#THE AMOUNT OF PASSES HELP

[tawaifeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

#zee rambles #this isn't to guilt trip anyone #but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever #and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too?? #we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it #now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people #but that doesn't mean its gone #that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it #honestly i just needed a lil rant #and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it #also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd

[creepypso]

It's been a while since a hyperfixation gripped me this bad- I've been obsessed for a while now and yeah Vox is holding me hostage pff

I had drawn this picture like two months ago and it had been the first (and definitively not last..I'm so sorry) time drawing the boy <33

_ And because I'm seeing way too many people steal art in this fandom: I do not give you my consent to repost my drawings, without asking me first

#Hazbin Hotel #Vox #Vox Hazbin Hotel #creepys art #I saw his design a few years ago and mhm I knew he would steal my heart if I consume any amount of content of him. well guess what happened #Also it hadn't passed me that for some reason I always fall in love with the stalker character. don't know what to think of that #Also also the dude had helped me when I was recovering from an operation and was mentally not doing great. He was a great escape

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

WHAT HAPPENED?!?!!??!!??!!!!?!!

sometimes arrows find their mark! oopsie!

#hes fine i prommy #the arrow didnt hit anything important and even if it did poppy's got em #and so does barnaby <3 #tbh im having a fun time envisioning them having to pull the arrow out first lol #good thing barnaby's a strong fella! #its kinda comedic in my head... #cause barnaby is freaking out and poppy is freaking out and howdy is trying to keep a level head #and wallys just standing to the side like 👁️👁️ #and then barnaby cuts himself on the arrowhead and poppy is all 'DISEASES!!!' and freaks out More- #*wally voice* no home you can't eat his soul #*howdy/barnaby/poppy voices* WHAT?! #and everyone else returns to find howdy: passed out. poppy: squawking her head off. #barnaby: holding a gorey arrow & splattered with a comically unrealistic amount of blood #wally: attempting to help by draping wormie over howdy's face #*frank voice* what the FUCK is going on - we left for Ten minutes!!! #anyway- #rambles from the bog #wh fantasy au #puppets get Hurt in this au sorry. but also im not sorry cause its fun!

[measlyscrapofseafood]

early days into rinzler’s repurposing were…difficult 😬

redraw/rework of this

#tron #tronblr #tron legacy #rinzler #my art #ik the longer hair implies a significant amount of time has passed #but it’s just b/c i like rinzler w a mullet #his eyes are fucked because he was fighting his repurposing #and as his repurposing was made more severe the more it fucked him up #so rinz went ‘damn i’m tearing myself apart and it isn’t even helping me at all’ so he stopped fighting #which is why and how his eyes are the way they are during legacy/how i normally draw them #clu when he gives that program mental illness: he’s fineeee

[6-2-aestheticsofhate]

just realized my headcanon that mirage is a person v1 subconciously made up to cope with/process their fear of death makes her really funny. mirage is v1's original oc, do not steal

#context: i have a post that amounts to v1 hit their head passed out and dreamed that there was a girl with the exact same fear of death #they had to idk like cope and process it? by like guiding her through her own fears to help with their own #anyways thats my wacky heres how 2-s is real in some way hc

[thetriggeredhappy]

i dont wanna exaggerate and use terms like "personal responsibility" and "doing the right thing", implying that there's any amount of like, homework that you need to do, any kind of requirement in your day to day life - but i do think that sometimes you gotta do a nice thing for a kid, y'know? don't you remember how nice it was, being a kid, when someone older than you or cooler than you or more talented or capable than you said something or did something that showed that you, like, existed as a non-negative and non-detrimental entity? it's so hard, being a kid. tell them they're doing a good job. encourage them to go be human beings. do nice things for kids. c'mon. it's always worth it

#shut up me #thinking about this as im doing artfight #the amount of kids freaking out because someone actually drew them something #also when i say 'kid' i usually mean someone who's a noteworthy amount younger than me #but also be nice to children and teenagers. it's hard enough out there dude. tell a baby emo you like their style. theyll cry #just like. pass it along. i literally have like saved and printed out an old piece of art someone made for me in like #2014? of some oc i'd made back in the day. nobody had ever like. cared before. it made my year #we really just arent gonna make it unless we help each other and kids need that really bad

[emeraldcreeper]

I’m again thinking about like a rebellious emotional vampire who goes fine I’ll deal with needing to get negative emotions my way, and is just a fantastic therapist with absurd and super flexible hours for vampires to use without having to go oh fuck I have to explain why I’m going to therapy only at night and he whole vampirism thing

like it’d only happen in canon to help nandor out of his perrenial depression funk, like if it comes up ever, it would be very fun and I would once again point like the Leonardo DiCaprio meme and say look! It’s psychology! Occurring! I study that!

#wwdits spoilers #I can fuckin SEE it #the vampire therapist passing a box of tissues eyes glowing blue from the sheer amount of sadness #is it ethical therapy no #I’m just saying most vampires need therapy #and emotional vamps need food and some may feel bad about faking pity #not evie she’s a girlboss I’m just thinking about it again since she came back for one episode to uphold bureaucracy #I nearly wrote the fic but didn’t like 2 years ago or so #so y’all get this now or again as my brain soups around going mmmmm psychology……….. #for hours on end while I do not watch GO season 2 I have seen what occurs and I know my romcom heart cannot take it #regardless of circumstances #I can put therapy into my fiction and media #it would help so many characters and so many arguments get solved #wwdits

[chickensoupleg]

2 random aus since I got in a mood.

Eddie living near a lake that had rumours of mermaids living in there. The lake being huge and deep, so deep that Eddie would joke it's just a mini ocean in his own backyard. He and his uncle Wayne would go fishing there all the time, and so it was a very comforting place. Especially with the mermaid rumours. Eddie even would put the 'mermaid lake' into some of his campaigns, just for fun. Sometimes it was an important feature, where he would encourage his players to visit it, or maybe even have the big bad appear there. Then suddenly the rumours come true, when he's just writing and playing songs by the lake and hears singing coming from it. He would look out to the lake and see eyes staring back at him before disappearing into the deep. Of course, nobody believes him, because sure. The rumours are popular, but it doesn't mean people actually believe anyone would actually see them. Eddie is persistent though and keeps visiting. Even if he doesn't see whatever he saw that day, he gets to be by the lake, which is just added perk. Then he sees the mermaid for real, and turns out mermaids know English. He also learns that mermaids can be dudes, even if it's far more popular for them to be female. His mermaid friend finds it hilarious, because if mermaids were only girls than how would they procreate? Like bacteria? Which, when he puts it like that, does sound kind of stupid. Anyways, he learns the mermaid is named Billy, and that he's not actually from here at all. Which, obviously, sounds insane to Eddie, because where else would he have come from? It's a lake, and as far as Eddie is aware, not connected to the ocean in the slightest. It is a sole standing body of water as far as he's aware. Billy, the prick, laughs at him. Apparently it is connected to other bodies of water, it's just not feasible by human standards. There's a hidden underground tunnel apparently, and Billy just sort of... migrated there. Accidentally. The tunnel is somehow a powerful current, and only works one way. So he's been stuck there for years. There are a handful of other mermaids in the lake, but they don't come up since they can breathe underwater just fine despite appearing human. Ergo, they never interact with humans much either. The only reason Billy even showed up was because he liked the music Eddie was playing. Which launches Eddie into a whole plethora of questions, because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Billy only answers some of them freely, and makes Eddie work to get other answers. They grow close, and since then Eddie makes it his mission to continually visit his new friend. Billy isn't much of a nerd as Eddie is, but they connect with their shared appreciation for the metal genre, even if Eddie has to be the one to supply it. In return, Billy gives him cool shells and rocks he finds. And a crab once. Which was weird, because Eddie didn't know the lake had crabs. They get close, and maybe even a little affectionate. Who knows.

Basically just centaur Harringroveson AU. Steve is a cervitaur, Eddie is a centaur, and Billy is a bariaur. They're just vibing honestly. Maybe Eddie gets the fun time of watching Steve and Billy fight by antler/horns. And then help them because they got stuck to each other. Which happens a lot, because something in their hindbrains wants to just slam their antlers/horns against each other. Dominance, or whatever it is supposed to be. Eddie certainly isn't up for the task. Fun times when Steve casually shed his antlers. Or shed his velvet, where Eddie has to go hide because it is a gory sight. He finds it metal, but also his stomach can only take so much. Billy finds it equally as gross, but his stomach is much stronger for this. Eddie is probably like... a black thoroughbred horse. Or a mustang. Just... a runner of a guy. Steve is either a common white-tailed deer or a red deer. Just for the idea of the red deer being huge and the whole King Steve kind of idea. Billy is a rambouillet ram or a rocky mountain bighorn. Just... stocky but also has a sort of glamour to him. Of course just to make it fair everyone gets the fun perk of being centaur hybrid things. Maybe El can be a unicorn centaur, as a psychic treat. (Oh my gosh unicorn Vecna.... Dark crispy unicorn Vecna.... Flesh monster...) Also I don't think cars exist in this universe, because it would be very awkward trying to fit in one, unless they were very specifically built and long to accommodate the rest of them. Oh they'd be so long. So either it is long cars, or everyone walks everywhere. Alternatively, wagons for passengers. Just for extra fun (mostly just for me) Robin is also a cervitaur, and she jokes that she stole Steve's antlers when hers come in when Steve's falls off. She'd be a reindeer, which is why it works. It also means they can put trinkets on their antlers year round. When Steve's falls off they go right on Robin's. Fun fact, sheeps can swim. Billy is not banned from his water. However, sheep can also sink because wool is a thing. Billy has to shave. Extra treat: Demotaurs. Why not.

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #steve harrington #robin buckley #eddie munson #billy hargrove #platonic with a capital p #harringroveson #mungrove #eddie parades around with steve's old antlers for fun #eddie's internet history: is it weird to hang up my boyfriends antlers on the wall like a prize #sad idea: billy was polled as a kid because his dad decided he didn't need them (and therefore couldn't protect himself) #this version he gets to keep them because it makes him 'manly' which billy's fine with #eddie feeds billy fish scraps every time he fishes because hey why not #one year there was a fishing competition in the lake and billy helped eddie cheat #he would swim around and catch a decent sized fish and after a reasonable amount of time passed he'd hook the fish and tug on the line #once jason thought he saw eddie mingling with a strange man in the lake and tried to say eddie was fraternizing with the devil #which frankly was weird because what if that was just a regular man jason #jason is just generally off-put by eddie in general though especially with his music taste #eddie introduces chrissy to billy and they hit it off immediately #and then billy introduces her to heather (fellow mermaid) and now they're all besties #centaurs come in all shapes and forms like cats/rhinos/dogs/cows/goats/etc. they got four legs? use them #a guy can be a frog centaur... as a treat #the possibilities are endless #weird thought: if billy produces wool does that mean people can use it #because theoretically its usable like any sheep wool would be #so does that mean people can... make yarn out of billy #steve has a pillow stuffed with billy's wool and its a comfort object when he's away #max being another horned/antlered centaur and she and billy literally butt heads #eddie teasingly calls billy 'billy goat' even though he's not a goat

[indigoire]

I admit am curious about the Pentiment but do i have to be some sort of strategist to play it or actually be detective smart?

Oh my god no. No, seriously trust me, if I'm ever really into a game just assume anyone can play it. I love games but I am so bad at them.

Please do not worry about accusing the wrong people of murder. As far as I can tell from two complete playthroughs, as long as you have enough conclusive evidence you can accuse damn near anyone with a motive. It does not equal a game over to accuse the "wrong" guy, and history will vindicate you.

The point of Pentiment is that whoever you accuse, you take out of the story. This affects the story in huge ways. Just from comparing my two playthroughs I can see vast differences. Someone dying can even affect the personality of their descendants. I'm trying really hard not to spoil here, please just take my word for it.

BASICALLY just be careful that whoever you accuse is someone who you're comfortable with getting removed from the narrative. Every death has a consequence.

#Pentiment #also an important note: talk to EVERYONE. go everywhere. #unless an NPC tells you that an action will take a long amount of time don't worry about time passing #you will not get a chance to do everything your first playthrough but you will get a chance to talk to everyone. just prioritize #hope this helps!! #mad-phlegmatic

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

delighted to report that my ungovernable ADHD-ass brain (which was supPOSED to be cooking up exciting extraction scene vibes for the accidental!Novella i'm currently drafting) has instead presented me with a Chronology Solution for the manuscript i put on pause in, uh. september. oops?

#text #personal #writing #in btw #driscoll #aw #jorge #on the one hand this is great i love this i think it might Fix Me #on the other hand: gotdamn where did you COME from 🤣🤣 #something something You Can't Rush Space 💀 #i get these rubber band snapback effects sometimes when i step away from a project for long enough #if enough time passes im presented with Related Helpful Ideas 💀 #i do still need to write a hotel scene about it #im trying to figure out which vibes this changes #and how conversations play out differently #maybe its because i have work but its boring work today?? at capitalism i mean #the Right Amount Of Boredom

[icewindandboringhorror]

... how am I meant to get any sort of restful sleep when it's like 85F indoors in my bedroom at NIGHT .. hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#why the next poll adventure and everything else has taken so long lol.. I straight up have just not done anything #the past few days... staring down my todo list and sweating hopelessly #AT LEAST it;s relatively low humidity. the highest it's been up to is maybe 65%. but is usually around 50 or 40ish #There is one small window air conditioner in a roomate's room that can KIND OF be shared by nailing a sheet up to block off the hallway #with the rooms in it so the cool air goes into the other bedrooms but doesnt flow out into the kitchen or etc but #wjhen it's the time of day that the sun is directly hitting the window & it's like 102F outside even that doesnt help much. to cool 3 rooms #and I always feel like we're going to explode the air conditioner or something running it too much with direct heat on it. sometimes it #smells like hot plastic or whatever ghj.. so it's mostly just.. block off all windows with 5 layers of blankets and cardboard #starting at 10am (meaning.. no indoor light for days basically.. no natural lighting.. time passes weird. hard to determine time of day). #throw water on the bed every night so you sleep in wet sheets and keep your clothes and hair wet at all times. ice. cold drinks. keep a #little fan running pointed directly at you nearly 24/7 even when sleeping with a fan blowing air on you makes your eyes and throat painfull #dry. etc. etc.. and i KNOW people have it worse in plenty of places blah blah. i am just complaining on my little blog that is about me lol #I think the biggest thing about lack of adequate/central air conditioning for me is just the LACK of productivity!!! I am working on games! #and novels!! and so many other crafts. costumes! sculptures!!! things I want to do!!! we all have a limited amount of time on this planet a #nd I have so many goals!! To lose basically 4-5 days straight or producivity - when if I had been able to temperature #control my environment better I could have easily gotten more done because I wouldn't be laying around nuseous and too hot #and sick to do anything all day etc. -- is like.... GRRRRRR... it just feels so senseless.. i could have USEd that time... #Every CEO who has contributed to global warming owes me 1million doallrs to fund my art projects and make up for all the time #I've lost on them due to their stupid bullshit.. also they should be stoned to death in a public square. but redistribute the money FIRST #to everyone on the planet. but especially people who have been affected by floods. fires. etc. etc. #poor people who have limited choice in housing and access to air conditioning. homeless people in cooling centers. people with disabillitie #and health issues that are worse in the heat so the entire future just seems increasingly terrifying for them. etc. etc. #ANYWAY.... eughhhgh.... It can cool down SLIGHTLY at night but the past few nights I have been sleeping in an 81 degree room and I wake up #and first thing in the morning its like 82 by then and I'm so nauseous and nasty feeling... just so so tired of it.. I NEED SNOW #literally not even joking.. snow would heal me. .. oughffff... #AND i got the new nasty stinky poo poo pee pee tumblr dashboard update lol.. e v i l

[iiguess]

OOC. Oh, the idea of Sam being an assistant conductor on a dream-traversing train that passes through magical worlds...

Like this one—-

#;; ᴀᴍᴏɴɢ ᴜs ( ooc. ) #;; ᴀɴ ᴀᴛᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ( mun art. ) #I made this before for school bUT YEAH #how cool would it be if there was a train that passes by in dreams and helps you get where you wanna go #and the amount of time you spend on it depends on how long you sleep #so someone who's only slept an hour will stay on for an hour #while someone who's in a coma stays for a longer period of time #like maybe the train's purpose is to always make sure someone's conscious always returns to their body?

[hofftrans]

One of the ongoing autistic experiences I have in my life is the whole "this is what my life is like, so I assume this is what everyone's life is like and it's just the human condition" and then not evidence checking that for far too long. Like obvs not something I let myself do re political and human rights issues like I understand there that my privellage plays a huge role in my view of life.

But it's more like the personal stuff or childhood stuff. Like a light-hearted example was me telling my mate recently about how I wished I could lucid dream and then after I explained my dreams to her she just delivered the "oh my sweet angel that is 100% lucid dreaming" and it turns out I thought everyone just has like a large control over their dreams (I had thought lucid dreaming meant absolute control)

Less light-hearted is my experiences with death and losing loved ones. Bc I assumed everyone by like 30 must have already had almost double digits of loved ones dying but I was chatting to a group of mates recently and was so surprised to hear how many had never lost a human loved one and had only lost pets (not to diminish that huge amount of grief, I had just expected people has lost human loved ones too)

Again this isn't like grief competitiveness or anything it's more just that I keep constantly assuming that my life has been v average with a few outlier moments bc my autistic ass just goes "well idk how anything 'should' be like or feel so this must just be the human experience that everyone has" and I need to remind myself that the amount of grief I carry is unique and something I need to treat with care and empathy and support towards myself for

#just thinking about this again bc my vivanse has been helping me actually feel my emotions in real time #and ive been feeling a huge amount of grief recently for my friend that passed away last year #and all the loved ones i lost before her #the only time i go back to my highschool is for wakes now. im only 28. im tired

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Yeah so that was fucking awful

#cookie speaks #I love when I spend almost every waking moment studying for a test #get super confident #and then fail anyway : ) #it’s so awesome when no matter how much effort I put in #it’s pointless #doesn’t fucking matter #feels really fucking awesome to know that nothing I do matters #and when I ask for help everyone tells me to do the things I’m already doing #so it’s LITERALLY nothing I can do #I feel worthless #this isn’t even the speciality I want to go into #I know it doesn’t matter in the end as long as I pass the class #but right now that feels fucking impossible #I should study #but I just want to go lay in bed and stop existing #I’ve just been in an on/off breakdown for the last 2 hours #can’t stop crying #feeling absolutely humiliated by the sheer amount of witnesses #it’s awesome #and no one takes me seriously when I ask for help because I always look like I have it together right? #but I don’t #I really don’t #I’m barely hanging on #and I’m really struggling to find a reason to keep going

[waywardsalt]

also do u think Linebeck is originally from the World of the Ocean King or from the Great Sea?

I think he's from the Great Sea. This is mainly just because in-game there isn't a whole lot of evidence to the contrary? (There isn't much evidence that he's from the great sea either but there's more for that than the other thing and I'll take what I can get)

I'll just go ahead and list out my fairly simple reasons why I think this just to streamline this away from being a block of text.

1: In the loz encyclopedia, on page 39, the text associated with the little picture of linebeck (its the one labeled '3') says 'captain linebeck, one of the people lured into the world of the ocean king' and i do not care if that's a mistranslation or whatever but i am taking it and RUNNING WITH IT.

2: unlike in the manga he never wishes to go to link's world, but i imagine he didn't know for sure that he and link were from the same world, but he ends up there anyways good for him

3: when oshus initially introduces that link and tetra (and linebeck) are from a different world he says that the ghost ship will not longer haunt 'your' world, not specifying just link and tetra but possibly also including linebeck in that statement. when everyone talks about the door to the other world opening and all of that shit they never specify that it's just link and tetra's world, they just call it 'your world' and whatever, and when neri talks about being a part of oshus's world, she never explicitly includes linebeck in that grouping, and i would assume that she would know if he's a part of the same world as her or not. she also thanks both link AND linebeck, further suggesting that he's automatically going to be leaving with link. plus, the way the spirits talk to him and say goodbye very heavily imply that he's from the same world as link and will automatically be leaving with him. also i imagine that he shows up out of nowhere with his ship afterwards is possibly because he got lured in through a different method than link and tetra, possibly causing his ship to get dragged in with him, most likely in a way that he didn't actually fully notice.

4: if he's not originally from the great sea why send him there if he doesn't ask to??? you can argue why he'd be tossed out with them but just based on wording in the game and stuff it makes a lot more sense if he was also from the same world as link and co. just got dragged in a different way, at a different point in time. i have a convoluted headcanon all about him getting dragged in and for how long and how and all of that but i'll leave that in the tags.

5: i like him being from the great sea more bc it works for my purposes also i just like it better. that simple.

#asks #anon #loz #legend of zelda #phantom hourglass #linebeck #idk it just makes more sense to me for him to be from the great sea too #anyways long fucking headcanon incoming #BASICALLY i think he's been in the world of the ocean king for seven years #he got dragged in by accident. pre ghost ship my idea is that it was soon after shit with bellum went bad so it was kinda #like a bermuda triangle situation where he just was at the wrong place and kinda. fell into the world of the ocean king #that part is not clear for me yet but thats the idea it was an accident and he effectively entirely physically got dragged in #i think link and tetra were also physically dragged in but im not going into the differences #however i do believe that his time in the world of the ocean king is equal to the amount of time he was missing #he was in the world of the ocean king for seven years and during that time seven years passed in the great sea #i imagine oshus has a degree of power over deciding how long someone has been in his domain #link and tetra only got 10 minutes bc they were pulled in by the ghost ship and really couldn't afford to be gone for too long #linebeck gets his seven years because of the differences in how he entered the world and bc tetra and link showing up #lined up really well plus some weird time dilatation shit and also as an extra thanks to linebeck for helping out #this is mostly because the mans been through enough i think he deserves to have had a normal amount of time pass #he gets to leave and interact with the people he used to know normally. seven years passed for them too #plus it makes me feel better. #also the seven years thing IS a hero of time parallel but it was fucking unintentional i swear #i picked seven years because of a number of related headcanons #but now that i have this accidental parallel i will be taking advantage of it for post ph stuff

[savetheghost]

would love to explain how caffeine works not by supplying energy but by depriving your cells of the capacity to FEEL tired. would also love to explain how caffeine evolutionarily came about as a heart exploding pesticide. as a whole I spend most of my passing glimpses into your life in genuine fascination. damn bitch you live like this but appraisingly.

erryone wants to study me like a bug

but yeah nah the only way to gain energy is to rest and im incapable of turning off

i dont usually actually drink that much caffeine unless im being forced to like

work in less than ideal circumstances (overtime, while sick, etc)

cause i AM trying to work on my sleep hygiene but im a severe insomniac with 0 circadian rhythm and all i want to do all the time is sleep

i just straight up cant, and when i do its for maybe two hours at a time

so being able to not feel tired is fine even if i secretly am so so so so so fucking tired

#you should see what color my eyelids are #actually the best sleep ive ever gotten is when ive gotten covid shots #my body has no clue what to even do with that so i just pass the fuck out #god id love to sleep #cant do sleep meds cause its way too risky with diabetes #plus sleep meds are only really a temporary solution to help with the sleep hygiene #currently me and my therapist are working on making me associate my bed with only sleep #so instead of lying awake in my bed i try for 20-ish minutes to sleep and if it doesnt work i get up again and do something low energy #like reading a boring book or something that doesnt have a backlight or need excess amounts of thinking #plus using like chamomile tea and stuff #i havent noticed a difference but like im not expecting immediate improvement or nothin