to let me hold her in my arms. Tonight is the night.

Or at least I thought it was. An hour later than the time she usually comes in has arrived and i’m anxious.

“Hey Brett, have you seen Y/N?” I ask trying to be as normal as possible to draw the least amount of attention to myself.

“Uh, no?” She says giggling obviously already tipsy.

“Oh well usually she’s here by now and I haven’t talked to her so I just wanted to know if she was running late or what.” I say drying off a glass trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.

All she does is laugh in my face.

“What?” I ask confused.

“Did you not hear?” She asks getting semi-serious.

“Hear what?” I ask growing irritated.

“Let’s just say I don’t think she’s going to make it tonight.” She says laughing while finishing off her 3rd drink of the night.

“What do you mean?” I ask while making her a new drink, giving her an incentive to talk to me.

“Oh, you really didn’t hear. Um Y/N is going to Utah to visit some family for like the next two months.” She says taking this more seriously.

“What!?” I basically shout out drawing a lot of attention to myself.

“When did she leave?” I ask not having a clue about whatever this little adventure she was going on.

“Her flight was pretty late, like 11 P.M. she left for the airport like two or three hours ago to beat traffic.” Sylvie says with a little more sympathy.

I check the time that read 10:34 P.M. Calculating that the airport is a 15 minute drive from here, I can make it.

“What was her gate number?” I ask a little more rushed.

“Uhh,” Sylvie checks her phone for the exact number, “25”

“Tell Herrmann I have to leave, i’ll make it up to him another time. Um, Thank you.” I tell Sylvie as I gather my coat and keys walking out from behind the bar.

“Goodluck.” Is all she says as I get to the door. And I leave without saying anything back.

“Your light is green, just go!” I yell at the car in front of me. Let’s just say when I’m stressed traffic is not my most favorite thing in the world. Aka why this 15 minute drive turned into a 20 minute drive.

The second I park I run into the airport sprinting to find her. Gate 25, Gate 25, Gate 25, is all I repeat to myself as I’m running around like a maniac.

Y/N’s POV:

I fidget with my nails as I sit looking out the large airport windows. I’m supposed to board in like 10 minutes. I don’t know why I thought this would be like the movies where Otis would come to the airport and try and stop me from leaving, but I guess that just proves how much we don’t belong together.

“Flight 756 to Salt Lake City, Utah from Chicago, Illinois you are now boarding.”

I get up at the announcement and make sure I have everything I need. Taking a deep breath I get in line.

Brian’s POV:

“Flight 756 to Salt Lake City, Utah from Chicago, Illinois you are now boarding.”

I hear the announcement as I’m at gate 7, i’m not going to make it. I continue running through the airport just so I can get there in time. I don’t care if I have to yell that I love her in front of hundreds of strangers or off the top of a rooftop, she will know.

Only If I can make it in time.

Gate 21

Gate 22

Gate 23

Almost there. I continue running with everything I have in me, I need to see her. Oh shit I think I do see her. I see her hair, and her clothes, and how perfect she is even when she’s about to leave me. But before I’m able to fully reach her flight is when another flight has landed releasing at least 75 people in my way.

I look down to check my watch. 10:57, and the line is getting shorter. Fuck. Shoving my way through tens of people at a time I finally reach her gate.

And when I do, the flight attendant is closing the door. No one is here. I drop to my knees giving into the overwhelming feeling to cry. I sob actually. I’ve never felt so broken. 2 months without the love of my life. She’s probably going to come back engaged to a guy from Utah to invite us to her wedding then leave again.

She’s probably going to forget about me. I don’t even know why I bothered, there’s no way she would love someone like me.

After maybe 20 minutes I wipe my eyes not knowing what to do next. Do I buy my own ticket and follow her or do I wait for her to come back? Fuck.

“Brian?”

I hear my name coming from the most beautiful voice that has ever spoken. I immediately look up and there she is. Right in front of me.

Y/N’s POV:

Our flight ended up being delayed due to weather and we got let off the plane. Coming back to the spot I was at before we were basically tricked, I see Brian. Brian on his knees crying. Sobbing actually. The sight makes my knees weak and my lip wobble. I don’t want to make him cry. I didn’t even know he knew I was leaving. He really just didn’t get here in time.

I walk up to him and say his name but my voice cracks because I’m on the verge of tears now also. He looks up immediately. His face lights up as he sees me like it’s too good to be true.

Getting up he pulls me into one of the biggest hugs we’ve ever shared. It’s amazing. Feeling him wrapped around me is something I never want to end.

He pulls back and cups my face with both hands. He’s looking at me like it’s the first time he’s really seen me. Now this does make me cry.

“It’s really you?” He asks sniffling a little bit causing me to chuckle.

“Yes.” I say almost silently.

Taking a deep breath he kisses me on my forehead and lets go of my completely.

The wet kiss is something I still feel even with the empty space between us. The space that neither of us want between us.

“Y/N, I don’t want you to leave.” Is all he says. I give him a little time to add on and when he doesn’t I scoff.

“You came all this way to tell me you don’t want me to leave and that’s all you have to say?” I ask in disbelief.

He stands there in shock because we’ve never had a fight. We’ve never really argued for that matter. Our strong suit is really just in flirting if that makes sense.

I roll my eyes and turn around for a second before I walk back up to him.

“I love you, you know?” I’m so fucking in love you with you it hurts! Leaving you before the sun rises hurts! I can’t do this anymore Brian! I can’t just have you at night then act like I don’t know you exist during the day! We won’t work. This doesn’t work.” I say and his expression changes maybe 10 different times.

I take a deep breath before I say what pains me the most to admit. “I love you but I can’t do this, just go home.”

Fully expecting him to leave without saying a word I turn around and walk off. I’m done.

“Y/N wait!” He finally says running back up to me.

I wait for him to continue talking and when he doesn’t I turn back around. Finally him spinning me and keeping my in place by holding my shoulders he starts talking again.

“Listen to me please. 5 minutes.”

I wait a few seconds before agreeing.

“No. No I won’t go home. I came here knowing exactly what I was going to say, but seeing you leave once broke me. I sat on the floor and sobbed. I’m not going through that again, seeing you come back is truly just a second chance that I won’t pass up. I love you Y/N. I love the nights we have, and I hate the mornings we don’t. I crave you every single day feeling lost without you on my mind. Your smile is my saving grace and your humor is my kryptonite. I want to love you for the rest of my life, I know I will love you for the rest of my life. Please, I’m begging right now. Please stay Y/N. Stay for me. Stay for the future we could have together, stay for-“

I finally cut him off with a kiss. A deep and hopefully never ending kiss. Our lips move in sync, and our bodies feel like magnets that’s shouldn’t be without one another. He’s mine and I’m his. I break the kiss coming back up for air and I admire the way he looks at me. God I love him.

“You’re mine you know that right?” I ask and he nods chuckling.

“I’m in this for the long haul, so no stupid fights where we leave one another after not talking it out, and no not communicating how we feel ever. This is forever.” I say making dead eye contact with him and he nods rapidly.

“So will you stay?” He finally asks.

“I would never leave you.” I say resting my forehead on his.

After I did that, an eruption of applause fills up the room and we look at each other. We were too busy confessing our love for us to realize we just shouted all of that in front of a whole airport. But I wouldn’t want it any other way.

credit tagging: @youneedsomeprompts (i hope you like it!!)

#chicago fire #one chicago #otis chicago fire #brian otis zvonecek #brian zvonecek #brian zvonecek x reader #otis x reader #writing prompt

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 1 year

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Earlier this month, a train carrying hazardous chemicals derailed in East Palestine, Ohio, triggering a massive fire and forcing everyone within a 1-mile radius of the crash to evacuate. To avoid a potential explosion, officials conducted a controlled detonation of five tankers three days later, sending carcinogenic vinyl chloride into the air. Two days later, residents of the 4,500-person village were told they could safely return home. Many questioned the safety of the air and water supply.

Since then, reporting has made clear that this environmental disaster was less a freak accident than a predictable outcome of lax safety measures and capitalist greed. Here’s what you need to know about the Norfolk Southern rail company.

NORFOLK SOUTHERN CHOSE NOT TO UPGRADE ITS TRAINS’ “CIVIL WAR-ERA” BRAKES.

A report in The Lever notes that the train that crashed in East Palestine was not equipped with Electronically Controlled Pneumatic brakes—fully electric brakes that experts say could have reduced the severity of the crash. Although Norfolk Southern once touted its use of ECP brakes, it lobbied against requiring them on trains carrying hazardous materials. An Obama-era rule required that HHFTs have ECP brakes, but the Trump administration overturned this rule.

NORFOLK SOUTHERN WORKERS DON’T GET PAID SICK TIME.

Remember when the Senate voted to avert a rail strike and deny workers sick leave? Norfolk Southern workers were among those affected. When investors encouraged Norfolk Southern to offer paid sick leave, the company said, OK, we won’t furlough people as often. Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT.) has since demanded that rail companies offer workers at least seven days of paid sick leave.

RAIL COMPANIES REFUSE TO HIRE ENOUGH WORKERS.

Unions say that the rail industry’s use of furloughs to reduce the workforce stretches staff too thin. As Timothy Noah wrote in the New Republic, the 141-car train that crashed in East Palestine carried just two crew members and one trainee:

"On February 10, Anya Litvak of The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported that security camera footage 20 miles short of where the derailment occurred showed a rail car axle that appeared to be on fire. Why this information was not transmitted quickly to the train crew remains unknown, but it seems likely that the answer has something to do with the number of people who were in a position to sound the alarm."

NORFOLK SOUTHERN HAS SPENT BILLIONS ON STOCK BUYBACKS.

Norfolk Southern made $4.8 billion in operating profit in 2022, More Perfect Union reported, and paid shareholders $4.7 billion in stock buybacks and dividends.

As my colleague Hannah Levintova explained last year:

"A buyback is when companies purchase shares of their own company from investors, driving up the value of the remaining stock because there are fewer shares circulating. Buybacks are taxed at the lower capital gains rate, which maxes out at 20% for the wealthiest households. But for those investors who don’t sell their shares back to the company, there’s no tax—even though the value of their holdings has increased. Until that investor sells the asset, their wealth will grow tax-free. And thanks in part to a tax code loophole that enables the wealthy to pass shares on to their heirs, who can then skip paying capital gains taxes on them altogether, buybacks play a role in building untaxed generational wealth."

THE TRAIN THAT CAUSED THE CLOUD OF SMOKE OVER EAST PALESTINE WAS NOT CATEGORIZED AS A “HIGH-HAZARD FLAMMABLE TRAIN.”

Thanks to pressure from industry lobbyists, the “high-hazard flammable train” categorization applies only to trains carrying a narrow set of materials, like crude oil, The Lever also reported. That designation would have required that the train follow specific speed and braking restrictions.

DESPITE MAKING BILLIONS IN PROFIT, NORFOLK SOUTHERN INITIALLY OFFERED JUST $25,000 TO EAST PALESTINE.

Norfolk Southern managed to scrape together $25,000 for the town that’s been doused in toxic chemicals. People who fled their homes under fear of death can claim $1,000 per person per household. Since then, the company has announced increases in charity.

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camillafanfiction · 8 months

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Africa Calling - Part 1

September 1979

Camilla stretched her arms and with a little sigh sat down on the comfortable sun lounger by the pool again, her legs bent in front of her chest. The first half of September had been unusually warm this year and it was wonderful to soak up the sun. Charles, who was sitting on the sun lounger next to her, was still fiddling with his new video camera. Earlier this month he had captured Tom’s first day of school with it and just yesterday he had filmed how little Laura was taking more and more firm steps, almost running off now.

After a little less than one month after Lord Mountbatten’s death it seemed like Charles was finally starting to really enjoy life again. With Camilla and her wonderful warmth and joie de vivre it felt free and simple, carefree and somehow just… perfect. In April, right after Laura’s first birthday, Andrew had been called to Rhodesia and would be staying there for the foreseeable future without much furlough, much to Charles’s delight. If he had his will, he would probably have moved in by now, Camilla knew. Well, in a way he had, at least since Uncle Dickie’s death anyway… He was spending more time with her children and her than ever before and whenever he was off duty he came around. Camilla, too, felt much happier since they spent so much regular time together, but they both knew, too, that they had to be more careful than ever. With Tom turning 5 in December and having started school on September 3rd, he began to understand and talk more, so they were very careful to not let anything of their love show in front of him.

“Hey, Miss Sexy!”, Charles suddenly said and held his video camera directly at Camilla, who was looking absolutely to die for in a rather small stunning red bikini with white polka dots. One and a half years after Laura’s birth, she’d lost almost all of the baby-weight and looked most perfect, though she had never really bothered about her weight. She’d also grown and nurtured her hair and it was now falling over her shoulders in almost long, golden waves. He loved that length on her, it made her look like a goddess.

Camilla tilted her head towards him, tried to look indignant and breathed a shy “No pictures, please!”, but after a second failed miserably and was only able to splutter and almost fell off the sun lounger.

“Silly girl,” Charles grinned with a shake of his head. “I’m not taking photos, I’m filming you.” And indeed, he was sure he’d taken the most amazing clips of her, capturing her wonderful laugh, her beautiful body and pretty surely he’d even managed to highlight her incredibly sexy venus dimples that he loved so much.

“You’re an idiot.” She rolled her eyes as Charles’s lens came way too close to her cleavage and she playfully put her hand in front of it. “No, no, no,” she laughed. “You’re being naughty, Sir.” With one smooth, quick movement she grabbed the camera and carefully pushed it to the side and into the grass.

“And you’re being cheeky, Miss,” he retorted, saving his camera before he snatched a kiss from her, which suddenly led to a playful tiff, heating up the whole situation out of nowhere. They’d made love not too long ago, earlier this morning, but the tingling and prickling still hung in the air and flushed through both their bodies. Camilla hadn’t planned on it, but she’d fallen madly in love with Charles again just around her 30th birthday last year. Charles, on the other hand, had never stopped loving her and was still head over heels in love. He was crazy about her and would probably be all of his life. At least he couldn’t imagine a day in his life where didn’t love or want her.

“Let’s continue this conversation in bed,” Camilla breathed against the Prince’s mouth. “My legs can’t wait to hear what your hands have to say…”

Camilla looked at Charles in surprise, then laughed and threw her head back, looking absolutely sexy without intending to. “You must be joking!”

Charles shook his head and stroked tenderly over Camilla’s naked back. “I’m being very serious, my darling.” he replied, but he could read on her face that she was still trying to figure out if he was taking the mickey out of her or if he’d suddenly gone mad because of his suggestion.

She turned to her side, presenting her wonderfully full breasts. “Darling, you can’t be,” she shook her head.

“But I am,” he insisted, kissing her collar, which made her smile.

“Are you sure you’re not in some kind of a post-coital bemusement or something?”, she giggled, teasingly running her index finger over his stomach and down to his crutch. It made him moan and she grinned again, lovingly and sexily at once.

Camilla noticed very well how much will-power it took Charles to push her slightly away. “Let’s talk about it with a sober mind, maybe at tea time when we’ve recovered from that wonderful orgasm?!” he suggested with a smirk, making no secret out of just how much he loved that lusty lush life with her.

“Are you talking about mine or yours?” she teasingly poked him in the ribs and they both laughed. Then she propped herself up on her elbows. “How about before the children are running and rampaging around us again?”

Later that day the lovers sat in the garden again, right in the grass with Laura chasing around them as good as she could. The sun was still up in the sky and bees and butterflies were humming in the air. Camilla had well avoided the topic they’d been talking about earlier that day, but she could read on his face that wasn’t through with it yet.

“Lovey,” he nudged her, “I’ve been very serious when I asked you to be my official companion for Rhodesia. You’re the perfect fit!”

Camilla shook her head in disbelief. “In your wildest dreams, darling.” How could Charles seriously consider her as an official companion for the handover of Rhodesia? She was just a mum and housewife and, most of all: his affair.

“You’re absolutely underestimating yourself, darling.”, Charles contered. “Let me tell you why you’re perfect.” He kissed her palm. “Firstly, you’re happily married to Andrew and he’s the leader down there. So, obviously, you want to be with him at that particular event, you’re a proud army wife after all.” He heard Camilla’s chortle, but chose to ignore it. “Secondly, because you’re happily married nobody’s going to think anything when you’re accompanying me.”

“Despite all our friends and the rest of high society…” Camilla interposed with an amused grin.

Charles shook his head and placed his index finger on her mouth. “Thirdly, you know how to behave, are a perfect companion and, first and foremost, you make me very, very, very happy. Just imagine a grumpy Prince of Wales at such an important event…”

“And your family would, of course, totally approve,” she replied ironically, rolling her eyes.

“Well, Uncle Dickie can’t complain anymore and Mummy actually thinks it’s a nice idea.”

“Your mother thinks ‘it’s a nice idea’?!” Camilla raised an eyebrow.

Charles shrugged his shoulders, his face unimpressed. “Yes.”

“There’s no way I’m going to get into a plane for what, 13 hours?!”

“Not even for your favourite little prince?” Charles looked at her with puppy eyes.

“Darling, I’m going to embarrass you… the monarchy… I’m just… you know… your devoted old house wife friend from the countryside…”

“You’re the perfect consort, my darling.”, he encouraged her. “And I’ll reward you graciously”, he whispered into her ear, which made Camilla giggle.

“Fool,” she laughed, but then got serious. “I’ll think it through. But don’t put your hopes up.”

Charles rolled to the side, a content smile on his face. For the moment that was all he needed to know.

#queen camilla #queen camilla fic #king charles fic #king charles iii fic #king charles

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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 6 months

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Loved the last chapter of Best intentions! It made me want to ask, how did Max propose to you? :)

Thank you so much! That makes me so happy to hear. The final chapter of a series is always the one I worry most about, as there's the stress to get it perfect and not end the story feeling like you've just ripped ass and then left the room lol

Max proposed to me during the pandemic (it was during the early summer of 2020) - he was furloughed, so we were spending a lot of our free time outside in the sunshine at our local park.

We'd taken a bottle of red wine there on a Sunday afternoon and were sitting having a chill time. He'd been sat crossed legged opposite me for a while, braiding strips of bark from a Linden tree. I didn't really think anything of it, because he's a bushcraft instructor, so has a tendency to play around with stuff he finds in nature.

But when he'd finished, he formed it into a tiny band and slipped it onto my ring finger. I commented that it was cute and he asked "what if I got you a real one?" and I immediately burst into tears because I was kind of drunk, and then that was that lol

#asked and answered

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lou-struck · 1 year

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Pumpkins and Paint

Sakusa Kiyoomi x reader

Flufftober Day 12:- Painting Pumpkins

~You surprise your boyfriend with some less messy seasonal fun

Your grocery bags are a bit heavier than usual today since you had to pick up a little seasonal surprise for your boyfriend.

Logically you know that you probably should take the groceries inside in more than one trip so you don’t spill anything, but you live your life under the philosophy that; One should never take more than one trip to put away the groceries, so you end up with all the bags tucked in your arms. But once your car door shut you realize that the bags could tear and spill their contents all over Sakusa’s Driveway.

With your phone tossed haphazardly into one of the bags you have no way to call him for help so you do your best to waddle to the front door. Each step comes with the small sound of your paper grocery bags tearing slightly. It only makes you speed up your little waddle until you finally make it up the concrete step of Kiyoomi's porch.

With an awkward lean into the doorbell, you are able to press the button with the tip of your elbow. The door swings open revealing the handsome face of Kiyoomi Sakusa. Upon seeing you with your arms full sighs and shakes his head in mock disapproval.

“You didn't want to take two trips did you?”

“Omi,” you huff, “Why would I take two trips if I could carry all the bags in one?” This brings a smile to your boyfriend's lips as he takes some of the bags from your arms.

Upon noticing the weight a look of confusion crosses his face and he tries to peek inside one of the bags “What do you have in here? Rocks?” he asks as you walk to the kitchen.

“Wait, don't look yet.” you say quickly “I have a surprise.”

Not wanting to deny you of presenting him with your surprise. He steps back.

Gently you reach into the bags and pull out two small pie pumpkins, and a box of painting supplies.

“ See? “You ask holding it out towards him “we can paint them. I know you don’t like carving pumpkins since it’s so messy and you don’t like the smell. They last way longer than carved pumpkins and they won't rot on the porch.”

“That’s really a good idea,” he says wrapping his arms around you and kissing the crown of your head. “You know me too well.”

“That’s my job,” you beam feeling at home in his arms.

“Hmm, but If you get any paint on my table I will not be happy.” he teases squeezing you a bit tighter. With a giggle, you squirm out of his grasp and grab an old newspaper to lay down on your workspace You take out the art supplies as well as a few markers so you can trace the designs.

As you prep the table, Kiyoomi gingerly scoops up the pumpkins and takes them to the sink so h can wash them with his usual diligence. He scrubs them with warm water to erase any trace of dirt or sticker residue before drying them with a fluffy towel.

With everything ready you begin to trace the outline of a ghost you saw in a picture online. The slight groves of the pumpkin make it harder than you anticipated but you finish the outline of your slightly lumpy ghost.

Curiously you peer over at your boyfriend's pumpkin to see what he is doing. It’s still early in his outline but you know what he is drawing already.

“Omi,” you tease “ are you really drawing a volleyball on the pumpkin?”

“ Maybe, “he chuckles his brow furloughing in concentration as he finishes the outline of his perfect circle. He really is good at everything. It makes you want to dedicate more time to your ghost.

You try your best to smooth your outline and fill it in as evenly as you can. Just as you begin to fill in the outline with a layer of white paint you feel a comfortable weight on your shoulder. You dont even have to look, The smell of fresh linens and shampoo gives him away.

“What are you drawing,” your boyfriend asks looking at your outlined blob.

“Can’t you see it? I’m doing a Ghost,” you say pointing to the design.

“Hmm,” he says tilting his head to try to visualize it better “It kinda looks like an egg.”

“I’m not done yet.” you scoff defensively, “let me see yours.” reaching over you turn his pumpkin and you come face to face with a picture-perfect volleyball sketch, it even is adorned with a little angry face.” Why does it look so good? Your eyes widen at the masterpiece and you catch a glimpse of Kiyoomi’s proud smile

“Do you like it?”

“Yes…” you mumble turning your attention to your ghost, “it really does look an egg” With a shrug of your shoulder, you decide to embrace the idea that your pumpkin looks more like an egg. With a few strokes of your brush and a small circle of yellow paint to resemble the yolk, you look at your finished masterpiece.

“Arent we an odd pair.” your boyfriend says looking at your pumpkins, “A volleyball and an egg.”

“We are a bit weird.” you giggle taking your pumpkin off of the newspaper. “Let's take this outside to dry.”

With your artwork in your hands, the two of you go to put them on your porch. You shut the door leaving the rest of the groceries that need to be unloaded forgotten.

#hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa x reader #kiyoomi sakusa x reader #haikyuu sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #msby sakusa

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jittyjames · 8 months

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for the fanfic writer asks!!

3, 11, 13, 19, 20, 24, 33, 39 (bc your fics drive me insane and i need more of your incredible works), 42, 45, 69 and 74!!!

sorry that i put loads, just choose whatever ones you want to answer out of the ones i’ve asked <3

YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO ANSWER THEM ALL BESTIE

3- ok so my process is basically non-existent, but i'll walk you through it anyway. so i'll have an idea for a scene literally at any point. sometimes it can be a single sentence or sometimes it can be a vague concept, but i always write it down. if i have my phone it's almost always going in my notes app. from there, i just kind of expand on the idea as it develops when i get back to my laptop. i tend to write the exciting and important scenes first in a very rough fashion, and then go back to fill in the blanks. then i go back and polish by combing over it for grammar mistakes and adding a few more details. that's pretty much it!

11- OOO! i'll do three for hamilton and three for jcs to appease both sides

FAV HAMILTON FICS AT THE MOMENT ARE a more perfect union by holograms (thanks to crys for introducing me to THIS), the monticello furlough by michelle_a_emerlind, and death of a nation by cyanspica

THEN HONORABLE MENTIONS!! LITERALLY ANYTHING BY YOU, CECE, AND XEN. I EAT THOSE UP EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME.

FAV JCS FICS AT THE MOMENT ARE obviously the incomparable ruined ambition series by @solarflicker (which i literally trip over myself to go read every time i get the email that it's been updated), picking up the palm fronds by onetrueobligation, and the cup that can't be filled by @ohsoldier (literally the good omens/jcs crossover of my dreams)

SO MANY MORE TOO!! BOTH FANDOMS ARE FILLED WITH SO MANY TALENTED PEOPLE! GO SUPPORT YOUR FANFIC WRITERS PEOPLE. FANFIC WRITERS AND FANARTISTS ARE THE ONES WHO KEEP FANDOM ALIVE.

13- "write for yourself, your dick, and your six closest friends." SHARED BY @fireballdance

19- my most used rating tag is mature, my most tagged ship is hamilton/laurens, my most tagged character is hamilton (obv lol), and my most used additional tag is hurt/comfort

20- i use a lot of rain imagery i think. actually i use a lot of weather imagery bc i'm annoyinggg. and then ofc i use aspects of my trauma in most of my fics (even ones you wouldn't suspect) but no one really would pick up on that since y'all don't know, but themes of abuse are certainly littered through out. obviously biblical imagery, too. i can't think of any phrases, SO IF YOU KNOW OF SOME THAT YOU NOTICED I'VE USED A LOT LEMME KNOW.

24- the worst advice i've ever gotten is if you're stuck, delete everything and start over. absolutely not. you can start over, but i wouldn't ever delete anything. even if i don't use lines in one fic, i can always recycle and put it somewhere else. NEVER DELETE. YOU'LL REGRET IT. TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

33- YES I WANT TO BE PUBLISHED. i have so many original novel ideas and i want to write southern gothic literature so badly. i doubt it will ever happen but that's the dream. i would also really like to write my own plays :))) but for now, i'm sticking to universes and characters i'm already familiar with

39- OOOO I HAVE SO MANY WIPS BC OF WHUMPTOBER (currently have a little bit over 30k words written 👀👀 and that's not even counting the kink stuff BUT I'M NOT GOING INTO THAT WITH YOU BC YOU ARE A MINOR) BUT LEMME PICK ONE I THINK YOU'LL LIKE

Philip’s forehead burned under his hand. Alexander felt something in his chest and stomach plummet to what seemed like hell. He remembered the feeling of this. He remembered how hot his mother’s flesh had seared as she shivered against him, her arms wrapped tight and secure as she hummed shakily to him. He remembered how she soothed her hand over his hair as she whispered te quiero over and over. He remembered her going still and cold.

42- THE LAST FIC I READ WAS calm you and anoint you (envy) by a_trick_or_two_with_lepers AND ABSOLUTELY. I LOVE IT. GO READ IT RIGHT NOW.

45- I OBVIOUSLY WANT TO BREAK MY READERS' HEARTS. IT IS MY LIFE'S MISSION. I NEED Y'ALL ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH MY FICS

69- hmmm i'm always embarrassed when i post smut but i'm not really embarrassed that it exists. and the fics i were embarrassed about have long been deleted from the internet SO NOT REALLY ANY OF THEM I GUESS

74- if it's a fic posted in an obscure musical fandom about trauma and has my long-winded ass writing style, it's probably me :)

THANKS FOR THE ASK I HAD A LOT OF FUN ANSWERING THEMMM. ILYYY MWAH 💙

#fanfic writer asks

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nancydrewwouldnever · 1 year

Note

I'm going to send this to my four favorite Chris blogs. If you don't want to post this- that's ok. I wanted to offer some advice.

I'm a Seb girl- been a fan of his since the Covenant. I've been through Margarita, Ellie, Ale, Annabelle, all his supposed hookups, all his confirmed hookups and everything in between. Believe me I've seen and heard some shit from that fandom and from Seb himself.

I used to love when he would appear on ig. But I could see the slow deterioration of his mental sanity during lockdown.

I was on furlough when Seb showed up in Spain 7/4/2020. Believe me I was livid. I was spitting venom. What the fuck was he thinking? He just called spring breakers in Miami dumb fucks not two months earlier. And he's in fucking Spain!

We immediately got boat picks of Ale (while I cannot fucking stand her- I will not use the name what was popular for her at the time.) And the fandom had a melt down. Where was our sweet Sebastian? The one who championed staying home? The one who did a bunch of interviews, donated PPE to a hospital, read I love you to the moon and back and spoke about nearly poisoning himself and mustard chicken?!

Then there was another pap walk in Spain. Ale began to bait in her stories and then she showed up in NYC for, you guessed it, another pap walk.

Long story short- it was meltdown after meltdown. Ale's baiting never let up and Seb seemed to be on constant vacation with her when he wasn't actually working.

For a long list of reasons I will not list here it was proven Seb and Ale were PR. And they lasted nearly two years.

I see a lot of the same thing happening in Chris's fandom right now. Yes he is just as responsible for this as Alba (just like Seb was as responsible as Ale was). And it seems, especially with the Disney trip, that the fandom may implode again.

Please listen to a fandom veteran and one who still had ptsd from Seb and Ale- it will all be ok. I know it doesn't seem like it but it will be.

You're in the thick of it now. Just remember this is all bullshit and they will go through great lengths to make you believe this is true. Just try to not let it get to you which is easier said than done (the amount of panic attacks I had between the Seb/Ale actions and the vitriol of the fandom was insane!)

Take care of yourself. Please try to remember that nothing that happens with Chris/Alba will have any effect on you in the real world. Your life will still go on and you will still have things you need to do.

And, since I've seen a few of these questions around I'm going to say my opinion on this, I think it's ok if you're still a fan. Is Chris being an ass now? Fuck yes he is. So was Seb. Does that make him a bad person? I don't think so. He's human and no one is perfect no matter what his image says.

Just try to focus on the good things, don't sweat the small stuff. Remember if she shows up at Disney (God forbid!) It's not the end of the world. Just laugh at the stupidity of it all.

One day this will be behind us and we can thirst in peace again.

I'll still be lurking to see how this plays out. I'm sending good vibes that everything is done a hell of a lot quicker than Seb/Ale. I'll be around if anyone needs some advice!

Good luck fandom! I'm rooting for you!

Thank you for this, Anon! I love other perspectives.

But, wait... you're telling me Chris and Seb both went to European countries on the same day, July 4, 2020, to do papwalks? Wow, I guess that really was CAA at work.

(July 4, 2020, is literally the Lily James hotel papwalk.)

#ask

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fighterkimburgess · 2 years

Text

Hey, Dad!

Summary: Father’s Day has been a sticky subject for Adam for years. It used to be painful to spend the time with Bob, listening to his dad complain about everything.

But on a sunny Sunday in June 2022, he learns the good parts about it.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: none

—

Father’s Day had never really been a day that Adam Ruzek enjoyed. As a kid it was always the day that he felt like he was supposed to impress his dad, and Bob was never happy with a macaroni card and some Cubs merchandise. As he got older and his parents had split up it just felt like a waste of time.

There’d been two of them since Kim had lost the baby. The first one, he was ashamed to admit, he’d spent in a drunken haze. He was supposed to be a couple of weeks away from being a dad, living with Kim and getting the nursery ready for their baby to come home from Med. Even having that baby and being platonic was so much better than not having them at all. So that first one he spent drunk on not great whiskey in his apartment, booking the day after off as a furlough day that he claimed was spent with his dad. Voight knew well it wasn’t, but said nothing. He was able to pretend at least for a little while that everything was fine and it wasn’t a mess.

The second was spent doing more pretending, but this time it was pretending that he didn’t love Makayla like she was his own kid already. It’d been ten weeks since Kim’s abduction, but Mack had fully wormed her way into his life and heart entirely too easily. She’d fall asleep with her head on his lap, grinning at him before settling down. He wasn’t her dad, though. He knew he wasn’t really. But they spent the day watching movies and relaxing, Mack helping Kim with her PT until he got called to a scene that evening.

This year, however, it didn’t even cross his mind. Things were so, so good for once that he didn’t even want to think about it in case he ruined the way things were. He got to live with the love of his life and they were making their relationship work. Makayla was his in all the ways that really mattered to him, and she gave him hugs at night and asked him to read her a story. Things may as well have been perfect.

Their Sunday pancake tradition was alive and well, so when he got out of the shower he dressed to go bring his girls their breakfasts. But instead of the coffee pot barely on there was a full plate in front of his place at the table, a card and messily wrapped box with an even messier bow on top on his chair.

“What’s all this?” He asked, sitting down as Mack oh so carefully pushed the holder that the coffee pot sat on towards him.

“It’s for you! Open the card first? Please?” She asked, and who was he to deny her anything he could feasibly give her?

“You did all of this for me? Then I have to, right?”

It was a handmade pink glittery card, more glitter than in a strip club on the front. But it was the message inside in a childish scrawl that made him stop and stare, blinking rapidly to make sure he was reading it correctly.

Dear Adam,

Happy Father’s Day! I love you. Can I call you dad from now on?

Love,

Mack

His eyes began to well up, staring at his daughter - the word singing in his veins as he realised she felt it too - who had visible nerves on her face. If she wanted to call him just Adam for the rest of her life he’d have been so happy just to be there and around. But for her to actually ask if he would be her dad? He never dreamed it.

“Yeah. If you want to call me dad then you go right ahead, ok?”

It was a whirlwind hitting into his chest, Makayla jumping from her chair and into his arms as fast as she could. Her head hit off his collarbone and she rest perfectly against him as he held her tightly.

“I love you, Dad,”

“I love you so much, Mack. You and your mom so much.”

He looked across to Kim standing to the side in the kitchen, just out of their way with tears spilling down her cheeks at the sight in front of her. He had his full family. It couldn’t get much better than this for him.

Or at least that’s what he thought until he opened the box in front of him. It was so clear how much time and effort his girls had put into the day for him, but when he thanked Kim she insisted it was all Makayla. There was a highly scheduled itinerary for the day that started with brunch and ended with dinner at Portillos, a drawing of a cake shake beside the carefully printed name. The middle was covered by hands at Mack’s insistence, wanting there to be a surprise for him. So they sat and ate pancakes and relaxed before starting their adventure for the day. Or at least relaxed as much as they possibly could when there was a seven year old bouncing off the walls from excitement and a sugar rush thanks to too much syrup on her pancakes.

The first stop was to the playground they used to go to, the one that was halfway between his old apartment and Kim’s old one. If he was honest he hated the memories of it. It always felt like he was a divorced father doing custody changeovers whenever he was there, even though Mack didn’t even have a bedroom in his place. But they’d meet and he’d push her on the swings as high as he could so she’d giggle. It must have been happy for her if she wanted to spend time there with him, so Adam put aside his worry and pushed her again.

This time it was him and Kim pushing her together, braids with white beads swinging behind her in the June heat as she giggled and screamed for joy. It was busier than it usually was, parents out enjoying the Hallmark holiday with their kids. He knew his family didn’t look exactly like people thought it should - and he and Kim both knew there would forever be a missing member - but it was his family, and that was what mattered to him.

The alarm on Kim’s phone sounded and Makayla immediately jumped off the swing as it came back down, landing on her hands and knees as he grabbed the seat and watched her pop back up.

“What did we say about making sure you don’t hurt yourself?” He asked, Mack shaking her head and smiling.

“I didn’t though!”

“Fine.”

Each of his girls took one of his hands and led him back to Kim’s car. It was part of the agreement for the day, Kim was doing the driving so he could relax. The drive was fun, relaxing and he enjoyed watching Kim go a convoluted route so he couldn’t tell exactly where they were going. When they did pull up at Navy Pier he was surprised, Mack bouncing in her car seat with excitement once they were parked. He wasn’t quite sure where they were going, but Makayla was the one who pulled him through the crowd, Kim taking a photo of his six foot frame being dragged by their four foot nothing child.

It was to the Ferris wheel, Makayla determined to battle her fear of heights. They had a Father’s Day special and he didn’t even ask, Mack getting in for free and sitting between him and Kim.

Pointing out everything on the Chicago skyline was special to him, and getting her to follow his finger and see Loyola Beach made them both grin. When they got back down he brought her into Build A Bear, watching her eyes go wide.

“Pick one. It’s a special day, you get a present too.”

It shouldn’t have surprised him, but they watched Mack choose a dark brown bear, whispering her secret to him and Kim and Adam recorded the message for the bear. The final decision was the outfit she was getting, and he and Kim were both surprised when she ignored the wall of costumes but went straight for the Chicago Police Uniform, picking it up with a grin.

“He’ll look like you two!”

What were they supposed to say to that? Even the badge looked like the ones permanently affixed to their hips, so it was up to the cashier to pay. They got a look from the woman behind the counter, the look that Adam had become more than used to receiving whenever he and Mack were out together. Instead of the anger he used to feel it was resignation, at least he knew that people were looking out for her and that had to mean something.

The final stop before going back to the car was the Ohio Street Beach, Mack running along to find sea glass for them. The three of them wandered through the tiny beach, calling as they found some.

“Mom! Look!” Makayla yelled and the two of them ran over to see the baby blue glass in her hand. It had originally been a pendant of some kind it seemed, but it was in four nearly perfect pieces. They slotted together to make an oval with a hole in the middle, Mack handing over her treasure to Kim.

“It’s nearly as pretty as you.” Adam bent down to push a kiss to the top of her head, firmly taking her hand as they went back to the car. He knew there was just one more stop, and he was excited for whatever they had up their sleeves for him.

He didn’t know what he’d expected, but to pull up outside Wrigley Field and be told to get out of the car was not it. Kim took the reins of this part of the day, giving their names and getting the lanyards for each of them to wear. It was a full tour of Wrigley, the place he’d never gotten to go as a kid. Bob had promised they’d do it, but his dad never came through. But this? His first year as a dad and they were doing it for him? It was nearly too much happiness to bear.

“Thank you,” he murmured to Kim before it began, his girlfriend turning to shake her head.

“Thank Mack. She’s the one who looked up the tour and decided you should do it. She said she wants to go to a game with you, but wanted to see here first.”

It was a magical tour for him, but one of the most fun parts was sitting in the dugout with Mack on his lap. The kids on the tour were invited up to try hit a pitch from home plate, and with a tiny bit of encouragement Makayla went up to do it. She looked tiny in the oversized helmet with a baseball bat in her hands, her new Cubs shirt open on as she stared at the guide preparing to pitch.

They were both prepared to need to comfort her, but Adam’s jaw dropped as with the first swing she’d ever done of a baseball, Makayla sent it a solid forty feet away from them. Everyone watching cheered for her, Adam and Kim clapping and whooping.

“DAD! Did you see? Didya see how far it went?!” Makayla asked, running into his arms and getting swung around in celebration. He didn’t realise Kim had been had been recording the swing, the video sent to Kevin before Adam even knew it existed.

“How could I not? You were brilliant! Did you have fun?” She nodded rapidly, Adam continuing to hold her even though he could have let her down. But she was only seven for a little longer, and he was relishing these moments.

The three had photos taken at each spot on the tour, Adam relishing seeing his daughter in her new Cubs shirt. She grinned widely, and when they exited into the gift shop he couldn’t resist picking up a baseball bat, glove, and a three back of balls for her. Kim just shrugged and pressed a kiss to his cheek as he paid, Makayla holding his hand and grinning.

“Can we try in the back yard next week if you’re not in work?”

“You bet we can.”

The final stop was to Portillos for hotdogs and cake shakes. The three squished in a booth that should have only sat two, Mack on his lap and staring across at Kim. He split his shake with Makayla, eating and laughing with the loves of his life as their day was nearly perfect. But the final thing to put a smile on his face was while they were leaving, his hand on the small of Kim’s back as he held Makayla’s hand and their waitress came up to them.

“Did you have a good day?” She asked Makayla, the seven year old chewing her lip and nodding.

“It’s Dad’s first Father’s Day, I wanted him to have fun.” She glanced up at Adam to see a wide grin on his face.

“I didn’t want anything else.”

Burzek Taglist: @aruzlover @haiileyshalstead @morganupstead @adamruz @fullwattpadmusictree @redpoodlern @everythingaddictxx @write4life13 @jeanjacketjesus @tuxieboy101-blog @thelittlepterophyllum @planecrazylex @sophiatellerrhodes @ossypooh @kimburgess-ruzek @thestarrynightslover @reidskitty13 @etamne @torreshalstead @itsnotpersonalbut @kellykidd @dedlund82 @pinkwhitebrown @mmacke3613 @upsteadlovingheart @ittybitty-tittycommittee @takemetooneverlanddd @oracle23 @thedefinitionofendgame @headlightsatmidnight @butterflylies @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @withakindheartx @bebataylor84 @whoiamwhoistrivetobe @multicouple-lover @keenmarvellover @daniellexoc3

#burzekaw22 #burzek #kim burgess #adam ruzek #kim burgess x adam ruzek #adam ruzek x kim burgess #kim x adam #adam x kim #makayla burgess #makayla ward burgess

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winchesterszvonecek · 8 months

Note

Kelly was such an ass with the way he handled that whole Scott Rice situation I mean he wouldn’t even listen to Otis and made it seem like he was a gossipy bitch or something even Boden to some extent took Severide’s side because of the way Kelly was portraying the the whole thing it was ridiculous and so infuriating to watch, In general though I’ve noticed that everyone is so quick to dismiss Otis and just assumes he’s talking sh*t except Cruz of course.

absolutely agree!

i mean, i will admit that Otis isn’t perfect and he has gone a little overboard sometimes but here he was completely justified! sure, he could have gone about it a little more delicately but still, Rice’s behaviour could have gotten someone killed… hell, it almost got Kelly killed when he fell through the floor just seconds after Rice bailed out of that fire, which in turn could have gotten those who went in to save Kelly killed as well

and don’t even get me started on the Chief…who instead of saying he’d look into things asked Otis if he needed to take a furlough???

if he was tired of being the low man on truck (which as much as i love Boden, i hated him for straight up telling Otis he was the lowest man on truck when he already doubted himself, especially as it was just after the whole thing with Chief Pridgen) as much as I love Boden, he definitely should have took Otis’s concerns way more seriously as what he was accusing Rice of was far more important than keeping Severide happy - which is what I think Boden was more interested in doing… idk, his whole behaviour there seemed way out of character in my opinion

as did Casey’s, and I get that he was going through his own problems with the club and that but he definitely should have listened to Otis instead of telling him to shut his mouth, which is literally what everyone but Cruz did as he was the only one who truly backed him up… I know Herrmann, Mouch and Gabby said they did but to me it didn’t seem like it

that part of the show has always annoyed me because after the truth came out no one even so much as offered Otis an apology… not one of them. it was literally never brought up again and to me that just seemed really shitty of them to do as they should know by now that Otis is basically always right in these situations… man really missed his calling as a detective

but yeah, completely agree! that whole thing really changed my views on Kelly and since then I’ve never really cared for him or his storylines

#chicago fire #brian otis zvonecek #chicagofire #brian zvonecek #otis #otis chicago fire #chicago fire opinions #winchesterszvonecek answers

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lucan-multiverse · 6 months

Text

[Luc/Blake - Scotland]

“But-“ Luc frowns and stares out over the rocky highland expanse. The wind still makes him shiver but it’s not as cold as the way Blake is making him feel right now. “I don’t understand. They’re your family. How can you not want to see them? You’ve been away for years, you’re about to be deployed again and we’re right here – how can you not want to at least go say hello?”

Blake gets that hard line to his lips that Luc has seen plenty of times before. He gets it when he’s royally pissed off and trying to swallow back whatever vicious remark brews somewhere in his chest. Luc’s well familiar with it, but he’s never been the target of it before.

His stomach churns unhappily. “Blake-“

“Leave it alone, Lucas,” Blake finally snaps, cutting him off with a tone that’s harsh and icy. It’s like a punch to the gut in a way. It snatches the air out of Luc’s lungs, stops his heart and leaves him cold all over.

He still hasn’t been able to find his voice when Blake abruptly spins on a booted heel and turns his back on the rugged landscape. Luc knows that on the other side of those craggy hills, Blake’s ancient family estate looms. It’s quickly become a dark shadow across the bright, idyllic little furlough to his new husband’s home country Luc had expected.

It didn’t make sense. They’d come all this way – quite literally crossing the stars - only to somehow baulk here at the gates. And the closer they came to the sprawling old stone walls that made up the main complex, as ancient as the standing stones this region was renowned for, the more excited Luc had become to finally meeting the family that raised the man he loved, the more Blake shut down.

At first, Luc had put it down to the lingering guilt that always came with returning home after so long. He felt it every time he stepped foot back on Terra Nova, into the farmhouse and into his grandmother’s arms. It didn’t matter how long or little he had been away, it always felt a little different every time. What was the old adage? You can never go back? He felt it every time, with the new lines on his abuela’s face, or the new baby on his sister’s hip. The dogs looked a little older, moved a little slower, the old swing on the wraparound porch creaked a little louder and his childhood bedroom seemed a little bit smaller.

Perhaps Blake was feeling the same thing. Perhaps it had been so long since he had been home, he was truly worried how it might have changed and simply preferred not to know.

“Blake, wait-“

Luc finally made his feet move, dragging himself away from the rocky outcrop and back to where the car was parked on the shoulder of the winding road. The pebbles crunched under his feet as he trailed past the little green sign declaring the spot as O’Rian Peak after his husband. Luc had teased Blake about the lookout named for his family – just one of the many places they’d passed up here in the highlands. Blake hadn’t exactly laughed, but he’d given Luc at least a ghost of a smile.

“I dun want to see them,” Blake had told him at the lookout when Luc had asked, yet again, when he was going to meet Blake’s family. “We willnae be going to the estate.”

Maybe Luc shouldn't have pushed.

“Where are we going now?” Luc demands, irritated to see the lights flash on the car as it rumbled to life. He yanks open the door and climbs inside. Blake is already drumming his fingers on the leather-clad steering wheel, staring hard faced out beyond the windscreen. Luc doesn’t mind being back in the warmth of the car and he immediately fiddles with the switches to get the car seat warming up but it still doesn’t do much to alleviate the chill inside him.

It’s been creeping up on him for days. The unease lurking at the edges of his mind, skittering around in the shadows. He’s been trying to ignore it, trying to hold onto the blissful fantasy that everything is just perfect and they were made for each other.

But it’s been getting louder, and despite the small confines of the car, Luc feels a chasm opening between him and his new husband as wide as the ocean.

Blake doesn't answer, jaw clenched too tighter to speak, but he waits for Luc to pull on his seatbelt before he puts the car into gear. Luc stalls. He looks at the side profile of the man he loves, the man he had handed over every, single, piece of his heart to- and wonders.

They had eloped in a town three counties over from the base just three months ago. It was a town just far enough away they could travel to it in one day in a hurriedly hired rental car and far enough away that they won’t run into anyone they know. The ceremony had been short and sweet, facilitated by a disapproving matron who had taken a long, hard look at Luc and demanded to see all his registered paperwork before she would proceed.

“She thought I was a child bride,” Luc howled later, the bottle of fizzing champagne he was nursing splashing as he fell backwards onto the pristine white sheets of the sumptuous hotel room Blake had surprised him with. It was honeymoon suite no less, which made sense, seeing as it had been their wedding night. “Did you see the way she was eyeballing me, LT?”

Blake had been warm then. Indulgent. Watching Luc with a kind of softness in his sky blue eyes Luc had never seen him turn on anyone else. It had been that look that made Luc’s heart flip over in his chest, like he could mean something to this man. Like he was wanted. Like Blake needed Luc as much as Luc needed him. Like maybe, they belonged together, slotting together like two pieces of a puzzle.

Luc loves him so much.

But Blake startles him with a low growl. “Yer gonnae put it on or just play with it, boy?”

Luc frowns, reaching up to yank on the seatbelt and pull it across from himself. He doesn’t like this. He feels like a chastised child. He’s younger than Blake, he knows that, but aside from their first few weeks discovering each other, Blake had never used their age difference against him. Not unless Luc wanted that way.

Eight years wasn’t all that long, but maybe in Blake’s eyes it was a lifetime.

“Is it me?” Luc finally forces the words out of his chest, unable to keep the creeping shadows at bay any longer. They rush forward now, crowding his mind with dark, insidious thoughts – telling him this was all a mistake, that Blake didn’t love him enough, maybe not at all – that Blake was ashamed of him – that Blake didn’t want his worlds to cross because somehow Luc was lacking.

Luc tried to think back – did Blake even invite him back for this furlough? Or did Luc just attach himself to Blake’s side like a particularly stubborn barnacle and came along with him? Was Luc the reason why Blake was avoiding them? They’d been keeping their marriage under wraps anyway but maybe Blake was just having second thoughts all around.

After all, they still hardly knew each other.

As quickly as the thought comes, Luc confidently discards it. The months since he had first shared a kiss with Blake had flayed him barer than any other time in his life. He did know Blake and Blake knew him – could that be the problem?

He stares hard at the side of Blake's head. “Am I the reason you don’t want to see your family?”

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gatutor · 7 months

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Cartel película "Vacaciones sin novia" (The perfect furlough) 1958, de Blake Edwards.

#Blake Edwards #Cartel película

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torreshalstead · 2 years

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Memories Bring Back You

One Chicago Appreciation Week 2022 (AO3 Link)

Prompt - Photographs

Summary - Stella has always said that memories didn’t have to be sad, you can use them to remember the good times. Kelly was trying to show their daughter that this was true.

Warnings - Major Character Death

A rustling from the living room is what wakes Kelly up, he hears a thud as he rolls over and checks his phone for the time. It’s just gone 5, if he was working today he wouldn’t have to be in for a couple of hours but he had taken the day as furlough. Kelly sits up and stretches, listening carefully, it seems to be quiet now but he knows it won’t be for long. His door is pushed open slowly and he sees his 5-year-old daughter stood there in her red star pyjamas, hair in two braids, messy from a night sleeping in them.

‘Morning Lizzie’ he said with a sleepy smile. ‘What you got there?’ he asked, gesturing to what was in her hand.

‘It’s Mommy’s album’ she answered. ‘Can we look through the photos, you said it’s a special day’.

Kelly patted the other side of the bed, ‘I did say that, climb up then Monkey and we can look at Mommy’s album’. Lizzie climbed into the bed beside her dad, he pulled her close and put the album on his lap.

‘Can you remember why I said it was a special day Lizzie?’ He ran his hands over her braids and knew he’d need to redo them before they headed out for the day.

‘It’s Mommy’s birthday so we are going to go visit her’, the little girl looked up at him with an expression that Kelly couldn’t quite read. ‘And you said she loves me so much’.

‘Aren’t you a smart girl Lizzie’. She had Stella’s eyes Kelly thought as she looked up at him, god he missed her so much.

‘Let’s start at the beginning then’, he said as he flipped open the photo album and looked down at the first picture.

It was of him and Shay and he knew that Stella had dug it out of a box of his stuff years ago and put it in the album. She always said that memories didn’t have to be sad, you can remember the good times which was what he was trying to teach their daughter.

‘This was my best friend Leslie Shay’.

‘I thought Uncle Matt was your best friend’ Lizzie questioned, Kelly smiled.

‘Uncle Matt is my brother but Shay was my best friend’, that answer seemed to be enough for the young girl. ‘And what’s special about Shay?’.

‘She has my name’, Lizzie said pointing at herself. ‘And it’s written on side of the ambo at the firehouse’. Kelly chuckled, Lizzie always called it an ambo as she struggled with saying the full word, Kelly thought it was adorable, ‘see I knew you were a smarty, that’s right. Her full name was Leslie Elizabeth Shay and it’s written on the door of the ambulance at 51’.

‘Did you pick my name then Daddy if she was your best friend’, Lizzie continued to stare up at him.

‘No, your Mommy picked your name, she knew how special Shay was to me and I thought Lizzie was perfect for my little Monkey’. Lizzie cuddled further into her father’s side as he turned the page.

The next picture was from Mouch and Trudy’s wedding, someone had taken it when Stella had been telling the story of Kelly breaking into her house. He was staring at her with slightly glassy eyes and her smile was shining so bright.

Lizzie peered at the picture, ‘Mommy looks so young’.

‘She was here, this was 6 years before we got married. This was at Mouch and Trudy’s wedding’.

‘I love Mouch’ his daughter said, ‘He lets me sit in his spot because I’m special’. Kelly chuckled and tickled her side to make her giggle, it was one of his favourite sounds. ‘You are special’ he said as he leaned down to drop a kiss to her head.

‘So Mommy was your girlfriend here’. Lizzie was tracing her finger across her mother’s face, and Kelly couldn’t blame her, she looked beautiful.

‘Not yet, I had only just met Mommy again after not seeing her for a few years. We were friends here’.

‘So, you didn’t love her yet?’, that question made Kelly stop and think. Had he loved Stella at this point, the romantic inside him said of course he did, but he also knew that what he felt for her now was so much more than he had felt at that point.

‘Not yet, but I really liked her and she was already someone special to me’.

‘Like me’ Lizzie said proudly ‘I’m special to you’ and she turned the page.

A photo of him and Stella at Molly’s stared back at him from the next page. He can’t remember who took it but it was probably Sylvie, she was always saying people didn’t take enough pictures. They were smiling at the camera, from either side of the bar but their hands were holding on to each other resting on the counter.

‘Do you recognise where this photo was taken’, Kelly asked his daughter. Lizzie thought for a minute and then said ‘Molly’s’ with a cheer. It might be odd for any other 5-year-old to recognise a bar from a photo but to the 51 crew, Molly’s was much more than a bar and Lizzie had visited many times. Hermann even started keeping juice boxes in the fridge for her.

‘That’s right. Mommy used to work there when she didn’t work as a firefighter and I would go and visit her’.

‘So she was your girlfriend here, you’re holding hands’. Kelly smiled.

‘Yep, she was my girlfriend now, so that’s why I visited her’.

‘Because you missed her when she wasn’t around’. Kelly heard the sadness start to creep in to his daughter’s voice.

‘Because I loved spending time with her so I would annoy her at the bar’, Lizzie giggled and poked her dad’s arm that was wrapped around her.

‘Because boys are annoying’ she said confidentially and he had to laugh. He knew that sentiment wouldn’t always be the way she thought so he would treasure it whilst he could.

‘Boys are annoying’, he agrees and turned the page.

The next photo was also taken at Molly’s bar and it was of him, Casey, Brett, Violet and Stella. He remembered Stella handing her phone over to Ritter to get the photo. It was just moments after Boden announced she had passed her Lieutenants exam and Kelly could feel his pride swell in his chest, even after all this time.

‘This is when Mommy found out she was going to be a Lieutenant. She worked really really hard and took a big test and passed. I was so proud of her that night’. Lizzie bounced up and down and Kelly knew his daughter was just as proud of her mother as he was.

‘So this is when she became the boss?’.

‘Not just yet, she had to wait for Uncle Matt to leave and then she got his job’.

‘And she was the best boss ever’ his daughter said proudly.

‘Yes, she was’, Kelly said quietly, more to himself than to Lizzie.

Kelly smiled as he looked down at the next photo, it had always been one of his favourites. Him and Stella in their dress uniforms at Mouch’s medal ceremony.

‘You look so pretty in your uniform Daddy’, Lizzie said matter of factly. Kelly laughed.

‘Thank you Monkey, but I think Mommy looks the prettiest’.

‘Daddy’. She said firmly, in a tone that reminded him so much of Stella. ‘Lots of people can be pretty at the same time’. He knew that was something he had told her when she came home from kindergarten one day saying that one of the boys had said her friend Cassidy was prettier than her. It had broken his heart to see his beautiful daughter so upset. Stella had always been better at dealing with things like this but he had tried his best.

‘That’s right’ he said as his chest warmed with pride, ‘both Mommy and I look pretty’.

Lizzie turned to the next page and ran her finger over the picture. It was a cheesy selfie that Stella had taken just after he had given her the engagement ring at the CFD gala. They were both decked out in their black-tie outfits and his jacket was across her shoulders as he remembered the terrace had been cold. She was holding up her hand so the ring faced the camera and she was beaming. Kelly was kissing her cheek but he could see he was smiling as well.

‘This was just after I had given Mommy that ring and we were both very happy’, he said softly. He could see his daughters’ eyes were focused on the ring. It wasn’t the first time she had seen the ring as he had shown it to her before and promised that it would be hers on her 16th birthday. He knew Stella would want Lizzie to have it so he was keeping it safe for her.

‘But this isn’t when you asked her to marry you?’ she said inquisitively, ‘Because you did that inside a fire’.

‘That’s right’, he said with a small chuckle. ‘I couldn’t wait any longer to ask her to marry me so I did it in the middle of a fire. But a girl as pretty as your Mommy deserves a pretty ring to match so I got her one afterwards’.

‘And one day I get to wear it too’. Kelly kissed the top of her head again and nodded. ‘and one day you’ll get to wear it too’ he echoed. Talking about Stella like this used to be hard and he avoided it at all costs but Boden reminded him that his daughter would need to learn all about her mother from him so Kelly always made a point of trying to tell Lizzie as much as he could about her.

Their wedding photo came next.

‘And this is the day your Mommy and I finally got married’. Kelly couldn’t help himself from smiling at the picture. He had waited for longer than he cared to admit to tie his life to Stella’s and when that day came, although it didn’t go to plan. It was perfect.

‘On a boat’ Lizzie said.

‘On a boat that Uncle Matt found for us. And we promised to love each other forever in front of all our friends’.

Lizzie smiled at the picture. ‘Mommy looks like a princess’ and she was right. Stella had looked more beautiful than Kelly ever thought possible on their wedding day. And he knew he was a lucky man.

The next photo is a selfie of the two of them, both clearly having been crying holding up a pregnancy test with a faint plus symbol on it.

‘This is the day Mommy and I found out we were pregnant with you’.

‘Why are there tears on your face?’ Lizzie said.

‘Well, sometimes when someone is very very happy they cry, crying isn’t just for when you’re said’ Kelly said. He could tell Lizzie was thinking about this before she simply nodded as if giving him permission to keep telling the story.

‘Mommy and I had talked for a while that we wanted to have a baby but as we were both firefighters it might be quite tricky. Because what would we do with a baby when we were fighting fires.’

‘You could have left me on the truck’ Lizzie pipped up. Kelly smiled.

‘We could have but we decided that once you were born and Mommy went back to work on the fire truck. I would go work in the Arson office so I could look after you when Mommy had to sleep at the firehouse’. Kelly and Stella had talked at length about how it would work if they were both on shift. He knew she hadn’t finished her career yet and as much as she wanted a child, she didn’t want to give up her role on 81. So, he suggested he moved over to Arson, they had been trying for years to persuade him to take the role and if he did that, she could stay on truck. They both agreed that would be the best solution and once that was decided they began trying. It didn’t take long before they were finally looking at a positive test.

‘Arson is the bad people who make the fires’ Lizzie said.

‘That’s right and me working in an office instead of at the firehouse meant I could look after you’ her father said.

‘We were so very excited to find out that Mommy was pregnant and so excited to meet you’. He squeezed her side. ‘You were special before we even met you’. She looked up at him with those big brown eyes and smiled.

As he wanted to be out of the house soon, Kelly skipped over the next couple of photos which were of them telling the firehouse they were expecting and the baby shower that Sylvie and Violet had thrown them at her and Casey’s new house and stopped on the first picture they had of their new-born daughter.

‘Is that me?’, Lizzie asked staring at the tiny baby in Stella’s arms.

‘It is, this is just a few minutes after you were born’. Kelly glanced at the little girl sat next to him and then to the baby in the photo. It’s hard to believe she was ever that small.

‘But I’m so tiny, and funny looking!’ Lizzie said with a tone of disgust. Kelly couldn’t help but laugh.

‘You were the most beautiful baby your Mom and me had ever seen.’

‘So you were happy?’, she asked looking up at her dad.

‘Monkey, that was the happiest day of our lives. You completed our family and brought us so much joy’. He squeezed her again and moved on to the second to last photo.

This was of Stella and Kelly, with a very small baby Lizzie in their arms, stood in front of Firehouse 51. They knew their firehouse family would love their daughter as much as they did so as soon as they could, they brought her along to the house. Kelly remembers the day as though it was yesterday, he tried not to hover but he wouldn’t let his baby daughter out of his sight. Stella had laughed at him as she held his arm and told him- ‘it’s okay Babe, they are family.’ He knew she was right, he smiled to himself in the present, she usually was.

‘And this is the first time you went to 51 and everyone was so excited to see you’, he said.

Lizzie excitedly said ‘And I got to sit in the truck when I was only two weeks old’. It was one of her favourite stories about her parents and she told it to anyone she could.

‘That’s right Monkey, and when the bells went off you didn’t even cry. It’s like you were meant to be a firefighter’s kid’.

The final picture was the hardest one for Kelly to look at. It was the last photo he had of Stella.

On Lizzie’s 4th birthday, she had been on shift so Kelly had brought Lizzie along to visit her mom at the fire station. The house had gotten her a cake, all had on party hats and Lizzie had a blast. The whole house had got together for a photo in front of the rigs and Lizzie had Stella’s hat balanced on her head as she sat on Kelly shoulder’s, his arm tight around his wife.

Shortly after the picture had been taken the bells had gone off so he had kissed his wife quickly and moved out of the way so they could head out. He told her ‘you got this Stella Kidd’ and Lizzie echoed the statement with a ‘you got this Mommy’ of her own as Stella had kissed the top of her head after removing the helmet.

They had been called to a fire in a storage unit facility, one of the hardest places to fight a fire as even once you found it, it could spread to other units. Stella had led her team in with confidence as normal with Boden outside giving commands. To this day, Kelly is not quite sure what lead to the death of his wife in that fire. And he’s not sure he ever needs to know. All he knows is that she had sacrificed herself to ensure the rest of the team made it out safely and she had ended up locked in the unit with the fire. No one else was hurt that day, thanks to the bravery of his wife. She had received a Medal of Valour for it which was on display in Firehouse 51 next to her photograph. Kelly knew she would have done everything she could to both save her men and get back to him and their daughter. The rest of that day is a blur to Kelly, he knows that Boden was the one who called him to tell him the news. And he knows he was sat at the Squad table laughing at Lizzie in his old chair when the call came in. But as for everything else, he’s not sure.

He’s brought back to the present when Lizzie says ‘look Daddy, it’s our family, all together’.

Kelly smiled as he blinked back the tears, ‘all together’ he repeated.

‘Right Monkey’, he said ‘time to get up and dressed’. He closed the photo album and placed it on his bedside table as Lizzie clambered out of bed.

‘I’m going to wear my new dress to show Mommy’, she declares as she ran towards her bedroom.

Kelly sat on the bed for a second, absent mindedly playing with his wedding ring. He knew someday going through the photographs would not be enough for Lizzie and she would want to know more about her mother but for now, he hoped he was doing a good enough job. They would head down today to the firehouse and lay the flowers at the base of the memorial which had been placed next to Otis’s. He knew Stella never wanted a grave, she had found them too melancholy but it seemed only right that she was remembered in death in the place that gave her so much life. After that, he would take Lizzie out to the Harlo diner to get milkshakes.

As he glanced down at his wedding ring one final time, he whispered ‘Lizzie would make you so proud. And don’t worry, I’ve got her, Stella Kidd’.

#onechicagoweek #one chicago #stellaride #kelly severide #stella kidd #fic #Kelly x Stella #chicago fire #fanfic #Stellaride fic #Chicago fire fic

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