#I can put therapy into my fiction and media

[emeraldcreeper]

I’m again thinking about like a rebellious emotional vampire who goes fine I’ll deal with needing to get negative emotions my way, and is just a fantastic therapist with absurd and super flexible hours for vampires to use without having to go oh fuck I have to explain why I’m going to therapy only at night and he whole vampirism thing

like it’d only happen in canon to help nandor out of his perrenial depression funk, like if it comes up ever, it would be very fun and I would once again point like the Leonardo DiCaprio meme and say look! It’s psychology! Occurring! I study that!

#wwdits spoilers #I can fuckin SEE it #the vampire therapist passing a box of tissues eyes glowing blue from the sheer amount of sadness #is it ethical therapy no #I’m just saying most vampires need therapy #and emotional vamps need food and some may feel bad about faking pity #not evie she’s a girlboss I’m just thinking about it again since she came back for one episode to uphold bureaucracy #I nearly wrote the fic but didn’t like 2 years ago or so #so y’all get this now or again as my brain soups around going mmmmm psychology……….. #for hours on end while I do not watch GO season 2 I have seen what occurs and I know my romcom heart cannot take it #regardless of circumstances #I can put therapy into my fiction and media #it would help so many characters and so many arguments get solved #wwdits

[neechees]

about the whole preoccupation w incest thing amongst white people on the internet i haven't really noticed it? i am white and find it intriguing (i was incestually abused as a child and so i find it interesting how it develops in families, how people respond to it, etc (it's kind of been part of my healing process)) but i don't really see anyone being obsessed w it? maybe pointing out themes of it in media but that's kinda it? some of my mutuals, idk if they're white, but they have also been abused the same way i have and find discussing it or finding media with incest in it to be a part of exposure therapy/dealing with the trauma. id love to hear your thoughts on it :)

I've talked about this a few times in the past, but I'm posting again to make my views & boundaries known that 1. Dni if you're a "pr0shipper" & enjoy shipping incest, I do not want you here, 2. Fiction does not exist in a vacuum. Im going with the assumption that anon is not a proshitter & they're asking this in good faith. Just putting a readmore because this got long and also for anyone who is triggered by this topic

The conversation I think is surrounding proshitters ("shippers"), but I think the conversation also goes deeper into things like "incest" & "step family" being popular porn site searches that very often feature white actors, as well as those things showing up in film, book, and TV, but in romantisize/sexualized/downplayed ways written by and featuring, again, white people. So I believe generally the "obsession" part means White people who are overly preoccupied with seeing incest quite often, especially and specifically in sexualized, fetishized, and/or romantisized ways. Because personally (& I believe other nonwhite people can attest to this as well, and that's what the other posts mean to say) a lot of the people who have this overkeen interest in incest are White.

Like it's not talking about people wanting to have nuanced depictions of incest, why it's bad, how that affects people & can be extremely traumatizing, and then approaching that topic respectfully (because it should be, that's a terrible thing and showing respect for victims of it & ensuring its not, accidentally or not, endorsed or shown as "okay" or normalizing it, is important. Execution as well as intent are important & should be done with tact.) The people who are mentioned as being "obsessed with incest" as these pr0shippers who find incest "sexy", want to see it, actively search it out where it is both romantisized/sexualized/fetishized, and will apply it in fanon interpretations even when it doesn't exist in canon or this interpretation wouldn't/doesn't make sense anyway, specifically because they enjoy seeing it. They find it titillating. Quite a few of the popular users on this site who have famously defended incest (and/or pedophilia) both in real life AND as proshitters have been... White. And racist.

I think there IS a correlation between White people, proshitters (who are usually people who defend romantisized depictions of things like incest), and liking incest, because I very often seen proshitters be racist (and other types of bigoted tbh), and ALSO defend things like racist depictions of nonwhite characters, things like slavery AU's featuring Black characters, or colonizer AU's, and the like. It's a common joke (not so much of a joke tho tbh) that the more White people that exist prominently in a fandom, then the less fun it is, specifically because of racism that will then exist in that fandom. So there's this huge overlap of White fans being racist but ALSO there being a lot of fans who enjoy seeing incest in their fave medias, because of the proshitters, who do both. There was also that whole thing where a bunch of popular white users on here (many of whom ALSO defended incest) defended sexual raceplay & then called any nonwhite person (ESPECIALLY BLACK USERS) "homophobic" or "transphobic" for rightfully and correctly calling this racist.

Lots of White people like to do this thing where, if they are marginalized in some way, then they'll weaponize that marginalization against anyone who criticizes them for something (most often racism), even if their marginalized identity has nothing to do with the topic or was brought up. White women who happened to be gay called me "homophobic" and "misogynist" (even though I'm a bi woman but you know) because I talked about the nazi associations & racist inclinations of cottage core. I saw multiple White lotr fans call a specific artist "homophobic" because that artist asked that their art not be tagged as an incest ship, and that incest ship is very popular (and their art piece was depicting them as just family), but this incest ship isn't even canon, and the artist wasn't actually homophobic or against gay relationships in general. So they essentially just called this artist "homophobic" for no reason. Because they didn't want their art piece of two family members to be incorrectly interpreted as incestuous. Im even reluctant to draw fan art of some of my favorite characters who are family members, because I dont want people who ship incest to interact with it or tag it as that, and the fact that so many artists even have to ask people NOT to do this is insane.

Like it's one thing if someone analyzes media with it or might find comfort in certain characters in books or TV etc because they feel seen in their trauma, and yet can acknowledge that this isn't for everybody and not everyone processes their trauma this way, and that seeing it (incest in media) can make trauma WORSE for many people, AND that not all representations are made equally, and none of those are free from being available to criticism in approach of that representation anyway. But very often there's White fans (many who aren't even incest victims themselves, so they don't have the "I'm coping" excuse) that are offended that other people don't like seeing incest at ALL, that people will (understandably) not want to interact with them if they're a pr*shipper, and hate being reminded that treating incest like its a fun little interest that shouldn't be handled with care just because it's being featured in a fictional situation (or even sometimes when it's NOT) is pretty fucked up and even disrespectful & insensitive to incest survivors, and then chalk up any criticism of the amount of sexualized/romanticized incest as "censorship" even though that's not what's happening, and again, very often self victimize themselves and often are also racist.

#like one popular artist on here who draws incest ALSO had a roleplay blog where they rped incest @ #and then CHEATED ON their irl fiancee with their roleplay partner they rped incest with. and they are. you guessed it. white. #i can name so many other examples and its literally SO common for nonwhite ppl to have had interactions- #with racist white fans who were also into incest. like its a pattern and we're asking 'why?' #incest tw

[pandorem]

Thinking about in Dead Boy Detectives, after the Devlin case, Edwin and Crystal are trying to get Charles to open up and talk about what happened and how I kind of appreciate how it’s portrayed? Like Charles does have to work through a lot of stuff and IS bottling up a lot of anger and trauma that is going to explode by the end of the episode but Edwin and Crystal trying to get him to talk about it doesn’t actually help, and they do back off once he makes it clear he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Not going to go too into it so that I’m not trauma dumping, but I remember an experience where I felt like I owed someone my emotional honesty and vulnerability and tried to push myself into talking about something I wasn’t ready to express or process and almost immediately slid into what was either going to end up as a panic attack or a full on dissociative episode. Which would be the first time I ever had the latter. Thankfully I recognized that pretty quick and stopped trying to push myself. Sometimes we are just not ready to talk about things and that is ok. It is actually incredibly important to be able to recognize your boundaries in that area. That is part of good communication too.

In fiction, fanfiction especially but general fiction as well, I have gotten very used to characters saying “you HAVE to talk about this in order to heal” and pushing people to confront their traumas without knowing if they’re ready, and always being right. It bugs me a lot. There’s a reason why the first phase of trauma therapy is often establishing trust and safety with the therapist and not getting straight into the source of the trauma. Heck, there’s a reason why exposure therapy for phobias need to be done in a controlled environment with the patient’s full consent, at the patient’s own pace, because otherwise it’s just going to make things worse.

I remember seeing in another fandom, people were getting upset with a character for reacting poorly and lashing out at others when put into a situation that was triggering to him, all of them saying that his ptsd and trauma wasn’t a get out of jail free card for his hurtful behaviour, and there is a point to that, but they were all ignoring that the character had expressed his distress several times and his desire to get out of the triggering situation, but other characters and circumstances wouldn’t let him. He tried establishing boundaries, and when the situation wouldn’t let him, he lashed out.

In DBD, these characters are teenagers, and I really don’t expect them to know all of that when it seems like a lot of real world adults don’t seem to get it. Of course they want to help, and of course the way to help is to listen if he needs. But Charles keeps getting angry when they ask, and while Charles has a lot of anger that he’s never learned to properly express/process, it’s also important to note that anger seems to be his response to being confronted with triggering stimuli. So like, yes he is trying to bottle up and ignore what happened which is not good or helpful but also. It feels obvious to me that he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Talking about things like this in fandom spaces can be important bc shows can influence people’s feelings on real world situations, even if subconsciously. Especially if they don’t have any first hand experience with it. But it was in part messages in media like that, like “you have to talk about this stuff with people or you’re just ignoring the problem” that made me feel like I should try to cross my own boundaries. If the guy I was talking to tried to push me to keep sharing after I started shutting down, it would have made a bad situation way worse.

Idk. I just wish that I’d see more of a balance both in and out of fiction, where talking can absolutely help, but we also were aware that talking when you aren’t ready to can make things worse.

#dead boy detectives #charles rowland #cw ptsd mention #cw dissociation mention #cw panic attack mention #idk this is a ramble about trauma both fictional and real but doesn’t get too deep into the trauma part I think

[shsl-gay-nurse]

//putting this in the seamoon tag becuase I have a point I wanna make sea fairy and moonlight cookie are NOT canonically lesbians, nor are they canonically dating. coding does not mean cannon.  your headcannons are NOT cannon others are MORE THEN ALLOWED to have a different headcannon then you and ship sea fairy/moonlight with whoever they want. it is NOT homophobic to headcannon the cookie with NO CANNON SEXUALITY as something other then gay

theres more sexuality's then gay and straight. plenty more, pull your heads out of your asses

further more, something else i’d like to state yes, devsisters has gone on multiple times to imply moonlight and sea fairy have a deep relationship with eachother, however i’d like to make it known platonic relationships can be just as deep as romantic ones

stop being entitled and accusing others of homophobia/telling them to fucking die over fucking fictional cookies. y’all need therapy -and before anyone calls me homophobic, im litterly a fucking lesbian lmfao

edit: becuase im seeing a lot of people missing my point, I don’t care why you think seamoon is cannon. nor do I care why you ship it. hell I ship seamoon, I think its a cute ship

this post isn't really about that, its about the fact that, there is no proof that ether sea fairy or moonlight are LESBIANS, yes theirs a lot of coding to suggest they like woman, but I will remind you all, BISEXUALS AND PANSESUALS ARE A THING, along with HUNDREDS of other orientations in the mix. and again, you do not get a say in how platonic relationships show affection. platonic partners are a thing, learn what QPP’S are for fucks sake NOT ONLY THAT, friends can call eachother “dearest” “beloved” or say “I love you”.  like, me and my irl friends used to kiss sometimes just cuz listen. I WANT more lesbian representation in media, I would kill someone for LGBTQ+ rep in shows I like. HOWEVER, it dosen’t matter how oppressed lesbians are telling others to die over fictional baked goods isen’t gonna fix the issue and thats my point. I don’t care about the seamoon ship itself, I care about us not being complete toxic basterds to each other 

#seamoon #moonlight cookie #sea fairy cookie #cookie run #seaharem #moonharem #im not tagging all these ships on there own becuase. #good lord theres a lot of them #fire spirit cookie #mocha ray cookie #captain ice cookie #or is it ice captain cookie #i forgot #ice captain cookie #Pirate Cookie #salt cookie #solar flare cookie (oc) #blueberry pie cookie #timekeeper cookie #starfruit cookie

[average-dragon-enjoyer64]

honestly, props to Asagiri and the anime directors. I have pretty bad empathy deficiency bc of the ‘tism, and I find it hard to feel emotions for fictional characters. I’ve only ever felt sad about the dog dying in fiction.

This is the first time I have genuinely been prompted to be sad because of a story. Anything else I’ve felt towards other medias could be shut off easily and was often confused with already existing depressive episodes, but if chapter 110 didn’t hurt me enough, the season 5 episode 10 did.

It goes to show how much meticulousness and raw passion Asagiri and Harukawa put into the story, and the individual developments of each and every character, as well as interweaving their respective identities, both fictional and real, into beautifully crafted relationships between one another. It’s the kind of story that I feel safe to hyperfixate on: an abundance of content, and the little easily missable details that often actually mean something.

While I’m no fan of sadness (as no one is, I should believe), the emotions that I have felt for each character have puzzled even myself - someone who is honest with themselves about their feelings due to it being a matter of safety and necessity rather than preference. Spending hours thinking about not only my current conundrum with the story, but also the way that it makes me feel, are some of the most valuable and precious times in my mind. I have had the privilege of watching characters grow through their trauma and flourish, and they have unwittingly triggered my own personal growth through the smallest of questions, like: Why do I dislike Dazai if he is a fan favourite? Why is he a fan favourite? What led to Kouyou being so sure that darkness can never be cured? Specifically, in that one flashback scene? Why does everyone dismiss Dazai’s suicidal tendencies so easily? Why don’t I like Kunikida? Who is Sigma, really? Nikolai knows much more than he actually expresses; what is he hiding? Literally everything about Fyodor…

While I’ve often seen my own feelings as more of a restriction - a burden that holds myself and others back, this story (and therapy) has brought so much clarity to my struggles. Even hearing some characters say things that have struck a chord with me because I had the same thoughts many years ago, and sometimes I still do.

The sadness that this brought me was a delicate blend of a burning passion and the end of a piano piece - nostalgic, and yet wishing that, hoping that, believing that, it’s still there. A small flicker persistent through thick and thin as the walls around it were burnt and discarded. So small that it is clear that there are only two possibilities: to relight it and allow it to rage as a forest fire, or to quietly quell it, and think of it every now and then, wondering if it was the right decision. Whether the flame will be revived of drenched, one thing is certain; this is a turning point, and the decision must be made immediately. That sense of urgency coupled with wishing one didn’t have to choose brings such a soft and calm ache in the heart. Tired, exhausted even, but still there is the last spark that will surely be extinguished if not supported immediately. A spark of longing, hoping, and dawning understanding.

I can’t even figure out what other people are feeling, let alone a fictional character, especially one as cryptic as Dazai. Still, there is no doubt in my mind that this is definitely his worst case scenario, the last outcome, the result that existed only in his ignored and downtrodden nightmares.

The elaborateness of his emotions are so clearly and yet fully portrayed that I can’t help but admire it, especially because I have so much trouble expressing emotions myself. Whether or not Dazai survives will not hinder the effect that Bungou Stray Dogs has had on me, and I will continue to support it in the future. After all, while I do like Dazai as a character, there is still much more I wish to learn about in more detail. I want to know more about Kouyou, Gin, Verlaine, Tecchou, Teruko, Yosano, Jouno, and the others.

It is cruelly ironic to me, that a series about dead authors with superpowers could comfort me and help me more than anyone around me ever did when I was in my fundamental growing years. Very few characters in Bungou Stray Dogs have confirmed disabilities (aside from some form of trauma), and yet I have been able to grow and understand them, and see them in myself in a way that no one ever could ever do to me thus far in real life.

Also it stopped me from keeping attempting suicide because Dazai did it as well and I did not want to associate myself with him in any way, shape or form. Hey, whatever works.

#tw: mental illness #tw: suicide attempts #bsd #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #autism #adhd #bsd chapter 110 #bsd spoilers #spoilers #stormbringer #please let me know if i missed any tws #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #tw: abuse #bsd appreciation hours #bsd characterisation appreciation hours #the fact that I discovered bsd because I lost my copy of crime and punishment and was shopping online for a new one #i was so confused when i saw an anime boy fyodor dostoevsky 💀💀 #skk

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

hi angel, are you still doing matchups? if so, could i request one too? recently got more into them for some reason. if it’s too late, no worries!

i’m passionate, emotional, and a little intense. i’d like to think i’m brave. i’m not afraid to fight for what i believe in. i’m also the eldest daughter, and a bit of a perfectionist. i’m a huge city girl, and i enjoy reading, writing, shopping, and curating hyper-specific Spotify playlists. am also a huge fan of historical romances and historical fiction in any media format. i also love doing my skincare and makeup, and have an extensive shower and self-care routine that i swear gives me almost the same benefits as therapy does. i adore late night drives, sunny but cold weather, the mountains, and the city lights. i grew up amongst skyscrapers, and i can’t live without them. my favourite way to spend a night out is with my girlfriends, going from one swanky bar to the next, exploring new restaurants, giggling and gossiping the entire time. i’m not a big fan of the outdoors, or of bugs, lizards, amphibians, stinginess, and indecision. i talk a lot, i love talking. i suppose it’s why i tend to gravitate to people opposite from me. my best friends are both introverts and i’ve always had a thing for quieter men. i’m still discovering my style but i know i like stuff that’s bolder, a little glamorous, and i’m a huge bootcut jeans girl. i only really wear gold jewellery, but i’m trying to mix metals at the moment. thank you so much. x

(HELLO! You remind me of one of my besties because she always says “hey angel” but anyways I hope you enjoy this!)

I match you with..

Gojo Satoru

- Loves the fact that you are not afraid to stand up for what you believe in.

- Takes you shopping out in the city, stopping at nearby restaurants to eat at.

- Speaking of shopping, he loves to take you to jewelry stores and let you pick what you want. No matter the price of it.

- He likes to see what songs that you put in your playlist(s) and what types of playlists you have.

- You two will go on late night drives together, just chatting about anything that’s on your mind.

- Sometimes he does your self-care routine with you. It can be a good bonding experience for the both of you.

- Compliments your makeup a lot. One time when you were out with your besties he went through your makeup and put some on. It was hilariously bad, but that was the point to make you laugh.

Masterlist

#jjk matchups #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n

[thirddeadlysin]

My year in review is never going to look super thrilling or impressive but here's some things I'm proud of accomplishing in 2023:

asking for a new title at work that actually reflects my work and experience (literally nothing came of it except my growing sense of resentment but I did it)

telling my doctors and trainer that I don't give a shit about how fat I am and I don't want to be advised on weight loss methods anymore, only on behaviors and therapies that will make me stronger/healthier (boy did that not work 90% of the time lol)

switching to a new obgyn because my old one made me feel very stupid and unheard when I had questions (the only unqualified success)

barely writing any fiction or poetry, barely reading any books, and barely watching any TV or movies all year without beating myself up about it (this means I prioritized things like sleep and being outdoors and learning new skills and volunteering and reading very cozy comforting fic of all kinds, bc in previous years I had started making all of the barely-done things into weird stamina/endurance/popularity contests and/or put undue pressure on myself to meet totally arbitrary goals)

recognizing that i put myself back into debt by spending too much money on everything in an attempt to outrun grief it feels like I should be past already (idky I think there's a timeline???? but now i can work on not doing that)

deleting all my dating app and several social media accounts because I realized I was using them for ✨️validation✨️ that would either never arrive or would feel hollow because there's work I need to do first to feel worthy of accepting it

So a lot of my year kind of sucked when you look at it this way! It's hard enough to do a thing that needs done and when it doesn't get the result you want it can feel even worse! But all of these are things I couldn't have done in any prior year and that's growth, even if the end results look largely the same.

#sometimes a year in review is kind of sad and that's okay #i'm sure i'll post a million more times today but happy new year y'all

[greghatecrimes]

I like you and i don't think you're a bad person but I feel like you don't understand Thirteen as a character, you seem to idolize the hollow caricature of her you've created that allows you to insert yourself inside. I'm telling you, you don't need to look like Olivia Wilde to talk about your passions and interests!

You don't have to attribute these things to a fictional person, you can let go of the mask and just be truly you! I promise you will find a new appreciation for Thirteen, and more importantly yourself. I wish you all the peace and love in the world, and I hope my words help you find yourself. Take care 💖

Wow, this was so enlightening for me about my insecurities and the inner workings of my psyche! Even more than five years of therapy, EMDR, and an entire psychology degree!! Anon, I’m assuming you’re the same person that sent me the ask I answered this morning. I see now that I assumed wrongly when I answered that ask under the belief that it was just genuine curiosity. The huge irony here is that I’ve grown a lot over the past five years, and lately I’ve been reflecting on how I’m in a place now where I’m perfectly happy to be who I am, to love what I love, to be unapologetically me. As a follower of my sideblog on tumblr (not even my main blog!!!) you’re only seeing a tiny portion of who I really am as a person (because I KNOW you’re not someone that knows me in real life). Having said that, it certainly takes a HELL of a lot of audacity to come into MY inbox and tell me on anon that you think you know me and my insecurities and how I think about Thirteen better than I know all of those things about myself. 

This is actually HILARIOUS to me, because I WISH the things I “hide behind a character”, as you would say, were as simple as passions and interests. When I was talking about attributing emotions to fictional characters, I didn’t mean silly things like the fact that I like video games, or being a cat person, or even deeper things like being autistic/ADHD (which I 100% admit, when I headcanon the House characters as neurodivergent, that is me projecting because I wish we had more ND representation in media. And you know what? PROJECTION IS OKAY. this is TUMBLR. I reblog fucking pony versions of my favorite characters! I write crack headcanons! Bestie, I’m just trying to de-stress on this blog. 95% of the stuff I post here is not as serious as you’re trying to make it.) Here’s the short version of my REAL “insecurities that I project into a hollow caricature of Thirteen” for you: I grew up being abused. I wasn’t allowed to express any emotions. Ever. I wasn’t allowed to have any needs. Ever. Now I have post traumatic stress disorder and my life is a mess. My life kind of sucked for the first 21 years and guess what? It still kind of sucks right now! I write and think about Thirteen processing trauma she might have faced in her life because it’s cathartic to me as someone who is healing from their own trauma, and to help myself cope with living in an actively stressful/shitty environment. (And guess what? It's a clinically approved coping mechanism. I highly doubt my therapist of five years would let me invest so much time and effort and emotion into a hollow caricature of a person that leads me to lose sight of who I really am!)

This is fanfiction and tumblr headcanons, not a published writing gig. You clearly care too much about my characterization of Thirteen aligning with yours, and unfortunately for you, I don’t. I write what I write because I want to read it. If you want to write her a certain way, no one’s stopping you! Make your own tumblr posts! Write your own damn fanfics! I’m not the authority on Thirteen and I’ve never pretended to be. If you don’t like anything about my characterization of Thirteen, then fucking move on. I’ve put way too much time and effort into giving everyone in my life the benefit of the doubt and striving to be the bigger person, to be the nicest person. And you know what? I’ve spent my entire life being ashamed of what I think and doubting everything I feel. I’ve already got five years and counting of working to undo that damage. I’m not about to let an anon on tumblr make me feel the same shame and doubt about my thoughts and writing for one of my favorite characters.

#ask #anon #goodnight. i am logging off for the night and if anyone needs me you can reach me on discord

[songofthesibyl]

“Even for an immortal, there was not enough time in life to waste it on hatred. On feeling it and putting it into the world.”

—Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Wings and Ruin

So, no one cares what I think, my blog has no reach, but I just wanted to talk about social media, and fandoms, and the A Court of Thorns and Roses series.

I read the series last year, because I wanted to read a contemporary fantasy novel that dealt with faerie lore, and this series had 4 1/2 stars on amazon and was continually in print for a number of years, so I was intrigued and decided to give it a try. I don’t have tiktok and don’t follow book accounts on social media.

I loved the faerie lore in the first book, but made the mistake of looking up fan art, and the direction of the series was spoiled for me. While I enjoyed the series, and read the original trilogy fairly quickly, there were parts that bothered me, or that didn’t make sense—largely because of the majority fan interpretation that didn’t match how I experienced the series. I definitely got Twilight, Buffy, and Vampire Diaries vibes. For me, it was clearly in the dark fantasy genre, and the insertion of real world values didn’t quite make sense to me the way it was done. 

So, it was nice to find comments in reviews that felt the same. On here, and elsewhere. I was very isolated at the time, and this was a way to find a community. I was part of a fandom for the first time, writing fanfic for the first time. 

But this other side—I don’t mean pro- or anti-, I mean that really nasty, bullying, bizarre side of the fandom—became more and more prominent. I just never usually inserted myself in it.

This is social media. This is internet comments. This is human nature to bully and pick on others while sitting on the toilet at work. It’s nothing new.

But it bothers me. It’s always bothered me that people take time out of their days to be like this. And I get why the majority of it is done—boredom, fun, a distraction. But it still bothers me.

And because this series tackles such serious subjects as sexual assault, trauma, mental health, abuse—those throwaway, bullying, trolling comments take on a very disturbing tone.

If you disagree there are the usual epithets; using the need to seek therapy as an insult, attacking someone’s looks, family—even if no pictures or info are known. Telling people to kill themselves.

But because of the insertion of an abuse/DV “very special episode” aspect to the story, the comments become specifically about abuse—so if you feel a certain way about a fictional character, you are an “abuse apologist,” or want to be abused.

The other day, someone I know was arguing in a post on Instagram by a couple’s book account, with thousands of followers. The post was about Tamlin, the linchpin of the bizarre nature of this fandom. She disagreed with the post, liked the character more than they did. She argued using points from the book, but they fundamentally disagreed—fine. This person can handle themselves. But the other person said something in their discussion that I’ve seen before, that bothers me:

“I hope you find your Tamlin in the world.”

The person who said this dislikes the character. It was meant as a passive-aggressive, dismissive comment. You think he’s so great, I hope you find a person that is horrible and abusive in real life.

And it bothered me, and I knew it wasn’t worth it, but I just didn’t want to let it go this time. This person was an adult, not an adolescent. So I said it bothered me, that I had seen that comment before and I didn’t like its implications. I waited for a response—and saw that I was blocked. I made no accusations, said nothing personal about them—just that, just because one disagrees about a fictional character in a fantasy world doesn’t mean they want an unstable, abusive partner in real life. That comments like that bothered me. (Probably more than the person I was defending.) But it bothered me. And I got blocked, for the first time.

And that bothered me even more. Did they think they were being attacked? I don’t know. But the comment is probably still there, and unchallenged, and they’ll say it again, as so many others have. And that’s the way fandoms are. But it bothers me. It bothers me that, after dipping my toes into a fandom for the first time, into being social, this is what it all leads to. And it’s not even exceptional. This is how it always is.

And, despite some frustrations, I enjoyed the books, or I wouldn’t have kept reading them. And it made me want to reach out, and be social, when I hadn’t for a long time. But this part will always make me extremely anxious, and it’s exhausting, and it’s disheartening when this is what it all leads to. That books that speak about not spreading hate can lead to such nasty, disturbing, bullying behavior. It’s not fun. And I don’t really want to be a part of it anymore.

#tamlin #acotar #fandom discourse

[stormblessed95]

Hi, Storm...do you mind to receive manga recs?For my favorite BL manga is "Therapy Game" by Meguru Hinohara, for BL manhwa is "Love for Sale" by Dal HyeonJi, and for BL manhua is "The Secret Tales of a 30 years old Gay Bachelor" by S-monkey.

Sorry if you already know any of this, and don't like them.

Thanks so much for your books recs and your post about shipping, it really helps me.

Also can I ask your opinion on something? I came from one of the Asian country that see LGBTQ as something taboo and sinful, so I just learned more about LGBTQ this past 3 years. I'm not a fan of K-pop or K-Drama (sorry, I know your blog from your fav fictional couples post and books recs, not from your BTS posts), but a lot of my friends and cousins love them. They love shipping between boy band members or between actors but when I tried to talk about BL manga/manhwa or MLM books, they scold me and said that those media are sinful and gay people really need help and can be "changed".

I'm confused now, how can they love shipping those guys (and are their fans) but said queer media and queer people need help?

Sorry for this long ask, if you want to answer, thank you very much, but if you don't, it's up to you. Thanks again for your LGBTQ posts and books recs, they really inspire me.....💐

Hey love, people are welcome here for whatever reason they want to be here for. Lol so as long as the BTS, jikook posts don't bother you, you are welcome to chat or send in asks about books, fics, shows and anything else whenever you want. And I ALWAYS am down for good recommendations!

I also am happy to answer questions to the best of my ability about the LGBTQ+ experience. I will say that it honestly just sounds like simple homophobia and queer fetishization from your friends and cousins. And it's probably not something that will change for them without them working on themselves ALOT. Which is unfortunate. You can try to help point them in the right direction if you are mentally up for that, but you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink 🤷🏻‍♀️ for more details on both of those things, like homophobia and fetishization, you can start with these posts here, if you've seen them yet or not.

And if you read these posts and have more questions or want clarification on anything, please send another ask or DM me. I will open my DMs back up for a little while I guess 😅😂 I'm more than happy to answer any other questions you have or just trade more queer media recs!

#recommendations for storm

[feretra]

my favorite thing about me being classified as a member of the moral police whom I called out for wanting violent misogyny and suchforth tagged?

if they knew anything — like actually anything — about me and the literary world, they would know i grew up and cut my teeth as a wee youngin’ on anne rice, chuck palahniuk, cormac mccarthy, bret easton ellis, and the marquis de sade. that george orwell is my favorite author.

that i read so much truly egregious, and legitimately traumatizing to many, pieces of fiction that it made me uniquely prepared to slosh through the horrendous piles of genocidal narratives that i am capable of feeling nothing. that is not normal, but it is a gift in a career path when literally everything you’re handling has the ability to rend your psyche five ways from hell. because that’s what i was training myself to endure.

sometimes i still have to stop and realize that i am criticizing horror and other works unfairly because the bar was shifted so profoundly when i was young, that if something literally does not traumatize or horrify me permanently, then it did not do its job. it did, i just no longer have a fair ability to judge the standard. this is as unfair to the author and the work as it is to myself, who hurt myself so deeply in my youth trying to find something that reflected my own horrors? that i unconsciously ruined my own enjoyment of fictionalized media through the power of what it can convey to me.

i did not learn my limits, which a very milennial and gen x rite of passage with the rogue internet of the past, but not exactly a safe one. this is why i am such a strong advocate the self-moderation of your own media intake, and have the critique that attempting to always keep putting or seeking to put characters in abject misery and torture does, in fact, drive the dehumanization of others in your mindset. when our media consumption — canon or fandom — begins to reflect that hyperviolence and detachment of empathy towards others, we often unconsciously adopt those behaviours through the memetic mindset of simply mimicking the characters we enjoy. visual propaganda does the same thing without attachment to brand image, usually, but sometimes. and this is particularly problematic for neurodivergent people, who often adopt portions of characters we love as a way of masking. this isn’t inevitably and always a problem, but it can be in situations like these.

so traversing that razor thin margin for your own wellbeing is difficult, but required.

even more than media consumption, i think this is is interesting when posed against my parenting style. most people don’t even realize i did parent. still parent. i raised my cousin’s two children from the ages of five to now, and i never kept anything taboo from them. they came into my care through addiction, they were acutely aware of the reality in which we live.

before i got these kids, the internet had raised them. they were like how i had been, but in elementary school. completely desensitized by their media consumption to the point that it damaged their ability to relate to other people, but especially peers their own age. it took a lot of work to fucking repair that, while adhering to my own guns about trying to not censor the world they grew up in. it took a lot of therapy.

elementary age kids shouldn’t have be placed into in-patient programming because the internet raised them for their formative years and gave them fucking reactive attachment disorder. and yet.

yes. just thoughts.

#ooc

[melting-sugar-cubes]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Thanks....

I don’t mind at tall~! And while I’m not sure I could give a full pick from everything I’ve consumed, I can at least go with some that stick out as extra memorable lol

{Disclaimer: these are in particular order, aside from the order I’ve managed to remember them in-- also full warning that this list is probably gonna be a mess, but here we go lol}

1}: Minato Mito -Therapy Game/Therapy Game Restart

Hoo boy, where do I even start here? I suppose some of the reasons I love Minato so much are the fact that I can relate to him, personality wise... Of course, liking how he looks is a nice bonus too-- but I think one of the biggest reasons is that despite being a troubled person thanks to his past, he’s till willing to work on himself and try to become a better partner/man, even if during that journey he’s still struggling with himself in a fair few different ways.

2}: Howl Pendragon -Howl’s Moving Castle

Look-- all i can offer for my piece here is that this movie is among my top tier bits of comfort media, and i’ll make no excuses that part of said enjoyment is a crush on a flamboyant, charming, and sparkly wizard--

3}: Cheshire Cat -Are You Alice?

Okay, so-- i’ve had a soft spot for Alice in Wonderland themed media for ages now, and this manga was no exception-- plus, the darker/more mysterious twists it’s built on made for something really new at the time i picked it up. And while I adore a majority of the cast, I can’t help singling out this troublemaking cat as a high favorite lol-- seeing as his personality is super appealing to me, and watching his dynamics with other characters was always interesting and fun... although, in addition to this-- the fact that i enjoyed him enough to rp him for a good few years likely goes a long way in me loving him as well. As there’s always something special about making your own memories with a character in that sorta way--

4}: Shui -Lamento ~Beyond the Void~

Despite being a minor character in the story, I like Shui for the fact that he was overall such a caring character, and someone who tried his damnest to fight for he believed was the right thing to do. From befriending (and let’s be honest, probably also falling in love with) Leaks, whom their whole populous viewed as an outcast, to trying to plan a way that he could prove the others wrong about their views on him. And later on, doing all he could to help his son in trying to fix the mistakes he and Leaks ended up setting in motion.

5}: Saint Germain -Code: Realize

I can’t think of the words to put together why I love this man as a character so much... But, I can at least vouch for loving him based on the fact that his route was my favorite to play through. Added fun fact: his route is one of the few that’ve managed to actually make me cry a bit lol

6}: Shiraishi Kageyuki -Collar x Malice

Shiraishi I love because he’s a character I find fascinating, from learning about the deeper layer to him via backstory, to watching him grow as an actual person... Compared to someone who once viewed himself as little more than a doll, a being without his own emotions or true existence.

7}: Ukyo -Amnesia: Memories

Ukyo again gains his spot based on his route(s) being among my favorites in the game lol-- but again, also because i enjoy his complexities, and maybe because i slightly have a thing for fictional men who’re just a bit unhinged XD

8}: Cinderella -Dictatorial Grimoire

Coming from a series that i picked up more or less on a whim, after it was recommended to me at the bookstore one day-- Cinderella is a character i loved at first because of the impression he and the story as a whole gave me, but past that first impression, he grew on me over the course of things as i learned his layers. And somewhat, got to watch him grow-- However, i can’t deny also loving him thanks to the fact that he (like Ches) is an older rp muse of mine. So the memories from those adventures play a big hand in things too lol

9}: Angel Dust -Hazbin Hotel

Aside from loving Angel for the levels of chaos that is his personality, I also enjoy the glimpses of a deeper look we get at him... I guess to sum it up simply, I enjoy Angel because while I vibe with him a surface level, he’s also another case where seeing the bits of deeper layers to his character is fascinating to me.

10}: Blitzo -Helluva Boss

Honestly, I haven’t got much to say about Blitzo-- aside from the fact that like Angel Dust, I love him for the absolute chaotic energy lol

{Honorable Mentions: Giving these a separate section, so I can avoid doing repeats from the same source in the above list-- and below a cut so this post isn’t super long}

Impey Barbicane, Victor Frankenstein, & Cardia Beckford -Code: Realize

For Impey and Fran, my love is 100% born from a mix of their routes being tied and secondary favorites from the game, and simply from a love of their personalities-- meanwhile Cardia’s is mainly the latter, but also because i loved the experience of watching her grow throughout the game (plus, she also earns a sweet spot with me for being one of the few good VN heroines i’ve seen)

Asato -Lamento ~Beyond the Void~

Although his route wasn’t among my favorites in the game... mainly for one reason-- overall, i like Asato because i find him super sweet-- and because i feel like he had a lot of untapped potential that could be put to use.

Shizuma Ikushima & Itsuki Mito -Therapy Game/Therapy Game Restart & Secret xxx

Honestly, while i generally love all the cast from Meguru Hinohara’s works, including one i haven’t listed here-- it’s hard not to have that added soft spot for those closest to my top favorite from this little series lol

March Hare, Alice(?), & Jack/The Knave of Hearts -Are You Alice?

All I have to say is that I love way too many characters out of this manga's cast LOL-- But these three earn a special mention because, yet again, I adore their personalities... And for Alice(?), because I just find him interesting in general-- Jack meanwhile, earns added love thanks to the fact that I've written him as a muse in the past

Ikki -Amnesia: Memories

With Ikki's route being my second favorite from the game, it felt like a crime not to give him a spot somewhere in this list--

Snow White & Otogi Grim -Dictatorial Grimoire

Both Snow and Grim earn a spot here because aside from loving the cast of this manga in general, these two still win extra points for the fact that I adore their personalities lol

For the next few characters, I can't really think of anything to say about them, but-- I'd still like to list them anyway--

Sophie Hatter -Howl’s Moving Castle

Okazaki Kei -Collar x Malice

Isshiki Yasuhiro -Collar x Malice

Alastor -Hazbin Hotel

Stolas -Helluva Boss

#admin post #answered asks #i'm sorry this took me so long to answer aaaa-- #it sadly ended up buried in my drafts-- and i just now found it in me to finish up and post a reply ; w ;

[randoimago]

Unpopular opinion alert but I just wanted to get this off my chest but am I the only one who hates the "I can fix him" mentality we find in so many pieces of literature and in real life and in fanfiction like I don't want to be anybody's therapist or mother the only way a person can change themselves is if they want to through their own choices and will like the character you want to "fix" doesn't need love they need therapy or jail and some cases a ass whooping

Put the rest of it + my response under the cut!!

"Part 2 of my rant but I'm not trying to shame anybody who reads or writes and enjoys media like that you can like what you like it's fiction as long as you don't support or condone it IRL then it's fine you just need to be able to separate reality and fiction and know that type of mentality is what lands so many people in abusive relationships heck even I read/write stuff like that but I know that it's incredibly unhealthy and dangerous in real life

Part 3 like maybe it's just me but am I the only one who wants to embody this type of energy like I don't want fix you I want to be the one thing you fear so badly in your life that you change your morals and turn around your life so that you don't piss me of"

I mean, on one hand I understand having a favorite problematic character and wanting a good ending for them. But on the other hand, if that character is an asshole that's done awful things then I want karma to kick them in the ass.

I mean, luckily for me at least, I've only come across a handful of people that get too deeply attached to fictional characters that it's unhealthy. But I do know and have heard of how attached some people can get to fictional characters.

Idk about your last statement of wanting someone to be afraid of you and that's why they change (which kind of contradicts with your first message of "the only way a person can change themselves is if they want to through their own choices and will") just cause I can see the people that do confuse fiction and reality to use that as being the cause of the unhealthy relationship.

Idk, if a character is evil and messed up then I want them to stay evil and messed up. I want evil characters that are just evil characters. Redemption arcs are great now and then, but sometimes I just want a really good irredeemable villain.

#mod kat speaks #honeyandbiscuitandtea-cafe

[rainbowloliofjustice]

Hey bud my post was not saying i am more qualified than a therapist, just that my specific therapist legitimately got charges for how bad they fucked up in less trauma revealing way. My depression therapist commited malpractice in how bad they fucked up. I got a sexual trauma therapist as I recommended in the post. The post the vague as a depression specialist speaking on sexual trauma in general can go badly. It is a medical trauma issue I experienced please just asked questions next time.

Add- Legitimately don’t wanna sound angry just explaining that a post tagged “ medical trauma “ isnt just a weird misunderstanding its about medical trauma if you had questions regarding it you coulda asked instead of assuming it was petty stuff

--

You can discuss medical trauma and malpractice without blanket saying that using "fictionalized CSEM" is a terrible coping mechanism because CSEM is abuse. you cannot abuse person or character that does not exist. There are many therapists who engage in sex based trauma and therapy and promote using fictional content to cope because it isn't hurting anyone.

There's been literally decades of research into how fiction as a coping mechanism is good and the creation of fictional content even if you personally view it as "child porn" is harmless because it is fictional.

And more so, it doesn't qualify as child porn or CSEM because both of those things are abuse. You cannot write a story, draw a picture, etc. and produce CSEM. The production of CSEM is to abuse a child.

If its a bad coping mechanism for you personally? by all means, it can be. However, your experiences with using fiction to cope are not universal and to do so is harmful regardless of whether you have medical trauma or not.

Yeah doctors aren't infallible but that doesn't mean that they're always wrong just because you were the victim of medical malpractice nor does it erase the years of research that have been put into the topic/subject.

Like yeah engaging in NSFW kink or content as a minor can be harmful but that doesn't equate to fictional content being harmful overall. Just because your therapist advises against something for you personally does not mean that that is suddenly bad and therapists everywhere are bad for suggesting it. Especially considering there are many sex based and trauma therapists who encourage adult victims to cope and express their thoughts, feelings, etc. through various forms of media.

Oh and above all

as someone who had my nudes (which i guess is tech csem) spread around when i was a minor, you literally cannot, at all, ever equate the creation of fictional content to abusing a real, actual, living child

#rainbow answers #anon #ask #even tho i already figure who this is from #pro ship anti ship nonsense #you literally cannot #and yeah it wasn't a straman the tags had a breakdown of the shit wrong with your post #but i guess i'll go ahead and elaborate here #but if you really care about victims #stop equating the consumptiong of fictional content to self harm #or equating it to abusing a child #like just because someone writes some fucked up shit #doesnt mean they did fucked up shit to *person* #like the toxic people in my life didnt write fucked up shit #and regularly got onto me for doign it #wanna know what they did? #encouraged me to actually self harm more and not by reading fictional content #it was with a knife

[eldritchmochi]

b m u y ! letter ask game

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

i fully blame seize and gem for getting me on the shadowidomauk train, regardless of the teif personality. seize especially has me in a chokehold re: their lucien and essek combo in one of their fics, which i have not read nor do i even know if its been posted but they keep sending me snippets like MOCHI YOU WILL LOVE THIS IT HAS ALL* YOUR KINKS and by dog they're right (*it is not actually "all" this is impossible as i have Too Many Kinks but)

also gem's essek-owns-a-boujie-coffee-shop au that has shadowidomauk as end game is cute as shit im sorry gem that i haven't had the spoons to edit more (its so good aaa)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

i answered M with "ashton" over here in this post the other day but another character i would want to be friends withhhhhhhh hmmm lets say asterion. no i have not played the game but from the lore i have absorbed via cherry he is very much the kind of gay i would have fun having catty gossip with while also being the sort of rock for him to lean on and like..... not therapy him i hate being peoples therapist but the immovable object he can bounce trauma off and figure out How 2 People again. i think he would appreciate my bluntness and the way i set clear, explicit boundaries but am otherwise unflappable, and i would certainly appreciate his humour, and we can bond!! over the whole being ace as a result of trauma!! :D

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

answered U over here with ashton, kylo, and bucky over here but lets do it again!!

lets kick it off by going Old School with the Original Husbando ^TM: vash the stampede. you have no idea how jazzed i am about the new trigun anime (no i have not watched it i merely enjoy the smut on twitter) because vash is like, my og blorbo. did i have blorbos before? yes, kind of, but my Wants in a man* (*fictional character) had not yet developed so they were but proto-blorbos. vash tho... he has it all: tall pretty boy happy go lucky twink who is secretly Full Of Trauma but shoves it down super hard by being just so upbeat and goofy, and just really wants..... love and peace lmao. a lot of my blorbos historically have similar vibes in the "puts on an act to cover deep severe trauma" way lmao

next up: more anime i guess, but modern: i honestly super fucking love all might???? like SO MUCH he is such an interesting character and i desperately want to read fic of him grappling with his severe health issues alongside his image as a hero AND his mentoring of midoriya (preferably with that guud guud smut, but i have no clue who i'd ship him with, i only got two seasons in lmao). unfortunately, everything i like about him isnt even in cannon its just stuff that i, a cripple, can extrapolate from the worldbuilding and lil snippets we get of him but MAN i am o b s e s s e d

third!!! more comics: loki, specifically the agents of asgard loki. i am 100000% planning to cosplay that loki (i have the hair after all) and i am very excited because he is just so very Gender. it was the first time i saw a genderfluid character in mainstream media and his "i AM gender queer, i IDENTIFY as a bitch" like is something i quote constantly to describe my gender. also hes just such a dick who is obviously trying to do better and unlearn bad habits and god, i dont remember specifically what its about but he has a big fight with his earthside contact roommate buddy helper person over something and then comes crawling back and does this big speech where he talks about how he knows hes a fuck up but he's trying and he values her friendship so much even if he's been shit about showing it and it is chefs kiss

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

dragon age. just... i know so much vague dragon age lore from listening to cherry talk about it because it is their BIG love for video games (pending bg3..... not sure if itll overtake da but theyre very sad they cannot play it again til monday lmao). i absolutely instigated a convo with someone on okc asking if xyz thing was a da reference and i was rIGHT it secured me a date lmao

similarly, mass effect, batfam stuff, haunted mansion, nbc hannibal (dont ask me why its a fandom in law still i cannot explain), s8 infinity (???? i only know matcha blossom), the final fantasy mmo, taz......

you can ask me more of these letter questions!! i have much time to spare!! maybe!!!

#mochi rambles #mochi asks

[dummerjan]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better tagged by @saturnskyline thank you <333

Three Ships According to what criteria? I have a lot. The ones I have spent the most time thinking about this year are the KP couples. Talking more generally and outside of the BL genre: Sterek, Brian/Justin (QaF US), Hannigram. Though this is by no means an exhaustive list of my favourites.

First Ever Ship I don't really know what constitutes as a proper ship. The fictional relationships I was the most emotionally invested in during my early teens are probably from soap operas, e.g. Deniz/Roman (Alles was zählt), Ste/Brendan (Hollyoaks), Aaron/Jackson (Emmerdale). The one that got me into fandom and fanfiction is Jimmy/Thomas (Downton Abbey).

Last Song

I've listened to it daily over the past two weeks. It's grim and sad since it's about the war but also just as beautiful.

Last Movie Men & Chicken with Mads Mikkelsen, I think. Technically the Semantic Error movie edit, but I don't really count that as a proper movie.

Currently Reading Fanfiction wise, I am subscribed to a lot of WIPs, the one I have to catch up on is Outside Myself (Inside You). In terms of books I am slowly, oh so slowly, making my way through Buddenbrooks by Thomas Mann, which I am enjoying quite a lot but I keep getting distracted.

Currently Watching

Additionally, I am inconsistently rewatching KinnPorsche and more consistently rewatching the third season of Druck right now. When I need entertainment and can’t read subs, e.g. during cooking, I put on Arrested Development.

Currently Consuming so much KP fanfic

Currently Craving media wise? poly relationships!!! and more of Pete/Porsche food wise? Käsespätzle with lots and lots of caramelized onions emotionally? let’s save that for my next therapy session

tagging @baby-droll @fanfictionroxs @mvickym @blventingspace @tsukuyomi-selene (I know those aren't 9 people but I am sick and anxious right now. I've already made a phone call today, so that will have to do. Though anyone can consider themselves tagged. (I say as if I would ever consider myself tagged because surely they didn't inlcude me in that statement - but yes, you're also included.))

#meins #thank you :) i love tags i'll take any chance to ramble #playing tag