#THIS IS AN ESSENTIAL NPC AND CANNOT BE KILLED.

[crobones]

[kicks open the door I just closed] AND ANOTHER THING

when a ghoul is turning feral, they say their name. they repeat it, over and over. "Roger. My name is Roger." like a chant. to remind themselves who they are. to hold onto the last bit of humanity they have left, because maybe if they hold tight enough, they can beat it. or maybe they can just hold on until help comes.

Cooper wasn't just distracting Roger so he could get a clean shot. He was reminding Roger of something good. BlamCo Mac & Cheese. His mom's apple pie.

When someone can't be saved, you don't want them to just focus on the fact that it's over. It's done. Waiting in that anxious fear for their every breath, because they don't know if it will be their last. Or, in Roger's case - and the case for any Ghouls out there still surviving - their last moments of control.

The sad fact of the matter is that, feral ghouls are still alive. They're not zombies. They hunger, they drool, they eat, but they can hide, too. They can gather. Being feral isn't dying, it's worse. They've not even just gone to base instincts - they've lost any and all sense of self preservation. They can sprint and throw themselves at prey because the body has simply become a vehicle for that hunger.

They don't hide or gather to stay safe. They do it because it's easier to take down someone if they're surprised and outnumbered. So yes, a feral ghoul can think. But only insofar that they can find a way to feed that hunger.

But even animals have some sense of self-preservation. (Unless, of course, they're rabid.)

To be feral is to experience such complete ego death that a person has no sense of identity outside of hunger and fear. So they try to hold onto control by reminding themselves who they are. "I am Roger." And so, it's not too far of a stretch to say that a person's humanity lies within their memories.

Cooper asked Roger if he remembered what food tasted like, back when he could taste. Before the radiation and necrosis. As most people know, certain senses like taste and smell can trigger a stronger memory than any words or chants.

What Cooper did to Roger was a mercy. It was simple. It wasn't a countdown or closing his eyes, just so that the last thing Roger could feel is fear. He reminded Roger of something good, like the taste of apple pie. Of his mom. Of being a kid again. Ghouls are people, but for those last few seconds, Roger was the most human he'd probably been in twenty-eight years.

And so what's going to happen when the Ghoul runs out of vials? Not Cooper, but the Ghoul. The character. The facade Cooper Howard has been wearing like a second skin. It's wrinkled, irradiated, and necrotic, but it's tight. It's safe. It's kept him alive. To survive, he willfully distanced himself from his humanity and became a monster. Cooper Howard didn't die. He's been buried alive in a coffin for centuries, feeding off of scraps. But he put himself in there.

So when the Ghoul runs out of vials, he'll do what they all do when they're trying to hold on. They'll hold on to their humanity by tooth and nail. "I am Cooper."

It'll be the first time anyone who didn't know him before the bombs ever hears his name. The first time Lucy connects who the Ghoul is to who Cooper Howard was, back when he was human.

It clicks in her head, subtler than a light switch. She should be happy. She should be ecstatic! She's meeting her favourite hero from her childhood! But all she can feel is sadness. She saw what her mother became, and she quickly proved to the Ghoul that she can put him down when the time comes. If she can do that for her mother, she can do that for him.

But how will she give Cooper those last seconds of humanity? Does she think he deserves it? Fuck deserving it, she'll decide to do it just because it's the kindest thing to do. But she didn't know him before. Didn't know his favourite tastes and smells. But she can probably guess.

Maybe it's the scent of his wife's perfume. Maybe it's the taste of hot coco. Or maybe it's Janey. Just Janey. In any form, any memory. So Lucy does that for him. And after two centuries, Cooper Howard finally remembers how it felt to be human. If only for a few moments.

[record scratch]

I don't want to end it on that. It's too much, even for me. Cooper Howard remembers his humanity and holds on long enough. He's saved. (Hey, Maximus carries RadAway, maybe he can carry other drugs.)

Now Cooper has to sit and deal with the tidal wave that is his humanity fully resurfacing so strongly after several lifetimes. The Ghoul has done a lot of things Cooper would disapprove of. More bad things than any good things he ever did when he was human. But they were all choices he made. Cooper's always been there. Just below the surface. He buried himself in that coffin. And what's more monstrous - to kill and be cruel to survive, or to hide from the responsibility and act like it was someone else all those times? Who is the monster, the Ghoul or Cooper Howard?

Inner turmoil. GIVE ME INNER TURMOIL.

meanwhile, Lucy can lose sleep over the idea that you should never meet your heroes. That maybe she likes the monster, better - but she doesn't know which is which either. They find themselves. They find each other. They find themselves inside of each other. Cannibalism, vore, allegory, etc, etc. they find his dick inside her. Happy ending. fuck you. fuck me!

#the ghoul #cooper howard #fallout #fallout prime #lucy maclean #really she's only mentioned at the end but #ghoulcy #well #ghoulcy intentions but i got a little carried away there #made myself sad #listen Amazon YOU CAN'T KILL HIM OFF #THIS IS AN ESSENTIAL NPC AND CANNOT BE KILLED.

[renaultmograine]

Im sorry if this is strange to ask. I was considering getting bg3 but I have trauma triggers surrounding sexual harassment and ignoring boundaries. How severe the rapeyness, and is it avoidable?

I mean, that's just my perspective of it; there's a lot of people who see it as "sex positivity," but I disagree.

Your companions will hit on you. Aggressively. At seemingly any approval. The game does not let you be friends with your companions and there's seemingly no way to get 'closer' to a companion unless you try and romance them. You will be subjected to all your dialogue choices being [I want to fuck you], [Playing coy], and [You repulse me]. There's nothing else. By merely having them in your party, they will hit on you, and some will not take no as an answer.

Somehow, by being nice to Karlach, I've romanced her, and now have the option to say 'Sorry, I'm really into Gale more :/' when I have never done anything to imply that I'm actually attracted to her besides support her emotionally. Astarion will hit on you the first night you're there (the insight check pass tells you he "doesn't mean it" but IDC that's weird) and he will do this twice more. I have never had a conversation with Astarion past his pop-up ones in camp, and he's still sitting at level one in camp, which testifies I've never had him in my party.

I did end up romancing Gale (which, his scenes made me wildly uncomfortable, but that's a personal thing) but I've seen people on the forums get annoyed because they were forced into 'romancing' Gale because they were just trying to emotionally support him, and how, apparently, Gale doesn't take no for an answer and will repeatedly sexually harass the player. From my time romancing him, I wholeheartedly believe that.

I have initiated battle with an NPC I never had a direct conversation with, and she remarked that she was disappointed that we were fighting, and that she expected me to be, "another notch on her bedpost." NPCs you will have known for a morning will INSIST on fucking you. Your ONLY choices with another is either to fuck him or to not speak with him, the game doesn't offer you anything else. Another NPC, the one that sparked my last post, I had saved from a mind flayer, and she immediately tried to fuck me once she realized that I had a parasite, and it took four separate no's to get her off my back.

I felt less sexually pressured in Cyberpunk 2077, a game with a main theme being the oversexualization and perversion of the culture and the many side missions involving prostitution. I had to actively seek out any sort of sexual encounter in that game, and it gives you plenty of opportunities to say 'No, I just want to be your friend.'

There is a way to avoid the companion's interactions, and that's simply to... not have any. You can start up a "LAN" party with four instances of the game, make the characters you wish, and then quit the instances of the non-host to get control of the characters. You can also, a bit later into the game, hire 'hirelings' that are essentially the same thing, but I know it takes a couple rests to get to that, and I don't know if you can solo up until that part unless you have a damn good idea about the encounters. You cannot kick people out of your camp once they're there, they either have to leave of their own free will, or you have to kill them. In EA, the other companions would aggro onto you if they did that. No idea if it changed.

Like I said before, Lae'zel takes no for an answer. She's weird about her coming onto you, but I told her no and she took it. Shadowheart made a pass at me, but I had ignored it because in the EA she got offended if you tried to have sex with her, and didn't expect that to change. She does seem like her romance is harder to get to than the others, so there's that. I have managed without another incident with her, but I also haven't had her in my party since I picked up Karlach, so that might be why. Karlach hasn't hit on me from my recollection but I still somehow have romanced her. I have never taken Wyll, so I have no idea about him. Astarion and Gale are the real bad ones. I just don't talk to the non-origin companions, and that works out for me (though Minthara, if you go the evil route, WILL be really sexually imposing in your first 'companion' convo with her, haven't played that far into evil yet though).

I adore the fights in this game, and the story is.... starting to droop in Act 3, admittedly, but it has enough interesting diverging paths that I will likely replay it a couple times, but I am so sick of all the companions. Once I'm done with a good run and a bad run, I don't think I could ever bring myself to picking up story companions again.

#ask #bg3

[thefangirltreehouse]

general observations (cyberpunk 2077)

just to preface, i’ve not played through the main story at all since 2021 on my base playstation four and i’m currently replaying on my playstation five. i played as fem!corpo!v both times. this will probably have continued updates as i get further into the endgame.

“don’t look now, but that’s jenkins’ girl.” i know it’s probably not intentional but that sounds like a loaded statement.

the way kerry calls fem!v “doll” is so fuckin’ cute.

wakako calls her “honey” which again, very cute. also was dying at her “is this the dali lama?” when v sarcastically implies she simply couldn’t fathom murdering for money.

the peralez’s are one of those couples and i cannot get that out of my head.

fuck the voodoo boys. i didn’t pay much attention the first play-through and ended up siding with them because of how much the game makes it clear that you shouldn’t trust corpos and i hadn’t wrapped my head around the evelyn stuff. choose netwatch and felt a little better this time.

joshua still makes my skin scrawl and i dislike those like him irl but i wish we had more interactions like what happened with vasquez - him seeing v as a legitimate dangerous liability. (i’m genuinely surprised they didn’t do that with river, surely he done some digging into v?)

i’m terribly paraphrasing but i’ve noticed there is a couple of thugs in a coronado / arroyo side mission that are like “yo, that’s v.”

i saved brick and royce, kinda disappointed you’re stuck with royce in the totentanz mission - nice to see dum dum remember v by name and how nippy v gets over jackie’s mention.

royce - or millitech obviously kill brick because his grave is there

honestly i just wanted more of the ol’ samurai geezers.

i forgot just how many npc’s hit on fem!v in comparison to male!v like, fingers guards, jacob, the roadie, general population, the bargest guards when leaving the black sapphire (that might be both v’s), they also say “ooh! you little whore!” and also kerry’s “nice rack” dig at johnny. not to mention how many folk call her a bitch, slut, cunt and white during combat.

skippy’s disturbia never gets old, especially considering it’s seventy-years-old at that point.

i still don’t understand why there isn’t an option to give kerry back his guitar - that he clearly wants back - if you’ve met him before the padré side-quest.

really not a fan of having to build quickhacks when you’re essentially buying a blueprint.

“where’s kerry been hiding you?” oh he definitely told them the ‘new output’ shtick.

jesus christ it is so much easier to make money now.

i know it’s the future and things are a little more blasé plus he’s an old, jaded rockstar but i was a little taken aback with just how much kerry calls us cracks “whores, cunts, sluts and bitches” like chill.

a little disappointed aurore had no intention of fucking v.

i can’t stand grimes but i wish we had one more mission for lizzy wizzy

style-wise, phantom liberty is a massive step-up but the clothing in this game is atrocious especially if you want to wear anything girly.

it’s nice to be able to see the colour of v’s hair this time.

i love my little type-66 avenger.

corpo!fem!v is the perfect foil to johnny. also love how some the most notable people in johnny’s life are women. alt, rogue, denny, nancy and depending on your choice, v.

i don’t really ship johnny with v, but the “old married couple” dig was spot-on.

i’m personally conflicted on so-mi, but i’d probably lean towards saving her. that said, i fundamentally believe v wouldn’t. she’s looking for a lifeline and so-mi purposely dangled it over her. she’s not got beef with the nusa, they’re offering what so-mi cannot.

still cannot stand the photo-mode filters.

i’m forever curious about the sobchak cut storyline that was given to river and takemura.

vik’s mocking, “ooOOoooh” towards zetatech and not being allowed drink on the job.

leigh’s acting when johnny simply takes v’s body after the rogue arasaka mission and just the entire langley section are so well executed. v and river’s farewell’s in langley and in the badlands will always break my heart.

sampson’s grave just read’s “he loved his car.”

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #v cyberpunk #johnny silverhand #jackie welles #kerry eurodyne #judy alvarez #panam palmer #rogue amendiares #alt cunningham #goro takemura #river ward

[2xplusungood]

My personal interpretations of Cruelty Squad

Firstly: The Triagons gave birth to each other, hence why "X triagon was born of Y" where Y is usually what the previous one represented. I mention this specifically becuase I've seen a lot of people assume the trigons represent what they are born from, which A. The wording seems to say otherwise and B. I have reason to believe otherwise.

Like the whole idea of peeling an onion at the end of the game, the key to understanding them is to start from the outside and work inward, going backwards.

The Third triagon was born of Death. With life now being finite, the energy being given to the earth (Organism) was suddenly more than was needed to sustain life, thus creating wealth. With the creation of wealth, conflict was born.

It takes the form of Abraxas in the Archon Grid (Or rather a part of them that was planted as a "seed" hence his flower like form). He is Capitalism and the spirit of the free market. The idea of wealth as a very concept. He is also your boss, both philosophically and physically.

To explain this, I first have to explain my theory about how the world of Cruelty Squad works. You see, CONTROL, the building you raid in Office, is the parent company of every other company. Each company fights, thrives, lives and dies in competition with each other, but in reality they are little more than the various tendrils of CONTROL, who manages this whole ecosystem to make Abraxas continually grow in power (Again he's literally a flower).

Elsa Holmes "The Archdemoness" and the 4 subarchons essentially act as gatekeepers to Archon grid, and once they are dead, the grid opens up and you kill Abraxas.

By doing so, you eliminate all wealth, and by extension conflict from the world. You live among friends and spend the rest of your life in idle contentment. Everyone is equal, represented by an infinite flat plane. But without conflict, you are now trapped and unable to change anything. Change cannot be brought about without conflict and youre now stuck in a world of emptiness, the tower you're walking to is infinitely far away, much like how you will now never reach a better understanding of the universe.

The Third Triagon's color is Red. Worn by the wealthy people in Idiot Party and the CTO in Office.

The second Triagon was born of Life. Its death, nice and straight forward. An end to the previously infinite expanse of life. This leads nicely into my theory about "Divine Link"

Now a lot of games that have respawn tend to invoke the philosophical question "are you really still you?" Cruelty Squad does not. Once you die and have your divine link severed, thats it. You are now nothing but a flesh automoton driven by neurotransmitters. A flesh golem implanted with the previous memories of you. Your literal soul is gone. This is why trying to enter divine link doors say "something feels missing"

The Divine sphere heals you spiritually and physically. It undoes the experimental power in misery modifications and restores you as you.

But what if, instead of a soul, you supplemented it with... something else? What if you turned away from the light entirely and embraced the fact that you're nothing more than an instrument of death? What if your soul was made of negative energy? What if every breath you took was only a means to spread as much death as physically possible.

So yes, I am saying that Hope Eradicated is basically you becoming the Lich from Adventure Time and filling the spot where a soul should be with something thats not a soul.

The "Life" ending is interesting to me. The big face with LIFE written on it says you're meeting the Triagon of life, but everything else says otherwise. To meet him, you must first KILL THE FEW FRIENDS YOU HAVE (This is 100% canon too. Once you enter Cruelty Squad HQ on Hope Eradicated, all the NPCS who were nice to you suddenly die and will not respawn and the face will even say "Your friends are in Hell, yet you smile), pass the hallway toxic to all life and then kill the CEO to take his place, either by the ZKZ transactional rifle (Which is powered up by your CEO mindset) or with the Bolt ACR, a weapon that no longer affects you.

My theory is that this is actually the Triagon of Death, the LIFE sign simply being irony. Life is a joke to are . You spread death and suffering all in the name of your own desires. Nothing is more important.

The second Triagon's color is Blue. Worn by the security at idiot party, and the CSO in Office, as well as the color of the Hope Eradicated border.

Confronting Death, they are in awe of you. You become the new CEO and now have the final piece of the puzzle to face the First and Final Triagon.

The Third Triagon was born out of Malice, but is life itself. This is horrendous to think about considering the implication is that life in and of itself is evil. By entering the trauma loop, you make your way over to the Cradle of Life, where life itself came from. In doing so, you've basically launched yourself into the very inner workings of universe. You fuck everything up so bad that the value of life becomes negative, but you, as a being of DEATH instead grow to be so much more. A "being of pure grace"

You look upon the vast cosmos that are now your kingdom and you begin to peel an onion. As you go layer by layer, the laws of the universe begin to break down and it becomes an infinitely dense spec once again.

Remember that life was born of Malice. The universe itself is an organism of Malice. It hates you. It hates itself. It does not want to exist. So you grant it mercy. By doing so you've deleted existance itself. What was once the universe is now empty but content with itself. A "Golden Age" The color of first triagon is Green, worn by the high priest in Idiot Party, Human Resources in Office, your landlord and several other people who are uniquely tied to the "greater meaning" of the game.

#cruelty squad #spoilers

[omensgate]

fav campaign and why

<this is YOUR invitation to send me asks about anything>

oh god im no good at having feelings or opinions so ill just go down a list rattling off my experiences with the campaigns

for the record from the start ive been cheating, ive Never played this game blind. id consumed a lot of rain world playthrough medias before playing it (im not good at playing games in the sense that i simply do not experience them- im a speedrunner at heart... or not competitive or intelligent, im just walking fast paced from start to end...) and when i did play i always had a map and the wiki open which i think diminishes some of the feeling. but i still had fun moving from place to place

SURVIVOR: its classic. its sweet. its fun. i played about halfway through myself, but the second half i completed with my "Boyfriend" so i remember it as being very entertaining as we both fumbled around and learned together. it serves its purpose well and i think anything i enjoy about rain world can be seen in the survivor campaign at least to start off with... 10/10 nothing special but no loss by playing it yknow. ive also done an outer expanse + baby run (ftr if you want baby fast before going to outer expanse, live in industrial for a while. cannot compete with that pup spawn rate + you can easily make the rounds to check like 5 shelters a cycle before its anywhere near over) which yes -_- did make me cry.

MONK: i.. dont like playing monk. friendliness from other creatures does not mean much to me when actively hostile creatures are near impossible to kill because my spear can travel one (1) slugcats worth in distance so i would not play this with my fairly aggressive play style... i only played it for the short time itd take to get to outer expanse and. again. yes. i cried -_- i think its very sweet, and i am like. (clinically) psychotically attached to monk where its very important to my heart BUT Its not fun as a game experience to me

HUNTER: i tried to jolly co op cheat and play as arti to finish this as i find arti the easiest to play as but i kept crashing which is. you know. very bad for the single campaign where you want to be losing the least so ive never made much progress with this one and i genuinely dont want to open hunter back up because of the crashing. i THINK This was because i was playing w the sunhat mod because ive never experienced that magnitude of crashing constantly and uninstalled it after and have not experienced that again until... well youll read later

GOURMAND: i played this one from the start with my "Boyfriend" and so again it was fun from that, ESPECIALLY because he played as artificer and so was essentially my chariot throughout the campaign... easy way to beat gourmands exhaustion: make your partner carry you. shrimple. its SO fun to beat the shit out of creatures and i do like being forced to just take a moment and walk around slowly, i havent found his exhaustion toooo terrible if youre just patient except when youre fighting creatures that have health enough that you cant kill them in one hit. but being able to just slam something to death is SO satisfying, i enjoyed it. HOWEVER, ive never actually gotten to the END (Due to "Boyfriend" availability, we've stopped just outside the outer expanse gate). and of course, yes, every single fucking time i watch someone go into outer expanse i CRY LIKE A BABY. the first i think DOZEN times i watched people go through outer expanse, id start WAILING whenever i just saw slugcat npcs, it tugs and tears at my heart strings so badly. youre not alone. youve spent a campaign or two trudging through a wasteland empty of kind relatable figures but youre HOME now, just as you left it, and everyones so happy to see you back. im crying now . (do i just cry a lot? Maybe. im at an emotional point in my life... be nice.) 12/10 above survivor def, and gourmands my most favorite to play as in expedition- cant argue with that combat system + exhaustion isnt too bad for me + i love the variety of the world, its not impossibly difficult while not being easy.

ARTIFICER: ive never finished revenge route, ill be going to a different save file to try and it now, instead ive finished the ascension route. i know arti can be... extremely frustrating to play because its hitting a wall again and again and again but i really didnt have too much trouble approaching it knowing i had to be prepared to die + using my map a lot ("WTF this game is so unfair i cant see enemies about to shoot me!" Use Your Map. use your map and slug senses) + of course... ample map skills so im not ambling and getting like im getting lost and dying for nothing. though i will say, i did nearly give up at exactly the end- i think its the camera scroll mod but subterranean made the game near unplayable. like 0.5 frames per second, computer screaming, crashing i think a half dozen times again in an area where i NEEDED the karma to the point where i had to passage in place so i could ascend, and then crashing i think thrice while i was in the depths, including not allowing me to see the end cutscene... specifically that huge room with the big pit would grind the game to a halt i think because its so large and all the enemy AI, and all the spiders and centipedes are a nightmare and i just... hated it. every other leg of the game was fine, rewarding, heart touching but dear fucking lord, subterranean isnt more difficult or intriguing its just "the games not going to play smoothly at all and heres 5000000 ridiculously enemies". i WANT to love it, you know i love arti, but its just impossible to play if you want to ascend. and of course revenge route is crazy short which feels bad. removed from my experiences though, i think its beautiful with the one caveat that revenge route is TOO short. ive watched way too many people who were interested in the lore never get to even the third dream because theres just not enough shelters if you run straight to metropolis, which makes me sad. but the story generally is beautiful and i love it (and i could talk about it later, some of the things people say about arti makes me.. insane. either that shes totally righteous in her actions, or that her pups deaths are her fault)

SPEARMASTER: playing this one while cheating both using the map to plan exactly the route you need and to go through precipice as arti for the double jump + to swallow the pearl made it an absolute dream. yes the world is very scary but you can avoid a lot of the worst parts by simply not being there <3 one part: i did forget to change back to spearmaster before going to moon and she did crash my game so . remember to do that. very good campaign both for me to have played without doing anything as intended (never touched a broadcast), combat is fun, but also a very good story. i really like five pebbles and... i cannot get into the degree of five pebbles apologist i am i genuinely cant detail this without going off the rails. regardless; much 2 think about.

RIVULET: never played this one + not playing this one very scary looks bad dont want it. no rot no underwater sections no thank you. wont touch it. wont look at it. thank you

SAINT: hesitant to play this one due to the adventure aspect though i already got all echoes with arti so it cant be that bad- of course the story aspect of it all cannot be understated and it fully shattered my world view when i got into it. rain worlds live and die messaging has really helped me through suicidal and delusional periods and im very glad for what can be gleaned from saints story so i do like it a lot. as ive said before its also so amazing how a game with little to no tutorial text or cutscenes can have numerous jaw drop moments (with max karma reveal and descent into rubicon)

SOFANTHIEL: funny haha! (Jumps around

#ask #and you dont need to know why i keep referring to 'boyfriend'. thats for me to know ok ? <3

[voxblade]

You seem to reblog a decent amount of Skyrim from me now so I need you to give me your fav random piece of lore or knowledge or anything about any elder scrolls anything (I fully expect you to just make something up entirely)

Make that pieces, because I can't answer anything short form to save my life and there's a lot I've scrambled together overtime. Uhhh...

- I half-remember reading that apparently the dwarves were SO ATHEIST that when they found proof that gods existed, they went "fuck that" and yeeted themselves out of the continuity and into another dimension or something

- the dragonborn's power is shouts. I understand that they are divine or some shit and taken from an ancient draconic language or w/e but I refuse to believe at least one of those shouts isn't them screaming

"THAT'S MY OPINION"

(Or that at least it isn't a mod)

- there are some dudes called the nords and they collectively are the CEOs of racism. the whole of the nords. All of them.

- you can kill a dragon voiced by super mario himself. given that Italians are inherently evil, killing him appears to be the correct moral choice.

- The jester man you like is a mama's boy and the MILF in question is basically a weird shriveled raisin thing that lives in a coffin. #Hotgirl-goals. He also feeds cats to rats?? According to another mutual??? which as a fan of cats makes me sad, but as an even bigger fan of rats I find oddly cathartic, in a juvenile way. My babies have long been overdue for revenge for the billions of beautiful lives lost to cruel nature and cruel fate. Yes. Reverse the food chain. I hope they eat humans next. (Assuming this is even real.)

- there's some fucking guy you hate named Jason or something who wants to be a big deal but he's an absolutely terrible companion and he dies to fucking everything. He's not even cute in a pathetic meow meow way? Which sounds like me to be honest. Maybe I kin him without realizing. You don't know. I don't know.

- There is a long and arduous side quest not many players know about. In Whiterun, if you leave the Bannered Mare, there's a 1 in 76 chance you will find a strange NPC called Thes waiting by the door. If interacted with, Thes will ask the player a series of strange questions to try to get to know their character. Should the player answer to Thes's liking, he will say "ah. You've also lost the use for truth. This will serve you well". Thes will leave after saying this and the player will unlock the Kindred Spirit quest. It's a bit clunky from this point on, but essentially, you have various markers on your map to track down, each promising something "new", but whenever you get close to them, the positions will move and cannot be found, even through cheats. What the player must do is try for the same rolling chance that summoned Thes in the first place by entering and leaving the Bannered Mare over and over again, except when they succeed the roll this time, Thes will be replaced by a new identical character with a new name, insisting his name is Da. Da will ask the player if they are having any trouble meeting the objectives and the player has the option to call him out. This will learn a laugh ("but they just work! What's the commotion?"), and Da eventually adds a new marker to the map, this one leading towards the Den of Falsehoods (this is commonly confused with the Liar's Retreat). To make a long story short, this is also bullshit but I'm getting tired of summarizing. After a bunch of bullshit, at the end of the quest, Da will be waiting for the player in the core of the den, this time named "Beth". When confronted this time, "Beth" will talk to the player about the nature of truth and falsehood and the player can ask for them to reveal their true name. "Beth" will comply, but only after asking if you would ever love a liar like him. If you say no, "Beth" will nod and say he understands and also will tell the player to be excited for Fallout 76. This is very curious, and possibly reference to Bethesda's other franchise, Fallout, and its entry Fallout 76, which wasn't in development when Skyrim was first released. "Beth" will then leave the game and cannot be found again. If the player says yes, "Beth" thanks them and reveals their true face: a curious npc named Todd Howard. Todd Howard apologizes for his lies but curiously will not give the player any sort of reward for having done the quest. It is also possible from this point to marry him if the player is so inclined. This is ill advised, because Todd Howard will keep all of the money from whatever business he opens and he never sleeps, which some players reportedly find creepy.

- I like that little freak the adoring fan and how you can make him run off a cliff

- there is a mod (???) that lets you summon Santa Claus like a primordial ancient demon and I think it works for him. Santa really served cunt in that mod.

- Sheogoraths line of "CHEESE, FOR EVERYONE!!!" may be indicative of the fact he likes cheese.

#asks

[serowebs]

Absolute brainfart just now but like

what if They added npc prey to cos again you can chase down and kill because like-

it would be more fun for people that maybe do not wanna engage in combat or are completely alone in their private servers because atleast from my experience being in a private server just feels so empty and bland because absolutely nothing is going on and all you can do there is essentially just exist

and like- if it is too boring why not just go in a public server? but if you are in a public server then it becomes way too extreme because everything and everyone wants you dead so like what if we just add an essentially easy mode to the game :sob:

it could also take away some of this reliability of needing to exclusively kill others for boosts like satiation and shit and while I know you cannot take away pvp from cos making it a bit more optional in my opinion would be better for some people

#creatures of sonaria #roblox #sonar studios

[morgana-ren]

Hmmm. This is perhaps an odd scenario to pop into my mind, but bear with me for a moment.

Now when you finally find Halsin in the Worg pens, he's being tormented by two goblin children, who, if you initiate a fight, will run away and summon a few extra guards unless you kill them first. Luckily for my soft heart, there are no consequences for that beyond three more NPCs joining the fight who aren't even very hard to kill lol

So... My mind has jumped to this scenario: we all know Astarion can be very cruel in his practical, survivalist way. Consider... Astarion's surprise when Tav, perhaps a paladin or druid or one of the goodie-two-shoes classes suddenly gets just as vicious as he, stopping him from shooting down the two little goblins and allowing them to escape. Tav almost roars their order to stop at him, as furious as the bear they just freed, and in shock he does, instead shooting down or stabbing one of the adults. They're bristling, savage in their righteous rage, teeth bare and spattered with blood after the fight ends as they snarl that there are lines they will never cross, not even for him. Their heart aches for the suffering he went through at the hands of Cazador and they want to help him achieve peace with it, whatever it takes to do so, but they don't have the luxury that he does of picking up and putting down their conscience. Unfortunately, not every time they cleave to their principles is sure to be as manageable as just a few more goblins poking their nose into a fight.

But they hold their line. No. Child. Murder. Ever. Not even goblin children.

How does Astarion handle a Tav who loves him, wants to help him, even trusts him to bare their heart and turn their back to him... But still challenges him because they remember he's still a monster and they aren't, not yet at least?

Ultimately, I think that's what Astarion needs. Desperately. He needs someone to rein in his darker urges and remind him of the humanity in him-- that he isn't the monster he thinks he is, and that he still has control over himself and doesn't have to fall into the pit of depravity just because he feels he is one.

However, what Astarion needs and what Astarion wants are two totally different things.

It's just raw pragmatism is all. Vampires have changes that happen to them that even they can't control. His desperation shows through when he's willing to feed on Tav despite being in a camp full of warriors that would almost certainly slay him if he was discovered. He needs that blood or he goes feral. He quite literally cannot help himself.

This coupled with his selfish, survivalist nature can be a recipe for disaster. It's only fair that Tav might be wary, because their morals might not align with Astarion's in any given situation, and the darker situations, like the maiming of a child, it might be difficult to know where he stands, so it's easier just to draw the line in the sand before he has a chance to cross it.

He doesn't like it. Astarion likes power. Astarion likes to do what Astarion wants to do without anyone there to question him. Astarion wants full control of his actions and autonomy-- including freedom from the consequences of those choices, regardless of how they might reflect on him.

But that's not love. Love is selfish, yes, but love is also compromise. Love is understanding and caring about your partners needs and feelings, and I think that's genuinely hard for him because it's asking him to give up the one thing he genuinely wants and strives for: Complete and total freedom.

It would take extreme tact and precision, because essentially, if his affection wanes, he has no problem walking away because the sacrifice isn't worth the benefit. He can really like Tav, but realize that he's a vampire that is essentially immortal and he can eventually find someone more suited to his tastes.

But let's assume he doesn't want to. Let's assume he genuinely loves Tav back and is willing to work.

It would still take immense tact. You would basically have to manipulate him and make him think that making the right choices is what he wants. It would have to be framed in such a way that he thinks he came to the conclusion himself. Tav might have to do a mental deep dive and try to figure out why the lines are where they are, because telling Astarion "Because it's the right thing to do" isn't going to fly.

For children, you might be able to frame it as 'They are no threat to you, it's a pointless waste of energy and arrows," or "Focus on the threat at hand. Let them run and focus on the ones that aren't."

I think it's impossible to change Astarion and make him a stereotypical 'good' guy. He is who he is and has centuries of his personality being carved into stone. He will always have to be held in check if there's something truly reprehensible he's aiming for. But you can sort of rewire his brain in a small way so that the truly dreadful things are things he won't consider because he doesn't think he wants to.

He will, essentially, always have to be babysat by a 'good' character, and it is immensely draining, but that's what it is to love a monster.

You cannot change the monster; you can work to tame it, but it will always be a monster. You can love a monster, and it may even love you, but you cannot change its nature.

What makes Astarion a monster isn't that he is a vampire, but that he knows he a vampire. He knows what people expect from him, and he doesn't really give a shit to subvert those expectations. What makes him a monster is his selfishness, and his will do to whatever it takes to be free and live the life he feels was robbed from him. Tav would be asking him to change who he is if they wanted to change that entirely, and that just won't work.

Compromise is the answer. Manipulation and compromise. You'd have to slap a leash on him without him realizing what you've done. And you'd have to make him very happy in the meantime.

#Morgana and friends #Astarion #Baldur's Gate 3 #On a side note #I don't think those are goblin children #There is a dead goblin child in the cave below the ravaged town and it just looks like a smaller goblin #I'm fairly certain those are full grown pixies or imps or something #I can't recall the name #So if you ever accidentally hurt them don't feel bad! #I'm fairly certain they are full grown adults #I let them run anyway because I'm not there to sew unnecessary death

[atamascolily]

princess tutu re-watch, episode 25

Oh, so THAT's why Drosselmeyer is haunting the narrative… he wrote the story in his own blood even before his hands got cut off. I'm sure that won't be at all relevant to Fakir's arc in this episode!

Drosselmeyer (watching a recap of the ending of last episode including Rue's confession): Holy shit, I did not see that one coming! Goddamn it, that was supposed to be Tutu's lines right before she disappeared!

Raven: Okay, I ate Rue, but don't worry, she's totally fine! I'm just using her as a hostage!

Mytho: I need the last shard back, Tutu.

Tutu: That's fine, just gimme a sec--wait, the pendant won't come off!

Raven: I'll give you two a few minutes to work out your equipment difficulties, okay? In the meantime, here is some evil rain that turns all NPCs into crows!

Autor: and here is Drosselmeyer's favorite tea blend to inspire you, Fakir!

Autor: … wow, it sure is noisy out! opens door and sees all the crow townspeople running around What the actual fuck. closes door Fakir, you're not going to believe thi--

Drosselmeyer: stops time Oh, hey, is that me sitting there in that chair? Oh, of course not, I would never hesitate like this little punk.

Fakir: Nice to see you too, great-whatever.

Drosselmeyer inspects Autor's studio: "Fake. Fake. Fake. Would never actually have used that. Fake."

Autor is going to be so pissed that he missed his idol's visit, hahahaha

Drosselmeyer uses his superior willpower to write his version of the the story through Fakir's hands… essentially telling Ahiru to kill herself to save Mytho.

Drosselmeyer: It's your own fault for not doing what you was supposed to do, we have to do this the hard way!

Fakir stabs his writing hand with a letter opener to break the spell and runs off to rescue HER this time!

OH GOD THEY DANCE A PAS DE DEUX TOGETHER WHILE HE'S BEING INSPIRATIONAL AAAAAA MY SHIPPER HEART

It turns out they were dancing on a cog, and Drosselmeyer dumps them into the bowels of the clock, which is also a lake (it's complicated)

Drosselmeyer: hahahaha, you have not yet tasted the depths of despair!

Fakir: how about no because I said so?

meanwhile, Rue is dancing "The Dying Swan", like you do

Fakir and Ahiru resolve to work together to save Mytho, as Fakir narrates the unfolding story, and Ahiru returns the pendant and goes back to being a duck.

Mytho: Cuteness… overload… cannot… think…

Mytho's sword comes back as two swans, so, uh, that was convenient

Drosselmeyer: just in time to shatter the prince's heart all over again, making this story recursive and never-ending! Now that's what I call 'job security'!

#princess tutu #lily liveblogs

[rohirric-hunter]

@isi7140 so last night when I was playing Skyrim with Radanir he displayed a weird propensity for. Putting himself physically in between me and enemies I was facing. Which is not something I have ever observed in a Skyrim NPC before.

Other followers will push past you to get to enemies, but what Radanir was doing was quite distinct. We cleared out a couple of dungeons, and Radanir would regularly abandon fights he was already having in order to go and place himself between me and an enemy. One time I ran away from a fight by dropping down into a pond in the bottom of a cave, and the bandit I was fighting started to run through a series of twisting tunnels to get to where I had landed, and Radanir abandoned the other bandit that he was fighting to chase the one that had gone after me. But he didn't start fighting him until he had gotten in front of him, blocking the narrow tunnel and preventing either him or the other bandit from getting out of it. Another time I ran away from a fight with a single bandit to heal. When I started to run away, Radanir was on the other side of the bandit from me. But when I turned back around, he was again between me and the bandit. I let the fight play out a bit before I rejoined it and Radanir did not move from that spot.

Once or twice is a random coincidence, but this happened consistently over the course of about three hours. With Skyrim's vanilla followers, this never happens. They move around way too much and their only clear intention in fights is to get to the enemy, or get a clear shot at them. The only time they get into a certain spot and don't move is when you walked into a tiny little room, at which point they'll stop in the doorway and refuse to move to let you back out of the room. (To be entirely fair, Radanir did this too.) Occasionally they'll do a thing where they'll circle around an enemy, typically when the enemy is blocking and they're waiting for the block to drop, but again, they move based on the enemy's position, not the player's. And when Radanir did this, more often than not he would stop between me and the enemy, even when the block was still up and he had plenty of space to keep moving.

This actually isn't the first time I've noticed this behavior: all three Rangers also behave this way with each other. A lot of my testing and learning with the Creation Kit is done by simply spawning a bunch of bandits or some trolls into the camp and watching how they handle the ensuing fight, and I'd noticed that when one of them enters bleedout something similar happens. IDK if you play Skyrim so quick explanation: when an NPC is tagged as essential, meaning they can't be killed, and their health bar reaches zero, they enter "bleedout," where they fall down and cannot move or act for a little while (longer if they keep getting hit while they're down) until eventually they'll regain a little health and either rejoin the fight or run away, depending on if their AI is set to "Foolhardy." You'll occasionally see non-essential NPCs enter bleedout, but not very often because usually a hit bad enough to send them into bleedout just kills them.

Back to these specific NPCs: if all three of them are in a fight and one enters bleedout, the other two will go and stand over him until he gets up again. If more than one of them are in bleedout, they will make their way towards each other and huddle together. I thought this was odd, but didn't think anything else about it, because I assumed their behavior was influenced in some way by their relationship: as far as the game engine is concerned, they are all siblings, and I haven't experimented with how vanilla Skyrim siblings behave in dangerous situations, so for all I knew it was normal. (Typically NPCs in bleedout don't move at all, much less make their way towards... anything, really, but I haven't experimented extensively with it.) However, them behaving that way towards the player is very odd, since they aren't siblings with the player -- the player is noted simply as a "friend" and their relationship status is actually as low as it can possibly be while still having them available as followers. So any vanilla follower in the game is going to have at least as good a relationship or better -- and yet none of them do this.

My current theories are limited: either I changed some setting while customizing their AI that made this happen and didn't realize I had, or it has something to do with enabling dual-wielding or the custom classes I made for them, which are the only things that I consciously and intentionally changed that set them apart from vanilla followers. Or. Maybe my custom Skyrim followers are becoming self-aware. Always a possibility, I guess.

#rangercamp #its worrying because. how did he learn to do that #i didnt tell him to do that whats he doing that for #sweet for obvious reasons #also kind of funny because as an essential npc he has the plot armor now #'look at me. look at me. i have the plot armor now' #long post #also #maybe next time i do a test or just play around with them ill record it #i swear im not reading into it his behavior is actually different

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

I'm sorry Bethesda but WHAT THE FUCK?

[Image Description: A screenshot of a TV Tropes page for Starfield, the first reads:

"In the "First Contact" side quest, the player ends up having to mediate a dispute between a resort owned by the Mega-Corp Paradiso and the colony ship ECS Constant. The conflict is that the Constant is a Generation Ship that was headed to colonize Porrima II, but Paradiso beat them there thanks to FTL travel. The player is essentially given three options to resolve the quest: convince the Constant crew to accept indentured servitude to Paradiso until they "earn" their right to live on the planet, pay for a new Grav-Drive out of your own pocket to let the Constant search for a new planet, or simply destroy the Constant and kill its entire crew. However, there is no choice for you to simply kill the greedy Paradiso executives or force them to hand the planet over to the Constant. The Paradiso NPCs also are immune to damage and cannot be killed, so you're railroaded into only taking paths that will ultimately benefit Paradiso and essentially screw over the Constant."

The second:

"The Unkillable Essential NPCs return from previous Bethesda RPGs and remain as frustrating as ever, especially in comparison to comparable games like Baldur's Gate III and The Outer Worlds which give you the freedom to blow up questlines to take out hated NPCs if you really want to. Party members really hate it when you take a bullet to the head of not actively hostile NPCs, too, no matter how unforgivably awful they might be. (A particularly obnoxious example of this is the CEO of Paradiso, who casually suggests genocide as a solution to the "problem" posed by the ECS Constant arriving in orbit around the planet; many players will want to take a gun to him right there, but he's tagged essential and there is no solution to the questline beyond one of the compromises fielded in the meeting. Compared to what BG3 or TOW might let you do in such a place, it's extremely frustrating and can make one wonder about the narrative message of the quest.)"

End Image Description].

(I guess we gotta side with the greedy mega corporation turning a planet into a luxury resort for the mega rich).

#bethesda #starfield #starfield spoilers #starfield critical

[ablegaming]

Dark Souls Remastered accessibility review

Game title: Dark Souls Remastered

Platform(s): Windows, Steam Deck, Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, remote play on phone, tablet, or TV (through Steam, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One) Originally released on: Windows, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3

Languages: English, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Polish, Portugese, Russian, Spanish, and traditional and simplified Chinese

Age rating: ESRB M, PEGI 16

Genre/theme: Dark fantasy action RPG; your character makes use of melee weapons, bows, shields, magic, miracles, and pyromancy to take down hordes of monsters, dragons, undead, and powerful bosses in the bleak lands of Lordran. Leveling up, learning new skills, improving the estus flask, and kindling bonfires are essential to survival and success in this medieval netherworld.

Violence: Heavy; adding a macabre comedic effect to the game, corpses have ridiculous ragdoll physics and can be flung around as if they hardly weigh anything, sometimes getting stuck on your foot and dragged around like toilet paper, sometimes getting stuck glitching out in a wall. There is a fair amount of blood spray from attacks which can be turned off in the Options menu, though limb and tail dismemberment during battle will still occur with enemies and bosses. Note that intentionally or accidentally killing NPCs and merchants results in permanent death for their character, and you losing access to their services.

Maturity: Partial nudity. No sexuality, swearing, or drugs or alcohol references. The dark nature of the world and the hideous creatures and boss designs are totally the stuff of nightmares, I wouldn’t recommended it for children, even with the blood turned off.

Phobias: Blood/gore: The Show Blood setting can be turned off in the Options menu. Dismemberment will still remain with this turned off (a couple of bosses have tails that can be cut off to be used as powerful weapons), but there will no longer be any bloodspray or puddles. Heights: Yes; you can fall from great heights to your death. Drowning: Yes; your character cannot swim and will sink immediately when stepping into deep water. This is avoidable if you look closely at the water, the land’s edge can be seen and carefully avoided. Sharks: None Spiders: Yes; Chaos Witch Quelaag is half-human and half-spider, and has spider legs. Defeating this boss is required to progress through the main story. Underwater: None

Multiplayer: Online multiplayer supports up to 6 players on a dedicated server, multiplayer can be played cooperatively or player-vs-player. There is no local split-screen multiplayer mode. Note that when playing online your world is open to be invaded, so if you prefer to avoid having a random online player load into your world and murder you then you may want to play the game in offline mode. Online players can leave messages on the ground for players to see in their game world; these can be a mix of helpful, funny, and the opposite of helpful (leading you to your death), so read them with discretion. Gestures can be used to communicate with players online, either in a helpful way or to tease/taunt in player-vs-player.

To play cooperatively online you will need to obtain the White Sign Soapstone item from Solaire (in Undead Burg) by either saying yes to his first two requests or by killing him and taking it. Place the White Sign Soapstone in one of your item slots and then you can press the use-item button to leave a cooperative summon sign on the ground in the location that you need help completing.

You can also play cooperatively with friends online by setting the same network password and then leaving a summon sign. I have not done this myself, and from my understanding neither player can have already beaten the boss you’re taking on together, so they must be at the same point in the story. Note that The Great Hollow, Ash Lake, Dragon Valley, Undead Asylum, and the final boss cannot be played cooperatively.

To play competitively online you must find and use a Cracked Red Eye Orb, which allows you to invade the world of a random player online. The game will load you near their location, and then you can find them and challenge them to battle (they don’t really get a say in the matter). The winner collects however many experience points (souls) the loser was carrying.

Difficulty modes: None; upon completing the game New Game + begins, rolling your character over into a new story playthrough with increased difficulty and also increased experience points. This can be done as many times as you wish to play through the main story at a more challenging difficulty level.

Almost every area has at least one summonable character you can call out to to help you fight through the area and the boss battle, some areas even have two or three summonable fighters. Make sure to keep Humanities stocked and use one to regain your humanity and reveal these summon signs, often placed near the boss fog doors. These fighters will aggro most bosses, taking the heat off of you and allowing you to sneak around and attack the boss from behind. Don’t be ashamed to make use of these support characters, as some of the bosses are extremely tough (*cough* Smough and Ornstein).

If you’re having trouble getting past a specific area or boss, leveling up will likely help. Spend a fair amount of time running through the same areas a few times in a row to collect experience points to use on improving your stats. Leveling up the Attunement stat will also unlock additional spell slots at certain levels for magic, pyromancy, and miracle users to fill with a learned spell.

One totally valid approach to the game is to walk or run past most of the enemies. Enemies will chase you if you do this so you’ll need to be swift, but generally you can avoid most enemies and just run through the level directly to the boss room, you’ll see this a lot in YouTube walkthroughs showing the path to the boss.

Complexity: High; Dark Souls is probably not the best game for anyone who doesn’t enjoy serious gaming challenges. It requires practice to master, and you absolutely learn from your mistakes along the way. There are many hidden paths and puzzles and you will almost definitely have to refer to a strategy guide or video walkthroughs once or twice (or a lot more than that). Thankfully there are a ton of useful videos on YouTube detailing the path to almost any item or boss you’re trying to find.

Certain rings and elemental weapons can be more/less effective against certain enemies and bosses, and this isn’t very well explained in the game, but you’ll notice for instance a fire weapon may not do very much damage against an enemy that seems to have high fire resistance. Finding the right gear and elemental magic to use can take a bit of trial and error, though many of the walkthroughs and guides available will mention these advantages/disadvantages. Inventory management is also a critical component of the game, and there are several blacksmiths and merchants you can purchase weapons, armor, and items from, and later in the game you can sell your extra items to Kingseeker Frampt (near the Firelink Shrine).

Instructions, saving, story recap, menus, & waypoints: FromSoftware is not known for holding your hand or explaining things clearly in their games, so you’ll likely need to reference a strategy guide, walkthrough, or videos. The story is fragmented and filled with mystery, with bits of world lore to be discovered everywhere.

Choose the Master Key as your gift when starting the game; I can’t recommend this highly enough, it will open up several pathways and make navigating Lordran significantly easier. The controls are explained in a quick tutorial following your character creation at the beginning of the game, and can also be referenced in the “Button Settings” section of the Options menu.

Dark Souls uses a bonfire checkpoint system, where your character must reach the next bonfire to save their progress, return their character to full health, and to level up. The first bonfire you encounter (the Firelink Shrine) works as a central hub with many branching paths, and you’ll visit this area many times throughout the game. Bonfires can be kindled by using a Humanity and then offering that humanity at the bonfire, this increases the strength of the bonfire which allows you to refill your Estus Flask with even more healing charges (up to 20 maximum). Elevators and shortcuts can be unlocked to make travel from area to area quicker, yet this game does not have fast-travel like Dark Souls 2, 3, and Elden Ring, so prepare to do some walking and to learn the routes between areas.

Building on the success of the game design from FromSoftware’s Demon’s Souls, Dark Souls continues the tradition of collecting experience points from each enemy defeated, then should you get killed before reaching the next bonfire checkpoint your experience points will be dropped in the location that your character was killed. You then must make it back to this location to acquire the experience points again, otherwise they’re lost forever if you die again. Homeward Bones are very useful items to keep in your inventory, as they allow you to warp back to the previously visited bonfire without losing any experience points.

Note that there is no waypoint or map in-game, though maps can be found in the strategy guide and online. Menus are fairly straightforward to navigate and there are brief descriptions of each item in your inventory. You can also press the “Toggle Display” button to reveal even more information about items, and the “Toggle Status” button to check the status of weapons and armor. The Bottomless Box can be purchased from Domhnall of Zena (in the Depths), which gives you access to an infinite inventory and allows you to manage that inventory at a bonfire.

Two weapons, a shield, catalyst (magic spells), talisman (healing miracles), and pyromancy flame (fire magic) can be equipped to each arm, allowing you to carry a total of 4 pieces of gear that can be easily switched between with the press of a button. Weapons and armor deteriorate with use and can break, requiring you to take them to a blacksmith and pay a hefty price to fully repair them. You’ll receive a warning message when your weapon or armor is at risk, and you should switch to a different piece of gear or use a Repair Powder. I recommend switching between at least two weapons fairly regularly to avoid this when going through longer areas, as well as always repairing any damage your gear has whenever you stop by a blacksmith.

Weapons and armor are improved by collecting or buying Titanite Shards, Large Titanite Shards, Titanite Chunks, Titanite Slabs, Twinkling Titanite, and the various forms of magic-infused Titanite, and then paying a blacksmith to improve the stats of your gear with the required number of Titanite in your inventory. When you defeat a boss they will drop their soul as an item, which you should hang onto to use for boss weapon crafting once you meet the Giant Blacksmith in Anor Londo, who can do all of the advanced smithing.

Subtitles: Yes; subtitles are utilized.

Text customization: UI Scale can be customized, but only shrunk, there are are no options larger than 1.00X unfortunately. The HUD can also be turned off/on. The text is a small-medium size white font on a dark background, and is readable, but it would be nice if the font size could be increased. Note that the Xbox One X, PlayStation 4 Pro, and gaming PCs can run the game at 4k resolution, which may make text and the UI appear smaller.

Voice acting: None; only some grunting while jumping and swinging your weapon.

Volume settings: Music, Sounds, and Voice can all be set from 0–10.

Photosensitivity: Brightness can be adjusted in-game and set from 0–10. The glint of the light reflecting off of your shield isn’t particularly easy on the eyes, but with low brightness and contrast it’s tolerable. Some shields are more/less reflective than others and this is mostly an issue when holding a weapon with two-hands and keeping your shield stowed on your back.

Lightning weapons, lightning spells, and gold pine resin all make use of intense flashing lightning animations. I definitely don’t recommend anyone with medium-high photosensitivity attempt to play the game using lightning spells or weapons, though fire, poison, crystal, raw, occult, divine, chaos, and dragon weapons don’t create any flashing effects, but fire weapons and spells do have a flickering effect when in a dark area. Candles and bonfires have a slight flickering effect, and bonfires will blaze brighter with even more intense lighting effects as you kindle them. Thankfully the bonfire menu overlays and blocks the flame so you don’t have to stare into the fire while leveling up.

Certain enemies make use of lightning weapons and spells, most notably are the Titanite Demons (like the one near Andre the blacksmith). I don’t recommend sticking around these enemies or attempting to take them on until your character has pretty strong stats and gear. Once they’re defeated they will no longer spawn in that area and it will be lightning-free, so there’s some incentive to take them down when you’re up for the task, but their lightning attacks are extremely hard on the eyes, so avoidance and running away quickly may be your best option.

Both the Cloranthy Ring and the Grass Crest Shield increase your stamina recovery speed, and they also both create shimmering sparkles of light on your character for the entire time you have either item equipped; using Green Blossom will have the same effect as well, but only lasts for a short while. These are very useful items and I do recommend using them, playing the game with fairly dim brightness and low contrast will help lessen the visual impact. I don’t recommend focusing your eyes directly on the shimmering sparkles emanating from your character’s torso, but instead on the head of your character or just above their head, or focusing on either arm works just as well.

Motion-sickness and camera: Camera Speed can be adjusted from 1–10 for both X and Y axises. X and Y axises can also be reversed/inverted. Toggle auto lock-on can be turned off/on. Camera auto wall recovery can also be turned off/on. I recommend avoiding putting the camera sensitivity at a high level to avoid any potential motion-sickness, I didn’t experience it much at all with the sensitivity set at about medium.

The framerate is a smooth and steady 60 frames-per-second on PlayStation 4 Pro, Xbox One X, and gaming PC, but is noticeably lower on the Switch, locked at 30fps. The framerate on the base model Xbox One and PlayStation 4 aims for 60fps but can drop down to about 50fps in busy areas and battles. Comparatively, the framerate on the original release for the Xbox 360 and PS3 very rarely made it up to 30fps and could dip as low as 10fps, making for pretty slow chugging graphics.

Colorblindness mode: None; color settings can only be adjusted in TV settings.

Controller rumble: Yes; vibration can be set from 0–10.

Remappable controls: 100% fully remappable, all buttons can be reassigned.

Quick-time events: None; parry attacks require very deliberate timing to counter enemy attacks, but parrying isn’t required to beat the game.

Physical impact: Medium-heavy; can vary depending on what type of weapons you choose to use. Daggers, short swords, whips, and dual weapons require quick button pressing, whereas casting magic spells and fighting with heavier/stronger weapons like spears, hammers, and greatswords is much easier on the hands and arms.

Adaptability and input: Controls are simple, well spaced out, and can be fully customized. Many of the default controls are thumb input, so gamers with thumb or thumb joint struggles may have to set the controller on their lap and play using their fingers but this is definitely doable. Conversely, the shoulder buttons are used for attacks and require a lot of use of the index and middle fingers, but these button can also be mapped to different buttons. Can be played one-handed and with feet (but requires fast toe reflexes).

Can be played with two Switch Joycon controllers, two controller-docked Joycon controllers, handheld-docked Joycon controllers, Switch Pro controller, keyboard + mouse, Gamecube controller, PlayStation 4 Dualshock 4 controller (adapter required to use on Switch), PlayStation 5 DualSense controller (on PlayStation 4), Xbox One controller, Xbox One Bluetooth Controller (adapter required to use on Switch), Wii U Pro Controller (adapter required to use on Switch), and Steam Deck controller. Touchscreen functionality is available by playing remotely with a smartphone or tablet (through Steam, PlayStation 4, Xbox One). No voice control functionality.

The original version of the game can be played with the Xbox 360 controller and PlayStation 3 Dualshock 3 controller.

To read more about how you can pair different controllers with the Nintendo Switch and with PC, check out my post on the topic: https://medium.com/@AbleGaming/how-to-use-your-favorite-console-controllers-on-nintendo-switch-and-pc-and-how-to-use-your-switch-64d7a7bc7b7f

Overall accessibility score: 2.7/5.0 (Please note that this score does not reflect the entertainment or enjoyment value of the game, it represents the range of accessibility for gamers who have specific limitations.)

Dark Souls took the gaming world by storm when it first released in 2011, and then again in 2018 when the Remastered version was released for modern consoles. With the tagline “Prepare to Die”, it’s fair to say that playing Dark Souls is a trial-and-error type of experience, and that many deaths will surely happen. The extreme level of difficulty is by far the greatest accessibility concern here, and for many years fans have been asking FromSoftware to add difficulty settings or an easy mode to their games, and the response has repeatedly been “no,” claiming that the main creative point of their games is to create a challenge to rise above. On one hand, the old-school gamer in me applauds this approach requiring practice and determination to fully master the game, yet on the other hand… the difficulty level is a serious barrier blocking many people from playing and enjoying the world of Dark Souls, and it really would be nice to see the option available.

The world of Dark Souls is enigmatic to say the least, bordering on intentionally vague. The story is a patchwork fantasy, and figuring out where to go next is not always clear and often requires exploration and backtracking; there is no map, waypoint, or guide arrow to rely on. Several aspects of Dark Souls are not readily explained when creating a character and starting a game, such as which starter class and which stats you’ll want to focus on leveling up to maximize a melee, magic, miracle, pyromancy, or mixed character build. Relying on a strategy guide and/or walkthrough videos is almost a must, as it’s easy to get lost and some weapons and bosses aren’t very easy to find. Multiplayer is not the simplest game mode to get started, and requires the use of in-game items that aren’t available to you at the start of the game, and no players in a cooperative party can have already beaten a boss before playing it online.

Fully remappable controls make customizing your playstyle a breeze, and it’s great that there are several different consoles and controllers to choose from. Motion-sickness is primarily a concern if you turn the camera sensitivity settings up to a high level, but isn’t an issue at a slow camera speed, and barely an issue at medium speed. As with all of the Souls games, Dark Souls has lightning weapons and spells, and these are very intense lighting effects for anyone with medium-high photosensitivity; thankfully you don’t have to use any of these, and there aren’t many enemies that use them. Don’t worry, there are plenty of other types of powerful weapons and magic to choose from. Text size is small-medium and the font size can’t be increased, but it is high-contrast at least. There is no voice acting, and very few subtitles; FromSoftware and Dark Souls eschew exposition for exploration in this violent role-playing adventure.

My review can also be read and listened to (text-to-speech) on my Medium page at: https://medium.com/@AbleGaming/dark-souls-remastered-accessibility-review-9e9eacf048a6

#video games #gaming #accessibility in gaming #accessibility #disability #disabilities #photosensitivity #dark souls

[ribcageteeth]

please tell us more about your tower maiden dnd game

Ooh ok!

So, the tower maiden in question is actually a player character, the lovely and terrible G.100, by @aceofvase.

My campaign was actually inspired by movies like The Monster Squad and Van Helsing, so our main cast of NPCs are all based on Universal monsters. The original plan was to have a Frankenstein monster NPC who would occasionally aid the party, BUT, Miss Vase beat me to the punch.

G.100 is soul-stitched, a homebrew race similar to a flesh golem, but overall more capable and intelligent. Created by blending necromancy with engineering, powered by electricity, and requiring the individual parts of about ten different people, in this story the soul-stitched were brought about by an elven man called Isla Gryffith, primarily through his own efforts at achieving some form of immortality, but eventually with the intention of creating the perfect lover. G.100 is, somewhat obviously, his hundredth attempt, and one of only about three or four to be considered a success.

Due to the taboo nature of his work, (and, you know, all the murder involved) Isla primarily lived and operated out of a fortified lighthouse, in an area known for dangerous bandit raids, where people often disappear anyway. He and G.100 lived there in isolation for about a year, with her being kept in the dark over how exactly she was created. Upon discovering the horrible truth (again, cannot stress the amount of murder involved in this process), G.100 threw Isla from the top of the lighthouse tower, in a fit of rage. However, as previously mentioned, the building had been heavily fortified, including several locks on the front door, which could only be opened by key. There was only one, and Isla had it on his person when he was killed.

As such, G.100 spent the next 15 years of her life stuck inside the lighthouse. Functionally immortal, and without the need to eat or sleep, she spent her time reading books, studying magic, and overall trying not to think too hard about the nature of her existence, or her creator, whom she was still regretfully in love with. At a point it became a conscious choice to stay there; she could have broken the door down, or escaped out a window, or even jumped from the tower and aimed for the ocean, but spiritually, she would always be trapped in that tower anyway. Her refusal to move on went so far that she has still never given herself a proper name, preferring not to be referred to at all.

Eventually, she ran out of electrical charge, which resulted in her essentially falling asleep... for a little over a hundred years. Long enough for the lighthouse to collapse around her. Now exposed to the open air, she was promptly struck by lightning and reawakened, only to realize that there was now quite literally nothing left to keep her there. When she meets up with the rest of the party at the campaign's start, she's technically only been outside for about a year.

As the game has progressed, she's somehow managed to both open up, and close herself off further. Initially, she attempted to put on an upbeat persona, going so far as to pretend to be a bard for the first part of the game, but since growing a bit more comfortable with her surroundings, her more grumpy nature has begun to show through, and her abilities as a warlock have grown powerful enough that she can't really hide them anymore. She's also begun romancing one of the series antagonists, which has drawn her a bit further out of her shell.

So yeah, it's a real specific kind of tower, and technically while she was in it she presented as masc, since canonically she is trans, but all that really means is she didn't start leaning into the Tower Maiden aesthetic until fairly recently. In fact, I think her most recent redesign really reflects that particular vibe:

So yeah! That's just one of the wonderful players I've been getting to DM for, I think she's so cool, I've done literally so much fanart of her (as you can see), and I'm so excited to see her character arc continue to progress! If you want to know more about her, I suggest taking a look through her character tag over on @aceofvase's blog, or asking her for further detail <3

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thanks for asking I had a lot of fun writing this! I love this game and its characters i could talk about them forever lol #lore #art tag

[scover-va]

Gimme the what ifs, I just played a bit of the hex (on the Bryce part) and I need that awesome what if scenarios in my head

Gladly

Apologies in advance for how fucking long it is, but I have several thoughts on these scenarios

So, this is all under the assumption that almost everything that happens pre-game (so in the memory/flashback bits) still happens, and that Reggie and Jeremiah are just simply not out for revenge. Maybe Reggie used some critical thinking skills or something, I don't know. Only backstory differences would be 1. Lazarus' backstory/flashback (if the flashbacks happened) would be about something else, since The Artifact mission never would've happened. Likely fleshing out his feelings on what happened after SOL failed, and having a similar situation to that one scene from the first trailer. With some calmer/dialogue-heavy bits including Junior and Jay ofc 2. The 'Lionel wants this' incident would not be shown in FPP's chapter due to technically being irrelevant. If this were in the format of the game, it'd just be an easter egg

With that out of the way, here's some other important notes:

Reggie and Jeremiah would never be the murderers or the victims. Jeremiah does whatever Reggie tells him to, and would never act out of his own free-will, despite Reggie's protests otherwise. Reggie, on the other hand, would get the final say in everything, like what happens to the killer. Well, the player has some input in that, but still. Reggie and the player are, essentially, the judges in the case. No one has any real reason to target these two, either.

The murders cannot be prevented. The murder will happen at some point, and all you can do is catch who did it

Like as hinted at in the og trailer, the POVs would jump around out of order. In a game-style format, you could switch around as pleased post-murder, and the flashbacks would be triggered by certain things. What triggers the flashbacks? I don't know, depends on the victim-killer scenario, but likely some sort of reminder for each of the characters

Sado and Irving never show up in present time. They may be mentioned for different reasons, but they'd never be the murderer or victim in these scenarios

Everything Lionel did still happened, and he and Carla still have their issues, but again, they're less important in this au

The what-if scenarios might be connected via game resets. This will be fully figured out if I write a fic, but for now, it is merely a possibility.

Now, for whoever the killer is, what happens to them after being caught is dependent on how the cast feels about the victim and said killer, and also just their overall personalities. Again, Reggie gets the final say in the matter, but the inn patrons do get to argue about what should happen to the killer. But the four outcomes are:

Being reported to the Gameworks: The only reason Irving would show up. The killer would be reported for killing another game character, and considering how hurting an innocent npc leads to a permanent game ban, I can't imagine punishment for killing a playable character would just be a slap on the back, and punishment would be permanent deletion. It's relatively painless, but you get my point. Lazarus, Chandrelle, and FPP are aware of the cruel punishment. Weasel Kid, Rust, and Bryce are not aware of the punishment and assume it leads to imprisonment.

Being executed at the inn: Obviously, this is quite the extreme compared to the other three choices, but sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands to ensure they don't hurt anyone ever again. Chandrelle and Rust are more in favour towards execution. Weasel Kid, FPP, and Lazarus are neutral towards execution. Bryce is more against execution.

Being locked away at the inn: Not entirely sure where someone would be locked up at the inn, given the rooms and stuff, but if the storyline was a genuine murder mystery I'm sure there would conveniently be a place to lock them up. This is definitely more of a neutral punishment, not resulting in anything harmful, but also not being too kind hearted. Weasel Kid, Bryce, and FPP are more in favour towards imprisonment. Rust and Lazarus are more neutral towards imprisonment. Chandrelle is more against imprisonment.

Being kicked out of the inn: The most kind-hearted of the four choices, leading to no punishment for the killer. This one is more likely for if someone kills in self-defence, since most of the patrons are at least somewhat reasonable. Rust and Bryce are more in favour towards banning. Weasel Kid and FPP are more neutral towards banning. Lazarus and Chandrelle are more against banning.

Suicide: Upon being caught, the killer takes fates into their own hands and kills themself. This is not a punishment option, and is purely situation dependent. May occur before or after everyone decides on a punishment.

Impulse kill: One character acts without the input of the others, and executes the murderer by their own hand. This is not a punishment option, and is purely situation dependent. May occur before or after everyone decides on a punishment.

Reggie never decides based on personal opinion. In case of a majorly favoured opinion, he will go with that. In case of a tie, he will choose the more logical choice.

Now then, with all that stuff out of the way, I'm gonna list off the possible victim-killer scenarios! All will be further explored if I write proper fics for each scenario, and punishment choices would be more dependent on what happens in each scenario between the characters, both before and after the murder takes place.

Weasel Kid kills Bryce: Due to his game failing and being abandoned by Lionel due to Lionel signing a contract with Gamefuna. Weasel Kid might choose to take it out on someone who is associated with the Gamefuna contract. He would choose Bryce due to an assumed favouritism, since Bryce was one of Lionel's favourite game characters growing up, and take his anger out on him. Would sneak into Bryce's room and surprise-attack him. He would not use a murder weapon, just simply using his teeth.

Weasel Kid kills Chandrelle: Similar situation as listed above. He would choose Chandrelle due to her being the first known character Lionel created and fleshed out after Weasel Kid, due to other Combat Arena X characters not being present, and Bryce being purchased against his will. Similar to Bryce, he'd sneak up on Chandrelle to get the element of surprise. He would once again use his teeth, but may bring a physical weapon as a back up option due to her ability to use magic.

Bryce would only kill out of self-defence due to holding no grudges and having no motive for murder. Location and weapon are victim dependent.

Chandrelle kills Weasel Kid: Chandrelle has a tendency to react violently if upset, annoyed, or angry, as shown when she kills Moji without a second thought due to him being 'tedious as ever'. Due to their egos clashing and them constantly bickering and angering each other, Chandrelle may eventually take her anger out on Weasel Kid. She would attack Weasel Kid outside or in the basement, so no one can overhear as easily. She would not use a physical weapon, instead only using her magic.

Chandrelle kills Bryce: Due to past experience in Combat Arena X, Chandrelle knows she can overpower Bryce, and he wpuld be an easier option in case of murdering someone. As for a legitimate motive, it might be something Vallamir-related, due to her and Bryce having a positive relation. She would attack Bryce in the kitchen, where she knows he will inevitably go. She would use her magic, but hide Lazarus' sword in her inventory as a backup option, due to the fact that Bryce has dodged her spells with ease before, and the sword is easily available to her and harder for Bryce to block.

Chandrelle kills Rust: Rust, despite his weapons, is practically the most harmless in the cast in her eyes. Why, you may ask? Simple. He's simply not all there. He isn't aware of what's happening around him, everyone thinks he's delusional, everyone either distrusts him or is weirded out by him which would therefore cause him to be alone, and overall, Chandrelle is pretty certain that he would never even realize what's happening until it's too late to stop it. He's an incredibly easy target. She would lure him to a secondary location where no one else is, or possibly find a way into his room. She wouldn't even bother with wasting her mana, simply sneaking up behind him and using her trusty dagger to kill him.

Chandrelle kills FPP: Another easy target, due to FPP being unable to speak. They can't scream or call for help, can't keep someone closeby via a conversation, and has no weapon to defend himself with. Only issue is that Chandrelle can tell FPP does not trust her specifically, but cannot tell why. Location would be dependent on where FPP goes, since Chandrelle can't lure him anywhere. She would use her magic, but have her dagger handy just in case.

Rust would only kill out of self-defence due to holding no grudges and having no motive for murder. Location and weapon are victim dependent.

Lazarus kills Chandrelle: Listing this one first, but in this scenario, he'd want revenge for what she caused him to go through, and due to all the people he had to kill during his time in Vicious Galaxy 2, what's one more? He views what she did as a full betrayal after all, and despite his rpg programming telling him not to hurt her, his emotions get the better of him. He'd lure Chandrelle to a secondary location due to her trusting him, and would shoot her dead, likely execution style.

Lazarus kills Bryce: Following the same revenge plan as above, in this scenario, Bryce finds out about the murder plans, and tries to peacefully confront Lazarus to prevent anyone from dying. However, Lazarus panics and kills Bryce instead, worried that Bryce will report him to someone, causing him to either have to go back to his game, or be deleted by the Gameworks. Bryce would likely bring Lazarus to the kitchen to talk things out, and Lazarus would shoot him dead.

FPP kills Chandrelle: Knowing exactly what she did, FPP plans on almost playing God, mirroring how Lionel is basically the group's God. They know that Chandrelle's actions led to the deaths of lots of others, ruined Lionel's game (which FPP has heard about too many times to be okay with), and it led to Lionel stealing money from his employees and possibly Carla turning Sado into a purely hostile, satanic entity. So, FPP decides to punish her themself for these reasons, using the fact that they're seemingly powerless and innocent to his advantage. He'd try to lure Chandrelle to a second location, but would be able to figure out a way to get her alone no matter what. They'd either use a kitchen knife or one of the weapons locked away behind the kitchen/bar.

Future scenarios might get added if I get more ideas, but for now, those are the scenarios I've got in mind. Obviously, random murders could occur without need for any sort of motive, intention, or reasoning, but. Those are incredibly boring. Other than that, that's what I've got figured out so far! I really enjoy murder mysteries so all these possible scenarios are scratching a certain spot in my brain. Feel free to overanalyze these or come up with alt. scenarios because murder fun when it's fictional

#the hex murder mystery au #scov.txt #the hex #the hex game #might come up with a better au tag another time we'll see #not tagging everyone but everyone at the inn + irving + clown are mentioned #oh and also jay + junior + moji #this post is long as FUCK im very sorry (no im not)

[megacross-ground-zero-rated-r]

MAJOR Trigger Warning for the following:

Suicide, depression, hopelessness, intense guilt and shame, self-hatred / self-pity / self-punishment, invasive thoughts, extreme black-and-white thinking, and some NSFT text.

Most of these things are taking big, complicated emotions and making them bigger, pushing them to the extreme. Sometimes these characters are direct stand-ins for a specific emotion / thought and sometimes they're more metaphorical.

Nick: Typically tells himself what he IS makes him sick and wrong verses Kellogg: Typically tells himself what he DOES makes him sick and wrong. Or what's been done to him.

Nick: He can become good enough to earn the right to exist versus Kellogg: Typically thinks he can't, but he's not gonna kill himself, so he may as well suffer OR No-one needs to earn it, they have it simply by virtue of being born.

Kellogg being jolted out of apathy by the first death and vomiting his guts out in the simulation, spilling a lifetime of rage and grief and wallowing in self-pity, so Sole can see it, understand it, and swear to never be like him. She feels similarly in some areas but the problem is still him: He made the wrong choice too many times. His emotions were just too big. Self-control was never truly an option. How could it be for someone who was hurt so badly?

All these things he's thought of as his death being someone else's silver lining: A no holds barred heart-to-heart and a cautionary tale for Sole. Advice and a secret companion and maybe some orgasms for Nick. A final rousing speech for Father to visit the surface before the illness takes him. A fun time on the surface for Synth Shaun. A night of passion with his Gen Three copy before one of them is put down at random, carrying the other's bitemark, scarring it over.

I usually write him as a doomed figure to riff on the lack of choices. Both him as a character and as an NPC driving the plot "know it has to be this way." He is "fated" to die when he's ambivalent about living, or be forced back to life when he wants to die, or shoved into a new place / time / body / state of being. He wished he'd stop existing, got exactly that, started fearing nothingness when he had to go back, but he had no other choice. He had to leave the Lounger eventually. He'd already let them kill him once. Suicide cannot be undone.

While hiding in Nick's mind he's torn between hating and loving death. He begs to be allowed to stay while he pours over the question: Did he truly want to die? Or did he just want a new life, a break from all this? He feels once he's answered it he'll be ready to take another plunge into the void. See where the fuck he ends up this time.

The fic These Telltale Parts can essentially be boiled all the way down to his free-roaming spirit trying to find something funny to say about death, and therefore, life, slowly coming to realize he does in fact regret suicide by cop. Nick also expresses regret for helping Sole, it was clear to him what was happening, but he can't take it back either. All that's left is the aftermath of the choices made then, the autopsy, the cleanup. The reason Kellogg goes insane this time is he NEEDS a reason why his grim reaper is late and convinces himself the Institute components need to be removed from his corpse so his soul may move to the next step in the process, whatever that may be.

((A big thing Nick’s torn between loving and hating is the idea of becoming human again. His Megacross iteration, at the very least, is extremely jealous of Conrad for popping into R///oger R///abbit's world as a regular old human instead of a humanoid T///oon.))

The narrative and Nick implicitly agreeing with the idea that Kellogg’s mere presence is disgusting and poisonous to others- Not like battery acid, but vinegar, still enough to sting and corrode. It's okay because he knows his place.

Unable to take a physical form, unable to affect the world around him, he exists as a collection of thoughts rather than a person. It's better this way: Obviously he ruins everything he touches. He can never make the right choice. Obviously anyone finding out Nick’s haboring Kellogg's ghost puts them both in danger. The Illness needs to be cut out, and if Nick disagees, says he has it under control- He's learned to live with it, same as many other drawbacks to his fraught mental state / Synthetic form- It's clear The Rot Has Spread Too Far.

Kellogg's argument for why he should be spared is look how small he's made himself to avoid inconveniencing Nick. He didn't even want Nick to find him. He knows he shouldn't still be here. He knows, he knows, he knows he should just disappear. He respects Nick as the master, he only wants the barest hints of his personality to stain Nick.

A little more selfish. A little more quick to anger, a little more honest when he shouldn't be. A little more "spontaneous"... By which he means lustful, indulgent. One of the first manifestations of Kellogg is sharper hunger pangs and a craving for sensations he used to love: The taste of a cigar. The kick of a high-caliber pistol rocking back into his palm. The snug fit of a leather jacket.

Nick doesn't think too much of these things and feeding them doesn't give Kellogg more power over him. Even if it did, Kellogg knows better than to disrupt the natural order. Nobody notices him indulging and puts it together the merc's instincts are bleeding into him. It's vital to remember that the cravings were already inside him, they just changed, got more frequent. ((Again the problem is Kellogg Specifically: It could be argued the text says those cravings are fine when they belong to Nick. Nick is the only one who's soothed and told his hungers are natural / good.))

Kellogg sees all the embarrassing, shameful ways in which Nick is Only Human. Those cravings. Anger. Jealousy. Loneliness. He holds no judgment. Seen too much to be shocked or disgusted.

He gently coaxes Nick to admit he wants more / weirder sex. He's fascinated by how Nick works and feels no shame for it, personally, his care and hesitation breeching the subject are for Nick’s sake. They agree Nick can't have a partner while Kellogg's here... The sooner they get comfortable with open, honest conversation, the less friction there'll be in their shared space. Often it stops at a little reminiscing on the past. Cracking a couple jokes.

Sometimes, when they're feeling especially nostalgic, Kellogg offers the still-fresh memories of a flesh-and-blood body, Nick hops in and takes a joyride through the highlight reel. Sometimes the fantasy they create together is all their own.

Kellogg is the soft, encouraging voice murmuring in his ear, c'mon, Nicki, show me the weird shit. Show me how you tick. He's fine with not feeling the same sparks: Working together is half the fun. He loves making Nick feel good. Relaxed. Safe. "I promise you're safe with me."

Again, Kellogg sees everything inside his head, but Nick is in control of what they do or don't engage with. What they feed. It cannot hurt them or take over them if they look it in the eye and speak it's name, acknowledging it, then moving on.

T///oon!Nick’s downfall is in hating his humanity for its needs and wants. Insisting that he is completely in control of himself, he has to be or Bad Things will happen. It's in refusing to believe that others can understand and sympathize, or getting angry because they relate too much. Enraged, even. Mob Boss Nick made the mistake of fixating on one thing that could Save Him and give him all the answers. Nick's version was killing Winter, Val's was single-handedly saving the entire Wasteland from itself, which then snowballed into other issues.

Kellogg often submits to Nick's point of view if they disagree. He doesn't want to seem too argumentative. In Megacross I decided to dramatize Kellogg's / Conrad's positive feelings and that submission to the point he loses himself. I ballooned the belief that Nick Is Always Right and Just, he is Always Bad, further and further until the only way Conrad thinks he can Be Good And Worthy is through the power of their love.

Since 98% of the time Kellogg is acting either to help Nick or in self defense, what if we flipped the dynamic- Nick not acting like himself like in Possessed!Nick stories- By making T///oon!Nick an active, persistent aggressor against Conrad? Again, we come back to black-and-white, extreme thought patterns: He cannot truly kill the parts of him that are needy, or horny, embarrassing, aching, bleeding, anything he wishes he could be Better Than. It's actively harmful to his well-being to try.

Both of them believe they're acting in self defense, and each is at least partially right, but Conrad snaps out of plotting murder FIRST. NICK is the one to continue taking it too far, his paranoia running wild. It's understandable to be a little freaked out by someone you don't know knowing that much about you. It makes sense he'd be concerned about associating with Conrad, or his public image in general. Same with recoiling from what, for all intents and purposes, looks like a stalker's love confession. But murder is not the appropriate response.

Conrad's struggle will be forming his own opinions, divorcing his perception of himself from Nick as much as possible. Avoiding spirals into hopelessness. No, he is not a lost cause. Yes, he's been hurt, badly, but he's not broken down to ground glass, doomed to be sealed in a jar and locked away forever or cutting into everything he touches.

Both of them need to be able to recognize when their pursuit of personal growth is in danger of going off the rails. Or if it's something else they want to *believe* is good for them. Are they actually thinking about a mistake all the time to avoid it in the future? Or is it self-flagration?

You gotta learn to truly live with being the problem and hurting others sometimes. You have a right to feel / vent but it cannot fall to the one you hurt to support you. Sometimes you really do drive yourself crazy. Everyone is not out to get you and wishing for your death / your reputation being ruined. It feels terrible to be afraid / ashamed of what's in your head for any reason. You have to exist as a full person who makes choices and takes up space / time / oxygen, not just thoughts, not just how you can serve someone else. Refusing to change anything about your life is a passive choice, but it's a choice nonetheless, even if you want to pretend it's a purely neutral non-action. You cannot saddle someone else with being your moral compass.

#suicide #depression #hopelessness #guilt #shame #self hatred #self pity #self punishment #invasive thoughts #black and white thinking #nsft text #angst #murder #paranoia #nick valentine #conrad kellogg #conrad cereal #long post #nick valentine x conrad kellogg

[kleefkruid]

What makes playing Dungeons and Dragons infinitely funnier than video games is that in video games you cannot kill essential npc's (boring) but in D&D, no matter the preparation, sometimes a player will accidentally one-shot an essential npc and the DM has to go outside to scream for a bit.

#sorry no plot armour for you babe #D&D #dungeons and dragons #DnD