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#THIS IS PANDERED DIRECTLY TO ME.
pestilentbrood · 11 months
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no one touch me I’m about to lose it
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alex-van-gore · 11 months
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“Do whatever you have to do. Break whatever you have to break, but don’t you die.”
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The size difference doesn’t show up on earth because he’s 6ft-ish and she’s the size of a horse but as soon as they’re anywhere that isn’t so staunchly material she’s like a freakishly large & aggressive maine coon to him
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oldmanffucker · 2 months
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‘whiter shade of pale’ perks of being a wallflower x house md cross over
‘how to fight loneliness’ girl interrupted x house md cross over
this is Love fodder
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randomnameless · 1 year
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Seeing how badly sothis/byleth get treated by intsys makes me feel really badly for them and their fans. I thought self inserts were meant to fawn over the player but instead I see the company retcon them, replace, and low but high key shitting on them. I don’t think I would ever see this with characters like Link or Persona or the little pokemon kids so I’m not sure what intsys is trying to tell us about sothis/byleth if this what we see done to them, “they’re just a mindless beast”
As I realised thanks to talking and exchanging with people around and after years of discourse...
Fodlan suffers from "self-insert worship" but in a batman 5D chess gambit, from doylist wise, "player worship". Earl Grey must sell, thus the character who always loves the player and was made, designed, as the player's love-interest (Billy's), Supreme Leader's worship takes the cake.
As already pointed out, Fodlan games try their damnest to erase or not give any figs about Flamey, the "War" is just a background buzz and units are on snow class, and if something is to blamed for the destruction and deaths caused by the war it's deflected on the mole people, "Church/Kingdom BaD because they don't offer their heads on a platter" or the world and its systum - and the worst offender, on "crusts", aka, blood from a genocided race that mingled with "humanity" and is used as the scapegoat for everything wrong in the world. The "alien blood" is to blame and the real responsible for why Miklan tried to seduce people who didn't want to be seduced, or why classicism exist.
I exaggerate a bit, Heroes tried to poke holes at this smokescreen and it ended up with Supreme Leader running away from Lissa (the most persuasive character in the franchise?) because, hey, in her verse, no one told her 1+1 = 2, or no one she couldn't introduce to Aymr I guess.
(of course we have the lol!supports from the besf, but any opposition is resolved with a teaspoon in the following supports, there's no disagreement nothing, it's always "and John realised off-screen Supreme Leader was right and he was wrong", ultimate kuddos to the Ferdie support though, the biggest joke - but again, FE16's supports kind of suck).
With that in mind, Billy was always intended to be the SS Lord, and to opposed Supreme Leader (that's the gravitas and main steak served when you order Fodlan : "u will feel bad bcs u turn against ur precious student sad uwus").
And yet, not to prevent the irl players from, idk, buying Supreme Leader merch or routes or being engaged, even if it's through foolish fan-faction wars, Billy takes a backseat as Nopes fully embrace the core of the Fodlan games : Hresvelg Tea.
Player must feel bad for siding against Supreme Leader - so Supreme Leader must somehow be right, and make people at least some of them surface-level wonder if the ends justify the means, right?
Billy, when they are their character and not a self insert UI, thus must bow down to this rule - everything must be thrown in a blender so Supreme Leader's steak will look appetising, even if you have to destroy the tastiest risotto ever done in the process.
Rhea cannot have spotlight else we will be in a Lissa situation again - so if she has any, it'll play in the red herring already debunked 10 chapters ago "Church BaD Rhea BaD maybe she should have ruled over the world instead of letting HuMaNiTy rule itself". In Nopes? Conveniently, Uncle pops up so Rhea's goal changes, and she will prefer to save the world instead of putting the person who wants her out of Fodlan by tomorrow morning because her ears are pointy to the sword.
Dimitri? "BaD" as long as he wants to kill Supreme Leader, but when he'll become the Saviour King, he'll try to spare her and regret having to kill her - fuck to Baldo, Waldi, and the "creatures masquerading as humans" I guess - in FE16 ; in Nopes, he'll also join the "Church BaD" gang, thus isn't "really" opposing Supreme Leader, right?
Clout became a thing.
And Billy? Well, Barney's existence is their nemesis, so to prop Barney they should shit on Billy, right?
But to shit on them to this point - throwing them with the other Nabateans in Nopes in the "dgaf" trashcan but also, confirming the worst theories from FE16 (Jerry's not the best dad ever) hurts. Billy was, this time, sacrificed to make place for the new self-insert, but also, imho, to showcase how the damn space lizards are evil (and not only because we're playing an agarthan game/route, but also because it checks a certain someone's agenda).
So while I think it's less something of "the devs hate Billy" it's more like "the devs want you to buy Hresvelg Tea".
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ponytailcoby · 1 year
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witchblade · 2 years
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I think about the fact that someone who is basically one of my employers is on the city council and I just sent my city council a letter urging them to support the call for a permanent ceasefire, and cheerfully signed my name to it. It'll be fine. And fuck them if it isn't. I'm sorry, but my job is literally all about thinking critically - they better not be a bunch of hypocrites and chastise me for thinking critically and urging them to do so, as well.
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gracelandmp3 · 1 year
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WE ARE THE RIVER AND IT IS THE SEA RUN TO IT OR RUN DRY BUT ALL WILL RUN
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ju-ji · 1 year
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I can’t believe they’re giving me geminifourth on a show about girlfriends that’s my two favorite GFs
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egophiliac · 1 year
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HAVE YOU SEEN MALLEUS DORM UNIFORM CARD????
I didn't get him. :( ...so I looked up his dorm story and it is incredible, oh my god. if you haven't noticed by now, Malleus doing the absolute stupidest shit with the best intentions is my favorite, and this is pandering directly to that part of me. I can't pick a favorite part.
(wait, actually, yes I can)
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petals2fish · 2 months
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Smutty Saturday
Read on A03 (Note: Rated E for a Reason!!)
Dani looked up as Dimitri hovered over her. His black eyes were filled with lust as he pushed his finger into the cotton of her underwear, feeling how wet she was for his–
"Lily!"
Suppressing a frustrated groan, Lily tore herself away from her book. Today was supposed to be her day to blissfully immerse herself in a romance novel while savoring a cup of steaming tea in the corner of the common room. Just as she was getting into her latest read, "Charms of Change," someone had the audacity to interrupt her. She was just reaching the climactic moment where the main character was about to confess her love to the wizard who saved her life. But now, her cherished Smutty Saturday was threatened by the sudden appearance of Penny the Pain.
Penny's real name was Penelope Pander, a second-year who fancied herself as head girl material. Lily was fairly certain Penny would vie for the position if she could, but instead, she seemed content to report every minor issue to Lily as if it were her responsibility to fix. No matter how hard Lily tried, she never seemed good enough in Penny's critical eyes.
"No," Lily stated firmly, cutting off Penny before she could speak.
Penny appeared flustered, fumbling nervously with her wand. She knew it was Saturday, as did everyone else. All afternoon, nobody had bothered Lily, choosing instead to direct their inquiries to the currently absent Head Boy. Even Penny knew better than to risk Lily's wrath by disturbing her precious reading time.
Lily barely glanced up from her book as she maintained eye contact with Penny and repeated, "No."
Penny clasped her hands together, as if in prayer. "Please, just hear me out, Lily."
Lily slammed the book shut with a loud snap, so much for finishing.
“I have told you a hundred times, no one is allowed to bother me on Saturday except for my book, my boyfriend, or my best friend." Lily listed the items off with her fingers. "Are you any of those things Penny?”
“No, but—“
“Then figure it out yourself, Penny,” Lily said, reopening her book and crossing her legs to show (as well as she could) that she was done with the conversation.
  His black eyes were filled with lust as he pushed his finger into the cotton of her underwear, feeling how wet she was for his thick fingers. He whispered her name before he rubbed his thumb against her aching--
“But—“ Penny's high-pitched voice was so annoying. 
“No buts.” Lily didn’t even look up from her book as she reiterated, “it’s one day, I only ask for one day, Penny.”
He whispered her name before he rubbed his thumb against her aching clit, making her tremble at the thought of how badly she wanted his fingers in--
“Frankie Barry and Sasha Verbs got stinging nettle all over them and are in the hospital wing until Monday!” Penny blurred out, her stupid voice once again breaking Lily of her focus. “You have to take over their rounds tonight.”
Lily closed her book again, this time even more highly annoyed as she looked directly into Penny's eyes. “Annie Davis is the alternate, Penny, she can do the rounds.”
Penny shook her head quickly, “No.”
“What do you mean, no?” Lily snapped, “Penny, I made the schedule with the Head Boy, I know who the alternates are for Saturday nights.”
Penny pulled at the wand in her fingertips, “Annie Davis has poisoned nettles too.”
Lily wished she could have resisted her urge to break into a grumpy fury, but she’d never been one to hold back her feelings when her private time was being interrupted. She should have read her bloody book in her room, behind the four-poster curtains. “How the bloody fuck do three of my Saturday prefects have nettle poisoning?!”
Everyone in the common room looked over. Lily didn’t even bother apologizing for her outburst. She stood up, towering over the second year Head Girl wanna-be. This should be James’ problem, not Lily’s, he was the one who handled the weekends.
Penny pushed her glasses up her nose and said matter-of-factly, “Uh, Frankie apparently used the Herbology lab as a prime snogging spot and didn’t know nettles were bad for human skin.”
Lily narrowed her eyes, “that disgusting git.”
Penny looked relieved that Lily’s anger was no longer directed at the room, “I know, the poor girls, imagine finding out your boyfriend is cheating because you both have stinging nettles up your arse.”
Lily took three deep breaths, debating if she ought to go tell Frankie off herself. Or ensure he got a few more stinging nettles up his dick. She was pretty sure she could talk Sirius into a little mischief. James too, if she promised a kiss afterwards. 
“You have to take the rounds,” Penny repeated, cutting off Lily’s revenge plot. “McGonagall said so.”
“The Head Boy does weekend covers,” Lily said, “so go bother him.”
“I did.”
“So why are you telling me?” Lily asked, “why aren’t you after the Head Boy?”
Penny flushed, “well, I went to the quidditch pitch to tell him on McGonagall’s orders.”
“And?”
Penny shrugged, “and I was turned away.”
“Blessed,” Lily pressed her fingers to her temples, “please explain why James had the audacity to send you my way?”
“Penny scratched her neck, “erm, well James didn’t send me away.”
“Then who did?”
“James was in the air, so Nigel Babbington sent me to you, and said you’d have to handle it.”
Lily would kill that stupid son of a witch, Nigel Babbington. He hated that James got Head Boy and Quidditch Captain. He said James would never be able to juggle both. He probably sent Penny back in the hopes McGonagall would take Head Boy away from James for skirting his duties and give it to Nigel instead.
“Babbington sent you to me?” Lily confirmed, “not James?”
“Nigel said James was too busy dropping quaffles on passes to worry about Head Duties.”
Lily’s jaw dropped. First Nigel tried to sabotage James, now Penny admitted he was also shit talking James’ form? Lily had never seen a single quaffle slip from James Potter’s fingers in seven years, she doubted she ever would. If the Head boy was good at anything, it was being good at catching things in his hands. it was a wonder he never became seeker, what with his talents. 
“Babbington is as big a prick as any.” Lily huffed, tossing her book on her seat to go rescue her boyfriend and talk to the Head Boy.
Convenient that they were both the same person.
“If James can’t do it,” Penny squeaked, “then you have to.”
“Don’t worry about what I have to do, Penny.” Lily said, “I promise the world will not crumble under my watch.”
"Right." Penny tucked her wand into her robes, sounding unconvinced, “ Or…I could do it, I could do rounds.”
“As enticing as that is, Penny,” Lily said as she hiked her skirt up with a roll, “you’re still only in second year, and McGongall would string me up by my hair if she found out that I let you do rounds alone.”
“I’ve been following your solo rounds all year!” Penny argued, “please, Evans?!”
“I—wait.” Lily paused, “you’ve followed me on rounds all year? As in since September?”
“Yeah.”
“Penny!” Lily exclaimed, “you’ve been stalking me?”
“James said if I wanted to be like you, I should watch you at work.” Penny said. "I still think I'm better at rounds than you, though, no offense. You're a little slow."
“ Ach .” Lily pushed back her long red hair, “do me a favor Penny, and please never listen to James again.”
Lily walked away, muttering under her breath. Penny the Pain had the decency not to follow. Lily would have to keep a sharp eye behind her back on rounds. Knowing that Penny had been following her doing head girl duties was scary, even more so since Lily never spotted the second year.
The sun was just barely peeking out of the clouds outside as it set beyond the horizon. Thunder rumbled in the distance. It was perfect weather for curling up with a good book. Lily’s book was sitting back on her chair in the common room, alone.
She was just getting to the best part of the book when the guy got the girl. When the clothes started falling off. When the sexual tension was dripping off the page. When she had to curl her toes as she imagined her own boyfriend kissing her heatedly in shadows and doorways.  Sometimes, after she finished a particularly good book, she'd go find him for a kiss, or ten. 
Now, the only tension Lily had was Nigel Babbington’s audacity to say James needed to focus on quidditch and not complete his Head Duties. That was utter blasphemy, and he knew it, the prick. The deal was that Lily would cover any missed shifts on weekdays, when James had required quidditch practices. On weekends, when quidditch practice was just for fun, James was required to fill into empty spots on the calendar.
She was in such a blind rage that she didn’t even remember making it to the quidditch pitch. All she knew was that she looked up at the air and no one was playing quidditch anymore. It was clear they'd all come down from their posts to shower and socialize before dinner.  
“I can’t fucking believe this.” Lily muttered, “Penny couldn’t have waited fifteen minutes for them to be done…”
Lily stormed into the stands, underneath which, a long hallway ran and was full of students. There were boys and girls hanging about laughing and gossiping over broomsticks and pumpkin juice. Lily stormed past some of her friends who were sitting in a circle together, barely waving at them despite their welcoming smiles.
 "Where are you going?" Mary called in her sing-song voice.
 "James." Was all Lily said when she noted Nigel Babbington sticking his tongue down Annika Johnson's throat. 
“He’s just gotten off the pitch, Evans!” Sirius Black shouted after her, "Come sit with us!"
“No!” Lily shouted at him, "this can't wait!”
“He’s probably in the sho—“
“It’s a Head emergency!”
She heard them all whisper and Sirius suddenly laughed when Lily didn’t even glance their way. She made her way down the long wooden paneled hall, her heart pounding. The students became fewer, and it was clear everyone was wrapping up to make it to dinner. At the end of the long hallway, the locker rooms were stationed. She’d been in the girls’ room plenty of times to meet her friend Marlene, but she didn’t turn to the right, no, she turned to the left.
There, to the boys’ side.
She pushed through the doorway, blinded in the moment by her rage, not even thinking of knocking.
“James, I’m gonna need you—” She stumbled over her words. “Holy shit.”
Lily stared at him. Her jaw was probably on the floor. James had clearly just gotten out of the shower. His messy black hair was shining, dripping water down his tan neck. The beads of water rolling down his skin caught her eyes and she followed their path down his sides. She stood in her spot, her throat closing up as her boyfriend was displayed in front of her looking like a fucking movie star.
Has he always looked that toned? 
She’d really only seen him with his shirt off, and that had been few and far between. The lines on his shoulders made up of muscle rippled as he moved, and she imagined running her fingers down that back. She wondered if she could kiss every long line, every sharp curve, and even imagined what he must taste like. This was better than any fucking book, this was real, and he was hers. 
James glanced over his shoulder when the door slammed behind Lily, announcing her presence more loudly than her original outburst. Her eyes at that point were fully gaping at his arse, which was peeking out from low hanging trousers he'd been scooping up his legs. He’d been hiding that arse from her under his school uniform, and Lily felt like it was a crime. 
“Lily!” James finished pulling his trousers up, quickly, his fingers stumbling on his zipper.
James' tan skin stretched over his arms. Lily wondered how he was that toned from simply tossing a ball in the air. She imagined he could probably toss her around too, if he wanted. His wire frame glasses were slipping down his nose as James turned to face her, showing off his bare chest. Oh, she loved his chest. He had a line of hair that she could follow right down to the V of his pelvis.
“Hi.” Lily managed to squeak.
James ruffled his wet hair, droplets flying out, “shit, Lily, someone else could’ve been in here!”
The alarms in her head were blaring, telling her that flight was the best response to seeing her boyfriend practically naked. For crying out loud, he’d only seen her upper half without clothes, they hadn’t gotten past second base. 
But now she was thinking, ‘we just might get past it.’
James danced on the spot, uncertain from her dead silence. “Hello?” He asked softly, stepping forward to pretend and knock on a door between them. “Anyone home, Evans?”
“Never mind.” She sounded like a talking animal in a Disney movie, her voice was so high pitched. 
“What?”
And then, very uncharacteristically of her, Lily ran out the door.
She was well aware that her face was redder than a cherry tomato. Everyone sniggered as she swiftly walked past. She knew that everyone knew exactly why her face was suddenly breaking out in hives.
“That bad, huh?” Sirius called after her. "I tried to warn ya!"
"Not now, Black!" Lily sent him a rude hand gesture as she kept retreating.
If James was following in nothing but his trousers, she was pretty sure she would die from humiliation. Who saw their partner, naked, and ran in the opposite direction? Lily wouldn't be surprised if James broke up with her. She didn't know if he'd believe she ran because she was overwhelmed by how attracted she was to him at that moment.
Luckily, no one followed her back to the castle.
Lily had barely made it past the front entrance hall when none other than Professor McGonagall stopped her with one hand in the air, “I presume you and the Head Boy figured out who was covering shift tonight?”
“I’m doing it.” Lily said quickly, eager to escape before news got out about her waltzing right into the locker room.“I’m covering.”
“Excellent,” McGonagall nodded, “it starts at six, and goes to ten.”
“I’ll just grab some food before starting then,” Lily stepped towards the tables lined with food, “bye!”
She was aware her face was still burning as she swiped a sandwich from the Gryffindor table. She ignored her friends, anyone really, who tried to engage her in conversation. She was worried she might actually die if she admitted walking in on her boyfriend in the shower.
Not that she was ashamed, but she was incredibly turned on. She wished she had taken a few seconds longer to study the arch of his back as it turned into his hips. She should have taken a mental picture of the way his chest hair curled and trailed down to the line of his trousers.
Lily’s footsteps were loud against the stone of the third floor corridor. She paced the halls, only stopping to check behind tapestries for snogging students. Being that it was Saturday, Lily knew the snogging was more apt to happen in Hogsmeade than anything.
Merlin, what she wouldn’t give to be snogging James Potter right now.
She made it to the seventh floor, also known as the most boring floor in existence. The tower was used as storage, mostly old desks and books long forgotten. Only teachers and the head students had the keys, checking it once a night before continuing on. Lily pushed open the door to go into where all the books were being stored, walking to the back of the room just for fun. 
“Aren’t you supposed to be finishing your book today? You were so excited yesterday, I actually kind of took offense.”
Normally, Lily would’ve brightened at the sound of his voice echoing into the dark room during rounds. Normally, Lily would jump right into his arms and kiss him gleefully. Normally, she wouldn’t be thinking of doing more than kissing when she caught his hazel eyes flickering under the flames of the wall torches.
James tilted his head inquisitively when Lily didn’t have a sassy comeback about her book. He moved smoothly, like a deer in the forest, barely making a sound. Lily stood frozen in front of a stained glass window near the stack of charms books, her face turning bright red instantly. Lily swallowed thickly when James positioned his body in front of hers.
At least he was fully clothed this time. 
“I’m on rounds.” She blurted out, stupidly.
James tucked his fingers under her chin as he acknowledged, “I can see that, love.”
He called her love, he always had, even before they started dating. It still turned her knees to mush. He leaned down, pressing his mouth to hers softly. Oh fuck, she was kissing him back, losing initiative, losing focus. His kiss warmed her up, undoing the knots on her insides like magic. 
Her hands slid up his arms, feeling his body move closer to hers. Lily's mouth opened against his so that she could capture his lower lip, tugging it impatiently, feeling the skin flex under her teeth. James responded to that by deepening the kiss, tasting her with ample amounts of his tongue against hers. His left hand angled her face before it slipped against the back of her neck, holding her in place as they kissed.
 Too bad he was fully clothed now. 
When James pulled back, Lily's eyes were still closed. She could feel that he hadn’t gone far. His exhaled air washed over her mouth sensually, promising her that he hadn't given up all his kisses yet. It was better than any book she’d ever read, but maybe that was but maybe that was because it was James doing the romancing.
“Why are you on rounds?” He asked, voice deeper than usual. 
Lily's head was spinning from his arrival. “Frankie Barry and Sasha Verbs got stinging nettle all over them and are in the hospital wing until Monday.”
“Yeah I caught them having a go at it in the Herbology lab,” James said, “but I thought Annie was the alternate for tonight.”
“James,” Lily opened her eyes to find him watching her very closely, “Annie got stinging nettles too.”
“How did Annie get nettles?” James was so cute when his nose wrinkled up from irritation.
“Probably from that prick Frankie.” Lily huffed, “Penny told me that he was shagging them both.”
“Fucking fifth years,” James rolled his eyes, “they’re nothing but raging hormones.”
“Yah,” Lily pretended to agree as her left hand felt it’s way up his bicep, “raging hormones, the lot of em.”
James noticed her attention waver. A knowing smile overtook his face, showing off the sharp square of his jawbone. Lily wished he wasn’t wearing robes, they did nothing for the figure underneath. And boy, was there a lot hiding underneath. James started kissing her neck, sucking gently at her pulse point so that she leaned into him.
“How did you find me?” She asked him, despite enjoying the way he was marking up her neck.
“Oh, I noticed you were missing from dinner, so I asked around. Penny the Pain ended up telling me that you were supposed to be finding me.” He replied conversationally, nipping at her skin playfully. “I left out the fact that you did find me earlier, but Sirius unfortunately told the entire table what happened two seconds later.”
Lily groaned, letting her head fall back. “No.”
James chuckled as he brushed her hair out of his mouth's way with his fingers, “he finds it hilarious that you saw me naked and ran off without any explanation.”
“Mm sorry.” She mumbled, slurring her words when he blew cool air onto the hickey he'd just undoubtedly made.
James pulled her face to look at him, showing nothing but empathy in his eyes, “bit shocking for the both of us, yeah?”
She nodded miserably, “I should’ve knocked, but I was so mad about Frankie, and Nigel, so I had to come get you."
"I get Frankie, but why Nigel?"
"Because Nigel Babbington thinks you need more practice on a broomstick.” Lily rolled her eyes.
James immediately retracted in horror. “That bastard couldn’t catch a quaffle if it hit him in the face!”
Lily pouted her lower lip and gave him her saddest eyes. “Yeah, obviously that’s what I said!”
“Well, those pricks aside,” James brushed her hair from her face with his thumb, “why don’t you go back to the common room, and I’ll finish your route?"
Lily stood on her tiptoes to angle herself a little taller, “you mean it?”
James softened at her enthusiasm, “of course I mean it, you work your cute little arse off all week so I can play quidditch. You should get time to do what you want to do, too.”
She didn't know how to tell him the only thing she wanted to do was keep touching him in that tower, where it was unlikely anyone would find them. 
Lily took both his hands in hers, frowning considerably. “I wish we had an alternate of an alternate, James.”
“To be fair, neither of us predicted Frankie would give both sixth year prefects nettles.” James said, using his body to slowly push the back of her knees right into the window ledge. “Come to think of it, we did the best we could, so really we should both be off the hook here.”
She pushed her fingers through his curls, which were dried despite his earlier wet appearance, “I like the way you think."
"I get my best ideas from you."
"I love you.”
And then she realized what she had said, out loud. Shit, was he going to go into shock? She eyed his frozen features, looking carefully, like he was prey that might flee from her arms. His hazel eyes read her, skimming her face, her hands, her body. Lily sucked in a deep breath of air when he removed any more space between them, his chest pressing up against her white button down.
There was something unspoken and wild when he closed the gap between their lips. She laughed into his sudden flurrying kisses, made up of long strokes of tongue and scraping teeth. James had one hand in her red curls, his other hand pressed against her arse, lifting her onto her tiptoes higher. Higher. She was practically balancing on her black school shoes, her tongue tasting every corner of his all-too-eager mouth. 
There was something incredibly hot about the way he was holding her there, something invigorating about the way she could barely keep up with his kissing. His passion spread through the room life a wildfire. She was burning in him, feeling every inch of her body catch sparks that erupted in bolts that streamed from her head to her core. It was always like this when she kissed James Potter, and she didn't want the feeling to ever end. 
Lily’s hair was tangled between his fingers while he arched her head to deepen the strokes of his tongue. He tasted like mint toothpaste, or gum, but she couldn’t decide which one as her nails scraped through his dark black hair desperately seeking more friction. She could smell him, only him, the sweet scent of cinnamon and soap. James slid both his hands under her skirt, lifting her into the wide sill of the window, which allowed her to wrap her legs around his waist.
“I love you too,” he finally replied, eliciting a soft sigh from her lips as he spoke inches from her, just in case he wanted to dive back in.
“I'm not saying that just because I like your arse, either." She nipped at his tongue.
James smiled against her mouth, "you like my arse?"
"I loved everything I saw, to be honest."
“Fuck, this is so hot, like a dream.”
She pressed her mouth along his sharp chin, leaving a trail of kisses to his ear where she whispered, “been dreaming of me, have you?”
“I think I’ve got hormones to rival a fifteen year old.” James’ fingers were wound up in her skirt now, holding the fabric tightly as if he might rip it off her. “Especially when I saw you earlier, I mean, when I saw the way you were looking at me.”
Lily’s fingers were unbuttoning his robes, desperately trying to get to the skin she’d seen earlier, “I’m sorry I ran, you’re just way too handsome and I died a little.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t run after you,” he kissed her again before admitting, “I like how you keep looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you just saw me naked.”
“I did.” She giggled.
“Damn, you’re right.” He sighed, “I just keep giving you whatever you want.”
Lily pressed her forehead to his gently, “how shall I ever thank you?”
“This is a good start,” he joked, the edges of his eyes wrinkling with humor.
“We could get in trouble if we got caught.” Lily thought the idea only turned her onto him more.
James placed butterfly kisses along her chin between every word of, "we're just snogging."
Lily's hands felt up his shoulders, wishing they were bare, "I wouldn't mind a little more."
His hands slipped under the fabric of her shirt, cupping her breasts over her bra, “something like this?”
Lily turned her head to capture his wicked smirk. She kissed him slowly while his left index finger slid under her bra to play with her peaked nipple. Lily felt tingles between her legs when he touched her like that, and so she kissed him harder, her hands grasping for hold. Even with his kiss, his hands, and his undivided attention, Lily still wanted more. 
“Let’s go,” he begged into her mouth, seemingly having the same thoughts as she did. “The lake is bound to be empty this time of night.” He nipped her playfully with his teeth. “This time we’ll both strip down to our underwear.”
“That sounds pretty fun.”
“Rounds only go till ten, and then— holy hell ."
His whole lower body had shifted into hers when she locked her legs around him, using her ankles as shackles. She balanced on the edge of the windowsill, until his right hand started holding one of her legs to his body. Lily felt it as he rolled his hips up and into her. He must’ve liked it too, because his hips jolted a little more roughly on the second go. She dug her nails into his skin, meeting his thrust with one of her own. 
 "Lily, you’re so needy.”
“I'm needy?" Lily could feel him, and he was getting hard despite all the fabric still separating them.
James softly whined her name and it made her see stars.
“You gonna make it to the lake?” She asked him, loving that he hissed like it was possible he wouldn’t.
“Are you sure you didn’t make this entire nettles thing up, just to get me turned on so much that I'd jump you on rounds?” He teased back, hot breath splashing over her face. “You just wanted to shag me, right?”
“The nettles are true,” Lily said, “but I did not expect me running away from you to garner such a—ah— James .”
He had thrusted and rolled his thumb over one of her nipples at the same time, making her entire face flush from pleasure as she gasped his name. James got a dirty and possessive look at that, repeating the motion so that he could watch her hitch on an inhale, totally overcome by the sensation. She watched with wide eyes as he pushed aside the fabric on her right breast, leaned down, and put his mouth on her skin. When his tongue fell against her peaked skin she felt another flash of heat from below that had her wiggling in place. She was desperate for more friction, more James, more feeling. 
“You might’ve run away.” James had left her bra pushed aside when he stood up again, and the cool air elicited a new feeling on her skin. “But before that, you just stood there undressing me with your eyes and as I watched the flush creep up your cheeks…all I wanted to do was get you to look like that while I was ravishing you.”
James was definitely getting whatever he wanted. She was absolutely turned on, more so than she ever had been with him. She knew he wouldn’t go so far as to have sex with her, but she wondered if he wouldn’t mind experimenting a little. They had time, rounds didn't end until ten, and no one would come looking for them. 
“I want to touch you,” she whispered when he started kissing up her neck. 
James sucked her skin thoughtfully before asking with a husky voice, “touch me where?”
"Where do you want me to touch?"
Lily dropped her legs from around him to give him room to move. He was pushing off his robes, letting the fabric fall to the ground. Lily watched with hungry eyes as he pulled his shirt over his head, making it join his robes on the floor. It was only seconds before he was unzipping his trousers. He already knew the answer to Lily's question. He was just teasing her, and looked pleased by the turn of events as he readjusted her legs around his hips.
"You promise not to run this time?" James kissed her, sweetly, affectionately, only deepening the touch between them by pushing himself into her so that she could feel how hard he was.
"Yes." She hummed happily when he started moving his body into hers in a wholly sexual way. 
"Are you sure you want to go further?" He confirmed, "We can stop, whenever you want.”
“Okay," she whispered, "but I don't want to stop right now."
Lily had never touched anyone like she wanted to touch him, and was even disappointed when he stopped moving against her so he could readjust. James shimmied his trousers and underwear down so that they rested on him just as they were when she walked into the locker room: barely hanging on. Her hands unlocked from around his neck as she looked down and prepared to take a daunting step with the boy she loved. He was holding himself, but watching her with expectant eyes, seemingly unsure of how she would respond.
“Show me how,” Lily told him, and James took one of her hands, wrapping it around the base of his cock.
“Just go for it,” James said as her fingertips slid along the length, making him twitch involuntarily.
"What if I suck at it?"
“I'll help.”
Lily felt the thickness of his body, but she was more marveled at how velvety he felt. He hissed when her fingers slid underneath the shaft gently and he bucked forward, making her entire hand wrap around him in gut reaction. His hands grabbed ahold of her waist as if seeking to anchor himself to something, and she didn't mind that it was her.
“Fuck,” he closed his eyes once more when she moved her hand in a pumping motion, “are we sure I’m not dreaming?”
“Not dreaming.” She confirmed before asking, “does it feel good?”
James managed a short laugh, as if she was absurd for even asking. Lily brought her mouth to his and he willingly accepted her kisses as her hand started moving up and down his shaft in slow, unpracticed, motions. James was distracted by her hand, only kissing her absentmindedly, almost like he could not handle thinking about both at once. She felt James quivering, and her hand was starting to feel tired. James rutted into her hand again, ripping his mouth from hers to hiss a long stream of curses. It was clear he wanted more because he was wide eyed, nothing but need dripping from his expression. 
“Here,” he said gruffly into her neck, removing her hand from him and placing it on his balls, “touch me here.”
Lily didn’t know what she was doing, but did as he asked. James’ own hand started pumping fast against his cock. Lily watched, enthralled by the sight of her boyfriend coming totally undone before her without any embarrassment. His chest was heaving as he grabbed her hand again, guiding her into the fast paced movements until he was panting for air. She watched and waited as she followed his instructions, eager to see him fall totally apart for her. 
“I’m gonna—“ James tried to warn Lily to move her hand, but it was too late.
She’d always wondered what boys were like when she was alone late at night, touching herself, but nothing could’ve prepared her for witnessing it first hand. It was messy, for one, getting all over her legs and skirt. James barely even blinked at it, he was too busy catching his breath. Lily adjusted uneasily, trying and failing to look like the products of her touch didn't bother her. 
“Sorry.” James breathed into her skin, and Lily could tell by the curve of his mouth that he was grinning. “Give me a second and then I’ll clean you up.”
“It’s fine.” She kissed the top of his head softly before admitting, “I never did that before.”
James looked up, arching a playful bow, looking rather euphoric. "You've never seduced a boy before?"
Lily pinched him, "you caught me, this was all a ploy to seduce you into finishing rounds with me."
“You could seduce me into a cauldron full of nettles, love,” he said in a loving voice, “especially if you ever touch me like that again.”
 "I think next time it's my turn." Lily suggested.
 James' jaw dropped. "Can it be next time, now?"
 Lily laughed as he kissed her again, marveling at how her Saturday had remained smutty after all, only this time there was nothing fictional about it. 
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dlartistanon · 2 months
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While I always enjoy your buff Arknights characters (thank you for the Saria especially), what're your headcanons for your Doctor in your version of AK?
Hmm... My Doctor is either nonbinary or fem. Also very ace. Appearance-wise, they have medium-length hair and dark under-eye circles. They have spiral pupils. They're relatively short. Skinny and undernourished. Honestly my design for Doctor is just a haggard version of that one promotional concept art of Doctor that looks vaguely feminine.
Let me list some things about Doctor that I actually like, and kept intact in my own portrayal:
their parental relationship with Amiya
their awkward, sometimes hostile dynamic with Kal'tsit
they have lingering feelings of depression and detachment surrounding their amnesia and separation from Priestess
implied autistic
they’re physically weak and sensitive to light
their acute observational skills
a fondness towards physical contact
their academic background in neurology/history
a strange tendency to drink boiling hot liquids directly and eat random consumables
A lot has happened in over four years. Particularly the way Doctor is written and how certain characters are written around them. In a perfect world, Doctor as a vehicle for self-insertion does not exist. What currently exists is canon discontinuity for me, and I've realized that the only way for me not to gag at Doctor content in the game is if I reconcile their existence by superimposing my own take.
However, in doing so, I refuse to call it a self-insert. That word is so loaded with awful baggage and is a viscerally unpleasant reminder of how some of my faves' writing is ruined for the sake of pandering to the lowest common denominator in order to make the player feel special. At the same time, I'm not depicting "Canon Doctor" either because so much of the "canon" writing around them is so half-baked and poorly-constructed in a failed attempt to appease both self-inserters and people who want an Actual Character.
My Doctor is not In-Game Buckethead, not a self-insert, but a secret third thing. Taking characterization bits that I like and discarding the ones I don't. Same goes for every operator who's writing suddenly takes a nosedive whenever in-game Doctor is involved.
If I have any singular Doctor ship, it's with Priestess. Priestess is their tragic soulmate, and Doctor wanting to reunite with her gives even more reason/justification for other characters to distrust them because of the implication that Priestess was responsible for the Oripathy outbreak.
Maybe with Kal'tsit too, but the dynamic has to be very specifically complex and not reduce Kal'tsit into a tsundere.
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doberbutts · 1 year
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To those wondering what I'm talking about re: Harvestella... these are some of the many comments on various articles regarding the game and specifically the interview that announced the non-binary OPTION (meaning if you don't want to be nb you simply don't select it- literally all it does is give you they/them pronouns instead of she/her and he/him).
And this image from Squeenix's official twitter:
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Which is the "absolutely terrible" character customization screen that people are complaining about. Pronouns, body type, skin color, hair color, eye color. Less customization than some, more than others. Your clothes change with your job. Pretty sure the models are exactly the same, just one has [small] boobs and an updo and the other has no boobs and a side ponytail.
Reactions from Gamer Bros vary from your typical shitty trans/nbphobic "mental illness" and "doesn't exist" comments all the way for advocating for genocide of Japan and BOTH antiblack AND anti-Japanese slurs at the same time (that one thankfully downvoted by everyone).
But what gets me the most is the reaction to the male body type. He's fairly androgynous and maybe even a bit pear-shaped- it's hard to tell with the way the clothes flare around his waist. But it's "this guy doesn't look like a man" and "I'm being forced to play as someone I don't look like" which is interesting to me because A: I know men who look like that and
B: I've literally always been forced to play as someone I don't look like, it's VERY RARE that I as a black person can find the correct skin tone, correct hair texture, AND correct facial features in a character customization screen. They are always too dark or too light, with european hair textures, and euro or asian facial features... OR the facial features are just shy of exaggerated characiture (looking at you, Skyrim) and thus playing as such is not a fun experience. And that's JUST my reality of being black, not even mentioning gender or disability.
I don't look like Geralt. I don't look like Aloy. I never have. I never will. I have ALWAYS been forced to play as someone I don't look like. Even when I supposed to make this character *me*. Even when it comes close, it still misses the mark. Even this game does- I don't look like that and my hair would never do that and my face will never be that asian-beauty-standard prettyboy look. I can have my skin tone, that's it.
Gamer Bros really are the weakest link, they think if something doesn't pander immediately and directly to them that it's garbage. As if there aren't thousands of people exactly like me who have yet to see themselves in a game, who've been gaming since they were old enough to hold a controller. How many women out there grew up forced to play male characters while being told "the mc is supposed to be YOU :)" until game companies remembered girls exist too? How many companies STILL do this?
You will not die because in this one offshoot Final Fantasy Farming games you're forced to choose between a twink and a high femme, I promise.
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not-goldy · 4 months
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I had tweeted “Honestly, is it worth being a Tkker when you have to shit on some that both half’s of your ship love? Is it worth being a Tkker when you have to cut out a member just to manipulate yourself and your fellow cultist?” And the tweeted “Is it worth be a Tkker when you have to have a thousand narratives because reality shows you a different story? Being a Tkker sounds hard and not worth the energy” on twitter and my god when I say Taekookers stalk Jkkers, I mean they stalk us. I ain’t never had a Tkker interact with my tweets and I sometimes make tweets say Taekookers instead of Tkkers. Yet that tweet is the tweet that bothered them? I have made tweets directly calling them out and not a single interaction from a Tkker. Me telling the truth really hit a nerve. They only interacted with the second tweet but not the tweet saying how shit on Jm (whom Tae and Jk loves) is not worth it and etc. They are truly so self aware but just refuse to admit they are insane for their behavior and that Tae and Jk gets dragged all because of them.
Sorry you had to deal with that.
One time I called their ship dead they sent out dog whistles to their cult claiming I was issuing death threats to Tae and Jk. That didn't piss me off, I'm used to Tuktukkers I usd to be in the yoonmin spaces and group chats so I know what Tuktukkers is all about. It's the jokers who jumped on the hate wagon ganging up with the Tuktukkers to fight me that got on my nerves.
Becareful out there okay. If you are going to go after that cult be sure you doing it for the right reasons because it's what you want and you are standing up for your truth. And don't count on nobody to get your back. Because sometimes you would have to fight jokers too cos most of them are phony panders who do things for clout to perform for the circus and to make themselves seem likeable.
I always say I'm in this alone, it's me and Jikook against the world. No one else matters to me. And I sleep well at night knowing I fight a good fight.
Next time they come for you call me. I got your back.
Ready for a fight any day. For the gays and country.
Be safe.
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garak · 5 months
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i love the comics trend of randomly choosing a dude to become gay every once in a while sorry i know its pandering and stupid but it makes me laugh. like who at marvel hq was like yeah fuck it lets put iceman in fetish gear at the gay club it doesnt even matter. and marvel can get away with it because nobody gives a fuck about iceman except me but dc is in troubled waters because last time they played darts with the guide to the dc universe seeing who to turn gay next an errant gust of wind caused the pages to flutter and they accidentally landed directly on supermans son so now they have to deal with people actually caring. now if we can get marvel to make a similar mistake next pride month and trick them into making magprof retroactively viable...
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