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#Thank you for the ask now I want all of these to become a reality
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﴾ i drink your blood and i eat your skin, part eight.
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x f!reader
genre: vampire au
word count: 12,4k
warnings: blood, only a mention of an animal but not described in any way!
author’s note: im so sorry for not writing again sooner, I still have some exams before me to do. though i can’t wait for my summer break, because I will finally have the time to write again and you can look forward to some other stories of mine that are almost rotting in the drafts. and btw thank you again for the amazing support <3
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If only the things you done in the past could be erased the moment you realized you were in the wrong. You wished that after realizing your mistake, it all could be left behind. Why are you so stupid sometimes? Why did you speak before thinking first? Maybe you do deserve the pain he inflicted on you. You were asking for it but you only wanted to know the truth, you didn’t expect that it would somehow affect him so much. It was like he also learned the truth that night. Your head perhaps is just a hole filled with insecurities which you just can’t overcome because you simply won’t expect the fact that someone might actually like you. Like you, to get to know you better, see and hear about your biggest fears and dreams, helping you get pass them, overcome them and accomplish them. It feels like forever since you thought about your feelings this much. You were so used to blocking them away.
You want so badly to just let go and enjoy all of this but you have been alone for so long that you don’t even know if you want to be loved anymore. It is such a crazy idea to you, a reality now…maybe. You dream about being loved that is all you do and maybe it is the only right thing for you. You are a lover girl, not a loved girl…that’s how it is supposed to be in your head. Are you sabotaging yourself?
A man such as himself falling in love with you? Tall, handsome, so charming and yet so dark and broken, wanting only you to be his forever. You want so badly to do the same but it is all just so scary. For quite some time your world started to become dull, everyday was the same. You realized, you were always alone after all and suddenly someone came in to your life, wanting to change that? What if this is the same for him? He has seen the world grow, the circle of life, people dying and being born again. It must be so lonely for him in some way, no one stick around long enough. Like he said — if you were like him, maybe you would understand but you don’t want to say that you somehow do understand…feel something. How could you not really? Even after what happened, because of that you want to get to know him better even more. And you’re so crazy in the head that you almost liked how he touched you…
You are awake now, still however feeling yourself slip into unconsciousness every once in a while. Your body is dripping in sweat, nightgown clinging on to your skin. Though you don’t remember any dream that could possibly make your body react in that way and it is always so cold in your room. A sigh leaves you as you roll onto your back. You hate how much you enjoy the silk sheets pooling over you, caressing you. The blissful state of almost falling asleep again is abruptly interrupt as something drip down on to your skin. You wipe it off but as you do, it only happenes again.
As your hand wiped off the substance which you thought was your sweat, your coated fingers graze your nose. The awful coppery smell hits you instantly, making your face scrunch up in confusion laced with panic. As you open your eyes, they fall onto your hand. You breathe out in shock at the crimson blood as another bead drips into your open palm, making your eyes tilt up to the direction it came from.
…You have never seen such a horrifying sight. Your mind is completely wiped out of any thoughts because you couldn’t simply make out what you are seeing right now. However this gruesome picture stares right at you, almost like presented in a way, so it gives the most gut wrenching feeling out of you. Your whole body stiffened but soon began shaking wildly in panic and fright and every passing second you look at it more, it becomes more real to you. The red color covers your field of vision, you couldn’t see nothing more than that. The once beautiful eyes of the animal are now dull, life completely vanished and you could see the pain in them. The once vibrant white color of its skin now painted red, dripping down on your bed. Your breathing becomes heavy but you couldn’t get any air into your lungs, every intake punches you into your chest and soon your lips open to release a blood curdling scream.
Eyes blocked with your hot tears, made you fall onto the ground as you so desperately try to scramble away as far as your stiff muscles would allow you to. You feel like throwing up, swallowing your spit and trying to fight the awful feeling in your stomach. Your hands curl up to your chest as you sat on the floor, you could feel how much your heart was pounding. You must be dreaming…yes, you must be. This is just another nightmare. Just a nightmare. This is not real. This is not real. This is not real—
You jump harshly as the door to your bedroom swings open, so fast that it flew onto the wall heavily and with such a force that the door almost fell off its hinges. Your hands fly to your ears at the loud sound, still not being able to catch your breath as every intake burned inside your chest. Your bloodshot eyes fall to your nightgown, seeing how much it is stained with that godawful substance and you wish for the floor to swallow you whole.
Your cries are so loud that you don’t even hear someone rushing in to your room, accompanied with another pairs of footsteps. The first person to come in to the room, immediately rushes to your trembling figure, momentarily stopping to look at the sight that now is permanently imprinted in your mind. You feel cold hands touching yours, flinching instantly away from them. You already know who it is, you don’t know how but you just do. Maybe because you feel such a weird sense of calmness wash over you but you are in such a state of shock that you couldn’t do anything other than jump away from the touch.
Hyunjin thought that by being one of the most powerful creatures on earth meant that there was simply nothing to be afraid of…till now — when he heard that sound. Till he heard that horrible sound of your scream…the way it sounded — so in pain, so scared, he immediately felt it too. He didn’t think twice, rushing to your room, so blinded by his own fear that he didn’t even see his family being right behind him, following him. When his eyes fell onto your curled up body, shaking like a leaf, he almost fell down on his own knees in despair. However the well known smell, made him for a second stumble upon the cause of all of this. His heart broke at the sight and also for you. He tried to calm you down but how? You don’t even want to look at him, scared that you will catch a glimpse of it again.
“No—no, I can’t, I can’t–“ Comes out of your lips as soon as his hands leave you. Your shaking hands press onto your eyes, slowly falling down to your knees, crunching up the fabric of your nightgown tightly but you could still see the blood.
Hyunjin glances back for a second at the bed, catching eyes with his equally horrified best friend who stood next to your bed before he also looks down at your body. Only by touching your hands, his own were completely covered in it and for the first time in a while he feels repulsed by the crimson. It gives you pain then why should it give him pleasure?
Your eyes flicker back to the canopy, only feeling more shocked and disgusted at the sight, you just have to be sure you’re not imagining all of this. This is so sick, who did this…why?
Hyunjin looks down again at his hands coated in blood and for a minute he wonders if any of it is yours but he would already know if yes because your blood simply smells different from any other. You aren’t injured physically but this imagine is grater and even more painful than any other. Someone must have done this with a purpose…hurt you. His eyes flash with anger, his priority was only you at this moment, every day, every night. Revenge can wait.
“Search the grounds.” Says Chan. Hyunjin didn’t acknowledge his presence at all till now and looking at him he realized, he wasn’t the only one in great anger. “Even the woods.” He adds, the men who followed their master in to your room nod before scrambling away.
A sob broke the silence, making Hyunjin look back at you. “It’s okay, love-“ He shushes you softly, putting his arms around your body, caging you but still not touching you, only hovering because you didn’t give him your permission.
Your cries die down a little, still hiccuping slightly as the panic slowly goes away. Shaking your head at his words, your eyes close as you tilt your head up. You go to take a breath through your nose but it is only clogged up because of your crying, making you breathe in with your lips. Your eyes open, finally looking at him. Your puffy and red eyes meet his azure and piercing ones. In a sense they calmed you a little as you thought of the ocean every time you would look into them.
Hyunjin’s heart broke even more at your gaze. He could see the pain, panic, sadness while also laced with sleepiness at the corners. How could someone do this to you…
His arms fall a little to his sides and you finally seem to register how close he is to you but you don’t pull away. You are safe now. “Let me help you clean up.”
You don’t give him a response and like he could read your mind, he knew that you weren’t against it. You don’t even know if you can stand up on your own. Your hands press onto the floor, trying to stand up on your shaking legs and before you could stumble even a little, he is already there. Like every time since the night you two met. His hands flew to grip your upper arms. His touch feels different from the past, still strong but now also gentle, like he is holding a piece of glass. You are not sure if it is because of the situation but it almost feels like his cold touch, could set your body on fire. You feel empty, traumatized and completely uselessness. The vampire helped you up, but it is more like he is standing and walking for you both. You have never felt so light in your life and it wasn’t just because of his strong arms, you felt — tired.
He leads you to the bathroom, closing the door slightly while walking you to the bathtub. You let out a small hiccup at his gentle touch, so careful, feeling completely undeserving of his attention at the moment. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry…” He doesn’t response, letting him push you on to the bath, making you sit down at the corner as he hold you in his arms a little longer. Your brain almost forgot about whatever happened outside this door as he rubs small circles on your skin. Your eyes were too scared to look into his, breath hitching as his thumb trails over the naked skin of your shoulder. Hyunjin also got a little lost in the moment before he looks down at your blood covered nightgown. That sight makes him snap back to his senses, hands leaving your body.
When he stepped out from your line of sight, your eyes fell to the mirror. Blood covered your neck, face, even your hair line and basically your whole upper body. You become sick to your stomach, remembering that this is the blood of an innocent animal. Looking at your hands you reminisced the way its soft skin felt on your skin, just a few hours ago. Now they only made you see the crimson that stained them.
As you look upon them, your view is blocked by a hand, traveling over your skin of your fingertips till it comes to softly hold yours. Hyunjin kneels down before you, holding your hand out for him to wipe off the blood from your skin. He was so soft, it almost felt like your skin was being kissed by a whiff of cold wind. His cold touch calms down your racing heart and you almost want to grumble in protest as he keeps his touch at minimum. It felt so nice and jokingly cooling. However in some way you are thankful that he respects your boundaries.
“I can do it myself—“ You whispered, watching the towel slowly turning red while your skin is finally being able to breathe again.
“No.” He said, stubbornly, almost as he was mocking you but on his face was no smile whatsoever.
You watch him wash your hands with the towel, the water in the bucket where he dipped it in progressively getting darker. You are slightly mesmerized by how much bigger his hand is compared to yours. Yes, you do look at them quite often but seeing his long fingers wrapping around your wrist like that is a first. You become aware that you were still dressed in the same, a little see through nightgown and it makes you self conscious. Your other, now clean hand, comes to tug at the fabric so it isn’t so tight on your body. Watching the man before you, you let his hand linger on your wrist, fingers pressing into your pulse.
He could feel how much your heart is racing, but it is not like he couldn’t hear it with his own ears as well as the pulsing blood underneath your skin. Hyunjin went to wring out the towel, turning back to you with his back now straight. Your breath hitched slightly, timidly lowering your gaze. Even if he was the one kneeling he has the power here. How wrong you were…
Fingers, like a feather touching your chin made you look back at the man. The hand on your nightgown formed into fist for a moment as he now washes away the pain from your features. He still holds your chin between his fingers as he wipes the blood, sweat and tears. The embarrassing noise you almost let out, gets stuck in your throat as you look up at him. How can someone look so good from this angle? His concentrated gaze made you feel timid, so many thoughts suddenly running through your head and ones that made you lower your gaze.
Your lips release a choke breath. At the same moment you look away from him, reality hits you yet again. You can still remember the horrible sight you saw just moments ago. “I don’t understand what happened…why would someone do this —“
He sighed at your confused, saddened tone, lifting your chin higher slightly to meet your eyes and suddenly you forgot you were even angry at him yesterday’s night. Whatever happened yesterday was so silly and so stupid, you really don’t understand yourself sometimes. He was so kind to you, even with his nature, he would never hurt you or wouldn’t even want to see you get hurt...Why are your eyes suddenly wide open? You feel horrible that this — what happened made you realize how stupid and ungrateful you were. You just don’t now what to do…so you rather do nothing or just push further and further away.
Your eyes unwillingly welled up with tears, falling down your cheeks freely and poolling in to his hand. “Poor animal, oh my god was it yours — the horse.” The words fall out of your mouth, sniffling at your own words. When you looked at him, he didn’t quite meet your eye and for the first time you could see how much heartbroken he truly was. “I’m so sorry…”
He suddenly looks back at you, his other hand still tracing the towel your tear stained face. “There is nothing for you to be sorry for…I should be the one apologizing.” Hyunjin whispers the last words, his hands falling to his side before going to grip the bathtub you are sitting on.
You immediately understood what he is implying, it is not like you weren’t thinking about it earlier. “No.” You whisper back, trying to meet his eyes but his are set on the marble floor. “I am sorry.” For everything…you wanted to say. You wanted to say sorry for being so detached.
He shakes his head at your words, a short dry laugh falling from his lips. His hands on each side of you caged you under his glare but it wasn’t an unwelcome one, he looked saddened just as you were about all of this. “Someone did this to you — without me knowing even a single thing…” He sneers but his voice becomes little as he looks at your leg briefly where your mark, bruise, he left on you would be. It burned under his gaze. “No one knows a thing and they could have hurt you. I would never forgive myself for that…” His voice almost cracks at the end, recalling what he did yesterday, feeling like he is no better than the person who did this.
His broken tone rings in the air but only a single move it took to change the whole atmosphere of the room. As Hyunjin looked up at you, his hands gripped the edge of the bath so tightly, you could hear the stone cracking under his palms. You corner almost at the wild look in his azure eyes that are now just a flicker more red than usual. “I will find whoever did this and I promise you, I’ll kill them for you.” He says, lip curling up, giving you a small glimpse of his sharp teeth.
Your heart starts to beat even faster with his words and before you could stop yourself, your hand flew to his. Your hand grabbed his, scared that he would break the bathtub with his unhuman strength. His eyes cleared the moment your warm skin touches his freezing one. Both of you glance at each other in shock and just as quickly as you touched him, you pull away.
Your eyes look at your own hands in disbelief as he look at his in amazement. How are you so warm? Hand so smooth and warm that he wondered how it would feel like to have it back on his skin. What you did, in some way feels different from any other touches you have shared before. It felt intimate, just the split of second giving away such a raw emotion in which he now wants to drown in. He tried to say something but words some times are not enough nor necessary. At least your said precious skin isn’t covered in blood anymore but the big stain on your nightgown is still a big give away of what happened.
Hyunjin then stands up without a word, throwing the towel away before stopping to look through the slightly open door. His heart sank as he gazed back into the bedroom, just as his friend was being removed from the canopy of your bed. How come someone was able to sneak in and do this without anyone hearing even a thing? He knows better. This doesn’t feel like an attempt to kill you — his dead heart seems to skip a beat under this awful thought. This was a sign of a warning.
“From now on, you will be with me. I want you by my side.”
You said nothing, because there is no point in arguing and also you liked his idea better than being in here alone. You can’t stand the thought of ever sleeping in that bed ever again and the once beautiful, comfy sheets made your stomach flip. You again turn to look at yourself in the mirror opposite to you, grimacing at the image. Your messy bed hair was sticking to your skin, eyes and lips puffy with your nose runny from the crying, you can’t understand for a moment, how his appeal could be even possible.
Standing up, you again unstick the material of your nightgown from your skin. It felt uncomfortable, not to mention you felt dirty and the way he could probably see the outline of your body didn’t make you pleased. You go around the tub, just where he stood but before he could let you walk pass him, he stops you.
You stumble slightly when he suddenly turn around, blocking your way with his towering body. You look up at him, shakily breathing through your nose as he glared into your eyes. “Don’t look.” He probably meant whatever was happening inside the room right now and you would definitely feel better of not knowing. It wasn’t like you would want to look anywhere else beside his alluring eyes.
You both take the time to look at each other’s features. You marvel over his perfect pale skin that almost seemed translucent as you could see the veins under the thin layer of skin. It felt like you were seeing him in a completely different light. You also wondered if he was enchanted with you as much as you were with him but that didn’t seem right in your head. Maybe if you were clean and would be wearing something nicer…you suddenly want him to see you in the best version of yourself. He literally has only seen the bad and the worse. Where did this come from?
You listen to the noises just outside the room, they however felt like miles away as he grazed his hand over your left shoulder. Hyunjin was experimenting, trying to see if you would feel repulsed by his touch but you didn’t even flinch. Your heart skipped a beat slightly and from what he could hear it wasn’t in a bad way. His hand, completely now on your shoulder, fingers extending that his index finger almost reached your collarbone, trailed down the length of your arm. His hand awakened goosebumps all over your body, the simple touch made you feel so embarrassed as it was so exciting to your untouched skin. His hand stopped at your wrist, short familiarity spiking through you as he left it there.
Who was more nervous? You or Hyunjin? He would like to say that it was him. His hand tightened its hold, still careful not to hurt you…like he did before. Hyunjin throws the thoughts away, trying to enjoy the fact that you are willingly letting him touch you. He has a hard time to look into your big curious eyes, his own glancing at your hand that clunched the fabric of your nightgown closer to your chest.
He quickly looks away, turning around still holding you and finally walking out of the bathroom together. Your eyes were deadly set onto the floor but you couldn’t miss the fact that he purposely blocked the sight of the bed with his body. Though you are still looking at his hand around your wrist. What if he would be holding your hand instead? Maybe interlock your fingers together? That was probably too much and so early for either of you to handle.
When you step outside the bedroom, you feel like, you can finally breathe. Your eyes flicker to the man who is still holding you to the other people passing by you. They walk by you with heavy, fast steps and as you turned around, some of them would stop at your bedroom or continue their path further. So many people, men and women of all ages. It looked unnatural as because you were so used to being alone in this place. Or maybe they already did walk passed you like this, maybe your eyes just weren’t opened till now.
You jump slightly every time your feet would land on the freezing floor, missing the carpets. You glance down, grimacing because you see blood seeping through the carpet, there was no way you could miss it, even on the dark colors of the material. Hyunjin seems to feel your shift, even if if your emotions were all over the place. He could read people just by the smallest difference in the beat of their heart. Well, sometimes when it comes to you. He looked back at you, eyes traveling to the direction you were looking. Such an attention to detail, even he didn’t notice it. His head was just too occupied at this moment.
Confused you glance at him as he took few steps before you, finding his back turned to you but that wasn’t the thing that made you so confused. It was his irregular steps. He looked like he was dancing and soon you realized what he was doing. He was making a path for you to follow so you wouldn’t step in any of the dirty spots on the carpet. You wanted to thank him but words were not necessary at the moment. However, you, nervously, squeezed his finger that was resting inside your palm and he in responded squeezed your wrist back. How can he know you so well when you speak so little?
He lead you further into the house, the furtherest you have ever been so far. You both passed by the big staircase, going right into the direction where you haven’t been before. The hallway at this side of the house wasn’t almost lit at all, some candles though keep you from stumbling in the dark. The air also was colder but not too uncomfortable, maybe because you’re getting used to it. Hyunjin stops almost at the end of the corridor. Right before slightly open door, turning to you to let you in the room first.
Before you step inside, you glance into the room where the welcoming soft hue of orange was coming from. As you took small step inside, Hyunjin for some reason thought that your small uncertainty in your steps meant you’re suddenly uncomfortable with the hold he has you in. He released you at that, fingers twitching as he could still feel the small electricity at his fingertips. When your hand falls unexpectedly to your side, you turn in confusion at your company who without even a glance walks past you into the room. You don’t want to question his behavior anymore, it seems like these mood swings of his are a normal occurrence, so you just follow him inside.
This room was even bigger than yours. Ceilings even higher, decor even more dramatic and everything just so more monumental. You two however weren’t alone in the room as some maids kept running all over the place and are thankful for their presence at the moment. Your eyes flicker to the bookshelfs, lining the walls, to the small table rounded by a couch and some chairs, to another door, probably leading to a bathroom, till they stop at the big bed. Because of the candles that the maids are trying so hard to light up, you could at least get a glimpse of the room like this. Your eyes travel over to him, standing before you, watching you, before you had to again avert your gaze somewhere else, right back to the bed where you can tell how the sheets were unmade.
“Is this your bedroom?” You wondered out loud but you already knew the answer as you glance timidly back to him.
“Yes.” He said.
You hate this when you realized this is the first time you have been in man’s bedroom like this. You simply nod at his agreement, trying to ignore your own thoughts by looking more around his room, finding even more new things to marvel about because of the lit candles. You could see the small streeks of light, coming from the top of the heavy curtains as well as some papers on one of the tables in the room. You again remembered what happened just moments ago. It was so quick, all of this. From the sight to his kind words, touch and now this. He must’ve just woken up as you turn to look at his clothes. They were still the same clothes that he wore last night, another reminder that all of this happened so quickly. You don’t know, if it’s the fact that you don’t have a life to begin with but everything that happened made you so tired but you can’t even think of sleeping again.
Two women passed by you, watching them put something on the bed. The sparkling fabric winked at you and you immediately realize that those are the dresses that were given to you. You look away, however he is already watching your every move, noticing the small look of wonder on your face.
“I haven’t seen you wearing any of the dresses I gave you.” Hyunjin said, turning his back to you slightly as he leans over his bed to pick at the fabric of one of those dresses. “You don’t like them?” He almost sounded hurt.
You knew that he was just playing with you. “I didn’t know they were for me.” You respond, cringing how stupid it sounded. Who did you play dumb for?
He however wasn’t offended by your lie at all. “I wish to see you in them, but of course only if you want yourself.” The vampire added quickly, not to sound too controlling. “It is not wrong to enjoy these gifts I give you.”
To be fair, you can’t lie that there wasn’t a single moment when you almost picked out one of them, to maybe even just feel the fabric between your fingers but dressing up was the last thing on your mind right now. You are still shaken, confused and traumatized, you kind of wished that all of this was just a dream. He knew that even if it didn’t seem like it. He completely understands how you are feeling right now, he is only trying to keep your mind off it.
Hyunjin panics a little as your heart didn’t calm down, still fast, your lips sat into a thin line. “Would you like a bath?” He asked, more like himself as you finally glance back at him at his words. “You would want to yes…” He thought, almost frantically.
Your eyes flicker down at your nightgown again and at the big stain on the front of it. “Yes…but you can clean up first.” You say, looking at his bloodied shirt, he following your statement by also looking at himself, like he only now realized.
“Don’t worry about me, blood has never bothered me.” He waved you off. Till, he saw it being the cause of your pain.
You frown. “Pobably but it is still from your—“ You stopped yourself before even thinking to continue. His face turns into sorrow for a second at the mention of his beloved, now deceased animal. “I’m sorry.”
You look around the room again, trying to escape the conversation. The beautiful decorations kept your mind occupied, eyes traveling to the little angels at each corner of the room. Under the dim light they almost looked haunting. His canopy looked even more magnificent and monumental than yours, if that was even possible and definitely less bloody...The colors of the bed however were still the same as yours, the sheets unmade, duvet almost on the floor.
“Aren’t you tired?” You spoke up again, eyes plastered on the bed. When you were met with silence you glance back, him expressing a small confusion on his features. “Like it’s morning.”
“Vampires don’t get tired but yes, sometimes we need sleep to regain our strength but I don’t think I can sleep, knowing you are now in danger.”
“It is alright, you can-“
“No, it’s not!” He raised his voice, the sheer loudness making you tremble as well as the other people in the room who momentarily stopped everything they were doing just to look at him. It was like he himself got shocked by his own reaction but to him it was the only right one. He doesn’t understand how you are somehow so unaffected about this. Yes, you are still slightly shaking but it seem like this is taking a bigger role on him than you. “Someone was in your room, someone got inside without anyone knowing and left a message that for sure wasn’t a felicitation of me courting you.”
You ignore the fact that he basically said you two were to be wed or something like that, because you only realize by his words that he is right. You’re in danger and without even a single clue who the enemy is, but you know that it must be someone powerful as they got away with this so easily. “But I don’t understand why anyone would want to hurt me — I’m no one.” You mean it. You’re a human with one friend, no enemies that you know of and you have a normal, quiet life — till now.
Hyunjin can’t help the small anger rising in his chest from your words, shaking his head in disbelief that you would even think something like that. “You’re not no one, not only for me but also for others.” That made your heart skip a beat and from the way his voice was radiating sincerity. “Someone knows who you are and that leaves you in a dangerous situation…In my long life, I have never feared the enemies, I made along the way, till now.”
You go silent, only sighing deeply from his confession. He really does now how to use his words to make you go insane in the head. You can’t help but feel slightly giddy inside because of the way he always speaks to you, so kindly and passionately, in way that you have only read in books and wondered — just wondered if anyone like this truly exist. You do not know him that well but you can’t imagine him having any enemies at all...maybe his charms didn’t work all the time.
Yawning, you quickly put your hand over your mouth, silencing that embarrassing sound but it only made Hyunjin’s frown deeper. “You can go to sleep…you’re safe now.” He doesn’t think that there will be even a second of not him listening to your beating heart. The possibility of there being a scenario where he wouldn’t be able to, made him scared…he is scared.
You do feel how your eyes are getting droopy, your legs becoming soft but the thought of sleeping after all of these events really wasn’t possible. “I don’t think I can–“ You sigh in small exhaustion. However your body is telling you a whole different story and he could see it. The thing that happened just moments ago, made you truly awake, it made your eyes wide open, for the first time since you got here. Or maybe since you met him?
You started to see different colors, ones that finally made you feel alive. Like you were born again, in some sense. But was it really necessary for a sweet, innocent animal to get hurt for this? It also could have been you... The thought of some stranger creeping up on you while sleeping, you completely unaware and the person choosing to give a message like this instead of not simply killing you, made you fear even more. “—I’m still sorry for your horse…” You say again, you just can’t help but feel a little bit responsible for this.
Hyunjin has to keep calm, emotions too much for his cold heart to bear. “Like I said, it wasn’t your fault…the most important thing is that you are alright.”
Yes, of course. That was the most important thing…
But you do not in fact feel alright. You have just seen the most gruesome image, you have ever seen. It is all your fault. You do not want to be alone. You want to stay with him — he now makes you feel safe. How could you be so heartless and cold towards him? Was it just your defense mechanism with everything that brings you happiness? Finally being seen, made you frightened as there was also someone or something that saw you. It was in your room, the only goal in their mind to scare you…away?
Set of footsteps echo behind you, stopping just at the threshold of the room. You had to focus your eyes on this new face you haven’t seen before. The young man’s skin, shined in the dimly lit room, eyes reflecting like the eyes of a wild animal. He looked so young, hair longer blonde and eyes striking you with their intensity. He momentarily looked at your figure but his full attention was however on the vampire behind you. They stared at each other, the blonde giving a look which you couldn’t quite understand but Hyunjin certainly did.
You feel him right at your back, cold from his skin so close to yours. Turning around, you glance between him and the young man. His close proximity didn’t startle you that much as he with a deep inhale, backs away from you himself. “I have to go now…” He looks down at you with his blue eyes, searching for forgiveness. You don’t want to be alone…for the first time, you really need his company in some way and even if he didn’t like his nonpresence as much as himself, he needs to do at least something about this situation you’re now in. He could see your small frown, you are trying to hide but there is a hint of understanding which he is thankful for.
He takes a step closer to you but stops midway with his lips parted. Whatever there was that he wanted to say, was replaced by other words, you could see the true words reflecting in his eyes. “If you need anything, just go down to the end of the of the corridor, I will be there.”
The tension could be cut with knife, aware of the audience you two still have, you simply nod in understanding, wrapping your arms around yourself as to form some sort of barrier between you and him. Why does he have to look at you like that? Like he could see right through you or maybe trying to, flickering his vibrant eyes all over you.
Your lips also parted but you close them again as he walks past you in a sense of hurry and you didn’t even know it was because he almost decided to stay here with you…
────
And in fact, sleep didn’t find you after all. Every time you would close your eyes, you would see the gruesome picture, the sad and grey eyes staring right at you, the blood…The bed you are laying in is still cold, the heavy duvet couldn’t give you the warmth you were searching for. You desperately need someone, just to comfort you. You have never felt so scared and paranoid. Your eyes would travel all around the room, till you memorized every detail in the dimly lighted room. You didn’t let anybody blow even a single candle off because the thought of being in the dark, made your skin crawl.
The only thing which weirdly seem to comfort you were the sheets. The spicy, sweet scent lingering in them filling your nose till it helped your body to relax. You tried to ignore the fact that the sheets smelled like him. It is only because he is powerful enough to protect you, his scent wrapped around you like an embrace you still desperately need. Protect you? He even said himself that he failed to do that…Someone really tried to — or maybe at least considered to kill you. You…such a bizarre, scary, yet now true and realistic thing. And it is because of him, the man who still scares you.
You can’t really choose sides because you can see who the real enemy is. You can’t keep telling yourself that he is the one who is going to hurt you. You have to believe that he wouldn’t do that, turn into his instincts and just sucking you dry of your life. Maybe he is just a normal man trapped in his own body…
There is probably no way of going out of this now, you fear you don’t have any other choice. You just want to close your eyes and wake up. Wake up from this nightmare. You hate how you have no idea what do to. You, till now had all the control over your life as it was simple and you were basically the only person in it. You, now have to rely on him, trust him to protect you. Trust him that he will not change his mind with you.
You can’t stand a second alone anymore. The creaks of the old wood made you jump every time, your skin around your nails was already raw from your picking and you could feel the lump in your throat slowly suffocating you. You don’t want to be alone anymore, even if it means that he would be the one to safe you from this prison. You just need a small walk and not think about anything. Maybe find something to eat, since you still haven’t eaten anything, even if the thought of food made you sick to your stomach.
You clinched onto the silky skirt of your nightgown, not even caring about the cold floor under your feet. Your skin was clean but the memory still lingered as well as also the metallic smell under your nose. The black fabric trailed behind you as you make your way out of the bedroom. You simply picked the silky, long, black nightgown because it didn’t remind of that one stained in sin.
This side of the mansion was unusually cold. You wondered if it is because of the death living in these walls. Everything however other than the cold, seemed more used and alive. There were roses at every piece of furniture, the carpet which you were standing on, had in some places its color faded and even the wooden floors were scratched, probably from shoes. It all shined with such light, you haven’t seen before.
You walked further and further, till you had to turn around to look at the end of the hallway to a door. It seemed to call to you, maybe that is were he was hiding but as you reached the railing of the big staircase, you were proven otherwise.
Your hand wrapped around the polished wood of the staircase when you felt it. Him, his presence stabbing you into your back. “Where are you going?” You gasp, turning swiftly, with your eyes wide.
Maybe he should stop doing that. Maybe his quiet movements and talent to always creep up on you, just comes with his nature but you probably will never get used to it. His sudden appearance made goosebumps rise all over your body, looking at him with your lips parted. He looked in some way different...His hair was tussled, eyes piercing and weirdly wide as he stared down at your body clad in the black nightgown with an unnatural expression who think you have seen before — but you just can’t place it. His lips were red and plump, almost like just bit into a cherry. He looked…yes, different that is the word. “Nowhere…” Is your simply answer as you tighten your grip on the railing, not being able to meet his eyes. Why don’t you say the truth? You are not sneaking out or anything but just this sudden difference in his appearance, made you quiver and lost don’t words.
He looks disappointed at your lack of answer. He licks his lips when he took a step closer to you and you couldn’t help but to follow that movement. Was it the smell of him from the sheets still lingering on you or was it coming from him? It burns your nose in an awfully pleasant way, your head almost starts to hurt from it. It wrapped around you, just the way you need, but he didn’t seem to notice your disorientation that much as he himself seems to be quite lost.
“I told you to stay in my bedroom.”
You frown at that. There’s no reason for you to be in his room the whole time, seeing that you are still being watched and he only just proved your point by showing up. Like he said, you’re safe now, at least from the person who did that horrible thing. In fact, you'd rather be doing something other than lying in bed, just wondering. Sometimes being alone with your thoughts is a lot. Finally you want to do something in this still unfamiliar place. For once, you want to do something to keep your mind occupied, so you wouldn’t again drown in your own thoughts and secondly you just don’t think it is that big of a deal that you’re outside his bedroom. There are probably many people looking after you and you’re thankful for that but he seems like he doesn’t trust them, you — to take care of yourself. Maybe you’re a human but you still have free will in this house.
“Till what?” You say, back leaning on the staircase. “I just want something to eat.” You trail off, almost like a little kind after being scolded.
“And I told you to call me if you need something–“
“I can still walk and do things myself…I’m fine.” You, so badly wanted to roll your eyes and maybe not really in annoyance. He came again closer to you and you almost shiver at the smell radiating from him. Why is it so addicting? What is he doing to you?
His stops right in front of you, making you look up into his glaring eyes. Even if his build was quite thin, he radiated power that made you want to curl up into a ball. “You’re taking all of this too lightly.” Hyunjin leans over you, your eyes completely captivated by his and the red hue they held.
“And you too…” You don’t want to say that you got lost in his eyes. Also you don’t know how to feel about someone like him being so concerned about your well being but you think he is just a little exaggerating. It happened to you, not him. You really should feel more scared and you think you even do but all of your fright seem to vanish when he is present. Again, is it only because you know him well enough now that you know, he won’t hurt you or is it only because there is someone showing you who the real danger is? Do you really trust him? Maybe but you do not trust these feelings you are starting to feel when you are with him. When he is away, you always think of him differently than when he is with you…you’re totally screwed.
Hyunjin looks you over, listening closely to your heart. It was steady, you were too calm for his liking. Just few hours ago, you were shaking and now you’re almost completely calm. “You are telling me that this doesn’t concern you?” He questioned you, trying to search in your eyes for answers as they were completely unmoving from his. “Well, it certainly does concern me.”
“That’s good for you.” Comes out of your mouth, wishing silently to not be having this conversation any longer. You suddenly feel embarrassed as you realize how you are acting. The sweet smell turned sorrow the more his frown deepened and also your own expression. Why are you acting like this? You’re a grown woman and you shouldn’t be acting like this. You don’t know if he truly noticed what you were doing but you wished for the ground to swallow you whole.
With a shaky inhale you turn your body to possibly go around him but he saw your move of getting away from him miles away. His arm blocked your way, hand grabbing the railing so close to yours, you again almost shivered as his other also caged you in. You can’t look at him now. You knew you would only embarrassed yourself further. Could he sense your desperation? Maybe this thing — the smell was playing with your head or made you do feel this way about him but you were certain that if you would look at him, you would lost the silent battle between you two.
“Just let me go.” You say, voice soft and quiet but he could hear you clearly as well as your pounding heart.
Your head is leveled with his upper chest but your eyes are set on his hand next you, gripping the railing so tightly, like he is holding the last bit of his sanity left in him. It is only to ignore his breath fanning over you but you just become more aware of his close presence. You could feel his cold breath moving your hair as he leans over your frozen body. “No.”
Your eyes look into his direction, stopping at his chest softly raising and falling and his alabaster skin, peaking out of his slightly unbuttoned shirt. “Let me go, Hyunjin.” You are now pleading because you really do feel like fainting from this rollercoaster of emotions, you’re now experiencing.
Your words may have meant a little more than either of you would like to admit. He looks down at you with such softness that he is only confident in when you are not fully seeing it. “How can you? How can you be so calm? Are you not scared that somebody tried to hurt you?” He says, hair around your forehead being swept away from his breath.
You finally look at him, pointedly. “It is not like it would be the the first time…”
Were you only this mean to see what he would do? See how much it would take for him to see that maybe you’re not the right person for him. Everything that happened was only because of someone else. And he in fact finally sees you, even more than you thought he would as he steps away from you with his eyes flashing with anger. Or maybe he is just seeing what you've been trying to achieve all along. Trying to throw away any responsibility as your form of self protection. Because your life gave you everyday the same things and when finally something new happens to you, you are too scared to do anything about it.
Maybe you were being too harsh with your words as you look upon him. As soon as he backed away from you, he comes even closer. Way closer. You become wide eyed from how fast, he pinned you up against the railing. “Listen to me, you will stay in your room till I say otherwise, I can’t compel you but I sure will convince you.” The stairs digged painfully into your back and not from you trying to get away from him, he is actually the one pressing you into it.
You breathe out as you can feel your chests up against each other and you flush at the feeling more as you realized there weren’t that many layers separating you. “You c-can’t…” You can’t talk properly as he is basically suffocating you.
He tilts his head a little at your words. “Can’t what?” Hyunjin repeats, tilting his head down at your level to maybe catch your eye fully. “You’re really testing my patience, love. I don’t want to be like this…I don’t want to make you fear me but you’re so…insufferable.”
Please, stop saying that. You do know how you are acting and that it is bad. No person deserves this and you do know what it feels like. You are becoming the very person you hate. “Hyunjin….I am so sorry — I am just so scared.” You’re scared of everything. Manly from these feelings bubbling inside your chest, not even the person that wants to hurt you, scares you more. You promise yourself to not feel this emotions again, it just never works out in your favor. You glance at him, eyes filled with sorrow that his own seemed to completely mimic. “I just don’t want to think about all of this. Everything is still so new and now this?” You look around, hating yourself for the burning in your eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore…what to feel anymore —”
His hand travels from the railing closer to your own, tips of his fingers touching your burning skin. You look down at his hand, lingering again so close to yours before looking up at him with big eyes. “Then let me…let me be you, I will protect you but you just have to let me in….” He says, whispering those words to you.
Your heart flutters at his words. Does he really mean it? If yes, would you even be able to give in fully? You can’t say that you don’t want to. His eyes look into yours with such softness, you wondered if those are really the same eyes you saw the first night you two met. You could see him, through those red irises you saw someone. His true self. He also could see the small girl peaking from behind the beautiful color of your eyes, a small girl who searched her whole life for a purpose and love. He wants to think he is what you have been searching for. He enjoys these moments of complete silence. Your voice is so warm and soothing but sometimes these silent moments gave more than words. Hyunjin could look at you freely. From your eyebrows to your eyes that showed him wrinkles of smiles and tears they have been through, to your nose that you sometimes like to stick somewhere you shouldn’t and then your lips. You do notice that.
You let him, as you are also letting your own eyes fall onto his own but the usual admiration you had for them vanished. From the conversation you had before you didn’t notice the small smudge of red at the corner of his mouth. You knew what it was, you knew what he was, so this should be normal, even for you but you today find yourself absolutely dispising this color. You turn your head away from him and he at the loosen his grip on the railing.
You don’t want to think about what happened, you don’t meet his lingering stare. You knew it would only give away your feelings for him, you wouldn’t be able to hide them. He steps away from you, still however keeping close to you but you could atleast breathe now. You look up at him then after few moments of just trying to calm yourself down, eyes falling immediately on the same spot as before, at his lips.
“What do you want to eat?”
“Huh?” You let out dumbly, momentarily looking at his eyes which held a teasing flicker. “–something?”
His lips curl up at one corner, exactly the one where the smear is. “Well, you will have to tell me more if you want something, angel.”
Can he stop with these nicknames already? Nobody called you that before and it made an unfamiliar feeling rise in your chest. You could feel your face burning and you knew he could tell. You frown at that, embarrassed. “Stop it” You mumbled to yourself but it was in some way mainly meant for him and you don’t immediately realize he could still hear you.
“Stop what?” He asks, confused but you knew with the look on his face that he is teasing you.
You sigh. “Nothing…” Playing along and to safe yourself from further embarrassment, you start to play with the skirt of your nightgown. “…whatever there is available.”
You starts again fidgeting in his presence but this was totally normal now it seams. You really do become aware of how much you can’t speak freely to new people, so used to the small circle you had. Oh, how you missed them but you do think that if Mia knew at least with who you’re spending your time with, she would be absolutely delighted for you. You dream about having at least enough confidence to speak without any fear of how the others would perceive you but on the other hand, you really didn’t think twice before talking. Like now.
His lips which had your full attention parted to maybe again say something teasing in his sultry voice of his but your thoughts were already flying from your mouth before he could even get a sound out. “Why is there blood on your mouth?”
There is silence after that, watching how the warmness in his eyes slightly dimmed. You’re always asking such questions — you do know why. It was just a small thought that you should have kept to yourself. He looked at you with a small pointed look, not knowing how to answer because it was so obvious. Yes, it truly was. However your mind sometimes likes to blur the fact that he really feeds from blood and blood only. Such a fairytale — perhaps nightmare he is, you still can’t wrap your head around it.
His eyes linger on yours while he swipes the blood from his lips with his thumb, his movements little too slow to not be intentional. The fact he then wraps his plump lips around the digit is definitely on purpose. Your own parted into a silent gasp, feeling your heart, hammering against your chest from his actions.
You think that maybe he was a going to say something again or take a challenging step closer to you but your little moment was interrupted by a set of quick footsteps with heavy breathing. You both turn to your left to see a young woman, coming from the hallway, stopping for a second as she jumps at your appearance. Your eyes travel from her scared eyes to her clothes, giving you a clue that she is one of the maids in this home but you definitely couldn’t look away from the blood coating her hand which was pressed into her neck.
Your heart broke a little as you connected the dots, flickering your gaze to Hyunjin. The woman thankfully didn’t stay for too long as she quickly disappeared from your sight. You do still look into her direction because you can’t look at him again. Maybe you are just exaggerating but to you this is a big deal. You don’t know if feeding from someone means anything to them — him but to you it does. Piercing someone’s skin with your teeth to drink blood which was your source of pleasure…It is no one of your business if he is with other women — or is it?
You could feel your face unwillingly scrunch up into a frown, you can’t hide that you are upset and somehow disgusted by this anymore. Hyunjin stiffened, the thick silence even for him too much to bare, tilting his head to meet your eyes and maybe make you see how sorry he truly is for you to see him like this, again. However you simply turn away more from him. Somehow he understands your reaction but he is not so sure why you would take it so deeply. It is a normal thing for him. He needs to feed after all, just under these different circumstances.
He calls out to you but you ignore him, pressing your lips into a thin line to appear, somewhat not too affected. Your lack of reaction makes him feel small — thinking carefully about the right words, so as not to make you even more upset or scare you more away from him. If you’re taking this so seriously so shall he. He didn’t even think twice about such thing but he has to keep in mind that you’re still new to this. “You must understand that I have to feed.” He says, sighing at your frown that you are trying to make as little as possible. “It means nothing—“
You look up, puzzled little with yourself. One side is telling you that this is alright and nothing is wrong with it but your other side is telling you the complete opposite. He wishes to be with you but does something like this? Something so intimate? You feel your own skin tingling at the thought of his teeth piercing your own very skin. Jealousy strikes you in the back of your head, showing you exactly why you so despised this. You don’t know for sure, if you want to be the one to give him blood but you for sure don’t like anyone else doing it. Is it so normalized to bite someone into their most sensitive places and drink from them? He looks unsure of what to do next as you only look at his face with emotionless expression but like he said — your eyes always gave you away.
“If you want this to work…I want you to stop feeding — atleast like this.” Maybe you don’t mind him feeding from someone but just not there…that only should be for you only. “It maybe doesn’t mean anything to you but it does to me. I know, I shouldn’t be asking you this, how to feed but to me it feels…intimate.” And erotic, you wanted to say but even this simply word, was somehow hard enough to get out of your mouth under his watchful eyes. Hyunjin stays silent a little more and not like you, he seems to think over his words.
“Alright…” He answered you, before his face falls so quickly into a frown that you almost missed it, but it wasn’t from your disagreement with his diet. It was simply because of the way you sounded out the words. “–are you saying, you want me to feed off you only?”
You should’ve known better, of course he just asked you that as it wasn’t already so obvious from your confession. Your hand flies to your chest, pressing your palm slightly where your heart starts to beat a little faster, your eyes big and eyebrows furrowed. “I-I…don’t know.” It really is quite a unique question to be asked, but you do ignore the fact that you already know the answer.
He blinks at your weak tone, a small smile tugging at his lips. “You say that a lot, but I know, you do know, Y/N…” He said, waiting a little before continuing, maybe to see if you would say something more, but you only look at him through your pretty lashes. He sighs at your expression, before tilting his head down. “I will stop feeding in the sense of biting.” You meant that you don’t want him to bite someone in their neck, but you are pleasantly surprised by his answer, so you stay quiet. “Now, I’ll bring you something to eat, it will be waiting for on the table outside of our room.” You shutter embarrassingly at that one specific word, coughing, to mask your shocked reaction. He didn’t make a move that indicated that he just heard your embarrassing noise of shock, but in his head he was smiling big. You thought that this conversation would still go on but you’re happy with how it ended. At least you’re not fully at each other’s throats. Huh, funny…
You are now the one with your lips left apart, words swirling in your head as he passed by you, his hand grazing so close to yours which was placed on the corner of the railing when he started to ascend down the stairs. Your nose is yet again, hit with his smell, wrapping around you like a duvet of the embrace you so needed. Watching him walk away from you, though didn’t feel like the other times and only after he disappeared from your line of sight, you walked back to yours and his bedroom.
────
It is been a long day, such a long day for you to just again drown in your thoughts. You didn’t leave the room for the rest of the day, simply spending your time on one of the couches, reading. The words however as the day slowly turned into night started to blur. From your exhaustion and also from the realization of the situation that will soon have to be dealt with. You look at the bed with a blank expression, because there couldn’t be a face for you to express with all the emotions you were experiencing.
As the sun set, you finally decided to open the heavy curtains, blocking, till now, your view of the outside. You could have opened them sooner, but you didn't want to risk him getting caught in the sunlight — however, he didn’t come. You looked out the window, till you saw the sun disappear and the moon appear. Every day that passed by was so slow to you, but by that time the nature had time to bloom into its beauty. Everything started to get greener, more vivid — was the earth always this colorful? The warm, orange light tickle your skin that you almost felt like one of those creatures as because you got so used to the darkness. But you did start to see its own beauty — Hyunjin came late that night as expected and sleep didn’t creep up on you, till he arrived. Perhaps you were concern, but you don’t want to say that…
You were already in bed, body tucked under the heavy duvet and eyes closed, but you could tell that he knew, you were awake. He just simply chose to not say anything, maybe not to disturb you in your peaceful state, but inside you were shaking. He went to the bathroom and at that you were again thinking about how you two will share the same bed…
You have never shared a bed with a man before, even like this — you haven’t even been to a man’s bedroom till now! Was it fright that made your heart beat so fast? You know, he wouldn’t do anything to you, but still….or maybe you were just nervous. And not in a bad way it seemed. Your fingers gripped onto the bed as the every passing second, he spend more in the bedroom, became even more unbearable for you.
You waited for him to come back. A long time at that and you didn’t have a single clue that his long stay in the bathroom, was simply because he was nervous too. He, spend his time simply looking at himself in the mirror, thinking about how to calm himself down. Who would have thought that he could even feel such an emotion? To him, the time that he spend inside the bathroom wasn’t long enough for him to find the right courage to come back into the room, but it was long enough for him to think back to the moment you two shared.
Drinking blood from someone, became for him a daily thing, a normal thing, like for you to drink and eat. Till you said that — was he always this blind? He never thought of drinking from someone this way, but he knew of course that for humans it was different. He did feel the pleasure, but for humans it was out of this world almost, but you didn’t know that…You only said that it seemed intimate and he is thankful that you don’t know the whole truth about how a vampire bite feels for a human…What were you doing to him? It is been a long time since he second guessed himself like that. He became more careful with his moves, since you arrived, but he can’t lie that he still is a little reckless sometimes and just does what his heart desires and acts on his instincts.
Time flew past quickly, yet so slowly, but you couldn’t fight the hazy state you are falling into any longer. Your eyes closed a long time ago, but now the deep frown on your face started to soften. You felt your body falling, melting almost into the sheets and your mind became so quiet and peaceful that you didn’t have the power to acknowledge the silent creek of the bathroom door.
His slow footsteps blend in with your heartbeat in your ear. The old floor creaking under his weight, was the only thing giving him away. You hear the last creak stop next to the bed, hair on the back of your neck standing up at that. You could feel his stare on the back of your head that peaked out of the soft duvet. Being so sleepy, you didn’t feel your heart pounding that much, but you do wait anxiously for his next move, eyes wide set on his silhouette dancing in the candle light on the wall,
You feel cold air of the room piercing your back as the duvet is slightly lifted off you. You realize at that you basically stole almost all of it and in some way, it made you embarrassed simply because it were his own sheets — and also your nose unconsciously kept digging into them, filling your lungs with his smell. You don’t feel much bad because you knew he didn’t need anything to cover himself with. You wanted to give him more of it, but you only found yourself completely frozen as your whole senses heightened when you feel a dip in the bed.
The bed was big, but soft enough to feel how his whole body fell into it. When the only source of light is then blown away, you became highly aware of the body laying behind you. Was he watching you? Probably, like he always did. Your heart jumped a little as he rolled his body over and you just knew that he was facing your back.
His blue eyes watched your body and other than the small rising of your body when taking a breath, you were completely unmoving. He played with the edge of the duvet, that didn’t even cover a little of him. Pulling up the duvet, was a request for you to at least give him some, but as you didn’t even move an inch, he chose to sacrifice a night without it.
Few moments passed by and again you became sleepy, snuggling into the bed and missing another subtle shift of the body behind you. You don’t even feel him, leaning his upper body over yours. You don’t even feel the cold breath on your cheeks nor the cold radiating so close behind you.
He leaned over you, left hand keeping his upper body from falling onto yours. His other twitched in the air, just hovering over the length of your waist. He for a second couldn’t help but stare at your blissful state. From your red cheeks bitten by the cold, smushing almost together from your face being so snuggled into the pillow to your eyelashes fanning over your cheekbones, to your ruffled hair, creating a halo around you, till again his eyes fell onto your lips. They were puckered slightly, flushed just as your cheeks. You looked absolutely ethereal. He must say, he has seen you sleep before, but not from this angle nor this close. It was like seeing you from a complete different perspective — view of a lover, he wished to say.
But then, your so called blissful state was interrupted when you felt it — when you felt the weight of his arm around you, tugging you into him. Your eyes shoot open, heart almost jumping out of your chest, but you don’t immediately move away. You savor the feeling of him hugging you, the feeling of his body flush against yours. But as the coldness of his skin started to seep through the layers of clothes, duvet and then piercing through the warmth into you, you move away from him.
He didn’t hold you tightly nor forcefully as you jump to the edge of the bed quite easily. “I am sorry, I can’t…” You croaked, quietly into the darkness.
His head hanged low, already hating himself more from doing that, making you uncomfortable and just doing something without your permission. His nails teared through the material of the sheets as his eyes fell onto your still not turned body. “I understand.” He whispered back. He really does, but he thought that maybe, you could at least let him touch you like this, to just hold you. “I will sleep somewhere else.”
You only nod a little, eyes still looking into the darkness before you. As he got out of the bed, the coldness left with him and you realize that it truly was completely different from the one in the room. You listen closely to his footsteps, before you hear a muffled huff as he fell probably onto the couch. You feel bad for him to be the one to leave his own bed, but there probably wouldn’t be even a room for you to talk otherwise. You lay back down fully after a minute, his presence still known to you and at that sense of calmness washedover you.
His eyes reflected in the dark as he watched you again from afar. He saw how your breaths after a moment became even, body completely sinking into his bed. Closing his own eyes, the soft thuds of your heart, filled his ears. And that melody accompanied by the pictures of every moment today with you kept his mind occupied, till he felt his own need of sleep come over him. At least he has something to dream about now.
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renren-006 · 3 days
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Y'all did know? - Daryl x fem reader
Anon: i absolutely fucking love your fics, i read so many fanfics i don’t always remember authors but i for sure remember and recognize you and your work partially bc i reread it often❤️ after reading your last daryl fic at 4 am bc i couldn’t sleep i had an idea for a fic for him. what if it was slightly the opposite thing, like daryl and reader got together early on, maybe the knew each other before hand like reader was a bartender at merle’s favorite bar bc we all know daryl takes time to warm up to be ppl, and the cdc happens, while drinking they make their confession and get together officially, but readers like daryl with the fact they’re kinda shy and take a while to warm up to ppl so they don’t do pda and stuff publicly, not really intending to hide it but also not wanting the attention, and maybe they assume their ppl from their group know (this is where the set up for that last fic got me bc i can see this being a long timeline)......
original ask: Ask
a/n: hey anon!! i decided to copy some of what you wrote here but it was a massive request and I absolutely enjoyed reading it and writing it!!! thank you for the kind words!! you guys are why i love writing and helping make your stories become reality! hope you all enjoy reading it! word count: 3107
taglist: @rosecentury
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Before World Ended:
You met the Dixon brothers a few years before the world ended. You were a bartender at a small driver's roadside bar off Atlanta I-85. You started working there after you graduated from college, hoping to make some money to put away to get out of Atlanta. 
Merle was always a loud drunk and a loud customer throughout the day. Daryl, however, was a kinder soul, apologizing for his brother before seating himself directly in the center of the bar area. The two of you chatted through your shift, mostly about who comes in, how his day was, and what the weather for the week would be like. It was small talk, but with the other rednecks checking you out, you felt comforted by him. Daryl never made any plans to put any moves on you in the three years he knew you, but when the world ended, and you almost got killed, he knew he had to.
"I like ya," he said aloud. You looked over at him. He was gazing up at the sky, a beer between his knees. You just sat there watching the man. 
“What the hell does that mean?” you asked, slightly annoyed. You not only had almost died by an undead customer, but also it was an undead customer. The idea that people could die and come back to life as something unlike themselves was utterly unbelievable. You watched blow you as that undead walked around without noticing you and Daryl on the bar's roof. Merle was blocking the rest of the bar to keep everyone out. All three of you knew you would have to leave soon, but it didn't matter; the summer breeze was still blowing, and the beer was still cold for now. 
“It means…ya almost died and the shit of the world, so… I like ya.”
“You are a master with your words,” you told him sarcastically. You've known Daryl for years now; the two of you spoke the same language with people. You were always shy, and Daryl just took a while to open up to people. You both were a lot alike, and that's what kept you together and attracted you to one another. “I like you too.”
GEORGIA:
The two of you never addressed your relationship with each other, not that anyone really needed to know. Nor did the two of you showcase it. Since both of you were shy and had a bit of a more rigid exterior about letting people in, you just figured when you were alone with each other was the time to be closer, but out in the world hand, holding, loving looks, and conversation were the way to go about it. 
Merle knew, of course; he figured it out quickly. He was the only one learning about the two of you and not caring. Daryl acted the same as he had, except he didn't dare flirt with you. Daryl had given him one look on the road when you walked ahead, and he was staring at your ass that he never tried again. Merle may be mean to Daryl, but he never would cross-touch what were his brothers. Everyone thought it was a word.
“He doesn't flirt with you, does he?” Andrea asked you a few months into living together. You shook her your head. “Weird, he never stopped with me.”
“Maybe you're just his type, Andrea.”
“And you're not? Anything with tits and an ass and Merles all over it,” she said to you, not noticing the slight touch of hands with Daryl as he walked by and the smile you gave. She kept running on about Merle's annoyance, not noticing anything else around her. 
FARM:
“You crazy bitch” you yelled towards Andrea. She had run over far behind your form and Ricks. The two of you dashed towards the fallen man without a second thought in your mind. You ran towards your man, who was lying in the grass, groaning in pain. Daryl was barely speaking in Rick's arms as they carried him off. 
“Don't worry, your man will be fine,” Shane said, keeping you from absolutely bashing Andreas' face in. She took one look at your anger and held her hands up, walking backward towards Dale. “Don't bite her head off for this.”
“Whatever,” you said, shoving him off and walking up towards the house, where Daryl was now being brought inside. You didn't even consider Shanes's words that day, “your man.” it never crossed your mind that he was teasing you. Shane was a dick; everyone knew it more recently. You could see Shane's vacant eyes glancing at everyone in a way that made your skin crawl. You thought the only reason he was acting like that towards you was this asshole was flirting. He knew you were taken, right? You were mistaken. 
ROAD AGAIN:
You handed over a can of soda to Daryl. You had only found two in the house you searched.  Surprisingly, the can was left in a cabinet, meaning you could drink it if you wanted to. Daryl and Rick approached you once they entered the house. They both came to help you in the bigger house. You placed the soda in Daryl's hand.
“It's not beer, but I know you'll enjoy it anyway,” you said to him before heading up the stairs. 
“She's sweet on you,” Rick said with a smile, teasing the man beside him about you as you skipped the last few steps. 
“I know,” Daryl said as he went to look for other things inside the house. Rick looked back and forth between the stars and where Daryl had gone off, too. He laughed slightly.
“Those idiots,” Rick said, thinking they both had no clue about the other's feelings when everyone else was oblivious to their known feelings. 
PRISON:
You stood on the watchtower, scouting the land ahead. Daryl and a few others had gone on another trip to look for supplies. You had your rifle on the railing as you watched, and then you set up their gear and trucks. Maggie slid in next to you. She watched you watch Daryl move around in the ground, setting up his motorcycle. He looked good down there; the way his body moved, his mussels, and even the way his hair was falling was driving you wild. Maggie caught a glimpse of you checking him out.
“You're so obvious,” she told you. You laughed slightly.
“Sorry,” you apologized; you knew you were obsessed with watching him, but how could you not? You’ve known Daryl for so many years now it was impossible not to watch or admire the man before you. You loved him, and he knew that. Daryl was also quite aware of your joys of watching him, sometimes he would put on more of a show of stretching or giving you those lustful eyes you knew would mean the two of you wouldn't get any sleep that night. It was his favorite thing to do to get you worked up throughout the day. 
PRISON:
Daryl knew he was forgetting something before he even shut the truck's door. He heard her voice before she even reached the hill in the Prison. 
“Wait.” Daryl glanced out the window of the truck, putting his arm out and waving. He knew she was smiling from that before her face popped up in his vision. “You forgot your water bottle!” Smiling up at him was you, his girl—Rick snickers from the seat beside Daryl. 
“Thanks,” He said, grabbing the water bottle from your hand, “saving my ass.”
“Always am,” you responded, giving him a wink. Have a safe trip out.” As you said it, you turned with a wave and walked back up the hill. Swaying our hips bit as you did, you gave Daryl a show that you knew would make him come back to you tonight with a mission. 
Daryl and Rick headed off on their scout to a new town they had spotted on the map, a few miles away from the other town they had picked clean. As the two looked around the houses, Daryl went through many jewelry cases for anything that might seem like something you would wear. Rick came in on him, picking through when he had found the perfect thing.
“She would love this,” Daryl said. Rick came up next to him, observing the (silver/gold) necklace with a bird on the end of the chain swinging in the air. 
“Do you think about anything but her?” Rick asked, laughing as he exited the room to look in the one next to it. Daryl chuckled and shook his head. No, you were always on his mind. 
Little did he know, Rick assumed Daryl had a massive crush on you, not that he had any suspicions you two were already together.
When they returned and Daryl was back sitting next to you on that mattress on the floor, he pulled out the necklace. 
“I found it,” he told you, handing it over to you so you could see it. “I know how much ya miss these types of things.”
“Haha, did you know I missed jewelry?” You asked him, shocked he somehow knew how much you missed having something to wear around your neck. He nodded his head.
“I knew, ya mentioned it a while ago. Been looking for something for ya”
“Daryl,” you said with admiration. He put it around your neck; the man who you had met in a bar all those years ago was now putting a necklace on your neck in a run-down prison at the end of the world. 
AFTER PRISON FALL:
“Daryl?” You said, besides Carol, who had just completed her job of destroying a massive facility of cannibal people. You had been with her, the girls, and Tyreese since the fall and had been so scared that Daryl didn't make it out of the prison. You had run out of the hut and left Tyrese once you heard the explosion. You had found Carol and walked over to the others and saw him. 
Daryl didn't hesitate to run straight for you. You hugged me so tight you felt the air in your lungs stop for a moment, but you didn't care.
“I miss ta. I thought ya died,” Daryl said as he clung to your body. He had gone through hell to fight and find you, and here you were, not a scratch on you and in his arms again. That necklace still hung around your neck, a form of commitment to the both of you about who you were with.
“I'm alive. I'm alive,” you said as you held the man in your arms. The others stood and watched your reunion, no one thinking anything- “Wow, they must care for each other a lot.”
Once he broke off the hug, it was like looking into the eyes of the world again. You could see color, purpose, and meaning. He was everything to you.
 
AFTER TERMINUS:
After the terminus, Daryl stuck to your side. The two of you walked together, ate together, slept near each other, and went on runs together. When Carol and Daryl went to Atlanta, so did you. 
“How long have you two been together?” she asked as you walked through another building in Atlanta. Daryl casually answered as he passed an office door with a walker trying to get out.
“Since Atlanta fell,” he answered. Carol stopped, turning back to the two of you.
“You've been together for more than three years?” She asked the two of you. “How did no one pick up on it?”
“Wait, what?” you asked, shocked, “How does no one know Daryl and me are together?”
“You two have never been very…affectionate,” she told the two of you. Darly glanced your way. The two of you laughed a little at that.
“Yea, that makes sense,” Daryl said. This was the moment the two of you started looking towards the others for any answers if they knew you were together. For the last few months on the road, getting to Alexandria yielded you the response that no one knew a thing. It caused a bit of agitation for the two of you about how maybe your attitudes about being affectionate were causing more harm than good. 
ALEXANDRIA:
Once you all had gotten settled in and jobs were assigned, you all started to try and live a normal life again.Since moving into the two houses, you shared a space with Miccone, Rick, Carol, Daryl, and the kids. You and Darly took a room downstairs along with Carol down the hall, and the rest were split in the rooms upstairs. No one questioned you staying with Daryl or even looked at the fact that there was only one king bed in that room with the two of you. 
While Darly was assigned to go on runs to look for people, you were assigned daycare and teacher duty at the house designated for the school. It kept you busy while Darly was away, and on the days you had off or no one showed, you hung around with Crol or took watch. Many days, you walked around the complex, taking in the signs and the ability to walk in peace. That was until one day.
“Hey, you're one of the women from the new group, right?” a man asked as you walked back to your shared house. You could see Daryl on the porch talking with Carol, but he had not seen you yet. 
“Uh yeah,” you said, continuing to walk back; the man pulled your arm to face him.
“You know it's rude to keep walking when someone is talking to you. Or did you forget that after living in the wild for so long?”
“I didn't forget anything; I just don't want to talk to you,” you told the man, shaking your arm out of his grasp and walking faster towards the house. Finally, you made eye contact with Daryl. The way his face looked, you knew it was because he had heard. The man didn't stop trying. 
“Hey, don't walk away from me,” he said, running back up to you, grabbing your arm so hard and pulling and making you stumble back. “What if I'm not good enough for you? Can’t a man ask a girl for some action or what?” he said, pulling you closer to him. 
“Stop it,” you yelled back, but you didn't have to fight hard. Daryl was a flash before being by your side, and the man's face was flush against his fist.
“Touch me woman again, and that's the least I'll do to ya,” he said. The man froze as he looked up at you from the ground. That was the day you realized the longer people didn't know either of you was together, the more people would try and come up to you, assuming you were not. 
Daryl went to bed that night, angry. You knew it wasn't towards you, but the coldness in the room made you feel like the world was ending if you and him couldn't be more open. 
ALEXANDRIA:
‘What if you two just got married?” Carol asked as she was cooking in the kitchen. You paused your reading from the chair in the living room to look into the kitchen at Carol. 
“What?’ You asked, shocked by her expression. She turned away from what she was cooking on the stove to talk to you. 
“Well, since the people in Alexandria won't take the hint you've taken, and Daryl's upset, and also the issue of our own family not knowing…maybe you should just go out, find some rings, and get married.”
“I…hadn't thought of that,” you told her. “You think Daryl would be okay with that?”
“I think Daryl is more on board with that idea than you think, y/n,” Carol told you. She knew about the distance that had been caused by the repetitive men hitting on you. The guy whose nose was broken never once tried to come up to you and denied anything happening with you when others asked. No one knew what Darly had said that day apart from those there. The decision was made, at least on your part. You stomped your way over to Aaron's house. When he answered the door, you stomped in. 
“Need Daryl,” was all you said before heading to the back of his house to the garage. There, Daryl's bike sat as he tinkered with it. You slammed the door open, causing Daryl's head to look towards the door. A shutter went through the house.
“The hell, woman..” Darly almost got out. 
“Marry me,” you said when he was almost done speaking. Daryl's mouth closed, looking at you. “Do you need me to repeat myself? Daryl Dixion, marry me.”
“Ya no, I heard ya y/n,” he said, standing up, “why?’
“Why? Because I love you, and no one can even tell I do or that we have been together for more than four years,” you told him, frustrated by the string of events of the past year. 
“You want to marry me?” Daryl asked, taking your face in his grease-covered hands.
“Yes,” you told him, smiling.
EVERYONE'S REACTIONS:
Rick was holding a dinner for the family that night. Carol completed a large spread, and everyone showed up. You and Daryl were late. When you showed up, the two of you were holding hands. Michone was the first to welcome the new development.
“You guys waited long enough,” she joked, causing other heads to turn. Daryl looked down at his feet, and you just let out a sigh.
“We didn't, though,” you told them. Everyone looked twords you two in confusion. 
“Didn't what?” Michone asked, clearly confused by what was happening. 
“We've been together for four years,” Darly said, “And we just got married to prove it.” He lifted his hand to show the gold band on his finger, and yours lifted as well, showing the (silver/gold) band with a few small diamonds on it. The two of you had found a jewelry store and had fun picking out your ring, while Darly wanted something simple. 
“Holy shit,” Abraham said. 
“Wait, what? '' Carl shouted, clearly confused about how his uncle had been together with you for so long, and he didn't know.
“Congratulations,” Carol answered. Everyone else was shocked. “Oh, I've known about them for a while.”
“Tonight's dinner story is how the two of you got together,” Rick said as he motioned for the others to sit, “And no one is leaving out any details.”
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youdontknowwhotfiamm · 21 hours
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how is Hamas good ? forgive me if I'm misreading this, but it seems like that's what ur saying ? didn't they also take hostages, do rapes, and kill people ? not hating just curious. ty ^^
It’s alright my love I have the ask button just for this. My 3 big points are.
1. No proof of the rapes:
I’m a huge believer in believe the victim right, but when it comes down to something that involves war crimes and the credibility of one of the sides I would expect to see a rape kit or some form of proof that the rape actually happened.
2. Hamas are a group of kids who’ve been through hell:
Every single Hamas member was once a Palestinian child who was treated unfairly, who lost everything, who had his parents killed, who lost his house, who lost his family. Every single one of them has a reason to be in the freedom fighters category. You think you just wake up and choose to become a freedom fighter? That’s not how it works. These are men who were abused, beaten, had everything they owned stripped from them, are surrounded by hatred towards them. You can’t possibly expect someone to live through these conditions and not want to fight back.
3. They are fighting for the freedom of their country:
Now you probably heard about Palestine sometime between the last 8 months right? What you are seeing on your screens right now has been a reality for us for the last 76 years. I have been seeing videos of children being beaten for being Palestinian my whole life. I have been seeing videos of children getting shot simply for being Palestinian ever since I was a child. Mind you I’m 18. This has been going on for almost a century. All I have EVER wanted to do is visit Palestine but it has never once been safe enough. My own uncle went to prison for trying to protect his daughter, this happened when I was maybe in the first grade so almost 12 years ago. We have not heard from him since we don’t even know which prison he’s in. The atrocities that these people have seen on a day to day basis are unimaginable.
This is why I stand with Hamas and will forever stand with Hamas. I don’t mind a peaceful solution where Jews can feel safe in Palestine, quite the opposite actually I would love that to be a solution. But when we have children visibly shaking and having panick attacks when they hear the word Yahood (Jews in Arabic) you know something is wrong. Thank you for the ask if you have anymore questions I’m open to answering them.
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minniethemoocherda · 23 hours
Text
Stay With Me
A/N: I cannot thank you all enough for all the support you guys have given me in response to my Morpherine fics! It has been completely insane especially all your incredible comments as well as all the amazing art over on tumblr! If it wasn't for you guys then I probably wouldn't feel as inspired to keep writing these fics so again thank you all so much!!!! Xxxxxxx
Ao3
FF.net
"NOOOOO!" Morph screamed as they woke up to find themselves sitting in a puddle of their own sweat and gloop.
They screamed again their bedroom door was broken down.
"What's wrong?" Logan demanded, claws drawn and body tensed ready to pounce.
"You giving me a fucking heart attack!" Morph cried, firing a pillow across the room.
Logan slashed through the first, but the second that Morph had launched a moment later hit him square in the face.
Morph was too riled up to feel any satisfaction at that fact.
"What are you even doing here?" Morph asked, feeling their body finally fully solidify back to its normal shape under the fabric of their oversized t-shirt.
"I heard you talkin' in your sleep." Logan grumbled.
"From all the way on the other side of the mansion?" Morph said pointedly, since they both knew that Morph knew that Logan's super-hearing didn't work that well.
That was when Morph realised that Logan was still wearing his uniform despite the fact that it was- Morph checked the alarm clock besides them- three o'clock in the morning.
"Do you want to tell me why you're not in bed?" Morph asked.
"No." Logan replied.
"Do you want to go back to bed?"
Logan sat himself in front of the remains of the doorway, watchful eyes glaring into the corridor outside.
"No."
"Do you want to come to bed?" Morph asked, which was something that if it were not three o'clock in the morning, Morph would never have asked.
After a moment's pause Logan again replied "No."
Morph sighed. The adrenaline of waking up from a nightmare and having their room being broken into was wearing off and now they just wanted to go back to sleep.
So they grabbed the duvet, sheets and blanket from their bed and carried them over to where Logan was apparently determined to stay on guard all night.
"What're you doin'?" Logan grumbled as Morph arranged the bedsheets around him.
"We are having a sleepover." Morph stated. "And I'm getting the pillow since you broke my other one."
Morph lay down on the duvet they'd placed on the floor, facing away from Logan into their room. The Wolverine still had his claws out but he didn't otherwise complain as Morph threw one of the sheets over the pair of them.
After a long time, long enough for Morph to think they might have made a mistake, Logan growled out a sigh.
"After we heard about Genosha I... I couldn't...I've been patrolling the halls all night-I just... I can't loose anyone else I care about." Logan growled, grief stumbling his words.
Slowly so as not to startle him, Morph sat back up. Logan was still facing away from them, never one to let other's see his weaknesses, but by now they had become experts at reading The Wolverine's behaviour. And they knew from the forceful shivers raking his body that Logan was literally biting back tears.
In that moment Morph would have done anything to help. But without the ability to change reality, there was little they could do. But that didn't mean that there was nothing.
Morph placed their hand on Logan's shoulder, his muscles taunt to the point Morph was worried they might snap. They squeezed their hand, hoping to share their own grief and to shoulder some of it for him.
Morph had never been on this side of loosing an X-men before. A stab of guilt as sharp as The Wolverine's claws buried its way into their stomach, at the thought that their own death could have caused the same amount of pain.
When they had learnt about Gambit's death, the only comparable pain Morph had felt was when they themselves had died. The concept that they would never again share each other's love for cooking or that they would never loose another heavily rigged card game, was impossible to comprehend. They weren't as close to Gambit as they could have been, however, as the only other openly queer person on the team, there had been a special connection between the two of them.
And Morph might not have shared the same history with Magneto that the other's had. The only reason they'd had to hate to him was that he was a generally shitty person who'd done some pretty shitty things. But when Morph had offered to take the team to Sinister's lair, he had been kind to them, making it clear that they did not have to if it brought back too many bad memories. And because of that, they couldn't help but grieve for him too.
And if Logan could finally open up, then it was only fair that Morph did the same.
"I.. I was dreaming... about that night."
They both knew what night Morph was talking about. The one where Morph was about to watch The Wolverine die and they sacrificed themselves to save him. Except in their dream there were too late. They lost him. Just like they lost Magneto. Like they lost Remy.
Because whilst being under Sinister's control was hell on earth, they would suffer through it all again if it meant that Logan was alive to lie beside them.
"I ain't lettin' nothin' get past me." Logan promised, finally turning to them. The grief was still there, it would probably never fully go away, but the pain that had been etched into the grooves of his skin, had been transformed into a steely determination.
"I know." Morph smiled, even after everything, unable to stop the fluttering if their heart at the sight of Logan's protectiveness directed at them. "And I'm not letting anything get past me either."
Feeling emboldened, from where their hand had been placed on Logan's shoulder, Morph traced his collar bone until their hand cupped the back of his neck.
"But even if you don't plan on sleeping, I have it on the trusted authority of my ex-therapist, that just lying down can help. So please, lay down for me." Morph's smile turned into a smirk. "I'll even let you share the pillow."
Logan blinked before shaking his head and snorting a smirk of his own.
"Alright, you win this one bub." He conceded, finally putting his claws away as he allowed Morph to pull him down to the pillow.
Morph reluctantly let go as they turned away from Logan to face the inside of their room, whilst The Wolverine took after his namesake and proceeded to nestle himself a den out of the bedsheets.
Now Morph hadn't really thought about the physics of sharing a pillow when they'd made the offer, as usual too preoccupied with making a joke to think about the consequences of opening their big mouth.
Because Logan's back was now placed firmly against theirs and the thin layer of his uniform was doing little to hide the solid layer muscle or stop the furnace level heat that his body was projecting. And due to his previous shuffling, the bottom of Morph's t-shirt had ridden up so that the sliver of skin between their briefs and their shirt could feel the full heat of Logan's body. It wasn't as if they hadn't touched the other before, But never that part of their body and even though the exposed skin was barely a few inches, Morph felt near naked at the touch.
They had no idea how they were supposed to go to sleep now. But eventually they must have.
Because next time Morph opened their eyes morning sun was beaming through their bedroom windows. At least that was where they assumed the light was coming from, as all they could see was the sleeping face of The Wolverine.
For a moment, Morph thought that they were still dreaming. Until they felt the breeze of Logan's breathe against the expanse of skin where their nose would have been.
As Morph blinked away sleep, they realised that the groves of anger and pain that Morph thought had been permanently etched onto Logan's face were relaxed, not completely gone but as close to peaceful as he could get.
They also realised that Logan's limbs were wrapped around their body like a koala in a tree as though he was afraid that if he didn't hold on tight enough he would fall. As a result Morph's hands, which had been trapped between the two of them, were braced against Logan's chest. Through the soft fabric of his costume, Morph could feel the individual bristles of his hair and under that the beating of his heart.
Perhaps they had died again, except this time they'd ended up in heaven instead of hell. That was the only logical explanation they could think of for why Logan would be holding them so close.
Well if this was their fate then Morph was happy to accept it, not that they were able to escape The Wolverine's grasp even if they wanted to. So with one last lingering look at the soft strokes of Logan's face, Morph drifted back off to sleep.
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theawkwardanglophile · 16 hours
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What are your top 5 Chenford scenes ever?
Ummm, Sarah, this is just cruel! 😂 This was so difficult making a list and then taking so many amazing scenes back off the list to narrow it down. But it was fun, too! I will probably change my mind on these later on, but for now, this is where we're at, in chronological order:
1) Outside Nevin's, erm, Right Start Bakery (2x13): This remains a longstanding fave. Tim turned down a promotion to finish training Lucy. The whole scene has such a flirtatious vibe to it, with those smiles they can't keep off their faces. This scene gave me so many questions, like what did they do next? Did Tim drive her there? So much so I ended up having to write a fic about this scene a few years ago.
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2) At the hospice (4x09): Honestly, it came down between this one and the hospital hug in 6x04, but this is just such a foundational moment for Tim and Lucy. It's the most vulnerable we've ever seen him up to that point. He lets all his walls down in front of Lucy, rather than Genny, or, I don't know, his girlfriend? And their hug is so beautiful. This really cemented how much Tim and Lucy were becoming each other's person.
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3) Their FIRST DANCE (4x18): This is just pure joy, the happiest we'd ever seen Tim, at least until he started actually dating Lucy. There is so much that isn't said verbally in this scene, so much their movements and expressions convey. Like, did they know they were still dating other people? Chris? Ashley? I don't know them. 😂
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4) Their FIRST KISS (4x22): GEEZ, this scene is so, so good. It's so perfectly them. Banter, awkwardness, romance, friendship, and their blindsided reactions after the kiss. How "I opened the door for you" became reality in the next episode?! That kiss gave me so many butterflies. And Tim's "Oh, I don't have anything" as he's leaving will never not be funny to me!
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5) Quality Sexy Time (5x12): Really I could list just about any scene from this episode on here, but the last scene at Lucy's...asdklfsahlkasdf! Tim's "you and I will get to see each other every day" gets me every time. The man who wanted a "personal life free zone" in the shop now can't get enough of her. Lucy being so concerned about Tim being miserable in his new job because she knows him so well. Lucy's insane amount of candles. Tim's little "I know" is honestly one of the hottest things ever. I can't explain it, it just is. And then everything else that follows is incredible. It turns out they are good at other things as well. 😏
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Thank you for the ask, my friend! ☺️☺️
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neil-gaiman · 1 month
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Hello Mr Gaiman. I have read all of your books.
This is not an ask, rather an answer.
I would like to say thank you for saving me. Knowing I will never meet you will not change the way I feel about you or myself.
Love your fiction work. I feel bad for the fact that it’s not fiction to me. It is my life story.
Very sad one. That I am still trying to make sense of today.
I was raised by the other mother. Not really, but I was raised by a bipolar narcissist who hated me and loved me but didn’t know how to do either. She sexually abused me for 12 years.
No one ever believed me. No one.
So I would pretend that I was Coraline and that I was brave. I was. But that was because I knew that the spell had to break at some point.
I am 24 now. She is old and frail but the hell she has made in my mind - I almost never escaped. Until I understood that I truly was stronger.
Because she tried to make me just like her, but I refused. I picked kindness.
If you can’t find a friend, be one. If you can’t find someone you look up to- become someone who others can look up to.
I did. I tried my best. I promise.
I want to tell you the ultimate secret that no one ever could. You probably figured it out a long time ago, but it still makes me feel better to write it here, even if I know that you might never reply or ask me if I am safe, or dismiss me like a crazed fan/abused child who desperately needs help and attention.
I don’t. I would like to be your friend. But I know it is not possible.
So I want you to know I know why they do it.
They do it for the same reason as you wrote books. To not feel alone.
But that is the problem with existing in this world. Evil is nothing but not understanding yourself and hating different people from you.
Ignorance brings hate. How do you justify yourself in a world like this?
Simple.
You change the world by breading more people who believe hate is love, and love is hate. Evil needs justification. Kindness needs non.
I sat alone for 24 years and told no one. The paragraph above was just the start and the ending.
My story is still unfolding. But I wanted to let you know you are no longer sitting alone at your birthday party.
Because the only present I ever got was knowing someone else like me existed.
Someone who could look evil in the eye and stare back.
And never stop talking about it.
Thank you Mr. Gaiman, for writing “View from the Cheap Seats”
When I read it I put it down as well as the razor that I wanted to end my life with.
Because you were my only friend. And you still are.
And I cannot take the injustice anymore. If they won’t read, I will read to them.
I will save them just like you saved me. Making reading cool and easy.
And I will do it for you and me. So that no one else can see the horrors anywhere but in books and movies.
And I will do it one act of kindness and love at a time.
So they will know that injustice is just a state of mind.
Thank you Mr.Gaiman. You gave me hope.
And now I will do the unthinkable. I will try until my dying breath to change their mind.
One step forward into a future where you are not sad and a story like mine is just a horror movie and not a reality.
Because you are my only friend, and I hate to see my friends sad.
Leto
I'm so proud of you, and this made me tear up.
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willgrahamscock · 7 days
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No one prepares you for how crippling grief is, last year my mom died of cancer. I watched her decline so rapidly that my brain couldn't understand who I was looking at by the time she passed. I couldn't understand who I was by the time she passed because I had to become a vessel who makes appointments, dresses, nurses, cooks and an entity who does not sleep. I did it all alone. The reality is that cancer eats away at everything, it lives on even after the patient dies. It ate away at every part of me, I couldn't get out of bed, I had sleep paralysis, I couldn't stop seeing her... like that. They asked me if she's my grandmother when they carried her out of the house. She was in her early 50s. Do you understand? In 3 months, she began to look like she was 80. Everyone wanted me to move on after a month, no one called anymore, not even a text. I thought I was alone when she was alive, but this was a new type of isolation. One that I barely survived. (thank you to my mutuals and tumblr for being an outlet)
It's been a year and 6 months, today I realized she's not the first thing I think of in the morning, or the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. I couldn't even call to do paperwork before, now I'm forgetting why it was even that difficult.
The sun's out, I think i'm going to get ice cream without feeling guilty that it's not something she can do anymore.
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dduane · 29 days
Note
Hi Diane!
I promise this will end in an ask, but I have a story to share first, if you have the time.
I’m very new to Tumblr, in fact, I was moved to finally create an account to send you this message, but I’ve been casually poking around for a bit. A quick google last summer told me that Tumblr is the best place to get Good Omens news from Neil himself, but it didn’t do the courtesy of warning me just how magnetic this particular bastion of chaotic creative internet mayhem can be. This story is one example. Fun note, when I was composing this message my husband looked over my shoulder at the literal essay I’d typed out and suggested that I maybe, perhaps, might consider shortening it to the length of a conversation that could take place in an elevator. Or in line at the coffee shop. However, i’m not one sacrifice enormity for brevity.
Your post the other day regarding the cover for your novel, Stealing the Elf King’s Roses, got me thinking. First, that it was a very genuine thing to share, second, that I wasn’t entirely sure why I wasn’t immediately familiar with your work, and third, what a fun visual challenge. I was still thinking about it when I should have been sleeping, so I decided to dig in. I almost stopped reading your bio at the ‘blah blah blah’ because I was feeling quite bad about my media literacy at that point, but then I saw that you’re well-known for the Young Wizard series.
The Young Wizard series.
I said I’d try to keep it brief and this is my best attempt. I read books 1-5 of that series during the hardest, strangest, most heartbreaking time in my childhood when I desperately needed a different reality than my own. What I found in your novels was so much better than that. Your stories, your characters, your vision, helped teach me to ground myself in my strengths, frame my reality with hope and purpose, and how to build the spaces I needed within myself to find the compassion, forgiveness, joy and peace I so desperately needed. One of the things I built within myself on my healing journey was a beautiful jeweled box. It resides in my mind just off of I-335 in Topeka, Kansas. I was driving through the flint hills on a road trip from Milwaukee to Wichita when I finally finished the long process of constructing it, so that is where it stays, shining in the sun and twinkling under the stars. This box contains everything I experienced that couldn’t come with me as I grew. Crafting it was a lengthy, emotional, wrenching process, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done to allow me to become the person I am today. I used visit it every now and again, to make sure the jewels are still bright, but I’m very careful to not jostle the lid.
I’m recounting all of this to you because two nights ago I quite suddenly found myself standing beside my box for the first time in almost a decade. I could feel the gravel under my slipper socks as I gently opened the lid to see my copies of your books resting at the very top. I wasn’t immediately familiar with your work when I saw your name because it is so inextricable from the very fabric of how healed myself, that I accidentally let your words fall under the closed lid of the very box they helped enable me to make. Nothing else clamored to be released as I carefully pulled them out, and once more closed the lid.
So, the ask. I will be brief here - I’m an artist. Not currently working professionally as I’m exploring a different career path, but I’m usually working on a personal project or two. I needed a new one and was still intrigued by the post that started this all, so to help me process the emotions described above I made a version of a cover for STEKR and wanted to ask if I could share it with you. It looks like I can’t attach here, but I’d love to post it on my new, very empty page. It truly might not be your style, but I once again found solace in a space you opened the door to and this time I have the opportunity to share it!
Also, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
You're so very welcome! And I'm really glad the books were there for you when you needed them. (And plainly are there with you still.) 😊
And absolutely, post that cover! I'll be delighted to see it.
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pucksandpower · 4 months
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Rosso Corsa
Lewis Hamilton x Leclerc!Reader
Summary: Lewis Hamilton has been called the GOAT by many … after he becomes your brother’s new teammate, you learn firsthand that being the greatest of all time extends to quite a few other aspects of his life as well
Warnings: 18+ content
Special thanks to @struggling-with-drivers for being an amazing friend and source of feedback who experienced today’s crazy whirlwind of news with me
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You stand on the balcony of Lewis’ penthouse overlooking the harbor in Monaco, watching the rain pour down. The raindrops beat a steady rhythm on the metal railing as you take a sip of your coffee.
“Good morning, beautiful,” Lewis says as he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. You relax into his embrace, still not used to how affectionate he is with you.
“Morning,” you reply with a small smile. “The rain woke me up early.”
“Hmm, I hope it didn’t disturb you too much,” Lewis murmurs as he nuzzles your neck. You bite your lip to hold back a pleasured sigh.
“I don’t mind it. I’ve always found the sound of rain soothing,” you say.
Lewis hums in response as you both stare out at the stormy sea. The rain is coming down hard now, large droplets splattering on the balcony floor.
“Shall we go inside where it’s warm and dry?” Lewis asks after a few moments.
You nod and let him guide you back into the open living room. The floor-to-ceiling windows provide a stunning view of Monaco even in the gloomy weather.
Lewis busies himself making a fresh cup of tea while you settle on the large sectional sofa, tucking your feet under you. Your mind wanders as you watch the rain streak down the windows.
You’ve been staying with Lewis for almost two weeks now, only a few months after he signed with Ferrari as your brother’s new teammate. You grew up in these very streets with Charles, the two of you extremely close in age and personality. He was your fiercest protector, shielding you from the realities of life in the spotlight.
But now you’re an adult, and Charles can no longer shelter you entirely. Especially not from someone as charming and persuasive as Lewis Hamilton.
You suppress a shiver as you remember the first time you met Lewis while joining your brother in Maranello. His warm brown eyes lingered on you as Charles introduced you. He took your hand and held it a beat too long, his thumb gently caressing your knuckles. A secretive smile played on his lips, sending your heart racing.
Over the next few days, Lewis went out of his way to talk to you, compliment you, make you laugh. Whenever Charles was preoccupied, Lewis found an excuse to steal you away, guiding you by the small of your back or brushing his fingers against yours.
You knew you should keep your distance. Lewis had a reputation, and Charles would be furious if he knew how Lewis was pursuing you. But you couldn’t resist his allure.
So when Lewis invited you to stay with him instead of in your empty apartment while Charles was away, you said yes despite your better judgment. And now here you are, growing more attached to Lewis each day.
You’re drawn out of your reminiscing when Lewis sits down next to you, switching out your rapidly cooling coffee for some earl grey with a splash of oat milk.
“What are you thinking about so seriously over here?” He asks, his tone playful yet gentle. He runs his fingers lightly up and down your arm, raising goosebumps on your skin.
You take a sip of coffee to buy yourself a moment. “Oh, just remembering when we first met,” you say, aiming for nonchalance.
Lewis smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Ah yes, I remember it well. I took one look at you and was completely enthralled.”
You blush and avoid his gaze. “Lewis ...”
“What? It’s true,” he says earnestly. When you shyly meet his eyes, they shine with warmth and affection. “From that very first moment, I wanted to get to know you, protect you ...”
He trails off as he tucks a lock of hair behind your ear, his fingers grazing your cheek. Your breath hitches at his touch.
“Why me?” You whisper.
Lewis shakes his head in amusement. “How could I not be drawn to you? You’re beautiful, charming, intelligent … anyone would be lucky to capture your attention.”
You stare down into your coffee, overwhelmed. No one has ever spoken to you this way before. Looked at you the way Lewis does, like you’re the most captivating person in the world.
“Hey, look at me,” Lewis murmurs. He tips your chin up until your eyes lock with his. “I mean every word. From the moment we met, all I’ve wanted is to get closer to you.”
His thumb strokes your bottom lip as he speaks. You’re helpless to pull away from his intense gaze.
“I know your brother wants to keep you locked away from reality,” Lewis continues seriously. “But you’re an adult now. You can make your own choices.”
His eyes flick down to your lips. Your breath catches in anticipation. Slowly, giving you time to pull back, Lewis leans in.
When his lips meet yours, you let your eyes drift shut. The kiss is soft and undemanding at first, Lewis letting you set the pace. As you respond tentatively, he pulls you closer, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head.
It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Kissing Lewis surrounds you in warmth, makes you feel desired and cherished. You let him deepen the kiss, chasing the delicious sensation.
After long, blissful moments, Lewis gradually slows the kiss. He presses light, sweet pecks to your lips as he pulls back just enough to meet your dazed eyes.
“Wow,” you breathe, eliciting a delighted chuckle from him.
“I’d say so too,” Lewis says, smile crinkling his eyes. He brushes his thumb over your lower lip again. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long now.”
You bite your lip as you study his handsome face. Your heart is racing but you’ve never felt more secure than wrapped in his strong arms. Still, a niggling thought won’t leave you alone.
“Lewis … what about Charles?” You ask uncertainly. “If he finds out ...”
Lewis presses another soft kiss to your forehead. “I know, I know. We’ll have to be careful.” He strokes your hair soothingly. “This can be our secret for now. I don’t want you to worry, love. I’ll take care of you.”
His sincerity and confidence settles your nerves. You nod and cuddle into his broad chest. Lewis’ arms come around you as he drops a kiss to the top of your head.
“Why don’t I make us some breakfast?” He suggests. “We can spend the day inside, just the two of us.”
You smile up at him. “That sounds perfect.”
Lewis smiles and steals one more lingering kiss before heading to the kitchen. You settle back against the plush cushions, heart full.
The rain continues to fall steadily outside. But here, wrapped in Lewis’ affection, you’ve never felt warmer.
***
You pace back and forth in Lewis’ driver’s room, nerves making your heart flutter. The deafening roar of the crowds just outside echoes in your ears.
Lewis did it. He won his first race with Ferrari today. You watched with pride and excitement as he stood on the top step of the podium, rosso corsa vivid against the grey skies as the champagne poured down.
Now you wait for him to finish with the press and the team, bouncing anxiously on the balls of your feet. You smooth your hands down your dress for the tenth time, wondering if you’re making a mistake.
Finally the door opens and Lewis steps inside. His race suit is unzipped to the waist, his sculpted chest straining against his fireproofs underneath. He breaks into a huge grin when he sees you.
“Hello, gorgeous,” he says warmly, striding over to fold you into his arms. “What a lovely surprise.”
You hug him back tightly, relieved laughter bubbling out of you. “I’m so proud of you! Your first win for Ferrari.”
Lewis kisses your temple before holding you at arm’s length, hands gentle on your waist. “Today has been incredible. But coming back to find you here waiting … that’s the best victory of all.”
You blush under the sincerity of his gaze. Reaching up, you run your fingers over the stubble on his jaw. “I wanted to celebrate with you privately first, before the team party.”
Lewis’ eyes darken with desire and he pulls you flush against him. “I can think of a few private celebrations I’d like to have with you,” he murmurs suggestively.
Your breath catches but you place a hand on his chest. “Wait. I have something to tell you first.”
Taking his hand, you lead him over to the small sofa along the wall. Lewis sits and pulls you down next to him, studying you intently.
You take a deep, steadying breath. Your heart is racing for an entirely different reason now.
“Lewis, I … I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you.” You keep your eyes locked on his, willing him to understand the depth of your emotions.
“I know we have to hide this from Charles and the team. But I’m tired of hiding how I feel.” You reach out to cradle his face in your hands. “I’m yours, Lew. In every way. If you want me.”
Lewis’ eyes flare with a mixture of desire and affection. He turns his head to press a fervent kiss to your palm.
“Are you certain, my love? We can wait until you’re ready,” he says seriously, though his body vibrates with pent up longing.
You smile tremulously and nod. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”
Needing no further encouragement, Lewis crushes his mouth to yours. He kisses you deeply, holding nothing back. You moan into his mouth, your hands twisting in his race suit.
When you finally break apart both gasping for air, Lewis rests his forehead against yours. His eyes blaze with arousal but his touch is gentle as he caresses your face.
Lewis lays you down gently on the bed, his body blanketing yours. His hand slips into your hair as he kisses you deeply, with restrained passion.
When he finally breaks the kiss, you’re both breathing hard. Lewis trails hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, nipping lightly at your pulse point in a way that makes you gasp.
“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he rasps, his voice rough with need.
You shake your head, arching into his touch. Your hands grasp at his shoulders, feeling the strength coiled under his shirt.
With deft fingers, Lewis begins unbuttoning your dress, exposing more and more of your flushed skin. He pauses when he reaches your bra, meeting your eyes questioningly. At your tiny nod, he reaches around and unhooks it, sliding the straps down your arms.
You flush as he reveals your bare breasts for the first time. Lewis groans low in his throat, eyes raking over you hungrily. Slowly he lowers his head, watching your face for any hesitation. When you bite your lip and nod for him to continue, he closes his lips around one taut nipple.
You cry out at the sensation, back arching off the bed. Lewis lavishes attention on your breasts, licking, sucking, kissing every inch of the sensitive skin. You’re mindless with pleasure, grasping at him desperately.
After an eternity, Lewis begins trailing hot kisses back down your stomach, hands unzipping your dress the rest of the way. He slides it down your legs tantalizingly slowly, caressing each new bit of exposed skin.
When you’re left in just your panties, Lewis pauses to admire you. “So beautiful,” he murmurs reverently before capturing your lips again.
His hands explore your body with new urgency, stroking along your sides, grasping your hips. You tentatively slide your hands under his shirt, feeling his muscles flex. Lewis groans and sits back just long enough to rip the Nomex over his head.
The feel of his bare chest against yours makes you dizzy with need. You start fumbling with his briefs until Lewis gently stills your hands.
“Slow down, love. We have all night,” he rasps, though his eyes are dark with desire. He kisses you languidly until you relax again, melting into his touch.
Only then does Lewis trail his hand down between your legs. You gasp against his mouth at the intimate caress, even through the fabric of your panties. He rubs you in slow circles until you’re mindless, pleading for more.
With utmost care Lewis slides your panties down your legs. His fingers return to stroke you directly and you cry out, arching into his hand.
“That’s it darling, let go for me,” Lewis coaxes. He watches your face raptly as he brings you higher and higher until you shatter around his fingers with a sharp cry.
As you float back down, Lewis kisses you tenderly. “You are so perfect, my love,” he whispers.
When you’ve caught your breath, Lewis stands just long enough to shed the rest of his clothes. The sight of him bare above you makes you flush anew, but you boldly meet his heated gaze.
Lewis settles between your thighs once more, the evidence of his desire pressing insistently against your core. He braces himself above you on one arm while the other hand caresses your face.
“I’ll go slow, I promise,” he says thickly. You nod, heart pounding in anticipation.
Lewis reaches down to position himself at your entrance. He watches your face intently as he begins to press inside you. Despite his care, you gasp at the burning stretch. Immediately Lewis stills, face taut.
“Keep going,” you plead breathlessly.
Jaw clenched, Lewis pushes forward inexorably slowly until he’s fully seated inside you. He drops his head to your shoulder with a guttural groan.
“Oh god, you feel incredible,” he grits out.
You cling to him, overwhelmed at the new sensations. The fullness, the intimacy of being joined so completely.
Lewis is trembling with the effort to keep still above you. You trail kisses across his shoulder, silently telling him you’re ready.
Tenderly Lewis begins to move, rocking into you with gentle thrusts. The slight ache soon disappears, replaced by waves of pleasure. You wrap your legs around his hips, urging him deeper.
Lewis gradually increases his pace, unable to hold back any longer. His eyes burn into yours as he moves within you.
“I love you,” he gasps out. “Love you so much, Y/N.”
You cry out his name as the pleasure crests and breaks over you. Lewis follows seconds later with a low groan, burying his face in your neck.
You cling together as you float back to earth, hearts thundering in tandem. Lewis trails feather-light kisses over your face as you bask in the afterglow.
“Thank you for trusting me with this gift, my darling,” Lewis eventually murmurs.
You smile up at him radiantly. “I’ll love you forever for this night.”
Lewis’ eyes shine as he draws you impossibly closer. The crowds and thoughts of your brother seem lifetimes away. There is only you and Lewis and the sweet passion between you.
And as your bodies join in intimate unity, you know you made the right choice entrusting yourself completely to this man. For Lewis holds not just your body, but your heart.
***
The morning light filters into the bedroom, rousing you from sleep. You shift under the sheets, pleasantly sore, as memories from the night before come rushing back.
A smile steals over your face as you recall Lewis’ tender passion, the way he whispered his love to you again and again. You’ve never felt closer to another person.
Strong arms tighten around your waist from behind as Lewis nuzzles into your neck. “Good morning, my love,” he rumbles, voice still thick with sleep.
You roll over to face him, heart skipping at his rumpled hair and warm brown eyes. “Morning,” you whisper back, suddenly shy.
Lewis’ hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb stroking over your cheekbone. “How are you feeling?”
You lean into his touch. “Wonderful,” you say honestly. At his delighted grin, you add, “Last night was … incredible. I’ve never felt anything like that before.”
“Mmm, neither have I,” Lewis says seriously. “Making love to you was the greatest gift you could have given me.”
He kisses you sweetly, then trails his lips along your jaw. “I can’t wait to explore more with you,” he murmurs, making you shiver.
Over the next weeks and months, Lewis takes great joy in broadening your horizons in the bedroom. With endless patience he teaches you the intricacies of pleasure, guiding you through new experiences you once only dreamed of. Under his patient guidance, you blossom from an innocent novice to a confident lover.
He delights in watching you come undone under his skillful hands and mouth, praising you for being such an eager student. Your nights together are filled with ecstasy, whispered endearments, and an ever deepening bond.
“That’s it, darling. Just like that,” Lewis groans as you learn to use your mouth on him. He gently guides your rhythm, fingers tangled in your hair. His throaty praise urges you on until he finally spills over with a ragged moan.
Other nights, he focuses solely on you. Lewis maps every inch of your body with lips, tongue and fingers until you’re trembling and oversensitized. Only then does he finally sink into your eager body and take you apart completely.
“So perfect, so responsive,” he rasps in your ear as you claw at his back, his deep thrusts pushing you higher. “You were made for me, love.”
Your muffled cries ring out as ecstasy crashes through you. Lewis follows moments later with a guttural groan, his fingers leaving bruises on your hips.
The end of the British Grand Prix finds you waiting nervously in Lewis’ driver’s room, heart swelling with pride at his victory. When he strides in, sweaty and exhilarated, his entire face lights up to see you there.
He sweeps you into his arms, kissing you passionately. “Another win, my darling. Will you give me my prize now?”
You smile coyly up at him through your lashes. “Happily. I’ve missed you.”
Lewis groans and reclaims your lips. As your kisses grow heated, he murmurs, “You’re the best motivation any driver could ask for. My favorite part of winning has become knowing you’ll be here waiting for me.”
You make quick work of removing each other’s clothes, too impatient for slow seduction. Lewis lays you back on the couch, eyes blazing with desire.
“I love watching you experience new pleasures,” he says thickly. “Let me show you something exquisite today.”
You nod eagerly, ready for whatever he wants to teach you. Lewis trails hot kisses down your body until he’s kneeling before you. He looks up at you with dark eyes.
“Just relax and feel, my love.”
When his mouth descends on you, you cry out in shocked rapture. He wasn’t exaggerating about showing you something exquisite.
After, he gathers you close, pressing kisses to your temple. “Winning used to be my greatest joy,” he confesses softly. “Now, knowing you’ll be waiting to reward me is the only thing that matters.”
You smile and kiss him tenderly. In Lewis’ arms, you’ve discovered passion and intimacy beyond your wildest imaginings.
When asked about his dominance this season during interviews, Lewis just smiles secretively. “I’ve found powerful motivation,” is all he offers.
You watch from the shadows, heart swelling with love and pride for the man who’s brought you such fulfillment. You know that no matter what happens next, you'll never regret giving yourself so completely to Lewis.
***
You stand against a wall, watching Lewis take pictures with his side of the garage after a hard fought victory, unable to keep from smiling.
When he catches your eye, his lips quirk up. The heat in his gaze makes your cheeks flush.
You’re so distracted you don’t notice Charles until he’s right beside you. “Enjoying the celebrations?” He asks with a nudge to your shoulder.
You jump. “Oh! Yes, it’s quite exciting.”
Charles’ sharp eyes sweep between you and Lewis. “Hmm. Well I’m heading out for drinks with the team if you’d like to join.”
You grasp for an excuse. “Oh, um, I’m pretty tired actually …”
“She already has plans with me tonight.”
You freeze at Lewis’ voice over your shoulder. Dread pools in your stomach as you turn to see him watching Charles calmly.
Your brother goes rigid, eyes darting between you and Lewis. “Plans? What plans?” He asks, voice dangerously level.
You open your mouth but nothing comes out. Lewis steps closer, hand coming to rest on your lower back.
“I’m taking your sister out to dinner to celebrate properly,” he says smoothly. His thumb strokes your spine comfortingly.
Charles’ eyes zero in on the intimate touch, nostrils flaring. “Is that so,” he states flatly. His piercing gaze bores into you. “And does this happen often?”
Your mouth is dry as dust. You look helplessly up at Lewis.
He meets Charles’ glare steadily. “Your sister is an adult. Our relationship is no one’s business but our own.”
“Relationship?” Charles’ voice rises sharply. “How long has this-this thing been going on?”
You wince at his accusing tone. “For most of the season,” you whisper. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just-”
Charles holds up a hand, looking ill. “I don’t want to hear it. My own teammate, Y/N? Are you trying to ruin me?”
Indignation flares through you. “For once, this isn’t about you! I lov-” you break off, tears stinging your eyes.
Lewis wraps an arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his side. “That’s enough, Charles,” he says quietly but firmly. “I understand you’re upset, but don’t take it out on your sister.”
Charles’ mouth twists bitterly. “Oh so now you’re going to lecture me about my own family?” He takes a step closer, eyes blazing. “Stay away from my sister, Hamilton, or I swear-”
“Enough!” Your shout echoes through the suddenly silent motorhome. You pull away from Lewis to stand tall, glaring at your brother.
“You don’t get to make demands, Charles. Not about this.” Your voice doesn’t waver even as tears spill down your cheeks.
“I’m in love with Lewis. And he loves me. This is real.” Your tone softens. “I wanted to tell you. But I need you to understand that this is my choice.”
Charles looks stunned, anger fading into hurt. “Y/N …” he reaches for you but you step back, shaking your head.
“I just need some time. Please try to understand.” With that you turn and hurry away, ignoring the tears clouding your vision.
You don’t stop until firm, familiar arms come around you. Lewis tucks you into his chest, stroking your hair as you finally let the tears fall.
“Shh it’s alright, I’ve got you,” he murmurs. He continues holding you until the storm of emotion passes.
Finally you look up at him with red-rimmed eyes. “What do we do now?”
Lewis caresses your cheek gently. "We’ll figure it out together. I meant what I said, I’m not giving you up.”
You manage a watery smile. Whatever comes next, you know you and Lewis can weather it as long as you have each other. Leaning up on your toes, you silence anymore words with a soft, sweet kiss.
It takes a few weeks, but finally Charles seeks you out.
“I’m sorry for how I reacted, petite soeur. It was a shock, but that’s no excuse.” He takes your hands in his. “I just want you to be happy. And if Hamilton — if Lewis — is who you want, then … I can accept that.”
Relief crashes over you. You fling your arms around Charles, tears pricking your eyes again.
“Thank you,” you whisper into his shoulder. “That means everything to me.”
Charles holds you close for a long moment before pulling back to give you a rueful smile. “Just promise me I won’t have to see anything too lovey-dovey between you two.”
You laugh through your tears. “I promise.”
Charles has never been able to resist when you turn your puppy dog eyes on him. And deep down, he wants nothing more than your happiness — even if that’s with his teammate.
2K notes · View notes
ncteez · 3 months
Text
oh no, he's in love? (k.m.g)
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Mingyu knew that sleeping with you was a bad idea, especially when he learns that you’re now dating his son, Chan. He pulls himself back into reality and moves on from the situation, allowing the two of you to end the small fling without suspicion, or rather, he tries.  or the one where your re-established crush and now boyfriend, chan, finds out that his dad knows you better than he does.
― part one here! 
ao3 | m.list | leave feedback and reblog to give mingyu a boner. 
minors do not interact. 
WORDCOUNT― 15.1k
PAIRING― dilf!mingyu x afab reader  | chan x afab reader
CONTENT―  angst, there is no daddy kink nor is there sub/dom dynamics involved with this fic, mingyu is in his 40s, reader is in her 20s. 
SIDE CHARACTERS― chan as mingyu’s son, jihoon as chan’s ride home when ur mad at him
WARNINGS― borderline cheating, alcohol abuse, morally gray choices need to be made, chan disowns mingyu, reader can be lifted and carried by mingyu.
NOTE― *runs away very very fast, so fast that no one can catch me and make me face the trials of what this fic may have done to some of you* not proofread because hahahaha nope. 
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags :: pussy drunk mingyu, reader is almost entirely silent through the smut but you’ll get why, pussy devouring, kitchen counter sex, couch sex, missionary, eye contact, making out, finger fucking, cream pie/unprotected sex
~
You keep running through explanations in your head, more for yourself than anyone else. When you pushed that crush you had on Chan away, it was clearly because you were horny and he wasn’t picking up the hints. The crush never actually died, your interest just skewed to someone who appeared more ready to pleasure you when you needed it the most. The fact that it happened to have been Chan’s dad? Well, we just won’t talk about how that factors into it.
The explanation of an insatiable “horny level” high enough to fuck Mingyu? It manages to calm you down each time you’re actually with Chan. He’s entirely unaware of what happened between you and his father and you’d prefer to keep it that way, which is why you haven’t seen Mingyu in over a month, and why you avoid seeing him any further. 
After that first night with Mingyu, you saw him a few times after and continued your little fling with him until Chan made himself more prominent in your life, more so than he already was. He made his feelings clear, he stepped up, he started hanging out with you one on one rather than consistently inviting you to parties with him. It was easy to fall back into your original mindstate about him especially without the alcohol being involved. Wanting to hold his hand, wanting to kiss him, wanting to touch him. He stepped up and asked you to be his girlfriend about a week after you stopped seeing Mingyu all together. You expected to be asked, in all fairness, so it was the right thing to do. 
Mingyu never texted you nor did he ever call even before you stopped seeing him, he always just responded. You were thankful for that, despite remembering how you laid with him in his bed the last night you spent with him, wondering if that feeling in your stomach was something deeper than arousal. Small secretive hopes that those small words of “I never want to assume, that’s why I don’t text first.” with an even smaller explanation of “It’s not because I don’t want you.” would become something more. 
Still, those budding hopes don’t matter now, as Chan continues to make himself the center of your love life. There is something on your mind that bothers you though. The fact that there could be a future together with Chan and knowing that you can’t avoid Mingyu forever. 
God, you’re so right about that issue too, because of course Chan is happily texting you as the semester comes to an end. Of course he’s setting up dinner with his dad and inviting you to meet him properly for the first time. 
You: chan, i’ve met your dad a billion times
Chan: yeah but not as my girlfriend! 
You: fair but, i’ve already met him lol, i’d rather we just hang out without parents around
Your brain pounds at the idea of pretending you haven’t met Mingyu on levels deeper than you should have. It also pounds at the idea of seeing Mingyu’s reaction to you doing what you’re doing. He must think so lowly of you, to fuck him and still be brave enough to enter into a relationship with his son? You’re sure he already knows you’re dating him, but like, you’d rather not see him see it? 
Chan: babe come on, i wanna do coupley things with you! just pretend you’ve never met him, plus he seemed cool with the idea and even said he can make up my old room if we wanted to sleep over. 
The pit in your stomach grows at the very idea that you’ve never been in Chan’s old room before, but you’d been in Mingyu’s many times. Enough to remember the creak of the boards just at the base of his bedroom door, enough to know where he hangs his jacket outside of the closet, and which side of his bed he tends to sleep on the most. 
Unfortunately, and with a world of reluctance, you know you can’t avoid Mingyu forever. The thought alone that he already knows drives the bubbles in your stomach up to your throat, leaving a bad taste in your mouth as you give in to your boyfriend. Chan, the one you chose, and the one you know you will continue to choose. 
You: alright, alright. what should i wear?
Chan: can you wear that one skirt 
You: NO
~
Now, after a long night of overthinking and trying to come up with an excuse to not see Mingyu again, you’re sitting on your bed wearing the exact skirt Chan wants you to wear, waiting for him to pick you up and drive you to the most awkward situation that could ever happen to you.
You’re really hoping he doesn’t opt to sleep there and expect you to be beside him. Something inside tells you that he’d be able to smell the weakness on you, or the nervousness around his father. After all, Chan is more mindful than you gave him credit for originally. Only having learned this through his never-ending string of apologies of never reciprocating your hints previously. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, he had said, he just wasn’t sure if he was ready at the time. 
That was, until he noted how you kind of backed off. He didn’t want to fumble a girl like you, and so, he leaped further than any man ever had done with you. Mindful, he is. Of himself, of you, hopefully not of anything else though. You’d really rather he not take note of any lingering memories in his childhood home regarding your naked body pressed against whatever surface Mingyu has had you against.
Trying to act like Mingyu hasn’t had you pressed against the washer in the laundry room is harder than you thought it would be. Trying to pretend you haven’t touched him, or kissed him, or made him moan is insanely difficult to do. Those images and sounds were burned into your mind the moment it happened, and even now, when you get intimate with Chan, you find yourself finding the differences between the two. Which is….not good.
For instance, Mingyu is bigger. All around, he loomed and could do absolutely anything he wanted to you, but he was polite and never took advantage of his size or age. He was gentle and kind, even when his deep thrusts hurt. He always kissed you when you winced, always told you to hold onto him, and always thanked you for taking him so well. 
Chan, on the other hand is–a good size of course, not as thick or as long as Mingyu, body stature not nearly as big either but, the sex is hot, messy, clumsy even. 
He’s cheeky and selfish for his pleasure, but so are you, so the dynamic is something that turns you on beyond belief. Having someone so eager to touch you felt amazing. Chan never quite knew where he wanted his lips, tongue, or fingers first and it always feels so good to let him determine that himself. 
 The first time you finally had him between your legs, you could argue that he gave you some of the best head you’d ever had. Until you remembered how Mingyu did it. How desperate someone twice your size and age was for you to get on his face, how ready he was to make you feel good even while neglecting himself. Chan doesn’t do that, he likes to hold you down when you squirm, and he certainly doesn’t allow himself to be neglected for too long.
Both of them fuck so differently, and both of them fuck exactly how you want them to. Or, wanted them to, if you’re talking about Mingyu. It’s just, you only know of the love from Chan and the presumed fantasy of what you think Mingyu’s love would feel like. 
As you sit here, comfortable and pleased with your current sex life, you can’t help but miss the way you were held by Mingyu. His big arms felt so safe, even when you weren’t in any position to feel unsafe. You can’t compare the two, truly, but you still try. Internally wondering which is better despite already making the choice of being Chan’s girlfriend. 
Naturally though, you cannot live your life through sexual hopes and dreams like this when you’ve got Chan right here, giving his all to you. So, you let it rest, even when the thoughts flood your mind. 
The memories and thoughts of Mingyu will die as the days pass, right? As you and Chan establish a good foundation, and eventually fall into something more serious than just a mid-college relationship, right? There’s no harm in remembering fondly until that happens, right?
Right, well. You still have to officially meet Mingyu again, so. 
Even now, as you’re with Chan and pulling into his father’s driveway, your brain finds itself reverting back to how Mingyu used to open the door for you when you were alone. Always that little smirk, always a tight and warm hug before it immediately turned to minty fresh kisses deepening by the second.
When he opens the door this time, he appears to be nothing but a doting father. One who doesn’t have desperate arousal pressing against his jeans when he looks at you. It’s a reminder that he isn’t opening this door for you alone this time. He’s not inviting you in to put those broad hands on your thighs to spread your legs open for him. No, he’s inviting you in for fucking dinner with your boyfriend. His son. 
He doesn’t appear to be bothered though, nor does his eyes linger like they used to. He greets you the same way he greets Chan, only glancing at your hand in his son’s grasp for a moment before offering the two of you a smile.
“It’s about time I got to officially meet her.” Mingyu calls out with a chipper tone, reaching his hand out to you for a hand shake. “Now that you’re seeing me at a decent time, without dragging my insane child to the couch to sleep off his bad decisions, I’m the actual Mingyu.”
You reluctantly reach for his hand to shake it, the warmth of them no longer there from when he used to hold your hips or caress your cheek. They’re cold this time, but his smile is warm. You avoid eye contact, mostly looking straight past him rather than choosing to try and read his features. 
“It’s kind of weird seeing you when the sun is out, Mr. Kim,” You comment, feeling a little bit shy about all of this despite how bold you normally are. “Kind of nice that we are all here to meet without Chan dry heaving against me.”
Mingyu pauses at the name you just called him, accepting it and dipping his head politely at you with a soft and accepting smile.
“Oh yeah, for sure.” Chan laughs, squeezing your hand in his and dragging you inside, forcing you to brush only slightly by Mingyu, who steps back to give you the space. 
On one hand, that comment meant more than you meant it to, but it was also the truth. For one, you should never be calling your boyfriend’s dad by his actual name, and two, even if you never got to experience getting into Mingyu’s bed, still you’d have only met him in the middle of the night after wild college parties. Even those days when you slept over and went home the next morning, the sun was out but it didn’t change the fact that most of your waking hours with Mingyu were spent when the city was blanketed by night. 
The atmosphere feels so awkward in these circumstances and the worst part is that they’re not supposed to. If you had just kept your hands to yourself, if Mingyu was just….not so fucking hot. Even now, as you avoid eye contact with him, you watch the way he steps around the kitchen with confidence as he prepares the last of the dinner. You watch the way his shirt squeezes his biceps and the way his fingers hold a bowl. 
You are stupid to have come here so soon.
Unintentionally you rub your legs together as you watch him, as if your body will react regardless of what your heart tells you to do. Chan is off to the side moving his hand from the table and to your thigh, completely unaware that the movements from you are from unwanted arousal and not nervousness. 
“What’re you being so shy for?” Chan whispers, squeezing your thigh with care, dipping his head down to make eye contact with you. “Like you said, you’ve already met him before.”
He has no idea that the simple touch to your thigh is driving you insane right now, and you can’t even react to it the way you want to because you wouldn’t know if you’d moan the wrong name if you end up being intimate with Chan here. It feels insanely overwhelming just sitting here at the dinner table and the worst part is that it absolutely should not be like this. As if that’s not already well established in your head, 
“I know, but it’s weird pretending like it’s my first time meeting him.” You whisper back, trying to relax your body and keep your eyes on Chan. 
You can’t help but feel like he can see straight through you, despite knowing there is absolutely no way in hell he could. 
“It’ll feel better, don’t worry. I know you’ve only talked to him a few times, but he’s pretty down to earth.”
Chan really thinks you’ve only met Mingyu in passing when dropping him off. God, the guilt is overwhelming as you lean into him, dropping your head on his shoulder and sighing. You can’t even tell if this looks dramatic or awkward, but thankfully, Mingyu appears to be avoiding your eye much like you are for him. 
When dinner is ready and the three of you are sitting together and eating, it does somehow get easier. The way Mingyu plays it off, the way he carries the conversation, the way he says he’s proud of Chan for finding such a nice girl, all of it makes you feel as though he’s decided to move forward. Like he’s genuinely okay with this, like he’s moved on and you were just a notch in his bedpost. 
Which, it’s true, but you can admit that you feel uneasy with the way he no longer looks at you the way he once did.
Which is good, for him at least. You think you’ve moved on too, at least in a logical sense, but you can’t help but feel a little stab in your heart each time Mingyu acts in support of this relationship. Not that you wanted him to fight for you, or to be mad, it’s just that you really thought that maybe the two of you had a little fire starting together. Given, you’re the reason that was snuffed out, who are you to feel even the slightest bit upset that he’s being a supportive father? 
After all, above all, he is the father of your boyfriend, and not just that notch in your bedpost. You have to co-exist with him for as long as you and Chan are together, it’s better that it’s this way.
There’s a relief in the way Mingyu appears to truly not mind. He still looks at you softly when your eyes do meet, but they’re not guilty or apologetic. This is how it’s supposed to be, it’s how it was always supposed to be. 
“So, are you guys sleeping over?” Mingyu asks, grabbing his glass and taking a sip to wash down a bite of his food before looking between the two of you. “Chan, I made up your bedroom and hooked up one of the gaming systems.”
Chan nods with a fond smile before looking at you and tilting his head in question. 
“Are you good to sleep over?” He asks you, hand going back to your thigh under the table and giving you another comforting squeeze. 
You don’t want to, but Chan is still obnoxiously bad at picking up hints, so when you shrug he smiles and nods. 
“Sounds good,” He smiles, looking back at his dad and taking another bite of his food. “This is nice.”
Mingyu hums in response.
“Yeah, it’s about time you brought someone home to meet me, I was starting to think you thought I was lame or something.”
Chan laughs, tipping his chair a bit as he pulls his hand from your thigh and slouches like the college boy he is. 
“You are lame,” Chan jokes in a chuckle. “But really, dad, I just didn’t click with anyone until now.”
Mingyu pauses and then gives Chan another smile and a nod. 
“That’s really good to hear.” He compliments, standing to his feet to take his dishes to the sink.
~
You try not to be too touchy with Chan while you’re here. You’re too hyper aware of what it feels like to be touched in this house and what it does to your mind. Unfortunately, Chan is the perfect type of boyfriend you would have yearned for before all of this happened. 
He’s touchy, he’s clingy, he’s needy. Honestly, he’s all over you after dinner. On the couch he used to drunkenly sleep on, his hand is planted to your thigh, drawing little hearts with his fingertips. His lips are constantly in search of yours when Mingyu sees himself out of the room, usually to grab a drink or to go to the bathroom. 
It’s not that you pull away, but you kind of do. He seems understanding enough, knowing that you likely just feel awkward being all touchy in his dad’s house.
“He’s not even in here,” Chan prods gently, kissing against your neck. “And you look so good today.” 
You both love and hate how into you he can be. It’s something you think you’ll give in to time and time again, but still, you feel like you’re morally at a wall when he does it here. 
Even by the time the two of you make your way to Chan’s old room, you find yourself staring at the door Mingyu has closed behind you several times. His door. You know the layout of his bedroom like the back of your hand, every creak of his floor, every pattern on his window curtains. 
The guilt stays with you the entire time you’re here, and you really just can’t wait to leave. It feels like you’re a prisoner of your own fucking brain at this point, and honestly? You want to go to sleep and not spend another waking moment with your fucking boyfriend within these walls, ever. It’s too overwhelming, too awkward, and in all honesty, kind of painful with the way Mingyu seems entirely unbothered.
You’re trying to be unbothered too, even as Chan lays you down in his old bed and crawls on top of you. 
“If we’re quiet...” He starts, trying to lean down to kiss you, trying to love you the way you usually like it. But he’s quick to take note of your body language, with the way you almost curl in on yourself as he makes his attempt. 
“Hey,” He soothes, rolling off of you and clinging to your side. “It’s okay.” He continues, whispering to you and peppering little kisses against your shoulder. “We don’t have to.”
You nod quietly, turning to face him and looking at him.
“It’s not that I don’t want to.” You say, trying to make him feel less bad about it. “I just don’t think I can physically get turned on in your dad’s house.”
A lie. 
He chuckles at you with a nod. 
“Would you rather not sleep here tonight?” He asks, like, genuinely asks in a way to try and make things more comfortable. 
You nod, feeling a bit bad and like you’re making a big deal about it, even though to him, you’re not. 
“Come on, we can go back to your place.” He says, both of you still very much awake and not entirely ready for bed anyway.
“Won’t he wonder why we’re leaving?” You ask, tilting your head. “I mean, he made up your room and everything.” You nod your head to the gaming system sitting untouched, ready for use. 
“Nah, he’s just nice like that. He won’t mind.”
And, well, Mingyu really didn’t seem to care. Which, arguably, makes you feel stupid for being worried about it at all.
In fact, he barely gave either of you a nod when Chan opened the familiar bedroom door to say goodbye for the night. Both of you waving politely to him with no excuse or reason as to why you’re not staying. 
You’re aware that Mingyu knows why though. Which is probably why he didn’t offer an ounce of care or confusion when the two of you inevitably stood at his door to tell him. 
At the end of the day? This visit was tortuous only because you made it so. In your head, it’s hard to pretend. Fortunately though, Mingyu seems to have no fucking problem forgetting that you’ve ever spent a single moment alone with him. 
You try not to hurt over it.
~
Chan has this effect over you where as long as the two of you are together, he calms you to the point that you almost forget about Mingyu entirely. That is, of course, until you’re actually face to face with Mingyu himself and you have no other choice but to recognize the choices you’ve made. 
Thankfully, there isn’t much of a reason to be around him despite being in a committed relationship with his son, and that only gives you more of a reason to fall back into a comfortable mind state the second you’re out of that all too familiar childhood home of your boyfriend. 
Every single time, without fail and completely without intention, Chan manages to remind you with every kiss and touch that you’re where you’re supposed to be. With him, beside him, under him, just…anywhere with him. It feels so right when your brain isn’t running a mile a minute over the hidden secrets within yourself. 
You can genuinely say that Chan makes you happy. You can even say that you’ve never been happier in a relationship with another person. Never more comfortable, never more safe. So, when the two of you are invited to a semester-end party over at Jihoon’s place just a week later, it’s natural that both of you jump for the opportunity. 
After all, it’s been a while since you last attended a party at all, and Chan has since calmed down as well once the two of you got exclusive. It’s nice, really, without the alcohol flowing and heightened emotions. 
Every conversation from before, up to Chan asking you to be his girlfriend was sobering and pleasant. If anything, having a couple of drinks now that the two of you are falling into a routine together would be a nice change of pace for the night.
The two of you deserve this relaxation together anyway, for sure you do. After how you felt dealing with Mingyu face to face, after a rough semester, after fucking passing your exams, fuck yes you’re going to go to this party and let loose with a boyfriend you’re growing to love so dearly. 
You can tell Chan is excited too by the glint in his eye and that fond smile as he watches you get dressed and ready beside him.
“I won’t drink much so we can go back to my place and cuddle up later?” is what he whispered to you as you pinned your hair out of your face. You were happy to hear him take responsibility for what used to be a somewhat of a drinking problem. 
Unfortunately, his promise of not drinking much became more and more empty as the night went on.
For the first hour, he seemed to stick to his words. Sipping on one single drink up until the end of the hour and he goes for another. Then another, and another, up until he goes off for “one more” only to be lost in the crowd of people wandering around jihoon’s frat house. 
You stand in wait, swaying to the beat with a mere drink and a half sloshing around in your belly as you think to yourself. It’s okay. He’s just letting loose for the first time in weeks and you don’t want to seem like a pushy girlfriend or a mood kill during the middle of a party that you both very much deserve to attend.
You and Chan being in the relationship doesn’t mean neither of you get the freedom to have fun and get absolutely plastered, even if there was a slight promise of doing no such thing. You want him to have fun after the stressful semester. Especially considering how you had to practically force him to study just so he could get his GPA up. 
You want him to not feel guilty for drinking a little too much like he’s done so many times before. If anything, you need to be the supportive girlfriend, letting him lean on you and leave slobbery, wet kisses down your jaw through drunken slurs of love and adoration towards you. 
Are you a bit disappointed? Yes, of course you are. But you also don’t mind going with the flow, so flow you do. Back and forth through the rooms, mingling with Jihoon, Joshua, that one guy, and that other girl. You’re having a great time chatting it up with relaxed and giggly friends, feeling like maybe you could even use another drink or two, up until– oh.
Chan. Right there against the back door with some pretty drunken girl petting on his arm. Giggling, dipping her face, all while he says something to her with the same snicker and smirk he typically gives to you during a date or just before an intimate moment with you.
Suddenly, you remember when you let that fleeting crush on him dwindle as time passed. Sure, partially it was because of Mingyu but there was still another side to it. This side of Chan. When he’s drunk and entirely out of his mind around pretty girls and strong beverages. Always so single looking, always so flirty, never picking up hints.
He never picked up the hint that you liked him, and while he explained that away to you, watching him now makes you feel like all of those words were just to save face. He didn’t pick up the hints then, and he certainly isn’t picking up the hints now as your face falls to that of a frustrated glare. The girl notices, raises her brow at you, and then looks back at your boyfriend. 
Chan barely glances at you but when he does, it’s almost like you didn’t come here with him at all. It’s almost like neither of you ever even started dating in the first place. 
Is this all it takes? A couple of drinks and one pretty girl for him to lose all interest in you? What about you though? Is this all it takes for you to completely lose all interest? 
You’re the only one with a right to lose interest, arguably. 
Considering the way Chan looks at her, the way his hands reach for her. 
There, a girl who isn't you, to be specific. He practically ignores any hint of discomfort from you while simultaneously allowing this girl to cling all over him, run her fingers through his hair, and even so much as sipping from his drink. She glances at you again.
She fucking smirks at you.
You’re dumbfounded, appalled, and overwhelmed with rage within an instant as you stand and watch. Each person who steps in front of you or between you and your boyfriend appear to be entirely invisible as you watch, because you can’t recall a single second where you weren’t seeing the two of them up against that fucking door clear as day. 
It’s like he’s reverted back to every doubt you ever had about him, that safety you had started growing accustomed to being ripped out from under you by some woman who you’re sure he hasn’t even caught the name of yet. 
Does it hurt? Tremendously for the amount of time you’ve been with him. A few weeks shouldn’t hurt this badly to lose. 
And it’s not hard, really, to take what’s yours, or rather to throw away what’s supposed to be yours. It never really has been when it comes down to situations that force you to act on instinct. After all, Chan was the one who got serious with you. He’s the one who asked you to be exclusive. He’s the one who finally jumped in after you’d been dipping your toes in to encourage him for ages. 
And now, he’s going to fucking explain himself. You deserve to know why your boyfriend of just over a month and a half, who was previously your best fucking friend, manages to grow bored with you within the blink of an eye. If Chan can’t handle being in a relationship while alcohol is involved, he’s going to have a big decision to make. Right here. 
Right now. 
You make your way towards them, all while glaring at the woman with her hands in your boyfriend’s hair as she makes her pathetic attempts to dance sexy against him. Chan, on the other hand, is so fucking dazed and in his own world that you can argue you don’t know this man at all.
“Chan.” That’s all you say to have him raising a brow, looking at you as if you’re interrupting something. 
“What’s up babe?” He responds nonchalantly, smiling at you and leaning into the girl. 
You pause, taking a breath as you stare them both down with a grimace.
“Can you leave?” You demand more than ask towards the girl, and she scoffs only for a moment before Chan takes it upon himself to shrug her off of him and shake her away. 
You watch as she rolls her eyes and walks away, and never in your life have you wanted to slap another woman so badly. The worst part is that it isn’t even her fault that this is happening. Chan clearly didn’t tell her that he, you know, has a fucking girlfriend. 
“What the fuck was that?” You dead pan, staring straight at Chan and forcing him out of a state of bliss with your tone. 
“Babe, babe. Relax.” He slurs, smiling and chuckling throughout the words. “Just having fun!” 
You stare at him dumbfounded. Offended. Fucking appalled yet again. 
“Are you joking?” You roll your eyes much like the woman did, crossing your arms and fidgeting on your feet. “If I’d known that you would suddenly become single from getting shitfaced then maybe we wouldn’t have come to the party at all.” 
“Oh, so now you want to control me?” Chan shoots back in another slur of words. “First you force me to study, now you’re trying to make me stop having fun? Such a fucking buzz-kill.” 
You sigh, unsure as to why you thought he wouldn’t be so stubborn. Then again, you know drunk Chan better than you do the sober one.
“I really thought that once we started dating, you’d be more mindful of this. Of us.” You nearly plead now, reaching for his cup only to watch him pull it out of your reach like a child. “You need to stop drinking.”
Chan just stares at you now. You watch him try to adjust his eyes forward, and already you’re aware that he’s seeing two of you. His expression gives you nothing more than a feeling of disgust, knowing well enough that drunk words are more truthful than the sober ones.
“Chan, you’re cheating on me already.” You try to explain the gravity of the situation again. 
“I’m not cheating. I told you, I was just having some fun.” He explains away with a dopey smile, moving his weight to his other leg and blatantly stumbling over nothing as he sways himself back into a shitty-show of drunken balance.
“Yes, because it’s fun to have another woman’s hands all over you when I’m literally right fucking here?”
Only now are you actually shocked by his response. 
All he does is shrug at you with that same smile. One you’d normally want to kiss right off of his face because it’s so cute and endearing. 
But no. Instead, you feel disgust. No hurt, no pain, just…you feel gross. Embarrassed, even.
“This is childish. We’ve barely been dating over a month.” You state as a fact, uncaring if he can process the words at all. “I’m not doing this. We’re done. Have Jihoon take you back to your place.” 
And before he can even fathom saying something back to you, you leave. 
~
It’s a very bad feeling to walk into a party arm in arm with someone you imagine being with for a long time, and then walking out of that same party not three hours later alone, and seemingly broken up. 
You meant what you said though, even if you could practically see your words go through one of his ears and out the other. It’s too early in the relationship to be dealing with that. Arguably, there should never be a time in a relationship actually, where you have to practically force someone out of your boyfriend’s too-welcoming grasp. 
Ah, it’s shameful really. Given that you did your best to be a good girlfriend to him despite what happened with his dad, yet he couldn’t even offer you the decency of at least pretending to love you while drunk? 
You really didn’t pay much mind to his drinking until now. You knew he was a bit of a mess before but most college kids are, you thought. Seeing it first hand and how it can impact your relationship though? Yeah, Chan has a drinking problem and it’s one you’re not willing to work through with him. 
Partially because you’re hurt by what he’s doing and partially because the guilt of everything that happened before you started dating stresses you the fuck out. 
Maybe it’s better that you keep your distance from not only Mingyu, but Chan too. 
And you know, that sounds like such a great idea. You could start over, you could find someone new and slowly get to know them before eventually falling in love, getting married, so on and so forth.
And as you simmer over the frustration, too, too sober, you jump into your car and start driving. Where? You’re not sure. The path you’re going doesn’t lead to home at all, but you continue nonetheless. Paying too-close attention to each stop sign and red light, until–
Well.
Is it really so shocking to find yourself here of all places? 
It’s a quick trip up the steps and the knocks you lend the door are even quicker. 
There’s so much resentment inside of you at this moment when none other than Mingyu creaks the front door open. His son just fucked you over, his son was supposed to be a good boyfriend, his son just threw you away for some girl at a fucking frat party and you want to know why. 
Sure, you should be standing in front of Chan right now to get the answers, but you’re not. You’re here. You’re fucking here, on Mingyu’s front porch, glaring at him much like you’d be glaring at his son.
Mingyu, on the other hand, is shocked to see you at his door by yourself. He reluctantly lets you inside without a word spoken. He sees the expression on your face and can’t help but feel the anxiety in his gut bubble up to his throat. 
There’s tension in the air as he looks at your eyes, noting that they appear to be a bit raw. 
“What happened?” Mingyu asks, standing by the door with a look of concern as you make your way to his kitchen as if you have the right. “Where’s Chan?” He adds in a voice with even more concern. 
To you, as you sigh and look at him when he makes his way into the kitchen behind you, all you can see is that same protective father from the night you and Chan almost slept over. 
“I broke up with him.” You roll your eyes, ignoring how glassy and wet they feel. 
No, you won’t cry over this. 
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” He tilts his head with question, and you know he has more to say about it but you don’t really care to indulge him right now. 
“Did you raise him to be that way?” You ask, looking down and feeling frustrated. “To get bored of a relationship after a few weeks?”
Part of you knows these words include double edged swords. Who else would Chan have learned this from, anyway? With Mingyu and his all-too-caring hands acting like there’s a fucking spark somewhere in the room when you’re with him to Chan doing the exact same thing only to have both of them act as if you moving on isn’t a bother? 
“I most certainly did not teach him that.” Mingyu defends himself with a huskier tone than he’s ever used with you before. “What did he do?” 
“This girl was all over him tonight and when I split it up he got annoyed with me over it.” You sigh, rolling your eyes as you plop down on a bar stool. “Practically told me I was trying to control him, so I broke up with him.”
“Ah,” Mingyu nods, leaning against the counter. “He must have been drinking. I did tell him he needed to slow down on it, but he doesn’t exactly listen to me.”
“He doesn’t listen to fucking anyone.” You throw your arms up, eyes threatening to tear up against your will. 
Not because you’re sad, but for so many reasons aside from that. One, you just broke up with Chan. Two, you ran to fucking Mingyu over it? Three, you miss Mingyu and that’s the obvious reason as to why you’re here but that doesn’t make it right. And, well, four, the fact that he didn’t immediately smile and kiss you upon learning you’re single again is beyond frustrating.
Mingyu really did move on. 
He really did let you cut it off.
There’s a long moment of silence before you hear Mingyu sigh and look at you, studying your face with a tense jaw.
“Well,” He starts, “Is there a reason you came here over this? I don’t know what you want me to say.”
You’re not sure why those words shock you, but they do. In reality, from outside of yourself anyway, you can see how strange it must be that you came running to snitch on Chan. What’s worse is that Mingyu probably thinks you have some sort of ulterior motive behind being here. 
Which, yeah, maybe you did. In your rush of frustrations even you didn’t understand why you ended up here over this. Maybe part of you did want the comfort from him. Maybe you do want him to side with you, and hug you close despite being the one who broke it off. 
Still, Chan did fuck up. 
What part of your breakup should lend you the opportunity to come running back here though? You ghosted Mingyu to date his son. What gives you the right to be sitting in his kitchen right now? What do you expect him to say about all of this? 
“Oh, I’m so sorry babe, let me make it better.” or “I knew he couldn’t treat you the way I can.” 
Ah, fantasies. All of them are fantasies. As much as you’d love for Mingyu to say these things to you, realistically, he wouldn’t. 
He couldn’t. 
And somehow, knowing that and realizing it hurts a little more than breaking up with Chan. It’s proof that Mingyu lost interest in you too. Hell, you’re sure he lost interest the second he learned of you dating Chan. Given that he was suspiciously supportive of it, and that he even seemed happy about it? 
Perhaps he was just happy that whatever you and him had going on was over. Maybe he was relieved that he didn’t have to ghost you himself. 
Maybe you were stupid to involve yourself in any of this. Stupid to so boldly seduce Mingyu, stupid to willingly jump into a relationship with Chan, stupid to somehow believe that Mingyu would care at all about the situation as a whole. 
You guess the two really are alike, and that Mingyu did raise Chan to be cold and uncaring when the mood strikes him. 
“I guess you’re right.” You sigh, sniffling once and wiping your face before shooting up and onto your feet. “I really shouldn’t have come here.” You avoid his eye contact, feeling too many emotions to be willingly seen right now. “and I think I should go home.” 
He looks at you, nodding slowly.
“Yeah, that would be best.”
Stupid. You feel so fucking stupid. 
And as Mingyu watches you turn away from him, he can hear your sniffles. The way your shoulders tense to try and hide that you’re feeling embarrassed and utterly pathetic, he tries not to give in to that emotion. 
Yeah, you guys had sex. He knew it was wrong, but even so, he would still feel a pull in his chest to find his son’s girlfriend crying in his kitchen over something that happened. Whether he slept with you or not, it’s only human to want to comfort someone. 
But he can’t. Given the circumstances, if Mingyu so much as closes distance, he fears that you’ll see it as an invitation. Or perhaps, he will treat it as one himself. Now isn’t the time, and never should it have been time to invite you into his bed the way he did previously. 
He needs to be careful in this situation, regardless of how his heart pulls. 
Never did he want to see you hurting internally like this. 
And so, he tries to leave it alone. He tries to block out the sound of your shuffled footsteps walking away from him, and even harder does he try to block out those silenced sniffles from you. 
You feel so out of it as you make your way to the door. How you got into this situation isn’t too difficult to understand though. It was so easy to fall into it, and goddamn did it feel good at first. Now though? Ah, it hurts. 
Sure, you liked a guy and he turned out to be an asshole. That’s something that has and will happen to you time and time again, but you guess the whole fucking his dad thing makes it a lot worse in your head. 
Even so, you don’t know why you thought you could come to Mingyu for comfort. Like he’d wisp you off your feet and throw his own child under the bus. Your ego needed a check, and goddamn did both of these guys give it to you. 
That’s his son and you’re just…a girl. 
To think you’re really alluring enough to keep Chan from straying his eye…to think you’re enough to get Mingyu to side with you and touch you again? 
So fucking stupid. 
And god, this walk to Mingyu’s front door feels damning. You swear hours pass with each step but you’re sure it’s only been a few seconds. 
You realize that when you step past that front door, it’ll be the last time you’ll ever be in this house. The last time you’ll ever feel the gravel of this driveway under your tires, the last time Mingyu will ever see you walk away from him. 
It wells up inside you when you reach for the doorknob, unable to wait much longer to just move on from all of this. You want to lock it all behind this front door, instead of living with it yourself, forcing Mingyu to do it instead. 
Then, in a sudden twist of fate, you feel your body shiver at a rush of cold air behind you followed by warm arms wrapping you up entirely. 
You feel as if the breath is knocked out of you at the feeling, that cold door knob in your palm radiating with heat now as your hand is pulled away from it. You’re pulled from the door entirely, actually, and a rush of emotions hits you when you feel Mingyu’s broad chest against your back. 
You can’t help it. 
The tears on your cheeks are more from frustration than sadness, and you’re quick to try and wipe the arms that the tears fall against, but he still just holds you there. Strong arms forcing you into a reality that felt so far out of reach just moments before, forcing those warm tears to continue falling out of disbelief now, rather than frustration. 
You’d love to believe that this is just your mind playing tricks on you. Knowing you came here just to see if Mingyu would let you waste another night without Chan and with him. Running on emotions, really. It’s a trait you should probably work on, but really. You do wish it wasn’t real. That these arms around you really are just phantom weight that your heart is conjuring up. 
That the chin dropping to your left shoulder isn’t a man that’s been violating your thoughts time and time again. 
That this isn’t exactly what you want.
“Don’t hate me.” Mingyu whispers against his better judgment. He can’t help it though, the need to think of himself upon watching you touch that fucking doorknob hit him harder than anything else could have just moments ago. 
He never wanted to be in competition with his son, but fuck. He wants to at this point. He knows he can be what you need and he wants to be what you need so badly. Does he understand why? Of course he doesn’t. Something about this is so wrong and he knows exactly why it’s wrong. Does it stop him though? 
It almost did. 
“I don’t want you to leave here hating me.” He continues. 
The whisper against your neck feels so warming, sending goosebumps all over your body but you try to stay where you are. Even with your knees buckling under you, even when he holds you up and tighter against him.��
It’s the first time in several weeks since you’ve felt these arms around you. And fuck, you thought you’d be able to get over how they feel, you really thought that this heavy and overwhelmingly gentle grip would be a thing of the past. After all, it’s all you needed it to be, but here you are, feeling heartbroken over the fact that you kept yourself from this for far too long already.
You feel butterflies in your stomach flutter up to your throat, swallowing around a pathetic whimper of emotional release. 
“Just stay the night.” Mingyu adds after hearing your whimper, somehow holding you impossibly closer. 
You stand frozen, listening to his words and wondering if this is real. You feel too warm to pretend it’s not happening though, and it takes a moment to work up the courage to turn in his grasp. 
You almost forgot what it felt like to not be teased or played with. Chan really was so playful with you, to the point that it almost felt cruel at times. Mingyu though, the way he steps back and gives you the space to simply look at him? Gives you the time and space to contemplate the situation and decide whether or not you want to navigate it at all? 
At this moment, looking at him and his apologetic stare, seemingly feeling sorry that you’re going through what you’re going through while simulationaly wanting you, you can’t help but let the feelings for Chan die once and for all. 
If you’re really about to do this with Mingyu, you can’t do the back-and-forth again. You have to choose, and the choice is so fucking obvious. 
Arguably, it’s always been obvious. 
And as you keep eye contact with Mingyu, you can see something in his head break. That softened look in his eye turning to something….unabashedly crazed. As if to tell you to take the reins before he does it himself. It serves as a pleasant reminder that you’re not the only one weak when it comes to being alone together. 
You’re not the only one with guilt, temptation, and lack-of-care for morals when the two of you are together. 
You’re not alone in this. 
Mingyu is falling just as quickly as you are. 
Tumbling, spinning, fucking rolling in the idea that this doesn’t have to end. 
Honestly, with the matching gaze, Mingyu almost wishes you would walk away from this. From him. He almost wishes you could be smarter than he is in this situation. Wishes you were stronger than him and stronger than this. 
But he’s thankful that you’re not, because having the ability to watch you blink up at him like this again is flooring. In fact, he’s spent countless nights trying to push this very image out of his head due to respect for his son. 
Where is that respect now? 
Nowhere within him, and god is he thankful for it. Why should he have respect for a relationship that’s no longer there? Why should he continue to deny, deny, deny? 
He’s not in denial anymore, not with those pretty eyes looking at him like this. Not with those lips parting for each hopeful breath. Not with those hands gripping onto him for dear life, hoping for nothing more than a hug but knowing there’s so much more behind said hug. 
God, he’s melting again. For you, he’s fucking melting. 
“You need to tell me to stop, right now,” He says in a hopeless whisper, as if someone else can hear him. “Because I’m tired of pretending I have self control around you.”
And you react to those words with another pretty blink and a short shake to your head. Solidifying that he isn’t alone in the need, that he isn’t insane to want this, that he isn’t hated by you. 
It doesn’t take much, really, for him to take a step backwards. He can feel you walk with him, so he continues, walking back, back, back. Your body instinctively follows him, and you think you would follow him to the ends of the earth if you could. 
Back. Back. Back. Until the two of you are in the kitchen again, and his back hits the kitchen counter, sending a roll of paper towels to topple over and fall onto the floor. Neither of you pay attention to it, and instead hold each other in wait. 
When he drops his hands slightly, loosening his grip around your waist, he breathes out once before licking his bottom lip and fixing his gaze on your lips. 
To think either of you have self control at this moment is insane. He knows it, you know it, and god fucking damn, the entire universe would know it if they could so much as feel the electricity in this room. 
A single blink more up at him leaves him nearly breathless. No more waiting, no more offering space for if you want to pull away. No more outs. He swoops down and lands his lips on yours like he never stopped before. Like it’s natural, like this is where his lips are supposed to be. 
And all he can think of at this moment is hoping you never tell him to stop. Hoping that you’re both lost in this situation enough to experience something together just once more, if that’s all it can be. Even if this is all the two of you can be, he wants it. For as long as he can have it, he fucking wants it. 
You feel that want through his harsh kisses. Like he’s trying to swallow you up, so intimate with it, so into it. Pouring his whole soul into the way he moves his tongue against yours, the experience behind the way he breathes as he kisses is just as flooring as it always has been. Even now, you don’t compare it to the way Chan kissed you. Mingyu became the standard for everything in your head before, and it was silly for you to ever think someone else could take over that role. There is no comparing Mingyu to anyone else.
Silly, silly fucking thoughts. Logical thinking be damned, Mingyu was the logical choice all along. Morality bringing him down to a fucking notch in your bedpost? An insult. There’s something here, and to ever think that the two of you “just fucked” is so demeaning and belittling. 
You knew there was something there. And now, he’s proving it after spending too much time pretending that he couldn’t. 
You feel him move you, pushing forward, deepening the kiss and still managing to spin both of you around so that he’s pinning you against the counter now. 
“Missed the way you held onto me,” he says breathlessly, lifting your leg and holding it against his waist. “Missed the way you look at me.” He adds, more mindlessly than he has ever been, seemingly lost in the moment with you. “The way you just came into my bedroom and– fuck, i think about it so much.” 
No words have ever hit your heart so hard before. As if all this time he was pretending to be okay with your relationship. As if he did care, probably too much. 
As if he truly did miss you. 
And he proves it with every breath, grasp, kiss, and movement. It’s like he doesn’t have enough time in the world actually, to have you up against him like this. He almost rushes himself with it, pressing you more against the counter than against himself now. 
It only takes a few seconds for him to hoist you up on the counter and shrink down himself. Now he’s the one blinking up at you with fond concern on his face, fingers tugging at your shorts to imply he needs them fucking gone ten minutes ago. 
Your breath hitches for what you think could be the millionth time since you got here, but you lend him a little lift to get your shorts and panties off in one go. 
“Ahh,” He coos after tossing your clothing to the side mindlessly, both hands gripping your legs and spreading them wide as he stands back up to his full height and fits himself against you again. “Still so pretty,” He continues his string of compliments to you, dipping his head down just to get another taste of your lips on him.
His mind is entirely unsure of what to do first now that your bottoms are off, really. He’s spinning for you, and his hands search and grip all over you at the very idea that you’re propped up on his kitchen counter right now. 
The same counter he used to cook dinner for you and his son. 
Like a fucking dream.
And you can feel how hard he is when he presses against you more and more. His kiss so deep, his hips against you and reminding you of everything he’s made you feel before. Already you feel like you’re flying, but you know better than anyone that he has all the ability in the world to make you feel as if you’re fucking soaring. 
“Mingyu–” You choke out between kisses, trying to get a word in. “Let me.”
And just like the first time he ever felt your hands on him, he feels the way your palm slides down and cups his length to its best ability. His eyes go blank, the feeling so familiar and good to him that all he can do is throw his head back with a breathy chuckle. 
“Fuck, missed you.” He states as if it’s final, pressing his hips more and more against your palm as he dips right back down to kiss you even harder than before. “You have no idea.”
And then it’s like a spiral of messy, wet kisses, and his hips going from needy thrusts against your weak hand to suddenly having your hands gripping the edge of the counter as he sinks down and just…
“God,” You gasp at the first feeling of his warm tongue. “Mingyu…” 
He’s not tasting, he’s devouring. 
And he doesn’t respond, instead, he flutters his eyes shut and breathes deeply through his nose so that he never needs to pull his tongue out of you again. 
It’s like he can’t get enough of it. Never has he missed the taste of a woman on him like this, so wet and pretty when he’s licking. More and more dripping out of you just for him to swallow up and daydream about later. 
His tongue has a mind of its own at this moment when he flicks and sucks every part of you he can reach. Your clit only abandoned momentarily so he can lick deep into you before trailing back up with a deep and heavenly sigh of relief. 
His hands remain at your thighs, gripping you so tightly that you can tell he’s afraid you may dissolve in front of him. That all of this is just some wet dream that he’ll wake up from just before his own release. 
But no, you’re here. In the flesh, feeling this grip and feeling that feverish tongue greedily eat you from the inside out. Both of you are seemingly overwhelmed with the fact that it’s happening again. Or rather, finally you’re together again. 
And you can’t help it when your fingers find purchase in his hair, moaning out and echoing his name against his kitchen walls. He moans alongside you, feeling those gentle fingers scratch against his scalp in such a sweet and pleasurable way. 
If he could show you how much he needs this, he would. But this is all he can do for you to prove it, and he hopes that it’s enough. 
It isn’t long before he’s losing composure, flicking his tongue so fast against your clit that you can’t help but overpower his grip and close your legs around his head. He chuckles against your clit at that, keeping up with the assault of his tongue, listening to the way you pant above him, feeling you pull his hair, all while your legs unintentionally choke him out.
Fuck, it’s too good. You’re too good.
So, he continues and laps away like his life depends on it up until you practically lift from the counter, using your legs around his shoulders as your only form of balance when you press so hard against his tongue that all he can do is press back.
He has no breath at this moment, sucking your clit so hard into his mouth that his cock, quite literally, nearly explodes in his pants right then and there at the sheer desperation you share with him at this moment. 
And then your legs instantly loosen and you fall limp against the counter, your cum pouring out of you with each clench and shake of your body. It takes everything in him to pull his tongue away, but fuck, he needs to swallow those pretty, whined little sounds you’re giving to him. 
Quickly, he slides two fingers into you, fucking them in hard just to feel the clench of you through your orgasm, and his lips are immediately sucking your bottom lip between his teeth. 
Your mouth is slack as he tastes each sound, out of breath himself as he tries to lend all of his power behind his fingers, pulling more sounds from you before sinking them in one last time and leaving them there as he kisses the last of your orgasm out of you. 
“Shh,” He shushes you when he uses his other arm to pull you closer to him, which only forces his fingers deeper into you. “Baby, shh.” He continues to soothe you through it, still kissing, still feeling your slick gush around his fingers. “You’re shaking.” 
That little chuckle he lets out when he says those words brings you back to reality, the body-shocks of your orgasm finally subsiding just to tune in to the lack of guilt he feels. In fact, he seems proud. 
And he fucking should feel proud.
“Fuck,” You breathe against his lips, wiggling your hips and only then feeling embarrassed by the pool of wet you’re sitting in. “Mingyu, fuck.” 
He finally pulls back, keeping his fingers in you still, and tilts his head at you. 
“Mm,” He hums, nodding to himself. “Did you forget?” 
You blink at him in a daze, clenching his fingers unintentionally and wincing at the jolt of pleasure the pads of his fingers offer to your g-spot. You find yourself shaking your head, despite not knowing what the fuck either of you are saying right now. 
“Forget how much I love using my mouth on you?” He whispers it in such a filthy and deep whisper that almost instantly you’re clenching your legs around his hand. And he only chuckles again.
“Come here–” He says this time, pulling you from the counter and quickly holding you up on shaky legs. “Hold on to me, sweetheart.”
Ah, memories rush to your mind. He’s said that to you before only this time there’s more behind it. You cling to him easily even as he dips his hand down and leaves no room for question when he skews his sweatpants down. 
“Leg,” He whispers now, wrapping an arm around you and tapping the bottom of your right thigh. “Up.” 
And you listen to his directions in a daze, lifting one leg and wrapping it around his waist as he uses a strong hand to hold you up. Both of your arms shoot around his neck when you feel it, the tip of his cock being tapped against your still sensitive clit. 
“You okay?” He asks one last time, holding you so close to him that he truly can’t help but buck forward before you lend him any sort of answer. 
Your head falls against his shoulder with a frantic nod, and his body moves on its own as a response. He immediately presses his hips forward and up while simultaneously sitting you right back into your mess from before. There, you fall back against both of your palms and wrap both of your legs around his waist when you feel the stretch. 
It’s so strange to know this familiar feeling of him sinking into you, and somehow you think you love it more now than you ever did before. 
He’s quick to lean over you with a slack jaw and low rumble of a moan, one arm wrapping around your waist to scoot you forward on him when he starts to move his hips. 
Slowly at first. Just feeling you again. 
His mouth remains slack, throat drying out at all of the sounds he wants to give you. God, you’re so wet for him always. The fit is so good. The way your pussy grips him with each drag out, only to pulse around him with each push in. 
“You always take it so well–” He chokes out with another low moan, snapping his hips forward to quicken his pace. “Fuck, don’t ever–” He stumbles over his words, trying to hold them back but unintentionally saying more and more with each moaned out breath. “Don’t leave like that again.”
The words hit you harder than anything else right now. Even as he plunges his cock in and out of you so deep, it pulls nothing more than a whimper out of you with a quick shake of your head. You shoot up, arms wrapping around his shoulders, fingers buried into his hair. 
Instantly you cry. Like you needed to hear Mingyu do more than just ask or plead. You need him to tell you what he wants. You need a threat. A demand. 
“That’s it baby,” He smiles against your ear, pressing in deep and flexing his cock to stretch your walls out around him. “Hold onto me.”
And you do. You hold him as tightly as you can, feeling him and only him at this moment. 
He only moves faster after that, fucking into you with more force than you ever remember him doing before. He presses into you so hard, and pulls out even faster, only to press back in harder, and harder, and harder. 
Over and over again until you’re practically yelping through each thrust. Until he’s releasing small, animalistic grunts. 
Until he can’t do it anymore. This position, in this room? It’s not enough. 
He lifts you easily, loving the way you cling to him like a goddamn koala, keeping his cock buried into you as he walks you quickly to his couch. You land against the soft cushions in a mess of movements, and his hardened chest lands against you just a moment later. 
As if he never stopped, he’s right back to dragging his hips back and forth, this time with more comfort, and his lips immediately fall to your neck. 
His hands? Right up your shirt, groping, pinching, pushing, pulling. 
He’s going absolutely insane, spiraling into a world of nothingness with you as he plunges into you like his life depends on it. Grunting and breathing you in and out, feeling his own weeping cock yearn to be deeper, deeper, fucking deeper in you.
You can’t even think straight, unable to remember if he’s ever been with you like this before. Your mind is so foggy, so in love with the man on you right now that you don’t really even care. 
People always say that actions speak louder than words. Never once did you imagine that a person could move this way with you and speak so loudly with skin alone.
Never have you felt so wanted.
Never have you been so needed. 
And he doesn’t stop. His hips keep pace with each moan against you, his hands search and find, only to search again and grip you so tightly that you fear he will leave swollen imprints. 
You don’t mind. In fact, you want nothing more than to have Mingyu lose himself with you. Still, you can’t muster up any coherent words for him right now, because every sound you make is broken and dripping with the need for more of him. 
Forever more, nothing less. 
“God,”  He breathes out when he looks down at you, hips still moving at a painful pace. “When you look at me like that–”
His eyes roll back for a moment mid sentence before he’s heaving in a breath and his hips slow to a long and languid drag.
“When you look at me like this, it’s so hard to not–” He holds his words back with a shameful chuckle, shutting himself up with a kiss to your lips as he furrows his brows and puts his focus back into his deep thrusts. 
His words run circles in your head though, finishing his sentence for him in so many blissful ways that you feel your body tense at the pure excitement. Feeling his hips spread your legs with each thrust, making you feel sore all over, all of it, excitement.
“Hard not to, what?” You manage to breathe out against his lips, and his hips stutter at the way your voice breaks with each press into you. 
“Don’t.” He nearly pleads, pulling his hands from you and instead using them to rest at both sides of your head, balancing all of his weight there as he drops his forehead to yours. “Don’t encourage me right now.” 
You blink your eyes at him when he lifts his head again, feeling the way he slows his hips to a stop only to hold himself in place, throbbing inside of you. His eyes remain on yours, as if he wants you to challenge every word he says to you right now. 
“Hard not to–” You breathe out, feeling him snap his hips as if to warn you. “What? Mingyu.” 
He stares into your eyes, sucking his bottom lip in as he tries to remain composed. You only clench tighter around him though, causing a sort of sobbed groan to leave his throat this time.
“Tell me.” You whisper this time, clenching around him again and shifting your own hips to fuck yourself on him. 
His eyes squeeze shut as he drops his forehead against yours once more, chuckling out another moan at how impossible you are to him. 
“It’s hard to think I don’t want this.” He admits in a shaky breath, feeling the way you slide his cock in and out of you with pleasurable ease. “You.” He continues. “Hard to believe I’d ever be satisfied with you doing this with anyone other than–” 
You pause, clenching unintentionally only to feel him take over again, dangerously close to his own orgasm. 
“Me.” He finally says, cutting you off from responding by lifting from you entirely, angling his hips, and fucking dragging his hips back and forth just to send pointed japs against your g-spot. 
After being so…protective? Or possessive, maybe? He can’t help but feel embarrassed by his intense need to have you. Not just now, no. Not just because he’s horny out of his mind for you, but because he’s already felt the frustration of not having you while you stood in front of him. 
With your hand wrapped with his son’s. 
Never again. 
He wants this more than you know, more than he should ever admit to you.
“Mingyu–” You try to get out, but he throws a hand forward, more forceful than he’s ever been when he slips two fingers into your mouth just to keep you from enticing more truth from him. 
The way you suck in those fingers with a moan is enough to drive him over the edge, but he tries to hold off. 
He really tries. 
But he can’t, as he falls forward with his fingers loosely hanging from your still licking mouth, and there, he empties himself entirely into you. 
“Fuck–” He groans in frustration, his body jolting with each pulse. “You’re so–” 
You can feel each pulse and push of his thick ropes of cum, shooting inside of you only to squelch out with each little push his hips offer. And his face, nuzzled so close against your neck now that you can feel the way his breath stutters with each wave of the orgasm. 
All the way until he manages to lift with dizzy eyes, pulling his hips back to leave you empty as his cum drips out and onto the couch. 
There, he stares down at what he’s done to you before panic washes over him. 
It’s too late to go back now.
“You’re so–”
Silence, as every thought leaves his mind when he looks at you. How could he have ever formed words in the first place when you look up at him like this? 
Like he’s the whole world. 
~
The next morning, you sleep deeply next to Mingyu in the bed you missed so much. With the scent of him surrounding you and the weight of his arm thrown over you. His big and heavy limbs holding you close even in his deep sleep is enough to keep you locked into your own restful sleep. 
You feel so safe, so warm, so comfortable. Like this is where you belong. 
Nothing inside of you pulls with anxiety at this. In fact, you’re entirely too happy over the fact that you found yourself here the night before. Who cares about the circumstances anyway? 
And as you lay there, half-asleep to roll over and nuzzle your nose against his neck, you breathe in deeply, lulling yourself back to sleep in his warmth.
That is, until you hear a ‘click’ of his doorknob turning and instantly you feel your full heart shrivel to almost dust. 
“You’re fucking joking.” 
Oh my god. The fear of opening your eyes is intense but you know that voice like the back of your hand. Your eyes open against your own will and your body turns over to see Chan, standing right there at the door with a murderous glare directed at you. 
You wish it took you longer to process his figure, because honestly, you were feeling so warm in Mingyu’s grip, but now Mingyu, himself, is aggressively pulling himself away from you and rolling out of the bed. 
He’s standing to his feet instantly as if he wasn’t just attached to you at the fucking cock. On the plus side, at least, he put on sweatpants before the two of you fell asleep together. Unfortunately, he also put one of his shirts on you to sleep in too. 
What Chan is seeing in front of him is nothing that either of you can explain away. 
“You’re fucking my dad.” Chan deadpans with a bite in his voice, standing there as he heaves in a breath that seems to get more and more angry as the seconds pass.
“We broke up.” You manage to mutter out, unaware of how to handle a situation like this but knowing deep down that if you continue to see Mingyu, he still would have found out eventually. “You cheated on me, remember?”
Chan rolls his eyes at you.
“Yeah, yeah.” He waves you off just to adjust his eyes over to Mingyu, his father.
Mingyu, towering on the other side of his bed, looks apologetic. He’s unable to explain himself because what Chan is seeing right now is really the only explanation he needs. 
“You’re fucking my girlfriend?”
“We broke up!” You cut in again as you repeat yourself with a louder voice, standing from the bed and attempting to walk up to him. Mostly to try and avert his eyes from his father.
The way his eyes look straight past you and at Mingyu is terrifying enough to have you stumble back once you get too close though. It’s like Chan is seeing red, and arguably he has every right considering if anyone should be scolded, it’s definitely you. 
“Chan,” Mingyu tries to soothe the conversation as he finally processes what is happening, his voice coming out calm and collected. Not wanting this to escalate, in fact, dead set on making damn sure that it doesn’t escalate.
Another harsh shake of his head, another roll of his eyes, and then he’s fixing his gaze back on you. 
“You looked pretty comfortable, how long?”
You look to the floor, then turn to look at Mingyu. Both of you look entirely guilty, surely, but there’s something in you that feels proud. Maybe even relieved that it’s out in the open. After all, like you’ve already said twice, you broke up with him. And for good reason, mind you. 
“Why does that matter?” You answer with a bite to your tone now, essentially answering his question. 
“You cheated on me?” His voice raises, “With my dad, and still have the audacity to be upset with me over some girl at a party?!” 
“No.” Mingyu speaks up. “We stopped. Last night was the first time since–”
“Am I supposed to appreciate that?!” Chan laughs out of dumbfounded rage, stumbling back and out of the doorway with a shake to his head. As if his eyes have to be deceiving him. “What do you mean ‘we stopped.’ ?!” 
Chan feels overwhelmed. Like, he knew he fucked up with the way he acted, and really, he does care about you but what in the fuck? This is what he gets for trying to fix it? For coming to his dad first thing in the goddamn morning for advice? This is really what he gets? To see you, all cuddled in and smiling with that stupid fucking pretty face, in his own father’s t-shirt? 
Fuck that. 
He immediately turns on his heel and stomps towards the front door.
“Chan, hold on!” You call out, gripping his jacket to keep him from leaving. “I was the one who came onto him! Mingyu didn’t even–” 
“Mingyu.” He repeats the way you say his father’s name when he turns to face you, disgusted by how naturally it came from your lips. “What else do you call him?” 
You stand there in awe, looking even more guilty. You remember how Mingyu told you just to call him by his name, and so that’s all you ever called him. Never any pet names like what Chan is implying.
“Did you whine and cry for it like you always do for me?”  He seethes out, inching his face closer and closer to yours. “Was it worth every second?” 
“That’s enough,” Mingyu starts, walking up between the two of you and pulling your hand off of his son’s jacket. “Chan, that’s enough.”
Chan watches how gentle Mingyu is with your hand, eyeing how you let go the instant his fingertips touch your skin. His mind is fucking spinning in betrayal right now. 
“We need to calm down before we talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Chan barks back, nearly spitting in his father’s face at the way he acts like he’s not the one guilty. “You’ve been fucking my girlfiend.”
And oh, poor fucking Jihoon, standing off to the side with his mouth permanently open in shock. Honestly, Chan was anxious before coming here, questioning Jihoon over and over again on how to explain himself and fix what he fucked up. The last thing he expected was to see none other than Chan’s girlfriend rushing out of Mingyu’s room without pants on, fucking glowing with that after-sex dew.
Oh god. This sucks.
“Chan!” Mingyu raises his voice this time, grabbing his son by both shoulders and forcing him to look at him. 
And when Mingyu goes to try and explain himself, there’s nothing he can say. He simply looks at his son as his stoic face turns to that of realization. 
All Chan can do is laugh at the audacity before shrugging Mingyu’s hands off of him and glaring at you once more. 
“To think I wanted to fix things.” He breathes out, grimacing at you before shoving past you and going straight for the door. 
Chan knew he fucked up with you, but it’s not like he slept with the girl. Sure, he was in the wrong to flirt, and to let her be all over him like that, but he’s not the one who went off and fucked someone last night. The fact that you could have broken up with him and fucked literally anyone else is flooring to him. He would have forgiven you if you had it in your heart to forgive him first. 
But this? You not only went for his dad, but it hurts more knowing that his own father reciprocated?! More than once, apparently? 
You’re both guilty. 
You’re both disgusting. 
And with that, Chan slams the front door behind him and Jihoon is left staring at the shaking walls before turning to look between you and Mingyu.
Only then do you notice Jihoon there, widened eyes and a big gulp of air. 
“Fuck.” You groan, feeling dizzy and nearly falling to the floor right then and there. 
Jihoon is quick to see himself out of this awkward situation, and it’s not long before you hear the car peel out of the driveway and down the street. 
Fortunately, Mingyu is quick to come up behind you, hugging you as if everything that just happened wouldn’t stop him from touching you again. 
Or maybe you’re just too hopeful, because within an instant, his once warm hands feel cold and shaky against you. This hold on you feels…different.
Like it’s out of obligation, not out of want, or need. 
Instantly, you’re expecting him to end this right now. To end all of this with you, and it hurts more to think about how he should do that. You wouldn’t blame him, hell, no one would fucking blame him if that’s what this hug you’re getting from him is telling you. 
It hurts. Of course it hurts. The inevitable of what any rational person would do in this situation bubbling up as a mass of anxiety in your throat. You can only remain quiet, feeling the soreness take hold on your heart. 
Despite Chan being rightfully upset, despite what you’ve done, despite what Mingyu has done, you’re upset over it all simply because you can’t realistically be with Mingyu at the end of the day. No, not without ruining his life. 
Not without both of you losing Chan, and to even expect him to do that in the first place should have been your first red flag regarding yourself. 
You played them both, unintentionally, but with the best intentions at the end of the day. 
And when you feel him hold you closer, that soreness inside of you settles just a bit. All he has to do is drop his chin to your shoulder and talk against your neck with a shaking breath. 
“He’s not going to forgive either of us if we continue.” He whispers in a voice that seems both broken and firm at the same time. And he nuzzles his nose against your neck, inhaling deep before releasing a drawn out sigh with a tighter hold on you. “I understand if you want to be with my son, but I won’t be able to pretend I’m happy for either of you from this point forward.” 
You pause, feeling the anxiety well up and jumble in your head. 
“Is this an ultimatum?” You shake yourself from his grasp, feeling overwhelmed, guilty, happy that he’s suggesting that maybe, just maybe, he’d fight to keep you for himself. 
But no. Instead, Mingyu stands tall, no longer shrinking himself to your size and glancing at you with a slow and stubborn shake of his head. Now, he’s unable to keep his eye trained on you, the weight and shame of what the two of you are doing is pushing him down, down, down.
“It’s wrong.” He explains as if you don’t know. The reality is that you do know, you just prefer not to listen. You prefer not to learn from this. “I can’t just pick you over my own son.” 
You try to step forward to try and keep him from speaking. You’d do anything to keep him from speaking right now, but he isn’t budging. He doesn’t break like he usually does when you’re this close, in fact, he takes a step back and away from you. 
You feel your heart hit the floor at that moment. 
“So, it’s not an ultimatum.” Your voice cracks. “I just lost both of you.” 
Mingyu can only nod, trying to ignore that crack in your voice and the tenseness in your shoulders. 
“Which, somehow, doesn’t shock me.” You lend a pained laugh at the situation alongside a sniffle. 
“Realistically.” Mingyu finally responds, his own voice wavering just for a moment. “I shouldn’t have given in, and I shouldn’t have led you on either. We both knew it couldn’t work.” 
Why do you feel blamed for this?
“And at this point, I can’t give approval of you pursuing my son either. There’s too much between us that has happened, I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing you again.” 
“But what about everything from last ni-” You start, reaching forward and trying to grasp him, unaware that you’re about to start pleading.
“Don’t.” Mingyu’s voice wavers again when he says it, pulling away from you for what he hates for the last time. “Let’s just leave it.”
And with that, you’re left with no choice. 
You leave, realizing that Chan probably knew from the moment he pulled in considering your car sits in the driveway proudly. 
There’s nothing left here for you. 
~
Days turn to weeks, and weeks turn to months with no contact from Chan nor Mingyu. Which, that much is expected but you were still hopeful for a few weeks there. 
Not even that you want Chan based on everything that’s happened, more so that you feel like he deserves the deepest apology you could possibly offer to another person. It appears he doesn’t want nor does he need it. Every text is met with the reminder that you’re blocked. 
In time, you try to move on too. Each day is becoming easier and easier to forget how you felt, which is insane considering how deep you thought it was originally. There’s still love there, somewhere, but you’re well aware now that there’s nowhere to put it, and there is no one who wants it either. 
So, you just…exist with it until it dwindles deep enough inside of you that laughing and meeting new people becomes easy. 
Chan, on the other hand, is moving away. Thanks to Jihoon and his pre-planned transfer for the next semester, Chan was quick to jump on the plan with him and try his damndest to get a transfer in too. 
It worked out, and he left the city with his best friend in tow without so much as telling you, better yet his father. 
In fact, he doesn’t want a damned thing to do with either of you, and feels no pain or interest in thinking about what happened any longer than he already did. Months passed differently for him. They passed happily. 
And, well, that leaves Mingyu with his internal fight for his son’s forgiveness after all this time passed. 
Not a day has gone by where Mingyu wasn’t fighting with himself on whether to get on his knees and fucking beg Chan to talk to him, or to give in, again and again, just to see you. Just to feel you. Just to hear you. 
He’s going fucking insane, actually. Thankfully though, after months worth of attempts to gain forgiveness, Chan made himself very clear that he never wanted to speak to Mingyu again. Well, that leaves little to no room for Mingyu to keep trying. At least not for now. 
He is forever thankful to Jihoon though, despite knowing what he’s done to Chan, Jihoon still sends him update texts. 
“Chan has a new girlfriend,”  Mingyu found out just last month about that. 
“His grades are really good, but I wouldn't suggest asking him home for the holidays. He plans to spend them with me and my family,” Mingyu heard just a week ago. 
And, well, despite the fact that his own son has rightfully disowned him, he still feels proud that Chan appears to be happy and doing well. Even with a father as useless as he is these days, he truly is proud of him. 
So that leaves us here. Cool winter air outside, heated arguments and painful words left long forgotten to burn little patterns into every heart that was involved in the situation. 
If there’s anything Mingyu can fuck up now, he can’t imagine the outcome being worse than it already is. He tried everything to fix the situation, and it appears that this is just how things are going to be from now on. 
Without his son. 
But not without you.
~
After a long and exhausting day out with your friends, you feel good. Happy, even. Genuinely happy for the first time without the weight of past situations weighing you down. You were happy to make it home and even happier to enjoy a nice and warm shower alone.
Because finally you feel okay being entirely alone. You feel comfortable.
That is, until you check your phone and notice that you received a text message hours prior to now. Your stomach instantly drops reading the name, because you really thought you’d never live to see the day where he reaches out to you. 
Mingyu: can we talk?
Mingyu: just talking. nothing else. 
The fact that he still had your number saved. The fact that you remember how the gravel of his driveway felt under your tires when you went to see him. The fact that you can remember the coolness his kitchen counter offered to you the last time you spent the night, and the warm bed you woke up in before it went cold. 
Just like that, you’re back to square one. Reverting back to all that is Mingyu, and all of that silent, reluctant love he gave you despite the problems that would arise. 
And upon Mingyu finally seeing you again, he really, really can’t help it. 
Immediately, he’s giving in to a woman who ruined his relationship with his son without her so much as trying, giving in to the touch and feel of another person, and giving in to his own weakness.
He missed you. 
He always fucking misses you.
And at the end of the day, that’s really all he can say about the entire situation. He misses you, and despite the fact that Chan will never forgive him for this, the truth of the matter is that sometimes two people grow feelings for each other regardless of the surrounding circumstances. Chan wasn’t going to forgive him to begin with anyway. 
Regardless of losses and gains. Regardless of the whispering in town. Regardless of the pain and heartache that could inevitably come from this, Mingyu cannot keep his heart to himself. 
Especially when you so willingly accept it. Here, tangled in the sheets of his bed, hands intertwined his with, hushed breaths and warm tears. 
He doesn’t think he could ever regret what he’s done with you. In fact, it’s possible that he’d be willing to lose much, much more than to give you up again. 
There’s only one thing that drives a person to go to such drastic lengths. It’s not selfishness, it’s not lust, and it’s certainly not spite. A nagging feeling so ingrained within the heart, digging and prodding until the sorrow overflows that empty piece and fills a person with so much dread and dilemma that all they can do is either rip their hair out or fucking bite the bullet. 
Some would say it’s love. 
Mingyu would say it’s you.
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starkwlkr · 3 months
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cherry flavoured | sebastian vettel
sebastian vettel x reporter!reader
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based on the video of iker casillas and his gf during the 2010 world cup
she’s a long one <3 this was finished at 2:30 AM so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes (please do not request for part 2)
Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2010
It was the last race of the season and you were nervous, especially for Sebastian. It was down to Fernando, Mark, Sebastian and Lewis, one of them was going to be them champion. It was your job to cover the race and conduct interviews before and after so this gave you a chance to speak with Sebastian and wish him luck. The media didn’t know about your relationship that had just become official a month ago.
Sebastian had asked you out before the Japanese Grand Prix. That day, you decided to make a deal with him. If he won, you would go to dinner with him. After 53 laps, Sebastian secured a win and a date with you.
While you finished up your interview with Lewis, Sebastian stood patiently to the side. He kept his eye on you, staring at how you talked with such confidence and passion. He loved how expressive you were, sometimes talking with your hands. After letting Lewis go so he could prepare for the race, it was Sebastian’s turn. He happily joined you.
“Hello Sebastian, how are you?” You asked, knowing already how he felt, but you had to do your job. The night before, you stayed in Sebastian’s room, that’s when he told you how nervous he was feeling.
“Good, excited, happy.” He replied, smiling at you.
“Well I won’t keep you here for very long—”
“Why not? I enjoy talking to you.” Sebastian interrupted. His smirk was making you weak and all you wanted was to drag him into a room and let him have his way with you, but you couldn’t at least not now.
Several questions later, Sebastian was still giving you that look making it hard for you to concentrate. It was the same look he gave you the night before when you and him were in his hotel room ripping each other’s clothes off.
“Alright, good luck Seb . . astian, sebastian sorry.” You apologized.
All Sebastian did was laugh at your mistake. Since nobody apart from Mark knew about your relationship, you couldn’t call him Seb. He nodded then mumbled an ‘I love you’ and left. You really hoped nobody could read his lips since you were still live.
You understood that Sebastian needed to concentrate before the race so you didn’t bother him. Soon, the race had started, almost instantly on lap 1, a crash happened. After the race restarted, you watched Sebastian keep his p1 position. When it came to the final lap, everyone was silent in the Red Bull garage where you were watching the race from. Sebastian crossed the finish line, but you still had to wait for the other four cars.
Lewis came in second then came Jenson. After confirming, it was clear that Sebastian had become world champion.
You and the team members of Red Bull made it to the podium ceremony. The German nation anthem played as Sebastian soaked in the moment. He had made history by becoming the youngest world champion. After the national anthem finished, he tried to look for you in the crowd. When he finally did, he winked at you. Again, he was making you feel all sorts of emotions.
After the podium celebrations and posing for photos, the three drivers had to do threat post race interviews. You were in charge of being the first to interview the new world champion.
In the media pen, Sebastian spotted you getting ready for your interview. When you were done, he walked up to you with the biggest smile on his face.
“Congratulations Sebastian. How was it up there on the podium?” You asked.
“It was a dream, but now it’s reality.” Sebastian replied. “I just wanna thank all the people that supported me and you of course, you’ve been there for me.”
You weren’t sure how to respond to that. Was Sebastian about to reveal your relationship?
“Well congratulations again, go celebrate this historic win—” Before you could finish your sentence, Sebastian placed both of his hands on your cheeks and brought you closer to him, placing a kiss on your lips. You could taste the champagne that had been poured of him by Jenson and Lewis. From the distance, Jenson cheered, making everyone turn their attention towards you and Sebastian.
Sebastian didn’t care that you were still live. All he wanted was to celebrate with his girlfriend. “I love you.” He mumbled against your lips. When he finally pulled away, he licked his lips. “Cherry, my favorite.” He smirked.
“You’re the worst.” You laughed. “I love you too, champ. Go, I’ll see you soon.” You practically had to push him away from you so you could continue with more interviews.
“I’ll wait for you!” He yelled as he walked away.
Then Jenson made his way to you since you were going to interview him next. “Do I get one as well?” He teased.
Of course you and Sebastian celebrated, how could you not? He had made history. After the famous kiss, you were sure that you were going to get fired, but nothing ever happened. You did get a warning to not do it again, which Sebastian reminded the FIA that it was his idea not yours resulting in him getting a warning too.
Over the years, you were there when Sebastian won, when he lost, when he moved to Ferrari. You comforted him when he realized he would never win a championship with Ferrari.
During the summer break of the 2019 season, you and Sebastian decided to get married. It was an intimate wedding with only close friends and family attending. The night of your wedding, Sebastian promised you that he would take you anywhere for a while so you could spend your honeymoon. Of course being an F1 driver and a reporter, it didn’t go as planned as a global pandemic hit. You assured Sebastian that you weren’t mad, you had traveled almost everywhere with him anyway.
After the 2020 season ended, Sebastian was now with Aston Martin. He had only secured one podium finish with the team, but you were still more than happy for him.
One day after media day had finished for the 2021 French Grand Prix, you and Sebastian were in the Aston Martin motorhome having lunch. You were talking about a new piece of furniture you wanted when your phone vibrated. You checked it and saw a picture of your friend’s baby that she had sent you.
“Look, remember my friend Jane? That’s her baby girl, aw she’s so adorable.” You showed Sebastian a picture of the baby. “I need to tell her to stop sending pictures or I might get baby fever.”
“It wouldn’t be such a bad thing, right?” Sebastian asked. “We’ve been together for eleven years, married for two.“
“I did always dream of being a mother. It would be fun to play dress up with our daughter or play with you cars with our son. Can you imagine that? They would call me mom . . holy shit.”
Sebastian thought about it. He was in his mid thirties, he already won four titles, that was enough for him.
“I guess this plays into what I’m about to talk to you next. . . I didn’t renew a contract for 2023 with sky sports.” You said.
“Are you going somewhere else?” He questioned.
“No, I didn’t sign anything with anyone. I just thought that it’s time for me to step back. Give someone younger their moment.” You replied. You made the decision a while ago even before the 2021 season started.
“But you love your job.”
“I can’t stay here forever, Seb.”
All day Sebastian had thought about your words. He couldn’t stay in formula 1 forever either. The younger generation had to have a go too.
At the end of the 2021 season, Sebastian had told you the news that he would be retiring at the end of the next season like you. You were sure him retiring was the result of your conversation, but he assured you that even before that he had considered retirement.
“So when are you going to announce it?” You asked.
“Soon. I want to enjoy winter break with you first.”
You and Sebastian spent the holidays in your home in Switzerland surrounded by family and friends. You weren’t even sure how it happened since you and Sebastian spent most of your time at home, but both of you ended up testing positive for covid. You assumed you contracted the virus when you went out for groceries.
The 2022 season had started and you and your husband were stuck at home quarantining. It wasn’t bad, it was just a normal day except you had medicine and empty tissue boxes scattered around the floor.
“Do you need another blanket, liebe?” Sebastian asked you. He touched your forehead feeling it not as hot as before.
You two were in your bedroom watching the Bahrain Grand Prix. You didn’t expect this to be the start of your last season, but at least you were with Sebastian.
“I’m okay, I’m thirsty though.” You sat up as Sebastian walked to the kitchen to get you a glass of water. Once he returned, he saw how sad you looked as you watch the race.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m going to miss it, but I’m happy that I get to be home with you.” You smiled weakly at him.
“We can visit whenever we want, liebe, and then one day we can visit with the kids.” Sebastian replied. “Here, drink.” He handed you the glass of water.
Soon enough, you and Sebastian were good to return back to the paddock. You felt refreshed and ready to officially start the season. You did your interviews, greeted your colleagues and then made your way to the Aston Martin garage where you were going to watch the race.
By lap 24, Sebastian was out. It broke your heart to see it, it was his first race back and he didn’t get a chance to finish it. He arrived back to the garage in a Marshall’s scooter making it a funny moment despite his dnf. He looked for you first.
“Are you okay?” You asked, running your hand through his messy hair.
“Good.” Was all that he said.
After doing some post race interviews, Sebastian waited for you in the Aston Martin motorhome. When you arrived, you noticed a plate of fruit and berries on the table. “I figured you didn’t get a break all day so eat. I made sure to get plenty of pineapple and strawberries.” He moved the plate closer to you.
“Thanks, it wasn’t that stressful today. Hopefully the next race is better for us.” You said once you sat down and started to eat the fruit. “No cherries today?”
“You and your cherries. Not today, liebe.” Sebastian grabbed a strawberry from the plate.
Eventually it was time to announce to the world of motorsports and media that Sebastian and you were retiring. You announced it first with a lengthy post on instagram with pictures of when you first started to now, you even posted the famous kiss that Sebastian gave you in 2010.
You received lots of comments and messages from family, friends and colleagues. It was nice to feel loved by them. The next day, it was Sebastian’s turn to announce his retirement. It started with him making an Instagram account then posting a video.
“I hereby announce my retirement from formula one by the end of the 2022 season.”
Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2022
You felt a giant wave of deja vu. Here you were back in Abu Dhabi only this time it would be the official last Grand Prix for you and Sebastian. You would still visit like Sebastian mentioned, but it wouldn’t feel the same.
You walked into the paddock with Sebastian holding your hand. You were greeted by photographers, fans that wanted to get pictures with Sebastian and several members of other teams that wanted to congratulate you and your husband on retirement.
First you went to the Aston Martin motorhome again since you were a bit tired. You sat at a table in the corner. For a couple of weeks now, you were keeping a secret from Sebastian. Your friend, Jane, was the only one who knew since she had gone through a similar experience.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sebastian asked as he noticed the tired look on you. “Want something to eat?”
“No I’m okay, I promise. It’s still too early for me to function I guess.” You dismissed it. “I’ll catch up with you later, I’m sure you have lots of people waiting for you.”
“They can wait. If you need me here then I’m staying, end of discussion.” He was about to sit down next to you, but you stopped him.
“Seb, no. I mean it, I am fine. Go.” You demanded.
Before he left, Sebastian placed a kiss on your lips. When he pulled away, he frowned. “Is that coconut? I thought you were going to wear the cherry one.”
“Change of plans.” You smiled. “Go, the team needs you.”
“Be careful, I’ll see you later.” He placed one more kiss on your lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” You reply as you watch Sebastian walk out. “I can just imagine how protective he’s going to be about you, baby.” You spoke to yourself as you looked down to your stomach.
You found out you were pregnant when Jane was visiting you in Switzerland. You had gone out to eat for brunch at a nice little restaurant. Immediately after arriving, the smell of eggs made you run to the nearest bathroom and vomit in the toilet. Jane had ran after you making sure you were okay.
“Fuck . . It’s the smell.” You confirmed.
“Babe, when was the last time you had your period?”
Jane’s question made you think back to your vacation with Sebastian a couple months ago. You and Sebastian couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.
After taking a pregnancy test, it was confirmed that you were pregnant. You called your doctor to schedule an appointment. Sebastian wasn’t home so you didn’t have to worry about him walking in on you holding a pregnancy test. You weren’t sure how you were going to tell him, but you knew that he would be the happiest man on earth.
You were assigned to interview Sebastian immediately after the race while on the track. You were told that it would be a special moment for you two seeing as you were both leaving. Apparently Sebastian didn’t know this so that was another secret kept from him.
Sebastian stood beside you as he got ready. You held his helmet, your name printed on the side in a small font. “Remember when I won back in 2010?”
“No, remind me again?” You joked. “Of course I do. It was the night you kissed me in front of thousands of people on live tv.”
“It would be a shame if we didn’t recreate that.” He teased. “You know . . . for historical reasons.”
“I don’t want to get in trouble on my last day.”
“You’re no fun.” Seb rolled his eyes playfully. “Kiss for good luck?”
You then kissed the top of his helmet and shoved it in his hands. “Good luck.” You were about to leave, but Sebastian grabbed your hand and brought you back to him. “Fine.” You kissed him as if your life depended on it.
“I was hoping you changed your lipgloss to cherry.” Mumbled Sebastian after pulling away from you.
“You’ll live.” You gave him a chaste kiss then waited for him to put his balaclava. “I love you and I’m so fucking proud of you.”
Soon, the race was starting. Sebastian had started from P9. It was an exciting and emotional race for you and Sebastian. You didn’t want it to end, but you knew that Sebastian’s time in f1 was over.
By the end of the 58 laps, Sebastian had scored his last point in formula 1. You were content with the result even if he only scored one point. You were then directed to the track with a camera man and microphone in hand. As Sebastian did donuts on the track, you took your phone out to record his last moments. When he finished, you put away your phone. You didn’t even notice you were crying until a marshal gave you a tissue.
You thanked him and cleaned up as Sebastian made his way out the car to wave at the fans. Eventually Sebastian made his way towards you without his helmet and his racing suit hanging from his waist. You couldn’t start the interview without hugging him first so that’s what you did. Like in 2010, the camera filmed you and Sebastian as you embraced. You could hear the crowd cheering.
“You did so well. You made me cry.” You mumbled as Sebastian kissed your temple.
“You look pretty when you cry.” He let go of you since you needed to start the interview. He fixed your hair, tucking a strand behind your ear.
“Sebastian, wow, first off congratulations on your incredible career.” You began.
“I don’t know what to say. I feel a bit empty to be honest, it’s been a big weekend.” He looked at the crowd who were sad to see him go. He gave a speech that made you cry even more, which you blamed on the hormones. “I can say that you were always with me in the bad times and good times. Thank you for sticking with me.”
“Always.” You said, completely forgetting you were holding the microphone so the whole audience heard you.
Sebastian then thanked the fans for the messages and support he’s been receiving. It only made you want to cry even more so thankfully your interview was coming to an end.
“Congratulations, Seb. You deserve it.” You said and with that you and your husband hugged once more. “You’re coming home.” You sighed.
“You don’t sound too happy.” He teased.
“I am, trust me. That means you can help move some stuff around and redecorate the guest room.” You let go of Sebastian, but you still held his hand.
“Why would we need to redecorate the guest room?” He questioned.
“Because that’s our baby’s room.”
“Our baby? Really? You mean it?” His lips turned into a smile that he couldn’t wipe off. “When did you find out?”
“Weeks ago. I’m letting you know right now that if you ever make eggs around me, I will vomit so let’s not do that.” You laughed as Seb brought you in for a kiss.
Again, Jenson was cheering in the background like he did in 2010.
When Sebastian pulled away, he smirked. You had changed your lipgloss after all. “Cherry, my favorite.”
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chrisevansonly · 3 months
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Some Extra Goodies
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charles leclerc x female reader
summary: you are the master at sneaking things into the grocery kart, only this time…someone is watching
warnings: none very fluffy and domestic charles
a/n: thank you all for the cute little ideas i’m gonna work through them, i hope you enjoy these little blurbs!!
Grocery shopping was something you and Charles loved to do together, ever since you moved in together, and even when you both still lived in your respective homes; it was a tradition for you two almost.
Another thing you were good at was sneaking extras into the cart, whether it was your favourite candies or a little package of double chocolate chip cookies, luckily enough for you Charles never seemed to notice.
Until today.
“Chérie, what kind of apples do you want this week?”
You hummed for a second, having just sneakily added a package of cookies to the cart, your eyes then moving up to look at your fiancé who narrowed his stare onto you.
“Oh um let’s just get the honey crisp again! Those were really good last time”
Charles didn’t say anything before grabbing a few apples and placing them into your little fabric fruit bag, the bag you’d started to force him to use to avoid all the plastic use.
“Okay, we just need milk and then we are good to go”
Nodding you hooked your arm through Charles’s and walked towards the dairy section, not before subtly grabbing a pack of gummy bears and trying to hide them under the bushel of banana’s that had just been laid down minutes earlier.
It wasn’t until after you’d gotten the milk and some yogurt that Charles stopped by the cash register, a slight smirk on his face.
“So are we forgetting anything?” he asked softly
“Nope, everything is checked off on the list!”
“Really?”
You raised a brow looking at him and shrugged, showing him the crumpled up grocery list
“Yeah, see I checked it all off…is there something we’re forgetting?”
“Well I just noticed something funny…”
Charles kept his eyes on you, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he pulled out the cookies, gummy bears and the little box of truffles you’d slipped into the cart.
“It’s funny because I didn’t see these on the list…”
“What! Oh well how did they get in there! Must have flown off the shelf!”
Charles couldn’t hold his laugh back at your fake shock, it was something he loved about you, how you’d get so animated and pretend as if you didn’t do something: you both knew you most definitely did.
“So I didn’t see you sneakily place these in the cart over our trip here?”
“Charles! I think you’re seeing things, should we go see a doctor?”
Biting back a smile you tried hard not to crack nor laugh, but as Charles pulled you in for a hug and pressed a kiss to your forehead, you sighed, finally breaking.
“Alright…you caught me…i just wanted some sweets…”
“Well you didn’t have to sneak them mon amour..”
You shrugged
“It’s more fun that way! Plus you never notice!”
At the look on thé Monégasque’s face your mouth dropped open
“You’ve known?!”
“Every year since we started dating…”
Now it was your time to laugh, all of this time you’d thought he’d never noticed your additions to the weekly groceries, when in reality he’d known everytime for the past 5 years.
“Let’s just say don’t become a spy…you’re not very good at hiding things”
“Hey!”
Pressing one last kiss to your forehead the two of you made your way to the cash to check out and pack all of your things up to go home. Even if you weren’t a good spy, and Charles did know when you snuck extras in, he’d never say anything, in fact he loved that you did it.
Because half the time, he’d want the same sweets as you, he’d just never admit it….not now at least.
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twstowo · 4 months
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Bro you can't just make a forehead kissing post and NOT do the rest of the characters 😭🙏 /j
No but actually can you do the first years? I like to imagine all this started with a dare from one of them coughcoughACEcough and now Yuu's just going around sniping all their friends' foreheads with their lips
♡︎ You are right anon, I will redeem myself by doing all the characters.
♡︎ Includes: First Years
[Here]☆[Second years]☆[Third Years]☆[One final forehead kiss]☆[Extras]
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The quest for giving everyone a forehead kiss began when you stumbled upon Ace, deeply engrossed in his thoughts. His hair danced in the gentle breeze, adding an extra layer of charm to his profile. Unable to resist, you tried to slowly approach him without making any sound, trying your best to catch him by surprise and when you came close enough to him you interrupted his daydreaming with a tender forehead kiss.
"What was that for?" he laughed, his response oozing with self-assurance. And to be fair his smug demeanour grated on your nerves, you just gave him a forehead kiss and he reacted like that? No, way! He needed a reality check!
"If you didn't appreciate it, I'll just find Deuce and shower him with forehead kisses instead!" you told him, enjoying the surprise in Ace's widened eyes. Unwilling to back down, he rolled his eyes and stood up.
"Go ahead! Kiss the entire school's forehead! See if I care." Those words struck a chord, prompting you to turn on your heel and leave him to his own devices. You were going to make him regret saying those words.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Deuce:
As soon as you kiss his forehead, he becomes a mess. He touches the spot you just kissed, trying to form any coherent words. Just show him your forehead and tap it, as if telling him to kiss you back, he turns red but kisses you as quickly as he sees you gesture for him to kiss you, as if he always wanted to do that. His hand cups your face, tenderly caressing your cheeks without even thinking.
He daydreams about these moments for the next few weeks.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Jack:
Feeling extremely embarrassed by the unexpected gesture, he avoids eye contact and looks everywhere but your face. After a while, he musters the courage to thank you, and then you both find yourselves in a silent, awkward moment. If you linger without leaving, he eventually gathers more courage and asks if you'd like a forehead kiss in return. If you agree, he gives you a quick kiss, followed by a gentle pat on the head.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Epel:
Finds himself in an internal struggle, Epel wrestles with various thoughts. Does your gesture mean you see him as cute? Is it an affront to his masculinity? Does he need to step up his game? Swiftly, he decides to take action, pulling you by the waist and delivering a surprisingly passionate kiss. Once he's done, he turns as red as you, contemplating the consequences of his impulsive move.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Ortho:
He is so happy with your forehead kiss that he starts to delve into an explanation of the significance behind various types of kisses. He proceeds to suggest the kinds of kisses you should bestow upon his brother. At this point, he's essentially delivering a lecture on the art of kissing. Idia passes behind the two of you and overhears the conversation, for the next week you can’t find him anywhere, he is way too embarrassed to show up in front of you.
──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⋆⋅☆Sebek:
Grateful to the Seven for the unforgettable moment, Sebek cherishes your gesture, vowing to remember it for the rest of his life. Then he proceeds to tell you that your actions are obscene and that you shouldn't just kiss him like that out of nowhere. Throughout the week, he can't shake off the memory, and whenever he encounters you, he blushes, scowls, and quickly turns away, unable to contain his embarrassment.
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evergone · 7 months
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Hey!! Idk know if you are taking requests right now but can you write a Theo x Hufflepuff reader imagine where the reader is always telling him to make friends from other houses. He finally does make friends but with a beautiful Ravenclaw and starts spending more time with her. The reader starts feeling insecure and ignores Theo. He soon realises that she is ignoring him and talks to her.
Btw I love your writing and can you please tag me if you do write it?
Too Friendly
Theodore Nott x reader
Warnings: Swearing, allusions to sex but no sex.
Description: The reader wants Theo to make more friends but when he does, she becomes insecure about their bond.
Sorry this took so long to get out, I'm in the middle of my final exams of high school so I don't have much time. I enjoyed writing this one. Thanks for the request @orphicmortala
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“It’s sad, Theo, you’ve got, like, no friends!” You said as you tried your best to remember how to tie your yellow tie.
“What do you call Malfoy, then?” Theo asked from the bed.
“An accomplice,” you replied with that unique snark that Theo loved about you, “You need friends from other houses— Friends that aren’t just me.” You added those final words hastily before he could open his mouth in protest.
Theo rolled his eyes and beckoned you over. His hands glided over the folds of your tie with expertise, undoing the mess of a knot you’d created in order to do it up properly and perfectly. When he was done, he looked up at you with his gorgeous, oceanic eyes and the corners of his mouth where both his beautiful lips connected turned upwards. You uttered your thanks quietly as you resisted the primal urge to just not go to class at all and instead spend the whole day with him. Your mind wandered off to imagine being stuck between Theo’s checkered emerald sheets, but you brought it back to reality.
Fending off your lustful desires as well as a nun would, you bid adieu to Theo and hurried out of his room and the Slytherin common room. On your way out, you dodged the teasingly crude jokes and names that Theo’s friends tossed towards you and told Pansy that she was no better than yourself (you’d seen the way she snuck out of that empty classroom after Draco a couple days earlier, her hair and clothes all dishevelled and her thighs rubbing together uncomfortably).
The whole day, Theo dwelled on your words. While you weren’t exactly dating or in a relationship, he always found himself bound to your every word and every whim. You seemed to dictate his life in a way that you certainly shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but listen to you. So, in Arithmancy, he didn’t sit next to Blaise as he usually did, instead electing to sit with Lisa Turpin, a Ravenclaw girl he’d seen you talk to a few times.
She looked at him in confusion, “Did you need something?”
He withheld the instinct to say some snide remark and instead replied, “I thought I’d make a new friend today.”
“On some random Tuesday… in our Sixth year?” Her face contorted to expose her obvious disgust.
“Merlin’s cock and balls, I’m trying to be nice, Turpin!” Theo frowned and picked up his bag to go sit elsewhere.
Turpin grabbed his wrist as he stood up and her lips made a thin line as she pulled him back down to the seat. Her brows knitted together like a homemade sweater and she breathed out a sigh of defeat.
“No, it’s okay, sorry,” she said, “Sit here if you’d like.”
Over the next week, Theo made some serious efforts to get to know Turpin despite his friends’ obvious, loud verbal opposition. After that first Arithmancy class, Blaise had practically torn him to shreds with his massive speech on house loyalty and the horrible impact that you were clearly having on him. Daphne had recited the same speech her mother had given to her on her first day of her first year at school about how interrelations with students from the lesser houses was a gateway drug to blood sympathy (she’d given him the same speech when he started his little thing with you). And Pansy, Merlin’s beard, Pansy was furious.
Pansy had constructed this whole idea in her mind that you hated that Theo was talking to Turpin. She called it “cheating” which Theo had adamantly disagreed with. He wasn’t having sex with Turpin, in fact, he had absolutely zero romantic interest in her. He barely even liked her. The only thing the two had in common was Arithmancy and every time they hung out they talked about it until there was no more Arithmancy to talk about. It was, quite frankly, boring. Turpin was boring.
“It’s emotional cheating,” said Pansy in a huff as she and the others started towards the Great Hall for Monday breakfast.
“Emotional cheating?” Theo asked skeptically.
“Yes, Nott, emotional cheating,” she nodded, “And it’s hurting Y/n’s feelings. That’s why she hasn’t spoken to you all week.”
His gaze snapped to focus on Pansy whose black eyes were ablaze with the feminine rage of a girl’s best friend, “How do you know she hasn’t spoken to me all week?”
Pansy smirked, her honey red lipstick bright against her pale skin, and shrugged. She knew you hadn’t spoken to him all week because you wouldn’t shut up about it. In Divination on Wednesday afternoon, you’d all but assaulted Pansy with questions about Theo’s newfound interest in Turpin. All of which Pansy had no helpful responses to.
“Is he flirting with her?” You asked.
“Maybe, I don’t know, it’s not like they sit with us,” said Pansy, struggling to focus on the crystal ball with all your chatter.
“Why not? Why don’t they sit with you? Are they trying to be private?” You pushed almost frantically.
“Uh, possibly? Honestly, I just think he knows we don’t like her,” she explained.
“Why don’t you like her? Is she a bitch?” You frowned and then quickly added in a judgmental tone, “Or are you just being blood supremacists?”
“Is she a mudblood?” Pansy stopped working to stare at you.
You smacked her hand and she hissed, “I don’t know her that well. Don’t say that.”
When Theo and his friends finally arrived at the Great Hall, he searched the tables for your face. While most people usually stuck to their house’s table, you were a social butterfly and loved to flutter from table-to-table to talk to all of your many friends. Sometimes he wondered how you weren’t a prefect despite your popularity and the respect the younger years gave you. His eyes found Turpin first and she beamed and waved him over, but he blatantly ignored her. Pansy and Daphne watched on with delight as the girl cringed with embarrassment and turned back to her meal with bright red ears.
A spot of h/c hair floated above a robe lined with yellow and he abandoned his friends to go to you. You were standing at the end of the Hufflepuff table (not an unusual place to find you, but your favourite table was always the Slytherin one), and you were utterly consumed by a tale you were sewing for your housemates Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley.
“Y/n,” Theo spoke and his deep, smokey voice tore you straight out of your conversation, “Can we talk?”
Your eyebrows quivered and your blinking sped up as you took his appearance in for the first time all week. You hadn’t gone so long without speaking to him in at least three years (you got into an argument in your third year about the petrifications) and hearing his voice and seeing him so close was like throwing a former alcoholic into a sea of wine. There was nothing you wanted more than to indulge in him. But Hannah and Justin were glaring at him like hawks, or guard dogs, whichever was more intimidating.
“Um,” you glanced back at your friends and Hannah shook her head slightly, she’d never much liked Theo, “Sure.”
Hannah rolled her eyes and whispered something barely audible to Justin. Something about a “love-fucked pushover.” You ignored her. Theo took you to a pair of seats far from any prying ears and held your hands in his.
“You know I don’t like Turpin, right?” He said quietly.
You scoffed, “Yeah, right. And that’s why you spent all week with her.”
“I spent all week with her because you told me to!” He laughed with salt that spread itself over your wounded heart.
“Did I just? Because I really don’t remember saying ‘Hey, Theo, you know how I like you so much? I actually want you to go talk to another girl,’” you said sarcastically.
He held back a grin as best he could but the amusement glistened in his eyes and on his rosy, mole-spotted cheeks. His hand came up to your brow and massaged the frown out from between your eyebrows as you fluttered your eyelashes at him in the way you knew made him melt inside.
“I wanted to make friends for you,” he told you with that soft, romantic tone he used in bed.
“Don’t,” you ordered, “You’re Theodore Nott, you aren’t supposed to be friendly.”
For the first time in a week, he got a good look at you. He hadn’t realised how much he missed the sight of your h/l h/c hair and the way it framed your stunning face so perfectly that you appeared to have stepped right out of a portrait. He hadn’t realised how much he missed how your eyes, an elegant e/c and perpetually glossy as if always on the verge of tears, examined every centimetre of his face. He hadn’t realised how much he missed doing your tie up for you until he saw it tied like a bow around your neck.
“I’m friendly to you,” he said as his hands pulled at the end of the tie and it fell apart over your chest.
“And that’s all you need, I think,” you whispered pleasantly and pressed a loving kiss to his lips as he looped the tie around itself twice and pushed the end through the gap, tying it perfectly.
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sunandsstars · 5 months
Text
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YAWNETU
CHAPTER 9
Tonowari x Ronal x Na’vi!Reader
Summary: With her arrival in Awa’atlu, reader seeks to find a sanctuary for her family, one that she may find in two particular individuals
Warnings: Mentions war, Pregnancy, Mean dad
Word count: 5.5k
A/N: thank you for those who have been patient with me! I know i abandoned you all for a bit but here’s chapter 9, i might rewrite it since the first bit seems a bit rushed but let me know what you guys think!
Taglist: @itsyoboysparkel @dumb-fawkin-bitch @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @fanboyluvr @mooniequeen @berrybluez @bajadotcom @alwaysinwritersblock @pandoragalora @perfectprofessorloverapricot @lvrcpid @answer-the-sirens @phantomalex14 @neteyamforlife @bat1212 @sadforeversblog @ducks118 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @1800imgay @soushswag @honeybxes @lola-bunn1 @alldaysdreamers @doggodorime @theesexystallion @scarlettwch @annamarieisbae @wallpaintt @zatarias-pandora @daoyus @ambria @simp-erformarvelwomen @simpliheavenli @tojidilfs @automaticwizardnerd @lexasaurs634 @symptoms-of-moonlight @avtprint
@deviismynamewritingismygame @sunrays404 @tsireyassgurl @xx-kaitlyn-trixx-xx @that-one-daydreamer @yeosxxx @noname2246 @ok-boke @rubyrubyruuu @diosmilkymommers @annaleesworld @jiminsthickthighs @holysaladapricothero @peaches-peach-peach @enochi @thispussyshouldcomew @ihonestlydontknowwhattonamethis @kirisimpster @pompompomegranate @stevebuckysdoll @midhito @any-maybe @nyylovestowrite @omnimaki @blueberryfailureclinic @degenweeb @tejas-kris @sadlyitsme-boo-hoo @agustdeeyaa @kthehoeforfictionalmen @himbo-klown @miraxflor @behindthearcane @yanelis-world @jaxe-27 @noahboahsblog @saltedcoffeescotch
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The Metkayina pair became good mates for her, they were understanding, loving, protective, everything she had ever hoped for in the past, a dream she once had that now became a reality.
Tonowari hunted for the rarest of pearls outside the reef and crafted pretty necklaces and beaded tops for his new wife, his love was more physical, he enjoyed creating new clothes and loved decorating ___’s hair with small shells and sea glass, his wives only deserved the best after all.
Ronal showed her loved in different ways though, she cooked for the growing family, took care of any wounds, accompanied ___ wherever she went and taught her all she knew about being a Tsahík in hopes that she can learn and become one herself in the future.
Together the three thrived and eventually moved into one large marui with the perfect view of the sunset and sunrise each and every day. The house had much more space for their children too, who were all growing as the years went on, there were even new additions to the family, such as Tsireya, their first daughter and Ronal’s second born.
___ often thought about having more children, but birthing twins, especially in the circumstance she was in, was enough to put her off for a while. But with her new happy family, she continues to ponder what it would be like, she now lives in a more stable environment with mates who adore her and her boys so it was only right for her to think.
“Yawnetu, what is on your mind?”
Tonowari glanced up from the net he was weaving, cocking his head to the side and blinking, usually at this time of the day his wife would be chattering away about what she has been up to while he was hunting, but alas he was met with silence most of the evening. It was obvious something else took up her thoughts, and he wanted to get to the bottom of it.
Snapping her head towards her husband, a purple hue took over ___’s pretty face “I am sorry, what was it you said? I was not paying attention”
Tonowari chuckled and put down the unfinished net, getting on his hands and feet and shuffling quickly next to her, cupping her face. “I know you were not, that is why I asked what you were thinking of” he leaned in and brushed his nose against hers, foreheads connecting.
___’s slightly larger ears twitched at his words, eyes widening, should she tell him?
Just as she was about to open her mouth loud shouting echoed from outside the marui, interrupting the couple peace. Tonowari leaned back and sighed, eyes closing and a hand coming to rub his temple, what could be causing such a racket late into the evening?
As the shouting drew closer it was clear to make out the voices and words, the concern that once appeared in ___’s yellow orbs died down into amusement.
“No! That is mine! I will tell sa’nu!”
“She will agree with me anyway, you must share! It is not fair you get to have this all day!” Two young na’vi scrambled into the hut, bickering and sticking tongues out at each other. One held an akula toy made out of mangrove wood, waving it around like a prize he had won. “Sa’nu! Tell this skxawng to share!”
Syatxì pouted at his greener brother, glaring daggers into bluer eyes, his yellow gaze fell onto his mother who hid a laugh behind her hand, frowning even more at the lack of help. “Mama, tell him off!” he pointed a finger at Ao’nung who stuck his tongue out once more.
“Now why must your mother solve all of your problems?” Tonowari stood up and crossed his arms, analysing his sons who quickly stood to attention. “You two are warriors are you not?”
“Srane!”
“Then you must fight your own battles. Your mother should not be doing so, instead of her looking after you, you must look after her” the boys were fast to nod intently, taking in the words like it was a quest they must complete, and in a way it was. “Warriors do not depend on the fight of others, you must think for yourselves, what would better the situation -“
“Tonowari” Another figure emerged from the entrance to their home, walking inside with the steps of a leader, behind her skipped in another two smaller figures, peaking out between the Tsahìk’s legs. “Must you do this now?” Ronal huffed and placed a few bowls down, squatting by her pile of herbs and sifting through them.
“Ronal, they need to learn”
“And they will, husband” the woman glanced up and offered a small smile, “in due time” she then moved to sit next to her wife, cupping the back of her head as an intimate gesture.
___ patted the space between her legs to offer her daughter a place to sit as the family talked, quickly getting to work adjusting her thick hair “my sons, fighting is not the answer. Sharing is what we do as a family, and Ao’nung, do not call your brother names”
It was Ao’nung’s turn to pout as his counterpart cackled in his face, snatching the akula toy and running away. “Hey!”
Happiness is simple.
That’s what ___ told herself as she watched her boys play, Sylwaì rushing to join in the fun as they soon decided to leave for the waters and explore before dinner.
Her family meant everything to her, she has a home now and has a life with people who appreciate and care for her as much as she does them. “I appreciate you both, I love you in ways i cannot express” she whispered, kissing the top of Tsireya’s head as she jumped up to follow her older brothers who called for her.
“And we love you yawnetu” Tonowari sat on her other side, kissing her shoulder. “You know, you still have not told me what was on your mind earlier, you were thinking very heavily”
“I want another child”
Ronal stopped poking the fire pit that was suspended above the water, inhaling a breath and turning her head to look at her mates with eyes that shined with growing glee. “You do?” her tail started swishing behind her, despite her best efforts to be calm and mellow.
“Srane. Maybe not right now, but at some point, I want children of your blood, and mine”
“It is decided!” The Olo’eyktan jumped and picked ___ up by the thighs, hoisting her up and she squealed, laughing at his joy. “When you are ready, we mate, again, and you will bear our next kin” he rubbed his nose against hers, placing her back on the floor by her feet.
Ronal soon joined and kissed ___’s shoulder sweetly, a small grin on her face “it was about time you said that, I was afraid ‘wari might explode otherwise”
“Ronal!”
Yes, happiness was simple.
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It was times like these where Neytiri most thought of her, the beads in her hands resembled the amber of her eyes and the pattern of the bracelet reminded her of her hair.
___ never left her thoughts ever since she left all those years ago. The tsakeram has physically moved on, after her search for the women was left with no progress she decided to pray to Eywa to keep the small family of three safe on their travels to wherever they go and hope for the best. Mentally, Neytiri is sad, her heart still aches and yearns for her lost mate, and if she can turn back time she would, just to change who she was.
“What are you thinking of?” Jake put his bow away, finished with cleaning the exterior and replacing the string, his head turned towards his wife and cocked a brow, noting her silence.
“___”
Jake paused, face turning to look at the ground by his feet, ears going down, just like Neytiri he is haunted by his actions, but he tried to forget about them rather than acknowledge them. He was a brute, a shit ‘mate’ and abandoned his sons before they were even born. It’s thoughts like those that push him to step down from his mighty position as a leader, but the clan needs him, so he stays.
“I have faith that she is safe somewhere” Jake replied, nodding his head to reassure himself. ___ was strong, she would have found somewhere to be.
Neytiri sighed and tied off the bracelet, “and what if she was turned away, for her sons? What if she never found anywhere safe to begin with? what if -“ large hands cupped her face and a nose bumped hers, Jake smiled a little at her rambling, but it was a sad smile, he does not know how to answer those questions, he thinks the same as her deep down.
“The twins were born looking like true na’vi, there is no way they would find out about them without ___ saying so”
The warrior nodded her head, sighing in defeat and kissing her mates cheek, for now she would get on with her other chores, later she will ponder again. It was like a cycle she can never break out of, one that leaves her dreaming dreamless nights and going about her day on autopilot.
“Sa’nok!” Kiri jumped into her mothers lap, rushing to get away from the sticky hands of her brother, Lo’ak, who was chasing her with the intent of throwing tree sap in her hair. “Hide me from him! He will not leave me alone!”
Lo’ak roared and ran up to the pair, squealing when he was picked up and dangled upside down by his father, “Dad! Put me down!” he wriggled and tried to escape the Olo’eyktan’s firm grip.
Jake chucked and continued to gently swing him, “Kehe, what did I tell you about terrorising your sister? you worm”
“Not to do it in front of sa’nok!”
“Hey!” Jake bellowed a laugh as he put his youngest down, catching Neytiri’s judging face aimed straight at him and quickly stopped his laughing, pretending to act serious for the sake of his wife. “Kids will be kids” he shrugged, trying to play the innocent husband with a coy smile.
His wife just huffed, a grin stretching onto her face as she felt a kick in her stomach, hand instantly going to soothe the ache. “Little one wants to join in the fun, it seems”
Kiri gasped as she felt the slight pound on her back, turning to face her mothers bloated stomach and leaning down, smooshing her face against it “I want my sister out, I am tired of being the only true girl, there is only so much me and Lo’ak can talk about”
“Kiri! I am NOT a girl you turd!”
Kiri just ignored her brother in favour of focusing her attention on her new unborn sibling. “How do you know it will be a girl ‘ite?” the youngling shrugged and smiled a little.
“I just have a feeling” she sung. The marui entrance suddenly flapped open with force, another little boy rushing inside, panting slightly.
“Lo’ak! Stop running away from me!” Neteyam went and tackled him, dogpiling onto his younger brother who laughed loudly, the two wrestling for fun. Kiri snorted and rolled her eyes ‘boys’
Jake kneeled next to his mate, kissing the back of her neck and sighing quietly, his family bringing him the comfort he desperately needed, but yet he still feels incomplete. His heart yearned for the missing pieces, his missing sons and his missing mate.
One day he will find them.
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A new star appeared in the sky. It was small to the naked eye, almost unnoticeable, but to someone who has studied the stars day in and day out for the past 14 years, it looked out of place, glowing brighter than the others around it, twinkling brighter and brighter as the minutes past.
“Hey” Jake nudged his wife awake from where she laid on his chest, still staring up into space. His distant look urged Neytiri to turn her head up into his line of sight, eyes widening and jaw going slack.
“No, this cannot be” In the far distance, the bright light zoomed down onto Pandora, red hot fire raging down onto the planet with a mission. Everything around the ships caught fire and the flames spread too quickly, the creatures of Pandora screeching and rushing to escape.
Neytiri ran to a higher viewpoint, jumping over logs and dodging yerik who fled in the opposite direction, a cry escaped her lips and she watched her home, once again, fall victim to the humans who once destroyed her planet in a time she thought long had past. The Na’vi crouched and sobbed, feeling the arms of her mate surrounding her who had his ears pinned back, watching the sight of the forest going up in flames.
His nightmares never seemed to end, Jake could only wonder if this was the great sorrow Moat talked about all these years ago.
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A year passed from the return of the human race, the humans and na’vi who lived near hells gate moved up to the floating mountains for safety. Always preparing for war, always going to fight.
Spider was squatted over various bowls of blue paint, redoing the stripes that littered all over his body, sticking his tongue out in concentration. Behind him, Kiri worked swiftly and accurately, painting stripes in places he cannot see or reach.
“I still don’t understand why you paint yourself like this”
“I told you, it’s to blend in” Spider turned and faced the much taller girl, looking at the stripes on her body to try and mimic on his own. “When I do this, I look like one of you, the animals respect me more. Plus, I run faster”
“Sure monkey boy. The animals probably don’t want to taste the berries when they eat you” Kiri snorted, dipping her hand in more blue paint and going back to paining his biceps.
“Hey! I am na’vi, just like you” Spider scooped a large glob of paint, although still small compared to the amount Kiri had, and launched it at her face.
“Oop!”
Sudden footsteps interrupted their playful banter, little padding of feet getting closer behind the pair. “Spider! Kiri! The war party has returned! They are back! Come on! Come on!” Tuktirey rushed over and grabbed both of their arms, dragging her sister and friend along to the edge of high camp, watching as banshees shouted as they flew by and landed.
Shouting can be heard by the cliff, the evident voice of their father talking sternly to their brothers, Kirk’s ears went down and she sighed, going behind Neteyam and looking at his evident wounds.
“You spot bogeys! That was your one job! You spot them and you report them, from a distance!” Jake got up to the boys faces, waving his hands like a madman.
“I’m sorry sir, it was my fault” Neteyam lowered his head, disappointed that he let his father down again.
“When are you gonna stop taking the heat from this knucklehead?” Jake glared at him, eyes going to Lo’ak who stood silent, feeling his little sister moving his arms around. “And you? What do you have to say for yourself?”
“Ma Jake. Your son is bleeding” Neytiri interrupted, eyes concentrated on her husband who was evidently stressed. Her tail curled in slight annoyance, heart pumping from the adrenaline she felt in the fight. Jake looked at his wife and sighed, hand going to his temples.
“Go to your grandmother. Now” As Neytiri took Neteyam by the arm and followed her daughters to her mothers tent, she turned around to observe Lo’ak who was left standing in front of her husband. “You understand what your actions caused?”
“Yes sir”
“You could have gotten your brother killed” Lo’ak’s ears went down, he hated disappointing his father. “No flying for a month. See to every ikran, get them taken care of” and with that Jake stormed off, shaking his head and muttering curses under his breath, the ringing in his ears won’t stop, and unlike Neytiri his heart pumps from fear not adrenaline.
‘I could have lost them’
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“Yawnetu” Ronal stalked over to her wife who fed the young ilu in the pen, a deep frown on her face at the news she was about to deliver. “The Omaticaya in the forest, they are at war once again”
___’s ears twitched and pulled back, she knew that the star she saw a year ago was not from any constellation she has memorised since her childhood, she had a feeling that the tawtute have returned, but has been keeping her mind occupied to forget.
Her heart continued to hurt though.
“I know, my love. I worry for my family back home” especially Spider, who she prays to Eywa every night to keep safe. Ronal rested her hands upon her lovers shoulders, sighing deeply, she knows that her wife is hurting inside, but the tsahìk can only offer comfort, not truly in the midst of war yet. Somehow Awa’atlu has stayed away from the tulkun huntings, and she hopes Eywa can keep them safe for a little longer. Sooner or later though she knows that war will be amongst their side of the reef, it was only a matter of time.
Ronal then took her hands off ___’s shoulders and stood straight, “I must continue with my duties today, join me?” the forest na’vi shook her head, she was planning to join some of the women to go into the reef to pick some plants needed for food and healing.
“Not at this moment, I must join some of the divers today” the metkayinan nodded and smiled a little, moving away from the ilu pen to wherever she was needed. ___ went back to throwing fish at the creatures in the sea, giggling when the young ones brushed against her legs. The smile she displayed was hardly genuine, but it was enough to fool outsiders who do not know her well enough.
The woman soon slips out of the water, putting down the empty baskets to be filled later and moved to where she was to meet the other ladies. The day ahead was something that she would soon come to dread, unknownst to her the past she once sought herself leaving would soon come crashing into her life tenfold.
But being unaware for the meantime was bliss.
The ladies were kind to her and the job was easy enough, she finished within a few hours into the morning, deciding to rest by the edge of the reef chatting away with her friends of a few years now. Gossiping about their husbands, as wives do.
‘’Do not get me wrong, I adore my mate, but sometimes he is just so overbearing! Why do I need to take two spears with me when I am outside the reef! I can very much handle myself’’ Tayal huffed, tail slapping the ground in slight annoyance from this mornings hunt. She was a seasoned hunter, extremely skilled and praised by the elders for her work, but her husband was just too cautious.
Sayala rolled her eyes and smiled at her ‘’your mate just looks out for you, if you do not like his actions then it is best to talk to him. I, for one, do not have an overbearing mate but he does snore very loudly when he sleeps. So loud that it wakes me up sometimes! I wish that I had your problem’’ The group laughed, ___ patting her shoulder in pity.
‘’If Tonowari were to ever do that then Ronal would shun him to sleep onto the ocean floor. I am lucky that he does not pose any problems late at night’’ She giggled, catching the interest of some of the ladies.
‘’My Tsahìk! You have two mates, what is that like?’’ The question caught her slightly off guard until she remembered that it is extremely rare for Na’vi to hold more than one lover, even then it is usually preserved for important figures of the clan.
‘’Well, it is normal for me, I have had two mates ever since I came of age, they are wonderful to me and the kids, I am just thankful to Eywa for guiding me here to them’’ ___ rubbed her swollen stomach, thanking the great mother for what has become of her, Tayal hummed, basking in the light that is ___.
But the Na’vi cannot help but wonder, her Tsahìk has become of age long before she joined Awa’atlu and she could not have been mated to her leaders since then, not to mention her two sons who were not of Metkayina blood (although she did not bat an eye at the latter, sometimes women have children without mates). Is ___ hiding something from them? But before she could ponder any longer their conversation was abruptly disrupted.
A horn sounded through the village, reaching far to the Na’vi who sat at the edge of the reef. They all yipped and cried out at the warning signal, abandoning their chores and standing tall from their crouches. ‘Visitors? What could this mean?’
‘’Look! Up there!’’ One of the woman pointed to the sky where ikran glided through the air, on top sitting forest Na’vi shouting to each other in panic, not expecting a horn to greet them as they entered. It alerted the village to the visitors, and while it was inevitable, attention was not something that they wanted to bring towards them for the time being.
___’s breath hitched at the familiar ikran colours, if these are the Na’vi who she thinks they are then- ‘’___ come! We must see who they are’’. But the Omaticayan could only sigh, already knowing the answers to the question her friend seeks guidance for, ikran are unique in their patterns, there are no two banshees who look the same. The two large creatures at the head of the formation could only belong to the Na’vi she once ran away from.
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Ao’nung stalked through the crowded beach, coming to the forefront of the commotion with hard eyes, Rotxo trailing behind him. His gaze caught the yellow orbs of the two Sully boys who watched him with slight wonder, having never seen another Na’vi race before the Omaticaya. Inwardly the boy cringed, seeing similarities between his brothers and these…people. This was going to be difficult.
‘’Is that supposed to be a tail?’’ His smaller companion laughed slightly, pointing towards the skinny appendage which curled in anticipation. Ao’nung averted his gaze towards it and scoffed, smirking when the older boy of the two brothers turned his head to look at him. ‘’How are they supposed to swim-‘’
‘’Do not, Rotxo, Ao’nung’’ a sweet voice called out, small hand hitting the back of her brothers heads and blue eyes rolling at their stupidity. They were trying to look intimidating and it was obvious, making fun of these newcomers who looked the exact same as some of their family members. It was rude, and extremely unnecessary, these people are guests here, and as the chiefs daughter, she will show them the kindness that her idiot brothers will not do.
Tsireya noted the absence of her mother and two brothers, being suddenly reminded that their presence would be appreciated, if not for the sake of her people then perhaps the sake of these newcomers. Her head moved to look at one of the boys face to face, dipping down and smiling apologetically. ‘’Hey’’ He tipped his head up and smiled a small smirk, trying his luck with making friends with the people who he would be potentially living with. Friends, or something more?
Tsireya grinned and chuckled at his awkwardness, finding it sweet that despite the predicament they find themselves in, he still shows kindness towards her.
Hoots and shouts alerted the clan that their leaders were in the vicinity, Tsireya’s father landing in the water nearby on his large skimming. He waded out of the water, eyes never leaving the newcomers and raised his brows as he got closer, it was Toruk Makto, whom he met during the great clan meetings.
“I see you, Jake Sully”
“I see you Olo’eyktan”
“Neytiri te Tskaha Mo’at’ite” they formally greeted each other, fingers to their forehead and dipping them in the accustomed manner of their people. ‘’What brings your family to our side of the reef?’’
Jake and his wife shared eye contact briefly, unsure on what to say and afraid of saying the wrong thing, they were tired of travelling, tired of war, they could not go on much longer. ‘’We seek uturu’’
‘’Uturu?‘’ a new voice called out, appealed and confused. Ronal sauntered up to Toruk Makto and sized him up with a glare, moving on to his wife who bowed in respect of the tsahik. Her blue eyes caught the sight of their children and waltzed up to them, moving around them like an akula and inspecting their aura.
‘’Srane, we seek a sanctuary for our family’’ Jake’s tail curled in nervousness, he hasn’t felt this scared since that day he had to prove himself to the Omaticaya, warning them and getting them to believe him when the skypeople were attacking hometree.
‘’We are reef people, you are from the forest, your skills mean nothing to us here’’ Tonowari announced to the family, voice strong and firm. He was wary about their arrival, it was sudden and unexpected. He knew of the war happening overseas, everyone does, but has it become so bad that they seek refuge in another clan?
Jake cringed at the harshness in the leaders gaze, so used to respect from his people back home that he forgets his place in others. His ears picked up the whimpers of his youngest as she clung to his legs, scooting away from Ronal’s piercing gaze and scalding touch. ‘’Their arms are thin’’ her voice rang through the crowd, stopping any chatter, ‘’and their tails are too weak, they will be slow in the water’’ she ignored Kiri’s small outcry when her tail was yanked a little too harshly.
But the Tsahik’s calculating gaze quickly turned to critique and panic once her eyes caught onto the girls hand, she snatched it from where it hung limp and brought it into the air to show her people, ‘’these children.. are not even true Na’vi!’’ She grabbed onto one of the boy’s hand with her free one and raised it too, to show who they truly are, ‘’they have demon blood!’’
Gasps rung out among the Metkayina, not expecting the very aliens to destroy Pandora to come across the sea to their island for sanctuary, hisses vibrated through some of them, hostility in their blue orbs. ‘’Yes we are!’’ Kiri snatched her hand back and glared, subtly moving closer to her mother who narrowed her eyes, not liking the way this woman, clan leader or not, spoke about her children.
Jake felt panic course through him at the judgemental gazes being directed to their small group, this was not going to plan. ‘’Hey..look! Look at this! I was a skyperson but now i am Na’vi! We can adapt, we will adapt right?’’ He showcased his five fingers to the Tsahik who watched his pinky finger poke outwards curiously. Murmurs of small ‘yeah’s’ rung through the Omaticayans as they agreed with him.
‘’My husband was Toruk Makto. He brought the clans to victory against the skypeople’’ Neytiri stepped forward, trying to assert herself. She will not let her family suffer once more just because she was turned away by this disrespectful Na’vi.
Ronal scoffed, glare hardening. Eywa so help her if this outsider continued to scorn her and her position in her own clan, ‘’is this what you call victory? Hiding, among strangers’’ her eyes flicked from Neytiri to her husband and back ‘’it seems Eywa has turned her back on you, chosen one’’
A sharp hiss interrupted her sentence, sharp teeth obstructing Ronal’s vision. On instinct she hissed back, ears flattening to her skull, unaware of the worried look her mate shared with Jake.
Tonowari decided to put an end to this feud before the women fought with spears, ‘’Toruk Makto is a mighty warrior, all Na’vi people know his story. But your people are at war and us Metkayina, we have stayed away from the conflict. We do not want you to bring this fight to us’’
‘’I am done with war’’ Toruk Makto picked Tuktirey up who clung to his neck like a lifeline ‘’I just want to keep my family safe, please’’
‘’Let them stay’’
The crowed parted once more to reveal a dark blue figure emerging from a sea of green, pearls dangling delicately on her heavy figure. ‘’Let them’’ she repeated, eyes darting from Tuktirey to the other children, and then to her mates, ‘’they come from a place of war, ‘wari. That is no place for children to live’’
‘’___’’ Ronal snapped her head towards her wife, tail lashing in anticipation ‘’you do not mean that, look at them. Demons’’. The mentioned woman’s ears lowered and she frowned, opening her mouth to remind her partners of where she came from, where her sons came from, but instead of any words coming out, only a puff of air escaped.
She closed her eyes and huffed, opening them once again and looking up, yellow clashing with blue. ___ stared intently into Ronal’s eyes, hoping to convey the message she so wishes to speak aloud. Luckily, the pair have known each other long enough to be able to understand one another without words, they say that the eyes are the window to the soul.
Ronal conducted a slow blink and pursed her lips, nodding her head, partly in concern to what the future may hold if she let these outsiders in her home. ‘’It is decided’’ Tonowari began, turning to face the crowd and raising his arms to gain the attention of the Metkayina ‘’Toruk Makto and his family will stay, treat them as your brothers and sisters for they do not know the sea, they will be like babies taking their first breath’’
At that Neytiri looked towards the sand, a sudden memory popping into her mind, her ears lowered and frowned, only straightening up when feeling the hand on her shoulder being squeezed. Kiri noted the sudden tenseness in her mother’s posture as soon as this third mate of the chief appeared in front of them, she was as blue and as slim as them, same tail and large ears. The girl recognised the familiar beads and weaving patterns on her clothes, despite the difference in material, this stranger was from the Omaticaya clan.
‘’Teach them our ways so they do not suffer the shame of being useless’’ the large man huffed, turning to make heavy eye contact with Jake, the rider of shadow dropping his youngest onto the ground and smiling in gratitude, patting Tuktirey on her back.
‘’Well what do we say guys? Irayo’’ The Sully’s coreoused, some more enthusiastic than others, Kiri rolling her eyes and sighing. Her father straightened up from his slight kneeling position for his daughter and nodded his head to his new chief, then turning his head to acknowledge his wives with a swallow, afraid of the Tsahik’s each for entirely different reasons.
___’s breath hitched when yellow clashed together, tail curling upright in anticipation, her old mate then nodded to her like he did her husband out of politeness and notably swallowed, averting his eyes back onto the sand, afraid that if he were to look into her eyes any longer he’ll get swallowed into a pit of shame, one that he wont ever crawl out of.
‘’My son Ao’nung’’ Tonowari gestured towards one of his boys who decided to show up, mentally going through the scalding he will carry out later ‘’and daughter Tsireya, will show your children what to do’’
Ao’nung’s ears flattened into his skull, not liking the idea of being buddy-buddy with these weirdos ‘’but sempul-‘’ a large blue hand rose infront of the boys face and he immediately paused his speaking in respect.
‘’It is decided’’
That respect was soon lost.
Ao’nung rolled his eyes and glared at the sand beneath his feet, tempted to kick it out off frustration but not wanting to embarrass himself in front of the people. Luckily, Tsireya felt the anger that radiated off of him and decided to speak up, ‘’come, we will show you our village’’ she waved them over in the direction of their new home, once they acquired their things.
This was going to be a long day.
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mirohlayo · 27 days
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🍓❝ you know i love and care about you, right? ❞ with lando <3
LET ME SHOW YOU
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( maybe you're insecure, but that will never bother Lando, since it's a way to remind you how much he loves you. )
warning : insecurities, fluff
word count : 1.1k
You're not the type to be jealous or insecure. Especially not about your boyfriend. You trust him with all your heart, you can never blame him for anything because he is simply perfect. Adorable and perfect.
And yet, here you are in this situation. It had become usual for everyone now, to see Lando alongside beautiful models. Pretty women, with perfect and angelic faces, elegant posture and careful gestures. Even more so when he was partying.
You didn't see any problem with it. Since after all, Lando always made you feel like the most beautiful woman, Lando always reassured you that he only had eyes for you. And you know, you can't deny a fact that is true.
But seeing him constantly surrounded by these models was perhaps something that saddened you today. So, you locked yourself in your hotel room, while Lando continued to test the car on the track. He asked you about your health, if you were okay, but you just said you were tired.
Sometimes you would glance at Instagram, instantly regretting opening the app the second different posts of Lando alongside these girls popped up. You couldn't stand this.
It's probably toxic and unhealthy, but you can't help but feel insecure. After all, who wouldn't want a rich and handsome Formula 1 driver? Especially when that meme man is a lovable personality.
The day passed slowly. You heard the distant sound of the Formula 1 engines, thinking of Lando who was driving one of them. You regretted the moment he returned to the hotel. You didn't want to appear so weak and insecure in front of him, knowing that this isn't the first time you've talked about it.
But yet, despite your complexes, despite the fact that you felt apart, Lando was always there to comfort you about your relationship.
“Hello, sweetheart.” The day is over, since you yourself are surprised to see Lando standing in front of you. You try as best you can to come back to reality, giving your lover a weak smile. “Ooh my baby, I missed you so much”. His body collapses onto yours, as he nestles his head in the crook of your neck.
You delicately stroke his curly hair, while he snuggles a little closer to you. “I missed you too, Lan.” “Of course you missed me, you stayed at the hotel all day.” A silence settles in, you didn't really know what to answer. You didn't want to tell him about your insecurities.
"Sorry. I don't like leaving you alone on the track." He lifts his head slightly, just enough for his eyes to meet yours. "Don't apologize, baby. You needed some rest." His lips press against yours, gently, delicately.
You already feel better, just from this simple kiss. It's unfair the way he manages to console you, to comfort you just by his simple presence. "I've been thinking about you all day. Even when I was in the car." His voice is muffled since his face is still hidden in the crook of your neck.
Still, it makes you smile. “You can’t do without me Lando.” You giggle slowly, while you feel a smile appear on his face. "Absolutely, I'm obsessed with you. Maybe a little too much... Fuck, I love you so much princess." A soft laugh escapes his throat as his arms wrap a little tighter around you.
But these words are enough to make you cry. Of joy, of sadness? You don't really know, but on the other hand you know that Lando's sincerity is the source of your tears. Because even without being aware of your insecurities, he manages to make them go away. To chase them away.
He always knew how to make you feel special and unique, make you feel his. Through his words and actions, he always showed only love and tenderness towards you. And even without talking about your problems, he manages to solve them with a snap of his fingers, thanks to his way of showing his affection.
Your wet tears fall on his hair, running down his neck. He senses that something is wrong, and suddenly raises his head to look at you. His face falls as he searches your face and your gaze for an answer.
"Oh my baby. Why are you crying?" He sweeps the tears from your cheeks with his thumb, cupping your face in the process. You take a deep breath, trying to calm your sobs. His lips place soft, long kisses on your face, while he gives you time to find your words.
“Take your time, princess. I’m here with you, I won’t leave.” You smile weakly at him as your tears fall once again. "I know it's childish, Lan but-" "Hey, don't ever say that again. Your problems aren't childish, you have the right to feel how you feel." He cuts you off, an expression of displeasure displayed on his face.
You nod slowly, sniffling otherwise. "I'm just... it annoys me a little to see you surrounded by pretty girls and models. I know we've talked about this before and it's something I need to work on with myself... “He encourages you to continue, gently caressing your cheeks.
"But I still feel a little insecure about it. I know you love me and I trust you, but sometimes it makes me insecure. I'm just afraid you'll find someone better than me." Lando's lips seem to curl down, to the point where his face resembles that of a puppy.
“Oh my baby girl.” He doesn't wait a second before kissing you languorously, his hands anchored on your cheeks, caressing them ever so gently. He pulls back, a soothing smile plastered on his lips. "How could I find anyone better than you? You are the very definition of the girl of my dreams."
You can't help but roll your eyes as a smile takes over. Which makes Lando smile more. “I only have you in my thoughts, my dreams and my heart. Only you my girl”. He kisses you lightly again, not being able to stop himself from smiling.
His eyes admire you as if you were the most beautiful thing on earth. Which is totally the case for him. “You know I love and care about you, right?” He leans down again to kiss the tip of your nose, as you nod eagerly. “I love you so much, Lan. I’m so in love with you.” You can only say these words in a low whisper.
His eyes crinkle into another smile, a most affectionate smile. “Then let me show you how much I am in love with you too, pretty girl”. And without further ado, he doesn't hesitate to cover your entire face with thousands and thousands of kisses.
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