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kessellluvr · 4 months

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˗ˏˋ once in a lifetime ´ˎ˗ nsfw!

pairing: professor!lottie x spouse!reader (i might write more for this ‘series’) wordcount: 1k

warnings: smut, vibrator use, age gap, mommy kink, fingering, dirty texing, teasing

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ taglist: @glrlsriot @chig78 @nogenderblender9358 @mayasaurusss @jadeisnothere5

You and lottie have been married for about 5 years now, she was the perfect partner for you. The day you first saw her in that café, oh damn, you fell in love with her.. that long black braid, the layered strands that framed her face so perfectly, defining her high cheekbones and that beautiful jawline. You repeatedly went to that café, praying to see her again - and well, somehow you ended up marrying that goddess.

Lottie worked alot, but she was passionate about her job - helping people to get further education to success in life. Of course, it was hard only seeing her on weekend and in the evenings, but you managed. Lottie teaches psychology and maths (sorry not sorry), you didnt have a clue about either of them so you werent really a big help. You and Lottie text alot when shes at work, just talking and when you realise she wasnt in a good mood, you decided to lighten it up a little..

“Hey Lots, i miss you..” you sent, still laying in bed even tho it was 11:30am already. Lottie could never, she’s always been an early bird.

“I miss you too.” she texted you back and oh that was dry, wasnt it? She usually uses pet names in her texts, trying to get you worked up. “You okay?” you asked her, sighing to yourself as you put the phone aside, throwing the blanket off yourself and sitting up. Your phone vibrated on the bedside table and you went to check what she replied.

“Im fine, really.” you read, raising your eyebrow and scoffing. “No Lots, youre not, talk to me. I can tell youre pissed.” you werent gonna give up that fast. As she read your message and didnt reply, you felt a little sting in your heart. Leaving you on seen? Really? Anyway, you went to get out of bed, leaving your phone on the bedside table and making your way into the bathroom. You stared at yourself for a good minute before splashing some water in your face, drying it off with a towel before going to brush your teeth.

As you finished getting ready, slipping into some pj’s and a shirt, you went to check your phone again. Still, no answer. You sighed and decided to try something else - lifting your shirt and taking a quick picture of your tummy, the soft curve of your boobs peaking from beneath your shirt. You hit the sent button and added another message “Answer me..” Fuck. That sounded desperate.

Meanwhile, Lottie saw your message - raising a brow and opening the picture, her eyes going wide as she looked at it for a while, trying not to show how much it affected her since she was literally in a room full of colleagues right now. “Jesus.. im just a little pissed off cause we got our new schedule in, i have to work full eight hours on friday.”

Your eyes lit up as you finally saw her respond, reading her message before typing “Awh that sucks.. but youll get home earlier on other days then, right?” you asked and she replied with a “yes”, you smiled - finally you could get to see her more throughout the week. I mean, that one day of working full wasnt gonna hurt, right?

“So, are you teaching right now or are ya on break?”

“just started my lecture.” you smiled at your phone, deciding to tease her a little. “mhm, im feeling horny right now.. mommy what do i do?”

“jeez, you know what to do.” you just knew she was trying so hard not to show a reaction infront of her students.

“no, tell me what to do mommy..”

“get the bullet vibrator we got you.” lottie texted back, you smiled brightly at your phone and rushed into the bedroom to get the vibrator. it was rather small, a bullet-like shape but a little bigger. it was a hot pink colour, even had tons of diffrent levels.

“hm i got it..”

“take off your boxers, turn it on lowest level and press it against ur pretty little clit.” and you did as she said, pulling down your sweatpants along with your boxers and turning the toy on lowest level, spreading your legs and pressing it lightly onto your clit - gasping as it made contact. “done” you typed out - hands shaky.

lottie left your message on seen, you didnt really notice - getting lost in yourself. the bedroom door swung open and revealed lottie, you gasped once again and lottie just chuckled. “fucking hell, you werent gonna cum without me telling you to, were you?” she teased as she walked towards the bed, undoing the buttons of her blouse and throwing it to the floor carelessly. “n-no lottie..” you stammered out, the vibrator was turned off and laid to the bedside table. “d-dont you have some lectures to do?”

“fuck that. i said i wasnt feeling well.” lottie said while going to straddle your hips, pushing your upper body down to the bed. you bit your lip, looking up at her with needy eyes. lottie smirked down at you, leaning down to press a kiss on your lips, her tounge slowly pushing in and meeting the tip of yours. her hand slipped between you both, her finger grazing over your swollen, wet clit. you moaned into the kiss, feeling her applying more pressure to your sensitive bud, slowly circling it while not breaking the kiss. she pulled her lips off of yours, gasping for air while going to press her fingers against your entrance- slowly pushing in and curling up, making you throw your head back. she started pumping her fingers faster, making you gasp and moan, you felt yourself so close to cumming already - lottie just knew where to touch you to make you come quck. your moans got louder, more desperate for release. “cum for mommy..” and you did, letting yourself get consumed by the orgasmic pleasure as you cried out her name, your thighs clenching together. lottie kept fingering you through your orgasm - until she finally pulled out and looked at you with a satisfied smile. “now, let me take a shower and we’ll continue..”

“can i join..?” you asked, still catching your breath as you looked at her with those cute eyes. “cmon then.”

━。゜AN: i know its not much, but i hope you enjoyed >_<

#yellowjackets #lottie yellowjackets #lottie mathews x reader #adult lottie #lottie x reader #lottie matthews #lottie matthews smut #charlotte matthews #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets smut #lesbian #simone kessell #nat scatorccio #yellowjackets season 2 #yellowjackets s2

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nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj · 17 days

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Looong rant about chapter 16 Ptolemy's Gate and how being passive can add to the cycle of ab*se.

oof so I just read when Nat goes to see Ms Lutyens and I can't help but be absolutely furious at her??

I know that's maybe a little bit unfair given she's frightened of him as a magician and is obviously angry when she finds out the department he's responsible for, but honestly it kinda brings up the problem with inadvertent bystanders to child ab*se in my mind.

And I'm definitely not blaming her solely for who Nat becomes but it makes me think of all those people in huge child ab*se cases who give interviews to press about all the things they noticed that were wrong but they just...never do anything?

She stood up for him against Lovelace, and when Nat thanked her- "I wanted to say that I know you were trying to save me, and-"

''Yes, and I'm sorry I didn't" Like girl be for real did you really think that alone would undo the years of indoctrination and abuse he's already suffered and prevent years worth of the same in the years to come? And she won't take responsibility - "My job is with children, not the adults they become" and again while it seems harsh to blame her for who Nat becomes, it's so much easier to pass the blame to people who are more directly responsible rather than acknowledging you also play a part.

I think it hurts so much more because it's her specifically- Nat goes to her in sheer desperation, it almost seems like a goodbye- he wants to thank her, tries to set her up in a job that will pay well and struggles to communicate he's trying to help. At this point he thinks Bartimaeus has been summoned by another magician and his birth name will be revealed. He's sure he's about to die and if not he'll be stood on trial and lose everything.

He goes to her because she represents the peaceful moments from his childhood when he got away from his master. He's scared and feeling lost and really it's call for help; but he doesn't ask for anything he just wants to make her feel proud of him- he's looking for that validation that he's been chasing since childhood.

And that shows he still does have that little bit of childhood innocence in him; he thinks she will be proud, thinks she'll see him as the same little boy in the garden gazing up at his teacher in adoration. He can't quite grasp why she's separated the man stood before her from that little boy. Because in that moment the child inside Nathaniel is seeking comfort AND THAT'S WHY it makes me so angry. She's completely given up on him when he's at his lowest ebb, because she doesn't want to be associated with the magician he's become. As if it isn't a massive step in the right direction that he saught her out in the first place- what other magican would bother? I wonder if that's why she reacted so strongly to seeing him again? Before that moment she could go about her life wondering if /pretending her attempt to protect him was enough, and now she realises it wasn't, of course it wasn't, and the image she had of Nathaniel's childhood innocence is completely ruined in her mind.

Or was her contempt for him even grater than Nat realised? She was naturally disgusted by the rhetoric he'd started to repeat from a young age, and gently tried to correct him although she was clearly angry- was she just resigned to the fact that there is little else she could do to change his future? I always thought- couldn't she have looked for him? The Underwood house fire was in the papers and they mentioned the apprentice was being searched for. Did she ever worry about him? Surely something must have been in the papers since- an announcement of new ministers, ANYTHING! Look at how much research Kitty did to find out about Bartimaeus and Ptolemy. I just don't think Rosanna Lutyens cared enough, realistically Nathaniel wasn't hard to find- but he was no longer her responsibility so she could turn a blind eye.

And sadly it's not just her- I know everyone loves Martha Underwood including Nat; but I think her submissiveness to her husband has a negative effect on Nathaniel as well. In AOS when Nat is locked in his room for ages after setting the mites loose, and is forbidden to have any contact with anyone and she won't talk with him. I know she's been told by Mr. Underwood she can't, but it still boils my blood. She's an adult and going along with ignoring Nathaniel because her husband told her to...I can't even begin to imagine the psychological damage that would do to a 10 year old child. (It could be argued she's frightened of the consequences if her husband finds out she's disobeyed him which is fair, he could always be watching through magic- but this is Arthur Underwood we're talking about. He's lazy, oblivious and weak I doubt he'd expend all that energy each day to check up on her.)

And It's even more painful that Nathaniel is often described as fiercely loyal to her and I think to Ms Lutyens as well- he doesn't expect to be treated well by Arthur Underwood but he loved Mrs Underwood and Ms Lutyens so much he started to view them through a rose-coloured lense. He never feels betrayed by either of them, even though they absolutely let him down, because the pedestal he's put them on is too high AND THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS ME.

Would things with Nathaniel have been any different if Mrs Underwood hadn't died? I don't really think so. Do you think she'd see Nathaniel's temper at 14 years old and be reminded of Arthur Underwood? He was awful, absolutely awful to Nat and to her; but he was under so much stress in an underfunded departement, where pressure was being put on him by superiors to accomplish far more than they knew him to be capable of, and he took it out on the easiest target. Nathaniel ends up in exactly the same place and he starts to take it out on the only person around him- Bartimaeus. Would he snap at Mrs Underwood all the time if she were still there? Because he's learnt that behaviour from his father figure, and subconsciously learnt from his mother figure that she'll put up with it. He learnt from the woman he loved so deeply, that if you don't resist, people will walk all over you. So you have to maintain control even if it ends up hurting people you care about because no one will step in to stop the suffering no matter how much you love them, no matter how much you want them too.

It's easy to blame Arthur Underwood and Simon Lovelace and the magicians that actively hurt Nathaniel but I just feel like it's a bit disingenuous not to acknowledge the role of those doing passive harm. It's really mean to say it but even Bartimaeus plays a role- he knows Nat is clinging on to him because he can't 'bring himself to break this last connection' (to his childhood) but instead of bringing it up properly he 'taunts' Nathaniel- a boy who has been taunted for his weakness by his master for years. And even in AOS when Nathaniel tells Bartimaeus he was beaten for the mites incident Bart just kinda shrugs it off. Like I get it, why should Bartimaeus do anything, he's suffered way worse due to the system so he doesn't owe Nat anything right? But from Nat's point of view this is the first and only time he's mentioned to anyone what has happened to him and nothing changes. It's like another lesson learnt: telling someone about it doesn't help. Another nail in the coffin.

And I like all these characters, I feel bad for them. They're all victims of the system, I think the chapter with Ms Lutyens is just the straw that broke the camel's back for me. All of those little opportunities that are insignificant to the narrative over all; the commoners have it worse, Nathaniel is in a privileged position in society, exerting control over others. He's very morally grey, crossing over into objectively bad person territory but I love him with my whole heart and all of those insignificant moments would have been massive to him whether he was conscious of it or not.

And it goes all the way back to the beginning with Nat's parents giving him up to the magicians at 5 years old. I can't get the image of that little boy sat crying all alone in the government building. And he's not going somewhere safer, or somewhere he'll be happier and more loved. Giving your child over to a total stranger, oh he'll be totally fine won't he? He'll grow up to be a magician and far richer than you'll ever be, he'll be happy and comfortable and be grateful he got to grow up in luxury. There's no way a stranger you've never met, who the majority of society is terrified of would ever hurt a vulnerable little kid right? And if they do? Well you aren't responsible anymore, how could you know? What could you possibly do against the magician taking care of him?

Every little thing is another grain of sand tipping the scale. Did anyone else have to analyse An Inspector Calls in school? It feels like that to me- those BIG moments and all the little moments in between that add onto the pile.

And it goes on to cause problems in wider society too- ab*se is so normalised to the magicians, they casually ask Underwood if he hits Nathaniel like it's nothing. Because to them it is nothing, they've all grown up in the same circumstances and are repeating what they've learnt as children. I can't help but feel a little sorry for them all, especially when they aren't looked at through the black and white lense of 'argh these people are the evil arseholes look at how they treat everyone around them, screw these guys.' When we see those little glimpses of humanity like Simon's anxiety with the amulet; looking to his master and father figure Schyler for reassurance, and what's sad is that Nat is "reminded...of his own master's cold impatience" It's clear Simon looks up to his master, wants to make him proud and loves him. But it seems like Schyler has just trained Simon up so he can get power through him later on. I love the little hints of similarities between Simon and Nathaniel; the anxious mannerisms like fiddling with his hair that Nathaniel starts to develop, the way their master's talk to them. Even though they're actively working against each other in AOS and Simon is placed firmly in the baddies category and Nat in the goodies category at this point in the series; these things always hinted to me they had similar childhoods, how was Simon treated? When he had the imp beat Nat into unconsciousness, was it because he'd had the same punishment used against him? Did he know the magicians in the room would do nothing to stop him because no one stopped it from happening to him? Did he ever have a teacher stand up for him only for it to change nothing in the end because all the negative influences were so much stronger? Is the reason he loves Schyler like a dad because he's almost developed Stockholm syndrome? It looks like love because he's never known anything else.

And Arthur Underwood- who doesn't think his upbringing, and being taken away from his family ever did him any harm- doesn't realise the harm done is that he doesn't even know another way of raising Nathaniel, because he was never shown another way. His childhood may also have been filled with people who hurt him and the people that didn't do enough to intervene.

There are so many psychology studies that show children copy everything they see the adults in their life doing. Nathaniel copies the magicians behaviour towards spirits and on a subconscious level I think he copies all the submissive people in his life. How many times does he end up upset and frustrated with the fact he seems to be going nowhere and how many times does he just hope things will be different rather than taking postive action.

I dislike the actions the magicians end up taking but I also find them fascinating to analyse. I tend to prefer villains in media because they're usually slightly more complex individuals and I love to think about how they ended up that way. They can all be seen as victims of their circumstances in a way, despite all the power and privilege they have had terrible and traumatic childhoods, and if the commoners had no valuable worldy possessions at least they had a sense of togetherness; of love and understanding and selflessness. I wonder if the magicians hated them at least partly because of that. Because out in the sea of faces of the commoners talking about nothing important, doing nothing great and noble- could be the parents that abandoned them. And when your life is on the line daily because of working with spirits, and your colleagues want to stab you in the back, sometimes not being responsible for anything important looks good. But you can't leave your life as a magician, it would be too difficult; you have nowhere to go, no real friends, no one who really loves you. So it's better to stay and be a submissive bystander in your own life because it's so much easier.

Doing nothing is doing something- being passive can be just as harmful.