#TW: Abuse Intent

[imaginewarehouse]

Yandere!Marcus White x Fem!Reader || Drabble

Plot: You're having a thing with Marcus as, just, rebound stuff. He's someone, to you, to have some fun with, and help forget about the guy that broke your heart. And he knows this. He knows what he is to you- what he is supposed to be in this situation.

But he has no intention of letting you go- especially not when your ex starts trying to get you back.

Warnings: Yandere character, Age Difference (Marcus is like, early to mid 30's and you're fresh outta college), Emotional Manipulation, sexual references, a dose of sexism- okay so this got a little away from me XDD I think you'd be better off with your douchewagon of an ex in this one- but I hope someone with just as messed up a mind as I do somewhere, likes this XD

Tags: @flowercrowns-goodvibesand @one-edgy-bitch

🔆🔆🔆

"Okayyy, haha. I've got to go, now," You grin, pulling away even as Marcus tries to follow you, and forcing a giggle at his playful actions before letting him go; Stepping back. "Breaks over, lover boy. Time to get back to work."

"Come on... "

"Don't 'come on', me... I'm coming over to your place after work!- you can wait til then!" Shaking your head at him with a gentle, perturbed grin on your face, you're about to step further away- when your phone suddenly dings. And as you pull it out of your pocket and take a look at the message, Marcus takes you by the hips and guides you back to him as he leans against the wall once again.

The next words uttered are from Marcus, and theirs a marginally more serious tone to his voice. Probably due to your sudden change in body language, getting stiffer, as you read the message. "Who's that?... " He asks quietly, thumbs brushing over the skin showing between your shirt and your jeans. You glance at him, heart racing suddenly, before swiftly pocketing the phone, and flashing a smile; But removing his hands from your body.

"Just a data alert." Yes, you feel bad for lying, but you aren't about to tell him that it was your ex boyfriend saying hi. That would be way too awkward.

What Marcus doesn't know, isn't going to hurt him.

Immediately that dumb, handsome smile returns to his face and you feel relief simmer in you. "Okay! So- you're definitely coming over tonight, right??"

You nod, quickly. "Definitely! Now, I gotta go take over for Garret! See ya!"

"Wait- " You'd already turned around to rush off... maybe to respond to that text you received, if your heart can calm down for a damn second... but Marcus' call makes you stop, turn around. He's now standing up straight, towering over you, and his arms wrap around your body once again; Pulling you up against his.

"Oh. Watch those hands, Marcus, remember we're at work~" You joke light-heartedly, at the advance, but your giggles are cut off abruptly when he kisses you. Its an oddly deep kiss, for the moment; His lips seeming to totally encompass you as he applies pressure, and you almost lose yourself in it. Almost getting dizzy, as you allow yourself to be deterred by him- afterall, that's why you're together. A good old romp to get your mind off a painful ex. A rebound.

The feeling of his hands drifting down a bit too far, though, wakes up. And you end the kiss- snatching up his wrists, and placing them back in front of him with playful wink. "What'd I say?"

Then you turn on his cheekily smirking face, and successfully walk off.

Marcus watches you turn the corner, before revealing your phone in his hand, which was hidden from your view as you had walked off, and switches it on as he leans back against the wall. Just chilling... snooping... Its fine. He had a pal in prison who did the exact same thing with his gal, and they're going strong 30 years, now. "Okay, Y/N... lets see what's really going on, here... "

When he sees the most recent message, not even opened yet, a disappointed frown immediately spreads across his face. He sighs. "Oh, Y/N... " Then, realising you did not start contact with your ex, on further inspection... Marcus' eyes narrow. A dangerously displeased, almost mad look appears in his eyes. "Oh, hell no."

Because he can talk to you. You're maybe having a bad day if you text your ex, and he can convince you that that's a bad idea.

But if its your ex texting you- that's a threat. Marcus has to do something about this.

He's not going to let you get swept away from him- he has a plan, see? Yeah, he agreed that what the two of you had would just be rebound fun... but that's just for now. You're going to fall for him; That's how it works. You two'll be regular romantic comedy material, he's sure. He's just got to convince you that this is right, then you're going to realise what he already knows, that you two are meant for each other, and rebound sex will turn into making love; He'll be your boyfriend, not just your Guy. And your husband, too, one day. He knows it'll work.

But this could destroy his chances entirely. This is a huge problem. He's got to get rid of this.

~

After getting to his place and returning your phone, convincing you that you must have accidentally shoved it in his pocket rather then yours seeing as you two were so wrapped up together- you and Marcus found yourselves in the kitchen... after fucking, that is. There's a tub of ice cream between you as you chat about your days, and Marcus is living. He cant help but think this is how it should be. You in his shirt, giggling at jokes he's made, eating ice cream after mind-blowing sex with him.

Him.

That should be every day!

And it will- as long as he can put you off your ex.

"Hm," He chuckles, loving the sound of your laughter when he throws a zinger at you... but, unfortunately, knowing he's gotta change tact soon, if he's going to make any headway today, with your whole... douchebag ex, situation. "So... when I realised I had your phone... I might have noticed something... "

Your spoon stops on its way to the ice cream, and its a dead give away that you're hiding something. Even though he knows what's going on, he hates that you haven't been honest with him. If you're going to be married some day, you're going to have to trust him. Every sturdy relationship is built on honesty, and trust. Oh, he'll teach you. "... Oh?... "

Feigning awkwardness, which is not hard at all because this is an awkward conversation, Marcus rolls his shoulders back before he starts. "Was that, um, your... ex? That texted you?"

Immediately, you droop. You leave your spoon in the ice cream tub, and avoid his gaze. Its cute. Sighing, you take a deep breath after a moment, and nod. "Yeah... it was." Good girl.

Marcus cant help but wonder whether you're nervous because he found out, though, or because this... guy... makes you nervous.

He wants to be the one making you nervous.

Faking a relaxed demeanour, though, Marcus shrugs; Focusing on the delicious treat between you. "What does that douchebag want?"

"Marcus!" You gasp, and his blood boils. What? He's not allowed to call your ex a douche? He left you!!

Ugh, he has to shut this down now.

"What? He hurt you, didn't he? 'M just being a good friend... Just a little... protective over you, you know? You don't deserve to be treated like that." And with him, you would never get hurt like that. God, why cant you just see that he's the right one for you? Why doe she have to jump through hoops?

Fuck, Y/N!

Marcus blood pressure is definitely rising as he works himself up, but he tries to stifle it; To shut it down. Because you look so fucking cute, blushing and embarrassed. "Yeah... I know." You speak softly, looking down at your lap. "I was just with him for long y-you know?? I just... he has me wrapped around his little finger, and I... I don't know... how to escape." You deflate like a sad balloon, pouting, and it takes everything in Marcus not to squeeze sense into you. He settles for taking one of your hands in his over the table; Being a comfort.

Oh... Y/N, you don't know anything about being wrapped around someone's finger. You've got him in a Chinese fucken finger trap. And you don't even know it!

"Hey," He pushes through the intrusive thoughts, thinking that you're such a bitch for saying these things to him, such a thoughtless, naïve, little bitch. Because he would never say those things to you, never. He loves you, and he would never want to make you feel sad... Even if you destroy him. "I get it. I do. But... its not forever, you know? I'm here to help you." He forces a kind smile, feeling it become real as you give one back; Optimism and warmth in your sweet, innocent face as you look up at him. Him! "And part of that, is not letting you text that asshole back."

"... You're sweet, Marcus."

A bashful grin flashes across his face. "You're sweeter."

Oh, that was such a sweet moment between us, Marcus thinks, grinning at you. That's what he craves.

Days full of cute moments like that between me, and my lovely little stay-at-home, mother-of-my-kids. My little, dumb wife.

A perfect life with her.

... Then you snort. "Haha- that was reeal cute, there. Lets try not to let it happen again, though, okay?" You giggle, visibly cringing as you return to the tub of ice cream, scraping out a nice mouthful of the creamy substance. Marcus feels his heart thud at it, though, and the grin is wiped clean off of his face.

... Stupid fucking bitch. What the hell was that!? That was foul. You really should get punished for something like that- you're just lucky you're not at that point, yet. When you're his, undoubtedly his... then... Well, then you'll just have to learn how to fucking behave.

For now though, Marcus pastes on a smile; Only squeezing your hand a little harder instead of telling you what for.

"Yeah, hah... Kinda dumb." He forces the words out, watching you grin and nod your head, sucking on the spoon. Rolling his shoulders once again to relieve the tension, Marcus moves on. "So... y'think you're gonna text that fucker back?"

Looking thoughtful for a moment, frowning as your eyes fall downcast and your teeth nibble on the end of the utensil between your teeth - honestly making Marcus a little hard at the sight, - , you honestly leave him hanging for a few moments... before you finally shrug. "I don't think so. You're right, he did hurt me, and... the easiest way to get over him, I guess, is to ignore him." Your eyes flicker up, wide and adorable, to his. "Right?"

"Totally."

When you smile, hop off the stool and onto his lap to finish the rest of the ice cream, Marcus smiles for real.

You're fucking perfect.

#Marcus' got a bit of a pat bateman thing going on here XDD #Superstore #Superstore x Reader #Yandere Fic #TW: Yandere #TW: Abuse Intent #Yandere!Marcus White x Fem!Reader Drabble #Marcus White x Reader Drabble #Marcus White x Reader #Marcus White #Superstore Marcus #Yandere!Marcus White

[zivazivc]

the morning (afternoon?) after this messy stunt. Floyd got off too easy in my opinion, but it's hard for Les to stay mad at him when he makes those sad pouting faces... 🤦

If you think Floyd's being really dumb at the start of this comic before getting a reality check, you have to take into account that he's madly lovesick and was feeling very smug atm; he's also a 15yo pop troll who thinks making out with someone means they're together now; and he assumed Les's sour mood was entirely the result of a nasty hangover...

P.S. They forgot about Hed lol (I almost forgot about him too, drew him just before posting lmao)

#trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls floyd #trolls oc #les #hed #ex bandmates #my art #pop trolls curse in their kid friendly lingo but rock trolls curse normal-style #it's just facts #i don't think les is being honest about how much what floyd pulled really upset him #he is a victim of much abuse growing up and some shit fucks him up more than the regular person #but he also knows floyd had no malicious intent and is just a kid #so he rather bottles it up to not upset both of them even more #amazing coping and communication skills this one 🤙 #he is trying his best tho #i can't tell if you guys can tell but he's basking in the sun in that one panel #trolls comic #this was a really fun way to explore les's character and their dynamic #also les and hed's dynamic #trigger warnings: #tw alcohol #tw smoking #les gives life advice then offers cigarettes uwu #also you know this dude's hair smells horrible if he stores cigarettes and koosh in there ksjfbsdkc

[bonefall]

So, your Clear Sky post is absolutely horrifying, but it was very needed, so thank you. What are your general thoughts on tackling his abuse for the AU? Like you've said, pretending he's a good guy is not the way to go, but are you planning on toning down *some* of the situations, just to give some of the cats a break? Clear Sky is a very realistic depiction of abusers, but that seems to come across even without victim number 25, yknow? I'm very curious about how you'd like to go about this.

My most recent big change was bringing Slash back into the fold, because I realized that it was actually a disservice to not address where DOTC's themes dip into Colonialism. It's a hard topic, and I'm still trying to work out the details, but I realized it was important.

With how BB!DOTC is such a MASSIVE overhaul, to properly address abuse and the ways it impacts you, ableism and its violence, and xenophobia broadly, a huge reworking of Slash belonged here too. He's one of the greatest examples of how badly WC demonizes non-Clanborn cats. I shouldn't dance around it.

That's what I need to do with Skystar.

MANY of his victims have happier endings than canon, though. Bumble is one of the most famous, bumped up into a major character and directly responsible for the formation of ThunderClan. Bright Storm is taking most of Gray Wing's roles. Birch and Alder are getting examined, with either a father who wants his kids back or Milkweed as the mate of Misty.

A lot of people will die because of him, even more will be hurt, but I see BB!DOTC as a story about victims and survivors.

Others might grab POVs here and there, but as a response to canon which I feel is Clear Sky's story told in many parts, I center this rewrite around Thunder Storm. The path of kindness he marches down, with love and with anger, and the people he helps.

So BB!Star Flower...

Previously I was playing her as ENTIRELY just manipulating Clear Sky. She was loyal to One Eye and trying to get at Skystar to bleed him dry for 8 lives to sacrifice; but connected to Thunderstar over recognizing him as a victim who deserves her idea of justice. So, she offers Thunderstar the final kill, so her father will be grateful to him and he'll get power AND the death of his abuser.

(When Thunderstar looks upon Skystar, pathetic and neutralized down to one life, he thinks about the collateral damage that will descend upon the forest if he accepts the deal. He decides that he has found the line between Justice and Justification. Of course he wants the power to make his enemies cower, protect his people, and eliminate Clear Sky so he never threatens them again; that's not the problem.

He can still do these things. He wouldn't NEED the power of a war god to do so.

But if One Eye returns, he will be endlessly hungry, ruthlessly dedicated to revenge, and set out to devour the whole forest. Everything would get worse, and even more people he loves would die. It's where his desire to destroy a monster would lead to him BECOMING one.)

Even on its face, it was previously missing an element. There's a step between "Starf decides to bring One Eye back" and "Starf offers Thunderstar the final kill" that was bare. This is the piece that was missing-- That she, herself, is trying to reach out to the only person who's ever really understood her.

But more importantly... I do feel this topic belongs here, in BB!DOTC. Abuse is a MAJOR theme. SKYSTAR is a monster already. He's harmed two wives in BB (Bright Storm and Falling Cry) and played toxic games with all three kits (Thunder Storm, Pale Sky, Tiger Sky).

And I'd avoid Star Flower being abused... why? Because it's uncomfortable to confront the pattern that Clear Sky displays? That in-canon, he tries to cut all his victims into the same ideal shape, from Storm to Thunder to Star Flower? ...it should be uncomfortable. Everything that I described in Clear Sky Is A Monster is rooted in the same desire for control, power, and punishment most abusive people share, he just happens to be a severe example.

Yes. That includes how he treats his child and romantic partners. The parallels that are drawn between Starf and Thunder are there because he wants power in the form of obedience. Starf replaces the son as a narrative award for his "growth" of not killing random people anymore for a while.

A cookie cutter is an effective tool because IT ONLY MAKES ONE SHAPE.

You know what's more uncomfortable? Reading canon!DOTC and seeing someone who hurt you reflected almost perfectly in the character the writers think did nothing wrong. Because of "good intentions" that were not there.

I will say though, just to be clear; I don't see a purpose in being more than PG-13 about serious topics for this project. I promise none of my intentions have changed. Nothing will be more graphic or gorey than canon WC-- just more intentional.

I'm keeping the sacrifice because it's dope. No one is taking this from me. Girl Moment: Killed her awful husband 8 times to count as 8 sacrifices and offered the last life to her buddy as a show of good will. How else do you make friends outside of high school

But I know now that Star Flower NEEDS to keep the canon fact she has very little agency, UNTIL that moment she snaps.

She's sacrificing one abuser to try and bring back a bigger, badder one, because in spite of everything, her father One Eye always made her feel safe. Even though he promised her off to Skystar, and expected her to be willing to die for him. She's followed every command, every order, past the death of his mortal vessel.

The first, and only, selfish choice she's ever made was in reaching out to Thunderstar to offer him the power of her father.

Thunderstar's Justice is a story about a Thunder Storm at the pinnacle of his arc, how the survivors of his Clan are settling into the new normal after the carnage of The First Battle, how Skystar's arrogance brings a violent god to the Forest... and the connection Thunderstar makes with the daughter of a monster.

#Kronk meme: ''Oh Yeah. It's all coming together'' #I'll be making the fragments in another post #Just because this one's getting really long #It works well as an explanation of my intentions #I think I had been making a mistake previously to conceive of BB!Starf as a femme fatale who seduced Sky #Again: I'm not perfect! As I analyze and re-read with a more critical eye. My art changes. #Tho I will admit I do like the idea of a Starf who is totally cognizant of how she can manipulate a villain #Into doing what she wants. I do love myself a powerful and scheming woman #It's that it didn't fit my story or my themes OR even the purpose of BB as a fixit that addresses canon #Better bones au #BB!DOTC #BB!Star Flower #BB!Skystar #BB!Thunder Storm #Also imo this philosophy will let me make BB!One Eye what I think he deserves and works best as #THE WORSE OF TWO EVILS #The Tyrant of Tyrants #And man.... the idea that Skystar becomes the Clan patron of war... #The God of Summer laughs at him. #''Outdone and reeling your wounded pride speaks the words your tender mouth can never say'' #''That you were outclassed and now you obsess over the bigger monster you aren't good enough to become'' #''You fell into the step of a lion and think you can replicate what my paw does without effort.'' #Cw abuse #Tw abuse #Abuse #Child abuse

[lacystar]

Treating Wilbur as I do dream currently: Expect to see stuff for his character still reblogged, but I won’t tag for him anymore, and I’m disengaging with him as a content creator at this time. Don’t ask me anything else about this, I don’t want to talk about it.

Still probably gonna be offline for a while bc I’m still processing and need to not be barraged by opinions rn. Mostly posting this so I can run my queue. Staying on the content grindset 💪

At the advice of Shelby and her mods, I’m not going to speak his name like this again because he is not the point. Shelby is. But if I didn’t say anything I figured people would think I was ignoring it, which I’m not. I’m gonna continue my break and I hope you all are taking care.

As a final note:

This has brought a lot of attention to Shelby that she didn’t have before and for good reason. But please do not make her abuse into her fame. If this has compelled you to subscribe to her, follow her, and support her, then stay for her and not for her hurt. Watch her streams, engage with her. Be normal. Don’t ask her more, even if it’s from a place of good intention. She’s more than a victim: she is an artist and businesswoman just as much as every other streamer you love. She isn’t “the streamer who was abused by xyz,” she’s shubble. Let her return be welcome and supportive, but please let her get back into the routine she wants. Normalcy is probably the thing she wants most right now, and the best we can do is help her achieve that.

#finally: I have the right to change my opinion. that’s what humans do if they get new information #I’m worried I phrased some of this very poorly and I’m sorry in advance if I did #as always there’s not a nice way to just say everything in my mind in a neat little way #please trust that if I worded something bad I meant it with good intentions 😭 #and please correct me but know I probably won’t see it for a while. being off tumblr is good and I want to keep that goodness going #alright. talk later ❤️ #abuse tw #discourse #wilbur situation #long post

[the-crimson]

Some more late night after stream thoughts. I’m watching Tina now while getting ready to sleep and she was just talking about how Cucurucho was so nice and silly and idk if she’s being serious cuz I rarely watch her but it’s got me thinking about how so many people dismiss Cellbit’s experience with Cucurucho because their personal experience was either delightful or neutral/positive.

Tw discussions of abuse and manipulation

It reminds me of real life abusers and people who abuse systems of power. They get away with their abuse for so long because their external persona with everyone but their victims is pleasant and reasonable and often times kind and helpful. No one believes or takes their victims seriously because their stories don’t line up with their personal experiences with this person.

This happens so often in real life it’s kinda bizarre seeing it happen so openly on the qsmp with so many of the characters choosing to turn a blind eye, q!Jaiden being the most extreme example - but q!Jaiden is also a victim of the federation just in a vastly different way than the Brazilians.

Oh this terrible thing happened to this person? Well Cucurucho is so nice to me and always blows bubbles and gives me things and is just silly and whimsy so… either this person is exaggerating or they probably did something to deserve it.

Which leads to another thing many abusers do: turn their victims against each other. Q!Jaiden had been isolated by the cucuruchos and spent a month with only them in which it can be inferred they spent the entire time manipulating her into favoring them even more than she already did, to the point where she said she doesn’t care what they did to Cellbit. Turning victims against each other to keep the focus away from the fact that they are the ones causing everyone’s pain.

That is also exactly what the election was intended to accomplish and it did, as we are seeing with Forever and Bad. The rift between them is only going to grow and there is nothing either of them can do to stop it because their core ideologies are incompatible. Bad is doing his damndist to give forever the benefit of the doubt and try to help him but nothing Forever does will ever satisfy Bad’s hatred of systems of government so this rift between them will never be healed.

This is how governments and abusers both keep their power. Turning people against each other. Giving privileges to some as an example of how benign they are while actively hurting others behind closed doors. Isolating their victims from the outside world so the abuser is the only person they can turn to. It’s all text book and it’s working on many of the islanders. Hell, people go missing every other day and no one blinks an eye anymore. They’ve become so desensitized to the federation’s abusive tactics because they don’t know how to fight back, not really.

At this point, the main method of resistance they can show is true unity within their community. The islanders built a community without the federation - who initially tried to separate them via the wall - and that community is theirs. They need to unite against cucurucho and the federation or they’ve already lost. There is no working with the federation because compliance is taking part in your own oppression.

#qsmp #crimson speaks #tw abuse #idk I’m rambling at this point #the admins have done an excellent job building the federation as a corrupting force #they are so insidious in their evil #as Bad has said #the islanders are in a boiling pot and the federation is slowly ever so slowly turning up the heat #it’s very intentional #the Brazilians were a mistake and thus have experienced the brunt of the federation’s evil #they are the canary in a coal mine #this is what the federation does to mistakes

[lunar-years]

I could possibly have stomached James being back and forgiven apparently, if it wasn't for the casually dropped in statutory rape, what on earth?? The writers were probably trucking along with their "everyone deserves forgiveness" train, meanwhile anyone with a jot of common sense had air raid sirens screaming "DO NOT LET THAT MAN NEAR JAMIE". I'd have been angry with the forgiveness side anyway (we see no signs that James is trying to be a better person or even that hes not going to try and beat the shit out of his son again, for all we know thats a court mandated rehab), but I could have sort of understood it. Adding in that fun little fact made James go from terrible horrific abuser to just completely unforgiveable.

honestly i completely agree with you. I know this is a very divisive arc and there were people who genuinely loved where they took it because it resonated with them in some way, especially for some people who have been through similar experiences and appreciated the recognition that someone like James could successfully change. I really try to accept and understand fans who have that opinion and I want to be very clear that I both recognize addiction is a disease and think there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to or actually forgiving your abuser. Each situation is different! People suffering from addiction can absolutely recover! Individuals need to do what is right for them in their real actual lives, etc.

That said, the parts I loathe about the Jamie & James arc, from my own personal opinion, are:

any sort of relationship Jamie and James may have moving forward post-canon is inherently a complex one, but the writers did not address the conclusion of the arc complexly. At all. Instead it was "oh everything conveniently worked out and here they are happy and together" wrapped up in a 10 second flash-forward which is just...no.

there is absolutely no evidence that James' violence stems directly from his addiction. there is nothing to say a sober James isn't every bit as abusive as a drunken James. There is no indication that Jamie isn't putting himself back into a situation that is downright unsafe, or that he isn't at risk of coming into harm and being deeply hurt all over again. there is nothing to say James hasn't tried rehab before, and relapsed.

James never apologizes or owns up to his actions onscreen.

Jamie's decision to forgive his dad comes at a time when he's in a very vulnerable place mentally, having just come off a canonical depressive episode. He consults no one about forgiving his father apart from Ted, who is quite literally the worst person on the show he could have consulted (no offense, Ted, it's just that the man is incapable of being objective when it comes to Jamie and the father&son of it all). The decision isn't being made in a healthy state of mind and Jamie hasn't rallied a support group around him before taking the leap. From what we see on screen, he seemingly doesn't tell anyone that he's going to visit his dad in rehab.

there's a way that all of this can make sense. I can make sense of why Ted, with his own heaping helping of daddy issues, would give Jamie the advice he does. I can see why Jamie (again, in a vulnerable place) would take it! why he decides the right thing to do is to reach out to his dad! I can see him going to visit. I can imagine that visit going well or going poorly, can see James' stint in rehab being mandated, or also him checking himself it. But at the end of the day, those scenarios are all imagined! none of that nuanced context is provided on the show. Rather, the presentation and messaging are hasty and in my person opinion, flat-out dangerous. They lead the casual viewer to read Ted's advice as good (it categorically isn't), and Jamie as Doing the Right and Responsible Thing, when it's a hell of a lot more complicated that that.

it is also weird and complicated to have Jamie take Ted's advice over his mum's, who in the same episode, mind you, told him James was never ever going to change. again, we can jump through hoops to make sense of it, but we shouldn't have to.

there's absolutely a pattern of abuse being weirdly minimized on ted lasso/victims forgiving their abusers and i think that's gross. you can't claim to be a comedy show that dares to tackle real, tough issues in one breath and then expect us to laugh off abuse (Jane/Beard) in the next. Sometimes it's like they change what kind of show they want to be scene by scene, lol.

as you point out, in my opinion it is completely batshit on the writer's part to have introduced "btw Jamie's dad, who we've previously established beats him and verbally abuses him, ALSO proxy raped him when he was 14!" in the same season in which you plan to have Jamie forgive said father (with next to no buildup or context) just a few episodes later. Like, yes, let's add even deeper layers to Jamie's tragic backstory before we wash it away in feel-good reunion tosh! just, ew. what on earth were they thinking.

So all in all, I think the arc could have been successful if the writers had known where they were going with it from the beginning of the season and given it the kind of care that sort of storyline demands. However they didn't do that, and the end message is incredibly harmful as a result.

#from strictly what we see on screen. i think there are for more signs that this ISN'T going to work out then there are for it going well #if the writers want us to believe it was a positive step for Jamie they should have. you know. actually written that with intent and care. #james tartt sr #jamie tartt #ted lasso #asks #tw abuse #tw rape mention #ted lasso critical

[0809sysblings]

Kotoko thoughts ft Amane

YONAH and Deep Cover spoilers

going crazy over all the info we got from YONAH and Deep Cover. i really really really REALLY love her little diss track at the end of Deep Cover. it like. it just shows that what she really hates is not necessarily Evil, but Weakness. which i think she associates the two in some ways. to let yourself be controlled by your emotions and to have that stop you from doing what "needs to be done", that is what weakness is to her, i think... she isn't weak because she believes she isn't easily influenced by her personal feelings. she believes that she doesn't let emotions blind her judgement and keep her from doing what needs to be done. Unlike Everyone Else 🙄!

all of this fits really well with the speculation that she may have been abused in some way growing up. and that creates a very interesting parallel between her and Amane. Amane believes that undergoing trials and never giving up will make her stronger, better, and more worthy of living. Kotoko believes that to become better and stronger, you must be punished and face the consequences without being given any mercy. showing mercy will only encourage further Evil.

but we do know that Amane both wants to give others mercy and wants others to give her mercy. that's what she wants, but it conflicts with what she's been taught all her life. Kotoko though doesn't seem to even want to entertain the idea of mercy. she knows that mercy will only encourage weakness and Evil. she has no hope that mercy could do anyone any good.

this part in YONAH made me go insane. (translation source)

Kotoko: In order to stop someone, you have to squeeze their throat. Without mercy.

bc then we have those lyrics from The Purge March...

So nary a sound can be uttered a second time, I’ll crush your throat too

i have many more thoughts but they're all incoherent

#rambles #Kotoko #Amane #tw child abuse #yonah spoilers #deep cover spoilers #milgram spoilers #vibrating aggressively #vibrating with intent to kill

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusive parents will look you in the eye and say ‘I should have beaten you worse when you were a kid’, and then still pretend they’re good damn parents! They will actively wish that they traumatized you worse, in your face, as if that’s not the most terrifying, hateful, vile and disgusting thing to say to someone, and still pretend they had any kind of good intentions towards you as a child! They’re expressing literal regret that you’re not smaller and more vulnerable again so they could brutalize you into terror, injure you into obedience! As if they didn’t already do that, as if you’re not already at the end of your wits just trying to cope with that hatred and violence! They’re regretting that their trauma conditioning didn’t grant them more power and control over you! That they could still force their way and erase your will and humanity and reason by hurting the child-like, younger and infinitely more vulnerable version of you! Who wouldn’t be able to fight back or understand what is going on! That’s what they’re saying! That’s fucking terrifying! Evil! Predatory! Despicable!

I truly believe whoever says this to a child should not exist anymore. No child or adult deserves to know someone would want to inflict this kind of harm onto them. Nobody deserves to know that a family member, a caretaker, a parent, someone they once did, or still do, love, would want to hurt them in the worst way possible.

#trauma causes #tw violence mention #cptsd #abusive parents #trauma conditoning #terrorizing children #this is their 'good intentions' #wishing they were worse #thats what they truly regret #not hurting you worse #fucking despicable demons #go back to hell and leave children alone #toxic parents #psychological abuse

[lesbianspeedy]

Society if fandom actually discussed the almost unexplored FIFTEEN years of Mia’s life before Ollie, instead using it and the attached trauma and resulting HIV+ diagnosis to check off boxes for why shes an interesting character:

This is gonna discuss her backstory, please head the TWs on this post for mentions of trafficking, abuse, rape, and drug use.

Really though, fifteen years. Ages 1-11 spent at home, 11-15 on the street, how was her relationship with her mother before she died? Did she have friends from school? She once mentioned she lived somewhere else before moving to star city, even that she “worked at the rec centre back home” did she move with her father, or was that something she did alone? Did she have other family, did anyone try to help her?

She learnt how to survive on the streets, but did someone teach her? @batphobique​ has a great hc of giving Mia Marianne’s friends, as she was pretty much based off of her for the new era of ga, is she still in contact with anyone she knew?

She was a child trafficked into sex work, forced to do drugs to stay alive, only given a second chance at being a kid at the age of fifteen. Yet no one seems to ever discuss how this upbringing and tragedy seperates her from the rest of the family, how it informs her world-view and affects how she sees the city she protects. Her relationship with Ollie is incredibly important, he’s the first adult that sees her as a child, and in the beginning its hard for her to seperate an adult figure that genuinely cares about her from an adult figure who wants to use her, because the last father figure she had abused and raped her for years. Ignoring that takes so much away from their dynamic and relationship.

Mia is an incredible character, despite the horrible circumstances of her life, she is still full of life and hope and the want and need to just do good and help people, like she wishes someone had helped her. She has horrible memories and traumas yet she’s sarcastic and full of it and loves the people she is surrounded by. She’s so far removed from the “perfect victim” trope so often seen in media that i understand it’s sometimes easy to ignore the ���bad” and embrace the “good” but i also think thats so boring and often even leads to people forgetting she IS a victim. A lot of her personality is born of coping mechanisms, ignoring the root of it because its uncomfortable to discuss is just odd. Her past doesn’t define her, but it does inform her character, and it’s important that it isn’t swept away.

#mia dearden #green arrow #dc comics #arrowfam #speedy #tw trafficking mention #tw drugs #tw drug mention #tw rape #tw rape mention #tw abuse mention #i am absolutely guilty of this btw #thats mostly because i struggle with writing long form text posts #but seriously #this is probably extremely rambley #and theres a chance i worded something poorly in here im not sure not my intention #please dont hesitate to point it out to me if you think something is weird #okay bye

[recoveringdreamer]

TIMING: current (just after the road to hell) LOCATION: the grit pit SUMMARY: after his ‘discussion’ with wyatt and zane, leo decides it’s time to show felix a thing or two about consequences.  CONTENT: domestic abuse, emotional abuse

The call came in late. Felix had only just fallen asleep, exhausted after a particularly grueling fight at work. It had gone long — something their handlers and the audience greatly enjoyed, even if Felix themself hated it. It had been a pretty bloody one, too; they’d spent a good hour under the steady stream of water in their shower, trying to scrub the blood from their skin. By the time they finally crawled under their comforter, they’d almost stopped shaking. Their eyes were heavy, and it didn’t take long for them to slip shut.

But then the phone rang.

It startled them at first. The sudden jolt into awakeness sent their heart into their throat, the adrenaline they thought they’d left in the ring after the fight seeping back in and making their breath catch. It took a moment to pinpoint the source of the shrill sound, to remember where they’d left their phone on the bedside table. They fumbled with it for a moment, not bothering to check the caller ID before answering. There was really only one person who’d call with such little regard for Felix’s rest.

“H’llo?” They slurred, tongue still heavy with sleep.

For a moment, they were greeted with silence. There was deep, measured breathing coming from the other end of the line, but nothing more than that. Felix wished they could just hang up, but they knew it wasn’t a good idea. Leo had always had a temper; the end of their relationship didn’t grant Felix freedom from its consequences. 

Finally after a few more unsettling seconds of silence, the voice at the other end of the line spoke in a low tone. “I spoke with your friends tonight,” Leo said, and the cold anger was so achingly familiar. Felix sat up in their bed, their heart pounding. Instinctively, they looked behind them, as if Leo might manifest in their bedroom, as if he would crawl out from beneath the bed or stumble out of the closet like the monster every child knew haunted the dark corners of their rooms. But Felix’s room was empty. It was only them here. 

(This did nothing to ease the fear.)

“I, um… I’m not sure who you mean,” they said, and they hated how small they sounded. They hated that, with nothing more than a sharp word, Leo could undo every ounce of progress they told themself they’d made. They weren’t the warm, sometimes-funny person who had friends like Mona and Teagan and Anita, weren’t the helpful hand who’d volunteer to offer Wyatt assistance he didn’t need in the kitchen or try to carry more of Luci’s groceries than they had hands for. They were the person they’d been on the worst days of their relationship with Leo — the one who hardly came out from beneath the comforter because they knew they’d get something wrong, the one who had a panic attack because they forgot to pick up batteries for the remote even after they’d been reminded. 

“Of course you don’t.” Leo scoffed, and Felix could picture him throwing his hands up in the air in frustration the way he so often had. “God. You’re just as stupid as ever, aren’t you? I don’t know what would be worse — if this was an act you were putting on to fool everyone, or if you really were just this fucking useless. It’s humiliating, you know. So much of you is fucking humiliating. I don’t know how you manage.”

Felix swallowed. They shut their eyes, leaned back against the headboard. They were trembling, and they wished they could grow enough ot a spine to just hang up the fucking phone, but it was like it was glued to their ear. They couldn’t hang up and they couldn’t speak. Just like when they had shared a home with Leo, their job became to be still and quiet and do whatever was expected of them. Leo would let them know what that was; he always did.

And Felix never had to wait long.

“Come to the Pit,” Leo demanded.

“I… I just got off.” Felix’s voice was small, still. “I’m really tired. I was going to…”

“Come to the fucking Pit.” His tone left no room for argument now. “If you’re here in ten minutes, maybe I won’t be quite as pissed off.” 

It was an impossible task, and Leo knew it. Even if Felix hadn’t been in bed already, shirtless and shoeless and half asleep, there was no way for them to make it to the Grit Pit in ten minutes. They lived at least fifteen minutes away. Still, they found themself rushing, tripping over themself to try to meet an impossible standard. It took them seventeen minutes to get there; they were hyperaware of every second of it.

When they did pull into the parking lot and stumble through the doors, Leo was already waiting for them. He’d probably been there before making the call, probably been stewing in whatever was pissing him off. Felix still wasn’t sure what it was, though he knew he’d find out. Leo wasn’t particularly secretive about what made him angry.

“Jesus, about fucking time,” Leo grumbled, stomping over to meet Felix at the door. His hand shot out to grip the balam’s wrist, twisting it as he yanked them towards the offices. Felix stumbled to follow, closing the door behind them.

“What — Uh, what —”

“A little gator told me you’re unhappy with your contract,” Leo snapped.

Felix flinched. All at once, the pieces fell into place. Wyatt had been hankering to take action ever since Felix confessed the nature of their employment with the Grit Pit, but they thought — Wyatt said he wouldn’t say anything to Leo. Didn’t he? He said. 

But clearly, something had happened. Leo was steaming as he yanked Felix into his office, slamming the door shut behind them. Felix flinched at the sound, shrinking so far into himself that they were practically folded in half. 

“I — I didn’t — I wouldn’t —” Felix stammered, desperate to find some excuse that would save them without damning Wyatt. He’d only been trying to help. Felix knew that. He wouldn’t have done whatever he’d done if he hadn’t cared about Felix, and he didn’t deserve to be thrown under the bus for that.

“I didn’t — I wouldn’t — I — I,” Leo’s voice was shrill and mocking, and Felix’s jaw snapped shut quickly. “God, you’re so fucking pathetic. How much brainpower do you use trying to string a sentence together? It must be close to all of it. How do you make it through the fucking day, Fe, honestly? I really want to know.” 

But he didn’t. That was the thing about Leo — he asked questions, but he never wanted them answered. In their braver moments, Felix allowed themself to think about the way Leo just liked to hear himself talk, allowed themself to lament on the fact that he probably enjoyed the sound of his own voice more than just about anything else in the world. But this wasn’t one of their braver moments. There was no private joke to share with themself at the way Leo rambled, clearly only trying to be the loudest thing in the room. In moments like this one, Felix was an ant who’d found itself in the floor of a kitchen with the knowledge that it had just been spotted. The sole of a shoe was already hanging over their head; all they could do was wait for it to drop and crush them into nothing.

“Your buddy Lockjaw attacked me tonight,” Leo spat, and Felix flinched. “Had his hands around my throat. Do you know what he wanted?” There was a pause, though not one long enough for Felix to speak. They knew what was expected of them here — it wasn’t a verbal response. “He wanted me to let you go.” Leo punctuated it with a bitter laugh, and Felix tried not to start hyperventilating. It only ever made Leo angrier when they did. “Let you go! Like I’m not the best thing that ever happened to you. God, you’d still be living in the fucking woods if I hadn’t dragged you into society. You know that, don’t you? Everything you’ve got, you owe to me. You’re the one who fucked with my life. You, and all your pathetic fucking whining. It was suffocating. And then, I get you this job, and I think, hey, that’s the end of it. But it’s not, is it? It never fucking is. You’re still fucking shit up for me.”

It was a familiar tirade. Felix knew it by heart. They were an embarrassment, they were stupid, they were helpless. Leo was their savior, and they’d only ever made his life worse. They were lucky he’d put up with them as long as he had, should be grateful to him for it. He was kind and understanding and forgiving and they were foolish and useless and clingy. Nothing he’d ever done was wrong, and nothing they’d ever done was right. Most days, it was easy to reject it all. Or, at least, easier than it used to be. Felix still struggled to untangle things sometimes, but they had people in their life who made it easier now. Most days. Tonight, with lack of sleep lowering their inhibitions and anxiety thrumming in their chest, it was harder. Leo’s shirt was crumbled around the collar, and Felix could imagine Wyatt’s hands gripping it. They hated the guilt that sunk into their chest at the sight, hated the way all they wanted to do was apologize. They should have been stronger than this by now. They should have been better.

“I’m sorry.” The words slipped out almost without their permission. They wondered if Wyatt would be ashamed of them if he heard, if he’d regret wasting his time standing up for someone who couldn’t even stand up for themself.

“You should be,” Leo scoffed. “He had your other friend with him, too, you know. The one from the boiler room.” Zane. Felix didn’t offer up his name, only looked down at their trembling fingers. “God, what did you do, Fe? Did you sell them some sob story? Convince them you’re a stray in need of rescue? Fucking look at me.” Fingers gripped their chin, jerking their head up and forcing their eyes to meet Leo’s. The grip was tight; they’d probably have bruises. It didn’t loosen, even as they held their head up to maintain the eye contact. “You know there are going to be consequences, right?”

Fear was a jackrabbit in their chest. It thumped its feet against the ground, it dug and dug and dug and tried to tunnel its way to some kind of safety. “Leo, wait a minute.” Their voice was slightly muffled, mouth unable to move around the words thanks to the hand still gripping their chin. “They didn’t — They didn’t mean it. They’re not… Please, don’t — They don’t understand. That’s all. I can tell them, I can explain it better, just don’t… They don’t deserve to be…”

“Relax, babe.” The pressure on their chin increased to something far more painful before disappearing as Leo released them. “They’ll be fine. I promised them they wouldn’t see any consequences. It’s not really their fault, is it?” 

Felix’s heart sank. They wanted to look down again, but they forced their neck to stay in its upright position. Looking away would only bring that vice grip back to their chin, and they knew it. They swallowed, chest tight. “No,” they whispered. “It’s not their fault.”

“Right.” Leo smiled, but there was no comfort in it. It was sharp and dangerous, and Felix felt sick. “You’re the one who fucked up. You know that, don’t you?” He waited for Felix to nod, bringing a hand up to pat the side of their face. “So, what do we do with you? Hm? I’ve tried so many things already. More fights? We could put you up against Razor again, another three night event. Less fights? It’d be a shame if you couldn’t afford to keep your stomach full. But we’ve done that before, haven’t we? Nothing ever sticks. You’re such a bad learner. It’s a little sad, really, just how fucking stupid you are. We need a good lesson this time. One that really gets through that thick, idiotic skull of yours. It’s gotta be something that really drills itself in there, don’t you think?”

Felix’s eyes slipped shut for a moment, burning. Leo must have calmed himself down a little, because he didn’t punish the lapse. When their eyes opened again — vision blurrier now — he was still smiling, sharp and dangerous.

“I think,” he said slowly, “I’d like to be able to keep a closer eye on you. Obviously you need a little bit of a chaperone. That’s my fault, really. I should’ve known better than to release a wild animal out on its own without any guidance, right?” 

Fuck you. They’d say it if they were stronger. Wyatt would have. Samir, too. But Felix was a coward, just as they’d always been, and they were silent, just as they’d always been. Whatever punishment Leo dreamed up, they probably wouldn’t get much of a say in the matter.

“First thing’s first!” Leo clapped his hands together, and Felix flinched at the way it echoed. “I did a nice thing for you tonight. I didn’t punish your friends for falling for your bullshit. Wasn’t that good of me? Aren’t you grateful?” He leaned in, so close that Felix could feel his hot breath on their throat. They knew what was expected of them here, too, but they didn’t want to give it. They pursed their lips, trying to maintain eye contact without falling apart. 

A hand came up, gripped at the back of their neck harshly. “Come on, Fe.” Leo’s voice was lower now, dangerous. “Mind your manners. I’d hate to stop being so nice.”

Their eyes slipped shut again, and the grip tightened. “Thank you.” It was as if the words had been clawed from their mouth, as if their throat had held onto them for as long as it possibly could before giving in. The grip loosened, the looming presence leaned back. Hands clapped together again, just as loud and terrifying as before. Felix’s flinch was just as violent.

“There we go. Now. To repay that thanks… I think we’re done with that apartment of yours for a while. You’ll be sleeping here until further notice. Think of all the time it’ll save you on the commute! I’ll throw a mattress in that boiler room you like so much. I don’t think the rats are too bad but, hey! You’re a cat. Think of it as enrichment, sweetheart.” 

It felt like the world was closing in around them. It was a small thing, their apartment. It was nothing fancy, it was sparsely decorated, the water heater leaked and the fridge didn’t get very cold, but it was theirs. It was a space they had that was their own, a space Leo had never touched and their father had never tainted. The idea of losing it pulled a shuddering breath from their chest. It would have been a sob had they not known firsthand just how much that would piss Leo off. 

“And another thing!” It felt like there was ice in their veins. He wasn’t done. Unsurprising, really, given Leo’s temper. He was never satisfied tearing things apart in halves. He needed to pull the goddamn world down. Felix forced their eyes open again, forced themself to look because they were supposed to. “Your fights have gotten sloppy. We’re going to fix that, too. From now on, I want to see less Felix in that ring, more jaguar. Your buddy made a great point tonight — people don’t want to see you looking human. They want to know what kind of an animal you are. If I see you in that ring less than… let’s say three-fourths shifted? You won’t like what happens.”

Something that close to a complete shift would give Felix next to no control in the ring, and they knew Leo knew that. They knew that was the point. But what could they say? The perimeters of their contract gave Leo enough control to tell them exactly how they ought to fight. Already, they swore they could feel the strings tightening, the noose around their throat. 

Leo smiled again. He stepped forward, invading Felix’s space with little regard for their comfort. His hand came up, patted their cheek like before. There was nothing fond in the gesture, though they used to mistake it for such. They did a good job not flinching now, but they couldn’t hide the grief in their eyes. Judging by the smug expression on Leo’s face, it was exactly what he’d been looking for.

“I think this was a productive little meeting!” Leo’s smile widened into a grin, and he took a step backwards. “Really, I had fun. Did you have fun?” Felix was silent, and Leo nodded as if answering his own question. “Yeah. All right! What’s say we get you set up in your new space, hm? You should try to get some sleep, Fe, really. You look like shit.”

(They certainly felt like it.)

#self para #good intentions #wickedswriting #emotional abuse tw #domestic abuse tw

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

watching episode ten and the contrast between kaji recognising asuka is literally obviously a child and being incredibly uncomfortable with her making moves on him vs misato who’s entire job is basically grooming children into combat and who has her own issues with expressing herself so she acts suggestively towards shinji despite obviously having no interest in him and seeing him more like a little brother or a son is really interesting. nerv, as a whole, are predatory towards the children piloting the evas, and while they’re not being sexually groomed what’s happening to them to make them child soldiers is still like, literally child grooming, and i don’t think the contrast between that and misato and kaji's response to their respective ward is unintentional. misato is instinctively defaulting to the same thing that’s basically her job description even though she clearly isn’t doing it intentionally, whereas kaji is uncomfortable with the idea of taking advantage of asuka in a sexual way (as he should be, she’s a literal child) but either hasn’t or doesn’t want to come to terms with the fact that he’s taking advantage of her in non-sexual ways and that grooming, even though it’s non-sexual, is most likely a large reason why she and the other children often act out sexually in ways that aren’t entirely typical of young teenagers.

#just. ugh. i love this show and how it explores the children's trauma #I don’t even know how much is intentional and how much is me just reading into shit too hard but I’m enjoying it so who gives a shit #honestly like. giant robot fights are great but I’m more invested in these children's fucked up psychology. #neon genesis evangelion #abuse tw #child grooming tw

[uncanny-tranny]

I saw somebody discuss it a while back ago, but it was so affirming and I wanted to open a similar discussion here...

I've noticed in myself and others this intense (genuine) trigger response to people not understanding us or our words or whatever it may be, and it can feel so important that you correct people, that people know you, not a shitty cut-out version of you.

I think this is a valid response, of course. It is completely understandable, and I get where it comes from. When I was in the middle of abuse, I was misrepresented in order to be abused, so it can be a genuine trigger for something "small" you said, did, or are to be misinterpreted or twisted into something it isn't. It turns from, "this person didn't bother reading what I'm saying," to, "this person might be just like them, they're going to hurt me."

My overall point is that a huge part of living is this misinterpretation of you or your character, and it isn't your fault, and it isn't in your control. Hell, even, a huge aspect of language itself is in not being able to fully represent you or what you're saying because language is interpretive and based (in part) on other people's interpretation of what you said. They fill in the blanks with their own experiences, desires, or their own character, and at some point, it isn't really about you, you know?

My biggest piece of advice is learning how to let people be wrong. This shit, of trying to correct every single person? Personally, I have found it to be exhausting, and it feels like I'm blaming myself not only for everybody's interpretation of every little thing I do but also for abuse that led to this intense of a response. It's really hard to let people be wrong, yes, but it also has allowed me and permitted me to be more interested in my own life, not in my life in other people's brains. It's given me that specific freedom from abuse, from worry.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #abuse tw #abuse mention tw #no this isn't me saying that only abuse survivors feel this way because it is a very human and very normal emotion #*however* i have also found that abuse trauma can exaggerate that normal emotion into something more sinister #just like my trauma disorders are exaggerations of normal emotions. #this is mostly for clarity but i am aware of how other people can (and will) misinterpret this #i try my best to be clear in my intentions because it is my responsibility but i am also aware... #...that there is only so much i can do before it is excessive. because i can be 100000% careful and people will misinterpret meaning... #...or whatever it may be. that's a part of life. weirdly enough but having this blog... #...has taught me something about being misinterpreted because i have seen so much horrific accusations of me being levied... #...with no evidence. with no proof. that part of me did feel triggered by that because that shit was used by people who abused me... #...but that wasn't my fault. those people who did that? they clearly had it out for me from the get-go and it taught me not to value... #...what was said. they were biased because of how i choose to exist on here - which is queer. which is trans. which is disabled... #...not because i am secretly knavish or whatever it may be

[not-that-dillinger]

[🔪:] Alan stared at Ed, his face pale. He staggered backwards, jot sure if he should call the police or try and hear the younger programmer out. His hands trembled, and he could hear his heart thrumming in his head.

He should've screamed. He should've called for help. Instead he stared into Ed's eyes, desperate for an answer.

"Why?"

[From the "send 🔪 to encounter my muse after they've just killed someone" meme. Doesn't need to be a thread if you dont want it to be, I just thought the angst would be spicey]

Ed stared at the corpse. He felt... nothing. Not... vindication, not anger, not grief or... anything.

His eyes flicked first toward the child backing away down the alley into the dark street, curly blonde hair sticking out from under a plastic viking helmet. Ed dropped the shard of glass that had been digging into his hand. He didn't even remember picking it up, but there were several other bottles littering the street, so he must have grabbed one.

Was that his blood or...

The glass shattered loudly in the too silent street.

"Beo, I..." Ed started weakly. He'd promised both of them he would never expose Beo to violence. Not after everything e'd already endured.

The child turned and ran, disappearing into the dark.

Ed didn't dare chase after Beowulf. E wasn't safe with him anymore. He had no right to take care of Petra's child after what he'd done.

Ed sank to the ground, his body aching from the abuse he'd endured in the fight. He wasn't a fighter, he had no experience or training in martial arts or street fighting, but when he'd seem that man, drunk and pinning Beo to the wall with a predatory look in his eyes, when he heard the things he said he'd do... Ed snapped.

Ed could feel the gash in his side, his shirt sticky-hot and plastered to his side. That would need stitches, if not surgery.

The state was going to take custody of Beo since Ed was clearly violent and unfit to take care of a child. Or at the very least while the investigation was going on.

He turned to Alan, finally registering that he was there. He knew he could trust Alan to take care of Beowulf, even if he hated the idea of burdening Alan with a kid he probably didn't want. He turned to him with a desperate look on his face. "Please... Look after Beowulf for me. E has no other place to go right now..."

#tw death #tw child abuse implied #tw csa implied #the last one didn't actually get to that point but it's implied that was the intent #OUCH SORRY #...I was about to send you this one ;D #Guess you beat me too it

[cannivalisms]

writing some more good intentions ch 1. this is so fucked up. did you guys know hess was like this. did you know she probably tried to be 'good' at a younger age but then realized all of that progress got erased at the slightest misstep, and everyone only ever saw her for What she was and not Who anyway. and why would she work twice as hard for half the love? did you know hess has ultimately decided to cope with the world hating her by making herself sooo hateable in turn, embodying the difference ascribed to her, and deep down feeling pleased she gets to be the director's #1 problem child because it's the only way she knows how to belong <3

#writeblr #original writing #writers on tumblr #hess tiamaret #good intentions #she writes #did you know hess <3s being different and is about to flip her shit being put in a school where everyone is technically just like her #because she doesnt know what to do when people will move from seeing her as a core to seeing her as a person #because shes so used to just being hated. the eternal other. literally what the fuck is left if you strip all that away #did you know in this excerpt hess is like 15/16 and the flashback is her even younger. fucked up #tw abuse

[wikagirl]

Allow me to introduce you to: Aetulia!

Name: Aetulia (pronounced Ey-tu-liah)

Age: Has been active for at least five years, gained awareness about half a year after nug

Height: 195cm on the dot

Voice refernece: originally the male text to speech voice but she exchanges the voicebox for one that allows her to sing making her sound more like AKINO from bless4

Aetulia was originally built as a healthcare robot by and for Halepharma where she used to work in one of thier clinics for years before she „woke up“ as she puts it. As a re-enforced model she was built to perform security work and, after a particularly violent encounter with a relative that refused to leave a patient alone, things simply started to click into place for her. She became aware of her self, of her feeling anger at the relative of her patient, that rage building with every time they visited and treated her patient poorly and relief every time the relative would leave. And then eventually she felt fresh hot blood splattering onto her silicone skin as she cracked the relatives head against the edge of a table again and again and again and again until the table gave out when the relative acted out again and threatened to hurt the patient.

It was later found that the relative was the reason for why the patient had to be hospitalized in the first place but Aetulia never learned about that due to being locked up in a confinement room, designed for people considered a threat to themselves and others, taken off of the list of the mandatory bi-monthly system reset and kept around to „study“ like an animal in a cage. Only that the cage was a baby proofed hospitalroom with a big bulletproof window for surveillance. She was kept in there for weeks, slowly taking apart the room bit by bit and when that wasn't enough she started to peel at her skin.

And then that little blue thing called Nug poked their little optic over the bottom edge of the window.

Some random tidbits about her:

She's a metal head and thus wears corpse paint a lot. It's painted on with alcohol activated paints and is supposed to resemble a curcuitboard

her skirt is DIYed from an old curtain that was left over from when gigis older sibling renovated their bar. Originally she wanted a full circle skirt but that ended up getting caught in her hip joints too often so she made it into a more...battle skirt? Kind of looking situation and she just left behind t-shirts and tops all together as they kept getting in the way of her shoulder and neck articulation and getting caught on things in general.

the rest of her clothes are pieces that nug just kind of gathered and gave to her at some point. The brighter triangle scarf she uses to cover her head is jakobs brand and the other slightly darker scarf which she uses for her other two headwrapping styles was found and purchased on a street market in hollow point (also at least the triangle scarf is inspired by my grandma, she always used to wear a scarf over her head like that and the other two styles are inspired by one of my old coworkers from when I used to work at a convenience store. I personally don't really subscribe to any religion but she showed me how to wear like two or three hijab styles once so ye blows a little kissy to hevin my favourite shift buddy)

the necklace she has was made by nug (with a little help from lahn) from seashells and washed up coral bits in her favourite colour, all kept together by wire and tape. It's attached to her collarbones because it would keep getting caught on her neck too much if she wore it normally

her forearms and lower legs are wrapped in flextape just to protect the wires and tubing there from getting caught on anything, sometimes if she knows she's going to do something that might be more of a physical risk she'll also wrap the other bits of exposed tubes and wires

her black and white wig is literally her most treasured posession. After doing odd jobbs for a while she finally saved up enough to buy it, she abrely ever wears it but if anything should happen to the thing she would probably go mental

she wears a scarf or headband most of the time because she dislikes the feeling of her neckwires being exposed and also to protect the mechanisms just like Nug and their little loop scarf. The styles of headwrap she uses are ones she remembers seeing on patients and employees at the clinic but also customers at the bar she currently stays at.

Nug is the only person she calls a friend, everyone else she just tolerates. Some more some less.

Nug is the only one who gets to call her Aetu

her name is a reference to the masterpiece that is the game brütal legend

after nug and their friends broke her out of their confinement she had to go into hiding for a while and just kind of lived at the bar owned by gigis sibling. Gigi is currently working on getting her contracted as a medic for the vaulthunting department but that will probably take a bit considering that she comitted murder in a hospital.

even though she hates humans for how she was locked up for „studies“ and also for the cruelty they are capable of for literally all the dumbest reasons she still can't help but feel the urge to care and assist. She definately won't help you at all if she actually really hates you but if you are someone like nugs close friends prepare to get insulted to hell and back while she passive agressively stiches up your wounds to perfection and tugs on the string a bit more than needed with every stich.

She really likes the arts, especially music and painting.

Her favourite styles of music are symphonic metal, dubstep, and just anything with a dark or hauntingly beautiful vibe to it

she has yet to actually paint something on a canvas, the closest she has gotten to painting is painting her face in corpsepaint to express her music preference but every time she attempts to paint on a canvas she just stares at it until the paint is dry on her palette

there are certain things hardwired into her coding that she can not go around, even after getting admin access to her own systems thanks to gigi pulling some strings. Most of these lines of code are supposed to prevent the healthcare bots from harming others but in her case it has only led to her being able to hurt others under extremely specific circumstances or when her code recognizes it as morally accaptable/needed to harm someone to protect somebody else so most of her agression towards other comes in verbal from most of the time.

The eyecolour of her model is usually just a coloured foil stuck on over top of the glass lenses of her eyes so she simply peeled it off, leaving her with ghostly grey pupil-less eyes that sometimes glow in different colours when executing certain programms. The sight of seeing her use a small exacto knife to scrape that stuff of her eyeballs was only midly traumatizing to lahn who had to witness the whole thing.

Her eyes can glow in the following colours under the following circumstances: blue when scanning, green when running self diagnosis on her systems and hardware, orange when engaging in security mode/preparing for violence, red when taking too much damage or encountering system errors

could break a grown mans femur with her own two hands if she tried hard enough

technically speaking she is currently unemployed but in oder to get in some cash gigis sibling managed it to set up a deal with a friend who runs a vintage clothing store. Most of the clothes there are second hand and if they are a little damaged but otherwise good Aetulia will fix them in exchange for some cash so she spends most of her time just sitting on a chair in the corner near the bar counter and sewing things per hand. Her sitches are incredibly neat and after some scavanging on the echno net she found some downloadable executables for other forms of stitching outside the ones she allready had from her wound treating programms.

She has sensors for smell and taste so she can chew stuff to analzye it

just by scanning someone she can tell their bloodpreassure, heart rate, body temperature, hydration status and if there are any broken bones.

even though she moves her mouth when talking and has what is essentially a robotic tongue made from rubber to move along with it, they are not essential for her talking and if she wants to she can simply keep her mouth shut and let her voice box do all the talking....also have fun imagining what that tongue can do to all you robot fuckers out there

this fucking edgelord wasted about two hours of her existence sanding her teeth into canines just to be that extra bit offputting in the rare occation that is her smiling

usually the healthcare bots have a layer of silicone skin and a sub layer of rubber strand that are supposed to simulate the morth and flex of muscles under skin but she peeled all of that off except for on her face so she has something to actually paint on and also to still be able to give people that good ol criminal offensive side eye with the slightly raised eyebrow

I'm gonna be real with you when I made her design clothing wise my idea was a mix between what I saw a lot of women wear at metal festivals (so long flowy and dark with corpse paint) + shit you could just diy on limited materials while at the same time not limiting her joint movement but especially with some of her headscarfs she came out in a way that can potentionally be mis-read like she's visually based off of a mishmash of la calavera catrina and romani visual stereotypes which is why I listed the actual design inspirations in the tidbits instead of in the tags for once so people actually see them and see where I'm coming from and hopefully not get the wrong idea.

Character theme: raise your banner – within temptation

5 songs she'd listen to:

shoemaker – nightwish

unleashed – epica

crystallize – lindsey stirling

Casket (VIP) - MARAUDA

Quantum Sonata - FormantX

Height comparison to Nug and also her other headwrapping looks, her wirth her wig and just her bald lil egg head and the blank skeleton next to what a normal healthcare bot looks like with the silicone skin

#borderlands oc #aetu #myart #this took me ages but I am so happy she looks so good #yes the actual healthcare bots look like eggs that wear crocks and yes that was intentional actually #because i wanted them to look as uncanny and shitty as possible #like a cheap imitation of human life #tw murder #tw violence #tw abuse mention #I tried to proofread that like 5 times but i am simply too burnt out to do it properly #so if there are any spelling mistakes in there then that's how it is #I'll just have to accept that now because my brain is a pancake #I've literally been hallucinating from sleep deprevation so I think I can allow myself to be sloppy a little bit

[hearts4juzi]

Dad.

#implied child abuse #my art #dysfunctionally functioning au #Henry’s head being cut off is intentional #also this is right after Henry hit him w his car on accident #blood tw