#She can be anything and any age

[silkflovvers]

hey miku is 16 jsyk!!

Anon, I'll be honest I'm not fully sure what your intentions are with this message… I've been in the Vocaloid, UTAU and Vsynth trenches since 2010. That may not be 16 years worth of time here, but it's still a long time to be a fan of one thing considering it's about half the time I've been alive. So that means I'm going to impart some knowledge here that newer Vocaloid and Miku fans may not understand (Especially anyone coming to my account after being introduced to Miku through Project Sekai).

Miku is, by all definition, an instrument. A voicebank is an instrument. It is a tool used to create music. The only thing that truly sets her apart from other electronic instruments or music making software is that she has a 2D mascot assigned to her to make her more marketable. That mascot was meant to be 16, yes. I will not deny that fact. Her voice bank even turned 16 years old this year since she was released way back in 2007! Happy 16 years of physical existence to your original disc-based software, Miku! So her Mascot associated as the face of the voicebank is 16 in both her physical age since launch and what's included in her original bio in that software and on the Yamaha website. If you wanted to say she was 16 years old at birth, then she'd actually be 32 years old this year if she actually aged. But her mascot doesn't age, just like all mascots of goods and brands do not age (Except for the Planter's Peanut guy I guess???). If this was a character from an anime that was always portrayed as a 16 year old and never anything else ever, it would be different. But only the 2D mascot tied to the voicebank and used as a marketable image is 16.

Now here's the part where saying she's always 16 years old all the time no matter what makes you look a little silly.

As an instrument and voicebank, Miku has been used to tell stories and fill roles much different from the bio of her software mascot. She's a medium to tell stories through, just like human voices are! She is whatever the person using her to tell a story wants her to be. This could be the VocaloP, the illustrator, or even the person creating the music videos deciding her age. Sometimes she's used as the stand-in voice for the person using her to tell the story, perhaps because they themselves aren't confident in their singing ability or wish to remain anonymous like in PowaPowaP's songs. Sometimes she is just her default voicebank self like in KIRA's Digital Girl. More often than not, she's portrayed as an original character the person using her made up in their head like she is used in mothy_悪ノP's The Evillious Chronicles. She can be anything.

She's literally the target demographic for those unpaid internship listings on job app websites that ask for 30 years experience in the field before you should even consider applying for the internship. Those aren't targeted at you, those employers want Hatsune Miku. Obviously.

That said, I don't think it's fair to apply the default voicebank mascot info to her if the person using her voice or image says otherwise.

If we really want to be picky here, the Kagamine voicebanks are even younger than Miku according to their software mascot info (15 years old), but VocaloPs wasted absolutely no time using Len to sing songs like SPICE! and Gigantic O.T.N. and Rin to sing songs like Alluring Secret ~ Black Vow ~. They were both used to sing songs like Corrupted Flower and if you also want to count violence as a mature theme here, Karakuri Burst. Does that mean they're 15 years old in any of those songs? I don't know. The person who wrote the song or the person who made the art for the music video might know, but I definitely don't. I also don't have the right to decide that specific bit of info for them since I am just the viewer.

The case is the same for the special Pokemon collab "What if Miku was a _type trainer?" series. I'm not the illustrator of each of the Trainer Mikus, so I don't know anything other than what they look like, just like the rest of the general public. The only people who have the right to decide the canon age of the Pokemon trainer Mikus are the people who illustrated her (and maybe whoever was directing the collab in the first place). Not me, not you dear anon, and not even KEI, the original illustrator and character designer for the mascot of the voicebank known as Hatsune Miku have the right to decide the age of the Trainer Mikus. The people actively telling a story with Miku are the ones who decide who she is, where she is, and what she is. Until we are told the Trainer Mikus illustrators' exact intentions, ages are up for interpretation and no one's interpretation is a cold hard fact.

The only times the person using the software or image of the mascot can't choose what age the character is are when there are specific rules listed in the software manual or on the official website. As an example, I'm about 98% sure the voicebank for Kaai Yuki has restrictions for what types of songs she can be used in since the voice providers for the voicebank were actual children. That's the only exception I am personally aware of within the official Vocaloid brand voicebanks by Yamaha. There may be non-Yamaha voicebanks, UTAUs and VSynths with similar restrictions that I am unaware of.

Now that you've been given a small history lesson on voicebanks and the fact they're used to tell stories as all instruments are, I'll give a more personal reply.

If your ask was sent in response to me tagging the Dark type Trainer Miku art with "I'm gay" in my reblog, you may be taking Tumblr and social media as a whole a little too seriously. Dark type Miku is pretty and I love dark type Pokemon and trainers, always have. I've been a Mawile fan since the Pokemon was still considered a Dark-Steel type and it took me a very long time to stop being upset when they switched Mawile to a Fairy-Steel type. Anyway, if we're being honest, I wish I looked like Dark Type Miku. This is the response of a nonbinary lesbian desperately wishing they could look as good as Dark Type Miku. I'm not lusting after her, I'm not lewding her. I just wish I was as hot as she is in this artwork.

If you don't agree with anything I've said in my reply to this ask, then please do not continue to make yourself uncomfortable by interacting with me or my social media accounts. Please block me if you must! I highly recommend blocking accounts and muting tags that make you uncomfy! I do it all the time! It's the only way to stay sane on social media, aside form simply not using social media.

#txt #silkflovversask #I'm not really sorry for the whole essay but I nor you have any right to decide what age Dark Type Trainer Miku is #That's up to the people in charge of her design and the collab to decide not the fans #Miku will always be an instrument and storytelling medium at her core #I've literally seen Miku be Russian Ronald McDonald #She can be anything and any age #anyway I miss project diva when she was still a voicebank and not an idol

[sieglinde-freud]

thinking about fire emblem fates again which always means im thinking about them again help me

#one day u will all wake up. until then… #fe nyx #fe laslow #fe14 #fe shitpost #fire emblem #i do think it would be funny if nyx was actually just in her forties or something #ik the implication in game is that she’s much older cuz she talks like a grandma #in my head ive always placed her more at like 60-70 #but also she got cursed when she was pretty young and do you know how arrogant young people are about age. #when ur twenty anything above 28 is grandma #source: me (KIDDING IM KIDDING IM KIDDING IM KIDDING) #yall are young!! okay!!!! #like wouldnt it be funny if this whole time she was only like 42 and just really dramatic about it #‘back in my day’ and ur day is just like the first blackberry phone #ugh. i miss her :( #i can play fates at any time and i regularly use her in heroes but i miss her

[obessivedork]

Was.... that supposed to be the end of FO4? 😐 Like once you've blown up the Institute you get this random nostalgic slideshow that has nothing to do with ANYTHING and that's it? You beat the game! Good for you! But we'll place you back into the world to keep playing I fucking guess? What's going to happen to your friends and The Commonwealth with all the decisions you made?😐 Don't ask us! Not like we're going to make an RPG with the infamous RPG IP, that would be silly!

#DOES ANYTHING I DID FUCKING MATTER BESIDES THE FACTION I WENT WITH TO MAKE THE INSTITUTE GO BOOM???? #What in the HELL????? #I have literally NEVER been more underwhelmed with an ending in my LIFE. #At least 3 showed slides for A COUPLE things I did!!!!!!!! #Hell! When fucking Dragon Age Inquisition managed to make their vanilla pre-dlc'ed ending feel better than yours that is a PROBLEM #because that is the SECOND worst ending to a game I've ever played #& I know I said Mike took the parts to the Minutemen but I couldn't convince myself doing that made sense #the railroad and brotherhood both make sense. they have people who can figure those parts out! The minutemen... do not #I'm so MAD I put HOURS into this game 😭😭😭 I love the Fallout series SO MUCH why is ANY level of compotent storytelling #ASKING TOO MUCH???? 😭 #almost 10 years late to the party but. MAN. Like the rest of the game is DECENT!!! it has flaws of course every thing ever made does #but I had SOME fun!! But like.... Bethany.... Miss Bethany Esda an ending that feels GOOD is a VERY important part of games PERIOD #YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT #kat plays FO4 #fallout #FO4 #with all this said yes I AM immediately starting again to play a F SS and make her more chaotic and mean. Mikey was my standard #agressively paragon good wholesome cinnamonbun run. Next character? Oh man she will cause problems ON PURPOSE

[allthatwas]

WHAT'S IN A NAME?‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎THAT WHICH WE CALL A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD SMELL AS SWEET...‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(REGENERATION AU).

she got the life she wanted,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎in theory.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎settled down with the non-doctor‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(john tyler,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎he took her last name),‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎worked at torchwood,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎everything was alright.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they grew old,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they were happy,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎they were what she needed.

john died‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎it felt like her life shattered,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎the kind of pain that the doctor talked about when she was younger,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎the pain of loss that she couldn't even imagine back in the prime universe.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎when she lost john,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she felt for the doctor immediately because the one comfort she had was that she too would go with him.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎|‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎it didn't feel as she thought it would.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she had expected things to go cold,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎slowly fickle out,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but as she was laying in her house,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎waiting for her time to come,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she felt warm,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎hot,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎pain.

it happened quicker than she could've imagined,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ a quick yelp‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she closed her eyes only to awake with her room on fire,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎her heart racing,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎her chest aching,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎everything feeling wrong.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎that's the thing about aging,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎every change is minuscule‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎small so you slowly grow used to it...‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎this change was quick,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎brutal,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎left rose with an energy she hadn't felt in years.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎quick to get up,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎quick to grab some things‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(john's jacket she left on their desk chair,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎a photo of them from when they were younger,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎a picture of her mum‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎&‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎dad).‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎on the way out,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she froze momentarily,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎catching herself in the mirror that sat right by their front door as a way to ensure they looked alright before going to work‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(something john forgot without any reminders).

she didn't look like herself.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she looked nineteen,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but not like the nineteen year old she once was.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she was different,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she regenerated.

tldr:‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎the time vortex altered rose's genes in which she can age,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but regenerates,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎as if the time vortex is snapping the telomeres back into the place they recall,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but messing up the genetic sequencing as it goes.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎she can keep getting old,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎in one body,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎but the moment that body gives out,‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎it returns her back to 19 again.

#v : a rose by any other name. #i gotta think of how she CAN die #but i think basically if there's anything unnatural to her heart #outside of old age #the process stops #anyways this is purely self indulgent so #who wants to indulge with me

[nyaskitten]

Lloyd vs. Avatar Harumi has done irreparable damage to me !!!

#like the way that he still thinks there's a chance with her would make sense here !!! he thinks he can fix her !!! #he hasnt seen her since her death so he has faith in her being able to change !! #but then in crystalized its like. he shouldnt trust and try to appeal to the person organizing a council of villains to destroy shit #like theres such an interesting contrast between the way they wrote Avatar Harumi and Lloyd vs. Harumi and Lloyd #it works in s12 bc like I said before he hasn't seen her in ages and the last time he saw her she was like soo helpless and like #she was scared too #so the first chance he gets to see her again itd make sense hed try to appeal to her a bit more #and it makes sense that she would blame him for dying to the bulding because shes a simulation based on lloyd's own feelings #ofc hed feel guilt for 'letting her die'. #that DOESNT work in s15 tho bc she KNEW he was too far to do anything at all #ninjago #raine's rambles #hoipe this makes ANY sense at all..

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

oughh......

#laya plays dragon age #da2 #oc: liam hawke #this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that #but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH. #i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok #bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years #years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard #and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left #and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it #varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home #drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother #and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life #and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision #but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings #and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade #and he cant do it #and he hates it so much. but he wont do it. #and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways #if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands #as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even #the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it #but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too #if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more #''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me #dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more #or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever #anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again

[wild-at-mind]

Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.

#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me #i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu #to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately. #i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked #but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago #so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer #and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones' #who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get #she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is #that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist #i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry) #and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because #i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'( #like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy #of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with #i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless #but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it

[ehlnofay]

I've been having fun dipping into martin's perspective lately... it's helping me flesh out my interpretation of him and he never fails to be suffering tremendously in a way that is excellent to write

#whenever I get to mention pax from his pov I go HEEHEEHOOHOO like a giggling little beast of a child #their dynamic is. so fucked up kind of. but in a subtle enough way that pax #(who routinely addresses traumatised middle aged men's sad little angst moments by giving them stolen food) #(and does not know any other way to cope with anything ever) #doesn't ever really register it #but martin spends the whole time going 'oh god oh fuck jesus fucking christ that is a small child. and that is a horse.' #'and I am going to cope by projecting onto the horse. and I am in a very cold mountain house. and this is hell. fuck.' #'and we sent the small child into actual hell. again. and she's way too excited about this. and nobody has any concerns.' #'and the child is threatening to die for me. uncomfortably common as of late. and all I can do to protect the child #is keep my sad middle aged angst in my head. and hope that he doesn't actually die. fuck. everything is awful' #and pax is not perceptive enough to realise just how much he's holding back in an effort to shield them from the only thing he can (himself #and then they die (more or less) and nothing is ever resolved! the end!!! #someone talk to me about them I love them so much. blease and thank you #oc tag #pax #martin septim

[thaliagrayce]

just saw the barbie movie and honestly i can't believe there aren't more posts about Gloria??? like i understand that it was The Barbie Movie and Barbie is the main character and it's About Her, but it's only about her because it's actually deep down about Gloria

#mj talks #barbie 2023 #i don't know i just think that Gloria was the actual heart and center of the movie #a woman felt so out of place in her own life and left behind by the passage of time #that these feelings brought to life and forever changed someone in another dimension #like. Gloria's loneliness is the only reason any of this happened #and her love and kindness and continued grasp on hope is why anything got solved #yes barbie had an incredible transformation and you love to see it! #but can we please talk about Gloria? #the woman who still has enough childlike wonder in her to keep a barbie at her desk #the woman who makes up funny ironic dolls to deal with her own overwhelming emotions #the woman who hears that barbie is real and IMMEDIATELY decides she needs to help her #i loved the moment when she said she was going to help barbie because she wanted to! #because she never gets anything she wants anymore and this is something she wants to do! #YES we are going with barbie to barbieland. NO i am not going to feel ashamed about it. #Gloria shows that we don't have to be ashamed of our interests and our femininity as we age #keep that childlike sense of wonder! hold on to that imagination! #idk i just had a lot of feelings about gloria

[corvidclub]

Ok so ik that fanfiction often requires characters to act ooc but I've seen multiple (tbf like 3) accidental pregnancy fics in the bear tag....and I just want to have my own 'he wouldn't fucking say that moment' and say that there is not a single universe in which Sydney Adamu would ever carry an unwanted pregnancy to term. If the concept of abortion didn't exist my girl would invent it to not have to do that shit lol.

#like carrying her flaky coworker/boss's baby as a starless 20 something chef living with her dad? no way could that ever be her #I don't even necessarily view syd as consciously childfree or anything #more like kids literally cannot and will not exist in her mental conception until she has achieved her chef goals and owns property #also like ik ppl generally portray syd as the somewhat normal one while carm is completely detached from normalcy #but I think he's wayyy better with kids than syd is like #his childhood was obviously terrible but he grew up with siblings and all the neighborhood kids like claire tiff and the faks #so I think he has some mental conception of standard kid things even if basic/dated like ketchup and ghostbusters #whereas syd just had her dad and maybe grandparents and probably felt the need to grow up super fast after her mom died #and was the precocious and responsible kid that teachers loved but the other kids thought was weird/annoying #and has no idea what is normal for any given age #like don't get me wrong carm is also bad at taking care of kids due to being seemingly the youngest in the entire family until eva #but I think he can tell the difference between like a 5 vs a 8 year old whereas syd cannot #the bear #m.text

[dbphantom]

maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...

#when i was in middle school i used to use red and black pens + spit for blending to make it look like the backs of my hands were torn open #i can't believe it's almost 4am. i just spent 5 hours typing up an essay about MM's erik that i just fuckin privated bc i was embarrassed #AND I STILL NEVER SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAAA #i was right but im going to save all my points for the fanfic im currently planning out and promptly NEVER GOING TO ACTUALLY WRITE #I say shoving my plans for my h2o s3 rewrite off the table #yes i skipped from s2 to s3 i had a BRILLIANT idea [season 3 h2o spoilers ahead be wary my mutuals who are still watching] #okay so you know how lewis goes to the american institute of marine bio in the middle of 3? since this is tied to my s2 rewrite fic i wante #to actually finally reasonably re-introduced dr denman to the story because i never liked that she just fucked off at the end of s1 #despite WITNESSING the moon pool magic. so i made it so she runs into lewis while doing a presentation for the college and they have a chat #(because her JAW paper plays an important part in my s2 rewrite bc i imagine lewis is the kind of guy who SAYS he deleted every copy of #it... but ACTUALLY he secretly printed himself out a copy to study in private to compare to his own notes bc #[lewis voice] come *on* guys just THINK of the progress that he could make with this! [grabby hands in front of chest]) #so yeah they have a chat and Linda kind of gives Lewis the opposite dilemma in s3 that Louise gives him in s1 about science and magic #since SHE knows about the moon pool and has been biding her time and she knows Lewis knows and Lewis is like ah... uh oh. #it will eventually tie into the idea it's not about forcing science and magic together or separating them #its abt respectfully and responsibly utilizing both to see their fullest potential. which lewis learned in s2 and Linda has... not. #BUT #later on she gets a call from 1 (one) ryan who is like 'hey so i heard u did environmental studies on mako for dr bennett a couple years ag #and i was wondering if you've seen anything weird there as im currently doing a-' and she's immediately like 'YOU SON OF A BITCH IM IN' #and he's like 'wha-' and she's like 'i have already booked my plane tickets we're going to have a great time we have lots to talk about :)' #and wheeee now they have someone who knows about mermaids on their team and it's the perfect way to bring lewis back to relevancy in s3 :D #it also gives me reason to have two bad bitches (linda and sophie) meet and get to know each other which is not a dynamic ive seen in #any of the H2O fics i've ever read so im very hyped to delve into how they'll play off each other #also charlotte is there so technically three bad bitches (only in my au Charlotte never lost her tail and is part of the gang she just move #because she felt like she needed to leave to really be able to find herself without being in her grandmother's shadow but she comes back bc #well... it's season 3 mako is sounding the fucking emergency alarms everyone is showing up sdkghkfjhg) #im also so so so hyped to show u guys who's coming back in the s2 rewrite because it ISNT denman and i think everyone thinks it will be :3c #(i said she when telling ppl to look forward to a familiar face... but can u blame me for getting hype she's one of my favorite characters! #i love u H2O #cruddy rambles

[airbenderedacted]

deathstar shippers stop going out of ur way to tell me you hate dominator being a lesbian and that you’re homophobic asf challenge (impossible, apparently)

#(cw: put under a read more for homophobia & transphobia 😬) #LITERALLY went ''lemme say the quiet part out loud'' BRO THIS IS LIKE THE 6TH(????) TIME I'VE HAD SUCH AN ENCOUNTER #except i will say that this is the first time it wasn't unprovoked. i did @ them first to ask why they were leaving replies on my posts- #-saying hater's crush on dominator is creepy bc they 'look like they have an age gap' meanwhile they've liked AND MADE #-comments elsewhere shipping her with men that are way WAY older than her and sometimes visibly so like. hater and her are the same agegroup #so i was like. what is going on here huh??? ANFD THEN THEY JUST SAY THIS SHIT why am i ever surprised anymore lmao #shout out to this person for adding transphobia to their shittiness for Spice ig /s 🙄 eugh... #i should've seen it coming bc they were referencing a page on the woy wiki THAT USES STEVENSON'S CORRECT NAME & PRONOUNDS #AND YET THEY WERE ADAMANT ON USING HIS DEADNAME AND SHE/HER PRONOUNS LIKE.. I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS I SHOULD'VE EXPECTED THIS but still 🤢 #i dont ever wanna stop giving ppl the benefit of the doubt but oh my god do These people test me. every time. goes like this Every Single T- #on god only like twice or smthn have i seen [REDACTED] shippers be like.. very decent to me and literally just ignorant #and they were from here and i just ask them to not interact bc it makes me uncomfortable and they're like i dont get it but ofc #and i never see them again #AND THEN EVERY OTHER PERSON WHO IS INTO THIS SHIT I HAVE *EVER* COME ACROSS #FUCKING JUST... JUMPS INTO MY MENTIONS OUT OF NOWHERE. LITERALLY I DONT EVEN?? DO ANYTHING I DONT GO NEAR THEM BRO #THEY FUCKING SNIFF ME OUT OR SOME SHIT FOR HAVING A DNI ON OTHER SITES AND GO #''OH SO YOU THINK I'M WRONG FOR HAVING TO REIMAGINE GAY/LESBIAN CHARACTERS AS STRAIGHT SO I CAN ENJOY THEM?'' LIKE- WTF? YES? IT IS #also i kid you not this is an actual thing someone has gone out of their way to look me up and yell at me over for like an hour straiught #on twitter. it was unhinged. like they were convinced straight ppl are oppressed any time gay characters exist #bc gay characters existing makes them unlikable and unrelatable and unconsumable to straights like damn ok if u feel that way die abt it? #it's just so unhinged like bruh GO AWAY LMAO??? SHUT UP! I DONT CARE LITERALLY JUST KEEP UR FREAK BIGOT SHIT TO URSELF GET OUT #again that specifically doesn't apply to this person who technically WAS @ by me first bc i was like.. hey... hey what's going on here HUH #but oh my god they turn out to be vocally homophobic every single time. i was always hoping i was like... #over generalizing these people as being fucking homophobic just bc 1) the vibes r always like that 2) it's faster to say #BUT OH MY GOD THEY REALLY ARE HOMOPHOBIC AS A WHOLE WHAT THE FUCK I LITERALLY ALWAYS WENT OUT OF THE WAY TO BE LIKE aint no way ahah BUT NO? #BRO???? GET OUT OF HERE THIS SHOW IS NOT FOR YOU Y'ALL ARE CREEPS #THEY FEEL SO EMBOLDED TO SAY THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD EVERY SINGLE TIME WITHOUT PROMPTING. I ALWAYS MAKE FUCKING SURE TO NOT ACCUSE BIGOTRY #AT MOST I'LL JUST BE LIKE yeah so straightwashing is a thing that's homophobic so don't do that IF ANYTHING. I NEVER CALL THE PERSON THAT #AND EVERY TIMEEEE THEY JUST GO MASK OFF WITH ''BTW I DONT LIKE THE GAYS'' I OEIUFKGEJRHGUKJDFS EVERY TIME EVERY TIME WTFFFFF #usually being right about things is epic. not this THIS IS JUST.. GWORLS WHAT HE FUCK

[cantankerouscatfish]

like 300 years after I said I would, I am making roasted roots with intent to give some to a coworker who's never had such a thing. I didn't have turnips, so it's only carrots/potato/parsnip mix with olive oil and spices. but that's okay.

#I need to get beets for her too. fresh ones to boil. not canned. #I'll eat canned any day but like. the point is to be all ✨ at her about vegetables #apparently her sister lives almost exclusively on cheetos. bc she can order them in bulk. #we were like 'she can order anything in bulk. why cheetos and nothing else?' 'Iunno.' ok. #ma'am u are middle aged. please eat a vegetable.

[foxgirlmoth]

I don't talk about this stuff on here pretty much at all, but a past relationship really broke a ton of bits and pieces of my brain and heart in weird ways (I'm finally thinking about him almost never but the shit he pulled was abusive as hell and still affects me sometimes). Being in love with my current girlfriends for a while felt almost. Painful? Almost like I should be ashamed I can fall so deeply in love with people, and especially how quickly that can happen sometimes too. Thats how it kind of felt. I tend to get overwhelmed with emotions if I'm feeling them very strongly, and that has been extremely embarrassing and also felt almost like I was being a burden to those I love (which love is the main emotion that can 'get dialed up to 11' for me). It IS debilitating in some ways!!! It hasn't gotten bad enough I've been nonverbal in a really really long time but that happened this past week and it was wild to me.

Things are getting better now though! Therapy in the past has helped, and honestly having such patient and understanding partners has made a world of difference ;w;. my wife is someone who was one of my best friends and I had a huge crush on and now I can ask for cuddles and we can nap together and I've fallen so much in love. Her and her presence are literally heaven for me, I don't know if anything has ever made me happier than just laying next to her and feeling her warmth.

Worries of course flare up and I feel like I need to lean on her a lot during those moments, but I don't feel like too much of a burden to her. I love seeing the posts that say stuff like 'Its okay to be a burden' or 'its okay to be annoying' because really truly I think I need to be those things to survive sometimes. I can be 'a lot' and I can be a little bit obsessive and those things aren't inherently bad or evil of me. I just make sure I'm feeling okay during and after and make sure I'm checking in on myself often. I'm a bit of a broken girl, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely happy and living a life I love. I've written poems and everything about how it feels like it must hurt to love me and my broken jagged edges, but hey, even if it does a little bit, it doesn't mean someone like my girlfriend/wife won't go through a little bit of burden to love me, and I'm more than happy to return all of this and more for her as well if she's ever in need or feels broken ;^;

#Not to be too gay but I wanna build my life with my princess more and more #She's. So good to me and she's so pretty and she's so beautiful and attentive and she listens to me in ways I feel no one else has #She understands me so well!! And I hopefully make her feel the same #But yeah I've been a burden a lot to people due to autism (which I didn't know I had for fucking ages) adhd and physical disabilites #And she feels like she isn't taking care of me which is good because I'd honestly hate that #But she understands me and makes me a better person and that's exactly what I've wanted for forever. #And being demi/aspec is awesome with her since she's aspec too and there's no pressure for sex or sexy times but if we both want it #It can still be super fun!! We gotta figure more of that stuff out if we want but knowing each others kinks (and sharing a good bit) rocks #Idk its so so so so easy to love my wife Maxie #She's so dear to me and we've only been dating for 4 months but they've been 4 months I've felt the most alive and seen #Its so easy to be cringe but free with her too idk #She makes me better and I hope I do the same for her. I don't want either of us to stagnate yknow? #But anyways yeah this is just a big journal entry of some kind I might do these every once and a while #Not to like. Brag??? I guess. Or show my mental illness so much. Its just kind of nice if friends know where I'm at in my life I guess #And idk having outside input on thoughts can be good. If any friends see this and go 'Hey Runa this is real weird maybe tone it down' #I can look at that stuff a bit more #Gonna tag this in a way I can find it and others in the future too #Runa diary logs #But yeah you're not hearing this from me but I wanna be with Maxine for the foreseeable future more than anything. #Gotta get my degree and a good job too and she's ofc not the only person in my life (I have Sara who is so very dear to me too ;w;) #Nor is she the only 'goal' I have either. I wanna make games I wanna make art. I wanna make something that other trans people #And queer people and just minorities in general can look at or play or experience and just go. Life is worth living #I love my life right now and I'm so glad I've made it to my late 20's. #Its only uphill from here :3 #Wanna add on when I say she's not the only person in my life I mean that I have so many friends and people I love who love me too :3 #♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[rogersstevie]

one thing about me is even if i hated the book i just read i will still be defending the main character while all the goodreads reviewers go on about how whiny and selfish she is

#hi do you not understand she was 18 and did not get to figure out her own identity before becoming the wife of a grown man #do you not understand how postpartum works lol like she did a bad thing leaving the kid for a few months #but like. definitely worse things a struggling mother can do! #like she was doing all that with zero support because neither of them were connected to their parents at that point #and she didn't get to make any friends because as soon as she came into this city she got pulled into his life #and he's certainly not helping because he's always working and he thinks she has it so easy being with a baby all day #even though he absolutely DOES see how impossible it is to calm the kid and YET #and even when she leaves and he has to do shit himself and sees firsthand he still doesn't acknowledge it much #anyway that was a dumb book but it's like i always go looking to reviews for validation on not liking it and i see that shit #and i'm just like no no she was not the issue #it's literally like.........so many books i read where a woman is Going Through It #and is somehow expected to just be graceful and perfect all the time both within the book and by readers??? like what are y'all on #being rightfully unhappy about your situation does not make you whiny even when you're in the wrong sometimes you need to complain! damn! #and also she rarely did complain that's why she had to just leave because if she had said anything to her husband #about her struggles he would have dismissed her and told her to wait it out #god. i think it was very weird that i didn't see mention of the age difference in other reviews #literally. just graduated high school. he is 28. i'm just.

[shekeepsmeworms]

Had some wine feeling good made a really shitty bowl in ceramics class this morning that I’m really worried has a bunch of air holes in it and had a really crappy therapy session where I didn’t talk too much but was honest about some other stuff which is good overall I guess but now I’m doing drunk crochet and watching the Duggar family documentary and probably going to stop watching soon once they start talking about the awful stuff but yeah day in the life of a woman doing her best I guess

#like both sides of my family are either Irish catholic. converted assimilation catholic. or part Jewish but raised catholic. #but my mom read the Boston glob report so I wasn’t baptized or anything and despite her born again phase I’ve never really been religious #so the thought of growing up in that environment is like I can’t imagine the pressure oh my god #like I’ve had Mormon friends and have some friends who were raised homeschool Christian married young and all and like #i don’t know it’s just wild how different our lives are like I’ve got a problems and def inherited the guilt complex thing for sure but like #I also never got told to submit to anyone or that god was watching #or to be modest or any of the purity stuff beyond normal patriarchy stuff #like I’m not saying my life is better but I didn’t do church after age 5 and only go to funeral masses so I like the comfort of like #doing sign of cross and saying Hail Mary and all bc it provides structure for grief but beyond that I can’t imagine living with all of that #these are very long tags with no real point beyond wow. that’s literally bananas to me. but did I mention I’m a little drunk #and even then my family isn’t like hardcore catholic. my grandma and her siblings skipped church to get donuts bc no farm work on Sunday #and my dad grew up like doing fasted mass and everything but heard the 2000s Harvey milk speech and realized gay ppl are okay #and then rest of extended dads side is like catholic but vote blue and think human rights are good and all #my mom has a student who’s like very traditional catholic like she was trying to teach him math and whatever #and the live coverage of waiting for pope confirmation was on tv the whole time #and he fights with her about evolution and learning about the existence of other religions and everything #so I guess even in my own family like. everyone’s down with basic science and civil liberties which is even weirder for me I guess #like not even among fundamentalists like just regular Catholics I’ve had a pretty liberal upbringing re faith. it’s just wild to me #to see the differences of worldview #and even non religion stuff was pretty liberal overall despite living in pretty red area. idk it’s just wild how different life can be