#The Crooked Man & Others

[anabetel35]

If you like Kuwei, whatever you do, just don’t think about how he probably grew up isolated from his peers because of his father’s status. How he probably took to reading because no one around him could spare a single second for him. How, when he and his father had to flee the country and were captured by the Fjerdans, he probably realized that what happened to him was a perfect backstory for a main character of some epic story. How, when he had to watch his father try to create a drug that could enslave and kill nearly all Grisha in the world, people just like the two of them, his biggest comfort came from the silly belief that at the end of his story, he too would have everything that he wanted — a family, a lover, a friend, just anyone who would finally care about him. Recognition. Joy. Love.

How, when his father died and he was left alone, a small, delusional, cruel part of him was almost sure that it was necessary for him to then be loved. How, when the Crows came for him, deep down, he fully expected them to be his new family. How, even when everyone was cold to him on the ship, he still tired to convince himself that it was because one of theirs was on the brink of death. How he dumbly tried to tell himself that they won’t actually turn him over to the merchant that wants him because they’re reasonable people. How he spent his days and nights in a cold tomb, pushing down the memories of his now dead father and his grim future, all alone, curled up in a corner.

How he had developed a crush on Jesper, bright, kind, warm Jesper, as if he could do anything else, and then had to watch helplessly as that ray of sunshine ignored him, as he got closer to the boy that had his face. How his skills and efforts were ignored just because what he might know seemed far more important to the people around him. How, not more than two days before the auction where his death would be faked, he got kissed by the man he began to adore and then was disliked for it by the only member of the team that actually tried to befriend him for a while.

How he had to stand tall in front of all the people, all those merchants, the royalty, the warriors, the guards, the farmers, the children, everyone, all the people who came to the Church of barter just to see who he’d be sold to. How he had to trust the six teens who only had qualms about killing him because he was worth a whole lot of money, with his life as different governments called out numbers that could feed the whole world for an entire lifetime. How the last thing that he could’ve seen before he died if the bullet that hit his chest missed his button even by a single hair, was the chaos ‘Brekker and his Crows’ started.

How, when he woke up, he barely had any time to calm down because one of the teens, the Drüskelle, was dead. How he now had to mourn him now, too, along with all that he lost. How, when he was laying down on the ship to pretend he’s dead, he realized that the people he saw as his saviors less than two months ago, and as the thing that he wanted more than life, didn’t care for him at all anymore. That they might even be happier if he died. How, as he neared the sea, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d let his one chance at happiness higher along the canal and that he was now destined for a life of despair.

How, when he arrived to the Little Palace, he wasn’t met with kindness or friendly faces. How he had to hide the fact that the thing he worked on day and night was the cure to a drug that his father had created, a drug that could’ve destroyed Grisha all around the world. How he was their only hope in the war against Fjerda. How he spent his nights awake dreaming of being a part of the family that the Crows clearly were. How he couldn’t seem to fit in anywhere he went.

Most importantly of all, don’t think about the fact that he’d been alone all his life.

#since no one else seems to be rambling about him I had to do it myself #but seriously why do we as the entirety of TWO fandoms sleep on this man so fucking much??? #he’s an amazing character we just didn’t get to see him a whole lot #but Zoya’s description of him (as snobbish as he is talented) should be enough to make us go feral about him #like yes he’s a little shit but 1) we love him for it and 2) so is Kaz and we love him too #and there is so much possible angst we can put him through??? #and the relationships he’s have with the other characters??? we’re robbing ourselves of the duo that would be Zoya and Kuwei #or Wylan and Kuwei or Nina and Kuwei or Inej and Kuwei or Tamar and Kuwei or— #also he’s one of the most lonely characters in the damn Grishaverse and yet we haven’t done anything with that #(I’m here if anyone else wants to scream about this fifteen years old traumatized inferno (possibly) orphan) #kuwei yul bo #kuwei my beloved #six of crows #grishaverse #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #jesper fahey #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #wesper #soc #ck #rule of wolves #king of scars #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #inferni #the grisha trilogy #grisha

[artphi]

Pedestal by URI is free play it if you love mystery and toxic yuri

#pedestal #pedestal uri #pedestal game #Aoi ooe #Akari Abe #pedestal 2021 #wolf rpg editor #rpg maker #rpg maker horror #Aoi x Akari #I am begging more ppl to play this game how did I find it by accident this would have been huge in like 2016 #it has multiple endings and it changed my brain chemistry permanently please please please #it’s me and 3 other ppl in this fandom #uri is my fav game dev this is their best yet imo #also replayed mermaid swamp and crooked man 100% recommend those too #it’s literally free and 3 hours long play it #if it runs on my shitty little laptop from 2017 it will probably run on urs too #yuri

[s1ithers]

my witch wife, i love you i missed you

#the urge to drop everything & go back to amell x morrigan playthrough #they get each other they just Get each other man i'm. 😭 #the bitterness of isolation but the tender secret openness to wonder #the disconnect from people but the longing for the world #drinking up experience to make up for lost years #two people who are so young but don't feel it taking their first brave halting steps into the world outside their cages #just as that world is on the verge of ending #we're too late #but we've gotta stop it #by hook or by crook we gotta stop the world ending so that when it's all over #we can step in the ocean #da #morrigan #warden x morrigan

[darkparablesthorst]

I haven’t painted in a year and 3 months, and I finally returned to the medium to try and paint the love of my life, the flame of my loins, blaise morellus iii

i have suffered for a measly 4 hours greasing these art muscles back to life, and i’ll do a bunch more til the brainrot is satisfied

#cursery #blaise morellus iii #crooked man and the crooked cat #will i repeat the coloring on the other pic? hell yeah #i'M DOING IT FOR LOOOOVE #art #omg we're both artists is this fate #JKASHLASDFAD

[stairset]

One of my toxic traits as a superhero fan is when adaptations make the villain connected to the hero’s origin I sometimes like it and sometimes don’t and either way I usually have no specific reasoning for my opinion other than Vibes.

#in most cases i actually do like it #the spider that bit peter parker being altered by oscorp a la ultimate comics? cool. #brainiac playing a role in krypton's destruction a la dcau and injustice? cool. #mandarin being directly or indirectly responsible for iron man's origin a la the 90s cartoon and mcu? cool. #magneto being responsible for professor x getting paralyzed a la first class? actually better than how it happened in the comics #doctor doom being involved in the fantastic four's origin? eeeh depends #i don't like the ultimate version or either of the movie versions where he also gets powers in the same incident #and also his skin is actually metal instead of wearing armor #that shit's lame #but i DO like the world's greatest heroes cartoon where he sabotages their mission by lowering their shields #and THAT'S what leads to them getting powers and also causes the explosion that scars him #way i see it if he HAS to be part of their origin the way that show did it was best #the only major example or the villain creating the hero where i NEVER like it is when joker is responsible for the wayne deaths #be it directly like in the tim burton movie or indirectly like that joker movie that didn't need to exist #like joker being responsible for batman's parents dying is just way too coincidental #some of those other examples are also kinda coincidental but they at least feel like natural connections to make #whereas joker creating batman is just forced #oh and sandman killing uncle ben in the raimi movies and black cat's dad killing him in spectacular for the same reason #the murders of the waynes and uncle ben both just work better when the killer is just some random crook whose identity isn't important #but yeah the rest of those examples are all perfectly fine with me lmao #shut up tristan

[jazzkrebber]

do you ever just pass away

#i think about them constantly #the way they look at each other #i simply die #man i love them #shadow and bone #six of crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone season 2 #crooked kingdom #ruin and rising #siege and storm #wylan hendriks #jesper fahey #jack wolfe #kit young #wylan van eck

[ofwoodsandwaves]

A klayley fic if you can! I for some reason always had this Headcanon where Hayley, after plenty of hesitation visits Klaus (in season 5) he would be absolutely happy to see her but also ashamed to his very core as she sees him succumb to who he used to be and they end up having a steamy night after one hell of an argument

it's been a million years since I got an ask, or wrote anything so I figured, why not. Let's see how rusty I am (and how little I remember of the show since I refused to watch past Hayley's death)

______

"I was promised a home despite the hardships and the blood feuds and..." She started tapping on her fingers as she listed crises. "Angry grandparents, angry witch ancestors, werewolf curses, Bayou bullshit. Did I forget anything?"

Step. "Yes." He wiped blood off his chin with urgency, as if he could not bear to look so... murderous in front of her. "You forgot the ever yapping Little Wolf Queen, Savior of the weak and the pitiful."

Yellow eyes flashed, his words lacking any of their spiteful bite as he looked her up and down, his jaw clenched, always waiting for the mandatory betrayal or disappointment that came with his life.

Step.

Hayley had known him too long, too deeply to not feel him scanning the camp, each body crumbled and drained before her interruption.

"This ain't no trick Klaus, just me. No puppeteer, no curse, no mind control. Just the mother of your daughter. I can sing Toxic if you don't believe me." Her playful smile showed her dimple, the smile she'd always seem to show Elijah before.

Step. Step.

She looked healthy, he assessed. Longer hair than he'd ever seen her wear, he'd heard her grunt in the bathroom before, grunting at the knots that she ended up with after a full moon run. "I'd rather not, actually. My ears have not quite recovered from the torturous wails of a dying sealion."

The weakened campfire lit her in dusk and sorrow, flickering oranges that left her skin grey when they withdrew.

Step.

"Are you really?"

She took a step from the tree she'd been leaning against, slick smooth movements contrasting with her clenched fists.

"Yes. I am. Of course, I would remind your inflated ego, before it grows to swallow all of New Orleans, that you were not my first visit. Never expected to find my teen daughter playing Harry Potter, or to borrow clothes from a Headmaster I tried to kill once upon a time." She pulled a too long strand of hair behind her ear and over her shoulder until it settled down to her lower back. She definitely looked the wolf part.

Step.

She is so close now, he could reach out and touch her skin, caress her cheek as he has done a hundred times over, during the good and the bad, in trust, and distrust, in love and in adoration.

"I missed you... Little Wolf." The words come out almost choked, tenderness' never come easy to him, even with those he loved. And her, oh he loved her more than even he knew as he realized for the first time in years, he could finally hear himself again, finally think beyond the permanent haze of rage and hatred that demanded he paint the world red. A permanent ringing in his ears so loud he could barely stand to see his own daughter for fear of what it could do to her. For fear of what she would see in his eyes.

Step. Step.

"Niklaus. I'm back. I don't understand how, but I'm back. So you can stop now. Take a break. Have breakfast with our daughter and shop for paint with her." She is so close now, and his hand itches to paint the golden flecks in her forest eyes, sunrays percing the canopy.

"You promised me a home, to me and to Hope. So come on." Her clean hand reaches out for his left hand, making him drop the ripped limb he had been clinging to this whole time and pulls his bloody hand to her cheek.

"We can finally give our daughter the life we dreamed of. Come home, Klaus."

Two decades flash before his eyes, of promises, of alliances, of laughter and shouts, of breakfast and dinners and bars, of blood and woods. He's never enjoyed breaking his promises. Not to her. So why stay in the shadows, bloodying them under the pretenses that it would keep Hope safe, when he could not even be by her side to ward off potential suitors.

Hayley sees something in his eyes, the reflection of a choice he does not even know he has made yet, and she beams as she teases him, "She told me Prom is soon, and you know what that means, right?"

"Well. I can't let you vet her suitors by yourself, as we both know you are too easily swayed to pity the wretched." His head tilts in a slow judgemental gaze contrasted by his blood-covered hand, captured by Hayley, caresses her cheek and taps her nose gently.

"Lead the way, my Queen."

#Sorry #I didn't get to the smut but I just... wanted a reunion #they deserved so much better... SHE deserved so much better and I miss their banter and the crooked smiles they would give to each other #Man I can't write anymore though #klayley #mine

[fintensifies]

let me know if I should make changes

#inej ghafa #kaz brekker #man will DIE before talking about himself with anyone other than Inej #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #nina zenik #six of crows duology #six of crows #crooked kingdom #socck #fin.post

[boy-armageddon]

YES my username on yt is a blood bros reference :33 i need to go to crimes world again i know in my heart and soul that i love her but i seldom show her attention .. i need to care her more ..

HOOFRAY!!!! also pretty please do!!!!!!! for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#such a good album it is Insane that like. you never really see it talked about outside of certain spaces #and even then it was originally derided for being much less heavy than its predecessors #such a smart album lyrically and even in just like certain songs like peacock skeleton with crooked feathers #which btw is my go-to song to introduce people 2 them #for obvious reasons. the way the vocals play off each other #the keyboard #aforementioned lyrics because man they’re good at writing political lyrics that are simultaneously very pointed and relevant to this day #and also just plain fun. the way they word stuff rolls off the tongue very well #which I suppose is very much in part to Whitney being a very literary guy from what I’ve read up about him #SPEAKING OF!!!!! Jesus Christ the vocals. the vocals #(positive) #very very powerful for a guy who was like…. 21-22 at the time of recording I’d reckon? #I know whitney’s vocals are a turn off for the band for most people but imo? it’s one of the main appeals. 2 me he is like an insanely good #vocalist. almost jealous that he can hit those notes as a cis guy and I can’t cause omfg in like. wolf party near the end #HOW DOES A GUY MANAGE THAT….. #I love how they incorporated elements of other genres in it. like I don’t see them as indie rock like people #for whatever reason #like to describe them as in that album #but you can hear the elements. bringing up wolf party again cause nick zinner did some of the guitar in that and he’s in an indie band no? #yeah yeah yeahs or whatevs. they’re cool seeming I should check ‘em out #ALSO sorry I kind of glossed over Blilie. he’s really fucking good in the album obvs!!!! #pretty sure he did the album art which. omfg it’s had an aesthetic chokehold on me as of late #and also just. he has a nice voice #the sort of warbley thing he has and also his screams… goated #contrary to my posting #I’m actually a bliliegirl I’d consider myself lol. Whitney happens to also have a psychic chokehold on me #this is obvious. I go by Johnny and want to go blonde HMMMMM I WONDER WHY.. #my bad for rambling in tags I just. I love that album so deeply #it’s very meaningful to my identity and songs like the title track and beautiful horses just. get me right at my core #evil neighing compilation

[tariah23]

At least they’re getting along tho 🥺

#from the other day… #I was binging super crooks too and they kept on growling at each other #now #Prince is really chill and Speakerbox is the one who’s kind of an asshole #always ready to attack and hiss at Prince even tho all she tries to do is sniff speaker #they’ve been playing with each other tho so I’m happy about that #rambling #excuse the mess id just cleaned up the day before and the room looks worse than this now #like wtf #my sister is messy as hell man

[chesthighwater]

nothing on this earth makes my brain go "put that man into a fucking. SITUATION" more than cunning self-serving intelligent characters who would sell out everyone and their mother for a chance at survival and generally have a tendency to fly too close to the sun. put that man in a SITUATION HE CANNOT ESCAPE. PREFERABLY OF HIS OWN UNFORTUNATE MAKING. MAKE THAT MAN EXPERIENCE THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS OWN ACTIONS

#now see this could be about martin but also #watched a movie the other day. can you guess what character i immediately took a liking to #if you guessed the crooked criminal self interested mathematical prodigy who would sooner see the people closest to him lose limbs than #have himself come in harm's way. who ends up in the situation he is in pretty much due to his own arrogance. #then you guessed correctly. #(packs up another morally grey cunning egotistical blorbo in my suitcase) #(drives away) #(forces that man to learn how to Love. forces him to learn how to Lose) #j #this by the way is very much how i felt about garrett in many situations. he does not fit all of this but like #ill go dig out my thiefposting. if i can find it.

[1980ssunflower]

nuzzles my face against my baby ryan 🥺💖

#f/o:💖what a fool believes🎸 #tape entry circa 1980 #SILLAY MODE ENGAGED #FACE OF A MAN WHO HAS JUST PISSED OFF MIN HFDJS #OOOO my baby ;w; #i miss him so so fucking much i like. literally had a breakdown abt how much i missed him a couple days ago ghdfjk #full on sobbing abt how much i love and miss him and need him here holding me #i really want to be vulnerable w him and wrap my arms around him as bury my face in the crook of his neck #oh god id do anything to hear him... i want to hear his beautiful wonderful angelic voice... IM TEARING UP AGAIN #everything about him... its so wonderful... him and my min-gi own my entire heart #id do anything for them... i love them... #thinking of ryans voice makes me tear up from how much i love and miss him... #i want to hear him tell me how talented i am and he knows ill be able to do all the things id like and be something great #that he knows im destined to be a rockstar and we all will get to be rockstars together :'-] #i want him to play w my hair while he talks to me and runs his other hand over my body caressing me #id like to hear him sing to meee #maybe we'll put on a record or just listen to a tape and sing the songs together #id also like for us to play some guitar together :-] #ive been making progressing again on this song last night that i had to put off w stuff + surgery #and i feel like ryan would be proud of me :'-] #but just auh my heart is so full i just love my baby more than there are stars in the sky type of thing #i want to take in his scent and be comforted by it and his presence and how im being held against him #holding his pretty face in my hands and looking into his beautiful dark brown eyes #smoothing out his hair and tucking any loose strands behind his ear #kiss his pretty hands... just all over just hold it to my face as i keep planting little kisses all over #on his finger tips where his callouses from playing guitar are eheh #anyways aouh ( blasts thunder road by bruce springsteen while thinking of ryan and me )

[nexus-nebulae]

i always used to watch yt videos of games i wanted to play bc i knew i didn't have the money then and didn't have anything to play games on but now that i have a good computer and some more financial independence. i could start playing all the games that my amnesia has erased

#i could play Amnesia! lmao #its almost like playing the game blind again #i've just been watching a lot of videos about games i'd forgotten about from when i was like 12 #like all those old horror games that jacksepticeye would play #somehow i Still remember the exact video that made me start getting into youtube #jack's curse of blackwater videos #specifically the first one #because at the time my only experience with youtube was watching nothing but various cat compilation videos #but then i watched this creepy game video #and the little ghost girl scared me so bad i stopped watching and was like NOT WATCHING ANY MORE OF THAT #but then i couldnt stop thinking about it for three days so eventually i watched The Last Four Minutes #and then the rest of the game stopped doing ghosts and moved to like. aliens. or at least a physical monster #and it just stopped scaring me #it went from scary dark unfamiliar asylum with a probable ghost and body parts everywhere #to cold unfeeling steel facility #i just Stopped being scared after that physical monsters scare me much less #ghosts. now that's a threat you can't track #that one doesn't make noise to let you know it's coming #anyway i wanna play imscared i remember being obsessed with that one when i was watching those videos #i wanna remember the other like. random horror games i got obsessed with #ib and mad father and the crooked man i remember liking #recently i found out that the crooked man has like. a whole series????? #each story is about a different protagonist and monster but the characters from previous games show up as side characters

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

People are posting on the Six of Crows tag just to get mad at people for saying they don't like the show??? Oof. Please grow up. People are allowed to have opinions on adaptations???

#six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #anti shadow and bone #i haven't seen s2 yet but s1 had enough problems #and now i'm hearing inej is violently beaten up #they do crooked kingdom plot points with no build up #wesper had a one night stand??? and they had the bi character not remember it #(idk that last one feels like it's perpetuating the whole bi people are slutty stereotype) #and idk in general I loved the wesper slow burn and them irritating each other and just... UGH #and the kanej stuff also the subtle development #Look man I loved this series so much and I'm allowed to be pissed off that they did a shite job adapting it #i didn't want a fanfic version of the books I wanted an adaptation?????

[thegrandmarsh]

being horny for specific actors has expanded my film repertoire more than anything else has

#now having recently watched both the lobster and swiss army man you might think oh is it someone from one of those #and the answer is no. its dean lennox kelly. right now anyway #previously its been jason mantzoukas and jake johnson #you may be noticing a theme of dark haired bearded guys w crooked noses #there have also been many others #but those are some recent ones

[crossbackpoke-check]

this is weird, but I know you've talked about the ear piercing thing, so just fyi I think in bordy's new ig stories you can see both his ears?

homie. bestie. bruh. beloved. please insert your preferred endearment here anon this is not weird you are a) always welcome to send me asks about anything and b) 🥺🥺 i love when y’all enable me and send me asks about things which i will probably go screech into a hole about, such as this:

per thom’s insta story 6.23.22, i zoomed in an unreasonable amount of both of his ears and now feel like this :/

[a brief aside: my GOD does he have a crooked smile i’m obsessed with it and also the family resemblance is real]

anyway after much consideration and absolutely Losing it may i present this, which may or may not be but i am choosing to believe is, thomas bordeleau’s pierced left ear (earrings not included)

#thank u for coming to my ted talk or possibly my villain monologue before i am ko’d (thom wears earrings again) #t h o m r i n g ? r i n g ? which hand is the marriage hand someone help me where’s liv when i need her (on twitter) #in other instagram related breakdowns briss made a post and tagged thom as merida and i HATE IT HERE WE ARE THE SAME STOP THAT #my family… actually… jokingly calls me merida when my hair is frizzy… wish i was kidding! i hate it here thom LEAVE ME ALONE #@ thom stop hiding your infected ear piercings with airpods 😠 i Want To See #the white woman math blinking unhinged red string meme of it all #me who cannot tell right from left like: ok but if i reference the thom lightning bolt racing stripe photo he always shows us his right side #because his right profile is better which. king. know your angles BUT if we look at the umich ear piercing photos i am 99% sure the piercing #is in his left ear & most of the photos i’ve seen since then have been side profile based off of camera flip geometry & his right ear #definitely is not pierced but the shape/shadow of his left looks like the indent of a piercing which tracks so either he took it out because #it got infected or he wants it to close up or he just like me fr and frequently just. forgets to wear earrings which tHoM i’m gonna yell @u #about piercing aftercare if that’s true has it been enough weeks for you to have taken it out when you did? or maybe he has a nickel allergy #calling in the experts if u know the answer pls tell me or if your zoom in provides better clarity than my terrible screenshots #IS borde’s ear pierced my vote is yet but also y’all know i’m biased because. #@ thomas bordeleau pierce your ears #i think he should pierce both of them and get constellation piercings and he IS a man that loves jewelry @ thom it’s more to wear 👀👀 #thom’s crooked smileeeeee laying on the floor rolling around giggling i am smitten i’m putting that detail in all the fics ever #also that shirt sure was a choice bud. but i’m not complaining since it gave me #nemcklance #thomas bordeleau my worstie my hatred spirit my incorrigible terrible meow meow #i am not adopting another umich boy this is not gonna be a comtois situation i am not going to be sucked in by thomas bordeleau #have been terribly endeared by his father’s day post and being home for his sister’s prom which im assuming is mad late in the yr bc canada? #keep thinking he needs an eyebrow barbell but also insisting to myself that i didn’t paperdoll him into 1 (i did actually lmao) so on record #left ear: (current lobe) paperdolling bords into a helix or auricle (snug?) cuff and a rook if he gets the helix he can have a conch #on his right ear he needs a daith and four lobe piercings with a forward helix alternately and/or a scaffold if it’s not too crowded #also the way the shadow falls in the second one kinda looks like a snake bite… bordy do that one too & match it with a left eyebrow barbell #although with his crooked mouth now idk like is it gonna wreck the effect or just draw more attention to it? maybe no snake bite but… #kinda love the idea of a smiley 4 him half of it showing out also his teeth are so nice i’m kinda mad about it like??? how are they so white #liv in the replies