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everythingsinred · 1 year

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 9)

Mikan's feelings are officially romantic now which will make this essay much more fun. Hopefully you will think so too. Today we'll chat about how her new crush clashes with Natsume's sudden coldness, as well as further discuss her difficulty confronting him.

I use the TokyoPop versions that I own for these essays. After the 15th volume I'll be left to my own devices, but for now, TokyoPop is what I turn to. If there's differences in translation or something, then I'm sorry. It happens from time to time but I promise I'm not just making stuff up. There might be inconsistencies between versions, that's all.

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Chapter Twenty-Six

You might ask yourself "huh???" But, yes, we did just analyze 26 yesterday. But I was stupid back then. I left out a key detail and I have to talk about it or else I'll combust. It's not a huge thing on the surface, but it's important to me. I couldn't edit the post because by the time I'd realized my mistake, people had already read it! And I couldn't reblog with the new information because then it could be easily missed in the future. This is just the easiest way.

Who is "people," Mikan?

I have to talk about this, the specific way she says this. "Mikan, why is your face red?" And her explanation, even just internal, is "Well, he suddenly started being all serious and using people's actual name." An easily dismissed line, but it shouldn't be!

Obviously, she realizes that she's affected by the fact that he called her by her name. She knows that she's blushing and that it's because of him. But Mikan struggles a lot with actually admitting feelings for Natsume. This explanation is internal, which means she's just thinking it. Of course she'd never say to Anna or Nonoko out loud, "Oh, yeah, I'm blushing because of something Natsume said," But she also can't admit it to herself, either. She distances herself, instead saying, even in her own head, that he surprised her by "using people's actual name." It's not about her, specifically, it's about people.

But Mikan wouldn't be affected like this if he had said someone else's name. It's only because he said her name that she's blushing. She just can't actually admit it because if she did, then she'd have to ask herself why it matters that he said her name, and she doesn't want to do that.

Mikan's obliviousness about her feelings stem from multiple causes.

She has little to no romantic experience. She's never liked a boy before and she doesn't really understand why Natsume is different from her other friends.

Natsume is confusing. We will later see that Ruka, who is much more consistent and straight-forward is able to get his feelings across to Mikan with way more ease than Natsume. Natsume is wishy-washy, hot-and-cold, unpredictable and mysterious. It makes sense that Mikan wouldn't understand that many of his actions are motivated by romance because he does nothing to suggest it.

She doesn't want to think about it. I had mentioned previously that Higuchi Tachibana said once that Mikan was supposed to be a cheerful girl who forgot her issues quickly. Part of that is that she's easily distracted, another part is that she prefers to think positively about things. But she also sometimes simply refuses to think hard about confusing or unpleasant feelings.

Here, it's pretty clear that she doesn't want to think too hard about why Natsume made her blush. She's eager to forget about it. I think her feelings for him make her uncomfortable, so she distances herself from them. She can't come to understand how she feels if she refuses to contemplate the feelings in the first place. So she says that Natsume is using "people's name" to create a space between the event and her consequent feelings.

Well, she can try to ignore her feelings all she wants, but that won't stop them from growing.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

For the Natsume essay, I could immediately start talking about dramatic things like sacrifice and protection as soon as his feelings changed. This essay will be a little slower of a burn. Mikan may have feelings for him, but she’s not entirely aware of that and won’t be for a while, so pretty, fanciful language has little place here at the moment.

It’s time for exams! So Mikan has bigger fish to fry than whatever weird two-syllable names occasionally come from Natsume’s mouth (because she doesn't actually want to think about it anyway). Mikan is stupid and usually doesn’t do well on tests, but Yuu informs her that if she gets the best grade, there’s a chance she could qualify for the Best Student Award, the award Hotaru had previously been coveting. It’s still up for grabs and the exams are going to be the deciding factor.

Since getting his letter from Narumi, Mikan is jazzed over even the smallest chance she’ll see her Jii-chan again, so she throws herself into studying, even though it isn’t exactly fruitful. She struggles a lot with most of the concepts she’s reviewing, so she gets teased by her friends, and the chaos leads her to run into Natsume. He doesn’t say anything, but Mikan, insecure as always and used to him being a jerk, is sure he is judging her harshest of all.

He didn't say that. He probably wasn't even thinking it. Mikan's just incredibly nervous and vulnerable around him, especially now.

Ruka tries to comfort her that Natsume wouldn’t be so cruel, ever the apologist, but she struggles to believe him. Mikan is still very affected by what Natsume said to her at the after-party. She’s more uncomfortable around him than ever because she still doesn’t understand what he was trying to say. He’s always been a conundrum, but he’s outdone himself this time. Additionally, the way he makes her feel is even more confusing, and she's insistent on not analyzing her feelings too closely. She doesn’t want to dwell on it, but she can’t look at him without thinking about it. She doesn’t linger on that topic forever, mainly because her bigger fish have yet to be fried. Maybe that's part of the reason (but the certainly not the only reason) that she focuses so much on studying: this way she doesn't have time to dwell on Natsume.

Because Mikan is determined. It doesn’t matter that her chances are low. It doesn’t matter that the odds are stacked against her. What matters is that she wants to try, so she does. Her incessant refusal to give up or slack off inspires the rest of the class, and by the time exams roll around, nearly everyone is in study mode. Even Natsume is helping some classmates out. Her tenacity is contagious. Class B gets slowly drawn closer together, especially because of Mikan’s insistence on the matter. In the anime, Mikan demonstrates selflessness by sacrificing her own study night to help Sumire out with the home ec exam. Though those moments are missing from the manga, there’s still an emphasis on the entire class getting along for once.

:) Height difference. :)

But ultimately Mikan doesn’t do well. In fact, she does terribly. She tries her hardest and she still fails. Hotaru jokes that the outcome had been obvious from the beginning, but what mattered was that she tried. I think it’s a lovely message to promote trying even in unlikely or difficult situations. Failing when you’ve put your all into something can’t really be a failure, because you still did all you could. Real failure is not even trying. Mikan might not have come even remotely close to qualifying for the Best Student Award, but she still succeeded in amping up her classmates, in connecting with them, in trying her hardest. Award or no, she still studied hard and learned things. That is enough for now. There’s always next year (*stifled screaming*).

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Who is Persona? Mikan isn’t familiar.

Turns out that not only did Mikan do more poorly than she’d like, she earned the lowest grade in class, even after all that studying. She’s feeling down on herself, and it doesn’t help that Natsume is randomly acting even meaner than usual for no good reason. Things are not going well for her.

Was she asking him if he wanted to play Othello with her? I'm gonna cry. It's a 2-player game ;-;

Then she meets Kaname, a charming and handsome middle schooler who is Tsubasa’s best friend and Mr. Bear’s creator. Mikan quickly gets attached to him because he is kind and she is starved for positive affection after being teased by Class B and treated coldly by Natsume. He reminds her of the ideal prince she and Hotaru put together--an image of the perfect boy who is beautiful, kind, delicate, and rich. Naturally, he should also be sickly, Hotaru adds. And that fits, because Kaname--in addition to being the perfect guy on paper--has the life-shortening alice.

I’m gonna ramble about something unimportant for a moment because in the panel where Mikan describes her and Hotaru’s “ideal prince,” Hotaru is the one drawing and listing out all his qualities while Mikan watches in awe. To be honest, I always kind of took that to be Hotaru’s high standard for an ideal man, an almost impossible standard for a normal person to meet. Mikan, who has never had a crush on a boy before and is entirely naive to romance and even the fantasy of it, simply sits and takes the information in. (After all, when Mikan does fall in love, the boy she loves has very little in common with the prince drawing.) Regardless of whether or not Mikan helped form the sketch Hotaru drew, though, that princely form is not based in reality.

But... Hotaru's description also fits Ruka... I'm just saying.

Not even Kaname fits it as perfectly as Mikan imagines.

In the anime, he might be close to perfect. The corresponding episode doesn’t imply that there’s much more to him beyond what Mikan sees at first glance: kind, sickly, handsome, popular. But the manga challenges this. He is all of those things, but he’s more than that too.

Mikan is not the only one to see Kaname as a perfect prince. He has a lot of fans, many of which have commissioned him for a stuffed animal at some point. He knows that he’s attractive and can use those assets to his advantage. His manipulation skills lead to Bear’s cabin being entirely modernized and remodeled by his devoted admirers. I guess my point here is that Kaname is just an example of how perfection can’t exist. He’s as close as it gets, and even he has facets to his personality that could be classified as flaws (like being manipulative, though I think people shouldn’t be punished for objectively funny character flaws).

This aspect of Kaname's personality is so underrated. He's so funny to me.

Tsubasa is a little different in the manga than in the corresponding anime episode as well. In the anime, he’s eaten up inside about Kaname’s alice shape. He struggles with Kaname’s insistence on using his alice, but reluctantly resigns himself to being helpless in the matter. Ultimately, it’s not his alice and not his call, and he can’t force Kaname to give up something that makes him happy. In the manga, Tsubasa is casual. He tells Mikan about Kaname’s alice shape and that he’s in and out of the hospital all the time. She worries about him, naturally, but the focus is more on Kaname than on Mikan’s struggling with the revelation about the fourth form or Tsubasa’s conflicted feelings watching his best friend die.

She gets angry at first, but the truth is that she's hurt! Poor Mikan!

At some point, while she’s concerned about Kaname in class, she makes eye contact with Natsume, who quickly and dismissively looks away. Mikan is initially pissed, because she hates being ignored and she doesn’t understand what his problem is. But then her expression saddens. After the Reo incident, Mikan had been carrying hope that she could stay true to Narumi’s advice and make friends with unlikeable people. She was successful with Sumire, and she’s currently making progress with Bear, but Natsume is still untouchable, almost as if she did something to gravely offend him. She’s hurt, because she catches glimpses of him that she likes and for some reason he refuses to let her see more. It’s not just that he has walls, it’s that the walls have spikes specifically designed to poke her in a way they don’t poke anybody else. It feels personal, and now that she likes him, it hurts even more.

In any case, Mikan and Hotaru--sent on a mission to trap a rumored spirit--stumble upon Bear bringing Kaname anonymous flowers, only to get caught. Kaname tells him that he worries about him, because he doesn’t let people in and might actually be all on his own once Kaname is gone.

(And of all of Kaname’s creations, Bear is the most his. While the other toys seem to be created for commissions, Bear was created for Kaname. All the stuffed toys love him, but Bear is the only one who seems to fully understand him. He is the only one who would bring Kaname his favorite flowers, the only one who worries about him the way he does. And of all the toys, Bear is the one Kaname seems to have the strongest connection with. Not relevant, but something that still makes me cry because their relationship is more than I could ever cope with.)

He finishes off by apologizing to Bear that they won’t always be together.

And Mikan takes that personally. We know from the omake about Mikan’s childhood that she has always felt a yearning for what she never had, that the yearning was strongly connected with the stars and with her complicated feelings about ghosts. She wonders if her parents felt the same way: concerned about her because they were apart, sorry that they couldn’t be together. It’s bittersweet, because Mikan lost out on a love she should have always had. But she never felt unloved, abandoned, left behind. Mikan is sure that her parents loved her, that they wished they could’ve stayed with her. That connection we’ve discussed before is exactly what gives her that certainty. She could feel her father’s presence in the omake and feels connections to the mysterious people brought up from time to time in regards to her nullification (“that woman” and the other person with the nullification alice).

"When I think that [my parents want to hug me from heaven] and look at the starry sky, my heart feels almost like it could break." Yeah, mine too, Mikan.

Over the chapter, Mikan has learned a sad sort of acceptance. Death is scary. But the sadness doesn’t just come from life ending; it’s about leaving behind the people you love. It’s inevitable, and it will always hurt, but that means making sure that the people you love know that they are loved. So she won’t help Kaname use up his alice and his lifespan. Instead, she will try to be friends with Bear, so that when Kaname inevitably can’t be around for him anymore, someone will be.

Even if she can’t stand Bear, she will try to befriend him anyway, because even Bear deserves to have somebody care about him. After all, she was able to overcome her dislike of Natsume, so she has some experience in this sort of thing. (And it’s important to note that her dislike of Natsume is past tense. Even if he is still acting like a jerk to her, she still likes him.)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I've chosen to be really kind and generous and include two more chapters of analysis here for you, even though it is the start of a new arc.

At this point in the Natsume essay, I had just reached 22k words. In this essay we’ve passed 35k. Mikan is the main character after all. In the earlier chapters, Natsume is hardly present, only to occasionally act as an antagonist before he’s firmly transitioned into a member of the lead cast after the Reo arc. And even then, he sometimes doesn't appear for a few chapters. Meanwhile, Mikan is present and central in nearly every chapter.

It's very sad but we won’t be talking about comparisons to the anime from now on. I've compared all I could for the time being. By now, we get it: anime!NatsuMikan is different from manga!NatsuMikan. Time to move on. Let’s get into the Z arc.

It’s November at Gakuen Alice. Fall is in full flush (keep in mind that seasons are important!) and something amazing has happened: Yuu won the best student award and as a result will be visiting his family in Fukuoka for a week. Everyone is excited for him, even if they are a bit jealous of his prizes. He’s especially excited to see his younger sister, who he has never met.

Mikan is a rarity, finding her alice and attending the school later than most of her classmates, who have been here for almost their whole lives. The academy steals childhoods and lives and families from these kids, though that’s not something Mikan is piecing together quite yet. Knowing your family shouldn’t be a privilege awarded to one smart child each year; it should be something these kids all take for granted. But Yuu has waited three years to meet his sister. The Alice kids are all nine/ten/eleven years old now, which means that most of them will either have to lose their alice or wait another decade before they can go home. Not all the kids are like Natsume or Mikan, being singled out in atrocious ways; but they are all abused and neglected, treated like commodities and experiments, ways to make profit and gather power, rather than being treated like children. Not all the kids are treated like child soldiers, but they are mistreated nonetheless, pitted against each other for privileges they should have anyway.

I mention this because we’ll be discussing the idea of “going home,” family, and potential loss of alice in this arc, a subject that is sensitive for each kid in Class B (not just the ones with the life-shortening alice).

That aside, Mikan is visibly happy for Yuu. All the kids are jealous, of course, because they all want to see their families, but none of them resent Yuu for winning. There’s genuine happiness for him, from everybody, but specifically Mikan. Watching a close friend win feels like a win for her too.

She and Hotaru look so genuinely happy for him. I'm gonna cry.

In any case, it’s been a week, so Class B is eagerly awaiting Yuu’s return to school, but other news is circulating around the academy too, particularly about a few “loss of alice” incidents in Japan. Because kids are starting to freak out about it, the staff are addressing their concerns and reassuring everyone that these incidents are only affecting adults outside the academy. These occurrences are odd because they have nothing to do with alice shapes, but the real cause is unclear.

The kids freak out more, but seem to be somewhat calmed by the fact that kids don’t seem to be affected.

They bring up the fact that losing your alice means you can go home, a sore spot for any Alice student. Losing an alice is the only way these kids will see their families again while they are still children. Kids who aren’t academically inclined, like Mikan or Koko, don’t have a good shot at winning the best student award, and other kids like Natsume would never be allowed to leave the school, even if he applied himself enough to win (though that’s not something they bring up). The only chance they have is by losing their alice, either due to the alice shape or these incidents. So even though it seems frightening to lose it, there’s also a clear silver lining.

Sumire, leader of the Alice-supremacy movement, is appalled by her classmates’ discussion. Nonoko chimes in to share that although she misses her family, her alice feels like a part of her, like something precious that she doesn’t want to part with. On top of that, leaving the school means leaving all the people she grew up with, most of whom she only recently started being friends with.

He's ignoring her and she's hurt about it, but he's still one of the most important people to her, still a person she doesn't want to lose.

This prompts Mikan to think of all the people she’s come to know and care for at the academy, and the one person she came here for in the first place. Losing these new (and renewed) bonds would be crushing and lonely. So they all start crying and freaking out again. This is why I had previously mentioned the school’s exploitation of the children and how it takes advantage of them by withholding from them things they are entitled to (like communication with their families). In a better school, this wouldn’t be a debate at all. They’d be able to see and talk to their parents and siblings whenever they wanted and wouldn’t want to lose a part of themselves and all the friends they’ve made in order to do it. But because Alice Academy is a monstrous institution, the children face this terrible catch-22 and have to decide for themselves which is worse: losing your friends or losing your family. It just shouldn’t even be a thing they have to discuss in the first place.

Class is about to start and Natsume just walks right out in the middle of their conversation, with Ruka running after him. Mikan is reminded of what Ruka told her, that Natsume doesn’t want his alice, that she could never understand how he feels. She can understand that, if that’s true, the conversation they were having doesn’t hit him the same way as it hits the others. She doesn’t understand all the nuances of his feelings, but she can see that he’s bothered, which only makes her concerned.

Oh no, he's definitely avoiding you. But it's nice, because you're so busy wondering why he's avoiding you that you're not thinking about why he makes you blush anymore! A victory!

Mikan is in the Special classroom, waiting for class to start, preoccupied with thoughts of her partner. But they’re not all about how bothered he must have been; they’re about how she’s bothered. Natsume seems to be avoiding her and she doesn’t know why. She doesn’t seem angry, just hurt, because she doesn’t know if she did something to hurt him. Mikan has just started to like him, after all, even though she isn’t yet aware of the complexity of her feelings. Having him shut the whole relationship down just as soon as her feelings started to turn around is emotional whiplash and it’s hard for her to understand any of her emotions if she can’t even understand what he’s trying to pull. Though she’s been upbeat and cheerful just like always, it’s obvious that this issue has been plaguing her for a while, something she only lets herself dwell on when she’s given a moment alone.

Which is why her spirits instantly rise when she meets the elusive SA class representative, Tono, who is creepy and uncomfortable to read but generally a good guy. He has the amplification alice, the opposite of Mikan’s, which creates a feeling of connection between them. He, like everyone who meets Mikan, is interested in the fact that she’s Natsume’s partner. Being his partner makes her famous because Natsume is famous, and if Natsume, who is special, got shackled to a partner, that must mean his partner is also special.

Tono asks about Natsume’s health, referencing rumors about him going to the hospital a lot recently. Mikan is instantly concerned again. He’s been avoiding her, so she has no idea what he’s up to, hospital or no, and so she wonders if hospitalization might be why he’s acting so weird. She again connects this news with Noda’s lesson on alice shapes, wondering if perhaps Natsume has the life-shortening alice like Kaname.

She thinks, “Not Natsume,” obviously disturbed by the idea that he could be like Kaname in this way. Of course nobody wants a classmate to die, but the fact that she thinks so much about him despite the fact that they aren’t really on awesome terms makes her concern a little more telling. It’s not just that she doesn’t want a classmate to have the fourth shape; it’s that she doesn’t want Natsume in particular to have it. “Not Natsume.” I'll talk more about this concept later.

The TokyoPop says "Not Natsume!" instead of "It can't be!" I like "Not Natsume!" better. It feels more specific. Because it's the same basic premise, and because I'll mention this sort of thing again later, I'm just going with "Not Natsume!"

She’s thought of him three times in relation to the fourth shape so far, exhibiting that stellar intuition she has. But she shakes the thought off, once again. It’s unpleasant, so she doesn’t want to think about it. She dismisses the thoughts as being residual from her encounters with Kaname and changes the subject to the issue of alice loss incidents.

Tono and the SA class discuss the issue for a bit, but because neither Tono nor Noda can say much without starting a panic, there’s no real information gained, other than that students are being kept on lockdown in the school to prevent alice loss incidents within the academy.

Chapter Thirty

The last chapter was chock-full of info-dumping and set-up for the arc. There was some touch on personal interactions as well, and Higuchi Tachibana is a master at plot threads like these. Especially early in the story, arcs are built, not just around plot points, but character and relationships. In Natsume’s essay, the fact that somebody was stealing alices was vital to his character, where his disdain for his own alice came head to head with his desire to protect his loved ones. There’s also the issue of Mikan’s mother, and his tortured love for Mikan, having no choice but to shut her out. Mikan has threads in this arc as well, things that will be central as we move forward. This arc in particular is incredibly well-thought out, with each central character getting their fair share of development.

Yuu is finally back, having brought back stories and souvenirs for everyone. We meet Pengy as well, Hotaru’s commissioned invention who missed her so much its owner sent it back. It’s established straight away that Mikan and Pengy are like souls, and they get along very well (this will be important).

"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." -Emily Brontë

The mood of the day is ruined very quickly when we discover that Yuu’s alice isn’t working. The scary stories have come to claim a victim, and no reassurances about them being kids apply anymore. Yuu is a kid, and his alice seems to be gone. He is put into quarantine for a couple days and there’s no more fun and games. Nobody in Class B knows what’s going on and the teachers aren’t sharing. Mikan pleads with Narumi to let her see Yuu, just for a visit, since they’d established that whatever’s wrong with Yuu is not contagious. Narumi refuses, so Hotaru steps in, manipulating him through an invention of hers into leading them to Yuu.

Though Mikan is antsy about doing something like this, that might get them into trouble, Hotaru shuts her concerns down. Yuu is all by himself. He must be scared. Mikan was already worried about her friend, but seeing Hotaru display this care as well means the situation must be dire. Even Hotaru is worried, but even more than that: we (and Mikan) can see just how much Hotaru cares for Yuu, how much of an important friend he is to her.

They reunite with Yuu, who starts to cry, both touched that they’d come to see him and scared that he won’t ever see his friends again. Yuu, who is always concerned for others, is now scared for himself. A character who is so defined by his desire to help others and keep the peace being isolated by himself is a key to tragedy. No child should have to deal with being locked up in a room, quarantined on his own even though he isn’t even contagious, with nobody to talk to. It would be scary for anyone, let alone a little kid.

He's only little!!!! Let him out!!!!

So Mikan and Hotaru go back and start a campaign to fold paper cranes in the hopes that their prayers will make him better. Some sticklers start to berate Mikan for going to see him in the first place, accusing her of infecting the classroom and trying to spray her with disinfectant. Mikan is angered by their words, but it’s Sumire who punches one of the bullies. She is Alice-supremacist number one, but that means that they should all be cooperating.

It’s interesting how Sumire was introduced as a villain character, as nothing more than a bully with a superficial crush on Natsume. But once Mikan started to see the goodness in her, more and more instances of her as an ally started to occur. And it’s not as simple as seeing new traits that redeem her. Instead, the traits that made her so terrible at first (her stubbornness, control over the classroom, busybody nature, and Alice-supremacy) were developed as double-sided, as being beneficial too. Characters aren’t black and white. The things that make Sumire insufferable one moment make her kind the next. And part of Mikan’s journey in befriending Sumire is realizing that.

Yuu is finally released from his prison, even though his alice is still gone. There’s a moment of happiness at the reunion, at the hope that he might get his alice back just by going back to his normal routine. But Yuu goes on to detail the questions he was asked, and how he had encountered a woman while outside of the academy who might have the stealing alice and who might be part of Z. All the kids involved with the Reo incident freeze at the name. The loss of alice incidents seemed like scary aberrations before, just random and terrifying events that could take one of their classmates away. But now it’s more insidious, like there’s some conspiracy. Less random, more orchestrated.

Mikan might have gone back to her normal cheery self after the Reo incident, but she was still traumatized by the events, so the idea that it might not be entirely over scares her. It apparently bothers Natsume too, so he leaves the room and once again Ruka chases after him. But this time, Mikan decides to follow him too. She remembers that Natsume, the Black Cat, had been propositioned into joining Z, so maybe he knows something more than she does. Besides, they were both kidnapped together. Natsume is one of the few people who really understands what it was like, so maybe they can talk more about it.

She calls out to him, trying to start a conversation. But he just ignores her, like he’s been doing, so Mikan loses her patience. She’s been putting up with him acting like this for long enough. It’s time for some explanations. So she blows up, demanding to know what his problem is.

She never makes it personal with him. 'Tis too scary!

I find it so interesting that she says he’s been “ignoring people forever” or "disregarding everyone" instead of saying “ignoring me.” Mikan is visibly angry, but she doesn’t want him to know that she’s hurt too. By making it some general thing, instead of something personal, she can distance herself from the situation. He’s mistreating people, hurting people, not necessarily her. It was sudden and without reason, which only makes her more hurt.

But the thing is that he’s not ignoring people. If he were ignoring everyone, she might think there’s something wrong with him, that something is causing himself to turn away. But he’s not withdrawing from anybody (any more than usual) other than her. It seems pointed and intentional and all about her. And she doesn’t want to believe he has a problem with her, which is why she says “ignoring people.” It would be one thing if he had a problem with her and it pissed her off just like before, when they were enemies; it’s another if he doesn’t like her and is somehow also aware that the fact he doesn't like her hurts her feelings because she likes him now. Mikan is an outgoing girl who doesn’t fixate a lot on conflict, but Natsume is different. He’s an enigma and she doesn’t get him, even though she likes him now and she wants to. He keeps himself shut off from her, sure, but the interesting thing is that Mikan shuts herself off from him too. He makes her feel vulnerable, insecure, uncomfortable. She doesn't know why and doesn't really wanna know why. (Do you see why I absolutely had to cover 26 again?)

So she asks him, even though he’s been “ignoring people,” if there’s something he doesn’t like about her, and if there is, then he should just spit it out.

When he finally speaks to her for the first time in weeks, it’s to tell her that he hates everything about her. “Stay away from me.”

Then he just turns around and leaves, like it doesn’t matter.

Mikan freezes for a moment, and there’s two interesting panels of her reacting before she says anything: there’s her hearing the words, just her eyes pictured, shocked but not betraying any particular emotion; and then there’s her lower face, with no eyes, but the beginning of an internal thought, “You…?”

We had “Not Natsume,” before, a refusal to accept that Natsume in particular, not just a classmate, could have the fourth shape. And now we have “You…?” An unfinished thought. Now who knows what that means? It could mean anything! “You suck?” “You’re a jerk?” “You really hate me?” or maybe just “You?” Not just a classmate, but Natsume in particular, hates her?

She screams back after he’s already started leaving that she hates him too, just as much. For a moment, she acts like it’s just another fight, but we can see (and so can Ruka) that it’s more than that. She’s hurt, not just because somebody hates her--because he’s hated her before and it didn’t hurt--but because Natsume in particular still hates her, even though she stopped hating him a while ago, no matter what she says. That pain she was trying to avoid, by saying he was “ignoring people” and not just her, is in full force now. It is just about her. It’s not a misunderstanding; he hates her.

It's one thing when your crush doesn't reciprocate romantic feelings; it's a whole other thing when he tells you to your face that he hates literally everything about you and doesn't want you ever coming near him again.

A moment of silence passes, where we can see a very small panel of Mikan actually crying, before they’re all interrupted by an alarm sounding, signaling that all kids are on lockdown now because intruders from Z have snuck onto campus.

He made her cry!!! Evil!

Ohoho it is such nonsense that Natsume loves Mikan and that she only thinks she reciprocates because she feels guilt. I will destroy that premise, believe me.

Conclusion

Mikan's crush doesn't seem to change things overnight the way Natsume's does. The thing is that she's crushing on a boy who feels he has no choice but to distance himself from her to protect her. That sucks because her affection for him is pretty solid at this point. From her point of view, he's wishy-washy. He was so serious and different at the afterparty and now he's downright cruel. It feels inconsistent. Natsume is never nice, per se, but she's spent enough time with him to be able to discern between Chapter 2 evil!Natsume and Chapter 26 soft!Natsume.

Her feelings are already at crush level! She can't take it back at the drop of a hat! Especially because she doesn't even know she has a crush! It must hurt.

Our next post will discuss the aftermath of this encounter as well as Mikan's inward struggle with her emotions and the expectation that she should always be smiling.

I have been referencing the Z Arc for a long time so I'm sure it's a relief to finally get here. But don't be fooled! I'm still gonna ceaselessly reference future arcs forever until the essay ends. I'm a self-hype machine.

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shxwrunner · 1 year

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Trigun Stampede - Analysis

I have no idea how to start this really, it's been a long time since I've used Tumblr frequently especially after I accidentally deleted my account a year ago. However, I've been brainrotting this a lot lately and I decided fuck it, I want to make a giant post on the differences that Trigun Stampede has to the original 98 anime. This may not be super coherent, and will not be spoiler free at all.

Of course, I'll talk about the manga here and there but I don't want to focus too heavily on it. If the people desire it, I'll make another long ass post about Trimax and all that nonsense. Also I apologize if this is formatted like shit.

Designs

A lot of the strife that older fans run into is the change in designs, but I think it's odd. Of course, if you want to bitch about how Vash looks like a TikTok E-boy then have your fun but it's not my cup of tea. One of the important things to know about the change in setting with Stampede is that not only is it a change in story- it's a change in aesthetics as well. Stampede is extremely more leaning into the idea of steampunk, and that's reflected in design changes.

Wolfwood remains the most unchanged, but really, no one can be mad about it. He is disheveled and just barely close enough to a priest that maybe he is! However the cigarette habit and giant punisher changes things, makes you question it. He's meant to be a bad boy, be mysterious, and he reminds unchanged. I like it.

Meryl... I don't have too many opinions on, I'll be honest. No strong yay or nay on her, but keeping her palette the same and the same tomboyish nature, is very good. Maybe leaned a bit too much into making her "cute"? In a way? That might not make sense to anyone but me though.

Vash, oh Vash. Everyone is so focused on your hair they don't notice the amazing details on everything else.

Vash's arm I'll start with, is one of the more interesting starts to the steampunk-ish aesthetic. As for his coat, yeah the simplistic style is a bit disappointing. The weird coat he had in trimax and 98 was very fun and unique and it's just a bit... Too normal. The one positive I will give it though is that when I first saw the Project Seeds patch I was very happy.

Such a dedication to something that means so much to him made me tear up, honestly. On the topic of character importance with the coat- it's still colored after Rem's favorite flower. I find that to be the most important factor in it all.

His eyes are pretty cool, and I like the effect that the glasses have with the animation. Not much more to say on the matter I think!

We haven't seen enough of Knives for me to make too many comments, but send an ask or smthn if you want to know about something specific. I Also can't say very much about Legato either but I do love his design rn!

Milly

I figured it'd be best to have a section on her early on, no?

I'm very upset about the fact that our beloved girl hasn't shown up yet, and frankly if she doesn't show up at all I'll be deeply hurt. Not only is she an extremely loveable character, she fills a dynamic that Roberto does not. Milly is one of the few people to love everyone unconditionally, Vash aside. She's upbeat, silly, and a bit slow when it comes to realizing things. As opposed to an extremely serious cast who has so many issues, comes a girl who just loves her friends and family.

Not to mention how important she is to Wolfwood's betrayal of Legato in 98. At least in my opinion. Of course I am the kind of person to lean more on development and chemistry in ships than anything, but he does genuinely love Milly in canon, and her reaction to his death is one of the most heartbreaking things. If they remove her from the series entirely, I would find his inevitable death to be... Unfulfilling? In a sense?

Of course, like all characters, Milly deserves a life and story uncentered around a man but we all know anime writers don't we?

Timeline of Events

I considered splitting this into separate events, but decided against it because I don't want to go on forever, as well as I am completely unsure how to word this section until it comes off my fingertips.

One of the biggest surprises to me was how quickly things are mashed together and how fast things happen. Like the fact that we meet Zazi the beast within the first 4...? Episodes?? I don't remember exact episode numbers, mind you. I can respect the narrative choice to MENTION Knives episode one, as I think it adds a lot of atmosphere and it helps the writing they seem to be shooting for.

Jeneora Rock, as a location, if I recall is when he meets one of the first Gung Ho Guns in 98. Nothing major happens, but I believe Legato does threaten him there and he fights the cyclops. So, seeing it basically be demolished and mixed with the city that was affected in the beginning of 98 by the Nebraska Family, is odd. Of course, the Nebraska Family still shows up, but is not called by the city to capture Vash. They're just ... There. And that's fine! Knives absolutely wrecking it though is what threw me off.

It wouldn't weird me out as much had it not been for the fact that one of the major reasons that Vash is wanted in 98... Hasn't happened. July is intact. Vash hasn't been forced to open his gate. He's only wanted because Knives is stealing plants. Along with that his bounty is only $$6 bil, rather than $$60 bil.

With that said I definitely think July won't remain for LONG, and the season might end right before or right after it's destruction. At least that's my prediction, and hope.

Plants

Like the last one, this is formatted as I go. It's a mess, I apologize. Hopefully the last section unless I come up with something new. ANYWAY!!

The way the plants are designed is quite honestly, gorgeous. I hope they lean into the almost seraph-style from Trimax a little more especially as we see Vash do his thing as a plant. I also like that they expand a little more on HOW plants provide things for humans, as noted by when Vash was being questioned about what he can produce. There isn't much for me to say about it, but I'm excited to learn more. I wanted a nice closer to this long post so, here's this. It's almost midnight so night trigun fans

#trigun #trigun stampede #andy's analysis #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #what other eye catching tags are there #idk anymore #long post

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yxstxrdrxxm · 2 months

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(Since i already did reveal myself, i'll just send asks without being an anon lol)

Oh! That's easy, actually. Although we won't be available when we leave tomorrow, we contacted a certain someone that can run this blog and inform us of any messages you have for either me or Eros ^^

Navina? 👀

Speaking of, Eros wanted to tell you that he appreciated your presence, Mochi! Every time we talked about you and the others, I've seen him smile and mutter something about getting a calico cat and naming her after you. It was so cute! Eros never had any close friends other than me, so seeing her talk about everyone and you like we were all best friends warmed my heart.

SJNSKSJDJD- THAT IS SO CUTE??? Naming a calico cat after me, awhhh 🥺 cupid, can you tell eros that i appreciate knowing her too?? Tell her i said she's very cute too- (and yk there's something funny about your words. I also have a calico cat roaming around my house lmaoo, why is my life so full of funny coincidence-)

Aha... Anyways, before I go on rambling, that's all I can say. We'll see what we can do to make things easier and so we can speak to you all again, hehe! I hope you'll still be around when that happens :D

Oh yeah, i forgot to copy the sentence, but uhh, about that interesting thing in next month, i'll be sure to keep my eyes on it! Whether it'd be another event (i doubt it would be this one, please rest navina 💀) or anything else, i will be enthusiastic about it :] AND YES, I WILL STILL BE AROUND 🙆🏻‍♀️ you can't get rid of me, i'm like that small mistake when you're drawing and you just can't seem to erase it unless you get to the layer who has it-

Hehe, whoever it is will be a surprise, but I'll tell Eros that you appreciate the sentiment as well! She's out right now to get some last minute groceries (and also snacks, we'll be having a small movie night to celebrate our resignation!), so she'll definitely be pleased to hear your message.

Anyway, its nice to see you'll stick around even if we won't be here, then :D hope you enjoy what else will go down while we're busy settling some last minute plans.

(note from yours truly: HELPAIDSRFHUI NOT THE CALICO CAT... dwdw, Im gonna rest for after the main story + maybe writing the dlc fics. on hindsight, they might not be guaranteed to be all posted because bro, my brain needs a huge reboot when this sht is all done and dusted. orz.)

(tbh the next one wont be abt OLC anymore, thankfully, but! it will also reference this + make small cameos. Dont know what I'll do this time around when I get the chance but we shall see kek)

(Istg though when Im done Im gonna limit whoever I'll write. I love writing all of these characters and thinking abt them but God do I now resent how many I have to research. fuck THAT.)

(anyways!! I shall go eep for a good while on writing + maybe post dlcs. I will say that some fics will most def not be published even after the week for dlc stuff/extra fics because my brain just. isnt braining. orz orz im gonna cry. i'll prolly post them randomly idk HAIUHDUFSI anyways ill shut up now goodbye—)

#💌 ;; messenger writes #💌 ;; promising letter: one last call #💌 ;; a letter from: mochinon-yah #;; ill make a proper tag for cupid but aaaaaa too lazy #;; anyways yuh #;; tmr is the last day of the main story + event so I am VERY stoked #;; finally... now i gotta worry of the dlc stuff LMAO #;; might just make some short snippets though. writing full fics is rlly taxing esp to those i dont know much on writing for #;; so theirs will be as short as wandys #;; but the rest... we'll see lol.#;; we'll see.

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ethereousdelirious · 9 months

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God okay so I've been trying to write a sort of 'personal reflections of Sicktember' type post because i do sort of view writing as my primary chosen craft and I would like to keep improving at it but I keep not having time but I think I have time now

(Nobody has to read this lmao it's not necessarily "for" something)

So I've tried to participate in a few month-long community writing challenges over the years (Sicktember, Whumptober, Emetovember) and for the most part. Okay I'm trying to avoid the word "failed" because that implies there's a right and wrong way to participate, but uh. I guess quit? I failed to meet my own expectations.

Okay, wait.

I'm a completionist. That is the manner of participation in these events that is fun for me. So if I make another reference to "failing," I mean I failed to complete the challenge in my preferred way.

So yeah anyway I repeatedly failed these challenges. And Sicktember 2023 is the first year I was able to identify why I failed, remedy it, and succeed. (Though it is worth noting that I did complete Whumptober 2019, which was my first attempt at a challenge. We'll get to that.)

Let me chalk it up to 3 interconnected factors: Burnout, Skill Issues, Adverse Events

Burnout

On the surface, it seems simple. Read the prompt, get an idea, write a fill.

Yeah, it's not that simple.

For the longest time, I would just pursue the first idea that popped into my head, regardless of whether I would actually enjoy writing the fill. I would write for fandoms I wasn't really feeling at the moment because I thought they fit the best, forcing my ADHD brain through boring torture for no reward because "oh, but I used to like this thing and it just fits so well."

So when I finished, I would get no dopamine reward. Plus, my challenge fills have historically garnered very little attention (which is fine; I'm not entitled to that), which means that I also received no external reward.

The result is a string of short, dry, passionless fills that no one rightly should want to read. Why would anyone want to read something that I didn't want to write?

And that, my friends, is a recipe for burnout. So obviously I would get discouraged and quit.

That's why my Sicktember 2023 fills are so often repetitive. I forced myself to stick with the thing I really wanted to write even if i felt like I "should" have been writing something else.

Although I have to say, I did start running into problems at the end end where I started getting bored with my own self-indulgence, so I'll have to find a way to counter that next year.

Of course, being unable to write something to your own satisfaction is also a......

Skill Issue

I recently learned that the nebulous concept of "creativity" is a trainable skill. In fact, over Sicktember 2023, I honed my ability to come up with a tiny plot, creating a formula to help me come up with fills. These ideas can come in any order, but the idea is to identify a character, a want, and an illness/obstacle. All the fills I like use this formula and most of the fills I hate do not.

Incidentally, I think that coming up with a different obstacle or changing the way a character's illness impedes them is the key to writing the legendary "slowburn sickfic with plot," but that's a pursuit for another day.

Anyway, yeah, part of the reason I had to be so dependent on the first idea that popped into my head was because I didn't have the skills needed to develop a story.

If the prompt was "stitches" and the first thing that popped into my head was for a fic where Thor has to do field medicine on Loki, that's what I would write. Never mind the fact that I haven't cared about the MCU since 2012. Even though I'm really feeling Ace Attorney right now, past!me lacked the ability (or honestly, the confidence in my abilities) to develop a plot I would have actually cared about.

Also, because I was nervous about my ability to meet the challenge deadlines, I would focus on writing as quickly as possible, leading me to trip up in the face of...

Adverse Events

I don't know if this is confirmation bias or what, but something heinous always happens to me when I'm prepping for a writing challenge. It's been a variety of things over the years, each one legitimately upsetting and sometimes actually clinically traumatic.

Not to mention all the mundane stuff like trips, hangouts, parties, etc. I'm hyperactive and ambiverted, I have a bustling social life and a full schedule.

Regardless, if I missed a few days of writing, I would spiral. That was it, I was too far behind, I was never gonna make it, I should just give up.

Combine that with burnout as well and I really had no good reason to push through. Why should I grind on a project that wasn't even fun in the first place?

Something world-shatteringly horrible happened to me this Sicktember (being vague because it's still really hard to think about), and I did take a few days off because I was a traumatized mess-- crying, flashbacks, dissociation, the whole shebang.

And then, the craziest thing happened. After letting myself off the hook and taking care of myself, I regained some stability and wanted to come back.

So I did, and I just kept chugging away at the prompts. And I finished despite the setback!

Conclusion

I dealt with all the above shit and, for the first time ever, managed to complete a challenge to my satisfaction!

There are fills I'm less fond of based on prompts I don't really care for, but that's the nature of a challenge. I'm not ashamed of anything I wrote (unlike my past Whumptober fills *shudders* Those were all aggressively mediocre at best).

I'm happy! I enjoyed this challenge and I'm excited to take a crack at Whumptober.

#ethereous speaks #sicktemberposting 2023

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camaro-and-smokes · 2 years

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Back in Hawkins - Is She for Real? Part 1

Rating: General for this chapter, Explicit for the full fic Warnings: No warnings for this chapter Characters: Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington, ofcs Tags: Slow build, mentions of past trauma, AU - no supernatural events, everyone is alive, Billy Hargrove redemption

Chapters: Part 1 [PT 2] [PT 3] [PT 4] [PT 5] [PT 6] [PT 7] [PT 8] [PT 9] [PT 10] [PT 11] [PT 12] [PT 13] [PT 14] [PT 15] [PT 16]/ 16

Read on AO3 >>

Author notes: I've wanted to explore these themes for a quite a while. It wasn't until now I found a proper channel to try it. The theme is painful to me personally, yet I wanted to write this exactly because of that.

The story is finished. Tears were shed when posting the last chapter. There will be more Billy, Steve and Emma in the future 💜💜💜

::::::::::

Billy hadn't missed Hawkins a bit since he and Steve had moved to San Francisco almost eight years ago. Now he had been driving the rental car towards it all the way from Indianapolis where they had flown to with Steve. Even though this time he had chosen to go there himself, when the welcome sign of the city was finally ahead, he had thought for a moment that he'd just turn the car around. The city held so many bad memories that he actually had to remind himself that they were there for a celebration, not for opening all old wounds.

"Steve, we're here," he said nudging Steve's shoulder. Steve woke up groaning and stretched his neck while fixing his position in the seat. Billy glanced at him. "You got something there, babe," he said chuckling and pointed to his own chin. "Drool." Steve wiped his chin yawning. He looked at the quiet early morning scenery passing by as they approached their destination. "Nothing's changed." "It's so strange to be back here," Billy said and opened the window for he finally was able to smoke without having to worry about waking Steve up with it. "Some houses were apparently actually painted few years after we left, can you believe? Oh, and they built a new spire to the church some years ago. Talk about development!" Billy laughed a hearty laugh, and Steve couldn't help but to grin. He loved to hear Billy laugh. When he had started to laugh more freely, after he had started to understand that all feelings were OK to show, Steve had learned that Billy's laughter came all the way from his belly, and it always bubbled in the air for a gorgeous moment. Steve tried to make him laugh as often as possible. "When I laugh at your worse material I really must be tired," Billy said glancing at Steve, smiling, and taking a drag of the smoke. "Mom said everything is ready in our old room, so you'll get at least few hours of sleep before we have to be at Nancy's." "Are they gone again?" Billy asked when he heard the flat tone on Steve's voice. "Yeah. What else is new? At least we have the house to ourselves." "I thought they were supposed to be home." "This is one of those things that never change in Hawkins: them being unreliable."

Some time later Billy parked the car on the Harrington's driveway. He stepped out and looked around while Steve took their bags from the trunk. "I didn't remember how quiet it can be here. No wonder the neighbors were pissed off every time I left here with the Camaro around this time." "Yeah, it was always a drag for my parents to try to handle it,” Steve said smiling, and walked to the door, opening it. They went directly to their old room, the one above the garage. It too, along with the whole house, looked like it hadn't changed a bit. "Does nothing really ever change here?" Billy asked. "I don't think so. In good and in bad," Steve replied and set their bags on the bed. "Do you want something to eat? I'm starving." "I'll have another smoke and hit the bed," Billy replied lighting a cigarette. He opened the window and sat down on the floor below it.

Steve looked at him from the door and had a déjà vu. It was the day when he brought Billy and his meager belongings to the room for the first time. Billy's arm had been still in a cast after it had been operated. He had still had some bruises left from Neil's very last beating, the one he did jail time for, and he had looked worn from being in the hospital and having to shower there without his beloved hair products and whatnots. He had sat right there, on the very same spot where he was now sitting, and smoking his very first smoke finally away from Neil's reach. Now, too, he looked a bit weary and tired. But everything else was different. The long blonde hair bleached by the sun fell over his shoulders and partly covering his face, and his blue eyes examined the nails on the hand that had been operated, now as good as new. The black Metallica t-shirt hugged his torso in a way that made Steve have all kinds of indecent thoughts. This Billy wasn’t anymore the same fragile boy who he had been back then. He wasn’t healed for sure, but he was getting better. What he definitely was, was a lot happier. And Steve loved him more than anything.

Billy caught Steve looking at him from the door. Steve had the goofy grin that meant that he was thinking probably with his crotch rather than his pretty head. Billy pulled his hair away from his face with his hand and smiled licking his lower lip. Steve woke up from whatever reverie he had been in, grinning, and Billy winked at him. "I thought you were starving, as in need of sustenance, not starving the other way."

Steve shook his head chuckling and started towards the kitchen. It felt good to have Billy with him. He felt that Billy had missed so much over the years when he hadn't joined him, the kids' graduation parties and Nancy's wedding. Billy just had never wanted to come with him, and he never forced Billy to do anything he didn't want to. Steve couldn't blame him. The good memories Billy had of Hawkins were far and between.

Billy wasn't sure if he'd manage to sleep at all. He hadn't dared to tell Steve the real reason why he had wanted to come this time with him.

The last few years he had been volunteering in giving surfing lessons to kids in foster care. He could see the impact he had on those kids, the difference his time and undivided attention did, even when it was just twice a month. After careful consideration he had decided that he wanted to give more. He wanted to give his time and undivided attention to someone who didn't have anyone - full time. And he didn’t want just one. Though it wasn’t as simple as that though, not to them or him. For them – as a gay couple, adoption would be difficult. For him - he was terrified of how he would manage being a dad. He had no skills in how to nurture another life the best way possible. All he had to draw from was something he didn’t want anyone else to go through. But he had Steve, who was mother-like like no one else he’d ever met. No matter how he put it, Steve was the reason he had been able to heal, and he was forever grateful for it. Steve always made sure he was doing well, and Billy tried to return it as much as he could. In which he sucked at times because of his temper and messed up experiences, but he was getting better at it. With Steve he just maybe could pull it through. But it was still just a dream that he had barely dared to confess to himself. So, here he was, back in Hawkins, because Nancy’s baby’s christening was the closest thing he could imagine having a real idea how it might feel, to have a child, and if it really was what he wanted.

When he finally got to bed, sleep remained thin throughout the five hours he managed to stay in, and he mostly stared at the ceiling. Steve had his arm around him most of the time, which was comforting. Unlike him though, Steve slept.

Finally Billy decided to get up. Instead of a smoke, he took his running gear from his bag and went for a run. The day was sunny and it was getting warmer as the summer was right around the corner. Billy ran through the familiar streets and past all the houses that he, Steve and all the rest of the gang had spent so much time during the extra year it had taken for him to graduate. Now things were different. Almost all of the kids were somewhere else studying, including Max. But he really hoped that he’d meet at least some of them today.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove fanfiction #billy hargrove redemption #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #is she for real #Finney13 writes

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look-at-the-soul · 1 year

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Hi! It's gossip girl 🥰 That super wired with your blog! I saw some of your others posts to the tumble staff and I hope it gets fixed soon! I think tumblr is just broken to the max sometimes and takes the wrong things away:/

My Sunday was good! I actually went to like and Airshow today and got to see some really cool planes with my friends! The Thunderbirds were there and they can do some cool stuff! The only down side was I forgot sunscreen and I burn quicker than rubbing alcohol on a candle😂 But hey if I wanted to be Two Face /Harvey Dent for Halloween I wouldn't have to worry about getting red face paint😂😂 But it was a cool show and we spend most of the day there! I hope your Sunday went well🥰 How'd the walk go with the puppy?!!🥰🥰

Yes! She is a very good sister even though we are polar opposites personality wise we never really had any big fights😂 Other than when she "Borrows" my clothes and forgets to give them back😂😂 She really is great though!! I've probably also done similar stuff to her and my mom too though😂 I'll borrow a sweatshirt from my mom and eventually she'll get it back😂

Lol it's totally fine how long it takes you to reply! I don't mind🥰 It's kinda fun because I think if it like a surprise and the waiting is part of the fun!❤️ And ohh no no no! Tumble doesn't need any more ideas except maybe for a bid to get rid of a few😂

And I absolutely agree with you on the autocorrect and like writing things that don't makes sense (even if it was like unintentional)!

I haven't lost any of my stories but there have been a few close calls with papers and then one event where word totally screwed me over on a final project and wouldn't let me save a 30is page final group project (it had like pictures and charts ) and it wouldn't let me reopen any of the old entries or send it to someone else as a word doc🥲 I could only save it as a PDF but then you can't go into word again and edit a pdf (or it wouldn't let me without paying a bunch to convert it) But my teacher was great and helped me get it back because she did have a program bough already to convert it and another on of my team members was able to find his old copy too! I'm so it worked out in the end but it was pretty stressful at the time😂

And I haven't heard that saying for the weather but I think I love it😂🥰 It fits me well to because I usually like having a bag full of random things possibly (but not usually) needed😂

College is going pretty well! I've been pretty busy with work and trying to get ready for tests (I have one the day after Halloween and one the day after that🥲😂) But overall it's pretty good! How's your work (or college?/both? i actually am not sure if you're in it🫣, I can't remember if you've mentioned being in college) but basically how's life for you been going?! I hope it's been treating you well!!!

Thanks for the love!! Sending some your way too💕💕

I’m finally free!!! As you may have noticed ☺️ Tumblr said it was a mistake (😒), but let’s focus on the good part I got my main tumblr back, so now I think most of the accounts banned is because of this. Thank you for your kind messages during that time! 💝

Oh wow! That sounds like something super exciting to see! Hope you enjoyed it a lot! Oh no!! I’m a sunscreen freak now and I won’t leave the house without it, hope you got some aloe Vera for that sunburn (but after dressing up as Two face for Halloween) 😝 it went good! Pups are the best ♥️

And now I feel terrible because I think I’m keeping you for long periods of time waiting, but I hope in the mean time you got a bunch of nice things to do so you can share them later on here 🤗 haha who are you trying to get rid of? 😂 🤔

Yeah like sorry! Like, I didn’t mean to say that oops 🤭

Oh you can turn a pdf into a word again, just look for a tutorial, and I’m sure there must be some options to make it for free, but I’m glad your teacher and friend were able to help you! Phew 😮‍💨 saved by the bell!… you know I was pretty new to my current job and I had this massive archive full of formulas and tables and such, and the one who was my boss back then comes to the file and starts moving things and he crashed the excel-> freeze-> lost file. I couldn’t get it back 😨🥺 I had to re-start from the last one I saved, so now I’m extra cautious with the files (and of course my stories) and I’m always saving and I actually have like version 12, final version etc 😂

If you could only see my Mary Poppins bag 😅😆 I recently turned one of those empty cosmetics bags they sell with a bunch of goodies, into my “if I ever need…” so I have this mini hair brush, pills, sunscreen, like most of the mini products for travels, hoping that one day someone might need and I will say hang on, got it! 😂

How did the test go?????? Hope you got a good grade! Work is good, thanks! Haha no college for me, I suffered of a lot of stress during my college days I swore I would take some time out (and it’s been a loooong time since I graduated, probably it would be a good time for a master or something. I had plans to go to study somewhere else right before the pandemic started, luckily I didn’t make any move on that back then. But in general it’s been good 😊 finally Friday I can have some rest, need to do a lot of stuff around and write write write.

Hope you have a nice weekend! 🥰💖

Lots of love and good vibes back to you xx

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imthebadguyyy · 3 years

Text

A/N - based off of this sinful photograph

Suggested listening - Wildside by Normani and Kiss It Better by Rihanna

Wildside

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (fem!littlemix!reader)

Fandom - F1

Summary - You've been on tour for a while, and you miss your loverboy. But when he surprises you on tour, its bound to get spicy.

Warnings - smut (not well written)

The snap of hips. The soft groans and moans. The sound of pants. The sound of Rihanna's 'Kiss It Better' blaring through the walls. The bed knocking against the wall as Lewis's hands squeezed your hips, the intensity of the thrust pushing the bed against the wall. The high pitched moan that left your mouth as you reached your high, eyes closing as stars exploded behind your eyelids, as your boyfriend came right after you, your walls clenching as he came. Even after reaching your high, you didn't want to open your eyes, far too consumed in the earth shattering pleasure that was coursing through your veins, until a soft hand reached to pull your chin up, soft brown eyes looking into your own, clouded with lust and euphoria.

Pulling your mouth into his in a heated kiss, Lewis moved his hand to rest on your bare stomach, squeezing your tummy softly as he deepened the kiss. Pulling away he let his head droop onto your bare chest. "That was.." he began, far too blissed out to think of an adjective. "Godly" you said, chest rising and falling rapidly, trying to come to terms with the intensity of your orgasm. Laughing he leaned back up to kiss your nose, before standing up and walking to the bathroom. You heard the tap running, and the sound of the dustbin opening and closing. You closed your eyes again, the aftershocks still coursing through your body.

Opening them again slowly, you saw Lewis walk towards you, towel in hand, and a lazy smile on his face. He gently cleaned your thighs, finishing with kisses on both of them. He reached up and wiped your torso, which was gleaming with a thin layer of sweat, before running the towel over your nose, cheeks, eyes and mouth. He dropped the towel in the clothes hamper near the bathroom door, pulling on his boxer shorts and and pulling out one of his t shirts from the cupboard. "What about the clothes on the floor" you piped up, finally beginning to wake up from your post pleasure state. "When did it get so messy?" He said, spotting 5 different clothing items in 5 different corners of the room. "When you decided to run your hand up my dress in a restraunt" you replied, throwing him a fake glare.

"You liked it" was his cocky reply, smirk spreading over his face as you flushed and ran a hand through your hair. "I did not" you lied, watching as he raised his eyebrows. "Oh really ? Thats not what you were saying 5 minutes ago- oh wait, you weren't saying anything at all. You were too busy moaning my name to say anything else-" "OKAY fine I loved it. Now shut up and bring your fine ass back for cuddles"

*-*-*

That was a month ago. Now you've been away for nearly one and half months, away with the girls on the LM5 tour. You loved touring, it was the best part of being a singer, getting to see the music you girls made together come to life on a stage in front of thousands and thousands of screaming fans. It was a thrill like no other. The only problem was that you were away from home. Distance was never an issue for the two of you, after all, he was a Formula 1 driver. It was very rare that he was home, except during the breaks and the gaps till race weekend, but ever since you two had started dating, he tried to be with you whenever you could. Sometimes, your shows would be in places where the races were too, and then he'd definitely turn up. But it was a difficult thing to do all the time, and some nights on tour were spent pulling all nighters as you talked to each other on the phone, till one of you eventually fell asleep.

But you knew when you started dating him, this wouldn't exactly be a regular relationship. The two of you were doing your dream jobs, and they were both extraordinary. And you were willing to put in the work you had to put in to make the relationship work, and you did. Yet here you were in Madrid, feeling heartbroken and desperately wanting your boyfriend by your side. It had been a rough couple of weeks, you were jet lagged and tired, and although this was the second leg of the tour, and you had had a break, it was tiring. It was hard going to bed every night alone, when all you wanted was to cuddle your boyfriend.

Little did you know, Lewis was feeling the same. In fact he had missed you so much, he had told Angela and his publicist to cancel all events for a week, while he flew out to Madrid to see you. He had missed you, he had missed you more than he could put into words. But he also wanted to surprise you. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled down to Leigh Anne's contact, and sent her a text.

Lewis, Leigh Anne

Hey. Is Y/N asleep ?

Hey! No, she's in an outfit fitting.

Okay that's good. I need your help with something.

Sure how can I help ?

I want to surprise her by coming to see you guys in Madrid.

Oh thats wonderful ! She's been a little down in the dumps. I think she misses you.

I miss her too.

Let me know when, and I'll send a car to pick you up.

I'll be there on Saturday. Landing at 3:15 and I should be at the hotel by 4:30. Then I can get ready and surprise her at the show.

Okay done. I'll send the car around 5:30,so you can rest for a bit. You should be here by 6. The show's at 6:15.

Thank you! Can't wait : )

I'm so happy youre coming to see her ! I'll let the girls know.

*-*-*

As soon as he had finished texting, Lewis decided to start packing, the prospect of seeing you again sending a buzz of happiness running along his veins. God, he had missed you a lot. He turned to Roscoe, the dog sitting by his feet, looking up at his dad with his head cocked to one side. "I'm going to go see Mumma, Roscoe" he explained, smiling as the doggo barked in response. He wouldn't be able to take him to Madrid, he'd have to leave him with a dog sitter, but he couldn't feel too bad about it, since he had had Roscoe with him even when you were gone. And besides, Roscoe enjoyed the dog creche. He couldn't wait for Saturday.

Later in the evening, he sat down with a glass of wine, while the ringtone of your FaceTime rang through the empty house. After a few more seconds of ringing, the call was picked up, your tired face coming into view. "Hi darling" he said, noticing the tiredness in your eyes, and how much you were struggling to keep them open. "Hi bubs. Did you finish eating?" You asked, rubbing your eyes. "No, I've ordered soup" (did anyone get the reference ;) "Oh okay" was the reply. "What about you? What time is it?" "Its 9:20 AM" you replied, gently rubbing your eyes again, forcing yourself to stay awake.

"9:20? Thats pretty late baby. Why are you still sleepy?" "We were recording till 4 AM, so Im functioning on like 5 hours sleep right now" "Oh damn. Go back to sleep then baby" "Can't, rehearsal" was you reply, making him furrow his eyebrows. "Okay I guess. But don't tire yourself out" "I won't" "I love you" he said, smiling at you. "I love you"

*-*-*-*

The Madrid show was always a fun one. The fans were loud and you loved it. They were one of the best crowds you girls ever played for, and the show had its own adrenaline and excitement. But it was difficult to give a 100% when you were tired, but you really tried, you did. During Power, you hit highnotes you didnt think you could, during Woman Like Me you danced like there was no tomorrow. During Wasabi, you brought your sass level up to a 1000. It was during Bounce Back that you caught sight of a very familiar face in the audience. Unable to actually grasp if you had actually seen Lewis, you turned to Jade, who was on your side, and looked back at the crowd and back to her, asking for confirmation.

The smirk she gave you was answer enough. After that, focusing on giving an excellent performance increased tenfold. Every swirl of your hips, every flip of your hair, every wink you threw at the audience, it was all five times sexier. In the crowd, your boyfriend was well aware of what you were doing, and it was fair to say that you were succeeding at it. He could feel an uncomfortable sensation around his pants region, as his cock twitched uncomfortably in his pants. He couldn't wait till the show was over, and you two could have a show of your own.

*-*-*

"That was amazing darling!" Lewis said, spotting the 5 of you in your dressing room. "Oh look its Mr. Loverboy!" Perrie said, cackling as you rolled your eyes at her, before running up to your lover and jumping into his arms. "Hiya Bub! I missed you!" "I missed you too love. That's why I surprised you. I couldn't stand another day without you at home" he said, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you stable as you jumped into his arms. A chorus of "awws" echoed throughout the room, as the girls watched your cute little interaction. What wasn't cute however was the comment Lewis made in your ear, hiding his face in your ear so that the girls couldn't see. "I can't wait to get back to the hotel. I saw the performance you were putting on for me baby. You have no idea how hard I got, how uncomfortable I was standing in front of so many people when all I really wanted to do was fuck you"

You could feel your mouth become dry, and your heartbeat quicken, and you could feel the area between your thighs become wet. You tightened your grip around him, letting your crotch rub against his very softly. "I think it's time to go" you mumbled against his ear. "Okay girls, as lovely as it was to see you, I think it's time we go back to the hotel. I'm pretty worn out from travelling as well" "Yeah I'm pretty tired too" you replied, faking a large yawn. "Alright then, we'll see you guys tomorrow!" Leigh Anne said, leaning forward to give you a hug. After you finished hugging all the girls, the two of you made your way to the car, eagerly waiting to get back home.

The car ride home was tense. The tension was apparent in the air, reverberating through the air, choking you in a way you revelled in. The air was thick with tension, and it was suffocating you in the best way possible. It was almost too much to take. When the hotel came into sight, you practically leapt out of the car, and rushed to the door, an equally ruffled Lewis beside you. But he was not going to give in to you so easily. He enjoyed seeing you flustered. And he was not a person that gave someone what they wanted when they asked for it,no. He was going to have you desperate for it. Smirking to himself, he made his way to the reception, grabbing you by the waist as he went.

Throwing him a confused look you followed, slightly frustrated. "Hello sir, how can I help you?" the man at the reception asked, eyes going slightly wide as he recognized the two of you. "Hi! I just wanted to ask, till what time is your pool and spa open?" He asked, sliding his hand down to the back of your dress. "The pool closes at 10 pm sir, and the spa at 9 pm. We open the pool at 7 am and the spa at 11pm"he replied, struggling to maintain his professionalism as he spoke to one of the best drivers in Formula 1. "Alright thank you. And what time does breakfast start?" Lewis asked, hand pressing down on your ass, ever so discreetly. "Breakfast is from 6-10 am sir" "Thank you so much"

Next to him, you were fuming. Of course he was going to ask questions to which he already knew the answers to. A painful throb between your legs made you let out a small whimper, and the man at the reception looked at you with concern in his eyes. "Ma'am are you alright?" He asked, eyeing your stiff posture and tense state. "Yes, just tired, thank you" you replied, a little stiffly, but it was hard to concentrate when Lewis's promise of fucking you senseless kept replaying in your mind. "Alright then, good night" Lewis said, biting back a smirk at your flustered state. He knew getting you all riled up would lead to some seriously earth shattering sex, and he couldn't wait. But first, he definitely wanted to tease you, to push you over the edge, just a little more.

Your room was on the 16th floor, and as the two of you made your way into the elevator, he eyed you up and down, eyes lingering on the curve of your breasts. The minute the door shut, he pushed you against the wall, capturing your lips in a steamy kiss you'd be remembering the next day. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing hard, eliciting a moan from your lips. The moment your lips parted, he was pushing his tongue into yours, his other hand coming up to pull on your hair roughly, relishing in the gasp that left your lips. As suddenly as he started, he stopped, pulling back and standing almost nonchalantly against the wall.

Trying to wrap your head around what happened, you gripped the wall with your hand, feeling your legs grow weak to a point where you felt like you couldn't stand on your own. You could feel your wetness dripping, threatening to run down your thighs, as the throbbing became even more painfully exciting. You looked down at the floor, eyes closing as your frustration grew more and more by the second. Finally, with a little 'ding', the elevator stopped at the 16th floor. The moment the door opened you stepped out on wobbly legs, trying your best to walk properly. But of course, that wasn't going to happen. As you turned one long corridor, Lewis suddenly grabbed your waist, pushing you against the wall again, to reach down and suck on your neck. You let out a gasp, and tried to run your crotch against his, but the retaliated with a slap to your ass, smirking when a high pitched moan left your lips. Lifting you up against the wall, he mumbled against your ear "the key card" your clouded mind was unable to process the words, too consumed by slight relief you were getting. "Get the key card baby" he repeated. This time you noted it, reaching down to his pants pocket to pull out the key card. You couldn't resist running your hand over his cock, feeling how rock hard he was. The thought of him fucking you senseless returned, and you let out a groan.

Grabbing the card from your hand, he opened the door, propping you up against the door in your bedroom. His eyes were filled with a raw, animal desire, as he dropped the card on the floor and reached up to unzip your dress. He ripped the zipper down, your dress falling to the floor in a crumpled heap. He locked his eyes on your heaving chest, hand reaching up to grab your chin, pulling you in for a searing kiss. His hand slid up your torso, reaching behind to unhook the red lacy bra you were wearing, letting it drop to the floor as he took in the glorious sight in front of him. You waited, wanting him to just touch you, but he just stared, eyes looking into yours, clearly saying "beg for it"

You couldn't help the soft "please" that left your lips, too desperate for some sort of touch. "Please what?' Lewis said, tightening his grip on your waist. "Please" was all you could say again, nearly whimpering again at the rough look in his eyes. "Use your words baby. Now, please what?" "Please just touch me!" You finally gasped out, moaning loudly when he licked a stripe down your chest before taking your right tit into his mouth. His hand fondled the left one, running his thumb over your erect nipple, the rough pad of his thumb sending shockwaves of pleasure through your body. His mouth sucked on the skin of your tit, before moving down to bite down on your nipple. You gasped again, pain and pleasure coursing through your body as his tongue ran over your nipple over and over till it nearly felt raw. He switched his actions, moving his mouth to your left tit instead, letting his hand harshly fondle the other. He continued the same process of biting, licking and sucking, till he was satisfied with himself. "I fucking love this baby. Seeing you all wet and needy for me. So what do you want? My mouth? My fingers? My cock? Or does my baby want them all ?" He asked, watching as your pupils dilated and you let out a strangled moan.

You let your crotch rub against his thigh, gasping when the friction went straight to your core. "Look at you darling. I asked you what you what you wanted, and you picked my thighs? Well, I want to see you dripping. I want to see you cum on my fingers, my mouth, my thighs and especially on my cock. I'm going to make you cum over and over and over again till you can't even stand on your own fucking legs. I want your thighs to be shaking around my head. I want to see you moan and groan and scream my name so loud, by tomorrow everyone in this hotel will know my name, because you'll spend all night screaming it" you moaned again, his words going straight to your core."Please Lewis, God, just make me cum please!" The desperation of your cry was enough for him to carry you to the bed, dropping your body onto the soft mattress.

He pulled of shirt, unbuttoning every button so you could see him do it. He could see your eyes grow dark, as his compass tattoo came into sight. You had told him it was one of your favourites, and he had used it against you ever since you had told him that. Smirking at you, he climbed onto the bed, lying down between your legs. You pushed yourself up against the headboard, spreading your legs wide for him. His eyes grew dark, as your core came into his view, shimmering with your juices. A near animalistic growl left his mouth, the sound hitting your core. He moved so that he was situated right in front of your core. He let his eyes take in the sight of you in front of him, snapping back to reality when you let out a groan of frustration. Throwing you a devilishly reassuring smile, he inched neared and nearer, till his nose was nearly touching your clit. Then he just lay there. Not moving. You could feel your heartbeat hammering against your chest, chest heaving up and down, an alarming intense feeling growing in your tummy. Finally, when it became too much you let out a small scream of frustration "Oh for fucks sake Lewis please just fuck me!" Your outburst brought a smile to his face. "Oh I will. Just not yet" and with that, he ran a finger along your slit, before finally slipping it into you. You let out a moan, finally getting the friction you had been desperate for. His fingers circled your clit, thumb gently pressing down, before he removed it,only to slam it back down on your sensitive clit, earning a scream of pleasure from you.

He slipped a second finger into you, scissoring around your clit, as your desperate cries of "oh, oh baby! Fuck, fuck lewis-" were lost in the heat of the moment. He leaned his head down to your core, letting his tongue run along your slit too, before licking around it, collecting your wetness on his tongue, before letting it harshly circle your clit. You bucked up into his mouth, feeling his tongue wrap around your clit. He sucked the nub harshly, his fingers still moving in and out of you. "Oh God, Oh GOD, Lew-I- oh! Oh God!" Your broken moans were music to his ears as he sucked your clit into his mouth. You could feel a strange intensity growing in your stomach, feeling a lot stronger than your usual orgasm. The band in your tummy was threatening to snap, but you needed that something more to help it snap. That something more came when Lewis sucked your clit into his mouth, letting it rest in between his teeth, before flicking it with his tongue.

With a cry of "Oh fucking hell, Lew-" you camr gushing into his mouth, your juices coating his fingers and gushing onto his tongue, as he let you ride out your orgasm on his deadly skilled tongue. Well, he had got his wish. Your thighs were shaking around his head, as your body tried to come to terms with the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your body. Looking down, you saw him with his painfully hard cock, grinding down on the sheet, as he let out a moan at the relief the bedsheets gave him. Raising an eyebrow, you patted your thigh, signaling him to come over to you. "You loved on me so well bubs. But I can see how hard you are. Do you want to use me to get off?" You asked, watching the effect you had on him. All he could do was nod, as you sat up on your knees. "Stand up" you ordered, getting up from the bed as well.

You walked over to the wall, letting your body rest against it. Somewhat confused, Lewis followed you, standing in the space between your legs. "I tried to get off using your thighs didn't I? I think you'll enjoy it as much as I did. So use me. Use my thigh. Get off" looking at you in pure shock, your boyfriend moved forward, groaning when you pushed your leg against his throbbing cock. He relished in the friction, slowly beginning to move against your leg, moaning when he began to rub against your leg. He began to hump your leg faster, as the pleasure began to build up in his body, before you reached your hand down to cup his length in your hands, moaning when you realized your fingers didn't quite meet. You ran your fingers along his length. You pumped him, letting your thumb circle his sensitive tip, eliciting a soft whine from him. You circled faster, moving down to your knees, and letting your tongue run up his shaft very softly. Above you, Lewis slammed his hands against the wall, groaning when you took him into your mouth.

But a part of him still wanted to cum inside when he was fucking you (in a condom, because wrap it before you tap it) so he pulled you back up, smirking when you whined. "I know baby, but I just really wanna fuck you now. Back on the bed please, unless you want me to take you here against this wall" practically running, you clambered onto the bed. You watched as Lewis pulled out a condom, ripping the packet open before climbing back on top of you. He let his hand rest on your hip, eyes temporarily losing some of the animalistic need that had been present in them. Leaning down, he connected your lips together in a kiss, a searing, intense kiss that took your breath away. "Ready love?" He asked, looking into your eyes, looking to see if there was even a slight hint that you didn't want this. But you did.

With a sudden jolt, he thrust himself into you, groaning when your warm walls clamped down on him. His hips thrust into you, starting off slow, letting you adjust to his massive length. "My sweet baby,taking me so well. Does it feel good?" You couldn't even respond, mouth agape, as his the pace of his thrusts increased. "Answer me" he said, suddenly stopping. Almost crying out at the loss of pleasure, you looked at him with desperation. "Yes yes, fuck it feels so good, please don't stop!" "Thats all you had to say baby" he said, before pushing in again, slowly. Then, he pulled back out. Looking at him in confusion, you gasped when he slammed back into you, a high pitched moan of "Lewis!" leaving your lips. He moved so that he had a better hold of your hips, rocking the both of you back and forth, the intensity of his thrusts was so much that the bed knocked back against the wall. What he wasn't expecting was for you to take his left thumb up to your mouth, running your tongue over it before sucking on it.

Moaning, he started thrusting into you even harder, shifting so that he was directly hitting your g spot. "Oh, God ! Oh fuck, Baby that feels so good please keep going keep-oh!" The cry that left your lips was so loud, you were sure Perrie in the room next to yours had heard you. "Fuck baby, you take me so well" Lewis said, as he nearly hammered your g spot. He was so, so damn close to cumming, and when you leant up and bit a sensitive spot on his neck, he came, gushing into the guard between you two, but he wanted you to cum to, so he reached down to pinch and rub your clit, still riding out his orgasm in you, moaning when you came with a scream. He winced when your core spasmed on his sensitive cock, and he pulled out slowly, before collapsing next to you. Panting, you curled up to him, letting your hand rest on his compass tattoo. "Okay that was Godlike" you said, earning a tired laugh from your lover.

"Yeah it really was. I missed you" he said, allowing you to nuzzle into his neck, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. "I missed you too" you replied, kissing the tattoo. "I love you too" As you lay there together, still revelling in the moment, your phone buzzed. Reaching over to check it, you saw your groupchat with the girls flooding with messages.

-*-*-

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Y/N, I'm filing a noise complaint. 🍆

Jade ✨ - Pez 😂 let them be. It's been a while for her.

Leigh 🦋- She really got some tonight huh? 😏

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️- LOL she did !! And it was obviously some goooood 'some' *wink wink*

Jade ✨- I could hear em too, and Im on the other end of the hall.

Leigh 🦋 - I know I did too! Must be some damn good sex. 😏

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Go Y/N !!

Jade ✨ - Can't wait till she reads this.

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Are they still going?!

Leigh 🦋 - No 😂 she's reading the messages. Y/N!! Yoohoo!

You - yes I'm here 🖕🏽

Jade ✨ - Did you have fun babe 😏

You - ..... yes

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - babe you can't really say no because we heard you

You- Im not saying I didn't have fun. But you guys need to calm down.

Leigh 🦋 - But its funnn

You - okay byeeee ❤

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - Going for a round 2 😏?

You - okay I said bye.

Leigh 🦋 - she is !!

Jade ✨ - Go babe !

You - I need to leave this group.

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - No we love you !! ❤

Leigh 🦋 - Yeah don't leave us ❤

Jade ✨- Don't leave meee ! ❤

You - Haha I'd never leave you girls ❤ now bye.

Jade ✨ - bye babe !

Perrie 🧚🏻‍♀️ - bye you sexy minx 😏

Leigh - bye hun 💙

*-*-*

Smiling to yourself, you put your phone away, to see Lewis looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "Who was it?" "Just the girls" you said, cuddling back up to him. "What did they say?" Giggling, you looked up to him and kissed his neck. "They said they're going to file a noise complaint. And they asked me if we were going for a round two" "Were we really that loud?" He asked, looking at you in surprise. "Yeah, even Leigh heard us and she's at the end of the hall!" "Damn" Lewis said laughing. "Well," he said, looking at you again, with a cheeky look in his eye, "they were right about one thing" "And what is that?" You asked, smiling at him mischievously. "We are going for a round two"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

@maxverstappenx @grandestrategia (because you are worth it 🦋💙)

#lewis hamilton #formula 1 #f1 #sir lewis #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x reader smut #lewis hamilton smut #lewis hamilton imagines #lewis hamilton imagine #f1 imagines #f1 imagine #f1 smut #f1 drivers x reader #f1 drivers imagines #f1 drivers smut #littlemix!reader #little mix 🙌🏼🦋#little mix

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yannowhatigiveup · 3 years

Text

A Blinded Kiss

I haven’t posted anything recently so I dug around in my WIPs to see if anything was even worth posting and I found this that I made a while ago. It certainly isn’t the best but it isn’t the worst out of all my other WIPs.

"Is this really necessary?" The bluenette asked, eyeing a blindfold given by her brotherly figure.

"Of course it is Pixie!" An older man with two-toned hair replied, way too over enthusiastic about the whole situation. "It's a great way to find your way around the manor”

"And it's a great family bonding experience too!" Another man in the room replied, even more enthusiastic than the first.

"Fine, I'll do it Jay" the blue-eyed girl huffed, twirling the blindfold between her fingers. "What are the rules again, Dick?"

Dick beamed at the girl before answering. "Well Mari, it's simple. Put the blindfold on, count to fifty, spin around and try to steal a hug from anyone in the manor"

"So I have to walk around the manor blindfolded and try to sneak up on you? You know that's impossible!" Marinette exclaimed, she would not go around the house looking like a touch-starved fool.

"That's exactly why we're doing it" Jason replied, shrugging his shoulders. "It'll last a long time."

After a few seconds, the blue-eyed girl sighed, giving in to both Jason and Dick. "Fine, if that's what makes you happy" Marinette wrapped the matte-black fabric tightly around her eyes, already struggling within the first few seconds. She began counting and she heard the two scuffling away, smiling while being able to tell which direction they went in. In the mean time, Marinette debated her options.

'Both Jason and Dick would be the ideal choices but they'll be able to hear me from a mile away. Tim would be the most logical one since he's half asleep, but where does he even go in this maze? God knows where Alfred is, Mr Wayne is scary. Damian-' She paused her train of thoughts, granted Marinette had only met him a few days ago but that didn't stop the crush she had heavily try to cease. 'He'd probably hear me from a mile away as well. This game is so unfair'

Soon enough, Marinette reached fifty and spun herself around, she used a bit too much force than needed so now not only was she blinded but she lost her sense of direction. Giving herself a minute to recover, the bluenette began to walk. Using her improved senses, thanks to the miraculous, Mari was slowly able to create a theoretical map in her mind, though it did take much more energy than she desired.

"Fighting an akuma is easier than this" The bluenette muttered as she hit her thigh along the corner of a wall.

Even though she was using her enhanced abilities, she'd pump into a corner or a wall every now and again, the amount of times increased when her energy was being used. After wondering a hall for what seemed like hours, the bluenette came to a staircase, one that she ever so carefully used to get to a higher floor. Once she did, she kept a hand on one of the walls, using it as a guide. Soon enough, her hand came to what felt like a doorframe. The door was closed she could tell but it was recent used due to the fact that the doorknob was warm. Making sure not to intrude, she knocked on said door, she almost missed the muffled 'come in' had she not been paying attention. Marinette opened the door, went in and quickly shut it behind her, taking a deep breath.

"Okay I hope you don't mind but which room is this and whose in the room? Dick and Jason thought it would be a good idea to walk around the manor blindfolded while trying to sneak up on them" The bluenette huffed, only to freeze when she heard a familiar chuckle.

"I've heard, you're in my room, It's Damian just to clarify" 'Sh-' "So, what task must be fulfilled to give you permission to take the blindfold off? I doubt you want to keep it on any longer" Marinette giggled.

"You're right, I would probably get lost of I continue. Um, I have to 'steal a hug' apparently"

"So you have to hug someone without them inspecting it" Damian came to that conclusion to which the bluenette nodded her head.

"Yeah that's basically it, hey do you have anywhere I could sit down? I'm getting tired..."

"Of course, my bed is five steps to your front and two steps to your right, make yourself comfortable" She wasn't sure how red she had gotten but she obliged anyway. Had she not been wearing the blindfold, she would've seen Damian smiling at her flustered state. Giving herself a moment to regain her energy, Marinette turned to where she presumed Damian was working at his desk. "Can I hug you? Jay never said I couldn't ask the person first. I-I won't if you don't want me to! I just wanted to ask so..."

She heard the boy thoughtfully hum before he made his way over to her. From what she could tell, Damian was now in front of Marinette, looming over her.

"Did Todd or Grayson say it had to be a hug?" Marinette tilted her head in confusion and thoughtfulness, that had never crossed her mind before.

"W-"

"What happens if I kiss you instead?"

The bluenette didn’t reply with words as she knew how terrible her words would be in her flustered state. But she wanted this, her heart longed for it in a way it never did for anyone else. Instead, she nodded, giving the green-eyed boy permission to do as he wished.

She felt his hand lightly tilt her chin up towards, where she presumed, his face was. Then he pressed his lips onto hers, his other had behind her head, tugging at the fabric around her eyes. Marinette felt bliss, she was glad that no one else would interrupt this moment. Shivers went down her spine as she felt Damian’s hands travel up from behind her neck and to wear the blindfold was knotted, gently tugging at the binding. She was glad that when her face was free from the fabric that comprised her vision, the first thing in her line of eyesight were Damian's deep emerald eyes, the shimmered the same way they had when she first laid eyes on him, she'd been enraptured ever since. The boy, however, was smirking as he noticed the pink that dusted her face. Without a moment passing, she threw herself the green-eyed boy, delivering a hug. As she pulled away, her hands cupped his face and she returned his embrace with one of her own. When she pulled away once more, she smiled in satisfaction at his flustered expression.

"When did you realise you had feelings for me?" Marinette asked softly, her forehead pressed against his trying to regain her breath.

"That's a very easy question" Damian stared lovingly into her eyes. "I fell the moment I saw you take down that Akuma three times your size" Her eyes widened.

"You know about me being Ladybug?"

"The same way you know I'm Robin"

They both smiled, creating a truce to not reveal anything.

"Well I better get going, see you later." She got up from the bed and opened the door, only to turn around and say "Je t'aime mon cœur" before exiting the room, leaving a blushing Damian.

Marinette walked back down the stairs, the piece of cloth in hand and small love-struck smile on her face. When she entered the main living room, she came face to face with the owner of the manor.

"Oh hello Mr Wayne"

"Hello Marinette, I see you managed to get the blindfold off" The older man gestured towards the piece of fabric in her hand. "And please, do call me Bruce. Who did you end up surprising with a hug then?"

She smiled brightly before replying. "Damian"

His usual formal demeanor broke for a moment but Bruce quickly picked the pieces back up. "He didn't attack you or injure you in any shape or form?"

Marinette decided to play the oblivious little girl. "No..? Why, does he do it often?" Her head titled in confusion.

"Nothing it doesn't matter" Bruce simply sighed and shook his head. "Also, there's something I'd like to discuss with you at dinner, if you don't mind"

"No not at all, I'll see you at dinner then?" Bruce nodded and left, leaving Marinette alone in the room, waiting for her honorary older brother and his brother to come in. Which they did but only after some time, it was hilarious to see them crouched down, talking to each other in hushed voices. They flinched as she cleared her throat, both slowly turning towards the sound to find a smug looking Marinette and a blindfold whipped around her finger.

"I win"

~~~

Most of the occupants at the table were either in an all out war or were about to be, except for Marinette and an exasperated Bruce Wayne.

"So Marinette" The eldest Wayne began, silencing the rest of the table. "I hope you don't mind me asking but when you were off searching for Jason, you mentioned attacks that have been occurring in Paris, is this true?"

No one failed to notice the girl flinch. "Yeah it's true"

"...how bad are the attacks? In your opinion"

"Well it depends on how strong the person's emotions are really. If their emotions are strong, then the Akuma is strong too"

"What's the strongest akuma that Paris has seen?" It was Tim who asked and memories of the event began swimming through her mind, she got rid of them with a shake of her head.

"The deadliest akuma Paris has experienced was an akuma called 'Syren'. She's a regular person but, as an akuma, she managed to kill around 2 million people. But don't worry! Ladybug's cure managed to bring them back to life"

"D-did... did you die, Pixie?" Jason asked, his anger mixed with worry was boiling over and luckily simmered after seeing her shake her head.

"Do you think the heroes of Paris would let heroes from the Justice League come over to help?"

Marinette contemplated for a moment, should she really risk the heroes getting akumatized? "I think they would but I wouldn't know"

Bruce nodded while Jason leaned over the table to talk closer to his honorary little-sister. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't want to bother you"

"You're not a bother, Pixie" Jason smiled at the bluenette on the other side of the table. "You never are and you never will be"

~~~

Marinette returned to Paris a few days later, in the mean time, Bruce and the rest of the batfam were planning their visit to the City of Love. Soon enough, the vigilantes were boarded on the plane. Their flight to Paris was relatively silent. After a few hours, they landed and the vigilantes waited on the Eiffel Tower, only to find out there was a battle going on. Before they could engage in the fight, they were engulfed with magical ladybugs that seemed to fix anything destroyed. As they were mesmerized by the cure, a certain spotted-heroine wobbly landed on the platform. Batman was first to notice.

"Ladybug" His voice caused the others to turn around. "Thank you for allowing us into your city"

Ladybug nodded, not uttering a single word.

"We were hoping, with your permission of course, that we could help you be rid of Hawkmoth once and for good" Again, Ladybug didn't reply. "Ladybug?"

When the heroine didn't respond, Batman glanced at Nightwing and the rest of his sons, clearly something was wrong. Unexpectedly, Robin took his glove off, approached the Ladybug-themed hero and placed his hand onto her forehead.

"You have a fever" he stated, his hand trailing down her face to cup her cheek. His family all shot him weird looks. She tiredly blinked at the vigilante, recognising him as Robin and allowed herself to fall into his arms, detransforming while doing so, leaving a burning hot Marinette.

"Dami?" He hummed. "Take me home, please..." She drifted off to sleep, comforted in her lover's arms. He glanced at his family, holding the bluenette close.

"Pixie...is Ladybug?" Red Hood's voice was first.

"You didn't know?" Robin's voice mocking confusion, enraging Red Hood that his youngest brother knew something about his sister that he didn't. Even more so that his demon brother was holding said sister,

"We should take her back home" Dick went over to feel the girl's forehead. "She's burning"

"Tikki?" Robin asked and a red creature flew out from one of Mari's pockets, startling most of the people there.

"I'll try to heal her on the way, follow me"

The floating red creature flew down from the Eiffel Tower, Robin and Marinette close behind. After some hesitation, the others followed, they ended up on top of a bakery. One by one, they entered through the trapdoor on the balcony, finding both Damian with his mask off and a weak looking Marinette. Despite her enfeebled state, the bluenette greeted each vigilante, her gaze landed on Jason.

"It's just a fever, I'll be fine"

Jason removed his helmet and ran a hand through his hair before both settled on his hips. "You don't look fine"

"I promise I am" She wasn't convincing, not at all.

"Fine" Jason huffed, he could never truly say no to the girl he viewed as his little sister. "But since when were you two a thing" He pointed at the two, his gaze resting maliciously on Damian.

"It's all thanks to you, you know" Marinette smirked at Jason's confusion. Tim snickered as he seemed to catch on to what she was saying.

"Had you not organized that 'blindfolded game', I doubt we would be together at this moment" Damian supplied the information, clearly unfazed by the burning rage in the eyes of his older brother.

"Baby Bird's all grown up" The eldest Wayne son overdramatized wiping a fake tear, Batman sighed at his two eldest sons while pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Get your fucking hands off her, Demon Brat!" Jason tried to lunge at Damian, only to be stopped by both Dick and Tim. Though his fury only grew when Marinette snuggled closer to the green-eyed boy, both smirked in victory over Jason's horrified appearance.

Marinette was now part of the family in more ways than one. Though they wish they had found out in better circumstances, they would be able to take down Hawkmoth once and for all, side by side, all together. And to think this all happened because of a silly blindfold game.

#daminette #damian x marinette #maribat #maridami #marinette x damian #mlb x dc #ml x dc #big brother jason #this is eh I guess

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ratcandy · 3 years

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Subcon Forest Analysis

Hi everyone I'm here to spill my aggressive overflowing thoughts on Subcon Forest and what it represents because it's been driving me insane since I finished the Sleepy Subcon time rift. Okay let's go. Obvious spoilers for AHIT ahead so proceed with caution.

This is also very, very long.

Disclaimer/warning: I will be discussing abusive/unhealthy relationships in this analysis. I mean. Vanessa. Come on. Also, there is a section on the nooses, and that delves, of course, into mentions of suicide. It will be sectioned off and easily skipped, but if you'd rather be safe and skip the entire post, that's completely understandable! Please stay safe. <3

Alright. Main point to be had here:

Subcon Forest is a giant extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character.

You all get to now listen to me spout nonsense about metaphors and symbolism because I'm a sucker for analysis and I'm given an opportunity to go ham. So perish.

The Ice

Let's start with the most obvious and most glaring thing in Subcon. The ice. It's everywhere. Not just outside Vanessa's manor, either; no, it's throughout the village, too. Shows up in the well and in random locations sprinkled about. When it comes to literal plot, we know that ice is just what lingers after Vanessa's wintery curse on Subcon. But going deeper and analyzing the meaning behind it?

Well, let's look at this from the perspective I've suggested. Subcon Forest being an extended metaphor for Snatcher's mind and character. A symbol for Vanessa then litters his mind, enough where it's certainly noticeable at first but blends in more easily once more of Subcon is unlocked to Hat Kid. This is clearly meant to be his lingering trauma, whether or not he wants to acknowledge it. Which he doesn't, as he never mentions it directly in his forest (that I can recall). Her influence plagues him, as to be expected with the traumatic experiences he went through with her. Breaking the ice is something Hat Kid must do in order to fulfill the wishes of the Fire Spirits (another subject I'll get into shortly), which, if self-indulgently playing with the found family idea, could mean that Hat Kid is helping him heal; if indirectly. Even if fulfilling the Fire Spirits' wish to die is... counterproductive, in that measure, which I'm now getting ahead of myself so hold on a sec!!

Vanessa. Ice. Everywhere. Traces of it all over his forest. That's the effects of an abusive relationship! Especially in a worst-case scenario where... yknow! One party in the relationship dies! So of course ice would be everywhere.

In and of itself, ice is a common symbol in literature and other forms of media. In this case, it's presented as an antagonistic force; emphasis is placed upon freezing and the harm that comes with it. The cold is unwelcoming, threatening, merciless. Snow can act as an insulating force, at least, but ice cannot. It can only make things colder.

A slight stretch: Seeing as this game deals a lot with time shenaniganry, I'm not sure if it'd be too out of left field to connect "freezing" with the theme of time. Yknow. Frozen in time. Both parties here, Snatcher and Vanessa, would be in this frozen state. One largely repressing it and never fully moving on, and the other doomed to her isolation ever since the event in question. They never moved past that moment after the Prince and florist's interaction.

The Fire Spirits (& the Portraits)

I'll put a slight warning here for suicidal ideation, if only because... it's the Fire Spirits we're talking about. It's not as grossly in-detail as the noose discussion will be, though, so make of that what you will.

To me, the Fire Spirits are a very interesting case. After all, they're fire. They're a direct contrast to the ice, thus being the only thing we're shown that could potentially melt it. The Fire Spirits, in my opinion, represent hope or a strength to continue. A strength to move on after troubles of the past.

...And that hope wants to die.

The Fire Spirits wish to burn out, to leave this mortal coil and abandon the forest to the cold. They make no effort to melt the ice, they simply dance, blissfully ignorant towards their surroundings. This being a metaphor for Snatcher's own hope for moving on is made all the more obvious by the fact he wants them gone. The first contract is to kill the Fire Spirits, to kill the hope. Perhaps he believes that sort of thing to be fruitless or naïve, so it only clutters his mind or has him foolishly optimistic at points. So, get rid of it. And the hope is happy to oblige.

(That, or their willingness to leave the forest to its own suffering and not aid in the ice's thaw angers him. Besides the whole "bark bark growl I can't get to parts of my forest because of them!!" which... also could represent a naïve hope clouding his judgement, not allowing him to see a bigger picture. But hope can't all be lost if one wants to move forward...)

A little side-tangent now on the portraits! And it's another slight stretch but the idea is in my head and I can't let it go. Portraits are another common symbol, usually being a physical representation of a memory or idea. For our purposes, let's say they're memories. I know in canon they appear to just hold souls captive or something but for now we're just Ignoring That(tm). The Fire Spirits have to burn the portraits to disappear. See where I'm going with this, maybe?

Instead of handling bad memories (or perhaps memories of the past in general) in any healthy manner, Snatcher chooses to forget/repress them, which just allows his hope to progressively die out.

I'm really hoping this is making sense because it makes a lot of sense to me but I might be insane rn

The Fact that this is a Forest

Forest symbolism breakdown! What's a forest usually mean in literature? "Traditionally, the forest has come to represent being lost, exploration and potential danger as well as mystery and 'other worldliness'." Okay. Yeah. Fair enough. That certainly works with the whole aesthetic we've got going on. Wood usually is life, growth and strength. But the trees of subcon are all dead. So what about that? It stands for death, big whoop, very spooky, we know Snatcher's dead and so are the children, yadda yadda wowie wowie. But. :) The trees in Subcon look a lot like trees that were scorched in a forest fire. Don't believe me?

(You could also argue they're just regular marsh/swamp trees bUT SSHHSUUHSH HANG ON HEAR ME OUT LOOK LOOK,)

What I believe to have happened was a controlled fire to rid the forest of the majority of its ice and snow. Likely done by Snatcher. It leaves behind a very desolate, depressing, barren scene... but. What else do dead/burnt trees symbolize? Rebirth. After all, controlled fires happen to make way for new trees to take the place of old ones. Some trees only drop seeds in fires/hot temperatures, so new ones take root and begin anew. Weird. It's almost like... I dunno. Snatcher was given some sorta second chance, given he's not just a corpse in Vanessa's cellar. So were the subconites. Another life given then by Snatcher. All connected I tell ya!!

Generally, aside from that, forests have many connotations. Mystery, isolation, claustrophobia; a place to dwell on regrets, or the past; to worry over one's future; to seek escape from or escape inside of... hmgmrnmm!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The Nooses

The t/w is given at the top and another cut-off point will follow the bottom of this, for those that would like to skip. This will delve into talk of suicide and abusive tactics used by abusers. Please don't read if it will upset you or make you feel unsafe!!!

Personally, I cannot stand the nooses, but that's just due to my own triggers. Were there a way to hide those from the game or replace the damned talking ones with anything else. I would take it. In a heartbeat. But I can still appreciate the potential analysis to be had with them. So now i'm gonna talk about it despite how uncomfortable it will make me to do so. yEa

So, what about 'em? There are three types of nooses seen in Subcon. At least that I remember but I didn't really go looking for them. Empty ones, ones containing empty subconites, and the talking ones.

Nooses in general obviously can hint towards suicidal thoughts or behaviors of the characters that interact with them. If saying Subcon is Snatcher's mind, it could suggest that he suffered from some sort of suicidal thoughts in life (or currently, if second death is possible... or if he never truly died... or maybe he's trying to figure that out...which has given me... a separate idea...uh oh). But. And hear me out. Different perspective.

A talking noose. I hate them with a fiery passion that is unmatched. But think of the packed symbolism of a noose that talks. And think more about what it says. "I wouldn't mind being strapped around a cute neck like yours." "Be careful now, I don't want to see you meet a miserable end anywhere, but with me." Oddly, a lot of what the noose says seems almost... endearing? One could argue it's a way of luring someone to put it around their necks, which in and of itself is a whole lot to unpack when it comes to suicidal thoughts beckoning one forward; painting itself as something romantic, almost. But. Here's a wild idea, now. What if the nooses, at least the talking ones, are another symbol for Vanessa?

They're tinted blue, after all. While Vanessa's scheme is more red, one could argue two things: One, ice. Blue. Ice. yeah. Or two, the fact that Snatcher's scheme is more purple. Blue and red... make... purple. So, for all we know, Snatcher's current state was a compound effort between suicidal thoughts and Vanessa's treatment of him. Perhaps he even found a way to put himself out of his misery before freezing/starving to death. (I know he has dialogue that argues against that, but... are we certain Snatcher would be the kind to admit suicide over freezing to death?... I don't think so.)

At any rate, a common threat by those in "control" of an abusive relationship is that of killing themselves should the other person not do as they desire. It's a cruel form of emotional manipulation to get their way, worse off if the other party is an empathetic individual. As a person who has been the empathetic individual in relationships like this... I would know. I've been here, unfortunately So, it's not completely out of the question to say Vanessa could've used some tactic like that, even before the whole... cellar ordeal. Did she? I dunno. I'm tossing ideas around. But if she did, the threats of such would sit around in the Prince's mind easily. Even if she has a reputation of not going through with it. It doesn't matter. That shit sticks with you forever, that scare, the potential of it ever being true, is horrifying and it ruins you. I'm projecting, Squirtle.

Still. A noose cannot hang itself. It has to have a victim.

...yea.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- T / W PASSED -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Misc. Ideas

- The spiders: Aside from the usual things spiders can be chalked up to symbolizing - toxicity, alluring danger, just... general pain - I like the potential wordplay that can happen here. Yknow. A black widow. Say the Prince and Vanessa were married when one died. What would that leave Vanessa? A widow. ...She's red and black, too. Yknow. Like a black widow. HA wordplay is fun isn't it?

- Snatcher's tree: Love this place, love sitting in here. But not the point! The inside of Snatcher's tree is such a harsh juxtaposition to the rest of Subcon that it kinda throws ya off guard. After all, the dark, purples and blues then contrasted with the bright warm colors of the inside. Even the music switches over. The thorns outside aren't present indoors. Ohh yeah this is gonna be on the nose as hell but the Tree(tm) is 100% representing Snatcher's appearance/put-on personality vs. his truer nature. Spooky outside with thorns, foreboding, unwelcoming. Then the more comfortable interior. VULnerable. Have I even mentioned that the tree is HOLLOW I mean COME ON. The sturdiness of that tree? Nonexistent. He's not a sturdy guy at all no matter how he fronts

- Intrusions are unwelcome: Snatcher does not like the fact that Hat Kid sticks around in his forest. His personal space. His mind. In fact he tries desperately to get rid of her after their fight, not wanting her presence in his forest at all. He has no problem providing more contracts later on with the Death Wish thing, and he finds great entertainment in messing around with Hat Kid, so it's not just a weird sudden hatred he has for her; it's the fact that. After she's finished being useful, he no longer wants her around, lest she find some things she shouldn't find. Now he's just uncomfortable with her in his personal boundaries. Could just be a denial that she's helped him heal (breaking ice, stealing from Vanessa, being something interesting for his kids to interact with) or just not really wanting a child to get wrapped up in. All that. Most likely the former. Considering the amount of joke-hints he drops regarding his background during his Death Wish dialogue. I see you funny man, making jokes out of your trauma as a coping mechanism. Punts him

Annnd I think that's all I got, for now! I'll make an update post if I get any more sporadic ideas. If you read this whole thing, thank you!! and also!! Wow that was a lot!! Hell world. Please feel free to elaborate on any of my points or debate with me on em!! I'm always open to other ideas, just be aware that if I disagree I am not shy when it comes to debate hehehe, tho I won't be aggressive to any extent I prommy!!

Alrighty. goes to sleep goodnight

#clamtalk #VERY long ramble #a hat in time #snatcher #ahit snatcher #subcon forest #vanessa ahit #ahit #analysis #the prince ahit #goes crazy. goes insane #ask to tag #i'm frazzled I can't add more tags I'll do so later

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beautifulterriblequeen · 3 years

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B2:S - Chapter 5

Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.

Here be lots of Viren deets, Best Boy Soren deets, some writing/continuity stuff, worldbuilding appreciation and half of a theory, Detective Rayla, Moon Temple geeking, Claudium and dark magic, and more!

Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.

(I know for darn sure that I wrote up a post for chapter 4, but I can't find it anywhere so I guess Tumblr ate it and I'll have to redo it at some point, but today is not that day)

Viren, my evil dude, my bad guy, coming in clutch with the worldbuilding and backstory again! If you want to know decades of information, you gotta talk to Viren. Or read his scenes, at least. Here, he seems to not sleep much when he has a big problem to analyze his way through. Solutions trump pretty much everything else in this guy's life, and he's had a really hard week with a lot of new and complicated problems. Of course he's getting sleep-deprived trying to find his way through them all.

Harrow put so much trust in Viren when he made him High Mage! He just threw himself extra hard at that Lady Justice blindfold, didn't he? Didn't really want to see what Viren was doing in his magic study, so he left Viren to his devices. And Viren has a lot of devices.

Also, this is fascinating: Viren made the secret passage to his "less official study" in Katolis Castle! And he was inspired to do so by the way his own mentor kept the Puzzle House. What else could a Puzzle House be, except a place with secret passages? Yay! secret headcanon that "the Puzzle House" is just "Katolis Castle" from Kid Viren's perspective tho

So either Viren built all of those passageways, or at least the ones to his dungeon. Which means he has to have, or know where to get, a stash of those glowing blue Moonshadow crystals. Hmmm.

I can't wait to learn more about Kpp'Ar and young Viren, btw. From this description of Viren and all his literal secret ways, it feels like another parallel between Viren and Runaan, with the whole "secretive paths, members only, insider knowledge" type stuff. Only the really cool members of this cult club get to know the secrets, and guess what, kid, you're cool now but you can never tell anyone, okay? Our secret.

Yeahhh, that'll never backfire in any way for either of them.

Kpp'Ar calling puzzles and secrets "man-made magic," though. Yes sir, knowledge is indeed power.

This chapter mentions Runaan by name, from Viren's perspective. Generally that would imply that Viren knows his name, even though assassins do not share their names, and Runaan didn't seem to give his to Viren in the first book. However, there was a scene in book one where the last paragraph switched perspective from Viren to Runaan - a technique that's very common in visual media like movies and shows and gives you that "ohoho they left the room and didn't notice this, but you do!" vibe. Using Runaan's name there in book one, where Viren couldn't see it but readers could, helps them keep track of the assassin's story arc while maintaining Viren's racism.

So in book two, in which Runaan has no onscreen scenes (alas), using his name in a scene that calls back to the events in book one helps us remember what happened in that dungeon cell. It would be a bit muddier to recall the specifics if Viren kept thinking about Runaan as "Elf." So I'm cool with the perspective nudge because it serves a narrative purpose: clarity. But I'm also enjoying the angst of considering that, somehow, Viren learned Runaan's name either during or after the coining spell. Mwa ha ha haaa. (Obligatory "Keep my pretty name outta your mouth" goes here)

Okay, back to Viren's scheming! He took the mirror because it was human-sized in a dragon lair. He knew it didn't really fit there, and that made it interesting, so he stole it. But he realized it was really powerful when Runaan wouldn't tell him squat about it - the assassin's instinct to protect Xadian secrets from human hands meant that Viren was holding a very powerful Xadian secret. And that just made him want it all the more. Ah, Runaan, if only your relationship with lying was, like, the exact opposite of what it is. Nyx could've spun Viren a believable tale in 2 minutes flat.

Also of interest: Viren considers his cursed coins to be a final fate. He expects Runaan to remain in his coin forever. With the Chekhov's coins still extant in the storyline, we can assume that they'll come up again eventually, but Viren has no current plans to do anything with his elf money except carry it around.

It's worth noting that Viren admits that he got impatient when he trapped Runaan in the coin. Runaan's first fate in Katolis was supposed to be death at Soren's hands, but Claudia "saved" him from that. His next fate was to become spell components, but Viren's frustration with his stubbornness "saved" him from that fate, too. So now he's in a coin, where no one can chop him up at all. Yay? No, boo!

We get one last line about Runaan before Viren shifts gears: he makes a point of noting for us that Runaan's shackles are still locked shut. However much of Runaan made it into that coin - body, soul, hair care products - he was magicked there, pulled right out of his restraints.

The creepy black liquid that Viren pours right into his eyes is the last of a powerful potion he got from Kpp'Ar, and its recipe is ancient! Humans used it back in the age of Elarion to see through the illusions of the world. And we get a delightfully creepy bit of description about the preparation of this serum, which makes it abundantly clear that it's a Moon magic-based concoction, harvested from eyeless vipers on a moonless night, with the threat of irrevocable madness ("madness" by whose definition, though) if it's done wrong-

Hang on. Hold up. This is a Plato's Cave reference. OH MY GOD.

No no I'm fine, this is brilliant. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't figure why there was so much description for a potion prep that Viren didn't even have to perform himself. But now I get it. I see the light. HA. I should make a separate post for this, it's amazing.

Anyway, for reference, the humans who used this serum were called the Oracles of Ophidia, and Ophidia is a taxonomy group that includes all modern snakes. Can you say "creepy ancient snake rites"? I can! Woo!

Viren activates the serum with a spell, but apparently he's never done it before. He's not sure if it's supposed to be hot and bubbly, and he worries that it's been tainted by moonlight.

Oh, I do hope so.

The magic potion hurts, a lot. Viren will do just about anything, to himself or anyone, to do what he believes is necessary. He just risked madness and blindness to find out what this mirror does! Viren. Can you just. Take a nap or something. Have a Snickers.

This chapter gives us a fun clue that I don't remember from the show: when Viren's vision clears and he can see, his reflection has white pupils and the room reflected in the mirror has inverted colors. You know where else has inverted colors?

You know who else got white pupils for a hot second?

Okay, now it makes sense! Viren and Lujanne were both seeing into the realm beyond life and death. Him with his moon magic potion, and her with her moon powers on a full moon night at the Moon Nexus. Which is Very Interesting! Is it a direct hint about Aaravos's location, or just a separate cool detail? Orrr, does it look like a direct hint because Aaravos is actually trapped in the world beyond life and death, but it's actually separate and we'll see something about white pupils again later on?

Viren really does have self-esteem issues, we all picked up on it with his rant at his reflection. He throws a fit when he catches himself wondering if he's actually worthless. In the book version of his tantrum, he shoves the mirror and hurls a candelabra instead of flipping a table. He didn't need to shove the mirror to set the fire, but it's in here. Foreshadowing that perhaps, if push comes to shove, Viren will choose himself over Aaravos? Giving Aaravos time to peek through and see that the coast is clear?

Soren, my boyyyyy. He has a rough night at the Moon Nexus because two sides of him are fighting with each other. He struggles to understand Callum's friendship with Rayla, and he also fantasizes about chopping off Rayla's head. One of these is a pretty ordinary thing to do. The other is Soren's internalization of what he needs to do to gain his father's approval. If he brought his dad a chopped off elf head every week, he'd probably feel a lot more confident because Viren would praise him a lot more.

Okay, okay, omg, is it just me, or does the "Moonshadow Madness" story, as it's told in the book, seem like Soren just doesn't know what a monsterfucker is? He thinks an elf bite puts humans under a spell. But vampires are sexy, and some people want them to do more to them than just bite them. A passionate kiss under the moonlight could look very bitey, especially if one of the participants has horns and you're already culturally trained to hate them. No yeah, I'm already headcanoning an actual human-elf kiss that got misunderstood by an observer long ago.

it's Lujanne isn't it, we all know, because what is a love spell but a sweet soft illusion, I mean how else does she get supplies for her Caldera, I ask you, and also Corvus was totally sent to investigate once and he told Soren at camp what he saw

And then back to magefam angst: Soren pretending that his sister's nose-tapping is stupid, even though he actually thinks it's cool, just because their dad thinks it's stupid. Viren, istg. Let your kids like harmless things. It's so cute that Soren taps his nose back at her, though! Like they have their own sibling code. I hope we get to see the nose tap again, especially now that they've chosen different sides. It could mean so much, that they're not too far apart yet.

Rayla knows what buttery pancakes smell like. I love this. Do Moonshadow elves have butter and pancakes, does Rayla eat a stack of eight giant pancakes in the morning? Orrrr it is just illusion food? I don't care, let Rayla have pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes. Pancakes will save the world. this message brought to you by the fact that I can't eat pancakes rn, send help

I love that Rayla is both sus of the pancakes and hungry, and that combines into a very motivated "I will get to the bottom of this" attitude. She kind of goes into Poirot Mode when she inserts herself into Soren and Ellis's conversation about Ava, explaining about the wolf's illusion leg and segueing into her claim that the pancakes taste sus. Claudia confirms she used dark magic, and Rayla is furious. It's different than the show's version in that it puts Rayla in detective mode, as the only Moonshadow elf in the scene, and boy does she take that role seriously. Also, she doesn't actually swallow the dark magic pancake bite. It ends up on the ground just like Lujanne's grubs from that earlier meal. These poor kids are so nutrient-starved. You guys gotta eat!!

Rayla's determination and prejudices and the fact that she super knows Harrow is dead all dovetail to make her try repeatedly to persuade Callum that Soren and Claudia are Not To Be Trusted. It's nice that the book keeps taking the time to point out that Rayla is Well Intentioned But Flawed, just like Callum and pretty much every other character in the show. No one is Right All The Time, no one Knows More Than Everyone Else.

Callum loving the sound of Claudia's unique voice is so wholesome. When you like someone, it only makes sense that you like all the things about them that they can't change - like the sound of Claudia's voice. Her choices with dark magic, not so much!

Claudia seems to have the same concerns Soren does about Callum's relationship with Rayla, but she comes out and asks him. The inherent possession implied in "your elf" is interesting, though. Elves are not people to Claudia. They're enemies who can be disassembled for the magic inside them. So maybe more like robots than living beings, if she knew what a robot was. Maybe she heard Soren's "Moonshadow Madness" story and realized he totally missed the kissing implications - but she didn't, and now she's genuinely worried that Rayla could kiss Callum under a full moon and enchant him to do her will. Good thing it's only a half moon, then!

Okay, Callum nervously making a puppet hand and then not knowing what to do with his hands and freaking out about itching and moving and pointy elbows is such a ND mood. The sudden stress of knowing that someone else is noticing your existence and maybe you're Not Existing Right, amirite? Ugh, poor Callum.

The Moon Temple! Omg it's so pretty in the description! Made to be beautiful and useful, full of knowledge but also allowing light and life inside (butterflies and vines). Lujanne, when can I move in, please? Also, it's all the more angsty because Lujanne is the only one who gets to see this beautiful place, but it has lots of chairs and shelves and tables, and it was meant to be used by lots of people. :(((

Claudia knows some of the runes on the walls. She isn't in a hurry to copy the rest of them down or anything, either. Her spellwriting is very precise, and she's a skilled mage. Her father would have made sure she was aware of the dangers of drawing sloppy runes, as much as he made her aware of the dangers of doing dark magic wrong. And the whole point of dark magic is that it's easier to learn than primal magic. Claudia supports her dad and their shared knowledge and life path. She's not gonna go nuts over an elf library she can't translate.

Side note: Between Claudia knowing some Moon runes and Viren building a secret passageway and a dungeon and lighting it with the same blue crystals that Lujanne and Ethari use for light--and Claudia exclaiming that she loves ruins--I wonder once more if there are really Moonshadow ruins somewhere in Katolis, which Viren has found and looted. Father-daughter relic hunting trip, maybe while Soren is away at camp? Omgsh that would be so wild!

Callum out here having a Viren moment with his "I feel powerless unless I've got magic that lets me help" vibes. God. I love their complicated mirroring. One of the hard differences between them is that Callum is very sure dark magic is bad because you have to kill stuff and take its power to cast spells, and he doesn't want to be a person who kills and takes like that. The line he walks to be nice to Claudia on their tour of the Cursed Caldera because he likes her, while telling her that he doesn't want to do her magic, like, ever, is so fine that it might as well be a shifting shadow on the ground. It's a very fitting conversation to be having during the half moon, with its tricks and little white lies.

Callum being out of the castle and his comfort zone, having to deal with the fact that the Claudia he loves is not quite the Claudia who's chasing him down across the kingdom, but of the two of them, he's the only one with a problem with this.

They say that if you really want to get to know someone, you should spend time with them outside their comfort zone - in heavy traffic, with a small baby, taking care of a new pet, trying a new skill, following unfamiliar directions, etc. While the castle is familiar territory for them both, Callum's never really found his comfort zone yet, while Claudia is pretty comfortable with her growing skill set. The creepy part starts to kick in when Callum begins to realize that Claudia's comfort zone encompasses a whole bunch of stuff that seems like it should make her uncomfortable... but it doesn't. But that'll be for a future chapter!

#book two: sky spoilers #book two: sky #b2:s #tdp spoilers #viren #harrow #rayla #runaan #callum #claudia #soren #lujanne #moonshadow elves #aaravos

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"...So I Married A Monster" *Chapter 6*

Note I was going to put a 'rough sex' gif under the cut for Lewis's shot, but I don't know if people want that. So here's a scared Rafael for your...pleasure?

Chapter 5

Chapter 7

Alright SO I posted a warning post earlier, but obviously I'm gonna put one here too.

This is probably the most graphic, dark chapter I've ever written for any story. With rape.

Please read at your own discretion.

Also it's a pretty short chapter, but trust me-- you wouldn't want it any longer. But I wrote another sweet short fluffy chapter after this one to make up for it.

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

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@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

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@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

@word-scribbless

@storiesofsvu

@believinghurts

--------------------------------

You did your best to keep calm and keep Billy happy as he aggressively groped at you with his hands, ripping off your shirt and then your bra before tossing you on the bed. Before all of this, you would have been super excited about the events transpiring. If there was one thing you and Billy were great at, it was sex. But somehow, this time it felt...different.

You didn’t know why, it didn’t make any sense to you. This was the same man, it was the same situation, he knew all your special places and you knew his. There were so many nights after he left you and the girls that you would dream about this moment, wishing for it so badly. But now that it was here, it almost felt...wrong.

“What’s wrong sweetie, you look like you’re somewhere else,” Billy stopped hungrily nibbling your neck to look into your eyes.

You used to look into those eyes and see such warmth and comfort, such lust and wanting. You had even told Rafael that you were still in love with Billy, so why didn’t you feel like it? Had they just been words? Words to hurt him because he hurt you by choosing Olivia?

Right now, that’s sure what it felt like. It felt like you were...cheating, on Rafael. Which was stupid, because you had literally just broken up with him. Didn't you? That’s what ‘done’ meant, right? Surely you had meant it in that moment; surely you meant it.

But now you weren’t sure.

“Hello, earth to Y/N!” Billy’s voice grew more agitated as he flicked you across the temple. He had never been so quick to anger before, you didn’t like this one bit.

“S-Sorry, baby,” You quickly put on a smile as your hand travelled down to his jeans, unhooking his belt. “It’s just been a day,”

“Oh, I know sweetheart,” He quickly changed his tune as soon as he felt you fondling with his belt. He helped you undo it and pulled off his jeans. You could feel his throbbing erection against your thigh.

“But daddy’s about to make it all better, I promise,” He gave you a sly grin.

You felt one hand wrap around your head and pulled it into his face even more aggressively than before. He began tugging at your hair as he attacked your neck and shoulders with hard, assertive bites. You remembered the sex between you two being rough, but you didn’t seem to recall it ever being this rough.

"Don't you like that, babe?" He asked as his mouth moved down your torso, pulling off your jeans this time.

"Mmmhmm…." You tried faking it as well as you could, feeling more and more uncomfortable the lower his mouth moved.

"Y'know, you used to be a LOT louder than this when we'd get down and dirty, baby girl," he observed while he moved to the end of the bed, ready to plunge inside you.

"Well Billy, the kids are in the next room," you thought of a plausible excuse as to why you weren't your "usual" self.

"Oh, makes sense," He nodded with a smile as he started chowing down on you like a sloppy dog.

You wanted to enjoy it, you tried to enjoy it, but you were accustomed to Rafael's sweet love making, he was so gentle with his tongue along your folds, taking time to enjoy every little moan and pleasure noise you made.You could often feel him smiling inside you while he gently lapped you up. You wished so badly you were with him right now. How had you fucked this up so badly?

Why didn't you listen to Rafael when he told you about Billy? Why had you not trusted him more? Why did you just react erratically just because you were mad at him? You should have thought it through, you should have heard him out. You should have--

"Alright now you're not even reacting Y/N, where the fuck are you?" Billy demanded.

"O-Oh I'm sorry Billy its just been--"

"A day. I know. You know I had a stressful fucking day too Y/N, having to deal with that prick ADA--- Wait," His eyes suddenly narrowed, he moved his face away from near your opening and looked you in the eyes, his glare in full effect.

Shit.

"Is that who you're thinking of right now? That fucking beaner?" He asked in an accusatory tone.

"He's Cuban not Mexican…." You muttered with a roll of your eyes.

"You really wanna get fucking cute with me right now, bitch?" He acted as if he was going to back hand you, but stopped himself.

"Billy!" You gasped. He had never been vulgar to you before.

"No, no Billy," He growled, pulling your naked body towards him.

"You're gonna stop thinking about that asshole right FUCKING now. I'm your goddamn husband, NOT him. I get to have you whenever I want and I want ALL of you. All of your attention, all of your fucking body. Do you understand me?" He snarled, practically drooling with rage.

"Y-Yes Billy," you tried not to start crying, now fully scared out your mind

"Good. Now flip over, I can't fucking look at you right now," He ordered you.

You flipped over to let him do doggie style but he started going in the wrong hole.

"Billy! What the fuck?" You tried not to yell.

"Well if you're gonna act like a whore thinking about other men than your husband, then I'm gonna fucking treat you like one. I'm gonna do what I want, and you're gonna shut up and take it. Got it?"

"B-Billy, please…." You pleaded with him. "Y-You know the last time we tried…"

"I don't give a FUCK, Y/N," He barked angrily. "I stopped last time because I didn't want to hurt you, because I loved you and you loved me. But now you've hurt me, so you're gonna hurt. REAL BAD," He barely rubbed some spit on his dick before he rammed it up your asshole.

You grabbed a pillow and screamed in pain, howling and trying to wriggle free from him. But he kept his hands wrapped tight around your stomach as he pumped rough and hard as fast as he could, getting off on the pain he was causing you, both mental and physical.

You tried to think of anything other than the pain, but it was so bad you could only cry and continue to scream into the pillow. It was worse than both times you went through labor, and that was saying something.

You prayed to God it would stop soon, he seemed to go on forever and ever. He was cackling softly as he felt you vibrating from the pain.

"Yeah, bet your fucking ADA didn't do you like this did he? What would he do if he saw you now? Hmmm….maybe we should find out,"

Your head snapped from out under the pillow at his threat. You saw him reaching for your phone that he had dropped next to your bed as he carried you into the bedroom.

"Oh God" You practically choked out, unable to speak from the pain. "N-n-no, Billy d-d-don't…"

"Oops would ya look at that I already did," Lewis shrugged with an evil smile.

----

Rafael was busy helping Olivia plan a rescue mission/battle plan when his phone went off. A FaceTime call request from you. He was absolutely terrified to answer it, but he had to answer it. He had to. As soon as he did, he wished he hadn't.

"Hey there Barba'' Lewis panted, a maniacal smile on his face. "You're missing all the fun!"

He could see Lewis had you pinned to the bed, shoving in and out of you forcefully. Your head was shoved into a pillow, to keep from screaming he imagined. He didn't know if he wanted you to look at him or not. He was watching you get raped, and he wanted to vomit.

Olivia noticed the horrified look on his face and stopped talking with the squad.

"Rafa are you-- ohmygod!" She instantly saw the revolting scene on his phone and immediately started pushing him into an interrogation room.

"Nobody needs to see this," Olivia started to shut the door but not before Lewis got to shout "NICE TO SEE YOU TOO DETECTIVE!!" At her.

Rafael was trying his best not to start sobbing; he didn't want to give Lewis the satisfaction. But the more he heard your muffled whimpers and screams of pain, the more he couldn't hold it back anymore.

"Lewis let her go," he begged. "Please I'll do anything you want, just let her go…."

"Well see Barba that's the problem," Lewis smirked. "I want Y/N to--" he suddenly stopped pumping you, feeling your body go limp. He angled the phone downward to reveal blood coming out of your anus and starting to cover the bed. You had passed out from the pain.

"Sorry Barba I'm gonna have to call you back, I have a situation," Lewis half laughed while wiping your blood off his dick.

"What the fuck-- LEWIS!!!" He screamed. "You better be calling a FUCKING ambulance!"

"Chill Barba, I'm sure she's fine. Just a little boo boo. I'll shove some toilet paper up there and she'll be good as new!" Lewis dismissed it, taking a pillow and putting it under your legs so the blood would at least attempt to stay in.

“Good ol’ RICE,” Lewis smirked, thinking of the old term they used in gym class back in the day. ‘Rest Immobilize Cold Elevate’.

“Now if I can get an ice pack from the freezer and tape it there…” Lewis thought out loud.

"Fuck you if you don't call one I will send one, I know exactly where you are" Rafael was losing his patience with him.

"NO, you're not," Lewis warned. "I'm not about to scare my girls by having cops and ambulances showing up here with all the bells and whistles,"

"She's going to DIE, asshole!!!" Rafael continued to scream. "You think your daughters won't notice THAT?"

"Look if she doesn't wake up in a few minutes I'll take her to an Urgent Care, tell 'em she liked it a little TOO rough, Kay?" He said flippantly.

"The fuck you will--" Rafael started to tell again but Lewis put the phone up to his face real nice and close.

"If you send ANYONE here Barba, she'll bleed out before you can touch her," He warned.

"Lewis…" Rafael was shaking. "Don't you love her? You told her you did, don't you care about her at all?"

"Of course I love her!" He snapped. "I'll always love her, she's the mother of my children. That creates a bond, greater than the two of you will ever have,"

"So why are you---"

"Because she needed to be reminded of that bond." Lewis explained. "She was thinking about you while WE were being intimate. I can't let shit like that slide, Barba," Lewis explained while gesturing to your unconscious body. He removed the pillow from your head so Rafael could the tear stained splotches on your face from screaming and crying so hard. Your face was almost white, he wasn’t even sure you were breathing.

"No…." Rafael's voice fell soft.

You had been thinking of him? Wishing you were with him? While Lewis was...having his way with you? He had caused this, he had caused your pain. You were being punished for simply loving him, and that broke his heart even more than it already was.

"You have a nice night there, counselor, ta!" Lewis's evil chuckle came through the screen before it went black.

The image of your body laying there unconscious and bleeding was going to be forever burned into Rafael's mind. He had to do something. SOMETHING.

He bursted out of the interrogation room where the team was still discussing strategy. Olivia immediately went to his side, knowing what he had just been through.

"Liv we--" he tried to stop from crying and compose himself. "We have to go there. We have to get her. We HAVE to,"

"Okay, Okay Rafa," Olivia tried to calm him down while the rest of the squad looked on in shock. They had zero idea what was happening.

"We'll go get her, it'll be okay," She assured him while trying to get him to calm down.

He hoped they wouldn't be too late.

#tw rape #rafael barba angst #rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanfiction #william lewis #william lewis angst #william lewis fanfiction #william lewis x reader #william lewis x you #william lewis imagine #william lewis x you smut

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bringingglory · 3 years

Text

@eerna oh my god acshdgagaahhdvsahsv I never expected you to see my post, so I won't lie, I feel like super embarrassed acsgsga

anyway! not gonna lie, this wip has been sitting in my drafts for months now because I wanted to see if I could plan stuff but then I got stuck because Details are hard to figure out BUT I did write out a few scenes, so I'll put them below the cut because they're kind of long. the first one is the "opening" of the fic and the second one is a sort of reimagining of the Silent Princess memory. i have a few other scenes sort of scribbled out, but these are the most "polished" of the stuff i've written alsdkfjasdfk

the opening lol

Link wakes to a faint buzzing in his ear that sends little darts of pain shooting through his skull. He waits for it to end, and when it doesn’t he groans and rolls over, smacking the space around him to find whatever was making that noise and make it shut up. He can’t fathom why his brain is rolling through his skull like that and why there’s an intense pressure behind his eyes, but when he rolls onto his side, he has to press a hand to his abdomen to settle whatever was sloshing around inside his stomach.

Ah. He’s hungover.

Link peels open his eyes and the light sends a fresh wave of pain ricocheting through his skull. He blinks once, twice, and then forces his eyes open to find a phone the size vibrating against the ground a few inches away from his hand.

Link groans and pushes himself up to a sitting position before grabbing the phone and dismissing the alarm. When the phone falls silent in his hands, he finally looks around and tries to assess the situation.

He’s sitting in a bathtub, the porcelain slightly damp from what he hopes is just water. His shirt smells vaguely of cheap vodka and he still can barely look at the sunlight streaming through the window without wincing.

A moment later, he realizes the phone in his hands isn’t his.

Link holds the phone up to his face and rubs the grogginess from his eyes. He swipes up on the screen, surprised that it isn’t protected by a password.

The phone is open on note in the notes app, and it reads:

link, if you’re reading this right now, im so sorry for leaving you in the tub like that!!! my dad’s supposed to come home from the office today and the document case i was telling you about is missing and he cant know i lost it. i know we just started getting along, and im so sorry to ask you this, but could you find the document case? impa’s in my contacts and she can help you. also you have permission to dig through my phone, just dont judge me if i have anything embarrassing on there. can you find the file by midnight? his flight leaves at 3 and i can stall him until then.

it’s 6:11 right now so i have to run before he gets back, but please hurry! i’ll be waiting for you

-zelda

Link blinks and turns the phone off.

Last night? What happened last night? Why can’t he remember anything?

Well, if his raging headache tells him anything, it’s that he had probably blacked out last night.

Link isn’t usually a drinker or a partier. He isn’t really one to go to big social events. So he’s really confused as to why he woke up passed out in a tub with zero memories.

And also, why Zelda left her phone with him.

a version of the Silent Princess memory but they're at a party and its modern

Zelda laughs. “I think I got a little too sober from the Yiga incident to enjoy the party now.”

Link isn’t sure if he’s supposed to laugh with her, but nods anyway. “Do you want to get some air?”

Zelda gives him an odd look, then sighs. “Yeah. Yes. That would be a good idea.”

Surprisingly, she grabs his forearm and leads him through all the bodies pressed against each other. He can feel the heat of her hand wrapping entirely around his arm like a hot glove, even above the heat of the late summer air and the heat from other people in close proximity.

Somehow, they make it to the other side of the house. Zelda pushes the back door open and pulls him past the other stragglers outside before they find a nice tree with a patch of grass that seems generally clear of alcohol and vomit.

Zelda releases his arm as soon as she finds the tree and she sits down, dropping her head against the trunk.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Zelda waves her hand vaguely.

Link pauses. “Do you need water?”

“If you get me any more water, I’m probably gonna piss myself,” says Zelda. “Sit down.”

He sits down.

The crickets hum vaguely around them, mingling with the distant buzzing and thumping bass of the music from the party. But without people pressing in from all sides and an open field in front of them, it finally feels like he can take a full breath.

The silence settles over them like a blanket. It feels comfortable to him, but he isn’t sure if it’s supposed to be.

“Oh, Link, look.”

Link cranes his head to see Zelda twist around and point out a blue flower glowing vaguely in the dark. It was beautiful with blue petals so light they looked almost white, and a sky blue bleeding out from the center before fading out.

He wants to give her a questioning look, but she’s transfixed on the flower. He can see the smallest of smiles creeping up onto the corners of her mouth.

“It’s a Silent Princess,” she says. “It was my mom’s favorite flower.”

He can tell something important is happening, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“She said that we can’t grow them domestically yet, despite our best efforts.” Zelda breaks into a full smile and it’s radiant. “The Princess can only thrive out here. In the wild.”

They both turn to look back at the house as another loud WHOOP cuts through the air, followed by the sound of a can being crushed against a head.

“Nature is beautiful,” says Link.

Zelda swats him and he has to bite back a laugh.

She turns and runs a gentle finger along one of the petals before sighing and leaning back against the tree.

“Thank you,” she says suddenly. “For being there with the Yiga. And for being there the whole party.” He can hear her swallow. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”

“You weren’t being a bitch,” says Link.

“I was, though.” Zelda inhales beside him. “I mean, just because I’m under a lot of stress from my dad doesn’t mean I’m allowed to take it out on other people. I was acting like a kid.”

“To be fair, your dad sounds like an asshole sometimes.”

Zelda snorts. “Yeah. He can be.” He turns his head to see her lean forward to fiddle with the grass. “But he’s got a lot on his plate. And it probably doesn’t help that his daughter doesn’t want anything to do with his ‘legacy.’”

“Just because your dad’s under a lot of pressure doesn’t mean he’s allowed to be an asshole,” Link points out.

Zelda finally looks up at him and offers him a small grin. “Fair enough.”

“And besides, you’re your own person. You don’t need to follow in his footsteps.”

“That’s what I said,” huffs Zelda. “But of course it’s, ‘blah blah you have a responsibility. I didn’t raise you like this so you could waste your time researching pointless things.’” She sighs. “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I came to this stupid party to blow off steam, I guess. But Goddess, I did not eat enough today to drink that many cans of shitty beer.”

Link sits upright, alert. “Do you need to get food or—”

“No, no, that’s fine.” And that smile returns and Link wonders what else he can say to make it stay. “You’re sweet. But I’ve probably gotten drunk enough tonight.” Her eyes slide up to him and the mischief in them stops his heart for a moment. “You still have to try the Hot Frog.”

Link blinked. “...what is that?”

the endings are abrupt on both of them just bc i wasn't entirely sure how to end them akldjfasd. also the "Hot Frog" is gonna be some kind of mixed drink that gets link really drunk -- me trying to allude more to the original memory from the game haha

anyway, thank you so much for the ask! and thank u for coming up with the shitpost because it made me laugh the first time i read it hasdklfj hopefully i'll continue this one day and do ur shitpost au justice!

#lmao i just realized i titled the fic 'the lelda of zelda: breath of the weath' bc of a meme i saw at the time of making the google doc #also this is completely unimportant but im normally a past tense kind of gal #so it was a bit of an experiment writing in present tense for this #i might end up switching to past tense again later anyway aksjdfhasd #anyway thank you again for the ask <3 #eerna #asks

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