#god id love to sleep

[savetheghost]

would love to explain how caffeine works not by supplying energy but by depriving your cells of the capacity to FEEL tired. would also love to explain how caffeine evolutionarily came about as a heart exploding pesticide. as a whole I spend most of my passing glimpses into your life in genuine fascination. damn bitch you live like this but appraisingly.

erryone wants to study me like a bug

but yeah nah the only way to gain energy is to rest and im incapable of turning off

i dont usually actually drink that much caffeine unless im being forced to like

work in less than ideal circumstances (overtime, while sick, etc)

cause i AM trying to work on my sleep hygiene but im a severe insomniac with 0 circadian rhythm and all i want to do all the time is sleep

i just straight up cant, and when i do its for maybe two hours at a time

so being able to not feel tired is fine even if i secretly am so so so so so fucking tired

#you should see what color my eyelids are #actually the best sleep ive ever gotten is when ive gotten covid shots #my body has no clue what to even do with that so i just pass the fuck out #god id love to sleep #cant do sleep meds cause its way too risky with diabetes #plus sleep meds are only really a temporary solution to help with the sleep hygiene #currently me and my therapist are working on making me associate my bed with only sleep #so instead of lying awake in my bed i try for 20-ish minutes to sleep and if it doesnt work i get up again and do something low energy #like reading a boring book or something that doesnt have a backlight or need excess amounts of thinking #plus using like chamomile tea and stuff #i havent noticed a difference but like im not expecting immediate improvement or nothin

[attyattlaw]

Hi! I have a question about the band au: do you have any thoughts about Law’s backstory in relation to Doflamingo’s band and ending up with Cora? Hope you have a nice day!

(this has been in my inbox for like a week now dsjfhk apologies) anyway yeah i have some, though im more of a crumb leaver in terms of story telling so if anything, this is like, a view of events from an outsider's perspective.

ive mentioned before that law was a PR stunt for doffy, as in poor little orphan boy with a supposed terminal illness and a penchant for rock music gets the charity of the magnanimous rockstar doflamingo, who's totally recovered from a scandalous bender of sorts. took him as a protege, paraded him around his tours with Donquixotes.

then some time later its announced that their bassist, corazon, is leaving the band and has been absent from the limelight ever since. their charity case boy, like most insignificant footnotes in celebrity news, just kinda disappeared from the tabloids too. doffy and the Donquixotes are still legends in the rocks scene and the man never changed. the end

#that band au #donquixote doflamingo #donquixote corazon #donquixote rosinante #trafalgar law #sir crocodile #i could fill in the blanks with as much melodrama as i want but thats between me. god. and the half hour i spend on bed before i sleep #anyway yeah id love to hear it if you have other blank fillers actually #btw happy birthday mr croc

[quinn-pop]

sorry for the metadede flood lately um. anyway i think dedede officiates waddle weddings. if they even have them lol. it’d be funny and cute

#reason for the flood: thinking abt one idea means i get 50 more #one of these were drawn with the old pen! and my god it shows #one is also two sketches fused together (which ive had to do a lot lately) and…okay actually it’s still easy to tell but not bc of that #i am mad with power #meta knight #king dedede #kirbyposting #my art or something #i think my art ideas are probably very weird lol #but you know me i love a good shenanigan #if it’s any condolence i swear ive been working on less self indulgent stuff too lol #not…NOT self indulgent because it’s me and i like having fun #it’s my blog i do what i want or something #im juggling like 7-9 projects right now (and most of the time) so my progress on each is very random #i thrive off of goofiness #but yes that is why i do this stuff. and then the Big Serious Projects never get finished #half kidding. i have a lot of stuff at abt 80% rn #metadede #because i forgot if i need to tag when it’s already in the post lol #id probably save this for a few weeks out but i dont have anything else done and yeah im procrastinating on sleeping #wow i really do write an essay in every tag

[n00dleb0yy]

3am bpd witchcraft episodes kinda go hard

#currently bumping my current existential crisis playlist if anyones interested ill drop the link😌 #lost all my friends #my housing #and over half my shit in a matter of a month (and maybe like a half) #psa to my bpd besties #NEVER date another borderline for the love of god #youd think id learn by now smfh #just bpd things #sleep token #bad omens #placebo #depeche mode #the smiths #mars volta #the cure #playlist #actually bpd #borderline thoughts #witchblr #witchcraft #not me doing spells to make /him/ come back oops #i literally said i was absolutely done with dating but.......👀 #LISTEN he wasnt intentionally bad to me i fp'd him so fucking hard i couldnt see that we were literally just fwbs #and thats on mental illness babey #but /him/👀 #him sir thats my husband #i am absolutely losing my mind

[mudstoneabyss]

god something about Kevin using his position as "the Smiling God's beloved chosen prophet" to keep himself in control and therefore keep others from controlling him only for Lauren to gain a position over him and tell him that the Smiling God does not favor him the way he believed AND mock his belief in his own free will

#this episode was insane im trying to sleep but cant #joyousposting #wtnv #wtnv spoilers #this is so Lauren's right i love this for her #but also i am going damn! poor Kevin huh #he kind of did have this coming #but also if my girl worstie started being able to talk to god and told me god hated me id have to kill myself

[capricorndevil15]

Hey party people! ORLAM PLAYLIST BE UPON YE!!1 🥩🍷

I've been trying to upload this playlist all day, and even now I am pretty sure it won't be long for this world. TwT So get in a listen while you still can. If all else fails, I did also make a normal youtube playlist without the visual component (but I really wanted to show off my Orlam Collage…)

THERE ARE FLASHING LIGHTS/FLICKER IN THIS VIDEO! There's some randomized flicker effects throughout, but the big fast flashing one happens from 43:52 - 44:05 at the end of Hurt. If that would be bad for you, I recommend listening to the non-visual version linked above.

It may go without saying, but none of the art in this playlist is mine! All the images were ripped from Our Wonderland directly or found on Carrot's tumblr, and I just made it into a collage and did fancy editing for fun.

Tracklist under the cut

♛✧༺♥༻∞ Tracklist ∞༺♥༻✧♛

0:00 - 2:08 EATYOU!- Talkshow Boy 2:09 - 5:30 Blood- Billy Cobb 5:31 - 6:57 M'Lady- Dorian Electra 6:58 - 9:25 Prom- MSI 9:25 - 12:07 F***- MSI 12:08 - 15:12 In My Mouth- Black Dresses 15:12 - 18:15 What Do They Know?- MSI 18:16 - 21:05 Bunny Party- Schnuffel (nightcore) 21:06 - 24:19 fReAkY 4 Life- Dorian Electra 24:20 - 26:41 "Call This # Now"- The Garden 26:42 - 28:06 I Got A Melody- Talkshow Boy 28:07 - 30:26 Dancing Queen- Billy Cobb (a banger cover, original song is by ABBA) 30:26 - 33:36 Cake- Melanie Martinez 33:36 - 36:44 Never Wanted To Dance- MSI 36:45 - 39:42 My Blood Is Fucking Up The Dancefloor- Talkshow Boy 39:43 - 44:04 Hurt- Nine Inch Nails 44:05 - 47:18 I Just Wasn't Made For These Times- The Beach Boys 47:18 - 52:59 Linger- The Cranberries (daycore) 53:00 - 54:54 Memoir #2- May Roosevelt

56:00 - 57:19 Blood- MCR (lol)

#our wonderland #orlam brewbacher #our wonderland orlam #if this video survives to tomorrow I will add timestamps to the video itself but rn I am so tired lol. please just take this away from me. #character playlist #GOD DAMN I MISS 8TRACKS #WOULD YOU BELIEVE the song giving me the most grief from yt content ID was fucking BUNNY PARTY NIGHTCORE #WAAUUGH. AAAUUGH. I LOVE ORLAM. I'M GONNA GO TO SLEEP NOW. #Youtube

[caffeiiine]

one more thing thats been rotating around my head:

my school anime club hosts an anime con in the spring and i am genuinely so excited bc club members are staff amnd we are hsoting it! and i can host a panel!!!

#itd be my first anime con] #and also why part of the reason im trying to homemake a cosplay so i can have a cool one to wear #so many panel ideas are running around my head #i wanna make it bsd themed but im unsure how popular that would be #so i was thinking since im planning to go in dead apple fyodor cosplay #fyodor has that one line i really love “welcome to happy group counseling hour!! Im your host-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky” #and it sounds like hes introducing a game show (im not gonna force the panel goers into a counseling hour sobs dwdw) #SO my idea was anime themed game show w/ good prizes corresponding to the animes i picked the questions from #like itd INCLUDE bsd but it wouldnt be only about bsd is what im saying #therefor making it more appealing to the general con goers!!! #god its in may and im beginning to prepare for it now help me #of course i have a fuck ton of time to prepare but ive always liked to have my details in check long before the actual thing happens #i feel sorry for you and am deeply thankful if you read through my mess of thoughts #ily! /p :D #actually goodnight now its like 1:30am and id prefer to sleep earlier than i did last night <3 #sodaramblestoomuch

[bahoreal]

i want to make my stand for aro/arospec ted. i truly believe the creators and writers did not intend for this (possibly because they didnt know its a thing lol) but:

doesnt date for three years in richmond, is completely happy and satisfied with his platonic friendships and his fatherhood

sleeps with sassy multiple times before asking her out (needs some kind of connection to someone before he can think about a romantic entanglement)

wasnt actually offended or upset about sassy saying no, was more upset about her calling him a mess

canonically is not good at romance and michelle felt overwhelmed by him (doesnt know what people actually like in romance just goes overboard with romantic gestures. this isnt common to all aros but i know i get this lol)

i think we should think a little deeper about arospec ted who mistakes intense platonic feelings for romantic feelings

#im just throwing things out there. thinking thoughts. give me arospec ted feeling romantic feelings for the first time in a long time #and being viscerally uncomfortable with them lol #demiromantic?? #im also very sleep deprived please be nice i dont know if this makes sense #real tho. im making ted demi in my fic but thats mostly by accident and im not really gonna call it out #id love to see a fic with that as the focus but I'm unlikely to write it lol #TEDTRENT. god my mind is broken i added more tags to say id love a tedtrent fic where ted experiences Romance #third edit and i remembered to put names in. im so tired guys #.jtxt

[zoppzoop]

GAAHAHHHHH

#venting in the tags #maybe its just past darkness and the Bad Thoughts which i shouldnt listen to are clouding my brain too much #but i feel so fucking weird and inadequate over everything rn #im unable to work on drawings as i usually would have and its kinda plaguing everything which it should like yeah i love drawing but #i cant let just one aspect of me ruin everything. right? the fact that i havent been able to draw as well as i usually can should make me #feel sick to the stomach and unsure about everything i do but it happening and i hate it. #plus i got the ipad id saved up from the comms to buy and its fun and nice and all and maybe i just need more practice with it but i feel #like im not able to draw on it even more? and i spent the whole day trying to get used to it but its just not as good?? and then when i went #back to the no screen wacom i couldnt get a hang of it becuase idek its just not happening #and also the fucking art block wants me dead i swear i want to draw so bad and i have so many ideas but the moment i start anything its just #crumbles down into nothingness and i hate everything i do and gods fuck i want to cry but i can because there are people at home and #usually im a big 'crybaby' when im at home but i dont fucjing wanna be like that anymore like i can handly my shit myself im fine. #i dont need to just fuckinf cry abiut it becuase thats not gonna fox anything but also i feel like crying might just make me feel better #but then id have to hear shit from my family and i know theyre just teasing in a /pos way but i dont wanna fucking deal with that #plus my brother iust talking to him os annoying sometimes like he talks about things so condescendingly and fucking hel dude shut #the fuck up i dont need you telling me that my art is something people can 'just do' and the fact that i was able to get the ipad #'basically for free since i got that money from the little drawings i make' as if they dont fucking mean anything to you like #shut the fucking fuck up dude i worked hard on those and even though i dont like my own shit sometimes i still fucking work hard on those #fuck you you bitch #i think a lot of things are just piling up and i need to sleep #tomorrow will be a new dawn and a fresh start and maybe ill hate myself less #ps. note to anyone reading the tags #im fine i just needed to yell out and express my frustration a bit. some sleep will help surely.

[silouvertongues]

gotta get up early for class tomorrow im so sleepy but i suddenly felt the urge to calculate how much money's been spent on my post secondary education till now and i literally feel nauseous

#LIKE.... what the fuck . #and the way my contribution has been minimal how am i ever gonna like . repay my dad for this #also how does he just .....spend so much . he'll always pay for anything school related w/o saying anything weird #like why is this genuinely making me crysjrjfjskwkfj #i KNEWWWW it was a lot but i was just thinking id love to pay him back for it somehow #so i was like lemme pull up all my undergrad invoices and the current stuff too and i did the math and ..... #LIKE I FEEL SICK obv i have Issues w my dad but sometimes i feel so bad for him his dad passed away when he was 15 #so i feel like he jas that Thing for like being super present in his kids' lives #and education is like a Biiiiig thing for him bc he had to work and earn and pay for his own (ig his mom helped as much as she could) #THIS IS MAKING ME SOB IM SO SAD #and the way i cant even fucking find a job to at least earn SOMETHINGGGG i can help with its so stupid #anyway idk Whats going on in my brain rn i should sleep god #like im so grateful but theres so much guilt too ?? #desi culture is insane bc imagine you work your whole entire life and then you have to pay for every one of ur kids' education weddings etc #OK GOOD NIGHT will i delete this is it too . personal . idk #h talks

[perfectlittlevictim]

crossfaded and sleeepy again oh nooooo

#is it edging if i fall asleep while on the verge of orgasm? #idk but it happens to me often #id be like the worst gooner bro if just be sleeping in the goin cave while the guys jerk off #that’s hot fuck #god i’m such a faggot #love being both a dyke and a faggot #dyke in practice fag in theory for now

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

if one more person give me bad news tonight im going to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) eat a bug and jump in The Lake

#whyyyyyyyyy of all fucking days !!!!!!! #my dad be like. heres something you cant physically do anythinf about until monday. #im going to tell you today so you have to sit here and think about it for 3 fucking days. #while you are 1) working the worst shifts of your new job so far 2) on call shifts and not getting any sleep 3) Not At Home #Responsible For Someone Elses Home And Beloved Pets #4) its fucking storming real hard and you just had to be in the car back and forth across the entire fucking city for 2 hours . #what the FUCK was the purpose of that #im gonna start biting im gonna throw a fit im gonna scream but also i cant because i dont want to scare the dogs #hrrvrhrhrgrgrgrhrhrgrgrgrgrrgrhrhrhrhr #if the weather would just fucking calm down id be FINE #someone pleaseeee for the love of god tell me something happy

[ladyofthelake]

Just got cameos from basically everyone in my fave band The Struts and just received the lead singer Luke (its like 4am hfsfbshdfbs) AND HE WAS SO SWEET AND GRACIOUS AND IM SO

#IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE #the struts #man I need to save for their concert now hfkfbwhfbewhfdvq #never seen them live #but they're coming back to the uk soon so aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah #luke spiller #HAHA THERES NO WAY IM GETTING ANYTHING REMOTELY RELATED TO SLEEP TONIGHT #god cameo is the best #like I can't afford cons even in the uk because of travel hotel etc #let alone the price of photo ops and autos #and this way I get the time to say everything I want to the people I love #Im so so grateful #wish Bradley had one #Im glad that colin doesn't do social media though he's a wise rare breed lol #Id still love to meet him one day but at least I have his auto and my experiences at the globe and london #but man MAN I mean I love so much music and many artists but these guys are my fave band #and its happened to me now like I never had a fave band in my life #I just love loads of stuff #but in the last year or so these guys have just become my band and I feel like a teenager #andIm going fucking insane again #THEY ALL SAID MY NAME AND KNOW I EXIST #HELPERMFGWERGHWERBGWER

[barredandromeda]

imsoo normal about guys byw

#sprry this is the start of my downfall im actually going to theow up and vomit and die #fronting daily actually sucks!and i have no restraint on my curiiusity and i have to figure shit out and i literally want to die #cause like i found out shit i didnt want to and its entirely my fault too bro i cant even be upset cause i went looking for it ughhh #i should be allowed to die afterschool so i dont have to feel anything else tbh thatd be a pleasure great thing whwatever #this is genuinelky the repeat of my downfall again literally september all over again and its just march jesus fucking fhrist bro need todi #the nervous system is so dumb what is ooottfvgvsh or whagevr i hate that dumbass acronym i hate healrhcare #serenity save me 🙏 save me serenity 🙏 come home #everyone keeps sayng that but qith donald trump #anyway back to me i need to scream and not just to serenity cause i feel bad🤭 no emojis are tood enougu anymore bro im going to kms #killing myself so fucking hard like a vampire driving a stake through his heart sort of shit ykwim like a siren drowning ro sokething poeti #save me sid 🙏 sid save me actually hed laugh at me for hthis lowkey which is soo deserved cause real bro why am i breaking down at midnight #on a dchool day too bro again and again i dont want to go to mf schooll and be obsessed w k. hes fine but i genuinely cant do my work #lowkey would iet be weird to talk to my ex ab my relationship with him cause like yea i miss him ykwim and i need closure but i got a crush #cause like on one hand its like i was the one who brokenup ykwim like even if the circumstances werewei4d whatever its like why would i hav #the right to even bring it up and i alr crushed on a new guy and like ignoring the uguult i do like him ughh broni want to kms #i love love i just dont love lvoe for myself cause ugh bro i hare one guy idc ab his crushes but he made me hear ab them lke idc idek him #sorry u had a bad experience w bi girls like idk what u want me to say ??? surprise me too ??? tff ugh i hate love girls #i need a gf but the thoigjt of liking a girl genuinely deeply scares me to my core cause i like girls but ppl dont like that i do ykwim #all mu friends are fucking gay bro idek why im so worried ab liking girls like who is there to disappoint but myself and my entire family #noo pressure qt all being oldest and queerest like ok yeah its midnight happy new years. i need this blanket tobsuffocste me #sleep wrappedup alr like a borito burito i dek and its not enoughh i need a soul crushing embrafe to sleep #ok im done i got post vent clarity i need to sleep #post #erics tag #delete later #serenity needs this as a ref in the morning #i beed my mom to cry to but j cant tell her any of this id rather be eaten alive by bugsbro and if i just cry to her without a reason #shell fs go througj my phone and fimd out why anyway so wjats the pointtt my god i tqlk too much and vent too much #gota flair forbthe dramatics ivguess mb

[aria0fgold]

Like, my dear ocs... besties of all time... Alec and Ray living together and they have their own separate rooms but sometimes sleep together in one room anyway. Alec being a light sleeper but his sleep quality increases by A Lot if he's listening to someone's heartbeat (he finds that so soothing) and so Ray sleeps with him whenever he can.

#aria rants #its just that ray and alec's sleep sched is sometimes like that one dynamic of someone going to sleep at 6 am (ray) #and then there's the other person living with em waking up at 6 am (alec) #whenever ray gets dragged into bed by alec he finally gets to sleep early for once. also ray is a deep sleeper #also ray likes holding hands. he'll hold hands with anyone. it's like a habit for him at this point. he'd sleep while holding alec's hand #god if i can just draw em in a way im satisfied and happy with id draw em sleeping. alec's head on ray's chest while his #other hand is being held by ray like ouuouggghhhghghg... i love em. their bond makes me so feral

[medicaltechnician]

back in my pissy at some people in my friend group a little bit era!!! ✨✨

i am just gonna, not be online and social until new years i think. (might be online a little. Just want to get away from everything though. Still will be active and spreading info on twt so maybe /maybe/ it’ll get thru some of their heads.)

just, dont want to talk to some of em again. In my evil era. All I see is the worst in people era. Tired era. 🙄 In my wish I was ignorant again but i cant even wish that because of everything era.

#ker talks #broskies is 0230 like #i just wanna sleep #and get thru xmas and then get on a bus and go to my dads and disconnect from my stupid life in this city #more and more it seems appealing to restart my life in another city #and just leave all my friends behind #theres like. 1 i want to keep. #and they wanna move out anyways so LMAO #it sort of sucks the one person who i actually think would be healthy to keep in my life is just about to graduate hs. #I would fucking love to keep my friends in uni but y’all suck. #>://// need to get new friends. how does one do that idk im not very socialblr #literatly my entire friend group rn i made friends with thru my bestie #who im sort of :/ at #but feel a strong sense of loyalty towards to the point i think its detrimental to me #and i have no idea how to make friends outside of mutual friends #id really like a responisble friend group who was out creating thing and i could help with creative projects #really thinking im being held down. #God I just want to sleep man #like just i wsnt to go to my dads rn #i need to talk to him bout all this or like reset while im there