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tilbageidanmark · 1 year

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Movies I watched this Week #102

Re-watch: Lasse Hallström‘s sweet, early paean to lost childhood, My life as a dog. One of my three favorite nostalgic films from that period about coming of age and first loves (together with Nils Malmrose’s ‘Tree of knowledge’ and Truffaut’s ‘L'Argent de poche’). 9/10.

With the oh-so-Swedish recording of "Far, jag kan inte få upp min kokosnöt" played constantly on an old record player in the summerhouse.

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Catherine Deneuve X 2 more:

🍿 My first by André Téchiné, My Favorite Season: 50-year-old Catherine Deneuve and her estranged brother Daniel Auteuil renew their tumultuous relationship when their mother’s health decline. Frankly, it was a meandering, meaningless and boring film. 2/10.

🍿 So once again, watching the absolutely wonderful The Umbrellas of Cherbourg. Is Jacques Demy’s technicolor sung-through uber-romantic musical with the ethereal Catherine Deneuve one of my most favorite movies ever? Yes. “Is this the saddest happy ending in all of movies, or the happiest sad ending?“ Yes. "Why does it always rain when we say goodbye?"

The trailer is great too.

🍿

“Why don’t you go to bed, honey. I’ll bag the Nazi and straighten up around here”...

Paul Bartel’s weird, politically-incorrect, black comedy Eating Raul. About a bald, asexual, middle-aged wine snob and his voluptuous nurse wife who kill swingers in their seedy Los Angeles apartment building. Bizarre John Waters esthetics, odd exploration of sex, murder and cannibalism during the excessive “Lifestyle” of 1982. First re-watch in 40 years.

🍿

2 with Harry Dean Stanton and 2 with actor David Lynch:

🍿 Spielberg’s newest, autobiographical The Fabelmans, his personal ‘Cinema Paradiso’. Cloyingly disappointing. The segments of movie making and even more so the scenes of movie-watching were lovely, but everything else around them, the family dynamics, the dichotomy between art and domesticity, the mother’s longing for life fulfilled, the young Jew in a gentile world, was unremarkable. Lynch cameo as John Ford. 3/10.

🍿 “...Ungatz!!...”

Harry Dean Stanton’s 206th acting credit and his very last film, Lucky, which was also one of the few (two?) in which he leads. The directing debut of ‘Norm Gunderson’, aka John Carroll Lynch. A slow, quiet and magnificent tale of a 90-year-old man looking back (and 'not’ dying by the end credits!). Shot around the poverty-stricken, God-forsaken, unincorporated tiny hamlets in the high-desert I used to hang around 12 years ago: Phelan, Twenty Nine Palms, Pearblossom, Joshua tree. I could also see myself being that reflecting, lonely old man in a couple of years, shuffling around to the local dive bar and the corner mini-mart for milk, and then back home to the cave. (Photo Above).

A few excellent characters pop up in this sparse drama, besides David Lynch: Ron Livingston, Barry Shabaka Henley, Ed Begley Jr. and a powerful reunion with Alien’s Tom Skerritt. The unexpected climax slayed!

10/10 - Best film of the week!

Extra! Extra! Harry Dean sings Canción Mixteca from ‘Paris, Texas’.

🍿 On the other side of time, Harry Dean Stanton’s first no-credit role was in Hitchcock’s The wrong man. Repeating his central theme of ‘a man wrongly accused of a crime he didn’t commit’, this was untypical for Hitchcock, because he played it here (or at least the first half of it) in a subdued, sober and haunting style, nearly like a modern Kafkaesque documentary.

Toward the end, though, the focus shifts into ‘blaming’ the wife and turning it into a misogynistic tale of the poor, weak woman who can’t handle stress, suffers a mental breakdown, and hurry, we must commit her to ‘an institution’, for her own sake. Henry Fonda was perfectly-cast as the straight-arrow, honest Catholic Everyman.

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When I studied film at the University of Copenhagen in the late 70′s, I picked Michael Cacoyannis’ classic masterpiece Iphigenia as the topic of my final paper. Iphigenia is one of the original Greek tragedies by Euripides, and the film is still as magnificent as it was 45 years ago. With unforgettable score by Mikis Theodorakis. 10/10.

🍿 Alejandro Iñárritu’s new epic Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths, his first film to be filmed fully in Mexico since 2000. A surreal, “Magic realist” exploration of a writer in a crisis of identity, a-la ‘8 1/2′. The first half had no clear vision I could see, but at the exact midpoint the story-telling turned the genuine wizardry fireworks on: When he had his talk with his father at the baño, and shrunk to a child size with a big head, in the long tracking shot walking the empty De Chirico streets, the piles of dead Spencer Tunick people, the tiny baby crawling back to the sea like a turtle... The visuals turned phantasmagoric, and the story opened up. 7/10.

🍿

Brendan Gleeson X 3, two by Martin McDonagh:

🍿 The Banshees of Inisherin, Martin McDonagh’s latest dark and unforgiving drama about the end of friendship in rural Ireland 1923. Was it a metaphor for the Irish Civil War? Or a metaphysical fairy tale about fairy women and myths?

🍿 "Oh Jesus. What a fuckin' day!" ...

Six shooter was McDonagh’s debut short, and it won him the 2006 Oscars for Live Action Short, Gleeson is a widower on a train who loses his faith in God. A train is passing through the beautiful Irish landscape, while inside death and mayhem ensue. 7/10.

I saw Martin McDonagh’s three earlier films once before (’In Bruges’, ‘Seven Psychopaths’, ‘Three billboards’), so I’ll mark to revisit them again in the future.

🍿 Re-litigating Dubya and the Neocons Iraqi wet-dream in Green Zone. Everybody forgot about this colossal clusterfuck, and moved on (except of the million dead Iraqis). So, it’s not a relevant film any more. A noisy, testosterone-laden, macho war film of the action type. I only watched it because Paul Greengrass’s Bourne trilogy is one of the only action movies I love. But his shaky-cam, quick-cut style that was effective in ‘Bourne’ is now so hectic and dizzy, choppy & headache-producing, that it’s impossible to handle.

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“It’s called the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it” X 4:

🍿 I was Finally able to see Judd Apatow’s new 4-hour biography of George Carlin’s American Dream. Carlin was an American Saint and my legendary hero, but I didn’t know that much about his personal life, especially about his moving 30-years love and marriage to his wife Brenda. There was never a deeper philosopher who could analyze America better than Carlin’s cynical - and nihilist - insights. 9/10.

🍿 So I dug up the very first episode of Saturday Night Live from October 11, 1975, hosted by Carlin, with two separate musical guests, Billy Preston and the shy, young Janis Ian. There were some classic early SNL shows, but this one was long before they discovered the formula. 🍿 “...I do that all the time. It’s the third stage of syphilis!...:

His 1992 Jammin' in New York, possibly his best HBO special, and his favorite show. Classic encapsulation and delivery, packaged in thin, black-dressed rage machine.

“... There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are!...”

🍿 And one last, short screed, Dumb Americans, from his latest Angry Old Man‘s period and final show ‘Life Is Worth Losing’.

🍿

Also, re-watching the complete Marital Ali Wong Odyssey, for the second time this year:

I guess you can call me a fan. What started as some sweet, light-headed Re-watching Divertimentos, in between weightier fair, ended up with a complete followup of everything I saw her in before: Her three Netflix standup specials Baby Cobra, Hard Knock Wife and Wong Don Wong were all explicitly-dirty, graphically-nasty, and absolutely hilarious. She was heavily pregnant during the first and second one, and all were non-stop, extreme filthy descriptions of her wild sexual life and imagination. 9/10.

She had married the son of successful wacky inventor Ken Hakuta (“Doctor Fad”), and used her husband, marriage and motherhood as a central theme of her edgy routine. So in hindsight, I am saddened to read on her updated Wikipedia bio, that they are now divorced.

Her performance is very physical, but here is the complete transcript of her last Wing Don Wong show.

🍿 I even re-watched the first film she wrote and directed, Always Be My Maybe, an Asian ‘When Sally Met Harry’, which was nearly as good.

Bonus: A 25-min. Fresh Air interview from the same year as ‘Baby Cobra’.

🍿

The imposters, the 2nd farce directed by Stanley Tucci’s after ‘Big Night’. A 30′s style screwball comedy, in the vein of Laurel and Hardy, but without any of their wit and humor. Two out-of-work actors hide as stowaways on an ocean liner, in the vain of ‘A night at the opera’ but without a single funny scene resembling that. A large ensemble cast of otherwise fine character actors couldn’t salvage this. 1/10.

🍿

6 Shorts:

🍿 The tailor, an old 6-minute comedy film by Gordon Grinberg. A black & white, nearly-silent telling of a famous Jewish Joke. (Via)

🍿 Re-watching Paperman, another 6-minute short, which won the 2012 Best Animated Short for Disney. A romantic meeting via paper airplanes in a 40′s setting.

🍿 A Short Introduction To The Disturbing Paintings of Hieronymus Bosch: Did he suffer from LSD-like hallucinations of St. Anthony’s fire? Was he simply insane?

How come Terry Gilliam never attempted to create a Bosch movie?

🍿 My 4th by British director Jonathan Glazer (before he branched out into features with ‘Sexy beast’ and others) How Jamiroquai Shot Their Iconic ‘Virtual Insanity’ Video.

🍿 The Simpsons Meet the Bocellis in ‘Feliz Navidad’ 2022 - Extreme Late-Stage-Capitalistic, boring-distopian cross-merchandising from Disney++++

🍿 And.... I’m looking forward to see Greta Gerwig’s new Barbie!

🍿

(My complete movie list is here)

#movies

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quynhanhphan · 2 months

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Week 10: Social Media Conflict

Definition of Online Harassment

Online harassment, defined as threats or offensive unwanted behaviors directed through new technology channels likely to cause harm (Jones, Mitchell & Finkelhor, 2013, p. 54), encompasses a range of detrimental actions, including name-calling, embarrassment, physical threats, sexual harassment, prolonged harassment, emotional harm by romantic partners, impersonation, spreading damaging rumors, encouraging others to harass, and attempting physical harm post-online harassment (Lenhart et al., 2016).

These forms of abuse are recognized as a digital extension of physical forms of gender-based abuse and violence against women in society. Perpetrators targeting individuals based on their actual or perceived identity, such as gender, sexuality, race, religion, or disability, may escalate their actions to constitute hate crimes (Crown Prosecution Service, 2017). Sexual harassment online, specifically targeting women, involves various forms, including negative comments on social media, revenge pornography, cyberstalking, non-consensual sexting, and gender-based hate speech (Citron, 2009, p. 378).

Enabled by advancements in technology, online harassment can occur against both known and unknown victims, with features like GPS tracking and Keylogger allowing for more sophisticated and invasive methods of perpetration (Vitis & Gilmour, 2017, p. 337). Despite efforts to combat it, the pervasiveness of online harassment continues to undermine attempts to address gender-based violence, perpetuating societal norms that tolerate such behavior and blaming victims rather than holding perpetrators accountable.

Negative Impacts

Online harassment can have severe negative impacts on individuals, causing emotional distress such as stress, anxiety, and fear, and in extreme cases, even leading to suicidal thoughts (Lenhart et al., 2016).

The lasting nature and wide reach of online content can worsen the effects of harassment. Victims may become hesitant to engage with digital spaces, with studies showing that young women who have experienced online harassment are more likely to censor themselves online to avoid further mistreatment (Haslop, O'Rourke & Southern , 2021, p. 1421). This form of harassment, often termed "silencing," hinders women's participation and inclusion in online communities, marginalizing them in these spaces (Banet-Weiser & Miltner, 2016, p. 172).

Digital Divisions and Inequalities

In digital spaces, there's a problem called the 'digital divide,' showing inequalities between social groups (Muschert & Gunderson, 2017). It was first thought to be a technological and economic problem, but now it is also about how much people want to use digital stuff. Cyberbullying, especially against women, makes this gap worse by making some women avoid the internet. This bullying reflects and makes worse the gender differences online (Jane, 2018, p. 186). Even when people try to speak up, they're often called names like "snowflakes" (Nicholson, 2016), which is being used to “undermine a new generation of activists who are raising valid and justifiable concerns and challenging persistent and continued social and political inequality” (Rivers, 2017, p. 48), making it harder for them to be heard.

Women, especially, face sexual harassment online, which tries to keep them quiet and less involved in online life (Megarry, 2014). This bullying isn't taken seriously enough, hiding how much it hurts women. Overall, online bullying, especially against women, makes them withdraw from online spaces, affecting their part in online life. It mirrors real-world gender differences and makes it harder for women to speak up, hurting their chances to be part of online discussions. Sexual harassment is fundamentally a men's issue, as women do not perpetrate it against themselves.

Yet, societal expectations often place the burden of preventing sexual violence on women and girls, overlooking the central role men can play in combating it (Katz, 2019). By labeling sexual harassment as solely a women's issue, society effectively renders men invisible in discussions about the problem, despite being its primary perpetrators. This perpetuates a paradox where women, the primary victims of harassment, are expected to influence privileged men, exacerbating the problem further (PettyJohn et al., 2018, p. 2). However, engaging men in addressing sexual harassment is essential for meaningful change.

Men's influence on other men's behavior can be significant, making them vital allies in prevention efforts (Fabiano et al., 2003). Moreover, involving men in discussions about sexual harassment is not about vilifying them but inviting them to contribute to cultural shifts that reject harassment (Flood, 2011). To foster this engagement, it's crucial to reframe men's involvement as helpful rather than placing blame, providing them with the vocabulary and motivation to address abuse and harassment actively.

By encouraging men to reflect on their actions and challenging societal norms that perpetuate harassment, we can pave the way for a more inclusive and equitable society.

Responses to Online Harassment

Responding to online sexual harassment means taking different actions. Some individuals choose to avoid or leave online platforms because of the harassment. Others change how they act on the internet for self-protection, like using different names online (Gumbus & Meglich, 2013, p. 48), being careful about which websites they visit, and closing down email accounts and websites they manage (Franks, 2012), although they may still be blamed for being victims. But recent studies show that more individuals are using the internet to fight back against harassment. They use social media to speak out and join together, creating spaces where they can share their stories and stand up to harassment (Salter, 2013, p. 226).

Despite the potential for increased mistreatment, individuals persist in utilizing the internet as a platform to assert themselves. This is evident in the creative resistance observed on Twitter, where users actively confront abuse by publicly naming perpetrators and engaging in collective movements like #mencallmethings (Megarry, 2014). These actions highlight how individuals, particularly women, leverage online spaces to challenge stereotypes and address instances of harassment. This is important because individuals have often not been believed or taken seriously when they talk about harassment. Fighting back against harassment, especially on social media, is important for changing how people see these issues and giving individuals a voice. Using humor as a weapon against online harassment could serve as an effective form of activism and resistance. Individuals can use wit and satire to uncover and ridicule stereotypes, challenging dominant ideologies and societal norms (Zimbardo, 2014, p. 61). Making fun of hurtful comments and behaviors demonstrates that those acts are naive and unacceptable, while also providing an essential forum for underrepresented individuals.

Through subversive humor, they can render harassing behavior absurd and provide a critical space for marginalized groups (Barreca, 1988, p. 19). For example, visual illustrations and witty dialogue can neutralize aggressive comments, removing the anonymity associated with online harassment and highlighting the juvenility of the harasser's behavior (Vitis & Gilmour, 2017, p. 345). This form of humor not only challenges sexist discourses but also undermines long-held assumptions about women's humorous ability (Franzini, 1996). It's a way for individuals to take control and make a difference in how people think about online behavior. Shaming punishment involves using public embarrassment as a way to punish people for their actions.

This punishment has been around for a long time and serves two main purposes: to entertain people and to make the person being shamed suffer (Hess & Waller , 2014). In today's world, shaming can happen in different ways, not just in the legal system. It can happen online, on social media, or even on TV shows like "To Catch A Predator". These days, anyone can shame someone else online, and it's become a common way to hold people accountable for their actions. For example, some people use Instagram to shame those who harass others, but without revealing their identities (Vitis & Gilmour, 2017, p. 348). People who see these posts often join in, making fun of the harassers and pointing out the unfairness of their actions. This collective shaming process shows how online spaces can redefine what's considered shameful, based on people's beliefs and values. While some see this as just entertainment, it also serves as a way for people to discipline others when legal action isn't possible, and it challenges harmful ideas about body image by using semi-nude images in a way that disrupts unfair gender norms (Fileborn, 2014).

Case Study: #MeToo movement

The #MeToo movement, which started gaining attention in 2017, has had a big impact on how people see sexual harassment (Mendes, Ringrose & Keller, 2018).

Some people think it's a big moment for feminism, rewriting history and fighting for gender equality. But others think it's unfair to men and hurts their reputation and rights. Different countries have different reactions to #MeToo. In places like Sweden and the USA, it led to important people losing their jobs and stricter laws being made (Askanius & Hartley, 2019).

But in other places like Denmark, people are more focused on protecting men's rights instead of dealing with harassment.

Despite its impact, sexual harassment has always been a hard topic to talk about, with many people being silenced and everyday sexism ignored (Davis, 1994). #MeToo has given victims a way to share their stories and make people more aware of how common harassment is (Reinicke, 2022, p. 5). But some people wonder if talking online is enough to make real changes in the world. The #MeToo movement was started by a Black feminist named Tarana Burke to help young women of color who survived sexual abuse. But it got really big after the Harvey Weinstein scandal and mostly focused on white, middle-class, heterosexual people (Banet-Weiser, 2018, p. 13). #MeToo brought together stories from people who had been harassed in different ways and showed how big of a problem it is.

Even though it's a serious topic, humor has been used in #MeToo to help people cope with the bad stuff. Laughing at the people who did bad things can make them feel less powerful and give victims a sense of belonging. But sometimes, humor can make things worse by making people feel ashamed or uncomfortable.

Making fun of apologies from men accused of harassment can be a way to challenge shame and make victims feel stronger (Sunden & Paasonen, 2019, p. 5). Laughter can be a way to deal with anger and shame, giving people energy to keep fighting for change.

#mda20009 #online harassment #me too #humour #public shaming #social media

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cristinablackthornkingson · 4 years

Conversation

Magnus walking into the lounge on floor 19, and only seeing Alex

Magnus: Hey, are we the only ones here?

Alex: Yeah! Everyone's always complaining that we're always late, but who are the only ones here now?

Magnus: Alex and Magnus!

Sam rushing in and looking at them in disbelief: Idiots! What are you doing here? They're disinfecting the place today! We sent so many e-mails!

Magnus: You did? They are? But_ *Magnus faints*

Alex giving Magnus a judging look: Lightweight.

Sam: Really?! That's really what you're gonna go out on?!

#magnus chase #alex fierro #samirah al abbas #amir fadlan #mallory keen #half-born gunderson #halfborn gunderson #thomas jefferson jr #valhalla #magnus chase and the sword of summer #magnus chase and the ship of the dead #magnus chase and the hammer of thor #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #brooklyn99 #Norm Scully #hitchcok #jake peralta #incorrect quotes

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atomicwedgienerd · 4 years

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Flattening the Curve

Chet hadn’t wanted to rent the room but he didn’t really have much of a choice. His lease at his old place was up and his coffeeshop was closed due to the quarantine. If he didn’t find a place soon, he would be out on the street just as everything went into long term shut down. So when he saw the ad for the single bedroom with food included, he jumped at the chance.

Of course, this was not an ideal situation for him. Mr. Gunderson, the man renting the room, was definitely kind of a fuddy duddy. He wore a tie every day and kept his hair in a rigid flat top haircut, the kind of haircut worn by NASA engineers in the 1950s. Dotted around the house were pictures of Mr. Gunderson’s son Gilbert who looked like a miniature version of Mr. Gunderson. Mr. Gunderson, a barber whose shop was now closed due to the quarantine, seemed to keep his son’s hair to the same precise specs as his own and the two had flat tops precise enough to set their watches too.

Gilbert was now away at MIT studying engineering, stranded in Massachusetts as the state had shut down, so Mr. Gunderson had cleared the remainder of his stuff out of his old bedroom and rented it out. Now it was Chet’s. There was always a look of chagrin on Mr. Gunderson’s face when he caught Chet’s decor through the cracked door. Album covers on the wall, some weird creepy art, the perpetually unmade bed. But the thing that bugged Mr. Gunderson the most was Chet’s grooming.

His hair fell in long cascading curves of a super hip undercut. It had been dyed slime green though now the roots were well grown out. Chet kept a scraggly beard and wore ripped jeans and band t-shirts. Mr. Gunderson shuddered whenever he heard him practicing his guitar through the door, imagining him bopping along and tossing those green curls around casually.

The two mostly stuck to themselves outside of Chet occasionally sitting in silence at the dinner table before hurrying back to his room to play guitar. The two couldn’t be more different.

As the quarantine stretched into week four, Chet found himself struggling. Even for his usually disheveled self, he was looking a mess. The hair on the side of his head had grown way out and it looked bad with his dyed hair on top. Mr. Gunderson caught him checking it out in the reflection of the toaster at breakfast one day.

“You know, if you need a haircut, I’m a barber by trade,” he said. “I’ve been cutting my own hair this whole time.” Chet snorted and looked at the man. His flat top looked as fresh as it did the day Chet had moved in. He clearly had skill. But he couldn’t trust his head of hair to a man who thought that haircut looked good. It was too old fashioned, too severe!

“Thanks but I don’t think I need a flat top,” Chet rebutted.

“Well every boy needs a good flat top,” Mr. Gunderson laughed. “But I can cut other styles too.”

Chet considered it. It would be nice to still look fresh even though he was in lockdown.

“Ok, but just touch up the fade. I definitely like the frazzled, dyed curve on top.”

Mr. Gunderson shuddered. There was nothing he appreciated less than this rebellious hair on an otherwise handsome young man. Chet could look so nice if he just shaved, committed to a nice conservative haircut, and did something about all those ratty old clothes he wore. He was the same size as his son Gilbert and Mr. Gunderson couldn’t stop thinking how nice Chet could look in a nice bowtie and plaid shirt like Gilbert liked to wear.

“Sure,” said Mr. Gunderson with a wicked grin and his fingers crossed. “I’ll just give you a little touch up.” He grabbed his barber’s cape and draped it over Chet before going to grab his clippers out of the garage. Chet rolled his eyes and waited as the boring tones of Mr. Gunderson’s old Bert Kaempfert record played from the living room. Was he really about to get a haircut from a man this old fashioned? Before he could change his mind, Mr. Gunderson was back and the clippers were whirring.

Chet sipped from a beer as he felt the clippers cut across the back of his neck. It felt great as the curly neck hairs dropped away and Chet could feel the wind of the ceiling fan brush across his neck. He had missed that feeling. He glanced down at the cape and saw more and more locks of hair drop and slide down the shiny black fabric as Mr. Gunderson did his work. Maybe he really did have what it takes for a modern fade.

Chet sipped on his beer and relaxed when suddenly he felt the clippers graze across the top of his head and saw a shock of green hair fall down the cape. He started to protest but Mr. Gunderson gave him a stern look and Chet fell silent. He couldn’t quite explain it but there was something in Mr. Gunderson’s gaze that just shut him right up. He wanted to fight back, but part of him wanted to comply. Chet felt his rebellious attitude squirm back down into the pit of his stomach as he sat there compliant.

He shook in fear as more and more green hair tumbled down the cape. He should stop him. He should stop Mr. Gunderson right now! But part of him enjoyed the thrill. He hadn’t expected that. Some part of him was honestly relieved that Mr. Gunderson was taking charge. Chet felt a tightness in his skinny jeans as his penis grew to attention. He was enjoying it! A moan of ecstasy escaped his lips as Chet felt a wet spot in his underpants. He was dripping with precum with every swipe Mr. Gunderson was taking.

Finally Chet felt the clippers run down the top of his head so tightly that he could feel them graze the top of his scalp. He was jelly, shaking in the seat. He wanted to say something but he just heard a tiny squeak come out of his mouth as Mr. Gunderson gripped his shoulder and said “No talking, son.”

“Yes Sir,” Chet said, at first shocked by his compliance, and then humiliated, and then pleased. It felt good to submit to this man. Chet felt the older man’s strong hands as they began to work a thick paste into his hair. He could feel just how short each bristle of hair had been taken on the sides but the shocker was how short it was on top. Chet couldn’t have more than an inch there now. Mr. Gunderson pulled out the blow dryer and began running the brush over Chet’s shorn locks.

“I may have taken a little more off than you were expecting,” Mr. Gunderson said with a grin as he handed Chet the mirror. Chet gasped when he saw himself in the mirror. The rebellious green curve of hair he had was completely shorn away. Mr. Gunderson had given him a flat top just like the one he gave himself and his son Gilbert. All that was left was a narrow ring of jet black hair standing at a perfect ninety degree angle to the rest of his head. Chet tilted his head downward and stared at the bald spot Mr. Gunderson had shaved into the top.

“What the fuck is this!?” he groaned. With a crack, Mr. Gunderson slapped him across the face.

“I won’t have that kind of language in my home, do you understand me?” he barked at Chet.

“Yes,” said Chet, a little shocked. Mr. Gunderson slapped him across the face once more.

“Yes WHAT?”

“Yes, S-s-s-sir!” Chet stammered, taken aback by how forceful Mr. Gunderson had become, but also shocked at how his body was reacting. He could feel himself shrinking from the older man, but also his erection was raging beneath the cape. He liked being treated this way! It was so humiliating, but also felt so right.

“A boy like you should have been given a cut like this a long time ago. We’re going to make this a weekly habit of yours. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” said Chet, before quickly adding “SIR!”

“Now lay back, it’s time we did something about that terrible beard of yours.”

“But...” began Chet before feeling Mr. Gunderson’s sharp gaze on him. “I mean, thank you Sir.” Chet felt humiliated. All this time he had spent playing in a rock band, rebelling against norms, being a total queer freak... and here he was erotically thrilled to be dominated by this forceful man who was making him into a clean-cut little conformist.

Mr. Gunderson began slathering the hot lather on Chet’s face. Chet whimpered as Mr. Gunderson dragged the straight razor across his neck and cheeks, wincing as he saw the sheer amount of beard coming off in each swoop. After a few minutes, Mr. Gunderson wiped off the remaining shaving cream and splashed Chet’s face with an excessive amount of Old Spice. The sting shocked Chet and he gasped before the overwhelming stench of the aftershave overtook his senses. It was so powerful and reminded Chet of all the old-fashioned men he had known growing up. This was not the way that queer hipsters smelled! But the odor made him feel warm and contented, and extremely horny.

“You’ll be using this every day,” Mr. Gunderson said as he handed Chet a large bottle of the stuff. “This is the same thing I use and the only thing my son Gilbert has ever used.” He pulled the cape off Chet and sent the remaining scatters of slime green hair falling to the floor. He handed Chet a broom and dustpan. “I expect this floor to be spotless.” Chet just uttered a meek “Yes Sir” and immediately got to sweeping as Mr. Gunderson retired to the living room to flip his record.

Chet finished sweeping and retired to his room. He ran his hands over the humiliatingly short and conservative haircut and felt himself rise to attention again. The landing strip on top was particularly humiliating but Chet couldn’t stop thinking about how powerless he had been in Mr. Gunderson’s chair and how much he enjoyed that. He would have done whatever the old man had asked of him. He started at himself in the mirror, at the clean cut boy he had become, and beat off furiously as he rubbed the sharp sides of his flat top and the smooth landing strip. He had never cum that hard in his life and he sprayed all over his fresh cut hair. The humiliation overtook Chet again and he realized he was powerless to stop it. He belonged to Mr. Gunderson now.

A week later when Mr. Gunderson demanded Chet sit down for his next haircut, there was something warmer about the man. He praised Chet for how well he was maintaining his clean cut face and how he could definitely smell the Old Spice he was using.

“There’s just one problem, son,” he said.

“What’s that, Sir?” Chet stammered out.

“I won’t have someone in my home that dresses like they pulled their clothes out of the dumpster. My son Gilbert left a few of his outfits behind. After we’re done here, you’re going to bring me all of your clothes and we will throw them out and replace them with respectable clothing.”

“No w--” Chet stammered before hesitating. He saw the mean look in Mr. Gunderson’s eyes and immediately become aroused. Mr. Gunderson was going to completely tailor Chet’s appearance and he knew there was no way to fight it. What would he do? Leave? He couldn’t! And besides, he was already leaking precum just thinking about how embarrassed he would feel in Gilbert’s conservative clothing.

Chet went back up to his room, freshly flattened and his hair standing to perfection and brought all his clothes down in a trash bag so Mr. Gunderson could throw them out. Soon after, Mr. Gunderson came down from the attic with some old boxes of Gilbert’s and began showing Chet his new wardrobe: plaid shirts, high rise pants, bow ties, suspenders, even a few old pocket protectors. Mr. Gunderson patiently taught Chet how to tie a bow tie and by the end of the evening, he was dressed exactly the way that Gilbert was in all the family photos.

Chet gulped when he saw himself in the mirror. All rebellion and individuality had been removed from his appearance. He looked like a nice clean cut nerd from the 1960s and he could barely recognize himself. The bow tie was tied nice and chokingly-tight as the starched collar of the plaid shirt scratched his neck. His pants were held above his belly button with a pair of vintage suspenders. A pair of white slouchy socks peeked out from below the hem as Mr. Gunderson slipped a pair of Gilbert’s brown suede Hush Puppies on to Chet’s feet. With the exception of the glasses, Chet looked just like a dark haired version of Gilbert. But luckily he had his contacts so he didn’t need glasses.

“Take them out,” Mr. Gunderson said almost reading his mind.

“Sorry Sir?” asked Chet hesistantly.

“Take out your contacts,” he demanded. Chet gulped and ran to the bathroom where he pulled the contacts out of his eyes and put them in the case. He hurried back to Mr. Gunderson, stumbling a few times as he bumped into an end table in the hallway. Mr. Gunderson snatched the contacts out of his hand and threw them in the garbage.

“Here, try these on.” He handed Chet a clunky pair of frames. The prescription wasn’t quite the same but he could see well enough. Now from head to toe, he looked like a retro cleancut nerd. Chet had always been embarrassed of his bad vision but now being embarrassed was a perk. The thick lenses made his eyes look tiny and the retro frames made him look so old fashioned. They were black plastic with a clear bridge, the kinds of glasses people didn’t wear anymore. They were retro nerd glasses.

“You look perfect, Chester,” Mr. Gunderson said.

“My name is Chet,” Chet said.

“I’ve seen the lease you signed,” Mr. Gunderson said. “You and I both know that Chet is short for Chester, your real name. It’s disrespectful to not use the real name your father gave you, isn’t it, Chester?”

Chet was overwhelmed with humiliation. He hadn’t been called Chester since he was a child. But he knew he couldn’t say no to Mr. Gunderson.

“Yes Sir,” Chester said. “My name is Chester.”

Mr. Gunderson smiled. “That’s right, Chester. Now it’s almost 9pm. Don’t you think you should be getting ready for bed?”

Chester just gulped. Going to bed at 9pm was humiliating but what else could he do?

“Yes Sir,” he said as he headed up and got ready. When he arrived in his bedroom, he found a stack of freshly folded tighty whiteys on his twin bed. On the back waistband of each pair Mr. Gunderson has stitched in a tag that read “CHESTER.” Chester knew he’d be wearing these every day from here on out.

The next morning, Mr. Gunderson was up nice and early and he made Chester hand over all his decor. He redecorated the room with Gilbert’s old furniture. Chester’s queen sized bed was replaced with a modest twin bed and all the weird art and albums on the walls were replaced with science posters and signed Star Trek pictures. Chester felt a twinge of humiliation as he saw Mr. Gunderson take his possessions out to the curb but the need to submit to the man was more powerful. He barely even put up a fight as Mr. Gunderson took his guitar away.

“A good boy like you shouldn’t be playing a guitar anyways,” Mr. Gunderson said as he snapped the neck of the instrument. He unlatched a large box that he had brought down from the attic and revealed a shiny red enameled accordion. “You’re going to learn how to play a more respectable instrument. This is one of Gilbert’s spare accordions. Since he has so much time off right now, he’s even agreed to teach you how to play over Zoom so I’ve arranged for him to give you lessons every morning from 8am until 10am.” Chester’s boner raged from the humiliation and it took all his energy to muster out a meek “Thank you Sir.”

Chester was humiliated during his first lesson as he was tutored by the equally nerdy and meek Gilbert. Just hearing someone as nerdy as Gilbert correct him and call him Chester was overwhelming. Every time Gilbert would tell him “Gee whiz, Chester, you’re sounding better and better,” Chester would respond with a geeky “Thanks friendarino” as his erection dripped with precum. He couldn’t get enough of it! Soon, the lessons had taken on a more familiar tone as it was clear Gilbert had a crush on Chester. Chester could barely handle it. Just a few months back he had been making out with all kinds of hot skeezy punks at the bar. Now he was getting hit on by a four eyed nerd in a bow tie. And when Gilbert asked him if they could be internet boyfriends, Chester couldn’t help but say yes. Now he was a huge nerd dating another huge nerd over the internet.

Eventually Chester became an expert accordionist and the pandemic became a thing of the past. Gilbert finished his engineering degree and moved back home. Mr. Gunderson wouldn’t let the two share a room so they did the only logical thing and made things official. Mr. Gunderson called a local Episcopalian priest and he swung by to marry the two nerdy boys. Chester couldn’t believe it. Gilbert and Chester Gunderson were two married nerds! They wore their bowties and pocket protectors and matching glasses every day and even though they were married, Mr. Gunderson made them sleep in separate twin beds in the same room. Each one would play the accordion during their weekly appointments where Mr. Gunderson, whom they both now called “Dad” gave them identical flat tops before sending them back to their shared room for more practice and a fun night of chess. There was nothing cool or hip or modern anymore about Chester. His every moment was one of abject humiliation, and he couldn’t be happier.

It’s time to sacrifice your modern hipness and become a retro nerd. Join other nerds at the nerdification discord.

#nerd #nerdification #hipstertonerd #hipster #maletransformation #cleancut #preppy #retrohair #retrofetish #flattop #flattophaircut #dad #transformation #maletf

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seeds-of-the-garden · 4 years

Note

"Damn it Lance! Would you stop taking your shirt off every time you want to win an argument?" "I'll stop doing it when it stops working."

Welcome to the beginning of Shirtless Lance Month! We’ve had a couple shirtless seed requests, this was the first one submitted chronologically. We hope you like it. It’s a little different than the normal format, but breaking the norm is kind of fun. Also, remember you can submit any prompts anytime. We’d love to write a little seed for your idea. Have a great weekend and Happy Shirtless Lance Month! :-)

TOP TEN THINGS THAT ANNOY ME

“Hello Internet. Pidge here. Well, Katie, but you guys know me as Pidge. I don’t know why I’m rambling like this. Anyway, if this is your first time here, yes, I am ‘Pidge Gunderson’, Paladin of Voltron, Pilot of Green, Holder of ALL TOP SCORES in ALL VIDEO GAMES EVER.

...What? No. No you don’t. You won on a technicality!

Ignore that. Laaance seems to think he holds as many top scores as I do. Which isn’t true.

…No it’s not.

Sorry you had to see that. Though this does segue into the topic of this video. Top Ten Things That Annoy Me. Pidge.

….Again? I’m trying to make a video.

NUMBER ONE! Or ten..I guess let’s go with that number structure. I’m usually very organized, but someone keeps interrupting and distracting me and I ended up not being totally prepared. But I digress.

Off the top of my head.

Number TEN. Unnecessary code. I get the complexity involved in creating programs that can communicate with different processors and the like, but I hate when it’s bulky for no reason. Clean your bloat people.

...No, I’m not. You’re a nerd.

Ahem. Number NINE. I don’t know, you’d think it’d be space goo. But once you eat it for so long, you get used to it. Or your body does, who knows. I guess number nine is craving space goo.

….Lance! I can’t say that, there are rules you know.

Number EIGHT. Being distracted by a certain someone who has no regard for the proper business of making a video for dedicated and new viewers.

...Yes. You’re distracting. No. I don’t need to see how distracting you can be.

Number SEVEN. Sock seams. They’re annoying. And even I have yet to be able to create a machine to eliminate them.

...I have to wear socks. Not just socks. What are you…

Sorry about that. Lance is determined to make me crazy today.

Number SIX.

...No, I do not think sock seams was boring. You’re boring.

Anyway, number SIX. Not owning all the top scores in this house. I know what I said earlier. But somebody has their name on several of the games. He can be very distracting when he wants to.

...Stop that…

….

...Uh..What number? Oh, Five.

Number FIVE. I’ve got to finish this before anything else happens. Blue eyed people. One blue eyed person. Stop winking at me. I…

*Cough*.

Number FOUR. Not Double Modulating the Gendocams. This is for you, Hunk. You’re such a good mechanic, how can you be so lazy in this department? It’s embarrassing honestly.

...I didn’t forget about you…

Number THREE....

...Where’s your shirt? I was wondering why you looked so wet.”

(voice over) “I apparently forgot a number three. Sorry folks.”

Number TWO. Smooth Tan Skin, rippling abs, long limbs…

...It’s your fault! No, don’t come over here.

Everyone, Lance. Blue Paladin. Yadayada.”

“Come on Pidgey, don’t be so cruel.”

“DON’T SIT ON MY LAP WHEN YOUR SHIRT IS OFF!”

“Pfffffft. You love it.”

“Stop pointing the camera at yourself.”

“So, Pidgey here needs to go now. Her brand new hubby needs attention from her.”

TEXT [ SORRY FOLKS, Number one is never staying angry or winning an argument with your brand new husband because he takes off his shirt Every. Single. Time. ]

#plance #pidgance #vld #mod fro #seed answers #lance #pidge #I love the idea of Lance interrupting Pidge

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rye-views · 7 years

Text

Fargo (1996) dir. Ethan Coen, Joel Coen. 7.4/10 Updated 3 years later. (6.29.20.) 7.5/10

These image sequences are so well laid out. The landscape shots are beautifully coordinated. I love this clean snow. The characters are also perfectly interesting enough to not get bored of. It all seems monotonous and bland, but still fun.

Jerry is such a dumbass.

Gaear’s kills are amazing.

Honestly, why did they add Mike in? Why is he asian?

Updated Commentary:

Everyone here is a little bitch except for Norm, Margie, and Shep.

Poor Jean.

Spoiler: [About Jerry Lundegaard visiting Fargo, North Dakota to meet Carl Showalter and Gaear Grimsrud, men that his friend at the car dealership, Shep Proudfoot, referred him to. They argue about the time they were supposed to meet at and the deal that they are going through with. Jerry provides them a new car and they kidnap his wife, Jean. They can then ask for a ransom from Jean’s father for $80,000 to be split 50/50 with Jerry and them since Jerry is doing this for the money. They try to tell him to just ask his wife or her dad and Jerry reveals that they wouldn’t give him the money and he’s in some bad business right now. Her dad, Wade, is joining for dinner that night with their son, Scotty. Jerry mentions his business deal that requires Wade’s money and Wade tells him to share the plan with Stan Grossman. Carl and Gaear are on their way to do their business. Gaear wants to stop by a pancake house even though Carl doesn’t want to. They go anyway and have sex with some ladies. Jerry interacts poorly with customers as he tries to get them to pay more for the cars they want. Wade gets back to Jerry about the deal since Stan approves of it. Jerry goes to Shep to see if he can contact the guys since they aren’t answering their calls. Shep doesn’t have an alternative. Carl and Gaear argue since Carl wants to talk during the long drive and Gaear doesn’t. Jerry talks with the loan company that he’s in debt with. They want the serial numbers for the car the money is associated with. Jerry stalls so that he doesn’t have to provide numbers and so that he keeps the money. Gaear and Jerry show up to Jerry’s place and kidnap Jean as she tries desperately to escape. They catch her after she falls down the stairs and goes unconscious. Jerry talks with Stan and Wade, who come to realize that Jerry wants to borrow their money so that he can earn a profit rather than the deal being used to bring Stan and Wade profit. Stan and Wade want to take over the deal anyway since they aren’t going to give Jerry the money. Jerry comes home to a mess and calls Wade about Jean’s kidnapping. Gaear and Carl get pulled over as they are leaving because of missing tags on the car. Carl fails to get rid of the cop as things get more suspicious, so Gaear shoots and kills the officer. As Carl is moving the body away from the road, a passing car witnesses it all. Gaear chases the car down until the other car flips over. Gaear shoots them. Marge Gunderson, the police chief, heads out in the morning to investigate the scene after her husband, Norm, makes her breakfast. She learns the accurate info from the scene and corrects her partner on any errors he made in his investigation. Jerry convinces Wade and Stan not to get the police involved and to hand over all the money since these are bad guys. He also consoles his son and convinces him not to talk to the cops. Gaear and Carl end up at a private place in Moose Lake and have Jean tied to a chair after a failed escape attempt. Norm brings Marge lunch and talks of his painting competition. Marge then learns that two men with the dealer plates checked into the Blue Ox Motels with two ladies. She interviews the ladies and learns that Carl is funny looking and Gaear looks like the Marlboro man. In the nighttime, Marge gets a call from Mike Yanagita, an old friend. He says he saw her on the case on TV and that he lives in the twin cities. Jerry tries to sell a car until he gets a call from Carl, who wants the entire money load since blood has been shed. During lunch with Norm, Marge learns that a call was made from the motel to Shep, so she decides to take a trip to the twin cities. Wade begins to want to do all the business in his daughter’s kidnapping since its his money. Jerry tries to convince him out of it, but Wade decides he’s going to go meet them with the money. Carl steals someone else’s plates and puts it on his car. Marge arrives in the twin cities and talks with Shep about how he’s breaking parole by talking to a criminal. She then talks with Jerry to find out if there are any stolen cars and he

denies after a tense conversation. She then gets dinner with Mike and rejects any advances of his. He mentions how he was married to Linda Cooksey and how she died of leukemia. He breaks down as he talks about how lonely he is. Carl has sex with an escort girl until Shep shows up and beats him up. Wade goes to meet Carl at a parking lot. He refuses to give the money until he has Jean and Carl shoots and kills him. He ends up getting partially shot in his jaw too. He leaves with a million dollars in a suitcase. Jerry shows up and sees the dead body and takes it in his trunk. Carl takes $80,000 from the case and buries the rest in the snow. Marge calls an old friend and learns that Mike had been chasing after Linda, but they were never together. Her friend mentions Mike’s psychiatric problems and him living with his parents. She also says Linda is alive. As Jerry is trying to figure out some serial numbers to give to the loan company, Marge visits him and confronts him about the car inventory. Jerry gets defensive and when she brings up his boss, he says he’ll do the inventory now. He then leaves in his car as she reports it. Carl gives half the money to Gaear and when Gaear says he wants the car too, Carl yells at him and says he’s taking the car since he got shot. He then insults Gaear as he leaves. Gaear comes out with a shovel and kills Carl. Marge goes around Moose Lake until she finds the car. She sees Gaear disposing of Carl’s body through a wood chipper and tries to arrest him. He runs and she shoots him in the leg. He is arrested. Jerry is later arrested after he’s found in a motel. Marge goes to bed with Norm and learns that he won a small prize for his painting and she reveals how proud she is of him.]

#fargo #1996 #ethan coen #joel coen #7.5 #movie #film #review #commentary #show #rye-views

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klance-and-a-half · 7 years

Text

!!!! So Been talking a lot about autism and gender confusion with some coworkers and classmates lately But!!! Keith recognized Katie/Pidge as being a girl. That is how she identified herself to the group as a whole. But a lot of times that I've known people, I've known something was off about them because of /something/. Idk if it's a pattern recognition thing where I see their distress at certain behaviors that are gendered or what, but Keith having this kinda "sense" about him! Like Autistic Keith who doesn't really understand why it matters that he's a Male. Autistic Keith who sits down with Katie and talks about those ridiculous Gender Norms those Neurotypicals push on everyone and thing. Autistic Keith who helps reaffirm Katie's gender identity because they're all in space away from her support network and away from any resources she might have had that would help with her gender dysphoria.

#fuck it if im a boy or girl #hc #autistic keith #trans girl pidge #katie holt #pidge gunderson #keith #vld #shut up lee #lee talks #anyway but my whole thing is a LOT of autistic people I know have gone through a phase of #like #out of the ten or so people I know well #they dont want to fit into the stringent gender norms #i wanna expand on this later

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sloshed-cinema · 4 years

Text

Fargo (1996)

Is it possible to be too polite? According to Fargo, absolutely yes. The Coen Brothers stretch social norms to the absolute extreme in this frigid thriller out of North Dakota and Minnesota. Strained relations are the norm, with the perfectly healthy and supportive relationship of Marge and Norm Gunderson emerging as the odd black sheep of the family. All the insane Buscemian antics aside, it’s really great to see a woman who is respected as she goes about her job. She isn’t a Captain Marvel BADASS BITCH, but she has a good head on her shoulders, can see through bullshit, and has a man ready to whip up some eggs for her at any hour. And that makes her all the more interesting in this alcoholic’s book. We could all stand too learn something from Marge’s stoic resilience and cordial no-nonsense attitude.

THE RULES SIP

Someone says ‘you bet’ or ‘sorry’.

A sum of money is named.

Someone’s got food on the brain.

Story cuts to a new location.

Norm is a sleepy but supportive hubby.

BIG DRINK

Paul Bunyan-related imagery.

Sports on TV.

Someone bites it.

Food or hotel product placement.

LIVER TRANSPLANT WAITLIST MODE *Only for those who want to scam-finance a car*

Sip every time someone says “YAAA”

#drinking games #fargo #joel coen #ethan coen #coen brothers #comedy #crime #drama #frances mcdormand #william h macy #ya sure youbetcha

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everymovie2020 · 5 years

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Fargo (1996)

Date watched: 2 November 2019

My dad let me watch this when I was 11 and I loved it.

I still do bloody love it. It's a great movie. Frances McDormand is excellent and for me, I'd consider it my favourite role of hers. She's just so capable and likeable and sympathetic, and I love the relationship between her character and John Carroll Lynch.

And it's funny because she can be easily fooled by people (the old high school chum who was lying to her, for example) but when it comes to her policework, she's top notch. She's very astute; sees right through any bullshit and is smart and capable.

Every performance in this movie is great, from William H. Macy's desperate Jerry Lundegaard (my constant refrain throughout the movie is "Oh Jerry," followed by head-shaking) to Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare's mismatched criminal duo – how did these two ever link up together? – to John Carroll Lynch's sweet portrayal of Norm Gunderson, bringing lunch for his pregnant wife and getting up when she does to make her breakfast.

It's a 10/10 for me.

#fargo #10/10 certified banger #joel and ethan coen #movies #movie review #the coen brothers #1996 #frances mcdormand #william h macy #steve buscemi #peter stormare #john carroll lynch #harve presnell #i love this movie so much #the score gets stuck in my head all the time

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some-cookie-crumbz · 5 years

Note

Yes lesbian!Kidge please 😍😍😍

Can I just say I’m so happy that so many people were interested in this self-indulgent little idea of mine??? It makes me so happy! x3

Also, this fic is based loosely in canon, somewhere between S7 and S8, since I started to write this out before S8 hit. Also, in regards to Female!Keith in this, I was vague so that the reader can view it however they’d like. If you want to read this as Cis Female Keith or Trans Girl Keith, you’re free to! x3

Keira Kogane had to have pissed off some cosmic force in herlifetime, with what she was facing in that moment.

"I don't see why you're making such a big deal aboutthis," She said, crossing her arms and glaring at the figure before her,poised over a large box filled with clothes. Off to the side, she saw Shiroleaning against a wall and skimming through a magazine, seeming quite contentto hand the reins over to another set of hands. She narrowed her eyes to flashhim a half-hearted glare.

Filthy traitor, leaving her to fend for herself against thewolf.

She perked up as the other hoisted himself up, hands settledon either side of the box, flashing her a chiding look with his bright blueeyes. "Because, my poor, misguided friend," He said before seeming tospot something in the box that he liked and diving back down, "a date is abig, big moment for a blossoming romance. And I can tell that your experienceregarding romance is... Well, let's just say it leaves a lot to be desired.Plus, gonna be honest, but your sense fashion could use a serious helpinghand." He pulled out a bright yellow and blue tube-style shirt and lookedat her with a bright grin.

She made a face and, with a small huff, he cast the shirtover his shoulder and resumed his searching. Feeling a bit braver, she walkedover and peered over his hunched form into the box, arms crossing on instinctover her chest. "What's wrong with the way I dress?”

"Have you lookedat your jacket recently? It's like a poorly constructed matador cape!" Helaughed, casting an incredulous look at her over his shoulder.

"It does not!" She snapped back.

“It totally does. Besides, it doesn’t fit you right anymoreanyway. You need to update your fashion sense as well as your ensemble. Getsomething that actually fits,” He retorted, tone dismissive.

"I really like my jacket. It's comfy and I can movereally well in it. Who cares if it isn't the height of fashion?" Sheasked, waving one hand in the arm as if to dismiss him in turn.

"Pidge will,"Lance sang back, the smug look on his face causing her to flinch back.

It hadn’t been something she’d been planning to do, really,despite how badly she wanted to. In the weeks following their last huge fightagainst the strange Robeast that showed up on Earth, the Paladins hadn’t seen awhole lot of each other. Or, rather, Keira hadn’t seen too much of the others.Galra contained a slightly elevated healing rate than humans and, due to herown heritage as a Halfling, she’d been cleared to leave the medical bay muchsooner than the others. And once she was cleared, Shiro and Commander Iversonhad scooped her up to help with this or that, as well as to give statements toEarth and coalition-based media outlets about the situation as it stood.

It was in this time that she stood back and examined things.In specific, an interesting conversation she’d had with Iverson about missedopportunities was what caused her to decide she needed to act. She’d spentplenty of time sitting on her hands, quietly wondering if she even stood achance if she were to put herself out there like that. After all, Pidge wasbasically living starlight; brilliant and vibrant and vivacious. She was loyaland intelligent and passionate. Oh, and how her eyes lit up when she gotrambling about her latest research project!

And then Keira was just… Well, she was just a mopey, lonelysort that got stuck being the leader of the most powerful weapon the universeshad to offer. She wasn’t the type of person that people like Pidge Gunderson,or Katie Holt or whoever she was took an interest in. But, when she’d dared tosay as much outloud, Commander Iverson had cast a curious glance at her. “Notlike you to give up without a fight, but it sounds like you’re ready to pullyour hat out of the ring before it even touches the dirt. Not as brave as Igave you credit for, huh?” He said, tone near wistful.

And Keira, a creature of pride and impulsiveness, hadstormed off to find the other young woman and ask her out.

She’d found Pidge by chance, heading to the hanger to checkon the Lions with Hunk. Hunk, dear sweetheart that he was, had sensed the moodand excused himself. Keira had stumbled through her words, barely managing toget it out that she wanted to go out with Pidge. Just the two of them. On adate. She’d been startled when the shorter girl had actually flushed and lookedaway, everything about the gesture coy and nearly painfully cute, beforelifting her head and nodding, still clearly embarrassed but also giddy.

“I’d love to,” She had breathed out, her voice a littlewispy. The two had agreed to a few days later, when they were to have a freeday to start milling about the rebuilt portions of town, and then parted. Asshe was heading back to her room, though, the reality of what she’d just donesettled in and she was faced with another challenge.

Which was how she’d ended up where she was in that moment,wincing as she shifted her weight from foot to foot. "Do... Do you reallythink so?" She asked quietly.

There was suddenly a hand on her shoulder, causing her tolook up at a smiling Shiro. "No, she won't. Lance is just beingLance," He said, calmly placing the shirt Lance had tossed aside back intothe box. Lance groaned and shoved the shirt aside as he riffled through andpulled out a neon orange spaghetti strap thing. He set that one down beside thebox; to offer to Allura or Romelle, Keira hoped. She then glanced back up ather mentor, taking his gentle squeeze as a way to get her attention. "Pidgewouldn't have agreed to the date if she didn't like you for you, Keira."She blinked then smiled, feeling a bit more reassured, as Shiro reached intothe box himself and pulled out a denim skirt. "Although I will concede,trying out a new outfit or two might be more worth it than you'rethinking."

"If I may also add, Shiro" Lance mused happily ashe turned to look at the two, "the outfit can help set the mood. I mean,you want to make it clear to Pidge that you're interested in her. It's why youasked her out in the first place, after all."

"Well, yeah," Keira said with a small scowl. Shethen cocked her head a bit. “But, shouldn’t the fact I specified it was a datebe enough to get the point across?”

“A date and a dateare two totally different things! You need to make sure to wear the rightattire to get the differentiation clear!”

Keira frowned and glanced up at Shiro. Ever helpful, hesimply shrugged and shook his head, as lost as she was. “O… Kay?” She trailed,turning her attention back to Lance.

"And you're the one who asked me for help on picking anoutfit, right?"

"Actually, you were eavesdropping when I was asking Shiro to help me. And then, as you'reprone to doing, decided that you just had to take over,"

"Eh. Tomato, tomatoe," He huffed, waving a handbefore grabbing a few items that he’d pulled to the edge of the box closest tohim. "Now let's see... Your usual color preferences are towards reds,blacks, and purples, from what I've seen. How do you feel about exploring andtrying out some other ones?"

She knelt down beside him, peering in curiously. "Aslong as you go with darker shades, I'm open to going a little bit farther outof my norm. Oh, but I'm not big on patterns" She said. Lance nodded,taking three of the items in his grasp and setting them at the other end of thebox. "And nothing that’s, like, super ruffly or frilly or has any kind ofglossy material to it. No dresses or skirts, either. Oh, and nothing toorevealing. Like, if I have to go with short sleeves, I’d rather have a coat orjacket or something to wear over it. And I'd really like to wear some boots. Ormaybe just my usual boots would be fine."

Lance dropped all the articles in his hand and let out along, drawn-out groan.

Keira shifted back a bit. "Or... I guess just whatlooks good?"

Shiro settled in on Lance’s other side and shook his head ashe started to look through the box as well. "No, Keira, this is good.You're the one going on the date, not Lance. You should like what you wear andhave final say on it,"

"Shiro's right. I just wish you were a little more...Diverse in style," Lance said, rummaging to the bottom of the box until hepulled out a pair of light blue denim shorts. "How about thesehigh-waisted shorts? Pair these off with some nice, dark colored leggings,maybe?” He prompted.

She reached out and gently took the shorts, holding them upto her hips. The looked like they’d fit just fine. "I like these,"She said, offering him a small smile as she settled them in her lap.

He whooped and pumped one fist in the air. "There wego! I'll take this little bit of progress!" He reached back in and pulledup a shirt, looking it over with his head tilted a bit. "So, I know yousaid no to patterns, but how do you feel about stripes?"

"Stripes are fine. I more just meant, like, floral oranimal prints," She elaborated, trying to get a glance at what he waslooking at.

He snorted as he pulled out a red and white striped shirtthat was knotted at the shoulders in lieu of proper sleeves. "Well Iwouldn't put you in those kinds of prints. It takes a very classy,sophisticated lady to rock those prints and you aren’t in that class by a long shot,"

"Rude," She hissed lowly.

"Not rude; honest. There's a difference," He said witha smug grin, holding the shirt up to her to make sure it would fit her alright.

She snatched the shirt from him and set it in her lap, aswell. “Kinda like the difference between a cargopilot and a fighter pilot,” Shesaid, waggling her eyebrows at him playfully.

Lance let out a faux-scandalized gasp, pressing one hand tohis chest. “Rude girl!”

She merely shrugged before leaning further into the box,spotting something that looked black and stretchy off to the side."Tomato, tomatoe,"

They both jumped in surprise when Shiro started busting uplaughing at the jab.

He blinked when they both stared at him, the tips of hisears turning pink. He then cleared his throat a bit. "What? You have toadmit that was pretty clever, Lance!"

The other hummed and turned his attention back to the box,his blue eyes mirthful as he continued his searching. "I'll take your wordfor it. Now, back on track, if we could?"

In the end, they found a pair of black leggings, as well asan oversized cardigan in a light grey. And, instead of boots, Keira agreed toswing for a pair of ankle-high converse-style sneakers. The sneakers clearlyweren’t name-brand, but they were surprisingly similar and comfortable to wear.Her hair was tugged back with nothing more but a simple red headband, whichfelt strange with how the little teeth gripped at her head. She normally justwore it back in a ponytail or let it loose. Lance had wanted to try and get herto accessorize further, but she’d opted into only wearing a modest silvernecklace with a heart charm at the end, a small topaz at the center.

It had been a gift from Krolia; the pendent one that Keira’sfather had given her before she left, so that she’d always have something toremember their daughter by.

She shifted a bit as she hovered by the small path that ledinto the city proper. It wasn’t much of a city anymore, admittedly, but it hada certain charm to it. Made her think of the kinds of elaborate villages Coranwould describe when Pidge and the others had played Monsters and Mana with hima handful of times. It reminded Keira, too, that she should ask about them allgetting together sometime to play. The idea of playing a game with the othersafter she’d been away from them for so long seemed kind of fun, and she’dalways been a bit of a sucker for fantasy-style worlds.

She’d never played a game like that before, but she figuredit wasn’t too hard to pick up. Besides, she was certain that Pidge would helpher figure things out, if it was that big of a struggle.

"Oh, wow, you look really pretty,” A voice gasped justa few feet away, snapping her from her musings. She must have looked surprised,see how immediately Pidge’s face was turning bright red and she held her handsup in an almost defensive manner. “I mean-! You always look pretty! You don'thave to try to look pretty but you look even prettier when you try! Oh, wait,that's not what I meant either!"

Keira blinked then giggled a bit, covering her mouth withone hand. "Hey, it's okay. I know what you mean. And thank you," Shesaid, cracking one eye to size Pidge up. Her outfit was a simply one, too; apair of dark blue capris, a sleeveless green top with a lightly ruffled edgealong the collar in white, and a pair of pale pink flats for an added splash ofcolor. The thing that really got Keira’s heart thrumming was how the blush onher cheeks made her freckles stand out even more. "You look super cute, bythe way."

She visibly relaxed at that, shoulders slacking a bit, butthe blush remained high up on her cheekbones. "Thank you," She saidbefore perking up and stepping a bit closer, so she was standing beside her."So, what's on the agenda?"

Keira smiled and gently led Pidge down the path, resistingthe urge to take her hand or offer her own arm. She didn’t want to be tooforward. "Well, I was mostly just thinking we could walk around, see how therebuild is going," She explained, glancing over at the canopy-coveredshops not far ahead. She knew most of what was here already from her check-inswith Shiro, but she knew Pidge hadn’t had the chance to come exploring justyet. She then offered Pidge a small smirk. "I may have also found arebuilt ice cream shop not too far from here, if we wanted to get some."

"For real?"Pidge gasped, eyes lighting up like the tail of a comet.

Keira nodded, having to swallow and compose herself a bit. "Yeah!I’ve been coming down here with Shiro since I’ve been cleared to leave the medicalbay, so we could do proper introductions with the coalition volunteers. Whilehe did that, I wandered off on my own a couple of times. They were almost donewhen I stopped by," She explained as they walked along. The paused for amoment at the first stall once they entered the shopping area proper, Pidgeleaning in to look at the alien ores laid out curiously. "They said theselection might be a little limited, though."

She sat back up and looked at her, still glowing at theprospect. "Pssh! Who cares? It's icecream!" She laughed happily. The darker haired woman could feel ablush creeping up to her own cheeks. It was ridiculously charming how riled upPidge was getting at the idea of something as simple as getting ice creamtogether. “Though, I suppose we do need to resolve one thing before we go anyfurther.” She said, tone suddenly somber, gaze at Keira expectantly.

She blinked a bit and cocked her head. “Uh.. Sure, what?”

“Rum raisin… Any thoughts?” Pidge asked.

Keira couldn’t help but make a face and stick her tongueout. “Ugh! Rum raisin is disgusting!”

“Thank you!” Pidge blurted, throwing her hands up in theair.

“Who in their rightmind was trying to defend rum raisin?”

“Matt! He was trying to claim that it ‘isn’t that bad’!Like, did all the space travel screw with his taste buds? I feel like I mighthave to disown him for this,” She said, using air quotes and flailing her handsabout as she spoke.

Keira snickered slightly. “I can’t believe Matthew Holt isfucking dead,” She mused.

Pidge let out a quiet yelp before bursting out laughing. “You’vebeen brushing up on memes! You’re so sweet!” She said, her smile turning tosomething a bit fonder.

Keira’s heart leapt in her chest as she watched Pidge’sexpressions shift, noticing for the first time that a few of the largerfreckles on her left cheek could be traced to form a miniature inversion of theLeo constellation, as if she’d been born with a marking of stardust to helpguide her to her fate.

Before they part ways later that evening, Keira makes sureto press a quick peck over the little mark, and delights in how theconstellation becomes more profound at the blush that crops up from the smallpeck.

#crumbles grumbles #Voltron legendary defender #Keidge #Kidge #Peith #Kidgemas #my fics #But seriously though #Thank you so much everyone whose been interested in this idea!

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vlotd · 5 years

Text

V:LotD Pidge

While I’m working on other stuff, let’s talk about Pidge in V:LotD.

Pidge was born Benjamin Holt, about five years after Matthew was born. She came out to her parents as a transgirl when she was 12, and they arranged for a Bat instead of a Bar Mitzvah for her, as well as getting her the appropriate hormones/blockers. They helped her get her name changed to Katherine and promptly started calling her Katie, though her older brother continued to call her “Pidge” regardless.

Katie was always a prodigy, and by the time she was 15 - when her father and brother went to Kerberos - she was already set to graduate high school and was taking college-level courses online. She was fluent in English and Hebrew, and knew Latin/Greek roots, useful for the sciences. Her brother had gone to the Galaxy Garrison, like their father, but Katie was eyeing M.I.T. hoping to go into information security - a more lucrative civilian career path, much like her mother had done (Colleen is a botanist specializing in genetically modifying plants to grow in specialized environments).

After the Kerberos Mission was lost, Katie started trying to get information on what truly happened. Her family had had Shiro and Adam over for dinner sometimes; she knew him, trusted him, didn’t buy this “pilot error” bull, and she wanted the truth. She’d always been fond of conspiracy theories, though she usually wound up debunking them in the course of trying to ferret out the truth. This time, she was convinced she had it right. There was a cover-up going on and she wanted to know why.

Of course, she got busted when she snuck into Iverson’s office. (Note that she got in without incident though - Pidge has always been sneaky af.) She was taken back home and told - in front of her mom - that she was not allowed back on the base.

Her mom had been mourning her husband and son, basically letting Pidge do whatever she wanted unsupervised. Did it matter what the “truth” was? They were gone and not coming back. But this was a wake-up call.

Colleen helped her daughter now: she helped forge the enrollment form, cut her hair short (shorter than we see it in VLD) and chose a red hair dye for her: it was different enough from her normal hair color but still very similar, the idea being that as the dye faded, people wouldn’t notice and eventually Pidge could just have her normal hair color again - no need to keep re-dying it, which might draw suspicion. They added Matt’s old glasses and, voila! Pidge Gunderson - a boy - was born.

Colleen makes sure Pidge gets everything “he” needs to get to the bottom of this and sends “him” into the Garrison with an “I love you” and a “Be careful.”

All the rest of Pidge’s story unfolds much as we see it in the first two seasons of canon, with the exception that no one ever thinks Pidge looks like Matt. (Keith yells at her to focus up instead of “Quit thinking of your girlfriend.”) Pidge reveals herself as a girl and starts to grow her hair back out. She stops wearing the glasses, but keeps them with her, because they were Matt’s once. They’re a reminder of why she started all of this. (It bugs me that she wears the glasses when she doesn’t need to; they’re prescription and they’ve got to be fucking with her eyesight. I know WHY she does, from a Doylist perspective, but, frankly, VLD’s sacrificing Watsonian sense on the altar of Doylist nostalgia is one of its biggest problems.)

She goes to Shiro when she’s almost out of blockers, and he takes her to talk with Allura and Coran. They reveal that the Castle’s bioscan when the paladins first entered set a “baseline” for them, and that the Castle systems use that when the paladins are injured. Basically, the pods restore them to that baseline level of health, including hormone levels, unless a new baseline scan is established or a level is somehow better than the baseline (i.e, it doesn’t reset muscle gain, for example).

(This works not only for Pidge’s personal health but also sets up a later scene after Shiro’s pulled out of Black and put back into his own body. Shiro’s initial Castle bioscan noted the degenerative disease but didn’t cure it - every time he went into a pod, the replenisher set his body back to that level of the disease, because it assumed that was his norm. Allura’s quintessence-assisted transfer of Shiro actually heals his disease entirely, as will be discovered when he’s scanned immediately after the transfer to make sure everything’s okay.)

#Pidge #Voltron #V:LotD

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