#Reckoning Tehachapi | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

katieaki · 3 days

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, the second part, here, and the third part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here! Lou really flexes her incredible acting skills in this one. I guarantee you'll be impressed. We also get some teen content, if only just a little. Close readers who've also read my other work may also be rewarded with an accent-related detail that says something about another irritable country dyke in my lineup.

Read the update for free on my patreon & vote on what happens next! Excerpt below the cut.

“Are you from like, Travertine, Devil’s Elbow, Cloverleaf way?” Artie asked, gesturing with three fingers to indicate the cluster of towns. They were barely towns, really, more like loosely grouped homes, farms, and rural industry that were large enough to each have their own shrine, pantry, schoolhouses, and Pony Express stations, but not much more.

“Yeah,” Lou said, surprised into letting the ‘curse’ talk lie. “How did you know?”

“Your accent,” she said.

“I don’t have an accent,” Lou said. She involuntarily covered her mouth with her hand. “Y’all have accents.”

“Wait, don’t tell me which one. Let me guess,” Artie said, excited. She pushed her hair out of her face and thought hard for a moment. “Okay. What does a bird lay?”

“An egg?” Lou said.

“‘Aig’,” Artie repeated.

“That’s— that's not what I sound like,” Lou protested.

Artie ignored her and continued. “The feeling when you wanna go to sleep?”

“Sleepy,” Lou said. She knew what Artie was trying to get her to say, but she didn’t want to play along anymore. Artie was having too much fun with it and Lou was beginning to feel cross-grained.

“Come on,” Artie said, looking over the top of her new, cursed sunglasses at her.

“Tired,” Lou said, begrudgingly.

“‘Tarred,’” Artie repeated.

“Okay, stop making fun of me,” Lou said. “I get it. I’m country as a turnip green.”

“I’m not making fun. I’m investigating,” she said. “Besides, I like it. Your accent. And I like turnip greens.”

Lou didn’t say anything, just lifted her hat, smoothed her sweaty hair back, and put it back on her head. They were quiet for a while and Lou hoped Artie had decided not to pursue the question any further.

“The thing you write with? The ink one?” Artie said finally, with a little smile.

Lou heaved a heavy sigh and glared at her. She just smiled back, looking at her with those huge, dark eyes. “Pen,” she said, finally.

“‘Pin’,” Artie repeated, visibly delighted that Lou was still playing along. “Cloverleaf?”

Lou’s eyebrows raised involuntarily. How did she know that? “You had a one in three chance,” Lou huffed.

Artie leaned back with a big grin. Lou instinctively looked away from her teeth. “Anyway, don’t be embarrassed about being a country girl. Johnny Knives is inaka, too.”

“How did you know?” Lou asked.

“About you? I don’t know. I’ve been all over the place and I like hearing people talk. And my dad is from near Travertine,” Artie said. “I guess, me too, but. It’s complicated. Anyway, you got a stronger accent than her. So it was easy. I feel like the pin-pen thing is so Cloverleaf. Oh, and how you say golly like that all the time. ‘Gol-lee’. Very Cloverleafian.”

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katieaki · 19 days

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wolf girl/horse girl relations it's lonesome out on the trail instagram | twitter

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katieaki · 19 days

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, the second part, here, and the third part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

Read it for free on my patreon and vote on what happens next! Excerpt below the cut.

She wasn’t so soothed and medicated that she didn’t thrash in panic when someone woke her by covering her eyes with one hand and gripping her injured arm firmly above the elbow with the other.

“Easy, dude, it’s just me,” Artie said.

“What—“

“I have a surprise for you,” she said.

She released Lou’s arm and, still covering her eyes, helped her to her feet. The hand over Lou’s eyes smelled strongly of citrus. Lou had no concept of where she was as Artie led her along. She hadn’t been particularly present as they were making camp and the white noise of the river, the weed, and her lingering sleep disoriented her worse. She reached out and gripped Artie’s belt and the top of her jeans at her hip for stability.

“I made you dinner,” Artie said. “For your birthday. A birthday dinner. Belated. A belated birthday dinner. It’s a regular dinner, too, but, if we just think about it like a birthday dinner, it can be a birthday dinner— a little party. You don’t have to be too festive, I know you’re tired—“

“For gods’ sake, just let her see already!” Holliday interrupted, pushing Artie’s hand away from Lou’s face.

“Hey, come on, man,” Artie said, disappointed.

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katieaki · 2 months

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, the second part, here, and the third part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

Two girls stay in camp to do mean girls sleepover activities and one girl runs out into the wastes to scream herself hoarse. Bet you'll never guess who!

Read it for free on my patreon and vote on what happens next! Excerpt below the cut.

Holliday clicked her tongue in disappointment. “You were supposed to take one for the team,” she said.

“I don’t know where in tarnation you got the impression that we’re a team from,” Lou said. She held up a finger. “And if we are a team, I’ve taken a hell of a lot. More than my fair share. Why don’t you get out there and ask the Knife Church cannibal what happened to her?”

“I wouldn’t like to be impolite,” Holliday said.

“Me neither!” Lou objected.

“Please, Lou, since when?” Holliday asked.

Lou scoffed. “‘Since when’ back at yourself! Sakes alive,” Lou said. “Listen, help me undo my chaps, will you? I’ve had a mite of trouble doing up buckles and buttons and tying knots and riding and eating and sleeping and wiping my own ass since taking a real big one for the team. Remember that? The real, real big, Artie-shaped big one I took for the team? Our team, right?” She gestured between herself and Holliday.

“You could lay it on a little less thick,” Holliday said. Still, she removed her own bandana, unfolded it, and laid it on the dirty ground to kneel on so she could undo Lou’s chaps.

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katieaki · 3 months

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Pony Express, my LONG-RUNNING serial lesbian cowgirl-mailman interactive fiction project has just finished part 3 & will quickly roll on into part four in a few days.

I know I'm always saying this with glistening hope in my heart, but if you've fallen behind, if you're new here, or if you've been trying to bully a friend into reading Pony Express, now is an excellent time to get/get them onboard! A thorough summary AND the entire text of part three (and two...and one) are available on my patreon! for free! BUT I will also write the world's most micro summary here. It'll get you the very basic info if you're the kind of person who's willing to hop right in to a journey in progress:

Lou Primrose (30 years old, 5'0", illiterate, hardworking, 3x rodeo champion) is a rider for the Pony Express, the Wasteland's mail service. Lou has agreed to transport an unusual package from the middle of the Wasteland to the nearly uninhabited coast: a glamorous redhead named Holliday Bell. A case of mistaken identity sees Lou brutalized and disabled by religious assassin from the church of Johnny Knives (god of death) Reckoning "Artie" Tehachapi, who attempts to atone for her wrongdoing by serving Lou until she's healed. Together (for better or worse) head toward the ocean through unknown and dangerous territory.

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katieaki · 1 month

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, the second part, here, and the third part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

Costume check for the girls as of this update. They're all kind of doing their own thing. Holliday's relative cleanliness is indicative of how little she's working. Artie's overall apparent griminess is separate from how hard she's been working.

Read it for free on my patreon and vote on what happens next!

Excerpt below the cut.

Just as the spots in her vision began to clear, Artie set her down and began looking her over.

“Where does it hurt?” she asked.

Lou lifted her arm in its sling. “My wrist,” she said. She only realized then that she was crying. Not just tears, but big, gasping sobs. The pain was unbearable. Her wrist had never stopped hurting since Artie had broken it in the first place, but she didn’t realize it could still hurt that much worse.

“Easy. I got you, cowgirl, you’re okay,” Artie said, sitting Lou down on the ground.

“What can I do?” Holliday asked, her hand at her throat.

“Grab some water and a rag,” Artie said. “And my first aid kit. It’s in the outside bottom pocket of my pack.”

“Sorry,” Lou said. She couldn’t stop crying and the pain had begun to subside just enough for embarrassment to creep in. “I’m okay. I’m– sorry.”

“I wish we had some ice,” Artie said. She slid Lou’s arm out of the sling and began to unwrap the splint. When she pulled the bandage away, Artie sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth.

Lou looked down but had to look away as soon as her eyes landed on the wrist. It had already been sitting at kind of a funny angle, but now it was bent back toward her body in a way that made her sick to look at.

“Ooh, fuck. Something more than ice, huh?” Artie said absently.

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katieaki · 5 months

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, and second part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! You know when someone is like, soooo mean to you & everyone else is like "I'm sure it's not that bad, I'm sure she's fine, maybe you just caught them on a bad day" and then they encounter them, too, and you can see the light go out in their eyes in an instant? You know that feeling? Well. So does Lou, now.

Read it for free on my patreon! Excerpt below the cut.

“Where did you learn to fight? That knee thing was practiced,” Artie said as she dragged Lou along. “I thought the Pony Express was a reputable institution, not some rough and tumble gang.”

“I got a bad temper and I’m small,” Lou said. She twisted her wrist back and forth, trying to get out of Artie’s grasp to no avail. “People always think they can just pick me up in a fight. I had to learn how to get them to put me down. Usually, people fall down when I do that.”

Artie clicked her tongue and held her free hand out in an exaggerated cockiness. “What can I say,” she said. “I’m fucking good.”

Lou wondered if she could still manage to bite her after all, just because she was annoying. Artie wouldn’t be expecting it anymore. She might be able to get a good chomp in. She dug her boot heels into the dirt a little and made Artie have to pull her harder, which she did without comment.

“You took it really well though, the other night,” Artie said as she continued on unbitten. “You fought good.”

“No, you cleaned my plow. I was groveling and crying in the dirt for you to spare my life,” Lou said. She hated that she hadn’t been able to be tougher. Maybe she would have been hurt worse, but at least she would have had her dignity.

“Listen, please don’t take this the wrong way, but that’s spoken like somebody who doesn’t regularly have people groveling and crying in the dirt for you to spare their lives,” Artie said. She stopped tugging on Lou’s arm to allow her to skirt around a clump of taller brush before pulling her forward again. “First off, of course you were. And, second, you weren’t, really. You got some real good licks in on me, cowgirl. I was impressed. You should be proud of yourself.”

Here's the summary I almost went with.

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katieaki · 1 month

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, the second part, here, and the third part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

Artie has a lot to say in this one. It's a good update if you like earnest & religious flexitarian wolf girls who are trying their absolute best.

Read it for free on my patreon and vote on what happens next! Excerpt below the cut.

“I’ll clean it in the morning,” Artie said. “Please.”

“No,” Lou said. “Tonight. Right now.”

“Lou, please,” she said. “I can’t. I'm exhausted.”

“Yes you can. You’re tough, come on,” Lou said. She snapped her fingers a few times in the air around Artie’s hung head. “You’re a Knife Church hardass, ain’t you?”

She looked back miserably at Lou, water dripping down her face. Her eyes focused on Lou for just a second before settling somewhere above or behind her again.

“Perhaps it would be best if she could just rest up for the night,” Holliday suggested, laying a hand on Lou’s shoulder. She sounded nervous. Lou realized that the reason Holliday wasn’t being totally shitty to Artie the way she’d been to her was that she was scared of Artie.

Lou shrugged her hand away. “You said, and I quote, that ‘your body is my body’ until I’m well again and that you’re honor-bound to do what I say, right? ‘Just want and consider it done.’ Right? All that ‘my liege’ shit, right?”

Artie nodded reluctantly.

“Well, what I want is for you to perk up and clean up that wound. If your arm is my arm, we’re taking care of my arm. You would not let me just go to bed with my arm looking like that, would you?” Lou said. “Listen, I’ll even help you. Just stand there and don’t drip on the beds.”

#Wasteland Pony Express #katieakipresentsthewasteland #original fiction #original content #oc #Lou #Louetta Primrose #lesbian fiction #interactive fiction #choose your own adventure #queer western #western romance #lgbtq fiction #choose your own path #cyoa #Artie #Reckoning Tehachapi #Holliday #Holliday Bell

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katieaki · 5 months

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living is revenge against this hateful world 🔪🐺💘

instagram | twitter

#this is kind of a portrait of Artie #digital art #procreate #art #lgbtq artist #lesbian artist #queer artist #digital #digital drawing #artie #reckoning tehachapi #knife church #RSCO #the listening lady #Johnny Knives

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katieaki · 3 months

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✨🐺🍀 Lucky Dog 🍀🐺✨

Artie in her natural environment, seconds away from alienating her audience with what she feels is a relatable anecdote. instagram | twitter

Reckoning "RT" "Artie" Tehachapi is a religious assassin for the Wasteland's greaser god of death. She claims she was raised by wolves and nobody is quite sure that it's not a little bit true. She is one of the antagonists (??) of the bi-weekly post-apocalyptic lesbian western* interactive fiction project I've been working on for over a YEAR. It's all for free on my patreon! We have just finished up part 3 and are moving on into part four once the polls close on Wednesday. It's good shit! You should check it out!!

* I know it doesn’t look like she’s from a western, but I promise it is

#katieakipresentsthewasteland #digital art #procreate #art #lgbtq artist #lesbian artist #lesbian #queer artist #digital #digital drawing #artie #reckoning tehachapi #knife church #greaser #original character #original content #wasteland pony express #lgbtq fiction

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katieaki · 4 months

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, and the second part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! Holliday's up, she's defrosted, and boy is she back at it. This update was a big one for me as I've answered some questions that I first established in 2020 (!!) when I first tried (and failed) to get this Choose-Your-Own-Adventure off the ground! Three years & almost a full year of active writing later and we are finally getting to hear: what the FUCK is this chick's deal, anyway?

Read it for free on my patreon! Excerpt below the cut.

“You don’t sound like you’re from Soaptree,” Artie said.

“Thank you. I worked hard to rid myself of my accent. I was sick and tired of sounding like a yokel. No offense, Lou,” Holliday said, patting her on her raised knee with a condescending smile.

Lou wasn’t sure how she could keep being surprised by Holliday’s mean streak, but she was. “No, I understand completely. Feeling a mite tired of sounding like a damn yokel myself on account of every fucking person I meet these days seems to feel at liberty to comment on it,” she said. She cringed internally. She wished she’d said ‘a little’ instead of ‘a mite.’

“It suits you. You’re a folksy, earthy person. It didn’t suit me,” Holliday said.

Lou thought about letting go of her hand. It’d serve her right. Let her be scared alone. But last time she let go of her hand, Holliday almost died. She shut her mouth and readjusted her grip on her hand.

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katieaki · 5 months

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, and second part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! It's the second update of part three. Were you hoping we got a glimpse into Lou's medium-traumatic childhood? Well, if so, I've got great news for you!

Read it for free on my patreon! Excerpt below the cut.

“You’re Handsome Eddie’s kid. Gods, you look just like him,” she’d said, turning Lou’s face up with her rough hand. “Didn’t think your daddy raised a horse thief.”

“You’re the damn horse thief,” Lou had spat.

“I bought him fair and square, little lady,” she had said, hauling Lou onto her bare feet and loosing her from the rope. “Come on, get on your feet, we’re going up there to tell your mama.”

“No!” Lou had said. She’d grasped the lady’s hands in desperation. No one had been allowed to go to their house. No one had been allowed to know how bad a state her mother was in. No one had been allowed to know how they were living. “Please don’t tell her.”

“Well, would you rather we go tell your mama or I whip you right here?” she’d asked. Lou didn’t know then that she’d been trying to bluff her.

“Whip me,” Lou had said, almost eagerly. She would have taken much worse than a whipping. “But don’t tell my mama.”

She had obviously been surprised by Lou’s answer. But after a minute, she had said ‘alright’ and had Lou hold out her hands and whipped them with a switch eight times: one for each year of her life, only minus two because she was so small. A few thin lines of blood had bubbled to the surface but Lou’s anger had protected her from crying in front of this woman.

“Are you sorry?” she had asked.

“No,” Lou had said. “Sorry I got caught, maybe.”

“Well, tough guy, when your mama asks what that’s about, you tell her that’s what I do to horse thieves,” she had said, pointing at the welts on Lou’s palms. “The first time they get caught, mind you.”

“She ain’t gonna notice anyhow,” Lou had said. She had flexed her stiff and bloody palms with a wince. She wouldn’t have been able to go to the pantry now. The siblings there would have noticed for sure.

When she had looked up at her again, the lady’s face had changed. Lou hadn’t understood exactly what that expression was then, but she did now. Pity, but the cold kind. She had let Lou walk all the way to the gate, her throbbing hands held in front of her, palm up. “You want out of there, kid?” she’d called.

Lou had looked over her shoulder at her.

“Come back when you can use them hands again. I’ll give you a job,” she’d said.

Despite everything, Lou had beamed at her. “Really?” she’d called back. “Okay! I’ll be back!”

“It’s not gonna be fun!” she had called as Lou took off back home at a run. “It’ll be hard work! And the pay’s shit!”

#Wasteland Pony Express #katieakipresentsthewasteland #original fiction #original content #oc #Lou #Louetta Primrose #lesbian fiction #interactive fiction #choose your own adventure #queer western #western romance #lgbtq fiction #choose your own path #cyoa #Artie #Reckoning Tehachapi #wasteland writing #Wasteland Pony Express Update

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katieaki · 2 months

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, the second part, here, and the third part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

cw for this update: a lot of cannibalism discussion & some allusions to child abuse

Our little Lou isn't doing so hot, pard. Artie is not doing so hot, either. Holliday seems okay.

Read it for free on my patreon and vote on what happens next! Excerpt below the cut.

She speculated on what the ‘survival situation’ was that had her in the position of eating somebody. Lou had spent a lot of hungry nights as a child, but she had never even come close to considering eating somebody. It had to have been Artie’s mother, right? Artie said she’d killed her with her teeth. It followed that she then ate her; she had already been halfway there. How much of a person did you have to eat to be considered a cannibal? If she had just swallowed the mouthful of flesh she’d bitten off of her throat— it had to be her throat, right?— did that count? That didn’t seem fair. And if it was her own mother? Was that better or worse? It seemed that it was right for her to kill her; she had said the church got involved, which meant there probably was some abuse going on. But still, that was her mother. Lou thought about her mother, pale and thin and sad. Laying in bed. She was always laying in bed in Lou’s memory. She couldn’t even bring herself to be angry with her now, despite the difficulties Lou she suffered from her neglect. She couldn’t imagine being angry enough to kill and eat her.

On the other hand, what was the real difference between your body and your mother’s? Weren’t you made out of her body? It almost seemed more permissible in that way, not completely different from biting off and swallowing the skin around your fingernails. And animals ate their mothers all the time. So many animals ate their mothers and nobody thought of them as cannibals. ‘Cannibal.’ What a word. She’d let a cannibal eat her pussy. Lou wished she could tell Venus about it. She would be able to make her laugh it off if anyone could. She had let a cannibal eat her pussy. It was kinda funny. She wished she could find it funny.

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katieaki · 1 month

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Holliday, Lou, and Artie costume checks ft. Holliday being suspiciously clean, Lou wearing the sling that I've actually described (made of furoshiki from the psychic gas leak nuns at Angel Wormwood) instead of a plain white one, and Artie in her shirt that got her in trouble with Holliday (and many self-inflicted wounds).

#Wasteland Pony Express #katieakipresentsthewasteland #oc #Lou #Louetta Primrose #Artie #Reckoning Tehachapi #Holliday #Holliday Bell #procreate #digital drawing #character design

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katieaki · 4 months

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, and the second part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! Lou's had about enough of all these religious weirdos (except you, Skylark, you're cool) and their weird convents and cults and magic(?). There's some cute donkey content, too. This is a LONG ONE and there is HOT and JUICY GOSS to be had. This poll offers the possibility for a strong diversion. What are you waiting for?? Get in there!!

Read it for free on my patreon! Excerpt below the cut. Bone appleteeth!

“Okay, dinner is served for real, now,” Artie said.

Artie handed Lou the tin plate with an eager expression. On it, there was a puck of minced venison between two johnnycakes, some cooked greens, and a little pile of fried yucca heart, cut into little sticks.

“What’s this?” Lou asked.

“It’s a hamburger,” Artie said. She nodded encouragingly at the plate. “And french fries. You said that, if you could have anything, that’s what you’d have, remember?”

Lou looked at the plate. It certainly was not a hamburger and french fries.

“I was short some— well— a lot of ingredients,” Artie said. She crouched next to Lou, obviously waiting for her to do something. “I got the best red meat I could find out here. But no condiments. No more potatoes. No pickles. I know you said you wanted pickles. But I made a toothpick.” She pointed at the thin piece of visibly hand-carved wood speared through the ‘hamburger’.

“You did all this for me?” Lou asked. The meal was not what she had been envisioning when she had gotten looped into playing that wishing game, but it had obviously been a lot of work, especially out in the wilderness with no kitchen.

“Yeah,” Artie said. She looked up at Lou, her eyes gleamed in the firelight now that the sun had dipped below the horizon. Lou wished she’d blink more often.

“You caught and killed and butchered that deer so that you could do all this for me?” Lou asked.

“Yeah,” Artie said.

“Because I said that I wanted a burger? In your little game?” Lou asked.

“Yeah,” Artie said. She had leaned in closer with each answer.

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katieaki · 3 months

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My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, and the second part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

Happy trails, pard! Don't leave us with a bit of devastating and upsetting information before we take off on our journey through the unknown wilderness together!

Read it for free on my patreon! (Long) Excerpt below the cut.

“So, what, mommy issues? Daddy issues?” Artie asked as she lifted Lou’s hair up to tie the new sling for her.

“Excuse me?” Lou said. She craned her neck to look up at her, but the pain in her shoulder made her look back down at the ground.

“Sorry— just, what you said to Holliday yesterday,” Artie said. She tied a knot and smoothed Lou’s collar over it. “About parents.”

Lou rubbed her face with her good hand. “Oh, yeah. I didn’t mean to loop both of y’all into that,” she said. “It’s not real polite to assume people’s family situations.”

Skylark looked up from where she was consolidating two half-used jars of flour. There was a spray of white powder across her cheek. “Oh, no, you’re right. No mother but the Listening Lady, no father but Their Honor,” she said. “I was taken into a church orphanage and basically never left.”

“A dyed in the wool church girl,” Artie said with deep affection. She wiped the flour from Skylark’s face with a handkerchief and crouched down to start packing up her sewing kit. “I killed my mom.”

She was so casual about it that it took Lou a second to catch up. She looked up to meet Skylark’s eye. There was just a half second too much silence and Artie looked questioningly up at them.

“I’m so sorry, cousin,” Skylark said. “That must have been a difficult situation.”

Artie shrugged as she rolled the excess thread around a scrap of cardboard. “Nah. It’s fine. I got new parents. And my new dad killed my old dad,” she said.

There was another long silence. Lou wished she had two good hands so she could more easily occupy herself out of discomfort.

“No— sorry, it’s a good thing. She’s knife church, too. My dad. My new dad. It’s a saga. I’m not trying to get into it,” Artie said. “All I was trying to say was… um. Same.” She gestured between her and Lou.

“Oh, no, it wasn’t like that, at all,” Lou said. She shouldn’t have even brought it up yesterday. Lots of people had actually bad childhoods. Hers was fine. Normal, even, when you think about it. It was embarrassing that it had been on her mind so much lately. She’d gone so long hardly thinking about it at all. “I just had a basic, average bad childhood. Less attention than I wanted, less food than we needed, that kind of thing. You know. I never had to stab my mom or anything.”

“No, I didn’t stab her,” Artie said. “I used my teeth.”

Lou’s mouth went dry. Artie had almost bitten her face when they were fighting that first night. She could have easily ripped Lou’s throat out when she had her pinned down to the ground. Lou wasn’t sure why that was so much more disturbing than when she only thought she was in real danger of being killed by a knife. It didn’t change how dead you were. A chill ran down Lou’s neck where Artie had just touched her to fix her sling. She had been right to be afraid of those teeth.

“Artie,” Skylark said. She looked at Artie with a silent plea for her to stop talking that was so clear, even Lou could read it. Artie did not seem to register it for what it meant.

“Well, I didn’t have a knife! I was only like, seven years old!” she said.

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