#cant do sleep meds cause its way too risky with diabetes

[savetheghost]

would love to explain how caffeine works not by supplying energy but by depriving your cells of the capacity to FEEL tired. would also love to explain how caffeine evolutionarily came about as a heart exploding pesticide. as a whole I spend most of my passing glimpses into your life in genuine fascination. damn bitch you live like this but appraisingly.

erryone wants to study me like a bug

but yeah nah the only way to gain energy is to rest and im incapable of turning off

i dont usually actually drink that much caffeine unless im being forced to like

work in less than ideal circumstances (overtime, while sick, etc)

cause i AM trying to work on my sleep hygiene but im a severe insomniac with 0 circadian rhythm and all i want to do all the time is sleep

i just straight up cant, and when i do its for maybe two hours at a time

so being able to not feel tired is fine even if i secretly am so so so so so fucking tired

#you should see what color my eyelids are #actually the best sleep ive ever gotten is when ive gotten covid shots #my body has no clue what to even do with that so i just pass the fuck out #god id love to sleep #cant do sleep meds cause its way too risky with diabetes #plus sleep meds are only really a temporary solution to help with the sleep hygiene #currently me and my therapist are working on making me associate my bed with only sleep #so instead of lying awake in my bed i try for 20-ish minutes to sleep and if it doesnt work i get up again and do something low energy #like reading a boring book or something that doesnt have a backlight or need excess amounts of thinking #plus using like chamomile tea and stuff #i havent noticed a difference but like im not expecting immediate improvement or nothin