#Namjoon Kim | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

abloomingperiod · 1 year

Text

you | kim namjoon

the streets of seoul never seemed so cool and grey. or maybe they did, but you didn't pay attention because your eyes were always glued to the tanned, radiant man that used to keep them busy.

used to. 3 weeks ago, you would've never thought of that. he wasn't that stupid, no. he wouldn't just pretend he was never there, every few days at times. he couldn't. right?

if only you could've faced it without 1 bottle of wine every three days and tears streaming down your face now and then - daily.

yes. yes, he could. and he did.

now that you realize, maybe, these streets were never radiant. maybe, it was just a sudden, fast ray of light that promised to warm whatever corner it could, even if just casually, but couldn't keep the promise.

as you enter your apartment complex and make your way to your doorway, you feel a thump in your heart that seems louder than the one your feet did to stop you in your tracks.

he is unbelievable.

there he was, standing in his glory, black sweatshirt with the cap on. he knew, by now, how much you liked this comfy look on him, which only made your blood boil even more.

"hey." was all that left his mouth, his gaze scanning you like he was remembering every inch of you his hands used to travel through.

and god, did he miss that.

"hi," you responded, keeping the same frozen posture. it's not like you wanted to move. or could. you felt as if you moved, your body would get out of the shock and simply crumble "what are you doing here?"

"can't i see you now?" that smug, shameless face of his, that used to make your stomach flutter like a high schooler, now making you wish you could tear it down with your own hands.

"are you fucking serious?" you said, your voice already raising a note. please, be cool, you beg yourself.

he seemed taken aback, and at the same time, not surprised. namjoon knew there wasn't chance for him to play dumb. there never was, at least with you.

he looked down, broad shoulders and smug expression falling, hands on his pocket, like a deer caught in the lights.

"i'm sorry"

"oh, you're sorry! thank you, that solves everything out" you retorted, "what the fuck do you need?"

"i wanna talk to you", he responds, looking up, scanning from your toes to your eyes and you swear you had to hold you breath for a second before his eyes met yours.

you scoff, "and you needed to disappear for 3 weeks to figure that out?" you kept staring at his eyes, burning holes in them. "3 weeks, namjoon."

"i know-"

"your friends wouldn't tell me where you were!" at this point, you're basically screaming, but you knew - or at least expected after 3 months seeing him - he wasn't the type to invalidate your emotions. especially in this particular fuck up of his. "why the fuck did you need to come here? just find another fuck and get lost again! you clearly have no problem with that just please, don't fucking pretend to befriend them for that."

"that's absolutely not what happened" he defends himself, his voice now raising a little. "i needed space..."

"fuck you" you hiss at him, your eyes red, fighting the urge to not let the tears you so thought had dried on their won roll down your cheeks, "i never did anything for this to be necessary. when exactly did i beg for you to stay for the weekend, huh? when did i repeated over and over for you that i loved-" your voice cracks at that word, and you catch his eyebrows fall a little, "spending time with you? or.. jesus, when did i let everything and went running to your house because you were sick? that wasn't me, was it"

he looks up, eyes wide and about to explain himself as he tries to approach you, but you take a step back. "don't you dare"

he sighs, but it doesn't seem like an angry sound. no, he seems troubled. defeated, even.

"i understand" he returns his eyes to the ground and bites his lower lip. "people were murmuring about it back at the agency... i know it sounds stupid, but i didn't want the risk of you waking up one day and a bunch of pictures being splattered all over the news"

you laugh bitterly at his explanation, not because you couldn't believe the scenario. that really could happen someday. but you were aware of that from day one, and he knew that. why the fuck did his friends couldn't say anything but "he's okay"?

you wipe your face, trying to calm yourself and keep the last drops of dignity you had within you, "you know... i didn't expect any sort of commitment from you. we both made that very clear from the start, and i kept my word. you changed that, when you decided to act like a fucking-" you don't let the word boyfriend come out. no, you were too proud to admit you were seeing him like that - even though, he caused it himself. "if you would be that much scared, why did you even start it all? do you really don't give one singular shit about anyone but yoursel-"

"i couldn't keep my hands off of you" he says, eyes still on the ground, and for the first time in this encounter, you said nothing back, not even a sound. "i couldn't stop thinking about you, even before all this. i also didn't wanna fuck up our friendship. then, when you called me for that glass of wine, and i got here and saw you in that robe...... i thought it would be a good idea, you know, friends that fuck now and then... i didn't wanna lose your friendship, but shit, y/n" he then looks up at your eyes and lips, his gaze repeating the path over and over again, "you," he seems as if he's trying to find the right words, but all he can continue with is, "you."

"so you did all this shit because you liked what you saw. what a fucking friend you are." now, no tears leave your eyes. just fire, pure hurt and anger. "do you do that a lot? sleep with your friends, make them fall for you every fucking hook up and then fuck off-"

"i can't be friends with you" he responds, and your instinct is to simply laugh nonchalantly at that, attempting to hide the hurt his confirmation brought.

"well, no shit now. i kinda figured that out by myself. are you that dense to not understand that you didn't have to come all the way-"

and then, his tone comes back to the normal, that serene and low one you're familiar with after waking up next to him a dozen times, "i'm in love with you."

if you thought your heart had dropped all the way down the street, you were wrong. now, it was no longer there. it was lost, leaving a hole in your chest.

"don't say that" you your eyes drowning again, your whole body feeling small and exposed at his words.

"i'm in love with you" he repeats, slowly walking closer to you, his arms already lifting to make their way to the crook of your elbows like he used to do to grab your attention.

"stop it" you say, noticing the space between you being closed second by second, but not moving an inch.

"i'm in love with you, y/n" he says one more time, and you feel his warm hands touching your arms, carefully caressing them like you were about to break at any point.

"you're a fucking coward for going this far" you still couldn't believe his words. "is it really that worth it? leaving me like a fucking one night stand and not your fucking friend, before anything? you already got what you wanted, multiple times. go your own way, please" your voice cried the last word, barely emitting any sound, and at that moment he understood it. you thought he was playing with you to get into your pants again, the thought making him feel offended by a second before reminiscing about his last actions.

"i'm not living until you listen to me" he says in a strong remark, a polar opposite of his hands in your arms like his life depended on it.

you keep staring at him, eyes sad and yet full of fury, the sight alone breaking his heart over and over whilst making him panic, and he takes your silence as a green light to talk.

"i'm not here to excuse myself out of what i did, and i know no matter what i say, i hurt you, my friend and..."- he seems to think for a second, staring at your arms and sadly contorting the corner of his mouth, and your heart couldn't be beating more rapidly now. "i'm sorry, and i'll always be for this, and if you don't want to be near me again, i understand, but please, please, don't think i'm saying anything but the truth for you. i can't spend any other day thinking about how and what to say to you, and believe me, i tried. but even when i tried to fucking stay away from you, you- god" he closed the distance between you bodies in a seemingly desperate motion, his eyes now red, "you were all over the place. your shampoo, your perfume, your clothes," he said as his hands traveled up your shoulders, then collarbones, coming back to your arms and repeating the path until it turned into a repeated caress. his voice cracking a bit "baby..." and at that, you start sobbing again.

your mind is a whirlwind. your stomach turns in and out of itself, and just now, as his head is hanging low from his neck, you notice a bouquet of roses hanging on your doorknob behind him.

the night was coming up. after all this time, you still can't process how time flies when you're with him.

you both stand there for what you're sure feels like more than a whole minute, and you feel his hands dropping, much like his head.

"i'm sorry" he murmurs, sniffling and reaching for the bouquet but before he can reach it, your hand grab his and you pull him for the most desperate, urgent kiss you ever had. even more than the ones before three glasses of wine, or the silly bickering you used to have with each other. like you feared he would slip away, like a dream when the morning comes.

his arms embraces your torso like you were something he never wanted to let go off his warmth, as if you were his to be. your hands go through his hair, cheeks, around his neck and anywhere else it could go, your body finally getting the specific embrace you oh so missed.

you part lips for a second, tears less prominent and definitely happier and your eyes stare at each other's mouth, already missing the softness, intensity and passion only your lips together could create.

you smile like two silly lovers, the two silly lovers you were finally showing out to be.

"please, don't leave again" you say, eyes finding his as your hands caress his puffy cheeks. "please".

"i swear," his hands now being the ones catching you cheeks "swear on my own life," he drops a kiss on your lips, "to do whatever i can to reinforce that every fucking day" his thumbs caressing you lovingly, like you were the only thing existing in the world "if you let me."

you smile at him, your breaths mixing together just like it used to, but in a much more intimate way than any hook-up you guys have ever had, "of course i do."

he kisses you in a much more slow, deep pace now. the soft taste of his that you were so immersed in entering your mouth and making your heart flutter over and over again. you both try, but can't stop smiling throughout your kiss, but that wasn't a problem. not for you.

"i love you" you confess to him, and seeing his satisfied sigh, your lips leave seconds-lasting pecks on his lips, as you keep repeating "i love you"s like a pray.

and like that, even with the night fully surrounding the city, every ounce of warmth seemed to have come back to you.

#kim namjoon #i'm legit writing this listening to dear john as if i couldn't suffer enough just by typing #kim namjoon drabble #namjoon kim #rm #rm imagine #kim namjoon imagine #bts namjoon #kim namjoon angst #can you tell he's my bias

48 notes · View notes

seacharms · 1 year

Text

BTS reaction to helping you with writer's block (Idol AU) (Suga and RM)

~Hey guys! I know I've not updated in a LONG time but I was busy with all the shifting and stuff :l anyways back to the story.~

Kim Namjoon🐨:

You were in comeback season, you were the songwriter of your group and you were on writer's block! UGH JUST PERFECT! You told Namjoon about your writer's block, and he didn't even say anything, he simply crashed his lips softly on yours. "N - Namjoon, w- what are you d- doing?" You said stuttering. "Giving you inspiration, Jagi" he said as he undressed you both slowly while kissing your shoulder blade. He picked you up and took you into the bedroom. The next thing you knew, you were on the bed with him on top of you, and the room was dimly lit. You both had one hell of a night. You used the feelings of last night in your song. Your song went viral! Namjoon heard it and gosh, this man had the biggest smirk on his face. "I see that I inspire you as well? Thank you Jagi".

Daddy Joon

Yoongi 🐈:

"Yoongi ah" you said, "hm? What do you need aegi?" he answered from the kitchen. You told him about your writer's block, and he understood every word you said since he had also encountered it many times throughout his career. He was never the one for touchy ness but he knew how much your lyrics meant to you and your fans. So, he embraced you in his hands and whispered sweet things to you. Enough to make you blush and to make your musical brain work. He looked at you proudly as you wrote your lyrics the same night. After weeks of hard work, you finally released the song. He was the first one to listen to it, he was just so goddamn proud of you when he realized that the song was about him. His heart melted and felt even more love for you. He felt like you were his little kitten and he had to protect you from the world. He surprised you with a dinner date that evening. ( he did the cooking ) <3.

OMG, THIS BABY IS SO PRECIOUS !!

18 notes · View notes