anakin my dude.. touching her tears like that?? he's so crazy here, and stover renders it so well, he's so lost in the sauce lol so hopped up on murder, he genuinely thinks he earned her by killing the younglings.. it's so disturbing and upsetting how far he's given in to his selfishness, his greed and his entitlement. his "love" is a monstrous thing, and padmé knows it, but she's so far isolated and dependent on him and desperately in love with him.. you want to save her but you know you can't, you want to kill him, but you know you can't. the tragedy is unfolding and there's no way to stop it. stover pay for my therapy challenge i cannot simply i cannot..
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I saw someone talking about Cale not being innocent with relationships, which i agree with, so wanna also add my personal opinion on this rather interesting matter+a bit on his trauma!
Cale loved reading novels and comics, so he probably read some romance or smut among the way too. As we know, he is a quite curious person, thus i doubt he wouldn't be interested in it at least for a bit.
He also recognizes relationship stuff overall! Like for example in Korean arc with Kim Min Ah and Bae Puh Rum. They weren't a couple yet, however Cale noticed vibes around them so there is also a comment about them looking good together. Even if it was more of a "Ah, they were lovely-dovely since then", it is still a realization.
As a result, if we push back the idea of Cale being aroace, he isn't innocent! Cale knows enough to understand romance, sex, flirting and all that jazz on a basic level.
Here is the thing, right?
When literally anything relared to emotions or relationships, both platonic and romantic, includes HIM in the equations, Cale suddenly becomes a fool.
An obvious, absolutely traumatized and with little to no self-awareness fool.
Cale literally degrades himself and his feelings or emotions on a daily basis, guys, i don't think this depressed man is able to comprehend that people actually just enjoy his sole presence alone.
Again, the problem here not in Cale not realizing/recognizing that kind of stuff (what basically innocence implies), but in Cale not thinking that someone can like him or be into him.
People don't give enough credit to how severe his self-hatred, that was builded for tens of years and supported by hearing others hate him, is.
It absolutely distorted Cale's view of himself.
As Kim Rok Soo? Well, he was always average looking, the scars made him look even worse.
As Cale? Well, he might look better now, but his personality still trash, he is selfish and not emotional overall.
If nothing above works? Well, his self made inner image of a "Bad person" always does!
He wouldn't ever believe that someone can love him romanticly.
Because why? Why him?
He is absolutely disoriented when people show their care for him nowadays. In the novel it plays of as the silly moments of obvious Cale, but if you think about that?
It just Cale honestly not understanding why they care for HIM.
This is not about innocence. Not at all.
It is about a man who cannot love himself and as a result doubting everyone's love for him.
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JACK THE GIANT KILLER
originally this was a kind of personal visual vibe test: I'm still turning some thoughts around about jack in my head (altho I have finished assembling the skeleton of a story and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when I start to press at it) but I really liked how it turned out so I'm posting it as it's own illustration :)
the first post about this idea is over here, but I've fine tuned it down a bit so that the story begins with jack finding the body of a giant while he's out in the woods one day, and the story spirals out of hand before he can stop it.
it's been interesting to read up on jack tales from a literary analysis point of view while I figure this story out!! and through the power of more coffee, I think. I'm close to pinning down an underlying theme I'd really like to bite into. I just need to condense it down to a couple of sentences instead of several paragraphs.
and to close this post out, here's another excerpt from the j.g. ballard's the drowned giant that haunts me!
bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara ⭐ ko-fi
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you know it's bad when i read svsss and tgcf, stories about just two guys falling in love and getting together, and think, "god i wish i were in between them."
gay little domestic cottage core life with binghe and qingqiu? please and thank you. being sandwiched by hua cheng and xie lian, two pretty men who are hundreds of years old? i am blushing, kicking my feet and giggling
and again, it's not even that i would want only one of them. like in both of the relationships, the two love each other too much to the point it'd feel wrong if they were separated! it wouldn't feel complete, so you gotta be with both of them!
but that's the thing; i just?? i feel so incredibly guilty whenever i think about being loved by these mxtx couples??? like it's so stupid but i feel like i'm intruding in on something and it's like, everyone else seems to just want them together only, not wanna be with them. like it's fuckin taboo or whatever
i feel like with any other character from any other media it'd be fine to simp for and write/read x readers of them, but when it comes to these books, it's off limits! no way, what are you, crazy? yes, yes i'm unhinged and desperately want their love and affection simultaneously. i want to be in a happy little poly relationship with these overpowered beautiful men with long hair.
i can't be the only guy or whoever to feel this way?? to wanna be kissed by these characters? sandwiched?? i have two hands for christ sake and they all look so happy together and im just like "lord i wanna be with them so much". someone tell me i'm not alone cmon <\3
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