#Nebraska thunderfuck

[blackoutdragqueens]

Follow @blackoutdragqueens on tumblr and my main page @joeyblackout

#derrick barry #Nebraska thunderfuck #roxxxy andrews #naomi smalls

[insomnias-transgender-bride]

#Derrick Barry #Nebraska Thunderfuck

[lipsyncforyourlife]

#Willam Belli #Derrick Barry #Nebraska Thunderfuck #Nick San Pedro #Britney Spears #Willam

[rpdrquotes]

Alaska: so you think this is funny? [points to the mess around the house] cause this is not!

Aquaria and Nebraska: I'm sorry mommy...

Sharon: I'm sorry Lasky...

Alaska [huffs]: you two, to your room and you're grounded

Aquaria and Nebraska: [walk hand in hand in silence]

Alaska: Sharon...

Sharon [starting to tidy up the place]: yes baby?

Alaska: we already have two kids

Sharon: ...

Alaska: stop being the third!

#sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #aquaria #nebraska thunderfuck #s4 #s5 #s10 #as2 #winners #winner circle #make overs #shalaska #drag race #incorrect quotes #clueless motherhood

[artificialqueens]

A dream you're having (Thorcid) - Saiphl

This is a repost of a work I’ve shared a long time ago, unfortunately and for unknown reasons it disappeared and now I’m reposting.

So, for those who are new here and haven’t read it, this texts is highly triggering and here are the warnings: gun shots, homophobia, violence and references to many deaths.

For those who already knew this text, thanks for giving it another shot and I hope you enjoy the now betaed version.

My most sincere thank you to Alexandriabelle for helping me to tame it.

=================== A dream you’re having

“How do you know this isn’t a dream you’re having, and if this is a dream, does that make it any less real?”

He woke up with the first traces of sunlight that hit his eyelids. His whole body was aching like hell.  He exhaled while moving his torso, lying on his belly as he was, it took a monstrous effort to turn to his back. It was worse when he tried to cover his eyes with his left arm, the sun outside casting a very bright light.

-What the fuck?- He mumbled, the smell of fabric softener making things confusing for him. It didn’t even smell like the one he used on his own bed clothes… He didn’t remember how the hell he got to bed, a fuzzy image of him still in drag before everything faded black. His pounding head was a reminder to never, ever drink black pearls again.  Taking a deep breath, Jamin finally managed to sit on the bed, allowing his eyes to adjust to the morning light.

A funny clock with music keys working as the actual numbers greeted him, letting know that those lights weren’t the first lights of the morning. It was actually noon and he was still confused and trying to figure out where he was. Everything was messy around him, instrument cases on the shadiest corner, clothes, shoes, wigs and pumps here and there, a comforter full of makeup and a huge mirror holding colorful pictures.  

Jamin got off the bed, feeling dizzy and realizing he was butt naked, his drag neatly folded over the only chair on the messy bedroom of what he realized was Shane’s place in Brooklyn. He catches a glimpse of his face on the mirror: smeared yellow and dark orange makeup, his lids still sticky with mascara and eyeliner, the fading shade of his overdrawn lips of the night before, and a non subtle path of hickies going down through his chest, belly and abs.

Ok, he had better mornings, but still he couldn’t help the smile spreading on his face; engaging with Thorgy after a gig would always be a blast, especially if you wake up gloriously naked on her bed and still wearing what’s left of your makeup of the night before.  Still smiling to himself on the mirror, he started cleansing his face.

- And that’s what I call a well-rested-arrogant-self-satisfied-and-totally-spent-bitch face-, Shane said, lying on the frame of the door with his arms crossed, the dreadlocks going everywhere down his shoulders, back and chest, making Jamin’s smile grow wider, just to turn and face him

-Guess I’m a self satisfied bitch right now, the Hansel and Gretel-ish path to my dick says that we had a great time -, Shane couldn’t help but smile at Jamin, with the same self satisfied expression.

-Well, if you are into fucking the dead, it was a great night- Shane answered, with that little spark of the teaser. Not noticing at all, they took a couple of steps to each other, and there was it, that magnetic force that pulled Thorgy to Betty’s bed the first time working its magic again, this time, dragging Jamin to Shane’s bed… for the we-lost-our-count-a-long-while-ago time. A tangle of limbs going here and there, soft whispers and parted lips.

==

Jamin is awake again, feeling disoriented and with a headache threatening to make him blind, he’s not sure where he is, the only thing he knows, is everything hurts… from the blinking of his eyes, to the attempts of deep breathing; but most of all, there’s something that hurts most than his body, a deep pain on his chest making him sure that anything is alright and will never be again.  He had never been a fatalist, but everything in that moment felt as wrong as a saint shooting two guns at the same time to the crowd.

His mouth was dry and his throat felt like he haven’t used it for ages, an attempt of sound formed on the back, making him sound like a wounded beast, exhaling the last of its life, a muffled voice coming from beside him, something like “he’s awake… he’s awake!”, immediately followed by what it seemed an acute beep that hurt his ears badly, making his headache even more intense.  Soon the place was full of voices and silhouettes that Jamin couldn’t see at all, he already tried to produce a word, but his voice wasn’t helping at all.

-Where am I?- he finally produced, when a soothing wave of painkillers flood through his veins, making him able to focus on see what was in front of him, the worried face of Christopher was there, who produced a little smile when he heard him talk.  

-It’s a long story pal… thank god you’re back- he said to Jamin, quickly looking to the other side in a futile attempt to hide the tears that were falling down his eyes.

After a couple of minutes, what seemed to him, like an army of nurses and doctors left them alone, and Bob took again the place beside Jamin’s bed.  -Jesus Betty, you know how to keep a bitch awake- he joked, with a half smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Jamin sighed, being blasted by the sting of pain on his ribcage.

-Where am I, Chris?- he asked again, making Bob exhale so slow that if it weren’t for the heavy weight Jamin felt over his arms, could’ve slapped him to bring him back.

-We are at Brooklyn hospital, J- was the cryptic answer from Christopher, that made Jamin get the chill, he didn’t remember why he could end at Brooklyn Hospital, but something in Chris’ face, told him that something was really wrong and it had something to do with the big hole he felt all over his chest.

===

Shane was pacing around like a defenseless caged animal, his face tense as the strings of his violin, it has been more than three hours since Jamin’s last call, he were supposed to reach him at the club, they had a gig together, and as far as he found himself busy doing his face and bringing Thorgy back to life, he didn’t noticed how much time passed since the tone of her cell announced that call, that made him smile.

He was about giving the thousand u turn on the dressroom when the door got opened, Jamin’s tired face finally showing through it, Thorgy ran straight to him, rushing some kisses over his face and lips -I was so worried, it’s been three hours since we spoke and…-  

Jamin took Shane’s hands on his -and I’m here… I’m sorry I’m so late, my luggage took ages at the conveyor belt and things got nasty when I came from the airport… but I’m here babe, I’m here-.

Thorgy gave one more peck to Jamin’s lips and look straight to his blue eyes, -Let’s get you ready, do your face, I’ll get your clothes hun- .

Shane’s head was running wild, but he managed to be outcoming and cheerful as he has always been on the stage, few hours later, they were heading to Kim’s place in Chicago, the car windows were darkened, so they could easily go through the streets without being noticed.  They hadn’t call a cab for some years now, it wasn’t safe anymore, but at the end of the night, they always had each other to soothe the awfulness of the world around them.

Kim greeted them with a meaningful smile as soon as he opened the door, and that was everything to them, there were still few safe places, there were so little chances to get together and feel that everything didn’t change.  That night, when they crashed on the guest room of Kim’s house, Shane kept a strong grip on Jamin’s t-shirt while he slid in a less than peaceful sleep and Jamin caressed his hair until he felt calmed enough to fall asleep too.

They have been together for some years and Jamin was worried, most of all, that the violent times they were living could reach them; by that time, he was sure enough that waking up to an empty spot where Shane’s smiling face should be, was the last thing that could happen and he was not taking that risk. He should take Shane and himself away from the US as soon as he could.

===

Jamin woke up again to see Christopher’s face again, looking even more tired and showing dark circles under the eyes -what time is it now?- he asked, still with raspy voice -it’s noon, you’ve been sleeping for a while, lazy bitch- both of them smiled to each other, too exhausted to actually laugh.  -So… what’s the story, Bob? why am I at the Brooklyn hospital with your ugly face beside my bed?- the smile on Chris’ face faded again, He stood as tall as he was, making Jamin feel small and defenseless, the hole in his chest more evident with every second passing.

-Well… guess you were fucked up enough to not remember but…- Bob covered his face with his hands, to finally look at Jamin again. -You and Shane were at this drink and draw thing you were invited to, downtown New York, many of our friends were there too- he said, starting to pace on the little hospital room -one of those radical groups found out and there was a shooting- Bob’s voice cracked, his eyes full with tears -we… we’ve lost many of them, Michael, Greg, Jaremy, Dan, his husband… they all are gone-.

Jamin started feeling numb, Michael and Greg were close friends to him, they have always supported his approach of drag, and were more than loud on encouraging him to keep faithful to his style and aesthetics. Knowing those great human beings were lost, felt like someone kicked his nuts so hard that he couldn’t feel anything else, but most of all, he caught Chris’ avoidance to mention the one he cared the most - how long I’ve been here? where’s Shane?- he asked, feeling the bile rising up his throat.

-It’s been a week, the doctors were not so optimistic on you coming back with us, J- Christopher said, in a darkened voice - about Shane… I need you to keep calm, you shouldn’t do anything stupid- he continued, noticing how his voice became lower-.  Jamin looked straight at him.

-Where’s Shane?- he asked, his voice raised in a high pitch -is he…?- He couldn’t even think on a world where Shane wasn’t spreading his light and optimism. A world where Shane will not be apprehensively gripping his t-shirt to sleep, or to kiss him good morning.

Bob took a deep breathe, unconsciously taking his fingers to press the bridge of his nose -he’s here too… - he said, after long seconds, trying to find his own words and not to hurt even more his dear friend -he’s got a couple of shots… certainly less than you got, but he lost lots of blood, and he barely made it through the hospital… he hasn’t come back yet, but with each day the hopes are less… and less- Christopher finished that last sentence sobbing.

He wished to have better news to Jamin, he wished to tell him Shane was ok, that he was going to make it, but not even him could dare to make such a stupid promise.

Jamin felt like he was going down an everlasting spiral, his head spinning madly and the hole in his chest even heavier than before, he wanted… no, he needed to see him, he needed to be with him, to hold his hand, to talk to him even if it was for a last time.  He tried to move, but his body didn’t respond, all those painkillers and what he realized at that moment that was a cast holding the whole of his left leg and the surgical pins on his right arm didn’t allow him to move at all. Silent tears flood from his eyes, making him feel useless and alone.

Christopher held his hand while the both of them cried and finally, Jamin fell asleep again so conscious of the illness of his body and how broken his heart was, the only thing he wanted was to see him, his Shane, even if it was to say goodbye.

===

Shane has never been an early bird, but that morning he felt full of energy… more than usual, he carefully left the bed, went for a walk and stopped at the grocery store to get some fresh fruits, went back home, sang a couple of songs and cooked a perfectly-done tower of pancakes, brewed some fresh coffee and went as silent as he could back to the bedroom, where Jamin was still asleep, gloriously calm and all tangled with the sheets of the bed.

That sight took Shane’s breath away, it wasn’t by far, the first time he saw the new morning feeling Jamin by his side, but this morning was very special… ‘cause that was the first morning he was able to see his brand new husband, sleeping in the place they will share for, what he expected, was going to be a long, long, long, long time.

By that time, everyone knew they were officially together, but they decided to keep it just for the two of them becoming a married couple. They exchanged a couple of silver rings in front of a peace judge, with the promise of a forever that started with them spending their first hours together walking through a winter night in DC.

Back to Brooklyn, they moved together to Jamin’s place, something that was natural after the time they had been a couple, and even when the department was a mess, Shane finally felt at home when he saw the resting face of Jamin, who started moving in the bed, looking for him on the empty spot of the bed, and finally opened his eyes, barely seeing the blurry shape of Shane on the door.

-Morning sleepy head- Shane greeted him with a full mouthed smile while taking some steps to the bed, and once on his reach, Jamin managed to pull him back to his side.

-Why are you up this early? you know, I didn’t get married to find an empty bed when I wake up- was the sleepy response he gave to him, who was already kissing his forehead and nose.

-It’s not my fault that you’re a lazy bitch, it’s close to noon and you’re still sleeping- Shane said him playfully just to tickle his ribs.

==

A sting of pain on his ribcage made him open the eyes, by that time he was already sick of being in bed, but his arm and leg will not let him go far from that place, and feeling that new burning pain wasn’t helping him at all, being alone on that room took him by surprise, by that time, Davis, Derrick, Sang and even Zavion had taken turns with Christopher to take care of them both.  The everlasting optimism of Derrick helped Jamin to make progress on getting sit most of the day, and the kindness of Sang kept his morale up high, but all of them refused to talk about Shane.

Jamin was getting impatient with that silent policy, and while he managed to beep calling a nurse, he was expecting for Zavion to go and bring him some news… whatever it was, he wanted to know about the outer world and most of all, he wanted to know something, anything that he could tell him about Shane.  Zavion crossed the door still smiling reassuringly to Jamin, but his face grew stressed as soon as he saw him

-Good Lord, Betty you’re bleedin’, lemme get a nurse for ya-, the dark skinned man ran to the hallway and was back in a second and behind the glass, while three nurses managed to strip him from the hospital robe and started working, followed a few seconds later by a doctor who decided Jamin was going back to surgery.

Zavion walked beside Jamin, talking to him and telling him everything was going to be alright. Then the elevator door closed leaving Jamin alone with the personal, feeling in pain and even more weak, the last thing he saw, the lights of the operating room fading through the plastic of the anesthetist mask.

—

Derrick and Mackenzie were  on each side of Shane’s bed, laying on that place, pale and thin, he didn’t resemble the unstoppable energy that always surrounded Thorgy wherever she went.  

Mac was fixing Shane’s nails, while Derrick spoke to him about how things outside seemed to get better, also about Sutan and Karl pretended romance and how people were rooting for it in an attempt to keep up their hopes, when his phone vibrated, making him leave the ICU room. Just a second later, Derrick went back with a worried expression and told Mac he was joining Zavion in the surgery floor… something was wrong with Jamin.

Mac sighed loudly, and kept working on Shane’s nails, thinking of something else to say, something to get him distracted from the idea of Jamin going again to surgery, of how much will it hurt losing two of their closest friends, especially after they’ve lost Nick in the same shooting.  Mac gave one longing sight to the door where Derrick walked away and went back to Shane.

-So… Zavion and Sang had a blast of a gig last night, at least, they had a very good crowd watching them and… -  Mac was unable to continue, Shane’s hand was holding his, still with closed eyes, and the slow breathing, becoming heavy.  

Mac’s eyes were wide open, and started calling for help. Mac stood outside of the window of the room, watching the doctor and nurses work their magic, while Shane’s confused eyes were looking with a note of desperation to find out what was happening.

In the surgery floor, Derrick and Zavion were pacing with a pregnant silence heavily surrounding them until a very tired looking doctor went to them. -How is he?- was the barely audible words that left Derrick’s mouth.

-It was a tough surgery, Mr. Ruhren lost a lot of blood again, we repaired his lung but we will have to wait until he wakes up to know if there’s any collateral damage, he’s weak and will be sent to ICU to get him under close surveillance- after those words, the doctor left and Derrick finally collapsed.

Zavion barely caught him, leading him to sit on a chair. -We need to stay strong D, there’s nothing left for us to do,- the southern man told his friend, still holding him by the arms -we cannot let them see us fall apart- he continued as Derrick started sobbing loudly.

-I can’t… no more, it’s like having Nick dying again, what if one of them doesn’t make it? how can we tell them the other half of his life is lost forever?- Derrick asked Zavion, on the verge of hysteria, they hugged in silence, lack of response, and losing what was left of their hope when Derrick’s phone buzzed making both of them jump…

“Thorgy’s back I need at least one of you here please”, Mac’s message caught them off of guard, but almost immediately, both of them ran to the elevator to join Mac on ICU, where they found Mac holding Shane’s hand, and whispering something very fast.

==

Jamin plugged in the lights and the Christmas tree came to life, showing sparkling colors here and there, caressing his face with the neon colors they both liked so much, it was their first Christmas married and it had to be perfect, even when he was a Jew, he wanted everything to look as bright as Shane’s pre-christmas good mood.

-Oh my God! oh my God!- was the first that came to Jamin’s ears after the door of their home was open -this is so beautiful babe, thank you- Shane told him, going to hug him from behind, pulling him close to his chest.

-Well, everything for my Thorgles-, Jamin answered, caressing the hands of his husband on his belly, they stood there, watching the lights shine for a moment.

-You know, this is incomplete, I always imagined sharing this with some loving husband while we danced slowly to the view of Brooklyn at night- Jamin said, teasing Shane, who immediately laughed and allowed Jamin to be free of his embrace.

-Dear husband, you actually have a loving husband and a Brooklyn night outside the window, so allow me to give you the whole fantasy.- Shane kissed Jamin’s jaw line and then went to the stereo, turning it on and picking an old CD from the rack they recently installed to put his collection in.  Some seconds later, Shane offered his hand in the most elaborated floriture to take Jamin’s and pulling him to slow dance to an Elvis Presley song.

They kissed in front of the window, caressed by the christmas tree lights and, still dancing, even after the music ended, even when the lights of their neighborhood started to be turned off.  

-Guess I could have this forever- Shane said, still lost in the warmth of his husband’s body,

-Now I can tell this is like the pre-christmas I’ve ever wanted- Jamin replied, caressing Shane’s dreadlocks.

Shane kissed Jamin’s lips once more and then looked into his eyes -I think… I think I’m ready.- Jamin seemed a bit confused and Shane smiled to him -we should tell our friends that we are officially married-.

Jamin smiled to him -I don’t know… I’m not ready to share you with the world, you know, I like you being just my husband… being just mine.-

Shane pulled him closer, to rest his chin on the other man’s shoulder. -Silly, I will always be your husband… I’ll will always be just yours,- with these words he closed his eyes, to let Jamin’s body fill him

-I can handle that, I guess… but only if you promise to keep being just my Shane.- As a response, Shane started kissing his collarbone.

===

Shane’s eyes flood with tears, as Mac’s whispers kept going, a soft smile that didn’t reach his eyes greeted Derrick and Zavion as he saw them coming, Derrick went in without thinking and Mac kissed Shane’s cheek goodbye.

Derrick took Mac’s place and Shane spoke with raspy voice -how’s my babe? Mac told me… how is he?-, Derrick took a deep breath and spoke -he’s not so well, his lung bled again and the doctor repaired it, but they don’t know what will happen- was the honest answer he gave to his friend, who closed his eyes and sighed.

-We… we wanted to talk to you all, but seems like fucking fate is refusing to let us do what we decided to do- Shane said to Derrick, who stared at him puzzled

-What are you talking about?- he asked, falling for the curiosity.  

-The one who’s lung has been repaired is not just my partner, best friend and lover… he’s also and most importantly, my husband- Shane said, half laughing, half crying again. -Could you please ask them to put my husband close to me, as far as I can’t take care of him, I want to be by his side if one… or both of us are close to death?- Shane asked, his voice cracking.

Derrick went to the medical central to check if getting them together could be an option, as far as their condition was so delicate, and the most he could get, was getting Jamin across the hallway, to get both of them as close as was medically possible.

Even when Shane’s condition was improving, they were not so optimistic on leaving or even moving him to a regular room, his organs were still regenerating and getting him in too much movement would imply a higher risk.

On the other side, a week later, Jamin was still asleep, breathing steadier, but asleep and Shane was put on a recovery room a couple of days back, falling to his own anxiety, as far as he didn’t allow none of his friends to keep the truth away from him.

When Sang went to see him, Shane just held his hand, waiting for any news, whatever it came, but he just sighed -why do you keep doing this Thorg? things are exactly like yesterday and the last twelve hours, you should stop torturing yourself-, Sang told him, being as honest and caring as he had always been with his unstoppable friend.

Shane silently cried again, he knew Sang was right, and as much as he wished to see Jamin’s blue eyes staring at him, asking every now and then how was everything going in the ICU room, was not going to improve anything -it… it’s just I miss him so much, I’d rather sit beside his bed than staying here, being useless- Shane answered in a whisper, clearly frustrated and in pain.  

-You almost bled to death from a hole in your stomach and your right kidney is still failing, baby, you’re not so much better than him, you need to take care of yourself before trying to take care of him… you’re actually helping him by getting better- the Korean man said matter of factly, with the same ease as if he were talking to a stubborn toddler, and Shane just sighed as an answer, letting the silence rise up around them.

===

Jamin had been travelling in South America, and as much as he loved performing, he missed being at home with Shane, who had travelled to Canada few days before Jamin had to go to Brazil, they had very busy schedules, and the Christmas Tree was silently waiting for them at the same place where it lit them up to dance for that magical night.

It was December the 15th, and he had been invited to a drink and draw event, he was meant to be there by himself, but he couldn’t stand to be apart of Shane for another day, so when he picked up his luggage from the conveyor belt, he made his best to ignore the unease spreading on his belly.  As soon as he got home, Jamin joined an unconscious Shane that fell asleep on the couch zapping the TV, on the screen some random cooking show making a comfortable background noise.  

-Babe… come on honey wake up, I’m home- Jamin whispered on Shane’s ear and giving a kiss on his jawline, making him jump a little and half open his eyes to hum some unintelligible response. -Come on sleeping beauty, time to kiss your prince- Jamin said, and Shane slid his arms around his waist

-No… if I’m sleeping, the prince has to come and kiss my…- not allowing him to finish the sentence, Jamin kissed him hungrily, almost with desperation and getting a loud whine from Shane when he broke the kiss -and now you’ve got my attention, are you ok Elizabeth?-  

Jamin made himself comfortable on Shane’s arms and Shane stared straight to his blue eyes -nothing… I guess, I have this drink and draw invite, and I’m not feeling like going.-

Shane pouted his lips -but you actually changed bookings to be here for that, you should go- he said, adjusting his body on Jamin’s embrace

-I know, but I missed you much more than I wanted to go to that event- a soft smile painted Shane’s lips, and an echoing one on Jamin’s face  

-Ya’know wha? we both are going, but not before I get you-, Shane said, sliding his hand down Jamin’s pants, making him moan at the contact.

===

Christopher went down the emergency stairs taking two steps at a time, even when it took less than 5 minutes, he felt like it took hours and when he finally reached Shane’s room, bent at the waist and gasping to catch his breath, he looked at both the man, that were looking at him, with puzzled looks.  -Guys, Betty’s back! babbling incoherences about some nordic god- the tall men told them, unable to keep the grin out of his face.

Sang jumped off the chair and clapped his hands, making Shane quiver on the bed. -How is he?- Shane asked with cracking voice.

-The doctors are still checking up on him, but everything seems to be fine, his lung is working better than they expected, and that bitch was just taking a beauty sleep.- Bob half laughed, and coughed again, just to walk towards Thorgy and reassuringly take his hand. -If everything’s alright with him, they’ll take the pins off in a week, looks like the both of you made it through the worst part Thorg-.  

It felt weird to be called that way, all of them had been calling his birth name since he woke up, and thinking about Thorgy, Betty and their colorful existence seemed like a long lost dream.

-I want to see him- Shane said, matter of factly -I need to see that bitch and tell him how much I’ve missed him.-

Sang held his wrist intending to keep the man on the bed -you’re not going anywhere without a doctor supervising it, remember getting better helps him to get better-.  

Shane stared at Sang in clear surrender, making Christopher’s mouth fall open -don’t be that surprised… I can be reasonable sometimes- Shane said, getting a cautious glare from Christopher.

-I know you better than that Shane Thor Galligan-Ruhren, so I guess I should go to get some medical approval to get your ass to your man- Shane giggled as a response and then asked Sang to give him a mirror to fix his dreadlocks.

A couple of hours and a long last discussion across the hallway later, Sang was pushing Shane on a wheelchair, and he was twisting his hands in a weird way, keeping his shoulders as straight as he had a metal line guiding his back. The somber expression in his eyes fading slowly as they reached to Jamin’s room, whose voice can be heard from the hallway.

-C’mon Chi Chi, you can convince the doctor to take me there… do it for this old bitch.- Zavion’s laughter filled the place for a second.

-Not the first time you request that bro, and the answer is the same. No! You can’t get out of here. You almost died, we are not taking those risks-, Jamin grunt as an answer and then started laughing to finish in a light coughing… Shane’s heart skipped a beat when he heard him laugh… he was alive.

===

Shane jumped in Jamin’s arms, making his husband slowly awake -Thorg? what happened baby?-, a bit disoriented. Shane looked for Jamin’s lips with his own, there was something bitter and desperate on that kiss. Something that made feel Jamin like Shane was trying to make sure the moment was real, that they were together on that old couch that Shane refused to give away when they moved to their apartment.  Jamin caressed his back trying to soothe him.

Once he made sure he was on their living room, still naked and with the Christmas tree still shining, Shane sighed in relief.

Keeping a firm grip on Jamin’s biceps, still feeling too overwhelmed to speak, but doing it anyways -what time is it?- he asked, and Jamin glanced to the music keys clock on the wall.

-It’s late for the drink and draw, but a perfect time to cuddle with my husband-, Shane cuddled against Jamin’s chest, while Jamin reached with his free hand for the remote.

-I guess we both missed each other a lot more than we thought, as far as I’m unable to get away from you-, Shane said and Jamin laughed, drawing patterns on Shane’s back distractedly.

-Why did you jump like that? were you having bad dreams?- Jamin teased Shane, who got pale, almost greenish, and Jamin looked at him feeling his stiffness. -What happened baby?- he asked, starting to soothe him again by caressing his back. -You know you can tell me anything-.  

Shane buried his nose on the hem of his neck and took some minutes to make his head clear -I… had this dream, where we both were about to die, away from each other and nothing knowing that we are married, and no one allowing us to say a proper goodbye and…- Jamin reached for Shane’s chin and kissed him tenderly.

-We are ok, babe… we are more than ok, we are healthy, and together, and butt naked and… at least in my case, really horny.- Shane giggled at that statement, he was getting horny too.

-We may throw a Christmas Eve Dinner and share the news with our people- said Jamin, before kissing Shane again, who was by then pumping his shaft with a hand and making him moan.

The remote that Jamin had been holding fell to the floor, and they got lost on each other, while in the night news they were broadcasting live from the drink and draw event.

The event had been attacked by a group of extremists, the police still assessing the damages and the injured and dead people.

#rpdr fanfiction #acid betty #thorgy thor #derrick barry #bob the drag queen #kim chi #chi chi devayne #nebraska thunderfuck #thorcid #angst #canon compliant #a dream youre having #saiphl #tw death #tw gun violence #tw homophobia #tw violence #s8

[ohhhhoneeey]

Uhhhh can they be the new royal couple of drag please 😍😍😍😍

#rpdr #rpdr as4 #rupaul's drag race #rupauls all stars #derrick barry #nebraska #nebraska thunderfuck #britney spears #dragqueen #the royal romance #derrick x nick x nebraska #derrick x nick x max

[redside-ofthemoon]

The 37th state, Nebraska!

#also a sexy state #nebraska thunderfuck #rpdr #mine

[poetryandmusings]

got to hang with derrick barry and nebraska thvnderfvck for derrick’s birthday.

#me #personal #neutrois #agender #lgbtqia #nonbinary #nongendered #genderless #genderqueer #ru pauls drag race #drag queen #derrick barry #nebraska thunderfuck

[tracy-mattel]

Me w/ Bianca del Rio, Derrick Barry, Nebraska Thunderfuck and Trinity Taylor at Exodo Party: The haunted Kingdom, in Lima, Perú.

#Me #about me #Bianca Del Rio #Nebraska Thunderfuck #trinity taylor #Derrick Barry #RuPaul's Drag Race #rpdr #m&g #drag queen #drag queens #drag race

[fuckyeahdragrace]

#Coco Montrese #Kimora Blac #Derrick Barry #Nebraska Thunderfuck #Farrah Moan #Rupaul's drag race #rpdr #ru girls #fashion #las vegas #queens

[insomnias-transgender-bride]

#Derrick Barry #Nebraska Thunderfuck

[lipsyncforyourlife]

#Velo #Nebraska Thunderfuck #Nebraska Thunderfuck Discography #Derrick Barry Discography

[rpdrquotes]

**Inside the car, before Nebraska's first day at school** Alaska: Never Give in Sharon: Never Give up Alaska: Never be cruel Sharon: Never be cowardly Sharon and Alaska: And if you ever are Aquaria: Always make amends

#sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #aquaria #nebraska thunderfuck #S4 #S5 #S10 #Winners #Drag Race #incorrect quotes #clueless motherhood

[artificialqueens]

Objects in the Rear View Mirror (Craquameron) - Chapter Fourteen - Saiphl

I’ll never lie to you and that’s a fact - Chapter Fourteen

Brianna/Aquaria /Kameron PoV

And maybe I’m crazy

Oh it’s crazy and it’s true

I know you can save me

No one else can save me now but you.

I don’t even pay attention to the ceremony, how could I? Aquaria does her thing, assists Nebraska and makes sure everything goes smoothly for the work of art our little girl is on her big day. When the newly weds come out of the church, Aquaria goes in third line behind them, walking hand in hand with Kameron, both of them smiling to each other. The spell seems to break when I look intensely at them, and Kameron locks gazes with me and her smile starts fading, then comes Aquaria, who kisses Kameron’s cheek and then winks at me.

My heart is furiously thumping, and I can’t decide what’s making it worse: watching them holding hands, or the fact that no matter why, I’m utterly sure that this is all my fault. I get on my feet and before I can even make it conscious, I’m running to one of the side exits, now the crowd is gathered in front of the church for the pictures, and I can’t be there with a face full of fear and pain. I can smell the warm scent of summer afternoon, I’m almost out when I’m abruptly stopped by a firm grip on my left arm.

First instinct, I pull my arm, just to get caught by an arm around my waist. The warmth and the perfume so well known to be mistaken. Kameron wraps me with both arms, leaning her chin carefully on top of my head. “Hey… breathe, just breathe Bri, I knew you’d come here. I will always find you,” she says, softly caressing my back, and annoyance creeps over me with every second that I feel the waves of calm wrapping us, like have always been.

“No… just let me go Kammy, I can’t…” I stutter, fighting against her iron grip.

“Listen to me Bri, we don’t have a lot of time, and your family will be looking for you in any second.” She says, adjusting her position to look into my eyes. “We… Aquaria and me need to talk to you. I beg you to stop running.” Instinctively, I lean my cheek to her hand and close my eyes. Kameron always make me feel safe, and I can’t understand how can she still give me that sensation when she has just shattered my heart. “I want you to know I love you, and I always will Bri. Just give us a chance to talk.”

I nod to her, then she gives me a soft peck on the lips and release her grip from my body. I whine to the loss of her touch and a freezing sensation gets under my skin on the spots her hands touched me seconds before.

It takes me a couple more minutes to reach the restrooms in the back of the church, and I look at my reflection on the mirror, it’s clear that I’ve been crying, luckily I’m in a wedding, so no one will question my puffy eyes. I fix my makeup and by the moment I go to the front door, Jamin, Blair, Monique and Antwan  are looking for me and I can’t thank enough my dear friend and sister-in-law monopolizing me, taking me away  from the rest of my family, while I see as Aquaria and Kameron hopping on Alaska’s SUV, going to the party.

I hop on my brother’s car, I have not the strength to ride with my parents, and somehow, the silent understanding in Jamin’s face, offers the peace of mind that I’m desperately in need of. Blair fills the silence talking about how gorgeous Nebraska looks on her bridal gown, and how much her husband and her look alike.

By the time we arrive to the venue, I feel at ease, and ready to survive the evening, at least, I think I’m ready for it. Sharon leads us to a table close to theirs. Mom and her share a tight hug and some tears, all filled with the memories they’ve built together across twenty six years of friendship. Sharon tells my mom and dad that we are family and we should be close to them as that.

I see the people come and go, and I wonder if someday mom would tell the same things to Sharon and Alaska on my wedding day. Watching Aquaria and Kameron playing the perfect hosts, makes me feel that it won’t happen… at least not with Aquaria or Kameron. My heart aches a bit with that thought, because as all my life, I screwed my chances by taking so much time. I screwed my chances by being so hopelessly in love with the both of them.

And maybe I’m lonely

That’s all I’m qualified to be

There’s just one and only

One and only promise I can keep

As soon as the car gets in motion, I look at Kameron, who’s been looking down to her hands since hopping on next to me. I wrap her in my arms, quietly whispering in her ear “it’s ok baby, it’s ok… we’ll figure this out,” I say one time and another, mostly to make myself believe it, but also to keep her from start crying.

Mom looks at us from the rear view mirror, the heavy weight of her gaze falling on me like an anchor. “Girls, I know what’s happening here, so I beg you, don’t do anything you can regret.” Mom’s voice makes me jump, that’s the moment when I realize she knows… of course she does, Momma should’ve  told her everything about my concerns, and adding one plus one, she knows that both Kameron and I have our own agenda.

“We won’t Sharon, don’t worry,” Kameron says, the resolution in her voice making me shiver. Mom nods in agreement, and goes back to the road, then Momma turns a little to her side, looking at us.

“I know you’re going through a rough patch, but remember this is Nebraska’s day, so please, help us to make it easier for her.” With this final words, mom looks sympathetically at us one last time and then turns to look up ahead. Kameron sighs, kisses my cheek and then sits straight on her place, fastening her seat belt. The rest of the road to the Wedding Party is deafening silent.

The gloomy aura surrounding us along the trip fades as soon as we reach the beautiful garden Nebraska chose for the date. We all smile and greet people, say hello to our cousin Heidi and her sisters Cherry, Lola, Veruca, Kitty and Amy and we also have a chance to meet Sjoerd’s family who arrived just in time for the celebration. Kameron helps us with every single detail, from making sure the waiters did their thing in time, to helping the guests to find their tables.

Mom takes care of leading the Crackers to their places, a table just besides ours, the closest spot to Nebraska and Sjoerd’s place of honor. Brianna si looking at us from  her place on the round table, both Kameron and I smile at her, and even though she looks cheerful, I know well those smiles aren’t reaching her gorgeous eyes.

A random guy takes her to the dance floor, he’s holding her close and I can’t help the pang of jealousy hitting my chest, my first instinct is to take Kameron to the dance floor and swing close to them. Just a couple of turns and I can hear her laughing, the kind of honest laugh ringing from her mouth like the chirping of a bird. Kameron looks at her, frowning and she tightens her grip on my waist, one more turn and she kisses my lips, making it longer than expected, and making her trip on her partner’s feet.

She apologizes to the guy, who’s clearly holding back a joyful laugh, then they go back to the table. I see Brianna taking her clutch and going to the restrooms. I ask Kameron to go back to our seats and we do, then I excuse myself to the restrooms and I hurry up, just to catch Brianna there, exhaling to her reflection. “So… you’re together now?” she asks, bitterly.

“Kind of, but we… I want to talk to you” I say, stuttering, oblivious to my fingers fidgeting the edge of my gown cleavage. “Listen Bri… I… “

She turns to face me “save it Aquaria, if you’re going to say that you love me, it’s fair for you to know your girlfriend told exactly the same to me back in the church”, the annoyance in her voice cutting like a knife on my spirit.

“Well… that’s true if I may say, we both love you, so much that it hurts.” I say, the pain in my voice too clear to my own taste, this meant to be a statement, not a plea. “But I need to know what do you think, what do you feel.” At that point, I feel my resolution crashing to the floor.

She sighs loudly “listen Aquaria, I don’t really know what the fuck to think right now. I feel hurt, and confused and utterly mad at the both of you” she says, and her voice cracks. “You both say you love me but your PDAs tell me you’re head over heels into each other. I’m finding really hard to believe those ‘I love yous’, when all you do is show how in love you two are.”

I groan in frustration. “Because you’re doing anything but hiding! How do you think I felt when I saw you leave that room refusing our company?” I ask, raising my voice. She takes a couple of steps to me. “Then nothing but silence, you think you’re making it easy for us, but NO!” I take a deep breathe, and she’s right in front of me. “You’re just being a brat… a very selfish one, because we know very well what do we want, and that is you, me and her… the three of us together.”

Brianna arches a brow and shifts the weight of her body from one leg to the other. “Us? Together? That one is good,” the sarcasm in her voice hits me with such a force that I need to grab myself to some sturdy surface. “Yeah, I thought so… just leave me alone, and don’t hurt her, she’s a good person, please make sure to not break her heart as you did with mine.” With those last words, she walks around me, and leaves the place. I cry.

After a while you’ll forget everything

Just a brief interlude,

and a mid-summer night’s fling

Then you’ll see that it’s time to move on

I notice Aquaria has been off for a while, so I go to look for her, I have this sensation of something going wrong and I’m sure this has something to do with Brianna. We went too far with the kiss on the dance floor and I guess things are out of control right now. I reach the restrooms in time to see Brianna leaving, I barely see Aquaria curled over herself and I run to her.

“What happened baby? are you ok?” I ask, lifting her face to look at her eyes. My heart breaks a little when I see her crying and I feel the urge to bring Brianna back and force some common sense into her head. Aquaria looks at me, she seems lost and I just hug her tightly “I know you’re not right, I’ll end this… right now.” I kiss her forehead and then her lips, then I release her and she tries to stop me but I easily move away.

Once I’m out, I can see Brianna on the far side of the hallway, she’s smoking and I see a line of tears sliding through her cheeks. Now I’m furious. I walk to her as fast as I can, and she tries to sneak away but she can’t escape me. “Alright Bri, we’re talking right now… and no, I’m not releasing you until you promise you’re gonna listen to me.”

She nods after a couple of seconds, taking a last drag of her cigarette, and disposing the buttock on the ashtray behind her. “Well… I hear you Kameron, and it’d be better if you don’t waste my time.” Her voice, low as a threat, I sigh and look straight at her.

“I don’t know what Aquaria told you, but I can make up for my own mind”, I start, trying not to scare her. “I’ve been thinking since that night at my parent’s house… I know for sure that I like her, more than I expected…” She’s about to speak, but I raise my hand, asking her to wait for me to finish my idea. “But truth is, I love you too, and I refuse to let you go, no matter what. I was dumb enough to let you go when we had our chance and I wouldn’t forgive myself if I let you go now.”

She lit another cigarette, takes a drag and slowly exhales the smoke; then she looks back at me “Then comes the same bullshit that Aquaria said, that you want the three of us being together, isn’t it?” The tone in her voice is full of poison and sarcasm, I know for sure she’s hurt; I take the cigarette out of her hand and take a drag myself taking her by surprise. “Honestly Kam, I don’t know how it will work, as far as Aquaria is demanding and I have no patience to deal with starting an experiment that’s bound to fail.”

I give the cigarette back to her and look straight into her eyes “Brianna, I need you to listen to me carefully.” My voice is low and husky, I know she’s hurt, and I know Aquaria is hurt, and as much I’d like to go through my own pain, I need to do something, before everything between us becomes a fading memory. “We had a long conversation after you left us that night. There are two things we know for sure, the most important of those, being that we both are in love with you. The other is that we are attracted to each other,” saying this words out loud is relieving, and I’m sure it shows in my face.

“Then comes that part when we decided to give it a try with the both of us. Against all odds, it’s working but there’s still a missing part. Said missing part is you, because we’ll never be complete without you around.” Brianna looks at me in disbelief, her mouth still closed and her head falling to one side.

“So, you expect me falling head first to this idea, don’t you?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper. “If I wasn’t sure, right now I know that ain’t gonna happen” she says, the weight of her words hitting me stronger than the moment she left the room a week ago.

“You can’t be this stubborn, for real. Can’t you see you’re refusing yourself the chance to finally be at ease?” I ask, getting exasperated. “You love her, and me… and I love you, with all my heart, clearly Aquaria does too, what else do you need to understand Brianna? WE-ARE-NOT-COMPLETE-WITHOUT-YOU!”

Brianna takes a step back, looking straight at me, her mouth opens and closes a couple of times, no words falling from her. “I’m up to try, to share with the both of you. She’s up to try and give herself to us. Why is it so hard for you to understand we want to love you?” my words last for a moment in the warm air of the evening.

She closes the distance between us to lay a hand on my cheek, then she kisses me and I melt on the taste of her lips. “I… can’t promise it will work, but I can try…”, she whispers to my lips. “I love you… the both of you.”  

Not long after that, we join Aquaria on the restroom, she’s fixing her makeup. Her eyes still puffy from crying. Brianna walks to her and lay a hand on her shoulder, Aquaria turns to look at her and they hug and I join them, getting high on the mix of their perfumes. We’re ok, we will be always ok.

As long as the wheels are turning

As long as the fires are burning

As long as your prayers are coming true

You’d better believe it, that I would do

Anything for love

And you know it’s true and that’s a fact.

#rear view mirror #saiphl #craquameron #throuple #aquaria #kameron michaels #miz cracker #blair st clair #acid betty #bob the drag queen #thorgy thor #monique heart #asia o'hara #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #nebraska thunderfuck #rpdr fanfiction #lesbian au #poly #s10 #submission

[midsomerrhapsody]

Mackenzie Claude for TNG Models.

#Mackenzie Claude #Nebraska Thunderfuck #Male Model #LGBT

[ohhhhoneeey]

Ahhh this vid is sooo pretty

#rpdr #rpdr as4 #rupaul's drag race #rupauls all stars #derrick barry #alaska thunderfvck 5000 #theonlyalaska5000 #nebraska #nebraska thunderfuck #throuple #photography #photografy #photoshoot #photooftheday #vegas